#always get sick at the worst times

[milkweedman]

I made a spicy vegetable miso soup with lots of ginger to try and fix what ails me and honestly 10/10. Works every time

#cooking #it also just tastes great which is nice bc almost nothing tastes even ok #am used to everything tasting like ash or cardboard or straight up nothing since the last covid #so when something actually has a taste and its good !! so nice #energy levels are 0 out of 1 million tho. and so many things to do #always get sick at the worst times

[stealingpotatoes]

luke and biggs… thoughts?

many thoughts + it means luke has a type

#its so insane when u think abt it as a 'they never acted on it' love story #like u finally reunite w ur bestie and childhood crush u think its gonna be great finally flying togehter properly #u think maybe u'll say smthn when u get back from this if u survive #u dont even consider that HE might not survive #and so on the same day u become a hero to the galaxy u lose the one last part of home u had left #and u know its not the same as leia but my god ur planet might as well have just blown up #cause theres nothing left of the place u called home. nobody to share ur childhood memories with #the one escaped tatooine first. the one u always loved. hes gone #and worst of all nowhere to put that overwhelming love you've been keeping inside all this time. it has to stay in ur chest forever #luke skywalker #thanks for the ask! #biggsluke #skylighter #< also it has a sick secondary ship name

[fizzytoo]

"do you like it?" "darling, i love it."

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #postcard legacy challenge #im gonna pass away #rua's vocabulary is full of pet names and words of adoration #adrien has some for him too. a few in spanish that make rua shiver. #he braided adrien's hair btw 😖 he loves to play with his hair #since adrien started growing his hair out he's caught rua a few times looking up long hairstyle tutorials 😭😭 #“my love come sit” he'll pat the couch enthusiastically “let me fix your hair” #and when he's done adrien would complement him and ask him where he learned it #rua would puff out his chest proudly and say “learn it? ive always known this” or “my angel i made it up for you” #and adrien lets him get away with it bc it's cute and harmless #rua's love languages are acts of service and physical touch #he's so sick i cant stand him #YOU SEE HOW THEYRE MATCHING LOWKEY!!!!!!! IM GONNA GO CRAZY #postcard: gen3 #queue #i switched a lot of feminine frame hairs to allow for masc frames and many of them worked #save for a bit of clipping around adrien’s back. i think the one he’s wearing now is the worst of it but it’s not too bad to bother me #i still haven’t figured out how to properly convert it in blender so this will have to do #sim: adrien herrera #sim: rua kamealoha

[jewishfalin]

There is a very specific sort of antisemitism that is seemingly common in mental health facilities and its fucking terrifying

#the last 2 times ive been in a mental hospital it was always the most visibly jewish person who got targeted by nurses #and i happened to be the most visibly jewish person in a psychward the last time #its like. the 1st time there were more jewish people in there and the one of us who got it the worst was an older woman with bipolar disord #and like. many of us who noticed how terrible she was getting treated had to tell staff off multiple times #like wtf stop u r literally just poking her with a stick at this point trying to get her to have a meltdown so u have an excuse #to lock her away #it was so fucked #and the rest of us jews in there were like... slightly more stable enough to ignore the taunting from staff #like they'd find the smallest shit to get on our asses about or tell us we're being delusional abt things out of nowhere #like they tried to get a rise out of us specifically so they could frame us as crazy and neurotic when we get frustrated #and the last time i had the mosfortune of being the 1 of 2 jews who was visible and very unstable #i was made sick by nurses on purpose and then gaslit when i was up all night vomiting #i had to be given an injection and sedated the next day just so i would stop projectile vomiting all over my room #i had multiple seizures and they told.me i was throwing myself on the floor #they did things to make me break on purpose #and they did it to others to but #it was different w how they did it to me? #and when they didn't let me go to the main eating area bc i kept fainting/seizing they ordered me shit with pork when i have kosher diet #it was fucked and i know this is a problem #its a problem in outpatient too #i ended up homeless for like a year bc an antisemitic counselor fucked me over #vent

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[hella1975]

just watched liverleaf! i will never be the same

#OH MY FUCKING GOD???? #whenever tiktok gets a hold of a film i always assume the worst but the liverleaf trend was sooo sick #and i was so curious about what the fuck and hell was going on with the camera/crossbow #so i decided to give it a go bc despite the trend giving it more attention now it's still a pretty unknown film #and it had a v low budget (what i would GIVEEE for it to have had a bigger budget omd) #AND IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. LIKE ACTUALLY #THE PLOT? JAW DROPPING. THE CHARACTERS? INSANE. THE ACTING? PHENOMENAL. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY? BEST OF ANYTHING IVE SEEN LATELY #LIKE ALL OF THE SCENES WERE SO BEAUTIFULLY DONE THE FAMOUS CAMERA ONE FR IS JUST ONE OF DOZENS AMAZINGLY SHOT #THE BLOOD IN THE SNOW THEME THROUGHOUT. YOU AGREE #THE CHASE SCENE THAT INSPIRED JJK (at leats ive been told it did. if not then liverleaf needs to sue mappa bc they did it first) #i will say the gore/violence scenes were such victims of the low budget like they were downright laughable at times #BUT I SAW THE VISION! and the rest of the film more than made up for it #god i want to EAT this film. it has CANON TOXIC YURU #liverleaf summary by hella1975: average teen homoerotic friendship breakup #liverleaf #film rec

[nektaarr]

The heater in our office shut down and it‘s been only around 13 degrees inside the whole morning ;;

#my hand are freezing and my feet too #i‘m wearing 3 layers plus my winter jacket #uff #the heater‘s been randomly going on and off over the past few weeks #but yousually it would always go back on after 2-3 hours #but i feel like this time its different #😭 #its the worst when you‘re only sitting in front of the computer and not get to move around at all #also i lack a lot of energy bc i slept so bad last night and #i dont habe anything proper to eat for lunch #so staying warm isnt very the easiest task for my body today #what a way to start the week #;; #but alhamdulillah! #it always could be worse i guess #;-;b #yxc #(wow the amount of typos i made just shows how cold and tired i am loll) #wouldnt be too surprised if i got sick

[kavehater]

I don’t think the weird anxiety/panic will ever leave my tumblr experience🧍‍♀️

#idk like I feel like I’m in the worst place imaginable rn #dora daily #there are no words to appropriately explain how unimportant I feel on this site 🧎‍♀️not because of anything but like #bad things keep getting worse and I just don’t get it. im just so in shock like I don’t think I have it in me to be shocked anymore #this is my life forever #🧎‍♀️ #actually im a liar when i said not because of anything #I mean it’s because of some things #specific things #that make me spiral #then those things make me think about existing things and I have no idea if im being reasonable or not but #it makes me doubt the legitimacy of literally everything else #I’ve had this level of anxiety for academics because it’s the only thing that truly ever mattered to me but not my social life becoming a #source of panic too 🧎‍♀️ #I say this soooo much and im sick of saying it but idk why im always ignored or it feels that way most of the time #bla bla bla #I make so many mistakes when I feel that way like what if something else happens and we turn that 3 into a 4 #🥳🥳🥳 #whenever I leave the house then I come home I have the most existential dread because I hate it here #I hate being on dumblr but as mitski said it best “you have so much to do and I have nothing ahead of me” #I’d just watch paint dry atp

[quietwingsinthesky]

i just loved that the writers were like mark of cain dean slowly becomes more and more barbaric and inhuman as he can’t control this primordial, gaping wound in the form of an already healed over scar that has been borne by the devil himself and is in fact what made him the devil and therefore will make dean long and lust after maiming and ultimately murdering people with an urge stronger than any love or passion or resolution he’s ever experienced in his life And Also He’s A Huge Misogynist

well. TO BE FAIR. you have just kind of described dean when he is normal also.

#this is dean winchester we are talking about. on the ‘we hate women’ show. #god I feel like I’m gonna get to the Mark in my rewatch and the hype will have built it up too much #the mark in my head is so cool you guys have no idea because I never talk about it but trust me it is #I think I like. barely scraped a mention of it in that one Lucifer/Raphael fic and another time in a 3 sentence fic #murder death kill drive is fine but I think the mark should fuck up ur thinking even more. hallucifer 2 this time with God’s evil sister #slowly trying to eat your soul from the inside. amplifying anger for anyone sure but playing to the worst parts of someone mostly #Dean is angry but why enhance his anger when you can enhance his paranoia. his abandonment issues. his need for control. and make those the #reasons for him to lash out and kill people. I mean the show never fucking settled on if the mark actually corrupted someone into something #that they aren’t or just revealed what was already there. I felt it wanted to have both. to say to Lucifer ‘you were always sick’ and to #Dean ‘well we can fix you’ but no fuck that let’s lean hard into the revealing what’s there already aspect #I think partially I’m also still just mad about the demon origins retcon but shhhh whatever whatever #anyway. sorry for rambling anon. you are very funny. I chuckled. #ask #spn #dean winchester

[intern-seraph]

.

#seraph speaks #k word use #everything going on rn is just. awful. my dash makes me sick to my stomach on a regular basis. #but i feel such immense shame at the very idea of blocking The Words even if it's for my own well-being #because then i'll be One Of The Bad Jews or whatever #honestly this site feels really really hostile again #it hasn't felt that way since i was sent graphic gore and death threats during one of the nazi raids years and years ago #and the worst part is that this unsafe feeling is coming from ppl who i generally quite like and even trust. #to make it even worse i KNOW ppl will deride and mock me for the very fact that i (a filthy fucking jew) feel terrified and unsafe rn #because ~i'm not the one being actively bombed right now~ #i've already seen it happening. #and i just. am so tired. #as if this is a fucking competition? obvs i'm not saying i have it worse than palestinians #but honestly if you have the time to mock jews for being afraid rn #bc antisemitism ALWAYS spikes when israel's in the news for crimes (bc gentiles think all of world jewry is responsible for those crimes) #it's already been bad. it's going to get worse. #and if you come into my asks or my replies or w/e about this and get combative #genuinely just call me a fucking kike so i can block you #i just assume that if you have the time to bitch at random jews for the gall to be afraid rn that you aren't someone currently in a warzone #i feel like they have more important things to worry about than harassing jews on tumblr dot com. #anyways sorry for the [gestures] this #im not going to say anything else. will likely block certain words eventually as well. i'm just so exhausted and upset. #it's been all i can think abt.

[orcelito]

Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating

I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.

Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.

#speculation nation #'what a pain' haha get it bc chronic pain #frankly speaking the chronic pain part of it isn't the Worst. it's only a few times a month that i get my arm and leg aches #(though sometimes ill have bouts that last longer. like in january i think when i had arm aches for over a Week) #then again my rib cartilage inflammation is a permanent thing. my ribs Always are fucked up. #and i dont know 100% that it's bc of fibro but this condition has been linked to fibro and it didnt go away with anti-inflammatories So #in the end the pain isnt my biggest concern for treating my fibro. aside from the frequent headaches. i Would like to counter those. #what i really need is help with my chronic fatigue and weakness spells #i hate how fragile i feel so much of the time. bc im NOT weak. for my size im actually surprisingly strong. #but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden #i will literally get symptoms of sickness if im too fatigued. including nausea and coughing and headaches #all fixed after ive gotten some rest. so im not Actually sick. #im tired and fed up with how finicky my body is and how i have to eat on time always or i'll be threatened with passing out. #havent passed out Yet but ive had some times where i end up Having to sit bc i get tunnel vision and my scalp is prickling #and it feels like my brain is squeezing and i know i Have to sit down Right Now #idk. there are many things like this. and i am sooooo tired of it. #i want a fibro diagnosis so i can actually get some help for the things that make life so hard to live. #im not depressed im just chronically fatigued. and so very tired. #give me some Energizing Meds or smth. help me please 😭😭😭 i hate living like this 😭😭😭😭😭 #i wanna be able to do things without being bedridden for the rest of the day 😭😭😭😭 please 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[lesbiangracehanson]

~~~~~

#rambles #kinda crazy how being stressed out all the time lowers ur immune system #and then u get sick #which lowers ur immune system more combined w being stressed about being sick #and then u get MORE sick #basically i’m having a terrible time atm #obviously there’s never really a good time to be sick #but i always get sick at the worst possible times + im so over it ❤️

[piplupod]

i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.

like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.

i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??

#i think this is partially why i dont allow myself any good art supplies #I got a set of charcoals several years ago and I've barely touched them bc im terrified of fucking them up #but if i get smth from the dollar store? that stuff is getting used immediately #bc its cheap and its not very good quality #im not afraid of using things up. im afraid of ruining them #im such a careful person too but i just. always end up fucking up some time #idk what is wrong w me #this sounds so melodramatic but god im tired #i still feel sick that my nice shirt from the 70s got a tiny hole burned into it bc of fire sparks that i didnt know were around #like i just. cannot have nice things idk. i have the absolute worst luck it seems like. or maybe i just am not careful enough #idk how to be any more careful though honestly fhfkdl #like i either keep things stored away safely sealed up or i am exceedingly careful in handling them #and do everything i can think of and find out to make sure nothing happens #and yet ! #i just feel like a massive idiot for this idk fhfmkl silly me to think i could be trusted w this instrument #there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex #but i either attempt a fix myself or never play it again bc getting a professional is too expensive #so ... i guess I'll have to take the dive and tinker w it if i want even a chance at playing again #im just terrified I'll break it even further #also i dont think i have access to everything I'll need for fixing it depending on whats gone wrong #so idk if it'll even be possible even if its doable like. i need Tools and leather and felt #i have spare leather scraps but no felt :| #and no special pliers fjfkdl #argh argh im so upset w myself for this #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[musical-chick-13]

.

#idk it's just really frustrating to think that people will ALWAYS make allowances for people they're romantically in love with but #not make those same allowances for someone else they otherwise care about. #that people will risk things for their partners that they wouldn't for their friends #that it's EXPECTED for you to prioritize your spouse/significant other/etc. at all times but prioritizing your friend(s) is rarely even #considered. and when you're like me and you LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT BY YOURSELF... #like I know I go on and on about marrying some theoretical woman all the time (and my ongoing...whatever this is. with Musician Guy) #but genuinely I'm not even sure that I want that I think I just want someone who will fucking visit me in the hospital if I get into a car #crash or fix me soup when I'm sick. #like...yeah. in that one story I wrote I think I distilled it down: we all just want someone to hold us when we're sad #and it SUCKS that the only avenue we seem to be allowed to pursue that is through a romantic relationship #right now I have my dad but if something happens to him...I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do. I'll have nowhere to go #if something terrible happens. I'll have no one to help me be a person. and I just. like I really am going to just have to power through #the next 60 years on this fucking planet alone and by god I'll fucking do it but I wish I didn't have to!!!! #and I think this was why the loss of Her™ friendship (which was necessary. for both of us) was so acutely painful. because even after #she got married she WAS willing to prioritize me when things got bad enough. she DID genuinely care about me in a way I don't think #anyone ever has. and I just really don't think I'll ever find that ever again. and I can't go back and I don't WANT to be with her anymore #but it was this time of the year when she told me she was getting married way back when and my brain has kept that like the World's Worst #Anniversary and all of those terrible ugly feelings are coming back in full force and I HATE that I'm still unpacking this I. HATE. that #this not-even-relationship is STILL doing this to me #WHAT THE FUCK!!! IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!! #*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today #and I do not want to put myself in a position to say anymore! #In the Vents #GOD this is so stupid IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEBODY DIED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

[lesbianslovebts]

My brother fell down the stairs and sprained his ankle today. My mom had to take him to the ER on Christmas. I had a horrible migraine this morning and then after my nap, I got a sore throat. So I could have a cold, the flu, or covid, who knows. 🙃

#although our health crises happen all throughout the year they tend to happen at the times we least want them #especially holidays and birthdays #gramma has almost died a couple times on her birthday 😩 #i get sick whenever i have time scheduled off work for something fun like a concert #also finals week when i was in college #one of the worst colds ever. broke my ankle. had my gallbladder taken out. had my nose cauterized... #like. i always end up needing time to recover from the time that's supposed to be rejuvenating. #but i have to go back to work and run myself into the ground again and again and again #and my cat has skin cancer on her chin and we have to put her down soon even though she's perfectly healthy otherwise #llbtspost

[keeps-ache]

i've realized recently that much of the expressiveness of my eyes was just me trying to see other people's expressions. so now when i make faces my eyes stay Wide Open loll

#just me hi #that's so interesting but now i'm concerned about how i'm coming across bfhbah #like when i smile and laugh my eyes are like ◎v◎ #//anyway if another person compliments my looks this year i'm going nuclear #stop. doign that fvshbfhs #i'm going to bury myself in the back and wait for the moss to take me. somebody save me sos sos sos #'anyway you ever see someone so stunning you kind of take a mental screenshot?' 'yea when i see you' 'you could at least blink when you lie #to me' leave me ALGEONE #and then it's always like the prettiest/handsomest people i know and they LOOK ME IN THE EYEEEEEEEEEEE and say 'oh no im not' i'm taking us #BOTH to the moss pit. take my hand mothertrucker. you're not getting away with this. you funkin. Idioit #absolutely disgusting behavior. you are lookin but you are Not thinkin <3 #//anyway aside from the utter nonsense >:3 #[leans towards the mic] i hav Prignles. Preyengles. thaz right. Prungles #[sits back] i am also sick again Hfvbshvs #idk i keep catching stuff man. maybe i was destined to be a collector but i didn't meet the quota and god is trying to catch me up idkkkk #i got sick SIX times last year!! is that ridiculous or What ? i think it's What. What Happened Man hfbshfsvh #and you know when you get sick sometimes and it's not the Physically worst thing you've ever gone through but it does something wrong to #your brain chemicals? yea.. yea #also- this is just my opinion (i'm right)- i don't think i need mucous membranes #just take them out man. i will Give Them Away. anybody want them? they're free :33 #i am giving away not Only my membranes but Also just my entire head!! i'm thinking of replacing it with one of those fake plastic fish-tank #yea the really cheap ones. very gender to me. also my head would be Great for a frankenstein project!! i can't say it has experience Doing #that but ay. everybody gets a start somewhere! :D #and if anybody wants some legs (they are short- fair warning) i am also giving those away too. i was thinking of replacing them with bed #springs :>> #//anyway i am going to try to focus on my thingy now #i wanna draw. i wanna write. and i'm Going to use a taser on my brain :3 #gl with your expeditions. no matter the matter !! :D