#also this movie is extremely quirky but also very sweet

[roanniom]

being bold and deciding to make the first move by kissing his rings before you push his hand up your skirt 🤭

Distracted

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

You're a friend of Robin's whose been in his world peripherally for a while. Like you've gone to the same parties and you've hung out at Family Video and seen him when he brought the teens in to see Steve after Hellfire sessions. You've only hung out in groups and your conversations, though extremely flirty, have been pretty surface level.

But you've got a thing for the quirky metalhead. Not only is he a fucking babe, but he also seems genuinely sweet and is very funny. When you bring this up to Robin, however, you aren't prepared for how she lights up, telling you that Eddie's been asking about you, too. Ever the matchmaker, Robin pushes you into a plot that makes it so that you and Eddie end up alone at his place on a Saturday night (initial group plans are bailed on last minute by all the teens who were threatened within an inch of their life not to actually show up).

Eddie seems unfazed by this turn of events and takes it in stride, cracking open a six pack for the two of you to share and throwing on a horror movie.

"If you want to bail, too, that's cool," he lets you know, even as you plop down beside him on the couch, beer in hand. He's got a self-deprecating smile on his face. "I'm sure hanging out alone with the town freak wasn't exactly on your agenda this week."

"Don't presume to know my agenda, Munson," you tsk, feigning a frown that is already curling around the edges into the smile you can't suppress. "You know how type A I am. I won't have you questioning my to-do list."

You apply the innuendo lightly, but the way his eyebrow quirks lets you know that it lands as you'd intended. Eddie runs his tongue over his teeth while appraising you.

"I wouldn't dare get in the way of your efficiency, sweetheart." There's a dare in his eyes, but you lean back against the couch and watch him over the top of your bottle as you take a sip. You've got time.

As the night goes on, the two of you drink and laugh and tease one another. One movie ends and he puts on the sequel immediately. Some slasher where kids are running around screaming in the woods. The two of you discuss what your own strategy would be if you found yourselves in a similar situation. At this point, you're feeling loose and floaty - combination of the alcohol and the sound of Eddie's laughter. It's got bubbles fizzing in your bloodstream. Your bodies have shifted closer on the couch as time has gone on, and as he emphatically describes something, his hand comes down to press onto your knee. Seemingly just as a matter of emphasis and to ground your attention in his point, but you notice that his hand doesn't lift up when he finishes his monologue.

A thrill of possessive pleasure runs through your body at the realization.

"You know, you'd probably die somewhere around the halfway point of the movie," you challenge suddenly and Eddie's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"I'm sorry, princess, but what?!"

"You know because you're all..." you gesture to his body. The denim vest he's still wearing over his band tee even though he's relaxing at home. The tattoos. The heavy rings on the hand that's still resting on your knee. His fingers flex against your skin when you point at them.

"I'm a badass, you mean? What about my badassery makes you think I'm dying at all?"

"The cool guys always die at the midpoint," you argue. "They get distracted having sex with the hot girls and that's when the killer guts them." Exactly as you say this, as if the universe is trying to bolster your argument, a young man on screen is stabbed through the back mid-thrust, falling down bloody upon his shrieking lover. You glance away from the screen and back at Eddie with a satisfied smirk. "Case in point."

"All I got from that is the fact you think I'm cool," Eddie says with a smug smirk. You roll your eyes at him but shift a bit closer.

"I also said you'd die fucking a bimbo."

"No, you said I'd die fucking a hot girl," he corrects, also shifting infinitesimally closer.

"Oh, so you were listening," you tease. Your hand rests on top of his hand on your knee and you start fiddling with his rings.

"Yeah, and I guess that means you should be concerned," he says flippantly, his fingers splaying out on your knee so that yours have more space to move between them. You're now distracted by the attention you're focusing on his hand.

"Why should I be concerned?"

"Because the hot girl getting fucked by the cool guy dies next," he says, nodding his head towards the tv you had all but forgotten about just as a young woman running topless through the woods, her breasts swinging and covered in her dead boyfriend's blood, is cut down by the killer. You both laugh.

"All I got from that is the fact you think I'm hot," you say turning back to him and mimicking his prior comment. His face lights up with a grin.

"Guilty as charged, sweetheart."

The moment feels right. The electricity between the two of you is palpable and you lift his hand up off your knee and towards your lips.

"They only get got, though, because they get distracted," you posit, pressing a kiss to each of Eddie's rings. His eyes are trained on your lips, his own parted to let his suddenly shallow breathing pass through. "Do you think you could keep from getting distracted?"

"Uh...yeah," Eddie says, running his tongue over his bottom lip. "Yeah I'm sure I could stay focused. Vigilant."

"Oh yeah?" you ask, smiling at how he's already so distracted. Suddenly you're lowering his hand and bringing it to the top of your thigh, right at the hem of your skirt. He takes a sharp inhale. "What's that? Losing focus?"

"No. Never, sweetheart," he says with a laugh, though it's shaky. Without even losing a beat his fingers flex in your hand, the pad of his thumb caressing at the skin of your thigh that he's never touched till now.

"What about now?" you ask, abruptly pushing his hand up your skirt to rest on your clothed pussy.

Before you can even process the next heartbeat, Eddie is on you. His mouth is capturing yours in a soul searing kiss and you can't help but gasp into him. Taking in his taste and scent all at the same heady time. Your hand abandons his on your mound and you bring your arms up around his neck to pull him as close to you as possible.

"If I die, I fucking die,” Eddie practically growls against your lips. “Distract me, baby.”

You laugh but he dips his head down to nips at your collar bone and it turns into a moan. Eddie’s hand starts rubbing blindly at your slit through your panties and you find your hips moving against his fingers of their own accord.

“Do horror movies turn you on?” Eddie teases. You bite your lip and shake your head, looking him dead in the eye.

“No, you turn me on, Eddie Munson.”

Suddenly you’re being pushed back down against the couch. The abruptness of his manhandling has you squealing and you lock your arms around his neck, being sure to keep him close and bringing him down with you.

His kiss arrests your lips again, his tongue invading your mouth. It’s everything you ever wanted. It’s what you’d imagined each time you’d watched him from the other side of a party or listened to him joking around with your mutual friends.

All of his attention. All of his focus on you.

What you don’t realize is that it’s always been on you. At those parties and those hang outs, as much as you’d watched him, he’d been watching you. Learned to love your smile and how quick you were to laugh. Catalogued your stories in the back of his mind as you told them to a riveted audience of all the teens.

He’s finally getting to touch you the way he’s always wanted. And it’s working him up faster than he’d like to admit.

You shift on the couch and it gives him more room to slot his body between your opened thighs. When his hard, denim-covered bulge presses against your thigh, your hips buck, pushing up into the palm which has been applying pressure to your pussy.

“Remember that agenda?” You ask with a tremor in your voice. His hand slips under the elastic of your panties, fingers making direct contacted with your slick core for the first time. You both groan.

“Um…yeah.” He says, shaking his head as if to clear it in order to comprehend your words. The tip of a finger circles your clit before sliding down to push into your hole. You gasp. “Your to-do list.”

“You’re at the top,” you gasp out.

There’s a moment where a Eddie doesn’t react. He’s so focused on pumping his finger in and out of your tight pussy, feeling you around him. Watching your chest rise and fall. But when your words make sense he throws back his head and let’s out a bellowing laugh. His laugh makes you laugh and then you’re shaking in one another’s arms. Trying to calm down. The shared vibrations of your joint hysteria seeming to wreak havoc on all of your nerve endings.

Eddie lunges forward and begins sucking at your neck and the tops of your breasts exposed by your low neckline. Just as he adds another finger to your pussy.

“I can be efficient, too, you know,” he says before worrying your skin between his lips.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you be efficient with your shirt off?” You ask, fingers scrabbling at the hem of the garment. Eddie sits up quickly and yanks the shirt off with unnecessary, theatrical aggression, tossing it away as if it’s offended him. You reach out and trace the tattoos on his chest and he moves to lower himself back over you.

“Mmm, cool guy,” you hum, your fingers passing delicately over his inked skin. Eddie quickly unbuttons your blouse and pulls it open, gazing hungry down at your bra-clad breasts.

“Hot girl,” he responds, pressing his face juvenilely between your tits. You grasp at the hair at the back of his neck and laugh until you feel him beginning to suck on you. Then your hips are rolling into his hand. The hand that’s started to fuck you in earnest. “You look like you’re more distracted than me right now, sweetheart. Maybe you’ll be dying before me after all. That petite mort, huh?”

You’re laughing and gasping all at once. His French accent is atrocious but he’s referencing a conversation you’d had with him and Robin about orgasms the week prior. You hadn’t thought he’d been paying attention since he’d been half in argument with Steve at the time, but now you know otherwise.

“You we’re listening to that? Was - fuck - pretty sure you were focused on whatever Harrington was saying.”

“I’m always focused on you, sweetheart.”

You feel heat creeping through your body as fondness mixes with arousal. You’re impatient and you both push and pull at him all at once.

“Ok I just need you to fuck me, ok? Can we jump to that?”

“Nuh uh, I’m making you cum first.” His thumb presses harder circles into your clit and you cry out. But you shake your head dramatically side to side.

“No I want you inside me now.”

“That’s a bit pushy of you, isn’t it?” Eddie teases, but as he does so he eases his fingers out of you and brings them up to lick off your slick. You’re already unbuckling his belt and pushing down his jeans.

“No, I’m efficient. Type A, remember?” His cock springs free of his boxers and you’re ready to drool. He’s practically edible, and if you weren’t so fucking on the edge right now you’d swallow him while immediately.

“How could I forget,” he responds, voice full of gravel as he grabs his cock and pumps one twice. You lay back against the couch, legs splayed and waiting for him, divesting yourself of your bra and cupping your breasts to keep yourself worked up. “Fuck you’re a pretty picture.”

“Gonna just stare or are you gonna do something, Munson?”

“See? Pushy,” he says, even as he lowers himself on top of you and pushes his tip right into your entrance.

The teasing stops as you both come together with rolling hips and gasping breaths. His thrusts are hard and definitive and you find yourself holding on for dear life. He feels so good and right and heavy and strong and you’re so close so soon.

“Eddie…Jesus Christ I’m…” your eyes are squeezed shut and he kisses your eye lids, paradoxically sweet when juxtaposed with the harsh way he’s pounding into you.

“You gonna cum, baby?” He asks, and there’s playful mocking in his tone. If you couldn’t feel his muscles shaking, proving he is equally close, you would have felt more shame.

“Y-yeah…gonna cum.” You admit it on a whine. He feels so good and then suddenly his finger is between you, swirling over your clit again.

“Already? I guess that’s efficient of you,” he says and you clench hard when you laugh, making him let out a loud moan.

“Stop - fuck! You can’t clench like that,” he admonishes.

“Stop making me laugh then, asshole,” you say with no bite. He, however, bites your neck and laves his tongue over the skin.

“Mmmm, you’re sexy when you’re mean.”

You’re not sure what does it - his thrusts, his finger on your clit, his teasing - but one moment you’re rolling your hips into his and the next you’re writhing beneath him, cumming harder than you ever have before. You practically black out calling his name, so much so that you don’t even notice when he cums along right after you.

You come back to your senses to find him still inside you, trailing kisses up and down your throat and chest. You take a deep shuddering breath and grip weakly at his back.

“You gotta get up,” you say, pushing weakly at him with not intent behind the motion. Eddie shakes his head and buries it into your neck.

“Never.”

“I gotta get up and cross you off my checklist.” You tease with a breathless laugh which he returns.

“You can’t. We were so distracted the killer got us. We’re dead, remember?” His grin is so wide one of your trembling hands lifts automatically to trace his dimples.

“Fuck. The downside to being cool and hot is pretty disproportionate to the upside.”

“Speak for yourself,” he snorts, letting his hand come up to cup your jaw. “I’m staring at a pretty big upside.”

~*~

Tiny tag list (will come back later and add more people): @sacklerscumrag @theoncrayjoy @millenialcatlady @xxcatrenxx @cowboy-kylo

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson Drabble #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #fem!reader

[9800sblog]

hi there! hope ure doing good today 💛

so this is like a fun game i send my favourite kpop tarot readers 😊

out of the groups u stan (preferably someone who u've done a "X as a boyfriend" reading for), who would u give a chance if ever they ask you out and why?

answer lightheartedly 💋

thank you and i loveeee ur blogs so much 🥰

I haven't done many of those readings tho!! I am too picky, so I'll do those I would set up with friends

I went a lot by how much I personally feel that these people are trustworthy based on my readings, there's no one else I remember that stood out like that to me. and I didn't choose only kpop because I actually don't know that many idols (adhd

in no particular order

lewis hamilton (formula 1)

if you like complete devotion and obsession, the type to have a secret crush on you for years and watch you from afar while secretely planning to sneak into your life. best friends to lovers vibes. he seems very soft when comfortable, and just wants to cuddle with his person watching movies and playing with his dog. message you everyday, tell you all the details he finds beautiful and still gives you advices or fashion tips that genuinely help and aren't just blatant criticism. seems very soft spoken with pink colored glasses. for those that want to be pampered and have princess treatment, that's your man.

park seonghwa (ateez)

honestly, all of ateez depending on what's your type

again, obsession. this guy would respect the shit out of your freedom and choices, he's the type to love no matter what, as long as you come home to him he's so so happy. seonghwa would love to be friends with your friends, part of your family, intertwined in every piece of your life, but the second you say "I need my space", he's out of your sight for as long as you need. seonghwa is a major extrovert, so he's the type of boyfriend to host friend dinners, house parties and take many many many quirky pictures. this is a more fun and dynamic guy in comparison to lewis, but they are both intensely devoted and decided tho. seonghwa would buy the ring on the first date.

wonyoung (ive)

she'd teach you self love by showing how much she loves you, accepts you unconditionally and trusts you blindly. incredibly sweet and caring person, she's so the type to give random little love messages throughout the week/day and spend hours making handmade gifts for her person. the type to give you one of her clothes and a sample of her perfume to feel like she's always around. I think she'd also transform when you're alone, be way more fun, childish and weird, probably dirty in a funny way that'd make you two feel close. she'd treat her person with so much delicacy and pure love, that even the toughest man wouldn't dare to not melt and accept that they're just a little flower in her well taken care garden.

taylor swift

is in love with love, in love with life, nothing can make her genuinely heartbroken, the type of love she has is so intense, it will be passed through lifetimes. she has such an extended knowledge of different types of people, relationships, arts, patterns of behavior, communications, etc. there is not a single person in this world she wouldn't be able to give genuine love to. but she's also extremely picky with those she actually opens up to, she makes everyone think they know her but only you would and it'd be your little secret. secrecy is something taylor (secretely) loves, her life is very very public so we feel like we know everything about her and her relationships, but there is so much deep inside her head that only someone really really reaaaaaaaaaaaally worthy would know! she is in love with connecting, and once she finds a genuinely good man, she will always always protect and take care of you, and make you feel like you're living in a dream or a movie scene. (connecting with her to write this was so much fun! she is so nice and was giving high-fives when she liked something kkkkkk

[philhoffman]

Slightly belated Monday Philm this week is State and Main (2000), which I always like to revisit at this time of year as fall starts and the High Holidays begin. Cozy quirky New England town + ambiguously Jewish PSH = the perfect Rosh Hashanah movie ("Gut yontif.")

If this movie was nothing more than Joseph Turner White walking forlornly around a small Vermont town, it would still be one of my favorites. In fact, it would probably be better because it wouldn't have Alec Baldwin and his plot line! But despite its flaws, it's still a very funny satire on the film industry. I think William H. Macy wins for most lines that make me laugh out loud: "So why don't you sue me in the World Court?" "Get outta here or we're gonna have you killed."

Joe White 🥰 Glasses that sit too high on the bridge of his nose and a little ducktail tuft of hair that sticks up over the back collar of his jacket and bandaids on his fingers. A fan favorite PSH performance for good reason!! This wasn't a part written specifically for Phil, but he's perfect for it—the right kind of bumbling sweetness and awkward insecurity and outstanding comedic timing. It's fun to see him play "normal" but also such a stylized character (how normal can a Mamet character can be, after all).

I love the scene in the hotel room when Joe is wearing that gray quarter-zip. He looks so huggable. His gestures—restless hands, every tic of his head, elastic expressions—are like exaggerated versions of Phil's own. Phil even said Mamet had to keep telling him to keep his mouth closed because he kept doing that absentminded open mouth thing lmao

ALSO my most extremely shocking discovery on this viewing was that Joseph Turner White smokes??? For about five seconds, when Ann returns to his hotel room to give him the fishing lure, he's in the background holding then stubbing out a smoking cigarette, next to a pack and a lighter? Had to rewind and watch that half a dozen times bc it surprised me so much!

#esp funny because phil himself quit smoking about a month after this film wrapped! #for a couple months at least #monday philm #state and main #philip seymour hoffman #psh #*

[xqueenybeebooks]

I Read Assistant to the Villain

Title: Assistant to the Villain Author: Hannah Nicole Maehrer Tags: fantasy, romance, grumpy-sunshine dynamic, office romance, mystery, humor Spice: None Cliffhanger: Yes CW: multiple forms of abuse, especially familial abuse and neglect, attempted rape backstory, attempted murder, prison isolation (let me know if I should add any) Read Below for Review (Spoiler-Lite)

Reading Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer tickled the part of my brain that watched Ella Enchanted as a kid and loved the visual world building of movie-Kyrria. It has a very fun fantasy-medieval world with modern conveniences like coffee and clocks. That said, the true stand out elements of the story, are the characters.

The titular Assistant, Evie Sage, is an overly optimistic and clumsy girl that ran into her most ideal job. She's an interminable busybody who keeps the office in tip-top shape to the point that it literally can't run properly without her after only a few months. She could very easily be really annoying, but honestly I think she resonates as very relatable, especially as you get further into the book and learn more about her parents and the situation they put her in. It's also really interesting to watch as her inner dark side becomes more and more apparent.

Her boss, the Villain of Rennedawn, is in my humble opinion, a lot more quirky and grumpy than he is actually scary. It's established quite quickly that the Villain is only truly heinous to those that deserve it, which is pretty common for this character archetype. A Villain with a heart-of-gold if you will. I really like him because he has a lot of little character details that make him feel more squishy, especially his love for sweet and milky coffee, get the boy a latte machine. His relationships with his family members, while brief, are quite enlightening and I'm curious to see how they will develop in the future. He has some things that he has done that I believe will come to bite him (or maybe not) in the next volume.

Evie and the Villain balance really well and have extremely fun banter and chemistry. I look forward to witnessing how their relationship will expand in future volumes.

Personally, I think this is quite a good book for a first time author with a unique idea. I think she had a really good grasp of the characters, which to anyone who has seen her TikTok videos shouldn't be surprising. However, I think the world-building could be fleshed out more as I would have liked to see and understand more of the anachronisms of this world and I hope she adds more in the next book. I am also looking forward to more time spent with the side-characters and how the relationship webs out even further (especially Blade and Becky). A lot of questions were raised and answered in this book, but just as many were left for the next installment.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has seen her skits and was interested in what stories these characters could get up to if properly developed. Also to anyone that was a nice and light fantasy book with light romance and a mystery.

#bookler #assistant to the villain #review #evie sage #the villain #2023

[scrunkore]

Scrunkore Media "Thread" 2023: Part 7 (FINALE)

the scrunko core is dragged into 2024

77) Barbie (Movie, 2023)

What a wildly meta take on the most famous plastic doll in the world, this movie is a pink-tinted ride from start to finish with a lot of words to say about the patriarchy and consumerism, and it does it in such a strange way that I honestly have mad respect for. It's easy to see why it popped off so hard, it was fun and had very explicit political theming, as well as that banger Ken song. Very quirky movie that I enjoyed. [4.5★]

78) Sonic Dream Team (iOS, 2023)

Maybe I would have enjoyed this more had I played it on a device that ran it a bit better, but still, this was a pretty nice surprise drop from Sega's mobile game developers. You wouldn't expect an Apple Arcade exclusive Sonic title to have levels as fun as these with characters that play fairly well, but here it is, and I'm here for it. Short but sweet, a nice experience that doesn't offer much but what it does have is pretty good. I will say, some characters do sound kind of bad, though. Maybe they need better directing on the next one. Also I like Ariem, do more with her please. [3.5★]

79) Bocchi the Rock! (Anime, 2022)

Every social anxious gay girlie's favourite pink blob really is that pathetic, but honestly the show is pretty real about it once you look past the delightfully expressive nonsense going on with her animations. Genuinely like how joining a band doesn't magically improve Bocchi and she's still a nervous weirdo like a lot of us are or have been, but instead she just makes slow progress with a support network around her. And it does help the show's case that it's just a fun watch with some really good music, drawing inspiration from the likes of Asian Kung-Fu Generation (the main case are named after them lol). I was a year late to Bocchi, but now I totally get it. [4.5★]

80) Pokémon Violet: The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero (Switch DLC, 2023)

Pokémon DLC seems to be their "thing" now, and I can't complain because this stuff is genuinely pretty good, though not as exceptional as the main game. Fun new and returning creatures in brand new environments from different parts of the world, being a new part of whatever the Japan stand-in is called as well as the ocean around Unova (which they really have been pandering to), along with a genuinely pretty solid character arc for the new boy Kieran and a nice supporting cast. I don't think this DLC as a whole is anything mindblowing, but it adds some substantial new content to what is one of my favourite games in the series in spite of everything it has going against it. There's an epilogue to this coming too, but that already "leaked" because they left it in the game. Oh, Game Freak. [4★]

81) I'm in Love with the Villainess (Anime, 2023)

Himejoshi of the world rejoiced, for the series they have been gassing up for ages finally made it into anime form, and it was really quite good. What is initially just a silly romantic comedy about a girl who is just extremely gay for the villainess of the game world she was reborn into ends up having some pretty genuine moments with discussions of homophobia and sad backstories that hit. What I hope to be able to call the "first season" covered a nice amount of content and ended on just the right note to get you wanting more, and overall it's just very gay and very good. Helps that the light novels' author seems like a real one too, she's interacted with fans in every language she's able to and I'll have to read her original work. [4.5★]

82) Doctor Who 2023 Specials (TV, 2023)

Doctor Who is back, and they brought back an old showrunner and even an old Doctor for a bit to pretty entertaining results, along with introducing the next Doctor in a divisive but interesting way. I will say, some odd decisions were made there, but I don't really mind too much, as the special episodes released within the last couple months of the year were really fun adventures. Concluding a story that's over a decade old, introducing genuinely good trans rep, finally going back to a classic-era villain just to kick his ass, it's great to see. I think Wild Blue Yonder was the best of these, being perfectly weird as good Doctor Who often is, but they were all nice. Christmas special showed promise for 2024's upcoming series too, May can't come soon enough. [4★]

82.1) Doctor Who: The Daleks Colour Special (TV, 2023)

A curious addition to the 60th anniversary of the series was a cut-down edit of the Daleks' original serial from the 1960s remade in colour with unnecessary inclusions of music and some odd choices of what to trim from it. I'm not sure it was very good, but it was nice of them to bring back a frankly ancient story in a new way. An interesting experiment, perhaps.

82.2) Doctor Who: Liberation of the Daleks (Comic, 2023)

Apparently they want you to read this if you want to know what happened to the previous Sonic Screwdriver, which is kind of funny because that's not actually that big a deal within this rather silly story. It's a short and weird comic plot featuring a virtual multiverse of different quirky Daleks, yet another excuse to have them in something because they weren't in the main specials. I kinda liked it, though, it was fun enough.

83/84) Scott Pilgrim (Comic, 2004-2010)/Vs The World (Movie, 2010)

Took me long enough to get into this series, and yeah it is actually pretty good. Shitty people bumbling into improvement is something that does require reading comprehension to enjoy (lol) but this is a good story where you're obviously supposed to know Scott and indeed several of the other characters have and do make a lot of mistakes. The movie does make this worse as well, kinda skimming over most of the comics' storyline, but it's well-directed so it's good enough if you want to watch it. Really has fun with it, and the series is in fact quite funny especially with how pathetic the lead character is. I do recommend reading the comics, it's a series with a fun vibe but also they say the R-slur a few times because it was the 2000s so watch out for that. Luckily other media in the series avoids doing that, because by the 2010s most people figured you shouldn't say that. [4★/3.5★] 85) Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (Anime, 2023)

I can't believe they actually made Rebuild of Scott Pilgrim and that's not really hyperbole, this new Netflix anime based on the series does a great job of both deconstructing and fleshing out the source material in some really nice ways. Characters previously treated largely as jokes in the movie especially (poor Roxie) get a lot more thought put into them and many of the cast end up happier. I don't want to spoil a lot, but this is some good stuff that comes at everything from a different angle without sacrificing too much of what made the original stuff stand out. Might be my favourite of these. [4.5★]

86) Neo Yokio (Anime, 2017)

This show is so fucking stupid, so naturally it's the last thing I watched in 2023. It's some vapid rich person hipster shit but I think it knows that, and a lot of the comedy comes from that, but I feel some of the funny stuff is unintended too. Frankly it's hard to tell what angle it's going for, and it does have one kinda transphobic Ranma 1/2 parody, so I'm not sure if I'd recommend it in good faith, but it was a good thing to just mindlessly watch and laugh at from time to time. I'll watch the Christmas special at some point. [NEO YOKIO★]

And thus, the media "thread" comes to an end. That sure was a year in my life where I consumed media, I can say that much. Maybe for 2024 I'll be better at keeping up with this thing, but no promises. Still, this was fun enough.

Last part

#scrunkore media 2023 #barbie #sth #bocchi the rock #pokemon #i'm in love with the villainess #doctor who #scott pilgrim #neo yokio

[tlbodine]

Two Lesser-Known 1970s Religious Horrors

Our random dice roll gave us "1970s religious horror" this week, which would have been an extremely simple request to fill...if we weren't trying to watch something new.

There are so many wonderful options for 1970s religious horrors, including:

The Omen

Carrie

The Exorcist

The Wickerman

Alice, Sweet Alice

Don't Torture a Duckling

But we did not watch any of those this week. We picked two movies more or less at random through a combination of Googling and narrowing down what we could find streaming. Which is how we landed at...

The Sentinel (1977) is directed by Michael Winner, based on a novel by Jeffrey Konvitz. The story is about a model whose new brownstone apartment is filled with a great deal of quirky denizens who are, um, not what they appear to be.

OK, I'll just go ahead and spoil it because this movie is very not-great: They're all dead. Everybody in the movie is in hell. The apartment is a hell mouth and now she has to become the new keeper of the gateway as punishment(?) for her suicide attempt (?)

When you type it out, this sounds like it will be cool. It is not. It is a plodding, boring mess that doesn't make much logical sense. It is, however, home to some delightful cameo appearances from baby versions of not-then-famous actors like Christopher Walken and Jeff Goldblum, which is a treat. But overall the experience of watching this film is like watching Rosemary's Baby, but incompetent.

We watched a movie a while back from China called Rigor Mortis that is very similar to this film except substantially better in every way imaginable. Go watch that one instead.

Beyond the Door (1974), directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis and Roberto Piazzoli, is an Italian-American co-production that has shlocky Italian horror fingerprints all over it. It's charming in a lot of ways, but not especially good.

The story: A man makes a pact with the devil to have his life spared if he can manage to successfully bring the Antichrist into the world. Slight complication is that the Antichrist is currently in the womb of his now-happily-married ex-girlfriend.

Interestingly, this movie got sued by The Exorcist for plagiarism, and they settled the suit, which I think is kind of surprising because while it definitely does rip off The Exorcist in places, it's also shamelessly ripping off Rosemary's Baby and The Omen and in a way that feels more like recycling tropes. Then again, the primacy of 1974 means probably these weren't tropes at that point. Still interesting to me.

This movie is...hm. It's very 1970s, and very Italian. It feels very well-worn. You have seen everything in this movie before, in better movies. But then there are some elements, like the devil's voice-over and the unintentional(?) homoeroticism that are intriguing. And then some, like the bizarrely edgy dialogue of the 10-year-old daughter, that are brow-raising. And then the ending is...uh. hm.

There's a different way to do this movie that would have been really interesting, but it's not this movie.

Both of these films were so dull that I had to go look up the titles again for this post because I immediately forgot them after watching.

#random horror #horror movies #rng horror movies #rng horror #I forgot my tag oops #beyond the door #the sentinel #1970s films #1970s horror

[demonsfate]

the tek fandom FEELS small... but i think it’s actually cited as the third best selling fighting game franchise...

even beating SF (albeit just by a little) but i think the issue is, despite the how the fanbase feels, all the tekken adaptations are... bad. like i can understand tekken fans loving them because they love the series (altho even myself as one - i can still see the adaptations are bad, i still didn’t enjoy the anime.) but people who aren’t tekken fans will not enjoy these and i will explain why as quickly as i can. and imo, adaptations shouldn’t just be made for the fans only, but to also reel in new, potential fans.

anyway why the adaptations fail imo:

bloodline: it’s an awfully paced anime - with them taking their sweet time with jin’s backstory for two episodes, making it feel like it’s dragging - then for the remaining 4 episodes, they don’t have much time to focus on the TOURNAMENT ITSELF, meaning the tournament feels extremely rushed and there’s fights and fighters that don’t even get to be seen on screen. also characterization weren’t completely faithful to the original which isn’t always a bad thing but in this case, it did make some characters feel more generic than their game counterparts. also a lot of things felt exposition-y, had a lot of telling when they could’ve been showing - thus many mysteries were given away right at the start, when it could’ve been fleshed out to keep the viewer’s attention. most non tekken fans will get bored with it after the first episode or two, and just move on to a better, more original action anime.

blood vengeance: has the same issue of pacing with bloodline, except even worse. like it drags on unbearably slow - just two cute anime girls doing... stuff, but not even in an interesting or quirky way as slice of life animes can do. it feels like the movie forgets it’s based off a fighting game as, throughout most of it, there’s barely any fighting except for the very end which features an over the top fighting sequence that just makes you roll your eyes by how ridiculous it is. and the problem is with the final fight is that - throughout the entire movie, you barely get to see jin, kazuya, and heihachi - therefore, when the movie suddenly focuses on them in final arc, and you do see them fight, you... don’t care because you didn’t get to know their characters and motives in the movie, therefore why should you care about these three fighting? who are you even supposed to root for, or care who wins? also shin, the OC character for it, was very confusing and felt very unnecessary.

the motion picture/OVA is one of the better adaptations imo, based on the first and technically second game, so barely any jin. but like, while it still had very bizarre dialogue, and plot points (literally jun tells kazuya that he can kill her if it means he doesn’t go to the bad side by killing his father even though killing jun means he takes a life and then gives into his anger/devil gene anyway??? like WUT???) but unlike bloodline, it’s just 40 mins - so you don’t have to waste too much time with it, it also does better explain backstories unlike bloodline claimed to do but never did (such as why kazuya and jun actually love each other - as they were childhood friends.) and unlike blood vengeance, it has a lot of mindless action - so at least it doesn’t bore you as much.

the 2010 movie has to be the most enjoyable - but not even as a tekken adaptation because as a tekken adaptation, it’s fucking awful. but in terms of movie, at least it does have a consistent plot, and the pacing is decent. i never recall it putting me to sleep like bloodline and blood vengeance did. and plus it had lots of action, too - which again, can keep your interest without feeling incredibly boring. but the thing is - it’s a bit,,, disconnected from the games, they basically had their own takes on the characters and story that fans of tekken are displeased by it. meanwhile, most non tekken fans would probably just rather watch another, better action movie over it. because while i said it’s a decent watch, there are certainly better action movies you can waste your time with. i thought the original first mortal kombat was better.

the problem is as you can see; despite the fact i think tekken can make for a very interesting story given it’s long history of lore, and how complex it can be. i also really enjoy the characters a lot, i think tekken has one of the best cast of characters for a fighting game. but for some reason, all the writers they get for adaptations are just... incompetent. they don’t know how to pace a story, they don’t know how to do characterization right, hell - they often don’t understand the characters they’re writing. or they make the fatal mistake of just assuming only fans are watching it - and thus gloss over actual important plot details, or know how to make these plot details actually interesting. if they could get an actual good writer for a tekken adaptation, i feel it could be a success.

#stovthearted #✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc) #// i've been wanting to do my own fan adaptations - like fan comics #// but i'm very lazy SDGNDFJGN #// this got longer than intended oh well #// but just my science of why i think these always fail

[motownfiction]

85, 97, 100, 56, 51 / charlie, elenore, sadie

for 😔charlie😔

51. why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip?

because he's charlie. lol, he would want to stop to pee way too often, he wouldn't be able to decide what he wants to eat, and he would only listen to jazz. and like, charlie doesn't exclusively listen to jazz during the day, but in the car? on a road trip with others? that's the time. that's time to listen to only jazz. also, he doesn't drive, so you're driving the full distance (this is what he and i have in common, except i do have the decency to have and maintain a license).

56. do they like to share?

lmao no of course not! he doesn't even know how! his mother never made him! the youngest child ... the favorite son ... we hate him.

85. do they have a sweet tooth?

not extremely, though we know he likes to drink coca-cola. oh, and he was a really big fan of the paradise pie at chili's. charlie is a chain restaurant boy.

97. what do they keep in their bag?

charlie's backpack has usually one novel in it, one philosophical text (because of carrie), tapes or CDs (depending on the year), and sheet music (which he actually can read).

100. if you, the creator, met them, would you two get along?

no, lmao, i hate him. i'd probably try to engage him in some kind of conversation at first, since he is smart, but he would very clearly reveal his true colors as an asshole. he would also probably be intimidated by me because charlie doesn't mix with women who are smarter and/or more powerful than he is. he is the worst person.

for ✨elenore✨

51. why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip?

elenore is mostly a good partner for a road trip, except for this one thing. somewhere in the middle of her musical picks, she chooses "copacabana." standard enough, especially for a certified quirky girl like elenore. but every now and then, at absolutely random intervals, she'll shout out, "there was blood and a single gun shot! / but just who shot who?" from the song. it scares the absolute shit out of everyone in the car, even though they know full well it's going to happen.

56. do they like to share?

i'd say so, yeah! this elenore isn't an only child, and even though she was already eleven by the time emma was born, she still likes to share lots of things: clothes, advice, music, movies. she doesn't share food, though. especially not french fries. french fries are not meant to be split.

85. do they have a sweet tooth?

yes, but not overly so. elenore loves things like cheesecake and cookies, but she can pass them up.

97. what do they keep in their bag?

chewing gum, definitely. a surprise bottle of coca-cola, depending on how big the bag is. whatever book she's reading. lipstick. probably nail polish, too. a pair of socks she took on an overnight trip somewhere once (she can't remember where) and can't remember to take out.

100. if you, the creator, met them, would you two get along?

oh, yes, absolutely. elenore is a lot like my mom, and i love my mom. we have similar sense of humor, and we both love art and talking about art. elenore feels things differently than i do (we don't have to get into that, as the narrative speaks for itself), but i think it would still be a good match.

for ✨sadie✨

51. why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip?

she will never stop asking you if you're hungry, thirsty, or have to use the bathroom. you can tell her a hundred times that you're absolutely fine, and she will not believe you. she's also the type to stop way too often so people can "stretch their legs." because of this, she typically adds an hour or so to the trip.

56. do they like to share?

sadie loves to share. it's the essence of who sadie is. she wants to share wisdom, love, friendship, romance, everything. unlike elenore, sadie will share food. in fact, she lives for it.

85. do they have a sweet tooth?

yes, but again, not overly. i think sadie's favorite dessert is a chocolate chip cookie, and she makes them every now and then ... but it's not something she actively craves.

97. what do they keep in their bag?

cough drops, tiny notebooks with grocery lists, lip balm, sunscreen (all year), some type of ibuprofen, one tampon that's been in there since 2007 (when rosemary turned twelve), her favorite CD at that particular moment, a picture of sam.

100. if you, the creator, met them, would you two get along?

i really hope so. that sadie and lucy are best friends is forever interesting to me because they're very similar while also being incredibly different. i know that's cliché, but i have a point. lucy is so rational and organized; sadie is emotionally organized. lucy is all about delegation; sadie is all about cooperation. they're both bossy, but lucy is professionally bossy where sadie is socially bossy. both women mean well, particularly sadie, but they're so extreme. all this to say that if i'm lucy, then that means i wish and hope for a friend like sadie. so i'd love to get along with a real-world version of her. she's the sweetest.

#asks #ch: charlie doyle #ch: elenore o'connor #ch: sadie doyle #ponyboyatreides #thank you

[lenabob]

Hey, not sure if you’re still doing requests but I’d love a shift if you are :)

I’m 5”3 with blue eyes and long blonde hair, I pay a lot of attention to my looks and enjoy making myself feel good through my hair, makeup& outfit. I feel if I was in WW2 I would’ve been a combat nurse, I love being involved in the action yet I feel super empathetic towards people and their situations.

sometimes this does effect me a little too much, but the majority of the time I’m an extremely happy person and like to be the one to make jokes and keep morale up. People view me as fairly sweet and just over all as a good girl, once they get to know me I can be more quirky and loud and can keep up with their banter. I love being at home, yet at the same time I absolutely love going out on dates and out with my friends, whether that be for drinks or shopping.

I’d say I’m a fairly quirky person, but people often just value me as a basic / bitchy girl because of the way I look which does upset me sometimes. Although I am very polite, if somebody messes with me or somebody I like I will stand my ground. (And maybe cry after). I can be a bit of a flirt, but most of the time im too shy lol.

I love to be involved with my friends and socialise with people on the daily. I loveee animals especially dogs and I am a super loyal person to be around.

OK…. I SHIP YOU WITH GEORGE LUZ

When you said you tend to make jokes most of the time, I just thought comedy duo

like you guys would be on fire once you guys start making jokes together

In easy company, you guys would be known as the King and Queen of Jokes

However, with being the jokester, you feel no one asks you if you are ok, but you will always have George

And vice versa

Though, sometimes I can see you guys bumping heads because both of you being stubborn

but once you start crying George will be the first to say sorry and will let you pick the movie for that night lol

OMG AND YOUR DATE NIGHTS

He is extroverted as well

So he wants to take you into town and show every guy how lucky he is

He also loves how you dress up so he really rubs it into every guy’s face that he won the jackpot of having a great and beautiful girlfriend.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR SHIP 💕💕💕

[zeldaspells]

📸 Miranda Otto as Glenda Lake

Danny Deckchair, 2003.

#miranda otto #glenda lake #danny deckchair #cant hear you over the pretty #gosh like shes so effortlessly beautiful??? #also this movie is extremely quirky but also very sweet

[absolutebl]

Hi...I want to start watching BL dramas, and I kinda confused where to start...I still read your blog to learn more about this genre....Before this I enjoy watching shounen-ai anime and read danmei novels....Can I ask for your drama recs (if you don't mind) that kinda like Sasaki to Miyano (one of my fav bl series)? It's slow burn, friend to lovers trope (and can be called wholesome BL romance?)... Sorry if I can't explain it better and also for the long ask.....Thanks for your blog.....Have a wonderful day....

Hi hi, WELCOME!!!

I have a couple master lists that might help:

BL Master Post (how the countries are different and what to watch and expect)

THAI BL MASTER POST

But if you love Sasaki to Miyano here are some quick suggestions. Now I’ve only read the manga, but I would call Sasaki to Miyano classic light yaoi, slow burn, low heat, angst but generally very light weight.

GENTLE & Soft BL (like Sasaki to Miyano)

Mostly you're gonna be looking for Korean BL, a select few from Japan, and some Thai stuff. The ones I’ve listed have little to no violence or triggers. Just oodles of adorable softness and comfort. 

1. Seven Days (Japan - DramaCool in 2 parts Seven Days: Monday - Thursday, Seven Days: Friday - Sunday) - regular readers of this blog will be unsurprised to see this top the list but it really is EXACTLY what you are looking for. It is one of the best live action yaoi ever made (if not THE best). Popular first year Seiryo has a policy of going out with any girl who asks… for one week. On a lark, third year Yuzuru tests to see if that policy also applies to boys. Seiryo agrees that it does. Along the way they accidentally fall in love. (Forgive it its hair for that is a mark of its time.) 

2. Cherry Magic (Japan - indie subbed) AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii - the sweetest, fluffiest, most charming bit of office-set adorable ever, full of found family and slapstick, the characters are utter spazzes, but so cute about it. All angst is self confidence based, nothing really distressing ever happens. 

3. Light On Me (Korea - Viki) - Korea does a pitch perfect classic high school set BL with all tropes cleverly deployed to bolster one of the most riveting love triangles ever put on screen… and I don’t like love triangles! Shin Woo is probubly the softest, gentlest, sweetest seme in the whole universe. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. 

4. Wish You (Korea - Netflix or Viki, you want the movie version) AKA WISH YOU: Your Melody in My Heart - low stakes high pining romance about a pianist who falls in love with a busker who is on his way to being the next big idol. It’s about singing but this drama is very quiet. Hugely underrated. 

5. To My Star (Korea - Viki) - is a touch quirky, but utterly appealing once it hits its stride. It’s the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. Famous actor (adorable bundle of neurosis) takes refuge in the house of a reserved chef and is immediately smitten by Mr Tall Dark & Glowering. The chef is also smitten but refuses to admit it to himself or anyone else. 

6. The Tasty Florida (Korea - Viki) - not really a love triangle featuring the prettiest men ever to be grouped together outside of K-pop, honestly the visuals are ridiculous, there’s a story, it has to do with food, whatever, they so pretty 

7. Oxygen (Thailand - YouTube) - softest seme in the universe sings his affection to the older boy at the cafe. Let the slow burn courting commence. There is a tiny bit of angst at the end, and one storyline is naff (the doctors) but this is high production Thai softness so I forgive it.

8. Ingredients (Thailand - YouTube) - if all you want is two soft boys being domestic, cooking together, cuddling on the couch, cat sitting, and babysitting - just put this on and be comfy. 

9. He’s Coming to Me (Thailand - YouTube) - want your soft sweetness with a dose of paranormal and a little mystery but none of the violence or extreme triggers of Manner of Death or Until We Meet Again? Then this is for you. 

10. You Are Ma Boy (Vietnam - YouTube) - is there angst? Nope even what could have been angst (a gay idol) doesn’t materialize, it’s just cuties in a cafe confusing each other with cat & mouse games. The side het couple is a touch disturbing, tho.

More If You’ve Already seen those: 

Kieta Hatsukoi AKA Vanishing My First Love AKA My Love Mix Up (Japan - Viki) 

Mr. Heart (Korea Viki) 

Behind Cut (Korea - Viki) 

My Sweet Dear (Korea - Viki) 

Tinted With You (Korean historical time travel - Viki) 

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korean historical fairytale - hard to find) 

Nitiman (Thai YouTube) 

En of Love: Tossera (Thai YouTube) 

Gameboys (The Philippines - Netflix) 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan Viki & GaGa) 

What to avoid?

Taiwanese BL - as of 2022 I can think of only a few that you might find palatable but they still go higher heat than your original criteria: Be Loved in House: I Do, See You After Quarantine? and HIStory 2. All are on Viki. 

Chinese BLs & Bromances 

Most of Japan's back catalog and the early live action yaoi 

Most everything I’ve seen out of the Philippines with a few noted exceptions

Coming in 2022-23

I can tell you that manga Our Dining Table is slated to be adapted and I am OVER the moon about it. It will definitely scratch this itch. 

Up coming 2022 KBL Semantic Error might fill this bailiwick too. (see comments)

(source)

#asked and answered #korean bl #japanese bl #thai bl movie #soft b #gentel bl #gentle gay #Seven Days #chreey magic #Light On Me #wish you your melody in my heart #oxygen the series #To My Star #The Tasty Florida #ingredients the series #He's Coming To Me #You Are Ma Boy

[thechangeling]

Ok first of all this is based on my own personal feelings and preferences. Not every autistic person is going to agree with this list. If you are autistic and you have things you wanna add on then feel free just don't try and start fights with me I will block you.

Things to avoid:

-No more super smart genius type autistics. We already have enough. No more.

- Hot take maybe, but no more white boys. We already have enough.

-  Don't make them a horrible asshole with no feelings or no respect for other people's feelings.

- Don't make them overly self absorbed or extremely selfish or narcissistic.

- That being said, don't make them a perfect saint either who is always kind to everyone. We can be occassionally cruel or selfish. We do make mistakes and hurt people. The trick is making sure that it's a balence.

- If this sounds complicated and contradictory... well yeah. The human condition is complicated and we are people. (Shocking I know/s)

- Don't characterize them like a child if they're an adult or a teenager. Don't infantalize them.

- If you make them have low empathy, don't equate low empathy to no feelings and no compassion.

- No more science or math special interests. Too many!!! Or trains!!

- Don't have their personal character development or big moments happen in someone else's pov. Or if they do, you HAVE to write about how they feel about it at some point.

- Don't make them have a perfect memory I'm sick of that shit.

- Don't make them absolutely perfect at their special interest or know absolutely everything about it. We make mistakes sometimes.

- Don't describe them as special or gifted or blessed.

- If other characters say ableist shit about them, make sure the narrative clearly shows that it's wrong.

- Do not make the autistic character forgive someone for being ableist and immediately become friends with them.

- Do not use person first language, functioning labels, or the term aspergers.

- Do not give them a bad fashion sense. My flawlessly dressed autistic self is sick of this.

- Don't have them not understand any figures of speech or metaphors. This is overdone. Some autistic people are fine with most figures of speech once we know what it means and will even use them.

- DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT CONSULT AUTISM SPEAKS!

- Do not take advice from parents with autistic children.

- Don't have them using super fancy language. Sure some autistic people talk like that but not many in my experience.

Things to do:

- This one is crucial. In all my 21 years on this earth I have NEVER encountered a canon autistic character that was allowed to hold a grudge for a significant amount of time. LET US HOLD GRUDGES 2021!!!!

- Let us be angry! Especially if you are writing a female character!! And do not demonize her for her anger.

- Let us do adult things if you are writing an adult character. Or teenage things if you are writing a teenage character. This involves swearing, drinking, dressing proactively, driving or engaging in sexual relationships and having sexual feelings. Not every adult needs to do these things to be an adult of course, but we are usually gate kept from doing these things because we are infantalized.

- Ace and Aro autistics absolutely do exist! However autistic people are usually stereotyped as not having "those kinds of feelings" so if you really want to make them aro or ace or both, really examine why.

- If you do make them ace please don't make them a "sweet innocent baby who doesn't even know what sex is"

-Just please don't fall into bad stereotypes for ace and aro characters.

- Give them diverse special interests like random movies or tv shows. We tend to like scifi and fantasy a lot. But that's not a given.

- Make them artsy or give them an interest in music. Maybe make them a singer or have them play in a band?

- Do make them a fan of rock or alternative or indie music!!! I never see that! Or even heavy metal!

- Preferably make them queer/LGBTQ we tend to not be straight especially if you're afab.

- Most of us are nonbinary, I would suggest making your autistic character nonbinary but you don't have to.

- Have them be more sensory seeking then sensory avoidant

- Have them be a motion stimmer or an auditory stimmer (have them stim by blasting music or dancing or jumping up and down, spinning around in circles, spinning on a rolling chair etc.)

- Give them an interest in fashion or makeup (not neccesarily a special interest.)

- Let them have other interests besides a special interest. We have other things we like, they just aren't as importent to us.

- Have them be stubborn but understand why and make sure the readers/audience understands.

- WRITE THEIR POV!!!!

- Write them having shutdowns instead of meltdowns.

- Don't have them constantly compromising on shit or compromising easily.

- Write them having a completed relationship with morality and "goodness."

- If they aren't aro, write them feeling very intense romantic love that consumes and overwhelmed them.

- Have them feeling very intense emotions in general.

- Have them showing love in autistic ways, ie bringing people gifts and quoting shit, parallel play etc.)

-If they are not ace or ace but not sex repulsed, if they are an adult, and you are comfortable writing it have them be hypersexual and also preferably kinky. This is actually really common in my experience.

- Have them show frustration at having to live in a neurotypical, ableist world that wasn't made for them.

- Have them struggle with communicating their feelings and finding the right words to describe their feelings.

- Have them use quotes to describe their feelings or song lyrics.

- Let them be entitled to their space and their freedom.

- Give them trust issues. Look I don't want to be defined by trauma any more then the next autistic person, but it's kind of where we're at you know?

- Have them be a little paranoid about whether or not people actually like them.

- Let them have stuffies and stim toys and chewies. They don't have to be store bought they can be home made.

- Have them be hyper-empathetic. I've never seen an autistic hyper-empathetic character before.

- Have them be good with cats.

- Have them be a good dancer/enjoy dancing.

- Have them do facial stims like scrunching up their face or twitching their nose.

- Have them lose speech during a meltdown or a shutdown and have to write things down or use a communication device for awhile.

- Have them be a bad student or struggle with school.

- Have them hate math please I will love you forever!!!!

- Have them engage in echolalia (when you hear something that sticks out to you and you repeat it back over and over again)

- Make them sarcastic! Lots of autistic people are actually really sarcastic.

- Have them struggle with executive dysfunction.

- Show them showing signs of autistic happiness!! Like happy stimming. When I get really excited I tend to shreak and jump up and down or I flap my hands or bang them against a nearby table.

- Allow them to fuck up.

- In terms of grief, have them have very emotionally delayed reactions to grief. I reccomend research autistic peoples experiences with loss specifically if you are going to make this part of the story.

- Have them experience a lot of emotional delays where things don't hit them right away.

- Have them disassociate in traumatic situations.

- Make sure in general you understand their motivations as you're writing them. Don't just have them do things because "weird quirky autistic character!"

- Give them autistic friends and let them interact with the community!

I know I'm probably forgetting stuff, but this is all I can think if for now. If you have any questions about anything or any of the points I made let me know.

#actuallyautistic #autistic representation #autistic writing references #cw sex mention #cw kink mention

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Writing Romance: Opposites Attract

One of the most widespread among romantic tropes is opposites attract, and with good reason. When a couple are opposites, they’re meant to be one of a few things to each other: 1. An inverse reflection of each other. 2. Compliment each other 3. Cover each other’s shortcomings

In a sense, a good Opposites Attract serves to turn two incomplete people into one solid force. If they’re a battle couple, they’ll tend to fight very well together, often balancing force and finesse, melee and ranged, or physical and magical abilities. If the show or book has a lot of time dedicated to foils and character moments, they are more likely to be the ones that each other lean on, since their opposing characters makes them interesting to react off one another. Their roles, story arcs, and backstories tend to run opposite or parallel to one another depending on the series. If one character’s arc is to mature and become more responsible, likely their partner’s arc might be to learn to loosen up and have fun, learn to trust people, or to face a trauma in their past that made them so mature at a young age.

In terms of design, opposites attract partners tend to be inverse in color schemes. Light and dark hair or eyes, warm and cool color schemes, clashing or complimentary fashion styles, etc. The degree in opposition also varies. Some opposites attract look very similar with only a slight difference, indicating that something small is what set them on different paths in life but are otherwise very similar, almost as two sides of the same coin. Other couples are stark contrasts with virtually nothing in common to really emphasize their differences so that they can better make each other whole, as shown very literally through the character of Garnet in Steven Universe. 

Femme and Butch

While typically, you’re mostly going to see this in femmeslash/yuri pairings, this dynamic is actually fairly universal. This divide focuses on a pairing where each couple reflects the values of masculinity and femininity. Although mostly used as lesbian terms, a femme and butch pairing can also be gay or heterosexual. A fashion-loving twink who cries during romantic movies dating a jock who likes sports and drinks beer is still an example of Femme and Butch. Heterosexual is rather obvious, but can also be inversed, with a tough, assertive woman partnered with a sweet, sensitive man, such as Calhoun and Felix in Wreck-It Ralph. A Femme and Butch pairing doesn’t need to check off every box on this list of traits, but these traits tend to be common in these types of relationships.

Brains and Brawn

Also known as Jock and Nerd, this romantic dynamic prioritizes the usefulness of both intelligence and brute strength. Another variation is Book Smarts vs Street Smarts. The Brains will be good at doing research, organizing, and will tend to fight more strategically while the Brawn is primarily going to be good at fighting and likely protecting the Brains from serious harm. Princess and Bodyguard is another possible example of this dynamic, albeit a little less directly.

Hot and Cold

Hot or Warm characters tend to be friendly, outgoing, upbeat, loudmouthed, temperamental, boisterous, and battle-ready. Cold or Cool personalities tend to be shy, calm, quiet, logical, reserved, serious, and emotionally withdrawn. However, while these extreme opposites of hot-head and cold-shoulder balance each other out, it’s worth discussing same heat relationships. Kiribaku is an example of a Hot/Warm relationship, as Bakugou Katsuki is an angry little spitfire with an aggressive streak, while Kirishima Eijirou is a happy-go-lucky sweetheart with a good attitude. This is sort of the same concept, just that both boys are on the warm side of the spectrum, with Kirishima being the cooler counter to Bakugou’s temperamental hot-head. This also works inversely, as the ship Tododeku is a Cold/Cool relationship. Midoriya is a shy, but upbeat young man who tends not to draw too much attention to himself, while Todoroki is stoic, logical, and a bit dense socially. In this case, Midoriya is Cool while Todoriki is Cold, with Midoriya serving as the “Hot” aspect of their relationship as the more friendly and outgoing of the two.  

Light and Shadow

This archetype is often used as a “opposite sides of the same coin” format, where the characters serve as foils to one another. In Teen Titans, Raven’s powers are dark and demonic, while Starfire’s are bright and extraterrestrial. Both girls get their powers from their emotions, but where Starfire revels in her emotions to make her powerful, Raven must suppress her emotions to retain control of her powers. As the only two girls, they stick out as the obvious foils of the group. Many times, when this trope appears, it’s in the form of Classic Paragon Hero vs Cynical Anti-Hero. Superman and Batman are a great example. Superman is a boyscout token good guy, while Batman is a brooding loner. One is the hope for justice and goodness to always triumph while the other acknowledges that people are flawed, and maybe not everyone deserves to be saved. Naruto is interesting because he has two dark reflections. The first is Sasuke. While Naruto is the golden-haired idealist who befriends villains almost as often as Steven Universe, Sasuke is a dark counter consumed by a thirst for vengeance and the power to exact it. Naruto’s other dark counter however is Gaara. Both are Jinchuriki, but whereas Naruto eventually found friends and love in his fellow genin, Gaara was very much still alone when he met Naruto, reflecting what Naruto could have become without that love and support in this life.

Protagonist and Rival

Another case of “two sides of the same coin”, most anime protagonists and their rival tend to either have very similar backstories, very similar motivations, or very similar personalities, if not some combination of the three. Both Naruto and Sasuke were abandoned in the world at a young age with the Hokage looking out for them from afar. Naruto started off having nobody, and was always reaching out hoping to connect with anyone. Meanwhile, Sasuke started with a family and lost it, and decided to keep everyone at arm’s length and isolate himself further. Rin Okumura and Ryuji Suguro are practically the same person. Both lost their families and homes due to Satan, both are strong-willed loudmouthed tough guys with a knack for leadership, and both share the goal of killing Satan. Natsu Dragneel is immature and battle-ready, but while Grey Fullbuster at least pretends to be above it, he’ll jump into a fight with Natsu practically unprompted. The main appeal of the anime protagonist and his rival is that they push each other to succeed, often coming from very similar roots, but where they end up is entirely up to the effort they put in and the path they choose to take. They both refuse to lose to each other, and that propells them to constantly want to out-do each other.

Sweet and Sour

My best friend and I are polar opposites in this sense. When we met, she was far too trusting, submissive, and far too forgiving. Meanwhile, I was a lot more cynical, mean-spirited, and unfortunately, a little more closed-minded than I’d like to admit. After five years of friendship, my friend is far more assertive, has a lot more confidence in herself, is a lot better at handling criticism, and rather than just submitting in an argument, she now has the nerve to get in someone’s face and make her point heard. Because of her, I’ve become less stand-offish, more patient and polite, less of a control freak, more aware of valuing other people’s emotions, and more tolerant of a group I hadn’t realized I’d been intolerant toward. We saw the world in such distinctly different ways that we have managed to rub off on each other, and now we’re both such stronger and more complete people for having known each other.

Serious and Goofball

A classic comedy duo, the comedian and the straight man. The Goofball character tends to be immature, a knucklehead, a jokester, and comes off as a bit inexperienced. Meanwhile, the Serious character tends to be mature, responsible, disciplined, but comes off as a bit aloof. The Goofball reminds the Serious character to have a little fun every once in a while, while the Serious character reins in the Goofball before they hurt themselves or somebody else.

Hero and Sidekick

The hero has their act together and the sidekick is just doing their best. This happens a lot in Action movies where the handsome tough guy and the hapless damsel (who he kidnaps a little too often for my liking) is just kind of along for the ride. The two live in entirely different worlds. Sometimes this comes in the variant of Starlet and Manager where one in the relationship takes center stage while the other is content to help them run their life, promote their career, and help them. Another variation is Superstar and Random Extra, wherein one person leads a very visible life in the public eye being adored by millions of fans while their partner works 9-5 in an office dealing with insurance claims. Although they coe from very different worlds and lead very different lives, that doesn’t mean they still haven’t found love in an unlikely place. Often, the reason the hero or big shot loves this random nobody is because they fell in love with them before they ever became famous, or they didn’t know/care who the celebrity was and just liked them as a person without interest in using their celebrity to climb the social ladder.

Loud and Quiet

She’s quirky, outgoing, bubbly, energetic, and talkative. Too talkative. She never shuts up. He’s quiet, simple, down-to-earth, and calm. Too Calm. He never gets excited. This pairing works to push and pull each other until they’ve harmonized. The Quiet one will be pulled out of their shell and learn to be more open and talkative, while the Loud one will learn to think before they act. This couple is divided along lines of Introversion and Extroversion, and together can navigate the anxiety-triggering unease of a social gathering, and finding joy and pleasure in just enjoying each other’s company without needing to fill the silence with pointless chatter.

To be fair, many Opposites Attract couples will fit into more than one of these archetypes, and there’s probably more I didn’t list. But if you’re wanting to create a couple that balances each other out, I hope you find this helpful to you in your writing.

#writing #writeblr #shipping #ships #writing relationships #writing romance #love story #shippers #shipper #ship #how to write #how to write a ship #opposites attract #red and blue #writing couples #couples #couple dynaics #ship dynamics #relationship dynamics #love is love

[kaleidoscopek9]

ALRIGHT-

SO

I've had this list of headcannons just sitting in my notes app of my phone and I wanna put it somewhere so 👀

(These are heavily inspired by what I could gather from the skele boys in @bonelyheartsclub! I just threw in a few of my own.)

-----------*

Sans

- Does a LOT of stargazing and has quite a few space-themed knicknacks and clothes in his room. He's got a telescope too!

- Dad jokes. Any time is prime dad joke time. He's never let an opportunity slip past him.

- He's an absolute prank master. You're considered lucky if you happen to avoid the ones he's planted around the house like bombs waiting to go off.

- He's cryptic as fuck. Always giving half-true answers to every question. Occasionally he may slip up and give you a brutally honest response, but that's only with the people he trusts most, and he finds being open to be very difficult.

- He's constantly referencing memes and vine quotes from days of yore. He practically has a database of every meme ever in his head, and he doesnt let it go to waste.

- Cuddling with him is basically a one way ticket to nap-town, and you constantly find yourself waking up to him smooshed against you on the couch after dozing off. For being a skeleton, he is a surprisingly comfortable snuggler.

-----------*

Papyrus

-So much baking and cooking. It's his favorite past time, and the kitchen never smells the same when he's done making whatever he's making in there (it's 12 times out of 10 pasta) And while his cooking may be sub-par, you never say no when he asks you to try his latest dish.

- He's always up to go shopping with you. It never matters where. Malls are his favorite, especially the big grand ones with fountains and huge windows. He makes it a point to bring spare cash because you KNOW he's going to ride the mini marry-go-round even if he can barely fit in the seats.

- You two love to binge watch cooking channels. Always discussing which foods would be the most fun to make, writing down recipies, and having a hell of a time trying to pause the show at the right points to get all the information down.

- Papyrus is notorious for game nights. He's always pulling out boards and cards that you've never heard of before and never starts a game until he's absolutely certain you know the rules. Winning of course, is always his prime goal when it comes to games, but if he senses you're on a particularly rough losing streak, he MAY slip up. Occasionally. Just enough so you can win a game or two. Or five.

-----------*

Blue

- Hyper as all hell. You give him a reasonable dose of sugar or caffeine and he could power an entire city for a few hours without breaking a sweat.

- If he had been in high school, Blue would have been a theater kid. He's always humming a tune from a Broadway show or Disney movie, and he's got a pretty good collection of songs on his brother's Spotify playlist.

- This guy will blast Steven Universe music at full volume he has no shame.

- If you are ever driving somewhere with him, an aux cord is a MUST. Singing in the car is a very frequent thing with you two, and you'll only get out after the song is over.

- He likes cryptids! Mothman is his favorite and he firmly believes he exists somewhere.

- He's your workout buddy. If he manages to drag you to the gym with him, that is.

- Blue hates seeing you down in the dumps, and is always trying to cheer you up with his quirky puns and jokes to get you smiling again.

- He'd be the best motivational poster ever. Whenever he picks up that you're going through a rough spot and falling behind on self-care, he knows just what to say to put the spark back in you again.

-----------*

Stretch

- Radiates goblin energy.

- A goddamn meme lord.

- He's made two or three widely known viral videos and nobody knows it was him.

- You need someone to go to an anime convention with? Stretch is your guy. He's god awful at planning stuff out, but he'll make sure you both have a good time, no matter what happens.

- He's really big into nerd culture, and he DMs for a dungeons and dragons game every week.

- He'll occasionally smoke, but he doesnt have lungs, so he does it more for shits and giggles than anything else.

- As lazy as he seems, he is very reliable. If he knows it's something important to you, he'll get it done. Chores though, he's a lot more iffy with.

- He really likes bees.

-----------*

Red

- Talks big talk, but he's actually a huge softie.

- He's basically a big pillow with sharp teeth that can curse.

- A nervous wreck.

- His brother shops at Hot Topic. He shops at Spencer's. Very convenient.

- He's a pretty big flirt and throws out little compliments and things to butter you up from time to time.

- If you take Red into a Dave and Busters he will win the most expensive prize at the booth in about 2 hours. (He knows how to cheat at every single game)

- He's a competitive gamer, and has a pretty impressive following on Twitch.

- He can go from loud and brash to quiet and insecure in a matter of moments, depending on the situation.

- He loves to bake, although it's something he will never be caught dead doing.

- Comfort is not his strong suit, but he will defend you without a second thought.

- He can be a little clingy and will text you now and again to ask what you're up to, just to ease his mind.

-----------*

Boss

- Professionalism is his game.

- The walking embodiment of Hot Topic.

- He loves to listen to rock and screamo music. He's also got a thing for Disney villain songs.

- You need some punk biker or vampiric goth fashion advice? Boss got ya.

- Skellator Man.

- Out of all the skeletons, Boss has the biggest ego.

- He hates admitting he's wrong. He would rather DIE than admit he's fucked up something.

- "I am not nice-"

- He could kill a man with his high heels.

- If it's got spikes he'll probably wear it.

- Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsu

- Did I mention he's a cold blooded tsundere.

-----------*

Nox

- Small angery man.

- He listens to a lot of classic and instrumental music. He finds it very sophisticated.

- Wakes up obscenely early in the morning. Always followed by a cup of the most bitter coffee on the planet.

- Comes up with the best insults. He could roast someone so hard that they'd dissolve into a pile of soot. He could glare at you and you'd cease to exist. He's that good.

- WILL step on you without remorse.

- Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis.

- Very rarely has spare time for himself. He's always keeping busy doing something.

- Loves dark, dry humor. A child falling off a swing will have him laughing for a good five minutes.

- Has a stone cold poker face.

- He might have a softer side to him. You may never know because of the walls he's built up around him.

-----------*

Rus

- He absolutely adores animals. He volunteers at the local animal shelter and plans on adopting every single dog there.

- Rus has a massive sweet tooth. Donuts are his favorite, and you can easily bribe him with anything sugar coated.

- A road trip master. You put him in a camper and he knows exactly where he's going and what he's doing.

- "Going off grid, fuck yeah- I pull out my credit cards and shred 'em."

- Hiking, camping and geocaching are some of his favorite things to do. He loves to explore the wilderness and it's like he has a built-in compass for finding his way.

- His ideal date is going to a Wal-Mart and causing absolute chaos by riding bikes around and tossing all of the inflatable balls from their displays.

- Cryptidcore energy.

- Rus loves watching Buzzfeed Unsolved and ghost huntings. He's a big fan of Supernatural and Stranger Things, too.

- Stutters and slurs his words a lot. He's got some speech impediments from the gold canines in his mouth.

- A bit lacking when it comes to social skills, but he can be extremely caring and sweet.

-----------*

Ash

- Very soft-spoken and awkward. He doesn't get much social interaction and is still figuring some things out.

- He's very self-aware of the wound in his head. Whenever he has to leave the house he wears some sort of hat to cover it up.

- Practically lives in his garden. He understands plants more than he does human beings, and he spends time daily tending to whatever he's growing.

- Him and his brother are both vegetarians, and the smell or sight of meat makes them both feel sick to themselves.

- Has trouble sleeping due to his reoccurring nightmares. He will often sit in his garden late at night to help calm himself.

- Radiates soft energy. He would absolutely give the best hugs out of all the skeletons.

- Very touch-starved. Physical affection is something he rarely recieves, and he probably lingers with touches a lot longer than he should.

- Unintentionally makes God-teir jokes without realizing it.

----------*

Poplar

- Very well-educated in a lot of things. He really likes stocking up on useless factoids and making up his own just to mess with people.

- He answers Jeopardy questions with concerning accuracy.

- He enjoys going out to eat, and he's always up to try fancy foods.

- He likes photography and reading. He is well into the Harry Potter series.

- Poplar is prepared for anything at any time. A lot of stuff doesnt phase him at all, and it's difficult to catch him off-guard.

- He's willing to try anything new, once.

- Always willing to help out with schoolwork if he thinks you're seriously struggling with it.

- He's always carrying around small planners and notebooks to write in so he can keep track of things.

#long post #headcannons #hc #bhc #bhc headcannons #bonely hearts club #like i said #most of these are from the game #i just have a very specific image of these guys in my head and i wanted to put it down somewhere

[pepsicup]

Chaotic Commentary: We Have Always Lived In The Castle

Welcome to my thought process when I watch movies! 

The arrival of a cousin with ulterior motives threatens the claustrophobic and isolated world of two sisters and their uncle. (Oooof, bitch. I already know Sebastian is gonna look damn fine in this movie.)

Watched: April 22nd, 2021

Opening

Alrighty, right off the bat, the opening music giving me very much throwing it back at summer solstice 1531. Might fuck around and show some ankle, who knows

Um miss girl, first off all, i know damn well you aren't wearing a stark white shirt and capris shorts after labour day. And secondly, you gotta work on your self care babygirl, you are looking rough

Okay, so noted; there is clearly something off about this girl because i know when i personally rummage through family keepsakes, i don't have a hannibal look on my face

I don't know if you guys know this but your house...it needs a little 5 minute crafts, diy, extreme makeover: home edition treatment

Ohhhh baddie alert, baddie alert, baddie alert. That chick’s silhouette already got me acting up. Yes sink low to the ground girl, drop it down for me

Short monologue before being cut in half by that creepy ass stare, gotcha. I literally needed more nightmare fuel, thanks bestie

‘A change is coming, and nobody knows it’ how much more change can you get, your house is literally in shambles girl one battle at a time

First Act

Ah, here we are, title screen. Very cottagecore.

Timeskip: What did happen last tuesday, I must know...the suspense is suffocating

I’m not one to judge, but that record doesn’t sound like a life-coaching audio. 

Oh heyyy there's a kitty!

Yes hun, that is a working tap, your telekinesis is redundant. Eleven from stranger things eat your heart out.

Alexandra! Babyyy Daddario! Step on my face or domesticate me into a housewife, i beg of you. The uncle tho, he isn't it.

Chill out Mary, you’re just running errands. Why is she walking in a slow-mo naruto run like that. She is giving me a schizophrenic Napoleon Dynamite vibes.

Wait...is her name Meerkat?

Oh, its Merricat...nah i like mine better lmaooo.

Her inner monologue is making cackle because it sounds like a Gabbie Hanna original piece 💀

Okay what i got from the coffee shop scene was Stella is also a grade A baddie, I want to commit double homicide on those two douches, and i want to invite miss meerkat to my lunch table because awwww. She's just different leave her alone.

Wow, the village folk really know how to talk shit huh? Well, I can eat rats like all of them for every meal of the day, plus snackie snacks. Go fuck yourselves, thoroughly.

God that family needs to smoke some weed or something. Why do I feel like the sisters are about to kiss...and the uncle sounds like he means risky business. Very bad vibes here, back to you in the studio.

Ooooh, miss daddy really knows how to roll her tongue huh? Again, very much cottagecore ‘history says they were just really good friends’ aesthetic. And so many bops in this movie, kinda feel the need to throw it back or do the renegade.

Why do I feel like this next scene is just a posh episode of gossip gorl. Sipping tea and spewing nonsense. Rum cake? No thanks, babygirl. Oh but here comes uncle wanky, whisking away Lucille with his talk of arsenic.

Yes. Speak 8 course meal to me daddy...fuck, now I’m hungry. Okay the uncle isn’t so bad I guess, very poetic and philosophical. Yes, very nice. Sucks that he was roofied and turned to a professor X cosplay for solace, though.

Timeskip: Last Thursday huh? We are in for a rollercoaster folks.

*she glares in rhubarb pie and possibly shelved jam*

OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING, I SAW THE SIDE/BACK OF HIS HEAD AND MY HEART STOPPED. He has a very nice shaped head, yes, pleasing to the eye.

Hi sirrrr, I have a pocket full of horses, trojan and some of them used. Pls let me ride you in the little red corvette. Pick me, Charles, choose me, love me.

Real talk, I feel so bad for Mary Katherine (I literally almost typed Gallagher at the end lmaooo thanks molly shannon) she is obviously struggling with something and Constance looks like she is very traumatized. 

But I still think there’s something not right about Mary. Miss girl no one walks like that (thats a lie, it would probably be me after a night with Bucky barnes) and I love me a little witchy goodness. But not enough to start locking up my bedroom like it’s Area 51 and having secret rituals at my super exclusive, diy bohemian temple in the middle of the woods.

OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE FEELING I JUST FELT IN THIS ROOM ON THIS VERY DAY IN APRIL, MAMA FUCKING MIA

when he stood up—bitch I’m gone, I’m his whore now. Sorry, I am owned by this man. Bye I was literally launched off earth for a moment there, kinda chillin’ in dead space, standby.

Okay I took a break for a moment. I’m cool, I’m collected, play button is a go. NOPE, GIRL MY MOUTH IS FOREVER OPEN, AND I DUNNO IF I WAS MY BODY TELLING ME TO KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM OR WHAT—SOMEONE HOLD ME

Current state: I am hugging my knees and wasting away under my blankets. I paused and played and paused and played because I cant go more than 2 seconds of looking at him.

Okay, I’m all good.

All I keep saying is no...no ...NO, louder and louder every time he opens his mouth, ‘got a hug for your cousin?’ um not a cousin but yes, right bitch for that job present for attendance. Here ✋🏻

Girl I’d run like the wind, too, this kitty isn’t gonna dry itself, nyuuuooom, double time! Fall in, Rogers. Gotta keep up. 🏃🏻‍♀️

Timeskip: Last Friday night, yeah we dance on table tops and we took too many shots, I think I gave Charles a blo-oh-job, whoops—

Ah, see I knew there was something fruity about Charles, hopefully he kisses a boy in this. Would love to see that. 

Uh oh, the way he just pops that fruit into his mouth...I fine, I’m totally fine. Mentally I am... the way he chews if making my oral fixation quake

‘now that’s a handsome cat’ sir if you don’t—he wonders why he is such a fucking meme, this is why Sebastian. 

‘Jonassss’ which one of the brothers, tho? 

Ah yes, the best of friends; Meerkat, Frankie Jonas and a middle-aged Carter Baizen. Ugh mega sad that this is the closest I will get to see Charles pet a puthycat though.

Why don’t you slap my ass like a flapjack pancake, Charles. You won’t.

OMG so quirky 🤪when you steal his shirts 🥺🤪🥰

Who the is venice, Charles? Who, who, what are you, a fucking owl? WHO’S VENICE AND WHY IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE?! sorry i had to get that out of my system, iconic cinema shall not be overlooked. 

all this commentary is fresh from my chicken breast brain by the way

All i heard out of that little inspirational, facebook-esque speech at the dinner table was was shoes. Also peep Frédéric Chopin banging in the background noise, a little Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 to keep party goin’

Charles...that is your cousin.

It isn't a PHASE, Charles. Let him be emo over his dead brother and great tragedy of losing his legs then gaining the likeness of sir patrick stewart. Therefore, he will not forget.

Oh...i’ll sit down i guess. 

I COULD LITERALLY—...I could literally watch him eat for the rest of my life pls sir have murthy

Grocery boy...hmmm reminds me of a yee ole jingle i heard in my youth. What can i say, I’m a connoisseur of the classics my friends.

Sidenote: I’m getting vietnam flashbacks to singing ‘carol of the bells’ at the elementary christmas concert. I am overstimulated. And not in a good way.

Charles...do not add that newspaper clipping of your cousin to your personal spank bank, pls.

Timeskip: Last weekend, alright. What did we do; brewski’s with the boys? Hockey night in canada? one legged race? I’m dying to know...

Very nice form charles, you’ve almost dug right through the wood. A real mans-man here if we are being honest. I’ve never in whole life seen a construction crew do better than Charles Blackwood.

I could watch him do this all day.

Pearl necklace huh? Me too, girl.

‘I’m beginning to think, that my spells no longer work’ 8-year-old me, sitting in a bath full of salt and a charm bracelet of rock candy dissolving in the water after my fifth attempt to transform into a mermaid

Aw, but i would sit out there and eat a sandwich with Meerkat. Hell yeah, we can go halfsies on a BLT no problem 😢

oh...

oh no...Charles.

Here is my first sexual grievance, the way he carried that sack over his shoulder, mmm yes i have been fed most wonderful nutrients. BUT NEXT?! THE TWO FINGERS LINE AND THE FUCKING MOTION HE DID AND SAYING SHE WASN’T GOING DEEP ENOUGH PLS

what is with this man and gold...alright debutante Lance Tucker simmer down.

And the ‘hot’ thing, ‘needing a bath’? miss daddy is working it in for her cousin real hard, sweet home alabama all summer long

HEY LET'S ALL GO SWIMMING IN MY POOOL, AND BY POOL I MEAN BATHTUB, AND BY SWIMMING I MEAN SEXXXX--

Oh, so there’s this ominous whistling, nice, a blade kink, cool, and Charles serving body audi audi audi audi all the damn day. Hi sirrrrr. God i just love his chest, man. Its just so buff. He looks this good for what? And in front of his cousin...ew? um child, anyways so

the way my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way just shows that my body doesn't care about my comfort when it comes to thirsting and simping. He didnt have to look at her like that or fucking back her out

oh to be a chair...

esteemed audience member sac is a little tired of hearing cousin charles and cousin mary call each other cousin charles and cousin mary

Charles, eat your fruit and shut the fuck up. But also, hi sirrr.

I see you, Constance, I see you...tig ol’ bitties 👀

Timeskip: It’s Monday without the benefit of a sebastian stan, full frontal nude scene...smh

baby, just give up on the step and go fondle some plants please, i’m begging, stop at once. or, i spoke too soon?

If i have to hear sebastian say constance one more time i am going suck down all the arsenic i can find...he just says it so weird lmaoooo i hate it

Climax (make it happen, Charles 🙄)

Aw i love fruity, coffee shop, car men AU’s

that shot of him looking over his shoulder single handedly sent to into a spiral...what the fuck are you doing to me, Charles.

uh oh...one of the car men is madddd

OH OKAY WELL, WELL, FUCK ME, WELL

why dont you just come up behind her and literally growl in her ear what the fuck, Charles. I swear sebastian plays his characters just to make women go feral sometimes.

Sir! Sir! This IS A WENDY’S, SIR, THAT’S YOUR COUSIN--

NOT THE MILK CARTON

PLEASE I’M LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING, WHY IS HE DRINKING IT LIKE THATTTTT 

that little ‘aahh’ at the end when he drank it all got me, oh my fucking jesus. Hold on i need a minute, my stomach hurts from laughing my guts out.

Oooof but the eye-contact and the expressions are computing mega well to my chicken breast brain so fanfics will be written and sin will be committed so help me lord jesus on the cross almighty, amen (sorry i’m ex-catholic, its just my go-to)

pfffft that is so iconic, Mary is literally gathering sticks in the pitch black woods while Charles basically puts down his own wood for her sister to pick up on fjgrebgnuierijiojfd, i’m dying

why does he have to pull that poetic, sensitive stud act...just give us the goods charles, slap someone i’m begging you

This is like star wars all over again, they served head-on into on-coming incest traffic 

*holds up finger guns* sir, ma’am i’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your heads and get down on your knees exactly 8.92 feet apart, this is a citizen’s arrest 

but, i too would like to slow dance and make plans with him. Maybe we’ll go deep in the garden with two fingers on top of the rhubarb, maybe we will commit arson, who knows...

Meerkat continues to be my every mood, she really said:

Timeskip: Oh shit, its tuesday ya’ll, grab your party hats it’s about to get funky

Charles, if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop yelling out her name i will suffocate you between my thighs, electrocute your arm until it falls limp and shoot you with a grenade launcher, don’t make me do it

And yes, am i currently squirming in my seat because of the way he is smoking the pipe and hollowing his cheeks, what about it?

Second Act 

Yes baby girl! you trash that room like ozzy osbourne and tommy lee did to that motel on tour in 1982. Go, Meerkat, go!

Charles holding those sticks in both hands is the equivalent to a 1-year-old holding those little cocktail weenies, it has the same energy and i’m dying over it

Try to tell me it's not the same picture:

You can't.

Oh shit, its getting heated now. Mary’s in trouble.

Everything isn’t making sense at the same time its all coming together, i am confused, frightened, a little bit horny, but mostly just entirly overwhelmed. Mom...can you come pick me up, i’m scared.

Oh my god! knew it! i knew i knew the actor that plays the uncle, he's the creepy thin man from charlie's angels! Wowza, what a world.

Oh no...i’m flashing back to vietnam again, the fucking bells dude i’m tellin’ ya. There is so much going on, i feel everything but nothing at the same time, help...

NOOOO HER ARTSY BOHEMIAN WITCH COTTAGECORE JARS! THE OUTRAGE! SHE CANT CAST SPELLS ANYMORE, HER POWERS ARE LOST!

a CURSH! NOT A CURSH!

What in the criss angel mindfreak is going on in here on this day? Who are they? And why is the broad such a bitch...oh is she the mom? My bad. Pops seems nice though. Yes, indeed.

Awh, hiii frankie jonasss. 🥰

Oh here we go with the eating again. If i have to see him flex his jaw one more time i’m gonna go feral. And on the usual, loud and obnoxious noises like the ones he is making when he takes a bite, or chew or swallow food/a drink like the who fucking milk debacle. But he just makes it okay? Maybe its just my eating disorder bias coming into play but how can someone be sexy while eating, or smug? Like huh???

‘Why dont you like me?’ WHY DO YOU CARE CHARLES, GODDAMN IT

Is he playing the sad boi card reallyyy? You want someone to say thank you? Put yourself to good use then. I can think of a lot of ways you can use that mouth better than going on these strange mini-monolgues like some tortured writer with a kink for control...and breatheee

And she’s back with the Eleven telekinesis, sweet kat that is a meer you have running water! Pfft she is actually dressed like eleven too, like what. Oh wait did i just uncover the plot?

Breaking News: Eleven holds a whole town hostage.

Jesus with Charles eating, Mary getting the sudden urge commit arson, miss daddy looking so fucking fine that i would literally throw myself in front of a bus just to get her attention, and uncle X with his weird theatre act: my blood pressure must be through the roof

Wow hes got a temper, but poor connie, shes a hot mess lmaooo

Oh god...oh god okay this is happening, oh wow, you didn't even get through dinner first charles jesus. Listen, i never give choking up on the first date but if i had the chance...i don't want any sausages other than his, i said what i said

and it keeps going?? ummmmmm i ummmmmm, i don’t have words. I was not warned of this savagery and i don’t know if i’m going to be able to write for anyone other than Charles for a whillllleeee, hun, apologies

Good to know he also uses his super soldier senses in another universe to sense a fire deep in his loins like the dramatic king he is

Now he is driving away and laying on the horn, nice

Oh ho ho, yessssss my coffee shop baddie, my black coffee queeeeeennn Stelllaaaaa. She said, Superhero mode real quick.

ummmm uncle x with the sick mustache...thats certain death? I mean if you are into that sort of thing, have at it.

Okay still driving, people are crying over the bed burning into dust, the heavily disable man is still smoking the good stuff...got it.

Big red truck go Honk, Honk.

Oh here come all the old, white men. Lovely.

‘oh-hooo yeah, thats a fireeeee’ as far as old white men go, that was pretty fucking funny to me

Yeah its gonna be in the arms of the angels real soon if you girls dont get the fuck out????

‘We’re firemen’ and i’m a homo, you want a gingerbread cookie or something? put out the damn fire PLEASE 💀

Ummm you’re too late, i was already wet before you got that camera spray shot, dawg, oh but that poor camera guy lol

AND WEI’RE GOONA LETIT BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN, everybody its a singalong

hi, yeah...fuck off, jim

NO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES YOU KNOCKED OVER STELLA MY COFFEE MAMA

charles, you greedy bastard i dont know if should be ashamed when i say that i would still let him top me quite violently even still

Wow this rave got out of hand really fast, i blame marilyn manson

another day, another professor X 😪🔫💀☠️🔥🔪 𝚛𝚒𝚙, 𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡

i swear to go if anything happens to either my coffee mama or baby miss daddy i will reign hellfire.

Oh so it takes a gunshot for Charles to do a 360 running man but not a jay gatsby meets canadian, hockey riot, emo rave. Gotcha. Hes a man with a code.

That’s what you get for hoeing after your cousin, constance. This is all your fault!

Ending

Timeskip: Ooohhh, yesturrrrdayyyy all my troubles seems so far away--

hunny that ain’t the moon, thats your super secret boho alter

Noooo the kitchennnn, that was my favourite room, other than the bathroom for obvious reasons, I hope the milk cartons are okay...👀

I guess meerkat isn't getting her num-nums, and charles is just going to have to live with charred fruit if he decides to come back

FRANKIE JONAS! THANK GOD!

Oohhere'ss the tea, it's about damn time! I called it! I knew ms variant mongoose was the one who did the fucky things! But i was shocked to find out that Mary was the favourite child over connie, hmm very much bad parenting

ooooh, knock knock, is it charlie-boy? oh, thats disappointing, its just that gossip chick and her husband, boooooo

Never again...never. We get it baby daddy. 

oh? another knock? HAHAHAHAHA ITS THE FIRE GUY LMAOOO, what a king. He reminds me of stan lee!

What aare these people doing, they aren't goddess you give offerings to so that your crops will be plentiful, fuck off man. ANOTHER KNOCK..

and i opp-- herreeeees charlie!

‘friends’ sir you were halfway in her pantaloons, stop trying to act all innocent, the fuck. Wow hes really going for it huh? 

did he just rip the chain off? Oh charles relax, its door, you don't need to moan like that.

Uhm, i love connie, so fuck you charles you twisted, manipulative burnt cornstalk of a human being. Oh yeah throw a hissy fit, that's real attractive, keep going, she’ll totally say yes.

Oh wait NO DON'T DO THAT, NO THAT'S A DOOR. And another door? NO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY DADDY ALEXANDRA, SHES MINE. 

YOU LITTLE BITCH BOY, GET OFF! WTF!

:O 

*standing ovation* give it up for meer-to-the-kat, bravo kid! OH NO HES DEAd, YOU CAN STOP NOW

hahahaha guess whos deep in the garden now, Charles.

Ooh and we are back to start, nice. Children, she's a seasoned murder, might wanna chill on the whole bit you got going on.

Good, smile andddd scene!

Final Thoughts

Okie Dokie, I actually liked this movie a lot.

The acting was absolutely phenomenal, especially on Alexandra’s Daddario and Taissa Farmiga’s part, the characters were so well played. They focused in on so different points of view in this story that it captured the chaos that they were living individually and as a group under one roof. It constantly kept you on edge with the strange nuances in their dialogue, unnerving pauses and the progression of the condition of each character. 

It was great. The aesthetic was there, the small but necessary breaks with dark humour really kept the story flowing and most of all, the fervour. It was everywhere, in their emotions or outbursts like Charles at the dinner table and on the stairs, or the way the townspeople kept adding fuel to their own personal hell. And I must admit, it's hard to make characters like Jim the firefighter relevant, but every person that this story involves has a distinct purpose and significance to the plot.

The only negative thing I could think of was I just wish there was more, I wanted it to be longer so that the small gaps in the movie could have been powerful. Okay, what else. Yes, Charles Blackwood, despite all of...that, will make a great character for me to touch on and has a lot of interesting qualities that I will be sure to tap into. Oh! And the only reason why no one else is getting the stan award was that my coffee mama was the only character who wasn't off the rails or just a terrible waste of human life! We stan!

Hoped you enjoyed this and my questionable thought process, I’m gonna go now...bye lol

Overall Score: 8.5/10

🏆  Honorary Stan Award: Stella Ella Ola, Clap Clap Clap. Periodt.

#we have always lived in the castle #castle daddy #sac reviews