#also sometimes the vocational paths cross

[miniongrin]

Statute of Limitations (Immortals AU)

Wrote 800 words for an AU that’s been rotating in my brain for over a year that I still haven’t written, but I’m posting this anyway because I do what I want.

AU context, sparknotes edition: Ingo couldn’t get sent back directly to the future for timey-wimey reasons and spent 140 years immortal, chilling in the Coronet Highlands. Accidentally befriended/tamed/domesticated the feral cat of a man we know as Volo (also immortal) while he was waiting to catch up to the future and his twin. Now the Nimbasa trio has been reunited for over a year and Volo is the twins’ weird roommate and Elesa’s bitchiest bestie.

~

“Hang on,” Elesa says one night, as they’re sitting around the twins’ living room eating Sinnoh takeout, two and a half hours and two-thirds of the way into an hour-long documentary on Hisui. They keep pausing to give Ingo and Volo the chance to expound on whatever topic the documentary didn’t have the time or information to elaborate on themselves; Ingo’s infodumping is familiar and comforting, while Volo’s is a bit of a surprise but hilariously bitchy. Even when the documentary gets things right. “Volo—you consulted on this? Historically?”

“That makes it sound like I did so fifty years ago,” Volo sniffs. “I was a historical consultant on the topic. Mostly by mail; by the time they were making this, Cynthia was a little too popular for me to go wandering around Sinnoh without a good excuse for looking like her fraternal twin.”

So, yes, but in fifty words instead of one. Cool. “You like… you got paid money for this? Is this your job?”

Volo makes an dismissive sound. “Yes, I got paid for it, but it’s not exactly reliable work, nor does it pay greatly. As a historian, the best money is in research grants, but those are a little hard to get a hold of without extensive history at a university, and my need to shuffle identities every decade or so did clash with the need to accumulate that sort of history.”

“…So, yes but no?”

Volo rolls his eyes at her. “Yes, but no.”

Elesa mulls over that. She doesn’t unpause the documentary just yet, because there’s a niggling question in her brain now—

“Do you have a job?” Emmet asks before she can. “You’re here a lot.”

Volo huffs, deciding to take offense in that catty way of his, so Elesa jumps in before letting him answer: “Dude, you’re clearly loaded, I have never once heard you say a thing about hopping back and forth between here and Sinnoh and plane tickets aren’t cheap. Frankly, neither is this apartment, and I’d be surprised if you’re just letting the twins pay for it all.”

Volo regards her shrewdly for a moment, then hums as his eyes slide away. “Don’t worry about it.”

That is the least satisfying answer on the planet. She and Emmet immediately turn to Ingo for answers.

“I do not worry about it,” Ingo says immediately.

Elesa and Emmet’s eyes meet. Weird, suspicious emphasis with no real answer. Hmmm.

“I am Emmet. Are we harboring a fucking criminal?” Emmet demands.

Volo sputters. “I beg your pardon? That’s your first assumption?”

“That’s not an answer,” Elesa points out, entertained. “He’s only going to get more suspicious the more you avoid giving one.”

“And you, of course, are virtuously on my side,” Volo mutters bitchily. “The disrespect! And here I thought we had something. A camaraderie, if you will—”

“It’s not like you’re a poacher, Ingo would worry about it a whole lot if that were the case,” Elesa interrupts him. “I can’t really imagine you beating someone up—”

“I can,” Emmet says.

“—without going full-on crazy eyes,” Elesa corrects herself. “So this hypothetical crime you may have committed and have definitely not denied committing is probably, y’know. Petty. Which fits, because you are a petty, petty bitch!”

“I,” Volo says with dignity, “am the classiest bitch any of you will ever meet.”

“I am the classiest bitch in this room, but nice try.”

“You’re all cutting-edge fashion and avant-garde, that’s not the same thing as class.”

Elesa gasps loudly in overblown offense. “You take that back!”

“Ladies, you are both pretty,” Emmet intones. “Ingo. Has Volo committed crimes? Yes or no.”

Ingo pinches the bridge of his nose. “He doesn’t have a valid birth certificate and yet has had a functional passport for decades despite being stuck at twenty-seven. Of course he’s committed crimes, we knew that already.”

“I am Emmet. I meant for money.”

Ingo shrugs and reaches for a new can of soda. “Well, that’s none of my business.”

“Ingo.”

“Look,” Volo sighs, “can any of you truthfully tell me that you’ve never talked to a particularly out-of-touch gentleman whose lone battling Pokémon is holding a useless nugget of gold worth more than everything you have on your person and thought, you know, I bet I have an island somewhere that I could sell this moron?”

There’s a beat of silence. Emmet snorts. Ingo puts a hand over his face that doesn’t hide the amused curl to the corner of his mouth.

Elesa cackles. “Oh dragons, you scam rich people for a living? I need to hear about this right now immediately. Story time! Funniest scam you’ve done, let’s go.”

“Accusing me of being a scam artist now?” Volo snips facetiously, but he’s smirking. “I will confess to nothing. …At least, not until I have the chance to check the statute of limitations for a few things.”

#immortals au #submas #i don't know if i should be tagging this snippet as submas but the au as a whole definitely fits the tag sooooo? #no one can stop me #anyway volo is actually in the credits of the documentary that they're watching #but only under his Eccentric Historian alias for obvious reasons #also volo DOES do a lot of historian stuff in his free time (verifying artifacts and translations mostly) but it's more of a passion hobby #his tastes are too expensive to actually live on that sort of money #despite being born in 1848 and 100% being able to rough it with the best of them volo just exudes city slicker vibes to me #also sometimes the vocational paths cross #mostly when volo gets peeved at some specific person with a private historical collection he's being paid to verify something in #and he decides that for the good of the historical record he has to liberate a few things. preferably the rarest/priciest things

[angeltreasure]

Hi sister, I hope that you're having a blessed lent and that your puppy's surgery went well! I had a question, if that's okay. I wanted deeply to be a nun, my heart was really on fire for that vocation. But due to being disabled by severe mental illness, I was told no. Are there other ways I could be deeply involved in mysticism and the life of the church, bearing in mind my disability? I've thought about volunteering to help with cleaning the church but worry that I wouldn't be trusted due to my psychiatric history. Thank you, may God bless you ✝️💟

Hello there!,

I used to dread Lent in the past for a long time, but this year I finally cherish it more! It’s been really good so far. Thank you! He is resting by my side as I type to you. He had a removal of three spots with a laser, so one paw even has a cast that we’ll take off tomorrow. No throwing up so far, so the medicine is working good. I hope your Lent is going well! I’m sorry you were turned away from others because of your mental illness. Don’t loose hope though. Even though you may not be able to be a nun, you are still a very important to the church, because there are many parts to one body. I would ask your priest just the same to see if there is something you can join. Sometimes we don’t know until we ask. If he turns you away, don’t fear. There are many ways you can still help. You can:

- keep the Commandments. Go to Confession if ever needed.

- try to go to Mass every Sunday. If you’re able to, you can go more than once a week. The Mass is the highest form of prayer.

- donate food to the poor

- you can donate clothing to help cloth others

- money to families in need

- help a family member iron sheet linens used for Mass

- you can can make sure your pew is clean when you’re ready to leave Mass

- you can buy flowers to decorate your church

- you can light a candle to say a prayer for a loved one or maybe your whole church. If lighting a candle is too dangerous for your condition, there are stores that sell fake candles that are powered by simple batteries.

- you can smile at everyone around you when you go to Mass. sometimes a smile is the start of peace. That smile can make such a difference to others especially a visitor.

- you can give a little snack to the homeless. Even if it’s just a tiny water bottle or a little snack bar. You can also give them something like a Rosary, prayer card, or picture you can print out of Jesus.

- if you can’t make it to Mass in person on hard days, remember you can watch one online or listen to one on the radio. You can offer that Mass as a prayer for someone you know who needs prayers.

- pray for the souls of Purgatory any day of the year

- make the sign of the cross before leaving your house

- bless yourself and loved ones with Holy Water

- I volunteered to join groups not present specifically in my church like the Rosary group (we pray one Rosary each day) and a vocation society (I pray for all the vocations in my diocese to help others). Maybe there is one you can find online too.

- you can start a Bible study with parents, siblings, other family, friends, schoolmates, and even coworkers. It doesn’t have to be fancy. The Holy Spirit will help guide you.

- you can call others around for coffee and donuts after church

- you can read Lives of the Saints by Fr Alban Butler. There is a saint written for each day in his book that can inspire you in finding your unique path to holiness to become a saint in Heaven. In fact there are many books on the saints that are quite interesting!

- you can listen to hymns even if you don’t know the words in other languages

- there are many novenas and litanies you can find. Maybe you can pray for others.

- I like watching documentaries and movies about the saints and religious orders. Those can be fun! It can give you a glimpse into their life.

- make time for prayer each day. Start small. It can be just when you wake up or right before going to bed. Increase the time when you feel comfortable.

- sometimes I like spending time outside of churches looking at the statues and sitting in the gardens. This can be a great source of comfort to calm yourself.

- Eucharist Adoration in person is amazing no matter how much time you spend in it! Many saints have benefited from it. If you can’t go in person, you can find a video of one on YouTube.

- although it is not required, you can explore the idea of covering your head. There are many ways from headbands, scarfs, mantillas, veils, hats, and more! Don’t head-cover for fashion alone, but only for loving God. It can be very beautiful. Our Blessed Mother covered her head too.

- find a saint you can learn a lot from. You may find more than one at different times in your life. You may want to learn about St. Thérèse of Lisieux! Her “little way” may be of great inspiration.

- collecting Holy cards or pictures can be fun and used to pray about Bible stories! You could even do both… For example, find a picture of a similar Bible story of the Gospels then take out your Bible to read that story.

- read a little bit of the Bible each day (or listen to it). Start as small as one verse. Anyone is welcome to it. I highly recommend starting at the Gospels.

- buy or make a small book/notebook of your favorite prayers. Use it when you need it and share it them with others.

- remember to take care of yourself too. Eat healthy and get exercise. You body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Hope those can be a great way to start! Don’t feel pressured to do them all at once. Find one that works best for you and see how you bloom. May God bless you. 😊🕊️ 🌹

#asks

[lesdemonium]

Error Pining

Rating: T Ship: Geraskier Word Count: 2750 Summary:   When his djinn wish goes wrong, Jaskier finds himself unable to speak without excruciating pain. Geralt tries to fill the space himself. AN: a gift exchange fic written for @smuggsy for @thewitchersecretsanta. thanks so much for giving me an excuse to write physical whump for jaskier!

read on ao3  Before their argument, Geralt had been hazy, unfocused, and in dire need of sleep. He was still in dire need of rest, but now every sense was on high alert. The smell of blood and pain was so sharp, so strong, it left a metallic taste in his mouth and he just barely resisted the urge to try to clear his tongue of it. His eyes went wide, wild, as he tried to find the source of the blood. In a distant sort of way, he registered that he had been cut in their scuffle, but it wasn’t his blood he smelled. It was Jaskier’s.

Jaskier was doubled over, clutching at his neck, the djinn bottle long forgotten on the ground. His eyes met Geralt’s and he opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out before he was blinking away tears and dry heaving onto the ground. The hand around his throat was so tight Geralt wondered at how he could breathe, had a wild thought that maybe it was Jaskier’s own hand that was causing his scent to spike in pain and fear.

“Jaskier, what’s happened?” Geralt asked, bending over and hauling Jaskier back up by the collar of his doublet. Jaskier went, and when he tried to speak again, only a weak whimper came out before his face contorted in pain. His hands scrabbled at his throat and his eyes were so wide Geralt felt like all he could see was white, white, white.

“We’ll fix this, whatever it is,” Geralt promised him. Jaskier nodded weakly back.

They made it to the elf, Chireadan, who was less help than Geralt was hoping for. He asked Jaskier questions, and every time Jaskier attempted to answer, the same bitter taste of blood and pain and fear settled heavily within Geralt. The third time it happened, Geralt nearly punched Chireadan. Couldn’t he see this was hurting Jaskier?

“He can’t talk,” Chireadan finally settled on, and the look Geralt gave him must have been murderous, because he took a step back when their eyes met. “I can’t tell you more than that. Its origin is magical, and I have nothing that can reverse it. Something is ripping apart his throat whenever he talks.”

Jaskier let out a muffled hum, a desperate sound, that soon choked out and was replaced with the heavy scent of blood. 

“Sounds like not only when he talks,” Geralt said, and Chireadan’s grimace seemed to agree.

They were sent to a witch, Yennefer, but she wasn’t much help, either. She tried through the night, with Jaskier in a deep sleep, but when he awoke, nothing had changed. 

“I can’t do anything until you open your mouth to speak, bard,” Yennefer told them, and to her credit, she did look at least a bit remorseful. Or perhaps simply annoyed her magic couldn’t solve it. “Since I highly doubt you want to be singing as I fix you, there’s not much I can do for you.”

“Then how do we fix this?” Geralt asked, his voice tight.

Yennefer smiled and patted Jaskier’s hand condescendingly. “Have you considered a vocational change?”

They left, Jaskier silent and mourning beside Geralt. Yennefer’s advice was to track down another djinn, as Jaskier was unable to make the wish himself. Geralt thought this was a fool’s errand, and that Vesemir would be more help.

“I’m sorry, Jaskier,” Geralt said as they laid down to sleep that night.

Jaskier’s response was to turn over and go to sleep.

--

Traveling with a silent Jaskier was difficult for both of them. Every time Geralt looked at Jaskier, he seemed dimmer. At first, he still played his lute, but as they continued to travel and Jaskier’s throat continued to rip itself apart whenever he made even the softest hum, even that seemed to lose appeal to the bard. In taverns, Jaskier stared down at his mug, surviving the evening until he could turn in.

Geralt found he missed the sound. The silence beside him was uncomfortable, and made Geralt feel hollow. This felt as if it was his fault, as if he was the one hurting Jaskier whenever he made a sound. If he hadn’t been looking for the Djinn in the first place, Jaskier’s wish wouldn’t have backfired, and now Geralt wouldn’t have become acquainted with Jaskier’s forlorn face.

It took three days for Geralt to start talking, instead.

“Did I ever tell you about the griffin I fought outside Carrera?” Geralt said, offhand, as they traveled one day. 

He chanced a glance at Jaskier, only to find the bard staring back at him, a curious expression on Jaskier’s face. Jaskier’s lips were pressed tightly together, as if he was trying to remind himself not to speak up, and he squinted at Geralt. He looked almost suspicious. Geralt didn’t blame him. It wasn’t often that Geralt offered up his stories without a request, but Jaskier deserved something, and Geralt couldn't take the silence anymore.

So he told the tale, sparing no detail. At some point, Jaskier took out a notebook, and furiously scribbled the tale down. Often, Geralt had to stop, think about what sort of questions Jaskier would normally ask him, and try to answer them on his own. By the end of his tale, Jaskier was smiling. Despite his discomfort, Geralt smiled back. The remainder of the day was easier to bear.

As they traveled, Geralt told Jaskier of his contracts, as many as he could think of that Jaskier hadn’t already been there for. When he couldn’t think of a new story, he explained to Jaskier the difference between the vampire types, or the exact effects Swallow had on him. He felt silly, like he was play-acting as a professor, but it made the time go by faster. It also made Jaskier lighter, brighter, and eased something inside Geralt.

At night, when they were safely at camp, Jaskier began to play his lute again. Initially, they were the same songs Geralt had heard before. Jaskier’s songs, famous ballads written by other bards, lively drinking songs. As their travel wore on, though, Geralt began to hear songs he had never heard before. Soft, mournful things. Jaskier never met Geralt’s eye when he played these songs, but he did sit close to Geralt, so close that sometimes their arms would brush as Jaskier shifted up and down his lute. Geralt liked these songs best. He hoped, one day, he would get to hear Jaskier sing them.

These nights made Geralt brave.

“I ran into Eskel here, once,” he said. Jaskier didn’t stop playing, but he did look up, his eyes wide, his face open. “I don’t cross paths with the other witchers as much as I would like. You would like Eskel. He plays nice far better than I could. Doesn’t need a bard around to keep him in line around nobles.”

Jaskier bumped Geralt’s shoulder and they shared a grin. Geralt turned his gaze back to the fire and took a deep breath, but a moment later Jaskier nudged him again, this time with his knee.

“Yes, okay,” Geralt said, nodding. “I’ll go on. We were in the trials together. He’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to family.” Until now, his mind helpfully supplied. Geralt cleared his throat, as if to smother the thought. “You really would like him. He’s… thoughtful. Polite. Keeps his temper better. A better witcher, too. He’d make a better subject for your songs.”

Jaskier stopped playing abruptly. He placed his lute gingerly back in its case, then leaned into Geralt’s side. His arm snaked around Geralt’s, intertwining them before he fit their fingers together. Like they belonged there. Like their hands had always been meant to hold each other.

When Geralt looked up, his mouth felt dry. Jaskier’s eyes were so big, so beautiful, and he felt like he could see everything Jaskier couldn’t say in them. Geralt swallowed, heavily, and tried to speak for them himself.

“I’m.” He paused, wet his lips, tried again. “I’m glad you’re here. You make it easier. I feel less… alone.”

Geralt looked away, now. Back at the fire. Jaskier didn’t nudge him back this time, and didn't try to get his attention. Instead, he hesitated only a second--Geralt could feel the way he started, then stopped, then started again--and rested his head on Geralt’s shoulder. They stayed like that until Jaskier’s yawns could no longer be ignored, and they had to turn in for the night.

--

Geralt missed Jaskier’s voice most in the morning.

It was no secret that Jaskier was terrible when he first woke up. Grouchy, whiny, wheedling every which way. He hated mornings and he hated getting up early and would always be dead to the world for the first hour or so that he was awake.

Despite this, he always wished Geralt a good morning, even if it was gruff and his smile was more of a grimace. As he started to wake up, he’d often tell Geralt about his more ridiculous dreams. Often, Geralt was sure he had fabricated them entirely, just to make Geralt roll his eyes.

Now, Jaskier always woke up in pain. He’d groan first thing in the morning, or whine, or make some other sort of noise, and immediately his entire body would seize up in pain. Geralt had gotten softer in his approach to waking Jaskier up, trying to ease him into consciousness, to avoid the pain. It worked sometimes, but Jaskier was still too hazy upon first waking to remember why he couldn’t make noise. Then his eyes would fill with unshed tears as he desperately held out his hand for the waterskin. It didn’t seem to help, but at least it was an action Jaskier could take.

They survived. Hearing Jaskier’s silence never got easier, still left Geralt feeling hollow, but it became easier to fill the silences himself. Jaskier got better at expressing himself through the way he touched Geralt. Geralt had a feeling that had never been a skill Jaskier lacked, per se, but that he had only recently been allowed to touch Geralt. Now, he was taking his fill.

Geralt wondered how much time he had lost without Jaskier’s easy affection.

To get Geralt’s attention, Jaskier would grab his knee as Geralt road Roach, or press a hand between Geralt’s shoulder blades. He fingered Geralt’s sleeve nervously when they were in taverns and he had nothing to do with his hands. He would take Geralt’s hand as they walked through a crowd so they didn’t lose each other.

Geralt’s favorite touches, though, were still in front of their campfire. The trees around them, the stars in the night sky, the light of the fire and the way it crackled, all of it was beautiful, but it was nothing compared to the way Jaskier leaned against Geralt. Jaskier pressed himself into Geralt’s side, often allowing Geralt to wrap his arm around Jaskier’s shoulder or waist. Jaskier would play his lute, would play his soft, lovely songs, that had grown more hopeful as time went on. Geralt would tell Jaskier stories about growing up, about trouble he, Lambert, Eskel, the other wolves, had gotten into. He told Jaskier about the trials and let Jaskier comb his fingers through Geralt’s hair to comfort him, though Geralt insisted he didn’t need comforting. He told Jaskier about Renfri, about Blaviken, about his mother. Geralt told Jaskier everything.

Everything except about the way his heart hammered in his chest as Jaskier looked at him. Everything except how he sometimes dreamed of Jaskier’s voice, and woke up with a longing he couldn’t put to words. Everything except how he wanted, more than anything, to kiss Jaskier, but couldn’t be sure what Jaskier wanted.

“Can I… be honest with you?” Geralt asked one night. 

Jaskier turned to him just enough to roll his eyes at Geralt. As if Jaskier could stop him, the look seemed to say. Jaskier turned back to his lute, but his playing got softer, as if he was trying to give Geralt the space to speak.

“Right,” Geralt said. He paused, took a deep breath, rubbed the hem of Jaskier’s shirt between his fingers. “I don’t. I don’t know if Vesemir can help.”

Jaskier stopped playing and stiffened somewhat. But he didn’t turn around, didn’t put his lute down. Only stopped and waited.

Geralt swallowed thickly. “I hope he can. I think he’s our best bet. But, short of finding another djinn for me to make a wish… I don’t know how fixable this is. Unless we went back to Yennefer and had her heal you while you sing--” Jaskier let out a shiver and the stench of fear overwhelmed Geralt. “I know. It’s not good. But I don’t know how else to fix you if Vesemir has no ideas.”

Jaskier took a deep breath. He remained stiff against Geralt, but now he started playing again. His song was sad, mournful again, and Geralt’s heart ached with it. He wished, more than anything, that he could fix this.

“I’m not giving up,” Geralt whispered, some time later. “We’ll find something else to try. We’ll fix this eventually.”

The sound Jaskier made wasn’t quite a scoff. It was more a sharp exhalation, dismissive and--maybe Geralt was reaching here--a bit wounded. Geralt lifted his hand, hesitated a moment, then ran his fingers through Jaskier’s hair. Jaskier leaned back into the motion, until his head fell back on Geralt’s shoulder.

“I mean it, Jask,” he said. His mouth felt dry again. “I miss your voice. I miss the lyrics that would go with your songs, even the ridiculous ones. I miss your jokes, your incessant complaining, the way you flirt with everyone and sometimes wink at me as you do it.”

Jaskier pulled away, and Geralt froze. Apparently, he had overstepped somewhere. He forced himself to look at Jaskier, but instead of discomfort or disgust, he found shock. Awe. Jaskier put his lute away, his fingers lingering on the clasps of his case, then he returned to Geralt’s side. After another moment of hesitation, Jaskier shifted, climbing over Geralt’s lap. Jaskier cradled Geralt’s face with feather-light touches as he leaned in, pressed their foreheads together.

“Jaskier, I--” Geralt started. 

Geralt trailed off, then wrapped his arms around Jaskier’s waist. He didn’t know how to accept this from Jaskier verbally, he didn’t know what to say, but he could hold him. Jaskier let out a relieved breath, and Geralt felt the gust of air against his lips. Geralt touched his fingers to the corner of Jaskier’s mouth. Jaskier pressed a hand to Geralt’s heart.

“You’re so much better at words than I am. I wish--” He trailed off again, thumbed along Jaskier’s cheekbone, held the back of his head. “You can’t tell me what you want.”

Jaskier’s breath sounded almost like a laugh, just before he leaned in to touch their lips together. The kiss was short, simply a way to test the waters. Jaskier pulled away, only for Geralt to drag him back in for more. Jaskier sighed into Geralt’s mouth and Geralt swallowed the sound, wished desperately he could hear more, wanted to see what all he could pull from Jaskier’s throat.

It was this thought that had Geralt pulling away. Jaskier’s eyes looked hazy, his smile dopey and big, as he stroked the side of Geralt’s face and his hair. He looked the happiest Geralt had seen him in months, since before the djinn had taken away his voice. Geralt kissed him again. And again. And again. Jaskier accepted every time.

“I wish you could talk. I want to hear your voice,” Geralt whispered into Jaskier’s mouth.

Jaskier whined a little, then reared back, just as Geralt flinched away, his arm suddenly burning. Jaskier’s hands flew to his throat and Geralt ripped back his sleeve to see a second mark, just beside the long-forgotten injury he had gotten when they squabbled over the amphora. Geralt’s eyebrows furrowed as he considered the mark, wondered after what in the world caused it, only for his focus to be dragged away by Jaskier.

“Geralt,” Jaskier said, and his face broke out into the most brilliant grin. “What--I can talk again. It doesn’t hurt at all!”

Jaskier was still laughing as he dragged Geralt in for another kiss, which Geralt readily accepted. This time, he didn’t hold back any of his sounds. Each one was more beautiful than the last.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #geraskier fanfic #geraskier fanfiction #my writing #not me taking lyrics from my favorite christmas song #despite this not at all being a christmas fic #no sir #anyway i gotta tell you sitting on a fic for a month was WILD #hope you enjoy it!!!

[the-empress-7]

Final thought about our university applications. We apply via a body with the accronym UCAS. In the 90s when i went to uni, the application was for 5 universities ranked according to personal choice and 5 vocational schools also ranked according to choice. The system hasn't changed that much, but you still apply to that many universities. If your grades don't get you into the first choice, UCAS automatically sends your application to the next university on your list and so on. Clearing is a 1/2

2/2 direct application to the university entrance dept and sometimes directly to the dept of your course. They will usually arrange to give you an interview after they've accessed your UCAS application. In a way it's forcing them to see you as a student where your A level results are just a number. Kate may have applied to both Edinburgh and St Andrews so that when she decided to switch, it wasn't too difficult especially if places became available following A level results.

====

Thanks. Can I just say I find this whole topic about Kate allegedly switching universities amusing. It’s just an excuse for her detractors to paint her as something she is not. 

Who is to say Will and Kate would not have crossed paths some other way? After all they moved in the same circles. Who is to say William couldn’t just have run into her at a polo match and fallen in love at first sight? When two people are meant to be together, the universe finds ways to make it happen. Trust me.

[yr-hen-ogledd]

Have you got any Iron Tusks lore lying around, or are they a completed project? I've been scrolling through the tag snapping up those gorgeous in-universe fluff snippets, and it's made me really curious about their backstory.

Ok so first of all thanks for saying a nice thing about my writing, which I have much less confidence in than I do in my painting. I’m super happy it grabbed your interest!

As for the Great Iron Tusks Fluff Bible… Well, for most of this evening I thought it’d been lost when I upgraded to my new(er) PC. But apparently I never delete anything ever and having done a bit of digging, well: here’s just about the entire history of the chapter, up to end of the 41st millenium & the creation of the Great Rift. Delve beneath the cut if you dare.

 Caveats: I read the background for the Warhammer 40,000 universe back in, like, 1996? ‘97? I haven’t paid too much attention since. I much prefer to just make shit up. I dip in here & there but you may find bits in here that seem to contradict actual canon - roll with it, I guess? It’s a big universe governed by an unreliable megabureaucracy; there’s room for more than one version of the truth.

++REF::CS+IRON_TUSKS

ADT.ASTARTES.DES.IRON.TUSKS

>IRON TUSKS: Adeptus Astartes chapter. Founded 738.M41 using Ultramarines gene-seed on Khaskal IV, Ultima Segmentum. Supervising officer Capt. Jun Harkenas (ex-Silver Skulls), subordinate officers including Capt. Astor Valk (ex-Silver Skulls), Capt. Haral Gor (ex-Carcharodon Astra), Reclusiarch Bron Ovidor (ex-Doom Eagles), Sgt. Torias Telion (Ultramarines, secondment), assisted by advisory council led by Barad Valur Arendt & other tribal elders.

On advice of Capt. Gor and the elders of the laghun, attending hiero-scrivenor Gorganaeus grants permission to Captain Harkenas to alter original ministorum designation BLACK PALADINS to IRON TUSKS in recognition of indigenous ursid life-forms known locally as Roortagha. Harkenas also orders chapter livery changed to deep crimson to fit with native blood rituals and warrior traditions. The Adeptus Terra’s initial audit detects minor mutations of the oolitic kidney, Betcher’s gland & the mucranoid gland, producing a moderately toxic & caustic airborne suspension when the marines’ sweat evaporates. The mutation falls well within acceptable levels of deviation and the founding is consecrated. The chapter is officially armed on St. Burden’s Day, 744.M41, fighting strength 350 scouts, 250 marines, plus command staff and various supporting elements including 3 strike cruisers. Captain Harkenas is named First Marshall, Captain Valk is named 2nd Company Marshall ; Master of the Armoury, Captain Gor is named 3rd Company Marshall ; Master of Recruits ; Bron Ovidor becomes High Chaplain. Sgt. Telion returns to Macragge.

745.M41: Hive Fleet Behemoth descends upon Ultima Segmentum. The Great Devourer carves a bloody path through the Imperium’s suprised and confused defenders leaving only lifeless rocks in its wake. Bio-ships appear at system terminus without warning after listening posts on Brennan’s World and Valentina are overrun by hostile xenoforms. Massively outnumbered, First Marshall Harkenas orders Khaskal IV evacuated and the chapter’s gene-seed secured aboard the strike cruiser Silverback. Harkenas and Ovidor lead half the chapter’s evocatii in a forlorn delaying action. Behemoth is eventually stopped at enormous cost, but Khaskal is stripped of all life weeks beforehand. The surviving brothers make a final return to salvage what equipment & armour they can, but leave the system within a week of arrival.

The Iron Tusks, now fleet-based, appear to drift between campaigns for several years, intervening in battles at Verrae, St. Nazaire, Xavierus and Sacristan. At Xavierus, Major-General Valdestin of the 120th Cadian Expeditionary records the Iron Tusks deploying “4 companies in good order, though unorthodox in equipment.” At Sacristan, Captain Serrus of the Star Phantoms notes the Iron Tusks battlefleet joining their own with 5 ships of the line, “three of which had clearly been reclaimed from unsanctioned sources.” Both commanders describe their allies scavenging war materiel from their enemies and after Sacristan, in which the combined Astartes forces drive off a raiding force of Red Corsairs traitors, the Iron Tusks (apparently now under the command of Haral Gor) pursue the traitors into the Maelstrom “with relish.”

The following decades paint a confusing picture: in 786.M41 they appear in the journal of the Rogue Trader Jelena diVerre as masters of Loghain’s Cross, a feudal world to the galactic south of Baal. Certainly, a number of imperial records from this time period make mention of the Iron Tusks fighting numerous battles against the orks raiding out of the Galatian Belt and against eldar pirates on Barre. But by the time Waaagh! Gormug makes a ruin of several Imperial worlds in 802, the Iron Tusks have apparently moved on. While the Blood Angels defend Loghain’s Cross, the Iron Tusks are recorded fighting “at chapter strength” against the bloody, Alpha Legion-led rebellion on Vittkenstein

“Though all who know the space marines know the essential diversity bred by their independent formations, I declare I never encountered a body of fighting men of such strange attitudes as these - leastways not as allies. The Irontusks (sic) seem to view their vocation almost as a great sport. They count kills upon their armour, they swear a great deal, they make indecipherable guestures toward the enemy (many of which I suspect are lewd in character!). Throne preserve us, at one juncture I visited a defensive position to inspect the conditions and found one of them sat in the cupola of his tank, smoking a lho-stick of very ill flavour. And yet who can complain of their devotion to the Emperor’s cause? After every raid they return with fallen comrades over their shoulders, bloodied banners of the enemy and grotesque smiles across scarred faces. One of their officers asked me if the regiment had encountered foes such as these before and when I answered him in the affirmative he declared that his men would be following us home.”- Colonel Ferdinand Maxwell-Gray, Mordian 18th.

Certainly the Iron Tusks do seem to have moved erratically toward the Mordian system for a time, but their route is difficult to ascertain. The war on Vittkenstein lasts another 4 years, but after that various naval records refer to the Iron Tusks retiring to a number of different homeworlds: Ironhold, Merite, Kyushin II, Jara-na-vere-ko, Elva XI and as many as 8 other planets are recorded as the chapter’s home base. Furthermore, having reached Mordian they seem to have moved on shortly after in the direction of the Cadian Gate and the Eye of Terror. More informatively, we can say with certainty the date at which they did so. Having claimed the death world of Morsava sometime before 984.M41, they subsequently sell the planet in 999.M41 to the governor-militant of Mordian for the perfunctory sum of 1 Imperial Credit - three days after the onslaught of the 13th Black Crusade. At this time Battlefleet Obscurus naval records indicate a fleet of 7 strike cruisers, one battle barge (designated Tough Love) and numerous escorts, bulk haulers and sundry other ships leaving the Mordian subsector and bearing galactic south-west.

++RECORD ENDS++

++THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A CLOSED MIND IS WELL-DEFENDED

It would appear that the Iron Tusks have adopted a modus operandi by which they occupy any world which they are able to take from enemy forces, staying long enough to recover losses in men and materiel, before abandoning it in the event that better ‘sport’ presents itself elsewhere. It is a pattern which has seen battle companies attach themselves frequently to Imperial army groups unsolicited, apparently to involve themselves in more violence.They seem to act without any thought to wider Imperial strategy, or to collateral damage. Can their wilful disregard for authority be tolerated? More gravely, is their pursuit of violence for violence’s sake not a well-worn trail on the path to damnation? My Lord, I must recommend an immediate Inquisitorial audit be carried out on these rogues - lest rogues be left to turn altogether renegade.

I remain your humble and obedient servant,

9.

There you have it. The rest of it gets written as & when models & projects inspire me to get typing. You’ve seen glimpses of the Tusks post-rift activities - stranded on the wrong side of the sky-scar, scavenging the debris of fallen worlds, occasionally finding gold dust on shattered hulks that float out of the few relatively stable shipping routes across the Cicatrix Maledictum, and sometimes adopting new friends of mysterious origin from the beleaguered worlds of the Imperium Nihilus. There will probably be more in the future! No project is ever really finished until you run out of ideas.

#daddyfantastic #iron tusks #space marines #warhammer 40000 #40K #I came this close to painting more Iron Tusks watching the first few episdoes of the Mandalorian #but events conspired against me and the moment passed

[beneaththetangles]

Higurashi, Lent and the Martyrs

Where did it all go wrong? As the events of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (When They Cry) reset again and again to square one, like an inadvertent Goundhog Day, protagonist Keiichi Mabara repeatedly asks himself this question. Caught in a murder spree of some sort or another, with a different friend of his group involved each time, touches that suggest that something not of this world may be going on. The small village of Himinazawa, with its cornfields and its forests, the countryside school with only a few children, the small clinic, the restaurant, and the local festival of Watanagashi provide the environment of this tightly-constructed horror story of an evil to be released when the cidadas cry.

I should probably begin by pointing out that Higurashi is a quite gory show, full of spilled blood, crushing sounds, and entrails—so gory I almost dropped it twice—with an eerie atmosphere in its everyday scenes (sort of like Serial Experiments Lain—a little too pale, a little too bright). It features compelling characters whose personalities unveil in time; themes of child abuse and estrangement, superstition, torture, mental illness, demonic possesion and murder; and the intelligent planning that the works based on 07th Expansion Visual Novels always deliver, toying with different horror story or murder mystery explanations for the events shown again and again from different perspectives.

Despite this, and of it reminding me of Erased, one of my favorite series, at times I could barely put up with the show: If I didn’t drop it just like Medieval Otaku did a year ago, it was only because I cheated and I investigated some aspects of the story beforehand (and not even that got me through Umineko, the other 07th Expansion horror classic), and I knew that the story valued these characters and was invested in saving them in some way, and not just quartering them psychologically or literally for the thrill of it, as does the infamous “torture porn.”

While I’m still not sure if I like it as a whole, it surely has provided me something to think about just before the Lenten season. After all, the original Lent story also has to do with an unspeakable evil confronting Our Lord when He was physically and mentally pushed to the extreme, an evil that frequently crushes us with its deceit and its horror, and of an unlikely plan of salvation that may bring us the truth about ourselves and others, confronting an evil that transcends time with an even more powerful force, uniting and bringing us salvation. And for us here and now on this Earth, Lent is also a cycle, a year-to-year repetition in the midst of our everyday world as the feast of Watanagashi and the perpetually resetting world of Higurashi are in different ways.

The cycle of Lent and the challenges we face, some self-imposed, some external, are thus an opportunity to meditate and remember what kind of story we are living, benefiting from the knowledge of our previous iterations; what lies and illusions may we, or the world around us, be trapped into, and what should we fight to change in the path of conversion; to fight the kind of devils that do not go out except by prayer and fasting; and to repent and take a different path. And some of it depends on the way we live the path towards the feast—which even if the Good Friday and Watanagashi are almost opposites, involves in both cases a cruel sacrifice and a hidden meaning—on the way we celebrate it, and on the way we live its consequences. As pilgrimage, in a way Lent represents our life on Earth as a whole, marked by grief, evil, love, and hope.

Just as some shows are to be enjoyed from the beginning to the end, some are to be endured at times if you want to reach what they want to tell you. Bokurano, Casshern Sins, Now and then, here and there and Madoka, along with Haruhi Suzumiya´s Endless Eight arc, are the examples that come to mind. What is particularly interesting both in Higurashi and the Lenten season is that the not-so-pleasant moments of either horror and fasting (from food, meat or other good things we may chose to postpone for a time) have the purpose of taking Keiichi (and us) away from the delusions of self-sufficiency of the rich man of the parable of Lazarus and to our true mission, to “unblock” aspects of our embodied reality and the reality of the world we may never come to see otherwise. Because there is true evil acting here and now, evil that may twist our personal stories, and the way out goes through friendship and community, soul searching and repentance, devotion to the truth and help from the transcendent.

I will discuss now some specific parallels which will reveal some aspects of the plot. So spoilers ahead for the horrific first and second season of Higurashi (When they cry).

Something that struck me was how from the very first arc, the characters I had come to like suddenly felt threatening in the course of a scene. Sometimes it is an illusion; sometimes they are in effect falling into the fated role of the killer, some seemingly possessed, others affected by the Syndrome, their traumas, or such overwhelming pressure that they lose it. Familiar faces suddenly look unfamiliar, words become harsh, ugly sentiments come to light and the behavior of Mion, Shion, Rena, Keiichi, and Rika, become dark or even demonic. Twisted parts of their personal stories are revealed. It seems that we never knew them at all. The rest of the characters become afraid for themselves. It is especially unsettling when this happens to the POV protagonist, who we were identifying with, sharing his or her struggles, as Keiichi in Sakoto’s arc or Shion in hers. This kind of reveal happens in real life, too.

Yet we must never forget that in a world of sinners, the worst enemies are inside us, and we and our loved ones are affected by that evil. Sin is indeed dark, and the evil we see is only its manifestation: the root of all evil lives in the heart, not in the external realities of the world. And yet, in the heart there is also thirst for God, a desire to be saved. Those are the people Our Lord loves, heals, and redeems, the people we are called to love. Just as He healed those who were possessed, He inspires our faith in Him to forgive our sins and give us a path. As Keiichi slowly comes to learn in the course of the different arcs, whenever we are afraid of the evil in ourselves and in others, the call of loving and receiving God´s love becomes specially urgent.

Another parallel is found in the path given. Rika Furude, the priest of Oyashiro-sama, turns to be in true connection to the deity, and keeps the memories of all the previous iterations. Thus she knows what will happen beforehand. Yet she is human, one of the group, each of whose members have a different vocation to protect the others, from Satoshi’s bat to the detective skills of Rena. Just like that, in this world in which good and evil, and love and sin transcend time and space, the Church and the Scriptures hand down to us what lies beyond the apparent. This brings us a community, too, whose members have the gifts we need, while we have some they need. Only from there may we overcome a darkness that would devour us were we to combat it with our own force.

Lastly, I was impressed by how explicitly pagan the world of Himinazawa is. Far from the usual Shinto traditions are presented without much thought in most anime series, the cult of Oyashiro-sama is a true self-adoration by the Himinazawa community akin to that of totemic cultures. The true Oyashiro-sama turns out to be benign and eventually part of the gang, just as the real God could not be more different from the idols of the pagans, for they project in them the darkness of their own hearts. For all purposes, she is as forgotten as the Unknown God St. Paul told the Athenians about, and the one who is revered is the statue at the forbidden sanctuary full of instruments of torture.

The way of life of the inhabitants of the village is marked by harsh traditions such as infanticide of the twins. The dance at the Watanashi festival represents the ritual human sacrifice of old, the rule of the three families sometimes entails severe group pressure, and superstition is rampant, along with which seem to be demonic possessions. They are not, but rather paranoia and illusions caused by the Himinazawa Syndrome and narratively something more akin to the self-closure caused by sinking into different sins, from lack of faith to the lust of revenge. Not demonic possession, but demonic temptation. Keiichi, though a stranger, is involved in it all. In that way, he is similar to the first Christians in the Pagan world, including the Apostles, who were often killed in gruesome ways, some of them too gory for even Higurashi to depict. Influenced by the demonic, the hate of the worshippers of the idols towards Christians of all ages often reaches dimensions which seem impossible, as Our Lord told us that will happen. For if the Master has been persecuted, the disciples will be persecuted too.

But Christians know that the path of the martyrs is not one of tragedy and despair, but, like the deaths at Higurashi, precisely a mysterious way of joining Christ at the Cross and saving others. Loving the very executioners that kill them, aided by Providence, they are giving testimony of a love greater than the prince of this world and crossing a door which will lead them to Christ´s Resurrection, just as it lead them throughout Christ´s Passion. In the penultimate episode of the first season, it’s shown that the hopeful path of Higurashi started with a sacrifice: under the bat of a maddened Keiichi, Rena extended her hand towards him and offered love and friendship until the end. He didn’t even notice at the time, but twenty episodes later, this memory came back to show him the first step of a way out for him and for her, and for the others, too. In different arcs, Satoko and Rika did the same. And many have done the same for their tormentors, for their loved ones and for us. And there is life at the other side.

=====

Higurashi can be streamed on Netflix and Hulu.

#Anime #Christianity #Higurashi no Naku Koro ni #When They Cry #Lent #Catholicism #Articles #Author: Gaharet

[pope-francis-quotes]

7th April >> (@ZenitEnglish By Deborah Castellano Lubov) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis’ Homily during the celebration of Holy Mass in Casa Santa Marta on Tuesday of Holy Week. #Pope Francis Prays ‘for Those Serving Unjust Sentences’ (Full Text of Pope Francis’ Morning Homily).

At Casa Santa Marta on Day Cardinal Pell Was Acquitted, Reminds that From the Womb, God Had a Plan for Each of US

None of us fell into this world by chance…. From the womb, God had a plan for us…

According to Vatican News, Pope Francis stressed this today, April 7, during his private daily Mass at his residence Casa Santa Marta on this Tuesday of Holy Week.

At the start of the Mass, while remembering all victims of Coronavirus, the Holy Father prayed for innocent people, unjustly sentenced.

“I would like to pray today for all those persons who suffer an unjust sentence because of persecution.”

Jesus, the Holy Father lamented, was targeted by the doctors of the law even though He was innocent.

Reflecting on Isaiah’s prophecy (Is 49: 1-6) relating to the Messiah and the People of God, the Pope has ‘chosen’ each and everyone of us, for a particular mission.

“God chose the prophet before he was born,” the Jesuit Pope reminded, pointing out: “In the same way, each one of us is chosen with the vocation of serving from our mother’s womb. None of us fell into this world by chance.”

Each one of us, he said, has a destiny, a free destiny. “The destiny is the election of God. I am born chosen to be a servant of God with the task of serving.”

All of us, the Pope reminded, in one way or another are called to serve, and to live out our own vocation in significant and in little ways.

“Except for Our Lady and Jesus,” he admitted, “we have all fallen.” The example of Peter is a source of inspiration, Francis said, recalling that when Peter denied Jesus and the cock crowed, he cried and repented (Mt 26:75).

“This is the path of a servant who asks for forgiveness when he or she slips and falls.”

Francis lamented the other path where the servant is incapable of understanding that he or she has fallen, leaving the heart open to passions that lead to idolatry. “Like Judas,” he regretted, “the heart becomes open to Satan.”

Pope Francis concluded his homily, inviting faithful to to think of Jesus who was faithful in service. “We are by vocation meant to serve and not to make a profit from our position in the Church.”

Like Peter, Pope Francis prayed, may we be able to weep when we slip and fall.

Before concluding, the Pope exhorted faithful to partake in Spiritual Communion in this difficult time, and ended the celebration with Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction.

Here are the Holy Father’s words, followed by the prayer for Spiritual Communion:

I prostrate myself at your feet, O my Jesus, and I offer you the repentance of my contrite heart, which abases itself in its nothingness in Your Holy Presence. I adore you in the Sacrament of Your Love; I desire to receive You in the poor abode that my heart offers You. While waiting for the happiness of a Sacramental Communion, I want to possess You in spirit. Come to me, O my Jesus, that I may come to You. May Your Love inflame my whole being, in life and in death. I believe in You, I hope in You, I love You. Amen.

The Masses in Francis’ chapel normally welcome a small group of faithful, but due to recent measures’ taken by the Vatican, are now being kept private, without their participation.

It was announced this month that the Pope would have these Masses, in this period, be available to all the world’s faithful, via streaming on Vatican Media, on weekdays, at 7 am Rome time.

The Vatican has also published the Pope’s Holy Week and Easter schedule, confirming this year’s events will not welcome the physical presence of the faithful, and the events will be made available via streaming.

This comes at a time too when the Italian bishops’ conference has canceled public Masses throughout the nation, following guidelines put out by Italian authorities.

In addition to Santa Marta, the Vatican has taken other steps to keep people safe and to stay close to the Pope, even if from a distance. They are televising the Pope giving privately, from the papal library, his weekly Angelus and General Audience addresses.

The Vatican Museums are now closed, along with the Vatican’s other similar museums. There have also been various guidelines implemented throughout the Vatican, to prevent the spread of the virus.

For anyone interested, the Pope’s Masses at Santa Marta can be watched live and can be watched afterward on Vatican YouTube. Below is a link to today’s Mass. Also, a ZENIT English translation of the Pope’s full homily is available below:

***

***

FULL HOMILY [translated by ZENIT’s Virginia Forrester]

The prophecy of Isaiah, which we listened to, is a prophecy about the Messiah, about the Redeemer, but also a prophecy about the People of Israel, about the People of God: we can say that it can be a prophecy about each of us. In essence, the prophecy underscores that the Lord has chosen His servant from the maternal womb: it says it twice (Cf. Isaiah 49:1). His servant was chosen from the beginning, from his birth or before his birth. The People of God were chosen before their birth, also each one of us. None of us fell into the world by accident, by chance. Each one has a destiny, has a free destiny, the destiny of God’s election. I am born with the destiny of being a child of God, of being a servant of God, with the task to serve, to construct, to build — and this from the maternal womb.

Jesus, the Servant of Yahweh, served until death: it seemed a defeat, but it was the way of serving. And this underscores the way of serving that we must take up in our life. To serve is to give oneself, to give oneself to others. To serve and not expect for each one of us some benefit that isn’t to serve. To serve is glory, and Christ’s glory is to serve until annihilating Himself, until death, death on the Cross (Cf. Philippians 2:8). Jesus is the Servant of Israel. The People of God is servant, and when the People of God moves away from this attitude to serve it is an apostate people: it moves away from the vocation that God has given it. And when each one of us moves away from this vocation to serve, we move away from God’s love, and build our life on other loves, often idolatrous.

The Lord has chosen us from the maternal womb. There are falls in life: each one of us is a sinner and can fall and is fallen. Only Our Lady and Jesus <are not>. All the rest of us have fallen, we are sinners. However, what matters is <my> attitude before God who chose me and anointed me as servant. It’s the attitude of a sinner that is able to ask for forgiveness, as Peter, who swore “no, I will never deny You, Lord, never, never, never! — then, when the cock crowed, he wept. He repented (Cf. Matthew 26:75). This is the path of the servant: when he slips, when he falls, he asks for forgiveness. Instead, when the servant isn’t capable of understanding that he is fallen, when passion takes hold of him in such a way that it leads him to idolatry, he opens his heart to Satan, he enters in the night: it’s what happened to Judas (Cf. Matthew 27:3-10).

We think today of Jesus, the Servant, faithful in service. His vocation is to serve until death and death on the Cross (Cf. Philippians 2:5-11). We think of each one of us, part of the People of God: we are servants, our vacation is to serve, not to profit from our place in the Church: to serve – — always in service.

Let us ask for the grace to persevere in service. Sometimes with slips, falls, but at least the grace to weep as Peter wept.

The Pope ended the celebration with Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction, inviting the faithful to make a Spiritual Communion.

Here is the Prayer Recited by the Pope:

My Jesus, I believe You are really present in the Most Holy Sacrament of the altar. I love You above all things and I desire You in my soul. As I cannot receive You sacramentally now, come at least spiritually into my heart. As if You have already come, I embrace You and unite myself wholly to You. Do not permit me to be ever separated from You.

Before leaving the Chapel dedicated to the Holy Spirit, the ancient Marian antiphon Ave Regina Caelorum (Hail, Queen of Heaven”) was intoned:

Hail, Queen of Heaven, hail, Lady of the Angels, gate and root of salvation, bring light into the world. Delight, glorious Virgin, beautiful among all women; hail, O all holy One, pray for us to Christ the Lord.”

7th APRIL 2020 15:27POPE'S MORNING HOMILY

[spiritualdirections]

How to do an individual retreat

There are a lot of monasteries and convents in the Boston area, and so it’s not uncommon for people to just call them up, even on short notice, and ask to stay there for a few days whenever they can manage to get away. Usually that implies they are making individual retreats, rather than joining a previously scheduled group retreat. And usually, the hospitality of the monastery or convent doesn’t extend to providing a retreat director (especially on short notice). 

From time to time, people ask me for advice on how to make such a retreat. So here's one way to do a (mostly) silent, personal retreat:

1. Usually, you are able to attend the liturgy of the hours and Mass with the community, so do so--at least for the major hours. Some places get up in the middle of the night or extremely early for certain prayers, but that might be too tough an adjustment to make for your schedule for just a few days, so don’t worry about that. 

2. Plan on saying the rosary, at least the main part of the day. It’s often worthwhile to say the rosary walking around as a way to explore the grounds--often there are statues, shrines, rosary paths, and other aids to prayer tucked away in various spots.

3. Some people also will pray the Way of the Cross, at least once, especially if there is an outdoor Via Crucis. Some people pray this every day of the retreat.

4. The major work of the retreat, however is to try to do 4 holy hours each day. 1-2 in the morning, 1-2 after lunch, 1 after dinner. Some pointers:

It’s best to try to focus on God during that time, not so much on the things you usually obsess about. In particular, avoid anything that feels like criticism of anybody--if someone else’s defects come to mind in your time of prayer, it might be an invitation to pray for them, or be an opportunity pray about how to sacrifice yourself for them through certain mortifications. Perhaps there’s some constructive action you are supposed to do, in which case you should ask for the grace and courage to do it. But much more frequently, we are asked to perform the spiritual work of mercy of bearing with the faults of others. So ask for the grace to love those people with Jesus’ Sacred and Merciful Heart!

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray, as St. Paul tells us we can when we don’t know how to pray (Romans 8:26). And trust that, even if you feel dry during these holy hours, the Holy Spirit is praying anyway, just without us feeling anything. (He’s a spiritual Being, so he can be at work in us without our physical senses being alerted!) 

Persevere to the end of the time of prayer, but don’t worry whether you are doing it “correctly”--for people who have learned a little doctrine about contemplative prayer, perhaps the number one distraction they face is to try to compare their prayer experience with something they read about in a book, rather than just relating to God as one person to Another (and Another and Another).

Try to spend some time “listening” to God. Not in the sense of waiting for an audible message from the angel Gabriel, but in the sense that a person who is engaged in a dialogue with another person doesn’t talk constantly but also listens. 

Pray “about” things. Holy hours can involve all the types of prayer mentioned in the Catechism (adoration, petition, intercession, praise), and both stages of mental prayer (active meditation and more passive contemplation). Using these categories, lectio divina would be a form of active meditation on scripture for a time before one opens the soul to more contemplative adoration or praise. That same method can also inform topics of meditation other than scripture: reflecting on your marriage, on your family and friends, on your vocation, on someone who has died, on someone whose needs have come to your attention, on some theological idea, on some virtue you want to acquire or vice you wish to uproot, etc. Actively think about these topics for a time, and then just calm your mind and pay attention to Jesus for a while, being open to anything He has to reveal to you. And when the time feels right or when you’ve started going in circles, switch topics--open the Bible, or your spiritual notebook, or a spiritual book you’ve been rereading, and meditate on something else. It’s not uncommon to reset yourself 3 times in an hour.

Take the opportunity to review your spiritual notebook since your last retreat. What are some patterns or some constants? How have you kept your resolutions? Do you want to make the same resolutions again? 

Don’t be too “busy” during your holy hour. You’re not trying to move through an agenda. Hang out with Jesus!

5. Outside of the holy hours, you can read, exercise, nap.  The days will go buy faster than you might think. 

6. Bring a few different genres of spiritual book: the Bible of course, but also devotional books, a biography of a saint, the writing of a spiritual teacher, a work of theology even. It’s often a good idea to read at meals, which lends itself to something lighter (e.g., biographies). 

7. Consider spending more time in silence rather than less. Talk to others if they talk to you--don’t be rude or weird, and remember you haven’t taken a vow of silence. If you get invited to dinner with the monks or sisters, say yes. But otherwise, cultivate an exterior silence in order to promote an interior dialogue with God as much as possible. Turn off your phone most of the day, or put in on airplane mode if you use it for prayers. Don’t check your email. If you need to check in with your family, try to do it efficiently--you’re trying to retreat from all that, so try to maintain boundaries. Your problems will probably be there when you return.

8. At the end of the retreat, make 3-4 concrete resolutions that you think might help you make spiritual progress. Maybe it’s reading a biography of a saint to start the day rather than the news. Maybe it’s some mortification of an unnecessary habit (e.g., not checking your phone or social media simply out of curiosity). Maybe it’s to be expressively affectionate or patient with someone, say by smiling and making the effort to be pleasant even when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s to pray consistently at such and such time. Maybe it’s to practice the works of mercy regularly.

9. Self-care: be sure that you incorporate walking or some form of exercise each day. Especially on the first day, don’t be surprised if you need to take a nap--that’s to be expected when you are removing yourself from a stimulating environment to a prayerful one. You probably needed it. If that means you don’t “accomplish” something you wanted to, that’s okay--the retreat is for you, not you for the retreat. However, do try to go to bed early.

10. Dress in comfortable clothes that are appropriate for being in a chapel--business casual might be about right. Sometimes chapels are cold and highly air conditioned, so bring a light layer just in case. If it’s the sort of monastery where they invite the guests to work, bring appropriate work clothes. If you are the sort who goes running, err on the side of modesty (loose jackets and sweats), and don’t wear running clothes around the grounds or in the chapel.

11. Eat, but don’t overeat. Don’t be too picky about what they offer at meals--they can’t always accommodate special diets, or your favorite style of latte, or your preference for organic foods. 

12. Don’t be a perfectionist, or worry about how the religious think about you, or try to impress anybody with your demeanor. That’s just the devil’s way of using your vanity to mess with your retreat. Ask if you don’t know something. Everyone there is also trying to order their day towards God, so assume their good will!

Finally, when you are on the retreat, pray for me!

#prayer #silent retreat #retreats #monasticism #private retreats #holy hour

[babybluebex]

Wait For Me pt. 1

this one also disappeared, so have at it lads

 pt. 2

Every girl in our school knew Merriel. He was the smooth-talking Cajun boy with curly hair and a smirking smile, and he was the biggest player if I had ever met one. He was constantly flirting in his silky accent that, even though New Orleans was overrun with Cajuns, the girls found charming. I had to admit that I too was charmed by him, but not for the same reasons that everyone else was.

One day in sophomore year, my grammar teacher held me back after class and told me that there was a student that was struggling and would benefit from a little tutoring. I happily accepted, even though I figured that I couldn’t be much help. My mother always told me that I was an angel, willing to help people even if it didn’t help me.

I was sitting in the school library, lazily scanning our assigned reading, when I saw Merriel enter. I mentally scoffed at the sight of him, and my body tensed when he moved close to my table. Finally, he sat down without a word, and I felt those blue eyes scanning me. “You’re Rose, ain’t ya?” Merriel asked finally.

“Daisy,” I corrected him.

“Damn, yeah,” Merriel said. “Knew it was some type’a flower. I guess you’re my tutor, huh?”

“Seems that way,” I sighed. “What’cha need help with?”

“I ain’t getting none of this,” Merriel chuckled. “It ain’t a big deal or nothin’, but my daddy’s gonna skin me if I fail anotha class.”

“I’ll help ya keep your skin on,” I told him.

I kept my promise to him. We met once a week, sometimes at the library, sometimes at my house, and I would help him with the grammar work. He was truly a sweet fella and it was a shame that he had the playboy reputation, but I noticed something change around our last year of high school. We were the Martha Washington High School Class Of 1940, and everybody in our class had just about given up. Boys knew that they were gonna end up at their daddy’s car garages or other vocations, and the girls had already picked out who they would marry. We had our futures lined up for us, and I had the same. I was the only girl who had been accepted to go to college for something substantial and not just a beautician course; I was a computing major at Louisiana State University. Merriel assured me that he had a job lined up at the lumber yard a few miles outside of town, and our lives were perfectly aligned.

“Dai!” Merriel exclaimed as I tossed my bike at the top of the path that led to his house. He lived with his parents in the Bayou, and the July air was already bringing sweat to my hairline. He jumped down the porch steps and ran to me, and he picked me up and spun me around.

“Merriel!” I squealed. “What’s wrong?”

 “Ain’t nothin’ wrong!” Merriel cried. He gave me a few thick sheets of paper, and I only had to read the first line before I was as excited as he was.

“You got inta Tulane?” I gasped. “Merriel! Why didn’t ya tell me you were applying?”

“I didn’t think I’d get in,” Merriel grinned. “But... Wow, Dai! I’m a college-bound man now!”

“Congratulations,” I said and hugged him tightly. “I’m proud of ya. Ain’t everyday a knucklehead like you gets into Tulane.”

“Hey, ya helped me,” Merriel told me and ruffled up my hair. “Couldn’t’a done it without ya.”

I chuckled. “Good Lord, Merriel, ya flatter me,” I said. “I ain’t done nothin’ to help ya. I helped ya pass tenth grade English, that didn’t help ya get into college.”

“Helped me get inta this one!” Merriel grinned like a fool. I had seen him drunk and happy, but this was a different kind of happy. This was gleefully happy. “Thank ya, Dai.”

“Don’t mention it,” I told and playfully shoved him away. “Now, if your momma ain’t ‘round, I say we should go for a swim.”

Merriel agreed. He lived close to a pond that was always overrun with mosquitoes, but it had heavy tree coverage that kept it hidden from anyone. It was a perfect paradise, and Merriel had been taking me there to swim for years. He was the best friend that I could ever ask for, and he didn’t judge me when I was unladylike. I kicked off my little slipper shoes and carried them under my arm as Merriel and I raced through the Bayou's Spanish moss-adorned trees, batting it out of the way as we traversed the path that we knew so well. Merriel reached the water’s edge before me, which wasn’t a surprise because he had longer legs than I did and he also wasn’t wearing nylons (which were hard as hell to run in), and he began to undo his belt to swim. I stopped next to him and brushed stray hair off of my sweaty face, and I reached around behind me and undid my dress. We frequently went on cheeky swimming trips and had long grown comfortable in our underwear around each other, but my dress came off and my heart stopped. I wore a slip that day instead of a brassiere and knickers, and I slowly pulled off my nylons. Merriel was already knee-deep in the water, cupping it in his palms and splashing it onto his hair. “C’mon, Dai,” he said. “Water’s fine.”

“It ain’t that,” I said. “This is as far as I can go, and my momma’ll kill me if I get my slip wet.”

“I don’t care,” Merriel said and turned away from me. “I won’t look at ya. I’ll even get all undressed too, if ya’d like.”

 My hands shook as I pulled my slip dress off, and I slowly waded into the water. It felt good, especially against the bare skin of my stomach, and I crossed my arms over my chest as I moved further into the water. It wasn’t entirely clear and, once the water was at my shoulders, I felt comfortable with letting my arms drift away from my body. “Nobody can know ‘bout this,” I said softly. “Your daddy’ll have my head on his wall.”

“Nobody needs to know,” Merriel said, still facing away from me, and he quickly sank entirely underwater. I enjoyed the quiet buzz of cicadas for a moment before Merriel resurfaced and flung his wet boxers to the shore. He was still turned away from me, and he asked, “Does this make ya feel better?”

Affecting others was never something I did. I didn’t consider myself a looker, even though I had been told that I was, but a small piece of my heart always wished that Merriel would see something in me that others didn’t. I wished that he’d see past the glasses and conservative sweaters and see me, Daisy, the girl who liked riding her bike and drinking beer and playing darts. The fact that we were so bare, so close to each other made me feel sick, and I moved a few inches closer to him. “Mer?” I said softly. I started to reach out to him, but my fingers halted just above his tan and freckled shoulder. I sighed softly, and Merriel turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of me.

“Something wrong?” he asked and turned fully to see me, and his face softened. He had to see how nervous I was. He couldn’t be that blind. “Daisy.”

“Ya know how much trouble I’d get in if my momma knew ‘bout this?” I laughed lightly, but Merriel was stern and serious. Something had filled those blue eyes of his, and he seemed to hesitate before he reached out and took my hand. His skin was so warm and inviting, and I stepped closer to him.

“D’ya ever feel like...” Merriel began softly, and he gently rubbed the back of my hand with his calloused thumb.”Like ya know that what you’re doin’ is significant? Like ya know it’s supposed ta happen? In the moment, you realize it, and it’s... Overwhelming, almost?”

“No,” I said softly. “I mean, I do that retroactively, but neva in the moment. Why?”

“I just had one’a those moments,” Merriel said. “Where I know that this is supposed ta happen.”

“Like a premonition?” I asked.

“No,” Merriel whispered. “Jesus. I can’t put it inta words, but I know that I was supposed to see ya like this sooner or later.”

“Like this...?”

 Merriel took another step towards me, and his hands sank under the water to find my waist. “Just so damn pretty,” he said. “Not just pretty, though. You’re... Gorgeous, Daisy. Most gorgeous woman I done ever seen. I knew your face was pretty, but... I don’t know how to say it without it soundin’ skeevy, but I just--”

“Ya think I look pretty naked,” I giggled. “I mean, I understand. I’ve got great tits.”

“Daisy,” Merriel said softly. The seriousness was in full force, and he raised his eyes to my face. “I couldn’t eva tell ya ‘cause I was afraid that ya’d think I’m just a stupid dick that was comin’ onta ya, but graduation and everythang made me realize that I really don’t know what I’d do without ya. Ya’ve kept me whole for so long, and I neva wanna lose ya.”

“Ya ain’t gonna lose me, Mer,” I whispered. I swallowed back my tears and added, “Ya couldn’t get ridda me if ya tried.”

“I’ve had dreams ‘bout marrying ya,” Merriel told me. “One of those church deals, ya know, with the flowers and all. Havin’ kids with ya and everythang, havin’ a life with ya. I want that. And I know that dumpin’ all’a this on ya ain’t the best way to do this, and I understand if ya never wanna see me again, but--”

“Merriel, shut up,” I said firmly. I wasn’t mad at him, though. My heart was racing and my head was spinning, and I could barely control myself from falling into his arms. It was a surprise, but a welcome one. I drew in a shaky breath, and I whispered, “What d’ya want from me? A single night? A drink? Supper?”

“I was hopin’ for a lifetime,” Merriel said. “But I’ll take what ya give me.”

I began to laugh. “Merriel fuckin’ Shelton,” I said. “Are ya really proposin’ ta me now? But... We ain’t even been datin’.”

“We can do whatever ya want ta,” Merriel said. “I can’t let ya go ta college without at least lettin’ ya know how I feel.”

“I didn’t say that not datin’ was a problem,” I told him. “Merriel, if you’re really proposin’ ta me right now, promise me one thang.”

“Anythang,” Merriel said quickly.

“Promise me,” I began and laid my hands on his chest. “That you ain’t ever gonna name our daughter after a flower. It’s annoyin’ as hell to live with. Ya get people callin’ ya Rose and all kinds of bullshit.”

Merriel and I got out of the water soon after and redressed, but I wore his jacket over my shoulders. Our fingers were loosely intertwined as we ambled down the path that we had raced down, suddenly different people than the last time we ran down that path. We reached his house, and we lingered at the top of his path for a few seconds. “I’ll see ya tomorra at graduation, I guess,” Merriel chuckled. His hair had dried into untamed frizzy curls, and he scratched his head. “Umm, look in the pocket of my jacket. I got somethin’ for ya.”

I pushed my hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small golden ring. It obviously wasn’t expensive, but it had a tiny filigree around the gemstone that resembled flower petals. “A daisy,” I chuckled lightly. “You’re creative, I’ll give ya that. Put the ring on your fiancee, ya loser.”

“I’d disagree with that,” Merriel said cheekily with his signature smile. “I think I’m the winner, ‘cause I got the best girl eva.” He slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed my hand, and I tugged him close to me and kissed his forehead.

“I got the best fella eva,” I whispered. “Dream of me tonight, alright?”

“Are ya kiddin’ me?” Merriel chuckled. “I won’t be able ta get ya off my mind.” 

“Sleep well, Mer,” I said softly, and I righted my bike and threw my leg over it. 

“You too, Daisy,” Merriel said, and he kissed my cheek before I left.

My brother was in the den when I got home. I motioned for him to be quiet as I shut the door as slowly as I could, so as to not hit the deadbolt, but Frankie was a hell of a bastard. “Who’s jacket are ya wearin’, Dai?” he asked, and I sighed in frustration.

That brought my mother out of the kitchen. She studied me with her big brown eyes, and her features softened. “I’ve seen that Shelton boy wearin’ that jacket around,” she said. “Y’all meet up tonight?”

“Yeah, actually,” I said. I couldn’t contain my excitement. “Merriel... He proposed to me.”

“Oh, Daisy,” Momma gasped, and she rushed to hug me. “Oh, my little girl, gettin’ engaged and all. Ya did say yes, didn’t ya?”

“I did,” I chuckled. “We ain’t figured everythang out yet, but--”

Momma’s glee was bursting out of her. “My girl!” she laughed. “Goin’ to learn ta be a computer, gettin’ married, all’a that! I’m proud of ya, baby.”

“Thanks,” I whispered, and I felt my brother’s strong hand on my back. Frankie had been a rock for me for years, not going to college in favor of helping Momma run her restaurant. We didn’t have a father that either of us could remember ever meeting, but we didn’t need one. Just the three of us got along fine. We all worked at the diner whenever we had free time, Frankie picking up a few shifts as a janitor at a different diner and me tutoring younger kids in math and science. I didn’t get many tutoring options in those fields, mainly because I was mixed. I knew my daddy was from Puerto Rico, and I could barely see the pigment in me and my brother’s skin. That was why I was drawn to Merriel from the beginning; one of our first conversations as friends had him divulging how his family was Egyptian and people treated him differently for the way he looked.

“I’m happy for ya, Daisy,” Frankie told me. “Shelton’s gonna treat ya good. Or else.”

I giggled. “Like ya could hurt a fly, Frankie,” I said and turned to hug him. “I love y’all.”

Graduation went smoothly the next day. Momma met Merriel’s parents and gushed about the good things that she had heard about my betrothed, while his parents did the same. Merriel kept his arm wrapped around me the whole day, playing with the sleeve of my pretty floral dress. As he walked me home from a party that night, he stopped and plucked a bright white daisy from an embankment next to the river, and he slipped it behind my ear. We shared our first kiss under my porch light that night, and the moment that our lips met, I knew that I was in one of those moments that Merriel had asked me about. A sort of deja-vu for something that hadn’t happened yet. I knew what he meant.

Merriel made the uncouth decision to follow me to Baton Rouge. I was concerned about his hour-long commute for him to go to college, but he grasped my face and kissed me. “Nobody gonna hire me, Dai, even if I do got a degree,” he said. “Ya got potential, suga, so much more than I do. I want you to go get that computin’ degree and be the best damn computer that this country’s eva seen, because I know that ya can do it.”

We were settled in a small house by the time classes started, and I was shocked to find that I was the only woman in my computing classes. The other gentlemen gave me long stares as I sat in the front of the classroom, and finally the professor came in. He saw me, looked down at his role sheet, and said, “Young lady, I think you have the wrong classroom. The nursing school is in the next building.”

“Oh, no, sir, I’m sure I’ve got the right room,” I said with a smile. “I’m on your role sheet: D. Shelton?”

The professor looked at the sheet and back to me again. “D. Shelton,” he mumbled. “Well, Miss Shelton, I sure hope that you can keep up with the coursework.” By the end of the first term, I had the highest grade in the class. “Suck on that, old man,” Merriel grinned when he saw my grade report. “I got the prettiest damn computa this side of the Pacific.”

Life went on. We never got married because we could never find a time that felt right, but that didn’t stop us from being happy. For my birthday, Merriel surprised me with a kitten which we named Delilah, and Delilah became a little Daddy’s girl. She would always meow at Merriel during supper, and she’d only stop when he set her on her own chair so she could see us, and she insisted on sleeping on Merriel’s stomach every night. Watching Merriel take care of Delilah confirmed for me that he would be a great father, and I sat down next to the two of them one night. Merriel was reading the newspaper and smoking a cigarette as Delilah snoozed on his lap, and I said, “Mer, I wanna say somethin’ ta ya.”

“Fire away,” Merriel said, and he folded his newspaper up to give me his full attention.

I sighed. “I dunno how to say this lightly, but I guess I don’t have ta say it lightly,” I began. “Seeing you with Delilah’s got me thinkin’ ‘bout some things, and I... Hell, I dunno. I might, in the future, once I’ve got my degree... I might want kids. I dunno, though.”

“Really?” Merriel laughed. “I would love that, Dai.”

I chuckled in relief. “Good,” I said softly. “I was worried...”

“Worried ‘bout what?” Merriel asked. “That I wouldn’t want kids with ya? Daisy, I would love nothin’ more than ta have kids with ya.”

We agreed that it would be best to hold off on that until I was done with school, but that didn’t stop us from practicing. Merriel was a good lover, taking his time with me, and I loved every intimate moment that we had together. Merriel was perfect, and it seemed like absolutely nothing could go wrong.

Then, Merriel got The Letter. He was being called to duty. He had enlisted in the Marine Corps, per his father’s request, but specified that he would only leave me if there was a war. Momma remembered the first war and she said that nothing could ever be as horrible as that but, even though I had no idea what Merriel would be doing or where he would be going, I knew that this war was the worst thing for us. From the day we received the letter, he had two days before he had to report to go to training.I had been keeping a secret from him, one that I meant to surprise him with on Christmas, but we laid in bed together the night before he was to leave, and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “Mer?” I whispered.

“Yeah, suga?” he asked.

“I gotta tell ya something...”

#rami #rami malek #snafu #the pacific #fanfiction #fanfic #mine #this is also an example of me time

[pamphletstoinspire]

Mary Can Aid Us in Learning to Trust God

When we doubt, when the path is obscured and unclear, when we become unsure of the plan God has for our lives where should we turn? Who has walked the way of faith before us, trusting entirely in God’s will? The answer is Our Heavenly Mother. She lived her earthly life completely united to the will of God. She did not always know where He was taking her, but she trusted and surrendered herself to Him fully throughout her entire life. We are called to do the same.

In her humility and her charity, Mary surrendered herself fully over to God for His divine purposes. She trusted in His word and in so doing became the Mother of God. It was because of her faith in God that she was able to open herself up to Him and allow Him to accomplish great things through her. She believed in all that He promised.

Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalene, O.C.D states in Divine Intimacy:

Great things indeed were to be accomplished in Mary; and she had the great merit of believing in them. On the word of God as announced by the Angel, she believed that she would become a mother without losing her virginity; she, who was so humble, believed that she would be truly the Mother of God, and that the fruit of her womb would really be the Son of the Most High. She adhered with entire faith to all that had been revealed to her, accepting, without the least hesitation, a plan that would upset the whole natural order of things: a virgin mother; a creature, Mother of the Creator. She believed when the Angel spoke to her; she continued to believe even when the Angel left her alone and she found herself in the condition of an ordinary woman who knows that she is about to become a mother. “The Virgin,” St. Bernard says, “so little in her own eyes, was magnanimous in her faith in God’s promise! She, who considered herself nothing but a poor handmaid, never had the least doubt concerning her vocation to this incomprehensible mystery, to this marvelous exchange, to this inscrutable sacrament; she firmly believed that she would come the true Mother of the God-Man.

She gave herself fully over to God in faith and in so doing God raised her up as the Mother of the Son of God. Grace works in the same manner in our own lives. God is able to work within each one of us by the measure of our faith and our willingness to surrender to Him in love.

One of the greatest struggles for each one of us in our Fallen state is trusting in God. Our faith in the goodness God is working within each one of us can waver or falter, especially as we encounter afflictions in this life or tasks that we don’t understand. There are times when the path God is calling us to doesn’t make sense or we doubt because we lack faith in the face of the seemingly impossible. Perhaps what He is doing in us is different from what He is doing in everyone else around us, which makes us doubt. When we find ourselves in periods of desolation, the light of consolation can seem like an illusion or something of our own making. We struggle to remain faithful to what God revealed to us in prayer.

Even though Mary was conceived without sin, like us, she had to live in faith as she walked with her Son throughout His earthly life and as she stood at the foot of the Cross. She had to continue on in faith as she walked with the nascent Church after the Ascension of Her Son into Heaven. Fr. Gabriel states, “Mary lived by pure faith, trusting in God’s word even as we must. The divine mysteries which took place in her and around her remained habitually hidden under the veil of faith, assuming an outward appearance common to the various circumstances of ordinary life.” She wasn’t given all of the answers, instead she is the model par excellence of faith for all of us.

In moments of darkness, confusion, and uncertainty, we should turn to Our Heavenly Mother who shows us how to surrender ourselves fully to God in faith. She can show us how to believe in God’s working in our lives and how to open ourselves up to His divine will. He desires our sanctity and He will accomplish this work within us if we surrender fully to Him.

Fr. Gabriel again:

“The Blessed Virgin teaches us to believe in our vocation to sanctity, to divine intimacy. We did believe in it when God revealed it to us in the brightness of interior light, and the words of His minister confirmed it; but we should also believe in it when we find ourselves alone, in darkness, amid difficulties that tend to disturb and discourage us. God is faithful, and He does not do things by halves: He will finish His work in us, provided we have complete confidence in Him.”

The soul that has entrusted itself entirely to God in faith finds peace and stillness. Our Heavenly Mother did not understand everything taking place, but she “pondered all these things in her heart”. She took everything to prayer and kept them close to her Immaculate Heart. In doing so, she allowed God to unfold His plan for her life through His divine plan in His time.

We often want to rush forward of where God wants us to be in a given moment. In doing so, we quickly realize that while He may show us where He is taking us little-by-little, we are not ready for the end result at this point in our lives. We must undergo the process of sanctification in order to be ready for what God is asking of us. We must learn how to love as He loves and how to follow His ways over our own ways.

The path to holiness is a process. There are periods of purification we must undergo in order to be more fruitful and in order for God to work in us and the people around us in certain ways. If we push ahead, we often can impede our own growth or temporarily damage areas where God is working in us and in the people around us. This can bring our spiritual progress to a grinding halt as we seek answers God is not ready to give to us and that we are not ready for. We can become uncertain, anxious, and confused as we seek answers to questions of how God is working in our lives. We have to learn to become comfortable with not knowing “why” in the spiritual life. Fr. Gabriel explains:

Sometimes in our spiritual life, we come to a halt because we insist on understanding and searching into God’s plans for our soul. A faithful soul, on the other hand, does not linger to inquire about God’s actions; even though not fully understanding them, it believes, following blindly, if necessary, the manifestations of the divine will. This is pleasing to God who does not ask us to understand, but only to believe with all our strength.

When God asks something of Mary, she does not inquire as to why He is doing something in her life. She submits in humble obedience, faith, and deep charity. She “ponders”, but in the way of prayer and trust. She then “makes haste” to serve those around her and to be about the work of God in her life. We are called to do the same. When we do not understand what God is doing with us, we are called to “ponder” in prayer, but to then surrender ourselves fully to God in faith. We must allow ourselves to be led by Him.

Let us turn to Our Heavenly Mother for aid in trusting fully in God and His plans for our lives.

BY: CONSTANCE T. HULL

From: https://www.pamphletstoinspire.com/

#Mary can aid us in learning to trust God

[that-devout-catholic-woman]

Hey uh, I’m a catholic 16 year old who is deeply afraid my church will hate me if they knew I was gay, and seeing your prayer posts and the posts about loving gay people in the church made me cry. Thank you.

Hello there, anon! Please know you are seen and known and very loved both on this blog and more importantly by God Himself. This is a safe place to talk and you are always welcome to send me asks or messages as you feel comfortable to discuss these topics as well as anything else that you may be going through. I have a lot to say on this topic so please bear with me, and I know it’s long but I have a lot of really great resources about halfway through so please read to the end if this affects you or those you know and love.

My heart really goes out to you, anon, because that’s kind of the situation I myself am in also. I’m bi and not really out besides on this blog and to a small handful of close friends. People in the Church make it very hard to come out, and I don’t think sometimes they even really recognize that they’re doing it. That being said, being bi makes it a little easier for me to be straight-passing, especially since being a devout Catholic I only date men so I don’t raise as many eyebrows this way. I don’t know the specifics of your sexuality but I know that if you are higher on the Kinsey Scale that it is probably a little harder to remain under everyone’s radar so to speak. 

It is my personal belief and that of many others within the Church that it is not having the same-sex attraction (SSA) that is problematic/sinful but the choices some of us in the community make with regards to that which is problematic/sinful. However, there are those Christians who take the complete opposite stance, one of rejection rather than love and inclusion, within our churches. I know how hard it can be to allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable with regards to this topic when the fear of rejection and retaliation, and even abuse and violence, are possibilities. My hope is that we can spread enough love and awareness and promote the Golden Rule in our churches to the point where everyone will be welcome. Oftentimes it is those people that the Church rejects that need Her the most. Those who have SSA are part of this group. But the Catholic Church (I’m not sure about the other denominations) is attempting to overcome this issue and in fact has a section about it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC): 

“The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.”

There are a couple things I recommend you take a look at when you have a free moment. One is a video by Ascension Presents called “Homosexuality, Gay Marriage, and Holiness” which can be found here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLrRfwpvERU&list=PLeXS0cAkuTPrHPAveZQtnRXDoINjqovfc&index=3

The second is a conversation on Relevant Radio (a Catholic talk show on the radio across the country, they also have a website and app where you can stream it for free–I highly recommend to everyone) where Father Mike Schmitz was a guest on the Drew Mariani show and talked about those with SSA and their role in the Church as well as the Church’s role in accepting those with SSA. The article discussing the highlights of the conversation can be found here:

https://relevantradio.com/2018/02/sex-attraction-catholic-church/?highlight=gay 

while the actual conversation itself can be found here: 

https://relevantradio.com/2018/01/drew-mariani-show-jan-30-hour-2-2/

One thing that we with SSA have to ask ourselves is “Now what?” Now that I, a Christian, know and have accepted that I have SSA, what do I do? Usually there’s a dichotomy in people’s minds that I can only be closeted or out and living a gay lifestyle. But there’s a third, middle-of-the-road option. You can follow Church teaching while avoiding the occasions of sin that come along with being gay. This means abstaining from sex with those of the same sex, avoiding marriage outside of a Christian marriage, and avoiding dating those of the same sex as well. If you are bi like me, you can still be called to the vocation of marriage so long as you date and marry as God intended. Otherwise, you still have access to the vocations of the priesthood (if you are a man), religious life, or consecrated singlehood.

It’s not easy to be a Christian and have SSA. It’s not always easy to follow the rules. But it’s also not easy to be a Christian and be a fallen human being in general. It’s not always easy to follow the rules then either. And sometimes we may fall in our attempt to be Holy and follow what God wants us to do, but we just have to pick ourselves back up and ask God for another chance, which looks like going to confession and asking for God’s forgiveness. 

It’s not easy to be a Christian and have SSA, but I know that my life would be so much worse off if I did not have God leading me through it. It would be easier to just live a hedonistic lifestyle and do whatever I wanted, but there’d still be a void that I could not fill, a God-sized and -shaped hole that only He can alleviate. So no it’s not easy. But it’s what’s right, and at the end of the day, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my relationship with God going strong because that’s the only source of undying unconditional love that any of us can receive.

My hope and my prayer for you, anon, and anyone else who may be reading this that has SSA, is that you find the path that God is calling you to. That you will always find love and acceptance within the Church. And that you may have the strength, courage, and dedication to follow God’s law even when temptation comes. May you always have the power to stand up for what is right, even if most of the world disagrees with you. And may God watch over you and be merciful towards you all the days of your life, until you get to meet Him face to face on the last day.

God bless you, anon, and please know you are welcome on my blog anytime.

-C

#ask Courtney things #anon ask #anonymous #SSA #same-sex attraction #gay #biseuxal #LQBTQIA #LGBTQ #Catholic #Christian #church #God #Father Mike Scmitz #Relevant Radio #Ascension Presents #love #acceptance #vocation #sin #marriage #priesthood #religious life #consecrated singlehood #confession #reconciliation #sacraments #LGBT

[angeltreasure]

Hello Sister, this account is very beautiful and helpful. If it’s ok to ask, how did God speak to you and tell you what you should be. I have been praying for years for that answer. But during that time I have backslided, skipped praying, and reading the Holy Bible. I’m not proud about that. Since school is opening soon, and I am finished my secondary education, I need to know what God wants be to be, I read online that people said God allows us that choice. But a popular preacher named Derek Prince said that even the smallest decisions, like which way crossing the road , we should ask God. I feel so hopeless please pray for me, and if God speaks to you please tell me, I am listening

Hello there!,

Aww thank you. Don’t worry you can ask me anything. I went through a very similar path to you. Despite being a cradle Catholic, there were certain times in my life where I sprayed from taking it seriously too. I went for many years without reading the Bible and just relied on hearing readings from Mass. it wasn’t until I hot real low points I realized I couldn’t rely on myself. I think vocation is easy for some to realize but not so easy for others. It seems some people have it so easy and find the love of their life to marry, start a family, etc. The rest of us don’t know our true vocation until a later time. It is correct that God gave us free will to choose, because we can’t be forced into marriage or religious life, etc. Sometimes God calls us to a certain vocation when we “hear” His voice. Not a voice like speaking but one on your heart. A vocation is what we yearn in our heart. Keep in mind forever that God does not value one vocation more important than another. God will love you the same no matter what vocation you pick.

I thought of religious life about three times. -Once at 13, because I was inspired by the nuns who took care of one of my grandmas.

-Once at 26. I felt it was the best fit for me. I started researching many convents and narrowing things down.

-And lastly, at 28. I narrowed my interests down to two religious orders. I was very drawn to the Divine Mercy and Eucharistic Adoration and the Rosary.

Last year I came to a fork in the road about either joining religious life or moving our West with one set of parents. I knew being in debt and not being in the best health would not get me accepted into where I wanted to be. I chose to move our West to help that set of parents instead. I have, however, since this time, joined four different groups that allow lay persons to join (they are listed in my blog description). I have never had any luck with love unlike many girls from my age group in schools and jobs that I’ve met. I feel it won’t happen anytime soon, but I also see the many consequences of destroyed relationships. I am turning my interests of prayer, the Divine Mercy, and Eucharistic Adoration into a new way going forward to spread the Word of God- creating this blog is part of that.

Every decision we make, no matter how small, can affect the universe. That’s why it’s important to avoid sin as best you can and if you have sinned, go to confession right away. Don’t worry about the how or when your vocation will come. I worried for a long time but it was during this time of being restless, I learned to place my trust in God more and more. I encourage you to research online about vocations. It won’t cost you a thing to research. Take all the time you need and don’t jump into one right away without giving it thought. Sometimes we need to try a bit of a certain vocation by spending time with those who are in it. Ask them questions and see what your heart is drawn to best.

I will pray for you! May the Holy Spirit guide your heart to the best path. May God bless you.

#asks

[mezhane]

JUST MARRIED (...kinda)

arranged marriage AU , Mafia AU , AMBW , Fluff, a little angst later on and smut probably, if I’m not too shy to post it . 

                                                       PART 1

(I sighed as I stared blankly at my paper. School was now over and I was going to be on a summer break . I was officially going to graduate and  enjoy these fully deserved two month holidays . But for some reason, something was off ... maybe it was because I was officially done with school , therefore officially becoming an adult ? I wasn't really sure  , but I had weird feeling about it- )

"Mina ! What are you doing ?!"( I heard whispering behind me . ) (That's my best friend, Marina. The only person I trust with my life to be honest . As far as I can remember, we've always been together so when it came to chosing our vocation after high school, it was pretty obvious that we would apply for the same universities . Being in different majors -mine being English and hers being history- we wouldn't be able to see eachother all the time . But we still shared a couple classes together , better than nothing . I looked at her and smiled then shook my head . I didn't want to talk about this with her now . She's the kind of girl that worries too much, especially when it comes to me . And that's the last thing I want .)

  "Sorry babe, I was just daydreaming , you ready to go ? " "Yeah , I'm done "

(We grabbed our things and gave our final exam papers to the teacher then left the room. School was finally over . )

"Mina babe, I can't believe we're done with school ! " " I know , love , I know ..." "Something wrong ? You know you can tell me anything !" " Yeah , I know but don't worry . It's nothing really . I was  just thinking about what was I gonna do this summer so that  it's not boring " " Uuuh excuse me ! It's what ARE WE going to do this summer " " Yeah right , what ARE WE going to do this summer" She always knows how to make me laugh. (As we were walking , we talked about everything . Having someone that you can talk to and laugh about everything with is trully a blessing . I'm forever thankful for the day our paths crossed . We finally arrived at her house and I hugged her goodbye . She insisted that I come in and eat something with her , but I declined. Too distracted by that weird feeling inside of me . Five minutes later, I arrived home .)

  "I'M HOME !!" (I shouted with the most cheerful voice possible . ) "Mina , baby , is that you ?" " Yes dad ! " (I ran over to the living room to find him sitting on the couch . I kissed him on the forehead and sat next to him)  "How was school ? Happy to be done with it ? "     " Well it feels weird, but I can't wait to actually do something with my life . " " Yeah speaking about that, uh ... " (He straightened himself back in the couch and turned the TV volume down . Uh-oh . Now I know where this weird feeling was coming from . )

"Mina sweetie,  you know I only want the best for you, right ?" (I didn't answered this, but just smiled softly.) "Now, you've seen this happening to a lot of women in this family , so I hope you won't be shocked by what I'm about to say...  You see, we've been talking about this with your mother and we think that it's the right time for you to get married . You're a young respectable women and we think that a marriage is the best thing that can happen to you ."

(Fuck. I didn't see this one coming for sure ! Actually, no , I did. But I never thought it was going to be anytime soon ! I mean , my sister, my cousins they were all much older than me when they had their marriage arranged ! Something was wrong, yes , something was definitely off, and I had to find out . )

"Mina? Baby? Are you listening ? Did I upset you ? " "No dad, don't worry it's fine, I'm just a little surprised , None of the woman of this family were that young when they got married , so it's a little confusing. "( I said carefully, not wanting to make him mad, but also wanting to draw the information out of him. )

(He sighed and took his glasses of . )

"I know that baby, but I got this really nice opportunity for you , and I think you will be very happy with this person ." "Really ? Who is it ? Do I know him ?"( I sounded a little bit too excited about this to be honest . ) " I won't tell you unless you tell me if you want this or not . So do you ? "

(The room was painfully silent . I was looking at my dad with a mixture of fear and confusion which he probably sensed since he took my hand in his . )

"Do you want to think about this overnight ? You can give me your answer in the morning if you want ." "Yes , I would love that , thanks dad " "No problem baby, I love you , ok ? " "I love you to dad " (I kissed his hand and went up to my room . On my way up the stairs, I came back to look at my dad again .)

  "Papa ?" (He loves when I call him that. It reminds him of his childhood back in Africa . )

"Hm , sweetheart ? " "That man, he's not a fifty year old uncle , right ? "   (He laughed loudly and then wiped his tears . I smiled widly. Seeing my dad laugh always made my heart feel lighter . )

"No my love, I promise he's not . He's older than you though, but I will never give  my beautiful younger daughter to a man that could be your dad . Trust me . " (I sighed in relief. Thank God my dad was so considerate . )

"Ok Papa, I'll just be in my room, call me when dinner is ready ! " (And with that , I ran up to my room . Obviously, as you may guess, my first reflex was to text my bestfriend. "Soooo... My dad wants to arrange my marriage, like, now"  .Sent . Read... Incoming Call : Marina Babe .)

"Hey babe what's up ? " "Bitch don't 'hey babe what's up' me , what the fuck was that text about ? " "Calm down , I didn't say yes ... Yet !" "Are you going to say yes ? " (I've never felt so much worry in her voice .)

" I don't know, my dad said he could make me really happy, apparently he's the golden opportunity that I don't want to miss." ( I said as I was almost trying to convince her ... Why am I sounding like I want to convince her ?!)

  "Ok but, what if he's a 50 year old uncle ? "  (I laughed loudly at her cuteness. We really are the same aren't we ?)  "He's not . My dad promised me he wasn't . But he still is older than me . " "Alright , when do you have to give your answer ? " "Tomorow, I have to think this overnight ." (At this point, I was chewing on my bottom lip franatically . )

"Well, take your time to really think this through, you know I will support you no matter what ... I love you a lot , ok ? " " I love you more sunshine, bye " "Bye baby"

(And with that, she hung up. I crashed onto my bed and stared at the ceiling . Me , Mina , being married . I cringed awkwardly at the idea of me being a wife, having a new home, being part of a new family . But maybe that wasn't a bad idea, maybe it really was for the better . And if I believe all those things my dad says about this man, maybe I really wouldn't want to miss this golden opportunity . But what if he's actually not that great in real life ? What if he's a total old school conservative macho man that doesn't allow me to go out and or take any decision without consulting him ? And what if I say 'no' without learning about him and the next guy my dad presents to me is actually a old school conservative macho piece of shit ? I rubbed my temples as I was trying to find a solution . By this time, it was already time to eat and my mom had shouted at me to come and eat . I sat at the table, in front of my older brother , Sam . The room was very silent, apart from the noises of spoons and nifes clashing on the porcelain paltes . My brother decided to lighten up the mood a little bit . )

"So ! Mimi" ( I hate this nickname.)  "I heard that you were gonna get married ! Congrats little sis ! God bless the man who's gonna deal with your crazy ass for the rest of his life-" " Uh actually, I didn't give an answer , so you can keep, your blessings for now and focus on why you're twenty nine and still not married , thank you very much ." (I almost shouted, fake smiling.)

"UH AcTUaLlY, it's time for you to realise that I will be the one taking over dad's position so I have  bigger worries to me right now than finding a wife, I don't want want one , thank you very much ."  (He replied mimicking my tone . I hate him so much sometimes ...)

"More like you can't get one cause you're an ugly piece of sh-" "Mina I swear to God I will fight you !" "Matthew say something !!"  (My mom was screaming at my dad, her hands above her head. )

"Stop it you two !!! Are you still little kids ?  (My dad's face was stern, but his voice resembled more amusement rather than actual lecturing .)  "C'mon , apologise to eachother ! Quick !

(Me and my brother looked at  eachother, then he sighed deeply and closed his eyes .)

"I'm sorry sis, I didn't want to upset you" (I hummed as my frown disapeared . I don't know why but it was always hard for me to say that I was sorry . ) 

"Well ? Mina ? " (My mom spat with an awfully threatening voice .) "I'm sorry too, Samy, I shouldn't have insulted you ."   (He smiled at me and I smiled back , not being able to actually be mad at him for more than a couple minutes . Yep, that's how close we are). "You two finish your dinner and go to your rooms after that, your mom and I we need to talk . "  (Now, that's the serious dad tone I'm more used to.) 

(As established earlier , we finished eating then my brother and I went up . As we were walking to our respective rooms, I felt my brother look at me .) 

"What ? What's that look for ? "( I could feel myself frowning.) 

"Nothing ... So, are you gonna say yes ? " (He suddenly had worry in his eyes .)  "I don't know ... I've never seen the guy, What if I don't like him ? I need to find a way to learn about him before actually getting married ... " " Hmm... And have you found a way ?" " No, not yet ... Help me ?" ( I pouted . He can never resist my cute face.Never. ) "Ok, how about this , you agree to meet him, and in exchange, you ask for a couple of dates to learn about him then give your final decision ?" (That's why I love him !)

"Oh my God Samy ! Of course !! Yes, I'll do that !!! Thank you ! "  (However, my joy faded away quickly.)  "But still Samy, what if he doesn't like me ..." "He'll like you baby, trust me. And you'll like him too .  ( He was smirking... What is he hiding from me ? ) "How can you be so sure about it ? Do you know the guy ? " (I tried to sound as threatening as possible . )

"Of course I do, I even gave my approval to him !  "

(Oh, that sneaky bastard ...) 

"What ?! Hold o- " "As a matter of fact, you know him too !" "Huh ?! Samy wait !" "Goodnight !"

(He closed his room door at my face . He knew ! All this time , he knew and he  didn't say anything and let me worry to death about it ! I laughed and got into my room . As I brushed my teeth, a lot of thoughts came through my mind . Maybe I should give this a shot ? And if my brother gave his approval, he couldn't be that bad could he ? Yeah, I should stop worrying about it and just go for it . I shouldn't be a punk about it . I can do this ...)  

(I mean , I'm also part of the "Ide oju" gang, right ? ) 

Alright so , uh I did  this, editing is shit and I’m not sure how this is gonna turn ou but I guess I like it  ... Will try post part 2 tomorow . K bye . x  ( Also Marina if you read this , don’t beat my ass for not changing your name , love u  ) 

#fanfic #fanfiction #kpop #kpopshit #exo #exo k #exo m #exo fanfiction #exo l

[southwarkcofe]

Using our talents and gifts for God’s Glory

Sophia Jones, Director of Communications at the Diocese of Southwark writes...

When I was very young I wanted to be a doctor. I’m not really sure why, but it’s a distant memory now. The fact that I wasn’t very academic when it came to the Sciences or Maths pointed me in a different direction. As a child and teenager, I was always writing, whether it was short stories or daily logs in my fluffy pink (padlocked) diary. I didn’t know then that God was developing talents and gifts in me for my future. I am grateful to my parents and the people who have crossed my path who have nurtured and encouraged these gifts in me. As a mother, I could see that all my children possessed very different gifts at young ages. Now that they are adults, they too have started to use them in various ways.

Working in Communications for the Diocese of Southwark these past eight months has been a roller- coaster of a journey. I thought I knew the CofE well, but, of course, I didn’t. I only knew it as a parishioner. It’s been a steep and challenging learning curve. Yet, I am enjoying the journey because I know I’m where God wants me to be. Despite being in lock down for a lot of my time here, I have met (mostly virtually) many wonderful people from across the Diocese who are using the gifts and talents God has given them to make a difference in their parishes and communities. They have inspired me, made me laugh, and sometimes cry as I’ve been so moved by their stories.  As a team, we are privileged to share their stories widely through the various Diocesan platforms and more widely to the media.

As people of God, how do we know what our gifts and talents are? Once we do know, how can we use them to serve him for the Kingdom? How do we differentiate between spiritual gifts God has given us and the talents we possess? Or, are they one and the same?  I believe that through prayer, discernment and reflection, the Lord will show us and guide us. Most of us are called by God to use our gifts and talents exactly where we are, right now in our day-to-day lives. Others are called to ministry. I attended two services at the Cathedral recently, a couple of weeks apart. One was the ordination service of people becoming Deacons in the Diocese, and the other was a celebration service for the Southwark Pastoral Auxiliaries (SPAs). I found both services uplifting and moving. The Deacons on the threshold of ministry, made vows committing their lives to the priesthood.  At the SPA celebration, prayers were said for retiring SPAs, who had dedicated many years to this ministry. Prayers were also said for those who had died and those at the start of their ministries. Both groups, the Deacons and SPAs, have responded to God’s call to serve him. They come from all walks of life and bring hugely varying life experiences with a mosaic of gifts, contributing, in different ways, to the needs of the communities around them. Perhaps God is calling you to Ordination or Lay Ministry. Or maybe you have been thinking about taking the Bishop’s Certificate. If He is, why not consider pursuing this further with either our Vocations Team or Lay Ministry team? Find out more here.

Let’s be bold in using our gifts in whatever way the Lord has called us to. Be encouraged by these words from 1 Peter 4 vs 10 and 11:  

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:  whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen”

[thewahookid]

God created you and me for a purpose. Our destiny is not based on our talents, skills, abilities, gifts, education, wealth or health, though these may be useful. God’s plan for our lives is based on God’s grace and our response to him. All that we have is a gift from God. What we are is a gift back to him.  

Ephesians 1:12 states that “we who first hoped in Christ have been destined and appointed to live for the praise of his glory.” God’s plan is that our lives bring him glory. He has chosen us, in love, to be a living reflection of him. Part of our response to him is our vocation, a particular way of service that allows us to grow in holiness and become more like him.

Saint Josemaría Escrivá frequently took questions from the audience following a conference. When asked about someone’s vocation, Saint Josemaría would inquire if the person was married. If so, he requested the name of the spouse. His response would then be something like, “Gabriel, you have a divine vocation and it has a name: Sarah.”  

The vocation of marriage is not a general call but a particular call to marriage with a specific person. The spouse becomes an integral part of the other’s path to holiness.  

Sometimes people have a limited understanding of vocation, using the term only for people called to the priesthood or religious life. But God calls us all to holiness, and the path to that holiness includes a particular vocation. For some the path is single or consecrated life; for many more it is marriage.  

In marriage there are many opportunities every single day to deny ourselves, to take up our cross and follow the Lord in holiness. God does not overlook married people! I have had days when dinner is late, a child is cranky, the phone rings and rings, and Scott’s late getting home. My mind can drift to a scene of nuns praying peacefully in the convent, waiting for the dinner bell to ring. Oh, to be a nun for a day!  

I am overwhelmed, caught up in how challenging my vocation is. Then I realize that it is no more challenging than any other vocation. It is just more challenging for me, because this is God’s call on my life. (Numerous nuns have since reassured me that convents are not always the peaceful bliss I picture.)  

Marriage to Scott is how God refines me and calls me to holiness; marriage to me is how God refines Scott. We have told our children, “You can pursue any vocation—consecrated, single or married; we will support you in any call. But what is nonnegotiable is that you know the Lord, love him and serve him with your whole heart.”  

Once two seminarians were visiting, and one of our children waddled through the room with a very full diaper—the odor was unmistakable. One seminarian turned to the other and jokingly said, “I’m sure glad I’m called to the priesthood!”  

I immediately shot back (with a smile), “Just be sure you don’t choose one vocation to avoid the challenges of the other.”  

That bit of wisdom applies both ways: One should not choose the vocation of marriage to avoid the challenges of consecrated single life, nor consecrated life to avoid the challenges of marriage. God made each of us for a particular vocation, and there will be great joy in doing what we were made to do. God’s call will never be a vocation we do not want.  

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[pope-francis-quotes]

11th March >> Pope Francis’ Remarks to Rome’s Community of Sant’Egidio (Full Text) ~ ‘Prayer, poor and peace: this is the talent of the Community, which has matured over fifty years.’ (Photo ~ Pope Francis © Vatican Media) Pope Francis on March 11, 2018, visited Rome’s Community of Sant’Egidio to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the charitable lay association. Zenit published an exclusive interview in the days before the announcement with the president of the community, Marco Impagliazzo. Below is the Vatican-provided full text of his remarks at the event. *** Dear friends, Thank you for your welcome! I am happy to be here with you for the fiftieth anniversary of the Community of Sant’Egidio. From this square, in front of the basilica of Santa Maria in Trastevere, the heart of your evening prayer, I wish to embrace all your communities scattered around the world. I greet you all, particularly Professor Andrea Riccardi, whose inspired intuition initiated this path, and President Professor Marco Impagliazzo, for his words of welcome. You did not wish to make this day a mere celebration of the past, but rather and above all a joyful expression of responsibility for the future. This calls to mind the evangelical parable of the talents, which tells of a man who “going on a journey, summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them” (Mt 25,14). To each of you, too, whichever your age may be, is given at least one talent. On this talent is inscribed the charisma of this community, which I synthesized with these words when I came here in 2014: prayer, poor and peace. And I added: “As you walk this path, you help compassion grow in the heart of society — which is the true revolution, that of compassion and tenderness — to cultivate friendship in place of the ghosts of animosity and indifference” (Meeting with the Community of Sant’Egidio, 15th June 2014: Teachings II, 1 [2014], 731). Prayer, poor and peace: this is the talent of the Community, which has matured over fifty years. You joyfully receive it anew today. In the parable, however, one of the slaves hid the talent in a hole in the ground, and justified himself in these terms: “I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground” (v. 25). This man was unable to invest the talent in the future, because he allowed himself to be counseled by fear. The world today is often inhabited by fear. It is an ancient disease: the call not to be afraid often recurs in the Bible. Our time experiences great fear as it faces the vast dimensions of globalization. And fear often turns against people who are foreign, different, poor, as if they were enemies. So then we defend ourselves from these people, and we believe we are preserving what we have and what we are. The atmosphere of fear can infect also those Christians who hide the gift they have received, like the slave in the parable: they do not invest it in the future, they do not share it with others, they preserve it for themselves. When we are alone, we are easily the victims of fear. But your path directs you to look at the future together: not alone, not by yourselves. Together with the Church. You have benefited from the great impulse to community life and to being people of God that came from the 2nd Vatican Council, which stated: “God, however, does not make men holy and save them merely as individuals, without bond or link between one another. Rather has it pleased Him to bring men together as one people” (Dogm. Const. Lumen gentium, 9). Your Community, born at the end of the Sixties, is a daughter of the Council, of its message and of its spirit. The future of the world seems uncertain. Look at how many open wars there are! I am aware that you pray and work for peace. Let us think of the sorrows of the Syrian people, whose refugees you have welcomed in Europe through the “humanitarian corridors”. How is it possible, after the tragedies of the twentieth century, to fall back into the same foolish scheme? But the Word of the Lord is light in the darkness, and it gives hope for peace; it helps us not to be afraid even in front of the power of evil. On this stage, you have written the words of the Psalm: “Your word is lamp to my feet, and a light to my path” (119,105). We have celebrated the coming of the Word of God among us. With this same spirit, you have welcomed what I proposed to every community at the end of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy (cf Ap. Lett. Misericordia et misera, 7). The Word of God has protected you in the past from the temptations of ideology, and today it delivers you from the intimidation of fear. For this reason, I exhort you to love the Bible and spend increasingly more time it. Everyone shall find in it the source of mercy for the poor, and for those who are wounded by life and war. The Word of God is the lamp we look at the future with, even the future of this Community. In his light, we can read the signs of the times. The blessed Paul VI said: “in our eyes, the world is made into a book” (General Audience, 16th April 1969: Teachings VII, 1969, 919). A book to read with the eyes and heart of God. This is the spirituality that springs from the Council, which teaches profound and attentive compassion for the world. Since your Community was born, the world has become “global”: economy and communications have, so to speak, “unified”. But for many people, especially the poor, new walls have been lifted. Diversity is an occasion for animosity and conflict; a globalization of solidarity and of the spirit still awaits to be built. The future of the global world is living together: this ideal calls for the commitment to build bridges, to keep dialogue open, to continue and meet with one another. It is not only a political or organizational issue. Everyone is called to change his or her heart, acquiring merciful eyes to look at the others, turning into artisans of peace and prophets of mercy. The Samaritan of the parable took care of the half-dead man on the road, because “when he saw him, he was moved with pity” (Lk 10,33). The Samaritan had no specific responsibility towards that wounded man, and he was a foreigner. But he behaved like a brother because his eyes were merciful. Christians, by their very vocation, are brothers and sisters to every person, especially the poor, even though a person may be their enemy. Never say “I have nothing to do with this”. Merciful eyes commit us to living the creative audaciousness of love, and there is so much need of it! We are everyone’s brothers and sisters, and for this reason, we are prophets of a new world; and the Church is a sign of the unity of the human race, among nations, families, and cultures. I wish this anniversary to be a Christian anniversary: not a time to assess results or difficulties; not a time of balances, but a time when our faith is challenged to turn into a new audaciousness for the Gospel. Audaciousness is not the courage of a day, it is the patience of a daily mission in the city and in the world. A mission to patiently weave together again the human fabric of the peripheries that violence and impoverishment have torn apart; a mission to communicate the Gospel through personal friendship; to show how life truly becomes human when it is lived beside the poor; a mission to create a society that considers no one a foreigner. It is the mission to cross borders and walls, to join together. Today, more than ever, carry on audaciously on this path. Carry on standing at the side of the children of the peripheries, with the Schools of Peace that I have visited; carry on being at the side of the elderly: sometimes they are discarded, but to you they are friends. Carry on opening new humanitarian corridors for the refugees of war and hunger. The poor are your treasure! The apostle Paul writes: “So let no one boast about human leaders. For all things are yours […] and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God” (1 Cor 3, 21.23). You belong to Christ! It is the sense that is found in the depths of your history to this day, but above all, it is the key to face the future. Always belong to Christ in prayer, in caring for his little brothers and sisters, in seeking peace, for He is our peace. He will walk with you, he will protect you and guide you! I pray for you, and you pray for me. Thank you. [00399-EN.01] [Original text: Italian – working translation] © Libreria Editrice Vatican.