#also not to sound like a horrible person

[angelkunimi]

what does a girl have to do to be able to make pretty art

#i just can’t ever seem to draw the anime guys hot #like copying an artist’s style i can do that easy peasy #but if i try to do something myself #so ugly #angel love notes <3 #also not to sound like a horrible person #but i’m going out with my friends for dinner tomorrow #and i’m lowkey dreading it #bc ik one of them who i haven’t seen in a while is just gonna talk about her gf nonstop #bc that’s what she does all the time on the gc too #and also i’m lonely and single so i don’t want to hear it #but also it gets tiring to just only hear about a person’s spouse

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

one of my major problems with my job is that I get sososo tired of trying to figure out how to interact with people in a way that is honest, productive, but also doesn't bruise anyone's egos, and I can feel myself getting worse at it as time goes on and it's genuinely what drains me and stresses me out the most by far

#thoughts #personal #I am sooooo wary of being banished back into the Bitch Corner #part of me feels like it's inevitable (and probably some neuroatypical behavior honestly) #that the longer the collaboration goes on and the more I feel defeated in advance at the notion that these people will end up hating me #but trying to pull out before this actually happens will lead to people not understanding why I'm backing away #and also hurt my reputation in a way #tired tired tired #not to go all sjw on tumblr dot com (the audacity!!) but #wonder how less of a problem that would be for me if not woman-adjacent in games #I mean don't get me wrong I would be a Horrible Person if I had received amab socialization I have zero doubts about that #but #yeah like a lot of the time the reason why I get shoved into the Bitch Corner is because I reacted to bullshit I did not start #but the way I react becomes more important than what I was reacting to (I have Very Bad examples of that in mind) #I've been called a living shotgun recently in a way that wasn't entirely derogatory and even a little appreciative? #and the thing is that do sound like me (oh no) and I would appreciate and own that descriptor I think #if the notion of being perceived as harsh and bossy didn't fill me with absolute dread as to how I'll eventually be treated #how people will eventually feel like it's okay to treat me because surely I must have deserved it at least a little #so #idk don't love that being a constant in my career so far!!!! #sorry I'm just being very Panic Attack Trigger Happy since a couple of days #doesn't bode well for the year to come

[ninesparrowsoftroy]

Slight Character Analysis for Daemon Targaryen!!

I do believe that Daemon Targaryen loves his family, I fully believe he loves them more than himself, only I also believe that it’s not the kind of love you’d usually associate with a brother/a son/a father.

It’s established quite blatantly in the show that Daemon is fiercely loyal to his house and subsequently to the historical culture of it too (whether this be the idea of incest, polygamy like Aegon the Conqueror, the Targaryen wedding rites, etc…) He lives for the Targaryen name, he fights for the Targaryen name, he loves in the Targaryen name, and he comes off extremely arrogant for it (which granted in no way do I deny that he is arrogant because he most certainly is). But it’s because of this intense loyalty to his own house that I stand by the fact that his love for his family is far more a contortion of dedication that it is actual familial love.

Take his marriage to Laena Velaryon, I do not doubt he cared for her just as he did for his daughters, but I also believe a significant factor of that was because they were of Valaryian descent just as the Targaryens were (and to him the marriage would have been the closest thing to dedicating himself to his house that he could get seeing as Viserys refused to marry Rhaenyra to him). It’s also very obvious in his relationship with his daughters, though I stand by the fact he most definitely cared for them, it’s clear that he favored Baela slightly more than he did Rhaena strictly because Baela had a dragon and Rhaena didn’t. Having a dragon and being able to ride it is the most defining factor of the entirety of House Targaryen, so it’s no surprise that when his own daughter bonds with a dragon of her own he immediately shifts attention to her because she is—to him—proved herself as a Targaryen (even if being a dragon rider is not something restricted to only the Targaryens!!)

Then there’s Rhaenyra and her children, and while it would be nice to believe he became a father figure to them once he finally married her, realistically that was probably not the case. However, despite this he does not outwardly ostracize or neglect them as one might think, instead he does the complete opposite and goes out of his way to defend them—but obviously not to the extent that Rhaenyra does as Daemon does recognize that they are Harwin Strongs kids and not Laenor’s. Regardless, this behavior only strengthens the idea that Daemons love for his family comes from a place of deep, deep dedication to his House as those are still Rhaenyra’s sons even if they’re bastards, and they still have dragons, and they still have claims set in place because of their birthright. It would have been so easy for Daemon to turn on them in the same way everyone else has, but instead he chooses to stand by them because Rhaenyra is the first and only child born from Viserys and Aemma, two Targaryens, and so consequently her children are more Targaryen than those of Alicent’s.

Of course, the further into this one goes the more complex and contradicting everything becomes, but for right now this is roughly of my understanding of Daemon’s character!!

#I’ve also spent like over 6 hours working on a college report so maybe I’ve gone brain dead and none of this makes sense who knows! #it’s possible this is just brainrot but whatever #game of thrones you little parasite in my head #what would i do without you #to be fair also this is not to make him sound like a horrible person #or to sway you to one side or the other #it’s just my thoughts and opinions on him because he’s a very interesting character #house of the dragon #hotd #hotd season 2 #hotd daemon #hotd discussion #daemon targaryen #character analysis #house targaryen

[queenangst]

a theory on wrackingspelt, and what they mean to and for hob—

three episodes into a court of fey and flowers, the question of who wrackingspelt is and their relationship to captain hob only grows stronger. it’s very plausible and easy to read what we know of their dynamic as romantic, but i’m gonna quickly toss the idea of a platonic, familial dynamic on the table as a theory for fun.

here are the things we can infer about wrackingspelt so far:

wrackingspelt, and hob’s relationship with them, is a secret. perhaps even from the goblin court. so far, the only mentions of wrackingspelt have been from hob writing letters, and these letters remain unsent, kept by hob for safekeeping. both letters that have been written so far have also been written—or, intended to, though with wuvvy’s eavesdropping—alone and away from others. so we can guess that wrackingspelt may not be well known, or known at all. also, hob and wrackingspelt are separated, perhaps even beyond the bloom, though that wrackingspelt is not in attendance at the bloom suggests they may not be an archfey, or a person deemed of importance or necessary at such an event. additionally, of course, wrackingspelt is someone dear to hob, and someone to whom hob would confide his doubts and feelings to.

(also, though it may be silly, i think wrackingspelt is alive and they are separated from each other; e1′s letter could be interpreted as being written to someone who is dead, but e3′s letter seems to imply they are alive.)

onto theory, though this is really out of my own interest, i think it’d be cool if wrackingspelt isn’t a secret lover, but someone who is like a child to hob. perhaps a ward, or someone he could mentor. or maybe even a literal child.

this is all, of course, conjecture - both of hob’s letters, in what is definitely a deliberate move on brennan’s part, are longer than we get to know. there are contents and words we aren’t privy to. at most, the sentiment boils down to hob missing them and wanting to be together again.

Dearest Wrackingspelt, long are the hours of our absence, and with each passing moment I find the pain of that absence grow stronger and stronger. I think of you always.

My dearest Wrackingspelt, in the execution of one's duties in service to king and court, it becomes necessary at times to place in the confidence of one's most trusted and privileged compatriots, the secret misgivings of tender sentiment to which even steadiest hearts may be compelled in the face of rank uncertainty and tribulation, defiant of all preparation in the narrow precognition of their host, to wit, the burden of execrable misery, far from waning with the passing hours, counters all adages and aphorisms, whose musings on the passing of time are rendered mendacious...on the passage of time and its remediation of want or injury. It instead waxes with all the venom and ferocity of an asp, such that your humble servant must fail in knowing rest or peace or hope. It is a dull and dreary ache. The most dispassionate tempest whose ruinous wake strands what it cannot destroy. It has taken me 45 minutes to write the past four sentences.

So I shall speak more plainly. I wish that you were here. I wish that I could tell you that everything would be all right. And most urgently, I wish that you might one day read…

this theory also plays into interesting table dynamics. i think hob having a child, and being a father or mentor figure, helps contrast his relationship with andhera; as we see, andhera is clearly much younger than hob, and likely that is the reason why hob spared them out of his honor when they met at briar falls - but wrackingspelt being a child would also strengthen hob’s reason for sparing andhera.

despite the wording of the letters - even perceived romantically - i get the feeling that hob actually hasn’t been in a romantic relationship before. he’s clearly very used to being different from the members of the goblin court, and though he’s celebrated and valued for his military prowess, he doesn’t seem to see himself as someone who might be loved. who could be the object of someone’s returned affections, or someone who is valued.

Captain Hob: [to Rue] You must forgive my confusion. It is simply that it would have been the first time.

it’s hard to know exactly what hob meant, but during this conversation he does eventually seem to realize that rue had romantic intentions; i’d guess that hob meant “the first time” that he’d have been with someone or that anyone at all had showed interest.

his assumptions in the forest with rue are first that about the hunt, before he even considers the possibility that rue might be romantically interested in him. o think he feels he is not of the right station, nor does he feel worthy.

Captain Hob: ...You are a great Fey, Rue. Frankly, nothing could have prepared me to believe that the words of a Goblin would hold any weight with you.

...You deserve what you were seeking when we stepped into the forest together.

all this to say, i don’t think it’s unbelievable that wrackingspelt may not be a lover, but a child or ward young and dear to hob’s heart, the truth of which the other characters and we are unaware of yet.

#also this is meta and more personal so im putting it in the tags but: #brennan has said before that as a person hed love to be a father #so honestly like. i just think itd be really sweet if he played hob as a dad/mentor/similar figure instead of like. hob with a secret lover #THIS IS PROBABLY HORRIBLY WRONG I JUST THINK ITD BE COOL i want hob to be a dad.... #acofaf #d20 #acofaf spoilers #a court of fey and flowers #kp hob #captain hob #dimension 20 #JUST IN CASE IM RIGHT. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST THOUGH #d20 meta #also this is all assuming wrackingspelt is a goblin bc the name sounds gobliny #though ofc. they could be from another court which is also cool #ALSO couldnt fit this into the post but like #im also feeling like maybe hob and wrackingspelt crossed paths or like. was born or WHATEVER during the time of the skirmishes #with the unseelie court #but i have nothing to back that claim its just i think itd be cool #with the child theory for that to really strongly play into hob sparing andhera

[sonego]

.

#actually the reason why i said goodnight and was ready to go to bed but i still hadn't is that i got sad abt my cat #and i couldn't move from the couch for half an hour i was petrified by grief #i still can't believe i will never cuddle with him again. like ever ever #it's horrible to even think about for 2 seconds let alone spend half an hour doing that #i feel mynheart so heavy in my chest like there's a massive rock on it #doesn't certainly help that yday my doctor gave me an appointment for next year and it'll be on what'd be my grandma's bday #which i guess is good cause that means i won't forget about it #but it's also making me think of her and especially lately i feel so.. idk. sad i guess #i think of her and feel like a void a hole in my chest #bc i forgot so much. so so much. it's been so long #i just idk grief has been consuming me lately #sounds dramatic what can i say i feel like everything is missing nothing makes sense i am not a person life is a waiting room i can't leave #i'm in bed now listening to eden hoping i'll fall asleep soon and sleep well

[bear-cubs-art-things]

I'm pretty convinced that the band directors don't like me 🙃

#it's not bc I'm a horrible person. I sort of am but that's not the point #I'm pretty sure it's bc I play loud by nature in the band room. And my tone is hella brassy (metallic sounds :P) #Also I have traits that most directors would want to repress. Like brute honesty. #I also give off a vibe that half the band don't like XD including the directors XDD #bear rambles #I'm a good person. Really. My energy is just too much to handle sometimes 😎

[brutal-out-here]

Having an extremely awkward situation is painfully awful

#raineyrambles #posting instead of dealing with it currently #basically I have two potential roommates down and one just messaged saying they got a messenge from someone else #the problem here is that the person who messaged them goes by he/them #and what the problem is isn’t what they go by- I personally don’t care #but my parents on the other hand would very much care in the opposite direction #and yes I could just flat out say that but then that low key makes me look like I’m just making something up #but also how do I even phrase that correctly without it sounding horrible??

[oatbugs]

i hateee being away from uni sm i just want to go into.the living room where the is Sun but i can't bc my father is there. augh

#my mother can see im visibly uncomfortable and stuff. and shes like. its also ur home and ur free to stay wherever u want #which is like. thats very sweet thank u. except my father is objectively such a Horrible person and his presence makes me so #uncomfortable and he keeps trying to talk to me despite knowing that i dislike him so much bc of what hes done #it makes me feel grossed out fr like i just wish he would LEAVE i want to enjoy the sun #ive been spending every day in my room w 0 sunlight its making my mental health worse #literally didnt get any food until 4pm bc i wanted to avoid him #idk.what to do atp #anyway sorry if i sound rly entitled or w/e i just want to vent abt this

[boneless-mika]

If I listened to the anti-kink ppl I keep coming across I wouldn’t be allowed to have sex at all because the only instance I would is if I were fully clothed and nobody touched my genitals and possibly I’d need to wear gloves

#no being pro kink doesn’t inherently mean you support raceplay for fucks sake #87% chance the person who said that just hates kink in general #and are grouping things like impact play or the general concept of sadism/masochism with genuinely harmful stuff as unacceptable #like I think somno with prenegotiated consent is perfectly fine but is that actually too far and unethical? #what about pet play? do you think those engaging in it are zoophiles? it kind of sounds like you do #also you don’t entirely control what turns you on #I’ve been turned on by torture scenes ever since I was like 12 and it’s horribly distressing #I don’t think that makes me a bad person

[fridayyy-13th]

i’ve got a very strong feeling that sometime during the current wtnv arc, janet lubelle will try to explain away cecil himself

bc like, he’s the one making the town aware of her experiments and inciting them to try and stop her (though they would probably do that regardless, he’s just making them aware of when she’s doing her experiments)

and she’s a very destroy-the-weed-at-the-root kind of person, i think, so it would make the most sense to try and explain him away and take away the power he holds over the town. he’s getting in her way, interfering with her experiments, so why would she let him continue?

#friday chats #don’t know if this’ll happen but i wanted to call it now. just so i can say i called it beforehand if it *does* happen #if she goes after cecil i think carlos should just fucking. kill her. or at least fuck up her research or punch her in the face #because he deserves that #she also deserves that #kudos to her voice actor though they do an amazing job at making her sound like a HORRIBLE person #welcome to night vale #janet lubelle #cecil palmer #also full disclosure i wrote this post at 12:30 am with a headache so if it’s incoherent at all that’s why

[the-n3w3st-g1rl-g1rl]

I don't trust people who shit on Alphys

#if you're mean to Alphys I don't trust youuuu #''she's annoying'' how so. because she likes talking about her interests? because she's depressed? #because she's insecure and wants to make herself seem cool? #how is anything about her annoying? #you just sound meeeeeaaaaaan #''she's a bad person'' she did the best she could #and if her best isn't enough for you then fuck offff #she was in a horrible situation I'd like to see you do better #she took care of the amalgamates #she tried her hardest to BRING PEOPLE BACK TO LIFE like bitch can you do that? I didn't think so #tbh the fact that she made flowey means that in a really indirect way she's kinda the reason the barrier was destroyed at all #so you know what. I think that makes her a hero. #also in the genocide route she's the reason people survived #she EVACUATED EVERYONE TO SAFETY #she is the absolute hero of that route for sure #tbh Alphys is the best I love her

[maxthesillyy]

this might be the most controversial thing i have ever said but like,,,,, chloe is a little overrated. HEAR ME OUT. not that she’s bad. she’s wonderful. love her forever. top ten women. But. she’s overrated in the way that like…. idk maybe it’s just the aroace-ness in me but istg half the fandom is only focused on how they find her attractive.

#2/4 only thinks about how she’s hot #1/4 thinks she’s a horrible person #and the last 1/4 is mainly just people on tumblr who actually look at her character #idk im not sayign im better than them #but #like #we get it… she be pretty. now can we PLEASE talk about the fucked up things about her #i rlly hope this isnt like. pretentious sounding. but like… guys…. #max… and sean and alex…. theyre right there #sean is the most UNDERRATED purely bc LIS2 is the most underrated. then alex for the same reason but also more. #and then max but rlly only bc her game is the most popular out of the other 3. #like. she’s still underrated— but not in the way that like. she isnt well liked #almost everyone likes max. #it’s more of like. she’s underrated in the way that nobody is really… like looking at her. #not a lotta people actually look at her and all her problems #which is fine lol #but. #for the purpose of this ranking system— from MOST UNDERRATED to LEAST UNDERRATED: #sean- alex- max- chloe #wait what am i even talking about again #idk #throwing this into the void.. #maybe ill get studied for it #lis #life is strange #chloe price

[phoenixcatch7]

Been reading svsss fanfic and fan content for nearly two years now and I gotta say I am appalled by the lack of diety bros!sqq and sqh.

Like, we don't have nearly enough creator deity sqh anyway (the feral ones are e x q u i s i t e) but I haven't seen any where sqq is on the same level!

Consider: at one point in the past sy, in full hater inglory, starting (accidentally or otherwise) a full scale fan war over pidw. Trolls rampaging through comment sections, toxic ship wars spilling into social media sites and trending for days, streams of hate mail, attempts at doxxing poor sqh even. It culminates in the crashing of the entire site he posts on, obliterating the chapter he was working on and the site admins banning his work.

For the days it takes for him to get it put back up with his account unsuspended sqh suffers, and he almost successfully gets peerless cucumbers account terminated for starting it until he realises that pc jumped right back to paying for chapters and extra content like he was doing even in the final days of the war. Like he never did anything. Yeah, like he'll be forgetting that username any time soon.

Skip to the final chapter, and the fan war has calmed down, and actually benefitted sqh in the long run by giving pidw such a huge cultural platform. He posts, sy responds with the most scathing vitriol he's ever commented (having successfully pressed send before his body gave out) with allusions to another fan war surely brewing, and sqh jumps from his chair in fury and terror - he's on complete burnout, he hasn't got anything left to give, he can't afford to go through that again -

Trips, spills, the ramen gets everywhere. Killed by his own sparking computer, he dies before he sees the files corrupt, the entirety of pidw corroding away into terabytes of faulty static.

They both die within minutes of each other, sqh, the creator of pidw -

And sqq, who destroyed it.

#I just think that'd be incredible to read #I love healthy cuplane but sometimes I just think they aren't vicious enough #The parallels in the book are already close enough #It'd just take a couple small adjustments and BAM #barely an au but so feral #Yin yang connection where sy is the great evil with a genuinely kind personality hidden away #And sqh the great creator who scurries around helping people out who might stone his favourite oc to death with his bare hands #Sqh holds the most sincere hatred for pc for the longest time and vice versa but then they meet in pidw #And it's been long enough that a screaming match venting it all cleanses most of the active loathing #I'd like to think they end up getting along and feeding each others diety complexes when they discover #Their influences in regard to the world remain #Also I am in desperate need of a Ultimate Regress Forms where sqh is all lines of code and sqq is made of error messages and glitching stat #No one in svsss would have any idea what they were looking at #It'd be so delicious #If you want to go extra angsty: yqy seeing and realising sj has been taken away but being helpless against what replaced him #Lbh having weird dreams hearing them talking together like the Minecraft people end scene #Mbj would of course both find it hot and have a full crisis of hierarchy if he found out #Sqh: glowing from behind eyes blank text streaming behind him I WEAVE THE THREADS OF REALITY TO MY WHIM #Sqq: movements lagging behind sound of static face glitching horribly SUCKS FOR YOU I HAVE A BIG PAIR OF SCISSORS THEN #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #shen yuan #cumplane #shang qinghua #moshang #bingqiu #shen qingqiu

[cryptojuice]

take this with a grain of extremely drunk but at this point I'm my journey? now? I'm like literally the idealest person in the world and I think everyone else has something wrong with them

#is it autism? is that why people don't just fuckin communicate with me? #my autistic superpower is im TOO GOOD at communicating and everyone else is behind me. #im already in the 'so how do we meet our needs' stage when other people are in the avoidance stage or the self awareness stage #idk. idk. fuckin tired of it #tired of games tired of excuses tired of IMMATURITY #tired of being more grown than people in their mid 30s. tired of being more grown than my parents in their mid 50s #tired of being the ONLY person i know ACTIVELY working on their flaws and making progress #maybe others are just working on things i dont notice and maybe others dont notice what im doing. but idk. people have seemed to notice. #is it because im becoming buddhist? am i like more fucking enlightened or something? #i would hope that wouldn't be the only thing causing such a disconnect cause that sounds fucking pretentious #im drunk cause i was upset. remember yhis if you're reading these tags #im not upset anymore cause i got drunk. and made a really good omelette #but yeah i feel so different from other people. so much better and also so much worse. hashtag paradox #best communicator deepest thinker most compassionate soul. also most horrible awful sinner #↑obsessed with the concept of sin in a fascinating way for someone who doesn't Believe in it #yes im a sinner yes im a real sex demon from hell no hell doesnt exist yes reincarnation is real yes i am buddhist yes i believe in ghosts. #i contain multitudes #anyways #i was supposed to *** ** ***** *** today and i didn't so I got grumpy i guess #i really need to practice the principles of detachment #I've gotten a lot better at patience and calm and meditation but i still care so much about inconsequential shit. enough to drink it away i #i should sleep i was trying to fix my sleep schedule the last two nights #but i don't want to. i want to drink and have fun and maybe cry #we'll see #doubt anyone is gonna read this it's mostly for me #gonna tag this #therapy #so i can find it if i need it #i just miss my girlfriend man. but she stood me up again without a word and it's disrespectful #and i know I'm gonna forgive her

[prom-the-game]

okok so like i got in contact with a couple of experienced writers for mainly writing advice and tips and told them about the entire story of prom

AND THEY ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE IT????!!!

#“You've got a really good hold on story structure.”???asdfJ SDIOPFUAWPERWEOR;AWK'F #“You sound like you've got such a strong idea of what you want for the story :)” WHAT WHAT OMG THANK YOI???!UIOUFDOPSAU[FPA #idk there's something about getting the thumbs up from actual pros that feels so amazing???!!! #also bonus comment: I told this person about the hell i'm planning on putting hyerin through and they said- #“Sounds absolutely horrible (for your characters)” #aksfjaskldf; #prom the game