#also im feeling better! yay!

[gorofictive]

insert crane wives lyrics here

#grian #desertduo #desert duo #3rd life #3rdlife #3rd life smp #trafficblr #traffic smp #traffic life series #scarian #<- just to be sure #also im feeling better! yay! #i have a bouqet of lilacs staring down at me as im writing this #am i insane? probs #my art

[ambagel]

Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?

But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)

In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer

Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared

#of course they could always just be not quite putting the pieces together in these scenes #buuuut at this point im not so sure.. #i was hoping theyd take a more “WE MISSED YOU” approach #because if im being honest those are some of my favorite moments #like yay everythings better now lets hug it out #i feel weird about them potentially not knowing about what happened #how would they play that off? solomon already said they were freaking out? #“oh whoops we time traveled just far back enough that no one noticed you were gone” #no #do not do that #that defeats the purpose of this whole shenanigan #they also cant just say it was the regular past #because story inconsistencies #solomon has even commented on how its different #hes like “simeon and luke shouldnt be here” #istg if they try to move past that without explaining i will explode #its a very plausible scenario at this point #theyve done it before #because oh does diavolo just not have the power to spot lies anymore?? ok #anyway im scared for the future of the story #this could go wrong in so many ways #obey me! #obey me! swd #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me luke #obey me barbatos #posts #maybe barbatos just merges the timelines again and thats why everyone feels weird #idk im too tired to think more about this

[acanthemp3]

sorry for disappearing from tumblr for 3 months without saying anything but im back now :> hiiiiiii :> ill ramble a bit abt why i was gone in the tags. anyway yay hi guys :> good evening :> hows everyone doing :>

#i really do feel bad... i was originally just taking a few days off to catch up on assignments #but i got convinced the internet was poisoning my brain m i got super scared of coming back online for some reason i couldnt really identif #then i realized it was one of my classic attempts to self isolate to solve all my problems when all it actually was is self sabatoge. #many such cases! #so much has happened but also literally nothing has happened at all. crazy #youd think all that time not on tumblr would have made me more productive but it didnt. i just napped and wallowed. #i wish i could come back with more art or something but i lowkey got nothing. but im working on several things yay!! look forward to it #on the bright side i think i recognize the impulse a bit better now and im trying to stop shutting myself off from any kind of community #u know how it is when its almost ur birthday and u realize that time keeps passing and if u keep living the way u are - #- ur never going to be happy? yeah. #so im probly going to be a bit chattier online or at least try to be. im trying to live my life less afraid of everything in many ways #angel.txt

[vaugarde]

pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:

the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon

to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)

the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon

pretty much everything about that gible

blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)

boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen

pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character

#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit #the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league #but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle #i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/ #that battling didnt even come up once #ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one #but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me #and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just #had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we #but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc #where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass #she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask #the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy #but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own #have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent #like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward #rewarding #imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show #as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all #was kind of a shitty move #like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th #which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself #by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!! #like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there #so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall #echoed voice

[wampabampa]

i started dark urge play last night cause i wanted to take a break from Miz'ri gameplay and man do i literally hate everybody but wyll shadowheart and karlach JSJIVBS

#squish the goober #baulders gate 3 #rambles #bg3 #bg3 durge #i love them i really do but with durge im playing as if it was fr fr me like not as if i was the character #and #GOD THESE FUCKERS ANNOYING AS FUCK #esp gale #the amount of times i shove him and astarion off cliffs because they give me attitude #like nooooo way ur sitting there giving me shit when i SAVED UR ASS #I COULD KILL U RIGHT HERE RN DONT PLAY WITH ME WHITE MAN #They pissing me off sm idek who to romance #also im getting contacts!! yay!! #ive always wanted to have contacts because my glasses i feel always ate up my face #cause even though i dont draw myself with glasses i do infact have glasses and they are black and rectangular and i hate it #but hopefully my new glasses will make me feel better #im kinda iffy on them but i litterally just wanted something new and something to match my wisp concert outfit #which the colors are black dark dark blue and gold #so praying

[hecksupremechips]

Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #its the misogyny yay #but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is #theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game #and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better #like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone #but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone #to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her #its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry #she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck #so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them #and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like #some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh #shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again #much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better #so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon #and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’ #cuz whos gonna stop me

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[pasta5284]

so crazy that ive been sitting here doing the reading for class and genuinely enjoying it and being able to focus and like. fully absorb the info and follow along. the adhd and dyslexia are no match for how interesting and enjoyable i find this stuff >:3c

#uwu #at least rn when i also slept well ate well hydrated not in a stressful interpersonal situation etc etc #i can literally feel my brain working better its amazing #school has never been my thing but wow im actually rly enjoying getting this degree!!! #and this quarter in particular is gonna be good i think! yay! #but often when im reading textbooks and stuff even when interested its hard on my brain it often goes in one ear and out the othsr #but not today >:3c

[jellypawss]

to cope with withdrawal i start writing some poems again like I did as a child, I used it to process a lot of trauma and forgot I had this hobby tbh lol. I’m definitely not the best writer but sometimes it just feels so therapeutic to just write and process your emotions. 

#sometimes it doesn't feel that good though #when i want to express a thought but can't find the words #im also thinking about drinking today and trying so hard not to! yay #its killing me :) #i was so bad 2 days ago i started thr*wing up and the room was spinning #so i had to have 3 beers #my boyfriend is getting a lot better at supporting me #i think he's starting to understand the difference between being an enabler and someone who supports me #anyways ya! #i thought about posting my poetry but I don't want to be laughed at for being edgy #and my vocabulary has decreased significantly after I started drinking #tw alcohol #alcohol mention #tw drinking #tw emetophobia #tw vomit #tw throwing up

[crazysodomite]

i wanted to behead him for being ugly but i decided to be merciful ☝

#im trying to get used to sit properly when i draw now that i dont have to reach for my keyboard... #im too used to sitting like a creature #my art #im also feeling like im getting better at drawing clorthing folds so yay #also sorry for turning off the lights on my sketches my eyes hurt on a white bg

[bonsaiiiiiii]

So I've just recently come to terms with it, but apparently a few months ago I got diagnosed a rare chronic illness that is so rare that it has no cure/therapy so I have to show up at the hospital for controls twice a year and if it worsens then it's a constant travel to the hospital but it's 🆒️ because I study in one already yay yay

but anyways

have a tictac about it (under a read more because it's like a sorta description and while it's not detailed it still describes an illness so ??? idk)

#iris speaks #tw illness #erythromelalgia #erythromelalgia awareness #chronic illness #i also got the new i have it just after my birthday #even if i showed the symptoms for a while now #so yay #can someone please page Dr. Tracy onto me pls? #idc if it's Grandma or Virgil #i need a Tracy 🥺 #anyway im talking about it now because it flared up again and maybe talking about it can make me feel better ??? #and because i can #obvi #medical rant over *jumps off homepage*

[wizardsix]

it's fun to look through datamined stuff but I need some of you to stop getting mad at larian for scrapping ideas you thought were cool. cool doesn't mean it'll make sense in the overarching story, and maybe larian likes this version better, or sometimes ideas just didn't work well with what they had in mind. I know this first hand from writing stories, I'll have cool ideas but realize later it doesn't fit the original tone of the story. it's okay to scrap stuff, but you can always use it for something else.

also, like it or not, it's larians game first, their story, their characters (I know.), it doesn't matter if we think something is cool, the reality is that not everything works in the end. and that's fine. that's how all art is, it's alive and ever-shifting, it'll go through many, many, versions, to the point where you might get sick of chewing on the same plot, and in the end the final version might not be as good as you thought when you look back in a few months or years. and that's ok. art isn't supposed to be perfect.

everything is subjective and I think fandoms would be a more intellectual place if people learned to critique art for what it is not what it isn't.

#of course don't get me wrong i have my own issues with the game that completely counters my point #but im not gonna sit around being upset over what could've been #overall i enjoyed bg3 i wouldn't have 600hrs if i didn't #to me this is like asking why an artist painted the forest instead of the dragon that was just out of frame #ofc you think the dragon is cooler but if the artist never told you they went to the dragon forest youd appreciate the forest for what it i #in art its like. the negatives elevate your subject. sometimes less is more no matter how cool it is #idk if im making sense ive been feeling sentimental about art recently and this is my favourite philosophy when it comes to my work #this isn't to say roll over and accept any art. always be critical always be a hater but the skill is knowing when and how #also im a believer of steal like an artist so if larian had cool ideas they didn't use? guess what? yours now. go crazy #i didn't mean for this to turn into a philosophy lesson on art but. theyre related #can you tell that ive gone insane from rewriting the same story bc i couldn't decide which version i liked better. i finally got it tho yay #oh god typo in the gc.... kill him . im not fixing that #six speaks #bg3 #larian critical

[girl-bateman]

Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all #literally my soul is gone or something #i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed #which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually. #ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better #alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off #like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot #like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy #moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously #but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends #i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help #idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho #like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me ! #so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback #kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk #it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore #but who knows 🤷‍♀️ #there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol #that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown #like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way #and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever #and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality #plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good #but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you #but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !

[thefinalwitness]

hello <3 i miss ffxiv so bad but ive been debilitatingly sick and cant sit at my comp for more than 20 minutes so may has been great so far. hope ur all doing good

#there's also been Emotion Demons but that's a whole other thing dw about it #anyway just dropping in bc im STAAAAARTING to feel better so maybe ill get to Do Stuff before the 21st #where i have an appt very far away and i expect the car ride to incapacitate my ass all over again #yay <3 #yoshi talks

[leatafandom]

It's that magical day again. My birthday! I've had some serious writer's block due to a heavy dose of pain and depression, but this morning I woke up and said fuck it. It's my birthday and I need more Kali and Cannibal Sam! I'm feral at this point without them. So I'm gonna spend a majority of the day writing some tasteful sexy gore and if we're all very lucky we'll be blessed with some new Monster verse before the day is done.

#happy birthday to me #i need it #im so happy to write a word this morning #i happen to have a dream and also watched every scream movie this weekend #i had ideas #yay for feeling slightly better today

[seaweedstarshine]

Rewatching my favorite Christmas special and I cannot get over “Psych*tic Potato Dwarf” as an insult from a person who — canonically — according to sources from the same writer — often hears voices that he has trouble distinguishing from reality. It's not just the one line, it's the fact that it’s the title of Strax’s theme! I always wanna call it out 😭, which works out in my The Snowmen-era Eleventh Doctor fanfictions because Strax is a nurse and would know what that word means.

Like, it does unfortunately fit the character because Gallifreyan culture is — canonically — systematically exclusionary of mentally ill people, and the Eleventh Doctor — canonically — hates himself more than anyone in the universe. But the choice?

#I think the real explanation here is that Moffat listened & learned & grew when it comes to representation during his run #btw psych*tic is censored btw for search reasons and uh. asterisks make ableist language less upsetting to look at? its true. #ableism #saneism #(I always see eleven as defining himself as a madman because it makes him feel braver. To him- madness is an act of rebellion- #Koschei was mad. Gallifrey openly rejects 'mad' people. he has a lot of baggage from being one of ‘the ones who ran away’) #that bein SAID #while like Moffat wasn't malicious like some *coughTHESOUNDOFDRUMScough* when it came to depicting psychosis- #he has a very specific way of showing his ignorance here #this is the man who wrote 'high functioning sociopath do your research' (which is. yay 'humanizing' low empathy symptoms! River Song too) #but please moffat do some research yourself before writing a line like that (I know that was like 2010 I know he got better) #words by seaweed #(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag #ANYWAYS im still working on the sequel to my Snowmen era elevenmissy snowmen fic that really shouldn't have a sequel #also 'doctor who doesn't have canon' -hush. its canon as it gets #okay I think this been posted enough days ago for me to add the character tags for organizational purposes #eleventh doctor #strax