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sabh0 · 6 days

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Is skk abusive? Other than the name calling and banter that I just don't take seriously, I've seen people say that Dazai is abusive since he planned for Chuuya to be tortured in stormbringer and didn't help because it would be boring, despite having the ability to do so. There's also the whole manipulating the sheep thing.

I've also seen people say that Chuuya is abusive because of how violent he is, how he punched Dazai to wake him up in Dead Apple and called him inhuman(? Ngl, I don't remember that part) and because Chuuya shot him more times than necessary in Meursault.

Personally, I struggle to see them as abusive r toxic, if only because of how much they trust and understand each other, and how they rile each other up for fun without letting it actually impact their relationship, but I may just be biased? What do you think?

Ok im just gonna say - dont take this post ad some 100% real wisdom or anything. It's just my personal opinion and it's definitely biased as well because of how much these two mean to me but yeah

I wouldn't call them abusive in relationship terms because all that banter and most of their fights are just, as u said it, unserious.

They're both fucked up a bit tho, so yeah there's definitely some toxic behaviours anyway.

Dazai manipulating Chuuya to join the sheep always made me real sad, but if you think about it more - Dazai knew The Sheep aren't any better for Chuuya. Plus if not like this, Mori would get Chuuya to join PM anyway in one way or another, since it was a plan from the beginning.

Dazai planned the whole 'helping Verlaine' thing to buy time so the PM forces could get ready to protect Mori and Chuuya later. That's mafia they're in - lives are not equal. Also Dazai wouldn't put Chuuya in danger he knew the other wouldn't be able to deal with. Either way, his whole yapping about wanting to see Chuuya being tortured is yet again that stupidly weird banter of theirs. After all, he's trying to find him and literally stop him from doing something he would regret. (Sab is trying to make some points but that still doesn't make whatever Dazai did something good. Just sayin. I just don't feel it's a black or white situation.)

I said it some time ago but lord, Chuuya is not abusive. Look, he knows when it's alright to fight Dazai and when he should stop himself not to hurt him. Even if they fight, he never does it seriously. Basement scene? He could've very well just punched Dazai without warning there. But instead he literally invited him to fight - and Dazai very much agreed to that sht with a smile on his lips. They're just very much not okay in the head on both sides. Later when Chuuya actually got angry, he himself threw his knife to the ground, which only shows he doesn't really have any intent of hurting Dazai seriously (In the manga. In the anime they changed it for whatever reason and he did strike him with the knife. But anime skk is just. Anime skk.).

That Dead Apple argument is so funny bc??? Chuuya was literally UNDER CORRUPTION AT THE TIME??? Corruption literally makes him lose control. He could kill a person with one touch. Instead??? Corruption Chuuya in dead apple somehow managed to hold himself back just enough not to actually hurt Dazai. Also, Dazai f knew he's gonna punch him anyway. I mean, bro kinda deserved it atp tbh /j

Cant really tell much about the shooting thing in Meursault - i stil have no f idea if these were even real, considering the fact Dazai is moving normally and there's no wounds/holes/blood visible on him or his clothes. These were probably just a play like the whole headshot thing?? (Tho dazai's scream and expression after that arm shot say otherwise),, really don't know, call it a better impression on Fyodor or Chuuya actually paying Dazai back for the other times

Ok so ,looks at all that sht i just wrote and tried to still excuse it somehow, I wouldn't call them abusive anyway just bc I've seen actual abusive relationships in real life and that's just uhh different in a way i cant really put my finger on,, there's some toxicity simply from the fact they're emotionally constipated and won't talk things thru like they should but,,, welp. Tbh i see most of their usual fighting as something unserious that both of em r okay with. Usually when they actually get into an argument about something it's because one actually got hurt by the other's words (for example that scene with Chuuya punching Dazai after he made jokes about Colonel's death). And they apologize without really apologizing, too (Dazai going to find Shibusawa and trying to take revenge on Colonel's death and later Chuuya going to rescue Dazai and saying to 'wait for him').

Unpopular opinion but i honestly feel that in the future they could very well form a normal, healthy relationship. They just really need to talk. Bickering and calling each other names for fun isn't imo really a form of abuse, when both sides know it's not meaning to hurt the other fr (if it was, then me and most of my friends would be fr abusing each other unfortunately) (and I don't feel abused even if we call each other names and say we hate each other, while watching cat reels together at the same time) (consider this some sibling-like stuff)

If nothing of whatever i just said makes sense, don't eat me please, it's just really hard for me to explain what i really think without being able to just talk for 5h straight while considering every ppint of view

#skk match each other's freak #and other ppl dont and that's why we keep having this conversation #sorry but you can't build a relationship with so much trust on abuse #LIKE AUGHH IDK IT'S NOT BLACK AND WHITE #there's so much to everything in their relationship it's really hard to answer 'yes or no' to this question #they're toxic but in a way that can easily be fixed #but i wouldn't say they're really abusive aughh idk #anyway i just googled 'is skk abusive' or smth to read some more opinions on the topic in case i missed smth #and immediately got a post sayjng #'yes skk is abusive. only dazai ship that is healthy is the one with odasaku'#and then i closed the page and thought to myself that maybe me being a bit biased isn't that bad #augh #sab q&a

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mikaharuka · 1 year

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☀️ (a comment that made your day?)

Heyo Alhaira!

There are four comments I wanted to shout out! The final comment is under the cut because it's long... but it's definitely the winner. Whew.

(@magma-saarebas19, @alpaca-clouds, @danceswithdarkspawn, @mrsmungus - I think y'all might be interested. It's a wild ride O.O)

Two simple and sweet ones (from Obsidian 10 and Midnight 14):

Your story is so good!!! This is literally my favorite twilight fanfiction ever!

I really like this fanfiction! I never thought I would like Mike as a character but here we go. Tbh I was looking for a little bit Carlisle action... but what I got was a whole new Twilight universe :)

One that made me think - this was left on Viridian 2 in mid-August last year, only 2 weeks after I started. It's stupidly obvious now... but I didn't know about my sensory style and this comment made it click:

Wow. I’m really in awe of your skills with scene setting and describing characters. You do it in such a way that provides a lot of lovely details but isn’t at all like your describing them consciously. It just reads really naturally while still painting a detailed picture in the readers mind.

And this last one... whew.

It completely freaked me out in the most flattering way possible!

...and yes, this one is on Azure. It's also the most recent chapter they've read. They haven't read Sapphire, Sangria, or Midnight yet!

So. This reader. This terrifyingly brilliant reader.

I'd call them a seer, but this goes way beyond that. Let me explain:

One - They had Mike pinned in a way no one else had. It's no big deal now, since everyone knows his color deal now... but this was written when Azure was the most recent chapter - back in September.

Back when even I didn't have his power completely nailed down yet. Before I went back to edit minor clues earlier on, about this power.

The part where both Beau *and* Mike come to school with dark bags under their eyes is quite damning. I have a strong hunch that Mike is hiding some pretty big shit from Beau. They both have a charm from Edward after all. Maybe Mike is starting to get some visions of his own? Or maybe he's had a Mandala of his own for as long as Beau, or just got one recently.

Two - They didn't just pin the future. Oh no. They also nailed my abandoned Apricity 1.0 as well! Beyond that, they even got me to reconsider using more of the original scene/intentions (still not sure how much, though)... and they have no idea about any of that:

I don't think Beau will doubt that they're vampires anymore after this dream, lol. The amount of time that Carlisle spent caressing his neck, biting his lips to the point that it breaks the skin, and finally biting into his neck to drink from him really made it clear. Carlisle was definitely showing off his possessive side with his pet names, but that last sentence was particularly chilling. "You're mine now, sweet boy," sounds like both a threat and a promise all wrapped in one. I shudder to think of what might happen if he saw someone was flirting with Beau. The other boy would be dead so fast...

I was so shocked that they nailed my original Apricity 1.0, that I actually clued them into it, in a deeper reply. I wrote this back to them - back when I was certain I wouldn't use the majority of it:

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention something earlier - bizarrely applicable to the point you made about what Carlisle might do IRL if someone tried something with Beau. So funny story - last year, when I was first writing out Cerise (the hospital chapter), I'd actually written an off-screen scene to get a feel for the characters and the actual in-chapter scenes. Mind you, that outtake and the first draft of Cerise are so far outdated now, that a good chunk of it doesn't connect to Cerise or Apricity of today... but traces of that scene still exist in both Cerise and Azure today. . In any case... in that super old Cerise outtake, after Carlisle grabs Edward and drags him out, they end up in that isolated hallway/room and Carlisle pretty much confronts Edward about... something (pretty obvious that something happened, even from today's Cerise). But within this very outdated draft, at some point, Edward starts egging Carlisle on about liking Beau, that first day at school, and Beau being his singer - just to get his straight-laced brother to react and well... Carlisle reacts... uhh... badly, to say the least. He ends up at Edward's throat on an instinct, but at some point he comes to and feels really terrible about it. Strangely enough, I was channeling a few pieces of that old outtake when I wrote Azure (and rewrote the today's Cerise from scratch)... so I'm actually kind of impressed that you somehow saw a piece of this old outdated reference I used for the dream sequence! . That being said, I'll leave it to you to decide just how outdated that outtake is relative to Cerise today. There are definitely a *lot* of major changes... but the outtake isn't totally irrelevant XD

And their cute reply to that:

Well, what are the odds of me asking what Carlisle would do in a specific situation, and that scene actually happened in an unpublished draft? Lol, that's amazing.

Three - You thought it ended there? Nope. It goes even further.

This person somehow nailed at the core of the mystic bond that those two share, as well as the elements of the dreamscape.

To be fair, they openly admitted that they read the chapter twice and noticed a ton of shit they didn't notice the first time around.

Also don't worry about spoilers. This is high-level enough that it won't give away stuff on its own... though Alhaira, I rambled about all of this in the DMs, so you should be able to see how close this person got.

The scariest part?

I think this person figured out my subconscious mind before I did:

The dream/vision was very interesting to read. Beau was able to recognize his surroundings, smell petrichor, remember to find his friends, etc. even in such a state. That he had so much control over his senses was surprising but seeing as this was more of a magical vision rather than a normal dream, it makes perfect sense. [...] The part where he felt a rush of power from the forest was intriguing. I know that he has more of the Current surrounding him than usual, but this is making me believe that maybe Beau can become a shifter or learn magic himself. [...] That Beau is enamored with him to the point that he'd let Carlisle do anything he wanted to him sounds extreme- so much so that I'm beginning to think that vampires have a lure or a siren's call or something else in your story. It's making me wonder if the actual Carlisle was present in this specific vision, and that's how Beau is being so affected by a supposed dream. [...] And boy, I'm excited to get some answers myself. The way the Mandala works is eating at me. I don't know if Beau is being affected so strongly from the Mandala because he isn't familiar with the current, he needs protection from the current, or if it's just the pull/lure of the vampire that he's connected to.

Well, I'll leave it at that for now... on its own, this isn't enough to spoil or anything, since they don't know the details for sure and are just theorizing. But this comment put a stupid amount of stuff into perspective, dragging so much stuff from my subconscious mind.

This was also the comment that made me revisit the whole thing with the Mahabhuta interlude, exploring the dreamscape and mystic stuff even further... even though this comment happened a whole three months before the vampire bingo card happened!

(I'll explain that in a post about the interlude soon, for Miranda's ask)

To say that I would pay money for their take on Midnight... wouldn't be a lie. I want to see what else they can drag from the depths of my subconscious. Heck, I'm like... 80% sure that if they read Midnight and soon, Prithvi, they'd be in striking distance of my exact plans!

Long story short... to say that this comment "made my day"... that'd be the biggest understatement of the month of last September!

#mizuka answers #my ask games #ask game #apricity plans #apricity outtakes #the abandoned apricity ver 1.0 #apricity #winter light headcanons #bellisle #carlisle x beau

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rexcaliburechoes · 2 months

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Scarlet, strawberry, and garnet for an oc of your choice <3

spins another comically large wheel that just reads the name "istorros" (yall i'm not trapped in here with you. you are trapped in here with me. LMAO.)

SCARLET - How do they grieve?

frankly? poorly. but this has a lot to do with how he was raised and how emotions were frequently weaponised against him. the most striking moment when he was one of the darkest moments in his life (in his opinion, a world ending threat has nothing on interpersonal trauma), and a beloved animal companion was killed after he'd barely made mention of it once. he couldn't even grieve; he had to immediately dispose of its corpse and shut down everything lest he be harmed further.

later, he gets better! he'll still refuse to talk about it, but he doesn't shut it down, at least! the bar is six feet under, i know. lol.

STRAWBERRY - What part of them is most like you? Was this intentional?

his trauma and his healing journey reflect mine really closely, hands down. i am NOT nearly as dry and blunt as he is, personality-wise, lol. i'm also not as nearly unsmiling as he is (he's a grouchy ass drow; i don't think most people could be as unsmiling as he is unless they're also a written character).

this is a really funny question to ask, since i've had one other oc a long time ago that reflected me very painfully closely. she was a fire emblem echoes oc, made to be another deep reflection of rigel. no matter how many times i try to have her start to heal from her trauma, she always refuses and gets worse. currently, she's retired and is living peacefully on a horse farm, as content/happy as she allows herself to be.

GARNET - If they had to kill someone, what method would they choose?

istorros is bound to the edicts of tempus, the warhammer, which means he is bound to fight others in honourable combat, and must not turn from a fight. hence, he could rather go about a fight directly, without beating around the bush or any frivolities. he's very efficient at killing, as a result.

however, he's not going to go and fight stupidly, either. most fights are done in a matter of seconds; the longer a fight goes on, the greater likelihood that something will go wrong, and you'll die, instead of your opponent. he'd rather kill quickly rather than draw something out for show.

once upon a time, before he worshiped tempus, and before he escaped the underdark, he would have tried to rely on poisons to ensure kills. but he would always be efficient with it; there's no use in keeping an opponent alive if there's a chance they will recover and kill you when you aren't looking.

he did learn how to poison a person before learning medicine to save them, after all...

#ask meme #istorros duskrorr #rex rambles #the other darkest point in his life was when he failed on a routine patrol and got his entire squad wiped out bc he was acting like an idio #and didn't support his teammates the way he should have #istorros is a fiercely independent sort; he would much rather solve his own problems rather than ask for help #which is a bit of a problem when he's a little beholden to the infamous drow arrogance fails to assist human squad members #and suffers a terrible terrible loss. he survived that skirmish out of sheer dumb luck #tempus is a god of war; he cares of his followers follow his dogma and also if they try to kill each other #so tempus didn't remove his blessing from istorros; if he did it would have been ooc for the war god #but in that moment istorros figured out that uh. he kinda needs to cooperate with others #it is a surefire way to get himself killed if he doesn't #it's the reason why he's so ready to party with the other companions when they reveal they've been tadpoled #(even if he's not sure how they've all survived thus far. bc by the gods they are. a mess. all of them are.)#(he is so ready to have to mop up after them all.)#(and he really doesn't appreciate lae'zel and shart trying to kill each other one night. please. please don't. please.)#(the infighting will tear the group apart it's how armies fall when they're prepared to kill the enemy. please don't.)#(but aside from a couple of hiccups and realising all of their competency he doesn't worry too much about them all)#(much. sort of.)

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periru3 · 8 months

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So today I went into work and was like I am in the midst of a depressive episode. I am working with two new hires I haven't worked with before. I twisted my bad ankle the other day and it's been killing me for like a week now. It is an unseasonably warm Friday night (I serve ice cream) and there seems to be a festival happening outside our door that nobody warned me about. It will be a miracle if I make it through all 8 hours of my shift without being a raging bitch to anyone.

And you know what? I think I was doing okay. Being depressed doesn't really impact how good I am with customers like 96% of the time, so it being stupidly busy kind of helped actually. It meant there wasn't downtime where I would have to make small talk with my new co-workers as though I could think of anything other than lying down on the floor and giving up. So everything was fine.

Until 10:57 when this woman comes in and is SO cranky because we don't have dipped waffle bowls, a thing we have never carried at this location, and I'm like we have dipped cones, so she gets one of those, and she gets a large and then after I've scooped the large into the cone she's like "and I want hot caramel and peanut butter sauce" so I have to tell her we just ran out of peanut butter sauce and she is NOT HAPPY and I'm like ma'am it's been a long day and we close in 1 minute some things have run out that I haven't had a second to deal with I'm sorry but also take a chill pill. So I go to put the hot caramel on and am really stupid in this moment because I KNOW there is no way to put hot caramel on a large ice cream in a dipped waffle. There's nowhere for the caramel to go. But at this point I've already pissed her off so much I just can't bear to say no to one more request. which is stupid cause it's not like she's going to be any happier with a handful of hot caramel. But I try to put it on the ice cream and after I do she's like "and walnuts" and I'm like "I'm so sorry, do you mind if I put this in a cup with the cone on top, all these toppings are going to fall off" and she is UNHAPPY and I get why, it was stupid of me to even try to put the caramel on, but I'm clearly doing my best to fix it, and in the amount of time she spends being cranky about my idiocy, it's far too late and I am just covered all the way down my forearm with hot caramel. it's a disaster. anyway I got it into a cup and managed to squeeze some walnuts in there and it was a mess and I didn't charge for the toppings because I felt bad that every aspect of this transaction was clearly such a major disappointment for her and I JUST wanted to end this nightmare interaction on a positive note. But then as I'm ringing her up she says to her husband "I'm surprised Carl isn't here."

And then, my friends, Carl got there.

It is at this point 2 minutes past closing time, but I hadn't been able to lock the door. And I truly am like what harm is one more customer and also I'm unwilling to kick this angry woman's friend out and incur further wrath.

But Carl is one of those guys. You know, the guys who are like "I'm going to refuse to have a normal customer interaction with you. Everything I say will be jokes. We are best friends. Why don't you think I'm funny. Humor me or I will never order my fucking ice cream. Maybe I'll say something self-aware about how much you clearly hate how hard I'm making this, but it's a joke and I have no intentions of stopping being this way." He wasn't even the first one of those guys we'd had tonight. There was a guy like that a half hour earlier who I wasn't helping. But that guy at least also ordered his ice cream like a normal person after not too much hassle, even if he kept joking the whole time.

CARL ON THE OTHER HAND comes in and is like "SO! Whatcha got?" and I'm like "ice cream! :)" and he's like "I know that. It's an ice cream store. Whatcha got?" and I'm like "... ice cream. our menu is right here." and he just generally continues to be a lot and is so loud and is making jokes and is NOT. MAKING. ANY. PROGRESS. TOWARDS. ORDERING. and eventually he's like "WHATCHA GOT?" And I at this point am losing it and am like "ICE. CREAM. WE HAVE SMALL AND LARGE" and then this guy looks me up and down and is like "I can see that."

FLAMES. FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE.

But I stay chill. I'm like "what can I get for you?" (for the third or fourth time at this point). And he gives some stupid joke of a non-answer. And at some point starts also addressing my co-worker, who also just wants to go home. And at some point he asks her what we have and she's also like "Ice cream" and he is like "I know you have ice cream" and I'm like WHEN DOES THIS ENDLESS CONVERSATIONAL LOOP END and my co-worker is like "we have small and large" and he is like "I told her I can see that! Small" *points at my skinny co-worker* "and large" *points to me*

After that point it's all a blur of rage. I know he said something about liking large. I know he referred to himself as extra large. I know he said some other stuff that was all jokey and ice cream metaphory and hard to track whether it was actually gross or just stupid. My co-workers at no point caught onto the fact that he was talking about our weight, which is WILD to me because it was NOT subtle. Anyway somehow we eventually got him to order and he left and at that point five more people had come in because people kept managing to get in before I could get the damn door locked. So I helped four more people while seething with rage and then voiced how mad I was to my co-workers as soon as I got the door locked and they were both like "OH that's what he was saying. I could not make sense of any of it" and I'm like "he pointed to you and said small and then to me and said large. It was extremely explicit"

Anyway I just really need to practice saying out loud "I don't serve ice cream to people who think it's ever appropriate to comment on a stranger's body"

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cherriipi · 4 years

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Hi! i just stumbled into your blog and realized that requests were open! i hope you don't mind but may i request *insert your more favored HQ team here* reacting to hearing that their lovely manager had gotten hurt badly bc of an opponent during one of their tournaments? (may be an accident or intentional your choice) also the manager is a guy who's pretty physically weak! i hope you don't mind!

nonnie, i am actually losing my damn mind over this, this is GOLD i love it 💕 physically weak, male manager for Nekoma? let’s do it.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Get Even

summary: Nekoma has a practice match and the opposing team doesn’t seem to like Nekoma’s sweet little male manager, but they’ve made a horrible mistake.

tw // gore, violence, bullying(?), slight angst, reader overthinks for a smidge, feral Nekoma

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

It felt like hours before (Y/N) opened his eyes again, in reality it had only been a few minutes but the sting in his nose that traveled through his eyes and up to his forehead had his full attention. He sat up with a low groan and rested his arms on his knees as he wheezed in and out, it felt so hard to breath, no thanks to those major assholes that had decided to kick the shit out of him just minutes prior.

“Fuck,” (Y/N) coughed roughly. “Goddammit, that hurts...” He pressed a hand to his chest in an attempt to calm his heartbeat and settle his breathing, he’ll be lucky if he only has a few bruised ribs and maybe a black eye.

“I gotta get back to the gym...” (Y/N) mumbles and shakily stands up, knees almost buckling before he steadies himself with the wall nearby, a wall that was unfortunately just used as a weapon against him. He cringed at the thought and let out a huff before making his way to the gymnasium, it wasn’t too far from where he was. He reached the doorway and Coach Nekomata spotted him before quickly waving him over, (Y/N) gulped and eyed his team, making sure they were focusing on the practice match at hand; which they were.

“(L/N), where have you been? What happened to you?” Nekomata questioned, hand brushing against the various scrapes and bruises on his cheeks and eyebone, the boy flinched and hissed slightly at the pain.

“I’ll... I’ll tell you after the practice match, I don’t want this information to effect their play style.” Nekomata lets out a hum of thought before nodding and turning his attention back to the match.

As he watched the match, his nose felt so... itchy. He wiggled his nose but the feeling remained, he tenderly rubbed the tip of his nose but it still didn’t feel any better. Nekomata called for a timeout, yet the manager couldn’t remember why he had. Was the other team ahead? Could he tell the boys needed a break? The edge of his vision prickled with fuzz and he blinked in an attempt to get his vision back to normal.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Fuck, was that blood? Those motherfuckers must’ve smashed his nose hard enough to break it. Damn that wall.

“Oh my god, (Y/N) you’re bleeding!” Lev screeched, green eyes wide with shock and fear. “Your nose is bleeding!”

“Shit,” he hissed and cupped his nose with his hand but the blood was practically pouring out now. Naoi grabbed his arm and gently pulled him towards the bathrooms.

“Lean over the sink and pinch your nose,” Naoi instructed as he pulled out a small pouch of tissues. “Cover your nose with the tissues and keep pinching it, don’t lean back, the blood has to drain forward.”

“Thanks Coach,” (Y/N) replied with a nasally tone. His eyes were rimmed with tears at the pain and the reminder, maybe if he wasn’t so weak he could’ve defended himself, or even run away and gotten help, if he wasn’t so stupidly feminine or small or...

“You’re overthinking,” the older man huffs. “What happened? You look...”

“Like shit?”

“I was going to say roughed up, but yeah, that works too.”

“I...” (Y/N) paused for a moment, contemplating telling the truth right now. The boys wouldn’t know right now, right? So would it matter? “Some of the bench warmers from the opposite team... They cornered me earlier and decided to beat the crap out of me...”

“They what?” Naoi huffed angrily, “Why?”

“Guess i’m viewable as a threat,” he joked and glanced up at the coach. Okay, that wasn’t really THAT funny, maybe he should leave the jokes to Fukunaga. “They said I’m too weak and feminine to be an actual boy, so they rocked my shit.”

“Kid, I am so sorry-“

“What!?” (Y/N)’s neck almost snapped from how fast he turned his head, Shibayama stood in the doorway of the bathroom with wide eyes. “The other team did that to you?”

“Yuuki, you cannot say anything to them! I don’t want them to lose focus of the game because of me! I... I was gonna explain what happened after the game was done and they left.” The libero was shaking with rage, hands itching to go and sock those bastards in the jaw. He took a deep breath before releasing it and flashing his manager a sickly sweet, albeit incredibly fake, smile.

“Okay.”

Silence.

“You’re gonna go tell them, aren’t you?” (Y/N) doesn’t get a response, the brunette had already launched himself out of the room and back towards the gym. (Y/N) let out a loud sigh before glancing back up at Coach Naoi, who had a knowing smirk on his face.

“Those kids are probably going to be furious, aren’t they?”

“Oh definitely,” the older man nodded. “You’re their manager, they care about you just as much as you care about them. Honestly, I would be surprised if they WEREN’T upset.”

Upset wasn’t even a word that could describe their feelings as Shibayama ran back into the gym, the game was on pause so they could clean up the blood properly and the team was waiting patiently.

“Is he okay?” Kuroo asked, eyebrows furrowed with concern. “He was bleeding a lot.”

“Turns out our opponents decided to let some of their players beat up (Y/N)-kun,” Shibayama huffed. “Something about him being too feminine.”

“What?” Yaku hissed, eyes narrowing dangerously.

“How could they do that to (Y/N)?” Inouka whimpered sadly as he bounced from foot to foot, his feet wanted to carry him over to the bathroom and hug the boy tightly.

“So, they wanna fucking play dirty?” Yamamoto growled, cracking his knuckles loud enough for the other team to hear. Fukunaga let out a sound similar to a growl, baring his teeth at the thought of someone hurting THEIR manager. Kuroo’s hands clenched and unclenched, trying his best to keep a hold on his temper.

“I don’t think (Y/N) would want us to play dirty back,” Teshiro tried to placate the anger in everyone’s eyes. “I’m just as upset as you guys, but our manager would want us to play fairly. He wouldn’t want us to stoop down to their level.”

“We don’t have to stoop down to their level in order to get even,” Kai’s normally friendly smile is anything but friendly at this point. “What do you think Kenma?”

The mock blond was twitching with irritation, eyes similar to that of a feral cat’s. He bit the inside of his cheek and took a glance at the other team, who was rather oblivious to his heated stare, he turned back and nodded.

“I think we get even.”

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fluidityandgiggles · 6 years

Text

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 2

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1

Notes (I guess): I am equally in love and in deep hate with some (a lot) of what’s going on in here, and I am terribly, terribly sorry. And also there are some characters I wanted to explore a bit further than what had been in this part, but... I’m working on it. Give it a bit and I’ll get there. Again, credit to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for screaming at me to write this, and to @whatwashernameagain for Keep Him Safe, and also a tiny tiny lil bit to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual for their general support and for being such great sports about me annoying them with my ideas... (oops).

(I’m trying to find a way to write my notes, so bear with me until I find a way to… it might take a hot minute.)

(KHS) Tag List (sort of): @em-be-lievable, @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2, @adoratato, @supremestoverlord, @royallyanxious, @madly-handsome, @hanramz-the-fander, @the-incedible-sulk, @poisonedapples, @virge-of-a-breakdown, @winglessnymph, @princeanxious, @smokeyrutilequartz, @im-bad-at-life (if any of you could tag the rest, please do! I’m improving my memory from day to day, but… yeah…)

Tag list: @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter in particular includes some very heavy misgendering and deadnaming (if you get what I’m saying). Please be careful.

—————

Science of Living Systems 20 actually wasn't as bad as Remy thought it would be. It was rather cool, actually.

Well, at least he hoped it was.

The head of the department was… an interesting individual. Remy met with him during the application process. The man insisted on calling him "Miss Harris" and speaking to and about him in girl pronouns, and Remy understood why.

For some reason, though, Remy expected all the professors to be like that. And not such was the case.

"Rebecca Harris, I want to see you later in my office."

Doctor Gilliam was in his late thirties, called everyone by their first and last names, thought that being single was hilarious, made really bad puns in his lectures (though Remy heard, not as much outside of them), and tried his best to be "hip with the kids". It was worrying, to say the least. And… yeah, Remy was slightly terrified.

"I'm kind of worried, kid," Gilliam said the moment Remy walked in. "You don't look too-"

"Excuse me, Doctor, but I don't know what this is about."

"Have you heard about shadows and personae, Rebecca Harris?" Remy shook his head, terrified to say a word. "Well, it's quite an interesting concept. According to Carl Jung, you'll learn about him later, the persona is the mask you wear in the world. It's what you want others to see. The shadow is your innermost self, the parts of your identity that you wish to hide from others."

"Okay, and?"

"I think your persona might be cracking."

What… was going on?

"I'm not making sense, am I? I'm sorry. There's a lot that goes into that theory and I shouldn't confuse you this much, at least not until we get to it."

Yeah… it was weird.

"So, my point is… you can talk to me if anything is making you uncomfortable, okay?"

"Okay… I guess."

"Well, that is all," Doctor Gilliam said, fixing his glasses.

That… was weird. But okay. If that's how he wants to do things. Remy wasn't going to complain.

He was definitely better than the head of department.

—

There was a knock at the door.

Abby, their RA, was over earlier. Apparently Katherine had a bit of a scene right after class. So naturally, Remy assumed it would be Abby. No one else could be knowing on their door at ten thirty pm-

"We don't have your bunny this time. You can go."

Oh.

"Oh, no, I just…" Remy could hear that… kid? Whatever his name was, from the door. "I just need… I need someone to help me with something. And…"

"Oh. Remy can help."

"No I can't," Remy replied. "I need sleep and so do you!"

"It won't take long, I promise!"

"...fine." Remy got off the couch - the nice, comfy couch, where there was a blanket and his sols20 book - to the door. Where that kid (Emile? Emile) was looking at him with those big blue eyes and…

Yeah, Remy regretted unbinding. (Well, no. He did not. But also kind of did.)

"Hey… Rebecca, right—"

"His name is Remy."

Emile seemed shocked for a moment. Oh shit. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know. I just… I see you in most of my classes, so… never mind. So… how are you with baking?"

—

"So my sister Julie is LaVeyan—"

"Aren't we supposed to be baking cookies, babe?"

"Yeah, but… the stuff's all in the cabinets and I'm looking!"

Emile was a disaster child, Remy decided after only five minutes alone together. He brought a violin and his bunny to the kitchen in the pursuit of baking cookies - like, what even? - and he just seemed so… energetic? Happy? Whatever the word was. A couple minutes ago he was talking about the cookies, sure, but then he switched it to the importance of guided imagery, and then why Li Shang from Mulan is bisexual, and now… what was he even talking about?

"So my sister is a LaVeyan Satanist," Emile repeated himself, almost climbing on the counter to reach a cabinet. "It's kinda funny, actually. My dad's side of the family are all Catholic, and— can you put the sugar on the countertop, please? Thank you!"

"Sweetie, for the eleventh time this past ten minutes, I understand nothing you're saying."

"Am I speaking another language or something? Because if so I'm sorry!"

"No, it's just…" How does he not hurt his feelings? "It's just… you talk fast and about a lot of subjects at the same time."

"Oh. Okay. Sorry."

Maybe he thought Remy couldn't hear, but there was definitely a "this is just one of the things that are wrong about me" thrown in the air.

Emile didn't speak to him for the rest of the process. Maybe once or twice he pointed out a step or an ingredient, but overall he did not speak. At all. And then the cookies were in the oven…

And then he pulled out his violin.

"Is this really necessary?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Emile, is it because of something I said?" Emile, still pouting (as he had been for a good hour and some now), nodded. "Well, I'm sorry. Please don't silent treatment me."

"I talk too fast and too much."

"Not what I said. I just said I can't follow you. I didn't say it's your fault. Please don't—"

Emile pretty much just ignored Remy (uhh, rude!) and positioned his violin, and started to play something… quite angrily.

After a minute and a half Remy recognized it as Once Upon a Dream from Sleeping Beauty.

After another three minutes, he dared open his mouth again. "I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean to. Do you accept my apology?"

"...fine."

It was not fine. Absolutely not.

"Thanks for the help with the cookies," he said as they separated at the top of the stairs, all one-hundred-and-ninety cookies (Emile insisted on quadrupling the recipe) safely packed in plastic boxes and hidden away. "I… I'm gonna go now."

"Emile, please." He turned around, still looking quite pissed. (It was probably the hour, Remy tried telling himself. It's already past one am. This is not good.) "Are you mad that I said I'm confused?"

"To be honest with you, yes! Yes, I'm mad. I know it wasn't your intention but I heard you say shut the fuck up when you said that. And it hurt. Very badly."

...oh.

"I'm going to forgive you, but it's going to take me a bit, so please don't be mad at me, okay?" Emile honestly looked close to tears. "Good night, Remy. I'll see you in living systems tomorrow."

And then he went to his suite, violin and bunny with him.

Remy just got himself into a huge mess.

—

It was a beautiful afternoon in Boston when Remy found himself at the rather posh Italian place his mom wanted to meet at.

Before their divorce in late 1999, just after Remy turned fifteen, his father started contacting a charity organization dedicated to help transgender youth. He educated himself. Tried to educate his wife as well. But… apparently it was the last straw for Linda. The very night he tried to even just explain that it's not her fault, that it's how he was born, she packed up her things and left.

The divorce papers came in less than two months later. The divorce was finalized in November 1999. Remy did not see her since.

(Yeah… that was a lie. He actually hasn't seen her since Christmas 2001. But that was still a very long time. Almost a year is a long time.)

"Well, at least the weather's nice." And there she was with her new boy toy. Glamorous as ever, with her stupidly huge sunglasses and her bright red (disgustingly fake, makes India's hair seem real) curly bob, looking exactly the same as she did that day Remy came out to her.

A few hours later, though. When she thought he was asleep and left the house to go to some party.

"Well, at least you're still not very nice, Linda," he said with a smirk as he sat down next to her boy toy (he actually looks kinda nice, for a forty-something year old). "But much unlike the weather, I don't think this is a thing that can change so easily."

"Where are your manners, Rebecca?"

"The same place those diamond earrings you forgot when you left us are. At home with Dad, probably watching South Park."

"Well, at least we left the girls at home." Linda took off her sunglasses and replaced them with a normal, frameless pair of glasses. "I don't believe you met Stephen before, Rebecca."

"I don't believe I've met a Rebecca before, Linda."

"Are you ready to order?"

It took about two minutes for all the orders to place (of course Stephen had to order something overly fancy, because why the fuck not) before she started yapping again.

"Rebecca, I didn't ask to see you for you to be so rude to me."

"I didn't ask to see you, period."

"What would you like to be called, then?" Stephen asked. Well…

"Remy. My name is Remy."

"Your name is—"

"My name is not Rebecca! I haven't gone by that name since I was fourteen. Dad never called me that since the day I asked him to call me Remy. You're the only one who ever insisted, how do you think it made me feel?"

"How do you think it made me feel, Rebecca?" Remy hoped no one was looking. "My own daughter. I jeopardized my own high school graduation to have you because your father was dumb enough to forget the condoms. I gave up life-long dreams just to raise you, because that retard of a father you have couldn't. Is this how you repay me?"

There was a very awkward silence, that was broken by an unfamiliar voice - deep, with a southern drawl - and a confused "Rebecca?"

India. Without her makeup, her hair pulled back.

Looking almost perfectly manly.

"Excuse me?" Linda straightened her glasses, glaring at India. Oh, how Remy did not want this to happen… "And you are?"

"Ian McGinty, ma'am. I'm her boyfriend."

Oh.

"Your father didn't tell me you have a boyfriend," Linda spoke slowly.

"Because he doesn't know everything. And my name is still Remy."

"Ethan and I are gonna go now," India said, her voice still lower, still more southern than normal. "Text me when you're done, we'll go get ice cream?"

"...sure."

And then she leaned down and said, in the voice Remy grew to know and absolutely adore, "we're going to talk about this. Don't worry, I got your back."

And then she was gone.

"So a boyfriend, huh?"

"...so how many men have you fucked before meeting Stephen, Linda?"

—

"I'm so sorry about your mom, baby."

India's brother, Ethan, looked nothing like her. Well, he looked like a more manly, less boyish version of ‘manly' India, but also nothing alike. He also didn't talk much. So that was fun.

India took them to get ice cream indeed. (And much like her music taste, her favorite ice cream flavors - burnt caramel and earl grey - were rather… interesting. But she did swear that Toscanini's was probably the best ice cream in Cambridge, and who was Remy to argue with her?)

"It's alright. She's always been like this."

"Doesn't make it alright." Ethan grunted in agreement. "Take it from me, Remy. It's never alright."

"Does he have an Esther?"

India's eyes rolled so far back. "Do you think that every trans person have to have an Esther, Ethan? Do you truly think it's how we realize our identity?"

"It's how you did yours."

"I knew I'm a girl since the moment I understood who I am. Any related accidents after that are purely incidental."

"India, I think I fucked up." She looked up at him from her half-melted ice cream cup. "I told you about Emile, right?"

"You're still stuck on that?" Remy nodded. "Look… that kid told you he forgives you. You saw him in class since then, he didn't say anything to you… you're doing fine, sweetie."

"Is that his real boyfriend?"

"Ethan, shut the fuck up or I'll call mom. Remy…" India turned to play with his hair.

Yeah, it was very calming.

"He sounds like a very sweet kid. Trust me, there's no way you fucked anything up. You'll be okay. You'll get to hang out with him again, and it will be okay. Now eat your ice cream, you have the best ice cream, and then we're going back to your dorm and we're going to watch Priscilla. Or Hedwig. Whatever suits your fancy, okay?"

"...okay."

"Now, let's talk more about your mom and why it isn't okay that she treats you like that."

And for a bit, everything just seemed alright. Well, almost.

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: panic attack

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