#also for my own good i dont wanna be too neg on here because like this is the only thing i have in my life rn

[bistaxx]

I try to keep things positive on here but todays kinda the exception- I use the tags ‘negative’ or ‘discourse’ on here if you guys want to blacklist those

Also Most of my grief is towards chatters/twt not towards the tumblr fanbase 👍

#sry if I forgot to tag any posts I know how bad that stuff can make people feel #I suffer from rly bad anxiety that gets way worse when I see posts that are vague or generalizing #I’m just feeling kinda angry today and I wasn’t even that invested in the plot line #I guess I’m just more angry about what it means for the story overall and the effect this has on the cc’s + fandom #I’ll try not to talk on it more today unless if it continues to get worse #*tomorrow #not today I meant tomorrow- adhd brain moment sry #also for my own good i dont wanna be too neg on here because like this is the only thing i have in my life rn #that makes me feel happy and i dont wanna lose it cuz im not in a good place rn

[thecherrytarot]

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲.

pick a line to read a channeled message from your person.

listen to : like crazy by park jimin

pile 1 "I think we could last forever"

pile 2 "I'm afraid that everything will disappear"

pile 3 "Just trust me"

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏 "𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫"

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐 "𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫"

if you felt drawn to pile 3 make sure to check it out as well!

"hey there! don't you know it? I'm the one for you, your lover, your other half, your reflection, your king. I will come to save you, I know this sounds so filmy and cheesy but I will come and save you from that locked tower that feels like is always on fire, don't worry I won't let those flames hurt you ever again. I'll help you with every single thing you worry about and fix them for you, oh wait you don't want me do to that? Alright, I understand that you need to grow on your own but I will help you cause that's what friends and lovers do. They help the people that they care about. Don't feel afraid that you might fall back down through this journey, I'm right behind you, I'll catch you. Let's go ride bicycles and don't worry I'll teach you how to do that properly. My friends call me a simp and say that I am down bad for you they are correct about that no lie but they are wrong about how 'cold' you are towards them. They do not know you as I do, they do not know that you just have your guard up but because you have doubts about trusting your gut instinct, they don't know about your anxiety or how shaky your hands get when talking to strangers but fear not I am here, I'll rub your hands when they shiver, ill do the talking and encourage you to do that, I know you don't feel confident about the language that I speak but dont worry ill help you with that too and im good at correcting peoples grammar lol. Something about our connection makes me feel that this was meant to be, the decisions we made were made for us to meet that day or in your words 'god brought us together as a blessing and an apology for the things that we went through.'"

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑 "𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞"

i feel like many of you thought of your crush/ partner instead of your future spouse, then take however it resonates.

"I have so much to say, you are my favourite topic and also cause I have ADHD and I get hyperactive very easily. Anyway, I feel like you doubt our connection, you doubt if I am the one for you or are you the one for me and heck I even think you were doubting if this pile was for you aha got you, sorry I love teasing you and bothering you, you are just so cute and I love it when your eyes get big when you are surprised because of me, are they big now hehe let me take a picture fake clicking noises see? this is what happens when you date an introvert lol anyway back to the message I have so many doubts, they are filling my head and I can't sleep because of them no no don't worry they aren't always negative they are random but not the point sorry I keep getting distracted but what is the rating of this cause sometimes my thoughts get wild iykwim. I love the way you care for me, ask me in your sweet voice if I slept well or not and when I say no, I love how you let me rest my head on your chest and play with my hair cause you know that relaxes me. I had the best naps of my life in your arms. Please don't leave me, I am afraid that you will someday and I won't get to marry you as I have planned and no i don't wanna marry my games i want to marry you (not my games lol) sometimes i wonder if you feel like this too, these doubts of overthinking and our possible marriage. i feel like you do, so let's hopefully meet and talk about this topic and get it out of our system cause a little birdie told me that it helps."

" 'Just trust me' what a beautiful line, that's me saying that to you just trust me also look for pile 1, there are also messages for us there. I am a mess. I am losing my courage please come find me. I don't know what to do, I thought I would be fine but I am not. I have everything I wanted but this emptiness…it doesn't go away. I have been lonely for so long that I thought I would get used to it but I am not. I don't mind being alone but I mind not having someone to share my happiness, my sadness, my random fun facts, or just anything. I want to have my own family with you and maybe even kids but at the same time, I am afraid. I am so scared that our kids will end up like me and I don't want that to happen, I want our kids to love me and I want them to talk to me about their lives too, I had to cut off contact with my folks and I will never be able to live myself if our kids do the same with me. I am sorry I know I'm only talking about myself when this is supposed to be about you but what can I do? now that I have a chance to talk I'll say what I want to say in real life but am too scared to do so. When I am with you, you are all I can think of. I forget about my worries, my problems and these thoughts and just focus on you explaining something new that you learned today, it is so cute that you get so eager to tell me about it and I love it so much when you say things like 'oh i thought of you when i read/saw this and couldn't wait to tell you about it' it makes me feel so many things and i have never felt so happy. But when you leave those dark thoughts come back to me and haunt me. I feel scared to show you this part of me, you have an image of me being stable in your head and I don't want to taint it by showing you signs of weakness, I was never allowed to do that was i was young. I am sure you are aware that i struggle with my own shit, and i love that you don't force me to open up and patiently wait for me to do so cause you don't like it either when people force you to talk about your problems. Don't worry that day will come sooner than you think and our love will only grow stronger just trust me"

#future spouse tarot #free tarot reading #pac tarot #pac reading #general tarot reading #tarot reading #pick a card reading #love tarot #tarot #future spouse tarot reading #bts tarot

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

#AHH THIS IS /SO/ LONG #THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM GIVEN THE CHANCE TO RAMBLE #but thank you for the ask dio!! 🤧🤧 #it makes me so happy to hear you like yuusha 😭💕💕 #this also took a bit because i needed to like #actually turn all these thoughts into actual coherent words #and for them to actually. make sense together. #idk im proofreading this myself during the gamer hours of midnight hfdjslkf #i sure /hope/ they do make sense for the most part because this is pure massive brain vomit #[— #(💜) yuusha #✦ asks #★ my art #☆ oc rambles #—] #at this point too i’m sticking to the twst elsa concept #it just felt weird admitting it bc i have a history with this movie and its fandom in general #kids would ask you “whos your favorite disney princess it cant be elsa” bc everyone would pick her so i'd have to pick another </3 #she was too famous and therefore too obvious and basic #not to mention “let it go” was EVERYWHERE and it did become annoying at one point 😭 #the fandom around frozen back then was v questionable too ngl and i was also in that hole for a bit so it's just /ack/ #but rewatching the movie i realize how elsa kinda speaks to me hgjkdsjfaljsd #i could lowkey highkey rant more about her but anyways #imma be an elsa defender and apologist for as long as i am able

[popstart]

Am I the only one who feels like the way this fandom talks about female characters is always so like???? Omg girlboss but also a girlfailure I support women’s rights AND wrongs she was robbed!!!! Idk it’s always the same few phrases lol I don’t get it.

OHHHH I AGREE SO HARD💀 seeing the same 3 phrases used to describe the female characters bc they think its a diversity win. ok.

Female character is independent or strong etc -> omg shes suuuuch a girlboss teehee🙈 step on me. other weird and annoying sexual comments bc girlbossery is sexy (or something) and thats the only appeal female characters are allowed to have for a lot of people Female character is kinda cringe sometimes and doesnt succeed at everything -> omg my silly girlfaliure girlloser shes so sillystupid i love her Female character has dimension -> omg??? shes like a girlboss and a girlfaliure at the same time???

ignoring the fact i hate so many things about tacking on the prefix girl to random shit as something that feels like a negative connotation (or something degrading), there is 0 critical thinking people have for female characters and its like. ok man. people come up with 600 random headcanons and backstory elements for every single male character they like but designate the female characters they like to "oh ummm shes a girlboss so i like her😊" AWWEEESOMEEEEE. LOVE TO SEE IT🥴

and to people that dont see that or say that doesnt happen....... it does. i see it with my own eyeballs every damn day. eg; in fanon noah has 8 (or 9? i forget) girlboss sisters and is an expert hacker and speaks 300 languages and knows everything and makes 0 mistakes and is always calculated all the time and has 20 boyfriends while in canon he got kicked out of the opportunity of 100k dollars because he was reading and hates everyone and plays video games all day and is a massive schmuck for 1 single person that being emma. sorry noah fans thats just how it is. headcanons are fine but it gets to the point where its like hey guys what are we doing here.

and ok whatever. say we all stop talking about noah bc god knows he did nothing to deserve it. where do we go from there? the amount of people i see saying they wish there was more f/f in fandom they just dont wanna write it or people that say they wish they wrote f/f more its just too hard has me :I i think it really just proves how little fanon there is for female characters. since generally fanon is what fandom bases its fanfiction and general characterization on and f/f famously contains only women, it makes sense that if its "hard" to write for f/f pairings it means that people just dont care enough about the women to make wide spread fandom interpretations of them.

and it reaaaaaally sucks. total drama has what i consider a pretty good cast of diverse female characters. And sure, a lot of the time the show doesnt do them justice (they were robbed as many many MANY people say) but a lot of them have so much potential and all of them have at least SOME potential. but ofc, due to how theyre treated in the fandom, no one really cares about them outside of them being paired up with men. and even worse, people will just straight ignore them outright a lot of the time because they 'get in the way of their mlm ship' or some bs.

am i saying its inherently misogynistic to write mlm ships? HELLLLLL no. im just saying that the heavy apathy or visceral anger many many many female characters get unless theyre paired up with a man or because they 'get in the way of' a mans love for another man is quite frankly laughable when you consider what actually goes on in the show. this shit was made for kids, these people are kids. its just so weird just how obsessed people can be with a fictional character to the point of these overblown reactions to other characters of the same god damn show

#anyways this post got kinda sidetracked from the og idea of we should let female characters have depth so remember that #LET FEMALE CHARACTERS HAVE DEPTH. if youre only capable of describing a girl with “girl(adjective)” work on your vocab and critical thinkin #i should probably have a tag for fandom misogyny but idgaf #i mean i kinda gaf but i dont wanna go back and tag everything. bleh. #i kinda just assumed no one would ever listen to me or care or whatever so ive never tagged properly #but i appreciate peoples thoughts and feelings on MY thoughts and feelings ^_^ yay :D #ask

[actualbird]

// spoilers for marius' sweet chapter event storyline

hey so i just finished playing thru the phase 2 story and

holy moly, that was good and made me so emotional jhvJKVKSHFVJSDF. once again, i cannot emphasize enough just how much i adore grief narratives and themes, and all the parallels to cyrus brown (also lol at how they changed his name from chris brown jHVSKJFVJSD) to marius' own experience with giann

but the whole brother parallel is obvious and clearly tackled within the story. what i wanna talk abt instead is how a very specific portion of this story made me realize smthing that marius has done over and over again across so many of his stories.

and thus

mini character analysis (or maybe character observation?): marius and emotional distancing

wc: 1.1k obligatory disclaimer that these are just my own thoughts and interpretations. contains spoilers of marius' sweet chapter event, his personal story 4, and several of his cards

anyhoo, the part of the sweet chapter event that piqued my interest and made my brain.

in the last part of the story, when talking about how timmy's experience with cyrus reminded him of his own life, marius opened up on his his father and giann were busy when he was younger and that made him feel like nobody cared (before giann noticed and played a more active role guiding and encouraging marius). but when marius is telling his story, mc notes that:

the wording here nagged at me, because it felt so familiar. and i realized that mc notes something similar in marius' personal story 4, after marius opens up after nearly dying as a child because he was locked in a basement freezer, which, sidenote, im never getting over how fucked up that is!! marius are yOU OKAY???

mc was also hella concerned as i was, and notes the manner in which marius tells her about this:

theres two more examples i want to bring up.

in SSR Sweet Wonders (marius' dreams of childhood card), marius opens up about how, due to the psychological impact of him blaming himself for his mother's death, he got really sick for a while as a child. mc once again notes on how he tells this story:

and last example, SSR All Through The Night (marius' xmas partyland card). i dont have a screenshot for that because what i wanna add from there is speckled across the entire story:

mc learns about a picture book marius had drawn when he was a child, one that told the story that parelleled his own journey to learning about why his mother died.

whats my point here? that on many moments where marius recalls and explains very heavy things on his past, theres two things that stuck out to me.

first, the calm, collected demeanor. and second, the concept of him telling a story, one that belongs to someone else, one that he has detached himself from.

this peaks my interest for two reasons.

the "I'm Totally Over It" vibes

marius minimizes the concern that mc could possibly feel by masking any negative emotion he could possibly show.

this is hugely in line with how he is as whole, because he likes to present himself as carefree, light, easy-going, teasing and playful and nothing gets to him. tho by virtue of playing thru mc's perspective, we know this isnt true because marius' story themes are also chock full of the facades and personas he needs to don to survive as a public figure. marius had to learn how to be a good actor, and he succeeds, and this is again is super aligned with how he masks negative emotion with the mask of "i am unaffected by these objectively messed up experiences i had! This Doesn't Bother Me. I'm Totally Over It."

i found this interesting in contrast to luke. who also masks his negative feelings, but leans toward less of "This Doesn't Bother Me" and more of "no need to worry about that because it's Not Important." it's emotional minimization that could possibly leave room for "yeah, this maybe does bother me, but me being bothered is nothing of value."

but marius circumvents that process at the beginning by simply acting that he isnt even bothered in the first place.

now, this is something that maybe artem and vyn do too, but my knowledge of stories for them isnt as encyclopedic as my knowledge on luke ajhvfasjkhfvajsh so i wouldnt be able to accurately get a read on how they do on this sphere.

idk it's just cool to me to see the subtle variations in how the boys deflect and omit their vulnerabilities!

but back to the concept of "I'm Totally Over It", one way marius achieves this calm collectedness is through the next recurring commonality

the "story" involving the character who is separate from the storyteller

marius speaks of past experiences like hes a detached narrator telling another person's story. he even does this in an near-literal way with his picture book in SSR All Through The Night.

[EDIT TO ADD ONE MORE EXAMPLE of near-literal storytelling and distancing that was later pointed out by milkyway!anon: marius also does this in his very first character pv introduction, ever since the beginning

how he frames all this in his pv is pretty clearly in a playful storybook/bedtime story kinda way, both in the visual execution and writing. i always adored his character pv for being so different and cute and playful, but now in light of how The Rest Of What We Know and what i mentioned in the rest of this analysis, it's now way more interesting and...sad

i use this screenshot in particular detaching himself blatantly. while this part of the pv does this in regards to how the public sees him as a symbol instead of a being (and thus distancing who he is from like, his inherent Being A Person), marius also does it to himself by virtue of telling the story and walking away from it, albeit cutely, as he is a cat

heres the story. hes the narrator, and the character within the story is him but not him as well.]

in doing this, he once again seemingly relieves himself of any "bother" or negative emotions that he could experience, because all stuff that happened? it's not him. it's a character in a story, one that is not him and specifically separate from him because he is the one telling the story.

i fear im not making sense now (tho tbh when am i ever making sense jHVJSHDVFJ) but let me try and explain it through this post (which no longer exists on ops blog so i have to link my rb of it huhu) that shows a collection of quotes that hit the nail on the head, regarding this concept.

when you tell a story, as the storyteller, you are ultimately the one in control. part of being in control means that, if you know how to tell your story, you can ultimately lay all the details down while also leaving it, disconnecting from it, and distancing from it.

distance, imo, is the most fitting word to me, for how marius goes about his heavier experiences.

he distances from the emotions he felt and could possibly still be feeling, he distances from the fact that it was him who went through it, and he distances from mc's worry that could happen as a response.

of course, since mc is the best and an angel, she always takes the time to reassure marius that shes here for him and that hes not alone, that shes with him every step of the way (both him as the "character" he is Not in his stories and the person he Is in the present)

still, it's really fascinating on a characterization level that distancing and detaching is marius' go-to method. hes already somebody that has so many layers of facades and "different" selves, and here he is once more creating another self:

one that didnt go through all of what he went through.

#tears of themis #tot spoilers #marius von hagen #tot marius #lu jinghe

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey, cas

so, i kind of wanted to rant a bit, but theres a few things in here i know could get people riled up so honestly im a little nervous sharing this. i also want to preface it by saying that i am NOT hating on any fics i name here, they are just well-known examples and fics that the fandom hold close

as a fic writer myself, i love adding my own little headcanons to characters. sometimes theyre hcs ive seen from someone else and loved, and other times ive thought of them myself. in the latter case, ill often then see that someone else thought of it too, which is really cool!

but then there comes the hcs that people see and think "oh! thats from x fic!" for example, if you bring up dyslexic remus to most marauders fans, theyre gonna talk about atyd. ive never read the fic myself, its not my taste, but ive heard a lot of things about it and it does honestly sound like a great fic so genuinely no hate towards it. but i hc remus as dyslexic and i did so before learning that atyd has dyslexic remus, and any time i consider putting that hc into one of my fics all i can think about is that people will see it and talk about atyd. maybe theyll say i was copying or stole the idea. maybe theyll compare the two and decide the way i depict it isnt as good. maybe ill end up accidentally using a similar or the same thing for remus to have aiding him, for example a spell or something one of his friends do, and ill be told im plagiarising, and i absolutely hate that.

another example is best friends brother. its such a well known fic in the fandom that anyone who writes anything similar is going to be compared to it. or crimson rivers; anyone who writes a hunger games au (even if its not even remotely similar to cr) is going to be told theyre trying to copy. i love both bfb and cr but i wish people could accept that two writers can have the same idea without copying or trying to recreate/steal it

one of my current ongoing fics has the same central trope as another big fic in the fandom (i dont want to reveal which, because i dont want to risk being de-anoned) and i went out of my way to avoid reading the big fandom fic until ive finished writing my own because im so terrified that if theres even a single vague similarity i might get called out and told im copying

i want to say im just being paranoid, but i cant. i hate that the fandom has come to the point where authors have to bring something out that absolutely noone has ever done before ever just so that they dont get told theyve taken the idea from someone else. even if they had, its perfectly normal and fine to be inspired by an idea to make it your own! obviously actual plagiarism is not okay and should be called out, but theres a difference between plagiarism and just having a similar idea or hc

going back to my original point (because this was where my frustrations with this started) i hate that dyslexic remus will always be seen as an atyd thing, when it isnt. again, no hate to the fic or the author, this isnt an attack on them at all, its just unfortunate that the fandom has kind of taken it so much as canon that anything will always be compared to it, if that makes sense?

tldr: let me have dyslexic remus without telling me im copying atyd! let me have him use magic or have his friends do little things to help him without telling me i stole it from atyd!

sorry about that cas haha, i realise its a bit long. it just really really frustrates me to no end, yknow?

Hi!

Yes, I can definitely see what you're saying. I think if something is inspired by another fic (i.e. you read CR and then you're like...oh, I wanna write a Hunger Games AU) it's good to give credit where it's due by saying "inspired by x." But in a fandom with thousands of fics, the same ideas are bound to come up even without having read other fics. If people accuse you of copying and you genuinely haven't, I would just let them yell. People are always going to have negative things to say, you know?

#ask #asks #ask cas

[haleigh-sloth]

but im a hero stan????? i like the villains sure but i dont care about them. i just think hori wrote the story sometimes in a way that MIGHT maybe fool some ppl into thinking that some of the villains (shigaraki, stain) have something to say abt the corrupted society and could try change it in their own violent ways (no offense but thats how a revolution works) and some of yall go like "yeah no they just wanna die and not do shit" unironically as if ppl not liking it was wrong lol

I'm gonna have to break this down because there is a lot here.

"i just think hori wrote the story sometimes in a way that MIGHT maybe fool some ppl into thinking that some of the villains (shigaraki, stain) have something to say abt the corrupted society and could try change it in their own violent ways (no offense but thats how a revolution works)"

The story didn't fool anybody. It was our wishful thinking. I can very honestly look back at the manga and see that, nowhere in the text does it imply that the villains are seeking any actual change. Tomura has the right reasons for his anger, but he has not once channeled it into a productive outcome (AFO has a lot to do with this). His first goal was to just...KILL All Might?? And he attacked a high school to do this, with the intention of killing the kids. Already, right off the bat, you know that this character is not thinking in terms of solutions, just in terms of anger (justified anger). I'm sorry but it's not on Horikoshi that people took that as an attempt to reform shit.

You bring up that violence is often involved in revolutions, and you are right. But comparing this:

to a revolution geared toward accomplishing something is just, wildly off the mark. No offense to you, but just opting to kill everybody is NOT how a revolution works, actually. The comparison is not good, so I'm really not going to even dwell on that little comment because it's not worth the discussion.

I can get where there might have been some inkling of hope for a reformative idea on the League's part, and I can't deny I was in that bandwagon too. But when I became frustrated with the manga not focusing on the League that way, I had to readjust my reading. And it was not hard to see that it was just MY wishful thinking. Because that's exactly what it was.

I think a lot of people really forgot this scene in chapter 222. Or like, they discount it as irrelevant now. But no, this scene onward has embodied Tomura's entire character.

"Destroy. It. All."

Look, I've also participated in the "the League are the protagonists of the story" shit too. But again, wishful thinking. They are not the protags, and when they kill and destroy, they are never framed in a positive light. The only time they are framed as the protags is during MVA, when they are attacked and are fighting for survival. And I mean, Tomura winning the fight against ReDestro was a technical win, but for his development as a person it was very detrimental to him in so many ways. They were the protags of that arc, but that arc was so much negative development for them, which should be very telling about what their positions in the story are.

The closest they've gotten to a "revolution" type of reaction was the heteromorph riots--and even then they were written to attack a hospital full of patients and hospital staff trying to help people. So again, their actions can't be backed up and it wasn't portrayed as a solution to literally anything.

"and some of yall go like "yeah no they just wanna die and not do shit" unironically as if ppl not liking it was wrong lol"

Sorry but this is like, exactly how they've been written from the get go. Maybe you don't particularly care, but the villain fandom doesn't want to grasp this.

It isn't ironic because literally--that's who they are.

Do I even need to point out that Touya is canonically suicidal? How is Touya supposed to reform anything if he's dead lmao. There is no valid explanation to somehow twist his actions into something that produces a solution.

Again, it's not about whether people like it or not. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that parroting the very safe criticism of "it's bad writing" is just lazy. It rids people of acknowledging that they either misinterpreted the text, got lost in headcanons, or straight up just don't like that it didn't go the way they wanted--which is a frustrating thing to admit, so everyone just resorts to "omg bad writing".

It's not bad writing for NOT delivering on shit that was never promised.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #anonymous #bnha asks #bnha critical #league of villains

[waywardsou2]

REALLY QUICK. I TAKE REQUESTS FOR MOOD BOARDS

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New master post because the old one is broken

About me!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Wayward (not irl obviously. Though I wish) Just some basic information *ahem* I'm transmasc, androgenous (masc leaning), omniflux (but mostly mlm). Kinda complicated, yeah, but aren't we all. My pronouns are He/Him (main) Xe/Xir (trialing neos) They/Them (for my more 'who cares about gender' mood). I haven an extensive list here 👉: Pronoun card.

Other random info about me :) I'm an aspiring author (my ao3 here 👈) and self-taught artist.

I have an TMNT AU I'm currently writing/designing. Find that here 👈

I'm also a Punk (in clothing and in ideologies and less so in music. yk just deal with it, it's the spirit that counts)

I'm also a monster fucker -I mean what? Who said that?

My beliefs are centered in Nordic Witchcraft, so no hate or I will bring down the might of Thor on your head. You've been warned. But if you are gonna play nice you can find me here 👈.

I'm quite odd so if that bothers you then don't stick around. I'm never in the mood to fight so don't even try it. Oh also, I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent (probably autistic) and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Although I'm pretty good now-a-days.

This blog is mainly for my shit posting, doom scrolling, fandom shenanigans, hyper fixations and it's my main. Everything else I do branches off into its own blog. Kinda like blog children. Bloglins you could even call them. (I'm coining that term. Mine now) My current hyper fixations are TMNT and HTTYD.

I LOVE GETTING ASKS. I have a few ask games I'm happy to do so I'll link them 👈. I usually answer within a day or two so please send them in. They are so much fun and I love interacting with communites . My DM's are also open if you just wanna chat in general or have any questions you want to ask not publically (for reasons).

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If you are an alter/non human follow me here

As I'm sure most of you can relate to this I really dont see why I need to say it but it's the internet so you can never be too careful. But I'm really attached to a lot of fictional characters from many franchises and if I ever post about them please be nice. Even if you dont like them or the potential discourse around them. Just be decent ok? They can be found here 👈

Now that I've told you about me there are some ground rules to go over for my corner of the internet.

No harassment, bullying, discourse or anything of that nature belongs here. This is a Peaceful blog alright? I dont want none of that shit 🫵

No terfs, no homophobes, no transphobes, no zoophiles, no pedofiles (you are not MAPS ok, fuck off), no incest shippers, no anti-lgbt of any kind, no bigots, no conservative Christians, no religion haters (there is a balance), or anti-alter humanity of any kind. I think you get the idea but if I get even a hint that any of you people are lurking you will get tossed out like the trash you are. IMMIDEITLEY 🖕

No dark jokes or snides at mental health, it's tough shit and people dont need any more negativity to deal with. I will fucking report you if you ever do anything of the sort on my blog.

And finally no drama or discourse. seriously no one has the time or energy for that esspecially me. Just dont ok? 👎

I have a few personal tags and may add more when need arises but if your looking for something in particular you may find them with these tags

#wayward rants

# wayward rambles

#wayward asks

#wayward rambles

# helpful reblogs

# waywards wallflower AU

#waywards art

!!!SHOUT OUT TO MY MOOTS!!!

@neonleons-posts @small-spiderpunkboy @fireflysquidsoup @ghosts-in-the-outfield @promiscuousbarnes @waywardsarah @corrupt-touch @dissapointedcreeper @regulusblackisamermaid

I have another Master Post type post so anything that isn't here will be there. It's kinda like a less detailed pt 2 to this post. You can find that here 👈. And if for some reason you want to see the old Master Post, I am gonna keep it up so you can find that here 👈

That's all for now folks hope you have fun whilst visiting my blog.

#welcome #welcome to my corner of the internet #welcome to my blog #punk #artists #writer #a03 #a03 writer #ao3 #tmnt #httyd #master post #pinned post #tmnt au #dni #lgbt #trans #safespace #alterhumanity

[ajdrawshq]

Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)

UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok

as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?

i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course

on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends

sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!

the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame

OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique

HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))

also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!

as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!

aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!

#this started as me actually answering ur question n evolved into me gushing abt whatever i could get away with without revealing anything;; #literally started shaking as soon as u sent this i got so excited skgcjsbksns #(guy whos still reeling from writing several essays in 72 hour timeframe voice) i need to write an essay length post on this #i think i said a few words way too often here but im too tired to think abt that. head empty #also as a side note it works perfectly on my shitty computer that has trouble running 3ds emulator stuff so i can guarantee ur good there #theres SO MUCH i wish i could say but its either spoilers or hints too much at things that could lessen the experience. alas #it does have its flaws as all games do but its so worth it. so so worth it. im considering 100%ing it bc i just cant be done with it yet #OH its also on itchio if youd rather get it there #if ur not willing to put money into it bc u dont wanna waste it i will legit let u sign into my steam accoutn and download i am so serious #there IS a demo. but i actually recommend not playing it first. this will make things easier in the long run #ANYWAY!!!!!!! THANK U FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 #ask #mortellanarts

[donnerpartyofone]

man i hope this isnt weird and i know its a little weird but ive followed you for a while and feel a deep kindred spirit with you. i know its only parasocial and we arent mutuals so its all good but like some of the things you post resonate with me so deeply and you articulate things abt yourself that i also feel abt my self but you articulate them better than i ever could. also we have very similar hair but i usually weird mine buzzed but when it grows out it looks a lot like yours and you rock it in ways i never feel confident enough to do. idk i just saw your post abt being a bad person but not in the ways ppl think you are and thats like something i think to myself all the time like i wish ppl who think im good knew i was bad and ppl who think im bad knew how wrong they were abt the ways im bad. and things youve posted abt being a stupid person and having ppl be like "youre not" resonate too bcuz its like im painfully PAINfully aware of my own stupidity and bumbling thru like but my loved ones dont want me to think that way or acknowledge it but i think there is something truly liberating in knowing i am inherently dumb in a lot of ways and to a lot of things and i have to work harder to live a good life bcuz of it. idk. im doing a bad job of explaining myself here. but anyways. i just wanna say thanks for putting your thoughts on this website for me to follow and keep doing you, bcuz youre doing it great.

Well I hope it's not weird for me to post this, I suppose it is anonymous after all; it feels kind of private to me but also I am also having a freakishly difficult couple of weeks and it was meaningful to hear someone say "I know what you're talking about." (I think you are speaking very clearly btw) I feel like a lot of the rhetoric society uses to address people who have depression is devised by people who don't suffer from it, like there's a lot of language about how "you're not alone" and a lot of idealizing talk about how great the self-denigrating sufferer appears to others, and that's nice and all but it kind of dismisses the individual's own personal experience of themselves. A person is more complex than their need for extra hugs or attention or something, and a person's perception of themselves/experience of having to be with themselves is not contingent on the perceptions of others even if the external impressions are positive. I don't know, I hate to shit on supportive behaviors but a lot of them are basically dismissive of a person's status as the de facto expert on themselves; I don't really think it's ultimately helpful to make people feel like they don't know what they're talking about, about their own selves. It can be maddening actually, and idealizing talk in particular has a way of suggesting that things have to be great for them to be at all acceptable. Which is really oppressive to tell the truth.

Interlude: In grade school my best friend's class had to do this exercise where they made acronyms of of their first names using various personal qualities, and the teachers gave her shit because for the letter A she used Adequate, and they thought this was, like...bad and had to be corrected.

Anyway I have always written very obsessively and I think it's related to wanting to be understood. Which is not the same thing as wanting to be appreciated, or wanting to feel not-alone. I think I just want someone to say they know what I'm talking about, instead of telling flattering lies or suggesting that something is wrong to say or dismissable just because it seems negative or painful. As if discomfort is automatically invalidating. Someone asked me recently if I journal and I laughed because I've done it all my life, and also because I actually have a SACK of journals under my bed, one regular one, one for dreams, one that's about my dysfunctional relationship with money and materials, etc. And then there's my various blogs of course. I have a couple of semi-pro writing projects going too that I hope I get to announce soon. But it's really all about just the fantasy of articulating something so carefully, preferably in ink (or "ink"), that no one can possibly pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about ever again.

It's funny that we wear our hair the same. I used to wear it half-shaved but my hair grows so fast, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But on that note I must say that whatever pictures of me you see are like 1/1000, I find it very hard to take a picture I'm satisfied with and I often just wind up feeling embarrassed, but ultimately I think I'm just trying to fix some positive mental image of myself even though I know we're all different people at different hours of each day. I dunno. Actually it becomes problematic because a couple of people are always telling me how "photogenic" I am and then I'm like WHY DID IT TAKE ME THREE HOURS TO GET THIS ONE SHOT THEN, and they refuse to believe me when I explain how many pictures I throw out. They think they're doing me a big favor by pretending everything is effortless for me. I have especial problems with my hair, probably every picture you see of me was anxiously snapped at some exact moment when it was behaving! So don't worry, I'm having a really hard time with my appearance basically always. Pictures other people take of me are mortifying, and I'm always like FUCK, that's what they think is a good, representative photo of me? Uh oh. Pictures I take of myself are usually taken in an emergency in fleeting, ephemeral moments where I suddenly look ok to myself.

This morning I went to the church where I've been going since February, a beautiful place full of eccentric older people I have fallen a little in love with. Sometimes I'm tempted to actually convert to Catholicism, like maybe that would be the gothest thing I could do, but I know that I will always believe in abortion and the right to suicide and I'm not too sure about hell or the historical Jesus or papal authority. I just really like it in this specific church. This morning one of the oldest ladies who goes on the weekdays like me introduced herself, she was very sweet and she was wearing hoops that were styled like chains, I don't think she realized they were bad bitch earrings, they just looked nice on her. She said it was nice to see "young people" getting involved with the church, and I wanted to tell her I turned 42 last week, but I might still be the youngest person there! When I met some of the other folks last month they told my husband that he looked like Geraldo Rivera, and then remarked that they thought we were too young to be aware of Geraldo. I told them we're old enough, we're just packed in our own oil. Anyway this is my big excuse to post selfies I was struggling with, I feel more conflicted about them these days, but I guess I'm still compelled. Thanks so much for your understanding, and have a good night!

#gpoy #anon #that's not my house #it's my husband preparing to roast weenies for me #long post #star of the sea

[dreamyangeldoll]

hi, its the one thats scared of their femininity. im happy you understand, but im also so sorry. cause it's confusing and no one should be mocked for how they choose to present/act.

for me the sense of wrongness is very ingrained in my character, cause growning up older woman always told me if i was too "girly", no one would take me seriously.

i want to wear frilly pink dresses and have all my stuffies on display, but i dont want to be infantalized or called immature.

i didnt spend all that money on a good education to be told "girly = dumb"

im just scared of being seen for what my interests seem to sterotype, and not for who i am.

and im not completely sure this is making sense since english is not my firat language but i tried :)

First of all, english isn’t my first language either and even if it was, I wouldn’t mind any mistakes (and your english seems great anyway!!) .

Second of all, the people who told you that growing up have simply portrayed their own insecurities and fears onto you just like someone probably did with them in the past. I understand why you’re worried, other people’s opinions (or more so the fear of potential opinions) are what’s keeping me from doing a lot of things. Things like that can be a real barrier in terms of expressing yourself. I could write a whole essay on that because I completely get it but I’m gonna try to keep it as short as possible: you are not defined by what you wear (unless that’s what you want). At least not entirely because back when I went to school wearing those types of clothes, that did say one thing about me: I finally got over that one specific fear and just did what I wanted to do in that regard and that was great. So let me reword that…wearing stuff like that will not define you in any negative way?

To be fair, I had already been the very opposite of popular before I did that so maybe that’s why it was a bit easier for me…not like I had anything to lose lol. However, I should’ve done it regardless of my popularity!! You’re precious, you’re smart, you’re all the good things you wanna be and the color or style of your clothes will not change that. I know you should never do stuff for others, you’re not in this world to prove people wrong but if you’re scared that’s what they’re gonna think, might as well show them that your clothes have absolutely nothing to do with what you’re capable of. I know that’s not the perfect motivation but I just want you to be happy. When I started going to uni, I stopped wearing any sort of cutesie clothes outside, too. My style had changed a lot but I was also told that wearing that stuff to university would not look great. I was super annoyed because WHY would people care about what I wear, it’s none of their business. Lollll, I said I’d keep it short, idek where I’m going with this, I just hope you’ll figure out what would make you the happiest and will be able to do just that. <3 also, feel free to dm me (if you’re comfortable with that), I’m here for u!!

#💌

[wc-confessions]

I don’t want so say I don’t want discussion about my comic (the comic is literally meant to start discussion, thats what its for) and imply that I think I’m like, above criticism or anything because I’m certainly not. I wont ask you to delete the old stuff and I don’t really want you to because there’s good discussion there!

But like, in future cases, like you said in your tags it’d probably be best to keep talk about specific people vague or nonexistent, unless there’s genuine evidence of them doing something nasty (alla sagutoyas) because it can be kind of jarring coming to a tumblr blog and seeing people talk about you like you’re a display at a museum instead of a person, y’know? I don’t think you or even most of the people that sent in asks meant ill and I don’t hold anything against you!!! It was just kind of weird and gross feeling.

Again I deeply appreciate your thoughtful and kind responses, it was a very pleasant surprise, esp after og anon basically indirectly accused me of zoophilia. That’s an absolutely awful thing to say about someone with no basis other than “they talk about sex and that makes me uncomfortable.” Thank you so much again for being responsible, respectful and kind about all this!!! I have a lot of respect for you for doing so, with both this and other situations I’ve skimmed through here.

King Mystrie put my intentions w the comic into words very well; tiptoeing around the topic of sexual abuse doesn’t do anything good for anybody except for predators themselves.

If anyone has concerns about the way I write my story I’m happy to discuss that, just come to me on my deviantART and talk to me instead of accusing me of horrible things on tumblr. (Directed at og anon, not you, blog owner)

Sorry it took a second to respond, I have Symptoms Syndrome so I’ve like reread my own ask like ten times to try and make sure it comes across how I want it to lol

i already have a rule that states id rather people vauge and ive been ignoring talk about creators (with the exception of their work unless the ask is inciting harassment or bullying). ive had people tell me its weird in the past so im doing my best to try to detect when asks cross a boundary but its also hard because im easy to react and often dont really understand what people mean when they say certain things. dont wanna say mainly bc of autism but perhaps people on the internet dont always get their feelings or point across well through text, like sometimes you cant get the same benefits from irl convo than text. but yea i think its my fault for even entertaining the anon before anything. i feel im not the best at handling that kind of stuff but i am open to criticism it helps me immensely bc i dont want this blog to be like negative i want people to have fun and talk about stuff they like too. thank you for this and you seem like a really nice person!

#not a confession #text #asks #nitethekitten

[ketavinsky]

right back at you then: are there any facts about your guy that aren't in wolf pup/that you could elaborate on !

@prince-of-noir hm this is. this is actually a little bit of a loaded question aye bc i have actually put way too much lore into this dude since i started wolf pup ashhsdhdhs lemme just chuck a read more here

noah xie is mixed, white + singaporean-chinese. he's a law school dropout who essentially figured that because he's so into philosophy and poetry and writing huge fuckoff dissertations about a Few Select Opinions that he'd be a great lawyer. unfortunately, he doesn't exactly have the uhh. appropriate ethics for it.

my guy is a huge collector. my tag for him on this tumblr is at cad (as in, ketavinsky.tumblr.com/search/cad, i was kind of calling him cadmium dallas in my head for a while, only because cadmium dallas is for some reason the placeholder name i use for all my prototype RELIGIOUS FREAK ocs, and i'm reluctant to let go of it now that i have the perfect religious freak oc. i'm just gonna say that cadmium dallas is his online alias... it's probably his twitter handle or something) if you're interested to see his aesthetic - i kinda wanna call it trinketcore? he's really into jewellery, embellishing and bedazzling and altering and uhh mutilating any piece of clothing he gets his hands onto, antiques, trinkets, souvenirs, FRIDGE MAGNETS. when he's at home he pretty much just sits on the floor because every flat surface he owns is just covered in bullshit and he has One (1) friend who isn't the kind of person to clean up after him even if she does love him dearly

god all he eats is candy. i know i touch on this briefly but pretty much all he eats is candy.

his favourite youtube account is channel 5. yes this is relevant. i dont know how but it is

he's like. 5'9? this isn't really relevant but i feel like i really emphasise how Small he is when i write him. he's really not that small he just has the worst posture ever. has a terminal case of gay people don't know how to sit properly as well

carries all his precious things with him wherever he goes. he's really into clothes with flowy/net-like material or sturdy canvas textures so he can cover them in literal hundreds of earrings, badges, brooches, pins, and he'll take them out of his clothes and stick them through his ears throughout the day. he truly values personal expression and believes that his own body is a doodle book for the story of his life. this is also why he tends to spend literally thousands of dollars on tattoos and then eat nothing but free sauces from fast food places and instant ramen for months

people that he admires/adores bring out the simpering sycophant in him, and he's a good friend if he warms up to you, but make no mistake, dude is not a pleasant person to be around. he has Very Specific Opinions about certain things, as well as a huge disdain for stuff like politics, social media, etc, and he doesn't have the social battery to engage with anyone he disagrees with. he won't even argue. he just leaves the room. he's overall a pretty quiet guy, and gosh he loves to talk about anything he's interested in, and he loves to teach people things and share opinions, but the moment someone tries to open a debate or even some friendly banter with him, he'll instantly check out.

a pure hedonist, obsessed with experiencing as many things as possible, including the negative. very good at putting a spin on all the objectively Bad Shit that happens to him to make it fun and exciting and new. the friend who goes "OMG GUESS WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY!!" and then spends 20 minutes gushing about like. the most fucked up experience ever.

this is mostly because of his upbringing, sorry to say. and this is where i pull out the family tree jashdhs

kiri is noah's half-brother; whereas noah is canonically around 21/22, kiri is 32. noah's mother, a huge horror movie buff conspiracy theorist and lovecraft enjoyer, disappeared when he was about 11, and noah was sent to live with kiri.

kiri is bound to the entity night (i also have a tag for him, btw! it's at, as u can imagine, /search/night, the rest of them also have tags at day, dusk, dawn, twilight. actually yeah everyone on this chart has a tag what am i saying. this is my oc inspiration tumblr. lol) as his human servant

night, the star-eater, the god of the oil slick serpent that snakes from the gutter in dark, is an entity who is primarily concerned with wisdom and abstraction, and as a result has a lot of humans who make pacts with him for knowledge or explanation of certain fucked up arcane things

kiri, being one of those people who's contracted into his thrall, was always around a whole heap of Fucked Up Shit when noah was growing up. noah's early childhood with his mother already gave him some... interesting ideas about the things that lurk beyond human perception, but it was being exposed to the aftershocks of the eldritch horrors kiri was dealing with for work that really cemented this.

noah never had a chance to be a 'normal kid' per se, but he maybe could've at least become a semi-functional adult if not for what he saw through kiri. these things are beautiful are the only truth are everything. additionally, kiri's tacit demeanour and tough/cruel love treatment definitely exacerbated noah's need for codependency and constant validation to the point of toxicity

but, y'know. he is a good guy overall despite his... many faults. or a kind guy? either way, he's not even really involved in this fuckshit cosmic opera so that part of canon has been nuked and now he's uhh. he's uhhhh got the worst boyfriend in the world.

oh, and he's a lucid dreamer!

really big into surfing and dancing, especially in techno contexts (will take any excuse to muzz. any excuse), and really just any high-energy or aerobic sport. if he hadn't been such a huge stoner through all of highschool he probably could have made it as a semi-professional sprinter. alas......

will never survive in a hospitality job because he physically cannot pretend to like people at all

his favourite colours are yellow and turquoise :)

#HAEFADHDHSHDHAHSHSDHASH #cad #sorry. this is so long. SORRY....... #he is now my special boy. id do anything for him #aw man i have so much work to do ajshhdhdhdhahshgadhsah OK YEAH HOPE THATS AT LEAST SOME COOL FACTS #prince of noir #prince-of-noir #how do i fucking. tag this

[millimononym]

The Attackers

here are Venus and Brambles, the attackers of my OC team! (i don’t have a name for the team yet. names are hard). Also if you remember the first oc post and remember the guys name and are wondering, yes, everyone in the team is named and has their looks based off plants. this drawing kinda looks weird cuz i drew the heads first like a dumbass

ANYWAY OC BACKSTORY/PERSONALITY TIME

so Venus is like...one of the only decent people in the entire team(don’t get used to it). She’s very energetic,bubbly and sweet. She also eats a lot. She grew up as the oldest sister in a poor household with a single mom and multiple siblings. As she’s an adult now(early 20′s) the responsibility of caring for her siblings falls on her as her mom is in the hospital. She uses the money she earns as a footballer to pay for her mom’s hospital bills and care for her siblings. She’s incredibly stressed (as you can see from her antennae,they droop when someone is feeling negative emotions) but tries to seem happy in front of everyone because she believes showing negative emotions will rub off on people and she doesn’t want that. She puts other people’s needs before her own because she likes seeing people happy. She doesn’t like conflict but CAN and WILL beat someone (cough cough BRAMBLES cough) up if they’re hurting kids. Dated Brambles at one point...i don’t know how that happened but i’m glad that’s over with

Brambles. This motherfucker. Actual alien equivalent of Ricegum. Going from talking about Venus to talking abt him is giving me whiplash. Absolute ASSHOLE. 0 redeeming qualities. anyway i should probably talk abt him now. He’s the brother of the teams’ backup player and Sugarcane’s cousin. He’s the oldest out of 4 siblings and is an absolutely horrible brother if you were wondering. Grew up in a rich household and is a spoiled brat. No wonder his father left (oh yeah btw his dad left lol). Regularly makes fun of the backup player(his youngest brother, who is SIXTEEN BY THE WAY) for having mental problems and attachment issues (HMMM I WONDER WHAT COULD’VE CAUSED THOSE. probably not LIVING IN A LOVELESS HOUSEHOLD WITH AN ASSWIPE OF A BROTHER). He’s even worse later but i’m not gonna spoil it. How did he manage to date someone as sweet as Venus. I have no clue. I don’t wanna talk about him anymore, his personality is draining to the brain. If he was a real person i’d spit on him

[[EDIT/UPDATE 19.8.2022: ok so i’m not really good at making my stories(i mostly make characters and specific scenes) but Brambles was a pretty barebones guy, even for me. Wasn’t much to him besides being his brothers abuser and being a disappointment to his family. So i wanted to flesh out his character a little more i guess (that’s a lie it came to me completely randomly while listening to music lol.(the music was Splitter Girl by weevildoing and Kareshi No Jude by syudou if u were wondering)).

This might change but as of now some things are added: Brambles was a child who took his familys’ neglect as any rational child would: By developing extremely violent tendencies to harm himself, and every other creature unlucky enough to be near him! ...yay. Frequent victims include animals(who he definitely murdered, by the way) and his youngest brother(hope i introduce him soon so i can stop calling him just that cuz its weird). His other 2 siblings were too slippery for it i guess. Plus theres 2 of them so thats twice as many hands to throw at his face, which they did. TIMEJUMP TO THE PRESENT, i actually have a reason for Brambles and Venus breaking up besides him being an asshole: Cheating. Motherfucker cheated on her with a defender in the team(who i ALSO havent introduced HNNNGHHH) and also cheated on him with Venus because NEITHER OF THEM actually KNEW about the other dating their boyfriend, so technically they were both cheated on. It didnt go to well for our boy here,as you can imagine. Probably gonna need to add some scars to his design now lol(maybe the back? cuz im lazy and dont wanna change anything). So yea those are the changes for now byee]]

WELL OKAY that’s them alright. As one last thing u may have noticed: you can see in the picture that they’re wearing matching collars. That’s actually part of the teams uniform (which i forgot to include in Sugarcane’s reference pic like a dumbass). Each position has a different color and the attackers one is red! A shame Venus has to share the position with Brambles but what can you do.

#galactik football #GF OCs #original character #my art stuff

[tinytrucks]

I've got no choice but to sit and wait now. I've got to wait for the low income apartment complex to potentially contact me, thats a couple months at least. I'm thinking at LEAST two (?) months. Hopefully only two. I don't want to wait much longer than that. If I could move out right now I would. It feels like I shouldn't still be doing laundry, doing dishes, helping with the kids and etc. I was broken up with, there feels like there should be some sort of separation with that but there hasn't really been one at all beyond no "I love you"s or kisses. Thats actually all that we dont do thats relationship like. I suppose we don't hold hands and such so there's that. Anyway, I really wanna get outta here. Its not that I feel any huge negative thing being here, he is a good guy and I no longer feel any sort of...like... anger or resentment toward him or anything it just feels like with my own space will come a huge sigh of relief and sort of a weight off my shoulders even though I know its gonna be a huge struggle no matter what. I just wish I could inject some patience into my body. I just dont know quite how long I have to wait for the low income people to call me back. It could be ages to be honest. There is no real time line so what in the world am I supposed to go off of? Maybe whatever apartment I sign the lease to I can just go month to month. I know the rent is usually more when you do that though. Wonder what the penalty for breaking the lease would be because that's more likely what I'd have to do.

You know what man? Thank goodness I thought of this place to let out these random words cuz I have no idea where else I could let this stuff out. Its just random thoughts and there is literally no one else I could talk to about these types of things to. I suppose I never really had someone to talk about these types of things to. The random stuff. It was never him. It was sort of my best friend, I could talk to him about random stuff but not too often. So this is good, I'm glad I found this again.

So right now its near the end of January, I've got to wait, if I'm being honest with myself, till probably April to move out. Ugh that feels so incredibly far away. Literally it makes me want to throw up. Especially knowing I'm paying bills and such that I could NOT be paying. But I also very much do not want to go back to living with my parents. How do I explain to my parents that I dont want to live with them? Especially when it makes financial sense to live with them lol I just dont want to..../emotionally?/ ...live with them? I dont even know if that how to describe it. I just really badly don't want to live with them again. I want to go from this space to my own space. Whether that's low income or regular it doesn't matter to me. The thing is...I could save hundreds or dollars if I get the low income one. ARGGSDF!! Idk what to do!!! No one can make the decision for me, truly this time. Wowza. And this time people are actually waiting on the decision. Well, I mean, I'm still waiting on the people to call me back but yakno they're also waiting on me to make a decision.

Anyway, I think that's all for now. I want to keep writing just to get the sludge out but there doesn't seem to be any other words particularly. See you later. self.

[bonkietarot]

hey msbonkah! how are you doing?

Tbh i saw your reply earlier but when i did i thought to myself that i should absorb wholely what you have said and then reply to thank you.

I dont just wanna thank you for your response, but also for your encouragement, and believing in me. I took some more time to reflect. I also believe in God so, i asked for clearance too and guess what? I'm feeling a lot better, a sense of relief even.

I realized that i had stopped validating myself, that was when it felt like hell. I also kinda hated myself for other reasons, which kinda made me believe that i *should not* deserve the good. Which was why i lost my sense of security, and i spiralled towards absorbing other beliefs which i deep down knew wasnt what i wanted, but kept persisting that it *had* to be true because it was a way i wanted to punish myself🤦‍♀️. It sounds crazy, but i went as far as to believe in anything that didnt help me at all. For instance, if i saw someone's tragedy i would have subconsciously thought what would make me have it too, as well as what unwanted things i want to do to avoid having em. You get the idea.

But now i'm like? It's not ever the *things* or the *rational causes* of things that are inherently good or bad, it's the power we give to something that makes us or breaks us. Right now at this point, i couldnt give a single f if im doing tongue posture right, no f if im supposed to have super wide teeth for health reasons etc, if these things have instead helped people then id be glad it worked out to their benefit. However, i avoid any mindset that subscribes to any particular belief that bad things have to happen to them unless xyz. It personally was what held me back from being content and chances are, i would have probably never been too paranoid about it manifesting if i never even discovered online forums of various topics. And id probably keep my faith and move on. Simple.

I also dont believe that what i find bad here has to be universally bad, in the process of figuring out which works for me or doesnt i dont want to impose any limiting beliefs from my part to your readers too btw. These are just my personal feelings, and doesnt have to be *canon* if it won't suit to others convictions, and i dont even wanna explain any of my limiting beliefs in detail ever as i know it would serve neither. It would be correct to say that me having a bad experience with any technique or method will not make it bad if anyone does follow em which im sure they do. But as people we should all have hope as well as contentment with what we already possess, without going over a 1000 ways to break ourselves from either keeping it protected or renewing it, and believe in what we do for our own good as long as we know its enough.

To end this, id love to say huge kudos to you, your concise, clear posts really do help and i wish the best for your success in your blogs and life. You are inspiring and you choose to believe in someone like me when i couldnt even believe in myself. May God keep u blessed. Xoxo

Hello! I am doing well and I am glad that you are doing better. Faith is what we all really need and I believe that the majority has overcomplicate it into extra steps that we ‘’need’’ when we always had been doing it in our ways. I am glad as a content creator that I gave you a space to open yourself up to me, it really means a lot and says a lot about my leadership and most importantly the relationship that I have with my peers. Just a quick reminder, just because you see someone else negatively experience something doesn’t mean it would happen to you. Even if it does happen, your approach matters. Like previously, you took the approach to reflect which also inspired me. Thank you so much and may God bless you.