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brain-rot-central · 4 months

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Sonnet of the Lone Cardinal

A/N: This is a working title. I reserve the right to change it going forward, lol. This is also my first AA fic! Can't believe it took me this long. Also feel free to note any other tags I may have missed. I'll add them as I go.

Rating: E Word count: 5.1k Pairing: Ascended Astarion/Fem!Tav Warnings: 18+, post-canon, PiV sex, creampie, angst, stalking behavior, obsessiveness, possessiveness, manipulative behavior (overall A's not really the greatest in this), use of derogatory language (though not at anyone specifically), messy break-up, depictions of gore, break-up (maybe make-up?) sex

Summary: Astarion has performed the Rite, becoming someone unrecognizable. Tav leaves him after settling their business with the Netherbrain, refusing his proposition to become his consort. She uses these last 6 months to heal her broken heart, mourning all they were and what they could have been. Hopefully all her hard work has paid off, because he's decided he wants her back and drops in for a visit.

♥ Next Chapter ♥ Link to Ao3

“It's awfully dangerous for such delectable morsels to leave their windows open this time of night.”

The whimsical voice comes from behind. With it, a rush of cold air sweeps through the quaint upstairs bedroom. Curtains lining the double panes of the front windows dance as the breeze blows in. Papers on the dresser scatter about the floor.

A young woman dressed in a sheer linen nightgown sits at her vanity, combing through her long red hair, when she freezes.

A familiar scent dances beneath her olfactory nerves - heady, rich, citrus. She breathes deeply, the warm spice of the cologne sweeping through her. Waves of heat pulse throughout her body as her ears pick up the sound of footsteps drawing closer.

With a sigh, the woman closes her eyes as the assailant reaches her position, their footsteps coming to a halt behind her.

It's him, she realizes. She’s never been more sure of anything else in her life.

Many months have passed since their last meeting. Passion burned as hot as an Infernal forge on that night. Promises of love, of pleasure, of power poured freely from their lips as their bodies intertwined. At that moment, she was prepared to give him everything - her life, her freedom, her body, soul.

She would have, had she not come to realize it was all an elaborate farce.

As she cracks open her eyes, daring to look up, the woman catches his reflection in the vanity mirror. With an audible gasp, it quickly dawns on her that this is the first time she’s seeing his face reflected in a glass pane.

Their eyes meet in the mirror, her chest suddenly heaving.

It is him.

And by the Gods, he's even more devastatingly handsome than she remembers.

“You never know what sort of monsters are out lurking the streets, hm?” he purrs, bringing his face close to her ear.

Assaulted once more by the warm spice of his cologne, her head spins.

“Astarion,” the woman whispers, nearly breathless. “What are you doing here?”

Craning his head, Astarion dips down into the nape of her neck, inhaling deeply. Her pulse quickens as he draws near, heart hammering away in her ribcage. His lips curl, fangs gleaming in the faint candlelight illuminating the room as his tongue sweeps over his teeth.

“I needn't an invitation to go where I please now, pet,” he pants against her neck.

A cold shudder shoots down her spine.

There was a time when her body would come alight from his many terms of endearment.

Darling, dear, sweet, pet, love.

Love.

“Nothing special, of course. You're only the first person I truly care for.”

His words echo in the far recesses of her mind. The words of her companion and partner, her lover… of a man who no longer exists.

That night in the ritual chamber, he changed.

The sound of the staff hitting the stone floor reverberates off ancient walls. Cazador and his spawn playing their parts, bound together in blood by the Rite. Astarion, levitating at the center, eyes burning red as an aura of blood envelops him. He's chanting the words - the Infernal seance that was once meant to be his end.

Her tongue lay heavy in her mouth. Words fly across her mind; desperate pleas begging him to reconsider, to stop this. None ever make it past her lips.

Suddenly, the spawn pop. One after the other.

Pop, pop, pop.

Astarion laughs, loud and boisterous, relishing the new found power that comes with each death.

Finally comes Cazador's turn.

He screams - a true blood-curdling scream. The type you hear moments before a person knows death has come, all too late. His voice carries on as she stands in the chamber, helplessly watching Cazador succumb to the ritual. He bursts at the seams into a pile of pulverized matter, dripping onto the floor below, completely unrecognizable.

Then suddenly, the room is engulfed by a haunting silence.

The Ascension… is complete.

The aura around Astarion fades and he drops down onto the platform below his feet. He remains kneeling for a moment. The sound of his breathing is all that fills the chamber, companions too stunned to speak.

He rises, slowly turning to face their leader. Looking upon his face, she sees the horrible truth lay bare before her.

Her lover is no more.

She's mourned him, the promise of them, ever since that night. Cried tears until her head throbbed and her face swelled, cried until nothing but sleep could soothe the ache in her heart.

And here he stands behind her, a scowl littering his visage as their eyes meet yet again in the mirror.

Her heart pounds in her throat, tears welling at the corners of her eyes. She swallows, asking, “Why did you come here, Astarion?”

Astarion pulls himself back, taking a few paces away from the woman. Folding his arms over his chest, he replies, “My darling Tav, I've come to take you home.”

“Home? I am home,” insists Tav. Turning her body, still seated in her chair, she scans him over.

Moonlit curls sweep elegantly across his forehead, framing his face. Ruby gems glint in the dim light of the room. He's wearing a black and silver doublet, blood-red dragons delicately embroidered on the lapel. Every bit elegant and refined; elite.

Astarion's face softens. He draws closer again, Tav’s breath hitching as his hand cups her chin. Tilting her face up toward his, he states, “I've given you more than enough freedom.” He cranes his head, bringing his lips a breath above her own as he whispers, “Don't you think?”

The velvet grace of his voice makes her dizzy. Tav realizes she feels heat radiating off his skin as their faces draw closer in proximity; a stark contrast to his usual aura. Her face burns - a fire that quickly spreads down into her belly. Tav tries to speak but Astarion closes the distance, lips capturing hers in a delicate embrace. His kiss is soft, alluring, unhurried.

Gentle, she thinks to herself. He's being so gentle.

“Astarion-” she protests, logic returning to her as she breaks the kiss. Tav scans his face, drawing her head back. Heavy lids fall over his eyes as they transfix upon her lips. He’s hungry, in more ways than one.

She knows that look. It's the very same he'd give her night after night in his tent, when all he wished was to share his body with her. Instead, they'd find other ways to partake in the ecstacy of one another until they were left breathless and panting.

But that was long ago.

Astarion's tongue darts out to lick over his lips as he says, “A lord is nothing without his dearest consort.” He moves to kiss her again, but Tav quickly ducks out of reach. She stands, hands clenched in tight fists.

“No,” she insists, locking eyes with him. She furrows her brow. “I will not be made into your personal plaything!”

A chuckle rumbles from his chest. Astarion tilts his head, a smirk forming on his face. “‘Plaything?’” he reiterates. “Do you believe I think that little of you?” Astarion brushes his knuckles over Tav’s cheek. “My darling treasure,” he begins, “I have many playthings, though none are quite like you.”

Tav’s pupils blow wide.

Astarion means to make her jealous with talk of other lovers. He means to fill her mind with images of him making love to unknown beings. To make her think of him finding pleasure in others who are not her.

She will not rise to it.

“Your chosen harlots aren’t enough?” Tav sneers. “I thought Lord Astarion Ancunín had everything he desired?”

With a scoff, Astarion replies, “You don't get it, do you?” A twinge of impatience can be heard as he says, “You helped make me what I am. We are bound to one another, until the end of time.”

Tav shudders as his hands come up to hold her face. She pulls in a sharp breath, expecting the cold sting of death from his usual chilled palms. Yet, they're completely warm as they cradle her jaw. Another reminder that he is now very much changed. Alive. His cologne assaults her senses once more and her eyes flutter closed as she settles into the strange comfort of his touch.

“My heart will never stop calling for you,” Astarion speaks softly. “No other can satisfy that hunger.” He brushes over her bottom lip with the pad of a thumb and feels her tremble below him. “You are to be my consort, my bride,” he insists, voice stern but low. “That is your role in this.”

Tav falters beneath his touch, allowing herself to be walked back to the wall next to the vanity. Her hands come up to wrap around his wrists. “Such honeyed words,” she retorts. “If I didn't know any better, I'd actually believe you.” Her back connects with the wall and she gasps.

“Tav, look at me,” Astarion demands with urgency. She doesn't comply, turning her head to the side. Slipping a hand from her cheek to grasp her chin, he forcibly turns her head back toward his. “Look at me!” he spits again.

Hesitant to look upon Astarion’s face, Tav cracks her eyes open. Opening them fully, it's not anger that she finds there. Her stomach flips. No, not anger or even disappointment. Instead, she sees… vulnerability.

“I wish I could replace you. I’ve tried,” Astarion bites out through clenched teeth. His face falls as his eyes settle on her. “Nothing can fill the void your absence has left.” He shakes his head slightly before adding, “Something within me screams for you, as if I were alone in a decrepit crypt and only you can save me.”

Her heart beats wildly in her chest. She feels as though she may suffocate, or that her heart may give out at a moment's notice. Tav begins to feel the tendrils of desire dance across her abdomen. They start low in her groin and quickly spread upward, causing a rhythmic contraction of her walls. She cannot fall for this again, she simply must not. All he's done is spout pretty words and step into her presence. And yet…

His breath pants against her face as he rests their foreheads together. The scent of freshly chewed mint whirls beneath her nose. Her vision spins.

In her stupor, Tav hardly notices Astarion's hands slipping under her nightgown. His palms rest on the backs of her thighs and he lifts a leg, allowing more room to slot himself against her core.

Tav groans as their centers meet, arching her back. Her chest presses into his and she moans, hands seeking purchase in his hair as he rocks himself into her once again.

“Astarion,” she pleads, wrapping her leg around the small of his back. A bolt of pleasure shoots up from her groin. She feels her walls clench again in desperation as his hardened cock brush against her cunt, straining against the fabric of his trousers. Her body remembers him and is all too eager to receive him once more.

Astarion knows. He recalls exactly how her body reacts almost on instinct to his touch. He pants against her lips with each roll of his hips into hers. “Come home with me, Tav,” he groans out. “Please, darling. I need you.”

His voice comes out ragged, stressed. Astarion leans against her chest, slipping his face into the nape of her neck. Inhaling deeply, a fire begins smoldering low in his belly. Her scent is of fresh mountain dew in early spring. Floral, sweet, and holding the promise of possibility. His cock twitches in anticipation.

Tav moans, loud and unfiltered. Her knees grow weak and she nearly buckles off the wall if Astarion weren't holding her up. She throws her head against the wall behind her, back arching once again.

“I mourned you,” Tav tells him, nearly breathless. “I mourned us.” She doesn't protest as Astarion lifts her other leg to join in locking around his waist. Tav doesn't fight how he grinds himself into her again, trapping her between himself and the wall. She feels faint, her vision growing fuzzy at the edges, though she manages to huff out, “You don't get to come here and make demands of me, Astarion.”

Astarion pulls his head back leisurely to meet her eyes. “You left me, remember?” he says low in his throat.

“What choice did you leave me with?” Tav exclaims in frustration. “You wanted me to sacrifice my life in order to prove my love for you. You would have never asked that of me before that accursed Rite!”

“I only wish to live out the rest of eternity together,” Astarion replies. “I promised I would protect you, that no harm would ever come to you.”

Tav stares into his face as realization registers in her mind, mouth falling slightly agape. She's gotten used to reading between the lines of his words, so often laced with duplicate meaning. True to his former life as a rogue of the night.

Her mortality is a threat to his oath.

Astarion cannot fathom going through the rest of time without her. Or, he does, and the thought is too painful for him to ever risk becoming reality. That is what he means to say, though apparently incapable in this new state.

“Isn't this what you wanted?” he asks, quietly. “To be together? Forever?”

Tears well in the creases of her eyelids and Tav sobs. “You are a fool, Astarion Ancunín,” she chides.

Astarion hovers his mouth mere millimeters above hers. “Only for you,” he says. “Always for you.” He captures her lips in a gentle embrace, breathing deeply through his nose as he pushes further into the kiss.

Tav moans into his mouth as she slackens her jaw, creating enough room for their tongues to begin exploring one another. She gasps as Astarion carries her from the wall to her bed on the far side of the room, grabbing at his shoulders for leverage.

“Tell me I may have you,” he asks, breaking the kiss as he lays her down over the mattress. He climbs over her, mouth descending upon her neck. He peppers chaste kisses along the underside of her jaw.

Tav writhes beneath him, whimpers escaping her throat as he licks and suckles on the delicate flesh of her throat. With resolve quickly waning, her hands find purchase again in silver locks as she finally says, “You may, but only for tonight.”

Astarion freezes above her. Hesitantly, he pulls himself back, looking her over as he begins shrugging off his doublet. “Are you sure?” he inquires softly.

This is the perfect opportunity to ask him to turn and leave. To not start this over again, to not return down a path in which she knows there is no favorable end. Though, Tav also cannot deny just how much she has missed him, as well.

“It's only sex, Astarion,” she tells him, sitting up to undo the ties of her nightgown. “That's all this will be.”

His hands come to rest atop hers, replacing her motions as he pulls gently at the laces of the gown. With the last tie undone her gown falls open, revealing her bare breasts to his heated gaze. Astarion sucks in a sharp breath as he meets her eyes.

“Only sex,” he ponders aloud as he furrows his brow. “But what if I want-”

“No,” Tav interjects, voice firm. “This is all I can give you. You either take this, or you have nothing.” Her breathing comes uneven as she stares back at him, chest heaving. Her nerves have come alight; she cannot fall in love with him again, but she can at least offer him this.

With a curt nod, Astarion replies, “As you wish.”

His expression is guarded as he fumbles with the laces of his trousers. He pulls his undershirt up and over his head, dropping it unceremoniously onto the floor behind the bed. Standing up, he peels off his boots, pants, and underclothes in one fell swoop. He returns to Tav on the bed as bare as the day he was born, following her eyes as they roam down the long plane of his torso. They come to rest between his thighs.

Astarion’s cock stands ready at attention, jumping in tandem with his heartbeat. Saliva pools thick on her tongue and she slips the nightgown down and off her arms. She's left naked before him, not having time to fully dress before his unexpected visit. Tav hears him groan as he looks her over.

A surprised gasp falls from her mouth as he cups her sex. She feels him drag two fingers through the arousal that has already gathered between her folds, and watches as he brings those same fingers to his mouth. A bolt of desire pulls behind her navel as she watches his slick-soaked fingers slip between his lips. He suckles around them, moaning his approval.

With a wet pop, Astarion pulls the two digits from his mouth and places them against her cunt again. They're saturated with his spittle, softly prodding at her entrance.

“A-ah!” Tav gasps as his fingers sink in. It's only two, but Gods how she's struggling to take them. They glide in and out, Astarion occasionally curling his fingers to pass along the spongy spot inside her that turns her vision white.

It's not long before he's pulling his fingers out and lining himself up along her entrance. Astarion spits into his hand, giving himself a few languid strokes. The weight of his cock slaps down heavily as he drags his length through her slickened folds once, twice, before he's finally slipping into her.

Screwing his eyes shut, Astarion lets out a guttural groan as he feels his tip pop through her tense entrance, her warmth enveloping him as he seats himself a bit further before halting. Her walls spasm wildly around his shaft; it takes every ounce of willpower he has not to sink the rest of himself down into her inviting wet heat.

Tav sighs as she finally adjusts, body relaxing around him. She hadn't necessarily forgotten that taking Astarion is no small feat, though she did forget how it feels to actually do so.

“You can move,” she tells him meekly.

He doesn't respond with words; a simple nod of his head is all Tav gets before he's leaning over her, hips slipping further and further toward the backs of her thighs. Wrapping his arms around her thighs, Astarion pulls her into him, pelvis meeting her backside. He growls, cock twitching as his tip brushes against her cervix.

Tav shudders under him as he pulls out, feeling the dragging of his length within her cunt, only for him to push back in with added force. Her body jerks upward from the power of his thrust. An audible string of whimpers falls freely from her lips as he does it again, and again, and again.

Astarion catches Tav’s hands as she tries reaching for him, pushing them back toward the bedsheets. Confused by his gesture, Tav tries again, only for Astarion to once more shove her hands off of him.

Stunned, Tav looks at his face. Sweat is beginning to gather along his brow, though he keeps perfect composure. There is no lust nor passion to his expression. He looks… removed. Distant. Aloof.

Just… having sex.

“Astarion?” Tav asks, concerned. “I can't touch you?”

He scoffs above her, grunting as he slams his hips again into hers. “Touch is a rather intimate thing,” he says, sarcasm saturating his tone. “Intimacy isn't welcome when you're just having sex.”

“Stop,” Tav demands, hands pressing against his stomach. Astarion immediately ceases his movements. “This is too cold, Astarion,” she says quietly. “This isn't us.”

Above her, Astarion sucks in a large breath. “It is when it's devoid of emotion,” he clarifies, patience wearing thin. “That's what you wanted, isn't it?” He tilts his head, craning his neck to look down upon her. “Just a quick romp?”

“I-”

Venom seeps from his pores as he quickly adds, “If you were ever curious as to how I treat my harlots, well, now you know. It's rather different from our last time, eh? I wonder why that is?” Astarion feigns an inquisitive glance, placing a finger to the side of his mouth as his lips form into a pout.

“Astarion, I-”

Tav tries desperately to interject, but is disrupted again by Astarion snapping his fingers. “Oh, I know! It's because I made love to you!” he sneers, lips curling over his fangs as he leans closer to her face. “You were never a conquest to me!” he growls. “Never one night it's best to forget.”

Astarion exhales, eyes falling closed in an effort to regain his composure. “If you insist on me treating you like a whore in a brothel, fine,” he says, “I'll do it. But know it's not done willingly.”

Tav remains silent, words failing her. Her body trembles as the full weight of his confession echoes throughout her mind. Pulling in ragged breaths, she questions, “Would you make love to me again? If I asked?”

Astarion huffs out a laugh, his expression softening. “I would raze an entire city for you,” he confirms. “You need only ask.”

A sense of despair enshrouds her as she stares into his ruby red eyes. He still loves her, Tav realizes. As much as, if not more than, the day she left him. Her head pounds; she needs to stop this from going forward. The voice in her head is begging her not to continue, to not risk reopening the wound she's spent the last six months delicately stitching back together.

Their last night together replays in her thoughts. She recalls the all-encompassing feeling of want that radiated off Astarion, that night. He carried her into a world of pleasure she never dreamed possible, all while singing praises deeply into her ear as he rocked in and out of her core. They joined as one, body and soul. Or so Tav thought, until the following morning.

Astarion looks at her now with that same compassion in eyes. He means what he says; he would destroy anyone and anything should she ask it of him. He's already destroyed himself, all in a vow to protect her.

Choking back a sob, she accepts final defeat in the battle her heart fought so desperately since he first came through her window. “Make love to me then, Astarion,” Tav tells him, pleadingly. “The way you used to.”

The flame of the single candle in the room dances in his eyes. The ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “Oh, my sweet,” he purrs, “There's nothing I'd like more,” Astarion brushes her cheek with the back of a palm. His arousal has flagged, still situated within Tav’s warmth, though it stirs back to life as he captures her lips in a hungry kiss.

Tav groans as she feels Astarion's length swell within her walls, noises swallowed by his mouth over hers. When he grows stiff enough, Astarion gives shallow thrusts between her legs. It isn't long until he's back to full virility, rolling his hips into hers in a steady rhythm.

She cries out as he breaks the kiss, one last deep thrust before he's pulling out of her. Pushing her legs back, knees almost hitting her chest, Astarion slips back into place between her thighs. Tav’s knees are being held up by his shoulders as he bends forward, sliding his cock back into her slickened cunt with ease.

Astarion groans as his cock slides down, down, down until his tip nudges the end of her tunnel. Tav gasps as he settles himself impossibly deeper, hips giving a soft push that leaves her womb pulsing. She claws at Astarion’s back when he pulls his hips up slightly, only to crash into her again.

Astarion rests his forehead against Tav’s. He drops his hips repeatedly into her center, eyes locked with hers as he does. The air pushed from her lungs from each of his thrusts passes over his face and he greedily sucks it in. Her face is flushed shades of red and pink as blood rushes through her veins, singing her desire loudly in his ears.

Nails sink into the tender scars on his back and Astarion hisses. With half open eyelids, Tav struggles to keep his gaze, pleasure threatened to overwhelm her. But when she finally does, she sees it. There, in his eyes, is him. The man she fell in love with.

Astarion's eyes are soft, round, pleading. The eyes of the man she gave herself to repeatedly all those months ago.

Each night she spent being devoured by his mouth, pulling the very essence of her body into his, she felt it - the sanctity of her oath dangling in the balance. Should she have stuck to her teachings, Astarion would’ve been staked through the heart at first discovery of his true nature. And yet, night after night, she willingly succumbed to the lustful desires that only her blood could provide him.

She moans as he angles his hips sharply on the next downstroke, the head of his cock brushing deliciously up against her spot. The rhythmic fluttering of her tunnel over his shaft pulls a throaty groan from Astarion, who quickly buries his face into the nape of her neck as the sensation wracks through his body. His arms envelop her torso, using her as leverage to increase the pace of her thrusts.

Tav feels her arousal leaking down the cleft of her ass, carved out from her with each plunge of his cock into her cunt. The tip of him rams against her spot repeatedly and she shakes in his arms, pleasure coiling tightly in her belly with not much left to hold onto. “Astarion,” she pants against his ear, mindlessly mouthing at his lobe. “Gods, Astarion…”

He groans again against her neck, skin muffling most of it. The sounds of their joint arousal fill the room, and Astarion pulls his lips back in anticipation of his impending climax. The smoldering fire in his belly has erupted into hellfire, threatening to consume all and any in its path if not quelled soon.

Fangs press into the delicate skin of her neck and Tav shivers, hands flying into his hair and grasping, pulling. “Do not bite me, Astarion,” Tav says, panicked.

Humming his disapproval, Astarion reluctantly pulls his head away from her neck. He rests his forehead against hers again. “Where do you want me, Tavaria?” The question comes quietly, unguarded. Strained.

Tavaria.

The sound of her full name on his tongue sends pulses of desire through her belly. He's close, Tav realizes. Astarion pants against her face as his thrusts grow more uneven. Moving a hand to his jaw, Tav holds his cheek, rubbing his chin with her thumb. “However you want,” comes her reply.

Astarion shudders, a moan slipping past his lips, eyes rolling to the back of his skull momentarily. He blinks back into focus, chest heaving as his breathing becomes labored. He's barely lifting hips into Tav, instead giving short stuttering thrusts that have his tip kissing her cervical os.

“Tav, please,” he begs. “Tell me.”

Silver strands of hair stick to his sweat-soaked forehead. Brushing them out of the way with a hand, she plants a kiss between his brow. “Inside,” she coos. “It's okay.”

Carnal desire flares behind Astarion's eyes. He grunts, raw and guttural as he dips his head back into the crook of her neck. He feels his cock begin to swell, a telltale sign that his release is imminent.

Tav whimpers as Astarion rams over her pleasure point again and again, the fattened head of his cock dragging along her walls. It doesn't take much longer before she's screaming out her completion below him, nails digging into the skin of his marred back.

Astarion roars out his own climax above her, balls pulling up tightly as fangs sink into the pillow next to her. He floods her channel with his seed, tiny rolls of his hips pulling groans from his chest as he rides out the wave. Tav’s walls are more than willing to massage the rest of his spend from his balls and into her greedy womb.

They lay together panting, post-coital haze in full effect. It isn't until Astarion shifts to pull out his softening member that Tav feels it - his spend dribbling from her entrance and onto the nightgown under her. He's the first to leave the bed, shaking his head while running a hand through tousled locks. Tav watches him disappear into her washroom as she slowly sits herself up onto her elbows.

The sound of water running into the tub can be heard and Astarion reappears in the doorway. He returns to the bed, Tav gasping as he scoops her up into his arms and carries her toward the washroom.

“What are you doing, Astarion?” she asks, mind still clouded by her peak. She loops her hands around his neck, lolling her head against his shoulder.

A chuckle rumbles from his chest as he kisses the top of her head. “Taking care of you,” he answers, bringing them both across the threshold of the washroom.

-------------------------------------------

Tav awakens the next morning alone, tucked snuggly in her bed. The events of the night are hazy as she slowly regains consciousness. She doesn't recall when or how she fell asleep. Peeling off the covers and giving herself a quick look over, she realizes she's dressed in her nightgown again. The ties are neatly in place, eerily similar to how she had them before.

Looking around her room, there's no evidence that Astarion had been present. The papers she swore fell to the floor are all stacked neatly on her dresser. The candle has been hushed out, and her windows closed.

Was it a dream? she ponders, heart rate rising as her confusion grows.

Her eyes scan the room frantically in an attempt to find a single piece out of place. Finally, she finds the answer she is searching for laying atop her vanity. Rising out of bed, Tav walks over to find a single rose laid across the top of the desk. He was here, Tav notes to herself, bringing the rose to her face. She inhales its sweet scent, dread filling her heart as the heavy weight of last night begins to actualize.

No, it was very real. And it’s only just beginning.

#astarion #ascended astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion smut #astarion ancunin #fanfiction #astarion angst #astarion x tav #astarion romance #astarion x female tav #my writing #bg3 fanfiction

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catherinekal · 3 months

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Giant Fucking List of Obscure Video Games I Recommend!

It's finally done!! Took me long enough, but here it is. Over 50 games I recommend. Just in time for the Steam Sale. Holy shit I spent way to much time on this.

Some of these are well known to anyone into the indie/AA gaming scene or just on the internet often, but I still felt the need to mention in case people haven't heard of them. All of these are obscure compared to any AAA game and I'm confident no one would have heard or played all of these.

They all have something I found interesting in someway. I was going to include a trailer for each game, but apparently Tumblr doesn't like that. So I have put a link to a Youtube playlist for all of them in the same order as this list. Some of these games are also on various consoles to, but I can confirm they're all on Steam beyond one.

I only picked games I've played personally. I know of many other good obscure games, but haven't tried or bought them yet so they don't get on the list. Also many games on this list remain unfished to me, but that's more due to time and other life shit then them getting bad.

There's a lot of fucking games In this list so hopefully you find something you've never tried before and give it a shot. All these games are on Steam with one exception, but that's a free game. I also organized them by genres that make perfect sense to me.

Trailers Link:

The Best Game Ever:

Outer Wilds

Fuck it let's just start with the only mandatory game on this list you need to play. You know how nearly every space game is a overpromised underdelivered fucking mess? Like all of them.

Outer Wilds is the actual good one. Don't want to say much more then that. This is very much an experience that you need to know as little as possible to get the best experience. Not even linking the trailer in the playlist.

Absolutely play this game if you had to pick only 1 thing on this list.

EarthBoundLikes:

OMORI

OMORI is a game about a group of kids who go on magical adventures and save the day. That's it. Nothing else sinister going on here.

It's a well known indie game and for good reason. It's fucking good. One of my favorite games of all time.

Art style is peak. A mix of pixel and pencil drawn art that works so damn well for me. The battle system is turn based and revolves around changing emotions and teamwork. It mixes a happy child like vibe with a darkness underneath it, which is right up my alley. A tale of trauma and grief. I'm still fucked up thinking about some story bits in there.

All the characters are wonderful and the story is helped a lot by keeping it focused on a small group of friends.

Play it.

LISA: The Painful and LISA: The Joyful

LISA: The Painful/Joyful are a pair of games that fuck. They fuck hard.

They're morbid, tackle many taboos, and have a dark but also stupid sense of humor. The visuals are nothing groundbreaking, but this isn't a game that needs perfect pristine pixel art. The combat system is a lot of fun, but takes very clear inspiration from Earthbound. The story is just perfect though.

You play Brad whos on a journey to rescue his adoptive daughter who was kidnapped in a post apocalyptic world of only men. You meet the strangest allies and the game has a lot of odd characters in it. Want a lawyer fish in your party? This game has it.

It does not shy away from throwing punches and is not for anyone who can't handle a story that tackles themes of abuse, depression, suicide, and more. The game also has a sequel I don't want to say to much about, but it's absolutely worth it as well.

If you want a fun and fucked up 2D RPG adventure and somehow haven't played this then please do so.

Mandatory Metroidvania Soulslike Indie Game Darlings:

Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights

Ender Lilies is the first of many metroidvania's on this list. The indie scene is filled with them and for good reason. The formula works so damn well.

What I love about Ender Lilies is the concept of the player character. You play a white priestess who is also a child and helpless on her own. However, you can summon the spirits of allies and slain enemies to fight for you and those spirits are all your attacks. Gameplay is the same as any other Metroidvania, but knowing I'm this helpless child in this world infected by blight really sells me on the setting.

There's nothing revolutionary to this entry in the pantheon of Metroidvanias, but the visuals and setting are why I recommend it. This game is a slow descent into hell. Also you do get a big heavy hammer attack and any game with a big hammer weapon attack is a good game. Big bonks.

Craving a Metroidvania with a macabre setting? This will do it.

GRIME

GRIME is something else. I don't hear anyone talk about this game and it's a damn shame. I don't even know how to even describe GRIMEs setting. You play as essentially a sentient black hole on a rock body. You go through, with lore slowly revealed as is the Metroidvania stable, and absorb your enemies.

This games aesthetic is best described as fleshy stone. It's very unique visually and what made me want to try it out. As for gameplay you'll need to learn parrying as this games combat system heavily relies on it.

This game surprised me and has a entire level I never expected with one very unique boss to top that off. Also be warned. This game is very much a platformer as well. Similar to how the Ori games are, not just pure combat challenges. If you like your metroidvanias with little to no platforming then you won't enjoy parts of this game, but nothing as difficult as things in Hollow Knight.

If you enjoy metroidvanias then this is a must play. More people need to talk about it.

Salt and Sanctuary

This is where it all started. Certainly not the first Metroidvania by any means, but the first 2D Soulslike Metroidvania or at the least first advertised as such. The devs intended to make Dark Souls in 2D and they did it. Before Hollow Knight, the games listed above, or so many others that took inspirations from Souls in the 2D world, was this game. I know this game was popular with the souls community as it came out, but I don't really hear about it anymore. Hollow Knight just dominated all discussion.

The controls and combat are very much Dark Souls but in 2D. The lore is cryptic and hidden away. There's a fuckton of weapons and spells and multiple playthroughs worth of stuff. The game is hard though Hollow Knight would easily one up it in terms of difficulty.

This game also has covenants that are actually good and the mechanics around them are vastly improved over any souls game that has covenants. I won't go into detail, but I wish the souls games copied this games mechanics for that.

The setting is high fantasy with the lovely dark bloody horror underneath it all. The art style can turn people away, it's not as pretty as other 2D souslikes, but I enjoy it personally. It fits.

The game has a lot to explore and you can get lost in its world pretty easily. I remember walking into a boss room from the exit somehow and got behind the boss and it was all intended if you navigated around him.

If you can appreciate or just get past the visuals and want to see where the 2D soulslike genre began then you should play it.

Metroidvania's Before the Dark Age of Soulslikes

Dust: An Elysian Tail

Long ago there was a time where Metroidvanais didn't have soulslike mechanics defaulted in and set in these bleak post apocalyptic worlds. I have 3 of them to recommend. Starting With Dust: An Elysian Tail

This is a fun little game. A game that I'm not sure many people know about or would think to play today. Metroidvanias pre Hollow Knight tend to get forgotten when I see people about them now. It has a mix of platforming and hectic combat. I remember the game having a cool spin sword attack with a even cooler aerial attack. I liked it a lot when I played it many many years ago.

The art style is colorful and everyone is an anthropomorphic animal. More games need anthropomorphic animals beyond catgirl or rabbitgirl, seriously I grew up on shit like sly Cooper and Ratchet and Clank.

You play as Dust and are accompanied by Fidget. you got a magic sword and you kill a bunch of shit while saving the day. Just a fun little Metroidvania that doesn't overstay and go on forever.

It may be dated in some ways, but if you're a fan of these types of games and want to play a older one then here you go.

Guacamelee!

The combat in this game feel great. Another little forgotten gem of a Metroidvania. It has such a unique style to it and has a fun cartoony vibe. It's pretty fucking great.

You play as a farmer who dons a luchador mask to save his friend he loves and the world being taken over. The combat is a mix of punches, kicks, and throws which is unique from the usual swords and magic these types of games tend to default to. As the game goes along enemies will have shields that need certain moves to break and you'll be switching from the land of the dead and living in combat and platforming.

Both this and Dust before it don't reinvent the genre or anything, but have their own unique charms that I recommend them both if you're a fan of Metroidvanias.

Cave Story+

This is a old classic. The original Cave Story came out in 2004, and was released with a enhanced version in 2011. This is a must play Metroidvania and an old gem. It's the oldest game on this list technically.

This game has little to no melee combat, but instead goes all in on using guns. More Metroid then Vania in that sense. What's unique to the combat is enemies will drop experience that will level up your guns automatically. Each gun can be upgraded to 3 levels, but when you take damage you lose experiences and levels. This adds a extra layer or rewards and punishment to getting hit that I like. Your weapons are perfectly usable at level 1 so it's not like you're fucked, but it gives a greater incentive to avoid damage.

It has fun characters and and fun gameplay. It's a genuine indie gem that I think everyone should play.

Pixel Action Adventure Games With A Dash of RPG Elements to Taste:

ANNO: Mutationem

This game is a pixel art cyberpunk adventure. I adore the art style. It's a 2.5D action platformer set in a futuristic setting. You're on a quest to save your brother with the help of your hacker friend/girlfriend. A quest which leads to a far more complicated story.

The story in this game goes off the rails in ways I love, but I know it threw people off. People have compared the latter half to Evangelion and It can be confusing to follow at times. I still highly recommend it, even if you get lost near the end. A simpler story in terms of Lore would have worked better, but I say fuck it. Go all in.

To me the appeal of this game is the setting. A fascinating cyberpunk sci-fi setting shown through wonderful pixel art. Just walking around the various cities was a joy on its own. There's a lot of attention to detail and I think it's worth playing for that alone. Combat is your standard side-scrolling Metroidvaniaish kind of stuff with various weapons and upgrades and all that. I found it a little challenging at times, but this isn't a game meant for extreme difficulty from what I remember.

If you want to play as hot badass woman in a cyberpunk setting given life through detailed pixel art, then this is the game for you.

CrossCode

This is the most dense indie game on this whole list. CrossCode has so much to do. The game is expansive and slowly drip feeds you with more. You have 5 skill trees, 4 of which are tied to an element, multiple upgrade paths in them. You have a mix of melee combat with twin stick shooter mechanics thrown in. The game has multiple dungeons with puzzles that are both difficult to figure out and then execute the solution for. These aren't like a 2D Zelda dungeon where things never get to complicated, I really took a lot of time with every dungeon.

The setting takes place on another moon physically, but its actually all virtual and a MMO people are playing from all over the galaxy. Though the game itself isn't a MMO really. You play as a set character in a set linear story that's unrelated to that actual in lore story of the MMO.

The characters are fun and the setting is a joy to explore. There's a lot of side content and I don't remember any of it being a drag. This games also challenging and I know It took me a bit to progress at various points. The pixel art is very detailed, especially with the outdoor environments.

This game will keep you engaged for a while and there's challenging DLC and even fun incentives to play new game plus. This is just all around a solid game experience.

Hyper Light Drifter

I played this game a long time ago so details are hazy, but I know I really enjoyed it. It's top down and filled with action. You got a sword. You got a gun. You go kill things and I do remember many challenging combat encounters.

I have forgotten all story elements, but even now I still remember some imagery that reminded me of Evangelion, which is always a plus. Though story was never the main draw to games for me so the setting and combat were all I needed to keep engaged.

Not the most descriptive review of the game, but I know this is one of the furthest game on this list from when I played it and I only went through it once. It's a cool game though and if the trailer enticed you then you owe it to yourself to get it.

Phoenotopia: Awakening

I adore this little hidden gem of a game. If CrossCode is the most dense indie game on this list then this is a very close second. Possibly even more dense, I truly can't decide for sure. It's cute, funny, charming, and full of legitimate challenges.

You play as Gail who lives in a small town village. Some shit happens that I won't give away, but you end needing to travel the land and go on a fun adventure. The story is full of comedic and lively characters. It never takes itself to seriously or gets really dark which Is a nice change of pace.

This game really is an adventure. You will travel a lot and get very familiar with any hub area. There's secrets and puzzles packed all over and gives you good reason to revisit. A nice drip feed of progress is felt as you unlock more stuff.

In terms of combat it's bar far the most simplistic on this list and could even frustrate others, but like everything else in this game it has charm and I adore it. The simple mechanics don't mean no challenge though. I was stuck often, but felt so satisfying when I won.

Some of the late game areas can be bullshit and will frustrate you, but stick with it. This is a genuine top tier hidden indie gem that got no attention. Honestly just under Outer Wilds this would be the other must buy. Absolutely play this.

Vampire Survivorlikes:

20 Minutes Till Dawn

Everyone knows about Vampire Survivor and everyone knows many games came out that tried to capture that style of gameplay. This one is the only one of those I've played and it's wonderful.

You unlock multiple characters and multiple guns with various upgrade trees. Kill the horde, survive, upgrade, survive even longer. Each level only takes 20 minutes, hence the title. I appreciate that as the game would never end with how strong you end up being by the end after you learn the mechanics.

This isn't anything groundbreaking, but if you need to kill half a hour then it's a fun thing to play.

Hawklikes:

Umurangi Generation

Let's fucking go!! This game rules!

As someone who is going to pursue photography more seriously as a hobby this game is perfect. Unlike something like Pokemon Snap or games with photo modes, this game really captures the feeling of holding a physical camera and the moment to moment decisions you make with each shot.

You unlock different lenses and control each shot as you would a real camera. After each photo you can edit it on the spot purely for your own creative reasons. The visuals are low poly and very colorful.

The game has a tony hawk style of progression. A hawklike if you will. You get dropped in a level and are given a list of photos to try and take. You can of course take photos of anything. You have a limited amount of film and can find more throughout the level.

Also there's a story. There's a dark undercurrent to the whole thing and the game is very overtly political in all the right ways. Don't like politics in your games? Fuck you! This game dives right in while still maintaining the core gameplay loop. Need more games like this please.

Please buy this game and it's DLC.

Action Games:

Furi

Top tier action game. It's a boss rush game, that's it. 10 bosses with some vague story that briefly connects them. It's not bloated with bullshit and knows exactly what to focus on.

The combat is a mix of intense melee combat with parries and dodges and the like, with twin stick shooting. No upgrades. No farming. No choosing between this weapon or that. No additional moves or mechanics. You fight a tutorial boss which teaches you everything and then you go. You have the full toolkit from the start and that lets you master it slowly over the game.

It's so fucking satisfying finally winning and knowing you improved and earned that win. I like the story as well. It's not that complex, but the ending bits worked for me.

If you want a genuine good action game that has no bullshit attached then get this.

Amid Evil

There's not much to say about this one other then it's really fucking fun. It's a first person action game where you use magic and weapons to go through combat filled levels. You have health and mana that all weapons use outside of your axe. The levels are filled with secrets, you move fast, and it's just a fun action game.

Sometimes a game isn't more then that and it beats games that are stuffed with unnecessary mechanical bloat. If you want a fun first person action game that's not just a full shooter then this is the game for you.

Adventure Games:

The Cat Lady and Lorelai

I love these games. No one ever talks about them or knows about them and they will certainly linger in your mind. The devs have made 2 other games that I have yet to get to so for now I am recommending only these.

Play The Cat Lady first. It's the first one and tells the story of a very depressed middle aged woman who gets a second chance at life, at a cost.

Lorelai is about a young woman in a very abusive household trying to survive while seeing what lengths she will go to save those she loves.

Both these games revolve around deals with a devil and feature a lot of horrific violence. Fun!

The stories in both evoke a creepy disturbing feeling and you're always on edge. I won't say these are straight horror games, but they sure use horror imagery. The art style really helps sells it. The animations or character models may not be the most beautiful thing around, but it has that indie charm I love. The voice acting isn't perfect either, but these aren't negatives for me. These are passion projects and imperfections are what make any piece of art shine brighter. Real people put their soul into these games and it shows.

The gameplay is standard adventure game fair, but all keyboard controlled. So no endless mouse clicking everything on the screen. which works wonderfully. Though being pure adventure games you're here more for the story then the moment to moment gameplay.

Please play these.

Detention

Detention is probably well known due to the controversy with Red Candle Games other game, Devotion being wiped online for shitty reasons. It's available now on their own websites store, though I still have never played it. I should one day as Detention was pretty fucking good.

The gameplay is the usual 2D adventure game fair. A lot of clicking and puzzle solving with some horror thrown in. The story and setting are where it's at though.

The game is unique in that it's made from Taiwanese devs and the games setting is rooted in their cultures history. I don't want to give away any real details beyond that, but it certainly left an impact and seeing a game not set in Europe, America, Japan, or any fantasy equivalent to those was refreshing. The games also not super long and could easily be beaten in a day.

Go buy it. Play it on a long free night. Support these devs.

Rime

I love the aesthetic of this game. Cel shading indie colorful goodness. I got this for the visuals alone and was very happy the game that came with it was good to. Visuals are a major factor in me getting interested in a game and the reveal trailer was enough for me to play it.

It's very light and cryptic on story for most of it as to be expected from this kind of game. You're a kid, you wake up on a beach and go forth exploring. You solve puzzles and hide from danger and go through each of the unique levels trying to piece together whats going on.

Like the game before, this isn't a super long one. Shouldn't take more then a day or a few to get through it all. Though I do recommend you take your time and explore like I did. Let yourself be immersed in the setting.

This is another example of just a pure perfect indie game. Doesn't overstay it's welcome, tells a simple but cryptic story, and has lovely visuals.

Atominous

This is the one of the few games on this whole list that I would say is truly obscure. In fact I have no doubt this is the most obscure. If you're big into indie games then nothing on this list will honestly surprise you, but I'm confident this is the exception.

In this free game you place as a a little guy who's job is like pest control. Instead of bugs your job is to collect and protect the world from rare atoms called Atominous. Basically little atoms that can alter reality. You go into a big house and your job is to find them through the power of puzzle solving and clicking every little thing you see.

This game is all about clicking everything. Nearly every object has unique text that pops up, if not multiple. You find keys to open more of the house and slowly suck up the atominous atoms and clean up the place.

That's it. It's a fun quirky little free game that shouldn't take more then a couple hours. No excuse not to try it, it's free. It's also the only game not on steam, but instead here

Adventure Games Where You Hit Things:

TUNIC

TUNIC is a lovely indie game. You play as a little cute fox and go on a adventure to save your poor trapped mom. such a cute game :3

I adore the visuals, I love low poly stuff and the game is full of charm. Looking at this game makes me happy. The game is like a mix of a top down Zelda and Fez and it being reminiscent of FEZ was what really took me by surprise. I won't go further in how it's like FEZ, but it really elevated the game for me.

It's a fun top down game with simple fun combat. You kill enemies, find key items, unlock more of the world, and get fed cryptic lore. The perfect formula for a fun little indie game. The game is decently challenging to with it's boss fights, and overall a nice fun little experience with some neat surprises.

TUNIC is wonderful, go play it.

Kena: Bridge of Sprits

This is the most PS2 game I've played since the PS2. I mean that as a compliment. This game felt like going back in time to a simpler time.

Visually the game is not at all like the PS2. The visuals are beautiful and has been compared to Pixar. It's bright, colorful, and well polished. To me this is peak aesthetics. This game is worth playing just to see all the work that went into the game's visuals alone.

It reminded me of a PS2 game because it's a self contained fun third person action adventure. Just a fun game with no bullshit holding it down or any other purpose then being a fun adventure. The world is a joy to explore with a nice steady progression. I especially love how the Hub is mostly corrupted and you slowly restore it over the course of the game. Shit like that always feels so good.

There's a lot of unexpected challenge to. Some of the later fights and especially bosses took me a bit to beat. Just like a PS2 game you'll get random difficulty spikes that are so fucking satisfying to beat.

I highly recommend this game.

Adventure Games Where You're in the Desert:

Sable

Sable is a coming of age story presented in a very fun interactive package. This is a game about heading out into the world and exploring on your own whim to figure out what your character becomes as an adult.

You play as Sable, a young adult girl who has to leave her tribe and head into the wider world to discover herself. The goal is to find mask which representative a life path and pick one by the end. The actual game is about heading into a desert open world, solving puzzles, helping NPC's, and discovering what bits of hidden lore hide throughout. You do this all on a hoverbike you can customize as you unlock more parts.

As always the art style is important to me and this game has something really unique. The characters animation is low framerate and it can be off putting to some, but of course I loved it as I love any odd creative choice. I love the lighting and colors to. It's hard to describe just why I was so mesmerised by the art style, but I can safely say it's one of my all time favorites.

The only negative goes to technical issues. The game ran like shit on my PC and my PC isn't bad. Even people with far better PC's then me ran into frame rate issues and others didn't have any. Sometimes games aren't optimized well, but this game was so magical to me that I loved it, despite the tech issues.

It's a very chill game. You want to explore a cool world at a slow pace and get lost in it? Sable's the game for you.

It Comes In Waves

This is a short game where you have to start over if you die. A penalty I feared, but truthfully this isn't that difficult of an experience. You start on one end of a desert and have to carry something to the other end as it grows inside a tank on your back.

As you wait for whatever your transporting to grow you will explore minimalist environments with some unique imagery that speaks of a wider history you just have to wonder about. The whole time you have to watch out for raiders and watch your water level. It always depletes and you will need to explore and refill it as you journey on. I also love how you have a map, but the map is like an actual map. It doesn't show you on it, but just the overall area.

This game will take you a hour at best and is unlike anything else on this list. There's something about just slowly walking across the desert, not knowing what's ahead, and hoping you can make it to the next water tank. Just a little experimental game about a harsh journey.

Platformers With 2 Entire Dimensions:

MO: Astray

Ever wanted to play as a little blob? No? Well you should because this game was a hidden gem. I was thrown off by this game at first and then pleasantly surprised by the whole experience.

This game feels like it should be a metroidvania. It's 2D and you're on a broken down ship or facility or something. Nope. This game is fully linear and at first I didn't think I'd like that and was disappointed, but it works so damn well.

You play a slime essentially and you have the magical power to read the last thoughts and minds of corpses by settling on their rotten fleshy head. With this power and other little story tidbits you learn what's going on, your purpose, and so on.

There's no combat in this game really. You move by shooting yourself in any direction you can see and you can stick to surfaces. There's danger. There's enemies. There's boss fights. All without the usual fair of attack/dodge roll, that's standard for 2D metroidvanias now. This game is something different and that alone makes it worth it.

Also a note on the boss fights. All of them felt very unique from each other I prefer having a few well crafted unique bosses then having a bunch of the same type of fight over and over again.

Another genuine hidden gem you should try.

Platformers With 3 Entire Dimensions:

Frogun

Frogun is adorable. It's like a N64 game and I love it.

You have a frog grappling hook and go through little short levels that ramp up in difficulty. There's optional challenges in each one. The art style is absolutely going for that early 3D low poly vibe that is starting to become more popular.

This is a perfect example of just a fun video game for the sake of being a fun video game. No serious story or message or intense complicated gameplay mechanics. Just a cute 3D platformer reminiscent of a older time.

Also I played this back when I used to stream and a Frogun speedrunner showed up in chat and helped me pull off a couple speedrunning tricks so that was fun.

If you want something simple and fun then here it is.

Cyber Hook

The ultimate speedrunning game. You have a gun, a grappling hook, and the ability to slow down time. This is a pure platformer. You enter levels with the goal of getting through as fast as you can.

I never got great at it, but the few times I really got going fast and flew through a level felt awesome. It's so satisfying finally doing things right after many failures and you will fail a lot.

There's really not much more to it. Neat visuals with satisfying and simple mechanics. If that sounds fun to you then check it out.

Marble It Up! Ultra

Platformers really are just the perfect mechanic to make fun mindless games with. Marble It Up! Ultra is another simple 3D platformer that's just purely focused on being fun.

As always it's not that complicated either. You're a marble and you try to reach the end of each stage with a time limit. There's items to stop time, make you jump higher, and go faster. Just all about building up speed and there's tons of ways to skip past parts of levels. Like the two games before, this one is perfect for speedrunning.

It's fun, go buy it.

RPG's:

Roadwarden

I was going to make a big post about why I preferred this to BG3, but scrapped it. BG3 is fun, but the story just bores me from the get go. Where BG3 failed for me Roadwarden succeeded. All story and all fantastic.

This is a text based RPG. Very simplistic visuals which show just enough to let your imagination handle most of the work.

You play a roadwarden who has the lovely job to travel the dangerous roads and help the townsfolk all while working on your greater goals. You pick between 3 starting classes and those do change how you approach things quite a bit. You have a time limit and that will force you to prioritize things over others. You can't do everything in a single playthrough. Your decisions matter and you aren't going to figure everything out.

You have to manage your health, money, hunger, and cleanliness. You will never have enough money for everything and that helps create more interesting choices. You have to manage what you do in a day. You meet a lot of people and forge allies or enemies and it's all told with stellar writing.

If you want a well written fantasy interactive story then you must play this game.

RPG's With Intense High-Octane Turn Based Combat:

Epic Battle Fantasy 5

A long time ago in times forgotten there existed these ancient relics called Flash games. Maybe one day I'll talk about old flash games I was into, but for now I'm only talking about the latest instalment in one of them. Epic Battle Fantasy is a series of games made by Matt Roszak. They started as little flash games, but have since turned into bigger games that are on Steam. 5 is the latest one and also the best so I'm recommending this one.

I've gone through this game multiple times. This game fucking rules. The game is easy to control, satisfying, and has my favorite turn based combat system period. No seriously, this is my favorite turn based combat system. I could go on what I like about it so much, but I'll spare you all most of the details. I'll say it gets rid of mana entirely and put all your abilities on cooldowns which changes based on what you're using. This just fixes balancing and helps you from spamming heals and all that. I love this system. It's easy to control, intuitive to understand, full of options, and can have a chaotic randomness I enjoy.

In this game you explore the overworld, solve puzzles, and fight enemies. The story is not at all serious or anything like that. It may not be a Flash game anymore, but it still has the older internet spirit of not taking things to seriously and being a little juvenile. There's also a lot of post game challenges that still are impossible for me to really do well or at all.

You can change the difficulty anytime and another thing I love is the entire game can be controlled with just a mouse. You can use a keyboard to, but a mouse covers everything which I think is neat.

This is such a wonderful combat system and the game I've beaten most on this list. If you want legitimately challenging turn based RPG combat and don't care about story or characters to get that then this game is a must play.

Shadows Over Loathing

Want a lovecraftian mystery RPG injected with a dose of comedy where everybody is a stick figure? Yes? How very specific, but luckily there's a game just for you.

Shadows Over Loathing is a turn based RPG where you search for your missing uncle in a area full of strange locations and characters. I never did play their other game West of Loathing, and I was pleasantly surprised by this one. It was a lot of fun, creative, difficult at times, and had a world I really wanted to explore.

It has a lighthearted comedic tone throughout and the silly art and stick figure characters help with that. The actual turn based combat is fun to. Nothing to complicated but could be challenging to which is needed to help this style of combat really shine.

There's really not much more to it. If this sounds like something you'd enjoy then please check it out.

RPG's Fused With A Light Novel:

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA

AA games still exist! I finally get to talk about Ys. I've played 3 Ys games and I'm going to talk about my favorite one because of the fun gameplay. This is a very unknown franchise that has existed since the 80's and even now the 10th instalment is set to release later this year.

As for why I'm recommending Ys 8, it's because it has some of the most fun gameplay. The combat is fast paced, encourages good timing, and full of that anime over the top stylish action. You control up to 3 characters and can easily switch between them. Each character plays differently and has their own special moves and everything just feels so satisfying.

You play as generic light novel anime man, Adol. Tagging along is generic tsundere light novel anime girl and other light novel anime characters. Like edgy boy with a gun, loli raised in the wild, and blue haired girl. You crash land on a island and have to survive and find survivors. Much like LOST the story goes off the rails and of course in classic JRPG fashion you need to stop the end of the world somehow. Unlike LOST characters are generic and the usual anime fair.

Despite the lackluster story this game still fucking rules because it's so goddamn fun to play. It also solved crafting forever by making it so you can convert common items into rarer ones making anything you find useful potentially. Seriously it's such a nice feature and all crafting systems without it are lesser.

If you want some fun action combat and don't mind anime bullshit then really, check out the entire franchise. Any of them will do, but this is the one I'd recommend the most.

RPG's Fused With A Light Novel and A WW2 Textbook:

Valkyria Chronicles 1 and 4

Picture this. WW2, but with anime and magical girls. Japan just never stops with these incredible ideas.

I adore these 2 games. I haven't played 2 or 3 as those are PSP games and I don't hear great things. However I can confirm 1 and 4 are fucking fantastic.

These games are tactical RPG's where you command troops one by one in missions. Most are usually about capturing a enemy base, but there's a lot of variety beyond that in both of them. You lay out your troops at the start plus your commander who's in the tank. You get a set level of CP per turn and each CP is used to control a unit. The actual game is probably piss easy for experienced tactical game players, but I'm not that at all. I found it legitimately difficult, both games.

What sets it apart is the game turns into a sort of third person shooter when controlling the units. You can freely move up to your AP and get one action to do. If it was just top down the whole time I'd find that not that interesting, but actually moving around and taking cover unit by unit is very engaging. There's 5 classes in the first game and a 6th added in the fourth game. Each class can be upgraded as well along with weapons, equipment, and the tanks.

The stories in both are nothing special truthfully. It's anime WW2 with silly dumb anime characters. I don't mind that and had a lot of fun, but if you can't stand something like Persona then these games will infuriate you. To me stupid anime characters in games can be a lot of fun, like Raz in 4, the dumbest but somehow most entertaining character for me. Expect some silly anime cliches and tone changes and the usual fair for these kinds of games. Even if the story is a big nothing for you, I still think both games are worth it for the gameplay.

Another aspect that I really love is all your units have personality traits that can trigger as you control them. What caught me off guard was that they're both positive and negative ones. There's ones like a woman having man hater and fancies woman as traits, aka the lesbian. There's straight up a guy with misogynist as a trait. Some are lonely, frail, daredevils, have crushes or people they hate, even one with the masochist trait. All these good and bad traits translate into potential buffs or debuffs that can happen in the game.

Sadly these side characters don't get much story in the first game. Just a unique design with some personality traits and maybe a couple in battle lines of dialogue. However, the 4th one introduced squad stories. Essentially little side stories that revolve around the non important squad mates. They were always fun to do and the missions for them are more unique because they are designed around only using those 3 characters.

I recommend both of them, but if you had to play one I'm not sure. 1 has the better story, the overall lore itself establishes in 1, and the gameplay is still fun. 4 has the better gameplay, more unique missions, and the squad stories which were a highlight for me.

Just pick which one sounds more like your thing if you only want to spend the time with one of them. Both are fun.

RPG's About the Harsh Reality of Capitalism:

Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale

I adore this games concept. It takes the common NPC seen in these little RPG adventures, the shopkeeper, and puts you in their shoes. You're father has a big debt to pay off and you now have to sell items out of your house to help pay it off before the deadline.

You lay the items out and then have to haggle your way to a profit. Finding the line of when to haggle and how much is the key to success and I failed miserably. I never did beat this game, but I haven't beaten many games on this list and that won't stop me from telling you to play them. I think the concept alone is enough of a reason to check it out.

The game does have combat as well. You can hire an adventurer to go with you into a dungeon and fight enemies for treasure. I like how you hire someone from the Adventurers Guild, just another cool concept as a typical game would have you play as the character being hired instead all the time. I also like how dungeons are high risk high reward. If they die then you lose most of what you gather and essentially just wasted the day.

It's just a cool concept and a nice change of pace from how a game set in these typical fantasy settings would go. You aren't some savior of the world, but just a shopkeeper trying to pay off debt.

Spooky Games:

Yuppie Psycho

Do you want a game about a corporate building being haunted by dark forces and being a badass fighting your way through it all? That's Control. You just want Control.

Unlike Control which bored me to death after a while. Yuppie Psycho is about a haunted corporate building, but you play a new lowly worker who's been tasked with something far above his pay grade. Brian Pasternack is a new hire who's in way over his head. What should have been a normal corporate jobs turns into a witch hunt, literally.

You aren't a badass and will have to sneak your way to victory, uncovering the buildings hidden secrets along the way. For me that's part of why this works over Control as a effective story. You're kind of a fucking nobody who has to be extra careful and is reluctant to even do this. Far more relatable honestly.

The joy of this game comes from exploring this building and uncovering the secrets and horrors. Each floor is unique and this game gets creative with the corporate horror vibe. I love some of the designs of things and how it blends comedy and horror together. It also has branching paths and even limited save slots which seemed frustrating at first, but wasn't really a big deal. Not saving every chance you can really adds to the tension when sneaking around.

It's not a true horror intense experience, but as someone who is a baby with horror I found a lot of genuine tense moments. It's a real indie gem.

The Complex: Found Footage

Kane Pixels backrooms videos are honestly pretty fucking great. I'm not usually a fan of horror at all, but there's something about these videos that just work for me. Then pgWave decided to make a video game creating the experience of exploring these kinds of spaces.

This is a creepy game where you slowly move through liminal spaces and just sort of get lost in it. There's no jumpscares or anything intense happening, but as a baby with horror this game was tense to go through for me. Honestly I appreciate it's not a more traditional horror game with a monster or something. Just dropped in a space that's inherently unsettling and leaving it up to you to explore.

If you have a free night and want to get lost exploring spaces only games could deliver then play it. It's literally free.

Games Where You Gotta Go Fast:

Distance

This game fucks. I actually remember when playing the first version of this game back when it was a student project. Students at DigiPen made a game called Nitronic Rush and it was (maybe still is?) available to download for free from the schools website. That game fucks and they announced a proper full game called Distance and it was one of the rare instances I actually bought a early access game.

Distance is a car game about going fast as fuck. The levels don't put you against anyone and instead just getting to the end is the challenge in itself. You have a boost that can overheat, a jump, and even wings when needed. The levels will require you to weave in and out of oncoming danger. They have jumps where you'll need to turn the car 90 or 180 degrees to land on a new track. All while giving you a wonderful sense of speed and accomplishment when you pull things off right.

It's not a easy game either and levels will get challenging. There's a ton of levels and challenges and if you get sucked into the gameplay then there's a lot to keep you there. This game seeks to deliver the thrill of going fast in a dangerous track where everything is out to kill you, and making it to the end. There's really not much more to say. It has a specific vision and fully realizes it.

Games Where You Trust the Heart of the Cards:

Foretales:

This game is very unique and nothing quite like what I've played before. The entire game is card based. Each of the characters have their own decks that are all mixed together in your hand. You have 4 resources you can collect, gold, food, fame, and infamy. You can get item cards as well. The board has various location cards you need to move through to move the story along. What's unique about this is the cards can be used in battle or on locations.

It's hard to really go into details how this all works, but you don't have a separate hand or anything for when combat begins.

Some cards have uses in locations and battles and others don't, but there all mixed together which adds to you planning ahead and making the best choice. You can use a eavesdrop card near a guard post to get a juicy secret which can be used for blackmail later. You can forage for food and obviously a forest will give you more then a mine shaft. There's a lot of really cool little interactions and creativity put into this systems that's just to complicated to type out and explain.

One thing I can get into is the best feature of combat. The fact that you can get through it without fighting or with less fighting then needed. Those 4 resources can be used in locations for story or optional reasons, but they can also be used in combat pacify enemies. Bandits can be bribed with gold or food for example. Fame and infamy can be used as well in certain circumstances. They are a constantly growing resource that always have uses. I'm sure it's possible to do a full pacifist run, though I imagine it would be difficult.

The game also has multiple paths for the story to go and lots of optional stuff. Multiple characters to use down the line but only 3 party members so there's more choice as well. Also everyone's an anthropomorphic animal because why not.

I just like how it's a card based game that's not just a battle between opponents or a roguelike or how cards are typically used in video games. If nothing else this game should be played for it's game design alone. If you want a really unique interactive story experience entirely dictated by cards then this is about the only game I know of like it.

One Step From Eden

I'm very bad at this game. So bad I still have never beaten it once. It's really fun all the same though.

It's a deckbuilding roguelike set on a grid. As the formula goes you fight your way through, choosing your path, collecting cards, and seeing if you can win. In my case that's a no.

The game is set on a grid where you have to manage what spells you currently have, dodging enemies, and somehow making sense of the chaos. You can unlock other characters that have their own unique mechanics to help freshen things up. Also the game just throws you in the deep end and lets you learn through playing. No tutorial or anything, just have at it.

If you're itching for a roguelike that's very fucking challenging then enjoy.

Inscryption

This is another game I expect many others to know about, but if not then honestly just play it.

It's a rougelike card game set in a wonderfully crafted creepy setting. You're alone in some mysterious persons shack forced to play a really well designed card game. Of course if it was just that I'd not be recommending it.

The mechanics are well thought out and slowly learning the mechanics feels nice. You will fail, a lot, as is the case for roguelikes, but keep at it. The game is filled with secrets and puzzles and mysteries that you'll just have to figure out for yourself.

Much like with Outer Wilds way back at the top, I don't want to say much more. If you have somehow not played this or don't know anything about it then you should.

Tainted Grail: Conquest

This is still the only proper deck-building roguelike in the same vein as Slay the Spire. While I haven't played much of that and honestly couldn't get into it, this game I did.

It was described to me as Slay the Spire meets Dark Souls by some poor soul who's brain is forever lost in soulslike hell. In reality it's just a cool deck building game where you fight creepy monsters and slowly build up the village to make each run easier. There's characters to find and NPC quest you can make little progressions on each run. It's just enough story and context to give this game a sense or purpose and progression outside collecting cards.

What added more replayability to me beyond the quest was having 9 classes to work with. In truth it's really 3 broad classes with 3 variations on those broader class types. You have the fighter, archer, and summoner as the broad classes. They use similar cards, but their strategies vary with each subclass. A summoner is more about making their summons powerful, bloodmages use their own life to summon minions that get stronger and die on their own, and necromancers sacrifice their minions to turn into a Lich. The fighter and archer subclasses are as varied and it's a good way to use similar cards across different playstyles.

I had a lot of fun with this one. It's a fun deck building game.

Thinking Games:

Manifold Garden:

I love the space this game takes place in. This is the shit only games can truly deliver on. The world is basically always looping. Each level repeats in all directions when your in open space. If you fall anywhere, you'll be ok. You can just fall endlessly even, it's very mesmerising and freeing once you get used to the fact that you can just jump off anywhere, and even needed to solve the level sometimes.

The other fun mechanic the puzzles primarily revolve around is the ability to walk on any surface and change gravity as you do it. Essentially you turn the wall into the new floor and is the main mechanic for puzzles in enclosed spaces. This game uses blocks of various colors and the simple task of putting them in the right slot is made complicated by having to altar gravity and matching them up. There's other mechanics introduced of course, but you'll need to discover those yourself.

The game can be beaten in a day give or take your skill at puzzles. I appreciate that it doesn't overstay it's welcome and uses it's mechanics in interesting ways. Also this reminds me I still need to play Antichamber someday.

If you like exploring spaces only games can deliver on or puzzles then this is the game for you.

FEZ

FEZ! This is such a fun interesting little game. It's probably well known given who the creator is, but if you haven't checked this out before, then you should.

The trailer makes it appear to be more a platformer then a puzzle game and that's half right. Similar to another game on this list, FEZ goes much deeper then a mere platformer. It has some esoteric puzzles. As I understand (could be wrong) one puzzle still hasn't been solved legitimately, but had to be brute forced and even now the community has no concrete answers on how you were supposed to get the solution.

The good news is the harder puzzles aren't technically required to just finish the game. You could still enjoy this as a fun platformer. The way the world works is you see the game world on a 2D plane. Like any other 2D platformer. However, the world itself is in 3D and you can switch the perspective to change where platforms and other things are. It's really fun moving about this world and in a sense each level is it's own puzzle to figure out how to get through it with these mechanics.

I highly recommend this game.

Thinking Games for DJ's

FRACT OSC

This is another game I would be shocked if anyone knew about. No one talks about this game ever and I don't even remember how I found out about it wayyyy back in college. This is also the oldest game on here I've played. I haven't touched this is years, but know I enjoyed it a lot.

What i remember is it's filled with music based puzzles. I also remember being very fucking confused and having to look shit up, but the real joy is just the vibe. Everything makes sound and the whole game revolves around music. I slowly explored as much as I could and just took it all in. It's a fun space to be in and I'm a sucker for being dropped in a unusual place only games can delivery on.

If you don't know shit about music production like me you might have a hard time or maybe I was just a fucking idiot and needed help. Either way I still recommend this to everyone.

Vibing with the Beat Games:

Sayonara Wild Hearts

This is basically a interactive album. It's a rhythm game that's not to difficult, which is good as this is more about the flow and vibe. There's not much more to say about it. It will take an hour and every bit is lovely. It's a visual and auditory feast that has some clever ideas packed in. I think everyone should experience it.

Soundodger+

This game won't be on the Steam store for much longer sadly. Warner Bros being shitty and taking cool shit down. I haven't played any other of the Adult Swim games that are being taken down, but I encourage you to find the list and get anything interesting while you still can.

The game itself is a fun little bullet hell rhythm game. The song plays and you are a circle in the middle of larger circle. Obstacles are thrown out into the middle timed to the music and you simply have to dodged them. I don't remember it being to hard, but I know there are community levels and I just have to assume those are going to be tough.

It's a cool game to vibe to and it's going to be gone soon. Don't miss your chance to get it.

Artsy Games That I Don't Know Where Else To Put Them:

The Beginner's Guide

This a narrative experience about the relationship between the narrator and the game dev who's games are being played. That may not sound like the most interesting premise, but trust me it's very engaging. This game has a unsettling feeling underneath it all and it's really hard to go into more without just spoiling things.

The actual game is you going through a series of small little games made by a Dev named Coda as the narrator Davey speaks to you about various things relating to the game and Coda himself. It's explores a character who's frankly caught up in a unhealthy obsession with someone else and quite the journey.

It will only take a hour and half to get through and I think it's worth a playthrough if you like narratives only video games can deliver on.

The Static Speaks My Name

This is the shortest game on this list. It's also the most depressing. If you struggle with dark thoughts and depression and really need something happy to distract you, then do not play this little free game.

It's a sad and unsettling little experience that has a lot of room for interpretation. I'm a fan of little strange pieces of art like this and if this sounds interesting to you then it's free. Check it out.

Minimalist City Builder Games:

ISLANDERS

This such a cute game. It's a simple city builder where the goal is to keep building things correctly and move on to another island. You start on a randomly generated island and are given a set of buildings and a number to reach. Buildings will get bonuses based on whats near them and as you unlock more buildings the number to reach gets higher.

That's really it. It's easy to understand and a nice little relaxing game about building a cool island town. Pretty cheap and pretty fun.

Multi Genre:

The Hex

This is multi genre because it quite literally has many different gameplay modes packed in it. A bunch of old video game characters stay at a Tavern where a murder may take place. It's a murder mystery! Also so much more.

In truth it's a narrative video game about exploring these characters past lives and revealing a larger narrative underneath it all. This was made by Daniel Mullens who's latest game I recommended earlier. Much like Inscryption, this game slowly draws you into it's setting and drop feeds you it's secrets slowly.

The Hex was pleasantly surprising as I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. It's worth playing.

That's it. That's the list. Over 50 more games to add to your Steam library which means over 50 more games you'll get to, eventually.

#video games #Steam #indie games #Steam Sale #Gaming

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eff-plays · 16 days

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To me it's not really about morality if I have to be honest. I'm an Isaac Castlevania stan and he wanted to kill literally all of humanity. Like I don't care if you play evil characters or get off to immoral dom daddies or whatever. I've wanted to punt children in Skyrim into the sun for saying sassy shit to me so like. It's a video game where you kill people. I do not care.

To me, the "problem" (or rather, the thing I like making fun of the most) is just how very surface-level evil the Ascendant ending is, how obviously evil it is, how Larian pretty much beats you over the head with it using very simple and traditional storytelling techniques ("you'll have to kill 7000 people, including literal children btw"), and how some people still manage to twist it into something it isn't (a triumphant, perfect ending) despite Larian constantly blasting at you how bad it is. (And this isn't a critique, it works well and tropes are tropes for a reason, this shit works.)

And it's not even a unique setup. It's a classic dichotomy of want vs need. That's why they're contrasting endings. Astarion wants power, but he needs freedom and self-worth. That's the gist of it.

That's why I love the epilogue titles so much, because they perfectly sum up the endings. Radiant Hopeful, because he's his own light in the dark. For someone who's been a pessimistic asshole after suffering for two centuries, that's HUGE. Sunwalking Regent means he can walk in the sun, a symbol for everything he wanted, but "regent" implies he's a temporary ruler. Someone, somewhere, will come to de-throne him one day, and every day he fears that moment. His newfound power binds him to constant fear and paranoia, and he always searches for new ways to become stronger, because in his mind, he can never be strong enough.

Spawn ending is bittersweet: he lost power, he's still cursed with vampirism and can't walk in the sun, but he is free, he is his own person and he has hope for the future. He's decided for himself what he wants to do, and that's adventuring and helping others, lending his strength to those who do not have any, in his own weird way. He's physically weaker than Ascendant Astarion, and yet he's got strength to spare.

So what's the flip side? In the ascendant ending, he has power, he has control, he has money. But he's paranoid, he's controlling, and he's terrified of losing it all again, because without it, he believes he's nothing, so having it becomes his one and only purpose. It's also bittersweet, because he finally has everything he wanted, but he'll never again have what he truly needs.

These are like ... classic tropes. You can't have it all. You have to make a choice. The thing you think you want, or the thing you don't know you need. AA stans argue that actually, no. His endings are actually suuuper flat and uninteresting. Either he stays a weak and worthless and fearful spawn, or he becomes a strong and powerful and manly supervampire (let's not unpack the masculinity stuff here cuz that's a whole other bag of yikes). That's the argument they're making. That it's a black and white choice of either you pick the stuff where everything works out forever or the stuff where he's a loser lapdog who has to obey Tav because men must either control to be real men or are controlled pussies who can't do fuck (again, not getting into that here). And it's just literally not how the story is set up. None of the companion stories are this flat. If they were, there wouldn't be any argument or choice to make. No pros and cons to weigh. And it's just logically not a good gameplay mechanic, for a role-playing game.

And yet there are people who are just choosing not to get it, just the way I choose to believe it's a choice for most of them because I don't want to believe so many of these people are genuinely this stupid.

So yeah. That's why I block AA fans on sight. Not because I think their fetish is funny (though I do), but because I genuinely don't think I would have anything to gain from people who fundamentally cannot comprehend extremely basic storytelling techniques when they're practically spelled out for you with not-very-subtle methods. It's not even a thing of consciously choosing the bad ending where he's a very shitty daddy dom because it gets them off, that's literally whatever to me, but the fact that most of them genuinely believe it's somehow the better ending.

Despite. Well all of the shit I wrote above.

So yeah. It's not about enjoying evil characters, to me. People who do generally don't brush the actual evil part under the rug. It's the refusal or apparent inability to grasp extremely basic storytelling concepts lmao. And for what? Pff.

#bg3 #astarion discourse

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dmbakura · 4 months

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Would you say AA has this sense of thinking he /needs/ to be like Cazador, because that's "what works" and what's "safe"? Like this is who he has to be, and nothing else is viable? That's how I interpreted AA's masking (especially during his sex scene, it seems very insincere and more like what he thinks he needs to be than what he wants) and I can't really make it work with Neil's statements honestly.

I also think he's very much capable of cruelty but the way AA acts is something else entirely to me because it's so goofily a Stereotypical Cartoon Villain Big Bad Sexy Vampire which doesn't really come across as honest in the way, let's say, Gortash's antics seem honest from what we know of the character. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what masking means, idk. I'm definitely not saying it's not honest that he wants to do all that power-hungry shit and that he's secretly a pure tortured soul because that's a lame ass reading that contradicts canon but everything about how he carries himself is so uncanny and all those underlying themes of being really fucking afraid and unable to face what happened/running away from it don't lead me to believe he's living an authentic life, more like he's trapped inside himself.

I don't really see how this contradicts anything Neil said. He never says AA is Astarion's most authentic self at all, or even that he's healthy and confident, only that he stops masking with theatrical deflections.

You also have to account for the supernatural element here too. In dnd lore, most true vampires basically succumb to personality rot and become paranoid and obsessive scheming freaks. I know the 'vampire ascendant' is a new thing and bg3 plays with the lore a bit more but considering this is alluded to by Astarion AND Cazador and heavily reflected in AAs behavior, I'm willing to believe that the vampire ascendant is literally just that but on steroids. Hence the cartoonish behavior lol

Astarion's a complex character. A lot of his arc is a question about how trauma can shape a person and what remains (if anything) after they've gone through something inconceivable, and if they can move past it and reclaim an identity for themself. I don't think it's a coincidence that his background is mostly vague and we don't actually know the kind of person he was before he was turned (unlike *those* fans, I also don't believe 'corrupt magistrate' means he was 'always destined to be evil' or some nonsense like that.) So much of his character is informed by the choices made in the game and how the experiences shape his worldview. He's by far the most dynamic character in the game and people want there to be a simple answer to his character (whether that be 'he's a poor uwu baby who did nothing wrong' or 'he's always been irredeemably evil and is incapable of change') when the reality is there just isn't one.

All this to say, same as what I've been saying from the beginning, both endings for him serve a purpose. They're two sides of the same coin for his character. They are both true to Astarion and his development and they're meant to contrast in ways that make you think deeper about him and his story. They absolutely cannot be taken in a vacuum and I am just so annoyed with people not engaging with the story on this level and wanting there to be simple moral platitudes to everything because they're uncomfortable with complexity.

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pastel-starr-bitch · 1 month

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I think what especially bothers me about SOME people who harp on AA being abusive is that honestly it spits in the face of DV survivors. I know it’s not everyone of course, I’m just talking about those who haven’t lived it (I have to emphasize: not everyone’s lived a calm life or one free from abuse) I was in a DV relationship and was abused growing up. Who are you to tell someone what they should enjoy and ASSUME you know more about abuse from a fictional relationship in a video game. On such a high horse that they will actually talk down to those who have lived through REAL abuse as though they somehow know better because they played a fantasy game.

Also — and let me emphasize again, this isn’t a monolith for ALL who hate AA — if you think that abuse is “partner is physically violent and in complete control of their helpless, weak s/o” you have a serious piss-poor grasp of how DV can manifest. To encourage this dynamic for a part of the game you will likely never play, finding catharsis in watching people see a dynamic they enjoy be turned into a ridiculous depiction of violence/DV by the fandom… and to have people literally AFRAID to openly say they enjoy AA narratively…yeah that’s weird as hell to me. Why would you take pleasure in watching people upset? Because you personally don’t like this version of Astarion? Have you considered perhaps… growing up?

TLDR: people who like to say “you don’t understand what abuse is/I’m worried about AA fans” are smug assholes. If you want to say that I am “romanticizing abuse” then I’d kindly ask you to have lived in my shoes— you benefit nothing from being so cruel to strangers you disagree with. Unless you’ve experienced DV/Abuse/etc yourself, get bent. Please do not pretend to be ~worried~ about a group of people when you clearly empathize far more for a cluster of code in a video game

#this is obviously not to say that none of them have experienced DV or abuse #but I’ve seen many more DV survivors find either nothing wrong with this being FANTASY or actually enjoying AA because it’s cathartic #I’m rambling #ascended astarion #bg3 ascended astarion #dv mention #dv tw

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thatartistshar0n · 5 months

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Puns and Fun!

a robocar poli oneshot.

[A/N, nothing much, just crack, puns, fun, and puns that have to do with Poli's name :> got this idea from a comment lol. Also, polyamory at the end hehe, try guessing which ship it is]

"Hey. Hey. Heyyyyyy."

"Helly, no. I'm trying to organize Jin's papers for her-"

"I gotta say something important to you tho!"

It was just another day at the Rescue Team HQ, and surprisingly it was pretty peaceful. No accidents happened in Broomstown, and none of the members were dispatched for any emergencies for once. It was the team's lucky day!

Since it was their rare day off, they decided to just relax and do their own thing. And what did Helly decide to do? Annoy the crap out of Poli.

"Alright, what do you want?" Poli asked sternly, annoyed with Helly's nonsense. The robocopter giggled before speaking- "Okay, okay- what do you call Poli if he was a shape?" From the look on Helly's face, it was clear he was trying not to laugh. That took a while for Poli's mind to process.

"...what?" He tilted his head in puzzlement. "What do you call Poli if he was a shape?" Helly repeated himself. This was getting more harder for him to conceal his laughter. "..." It was only until Poli realised what was going on.

"A POLIGON! Get it? As in polygon? *wheeze*" Helly rolled on the ground in laughter as Poli stared at him in unamusement. "...Wow. Helly, wow." He replied sarcastically. "Helly, please get out of this room before I smack you on the head-" "AA-"

...

Timeskip. After that whole ordeal, Jin was discussing about the plan for tommorow's patrol around town with Poli, Roy and Amber. Helly still hasn't arrived yet. It's not exactly an uncommon occurrence for him to be a bit late for certain things.

"I hope you're all enjoying your break, everyone! We just need to have one meeting about tommorow's patrol, and you all can go back to whatever you were doing." The robocars nodded, though a few of them looked a bit less than pleased for a meeting. Amber was completely fine, Roy looked like he just got his nap interrupted by the Rescue Team's speakers as if they were right next to him, and Poli... well, you know. Nonetheless, the three kept up their professional additudes.

"Poli, you'll check around town central. I've heard there have been more signs of littering lately, and Cleany has been working overtime, so if you run into him, lend a hand for him please." "Sounds good!"

"Roy, you patrol in the suburbs. More children have been playing outside more often on the streets, especially Kevin and Doug- meaning that there'll be more of a risk of injuries, so be on the lookout for any kids on the street." "Got it." Roy yawned softly, but not that loudly, just so he doesn't offend Jin.

"And Amber, your destination is the current construction site for the new train station. This project is going to be a big one, and we don't want any construction accidents happening, so remember to bring your first aid kit and make sure it is ready at all times." "Alright. You can count on me!"

"As always, if you see any suspicious activity going around, remember to report it. ..And Helly isn't here yet. Why am I even surprised.." The blonde said out of disappointment, internally getting ready to scold him once he makes his appearance.

"Aha, yeah.. you know he's like this. Well, not always, but it's somewhat typical of him." Roy chuckled softly at Jin's expression of dissapointment and annoyance. "That's true. I guess you're never going to get used to this, aren't you, Jin?" Amber giggled. Just then, as if on cue, Helly burst open the door to the command room where the other rescue members were in. "I'M HERE!" Helly yelled, laughing loudly, as if he just thought of another pun to spew out.

"Oh no.. please, not another pun-" The police car was already tired of Helly's jokes, he looked like he just wanted to do nothing but flop on the couch and sleep. [A/N and... potentially cuddle with roy bcuz they're both tired, maybe with amber too hehe]

"Helly! I swear, this is the fourth time in a week you have been late to another meeting! When will you lear-" Jin scolded. "Hold on! I got a good one!" Helly said those words in between laughter. "A good one? A good what?" She questioned.

"Hehe, okay- just listen." "If Poli, Roy and Amber were in polyamorous relationship, what would their ship name be?"

"wait... HUH-?!" The three of them instantly started blushing. They were clearly flustered and were caught offguard.

"POLIAMROY! As in POLYAMORY!"

Before the three knew it, their faces were flushing quite excessively. The look of pure embarrassment and flusteredness was right in front of Helly and Jin. The way Helly blurted out those words so suddenly just caught them so off guard that they couldn't comprehend any words for a few seconds.

"D-Damn you, Helly...!" Poli was trying to hide his blush with his arms, and then immediately tried to get out of the situation by running out of the room, but just ended up accidentally hitting his face against the wall.

"W-Wha- you- why would you- oh gosh..." Amber's cheeks were more pink than the paint on her. This may have been the most flustered she's ever been- and she's quite adorable too. If she had a thermometer with her now, her temperature would be probably be as high as a fever.

Roy? He just couldn't speak. Yeah, he'd probably need a fire hose to cool him off and reduce the heat he's experiencing from being so flushed.

Helly couldn't stop giggling at their priceless faces. Jin was just astonished, and even felt a little amused by the sight in front of her. She even chuckled a bit. "..Well, this wasn't something I was expecting to see today. Well, our meeting's dismissed, and if you're all still in your flustered state by tommorow, we might have to postpone the patrol, shouldn't we?"

#robocar poli #robocar poli roy #robocar poli amber #robocar poli helly #robocar poli jin #polyamourous #polyamory #poly ship #robocar poli fanfiction #robocar poli oneshot #lgbtqia

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the-magicians-blue · 2 years

Note

hi! I haven't seen any blogs doing Micah content, so color me surprised- your writing style is so good too?? aa?? may I offer up the idea of visiting him to get away from stress or maybe family problems? good fluff times w him to distract from life :0! if not it's totally okay, and I hope you're well!

This is so cute I-

I have been having huge writers block on what to write for characters from other games/shows/comics so I’m more than happy to take this request! Thank you for liking my writing!

7:59pm

Everything sucked. Work was stressful, and your parents sudden want to have a say so in your life after months of radio silence wasn’t helping. The constant complaining about you living alone and still being single was getting tiring. You weren’t even single anymore! You just didn’t want them trying to meddle in your relationship with Micah. Your parents randomly popping up to your house trying to arrange a date was the final straw. You needed space, away from work, away from your parents. You needed comfort, you needed Micah. Yeah you could vent to him on video call, but you wanted him next to you, and you were gonna make that happen

After taking some time to plan and pack you were ready to go. You hadn’t told him you were coming to visit during your daily calls. He had gotten a little suspicious when he noticed you snooping around in his computer, but he just thought you were trying to send him a little gift. You had to admit, Micah was right about it being child’s play to find someone’s address, you just never had a need to do so.

When the day finally came you had told Micah that the company you were working for was sending you out of town so you wouldn’t be able to talk until tomorrow. Luckily he took the excuse (though he still was suspicious) and you were on a plane to his house.

My Angel <3: Hey

My Angel <3: You home right now?

Micah Yujin: Yeah? Why?

Micah Yujin: Wait

Micah Yujin: WAIT HOLD ON

From outside you suddenly heard running, something getting knocked over and Micah apologizing to an annoyed Skrunkly. Before you knew it he was swinging his door open and he starts screeching with joy when he sees you.

“OH MY GOD WAIT YOU PULLED A ME YOU’RE HERE HI WHAT THE FUCK!?”

He pulled you into a hug, spinning you around and planting kisses you all over your face. He was so excited he could cry tears of joy. It had been a while since he came to visit you and with what he had been hearing from you about your job and your family he had been thinking about coming over again but here you were at his door step.

“So why exactly did you come here? Don’t get me wrong, I could pass out with how excited I am that you’re here but… nothing serious happened did it?”

After assuring him things were find and you just needed a break from your job and your family he nodded and let you in. He was more than happy to have you with him. He doesn’t ask to much about what’s going on back home for you either, he knows thats not what you’re here for.

When you’re at his house you’re royalty and he is your personal butler thats also your secret lover those were his exact words don’t @ me. Whatever you want to do that’s what the two if you are gonna do, even if its just laying in bed all day and snuggling Skrunkly. You do eventually get to have your little competition of who’s the best back rubber between you both. Skrunkly ended up picking Micah but you claim he cheated since Micah feeds her of course he’d win. As compensation you do get to experience the back rub treatment Skrunkly got and quickly realized why Micah won in the first place. Micah’s grip was gentle yet firm as he meticulously worked out the kinks in your back. The feeling was so relaxing you found yourself falling asleep. Micah found it cute how by the time he was finished you were sleeping soundly.

He cooks for you every day you’re there except for the night he wanted to take you out. He made a big show out of it too. He took you shopping for formal clothes, bought you flowers and took you to a fancy restaurant together. While places like that aren’t really his thing he made you giggle at how dramatic he was about it all. He refused to let you open any door, joked around with a fake rich person accent, and of course you brought Skrunkly with you both. She had her own little pearl necklace and everything. It was all in good fun but above all he just wanted to show you a good time. And he’ll admit, getting to see you all dressed up does something to him.

He loved getting to show you his room and his set up. He would let you play on his computer around a bit but according to him there was something on there that he’d get in big trouble for showing you. It was really because he had about 10 songs he wrote about you he was too embarrassed to share yet and about 100 screenshots of your face during calls that he did NOT want you finding out about.

On your last night before you went back home Micah gave you a small gift box, his face a tinge of red. When you opened it inside was a necklace with angel wings and a key.

“Angel wings for my angel~ Oh! And… the key to my place. I-if you ever need to run away again just come. You don’t have to worry about letting me know, I will always want you here with me ok?”

You could cry with how sweet Micah was. He had so much trust in you and loved you so much. You hugged him tightly, wanting to stay now more than ever.

#error143 #micah yujin #micah yujin fluff #micah yujin x reader #please play error143!#micah x reader

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bananasfosterparent · 1 month

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Playthrough Updates!

Just some rambles about my recent playthroughs...

Solenia the Drow Cleric of Elistraee

Finally found her hair that I'm satisfied with!!! And sorry Efenity, I know I always put you in this dress, but it's Sol's now 🤩 she rocks it so well!

She saved the grove and flirted with Gale and Halsin. I should note, this was my first time since my very first playthrough that I saved the grove and for a minute there I had no idea what to do or where you're supposed to go after the fight 🤣 if you side with minty and the gobos, it just cuts right to the party after it's all over.

She is currently in the Underdark and is reminded why people dislike her underground kin so much.

I made her to be paired with Gale but hooonestly...Halsin might be the play. We'll just have to see 👀

Enyana the Dryad (Wood Elf Druid)

Surprise! New Tav. Enyana (yes, name after Enya lol) is a dryad who's very far from home. Too far. She keeps a part of her tree with her, on her body, but she never intended to be so far away from home after getting kidnapped and crash landing in the mindflayer ship.

Enyana is a sassy but very kind person who believes in sticking up for yourself and not letting others take advantage of you. She didn't let Astarion drink her blood and I have never seen him so sad!!! 😭😭 But oh well lmao she refused to let him take advantage of her vulnerability like that.

I didn't make her to romance anyone in particular, but thought perhaps she would go for Halsin....turns out she seems to like Gale a lot more 🤣

Efenity the Storm Sorcerer (canon run #3000 lmao)

Sweet, evil Efe, my beloved. 😌💜

Nothing crazy going on in this run...it's just my "usual" run for her. It's like the 6th time I've played as her and H O P E F U L L Y this time I will finish the game and actually get to see the epilogue with her and AA!!!😩👌🏽

She's getting there! Currently in the Underdark as well, just working on the Myconid quests. Next one is the Nere quest.

I also have her a new do for the funsies. I really like it on her! I also got this mod that really makes all the eyes "pop" and glow. That's why her orange eye looks so glowy!

Nordicai the Tiefling Rogue (Durge!!!)

BABY'S FIRST DURGE!!!!

I took a really long time to make one but I finally did 😌 Meet Nordicai! He's a meph tiefling and an arcane trickster rogue!

So my whole concept is ...I wanted him to be as edgy and intimidating and BAMF looking as possible, like the kind of dude you don't bring to the family dinner, because he's... a resist Durge who's super docile and sweet and has no idea what's going on most of the time 🤣 I was amused by the concept of that contrast.

Also didn't make him with any specific romance in mind but it seems he is leaning toward Shadowheart 👀 never romanced her before so we'll see how that goes.

Still working on Silkina but no new screenshot yet. Just got to the goblin camp fight and working my way through that! Haven't played her in a hot minute, but she'll be next!

Forgot about my Efeniti spawn run AU 🤣🤣 one day I'll play you spawn ending. One day.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate oc #baldur's gate iii #bg3 tav #bg3 #bg3 durge #durge #dark urge #Efenity #Solenia #noridcai #Enyana #tav x gale #tav x astarion #tav x shadowheart #tav x halsin

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trashlie · 10 months

Text

ILY FP 235

It's been 2 weeks since this episode dropped, you'd think this would be an easy one to write about but I feel SO overwhelmed by all my feelings but AAAAHHHHHHHHHH I want this to be out of the way AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I want all my screaming to be in one place so HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

WHAT AN EPISODE I LOVE THIS EPISODE AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD IN HERE AND I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST GETTING EVERYTHING I WANT HANDED TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER like quimchee PLS this feast you keep serving up is SO DECADANT!!!!!!

I wanted Girl Talk SO badly and OH MY GOD quimchee DELIVERED!!!!!! There's something SO satisfying about this talk, for what it reveals but also what it sets up. Shinae and Maya had a number of reasons to never be close to each other before, and now they have the opportunity to start over for REAL, and what a way to do it! Something I've always loved about Shinae is that she is not an "I'm not like other girls" character. She isn't dismissive of things that are feminine just because they're girly in nature - if anything, she's just never had the time/money/space/influence in her life to dig into them. Her best friend is a guy and she was never comfortable enough with Maya and Rika to explore these things. Starting over provides her that chance, the opportunity to take a chance on the things that scare her and I am SO excited for that, to see how it plays out!

Maya and Shinae's friendship is INCREDIBLY important to me, and Maya, the one who has so famously shipped Shinae with anyone in effort to get rid of her and not have to compete for her brother's attention, being the one to make her aware of her feelings is SO. FUNNY! TO ME!!!!!!

There's also something so incredibly funny about the fact that, yes, Shinae IS acting "out of character" because, for the first time in her life, she's behaving her age. She's being a moody teenager, complete with the sass and saying terrible (if not true) things (I audibly GASPED when she told Simhan he wasn't really around to raise her!). Of course no one else knows how to deal with this; Simhan has never had to deal with a moody teenager because Shinae has spent her entire life trying not to take up space, stuffing her feelings down, trying not to be a burden, trying to be good and not make waves, so now that she is doing the opposite, he's at a loss! Minhyuk, too, is at a similar loss, because this is nothing like the Shinae he knows! But Maya! Maya, a teenage girl herself who has doesn't repress her negative feelings as much? She knows. Oh she KNOWS.

There's something about that family meal that feels... bittersweet. I love the panel from the stair-view where Lil Buddy is sleeping and we can look down and see everyone gathering at the table to eat together - a proper family meal that Shinae never has, to announce big news. But the big news feels so foreboding with what we've seen, and the choice of words. Simhan admits shame at having failed three times now to get over his alcohol addiction and asserts that this will be the last attempt - because he intends it to be, because he has people who have his back, because he's trying to get help for real this time. Knowing what we do about Yui, though.... I can't help but be worried about the word use! And the previous imagery of the hanging chain over him at his neck? UGH, GOD.

We know Yui has overheard Simhan's plans to attend AA, and I really, REALLY hope Shinae does go with him to the first meeting, in case Yui is already showing up. I think the main fandom fear is that Yui would slip in and try to seduce him, try to get him to go back to drinking, maybe even go as far as to stage something to frame him for sexual assault, or you know, far worse, kill him. I... really don't want to go that route and I HOPE we aren't. It's bad enough Shinae has already lost her mom. I DON'T want her to lose her dad, as well. There's similar imagery/foreshadowing regarding Rand and a heart attack and despite what a bad father Rand's been, I don't want Nol to lose HIS father, either! Shinae has already struggled, and honestly this feels SO hopeful and having it dangled in front of us like this almost feels cruel, the what could have been, if Yui didn't get in the way. What I'm really hoping instead happens is, if Shinae DOES catch sight of Yui at the meeting, maybe she'd put 2 and 2 together and realize that Yui is trying to get Simhan in her clutches in order to corner Shinae, and instead of giving Yui the satisfaction and allowing her to harm someone important to her, Shinae might make an offer to "trade" herself.

As readers we already know Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer. Yui gets what Yui wants and she knows exactly how to do it, how to exploit peoples' weaknesses and corner them until they have nowhere left to run. She's already done this to Shinae! She doesn't have to do it again. So I think this is the best way for Shinae to end up taking up Yui's offer. Rand has already told her it's inevitable, she can do nothing to get out. And if it means people she cares about will be put in harms way, then she'll do the very thing she doesn't want to in order to save them.

I just... I don't want Simhan to die. I WANT Shinae to have her blended family unit. I know she's ultimately going to have to take Yui's offer and while this isn't ENTIRELY on her own terms, it's enough so that she can still feel in control, that she's making a choice, instead of being driven to it and losing everything she has left.

Something that comes up a lot with other readers is how Nol would feel if Shinae took Yui's offer, knowing how he feels about Alyssa doing it, but I think this current arc is about Nol starting to open up and talk to his friends, so that if Shinae DOES take this offer up this way, they can talk about it and he would understand how it's different than Alyssa's naive idolization of Yui, and how she was willing to do whatever Yui asked. Nol knows how Shinae feels about Yui, and more importantly, he knows how she hurts people and why Shinae would put herself in that position if it means saving her father.

I just UGGGHGHHHHHH I have FEELINGS about this, because for so long Shinae wanted her father and mother to get back together and when she grew old enough to know it was never going to happen she was just left to STRUGGLE. To feel like a burden at every turn! Adults made her feel like trash! People treated her like trash! They didn't have money and her father was spending what little they did on his addiction and she couldn't even guarantee when her next meal would be! The idea of her having a brother and a sister, a family unit who work together, who can get through things because they're not alone? ;~;

That Shinae, who is so emotionally overwhelmed already, started crying because of how happy it made her. PLEASE Simhan CAN'T die we can't go through that!!!!! It would be TOO cruel!!!! ;______;

But man, this episode was just a ROLLER COASTER of emotions! Shinae is just GOING through it. It's like she's fast tracking her way through puberty complete with every mood swing you would ever need. That she goes from happy tears about to eat to seeing Nol on tv watching Alyssa and acts like THAT?! SCREAMS

And on some level, it's almost funny - because Shinae has just learned that the relationship is fake, that Alyssa means nothing to Nol, that he resents her and her Yui idolatry. And yet

And yet

The JEALOUSY. The INSECURITY. It's not just that Nol is watching Alyssa - it's that he's looking at her like that, because we KNOW Shinae is very attracted to that aspect of him. She likes his "darker" side, she likes Nol. Now, again, as readers we know Nol isn't making that face because he feels anything about Alyssa. Frankly that's just... kinda his face being surrounded by all those people lmao but the way SHINAE sees it?

It's not limited to only that, either. Minhyuk there saying all those things about Alyssa - that she's got talent, the looks, she's famous now, what's she doing with someone like him. While it's not at all what Minhyuk means, it's like blow after blow, because it's true. Alyssa is a hot idol, anyone would kill to be her or be with her. She's famous. She has that body, she has those looks. What would someone with a girlfriend like that see in someone like Shinae? At the same time, too, Minhyuk is pointing out Nol's bad reputation, and how it would make those associated with him look.

But mostly, yes, it's the insecurity. It's seeing Nol and Alyssa at this Hirahara party in a world to which Shinae does not belong, because she is not part of this elite, uppercrust, socialite world. She is reminded viscerally that Nol has a girlfriend - a gorgeous, talented, famous girlfriend - and what he told her about his feelings towards Alyssa are long out of sight. Insecurity is such a gnawing beast, gnashing its teeth at her, pointing out every flaw, every aspect where she probably thinks she falls short.

Ngl, even if it sounds bad lmao I really like seeing this part of Shinae, because it's just one of those aspects of pining and yearning that I LOVE - mentally comparing yourself to someone with who you think you can't possibly measure up. Comparing yourself to someone you think outshines you. Even though the conscience thought isn't there in her head - how can he possibly look at me when he has that instead - it still fills her stomach like bile doesn't it? It's like she's walked face first into a glass door and doesn't realize WHAT the door represents, WHAT it means yet.

And GOD THE DELIGHTFUL GIRL TALK FINALLY ARRIVES!!!!!!

Just a couple notes: there are two different manga series in Maya's room, one called Relax! HE'S JUST A FRIEND, and the other IT ALL STARTS WITH REVENGE. Listen. LISTEN TO ME. You see what I'm seeing, right? You see what's cooking? ALFKKJAKFKAJFKAFJK SCREAMING!!!! Such POINTED names! And not only that, but the content of the spicy manga that Shinae saw? Believe me, that WILL be coming back. The smut is too pointed to NOT show up in Shinae's dreams lmao. That's not his knee SCREAMS

The funniest thing to me is that Maya gets SO MUCH MORE than she bargained for with Shinae. She just wants her to tell her what's going on but here's Shinae, just obtuse as hell, almost willfully belligerently obtuse, and she just keeps going on without GETTING IT.

Once again, I'm always in awe of how quimchee chooses to write this story, and the reveals, because they always go in directions I would have thought about. Girl Talk (for us) essentially beginning with Maya reminding her that she did, in fact, take issue with the fact that Shinae and Minhyuk were always together, and that it's a thing she's still working on, that something like those feelings doesn't just magically go away, even if she's ready to start over and be friends anew.

Maya telling Shinae, point blank, that it sounds like Nol likes her and is being mean so she doesn't find out? LOVE IT. Shinae popping out looking a little deranged to say "no he has a girlfriend" LOVE IT. LMAO Absolutely LOVE that panel.

Shinae has this really funny black and white view of relationships despite, again, Nol told her Alyssa means nothing, that relationship isn't real! He has a girlfriend only in that it's a title, and nothing more. Not that, you know, feelings work like that. Rand had a wife who likely meant nothing to him and he still fell in love with someone else. Feelings are complicated and if they were easier to control, would Nol have fallen for the same girl his best friend did? Would he have fallen for someone if he has a girlfriend?

Feelings are not that tidy, and neither are Shiae's.

(An aside, Maya's "Teehee! I love this part!" is SO meta. She speaks for us. She IS us!)

Maya is the only person who has really seen Shinae through all of this. She knew who Shinae was pre-Alyssa, who she was as a result of Alyssa, and she's been watching all the changes made since Nol entered her life. Simhan is always busy working and when he's not, he's blacked out from drinking. Minhyuk is a year ahead of them, so he wasn't there for Shinae's last year of middle school and has been in the U.S. this whole time. Maya alone has watched Shinae go from that bright, boisterous middle schooler to someone who "lets things go" and pretends nothing bothers her, pretend she doesn't care what people are saying or doing, pretend she's unaffected. Maya has watched her change not only opening up, but caring about things. And especially caring about these boys.

And that's what's important here. Shinae is so vexed, so bothered, SO UPSET that she cannot let it go. And she feels more strongly this way about one of them over the other.

My favorite part of this episode is when they're talking about their friends - how Maya describes Rika and it's so clear why they're best friends, how they get along and how they click, the ways they compliment each other. But I really loved Maya saying what makes her and Shinae friends. As much as it's true they weren't getting along before, it's not that Maya never cared. She DID - that's why it hurt so much! She wouldn't have tackled Kousuke if she DIDN'T care. But just seeing them have that discussion between each other? SOBBING Shinae admitting that she's afraid of all those girly things, not that she looks down on them, and how they pull her out of her shell. ;A;

All this time, Shinae has been trying to compare Nol to Minhyuk, because he is THE most important person in her life, her BEST friend. It's all she knows, and if Nol is just as important to her as Minhyuk, they must be comparable. But we know she's been trying to stuff him into a box he doesn't fit, because he ISN'T Minhyuk. He's not platonic, not simply friends. There's more.

It's EASY for her to talk about what she likes about Minhyuk because that's their relationship. It's easy, it's effortless, they clicked from the get go and he became very much like a brother to her (sidebar: I LOVE that frame of her with her head in his lap IT'S SO CUTE I LOOOOVE IT).

Likewise, Dieter is easy to talk about, too. Notably, the things she likes about him are the things she gets out of their relationship - he's comforting, he's secure. She literally says he's like a teddy bear. Something that doesn't get talked about a lot is that when it comes to Shinae and Dieter's relationship, she is take take take. She doesn't mean to, and it's partly because Dieter doesn't draw that boundary. He lets her take take take. But the needs Dieter fills as a friend all entail comforting her. She states that it's almost like Dieter understands her feelings better than she does because it's true. He knows the things she hasn't figured out and he sits there and lets her lean on him despite how much it hurts him. He's helping her and taking care of her but who is taking care of him? ;______;

And while Shinae thinks that she has nothing nice to say about Nol, because she's so focused on how bad he's making her feel, she can't help it....

ALL THE SCENES! FROM HER POINT OF VIEW! AS THEY BECOME FRIENDS! AS HE INSERTS HIMSELF INTO HER LIFE! AS HE GOES FROM A YELLOW CAUTION AS SHE WARMS UP TO HIM AS THE BACKGROUND TURNS RED. THE FORMAL AND HIS SHEEPISH EXPRESSION WHILE DOING HER MAKE UP, SUCH A CRITICAL MOMENT FOR THEM.

I WANT TO HOWL FOREVER ABOUT HOW FOUNDATIONAL THE KIM FORMAL WAS and how we've known it and it was always there but to see it confirmed and reinforced like that, that this was the night, the MOMENT those feelings began to shift, began to blur, how there was now something more to the friendship, that she was affected by him. That night was absolutely CRUCIAL and had it not ended the way it did, she would still have felt the way she did. It still lead to that honest heart to heart. And we know it was similar for Nol, that this was a night in which they tethered themselves to each other, the times he put his needs above anything else - even the ire of his father - and the times he reached to her, the way he felt seen in a place where normally he felt so invisible.

GOD the confirmation is just soooooo !!!!!!!!!!!! INSANE!!!!!!

AND THE BACKGROUND COLORS?! THAT GRADUAL CHANGE FROM CAUTION TO FEELINGS? To the bleak black where everything changed, where HE donned the blindfold but it blinded her, too. All of these feelings, so confused, so turbulent and uncertain.

He lifts her blindfold and we see her chest but it's just her lungs - her heart is there.

And she's SO FERAL! She feels SO STRONGLY! About Minhyuk or Maya or Dieter, she can talk about what she likes, what she feels, but when it's Nol it's just turbulence, it's just the STRONGEST emotions, it's RAGE, it's FERAL ENERGY.

"If you won't let me have you...."

AND EVERYONE WAS DEAD IN THE CHAT ALKFJAKFKAJFKJAFKJJAF LKAJFKAFKAF ALFJAKFJKAFJ LJAFKJAKF ALFKJAKFJ

LIKE SHE REALLY SAID THAT! WITH HER OWN MOUTH! OF HER OWN VOLITION. "IF YOU WON'T LET ME HAVE YOU"

SHE WANTS HIM SO BAD and she wants him to herself and she wants to see the parts of him that he hides she wants to see the things he doesn't want to share and she wants it ALL and she is SO feral about it!!!!!!!

The way she is BLUSHING and frustrated and if she can't have him, he can't have any of her things (as if that was ever a question)

But there's one thing he's taken that she can't get back. HEHEHEHEHEHE.

I LOVE the emphasis on Maya's expression at this part, how she's just SHOCKED, her eyes wide her brows high because WHO IS THIS IS THIS REALLY SHINAE? Because she KNOWS she KNOWS what Shinae doesn't want to know and it's SO CLEAR.

She's so defensive! It's RIGHT THERE in front of her face and she keeps turning a blind eye, refusing, because NO of couRSE NOT hwo could she LIKE him he has a girlfriend what kind of person is she to like someone who has a girlfriend to like someone who is so important to her to like someone to whom she's SO DRAWN. She accuses Maya of projecting because what can she really know, she only knows smutty manga - but it's funny because that's the thing isn't it? Maya at least has experienced that secondhand. Shinae is feeling things she can't even IDENTIFY, so much WANT.

I CAN'T believe she actually BIT MAYA LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOL WAS THIS CLOSE TO BITING SHINAE AND HAD TO KICK HER OUT OF HIS ROOM BECAUSE HE COULD NOT BE ALONE WITH HER, HE ABSOLUTELY COULDN'T AND HE COULDN'T TELL HER WHY

AND SHINAE DOES THE SAME EXACT THING.

SHE BITES HER AND KICKS HER OUT OF THE ROOM.

GOD. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she's so funny wth ;_______;

It's so funny how Nol and Shinae respond to their feelings the same way lmao like, they each try to deny it, it can't be true, there's no way "I don't have time for this", kicking people out of rooms, fully feral (though I daresay Nol is holding himelf together better, but only barely) but here she is BITING her friend, kicking her out of her room, blushing at the realization that what Maya said is TRUE.

Also uhhh can't help but notice that she's finally able to go to sleep after she thinks she'll be going to see Nol. Knowing that Dieter will come by, she's finally able to pass out.

GIRL.

/GIRL/

Something else that is funny to me is that Minhyuk describes Shinae as "ornery" as if she was just being frisky or something LMAO going around fighting everyone and BITING MAYA LMAO.

And frankly, it's for the best that Dieter goes to see Nol alone. Firstly, Minhyuk describing how Shinae was acting just further solidifies what he saw, what he knows, why she's behaving that way. Can he really be alone with her right now, trying to be a dependable friend when all it does is hurts her? But also, it's for the best, because Nol and Dieter need to talk, and it's not just about Shinae, though that's part of it. Nol keeps pushing everyone away, including Shinae, and we all, including Dieter, know Nol is only going to continue doing so for his sake, and like, let's be real. That's not what Dieter wants. He doesn't want pity. He doesn't want people denying what they want. He doesn't need to be treated like a baby, and I hope he stands up for himself that way, and stands up for Shinae, and more importantly, I hope he calls out Nol on the kind of friend he's been.

Dieter is the one who knows the least about anything. He was there playing mediator without even knowing how Nol showed back up, Nol who blocked them and told them to stop contacting him, Nol who he was resigned to accepting had left.

Nol owes Dieter a LOT of explanations and I, for one, am SO EXCITED.

GOD what a good episode, it was honestly a MASTERPIECE and I never get over reading it lmao Shinae's so vulnerable blushing expression upon realizing that Maya is RIGHT? Oh I LOVE it. I love my feral cat Shinae I LOVE THEM.

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #WAAAAAHHHH I BARELY MADE IT #i have just enough time to relax and go make dinner and be ready for tonight's ep LMAO #Shinae Yoo #Maya Park #Minhyuk Park #Alyssa Cho #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Simhan Yoo #Stalkyoo #Aegi #I LOVE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUUUUUCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHH #it gave me EVERYTHING i wanted!#including feral energy to match my own alfjafkkajfkjafjkaf LMAO

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