#also I feel like I've had enough coffee for a month MY BODY IS STILL SHAKING LOL??

[lvlyghost]

Salvation II

Pairings: John Price x F!Reader

Summary: after a few months since his last visit, john finally gets the chance to see the girl.

Word Count: 1.2k

Tw:angst, fluff, slightly suggestive (not really) but just in case, mentions of abduction but nothing too explicit. kate shows up bc we stan🫶🏻 john being a softie 🥹✨💞also not proofread🐸

A/N: omg i can't thank y'all enough for the love the first part got🫰🏻🥰 I hope you like this part as much! Please remember english isn't my first language, corrections are appreciated as usual🩵

Masterlist✨ | Part I | Part III

The soft sound of rain outside the house, lightning and a thunder shake the windows. Carrying two cups of hot cocoa in both hands as she walks where John is waiting for her in the living room. He's scrolling through his phone and immediately puts it down when he sees her. A soft smile makes its way to his lips.

She figured she'd make something warm for them to drink. The rain had come pouring down unexpectedly at the fair, which made them run to John's car to no avail. They were soaking wet by the time they reached the automobile, laughing and enjoying the presence of each other.

"We should take a bath before we get sick."

He had suggested, as soon as she opened the door. John had tried to shield her with his coat and beanie, although it could only do so much. Her teeth were chattering, still never losing that damn smile he had grown fond of.

So here they were now, engulfed in their pajamas ready to get some rest. The stuffed otter was placed on the sofa across from him. She handed John the mug to which he thanked and took a small sip.

"Probably not as good as your Earl Grey but..."

"It's perfect, love. C'mere." He pats the empty spot next to him. She obliges, crossing her legs as she sits. A comfortable silence falls between the two for a moment when the sky rumbles again.

"Doctor said once I'm able to go back to social life I should try to go on a date you know?" She began, shaking her head as if the mere idea was delusional. Her thumb absentmindedly tracing the rim of the mug. "Get to know people. She called it healing." She scoffs. "As if it was that easy."

Taking a sip, John watches as she bites her lip. He can't help it but a strange feeling sets in his gut.

"Is that so crazy, sweetheart?" She turns to him, studying his features with a small frown. "You deserve to be happy. Every single day, you deserve that and much more."

"I... I-" she stutters. "What if they think I'm weird John? I can hardly be myself. What happens when they ask about my life? I'm scared. Every time I close my eyes I'm back in that place..." she glances up to the ceiling, glossy eyes threatening to mimic the pouring rain outside. "I'm never going to be normal. Never going to be whole again...-

"Are you afraid of me?" He interrupts her, forcing her to turn to gaze at him. Swallowing saliva, she meets his bright blue eyes. He's dead serious. The cup long forgotten as he had placed it on the small coffee table. She shook her head.

"You saved me. You've seen what I've been through, and no,..." she stops him when he opens his mouth. "I know you've read the files. You must've in order to know what you were getting yourself into, John. And not just you but your team. And every time you look at me I see it. You were there when I testified... no one knows better than you... nobody knows me better than you." She's choking on her own words when she's finished, tears streaming down her face.

John wastes no time, pulling her into his lap as she hugs him as if her life depends on him.

It probably did.

Sobbing and hiding her face in the crook of his neck she feels the pain, the tension, the agony subside; John holds her small shaking frame against his body. He was often scared to touch her even if it was something so innocent like a hug. Something like this. Even when he wanted nothing more than to be near her. Be the one to shield her from the bad dreams, when the memories of the atrocious life she was forced to endure came to haunt her. He's tracing soft circles on her arm in an attempt to soothe her.

"I could never be afraid of you." She assures him.

-

"Do you know how many people I had to call?" Kate asks him not waiting for a response. Both looking at the girl sitting in the room behind the tinted window. "Twelve."

"I get it Kate." He grumbles. "Thank you. I owe you." He crosses his arms not losing sight of the girl he recently rescued. "I just wish they had given her more time to heal. She's in a bad shape, can't they bloody see?"

"I was thinking the same, but the clock is ticking. We can't afford to lose more time."

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He's barely gotten any sleep since the mission. She had held his arm the entire ride back. Squeezing with all the strength she had left in her system

"What's gonna happen to her once this is over?"

Kate side eyes John, wondering why he cares so much.

"The NCA will take over from here. Most likely be put under witness protection and given a new identity. Just like the rest of the survivors."

"Hmm." Grunting he takes a step forward.

"John?" She quirks a brow.

"I might just need one last favor."

"Of course." She rolls her eyes feigning annoyance. "This is gonna cost you two tickets for the soccer game next week."

John turns to her.

"You mean the football match?" He politely corrects her.

"I meant what I meant."

"All I remember that morning is I was getting ready for high school. Said goodbye to my grandmother and left. We lived in a complex of apartments with an underground parking lot. She had an old red cavalier that belonged to my grandfather. Last thing I recall is opening the door and then nothing. Just... nothing for years."

-

She feels John standing up from the sofa carrying her body in his strong arms. She doesn't have to look, just know he's taking her to the bedroom. Before he can lay her down on the mattress she gets off of him. Bare feet touching the cool wooden floor. John is about to ask what's wrong. Maybe he made it look like...

She kisses him on the lips. It's quick and it takes him by surprise. Her cheeks flush and eyes go wide, he smiles fondly.

"Do that again." He prompts her.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asks with pleading eyes.

"For as long as you want me to." She grabs him by the neck and pulls him down to her level.

"It's okay John. Even if I have ghosts I know you'll make them disappear."

That's all he needs to hear. His hands find her waist, all doubt gone. All this time he was terrified that he'd scare her, not wanting to make the first move. John respected her and wanted the girl to feel safe around him. That's why now after hearing those words he lets himself feel her. The soft edges of her delicate skin. Her labored breathing.

He kisses her soft lips, hand coming up to caress her cheek and then, right there he knows she's let all her walls down for him. Letting him in, see all the parts she thought would have to bury for eternity.

He ought to do the same for her. He has his own ghosts. John needed salvation too. Perhaps in a different way.

And if anyone ever dare to try to harm her, taker her away from him...

He'd kill them all.

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #cod #cod mw2 #cod x reader #john price #john price x reader #cod ghost #cod konig #cod mw22 #simon riley x reader #soap mactavish x reader #gaz x reader #call of duty mwii #john price imagine #cod john price #john price x you #task force 141

[heartfullofleeches]

I am not sucrose anon but I am equally cursed and also a barista and I would like a coffee shop AU where reader owns a popular cafe using coffee sweetened with Sucrose fluids a la Sweeney Todd

I'm gonna drain the bitch

[Warnings: (candy) body horror if you squint. Reader commits a health code violation. (Does it count if they're a person made of pure sugar?) Either way, they commit some sort of crime against humanity and minors dni]

You smile at the next customer approaches the counter. "Hi, what can I get for you today?"

"Hello, can I get a cherry surprise frappe?"

You eye the door to the back, a blur of pink ducking behind the glass. "Oh, I'm sorry, but we just ran out of the main ingredient for that. It's one of our most popular drinks. If you can wait a minute, I'll run to the back real quick to grab another bottle."

Excusing yourself from the customer and the growing crowd, you head to the back. Recollections of your life before the sudden popularity boost of your cafe flood your mind as passive conversation buzzes around you.

"This is the best coffee shop I've ever been to."

"I wake up an hour earlier to beat the morning rush, but now it looks like I'll have to get up an extra thirty minutes before."

Such praise was but a fever dream for you until three short months ago. It's understandable for business to take a while to pick off when you're starting from the ground up, but almost a year in and no sign of major progress would damper just about anyone's spirits. All your troubles and woes changed that fate-filled day - when the kind baker from across the street offered you their special ingredients.

"Sucrose? You busy?"

A breathy, shaken trial at laughter comes from one of the counters; legs twitching at the note of concern in your voice. Busy - what a silly question to ask. As a model baker and business owner, Sucrose prided themselves in having fresh stock every morning and enough to last the entire day. Slaving through the night and lacking a need for sleep left their hands free for the more important things to do during the day, such as the task you'd dumped on them since your merge.

"hehe.. r...right here, gumdrop, same as always. Was starting to get a little long without ya.. Need my assistance?" Sucrose props themselves up on the smooth metal surface, melting, sticky thighs glueing them to place. You hand on their bare chest guides them to a full upright position, thumb and index finger rolling over their hardened buds.

"Not really, besides the usual. We ran out right in the middle of a rush so I have to make this quick."

Sucrose swallows, pinkish saliva trailing down their lips as their eyes fog over. "Y-yes, muffin. I'm still a little stimulated from the last few rounds, but anything for you..."

That drink really was only meant for you. Seeing their favorite human in trouble, Sucrose wanted to help out in the best way their sickeningly sweet heart could muster. Human emotion was still a new thing for them. They were bursting with so much love for that cute barista across the street that it came out in ways indescribable with words. Being sweeter than the average individual, they saw no harm in pouring their love into something to make you feel better, so they made their best attempt at iced coffee with the knowledge they picked up watching you. The look you gave them when you came back for more made it impossible to say no.

"It's almost funny really. I thought we had filled up two bottles alone last night, but they were empty before noon." Dropping to your knees, you roll the baker's apron and skirt up to their stomach, erection peaked and sprouting upwards free from the restrain of the tangled frills. The shaft was that same bubblegum pink as most of their body, head teetering on rouge. Teasing your tongue across the leaking tip produces more of that cherry flavoring so many had come love, but relief for the already frazzled baker was cut brief as you remember you had forgotten something. Sucrose picked up on your mistake the second you fell to the floor - producing a bottle with a funnel before you could go far. Their eyes avoid yours as another weak fit of laughter hits them.

"That... is definitely odd, haha. As you can see I've been in here all day so I couldn't possibly have had a hand in-..ah!"

While you'd love to hear their excuses, you have customers to get back to. Glossing your lips up their shaft as they spoke, you cut Sucrose's speech short as you part them slipping the confectioner's cock into the warmth of your mouth. Sweet as the cupcakes they're famous for, the taste of cherry taffy washes your taste buds coating the walls of your mouth sweetness as you pump your tongue in tandem with each bob of your head. Sucrose was completely over the edge with your speed and all the "preparation" they'd done while watching you from the window. Could there be any turn on greater than seeing your beloved hard at work, and hands deep in product of your own making.

"Oh.. Sweetheart, give a fiend a warning next time...aha.."

Sucrose shoves their apron so far down their throat they would've choked if they had the needs. In the same vein they could feel their cock hitting the back of yours, all willpower bled into keeping their hands on the counter and their moans to a minimum. The fans would cut out most of the sound, but they didn't want to risk anything that could jeopardize their time with you. Sucrose's lust would be the end of your already limited time together as their hands reach down to tangle in your hair. You brace yourself for what's to come by grabbing onto their leg and angling your head in a better position for the brute pace they'd set.

"Y/n... love you.." Throwing their free leg over your shoulder and around your neck, Sucrose fucks your throat as sweet nothing ramble on from their empty head. The whole reason they had gotten caught was due to a similar lapse of control. They wanted to surprise you with another bottle of their syrup and wanted it to be as fresh as possible, commiting their misdeeds right in the bliss of your bedroom. When you found them out, you weren't mad, nor as disgusted as they'd imagined. Why would you be? You're their wonderful little gumdrop who's taught them so much about the human realm. So sweet and addictive, just like the sugary concoction brewing in their loins. You were their everything. Perfection.

"Gumdrop, you're always so good to me... I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you, but I'll give you everything."

Sap-like fluid creating a slug trail down your throat, you tap Sucrose's leg to let them know to let go before it's too late. They pay no heed to your warning as their hips edge off the counter and your nose rides against their crotch; melting digits keeping you in place as they hold you under the force of their high.

"Take it... It's all yours. You're the only one who should be able to have this, but I let you share because I love you so much.. Yours.."

Sucrose rambles on as your palate is overtake by their taste. It's like a mixture of syrup and coffee creamer. That heavy, honey consistency with a creamy cherry filled softness. The type of flavor that was good in small quantities or paired with something instead of being pumped straight into your stomach like what was happening to you. Introducing your teeth to their flesh finally got them to loosen their grip. The pain only prolonged their orgasm, but Sucrose knew by now what that meant. They take the bottle from you and attach it to themselves as you head for the sink. The heat of your mouth melted their skin more to the point you were good on sugar for the rest of the week...or until they were unable to perform on their own again.

"All done!"

Sucrose proudly displays the syrup bottle on the counter beside you. A full eight ounce jar filled to the brim. They kiss you as you come up from rinsing out your mouth, reach back to squeeze your ass as their tongue catches the spit still clinging to the corner of your mouth.

"Make sure to watch your supplies more closely, Gumdrop. See you soon."

Sucrose wonders back to their side of the kitchen to figure out how to pour out the syrup again without you noticed as you head back out to the front - plucking taffy from your hair. After finishing the customer's order and handing them their change, they lean over the counter to whisper something.

"Um, hey, not to be rude, but you have something pink on your.. back pocket. It kinda looks like a handprint."

#happy april fools #They say despite starting this two days prior #Sucrose my oc #yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere blurb #yandere drabble #yandere smut #yandere teratophilia #yandere nightmare #i put too much effort into this

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Bring me a dream

Part 4: Peanut Butter Brownie

Status: Ongoing

Masterlist

Pairing: The Corinthian x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, smut, horror elements, manipulation, oral f! recieving, PinV, dirty talk, corruption kink (Corinthian) , shy inexpereinced reader

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long to come out, I've had a really busy few weeks and have also come down with a bug that's going round so I've been a bit delayed. Thank you all for sticking with me though and for seinding me lovely mesages about the series, your encouragment is keeping the series going ✨

Also just a PSA there was an interlude chapter called "Cupcake" just before this one that you can find in the masterlist up top, just in case you haven't read it yet!

-🍰-

“So, what do you think? Chocolate brownies or Vanilla cupcakes?”

“Do I have to choose?” Corinthian asks, taking a leisurely step toward forward.

He has a hand in his jacket pocket and his other arm looped around yours as you stroll through the farmers market like an old couple. There’s a slight breeze tickling at your faces and tinging his nose rosy, but the sun is still shining high in the sky and it’s an otherwise perfect day for buying fresh produce.

The wooden stalls are brimming with ripe vegetables and jams and chocolate and smiling faces that are all too eager to have prospective buyers. There’s bright banners everywhere and the smell of organic coffee and fresh fruit is washing over you like a cosy blanket. It was one of your favourite parts of the human world, but that day you were particularly excited to have company with you.

“I think we should have brownies,” you declared. “There’s this amazing homemade peanut butter stall just down that way and I think that it would go amazing with this recipe that I have!” 

“Well, I’m up for anything as long as you’ve made it, sugar,” He hums, staring down at you with a warm smile.

“Am I like some kind of drug dealer to you now that you get these visions?” you teased. 

He put his hand to his chest feigning shock, then proceeded to grin widely.

“Everything you make is just so good,” he moaned, slowing his pace. “Those lemon squares you made last week made me feel like I was walking in a meadow. I swear I could actually smell the flowers like they were right under my nose.”

Watching him brought a smile out onto your face as you saw him get so taken in by the memory. His brow was scrunched in concentration and you couldn’t help but think it was cute. You bit your lip at the thought and shook your head, it was almost laughable how much things had changed between you both. You were baking for the man you used to think you’d rather poison than willingly go out with. 

Over the last few months that you’d spent getting to know each other you’d changed your opinion on him drastically. You no longer saw him as a threat, not unless you thought too hard on little habits of his that he occasionally let slip, but those were few and far between. Most of the time it just meant that he’d compliment your eyes, but with enough glaring he was slowly learning not to focus his attentions on them. 

“I’m glad that you saw the meadow! Lemons always make me think of warm spring days walking in parks,” you mused. “But I guess you saw that didn’t you?”

“Mmm, and they taste so good when you bake with them too,” he grinned. “And that’s why there’s an ulterior motive to this trip today.”

You frowned, tilting your head toward him. An ulterior motive? You’d assumed any ulterior motives had passed by now. You hadn’t worried he was going to turn around and try something on you in a while. 

“And what’s this motive then?” you asked, feeling yourself tense at the thought of him hiding something.

“I want to cook for you tonight,” he said. “At my place.”

“You want to cook for me?” you repeated, your body untensing as you said it.

“Yes. If you’ll let me?”

You looked over his earnest face and pursed your lips, considering the offer for a moment. Despite having met up numerous times, you’d both avoided breaching the others home. Of course, you’d pretty much banned him from being around Casey from the start and you’d been apprehensive to go somewhere alone with you lest he try and do something to you. 

Though that was all in the past now, you thought to yourself. The Corinthian that you knew wouldn’t be capable of doing anything sinister to you. The Corinthian you knew was the man nervously tilting his head at you and looking down with a worried grimace. He wasn't the unstoppable blood thirsty killer you’d originally thought him to be. So, you wondered, what would the harm be in indulging him? Especially if it was at his place.

“That sounds nice!” you grinned, feeling your heart flutter. “What are we having?”

“Well, I don’t have many recipes in my repertoire, but I figure after all my years here I can make you the best beef ragu you’ll ever have.”

“Beef ragu? Really?” you asked dubiously.

That wasn't what you’d expected to say the least. Though you weren’t sure what you were expecting. What was the regular cuisine for a nightmare that had been on earth for over a century?

“Sure, everything from scratch. A proper dinner.”

You found yourself grinning widely as you pictured the prospect of a cooking Corinthian. It still shocked you to even think about him eating regular food, nevermind cooking it. The idea of him in an apron donning oven gloves was enough to make you snort. He certainly wasn’t the getting his hands dirty type, that much you’d gathered from all your time with him.

“Well I’m excited to try this ‘proper dinner’,” you said, resuming your walk along the stalls once more. “And see your place as well.”

“Why’re you excited to see my place?” he chuckled. “What are you expecting?”

“Honestly? If you’d asked before I’d have said it’d be covered in cobwebs and people chained to the walls,” you snorted, playfully giving him a nudge. 

“People chained to the walls?” he grinned, tilting his head. “How kinky do you think I am, sugar?”

The question immediately brought your skin to the boil and had you looking away in embarrassment. Your original thought hadn’t been anything so dirty. You’d figured he’d have people tied up for the slaughter, but now all you could think about was the Corinthian presiding over some kind of sex dungeon and that prospect was almost scarier to you. To someone so inexperienced. Oh gods.

“What are you thinking? Did you get yourself all flustered, sweet thing?” he teased.

“No! I’m not- I- I was just thinking we should get some-some ingredients now, what do you think?” You squeaked, losing all grasp of any language. 

“Mhmm, I’m sure that’s what you were thinking,” he said, nodding his head along.

“Yes! It was!”

“Because, you’re such a little innocent thing, aren’t you?” he hummed, running his hand along your jaw. “Your head wouldn’t be filled with anything naughty right now, would it?”

You bit down on your lip hard, surprised that you weren’t drawing blood. Not so shockingly, the Corinthian speaking to you in that deep timbre of his wasn’t helping the lewd images that were flooding through your head. You could practically imagine him in some kind of mansion house already, hand outstretched and inviting you into the king sized bed that you were sure he’d have, ravishing you like there was no tomorrow.

No! You had to snap out of your thoughts. It was wrong to think of him like that when he was standing right in front you. Rude, even, you’d thought to yourself. 

So you shook yourself out of it and swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to think of everything that you needed to get for your recipe instead. Though, you couldn’t help the shiver that was still racing through your body, and as much as you tried to tell yourself it was the breeze, you knew for a fact that the real cause was the man standing in front of you. The one watching you with that calculating gaze of his. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, forcing yourself to grit out anything other than ‘take me back to your place right now.

You felt like you weren’t ready for whatever it was that he’d give you. Despite being a better man than you’d given him credit for, you were still scared of giving him too much trust. He'd have to put all the leftover depravity somewhere, and the thought of him ravishing you was almost too much. Even his ever increasingly desperate kisses were a lot to handle sometimes.

Although, it wasn’t like you weren’t getting used to them…even desiring them more every time. 

“Uh huh. Well, we’ll certainly see what you’re really thinking later, won’t we?”

“And why’s that?” you challenged.

“You’re going to be baking later with that flustered little mind…” he said slowly, letting you figure out exactly what that meant. 

That was enough to make your body stiffen like peanut brittle. You had to clean your head of all these thoughts that you were having quickly, or he’d no doubt picture exactly what you were picturing. And then what would you do? What would he think? Would he think it was cute, or would he laugh at how inexperienced you were? 

“Ok! Well, I think since we’re both going to be cooking different things we should definitely split up and go get those ingredients separately,” you sputtered, taking a deliberate step back from him.

Even just being near him felt like you were a planet in his orbit, coming dangerously close to crashing, to giving in to all those scary desires that were plaguing your mind. Oh, why had you waited to come to earth for so long? Why did dream have to leave you to figure all this out on your own? Gods damn it, why were you so inexperienced!

“Ok then,” Corinthian snickered. “We can meet back here when we’re both done and I’ll drive us back to my kinky torture palace.”

As usual, you were sure he was winking under those glasses of his. You sighed a deep breath and watched as he walked away, coat swishing behind him, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. It left you to stew in your thoughts and stand there looking like an idiot, but at least you were given the opportunity to recover. To think clearly. 

Now that your head wasn’t filled with thoughts like thick honey, you decided that the best course of action was to focus on your brownies and all the other kinds of things that baking made you think of. 

Certainly not running your hands through The Corinthian’s soft blonde hair, no, you liked to think of lying on a big squishy couch surrounded by fluffy pillows. You wouldn’t usually consider feeling The Corinthian’s lips on your neck and finally knowing what it's like to have more than just his gentle breaths caressing you there. Nope. You would think of the fireplace gently burning away while you basked in the gentle warmth and would fall into a fitful rest with a head full of fuzz.

You definitely had a head full of fuzz at least.

You tutted to yourself and eventually, after lazily walking your way down the line of stalls you found the one you were looking for. Though, it wasn’t the usual endearingly homely man that was there to serve you, no this vendor was different. There was something familiar about him, but you couldn’t say why, you weren’t sure that he’d ever served you before.

“Hi there, Miss! Can I tempt you into buying anything today?” he called out.

You snapped out of your thoughts and smiled at him, before gazing along the rows of peanut butter jars that were neatly stacked along the counter. This was the best peanut butter you’d encountered on all your days on earth, it was the perfect consistency and always went well in everything that you made. You couldn’t deny that you were excited to sneak a few spoonfuls of it as you baked.

“Yes! Can I please have a jar of the smooth peanut butter?”

“Of course! Are you making something with it?” The man asked.

You smiled and nodded, distracted as you watched him look carefully around the jars. It was as if he wasn’t sure what to give you. He must be new then, you thought. He was a tall man, much bigger than you, with scraggly dark hair and sharp features, with a scar across his nose. His beady eyes were obscured from your view as a long strand of hair dripped down his face.  

Eventually he picked up one of the blue topped jars and put it into a brown paper bag, flicking his bright copper eyes up to you when you dug out some money from your purse. Those eyes weren’t natural, you thought to yourself. 

“Oh don’t worry about that, it’s on the house,” he grinned.

You tilted your head, taking in his sharp toothy smile and frowning. Free? Surely he couldn’t just decide to do things like that if he just got the job? As you’d learned on your short time on earth as well, it was rare that anything actually came free. Everything had its price.

“Oh, I couldn’t just take it! I’d feel so bad,” you said finally, trying to hand him your worn ten in your hand.

“I insist,” the man replied, placing the bag down on the counter. “I can’t accept money from someone like you!”

“Someone like me?” You frowned.

The man paused for a second, raking his eyes over you for a brief moment before waving his hand in the air noncommittally.

“A loyal customer,” he shrugged.

“Oh…Did George tell you about me?”

“Yes, of course! Said you usually stop by here.”

You bit your lip and reached out for the bag, letting your hand linger on the rough handle for a second before shrugging to yourself. It made sense to you that the new start would be told about a regular, you supposed. Plus, you figured if you took the bag quickly, you could get away faster. You could escape his eyes that had the same effect as old paintings that seemed to follow your every move. 

“Oh, well thank you so much! That’s so kind of you,” you breathed out. “Make sure to give George my thanks as well!”

“Of course, miss. 

As soon as you were away from his intense gaze you breathed out a sigh of relief and looked around you at the distracted people walking past. The sun was still bright as ever and everyone was carefree. Sure, that guy was a little odd, but then there were a lot of ‘characters’ that appeared around the market. And so, with that in mind, you decided to put it out of your head.

There were much more pressing matters to think about anyway. Like buying the rest of your brownie ingredients and what you were going to do when you got to Cornithians house…

 -🍰-

So Corinthian’s place was not at all like what you’d imagined. It wasn’t an old creepy mansion out on the outskirts of town, neither was it a luxury hotel penthouse or a warehouse that he’d been squatting in. No, the Corinthian lived in a lush modern apartment by the park that was decorated in a very minimalist styling.

You’d driven on the Corinthians open top “wind machine” - as you’d called his car - and been taken up to a brightly lit elevator that looked straight out of a fancy chick flick, with its all gold buttons and illuminated ceiling. 

Soon enough you were led through a white door and into a simple dark wooden floored hallway past a big mirror and into a spacious lounge. It was host to a large slate grey couch bathed in light from the huge windows facing toward the sun and decorated in a few textured cushions that looked soft to the touch. There was a fluffy white rug in the centre, laying over the dark wood panelling with a glossy black table on top. And just beyond that there was a modern kitchen, all marble and glossy wood, matching the rest of the show home standard that you’d seen already.

It was the kind of place you saw in magazines, stylish and chic. If not a little cold. You looked around with wide eyes, taking in the expensive furniture and looking for any sign of imperfection only to realise that there wasn’t any. The place was spotless, as if the Corinthian had barely been there for a few days. Almost like an unused set that he was trying to impress you with.

“I’m assuming this wasn’t what you pictured then?” He murmured, looking over at your confused expression.

“I just- I guess I expected you to have…I dunno, more stuff?”

“More stuff?” he repeated, tilting his head.

“Yeah. Well, you’ve been on earth a long time right? Don’t you have any keepsakes or- or art or something?”

A smile bloomed across his features and he soon nodded his head and put his coat up on a dark metal rack that stood solidly by the door. Everything in its place, you thought. He returned to your side and took the bags in your hands, sticking them on the dark kitchen counters before returning to you and taking you past a dark wooden dining table and over to a black leather chest that sat in the corner next to an expensive looking record player.

“I don’t like to weigh myself down with worldly possessions, I’m not usually one to stay in one place for very long afterall,” he reminded you, making you gulp as you remembered exactly why the reason for that was. “Though, I do keep a trunk of clothes and well…these. Whatever fits into the car.”

He puts his hands on the chunky metal clasps at the top of the box and after loudly clicking them up, he reveals a rather substantial record collection. There’s a ton of records stacked tightly into the box, all in varying conditions. Some of them looked rather old and like they’d been pulled out and put back several times, but others looked pristine and new. 

“Can I look?” you asked, eager to see what kind of music he listened to.

“Of course, sugar. Just try to be careful, some of them are pretty old. They’re mostly first pressings,” he said nonchalantly. 

You felt your brows shoot up and all of a sudden you were oh so aware of how coveted some of those records would be. After a few seconds you tentatively reached in and started to slowly draw out the sleeves, smiling as you mapped out the Corinthians music tastes. He had a whole century worth of classics, ranging from Chuck Berry, Marvin Gaye and Elvis and all the way up to The Clash, Pink Floyd, and Metallica. It was when you pulled out a heavily scribbled on version of Rumours that you finally let out a squeak of surprise. 

“Did you meet Fleetwood Mac!” You called out, looking over to the kitchen. 

He was standing with his jumper sleeves pulled up, sprinkling flour on his counters, presumably making pasta. Your question brought a smug grin to his lips and he looked up from the mess he was making.

“Oh I did a lot more than just meet them.”

“Wait…do you mean you-”

“Spent a very interesting evening with them,” he shrugged.

You returned the record to the box and hurried your way over to the kitchen, the need to interrogate him overpowering you. You’d spent countless hours pouring over The Corinthian’s experiences on earth, but this was certainly a lot juicier than other things he’d told you. This was Fleetwood Mac for crying out loud. 

“And when you say interesting…?” you prompted, giving him a look. 

“What? You expect me to kiss and tell, sugar?” he smiled, reaching out and bopping your nose, covering you in flour.

“Hey!”

You hastily rubbed the flour off of your nose and glared at him, watching as he was about to go back to his task. You bit your lip and tried to quickly go for the bag that was sitting just to his left side, but unfortunately you weren’t quick enough to grab it. Corinthian got you first. 

“Predictable little dream.”

You gasped as he pinned you face first into the counter, looking down at the floury mess he’d made while you were pressed between the hard marble and his warm body. His bare arms were either side of you and his breath was fanning ever presently against your neck. In just a moment he had managed to trap you in his hold, all encompassing and unrelenting.

“Corinthian!” you squeaked, feeling yourself getting hot and flustered again.

“Yes, sweet thing?” He replied, cooly as ever.

“What are you doing?”

“Well you were going to do something naughty with that flour, so I figured I’d stop you,” he said breathily, kissing the spot just behind your ear. 

“Corinthian,” you moaned, not quite sure what you were moaning for. 

Did you want him to let you go? Or did you want him to keep going? 

His feathery breaths felt good against your neck, it brought your arms out into pleasurable little tingles and raised goosebumps. You were losing your breath. Oh god. You knew what you wanted. You were finally sure of what you wanted. 

“What do you want, sugar?” 

“You,” you whimpered.

“Mm? That so?” He murmured lowly.

The flesh of your neck was buzzing like crazy. Every little movement he made against your skin felt like it was feeding the flames of the fire inside of you. His lips were roaming your neck greedily and with every brush of his skin in yours the will to push him away faded and was replaced with an urge far more powerful. 

“I’m glad you’re willing to admit it now. Things’ll go a lot smoother that way.”

You frowned when you felt him pull away and whipped around faster than you’d ever moved in your life. You’d practically moved faster than light, and only to turn and face the most smug look Corinthian had ever given you. That bastard! 

There weren’t enough curse words in your entire vocabulary that would cover what you were thinking then.

“What was that?” you fumed.

“That, my sweet dream, was me getting you to finally admit that you want to fuck me.”

He was smiling away to himself, leaning his side on the counter and folding his arms. If you were in a better mood you’d be willing to admit he could be in some fancy cooking advert with the way he looked standing in his kitchen - but you weren’t. In fact, you were ready to turn tail and run out the door so you could howl out your frustration. 

“I suppose I must’ve had a moment of madness,” you mumbled bitterly. 

“Oh come on now. You can’t really be that angry with me,” he chuckled.

“Apparently I can be.”

“Aw, sugar. I didn’t realise you’d be so averse to some harmless teasing. Such a delicate thing, aren’t you?”

He was still laughing even as he tried to muster as much sympathy as he could in his voice. Though, apparently that wasn’t very much. You grumbled and just as you were about to turn away from him, he caught you in his arms and spun you around again. 

In the dim light you could vaguely see your reflection in his shades, could see an impression of your widened eyes when his arm curled around you. Despite not looking particularly buff, he was strong, strong enough to keep you in place with one arm while the other stroked up your face. 

You swore if this was another trick you really would leave.

“What are you doing now?” you pouted.

“I want you to know that I want you as well,” he explained quietly. “But we need to go slow tonight. You’re such an innocent thing, sex should be special for you.”

You searched his expression for any sign of incenserity, but whatever you were looking for you couldnt find it. He was being real with you. His hand didn’t waver as he continued to cup your cheek, and his jaw was clenching ever so slightly as he seemed to be restraining himself from trying to make any further moves.

“Well, if that’s the case then I’d rather you didn’t tease me like that,” you frowned.

“Ok, I promise. No more teasing,” he relented, kissing your cheek. “I’m just not used to having you somewhere so private. I’ve got you here all to myself and I can finally-.”

“Careful! You’ll end up here all alone if I get any more funny business from you tonight,” you warned, interrupting him before he could lure you in with more promises of things he would withhold for the time being.

“Of course. I’ll be on my best behaviour,” He chuckled, releasing you from his hold, though not before giving you another kiss on the cheek.

“I’m not sure I can trust your version of best behaviour,” you huffed. 

“Well, I’m only newly reformed, I can’t help it,” he grinned, giving a signature head tilt. “Why don’t you go put something on the record player, and I’ll try to actually focus on dinner, hm?”

You rolled your eyes, but eventually found yourself retreating back to the corner. However much you wanted The Corinthian to be wrong, you knew that going through the motions of being wined and dined would ease you into the night more. Despite your body being one hundred percent sure that it wanted to be somewhere underneath him, there were still some anxieties in your mind that would be soothed with a touch of alcohol and music. 

After picking out a Bowie record, figuring you should go for something a little less sensual, you found yourself shimmying back to the kitchen as the sound of piano and drums filled the room. Now that you had something to distract your chaotic mind, you felt much more at ease. Like you could relax and actually focus on something other the thought of jumping Corinthian’s bones. Not that you were a seasoned enough bones jumper to even know how to make a move like that.

“So, do you cook often?” you asked, easing onto a subject you knew more about.

“Mm, not very much,” he hummed, tending to his tagliatelle diligently. “Until you came along I’d forget to eat most of the time.”

“But it’s the best part of being here!”

“I don’t know about that, sugar. I think that’s pretty subjective,” he grinned.

Of course the only response to that was an eyeroll. You weren’t going to dignify that with asking him what he thought was the best part of being on earth. You were sure that you already knew the answer and it would lead him right back to teasing you.

Instead, you watched him take a rather sharp knife and cut the tagliatelle with precision. His skillful hands cut the strands thick and evenly, like a seasoned chef. Though, you supposed he had good reason to be clever with a knife. Not that that was a thought you wanted to dwell on.

“I just think that it's nice getting to try lots of different foods and find out how everything goes together. It’s like solving a fun puzzle,” you finally said, ignoring his childish smirk.

“I suppose when you put it like that there is a certain charm to it,” he smiled. “You do that a lot actually.”

“Do what?” You asked, wondering what he was talking about. 

“You make all the ordinary things about life seem special.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and waited for Corinthian to pick up you getting flustered again, but if he noticed he made no comment. He just continued on with his work, as if he hadn’t said anything at all. Music filled the open plan room and soon enough, you both fell into a comfortable silence, except for when you both hummed along to certain parts of the music, it was the first time you’d ever experienced just being there with him.

It was actually…kind of nice?

 -🍰-

Despite your earlier frustrations with the evening, the resulting dinner had been rather pleasant. It had taken a while to cook, but that was alright, you’d both been able to easily occupy yourselves. And, as it turned out, the wait had been worth it because as Corinthian had promised he had actually made the best pasta you’d ever tasted in all your time on earth. The rich meat sauce paired well with the expensive looking wine that Corinthian insisted you both have. 

After two glasses you both had a nice buzz and halfway through the second you’d even managed to weasel his Fleetwood Mac story out of him. Despite being dubious about his coke fueled threesome, you’d both laughed too hard about it to question it further. That was what most of the dinner had been like, you’d talked the rest of the daylight away. All that was left was the silvery moonlight and the pillar candle Corinthian had lit battling it out to bathe the space in what little light they could give. 

“Why don’t we move over to the couch, hm? Get a little comfier,” Corinthian finally said, sitting up in his chair.

“Should I take the wine with me?” you asked, stretching as you rose from your chair.

You had a comfortable ache in your shoulders, the kind that lingered after being at the dinner table for too long, the kind that went away when you’d finally sink into a couch and relax for the night. You were excited to feel the plush cushions beneath you, taking those little knots away and lulling you into an even softer state as Depeche Mode crackled on in the background. 

“Are you trying to get us drunk, little dream?” Corinthian smiled, standing up to meet your gaze. 

“Drunk? I didn’t realise The Corinthian was a lightweight,” you smirked.

He bit his lip and looked at you for a measured second, but eventually he waved a hand toward the bottle, gesturing for you to take it over. While you worked on refilling your glasses, you didn’t bother paying attention to what Corinthian was doing. Not until you realised that he was setting a plate of your brownies onto the coffee table, the little clink of the plate being set down may as well have been a death toll. 

“Aren’t you full?” you protested weakly.

You’d been so full of different thoughts and emotions when you were baking them that even you had no idea what he’d see when he was trying them. You couldn’t bring yourself to taste the final product after they’d finished baking, because you’d been enjoying his company so much and wanted to shove the anxiety aside. However, now that you were confronted with them again, you were feeling the worries bubble back in your throat. 

“I figured now was a perfect time for dessert,” he said, raising a brow. “Do you not want me to have one? If it makes you uncomfortable knowing I’ll see a private thought of yours, we can put them away.”

He wasn’t being his usual smug self. He was being genuine. You knew by the deep quality of his voice that he wasn’t joking with you and if you’d say not to, he wouldn’t take one. Though, despite all the worries that clouded your mind, there was an even greater desire to share with him exactly what you were feeling. Even if you weren’t completely sure yourself. You wanted to show him that you trusted him now, you didn’t want to hold back anymore. 

Afterall, that’s what you’d proven to yourself earlier when he’d had you on that kitchen counter. 

“Actually…I do want you to try them. Just- Uh - just tell me what you see ok?” You said finally, sitting back on the couch cushions and cuddling your legs.

“Are you sure?” he asked again.

His face was serious, almost as if he were as nervous as you. 

“Positive,” you said, giving a small smile.

He gave you a few seconds to rescind your offer, but after you rolled your eyes and told him to take a bite already, he quickly did as he was told. It felt like your breath had been snatched from you when he’d put the treat to his lips. This was it, you’d thought to yourself, he was either going to be presented with something sweet, something nerve riddled or something incredibly steamy. You prayed at least he wouldn’t be presented with something painfully awkward and that you could get on with your evening above all else. 

Corinthian’s face stayed neutral at first but then, as usual, his eyebrows started to scrunch and his head was tilting. Normally he’d be filling you with details about what he was witnessing, but instead all you could hear was the soft beats of the music ijn the background as he continued to focus on whatever he was seeing. He remained deeply breathing for a few hushed moments until finally he was falling back into the couch, his head looking fully up at the ceiling and taking in big gulps of air. 

It was killing you not getting to know what it was he’d seen. Whatever it was, it had practically incapacitated him.

“Corinthian?” You called out, feeling your stomach fill with dread.

What had he seen? Was it good or was it bad?

“You really think of me like that?” he said quietly, putting a hand over his chest. 

Like what? You thought of him in so many different ways, you weren’t sure how he’d meant it. You bit the inside of your cheek and contemplated what he’d seen and felt until finally you couldn’t take the not knowing.

“Describe it for me,” you asked, crossing the distance between you both and clasping the warm hand he held over his chest.

“It was- I…” 

This was a first, you had never seen him lost for words before. 

“We were together in that club,” he breathed, finally able to find his words. “But not like any way we actually interacted there, it wasn’t a memory…You had your arms around my neck and I was holding you, and the lights were golden, but they felt like this smooth warmth. I felt- my heart felt like it was full. Like there was this static running through me and it felt like the only place I needed to be was there with you…”

“Like the only place you needed to be was there?” you whispered. “Like the light that’s on is only there because we’re there together?”

“Mhmm,” he hummed, falling quiet. 

You both spent the next few seconds in shared silence, you were still holding his hand and he remained paralysed on the cushions. The air felt thick with the unspoken connection you’d both made and for a second it felt like you were both falling into your own dreamland, a place you were making all for yourselves.

“I need you to tell me that that’s real…that you want me,” he pleaded, sitting up from his slanted position. 

“Of course it's real,” you snorted, feeling your nervous laughter slip from your mouth. “Feelings can’t be lies, its my feelings that put the visions into place, its not the other way around.”

“Well that being the case…Let me show you how I feel about you,” he growled, his voice reaching an even bassier low than you were used to. 

When he reached out for you, his need was radiating off of him in thick waves. His grasp on you was feathery, but he was claiming your skin, feeling as much of you as he could and his lips were on yours in seconds, drawing you closer into his warmth. He was being so gentle, but you could tell there was a fire burning underneath the surface, just as there was one igniting in you once more.

“Corinthian, I swear if this is a trick again-” you spoke, trying to dispel the last of your worries.

“No tricks, sugar. I just want to have you,” He sighed. “Truly.”

You took a few steady breaths and for a second, you reconsidered backing out and running for the hills, but it didn’t take long for that instinct to get snuffed out. You wanted him, you wanted more. You had to stop running from your desires and follow a new path. You had both said that you wanted a human and experience and well…this was it.

“I want you too, but I’m- I’m scared,” you relented.

“Scared of what?” he asked, planting a few careful kisses along your jaw. 

“What if I do something wrong, or I’m not good, like you might hate-”

“Shh, shh, you don’t need to worry, sweet dream. I’ve got you,” he whispered lowly, stroking the back of your neck. “I’m gonna show you what to do ok? All you have to do is listen to me, ok? I’ve got you.”

With that said, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead and took your hand. He was leading you up from the couch. You gasped, feeling a moment of dizziness when you rose upward, but soon enough you were eagerly following him across the room and through a door that had stayed shut for the duration of your visit. 

He pushed it open and took a look back to you, but you were too distracted by what was inside to attempt meeting his gaze. He did indeed have a king sized bed, just as you’d guessed. The room was decorated similar enough to the living room with the exception of a few black and white photography prints that he had adorned the walls with. A clear continuation of the monochrome colour palette that he loved. 

“See, sugar? No chains, nothing nefarious,” he grinned. “Just a nice soft bed.”

“I can see that,” you squeaked.

“Mhmm. Why don’t you come sit with me? We can start this slow, ok?”

You didn’t feel capable of speaking without sounding like a little mouse anymore, so instead you resorted to nodding enthusiastically and letting his experienced hand guide you. The soft grey sheets rippled around you and invited you to relax into the bouncy mattress. So far, you were still comfortable. You were still clothed, still not doing anything you hadn’t done before. Though it wasn’t like your thrumming heartbeat and shaking hands seemed to recognise that. 

“We can just kiss for a little while. We have all night together, alright?” He mumbled, stroking a hand through your hair and looking deep into your wide eyes. “Remember that you can say stop at any time and we can stop. Even if you just want a break, you can tell me. Will you do that for me?”

You nodded again, but that wasn’t enough. He shook his head and grasped your chin, not allowing you to look away from him. 

“Don’t nod. Use your words. I need to know that I won’t hurt you.”

His tone was so serious, you’d never heard him sound so resolute. The curve of his jaw was taught as he clenched it, he was dedicated to making sure that you understood what he expected of you. It only served to make you relax further into the bed as your comfort with him grew. 

You didn’t need to fight this. Him. You could trust him now completely. 

“You have no idea how badly I want this, Corinthian. I promise if it gets too much I’ll tell you to stop, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen,” you smiled.

You reached out and tangled your hand in his hair, delicately scratching through his golden locks. He then let you take the control for a second, allowed you to kiss along his jaw before you swiped your tongue over his lips - a move you’d learned from him. Though, you weren’t able to take the lead for long.

“You’re learning, sweet thing,” he chuckled. “Make sure you keep payin’ attention.”

You squealed when he grasped your waist and deepened the kiss. His greedy hands were roaming your body and eliciting little chills that ran up your spine. You groaned into his mouth and let your mind run free with excitement, willing him to go further, wanting him to take your clothes off and give you everything he had.

After a few more minutes of sending your mind to the skies with fuzziness, he went further. He ran his hands over your chest and groped at you with a desperate need. Your stomach felt like it was a tightened coil. Like there was something inside of you that was going to snap if he kept up with his attentive touches.

“You sound so pretty already, sugar. Keep moaning like that for me, ok?” Corinthian hummed.

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, you hadn’t even realised you’d been so vocal, though you couldn’t dwell over it for long. Was that your top coming off? Your bra coming undone?  You gasped when you felt your clothing drift off to your side and soon enough you could feel the chill of the air hit your back. This was the most exposed that you’d ever been to someone before. 

It was thrilling. 

He made you feel so precious. He took a break from your mouth and instead kissed down your body, over the curve of your breasts and down to your stomach. It was like a feather was brushing over your body. Though, as you watched him work his way down through steady blinks you couldn’t help but want to even the odds, feeling self conscious that you were the only one missing clothes.  

“Can you- take your sweater off,” you asked, biting your lip as he lightly kissed the spot just above the button on your jeans.

“Mhmm. You can have anything you want, sugar, you just need to ask for it,” he sighed. 

You giggled, enjoying the breathy way he sounded when he’d obliged your request. Though, it died in your throat the moment he took his shirt off and bared himself to you. He was bathed in dim yellow light and the soft ridges of his muscles looked so perfectly kissable to you as he exposed himself. It was so strange seeing him without anything covering his chest. You were so used to him in all his layers, it felt like a sin looking at him exposed. Seeing that perfect chiselled body that he’d been hiding all that time.

“Careful you don’t bite that lip too hard,” he said, brushing his thumb over your sensitive mouth. “The fun’s just starting, darlin.”

A loud moan sounded out through the room, and it was late before you realised it was your own. Corinthian had resumed his attack on your body and now it seemed to be twice as affected since he’d matched you in taking his clothes off. His soft skin was running against yours, leaving your body shivering with excitement, willing for more. That and the whispered words he murmured in between pecks.

You like that? 

Yeah? 

Am I making you feel good

It was only a few minutes later that he took off your jeans and underwear and by then you were a mess of electrified nerves. That feeling deep in your core had grown even stronger, was winding tighter inside you and everything in you was directing him to finally touch you down there. Though, now that you were exposed to him there was just one thing that you needed to know before he continued.

You carefully wound your hand into his hair and tugged on it gently, forcing him back up to meet your eyes. His breaths were coming in shallow, he was clearly just as worked up as you were, and when he finally met you face to face he smiled slowly. 

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah…more than alright,” you grinned nervously. “Just- I um. I wanted to know if I’m…what you expected? Do I look fine to you?”

“Fine?” he repeated, chuckling. “Darlin’, you’re the sweetest thing I ever laid eyes on. You’re beautiful. You’re driving me mad just laying there and looking all pretty like that.”

“Really?” you gasped.

“Mhmm, really,” he moaned, placing another kiss on your thigh. “Can’t wait to eat out this pretty pussy of yours.”

“Corinthian!” you squealed, still not used to the course language. 

“Mmm, still such an innocent little dream,” he chuckled, his laugh turning into a low purr. “I can’t wait to change that.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you saying things like that to me,” you laughed, feeling especially warm as you practically felt his eyes grazing up and down your body.

“Mmm, well it won’t stop me trying to corrupt you nonetheless,” he smirked. “Now lie back and let me take care of you. Let me hear those moans.”

You were still reeling from it all being unfamiliar territory, but one thing was for sure, you needed to keep exploring it. No matter how nervous you felt about it, you needed to chase this release that you were searching for. You had to indulge the wet hot fire that was making your body throb with need.

“Oh god!”

The Corinthian licked a stripe up your pussy and suddenly you were racked by sensations more powerful than anything else you’d felt as he continued to work his tongue over you. The feelings intensified while he continued on like that, he’d lick carefully through your folds and swirl around your clit, it had you moaning like you were in heat. He alternated between licking and sucking at your weeping pussy and then kissing your thigh, letting his fingers take over on tracing your throbbing bud. 

“That’s it, does that feel good? Embrace that feeling, little dream. You’re doing so good for me, that’s it, just lie back like that.”

He was like a master musician and you were his most prized instrument. The way he plucked and ran his hands over you made you feel like you could lie in that bed forevermore, getting worshipped for as long as he’d allow.

“Does that feel good, hm? Tell me. C’mon tell me. Are you gonna cum?”

“Yes!” you’d screamed.

“And who’s making you feel so good, hm? Who’s gonna make you cum?”

“You!”

Your stomach tensed and you moaned more and more as he continued muttering sweet nothings into your thighs. The hot wet sounds of his tongue on your pussy increased and with every motion, you felt your body clench harder. It was when he’d begun circling your opening with his finger that you finally lost it. 

“Come on then, sweet dream. Cum for me. Let go for me, sugar.”

He inserted one digit, slowly sliding his finger into you and then ever so slowly he curled it and pumped back and forth. Your whole body felt like it was rigged with an electric current and after a few more minutes of his careful ministrations, you arched your back and let out a scream when your body finally came undone. 

The static took over your head and your vision went shaky. For a moment you swore you were floating on a cloud, a pulsing pleasant cloud. You breathed deeply and let yourself drift, taken in by the pleasure until finally you slowly drifted back to yourself. 

Soon enough you were greeted with Corinthian’s smug smile while he leaned back and watched you come down from your lofty high. 

“That sounded like it felt good,” he hummed.

“Good is certainly one word for it,” you gasped, blinking a few times in disbelief.

“Mmm, I’ll take that as a compliment,” he preened, giving your thigh a sloppy kiss after. “You taste so sweet, sugar. I think I’m going to have a new craving after tonight.”

“Really?” you asked bashfully.

“Yeah, you taste so good, and you sound so pretty when you cum,” he smirked.

“Oh gods,” you sighed, feeling those familiar embarrassed feelings heat your body again. 

“So flustered even after all that,” he chuckled, the bassy tones rattling through your sensitive body. “Such a sweet little thing. I can’t believe I’m the first that got to do that to you. And I get the whole night just to ravish you like that over and over.”

You looked at his devilish grin and gulped, knowing that he would be content to nestle into your thighs all night if you let him. However, now that you’d gotten to experience him…eating you out you were curious about more of life's pleasures. You wanted to go further. You wanted more than curling fingers inside you, you wanted him fully. 

“I- I actually want…something else,” you mumbled. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked, tilting his head and raising himself up so that he was sitting up. “What is it you want then?”

The intensity of his stare was boring into you. It felt like those next few moments were everything. You needed all of him. 

“I want you to fuck me,” you whimpered.

“Oh, sugar,” he purred, leaning into you. “Hearing you say something so dirty to me is such a gift.”

“You really like hearing me say things like that?” you asked nervously.

You’d assumed you sounded silly. Like you were some kind of blushing village girl from the olden times.Though, judging by the intensity of the way that Corinthian was looking at you, you realised that even despite that he was clearly taken by it. 

“Hearing you say that you want to fuck is like music to my ears, sugar.”

“Oh gods…”

You melted when he locked you in a salty kiss and in moments you were reverting back to the jelly legged mess you were not seconds before. All the reservations you’d had about this had completely faded away, and now all that was left was desire for the man that held you like you were a porcelain statue in his hot, firm grip. 

“Here, give me your hand, sweet thing.”

You frowned, confused by his request, but relented anyway. You held out your hand to him and he gently held the back of it with one of his and guided it to his bulging crotch. You squealed out a moan when you felt him hard and pulsing beneath you. 

“See? This is what you do me, sweet dream,” He whispered.

“Oh…” you moaned, suddenly overtaken by a confident streak. “I want to feel it inside of me.”

He groaned deeply as you said it and you found yourself giggling and rubbing your palm against him. Despite going into the evening feeling like the most hopeless dream in the world, you could feel your assuredness growing. It felt like The Corinthian was slowly taking you apart with every touch and he was rebuilding you in his vision.

“You have no idea what that does to me,” he said lowly.

“I think I have some,” you replied, stroking him harder for effect.

“Ugh…you’re gonna be the death of me, sweet dream. Tell me one more time…what do you want me to do to you?”

You bit your lip and felt your thighs shakily press together as he stared at you with a burning heat. The way he was speaking to you made you feel so warm inside.

“I want you to make love to me, Corinthian,” you sighed. “I want you to fuck me till I see stars again.”

“Oh you’ll see stars, precious. You’ll see constellations.”

He licked his lips and tore at his trousers and underwear, springing completely free of the fabric confines. He positioned himself over you and revealed the rest of his smooth skin. It  you gasped as you looked from his muscley calves and over the curve of his perfect ass. You had to bite your tongue just to keep yourself from squealing when you looked down at his cock. It was just as big as it felt of course, and like nothing you could’ve pictured, this was the first time you’d ever seen one. Though it was as perfect as you could imagine it to be. 

He gave you a slow and passionate kiss, giving you a minute more of imagining what he was going to do to you before he proceeded to spit on his hand and spread it over his cock. No matter how confident you were getting you still couldn’t help but gulp as you watched him and found yourself staring off anywhere but where his hand was. Then  you found yourself staring at his face with a rapidly pounding heart. 

“What about- um- what about the glasses?” you said after a second, realising that he was yet to take those off.

He paused in his actions and tilted his head, giving you a measured stare. Clearly you’d hit a sore spot judging by the way he was holding back a grimace. A breath hitched its way in your throat and he gave you a few more worried seconds before he finally answered your question. 

“Leave them for now, sweet dream,” he mumbled, trailing a few kisses along your neck.

“But Corinthian, I wouldn’t y’know- freak out or anything. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable while-”

“Don’t worry about my comfort, sugar,” he breathed, interrupting your panicked thread. “I’ll be plenty comfortable sinking into your sweet little pussy.”

You squeaked, feeling like said pussy was going to explode at those words alone.

“But- but-”

“Don’t worry. I will take them off for you at some point, but not right now. Alright?” he said, giving you a reassuring smile. “I’m not ready for that right now.”

Part of you wanted to fight him on the matter more. Afterall, you had completely bared yourself to him, you only wanted him to do the same. Though, there was no mistaking the downturn of his lips and the quiet pleading that filled The Corinthian’s voice. He really didn’t want you to push. And finally you realised you’d rather not upset him. You didn’t want to push him when he’d been so considerate toward you throughout the night. You had to give him the same courtesy. 

“Ok,” You finally agreed, bringing your hand up to his face and tracing around the frames with your fingers. “Ok…”

He smiled and gave you one last kiss. Filling you passion before he let his hand fall down to your thigh and he rutted against you. His hard cock pressed against your wet folds and rubbed against them. Your neediness was renewing and soon enough you were moaning into his lips again, begging wordlessly for another release. 

He continued to buck his hips up into you and press his fingers into the thick flesh of your thigh until finally he grasped his cock in his hand and pressed it against your opening. Your blood was rushing through your head and it felt like your heartbeat was in your ears, but most of all you could feel your body clenching. You were ready to bear down on him and have him deep within your body.

“Ready for this, sugar? It might hurt a little at first, but I promise to go slow, alright?”

“I’m more than ready,” you grinned, biting your lip in anticipation. “So ready for you.”

His tongue flashed over his teeth and with that he pushed into you slowly just as he said he would. Your heart was jumping out of your ribcage, you were so full of adrenaline. The burn of his cock in your pussy was almost too much for you, but with his gentle thrusts and attentive hands brushing against your clit he had you moaning in pleasure despite the background thrum of pain.

And then steadily and surely he was buried into you by the hilt, resting a little of his weight against you as he leaned into your body and planted a million kisses into your neck, avoiding the spots where his hand was curled around the back of you and supporting your head. It all felt like so much. Your tingling neck, the throbbing heat of your pussy. You were burning up in the dim light like a firework about to burst. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, moaning your name like it was a prayer.

“Corinthian,” you gasped, feeling all your breaths start to blur into one big pant. “Need you to move. Need you to fuck me hard.”

That tore a growl from him. A noise so animalistic it made you clench around him like a vice.

“I’ll give you all you can take, sweet thing…just wrap your arms around me and let me give it all to you.”

You did as he asked and soon he was beginning to move. He thrust gently at first, slowly pistoning back and forth and letting you get used to him, until finally you were groaning with need. The burning had eased until finally it fell away and left nothing but bright sparks of pleasure in its wake. Mind numbing, scorching pleasure that had you moaning louder and louder as he increased his pace and snapped his hips ever harder into yours.

Your power was Corinthian’s heaven, making him feel your raw emotions and taste your sweet visions with just a single bite of a confection. Now you were realising that the he way he fucked you was yours. Your whole body was wracked with spasms and you were digging your nails into him like you were clinging on for your life. There was nothing else in the world in that moment, just you two,  just your merging bodies and the hot heavy breaths that you both shared as you kissed and sucked at each others flesh like it was the only time you had left. 

And gods did you make great use of that time, of that night…

Next Part Here

-💕-

Tag List

@ravenous-says-stuf @jvybirrd @padawansubscription @pinkybee926 @heurimariquinha @the-corinthian-og-begay-docrimes @autistic-dream @heartache97 @juniebugg @mischiefmanaged71 @loonylunalovegood77 @suzubeans @proximateez @aureliel @belle643 @seraferna @anotherromanticpoet @pinkcyclewitch @nebulastarr @terzoskaz0o @baarishkiboond @philiasoul @tea-effect @ryethebrokengae

#the sandman #the corinthian #corinthian #corinthian x reader #boyd holbrook #sandman fanfiction

[the-witty-pen-name]

The Nanny Part 12

18+ ONLY 

Lee Bodecker x F!Nanny!Reader

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.9K

Warnings: references to smut, violence, corruption, cursing, age gap (reader is in her 20s), employee/employer dynamics, sickeningly sweet domesticity, and some angst

Author’s Note: I don't even have an explanation for how long it has taken me to get this next part out. I've had a lot of health issues I have been dealing with, but I am really starting to feel like I'm in a better place. I also was experiencing the worst writer's block I've ever experienced.

Now that this chapter is complete, I'm hoping to also post the next parts to my other uncompleted WIPs soon.

As per usual, this is unedited and if I forgot a warning, please let me know! And please reblog if you liked it!

3 Months Later

Stretching out on the soft linen sheets, you yawn quietly as you reluctantly open your eyes to check the time. 4:45 AM on the dot when Valerie begins to fuss in the other room and it wakes you up instinctively. You grumble, tossing off the deliciously warm covers, and grab your robe from the arm of Lee’s chair as you make your way from his- well your room to hers. 

“You did keep your promise,” you muse, picking her up and patting her back. “You promised last week you wouldn’t wake me up at 4:00. I see you’re already looking for loopholes in our contract, missy.” 

She immediately snuggles into you and you can’t help but love it. Feeling the warmth of her little body pressed into you as you feel her whole body relax is something you savor every time. She’s a little small for her age, but her pediatrician keeps assuring you both you have nothing to worry about. Affectionately, Lee sometimes calls her a runt even though it makes you crazy. However, it is growing on you but you’ll never admit it. 

“Shhh,” you mumble, pressing soft kisses to the top of her head, and walking her over to her changing table. Once you have her cleaned up, you take a little stroll with her to the kitchen to start with her breakfast. You shift your hold so she’s rested against your side so you have your dominant hand free to start putting her formula together. Her doctor also recommended beginning to introduce her to soft, solid foods so you also prep a little bit of a banana and soft berries to see what she’ll pick at- nothing too much cause you also want to watch for any allergies. 

You also start a pot of coffee for yourself and Lee once you have her settled in her high chair happily babbling away, some real words she has picked up mixed in between. Her favorite word she has really clung to is still her first word: Dada. Lee still is unsure of it, but you see the way he looks at her when she says it. Sure enough, it beckons him from the room almost instantly. Immediately, the doting begins even as early at 5:20 AM. Deny it he very well may, but Lee Bodecker is a girl dad whether he likes it or not. Though, all signs point to that he very much does. 

“My two favorite gals,” he grins walking into the kitchen. First, he looks to Val, pretending her stare makes him stop dead in his tracks and fall to his knees to begin kissing all over her face as she sits in her chair, making her erupt into her fit of giggles. 

“Morning bug,” he says to her finally, getting up off his knees. He winces at the minor damage his daily stunt causes. He plays it off well, you must admit. 

“M’lady,” he says, bowing to you at the waist. You scoff as he reaches out to kiss your hand. You knew no one else would ever believe he would behave this way. He was right when he said inside the house was your oasis. It was the truest definition of domestic bliss you could imagine, a secret happiness you allowed yourselves to share behind closed doors. This house has become a safe haven, where you were both free of outside opinion and the harsh realities of your situation. You don’t know the full extent to the situation Lee is in, but he is getting out for Val’s sake, and know for your sake as well. You don’t want to know, too happy with how things have gone to pop the bubble you both have made. 

The nature of your relationship is still unclear. Lee treats you- well like his wife, yet has never even been able to take you on a date. He also still signs your paychecks, which feels wildly inappropriate given the new developments, but neither of you want to have the discussion. He discreetly leaves the check for you to find when he is gone, and neither of you discuss it. You know it needs to happen, but you both fear ruining how things have been. 

You’ve fully moved in, very much complicating the situation. That was a very ugly fight with Julie, and you agreed she had every right to be upset. You have been helping her find a new roommate. She’s still upset, and vehemently is against your choice, and you can’t blame her or be mad in the least. You know what you did was a really shitty thing to do. You already weren’t coming home for several consecutive nights without keeping her in the loop, and then you spring on her that you’re moving out. 

She’s the only person you trusted enough to tell about the current situation-ship. She is very much against it, voicing her opinions very loudly as you packed your things a few weeks ago. You agreed, and didn’t fight back. You deserved it. You saw how your infatuation had caused riffs in your friendships. Things are still being worked out, and all you can do is everything to show her you can be a good friend, and hope for her full forgiveness. 

Lee kisses your temple, and ushers you to sit at the table while he begins breakfast. He sings softly to himself, trying his best to sound like Sinatra, as he navigates the kitchen on his quest to make you “the best eggs the world has ever seen.” 

“I need your love so badly, I love you, oh, so madly. But I don’t stand a ghost of a chance with you,” he mumbles offkey, mindlessly, and you look to the window above the sink to watch the orange and pink light of the sun take over the room. 

“If you surrender just a tender kiss or two, you might discover that I’m a lover meant for you.” The crackle of eggs as they hit the hot pan on the stove disrupts the mellow calm of the morning for a moment, but eventually it fades into the ambiance of the room. 

“And I’d be true, but what’s the good of scheming. I know I must be dreaming,” he sings, his voice cracking how it does in the morning. 

You know no one would ever believe you if you had told the world Lee Bodecker was like this behind closed doors. Affectionate, attentive, silly, domestic… Whatever is the best word for this morning. You bring the mug of coffee Lee has poured for you to your lips, the warmth from the mug radiating into your palms as you take a sip. Your eyes scan the newspaper that's scattered about the kitchen table and get a sense for the headlines. 

“They need a new Sunday school teacher,” you mumble casually glancing at the classifieds. From her highchair, Valerie blows an excited bubble of spit as Lee plops scrambled eggs directly onto the tray in front of her. There’s no point in trying for a bowl- she still is in the habit of tossing those on the floor. Her little fingers work to pick up the pieces, sometimes with too tight a grip, and feed herself. 

“Oh yeah?” Lee responds, placing one hand on your shoulder and the other tips the pan over your empty place to deliver your eggs. He adds some to his own plate in the place setting on the other side of Val’s high chair. He grabs the toast for the two of you out of the toaster and places the dish between you both. 

“Yeah,” you muse, grabbing a slice of toast. You start adding a slice of butter, waiting to see if he’ll pick up on the conversation you feel it might be time to have. 

“Is that something you’d be interested in?” he asks, as he sits down. 

“I’m not sure,” you say, “I mean, Lee- I need to be honest… It feels weird, I mean, correct me if I’m wrong- but, I don’t think you should pay me to be Vallie’s nanny anymore. It feels like we’re more than passed that now… right?”

He sighs, and you know he has felt the same. He looks relieved that you have brought it up first. 

“There’s something I need to take care of first,” he responds. “I think you should go for it. I agree this arrangement shouldn't be transactional anymore- it surely hasn’t felt like that in a really long time. I want this to be something better than that- you deserve that and so does she. I just need to tie up some loose ends. Then, we’re going to be a proper family, if you want that. Let me do the right thing.” 

“Are you pro-”

“No, ma’am, do not even finish that sentence,” he shushes you. “Don’t talk nonsense like that. You’ll know when I am doing that. It won’t be in a messy kitchen next to a toddler drooling over scrambled egg next to us. I’m just saying- I got to take care of some stuff. I think we’re on the same page. I just need a little time and then we’ll be situated in a more normal arrangement.” 

“Yes, sir,” you joke, picking up the section of the paper with the job listing. 

You continue to flip through the paper and Valerie continues to make a mess with her breakfast- occasionally taking a bite. Lee walks back and forth from the bedroom back to the kitchen to the living room in a loop getting ready to head to the station. Everything is in the wrong place and inconveniently nowhere near each other. He grumbles about the detail he’s needed for today, and how he thinks unfortunately he’ll be home late. He kisses your lips and Valerie’s head, mumbling about how he just wants to get home to his girls. Pressing another hurried kiss to your temple, he promises to make it home as soon as he can. 

Lee hated that he needed to lie to you. He justified it because he knew for your own protection, you couldn’t know where he was going and who he was actually meeting after his shift ended. When 6 o’clock rolled around, he got into his cruiser and shuddered, thinking about the meeting that was in for him. 

By some miracle of God or whatever higher power, Lee has been granted in his lifetime a reason to finally get out of the shady deals he’s previously dealt. He never meant to get tangled up in this. It was one favor that snowballed into others, and soon enough he's deeper than he ever thought he would have ever been. He knows he’s not innocent, and no one to blame but himself for the mess he’s caught up in. Part of him regrets not turning himself in. But he can’t do that, especially now, with that little girl sleeping soundly back at home. He can’t let her lose someone else. Even if the someone else is just as rotten to the core as he is.

He needed to get out. Pay his debts and start this life with both his girls with a clean slate. The last time he drove to this bar, he was here trying to get his mind off of you. Before he knew how it felt to wake up next to you, before he knew what it felt like to have your arms around his neck, before he knew how it felt to be inside you and how tight you feel around his- 

He has to get this over with as soon as possible. 

He walks in, and a member of Brown’s crew is sitting in the usual booth, nursing a whiskey. Lee averts his gaze when he sees Cherry sitting at the bar chatting up her next customer. He wants to pretend she doesn’t exist, and it never happened. It hangs heavy on his chest. You weren’t together, but the weight of his guilt feels like the highest infidelity. Brown sent a man named Wayne Hendrix to meet with Lee. Leroy Brown never came out for a meeting- his time far more valuable than anyone else. 

Lee recognized Wayne immediately. He grits his teeth, knowing this meeting is not going to go as smoothly as he would like. Wayne, much to Lee’s unlucky misfortune, was arrested by Lee on multiple accounts before he was sheriff. He knew Hendrix held a deep, unrelenting grudge on the past arrests. Hendrix did five years in prison because of Lee, and Lee knew that’s exactly why Brown sent him. 

“Wayne,” Lee said with a tip of his head, settling into the booth. 

“Bodecker,” Wayne practically spits, venom oozing from each syllable. 

“I’m not going to run for reelection,” Lee states, opting to just rip off the bandage. 

“Like hell you ain’t,” Hendrix laughs- a deep belly laugh that echoes through the whole bar. “Brown tells you when you run and when you don’t. What do you suppose you’re gonna do?”

“I want to settle my debts,” Lee says, standing firm to Wayne’s dismissive lecture.

“This ain’t how any of this works, pig,” Hendrix muses, swirling the remaining brown liquid in his glass before finishing it off. “Leroy don’t let anybody go. You ain’t ever out of debt to him. You think you can just write a check and suddenly you’re free of all your responsibilities and obligations? You gonna what- ride off into the sunset with that little plaything you got? Brown is just gonna lie down while you two are off playing house? Playing mommy and daddy?” 

Lee’s knuckles are white, and his nails practically draw blood from his palms as his fists form. His jaw is locked and he is doing everything in his power to swallow down the pure rage that boils his blood. It’s taking all of his strength to not lunge across the table. He could kill him. He takes long, steady breaths focusing on the chill that runs down his arms that releases the tension. He cracks his neck, and lets himself have a second to relax. Feeding into this is exactly what they want. They want him to lose his control. 

“I think it’s best practice to keep this discussion separate from family,” Lee suggests coolly, “You don’t bring up my girls, and I won’t bring up yours.” He watches as Wayne shifts uncomfortably in the booth. He watches as Hendrix’s eyes avoid his gaze. Wayne is very much aware that Lee not only knows his wife Maura from Church, but also his three daughters. Lee holds the upper hand if they are going to have a pissing contest on who knows more about whose private life. “I doubt Meg, Hannah and Marjorie want to know what their daddy gets up to when he misses their recitals.” 

“Listen,” Wayne spits, slapping both palms on the table, knocking over his glass. Both men ignore it, as it rolls off the table and crashes to the floor. “Leroy is going to offer you an out. It pisses me off to have to tell you about it. The only joy I’m getting out of this is the sweet knowledge that you’ll die trying.”

“What is it?” Lee urges him to continue. 

“You have Leroy’s word, you and your whole family are granted immunity and your debts are cleared. You just need to kill Deckard.” 

You’re asleep on the couch when Lee gets home. It’s well after 2am, and he feels sorry you must have forced yourself to stay awake as long as you could to make sure he got back safe. He places his hat down on the coffee table in front of you, and haphazardly takes off his tie on his way into the kitchen. He could cry when he sees the plate covered in foil that’s waiting for him. He notices there’s exactly one slice of cake left on the stand in the center of the table. In the frosting, it looks like you wrote “Lee” out with a toothpick, saving the piece for him. He walks back into the living room, and drapes the blanket from the back of the couch over your peaceful frame. He’ll let you sleep a little longer while he puts the food in the fridge. He’ll have it all tomorrow. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispers softly, rubbing your shoulder to wake you gently. It’s no good. You are completely unaware in your deep sleep. He sits on the coffee table, moving his hat out of the way. He lets himself watch you for a few moments, enjoying the way you look. You’re just so serene, and he knows you never believe him but you always look so beautiful like this. He loves seeing your whole face soften, and the way your cheek presses against the pillow.

 “Let’s go pretty girl,” he says, even though you won’t hear him. Although he’s been up for around twenty hours, and he’s weak from the full work day and his unfortunate complicated night that follows- he scoops you up in his arms without a second thought and carries you into the bedroom. He’ll tuck you in, and pull you close and he’ll let himself sleep soundly knowing you're protected in his arms tonight. He hears Valerie’s soft snores from her bedroom, and that is the final permission he needs to let his heavy eyelids rest. 

There’s much to be done in the morning, but Lee sleeps tonight knowing all of his jobs are done. 

Taglist:

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@sweetkingdomstarlight-blog

@thrxshsxbbxth

#the devil all the time #lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker smut #sebastian stan characters #tdatt fan fiction #tdatt fan fic #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker x reader smut #lee bodecker fic #lee bodecker x nanny!reader #lee bodecker x f!reader

[foxbirdy]

Help, I'm kinda stupid (bad brain disease and chronic illness shit) and scared but I really am wanting to do field work shit. I'm almost graduated from college but feel like I learned pretty much nothing and don't feel like I'm employable at all. I am highly motivated but I just like, don't know what the future holds!! How do you be a person with a job? How do you do the difficult things you do?

Hello ♥️ before I get into this I must give a disclaimer: I am by no means an expert! I am just some guy. I can share what I've had smacked into me over the course of my adult life, but it's definitely not gospel. Take anything I say about my own lived experience with a grain of salt, because it might not necessarily be true for you! Ok. Disclaimer over, let's get into it:

1 - Anon, you are not stupid. If you almost have a degree, you are killing it! I cannot even tell you how many people I know in field work who hated getting their undergrad with the passion of a thousand suns, and scraped through it by the skin of their teeth! I know lots of people who don't have degrees at all, and have no intention of getting one! Be proud that you almost have your degree.

2 - I do not have my degree! I am still working on it. I have a couple semesters to go. Everything I have done has been in the context of being a student, or someone with some college coursework and some practical experience. My brain is also not designed for the higher education system! The ADHD that makes me miserable in university work (understimulated, unfulfilled, unfocused) is also what makes me thrive in the field (performs best in high-stress environments, prefers novelty to routine, settled by working with my hands and body, excellent multitasker, intense focus on physical project work). Do not equate your ability to be a model college student with your employability.

3 - You already have the chiefest qualification required for fieldwork, which is that you are highly motivated! I've said this before, phrased differently, but the quality that most opportunities are looking for in a candidate is sheer audacity. The willingness to do crazy shit. The belief that you can do anything if you try hard. They need someone who's motivated enough (or unhinged enough) to say things like: "Yes, I will sleep on the ground. Yes, I will eat weird food. Yes, I will hike into work every day, hauling gear. Yes, I will not go crazy if I can't access the internet for weeks at a time. No, I will not turn homicidal if I'm working, eating, and sleeping with the same eight people for months. No, I've never driven a truck and trailer, but I will learn how. No, I don't have that certification, but I will get it. No, I've never used that software, but I will figure it out." If you can a) endure difficulty with enthusiasm, and b) not be phased by unknowns, you are more than halfway there.

4 - Put yourself out there! Drag yourself out of your comfort zone, within reason. Apply to things you think you have no chance of getting! Apply to things that scare you a little! Do research. Figure out what you want to do, and start where you can. Ask for help - it will make you connections! The worst that anyone can say to you is "no," and that isn't so bad. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes you have to work at a coffee shop for a few months in-between jobs. Sometimes you'll have to wait for weeks to get more information on travel, and sometimes you have to pack your bags and get in your car within 72 hours. Go with the water cycle, move with the ups and downs. Be confident, be adaptable, have audacity, and nail your resume to the door of anything that looks cool. Godspeed and good luck out there!

#i believe that you will figure it out 🫡 #asks #anonymous #dirtbag tag #beckett.txt

[elvisabutler]

love is all that i can give to you

summary: vampires in theory should not be able to procreate. you learn through a bit of an accident that such a theory is wrong. vampires being protective though? that's a theory that's pretty damn true.

fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 )

rating: t-ish? there's a bit of cursing, mild implications of violence, i'd peg it as a t.

word count: 3566

tw: blood mention, vampires, implications of hurting other people, werewolves, twilight jokes because do you really enjoy twilight to some degree if you can't joke about it? pregnancy and babies. a very blink and you miss it mention of child loss and a small mention of austin's mom.

author's note: so. once upon a time i posted an austin as a vampire fic called heart's got teeth. had blood kink, we all loved it. or like some people loved it and then life moved on. however, @diva-1992 requested vampire baby fic in the simplest forms. i said hey i should get it done within a week. that was a month ago and i'd like to formally apologize, things went real weird in my life. however, i do honor my requests when i say i'm gonna do them so hope this did what you wanted, my dear and i'd- promise that if you request something from me again i won't take this long but honestly, much like my "how long will this series be?" estimates are, my "how long will this take to write?" estimates are not the most accurate ever. i've also rewritten this more times than i want to count. not beta read but gave it a quick once over. whatever i missed blame on my two hours of sleep.

"You smell weird." Darce says one day when you're out for coffee, an old habit that started while Austin was filming Elvis and you found yourself wanting to know more about his costars. It's comfortable and routine enough by now that despite the whirlwind that's become Austin's and your life since the release of Elvis, you purposefully make time for it in your schedule. Still, when Darce says things like that out of the blue you have to question why you still choose to hang out with the man.

"Is that your way of telling me I need to shower?" You ask slowly, taking a sip of your peppermint tea. "Because I literally showered like 10 minutes before I met you here. I know I didn't sweat that bad already."

He laughs, shaking his head. "No, it's- you normally smell like your perfume or shampoo but today you don't. You smell kind of like a bakery. Like the bread cooking, maybe a pastry? I don't know what exactly it is, it's just weird. Because I don’t know where I’m getting that smell from.”

You scrunch up your nose partially because you feel a roll of nausea overcome you at the idea of food, which- when did start to get hungry this quickly after eating- and partially because there’s zero reason you should smell like that. In the end you end up just shrugging. “Maybe you’re smelling the girls behind us. They definitely look like they’ve got some of that Bath and Body Works Vanilla stuff going on.”

Darce just laughs and his comment is quickly forgotten until later on that night when Austin says nearly the same thing.

"You taste off." Austin looks at you confused as he pulls away from your neck after taking a sip. “Are you-”

"What the hell? First Darce, now you?" You cut Austin off in a huff, attempting to pull yourself up the bed and out from under him. ‘If I call Kelvin or Alton or Olivia, are they going to tell me I sound weird? I’m pretty sure I’m not hearing weird unless I hallucinated you saying that and I can see you right in front of me looking like you didn’t just tell me I taste off.”

Austin can see that you’re working yourself up and while he has found you very attractive when you get angry, he’s not in the mood to deal with it right now and honestly he’s just as confused as you about Darce saying you smell weird combined with you tasting off somehow to him. 

“Baby- I’m not- you taste almost like you’re sick.” He pauses and very quickly follows that with more of an explanation. “I don’t think you are sick, before you start worrying. But you just taste different. Like my taste buds are telling me not to drink from you. I can't explain it. I've never really experienced this before."

Somehow that was the wrong thing to say because you very quickly follow it up with. “Oh, so now I taste like something you shouldn’t drink from. You’ve just developed an aversion to me, okay. That’s great. I get what, a few months of you drinking from me until your body decides nope, go find another-”

The growl that leaves Austin’s mouth when he kisses you trying to get you to hush up is a warning. He only ever really does it when he starts to get angry and right now hearing you go down the line of thinking he can tell you’re going down is making him see red. He wants to drink from you, he wants to turn you, he wants everything with you and he’s told you this a million times but somehow it always escapes you when your brain is making you doubt his undying- literally- love for you. 

He pulls away and his hand just grazes the side of your face. “Darling. I love you more than anything I’ve ever seen in this world. No amount of my body deciding that it’s not okay for me to drink your blood will change that. Calm down. I’ll ask one of my older vampire friends. Okay? They might have experience with this sort of thing.”

You nuzzle at his hand, your temper cooling just a bit because he’s right. He does love you so very much and he reminds you of that every day. “You promise?”

He smiles slightly and kisses your forehead. “Promise.”

He actually forgets to ask because despite not drinking from you- well you happen to enjoy the night anyway. But the whole thing is forgotten anyway until one night a few weeks later when you’ve fallen asleep as you’ve been doing so often lately and Austin comes home from a hunt to hear your heart beating far too fast for everything to be okay. He trips over a chair or two before he gets to your shared room only to find you fast asleep. Breathing just fine with your nightgown a little tight over your chest but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He looks at your sleeping form in confusion trying to focus on the heartbeat he hears only to realize it’s not yours.If he focuses enough he can hear yours sounding normal but the overwhelming one, the one that has him falling to his knees is still coming from you just not where your heart is. 

“You’re- Holy shit, you’re pregnant.” He whispers to himself knowing fully well you're still asleep and that you're not awake to hear him. You’re pregnant and he didn’t even realize that was possible but the proof is there, he can hear a heartbeat that beats faster than yours centered in your lower abdomen. You’re pregnant with his child that he figured he’d never have. He wants to wake you up and tell you, but he’s covered in blood right now and you need your sleep. God that was why you had been so tired, you were- He would tell you tomorrow morning but for now he was going to shower and curl up with his head next to your stomach just listening to your child’s heartbeat.

When you wake up it’s hard to do so, partially because waking up in general is hard right now- you’ve been so tired that you’re seriously considering going to the doctor to figure out what’s going wrong. But the other reason is that you have an Austin shaped lump kissing on your stomach. That’s weird but not entirely unheard of, especially if he’s in a mood.

“Austin?” You question, your hand moving to his head and just sort of gliding through his hair. ”Hi baby, what are you doing?”

He hums against your stomach and you can’t help but giggle at the sensation. “Kissing my baby.” His lips curl into a smirk at the joke he makes that he gets but you don’t. 

“Oh.” You respond before using you grip to pull him just slightly away from your stomach so he can look up at you. “Uh huh. Kissing your baby. I’m up here. You’re kissing my stomach.”

Austin bites his lip and just looks so happy that you are wondering what the hell is going on. Did he drink from a drunk person? Is he drunk? Is he high? What is happening right now? Your eyes narrow just a tad while Austin just grins at you, his lower lip still being slightly bitten by one of his canines. “No. I’m kissing my baby.”

You understand the words that just came out of his mouth but your brain fails to properly process them until you just stare at Austin’s grin for just a little bit longer and notice his hands are cupping your stomach. “You’re kissing your baby. I’m- Are you telling me I’m- you’re a vampire.”

“I know.” He whispers, moving from his position in your lap and up to your face where he just places a hand on either side of your face. “I can hear them, darling. That’s- You’re definitely pregnant. I don’t know how but-”

“I’m pregnant with your baby.” You manage to state, wide eyed and in such shock you feel a bit of nausea at the thought. “That you didn’t realize I could have. Oh my god.”

He nods and the grin just stays on his face as he gives you a kiss, it’s soft and gentle, almost as if he’s scared you’ll break before he pulls away. “You’re pregnant with my baby. That explains why I couldn’t drink from you. I’m not- it’s the one rule vampires have and I guess our bodies won’t even let us do it either. You taste off because you’re not just you. You’re you and our baby.”

“Our baby.” You let out a nervous laugh. You’re happy, but this is so sudden and so unexpected you don’t quite know how to react. “I- I need to go to the doctor, oh god what if it’s not human- I mean I’d still love it anyway but- Aus! I can’t drink blood what if it needs blood-” Austin shushes you with a finger to your lips.

“You would have already been craving it, baby. And all I think you’ve wanted is steak and spinach which have iron and that’s a normal pregnancy thing, I think. Ashley- no Ashley had to deal with that so that’s a normal pregnancy thing. We’ll go to the doctor, get you checked out. I’ll call up the older vampires I know. See what I can find out. We’ll- if anyone can do this, it’s you."

There's times when Austin annoys you and makes you want to drive a stake through his heart because he's being just that much of a pain in your ass. This isn't one of them, this is one of those times you find yourself so overcome with love that all you really want to do is kiss him over and over again. You sniffle a little, tears of what you think are joy threatening to spill out before you kiss Austin softly. "Austin Butler, you don't need to say something as charming as that, you've already got me pregnant."

"I'm only telling my goddess of a girlfriend the truth." He replies simply before pulling you out of bed. "Now, mama, I think you deserve a special breakfast made by your very appreciative baby daddy."

The thing is Austin before you were pregnant was protective which was fun. It was hot even, but since he found out you were pregnant it’s gotten so much worse.You swear you can’t even leave the house without him following behind you making sure you don’t fall down the two steps outside of his house and of course he needs to walk you to the car. Now that he’s at the car, oh well he might as well come with you and scare off anyone who comes anywhere within a 5 foot radius of you and your stomach.The amount of times you had to apologize for Austin’s behavior increased the further along you were. It all came to a head one day when you were going to go out for your lunch date with Darce. He had been filming a new movie and so you hadn’t seen him for months in person. He hadn’t seen you in person for months, sure you had told him you and Austin were expecting but- there was a difference between that and seeing you in person. 

“I’ll be back in a couple hours!” You shout heading to the door knowing fully well that Austin is practicing his lines for his upcoming shoot. “Love you, Aus!”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” He asks, popping his head out of the room he was in. “I can bring the script with me, it’s not a big deal.”

“It’s lunch with Darce, Austin. It’s harmless.” Your hand strays to your stomach and rubs it, more out of comfort than anything else. “I’ll be fine, I promise.” 

His eyebrow quirks up. “It’s with Darce? I thought-” You hold your hand up.

“Not another word, Mr. Butler. I will see you later, go read your lines.” You smile before making a quick getaway or what you thought was a quick getaway.

When you see Darce at the restaurant you can’t help the way you grin and end up just barreling into him with the biggest hug you could manage. Rather than just letting you hug him he picked you up, mindful of your bump. He puts you down and motions for you to twirl which you do without question. 

“You look phenomenal and I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Austin is a lucky man.” Darce pulls out your chair and waits for you to sit down. “How did you get him to let you leave his sight? I’ve seen the stories.”

You groan. “I practically ran out of the house. He was mildly offended when i told him it was you I was going out with.” 

Darce opens his mouth before shutting it with what sounds like a mix of a groan and sigh. You can’t help but tilt your head and raise an eyebrow waiting for him to say whatever has him making that noise. “I’m not- Really not surprised.” 

Now it was your turn to be making the weird noise because you’re confused. Honestly, the way Austin had been protecting you was weird but you pegged it as him wanting to protect something he didn’t know you two could have. You could understand that, but separating you from a friend? Someone who he also defines as at least somewhat of a friend just didn’t make sense. There had to be another reason because you know that Darce would protect you just like he’d protect any of his friends. “Why? Because from where I’m standing it’s just my boyfriend being mildly controlling because I’m pregnant. But maybe that’s just me.”

There is a moment when Darce just looks into the distance behind you like he has seen a thousand lifetimes pass before his eyes. It occurs to you that maybe Austin is madman and is behind you, but when you don’t hear Darce say Austin’s name you realize it’s just that Darce doesn’t want to answer the question. You start to open your mouth to speak before- “Probably because I’m a werewolf and his brain is telling him I’m going to eat you and your kid.”

“You’re not a cannibal- Hold- What.” You brain had only really processed the words going to eat you and your kid, nothing else originally but once you started speaking your brain caught up fairly quickly and you find that your head is swimming a little before you speak again. “Did you just- You’re a werewolf? You- I think I’m going to pass out.”

“Please don’t.” Darce says very quickly as soon as you start breathing a little quicker. “I thought you knew.”

“You-” You force yourself to take a calming breath because stress wasn’t good for the baby but if looks could kill the one you give Darce would do it. “In what universe do you think I assume that everyone I meet is a supernatural entity. My boyfriend being one is an anomaly and for statistical purposes I don’t count it in my daily assumption/allotment of supernatural creatures. I didn’t think-” You pause. “No one assumes vampires and werewolves are real. I can be forgiven for not thinking you were a werewolf. Were you ever going to tell me this? Was he?”

And almost as if Austin had suddenly turned into Beetlejuice or just sensed something was wrong you feel the very familiar arms of your boyfriend wrapping around your shoulders. “No, because I assumed you knew. He’s not subtle about it. Look at him.”

Any other time Austin’s arms would be a comforting balm for you but all it inspires in you in that exact moment is bit of rage and overwhelming annoyance. Your voice drops to a very sharp whisper. “You remember how I reacted when you told me you were a vampire, right honey? How I was surprised? Hm. Now what makes you think I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Darce fucking Montgomery is a werewolf. Get your arms off me, darling. I’m mad and I don’t think you’re gonna like me mad right now.”

“Baby-” Austin starts before you cut him off.

“Y/N-” Darce also starts before you cut him off in the same breath.

“No. Both of you. I-” You shrug your shoulders to get Austin’s arms off your shoulders and move to get up out of your chair, a little slower than you’d like which gives austin enough time to try and stop you. “No, I’m going to go home- I’ll leave the two of you to have a little supernatural tete a tete.” 

“Darling-” He stops himself while trying to grab ahold of your shoulders. “You know- Look at me I didn’t mean anything by not telling you. I honestly thought you knew because you took me being a vampire so well- don’t- I just want to protect you and Kenna Rose.”

You look up at Austin focusing on his eyes and how he looks like he’s liable to cry in public, something he’s never been a fan of doing even before Elvis and his newfound larger fame. It’s a sign that he’s being genuine and it makes your shoulders loosen a little and the tension to leave your frame. Austin’s still looking at you and his hand moves to your stomach when your daughter chooses that moment to actually kick at where Austin’s palm is. Any tension and most of the anger that was still in your system just sort of floats away once you see Austin’s small smile at the gesture. You’re still annoyed and both him and Darce owe you a number of things to make up for this but maybe they weren’t completely silly for thinking you knew. 

“I know Aus.” You whisper, nuzzling at his neck and placing a soft kiss there. “You’re just being- really overbearing. I know you want to protect me. And I know that you want to protect Kenna Lori Rose.” His eyebrows go up at the use of his mother’s name breaking up the name he thought you two had decided on for your daughter. “I’m not complaining about that, but Austin, trust me to know when I’m doing too much and to protect myself. I don’t want to lose her any more than you do.”

Darce pipes up from his seat. “Austin, you know you’re part of the pack- my pack at least. All three of you, I couldn’t hurt them if I tried. My wolf would rather I jump in front of a bunch of silver bullets.”

You snicker and Austin looks at you with a bit of admonishment before exhaling and getting on his knees to press a soft kiss to your stomach. Your hand moves to touch his head, your fingers running through his long locks in a bit of comfort. “I know that, Y/N. She’s just special to- I never thought I’d have a kid since I was turned and you’re giving me one. I’m getting one from the most perfect human I’ve ever met.” He places another kiss, knowing fully well that someone is probably hiding a bush across the street with a camera taking a picture of this but he can’t bring himself to care. “And you’re- Kenna Lori Rose, you snuck that one on me, darling. Naming her partially after my mom.”

The smile that crosses your lips as you shrug is soft and barely there. “She’s a miracle and her due date is on the 27th. How could I not?”

His hand moves to his eyes to wipe at them as he stands up and pulls you close to his chest. “You really had no choice.” 

“I mean, I did, but I knew it would mean something to you.” You pause and look over at Darce before turning back to Austin. “So, can I enjoy my lunch date or does Mr. Overprotective Dad need to make sure I’m eating my veggies.” 

Austin has the decency to look chagrined before he holds up his hands. “Enjoy away, I’m pretty sure Jupiter and Ashley would welcome me with open arms today.” His lips sneak a quick kiss and his hand sneaks a quick brush of your bump before he lets you go back to sitting down. He looks at Darce. “Take care of her this lunch and we’ll talk about that whole godfather thing.”

Darce doesn’t say a word when you narrow your eyes at him. You wait until Austin’s out of earshot before you say the one joke that’s actually been in the back of your mind. “This isn’t some weird imprinting thing like Twilight, right?”

Darce’s laughter almost gets the pair of you kicked out of the restaurant. 

You get your answer when Kenna is born and the first person other than you and Austin to hold her is him. It’s not. It’s just a werewolf protecting his most fragile pack member just like Austin’s thing was him protecting his coven’s most fragile member. 

It doesn’t stop after she’s born and you’re okay with it.

#austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #austin butler x y/n #vampire austin butler #vampire!austin #austin butler #austin butler fluff #i am so unsure of that last tag jesus. #ally writes

[antisocialxconstruct]

calling this DONE because I don't want to look at it anymore. After exploring some of the other potential outcomes in @the-passenger-if I've warmed up to Ever's first ending considerably, although the one (1) thing that disappoints me is that if you're not on good enough terms with Roach you never get to find out Why™. So this was just my attempt to fill that little gap :v

2.8k, Ever and Roach have a nice friendly chat :) Major endgame spoilers, probably don't read if you haven't finished at least one playthrough

--

“Ever?”

He starts, glancing up at Fiama as if he’s only just become aware of her presence. From where she's hovering on the other side of the counter, coffee pot in hand, she arches a single sculpted eyebrow at him as he sits up slightly. "Hm? Sorry, I was a thousand miles away."

That's the understatement of a lifetime. Or overstatement, maybe. It's been eight months and he never once stopped thinking about Luna Ridge. About the feast. About coming the closest to perfect he’d ever been in twenty-six years, the closest to free he’d ever been… just to bounce off the damned portal like a bird hitting a window. Nothing’s felt right since. Nothing ever really felt right here, but he had learned to endure so long as it felt like he’d been moving steadily toward the end of it. Now…

Now there’s that little voice somewhere in the back of his mind telling him the same thing over and over. That was your chance and you missed it.

Fiama eyes him a moment longer, and he tries to smooth away whatever must be showing on his face. “I said are you doing okay? I feel like I’ve seen less and less of you lately, ever since…” She gestures vaguely with the coffee pot, but she won’t say it. There’s still some tiny, reluctant part of her that doesn’t like admitting any of that really happened, that the world extends that far beyond what makes sense. But Ever has no doubt she’s been thinking about it too.

“Oh… yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” Everything is so achingly normal now, he adds internally, and it’s a conscious effort to flash Fiama a light smile instead of the sneer that wants to accompany that thought. That wouldn’t be in character. That’s not how Ever Newman acts. But the little frown settled onto Fiama’s features isn’t going anywhere, and a sidelong glance tells Ever the diner is too empty for her focus to be redirected. He inhales sharply, clears his throat. “It’s just been an adjustment, you know?” he presses on. “We’ve been arranging some renovations to the bakery for Livvy’s sake, and in the meantime I’ve taken on a lot more of the work there to give her a break. It hasn’t left a lot of time for social calls is all.”

It’s a pretty weak lie, and not one that will hold a lot of water if Fiama has even one conversation with Livvy about it–the renovations are real, but in reality Livvy’s adapted admirably to her lost sight and the whole thing has become her pet project. The truth is Ever has been pulling away, avoiding people. The discomfort of having to pour himself back into this body, into this tiny excuse for a life, had deepened pretty quickly into resentment and disgust with every new reassurance that the other survivors of Luna Ridge still trusted him, still loved him, still thought of him as the Ever they had always known. I’m not, he wanted to remind them, I’m not anything that you know, I’m not anything that you could even comprehend. It had been dull to play human when his true existence had been a secret he had to keep. Now, to have that secret out only for the others to continue responding to the human mask after it’s been well and truly shredded… It's hell.

Still, he knows how to use it, and the lie gets exactly the reaction he was angling for. Fiama purses her lips in a sympathetic frown and gives him a slow nod, then leans in to top off his coffee. “Just make sure you’re making time for yourself,” she says softly. “It’s so important especially when you’re also looking after someone else.”

Ever empties three sugar packets into the freshly filled mug and tosses her a smirk. He starts, “speaking from exp-” but the comment dies on his lips when he realizes her attention is fixed on something over his shoulder. In the instant that follows a spark of panic arcs white-hot down his spine, before he can remind himself that there’s no longer anything after him.

Then Fiama straightens and the moment passes. “Sorry,” she chuckles, but her attention is already drifting, scanning the meager crowd in case she’s needed. “That person by the window just looked so familiar for a second.”

The non sequitur is enough to smother Ever’s fear in favor of curiosity, and he twists in his seat to see who she was looking at.

Then he freezes.

They do look different. It’s subtle, not immediately apparent whether anything actually changed or the distance of eight months has made their features seem unfamiliar. Maybe their hair is shorter? Maybe their clothes are new? But it couldn’t be anyone else. If Ever had been naive enough to doubt, it would have evaporated the second they glanced up and the sunlight bounced off those strange honey-gold eyes.

He’s out of his seat and across the floor before he can really even think about what he’s doing. His hands come down on the tabletop with a sharp thwack as he bends down to meet their eye. “If you were half as smart as you like to act,” he growls, “you’d be halfway around the globe right now.”

Roach blinks, then gives him a slow, syrupy smile. “And if you were half as powerful as you like to claim, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation right now, would we?” Ever holds their gaze and grits his teeth, but he isn’t able to offer any kind of rebuttal before they speak again. “What are you going to do, Ever? Are you gonna kill me? Explode my head right here in front of all these lovely people? You could, right?”

Could he? It’s a tempting prospect in spite of the mess it would make. His eyes stay locked onto theirs for another moment as he weighs his options, until a strangely acrid smell hits his nose. He glances down to see the clear coating of the table begin to warp and bubble around his hands, and the sticky tearing sound it makes as he yanks them away makes him wince. His palms feel raw but he crosses his arms without looking at them, takes a deep breath, counts to five inside his head. He never takes his eyes off Roach, and they never waver as they stare back in patient, openly amused silence.

“Why did you come back?” Ever finally asks, once he’s calm enough to be certain his voice will stay respectably level. It’s still dripping with vitriol. “I  can’t imagine you thought you would finish the job.”

Roach laughs, sharp and sudden as they ever did. Like the two of them are sharing a long-running joke. “This might be hard to believe but my life doesn’t revolve around you, Ever. I came back to see how Jonny was doing. Because I like him.”

“And I’m supposed to believe it was just a wild coincidence that we crossed paths here?”

“Oh, no.” Roach shrugs. “I did follow you here.” Ever unfolds his arms and moves as if to grab Roach out of the booth before pulling up a split second later, balling his hands into fists at his sides and fixing a withering glare over Roach’s shoulder at nothing in particular. What is he going to do, beat them up in the middle of the diner? He’s fairly certain he has them to thank for the fact that no one has taken notice of this little confrontation yet–a realization that only makes him bristle all the more. “Reconsidering that whole ‘exploding my head’ option?” they purr, reining his attention back in. Then they lean back in the booth, drumming their fingers on the table for a beat before they continue, “so how are you adjusting to life without a Hunter on your tail? I really thought you’d bail when that was all over, imagine my surprise to find you still living out your days in this little dead end of a town.”

“I can’t,” Ever spits, as if Roach should feel stupid for even asking. They don’t even flinch. “Tzr’nekre’s essence wasn’t enough to break free, I had no choice but to shove myself back down into this dimension, into this.” He presses a hand to his chest, then drags it down the fabric of his shirt like he’s trying to rid himself of some distasteful residue. The melted plastic, maybe, and not the ever-clinging concept of humanity. “Now I’m stuck here for-” he grimaces, rolling his eyes up toward the ceiling before snapping them back down to the creature in front of him. “I don’t know. Maybe forever."

Roach pouts. "You seem a little bummed out about that."

"You have no idea what this feels like, Roach, I’m not like you,” Ever bites out, rapidly losing the already shaky grip he had on his own temper. “I'm not small enough to fit in this reality, every second I spend here feels like I had to cut myself down to the right size. And I still remember what I was, I remember how much I had to cut even if I can’t remember what I lost. I can feel the holes.”

Once started, the confession comes tumbling past his lips almost against his will, but then that’s how it always went, didn’t it? All the rage boiling under his skin, all the contempt for humanity and the deep certainty that he deserved more, he deserved respect and deference–Roach was the only one who could begin to understand it. So they were the only one who ever saw the mask slip. Before their betrayal was revealed he had convinced himself that they must be sympathetic, that even if he and they existed in totally different strata, they understood that he was right, that this was unfair. Now as they watch him with a commendably mild expression, one elbow on the table and chin propped up in their hand, he can see the cold glimmer behind their eyes for what it really is and he finally understands. They just think it’s funny.

They blink once, a slow little gesture that might have seemed playful in the past. And they smile. Then at length they finally say, "sit down, Ever. I want to tell you a story."

Something in their tone puts him immediately off balance. They still sound perfectly conversational, but there’s an edge he doesn’t think he’s ever heard before, a knife against his throat telling him this is not an invitation, it’s an order. Something between them, something in the balance of power that had always seemed so obvious and natural, has just fundamentally shifted.

He sits down.

Roach doesn’t immediately start talking again. They shift in their seat, picking idly at the new and unmistakably handprint-shaped blemish on the tabletop as they make a show of looking thoughtful. Just when Ever is about to prompt them to move on, they speak of their own accord. “When this all started you asked me what I was. I wasn’t… entirely honest with you at the time.”

“No kiddi-”

“Don’t interrupt me.”

Ever snaps his mouth shut with a bitter frown. A second passes, and then a bright smile lights up Roach’s features again.

“Before all this, before Earth, I was… immense. Or I was part of something immense,” they begin, only to momentarily hesitate. “I don’t remember exactly… There were millions of us, but we were all one. Like a hive, or like… cells in a single organism. Connected. We existed to feel and learn, to experience as much of all the infinite universes as we could, and we all felt and learned and experienced as one. Knowledge and understanding and sensation gained by one of us instantly passed to all the others. It was… an indescribable existence. We were omniscient.” They hold Ever’s gaze with an intensity he finds unsettling the whole time they’re speaking, and when they pause again he gets a prickling, uneasy feeling that they’re daring him to comment. But they did say not to interrupt, and he keeps his lips pressed firmly together as he leans forward to fold his arms atop the table and wait for them to arrive at their point. Apparently satisfied, they do just that. “Then we started to die. Just winking out, one after another, over and over and over.”

A cold knot of dread settles in the pit of Ever’s stomach as the picture Roach is painting finally comes into focus. “You were being preyed on,” he breathes. Roach simply tilts their head slightly, coaxing him onward to the second half of that revelation. He grimaces. “By me.”

He had never questioned why Roach sold him out. It had seemed obvious, they had made the calculated decision that putting him in the line of fire would give them room to escape. It was a coward’s play.

“Can you imagine what it feels like to die, Ever?” they ask. Still light, still conversational. “Like to fully stop existing, not just come close? I don’t have to, you know? I know exactly what it feels like to be hunted, cornered, consumed, a million times over. I lived those deaths right along with them. And the funny thing is that’s pretty much the last thing I do remember feeling. By the time you were done and I had fallen here on Earth…” they spread their hands out, palms up, on the table. “I couldn’t feel much of anything anymore.”

Ever takes a long, slow breath and holds his silence a little longer. It makes sense. He might try to convince himself that vengefulness is a human trait, assigning too much moral weight to the instinctive actions of his kind… but that doesn’t change the facts. It doesn’t change that he wiped out an entire species simply for daring to challenge his freedom to do as he wished. It doesn’t change that Tzr’nekre followed him to earth just to tear him apart piece by piece for the crime of not dying between its teeth. It doesn’t change that he would like very much to reach across the table and finish what he started.

He closes his eyes, takes one more deep breath, then faces Roach again. “What was the goal, then? In coming back, telling me all this… what do you want from me?”

Roach laughs again, and it’s a much sharper and colder sound now. “Are you for real? Obviously I wanted you dead.”

“Okay well you didn’t get that,” Ever sneers. “So now what?”

“True,” Roach concedes with a shrug. “But if I’m being honest, all this…” they sweep their hands out to encompass the diner around them, “this little private purgatory you’ve built for yourself? it’s probably better than anything I or Tzr’nekre would have come up with.”

That’s not the direction Ever was expecting that to go. He blinks numbly at Roach for a second, then casts a hasty glance around the diner. “What?”

“You said it yourself, you’re stuck here. The one place you least wanted to be, the place you were prepared to sacrifice anything and anyone to leave. Everyone still believes you’re one of them, and you can’t prove otherwise.” Roach casts a glance at Fiama, busying herself with tidying the countertop and entirely unconcerned with Ever’s conversation. “Even the people who know, they still think you care, that you were ready to put yourself in harm’s way for them and not the other way around, and you can’t tell them any different because the one thing you do care about is being liked. You can’t bear the thought of any actual friction in your life so you’ll keep playing the perfect, charming friend and neighbor because you know it’s the closest thing to worship you’ll ever get again.” Roach leans forward, their smile turning to nothing but teeth and sharp edges. “And I for one, really hope you’ve got a long, ordinary, human life ahead of you.”

Ever’s blood runs cold in an instant. He scrambles out of the booth and several paces away from the table before finding the composure to at least pull himself up straight. “I’ll get out,” he declares, and even to his own ear it sounds like he believes it less than he ever did before.

“Maybe so, it’s good to have dreams,” Roach snickers. The look Ever shoots him probably could have curdled milk, but he turns without another word to make his way out of the diner. Not running away. No. Just nothing left to say to someone like Roach.

But it means Roach gets the last word. “But hey, in the meantime,” they call after him, “maybe I’ll see you around!”

#the passenger #the passenger if #the passenger spoilers #ever newman #the end feels a little rushed and messy but sadly my brain started melting out of my ears #anyway Ever sucks..... I hate him ♥ #rom fiction

[helium-rambles]

My Favorite Perfumes

Ahh, thank you!! Excuse to ramble!

First off @moth-time YES! They are SO much nicer than alcohol, in my opinion. They make some oil perfumes that are still sprays, but I go for the ones that are roll on or just dabbed onto the skin. Sprays have a tendency to stick to clothes and thus last longer and have more projection, over something just on the skin that will evaporate from your body heat.

I shop indie perfumes as it's easier to find oil based ones (and it's usually significantly cheaper!)

Of all the indie perfumes houses I've tried, so far my favorite is Cherry-ka's Trunk on Etsy. They make fragrances inspired by fandoms and horror tropes and the wild west and overall are just really cool. I found them by looking up a fandom thing on etsy and was confused as to why a fragrance showed up. Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I tried some, and have been in love ever since.

I've now sampled 55 of their scents. Of those, I have destashed 17 of them to my roommate, am currently sampling 7, and the rest I liked enough to finish up the sample and some I'll full-size (or have already full-sized). Also worth noting that they're gender-inclusive! All their scents are for people of any gender! (Some indie perfumers tend to label feminine or masculine or unisex perfumes, which is apparently an indicator for people who are into mainstream perfumes to get an idea of a scent profile. But as someone who doesn't have the baseline knowledge of what that means, I feel a little off-put on trying some of those scents.)

My absolute favorite from Cherry-ka's Trunk (and of every fragrance I've ever tried) is Flying which has notes of fir, mint, and florals. This is also the one that taught me about resting oils. When I first got it, it pretty much just smelled like mint to me. I liked it (in fact, I will wear almost anything with mint in it) but it was pretty plain mint. Then as I used up the sample, the other notes became more pronounced. When you first apply it, it's still mostly mint, but the florals add some sweetness to it, and as the scent dries down, there is the astringent woody quality of the fir.

I didn't even notice the change as I used up the sample, but once I finished the sample, I found myself missing it so I bought a full-size. When I finally got it in the mail I was disappointed to sniff it and only get mint. Why did I want to full-size this again? I put it at the back of my perfumes and forgot about it for a month, only to try it again and be like WOW! I LOVE THIS! I waited until I used up my 5ml to purchase another, and I regretted waiting it, because I had to wait another month for it to become as beautiful as it gets. Next time, I'm ordering as soon as my bottle starts running low!

Other ones I've full sized from them are...

Pronounced (metal, green tea, paint, musk ) This smells strongly of metal to begin with! If you do not like the scent of metal, I don't recommend this. The metal fades away into a beautiful musk. I'm addicting to their musk. It's not an overy dirty musk, nor the laundry detergent musk. I don't know what type of musk it is, but I know I'm the most attractive person alive while wearing it. Oddly enough, I've found this is a summer scent for me.

Two Queens (lavender, coffee, musk, aftershave) Honestly, I got this for the coffee note, but don't smell any coffee in this. I do get a very herbal lavender, that reminds my of motel linen (fitting because of the inspiration for this perfume) and it dries down into that amazing musk. This musk is a little brighter(?) than Pronounced but still very good. I huff this scent until my nose wears out.

Conman (chamomile, blueberry, muguet) This blueberry.....I usually find blueberries too tart and sour, but this smells the way I want blueberries to taste. It's sweet, but not sugary. It's nicely supported by the herbiness of the chamomile. Kinda like a dried grass smell. I'm also very tickled by the name of this. I'm unfamiliar with the character it's based on, but I wear this when I want my own conman confidence.

And I will cut my rambles there for now! I'm not sure if this answers the question of what sorts are my favorites, cuz the only real pattern I've noticed in my collection is that I like mint and (some) musks. And I like metal and leather scents for summer. Thanks again for the excuse to ramble!

#perfume rambles #cherry-ka's trunk #i feel like i will go into more depth on some of these later #like i need to wax poetics about the craftsmanship in pronounced #trying the bolding some words thing that i've seen some blogs do for longer posts #not sure i'll keep it #but i can try

[puddingsdiary]

We dare!

I know it was very quiet here for a while now. But recently I talked on discord with @perhaps-in-anotherdream about a scenario like the following and the thought won't leave me alone. So I brought it to virtual paper. Maybe I can hire her as my Muse? 😁

Just kidding, but I hope you like it even a little bit.

Without further Ado, everyone have fun!

Still a week to go until their long awaited vacation and MC already finished most of her work but Victor was still very busy. During the last year those two were so busy that there wasn't much time for a vacation, a weekend here and there, sometimes even in combination with a business trip. Fatigue had piled up until two months ago MC had a small weakness attack on a film set. Afterwards both of them decided it was time for a long vacation. Next week it's finally time for their 3 week leave to start. Victor had made the itinerary this time, saying that this trip's purpose was to recharge and relax, so all MC knew was that they would go to Paris first. Nevertheless MC couldn't wait for this final week to be over.

With a cup of coffee she went to the study to see if he had finished for the day when she heard him talking.

"We're doing fine. Thanks. What about you and uncle?"

Obviously his Aunt Alice had called. So MC entered hoping she could also talk to Aunt Alice.

"MC is also here, wait I'll put you on speaker." Victor put his mobile on the desktop and turned on the speaker as soon as he saw MC entering.

"Hello, Aunt Alice."

"My dear, you haven't called in a while."

"Uhm, yeah. I was very busy, you know. Your nephew is a demanding boss." Sticking out her tongue at Victor's frowned face, MC could hear Aunt Alice chuckle over the phone.

"Since I can talk to both of you… We've been asking us for a while now, and I'm sure you know that already, but still, you two have been engaged for so long now. When will you finally marry?"

MC didn't know what exactly to answer since Alice wasn’t wrong. Searching for help she looked at Victor while fidgeting with her engagement ring.

Victor sighed, he put his hand on hers.

"Aunt, we'll take the next step when we see it fit."

Now it was Aunt Alice's place to sigh.

"Don't wait too long, you two. Your father is longingly waiting for a grandchild."

MC blushed at this comment.

"Being married is not necessarily a prerequisite for becoming parents. Plus, I highly doubt it's father who waits longingly."

As if pouring oil into the fire, at Victor's counter her face became beet red.

"I know…"

"Sorry, Aunt, I have another call incoming and it's important. We'll call you when we're back or better, why don't we come to visit at the end of our vacation."

"Don't think I don't know you're dodging the topic. But ok. I see you when you come. Have a nice trip!"

The call ended with his Aunt laughing and Victor looked at a brooding MC.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "No-Nothing."

"Are you bothered by her nagging?"

"That's not it."

"But?"

"Why are we still waiting? We've been through the rituals twice already but always just for show. Was this enough for you?"

"Dummy." Victor pulled MC onto his lap, his arms tightly wrapped around her waist. "How could this ever be enough?" HIs voice became so soft, it nearly melted all her doubts.

"I don't know. We've been engaged for two years now. Yes, especially last year was hectic and very busy…" MC's voice became quiet further down the sentence, not sure how to actually word her feelings. Even without words he understood the girl perfectly. Victor brought his lips close to her ear.

"Then why don't we marry before heading to Paris?"

His breath tickled her skin, the low voice sending a pleasant shiver down the body. It took MC more than a second to realize what he actually said. Looking at Victor in disbelief MC asked for confirmation.

"You mean now?"

"Of course, you seem not really willing to wait any longer, not that I don't feel the same. Maybe I've just waited too long for you to be ready, not seeing that you are. You just said it, we’ve done all the rituals western as well as traditional. What’s left is signing the papers." It was obvious, Victor was dead serious.

"Simply signing some papers isn’t what I thought about my wedding… And what about your family? We'd want them to be there." MC was not yet totally convinced right now.

"Dummy, of course we're holding a ceremony when we're back. You can have everything you want for our wedding ceremony."

The idea of eloping and coming back married finally took form in her head and a grin spread across MC's face.

"Yes! Let's do it!" MC threw her arms around his neck and planted a big kiss on his lips. Victor didn't intend to let her go easily and deepens the kiss. For an eternity there was only the touch of their lips against each other and tongues entwined in a sensual dance. The breath shared became thin and at the end they had to part to catch some air. While MC looked at Victor's slightly flushed face a thought crossed her mind.

"We have to tell your mum!"

"What?"

"Even if we don't tell anyone, we need to tell your mum. We should visit her beforehand and tell her. We can get married in Èze as well, right?"

Her words created a lump in Victor's throat. For a split second he was speechless. Warmth spread from his fast beating heart. MC once said that he was a grand miracle but Victor was convinced that the true miracle sat on his lap right now. To think of how precious his mother was and still is to him at this moment. If possible Victor loved MC even more now.

*Cough* "You're right. I'll make the necessary arrangements first thing in the morning."

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a nice sunny late spring day with a handful of small clouds sprinkling the sky. Victor strode towards his mother's grave. MC didn't speak, satisfied with walking next to him, her hand holding his. What they were going to do was very meaningful not only for Victor. She squeezed his hand lightly and he turned his gaze to her, the corners of his lips tugged up lightly.

As always when they were here, there was a hint of sadness deep down in his eyes, yet MC could clearly see how happy he was.

In front of his mother's grave Victor sat down, pulled MC onto his lap. His left arm was wrapped around her waist while the fingers of his right were entwined with hers. Just like he tended to do to calm MC down, her thumb drew circles slowly on Victor's skin.

"Hi, Mum." The voice was a bit hoarse and Victor cleared his throat before he spoke again.

"We're going to get married today and want you to be the first to know. It was quite the spontaneous idea to do it now, so please don't say anything to Dad. But don't worry. We'll celebrate with everyone when we're back home."

As if sending her blessing, the small cloud covering the sun for the last few minutes moved and the gras around the grave was bathed in sunlight.

"Look Victor! Your mum is telling you how happy she is for you." With a beaming smile MC looked up to him.

"Dummy, just coincidence that the cloud moved past the sun just now. But yes, Mum would be happy knowing you by my side." He placed a light kiss on her forehead and MC snuggled even closer, leaning her head on his shoulder. They stayed a little while talking about all the things that happened since their last visit.

Victor being efficient and very thorough was nothing new. Still MC questioned how he was able to make it happen, even in a rather small town like Èze you won't get a wedding date with the authorities within a week's notice.

After their visit at the cemetery Victor and MC returned to their hotel room. MC had one condition, even if not wearing a wedding dress at least she wanted to dress up nice and have a celebratory dinner afterwards.

“Are you ready?” Victor walked behind MC and looked at her in the mirror when she fixed the second earring to her ear, the pair he had gifted her the day of their first kiss.

"We need to go."

The dark blue dress flowed around her curves and the delicate silver threads weaved into the fabric blinked like little stars at every move. Victor thought of her as breathtakingly beautiful and she belonged to him. He couldn't resist and placed a kiss on that one spot in the crook of MC's neck normally hidden by her hair.

"If you continue like that, Victor, we'll miss our appointment and all my hard work to look beautiful is going to waste."

Still looking at MC in the mirror Victor's eyes made a promise that this is not the end here, sending a shiver down her spine. Nevertheless, he picked up her coat and helped MC inside.

"You're wrong. You're always beautiful." With those last words, he pulled MC towards the door.

The deed itself was done very quickly. As requested the official kept the ceremony to the minimum. So after both said their "I do." and exchanged the rings they just signed the official papers. Not even half an hour after entering they left the building as Mr and Mrs Li.

~~~~~~~~~

The remaining vacation passed in the blink of an eye. As promised before returning home Victor and MC visited his family. In doing so, they killed two birds with one stone. Not only would they break the big news, they also pick up Pudding who was taken care of by Victor's father. For the big news Victor invited everyone for dinner at his father's.

Right after everyone had finished and they had moved over to the living room Victor ask for their attention. MC next to him, he pulled her even closer, on arm around her waist.

"We've an announcement to make."

Seeing the pair standing there like that his aunts got sparkles of expectations in their eyes.

"I won't say any names but a few people here were friendly nagging about a wedding date for some time now." Victor clearly looked at both of his aunts. Both women decided to play the innocent lamb.

"Well, I have to admit, we already got married. ... Three weeks ago in Èze."

All of the family sitting there looked at them speechless. Aunt Alice was the first one to recover somewhat.

"How dare you to not share this huge event with your family. Victor, I really thought better of you." Disappointment was clearly written on her face and Aunt Grace nodded in support.

"Aunt Alice, you've already witnessed our wedding a few years ago."

"That's impossible. I won't forget something like that."

"The rehearsal for your anniversary, where Victor and I were your stand-ins?" MC helped out.

"Ah! See as you said it was the rehearsal for our anniversary. How can it be your wedding. What nonsense are you talking about?"

Victor shook his head.

"Yes it was your anniversary but I meant every word I said." Saying this he looked at MC who answered his gaze.

"And while I didn't realize back then I also meant what I said." She turned her head to look at the others and grinned brightly. "So technically you witnessed everything. We just never signed the papers. That's what we fixed in France."

Aunt Alice came up close and poked both their chests.

"You cheeky little bastards." Then turned towards her brother in law. "Don't you have anything to say?" It looked like she had no arguments left for the moment.

"What should I say? My son always had his own head." Victor's father shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "But I was kinda looking forward to stand in for your father and hand you over to my son." Within his eyes disappointment was fighting with pride, that they pulled off something like this.

MC smiled at him, happy he was willing to do this.

"You'll get your chance, Dad, when we're holding a proper ceremony later this year. I can call you Dad now, right?"

Victor's father laughed and walked over hugging his now daughter in law.

"Of course, you could have called me this way earlier." Afterwards he pulled Victor in a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

Aunt Alice threw her hands in the air helplessly at the scene in front of her.

"What should I do with you?"

This time it was Victor who took the initiative and hugged his aunt.

"Accept it and be happy for us."

"I am. But don't think I'll let you off that easily. I expect a proper ceremony, just so you know! And don't dare to make me wait till New Year's Eve just because it's still *this year*!"

#mlqc #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc victor #mlqc fanfic #mr love li zeyan #mr love victor #mr love #love and producer victor #love and producer #love and producer li zeyan

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Wait okay what about Lucian trying to talk Peter into accepting ethical vampirism as an option/into not despairing quite so badly?

Lucian is trying his best and Peter is difficult, but what else is new?

On with the fic!

--

Peter should feel like he was in a dangerous saw-trap house due to his personal collection in his penthouse of vampire hunting tools, but he was still a hunter, damnit. Even if it... seemed bad that he was now one of the people he hunted. Was this like being a hitman against humans? He didn't know.

He tried not to think about it, especially about his situation, but it wasn't easy to avoid thoughts of fangs and blood. All he had to do was look in the mirror and know that he wasn't looking at a human anymore.

He tried to carry on with his life, he still performed his show, still caused trouble for people both in real life and online, and often could be found trying to get drunk off his ass. There just tended to be more panic attacks now, and times where he hid in dark shadows of his home as, apparently, the smallest species of bat in North America, which meant avoiding problems was made so much easier now. The only plus he could think of because of this stupid problem.

Well.

No.

There was another plus, and that was Lucian.

They'd only known one another for less than a month, but Peter found himself latching onto the guy constantly. Both metaphorically and physically when he needed to drink blood. Yes, he had... disgustingly been bringing animal blood into his diet, with the few foods he could actually stomach (which wasn't much, and he gave up quickly on trying to figure out what he could eat because he was tired of being sick), but Lucian's fresh blood was like a damn drug.

Maybe it was because it was offered willingly right from the source, who knows. But Peter always felt horrible after consuming it, even if it calmed the hunger that was always there, in the back of his mind.

He licked his lips, trying to savor every drop, as he pulled away from Lucian's wrist. Always the arm, always the wrist, Peter didn't want to bite Lucian's neck. He watched as the bite marks started to heal already. "I hate this." He said, staring at the wound.

"It's better than the alternative, though is the animal blood helping?" Lucian asked as he pulled down his sleeve, hiding the wound from Peter.

"Ehhh... kinda? I mean, it's not the worst, clearly, it's just... it's not as good as sucking you."

Lucian makes a face and Peter grins before sighing, leaning back against his couch, looking at his ceiling that he was becoming much more accustomed to now that he discovered he can sleep on it, oddly enough. What the fuck kinda vampire is he?

"I'm trying to drink it so I don't have to keep relying on you for my fix. I found that I can mix it with things, not everything tastes great, but I can tell you straight up that blood makes for the best fuckin' Bloody Mary you'll ever drink. I'll have to make you one later today. I also weirdly like it in my coffee, but I think that's cause I cover it up with enough syrups to hide the metallic taste."

"That sounds disgusting."

"Don't knock it 'til you try it, pretty boy." Peter snorted and moved to sprawl on the couch. "Look, Lucian, I'm tryin', alright? But I hate this! It... it sucks! You wanna know somethin'? I tried to chew some gum the other day, and my body made me feel horrible about it, so now that's something I can't have!"

He flopped down so he was on his back, and then moved to curl up, facing the couch. "I fuckin' hate this. I never asked to have this happen, I just... I'm always so careful! I used to wear silver all the time to protect myself! And guess what!"

"What?" Lucian asked, placing a hand on Peter's leg, the one he had unconsciously dropped on the man's lap.

"Apparently it burns me! I've had to give my shit away, and that's a lot of silver, mind you. Luckily, the girls in the show were more than happy to take some from me, and the rest I've given away in some fan contest thing online. My PR people like it because it means I'm doing somethin' nice for the fans, but it's mainly so I don't kill myself while wearin' my bling."

"Oh, I wasn't aware that silver was deadly to you. It's rather dangerous for me as well, and for many werewolf-like people. Not sure why, but it's painful. And trust me when I say that I wouldn't wish silver nitrate bullets on my own worst enemies, that was..."

Peter glanced at Lucian, watching his face contort into something that looked very pained, like he was feeling a phantom sensation. He only knew a bit of Lucian's past, that he had been the first of his kind and a leader who had 'died' during the last great battle of an underground vampire/lycan war. He remembered Lucian saying he had been shot and left for dead by bullets made of silver nitrate that liquefied in his veins. Yeah, he couldn't blame the guy for not wanting anyone else to deal with something like that.

"How do you do it, Lucian?" Peter sighed, moving to be on his back, eyes on the ceiling.

"Do what?"

"Just... not be human."

"I was never human to begin with, Peter, so I'm not sure how to answer that question for you."

He groaned and gently kicked the lycan. "I need an answer, I need to know how to handle this, to live as the thing I hate most in the world! For fuck's sake, Lucian, I spent most of my life learning how to keep these things away and how to fight them, just in case Jerry ever tracked me down to finish the job."

He wrapped his arms around him, squeezing tightly, his chest felt tight and he felt a little dizzy. "I'm trying, I'm trying, but I don't know what to do, or how to accept this...!"

He felt a squeeze on his leg, a comforting feeling. "Peter, it's alright."

"No, it's not."

"It's only bad because you can only see the negatives."

"They're all negatives. I don't want to be this, I just want to be human again."

Lucian sighed, rubbing his leg. "What if it had been different? What if someone of my kind had bitten you?"

Peter glanced at him, frowning, then shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know... I don't have beef with you guys, but it would be... bad? Awkward? I dunno the first thing about bein' a lycan."

"But you know vampires, you know how to keep yourself safe, you know your limitations and strengths, right?"

"Not... really? Kinda? I dunno, this isn't a well know species, but I know some stuff."

"That's good, it's a start. How about this, considering you can't undo what has been done, maybe we can find ways to make this work for you? There are pros and cons to being an immortal humanoid being, let's figure out what you like and dislike about it."

Peter scoffed. "Lots of cons there, wolfy. Cons: I'm the thing that killed my parents and girlfriend."

"You're not the same kind."

"Still, a vampire." Peter held up two fingers. "Con: I have to survive on blood."

"Pro: You've found some foods you can eat just fine, and other liquids are not a problem for you at all."

"Con: The sun hurts me."

"Pro: The sun hurts everyone, and you can actually still walk in it, even if only for short periods of time."

"Con: I sometimes eat bugs."

"Pro: Only as a bat."

"Con: I can turn into a bat."

"Pro: You can turn into a bat, and you love it. You told me you like being a bat to escape your problems."

Peter glared at him, damnit, he was right, he actually did love being an adorable, little bat. Especially when he discovered the wonders of just sleeping on one of his big, fancy, expensive bed pillows and just napping for hours like that.

He continued to try and bring up his bad stuff. "Con: Uhh... I get an ugly bat face."

"Pro: It's not ugly, it's fascinating and threatening. You also get a new eye color that oddly fits you." Lucian said with a straight face, but Peter felt his oddly-working heart beat just a little faster.

Fucking charmer.

"Con: I can't get drunk or high like I used to."

"Pro: It's much better for your health that you don't."

"God, you're a killjoy." Peter snorted and Lucian laughed, stupid, pretty, wolf man with a cute laugh.

Lucian smiled at him. "Pro: You're stronger, faster, and more agile like this. You can do things you've never done before, and you're immortal now, unable to age, you get to keep your looks from now on."

"Are you trying to appeal to my egotistical side?" Peter asked. "Cause it's almost working."

"Maybe." Lucian said and went back to rubbing his leg. "Peter, it's going to be difficult, I cannot lie to you about that. I have known many lycans and vampires who were once human that have changed and have had trouble accepting their new lives, but they had found benefits that worked for them, things that made life a little easier."

Peter sighed. "I get that, but... it's the principle of this thing, ya know? I feel like this is a punishment, for all the shitty things I've done. Or Jerry's revenge from beyond the dirt in his shitty, creepy basement where his ashes are laying. And... what's worse is that I was never given a choice, it was given to me against my will, like a bad gift I can never return or trade off."

Lucian nodded, looking like he finally understood what was bugging Peter. "It'll be a long road to accepting, and that might not even involve willingly accepting it all. But through all of this, you have me to help you, or even just to vent to, alright?"

He looked at Lucian and damnit, this man was just... how was it that he was a wanted war criminal when he was so nice and understanding? Peter reached out a hand, taking Lucian's in his own, he felt so hot to the touch, so alive, it was weird to be aware of that.

"Thanks. Just... ya know, thanks." He muttered, looking anywhere but at him.

"You're welcome." Lucian gave his hand a squeeze and they sat quietly in a comfortable silence.

Then Lucian spoke again. "Another pro: You like sleeping on the ceiling."

"Hell yeah, I do. You should try it, defying gravity sleeping in the best."

"I can't do that, even if I can climb on walls and ceilings in my wolf form."

"For real? Dude, that is so fuckin' hot."

"What?"

"Nothin'."

--

I almost, *almost* wrote them kissing during the pros and cons scene, but I thought, no, too early. Even though Peter unconsciously wants to smooch him.

#lucian x peter vincent #john's drabbles

[madfantasy]

So I went to the hospital, ER, cuz I haven't been able to breathe or sit upright or do the minimum effort without feeling like fainting or puking, for over a week, heh.

It happened suddenly when my guardians were yelling about something and me yelling back of not having coffee when I felt so lightheaded and dropped on the couch..

I'm getting better now, they checked my vitals and told me everything is normal and asked me if I wanted this contraption on my face, which I said ye..?

The three severe social anxiety induced panic attacks before going really were worth it huh.. my guardian promised they'll be with me just then I agreed to go, only for them to drop me at the gates and drive off to park and the nurse at the reception plucked me to register and prevented anyone from coming with me but my younger sib.. I had to do the talking and everything I dreaded by myself, yet again.. ofc half the time I didn't know what she was saying and I only guessed what she wanted. Ofc x2 with my freakish smile plastered on my face unable to change it or realized I was till my sib took pics of me, instead of idk looking sickly I was smiling .. I hate it so much.. I hate to look like the ppl pleaser I am..

Coming back it was nice, guardians stopped yelling and cussing around me, checked on me, treated me nicely in ways I never felt before, got me pizza.. they still managed to "calmly" ask me to change my outfit, ya know, the thing i wear below the cloak that no one can see, which I did half consciously..

I think I was worrying over the limits and the fighting didn't help, I has zero capacity. Also, us being in this nice uncomfortable house, rented for 6 months, that we can't afford to pay again and all. Nd me feeling I'm not producing enough art, or not getting enough commissions to make a difference, barely enough to just pay for shi for myself.. feeling there's no more joy in this life as it seems only to get worse everywhere, saddening me to no end..

but I'm trying to relax..

I've closed my commissions nd spent my last buck on some plush fabric so I can make a plushie, the next joy source I have besides drawing, cuz I need to rest from it too, body tens from my face, to my ribs.. whatever happen happen

Spending time in bed, playing random shi with sibs

Coming here, reading your messages nd inbox made me well up in tears, thank u so much for your words, you have no idea how it means to me and its effects of making me feel alive nd hopeful nd knowing I'm not alone

I wish you all the best my dears, love u lots 💛🙏🫂 ..

5.7.2022, 8 p.m. in bed prompted to cry all bottled tears heh

#text #personal #drawing journey

[elvenking42]

you should answer ALL of those asks in the post

Oh my god ok HAHA get ready for a wall of text then

1. who is/are your comfort character(s)?

If you've been following me long enough you start to see trends. I've always liked Luigi so he's probably the most popular character on this blog. Ganondorf is quickly climbing the ranks somehow.

2. lighter or matches?

Lighter for function, matches for fun :D

3. do you leave the window open at night?

I've tried it in some summer months but all it does is leave the air cold and wet when I wake up, I'm not super into it. But the nighttime breeze is lovely

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

I wouldn't be surprised if I came across the Nain Rouge. Although I'd be a little nervous considering he's a harbinger of bad luck

5. what color are your eyes?

A sort of greyish-blue

6. why did you do that?

I thought it was funny :3c

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

Hair-ties by a mile. Sorry to scrunchie fans

8. how many water bottles are in your room right now?

There's like three empty water glasses on my desk right now I really should clear them out

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

Hot coffee for sure. Cold coffee blends are fine, but half the time I drink coffee at all is for the warmth

10. would you slaughter the rich?

I could probably use a hand

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

Drawing :3c I've been having a lot of fun doing some video editing in my personal time too hehe.

12. what kind of day is it?

Honestly it's been pretty awful. I couldn't sleep last night so I ended up sleeping in super late and missed the chance to call my doctor's office and schedule an appointment like I was planning. I got a letter in the mail summoning me for jury duty and had a little anxiety attack about it. And then later I tried to take out some cash at the bank and my card got declined. At this point I'm just hunkering down at my desk trying to get myself to relax

13. when was the last time you ate?

I had some chips like an hour ago.

14. do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

Of course! But my favorite part of rain is the air pressure right before a storm

15. are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

Nah, that doesn't interest me

16. can you drive?

No, ironically this was part of the anxiety attack mentioned previously

17. are you farsighted or nearsighted?

Nearsighted

18. what hair products do you use?

I use a really standard shampoo and conditioner. But I use a special wash for my beard specifically

19. imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

Yeah! I'm not great at it but I'll try my best

20. do you say soda or pop?

Pop, this is Michigan!

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

I answered this one previously :D

22. what type of person are you?

I'm trying to get better

23. how do you feel about chilly weather?

I like it! I can tell winter is around the corner and I'm very excited to bundle up. Unfortunately it's also getting dry and my skin is terrible

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

I'm not too sure how we got up there, I hope you brought a blanket, it's cold out!

25. perfume/body spray or lotion?

Lotion! But perfume every once in awhile

26. a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

Some point in the future when I'm living on my own and I've got a stable job and a comfortable home and I can invite my friends over for parties where we all bring a dish and spend the evening playing party games and talking about the nice things in our lives and when everyone leaves for the night I can send them all home with some snacks and a hug. Manifesting it.

27. about how many hours of sleep did you get?

I got 7 hours last night, unfortunately that was between 10am and 5pm so it was godawful

28. do you wear a mask?

Yea! I still wear a mask out in public. I only remove it if I'm eating or in private company with people. It's a little frighting that I'm always in the minority though

29.how do you like your shower water?

Scalding

30. is there dishes in your room?

See number 8

31. what type of music keeps you grounded?

I always return back to oldies when I don't know where else to go. I like familiar lyrics and retro melodies

32. do you have a favorite towel?

Not really

33. the last adventure you’ve been on?

I went to a Dia de los Muertos event last night being hosted by a restaurant I frequent. It was actually super fun, they had love music and vendors selling things. I actually ran into an old coworker while I was there and got to catch up with him. I kept ordering spiked hot coffee because it was outdoors and the drinks were yummy but unfortunately 3 coffees worth of caffeine made it hard to fall asleep

34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

This one

35. what’s your timezone?

EST

36. how many times have you changed your url?

Actually never

37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

Some of my buddies from highschool. I love them dearly 💕

38. a soap bar that smells good?

Go for a Lavender/mint blend

39. do you use lip balm?

Not as much as I should

40. did you have any snacks today?

Had some goldfish

41. how do you take your coffee?

With creamer

42. an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

Twitter unfortunately.

43.what’s your take on spicy foods?

I like it! Im a little sensitive tho so I take it on the mild side

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Elon musk is a dead man

45 . can you remember what happened yesterday?

See 33

46. favorite holiday film?

Scrooged is so rewatchable for me

47. what was the last message you sent?

"I know what you are..."

48. when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

I think my mom let me sip her wine when I was like 8. I didn't like it very much so I didn't try drinking until I was 20

49. can you skip rocks?

Sometimes!

50. can i tag you in random stuff?

Sure!

#thanks for the ask #holy shit #sorry for the giant wall of text #ask #ask game

[andswarwrites]

Hospitality doesn't always have to be structured, planned weeks in advance.  If we're making plans with friends who have busy schedules, of course it might need to be marked far down the calendar, and the larger the group, the further down the calendar the plans will fall.  I'm just saying, asking a friend to come over impulsively, or accompany you for a walk in the park, or go for a coffee or a bite to eat, for an ambivert, these are some of the best options, because when you ask to spend time with your friends on the same day, this means you actually feel sociable enough to enjoy the experience.

An ambivert is a person who balances between introverted and extroverted traits.  I feel like an introvert most of the time, which is why when social situations come up, no matter how much I've been looking forward to them, if they get canceled, I feel a sense of relief.  It may be combined with disappointment, but the disappointment is on the surface, and deep underneath it, there's the sense of a weight lifted.  That doesn't happen with impromptu plans.  Maybe because you don't have time to overthink.

On the other hand, I enjoy making plans on behalf of my daughter.  During the winter months, I organized an arts and crafts afternoon for N- and a few of her friends.  One of her friends lives pretty far away, so we organized a sleepover with her, and the rest of the girls joined us around 2:00 PM.  I had prepared a gift bag for each of them with paint, a small canvas, and an assortment of activities for them.  We also had baked treats and pink lemonade.

I'm planning to repeat the experience next month; N- noticed a lot of wooden mushrooms of varying styles and sizes on Amazon, and I saw a package of different colored and textured mosses, so an idea formed in my mind: the girls can paint the mushrooms, make flowers out of clay, decorate their own little plant pot, and each bring their creation home with them.  I think it would be reasonable to organize an afternoon of arts and crafts every three months or so, one for every season of the year.

Hospitality is a little like gift-giving.  You're not thinking about yourself as you plan for it, you're thinking about the other person, how to make them happy.  When guests are coming over I like to make sure I have an assortment of beverage flavors to offer, and I like to plan a menu that is easy to prepare so I can get out of the kitchen quickly and enjoy the association with my friends.  If they offer to bring something, I usually ask them to think of dessert, because that is not my forte.

I try to make plans every second weekend, and leave the weekend in between to spend with family only.  Last month we had three or four weekends with plans, and it wore me out completely.  When I was younger I wanted to be superhuman, so I didn't recognize my limitations.  Well, I simply have to recognize them now, because if I don’t it starts with a slap in the face and quickly escalates from there.  It used to be frustrating to see other people with more active and full calendars than me, but I've come to realize I simply live life differently.

There is nothing wrong with needing rest.  Possibly because it's a need?  Our body requires care.  We need to breathe, we need to eat, we need to drink, expel waste, sleep.  But more than just sleep, we need to rest.  That may need we need to relax and unwind.  For some of us that means a twenty minute shower that uses up all the hot water, to others it’s a soak in the tub with a heavenly-scented bath bomb, to still others it's reading a novel by your favorite author, or maybe binge watching a series on your favorite streaming service.  For me, it could be any one of the aforementioned things, depending on factors.

Part of self care is figuring out when you need to push yourself into doing something for others and when you really need to recognize that you can't do anymore.  If your entire world revolves around you, you cannot be happy.  Putting others' needs ahead of your own is noble, and yet you need to realize that you have needs as well.  Those needs are not extravagant.  They are needs, put simply.  When you're thirsty, is there anything wrong with drinking a glass of water?

I keep thinking that in life what I most often seek is balance.  Every time I think I've gotten the hang of one area in life, another starts to slip and I need to address it.  I feel like I'm riding a tiny unicycle on a tightrope over a waterfall while twirling plates on the end of sticks and balancing a ball on my nose. 

When I look back at all the pictures in my phone, of smiling faces, whether they're just of me and S- and N-, or they're of our friends and family, I realize that those moments make the days in life like pearls on a string.  Every one has value, everyone is treasured.  And think about it, isn't a gift valuable when it cost the giver something?  It costs my energy to be in a social setting.  And I do it anyway, because I want to do it.  But I'm going to spend a few hours recharging afterwards.  Either in sweats or pajamas.

#hospitality #social life #introvert problems