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captkirkland · 3 years

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I'd love to hear all of your headcanons about Arthur's magic! The idea that all the other brothers have it too but don't tell him amuses me. I'm curious as to who they got it from, if it's genetic. I love all of your headcanons on them so far!

-N

omfg, don’t even look at me but...

okay so a lot of his spells ARE Harry Potter based that he uses more often today, but only because it simplifies things and makes them easier to keep track of. it’s like keeping a word bank of spells rather than trying to think of every synonym of a word, and it usually gets the job done without tiring him any. his wand, I also feel, is unnecessary but serves a similar function. to make magic easier, as it makes a place of singular output for him instead of trying to channel it through his arms, the ground, or what have you. however, he absolutely can do magic without any of these things. he could conjure up a spell circle on the ground, on walls, and channel it up through his body. these types of spells tend to be more tiring to use, but they’re a lot stronger. when it comes to the arcane, he’s knowledgeable in a way others aren’t usually. the man studies magic in his basement where he knows others won’t be able to know he’s doing that as much as he does, because he never stopped being a witch. Let’s be real. (“am i catholic or protestant.. god i don’t know” and then he turns around and puts out water during a full moon/lets crystals rest on the window sill/puts out offerings for the different spirits that reside around his home. you’re a witch arthur. you’re fucking pagan my guy. he knows this and will not tell anyone outside of his close circle, but it’s obvious anyway)

BUT, an interesting specific I like to write is that.. because of circumstances, using too much magic takes a toll on his body. He’s incredibly powerful, like that’s not a joke, dude is absolutely batshit when it comes to how strong he is, but even people like that have limits. Once he’s started pushing himself a bit hard, senses start to leave because of how much he’s begun to drain himself, and he’s run out of energy, because all things come in equivalence. The first to go for Arthur? His vision. It gets blurry and he needs glasses, but if he pushes himself too hard, he’ll start to go blind. Deafness follows, and then so on and so forth. cough. hetaoni. cough. i dare not utter the words... but yes. his brothers also have these abilities, and use it in frequent, but they hide it from Arthur in the weirdest, funniest ways. @heroicsmiles writes for Seamus/Ireland, and they so often have him do Gandalf-style smoking out of the end of his pipe, like butterflies and shit. And just DENIES it when Arthur questions that, like flat out. It’s absolutely hilarious? Like this unicorn is trotting around in the air and he’s just claiming he’s that good at smoking. @howloni writes for Taliesin/Wales and he’s got a little red dragon that sits on their shoulder all the time. She’s a pet dragon that he’s had forever, but every time Arthur brings her up, Taliesin acts like the dude’s seeing things. He deserves it a little, but god it makes for really funny interactions between the group. Alistair/Scotland is constantly keeping this ball rolling by making banter about it, or supporting whoever it is that’s starting the ordeal just because its so funny, and Arthur gets PRESSED about it. @feliciohno does Cullen/Northern Ireland and I honestly want to figure out more how he deals with that, but so far we’ve come up with the idea that he can see these things and doesn’t really know why they pick on Arthur as much as they do when it comes to that because he’s so young. However, he will participate just as much if not more eagerly than they do when the other brothers are in the room. It’s household culture at this point, the ongoing joke. It’s been a couple thousand years and more and it’ll keep on being more. As you can see I’d die for this family, and another one of my friends has taken up interest in figuring out Cornwall?? So you all may be getting little Cornwall tingz in the future

#hetalia #iggy writes #iggy rambles #iggy responds #hws england #hws ireland #hws scotland #hws Northern Ireland #hws Wales #kirkland brothers #anonymous #n

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uppercuts-and-undercuts · 4 years

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Harry Hart, Eggsy Unwin, and Hartwin Fangirl/Rant/Headcanon dump

I seriously have so many feelings about these two, I don’t even know where to start. I’m talking full-on emotionally compromised. I can’t even. I am unable to can. Ever since I watched TSS, I’ve been reading and re-reading everything I could get my hands on. Even things that really aren’t my usual preferences. I’ve read everything from time-travel AUs, to fics with kinks I absolutely don’t have (and ones I absolutely do have), ones where Harry is a dragon, or Eggsy gets temporarily turned into a dog... angels/demons, A/B/O, bakery AUs, coffee shop AUs, same age!AUs, soulmates, serial killers, vampires, domestic, PWP, fluff, and essentially every trope I can think of - and probably a good few I can’t even remember. The point is? I love both of these dorks, and Hartwin.

I even force myself to keep reading when things descend into heavier angst than I expected. Too much angst leaves me a total mess. Hence, I try to stay away from anything with tags indicating an enormously bumpy ride. That being said, I’ve fought through a fair few heavy angst pieces, partially because they’re so well written, and partially because I’ve been invested enough to want to see everything work out. Believe me when I say I avoid the ‘unhappy ending’ and ‘major character death’ tags like the fucking plague (unless the MCD tag is accompanied by another tag like ‘but not really’, or ‘temporary’).

But what gets me the most about them, and Hartwin? The many different characterisations all these authors have given them, separately and as a couple, and the fact that they (mostly) just work. Some of them are contradictory, technically. But if you’ve got enough imagination, most of them even work together, even the seemingly ‘opposite’ ones. Some give you the fuzzies, some leave you fanning yourself, and some spark loads of daydreams. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t have a favourite characterisation, or even a complete list of favourite characterisations, because there’s too much! However! I’m going to rant giddily about some for a bit, because I have literally no friends.

Harry Hart:

Brutal elegance in a gorgeous suit

Sarcasm and polite disdain hiding a heart of gold

Morally dubious and manipulative

Daddy AF

Dapper gentleman who says ‘fuck’ a lot

Tall, dark, handsome, and will fuck you up without breaking a sweat

Sex on long legs

Loves all dogs, no matter what size, but weak for the tiny ones

Smoother than smooth

Awkward dork

Has no time for your classist bullshit

Actual tailor

Soft gent with so much love to give

Stoic gent who has no interest in relationships - until a cheeky chav with a heart of gold saunters into his life

King Harry

Makes love gently, coaxing, lovingly

Fucks like he’s being paid for it

Like, seriously, fucks

King of dirty talk

Gently murmuring praise

Loves fiercely

Incredibly possessive, and not even slightly ashamed of it

Repentant dirty old man

Unrepentant dirty old man

Certified Little Shit(™)

Gives zero fucks

Harry Hart-breaker

Super spy

Harry Fucking Hart

Above all, completely gone for Eggsy Unwin

Eggsy Unwin:

Vulnerable smol egg

Heart of gold

Smart-mouthed brat

Experienced street scrapper

Thicc AF

Bloodied knuckles and bleeding heart

Way smarter than people assume

Would literally die and kill for the people he cares about

Friend to animals everywhere - literally a Disney princess

Don’t talk shit about JB, he’ll defend his wheezy baby to the death

Just wants to be loved

Not afraid to tell it like it is - loudly, bluntly, and unashamed

Will ram that silver spoon even further up your arse, if you aren’t careful

Certified Little Shit(™) in training

Plays the idiot so everyone underestimates him

Just as at ease in a bulletproof bespoke suit as he is in trackies and trainers

Just wants to be loved

Prince of parkour

A total nurturer, just wants to take care of the people he loves

Unexpected virgin

Fucks like a champion

Keeps his heart behind heavily fortified walls - until a handsome gentleman in a bespoke suit beats the shit out of his tormentors

Never asks for anything for himself, yet sees Harry and wants

Actually very well read, that you very much

Sugar baby, and proud

Independent and works his ass off to stay that way

Hidden talents - archery, ballroom dancing, circus skills, etc.

Weak for soft older men

Eggsy Unwin, bitches

Head over heels for Harry Hart

As a couple

Disgustingly in love

Domestic husbands

Murder husbands

Both secretly spies

Harry being just as likely to kiss Eggsy’s hand as he is to rim him into next week

Eggsy constantly gets eyed-up by women and (worse, in Harry’s mind) other men. Harry is a jealous little shit, and loves to rub in the fact that Eggsy is completely oblivious to his admirers. Eggsy, of course, is oblivious to his admirers because he’s far too busy admiring Harry

When Harry gets jealous, he’s partial to getting Eggsy into bed (or over his desk, or against a wall, or even on the floor) and fucking him so good he cries. If Eggsy eventually realises what causes those occurrences, it’s only to his benefit.

Eggsy would be jealous over all the people who can’t help but admire Harry, if not for two facts. Firstly, that while he’s oblivious when people are giving him the eye, he’s definitely observant enough to realise that it’s what sets Harry off. Secondly, Harry is so obviously and completely devoted to him that it would be pointless to feel jealous. Why should he worry when he can feel Harry’s big hand settled warmly against the small of his back, brown eyes gazing down at him adoringly, and the smile that he only ever gives Eggsy on his lips?

Harry can’t help but give Eggsy pet names. It began when he first started to become fond of Eggsy it began. My boy, dear boy. Darling boy, eventually. And then, as Eggsy’s cheeky little thieving fingers began reaching out to steal his heart, they came thick and fast. My dear, dearest, darling, sweetling, my love.

Eggsy wasn’t one for using pet names, but he loved when Harry used them for him. For Eggsy, nicknaming was something he did without thought, usually to annoy or amuse. Even Merlin wasn’t safe from his sometimes regrettable attempts at nicknames, Gandalf and Dumbledore being Eggsy’s favourites. But his other half, the love of his life, only had one name Eggsy called him. Because he was Harry. and to Eggsy, Harry meant all the love in his heart, with every breath in his body

Everyone assumes Harry will be the sensible, restrained one of the two. Partially because of their age difference, partially because he always just looks so put together - of course he’d me the more mature. They assume incorrectly. Eggsy is surprisingly good at organising and doing what needs to be done, and can absolutely be serious when he needs/wants to be. Harry, obviously, can’t resist teasing him and making his life difficult during those times. He also finds it hilarious when Eggsy tells him off in front of people who don’t already know their personalities and dynamic

Harry spoils Eggsy whenever the boy lets him. Attention, affection, baths together, cooking for him, bringing him flowers, buying him things, trips and holidays, mind-blowing sex, everything he can think of. Eggsy never asks for anything at all, but Harry would never deny him anything if he did. Harry honestly just wants to give him the world anyway. He would tear the stars from the sky, if he thought Eggsy would like them.

#harry hart #eggsy unwin #harry hart/eggsy unwin #harry hart x eggsy unwin #hartwin #Kingsman #Kingsman: The Secret Service #headcanons #fangirl #rant

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koalas-koalas-everywhere · 5 years

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Live-blogging The Hobbit

Since I said I’d talk about how much I love Bilbo.

Also, live-blogging might be a generous description. A report from the brim every few chapters, maybe.

Might be annoying to my current followers, but they’d do well to remember this is how I got most of them, even if the live-blogging was for a different fandom.

Now, to start! The first two chapters!

An Unexpected Party

The very first page, with the description of Bag End, had me doing a lot of double takes, mostly because of things I already thought I knew because of, you know, osmosis, so it went a bit like:

“the hobbit was fond of visitors” ????? Didn’t Bilbo use the One Ring specifically to avoid unwanted visitors?

However big you thought Bag End was, you’ll have to guess again. The most generous illustration probably got the size wrong. It not only has multiple bedrooms (not enough for all of the dwarves, though), it has wardrobes (rooms dedicated to clothes), and kitchens, and dining rooms.

“most Bagginses were rich” Clearly the best use for their money would have been to redistribute it, but are you trying to tell me some of them weren’t and the rest just said it was none of their business?

The fact that the Bagginses are described as reliable/predictable and Bungo doesn’t get much personal description while Belladonna, of the Took clan, outstanding/odd, does get further insight into her place in her family and is described as both famous and remarkable? *kisses fingers like chef*

Like, up till now, the only description he personally gets is, like, “Bungo, that was Bilbo’s father, built the most luxurious hobbit-hole for her (and partly with her money)” and it’s still a description of Belladonna because the paragraph’s about her still, you can tell because, even though in the last sentence Bungo was the subject, Bilbo is still referred as “her” son.

Also fitting because Bilbo’s arc is about accepting his heritage from both parts of his family, and we’re about to get into how much of a Baggins he is, so extra emphasis into the Took side will be good for the next few chapters.

So, it says Gandalf last visited before the Old Took died, which was in S.R. 1320, when Bilbo was 30, a.k.a. 20 years before. While Gandalf is definitely remarkable enough, given the time lapse, I can forgive Bilbo for forgetting about his appearance. My reasons are that my own memory begins to get blurry about faces some five minutes after someone’s gone out of my sight.

“‘Good Morning!’ said Bilbo, and he meant it.” [to Gandalf]“‘All of them at once,” said Bilbo. “[...] If you have a pipe about you, sit down and have a fill of mine! [tobacco]’” and I’m going to skip a bit here, [to Dwalin] “‘I am just about to take tea; pray come and have some with me.’ A little stiff perhaps, but he meant it kindly.” Just... he’s so nice? Often in interpretations of the Shire and of Bilbo himself, when hobbits are nice it’s a matter of politeness for its own sake, as a ritual, but he’s so earnest? It’s really politeness as a kindness, as it should be. The only times this isn’t the case is when, after Gandalf reveals he’s looking for a fellow adventurer, when he just shit-talks adventures and looks at his mail hoping Gandalf will just go away instead of telling him himself... until he gets tired and does so. Then later when he gathers from Balin that a lot of people might be showing up and you can sense some reluctance in his decision to go without, and a focus on duty. And last as the night goes on and the dwarves keep being rude af.

Also, I once saw someone wonder why Gandalf would mention Belladonna in the movie when he supposedly knew the Old Took, and someone said it was just to make the connection more direct, son->mother, instead of son->mother->grandfather. Well,

[Picture of my book, relevant quote: “To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took’s son; as if I was selling buttons at the door!”. End description]

Read ‘em and weep.

A funny thing about the book is the narration. It’s supposed to be Bilbo’s account, just compiled by Tolkien, right? So, Bilbo’s descriptions, meaning how he is described, are noteworthy. Admittedly, I don’t read autobiographies, so I don’t know what’s a common way to describe yourself in third person, but this narrator is kinda... distant from Bilbo? In that you don’t get the sense he’s writing the story. He’s at once roasted relentlessly and praised, mocked and defended. All in all it’s an affectionate voice, although one that feels the need to go “listen, I know how this all looks and that you doubt him now (and honestly? same), but he’s a pretty cool guy, once you get to know him.”

“Bless me, life used to be quite inter-- I mean, you used to upset things badly in these parts once upon a time.” Lmao

“Very amusing for me, very good for you” - Gandalf about sending Bilbo to his death.

Bilbo, to Gandalf: “Come tomorrow!”

Bilbo, to himself: “what”

Himself, to Bilbo: “I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.”

Strange dwarf (with a blue beard?): *basically pushes his way into Bilbo’s house*. Bilbo: ............... wanna eat?

“The poor little hobbit sat down in the hall and put his head in his hands, and wondered what had happened, and what was going to happen, and whether they would all stay to supper.” Hero. Those are appropriate priorities. Meanwhile, there’s people waiting for him to open the door lmao.

*banging at Bag End’s door with a stick instead of ringing the bell*

Bilbo: who’s the fucking beast.

“Bilbo sat on a stool by the fireside, nibbling at a biscuit (his appetite was quite taken away), trying to look as if this was all perfectly ordinary and not in the least an adventure.” They [the Valar] can’t see you if you don’t move.

I like how “Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold” is about both the gold and treasure and the sheer history, represented by song. Yes, the lyrics are mostly about the treasure, but the book itself says it can barely be called a song without the music. The dwarves’ work is talked about without equating it with their craft, but more as a cultural activity that builds identity, again, like songs. They’re mentioned both in the context of being sung deep in the mountain, only for dwarves ears. This comes to a head later, when the last line says “to win our harps and gold from him!” From this, I’ve reached the conclusion that dwarves don’t just want the Mountain for the economic benefits, but because of the sense of cultural identity, represented by songs and harps, that they lost along with Erebor. I’m sure this isn’t surprising in general, or a new reading of dwarves in general, or even a new reading of the song in particular, but I just wanted to put it out there.

I like how immersed in, well, everything Bilbo has been up to now. I get this feeling of constant movement in the inside from him. Every smoke ring fascinates him, and every suggestion of adventure appalls him, and everything that happens is the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to him, not (just) because of his (sometimes, this doesn’t happen that much) exaggerated reactions, but the time he takes to tell us his feelings and thoughts about things.

Also, him being snapped out of his adventurous daze by a sudden fear for his home (comfort), A+ Baggins/Took conflict.

“I want these dwarves to think I could fuck someone up, which is made all the easier by my desire to fuck them up”

“As soon as I saw your funny faces in the door-step, I had my doubts.” Bilbo that’s racist.

Gandalf is like that meme of the driver who’s threatening to turn the car around because his children are being rowdy, only instead he insists he will not turn the car around no matter how much they beg.

I don’t know if this is the I’ve Watched The Movie Where He Was A Main Character Syndrome talking, but I’m feeling much more compassionate towards Thotin this time around.

I noticed what I’d written the moment I finished the word, but this is too fucking hilarious to correct.

Bilbo: “uhh, five feet high is pretty noticeable for a door”

Tolkien: you’ll have to forgive him, he was born with dumb bitch disease. The buffoon. The absolute animal.

Also, “He loved maps, and in his hall, there hung a large one of the Country Round with all his favourite walks marked in it with red ink.” In this house we love one (1) nerd.

Thorin: *bitches*

Bilbo: Not in my house. *bitches harder*

Thorin: you fucking hayseed.

Bilbo: prob, bob?

Roast Mutton

I commend Bilbo for actually going - if I had to run for 15 minutes they’d still be waiting for me.

Did Gandalf bring Bilbo an actual bag or did he just decide pipe weed and handkerchiefs were the only thing he’d need for a five month minimum journey.

If he has time to complain about it, he also has time to sew himself some clothes out of the kerchiefs ig

“[Gandalf] had eaten most, talked most, and laughed most. But now he was simply not there at all!” Gandalf you ass.

“Dwarves can make fire almost anywhere out of almost anything” this has so much comedic potential.

I relate to Bilbo because I always catch on to the fact that I’m supposed to be lying way too late.

Kinda reminds me of that post about the fae who’ve learned how to tell the truth in a very specific way so it will be misunderstood being flabbergasted by someone who just comes up to them and lies.

Bilbo: *is caught lying*

Trolls:

Bill said burrahobbit rights!

Dwarves:

Gotta hand it to Tolkien, though, Bilbo does have dumb bitch disease.

I love how Sting is supposed to be just as special as Orcrist and Glamdring, yet the narration makes such a small deal of it. It’s clear from the start it’s of the same make as them because, although it’s not mentioned along with them at first (which makes sense, since it’s sheath’s not as pretty, Thorin and Gandalf’s taking of the swords isn’t even separated from Bilbo’s by a stop, just a semicolon, yet it doesn’t get a second though.

I like how in the movie it’s all Gandalf: “Imladris” Bilbo: *delighted gasp* “Rivendell” while in the book it’s Gandalf: “Rivendell” Bilbo: “Where’s that?” Gandalf: “Don’t interrupt!”

So that’s that! Don’t know if I should stick to doing it like this, every two or so chapters, or every chapter as soon as I finish, or try to do my impressions as I go and then publish them when I’m done, because this actually took me longer than I thought it would.

#The Hobbit #liveblogging #Bilbo Baggins #Gandalf #Thorin Oakenshield III #although not much

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