#all valid options it all depends on what mood i'm in

[stars-and-blackholes]

SO MUCH FOR STARDUST (THE TRACK) IS ABOUT MANIA [ANALYSIS]

LYRICS

“I'm in a winter mood, dreaming of spring now”: Winter as a reflection of how negative and cold Pete feels (towards himself and the industry) as a result of the reception of MANIA. He’s dreaming of a better time where he can start anew (spring as a symbol for birth/new things) away from all of the negativity MANIA generated from its poor reception. MANIA came out during Winter. So Much (for) Stardust came out during Spring.

“I'm burning myself down”: Shows how Pete felt like he had to start over after MANIA and can explain why SMFS sounds so different from MANIA. He didn’t want to make the same ‘mistakes’ (we love MANIA here this is from his POV). Can also represent his negative self talk as a result of the album flopping because he gets his worth from external validation (will he touched on in later lyrics)

“I feel like something bad has stretched out over and over again// Until I'm creased and I'm about to break down the middle// Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle, yeah”: Here Pete reflects on the damage that has been done to him. He feels drained after having to call on his negative emotions to make art as many times as he has (over and over referring to the repetitive nature of this) and it's so bad to the point he feels like he’s going to break. He’s tired of having to write about negative stuff and so when he was creating MANIA, he was excited that a lot of the songs weren’t as serious and more fun. He was probably crushed when they weren’t received well because 1) vulnerable because he was trying something new and was already insecure 2) felt like once again he had to be like “old FOB” to be liked which has been a constant struggle of the band 3) was excited to put out an album that wasn’t so negative that wouldn’t drain him as much since he didn’t have to call on so many negative emotions to create the album “Right down the middle'' can also signify how there are two parts of him: one part of him who wants to make authentic art that’s whatever he’s feeling at the time which isn’t as angsty anymore because he’s better now and another part who wants to go with what’s popular (which is his angsty stuff) because he’s dependent on external validation. He feels pulled in two opposing directions. In general these lyrics speak on the toll his art has taken on him and can represent pre versus post hiatus which is another debate within the fanbase often about which is better.

“The stars are the same as ever”: referring to how the industry (despite changing) generally stays the same which is added pressure for FOB to not change their sound. Which I think makes sense because with FOB specifically, there’s been ongoing talk for ages about how people want them to remain the same.

“I don't have the guts to keep it together”: Pete being vulnerable and admitting the negative backlash has affected him more than he lets on. I think a lot of artists try to put on a facade like they don’t care about negative reviews, but at the end of the day it sucks when people don’t like your work. Could also refer to how sometimes he wants to resort to OG Fall Out Boy because he ‘doesn’t have the guts’ to try anything experimental again like MANIA after how it was received

“Stuck in the permafrost”: Pete feeling like he’s not allowed to change. Like he has to maintain this image of a sad emo guy forever because that’s what he was known for and that’s what essentially got him popular.

“Life is just a game, maybe// I'm stuck in a lonely loop, my baby”: Life to him in the music industry at times feels like a game to maintain popularity while also keeping authentic to himself. It feels like he’s in this loop of oscillating between those two options, while also in general feeling lonely because of MANIA’s reception. He feels like the industry that at one time loved him, rejected him during MANIA which leads to him feeling lonely

“We thought we had it all, thought we had it all”: Pete’s confidence that MANIA would be received well because of how well their other albums had been received. He thought they had it all and MANIA doing as poorly as it did shattered that illusion and threw Pete into a spiral. He didn’t want to make another album where that happened and his confidence around being able to succeed is shaken and explains why SMFS (the album) has a lot of moments of anxiety. The repetition of the phrase “thought we had it all” reflects this mental spiral. The general tone of this song sounds desperate/dramatic as well which reflects Pete’s state of feeling caught off guard, panicked, and hurt

“I need the sound of crowds or I can't fall asleep at night”: Pete's reflection on the effects of fame. He feels like he needs that validation to be at ease because he's dependent on external validation as many creatives are. It shows how he was affected by the poor reception of MANIA. Led to sleepless nights and him wanting to do better to win people back over. He needs that external validation even though he’s tried to convince himself he doesn’t

“I can't take my thoughts and I// Can't take my thoughts and I am awake”: Since he didn’t get that praise for MANIA, there are no crowds and therefore can’t fall asleep. Part of the reason he likes the crowds/praise is that it drowns out the voices in his head that say he’s a failure and that his work sucks. His negative thoughts are too overwhelming. In a way this song is almost meta because he’s using his pain that came from the poor reception of MANIA to write about how using his pain over and over in his work has damaged him and put him into a box, perhaps as an effort to break out of that cycle

“Another year of possibilities left unwrapped// Like it's the day right after Christmas past”: Possibilities to start anew after MANIA, in a way a callback to the spring line. It also calls back to FUTCT (line in Our Lawyer that says “the ribbon on my wrist says do not open before christmas”). Significant because FUTCT is often considered the best/peak FOB by a lot of people. A lot of people have said that So Much (for) Stardust sounds “the most like old FOB” so this line could be confirmation by Pete that they did try to return to their old sound for this album (which he knows will be more popular than MANIA). It can also explain the concept of 8 balls and why we’re getting the deepest cuts we have more so than past tours. They know that is what the fans want and will assure the return of crowds/popularity. It’s a way of rewarding the fans that stuck around despite the poor reception of MANIA. These 8 balls are for us. Pete was probably worried that with how negative people thought of the album, they would potentially lose their diehards too. But we stayed. Also wanna add that the backlash of MANIA probably reminds him of the reception of Folie which scared him even more when MANIA was getting shit on. Going through it twice is painful. I think choosing Folie songs for 8 balls shows them as a band reclaiming their history. Playing Folie songs as the crowd screams and cheers loudly is a way for them to reclaim their history where in the past they would get booed for doing Folie and so they didn’t want to play anything from that. The 8 balls show how far they’ve come!!! As people have said So much for tourdust in many ways is their healing tour)

“And I'm pretty positive my pain isn't cool enough, pain isn't cool enough”: Pete feeling like his pain isn't seen as cool enough anymore because he’s written about it so many times (can be a callback to Get Busy aka another reference to the old music with the opening line of “this has been said so many times that i'm not sure if it matters” and also a callback to shipped gold standard with the line “before it all becomes the same old song”). In general, FOB’s music has this recurring idea of Pete rehashing negative emotions to the point of wallowing which makes sense in the genre of emo. It could very well be a critique of the entire genre itself that becomes even more potent when he’s much older. Also can speak on the idea of how in the industry, you have to seem shiny and new so people don’t get bored while also not changing because people hate when artists change (once again tying into the paradox from earlier)

“Like a sledgehammer to a disco ball// Crushing all my low, low, low, low, ache it 'til you make it// Ache it 'til you make it”: Reinventing himself with SMFS. ‘Low low low’ refers to the poor reception of MANIA or the idea of him being a disco ball and the music industry/audience being the sledgehammer that crushed him and broke him. “Ache it till you make it” (a play on the popular phrase) speaks on Pete's experience of how he's used a lot of his misery in song writing and that's how he made it in the industry

“I think I've been going through it// And I've been putting your name to it”: Pete going through it as a result of the poor album reception and blaming the music industry and those who didn’t receive the album well. Pete feels betrayed which once again reflects in the hurt tone of the song

“In another life you were my babe// In another life you were the sunshine of my lifetime”: Pete reflecting on what MANIA could’ve been if it had been received better/released at another time (can directly link to MANIA because one of the tracks of MANIA is Sunshine Riptide)

“What would trade the pain for? I'm not sure”: Pete contemplating the price of fame and being unsure if fame is worth sacrificing his authenticity as an artist as well as having to use his vulnerabilities and painful emotions in order to succeed. Would he trade the pain of his emotions to maintain relevance? He’s not sure. Bit of a lose-lose situation

“I used to be a real go-getter// I used to think it'd all get better”: how Pete thought being dependent on external validation as well as doubtful of his capabilities as a lyricist would subside over time but realizing that no matter what, that doubt doesn’t go away. Imposter syndrome made worse by the poor reception of MANIA sent him into a spiral which is reflected in this song. Alludes to how Pete thought he could change throughout his career but he is now pigeonholed and can't express how he wants to. Because he wasn't always famous, he used to be more optimistic before fame became an aggressive cycle and he became more jaded, especially once he experienced the rejection of MANIA.

At the end of the song, there is a crowd saying “So much for stardust// We thought we had it all, thought we had it all” lyrics along with Patrick. This signifies that as a result of SMFS (the album), Pete is predicting that since they returned to something more reminiscent of their older sound, they will have won people back over (which is true… a lot of comments towards SMFS are gleeful about how happy they are that ‘old FOB is back’). The crowd goes until the sound fades, which shows that Pete is able to fall asleep again. The silence and the track ending represents him finally asleep. The thoughts are silenced. The external validation is back. But was it worth it? Was it worth the pain? Overall, this song is reflective and existential about Pete’s experience in Fall Out Boy and his creative process and the toll it's taken. Listening to this song on repeat reflects the loop line of the song and reflects the repetitive issue at the core of Fall Out Boy’s career. Over the course of their career, the issue of Fall Out Boy and their sound has been a prominent one. They’ve had to fight for their right to grow and change as a band. SMFS (the track) shows the aggressive cycle of fame/creation and how oftentimes creatives are chewed up and spit out by the same industry they give their life and livelihood to. They’re frequently caught in dilemmas of wanting to be popular while also wanting to stay true to themselves. Sometimes those two goals align, but other times they don’t and one must choose. This song is Pete’s answer to the question.

#who wants some good fucking food #fall out boy #fob #analysis #song analysis #fob analysis #mania #so much for stardust #this took me two hours #basically I had a rudimentary analysis for this song when I first heard #where I came to the conclusion it was about mania #and tonight I analyzed it from that lens

[hexhomos]

hey since reading your advice I’ve taken a small step into writing long-form fics (been writing one shots for years). the tip about writing daily while changing the font color has literally been lifechanging, I think I wrote like 10k this week.

but…

I feel like I never know when to call it on a chapter/I keep trying to write each chapter like a one shot and that’s obviously not how longer pieces of narrative fiction work. do you have any tips on keeping the mood going through a longer work or on pacing in general?

OK SO IN ONE HAND: AWESOME AWESOME I LOVE TO HEAR IT may you keep churning on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now about chapter timing. This is the part where I will admit that's difficult for me too. I'm always worried breaking up the text in chapters will lessen impact or make people forget things that came before, and I haven't really written that many chaptered fics to have Solid Formulaic Advice at this time.

What I *do* use to orient myself is picking up books (or fics, but I'd really recommend having a look at the first option whenever possible) I've enjoyed reading in the past and sampling their endchapters to see how the text is spread out. In the end, it really depends on the kind of story you're trying to do!

I err on the side of trying to make every chapter self-contained, bc that's the most interesting to me, and what I enjoy reading. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! Every chapter can have its own little emotional journey. Though if you're unsure of how to setup your chapter endings to keep returning readers, you should keep in mind 1- Hooks and 2- Unresolved tension.

The first thing that may come to your mind here are 'twist endings!' and while that's a valid tactic, I'd really recommend reeling back a little and not overusing them. Save that for the important stuff.

A 'Hook' at the end of your chapter can be as simple as your character deciding to do something risky or that involves some level of consequence (positive or negative) and the consequences of the action they took are saved for the next chapter.

An example of that is a 'Reveal' - information previously concealed from the audience is completely or partially revealed, and it is Of Some Consequence to the text that surrounds it. The consequences, again, are saved for upcoming chapters. Your character discovers they have a rash 30 minutes before the wedding! Your character notices their personal memento has gone missing! Maybe their previously peaceful day is now completely ruined, or maybe their previously AWFUL day is saved by a turn of fate; they cracked open a macguffin they found at the beginning of chapter 1 and it was a chest full of GOLD! That's a reveal.

(A `Reveal of character` also works, if it`s particularly mysterious or climatic.)

Another example is the `Twist`. This one is the trickiest and takes the most setup to work, as a proper twist end should re-contextualize events that took place before it, while still leaving unanswered questions for the future. (A twist is a kind of reveal, though not all reveals are twists. I say this just to drive home the fact that Twist Is Not The Only Proper Path)

and there are other microways to end your chapter, though that’d take a while to detail, so let’s skip to the core of it: all of the above examples are motivated by some level of 2- Unresolved Tension.

Your character wants something that they do not have/could not get? That’s Unresolved Tension. That motivates your character to keep acting up, and your audience to wonder what comes next. The thing they want/could not get can be as simple as “wanting answers” or “seeking approval” or a material objective. Make your character’s goals and frustrations smaller, don’t be over reliant on every threat being a cosmic-level nuke or what have you.

They can worry about what they’ll have to fix tomorrow. They can worry about foiled social interactions. They can worry about a deadline. ETC ETC ETC... steps taken towards these goals, or events that push your protagonist directly towards these worries - these are a great setup for unresolved tension, and can give you interesting endchapter hooks.

Going from oneshot exclusives to chaptered works will always be a challenge, since each format deals with pacing and mood in its own unique way. It also involves some level of sacrifice when you have to choose where to cut, and wonder what constitutes A Full Section. I would encourage you to be a bit more experimental while you’re trying out stuff; think of every chapter as a piece that adds to the whole, not something that needs to contain every element of your story right away. The atmosphere of longer works is inconsistent (or rotating) by design - and that’s fine!

#meta tag #resources #writing resources

[floating-in-the-blue]

I am curious about the following questions: 16, 51 & 79

For the Fanfiction Writing Ask Game.

I hope it's okay that I chose multiple numbers :)

Anon, I am THRILLED by any and all excuses to ramble about writing so thank you so much for enabling me with these excellent questions <3 <3

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

I mostly write on my tablet or my work computer tbh (love that computers aren't even an option any more). I type faster than I write by hand so I like that and it's so much easier to edit, too.

I will occasionally jot down notes on paper or even write a little on paper but not so much in recent years because the sad truth is I'm either at work or at home with easy access to my tablet anyway so ...

People who actually seriously write on their phones scare me.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

In regards to fic: not that much. Although it depends on the mood. But genre and tropes wise etc the only difference is skill level. Like I admire people who infuse their stories with research or who can write case or mission fics etc but if I could do that (and had the ideas and time) I would like to write that as well.

In regards to book: yes actually. Like, not completely, but I will want to read some other things every now and then because my brain gets itchy when it's only feed on one thing for too long so I'll vary the diet with some things I would never write which are often the things that will give me fresh ideas and perceptions on writing actually.

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

(Read diversely ;D)

Hm ... let's see. Writing fanfic, I'd say to go back to the source material every now and then (especially if you also read a lot of fic for it) to remind yourself of the origins. If things like consistent characterisation etc are important to you (remind yourself of speech patterns, mannerisms, complexity of character). If you don't actually care about that (which is valid) nevermind.

Write what you want and don't worry too much about pleasing other people. Try to put in enough work to polish it than you can still be proud of it later on but also always look kindly back on your earlier work.

Ask me Things and I will ramble :D

#yeo writes

[acearohippo]

Buckle up! The Hippo's commentary time is here~~ Starting with Li Ling's 'Spice' side story. Warning, I'm going to be leaning very heavily into shipping (Li Ling x Tang Xuan) territory with this one. Sorry for the non shippers.

Chopsticks? Whose? Where did he grab em from?? I doubt a cafeteria just has them set on the table.

There's three options: 1) he grabbed Tang Xuan's, 2) he grabbed Li King's, or 3) the boys are just used to grabbing extra cutlery during meals.

Ignoring three, either Lewis used Tang Xuan's used chopsticks or Li Ling's unused set.

Conclusion: The boys are that group of friends that just feed each other from the same dish, using the same cutlery, and everyone around them is unsure if they're dating or not.

Ok, so Lewis has known Li Ling for, relatively, longer (Li Ling's character profile suggests that he and Lewis hit it off first and Tang Xuan joined the group later via refereeing soarring matches) than Tang Xuan, so why would Lewis not recognise the hot pot? And why would Tang Xuan know that it would be spicy?

From his and Li Ling's dates, that's how. It seems to be a common occurrence that Li Ling and Tang Xuan eat out together (Tang Xuan's 'Karma' side story and Li Ling's 'Bad Boy' side story). And I'm still stuck on Lewis now getting the "Tang Xuan's friend" title in Tang Xuan's story. They clearly all hang out, and not always as a trio, and have a great relationship, but it just feels like the stories are subtely emohasising the difference in what kind of relationship between Lewis and Li Ling, Lewis and Tang Xuan, and Li Ling and Tang Xuan. Seems like Lewis and Li Ling are best friends, Lewis and Tang Xuan are good friends, and Li Ling and Tang Xuan are... Headed towards a romance? 👀

Disclaimer: As someone who is acearo, logically, I know that even in a friend group everyone acts differently depending on who they're with. But as someone who's been in several friend groups, after a while (if it's a mutually fond friend group) everyone starts to assimilate to each other, which means matching speech, attire, personalities, tastes, etc etc. Not exactly, but definitely everyone rubs off on everyone.

I'm not seeing that with these 3. Granted, lillithgames isn't the... Best when it comes to cohesive and realistic dialogue, but I don't even think I could chalk this down to less-than-stellar writing. They each vibe differently with each other, and Li Ling and Tang Xuan just feel more romantically inclined to me.

But I digress, back to the story!

So, after further research... I'm going to but my South Indian/Chinese!Li Ling headcannon to rest 😔😔

Because South Indian/BURMESE/Chinese!Li Ling is where it's at 🤪🤪 Tangton is one sound away from Tangtong, which is a city in Burma [Myanmar]. It's located in South East Asia, to the right of Bangladesh and India and under China. They're all super close to each other and I have never felt more validated than now... Until the next time some random line adds to the headcannon 🤣

Either way, a quick glimpse at their cuisine and there's a lot of dishes that would absolutely work fantastically in hotpot form, and they share similar cuisine to Indian and Chinese food.

It's all coming together 😌

Why is Tang Xuan denying something happened?? This may be the Autism speaking (saw someone make a post about Li Ling and autism with this story, I dig it but allow me to push it further), but mayhaps it's a boundary issue? Something that just is with most people on the spectrum is this boundary (I call it consent, aholes will call it control) line where we don't like people in our personal space or our belongings unless we take the initiative. Think cats. While I hate lying, I can understand that accommodation to not ruin Li Ling's current mood so that he can take the initiative to share later, when he wants to. Small little moment, but adorable nonetheless.

HA! Not Tang Xuan trying to soften the blow and come up with excuses while Lewis is just like "absolutely not 😐". Those the kind of friends you need 🤣 a sweet friend and a hardass.

I ran out of space to add pics :')))

Sighs... Guess I'm making a part 2

#the hippo speaks #dislyte #li ling #tang xuan #li ling dislyte #tang xuan dislyte #lewis dislyte #li ling x tang xuan #monkeylotus #lotusmonkey #lingxuan #sigh #lixuan #still don't like that shipname #it should MATCH #lastnamelastname or firstnamefirstname #or symbolicimagerysymbolicimagery #grumbles

[superconductivebean]

#811: Extremophile's

Being a self-dweller has its benefits but also comes at a great cost of being shoveled away or ignored in favour of other contacts, which is perfectly fine -- but only when the communication is or has been properly established, that is.

In a large ocean of social interactions popping in every once in a while is more than enough to set a mood: oh look, the someguy has brought us fairings, nice!

The Someguy, me, is a deep sea creature who rarely sees the light of day; I find much comfort in my volition and exile, what little warmth there is replaces me hearth and I am not willing to change it for the hottest of beaches or coldest of icebergs; neither place feels right, both social ecosystems are — not to say common — but as the name implies, taking a creature like me up would probably greatly upset me and leave with a feeling of that I don't belong. Although I can live in upper layers, I am a guest in there. This world, this overwhelming sun many compete for, isn't mine for the taking.

Ominous silence of my habitat is the loudest sound and an alert; I'm not disoriented, I'm at home and at peace when I can simply observe.

That, however, doesn't mean that any interaction whatsoever is the death of me; when it is at mutually established pace, it is fine, and in most places, this is well-understood thanks to the common sense that advises against perturbations or disturbances to layers of ocean that you, yourself, aren't feel very comfortable in.

Being too deep or too shallow aren't equivalents to saying One Is Good And The Other Is Bad either; it is merely a matter of one's comfort but what essentially creates the sense of comfort is communication between the dwellers of each layer.

It is also a matter of social differences.

It is a rather convoluted way of saying it, but the more solitary is your existence, the more you could be seen as troubled, or disturbed, or weird, or, you know. Out of this world especially when you're a voice coming from that void that is lying underneath the sunlit layers; the remaining trait of a creature that once enjoyed the sun, so to speak.

Being extremely self-aware also requires a deep understanding of a simple fact: what can withstand pressure and what cannot seems obvious to me, it comes from experience, therefore, anything said on the matter of hardness of the works of mine, or others of similar mind, should not be taken for granted nor it has to be perceived as an ask for pity.

If there are flaws, there are flaws. Should they be addressed, though, is only ever depended on how close to home or goal the work sinks.

Sometimes, you need it perfect. Othertimes, anything goes.

Oftentimes, neither matters, as the process takes the cake and the result is just there for others to may be stumble upon one day -- or if asked, to get the thingy right on. Both are valid options; being pre-occupied by thoughts all the time leaves very little time to worry if what has been asked and delivered was even worthy of sharing.

However, it is always good to know if it really wasn't. Or if it was. The mere probability of the thingy becoming or being in demand is what usually takes this little time that one does not worry but overthinks if further suggestions are welcome and that assumptions were correct.

You seae, although feedback doesn't matter as much but can be a welcome addition to otherwise seemingly gloom existence, how the thingy is received takes its toll because it has been asked for — and the one happened to have it on hand — and when the one hands it over, one awaits a simple answer: should there be more or to stop it.

Hence throwing asked-for links to the [seen] void has a consequence: one might assume the other is only interested in the one's survival tactics as of the never-before-seen fandom entity, — as of a pretty picture, — but not of the display of traits, or bioluminescences, or (mal)adaptations, or any other prowess or the lack thereof; that all, however, has been shown the light of other's curiosity but has never been an asked call on said piquing on the one's endeavour.

tldr; There is fairly little to think about when your links are stockpiled like a thick layer of silt yet it's still not enough to reach to you, and it's dreadfully obvious that the effort of once again throwing yourself around to have any confirmations is on you, always, in a seemingly established environment — and that if you'll even start on that, others will not perceive it gladly, they'd think you want them to suffer through your pitiful stupidity.

I can only call it a miscommunication whirlpool. A perturbation.

yes i get petty when i deliver and hear hello silence my old friend only to some time later see down to word, identical request for the very same thingy — and when the link is out again, hello silence plays again ; leaves to wonder if there is an underlying dislike or whatever, because if the link is out by someone who isnt me it gets received

#днявочка #eng tag

[orsuliya]

I love Awu when she's in boss wifey mood.

In ep. 44 we find out that Qianer not just assaulted Xiao Qi but the drugs were extremely dangerous and would cause a great harm to a man. And while they're listening, Awu looks at XQ, at his vulnerable face, and she is totally in "i'm going to tear the bitch apart, no one can touch my man" mood. And then she literally destroys Qianer.

However Awu didn't let her grudges go. In ep.57 she still accuses her evil cousin. "Because of your treacherous tactics, you guys have hurt the prince!". Yeah Awu, protect your man 👍

How do you think they spend the night after the cousin's assault?

My answer to that question changes regularly, depending on the mood, which is just great, let me tell you. And I'm not even being sarcastic; it's always good to have some options to choose from! As far as I'm concerned those options are as follows:

Option 1. Hurt and Comfort.

Do you remember how Doctor Shen recommended strong tea as a way to get rid of the remaining poison faster? Which is valid; while tea isn't truly a detoxificant on its own, it can support your body's natural detox mechanisms. So basically Xiao Qi is meant to sit tight and wait for all the unpleasant side effects to pass. Oh, and hydrate, which is always a good idea and doubly so when dealing with blood loss.

Well, since Xiao Qi's movements are justifiably unsteady and even in the morning he's pretty much down one hand, I don't think that he should be left to hydrate on his own. Give that man some help! Cue a vison of Awu holding a teacup to Xiao Qi's lips before helping him to lie down, his head resting on her knees and then gently stroking his hair away from his forehead as she tells him what exactly happened to the Screechers and why poor Turnip had to physically drag Screecher Junior to his carriage through the entire courtyard.

There is a distinct possibility that she also takes this opportunity to apologize, both for unwittingly putting him in danger and for going behind his back with Helan Zhen. Which Xiao Qi explicitly refuses to listen to, raising his healthy hand and putting his fingers on Awu lips, just as she did to him before. It's not like he didn't go behind her back, so they're pretty much even, no need for any apologies. And besides, it's hard to recognize an enemy who disguises herself as a civilian under your care.

Option 2. Hurt and Horniness.

That option should be pretty self-explanatory, I think. Doctor Shen confirms that while blood-letting helped Xiao Qi not to, you know, die, it hasn't gotten rid of the problem in its entirety, hence the prescription of tea and rest. So the remaining effects should be harmless enough to let the patient deal with them on his own, without the necessity of expert help. By which I mean Doctor Shen and his medicines, you filthy-minded creatures.

Still, you can't deny that Xiao Qi looks rather, ah, peaky, even after some helpful soul wipes the sweat off his face. Was that Turnip, I wonder...? Just kidding, although such an act could double as a rather effective anti-aphrodisiac.

While expert help is not required or needed, I don't think that Xiao Qi would reject a helping hand - or any other body part - offered to him by his beautiful and compassionate wife. Who might be getting something out of this deal, since I doubt it's pure altruism that has her looking like the cat that got the cream over breakfast and boast about getting a good night's sleep despite rising unusually early. Mind you, it could be simply joy and relief caused by having their home declared a Screecher-free zone.

Option 3. Hurt and Realism.

Life is (sadly) not all fanfiction cliches and cdrama biology. Now, if anyone knows what the drug in question is actually supposed to be, do share, but personally I'd bet on something containing toad secretions. Those have been long used in Chinese medicine, also as aphrodisiacs, can be lethal in wrong doses leading to heart attacks and the like, and, which is most significant, can have hallucinogenic properties. Which is exactly what Xiao Qi seems to be experiencing and what prompts him to go straight for the knife. We've been told a few times before that he doesn't drink and the explanation provided by Song Huaien is that he never ever wants to lose the clarity of mind. If sobriety and clear head is that important, there must be a reason for it, which could, incidentally, double as a reason to panic and start with the cutting instead of, I don't know, crying for help. Like a sane person.

These kinds of medicines can also have some pretty nasty side-effects, including reduced clotting, diarrhea, mouth ulcers and myalgia. The last one seems to be our winner as it's clear that Xiao Qi is having trouble with moving. At one point during his conversation with Turnip he tries to curl onto himself and later on starts panting, as if experiencing a serious rib cramp. Which is just about the worst thing in the world. I trust TRP on details and this all fits a bit too well. Combined with severe blood loss, which must have been significant, even if not up to the point of causing hypovolemic shock, there is every chance that Xiao Qi's night will be pretty miserable. Once the adrenaline rush is over we're most likely to be left with a sweating, woozy, drowsy and fatigued log in serious pain. Oh joy!

Sooo... Which option do you choose?

By the way, I'm a very big fan of morally destroying Miss Screecher, if you couldn't tell. Not as much as some of you and certainly not as much as a certain proponent of skinning her like a rabbit, to whom I shall get back at a later date, but still. Hold onto that grudge, Awu, and never let it go!

#ask and answer #the rebel princess #if anybody has another option or five I'll take them #or we can always pick and mix I guess

[caitymschmidt]

Hey, you. Aspiring writer here; I love engaging with and analyzing fiction (esp fantasy), but it's very difficult for me to sit down and write anything. I just feel like the process is immensely boring, whether I'm writing by hand or typing, probably on account of associating it with school essay writing. Makes me feel like it's impossible to 'enjoy the journey' so to speak. Any advice for maybe overcoming that?

I might be able to help!

I will start by saying that I am a madman (read: nerd) who has enjoyed writing since middle school and who regularly delivered double the required word count on essays. So, if none of this resonates for you, that’s on me, but hopefully something sparks for you.

1. One thing that I do a lot is the  “drunk” version of the story. That’s the version of the story or scene as you would describe it if you were giddily describing it to your friend/date/stranger. The one where you say things like:

“...And then, BAM! He gets out of the cell at the last minute, right as they’re coming to get him. How? Who knows. idefk. have to figure that out, but he does, possibly with that rope trick I was talking about earlier. When he gets outside...”

I’ll write an entire scene that way when it’s refusing to come together. It’s sloppy and fast, and feels like I’m rambling in a bar. 

Then I move on, write the parts that want to be written, and loop back to the drunk scenes. Since they’re already kinda, sorta written, I don’t feel like I’m writing the scene, just filling in the holes, which is much less stressful for me. It also helps me see where things are missing, where things are too far, and where things need to be thrown out entirely.

2. Another weird way I come at writing is dialogue first. Partly this is because I started in theater, but it seems like lots of people hear the dialogue before the know the rest of the scene. So... write the dialogue. Don’t worry about dialogue tags (he said, she cried) unless you’re in the mood for them, just get the dialogue down on the page.

Then, same thing as before, come back through, and start filling in the details you need to make the dialogue into a scene.

3. Something that always makes me feel like I’m writing another thesis is when I get into really long, really structured paragraphs. I was, frankly, terrified, when I showed/posted/published for the first time because my relationship with proper grammar is.... let’s call it tenuous.

I write the same way I would tell a story in a chat.

I use hard returns and run on sentences and fragments to communicate tone. I don’t know what your personal style is, but why not start by writing exactly the way you’d tell your discord group? You’re not trying to hit MLA format. Story is about communication, so if you communicate via gifs and tiktok references, start there. Sure, you might come back and trade out gifs for descriptions, and depending on your audience, tiktok might need to swap for something else, but that comes later. It might not come at all. All of those options are valid.

4. If you want to break from the habits that have you thinking of school, and kind of rewire your brain for creative writing: write poetry. Or songs. Or find an RP partner. Write a text message fic. Jump as far from writing proper essays as you possibly can. Without knowing quite what you normally do, I’m not sure what that is. But fling yourself as far from grammar rules and structure as you possibly can. Stake a new claim on writing that has nothing to do with essays and grades, and once you’re comfortable there, you can start spreading out into new things.

--- I hope something in there is helpful to you, or at least gave you an idea of something else to be helpful to you. School tends to suck all the joy from writing, so you’re certainly not alone. The best comfort I have for you is this: If you want to be a writer or a storyteller, odds are very good that you’ll find a way to reclaim it. Story is inescapable, and if it’s already grabbed you, I have faith that you’ll find you way in time.

#replies #how to write #writer's block #writers of tumblr #writer problems

[softer-ua]

in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders

I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.

I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.

And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.

tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.

im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It

I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚

I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.

I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.

The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.

I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)

It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).

I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.

(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)

I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.

I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.

But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)

No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy

And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.

And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)

Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.

He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.

Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.

Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them

I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.

I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.

Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.

Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.

It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.

Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.

Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.

I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.

And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.

Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤

#tw ableism #ableism #tw biphobia #biphobia #softy answers #I have a sorta sad one shot about Kami and his quirks effects #should i post it?

[dangan-happy]

[Beep boop, I'm stuck in the chicken coop]

heyy,im hoping if i can chat with Kazuichi and Usami,thanks!

soooo...well,things at school have been getting me stressed out.like the work,the teachers barely knowing i exist,bullies/h0m0phobes and me feeling like my friends are using me.its hard meeting up with my guardians expectations on the work too - it only makes my anxiety worse,and ive been thinking of dropping out too...i just cant handle it

feel free to delete this if you dont wish to reply!thanks in advance!!

U-Uwwwaahhh! None of that is good. Nuh-uh, not good at all. I hate to hear all of that, my dear student. I can just feel the despair from your ask, and despair is a huge no-no! Fear not though, for your teacher will do the very best that she can do!

I must tell you though that, no matter how difficult or heavy this despair may be, dropping out isn’t the solution! If anything, dropping out may only make your anxiety and your situation overall worse! I-I may not be one of the teachers who are physically teaching you or anything, but I’m still your teacher regardless, and I won’t let any of my students lose to despair, and that includes you. This is easier said than done, but please, don’t give in to this despair of yours! If I have to, I’ll use my magic stick to provide you some extra hope. Even so, this rough patch of yours will pass. I can tell that you’re a strong, determined individual, so keep up the great work! You can do it; you’ll get through this. I pinky promise that this will end in due time and that I’ll stand by your side through it all, even though I don’t have any pinkys, tee-hee.

If your anxiety is this bad, then I would suggest talking to someone you can truly trust, or at the very least, journaling down your thoughts and feelings. It may also help to try and focus on a hobby of yours, or maybe even pick up on a new hobby! Sometimes, when my anxiety starts to rise like bubbles when you blow into your milk with a straw, I like to doodle or make simple but cute crafts, like cutting construction paper into a heart! Of course, that may not work for you, so just find and stick to whatever works best for you, my dear student. After all, it’s best to let some of this out somewhere, as bottling things up is another no-no.

Hey, if you’re in the mood, how about a soft, warm, super duper squishy hug? You can hug some of that anxiety out if you need to; I don’t mind. I simply want the best for you. And hey, I’ll even give you some candy and a gold star sticker, because you deserve it. Stay on the side of hope, my dear student, and don’t forget to save frequently!

~

I don’t get it, schools nowadays sound like hell and don’t make any sense to me. It’s way different compared to Hope’s Peak, I mean sure we have bullies like Hiyoko but…I don’t know. It just sounds so bizarre to me.

And the teachers too, I can’t wrap my head around them not being more involved with what’s going on with their students during school hours.

While I don’t want to encourage you dropping out, sometimes, that’s the best option you know? Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work you have can really drive you to feeling like it’s the only option, but I think that’s a valid reason to drop out. School isn’t for everyone, don’t let other people fool you into thinking that dropping out is a horrible decision. Not everyone needs school, that’s already been proven by many successful people we have in the world.

Sure, the stuffed toy said that dropping out isn’t the solution, but I’d like to say that it really depends on the person. Although I guess if you’re in high school or below, dropping out wouldn’t be ideal for you. If it’s college, it’s another story. But I really do disagree with the rabbit respectfully. I don’t personally see the wrong in dropping something that is making you feel awful. Hell with all the bullies and horrible people there, I wouldn’t blame ya.

Now, I think a hug is in order, right? It’s the least I can do so I can comfort you. You do deserve it after all.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #monomi #kazuichi souda #mod hajime #mod soda pop

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: Good morning, how are you? Ava: 😊 All the 🌞 for hearing from you Ava: how are you, James? James: I'm happy to hear that James: meanwhile I'm busy, but unfortunately not solely with hours dedicated to missing you, which is in itself dangerously close to a regret Ava: I know what you mean Ava: the universe doesn't allow nearly enough opportunities for pining at open windows or reflective musing whilst staring into bodies of water, or mirrors, depending on the mood Ava: impressive you can think up any beautiful words in such circumstances Ava: what are you busy with? James: I can't remember the last time I looked into a reflective surface that wasn't a kitchen appliance, but considering how few hours of sleep my present universe allows, that's perhaps for the best James: there is only so much a caffeine fuelled bloodstream can produce and therefore no new paragraphs of the novel are forthcoming either James: I'm steeping your in disappointments to begin your day, I'm afraid James: and you're not the only one, as what I am overwhelmingly busy right now is cancelling plans Ava: I'm sure I'll survive them all though Ava: as you will the lack of sleep and caffeine jitters, with a bit of help Ava: what can I do? Ava: Which is to say, what plans are worth keeping cancelled, and which ones should be salvaged from the ❌🗑 James: all I am left with are the activities which I cannot bear to erase from the schedule, therein lies my dilemma in its entirety Ava: Lay it on me Ava: two heads are better than one James: she is supposed to be here & isn't, which is of no surprise to me & wouldn't be of any consequence if I were capable of being in two places at once James: but I am not, nor do I have words to spin this into a story that doesn't end with a child having even less routine or structure when what she wants is more of both Ava: Right, and naturally, she's left it too late to contact any grandparent to be a stand-in? Ava: is it something I could do or not? James: I did try my mother but her reaction to being asked to enter the swimming baths was as hilarious as it was unhelpful Ava: I can imagine Ava: if that wasn't a waste of imagination James: I should have foreseen that they'd end up sharing the same unwillingness to get their hair wet Ava: but swimming caps are so fetching Ava: 🙄 James: of course James: & it's entirely about them, not the children's enjoyment Ava: or that swimming is actually a pretty vital skill Ava: you think people who like to spend so much time doing water-adjacent activities, yachting, sailing etc, would realize said importance but half my friends can't swim, only take the poolside pictures Ava: but seriously, if you think they'd be okay, I'm happy to keep watch on whichever kid would be more agreeable with me doing so James: Jay loves swimming, but I'm sure she'll outgrow it & prefer to pose apathetically on a lounger in designer sunglasses given a few years & the force of my wife's will James: that's how things work in this universe Ava: Not everyone is like that Ava: and your wife's will can be broken by the horror of damp hair, it can't be that much of an unstoppable force James: her will isn't the one being tested, but point taken Ava: No, I know Ava: I bet none of her yummy mummy friends take their kids though, do they? James: all of her friends have foreign au pairs that they barely have to financially compensation for raising their children full time Ava: so Ava: we can pretend I'm your enthusiastic...Swedish is perhaps a little too cliche Ava: Dutch? Ava: au pair James: what language do you actually take in school? James: they might hypothetically try to voice their complaints to you & expect you to respond in kind Ava: Such a shame the obligatory Latin won't come in handy, as per with dead languages Ava: I take French though, some of them might be Swiss James: it's inconsequential really, I can't ask you to help me when I haven't even asked what your plans are Ava: I offered, you didn't ask Ava: and I wouldn't have offered if I was busy with anything of consequence James: yes you would Ava: Nothing in my life is that important, not currently James: this isn't important to you James: & it doesn't have to be Ava: It's a life skill, like I said Ava: I don't mind doing it James: what am I supposed to say? Ava: if you think it's a bad idea, it's not like I'll be offended or anything silly like that James: it isn't that it's a bad idea Ava: What is it? James: it's that I feel bad, if this is what I can offer you James: because ours isn't supposed to be a sob story & it seems like I've only started a conversation with you to file my complaints Ava: it's not all you can offer me Ava: or all you do Ava: you have responsibilities, plenty of them, I knew that before Ava: and it's not a negative, even with it meaning we spend more time missing each other than we'd like James: it is however painfully stereotypical, 'my wife doesn't understand me' & so on Ava: well, yes Ava: at least you aren't alone in that pain Ava: 2/3 marriages, isn't it James: you're not supposed to be a sounding board for my mistakes, or hers, is all I'm trying to say Ava: I don't feel like one, I promise James: I just wish we could exist independent of this James: but there's no way not to feel equally as bad for wishing for a different world as I do for dragging you into this one Ava: I know Ava: but that wouldn't be a real world at all Ava: it could only exist within the pages of the novel Ava: it'd be perfect but James: I know that too, all of it James: ignore me, I'm tired Ava: I couldn't if I wanted to Ava: and I don't Ava: maybe you'll find a lilo to catch some 💤 on James: sadly I'm not taking any of you swimming at the villa Ava: You would have to tell me if I needed my passport as well as my swimsuit James: one day Ava: yeah? James: if you want to Ava: I don't need to pose apathetically in another sun lounger Ava: but of course, I'd like to be anywhere with you James: you won't be, that isn't even the hypothetical holiday I have in mind James: you know I want to experience things with you Ava: Then we will Ava: and it'll be much more than a photo opportunity James: okay, good Ava: Where would you most want to go together? James: I don't know James: but I like snow Ava: We can work with that Ava: top of a mountain, maybe James: that would be an undeniably good photo opportunity Ava: okay, so the view doesn't count 😅 James: I'll be relying on that, taking mental pictures is all well & good for now but you're a very lovely view Ava: oh 😌 Ava: you're lovelier James: no, you're impossibly beautiful James: all I can do is my best to put suitable description to it Ava: you're just Ava: I want to help you today Ava: but it's undeniably a bonus that I will get to see you James: I'll make some time purely for you James: I don't know when, but as soon as I can Ava: I'll take it Ava: whenever it is James: there's a chance I can use my mother's unwillingness to help me now as a insistence to do so later Ava: potentially Ava: promise her hair won't get wet, that'd be a start James: thank you, I'll open with that Ava: 😏 Ava: there must be something she'd like to do with them Ava: that won't also be entirely torturous for them, because certainly counterproductive James: I'm not sure there is James: but at the very least she's capable of feeding & putting them to bed Ava: then I can do the same for you Ava: more or less James: by then, it'll be my turn to do something for you Ava: which would you rather 🛏 or 🍽? James: it's not my decision, it's yours Ava: I'll cook for you James: I think that's wise Ava: I just want to see you, we don't need to go anywhere unnecessarily Ava: my place is often empty James: I'm happy to hear that in this instance, because of how much I want to see you too Ava: It has its perks Ava: you can take as long as you like putting me to bed, also James: can I? Ava: Yes Ava: I very much hope so James: I don't think you've anticipated how long I would like to spend doing so James: in a perfect world Ava: in this world Ava: we can go to bed very, very early, so you'll still be home by the time you need to be James: & if I don't need to be anywhere else, can I stay? Ava: yes Ava: you can stay as long as you can James: I'll try & stay until we can say good morning face to face Ava: I'd really like that James: me too Ava: You make me smile, you know James: I look forward to seeing it, should traffic ever allow Ava: Oh, I could've got myself there James: I know but I want to spend as much time with you as possible, just in case James: it's already been highlighted how unreliable all of my childcare options are & just how dependent on ridiculous whims Ava: I'm not going to complain, trust me James: you'd be entitled to, when you see how much energy these girls have compared to me James: they make me appear a level of exhausted that I haven't yet reached, honest James: it's horrifically unjust Ava: If I know anything about having kids, it's that any complaint I might have doesn't even register in comparison Ava: and you're still beautiful, even if you're very, very tired James: in theory possibly, but actually, your every sound & silence registers with me Ava: in that case, I'll make every one count James: I believe you Ava: not that I promise my words will be as good as yours Ava: that would just be foolish James: I don't doubt your vocabulary either, you're extremely eloquent & capable whatever the circumstances James: a very worthwhile skill in a protagonist Ava: you could make me the swooning type and it'd be valid Ava: perhaps not very likable or inspirational though James: unless you've changed your mind about seeing me, I don't have the time for such a drastic & unnecessarily out of character rewrite James: there aren't enough hours in the day to finish the saga, never mind turn us into the next Bella & Edward James: what a great disservice that would be to you anyway Ava: That would be so out of character, I couldn't possibly, we'd find ourselves in the same situation regardless Ava: and whilst I'm happy to miss you and do some pining for the cause Ava: I'll be happier to see you, of course Ava: no need to exile yourself to Italy, though I can see the pluses of that for you/Edward James: not to mention, the age gap is already enough of a potential concern Ava: at least you aren't re-doing high school for the nth time Ava: that would be alarming James: there's an argument to be made that I should Ava: if you picked a better school, maybe James: at the top of a mountain, perhaps Ava: yes Ava: though, distracting as you would be, I wouldn't be mad at an excuse to see you every day James: there is nothing more distracting than the thought of the blush of your cheeks in the cold air, which is what I'm considering right now Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I'm going to have to be cool when I see you, aren't I James: yes Ava: okay Ava: then I better compose myself James: such a heartbreaking sentence will never make it into the final draft Ava: it's okay, I like swimming James: you'll enjoy it when I can promise you a hot spring Ava: I'll love it then James: I hope so Ava: I will Ava: but I could be anywhere with you and feel 🌞 James: I can't help but feel as though this swimming lesson will put that to the test Ava: screaming kids are nothing Ava: I'm 💪 James: you can have the baby then, there's more heavy lifting involved Ava: alright Ava: I can do that Ava: she must be like a little 🐠 James: she looks like one with her 🐠 hooded towel on Ava: that's adorable James: [sends her a picture from a previous swimming lesson of that adorable bub wearing it because that's not cheating evidence Chlo, we're safe] Ava: Bless her Ava: she's precious James: you'll do fine, she enjoys a compliment Ava: I feel that James: well, it'd be amiss if I didn't flirt with my au pair & we don't want any raised eyebrows Ava: Exactly Ava: got to play your role James: if there was ever one I was seemingly born to play Ava: you don't want an actual au pair? Ava: not for flirting purposes, obviously James: I'm not allowed one, for flirting purposes or otherwise Ava: Ahh Ava: I see James: yet another cliche Ava: you shouldn't need one Ava: she doesn't work, right Ava: or uni, or anything James: of course not, but we would hypothetically need one because, as you just highlighted, she doesn't do anything Ava: yeah Ava: maybe you could find a man Ava: or a really unappealing woman James: I'm not handing her someone else to sleep with, least of all someone who's supposed to be busy watching the children James: & I don't think a woman unappealing enough exists given that my imagined track record clearly surpasses the actual Ava: and it would just be cruel to force any queer guy to be her built-in gay BFF Ava: 🙁 James: oh god, that would be the cruellest fate imaginable Ava: couldn't wish that on anyone Ava: I just Ava: wish I could help more long-term James: all you have to do is be here, that is helping me both short & long term James: more than you know or I could feasibly let you know Ava: but you can try Ava: and I will very much enjoy you doing so Ava: later James: I miss you James: I want you to know that now Ava: I miss you too James: I'll be there soon though, whether or not that helps or makes the feeling worse for you Ava: we'll see Ava: at least I can let you know 💬 James: I'll take my own opportunity to compose myself before you do Ava: 😇 James: 😈 Ava: it will be hard not to be James: it always is Ava: yeah Ava: one day, you won't have to be James: but this morning, I'll try to please everyone Ava: and you will James: you're the 😇 darling Ava: but you are very, very good Ava: you should know, I want you to James: thank you Ava: you're 🥇 James: I will only accept the accolade if I can share the honour with you Ava: you're too generous Ava: you deserve it James: so do you Ava: nah, not really James: yes really James: I don't deserve you happening to me James: I'm in awe of everything about you, Ava Ava: That's not true Ava: you deserve me Ava: and a lot more besides James: irrespective of the difference of opinion, I don't want anything more than you Ava: anything? James: what could I possibly desire more than you? Ava: you're Ava: are you nearly here? James: yes, but I can take some kind of impromptu detour if you'd rather the answer was no Ava: I can definitely compose myself again Ava: becoming quite an expert James: which is why you deserve a 🥇 James: I know how difficult it is to do Ava: at least we share in it Ava: that makes it, not easier but at least worthwhile James: still, I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for you Ava: it'll help when I get to see you in the pool Ava: or make it a lot worse in a kinda fun way, anyway James: oh James: I haven't stopped to consider what you're going to be wearing for this Ava: It's probably best you don't Ava: forget I said anything James: hm, what you're done is, you've essentially guaranteed I can't & won't Ava: it's okay, you have the whole ride there to think about it before you really need to concentrate James: except I meant it when I answered yes to being nearly there & as soon as I am, time will speed up as it tends to do James: around you there are just never enough moments Ava: I miss you before you've even got here too Ava: no amount of time seems suitable James: I'll write us days, weeks, months & years but there's every chance you'll still feel cheated by it Ava: that's just life isn't it Ava: there's no time for half the things we want to do, but we have to carry on in earnest anyway James: the fraction alters from person to person, depending on the life lived & what gets prioritised but I don't believe there's anyone satisfied that they've experienced enough of anything they still want Ava: right Ava: the best you can hope for is doing some of it and having no regrets about if you could've done any more with your allotted time James: in not doing regrets, I'm halfway there Ava: could be worse James: I'm aware it could also be better, don't worry, I won't make you say it Ava: who's couldn't though James: anyone I care about, if the 🖋 were mightier than the ⚔ or indeed intentions counted for more than words on paper in the 1st place Ava: good intentions might not exactly be doing good, but it's still much better than doing bad James: they might also be dangerously close to a fool's errand but I've definitely made a fool of myself for a lot less Ava: I think its noble James: do you? Ava: Yes Ava: of course Ava: I mean it, really mean it, when I say I think you're lovely James: it's just that I'm not used to hearing it James: give me days, months, weeks & years Ava: Done Ava: the only reason I'd stop was if you wanted me to Ava: even then, I might try again, a few more times James: I have no intention, be it good or bad, of stopping you from doing anything you want to Ava: as long as you want it too James: even if I don't Ava: I wouldn't want that James: give yourself days, months, weeks & years James: the point is, my limitations aren't yours, you can do whatever you want & I won't be something that prevents you Ava: I'll still have time and space to say and mean it, whoever I am, because it will still be true and you'll still deserve to hear it James: okay, I'll work on accepting that James: but I make no promises about getting that work done during this particular car ride James: nonetheless, if you're still willing to, you can get in Ava: [come through gal, say hello to them babies] James: [depending where we're putting this on the timeline it could be the first time you have] Ava: [very well could be, Jay just like whaaa] James: [she's like new phone who dis] Ava: [just like I too wanted to swim so I'm coming with, is that cool?] James: [cue excited chatter about swimming and all the other sports and activities she likes because she's a sporty bitch from cradle to grave hence her personal trainer future] Ava: [just taking an interest like your own mother never, so rude] James: [I like to imagine the baby joining in by making excited sounds like she's trying to chat too] Ava: [just replying like yeah girl, same, like you understand] James: [I love it when that's a thing] Ava: [so do babies] James: [already better with her than her actual mother is] Ava: [sad but true] James: [we know the bar is that low, no shade Ava we also know you'll be an amazing step mum and mum so] Ava: [but seriously, we aren't being that extra rn that would be weird, we're just being not shit lol] James: [exactly dr phil and we know this swimming lesson will go great cos I'm only gonna be evil after and not let him get away to spend the night with her cos forever rude] Ava: [that's real and fair] James: [you lowkey don't get to have anything you want rn lads it's just the era we're in] Ava: [true tea, can skip to that] James: the later we wanted is going to have to happen moreso than we thought James: I'm really sorry James: I've tried everyone, both my siblings even Ava: Oh, okay Ava: that is a shame James: It's not okay, you were wonderful earlier & I James: well, I'm hardly that, unless we're giving out marks for effort in the last hour Ava: I'm definitely counting it Ava: if it can't be done it can't be James: not tonight Ava: then it's, not okay but just a fact Ava: we'll find time James: what are you doing tomorrow, maybe we can find some time then? Ava: I'm going to another Uni taster day thing James: which uni is it? Ava: LSE, so I will be about the day after on James: & you'll tell me what you think of LSE when it's over, right? Ava: Of course Ava: it's 1st for journalism but I'm not sold quite yet James: the tour might swing it for you if they take it more seriously than the one I gave Ava: I happen to be fond of the tour you gave, thank you very much James: Yes, The Vault will forever hold a special place in your heart Ava: Exactly Ava: be swinging by whether I'm alum or not 😏 James: I'll bear that in mind should I ever need to find you Ava: you only have to ask James: or whistle, not your namesake's immortal line, but I'm sure it'd be effective Ava: I have two, should you ever like to try again James: I'll bear that in mind as well Ava: Are you named after your dad, or granddad? James: II not III Ava: might've skipped a generation, if he was feeling particularly ruthless James: that would be a fun anecdote, but no Ava: that's a shame Ava: how do they pick the second boy's name James: I assume my mother just named Teddy what she would have named me if my father's ego hadn't got in the way Ava: that makes sense James: how they chose me sister's name would be anyone's guess, were it not stolen from the royal family Ava: surprised they'd commit the faux pas Ava: never have you 'round now, very awkward James: or very much a relief Ava: Poor Charlotte is pretty awkward looking James: looking like your grandmother can go one of 2 extremely different ways James: the more greats you add, the more you're rolling the dice Ava: 😅 Ava: at least there is some mystery in that Ava: no prizes for guessing who I come from James: but hand on heart I can profess to being thrilled that neither of my daughters resemble any of their grandparents Ava: they look like you James: Jay does Ava: yeah, moreso Ava: little ones change so much James: yes, she's an unfinished work Ava: that's a good way to put it James: it's better than being a shelved one, as I am Ava: I can deploy tiptoes if necessary James: thank you for what will be a cherished mental image Ava: it'd be cuter if I was smaller but in relation to you James: you couldn't be any cuter, in relation to anyone Ava: I'm glad you think so James: of course I do Ava: no of course about it Ava: you're totally gorgeous yourself James: first you're comparing our heights & now follows the rest of our attributes James: it's okay, I'm sitting down Ava: well I'm glad to hear you're getting somewhat of a break Ava: I'm just saying, it was still very unlikely, if not star-crossed James: you don't think we looked right together earlier? Ava: I love how we looked James: is there a but coming? Ava: only in the sense I wish it wasn't such a predictable cliche scene around here Ava: but it's neither of our faults that employment is seen as an actual form of flirtation by some James: it was a convenient excuse, I couldn't have wished for more than that under the circumstances Ava: I know Ava: it did the job James: if you want to come again, we know it works Ava: do you think I'll be invited back? James: I don't see why not Ava: I did okay then James: you did better than okay, we're all in agreement here Ava: good James: you haven't been worrying about this since you left, have you? Ava: not worrying Ava: but I don't want to mess that up, so I'm glad I didn't James: I understand, but I meant what I said about being in awe of you, you know James: this wasn't any different Ava: You really do always know what to say Ava: I know it was only swimming, but I'm glad they got to go James: well it's obvious that you always know what to do because you were perfect James: I was worried I shouldn't have agreed to you coming with us, but I'm glad you did James: they would've missed out for no reason if I'd panicked needlessly Ava: it wasn't needless panic though, you were left properly in the lurch Ava: and on paper, does not sound like the best idea James: I'm used to that, but less used to us existing off the page, particularly when it isn't just the two of us James: I asked you what you thought about how we looked, but it's something I try not to think about Ava: because of what other people might think Ava: or because you don't like the thought James: because of everything about my life that makes it difficult for us to be an us James: & because of your age & theirs Ava: You aren't that much older, even if your life means you have to act it Ava: but I understand Ava: thinking about it too much makes you think it might only ever be a nice thought, a daydream on the page and in our heads James: I know but Jay is 6 & you aren't old enough to have a child of that age James: which is why you don't James: I can't help thinking about that Ava: Well, yeah, I don't get having kids, there's no denying that but I'm not trying to say I do Ava: most people your age don't have kids either James: of course they don't, that's the thing, there's not an excessive age gap but there is a huge discrepancy when it comes to our lifestyle Ava: I know James: I don't want to alter yours, that's all Ava: You aren't just going to Ava: my lifestyle is up to me James: okay, just don't let me rewrite you Ava: you won't Ava: you don't want to, and I won't let you Ava: don't worry, okay James: I'll try not to Ava: it's needless, we can use that word here instead James: it's only a worry because I like you exactly as you are Ava: those aren't your words, sir James: do you only accept original speeches? James: it's very much a sentiment that applies to you and how I feel in this instance Ava: as long as you stick to the classics Ava: Mark Darcy, Edward Cullen James: an easy promise to both make & stick to Ava: then I'm happy Ava: 😊 James: I'm happy to hear that Ava: I like it when you're happy James: I'm happy with you Ava: good Ava: that's a good start Ava: we'll see each other soon, but maybe we can call before then James: I'd like that James: when? Ava: whenever you can Ava: I'm going to have a quiet night in James: as soon as I can then Ava: perfect Ava: what are you doing now? James: everything you would if you were my actual au pair Ava: Awkward when I am just a pretty face James: you're not but you're also not on my payroll thankfully because that would be more awkward James: what are you doing? Ava: making some dinner Ava: then I'll see how long I can make a bath last, I reckon James: are you making the same thing for yourself as you were going to make for me? Ava: I would've made you something special James: you've earnt special too though Ava: I'll do a different kind of special then Ava: comfort food James: I normally can't stand compromises but that admittedly sounds like a lovely one Ava: aren't compromises key in kid negotiations though? James: I think that depends what kind of parent you are Ava: and you're the structure and routine, so you're the boundaries and rules that aren't up for discussion too James: whether I wish I could just give in sometimes or not Ava: you're the love too though Ava: you can tell they both adore you James: for as long as being everything doesn't wear me down to nothing, I'll keep being exactly what they need me to Ava: does anyone help Ava: like, give consistent help James: her parents are the closest I've got Ava: sounds really fucking stressful James: it was easier with one Ava: yeah Ava: now you're outnumbered James: & everyone helped more when Jay was younger because we were too James: I'm expected to know what I'm doing by now Ava: don't reckon anyone ever does though Ava: cop-out response, I'm aware but genuinely Ava: it's just everyone has the responsibility of fucking up their own kids James: every child is different & I'm not remotely the same person I was either James: an additional cop out response but true anyway James: the way I handle things now, or don't, is a world away from how I coped then so James: new challenges Ava: well, I can't say about then Ava: but you're nicer now than lots of dickheads 'round here that wait 'til they're 30-40 odd to have theirs James: thank you Ava: whatever missteps, having a parent that's a decent person is an advantage lots of kids don't get James: are yours? Ava: yeah, I think so Ava: like, they aren't storybook parents and they never have been that type, they're too fucked up for that Ava: but they did and would do anything for us, nothing we could bring at them would be too much, and my siblings have definitely put that to the test in recent years James: storybook parents tend to lead you into the woods using a trail of breadcrumbs or do nothing while you're placed under a curse anyway James: which sounds more like the school of child rearing my parents would subscribe to Ava: oh you're right Ava: the ones that aren't dead are usually terrible James: I need to write some better bedtime stories once the novel is finished Ava: you'd be perfect at that Ava: I can tell Ava: you can turn me into whatever animal sells best but it better be cute or I won't be able to help being slightly offended James: you'll be adorable & clever & kind, of course James: the good ideas can come from your animal counterpart as they always do from you when you're yourself Ava: very 🦗 Ava: she likes 🐕 a lot though, and I can handle that James: I was considering a water creature because you love swimming & are intending to be in the bath as long as you possibly can James: perhaps 🦦 Ava: see Ava: you're amazing at this Ava: that would be so cute James: you haven't seen the pictures yet, an amazing artist I am not Ava: we'll get you an illustrator James: male or unattractive? Ava: I'm not your wife, I don't need to make those sort of stipulations James: strictly hired on their ability to draw an adorable 🦦 it is then Ava: 👍 thinking James: [I was thinking he should send her some totally beautiful and expensive pudding because she said comfort food so that needs to arrive before she's in the bath otherwise that'd be annoying instead of sweet] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: how am I ever going to thank you? James: oh good, I thought you were say you didn't like it James: *about to Ava: I love it Ava: how are you just as sweet Ava: it's ridiculous James: it's ridiculous that I can't see you for days at a time James: I want you to know that you're in my thoughts more often than that Ava: if she knew how lucky she was, none of this would even be an issue, that's what's ridiculous Ava: but I'm sort of glad she doesn't Ava: selfishly James: she isn't lucky to have me, that's the obvious issue James: because to say that we don't work as a couple or aren't sweet to each other is an oversimplification Ava: did you ever? James: no Ava: I'm sorry James: I don't deserve any sympathy, I haven't always tried very hard Ava: It's still sad James: It's sad for them, I'd like to think that maybe one day they'll describe me as 'fucked up but...' as you did your parents though James: I'd happily settle for that Ava: I don't know how thrilled they'd be Ava: but there's not really a higher compliment so Ava: as far as goals go, it's a good one James: realistic goals are the only way forward Ava: I'll drink to that James: 🥂 since I can't actually Ava: I'm just eating my pudding, obviously James: very amiss of me not to send you 🍾 as well James: noted Ava: Shh Ava: it was perfect, you are Ava: there's always enough 🍾 'round mine to bathe in, should I feel so inclined James: I remember Ava: yeah Ava: I remember too James: I won't ask you to fill in the ensuing gaps in my memory, don't worry Ava: I tried not to pay that close attention, naturally James: 😇 naturally Ava: Hardly Ava: Buster was just pretty embarrassing James: I remember that as well James: though I took the 👑 in that regard so there's little room for me to say anything Ava: you aren't my brother so I guess it didn't really register James: it may have more closely registered had we stayed friends, I suppose Ava: He didn't stay, period James: precisely Ava: 🤷 James: if he had & we were still friends, there wouldn't be a you & I so Ava: depends how good friends you were Ava: think you'd have to be much better than you were, right? James: it would be an added complication regardless & there are more than enough of those Ava: very true James: no offense to your brother but I would rather have your company than his Ava: 😂 I should hope so James: you could improve your ⚽ skills but James: Jay'll help you Ava: Slander Ava: I could be semi-pro, you don't know 😏 James: 😂 Ava: I'm not though, don't want to get anyone's hopes up here Ava: definitely come back to bite me if I try and impress you with my dribbling skills 🙄 James: I won't wait for you to indignantly explain the off side rule to me, it's okay Ava: we're both better than that cliche James: I hope so Ava: besides, I have ZERO interest in being a sports journalist thank you Ava: not putting that out into the universe James: or a WAG presumably Ava: not unless he has an interesting personality to go with the ball control James: some of them must Ava: probably be better going with a female player but I doubt they're girlfriends go in for the WAG label Ava: not invested enough to champion it solo James: it'd be a slightly less stereotypical existence Ava: except every lesbian is either a footballer, cop or farmer James: I'll have to take your word for it Ava: yes, I'm very reliable James: well I'm sorry, you can't be the novel's narrator Ava: I like your words too much, that's fine James: you're too kind to me Ava: no James: yes James: because it's another failing of mine that I can't get inside your head in order to write those words Ava: I like when you tell them to me Ava: with your voice James: can I call you? Ava: yes James: [does and I vote it lasts for hours and hours because they are cute and high key] Ava: [agreed]

[starchild--27]

selma im back! even though we can't really be online 24/7 i still feel bad about leaving you with no asks for too long :( i'm sorry about that, these past few days have been pretty busy.

about the whole thing that happened a few days ago, it's alright to feel upset, it's completely understandable, it's not an easy situation to find yourself in, especially if it concerns a person you care about a lot. your feelings are valid always <3

now, i hope you had a good halloween! did you do anything special? and do you like horror movies? or are you perhaps more of a tim burton type of person when it comes to the spooky season?

and let me just say, you are the cutest! honestly i can see myself in you because i too cannot decide on only one favourite thing haha

but you're giving me a lot of information, this means i have a lot of options to work with while preparing your gift, so that's a good thing for sure! you're being very helpful <3

those are all very pretty shades and colours! i am jotting everything down haha plus we have something in common, black is one of my favourite colours too!

lilies and forget me nots are so pretty! very delicate, i like them! my favourite are tulips <3

and as for animals haha, i can see similarities between you and chanyeol from your answer!

i agree with you, autumn is a beautiful season, i too love the rain and the fact that there's halloween! autumn is also the season that comes closest to my favourite... which is winter! i just love the cold, having to wear layers to keep warm, the sweaters and the big jackets and coats, and, like you, the cozy afternoons! which for me are spent with the addition of a blanket and some hot tea!

what about you? do you like tea? or are you more of a coffee person?

for me, the answer to coffee is a big, heartfelt NO 😝 haha but i am a little like jongin, i can drink caffelatte haha

i hope you had a good start of the week! how's the weather like where you live rn? take care selma <3

kisses~

- SS 🐈

You really don't have to feel bad - you've been busy and that's just normal. I won't ever get mad about this, only curious what you've been up to and how you've been 😊

despite corona I had a super-cool Halloween party via Zoom with my two best friends. We dressed up and put some scary make up on and then played Cards Against Humanity, the Whisper Game and had a fun time trying a tarot card and palm reading :D have a little impression of cute baby-vampire me ^-^:

but I'm not too much if a horror movie kind of person, really. I've seen The Ring once and ... I think that's about it xD Mainly because I have a quite vivid imagination and wouldn't be able to sleep for two weeks after seeing a horror movie, haha. But I really adore Tim Burton movies!! I love his way of movie making very much. 😌

oh I'm glad I could give you some hints that are helpful for what you are preparing. I'm so excited for it 😁😁

Oh, I also like winter a lot ^-^ Exactly for the reasons you named :D Coffe and Tea are both essentials in my daily life - it really depends on my mood what I prefer in certain moments.

We have the typical autumn weather right now, some rain every now and then and very very beautiful sunsets. My start in the week was quite well ^-^ I've had my first online lesson in Italian today and the professor seems very kind and helpful, which I am so glad about, especially because I love learning about languages ^-^ how about you? what is your mother tongue and can you speak any more languages?

I hope you are doing fine, my dear secret santa. What have you been up to these days? Are you feeling well?

Have a nice (almost) sunset pic from today as a goodbye for now 😊

#secret santa #🐈 anon

[petitedragonfox]

Ayy, so totally out of context with the rest of your blog but, tumblr is my last resort right now as my friends are not being helpful...There is a con coming up this weekend and I have no idea what to do for the Saturday. I know Sunday I'm doing a young Bellatrix, but I'm torn between Sailor Uranus, Roy Mustang and Belle for the Sunday... HELP...

No harm done asking.

I myself don’t have experience from cosplaying yet, but have been doing background work in scene and my wife and daughter both have done many cosplays. All of your options seems valid and fun so I would say it totally depends on a few things.

First eep weekend is here soon! Have you done these cos’s before and have costumes ready if not everything depends on if you can get hold of materials and have time to make them.

1. Let’s assume you don’t have things ready. Depending on which costume you would make Belle would be most time consuming. So would opt for Uranus or Mustang.

2. You have everything ready. Well this depends so much on your mood. Here are my 2 cent's   2.1 Roy Mustang would make you change to have bigger variety while having both male and female chars. 2.2 Belle would be my favourite choise but I'm heavely biased as Belle happens to be princess I dreamed about being when I was kid :) But it's not long time since live action movie so both live and animation have had rewatches lately. Kids would love this one as well. I'm sure our daughter would at least. If by any change your con would be in Finland say in eastern regions she would probably wanna come to hug you but back out because of fear. ;) If ever had enough confidence would want to dry Belle one day ^^ 2.3 Uranus is always fun choise especially to fans of Sailor Moon. Being her could be seen as way of celebrating pride one extra day ;)

To be fair I was considering of doing my first ever real cos and going for weekends con as Clara Oswald from hyde. Allready have dress and my wig is soso. But could not muster enough courage so will still be going in male modish. Anyways coming fully out still in process.

If you need more pointers will be happy to give them tomorrow. Train arrives to station and of to sleep as soon as get home. :)