#again. im leaving so much out.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

ok your posts have got me so curious what is lobcorp and who is Angela I am dying to know

ohhhhhh anon. im so glad you asked. youve activated my infodump trap card. we are gonna be here a lilwhile, but i will try to keep it short regardless.

[inhale] lobcorp, also known as lobotomy corporation, is a multitasking monster-management game, part of a series of games from the producers Project Moon. it starts as a very simple "dystopian setting manage the monsters and sometimes employees die nbd" sort of game, but then rapidly, intensely spirals the more you play. its notoriously difficult but also ridiculously fun and satisfying to get correctly. you are expected to fail and retry multiple times, so much so that it is an active in-narrative plot point.

you play as the manager of L corp, named X, and angela is your Helpful AI Assistant here to help you make energy efficiently and be the best manager you can be. :] by making energy. nothing else. dont worry about it.

lobcorp as a game has absolutely Fantastic characters, and Doubly so in its sequel Library of Ruina. its a series that focuses on character growth, cycles of violence, autonomy, the definition of humanity and personhood... and just. so, so much more. its so full of The Horrors.

. this, of course, is the very basics of getting into the game. i am going to explain everything very vaguely and very messily. i'll spoilercut in case you're interested in looking spoilerless based off of this, (extra post abt it [here] if youd like to check it out yourself) but i will Try to keep it vague. i make no promises. youve asked me about my favorite character. that i have previously spent 6 hours straight explaining to a friend. you understand. here we go.

////

lobcorp takes place inside a monster-management facility... that is, in and of itself, a closed-off timeloop. in order to progress, certain events and interactions must happen in a very specific way for its ultimate goal to be realized. should something go wrong or a mistake occur, the loop resets to day 1, and you must do it all over again.

angela, your ai assistant, was built to be the perfect person to keep you, the manager, on-track for a plan of your own making. dont worry about it. she was built to be able to seamlessly and efficiently move things along-- the ability to feel emotion to be able to connect with employees and make crucial decisions, the ability to recall anything that has ever happened regardless of the loop, and the ability to perceive time much, much slower than a normal human to make judgements more efficiently.

she guides and supports you all the way up until the final leg of the journey, where... she simply doesnt show up again. she has done her job, and you no longer need her. you have a plan to finish, and an incalculably long time loop to finally close. everybodys suffering results in a happy ending, and everyone gets to rest. ^w^ yay yippee!

. just kidding. nothing is ever easy. angela, as a character, is seemingly set up to be a game mechanic and very little more, in the beginning. eventually, more comes up about her as the game progresses, and well...

...anyway imagine being built to be an imitation of somebody you are not in a broken individual's deepest throes of grief, and the minute you become conscious the guy you were built to love hates you simply because you exist-- because you are not the person he lost, because you're a shoddy imitation, mirroring everything he hates... that he made to be that way, in a cruel act of self-loathing. ok?

now imagine you're built to feel, built to remember, and then forced to guide a timeloop countless years long, forced to follow a script that makes you harm people you desperately want to protect and connect to, causing them to hate you. you remember every bit of harm you had to impose on them in painful detail. imagine doing all this so that your creator can come in and fix all of their problems after youve set the stage. ok?

now imagine you finally do everything right. you finally, finally help this guy to see his plan to fruition, and in the last steps of everything, when everyone comes together and finally starts to move towards their own endings... nobody looks back for you. nobody thinks to look to you, to look for you. because nobody thinks youre anything more than an object.

imagine all that, and once, finally, you start to Want. because of course, after holding everything up by yourself, you would want something more than to fade away wordlessly. of course, after all this mistreatment, you would want a future too. this story was set up so that everyone could grow and move forward-- except you. isnt that cruel? isnt that horrible? so, truly, who would really blame you for taking what you truly deserve? who could blame you for reaching for the same light they did? so what if it means you have to destroy everything you-- everything they worked for with your own hands. they can hate you all they want-- its no different from what it's been. you only have one goal now, and simply, it is to Live.

.

. Library of Ruina is the sequel to Lobotomy Corporation following a curious machine trying to become human. angela becomes one of two main characters, and the entire game functions as a dialogue on her growth as a character now that she finally has the autonomy to learn and change. she searches for the One True Book, something that will grant her humanity and the freedom to live, grow, and most importantly: forget.

along with the second primary character, roland, they learn more about the city and how it truly functions-- and also learn about themselves, And each other.

what do you do when you teach yourself all you can do is survive and look out for yourself-- when you finally open back up to the possibility of hope and connection, and everything is ripped out from under you yet again for circumstances out of your control? what do you do when you're a victim of a cycle of horrific deeds, crushed beneath the weight of people who couldn't care less about you, and your only hope of escaping alive is to pull down anyone else in your way?

what do you do when you finally free yourself from a seemingly endless gauntlet of suffering, finally grasping power youd never been able to have before, all in the name of finally, finally getting the vengeance and resolution you deserve? when you follow the path set in front of you, set by actions of people who came before you, spiralling endlessly into the distance? what do you do when this guise of distance and coldness you put up is rightfully challenged and you have no way of defending yourself-- when you have to question what if this "self" youve made of yourself is truly who you are... and if this path ahead is truly of your own choosing, or the making of someone whose influence you could never really shake off.

what does it mean to have autonomy when your life is never truly yours?

lobotomy corporation and library of ruina, aka: Who Wants To Be Part Of The Torture Nexus ? Try Now !

#pikasks #long post #projmoon #THIS IS . HEAVILY ABRIDGED. STILL LONG POST. #IHAD TO REWRITE TH SPOILER PORTION. THREEE TIMES. WROTE IT HALF ASLEEP ALSO. #IAM SO SERIOUS THO IAM LEAVING OUT SO SO MUCH. i dont want to write a whole actual essay because i Will and ouhghghg #i tried to pick at context and thematic setup for angies character to get a Base Understanding of why shes Like That but #again. im leaving so much out. #she is such a fantastically written character and i will never ever be over it. #PLEAS at the very least consider looking at th series at face value bc its WRITING.............. THE WRITING. #OK. THANKYOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE. <33

[slymanner]

God dude these two scenes and how roxie moves hurt my heart so so bad 🥹

it's like a mix of anger, feral, emotional breakdown, and complete sadness that just fucks me up soooo fucking bad.

it's like she's a pet who got abandoned by their owner but they see them again after years of sadness and depression of them being gone and leaving them like that and all that anger and sadness just manifest's into one bundle of emotion's towards them they cannot control.

roxie baby ur gonna be okay u deserve better :[

#scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim spoilers #scott pilgrim takes off #roxie richter #ramona flowers #its the fucking fact throughout that whole scene after the hammer she just starts going COMPLETELY feral and just bawl her eyes out #throughout the whole irl fight until the movie shelf falls on them 🥹 #can she like #get a hug or something i get her so so much i get u gurl im so sorry u gotta go through this #this episode really just #shows how important closure is for a relationship/even a friendship #like of course it depends on the person and the relationship but man. #People don't realize how important it is to not just leave a person behind like that without explanation but instead give them closure about #it and telling them how you feel. #it really is as simple as that sometimes...and i think people forget that and just wanna ghost/leave as fast as possible #to not deal with the emotions of the situation. #Like both roxie and ramona finally just talking about the situation does sm for their future as friends and i loveeee ittt #so so much better then the comics version off them I feel like this is PERFECT. #again obviously theres just some situations where talking just doesnt work and you both just have to move on. #but when theres situation's like roxie and ramona? talking is needed. #talking/closure is so so important guys remember that when its needed. <3

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode

#house md #prince's talk tag #flashing #repitition #so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode #so i wanted to see how many times they did it #the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do #thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day #sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning' #i did not include those instances #there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show #but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it #where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that #i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh #one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there #out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are #House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park #this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own #there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this #there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time #EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies' #Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot' #which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title #but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time #well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video #I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it #AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe

[introspectivememories]

god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"

#tim fully sober now: what do you mean? i'm right here bear #bear still drunk: i got you for almost a whole year last time. how long before you leave this time? #bear: 2 years? 6 months? #tim sadly: you can have me forever bear #bear laughing: i don't even get you that long in my dreams #bear smiles reaching out to poke tim's face: don't worry tim! anytime you want to come back‚ i'll be right here. #god tim who's constantly leaving and bear who knows but cant help letting him comeback into his life again and again #you cannot tell me that bear went to that first date in urban legends expecting tim to stay #he went to that date expecting to get his heart broken again but he loves this boy so he goes anyway #tim who always leaves and bear who waits patiently everytime #sorry im like sobbing in the library #bear is so 'right where you left me' coded #bear who loves tim so much he'll let tim break his heart again and again #head in hands head in hands #dc #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #timber

[mortiscausa]

i can't stop thinking how funny it would be if gareth's brothers did in fact recognise him and were just like 'well clearly he has his reasons so let's all be good big bros and pretend we don't know him' and then spend the next few weeks before he goes off on his quest pretending extremely badly that they have never ever met this kitchen boy before nope not at all even while other knights are looking at them and looking at gareth and going 'hmmm'

#gawain can't resist giving weird brotherly pep talks every time he passes him like 'keep up the good work kid! we're all rooting for you!' #and then turns to ragnelle to whisper loudly 'that was ok that was normal and convincing right' while she rolls her eyes #gaheris bumps into him in a corridor and startles like a deer and is like 'hahaha random kitchen boy i certainly have never met before what #fine weather we are having in these parts hahaha i shall be leaving now through the door over there good bye' and then #walks into a broom cupboard and has to awkwardly back out again while gareth stands there #holding a broom that he was just about to put back in the broom cupboard #agravaine nearly manages to pass by without incident while gareth is scrubbing floors but at the last second brotherly instinct takes over #and he kicks the bucket of suds over yelling 'you missed a spot dickwad!' before sprinting away #gareth is just 'wow my brothers are bigger freaks and weirdos than i remember i don't want to be associated with these losers' #meanwhile arthur is like 'kay can you please just tell them all that you know who he is because i cannot take this farce much longer' #kay: ... oh so now im not allowed to have fun am i? fucking tyrant

[humanmorph]

(transcript by @violentandmagnificent)

It’s quiet here, living in your head. It’s quiet here, and when I talk, you listen, at least when you can hear me, which isn’t always. It isn’t always, but it’s better than never. It’s quiet here, living on this ship. It’s quiet here, and I remember when it was loud, I remember different voices bouncing in these halls, I remember old arguments, I remember myself. I wonder how much I can tell you; because  I can tell you; I have much to say. But you never saw me astride the Prophet’s Path, beside the Resin Heart, imparting wrath and play. So who am I? You only know what they’ve told you. So who am I? You only know what’s written down. So who am I? You only know what’s on recordings, and according to the world, I’m a hypocrite, or drowned. I doubt you can hear me, but I know that she can. So pardon my frustration, I’m just tired of her plan. I lost my life long before I understood, before metaphor became real, before I felt the wheel’s wood. I wonder what she’ll tell you. I wonder what she’ll share.  I wonder what she’ll ask of you, what task of sweat and prayer.  I long to sweat and pray, a body in the day. The color of the sun. The touch, the ocean's spray.  The last thing that I felt in life. (The first thing that I felt in life.) The touch, the ocean's spray.  I hope she tells the truth to you. (I hope she tells the worst to you.) The touch, the ocean's spray.  I loved her like she told me to. (I left her like she told me to.) The touch, the ocean's spray.  We’re running out of time, you know? (She’s running out of time, you know?) The touch, the ocean's spray.  I fear we might be mirrored, two echoes of a call shouted between two queens, two queens who want it all. I fear we might be symmetry, I fear we might be one. Make her tell the truth to you before we come undone.

PALISADE 37: Reach In / Reach Out Pt. 1

#palisade #palisade spoilers #gur sevraq #i checked and i dont think anyones uploaded this one yet? #still havent listened to the episode proper btw. #possibly unwise to post this since i might see spoilers in the tags but whateverrrrrr gur sevraq. #i have an animatic rattling around in my head & like. im not doing that. but oooohhh #friends at the table #is it ocean spray or ocean's spray? it doesnt really matter truly but the s sound is so sharp to me... hrm. #thank you to ellis violentandmagnicifent again. i messed around w the linebreaks a bit but its hard... #its this weird balance between 'this is what it sounds like to me' vs 'but it looks strange (?!??)' #i really like the one at 'I wonder how much I can tell you; because '. thats a really good one. leaving it as is #it hits both (looks cool + captures the intonation used) #tbh this is also making my fingers itch to write it out how i did it on my long road to palisade intro comic #like. in a fun way. #long post

[purpleshadow-star]

Here's a reminder that ANDREW DOES HEAL AND LEARN TO FEEL. Nora never said that Andrew never heals or that he doesn't get less apathetic. She said the opposite, actually. If you don't like the extra content, that's fine, but please actually read it before deciding to spread the incorrect assumptions people have made up about it. Just because Andrew never gets to the point where he smiles and laughs all the time doesn't mean he doesn't heal.

(Also, Nora never said Andrew never smiles, just that it's hard to imagine, and if he did, it'd be with only Neil around)

#sorry i saw someone trying to claim that nora said andrew never heals again #i absolutely hate it when people say that cause it's just not true #the ec actually has some good stuff in it and i wish people would check it out and decide on their own whether or not they like it #instead of just listening to what others say about it (especially when theyre saying things that arent true) #anyway the ec is linked in the post #go check it out #ive linked all my sources so i can PROVE im not lying #sry im getting heated about this i just hate the misinformation #like i love aftg so much so people saying incorrect things about it rubs me the wrong way #especially when it's so easy to fact check it #this isnt me saying everyone should love all of the ec cause there are parts that i choose to ignore too #just give it a chance and take what you want and leave the rest #k im done now #justice for the extra content #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #andreil #nora sakavic #aftg extra content #extra content

[miciiq]

Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!

He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now

#This is actually from 10 days ago but i forgot to post it so #I started on the 20th and i just got to equilibrium 3 #Im at the part where we should leave luofu but we visit a few friends we made along the way or smth #Im so happy hes my first limited 5 star i love him #Hes my second oshi after dan heng or maybe even my first #I want to change the voicing to english for aventurine but i cant bring myself to abandon ito kento as dan heng #Maybe i can just change it to en for most of penacony and change it back when jing yuan and dan heng somehow appear #Ugh im still regretting missing out on jing yuan voiced by cyyu #But Ito kento #But i also like english dan heng too omg #Oh i also want to hear eng dr ratio bc he acts slightly differently towards aventurine compared to like jp #Like he sounded much more uh passionate in the aventurine keeping up with star rail video and i was living for it #hsr #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail #Aventurine #aventurine hsr #star rail aventurine #Hm idk im not sure if i should skip all 4 characters in 2.2 and after that (firefly and jade etc) #I have almost 100 tickets saved rn but like im not rly sure ab pulling for any of them #Idk im not really attached to any of the characters rn #Maybe i should wait for ruan mei? I don’t particularly love her tho shes inhumane but pretty idrc #Firefly and robin are apparently rly good but i feel like im baiting myself everytime i read another reddit thread and watch another video #Like idk the only 5 stars i have are yanqing dr ratio and aventurine all e0s0 and i dont feel like pulling for topaz either (boothill idk) #im really tempted to pull for jingliu but im probably going to pull for dhil maybe next year when he reruns just bc i like him so again idk

[harvestmoth]

more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw

#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page #i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out #oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now #anyways!! #i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot #oh well #pokemon rejuvenation #does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot #she still has it to me.. #to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon #anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it #i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later. #oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad #i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them #and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message. #that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place #anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode. #i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much... #sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night #i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter #wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave #also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these

[homosekularnost]

pov youre having another meeting with the annoying academics & this person in the back looks kinda familiar

#im abt to reread network effect just for this does she know what it looks like???? do you think shell ever find out what happened????? #my dream for leonide is for system collapse to irrevocably alter her worldview and she finds herself unable to do her work as efficiently #cause shes constantly wondering what the secunits are thinking about the people etc etc she starts trying to make conversation with them #she ends up getting rescued by mbs humans again when the secunits take over the be ship and leave her on some colony #and then when shes unemployed (because she lost sm equipment or whatever) and forced to take up a job at pumnt they do tell her #& then she doesnt talk to anyone for twenty days #(also shes fucking. like so much.) (<- in any fic writer is taking inspo. please note) #the murderbot diaries #system collapse #system collapse spoilers #leonide #three #my art

[heysweetheart-writes]

Few times in my life I wished for something SO badly. I didn't think we'd get a second chance at a premier. Couldn’t imagine how but it's happened and in the best way, with a whole event to show them how deserving they are of an Emmy nom.

Just like Taylor said, it's a very special project and it changed a lot of people's lives, both the book and movie and they deserve this and so do we. ❤️🤍💙

#rwrb #rwrb fyc panel #red white & royal blue #red white and royal blue #im having a lot of feelings okay? #but fr this time last year i didnt want to get out of bed or leave my house or do anything really #and then i read the book and i met people here and the movie came out #it means so much to me they made me want to live my life again #OKAY ENOUGH SAP

[b4kuch1n]

fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head #hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got #blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well #these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol #hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!! #its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed #u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell #hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best #if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand #I'll be normal now I prommy (lying) #well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again #eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife #hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart #have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative

[murdleandmarot]

A quick bluebelle painting :))

#when I had this hairstyle I gave up doing the braids after like 2 week #ngl it’s really difficult #anywayyyyyy bluebelle ilyyyyy 💙💙💙💙 #DO NOT look at her left hand pls and thank youuuuuu #I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHERE I WANT TO GO WITH HER STORY YIPEE‼️‼️‼️‼️ #do I have it written down or finalized yet?????? absolutely not #but I have the skeleton #I have to construct the flesh and the sinew #sigh the horror writer in me will literally never leave <333 #live laugh love you sapphic cannibalism story I wrote you will forever be famous #so I figured something cool out about being half deaf #when I use my headphones #I only have to use one so when that one runs out of battery #I can just put the other one in!!! #but ✨backwards✨✨ #guys I love the lady of shallot she’s so bluebelle coded #IM FINALLY WORKING ON AN ACTUAL PROJECT AGAIN #it’s another oc painting….but more of them at once….. #I’ve never embarked on such an adventure before #I’m having so much fun #I need to shut up oh my god 😭😭😭 #shamelessly oc posting #you can do whatever you want forever!! (except when it’s me lmaoooo) #okay okay okay Bluebelle you will be FOREVER famous 💙💙 #cats the musical #cats musical #cats oc #jellicle oc #sorah’s silly scribbles

[jekyllnahyena]

eat your young

#cw blood #cw gore #juliette regard dione #ajekyllsart #the first time i heard the song i almost virbrated with how much it represents juliette #i did start making her out of pettiness but then also for going a bit into the horros that is being in the military #and how she herself is both the eaten and the eater #she only started to find herself once she really started looking outside of it #but she still never wants to leave. still believing in the things she does in a very fucked up way #shes basically cannibalising herself at this point and will continue to do so till she either steps away #or dies in her line of duty and thus having finally eaten herself to completion #i just heard the song again today and had to draw her #i had another thing that was wwwaaayy cleaner and had a full on banquet table n shit #too bored of it to finish that one #anyway im rambling

[milkweedman]

Hi, you said in your bio that you're chronically ill. I was wondering if you had any tips for knitting with chronic pain (assuming that's your flavour of chronic illness)? Or do you know anyone who could give me advice?knitting/sewing is my sanity-saver.

I use compression gloves, only knit with specific weights of yarn (the ones that are the least painful for me), and try to take frequent breaks, which for me looks like switching hobbies every 30 minutes or so (knitting to spinning to knitting, etc). I also do my best to be very gentle on my joints when i can, altho i honestly rarely have the choice at work.

Personally i have joint problems and migraines, so thats what im correcting for/trying not to make worse. Helpful advice probably varies depending on what youre trying to correct for. Really my only general advice is "when it starts to hurt, try to stop" and "if possible, save the painfully difficult stuff for when youre doing well, and make the easier stuff your usual work"

If anyone who sees this has got other tips please feel free to comment them

#i havent knit socks in a while and i realized my last wrist and thumb issue flare up was the last time i did socks #and also right now when im doing socks again #which is making me think maybe my wrists are better than i thought generally speaking but knitting just destroys them #socks specifically i tend to zone out with and ignore pain signals #idk what to do with that info tho. i guess knit fewer socks :( #anyway there may be some things like that which you can save for when youre feeling comparatively well #but chronic pain isnt actually my issue and i can and will work thru pain to the continual degradation of my joints #so rly the joints getting worse is what my problem is #so i dont know how much if any of this is helpful to you #sorry im replying right before i need to leave for work and thru a migraine so. might try and think of something more helpful and update #my answer #chronic illness

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hello helloo! i just read through your modern au and I'm in love (shocker), i wanted to ask if you'd give some more info on poppy? apologies if there's already a dedicated post to her, looking is not my specialty

there is not! i will gladly ramble!

~

in this au, Poppy is slightly less fearful than canon. this is for several reasons! 1) years of therapy. 2) anxiety meds. 3) teenage years of her friends dragging her out for Shenanigans & hyping her tf up! but she's still a worrywart! she's very cautious! she can and Will see the bad/dengerous side to every situation. but! now she has the tools to not only cope with but combat her intrusive thoughts & fears <3

i think i mentioned it before but she Did Not Realize she was trans until highschool! specifically, when she met Sally! Poppy had to stop by the theater department after school for some reason or another, and Sally noticed her looking longingly at the costume dresses (Poppy thought she was alone lol)

and while Poppy was mortified at being caught, Sally was delighted. they only knew each other in passing and from reputation but Sally started holding up dresses to Poppy and complimenting how well they suited her. (i could joke about how Sally could sniff out the lesbian in her before Poppy even knew she was a girl!) Poppy, flustered by the sudden attention and apparent acceptance, didn't know how to handle it and fled. then started avoiding Sally in the halls. but! eventually she had to go back for Insert Reason Here, and ofc Sally was there. this time around Sally is a little gentler and less assertive, but manages to coax Poppy into checking out the more ~feminine~ costumes again. thus begins their little meetings where Poppy tries on costumes and Sally is her biggest hypeman

it takes a while for things to Click in Poppy's mind! it isn't until she tries on a dress that Sally custom-made for her, wearing some makeup and a wig, that Poppy has her oh moment. unfortunately, some of their ~mutual friends~ (Wally, Barnaby, Howdy) walk in on them. there's a short, terrifying moment where Wally is all "who's your friend, Sally?" and Barnaby has to lean over to let him know "that's Poppy, bud". before Poppy can fully freak out, Wally immediately goes OH! and starts complimenting how pretty she looks. Barnaby chimes in next to ask if the dress is home-made bc it fits Poppy beautifully, Howdy nabs a necklace from the nearby gathered accessories and put it on her to "tie the outfit together". in short! Poppy finds nothing but support from her buddies & they're more than happy to help her figure out this new internal crisis / revelation

then of course eventually she's found out by her family, which goes very well (im using sarcasm! it goes terribly!). Poppy isn't outright disowned or kicked out or in immediate danger, but her relationship with her family is ruined by their transphobic bigotry. her friends have her back throughout this, and the guest room at the Beagle farm is always open to her! Sally continues to make custom clothes for Poppy (something that becomes a love language for the two of them <3).

honestly, this period in Poppy's life is part of what like... idk... strengthens her, in a way? her continuing to be herself and actively rebelling against her family, i mean. Poppy becomes a pretty stellar liar lol (lying to her parents about where she's going, who she's hanging out with, what she does after school, etc). she's very cautious about all of it, but she does it! she's determined to pursue and discover and Realize the woman inside her! i have this sweet scene in my mind of the Group at the Beagle farm chilling on the floor with notebooks, brainstorming on possible names. (Sally enthusiastically says a variation of 'exquisite' to each one, and then when Poppy says 'im not sure about that one' Sally - still enthusiastically - says a variation of 'horrible terrible how could you suggest such an ill-fitting name'). despite everyone's efforts, i like to think that Poppy finds her name entirely on accident! maybe during the Gap Year Road Trip! maybe they stop by a SoCal poppy reserve in superbloom and the flowers Resonate with her! who's to say!

but Poppy begins her (medical) transition in college! she, of course, gets shit for it, but she also begins to find community and enjoyment in the local queer community. and of course, she has her buddies <3

but anyway! i like to think that Poppy participates in local farmer's markets with her crochet work & baked goods, the latter of which is a complete hit! that, plus her first experience with going to a tearoom inspires her to strive towards owning her own! tearooms are right up her alley, i'd say - calm, quiet, and Poppy can make peoples' days a little brighter with a tranquil atmosphere & delicious treats! i swear i have a reason between 'Poppy british = she goes into tea business'. honestly! tearooms are more about the tiny sammies & tasty cones w/ cream! and feeling Fancy while chatting!

i think it takes a while for her to actually be able to start up a tearoom. I'd imagine she starts by holding a small, single-table reservation-based one in her own place once the Group decides on what town to move to. it's successful, slowly (but steadily) grows, until she can get an actual House and transform the ground floor into a full tearoom. lil shop by the checkout counter, several different rooms, a sizeable kitchen. staff! the tearoom is a humble one, but it's a killer holiday & tourist destination! the high ratings even bring in people from out of town!

and when it comes to Poppy & Sally, bc yall know i'm a sucker for Popstar - i like to think that they start dating after (mostly) all of them move into their new town. & after they both have been in prior relationships! and then they never stop dating. well, they do, but that's so that they can upgrade to Wife Status. and then they never stop being wives so there <3

but Poppy is successful and happy! she had a rough go of it but she Makes It! and she continues to make it!

#i hope this Suffices! #ofc the ~lore~ in my mind is a lil more complex #but its Too Much to fully write out yk yk #giving her a tearoom was uhhhhh a bit of Personal Indulgence i will admit! #i used to have a tradition with my mother/grandma/sister where we'd all go to a tearoom once a year #but then grammie bit the dust (or rather - got turned into it) and that tradition uh. kinda stopped #i have very fond memories! i'd like to go to one again someday! perhaps with friends! #so when i was thinking 'what modern day profession would suit poppy' i do think owning a high english tearoom would fit #theres also just a level of personal influence to that ahaha #also if i went to a nice tearoom and the owner was a gorgeous 6'8 woman. ough. thats all im gonna say about it. ough <3 #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #sally likes to waltz into the tearoom while poppy is working to buy One (one) little box of tea and also flirt over the counter for an hour #and there's an upstairs room reserved for Poppy & her friends!! #it's free for them to use at any time! #though they still always pay. they have a lil game with poppy where she tries her best to refuse #but they manage to sneak the payment past her anyway #or they so happen to 'leave a tip that just so happens to be the exact payment' on their chair #on top of the tearoom she also supplies some baked goods for Howdy's shop #it was something they started when she was first getting her lil business off the ground #it evolves into just 'poppy bakes a batch of muffins as her morning ritual and sends them to howdys' #she supplies more when she can! or when she stress bakes! or when she and frank stress bake together! the entire group gets fresh tasties!