#admittedly kristen is one of them but i have more
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Any riddler's
W anti-villain/villain crush getting caught under a mistletoe.
(I can't believe that even though I'm in another hyperfixation I still act like a high schooler having a crush when it comes to riddleman)
Mistletoe trapping
Edward Nygma X Reader
Ooooh 👀 this is bound to get interesting
💚 Young Justice
First of all, HE DIDN'T MEAN TO--
Second of all... The timing was a little too perfect, since he pulled you away to confess but what the fuck, what if you rejected him???
Based on his looks, it was unintentional. Trust me, you'd know, he is looks like he's about to cry. You really can't fault anyone for this, except for those who placed the damn trap from above the doorway.
"Ah-- ahem I— y-you don't— we don't have to—"
"Well, it's tradition," you shrugged, still eyeing the mistletoe with murderous intent. "Let's get this over with."
Gripping a handful of his fist, you tug him closer and press harder than he had anticipated... He knows it was the pent up rage to find whoever placed the damn kiss trap on the door, but he was not about to complain.
Edward had no time to reciprocate, before you were off to consult the cameras to see who decorated this place and give them hell, leaving him red in his spot.
Well... His confession can wait.
💚 Batman Unburied
Ohohoho this magnificent bastard. You know it's intentional.
He's this casual little fucker who will just randomly walk you around when he's rambling, then suddenly he looks up, prompting you to look up as well, then spot the dreaded thing strung up in the ceiling, then you look down to see this bitch smiling in accomplishment.
Pa-simple pa, amputa.
"Oooh~ looks like—"
"I thought you don't like following traditions?" You countered.
"I hate myself, but you don't see me ending it all."
You furrowed your brow at him. "The fuck does that have to do with--"
"Listen, I know several guys, gals and others waiting for us to kiss just so they can drag their unfortunate someone under the very same hall. Now can we?"
Staring a hole through his skull, you relent with a sigh. Edward excitedly puckers his lips and closes his eyes, waiting for your response. Rolling your eyes at his antics, you gave him a peck. He opens his eyes filled with disappointment.
"That's it?"
"Beggars can't be choosers." You shot back at the pouting Eddie, who's game you've beaten. Admittedly, you know you will only stir the fire from within and give him more of a fight to have a proper kiss with you. And hey, while the night's still young.
💚 Gotham
"Mx. L/N?" Peaks the bespectacled dork through the doorway of your office with wide, wandering eyes.
"Yes, Mr. Nygma?" Your head arose from the rows of tall paper work on your desk, only your eyes visible to Edward.
"I was wondering where you were, since everyone's gone home. There's Detective Gordon, Captain, Miss Kringle, Doctor Lee, you, me and..." He recalls from the top of his head, before concluding his thoughts with a nod. "That's it."
"Oh wow... So six of us here, huh?"
"No, it's just what I can name from the top of my head. There are more of us outside."
"Chasing that paycheck..." Or just being responsible servants of the law becHse crime does not pause at Christmas.
"Would you like to join us? Doctor Lee brought sweets."
Wanting to leave your station for awhile, take a break from seeing the same wallpaper peeling away in the corner, you grinned and stretched your arms above your head. "Count me in."
Upon walking out, you began to chat with Edward about the occurrences in the precinct. Events you weren't there to see, since you were always holed up in your office tending to reports.
"And how's Kristen?"
"Oh, she and I, we're just friends. She's right, we get along better that way,'
"Oh my gosh, good for you!" Being away from the center of the building, you often missed out on the recent happenings, imagine your shock to see Edward and Kristen attached to one another. You thought they were together now, but no.
"I know! I'm actually happier at this outcome... I just didn't know how to tell the difference between romantic and platonic back then... Till now..."
"Yeah, can be confusing..."
You trailed off, only to realise you were approaching a section of the building with a mistletoe hanging from a doorway. You hoped Edward wouldn't see it and just continue walking, but it was too late. Edward squints and points at it, even.
"Did you know mistletoe isn't a normal plant? It's parasitic, meaning it has to grow in other trees to survive! Gross in rough clusters, giving the appearance of sprouting magically from tree branches. It takes the nutrients and water from the tree it grows on."
... yeah.
As you stood staring at it, you feel his lips against your cheek.
"And it's a bad luck to not kiss when underneath it."
"You planned this, didn't you?" Cheeky bastard.
"I'm pretty sure it's placed there by Lee and Detective Gordon."
Returning the favour, you press a kiss on the corner of his lip, before dragging him off the hallways before he can process anything.
"Come on, I wanna see what sweets Lee brought."
#edward nygma#riddler x reader#dc x reader#edward nygma x reader#dc x you#edward nigma#request#young justice riddler#young justice riddler x reader#gotham edward nygma#gotham edward nygma x reader#batman unburied riddler x reader#batman unburied riddler#absolutelysmittensimp
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SARIA BLAST
List for reference:
Saria x Gladiia x Kal'tsit (you can break this up into its constituent ships)
Saria x Penance
Saria x Whislash
Saria x Ho'olheyak
First up is Saria and some women older than her.
Sariia (Saria x Gladiia):
I like the idea of an intelligent, strong, hypercompetent, silver-haired, nigh-indestructible woman falling for an even more intelligent, hypercompetent, silver-haired, nigh-indestructible woman. Also they’re both over six feet tall, there is no way they’re both under six feet according the the game. You’ve also got that sweet Land x Sea dynamic going on.
I think it would start as months or years of them staring at each other intensely at formal events until one of them cracks.
You can also put some Saria x Kal'tsit in there for some Calcium x Calcite action. Also the smartest silver-haired polycule on Terra.
And of course, I’m assuming that Gladiia/Kal'tsit is happening at all times.
Anyways, more Saria ships:
Saria x Penance. Two women in positions of moderate power, in roles designed to protect people, kept from that role by the meddling of other forces which has gone ignored by those supposed to provide oversight. Also middle-aged woman yuri. (Saria is canonically 34, but I refuse to believe she is younger than 40. Well, Kristen is canonically 34 and they went to college together.)
Also, because Kristen isn’t confirmed dead, Penance could advise her on the divorce. Apparently Saria only needs to make it public knowledge and have a reasonable chance of Kristen seeing it, according to a quick search on divorcing absent, living partners.
Oh yeah, throw Kristen x Saria in there, but we know that’s pretty much canon.
Next is Zoria (Whislash x Saria). This one started out as a typo when trying to type Zofia. They’re both women who had days they look upon with fondness, now torn from them, with no way to go back. Also Zofia is single and Saria is… newly single. I haven’t read much regarding the Nearls. This ship is my least thought out.
Finally: Saria x Ho'olheyak. This one started when I saw the CG of Ho'olheyak grinning widely as Saria pinned her to the wall by the throat (same), but there’s actually something there.
If you interpret Saria as a woman haunted by her past (like in DramaticGaze’s “A Dance”), Ho'olheyak could either provide a strange comfort as a woman who has quite literally had her future torn from her for the sake of the past or they could end up in manipulative toxic yuri. AND it’s middle-aged woman yuri!
Saria/Gladiia: Sorry, don't see it. They're kinda similar, but from such different worlds and not in a way that interests me like Susie/Gladiia... and the thing about Land/Sea applies to Gladiia and 90% of the cast.
Saria/Kal'tsit: Didn't really get sparks between the two of them when they talked in the manwha. Similar missions, but live in entirely different worlds, can't see it.
Saria/Penance: In terms of crack ships I am more interested in this one, I think there's a bit more chemistry there but I'd need to see like, a story around it to be convinced.
But I do have to say (and no hate when I say this): Penance is not middle aged, it's never been confirmed she's middle aged, and I know saying 'she doesn't look middle aged' in a gacha game means nothing, but she doesn't! I don't think her age is elaborated on anywhere, but she's treated as the new generation in Siracusa alongside Vigil (who is like early 20s at most), so I don't know where this idea of her being in her 40s came from. Realistically, I think she's around early to mid-30s (has spent 10 years as a judge after school) but I wouldn't be surprised if we learn that she's like, 28
Kristen x Saria: Wrote a fic about it, it's the core of Lone Trail and the Manwha, it's absolutely heartbreaking, I love them.
Whislash x Saria: Self-admittedly not much here. They were meant to co-star in a sportswear skin line together though
Ho'olheyak x Saria: Oh Saria had one really unfortunate night shwants to forget about while still trying to move on from Kristen on the landship after Lone Trail and Ho'olheyak won't let her forget. Love it
#i have nothing against middle aged women I just hate fanon that everyone treats as canon#thanks for the ask anyways!! this one was kinda harsh LOL#arknights#ask game#burstmail
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While we're still on the subject on Timothy shifting focus to LS, I kinda remember seeing people complaining/mentioning that OG fans have been asking for a baseball episode but LS got them first instead. Not to mention LS's gay wedding proposal using a few notable elements of Buddie's legal guardian reveal. Not to mention LS having Bi rep first when people have been asking for Bi!Buck or Bi!Eddie, regardless of the can of worms I just opened.
I really don't want to be that person with "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset and I'm afraid you answering this will start a discourse on your back, but doesn't it feel like Timothy takes either what works on OG or what OG fans want and applies them on LS instead to boost the latter while keeping OG... what it is?
(I'm not worried about the discourse. People get mad very easily when they misinterpret the meaning behind a post and don't ask for clarification.)
Yes to the baseball episode! The Eddie fans in particular have been pushing for it due to Ryan's love of the game/his role in Everybody Wants Some!!, but LS got it because...idk. It looked "cuter" for Carlos to root against his own people for TK? It was an opportunity to revisit Owen's anger issues?
The proposal scene...boy. What makes it extra hard to digest is that Tim worked with Bob Goodman (as in, his name is in the credits) the same way he admittedly worked with Kristen to create the hospital scene.
It's pretty easy to see, in my opinion, how Tim took something from a year ago and went "What would that scene have sounded like if they were actually together?" and applied it to the canon gay couple. If Buddie were canon when that convo took place, it wouldn't have *just* been about Christopher. It would have been about Eddie not wanting to waste another moment without Buck now that he came close for a second time (just like the Tarlos proposal happened after TK & Owen talked about living in the moment because "that's all any of us have").
The sudden bi rep...you gotta laugh, almost. OG fandom is so caught up in its own feelings that not having a canonically bi Buck or Eddie meant Tim was allergic to bisexuality. Except...no, He's not. He just didn't want to make either of THOSE characters bi. He (yet again) took something from OG and found a way to make it juuuust a bit different. OG has lesbians. LS has bi and trans rep. "A little something for everyone", as they say.
There's also the way that a concerted effort is made to keep Grace and Judd connected despite their schedules, whereas OG fandom has to make excuses like "It makes sense that Madney can go more than one episode without interaction when they work different hours." Judd...literally drove to the dispatch center to check on his pregnant wife. Grace...talks to her husband while he's trying to perform a rescue. Even Sierra previously said that she believed Tim knew better than to have Judd MIA for Charlie's birth 'cause he'd get grief from the fans, but OG fan base's opinion was irrelevant when deciding to write Chimney out with no explanation? That's how it is now?
Following the 911verse has basically become a game of "If you don't like the way OG did something, just wait to see it end up on LS." Maybe being too predictable is a bad thing in this case considering LS can't keep up ratings-wise. But don't fret! The Big Gay Wedding that fans actually get to enjoy will help. 🤪 (In all seriousness, I do hope the numbers are good that week, but the effort given to Tarlos vs. the long established lesbian couple in 5x18...what exactly was I supposed to be praising Kristen for? Not making the blink-and-you-miss-it ceremony about a couple of hets?)
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10 Scariest Movies I’ve Personally Ever Seen
Last year, I wrote a post about the 10 scariest movies I’d ever seen. I’ve since seen way more movies considered to be quite scary, and I have to say many of the ones on the old list I made aren’t scary to me at all these days haha. At least in comparison to many of the new and new-to-me movies I’ve seen since I made that original list. Some of them stood the test of time and remain on the updated list, but I hope you find some new recommendations. As before, this list is ranked and not definitive. Merely my opinion. Note: It has been a minute since I’ve seen some of these, so the trigger warning lists are not exhaustive.
10. Buried (2010)
Genres: Psychological, thriller
A civilian truck driver in Iraq must work against the clock to get himself out of a buried coffin with little more than a lighter and a Blackberry.
Everything about this film is stressful. It starts stressful and doesn’t let up for the entire runtime. If you’re claustrophobic, maybe skip this one.
TW: claustrophobia
Streaming: HBO Max
9. Gaia (2021)
Genres: Horror, thriller, fantasy
A South African forestry employee takes shelter with survivalists after being attacked by mysterious creatures in the woods.
I don’t want to spoil too much, but I will just say I had a nightmare about plants growing out of the bottoms of my feet when I was a kid that sort of scarred me for life, and this movie plays on that fear. Admittedly, it is a personal reason why I find it so scary, but nonetheless, it is sure to make your skin crawl.
TW: body horror
Streaming: Hulu
8. See For Me (2021)
Genres: Thriller
A newly blind cat sitter is forced to rely on a seeing eye app in order to defend herself against dangerous intruders in the house she’s watching and unfamiliar with.
Home invasion is something that really gets under my skin personally, and I can’t imagine how terrifying it would be to have to navigate a situation like that while you’re losing the use of one of your senses. It’s not the best movie on this list, but it is quite tense.
TW: home invasion, violence
Streaming: Shudder
7. Last Night in Soho (2021)
Genres: Horror, thriller
A young modern fashion design student is mysteriously able to enter the life of her fashion idol, a 1960s wannabe singer through her dreams. As the student taps more into her muse, she learns not everything as it may seem.
On paper, it doesn’t necessarily sound terrifying, but it gets scarier and scarier as the story unfolds. Again, I don’t wanna spoil too much.
TW: SA, violence
Streaming: HBO Max
6. Host (2020)
Genres: Horror, found footage, supernatural
A group of friends hold a seance over Zoom to entertain themselves and spend time together during lockdown when a malicious spirit starts messing with them.
I’ll just leave what I typed for the original post: This entire film was written and produced during lockdown. Maybe that’s part of what makes it so scary. It uses one of the functions we found vital to stay connected during lockdown: Zoom chat. How terrifying would it be if you were talking to your friends over Zoom, they were being attacked, and there was nothing you could do about it? It really utilizes the format for its scares with its “less is more” mentality.
TW: gore
Streaming: Shudder
5. The Strangers (2008)
Genres: Horror, home invasion, psychological
James takes his partner, Kristen, to the family vacation home for a relaxing weekend away that quickly sours due to random acts of harassment and violence.
The realism and arbitrary nature of the situation are what make this film terrifying.
TW: home invasion
Streaming: Nowhere rn
4. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Genres: Horror, found footage, supernatural, psychological
Three college kids head into a forest in Maryland in an attempt to make a documentary about a local cryptid for a college film course when the subject of their film takes an interest in them.
Your imagination is far scarier than anything shown on screen, but that’s what’s scary about it. You can’t see exactly what’s happening, and the confusion and uncertainty are what cause you discomfort.
TW: gore
Streaming: Hulu, HBO Max
3. Get Out (2017)
Genres: Horror, psychological
Chris goes upstate with his girlfriend for a weekend to meet her parents. Things are weird at first, which Chris perceives as racial awkwardness, but more and more disturbing discoveries begin to unravel as the weekend goes on.
This film is a disturbing reminder of how far people can, do, and would take racism. It’s also an exploration into how horrifying the loss of bodily autonomy is (a reality for some).
TW: racism
Streaming: Nowhere rn
2. The Invisible Man (2020)
Genres: Horror, thriller, scifi
Cecilia runs away from her abusive ex-partner, then soon after finds out he’s dead. Weird things start happening to her as she tries to put her life back together in the aftermath of their relationship.
Honestly, this is one of the most terrifying things as someone with mental illness, a history of being abused, and just as a woman. The camerawork is some of the best I have seen in my life. It and the music are *so* terrifying. I cannot recommend this movie enough.
TW: abuse, psych unit, self h*rm
Streaming: Nowhere rn
1. The Night House (2020)
Genres: Horror, psychological, supernatural
Beth is left alone to deal with her grief in her lakeside house after the death of her husband. Strange things begin to occur as she slowly uncovers disturbing secrets about a house he recently built.
I can’t really explain why this one freaks me out so badly. Definitely not without spoiling it, but also it scares me on a deeply existential level that I wouldn’t really be able to describe anyway, I don’t think. This might be one that you’d just have to watch and see for yourself. What scares me about this film is deeply personal. It captures a familiar desperate emptiness that I've tried so hard to hide away as my mental health has gotten better. It forces me to face something I don't want to face. But that's what makes the horror genre, dare I say it, something that can be so personal. It really is based on the life experiences we have that determine what we find to be the scariest.
TW: s*icide
Streaming: HBO Max
And that was my revamped list of scariest movies I’ve ever seen. And all of them are actually movies this time! Lol. Like I said, this is just my opinion. What we find scary is based on our individual life experiences. What do you think? What are the scariest movies *you’ve* ever seen? Are any of the ones on my list also on yours? Let me know! Hopefully you were able to add one or two of these to your Halloween watchlist this year. Happy spooky season!
#Horror Movies#thriller movies#top 10#scariest movies#buried 2010#gaia 2021#see for me#last night in soho#host 2020#The Strangers#the strangers 2008#the blair witch project#get out#get out 2017#the invisible man#the night house#Halloween#spooky#spooky season#happy halloween#halloween 2022#tw#scary movies#horror#streaming#shudder#movie recommendation
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I heard about that one au. With Grian who knows Minecraft mechanics but nobody else does-
Sounds interesting. Please give
(If you still wanna share it)
Boy am I glad you asked!!!!!
So the premise is that grian’s a watcher and kind of a god? Sorta? At least partially. And he’s been building on a private server of his (as one does) for a few millennia, and he starts to get a little bored, and decides to join a multiplayer server, because player interaction is good every once in a while. And it’s been forever since he’s seen kristen (the goddess of death) so he joins her server!
But when he joins, he notices that everything’s a little. Strange? He didn’t get a communicator on login (which always happens, so he’s very confused) and when he asks some players walking by they look at him weird and ask if he means a ‘phone’ (which he has no clue what that is). Plus, everything’s just kinda… odd. Off. The lighting’s too dim for a place with that many people (which, wow), there are barely any trees and no one’s punching any (even when some say they need wood for a project they just walk past), and no one’s using their inventories.
So grian checks out the details of the server, and hardcore is on. He’s confused at how this many people are still playing with hardcore on, especially with skipping nights by sleeping off, and with such poor lighting. And there’s a huge death count to something called ‘old age’, which he’s never heard of before, and the server-wide pain reception is set to max, and apparently no one had logged in and all of them were bred like passive mobs??? And the only reason he could join like normal was because he was a god and kristen had whitelisted him before the changes were made?????? At least it’s on peaceful mode???
As grian has a very minor meltdown on a bench a chunk away from the empty lot of land that is spawn (which was even more confusing because there’s always some sort of welcome at spawn) and this very polite man with a lovely mustache who introduces himself as mumbo (though grian can see that, since even though name tags are turned off too, he can still see it due to watcher/god) asks if he’s alright, then offers to house grian until he finds a job and can get his own place.
Grian, while at first a little confused at having to buy a house (why not just build one?), he does quickly come to learn that the land costs ‘money’ (why not just use diamonds as currency, like everyone on every server ever??), so the next day (mumbo insisted that he sleep for some reason) he announced that he was going mining a thousand blocks out or so, and left to find a relatively untouched piece of land (leaving a very confused mumbo jumbo in his wake).
He mines for most of the day, and due to the server being on peaceful mode, he is unbothered by monsters, and though he’d assumed that there wouldn’t be anything valuable left to mine due to all the players, all the recourses were practically untouched! Which is also worrying, but he won’t complain if it makes him wealthy! So he returns to mumbo’s home, already having forgotten that land costs ‘money’, and asks mumbo where and how he should build, as the city has a general cohesiveness that he doesn’t want to interfere with.
So mumbo reminds his new friend(?) about the cost of land, and the existence of money, and takes grian to a place that would buy his numerous diamonds, all of which are carbon copies of each other, to a place that would buy them for a fair price, and not ask how he got his hands on them, or how they’re all indistinguishable from one another.
Thus, mumbo whisks grian away to a pawn shop that is admittedly quite seedy, and run by a man named quackity. At first, the man seems to think he’s being targeted by a shabbily-made scam, but once mumbo convinces him to test the diamond’s validity, he becomes thrilled to buy each and every one, his grin somehow widening with every diamond confirmed real. He didn’t ask where the diamonds came from (in a literal sense, as grian brought them out of his inventory one-by-one), and mumbo didn’t ask how buying all these diamonds wasn’t making him bankrupt. A fair trade in many ways.
So grian then uses his new money to buy the largest adjacent plots of land available (which is quite a few, in the richest-people section of the city, where very few people live, which is on the edge of the city and pretty much the middle of nowhere), and he gives half of the rest of the money to mumbo as thanks for helping him out, then sets off to build his new home!
~visual signal that the rest of this is no longer part of the story~
At present, I have 10,761 word of bullet notes of plot points, so I have a full plan for what will probably end up being ~50k words at minimum to the most recent events I have planned, since I tend to drabble on, plus I’ll have to be less vague for… everything! Even what I’ve written here’ll be expanded on a lot when I write it for real, I’m just really excited to talk about it :D
Thank you so much for the ask!! I’ve been wanting an excuse to talk about it for a while, and I’ve only now realized that talking about the stuff I really want to would be spoiling it. But I have so much planned, and it includes so many things!!! I’ll want a beta reader to make sure my plan is coherent first, but even without one, I’ll get it done eventually.
:)
#grian#minecraft#fanfiction#minecraft fanfiction#there’s a lot of series included in the fic so I think it would be best if I don’t mention them all#since some of them barely get a quote or two’s mention#plus I’ll have to find that one tommyinnit-centric fic before I post it to ao3 so I can give it the ‘inspired by’ it deserves#time for a few spoilers because few enough people look at the tags to make me feel like it’s secret when it really isn’t…..#there will be nether shenanigans. it’s literally he’ll come on#also grian knows every language because he’s been around since forever. sue him for downloading duolingo to pass the time#lots of building. lots and lots of building. I might actually make a Minecraft map that’s just the setting of the fic#probably not but maybe#end shenanigans & dragon shenanigans & egg shenanigans & ranboo Beloved live#also I wrote out some how-to videos on minecraft physics. by grian#almost forgot to say that this is a superhero/supervillain/vigilante fic? that too#how come vigilantes are never super? you’ve never seen a ‘super’ vigilante. they’re always just heroes but illegal or villains that help#or they get hired by the heroes. which is lame#also……. minecraft monday#heehoo#my fanfiction#my fanfic writing#[|87
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Would you call Futurama a feminist show? I probably would with some exceptions. Leela and Amy are strong women, but it's so obvious that men are writing for these characters. They're nice to each other 90% of the time, but Amy makes occasional digs at Leela to remind us "haha lolz women hate each other for no reason!!" I hope the revival drops that bullshit. Also, they've been obnoxiously sexualized, and we've all seen the misogyny in "Amazon Women in the Mood" and "Neutopia" (admittedly, those episodes were misandrist, too.) In fact, "Neutopia" was one of the episodes that sexualized them, lmao. What tf was Leela wearing in that photoshoot?
But they're still strong female characters with their own agency and storylines. Amy is silly and goofy but in an endearing way, not in a "lol girls are so dumb" way. I feel like one of the Comedy Central revival's strengths is that it gave Amy more to do? She had multiple episodes centered around her. And Leela is obviously the badass starship captain. The way she defies Zapp's bullshit is hilarious, lmao. "Our love has had to endure your constant hatred!" The show never acts like she should "give him a chance" or whatever.
Leela also never takes any shit from the guys, and the joke is usually on them for being lazy idiots. I actually saw a guy on a Futurama forum (this was back in 2013) complaining that some episodes basically said "Women are better than men at everything." I wouldn't go that far, especially with the issues that I mentioned above, but Leela's definitely above it all, lmao.
Would I call Futurama a feminist show? That's an interesting question, and I don't have a straightforward answer. I know that Futurama mainly had male writers, though it did have a couple of female writers. I don't know if any of them returned for the Comedy Central reboot. There is only one episode where a woman is credited as the head writer: "Leela's Homeworld." It was written by Kristen Gore (Al Gore's daughter), and she did not return as a writer for Futurama when it was brought back. Disclaimer: everything I say in this essay is my personal opinion and my personal takeaway from the show.
I see male writers say that they can't write female characters well because they don't understand the "female heart" or some bullshit. That's not true because there are plenty of male writers who can write them well. Hell, a lot of female authors are shit at writing female characters too. The majority of shows, movies, books, etc. have terribly written female characters. To the point where it's a big deal when I watch something that doesn't have terribly written female characters. I also see people praise shows they like for the bare minimum.
The problem with female characters that writers of all genders seem to have is that they write them as women first and characters second. Male characters are written as characters first; they are allowed to be complex. They are not defined by terms such as "strong male character" or "male love interest." There are a number of reasons why this is an issue when writing women, but the core of it all is that many people do not view women as being human, or as unique individuals. This has been a problem with gender constructs throughout history, and it affects the media we watch.
For a feminist show, the most important thing to me would be well-written female characters. There are a number of things that need to be considered when defining a well-written female character:
Does she have a defined personality?
Does she have flaws? What are her strengths?
Does she have a character arc with character development?
Does her character arc revolve around her relationship with another man (usually romantic)?
Is she written consistently? Is she written out of character to suit the plot?
Does she have meaningful relationships outside of her male love interest?
Does she have meaningful relationships with other women?
How often is she sexualized? Is that deconstructed or commented on in any way?
Does she have agency? Does she have control over the plot?
I think a lot of people get confused about this and think "oh physically strong female characters who beat up the bad guys." With these types of female characters, you get very bland "sexy, strong" types who end up with an unremarkable male protagonist. This is defined as the "girlboss and malewife dynamic," which is often handled very poorly in my opinion. With this type of dynamic, I generally see the male character get meaningful development, while the female character is there to be the love interest (but disguised with a feminist coat of paint). The issue with dynamics like these is that they are written to be power fantasies for male viewers at the expense of quality.
Movies and shows in more recent years have a problem where an unremarkable (but secretly really special) male protagonist is handed a femme fatale or a manic pixie dream girl on a silver platter. Think Emmet from the Lego Movie or Johnny from Hotel Transylvania. Thankfully, Leela and Fry's relationship tends to avoid this for the most part. I think the biggest reason is that David X Cohen said he really didn't want Fry to end up with Leela initially, but reconsidered later in the show. Leela was not created to be a female love interest for the male protagonist; as such, she was allowed to be her own character.
Let's talk about Leela, who really surprised me as a character. I didn't know anything about her before I watched Futurama other than her having one eye and that she ended up with the MC. When I started watching the show, I found that I really liked Leela; I liked her character design, I liked her voice, I liked her friendship with Fry and Bender, and I loved her personality. I was impressed that Leela had a very meaningful character arc that wasn't defined by her relationship with a male love interest (the bar is on the ground), and instead focused on self-discovery.
Leela is written to be a deconstruction of the "strong female character" archetype. She's the pilot, she's level-headed, she's intelligent, and she's talented. In addition to being Fry and Bender's boss, she's generally the one rescuing both of them from danger. She's the only one out of the trio who can fight, and come up with escape plans. The show also respects this aspect of the status quo; Leela's job is never taken over by a male character, whereas this would be the case in other shows.
Despite Leela's tough exterior, she has a soft side. She cares deeply about protecting the innocent, particularly animals and children. She cares a lot about fighting for the rights of oppressed groups and gets involved in politics. Out of all the characters, Leela fits a classic heroic archetype the best, a role rarely given to female characters. However, she's a flawed individual as well; she has a temper and a darker side. She can make bad decisions that occasionally harm others. This is why I think Leela is a deconstruction of the strong female character archetype because you don't often see these complexities with such characters.
Leela's character arc and character development are great. She's been made to feel insecure about her appearance and status as a non-human her entire life. Throughout the show, she learns to accept that part of herself and even embrace her uniqueness, learning not to change who she is (especially for shitty men). Leela unraveling her past, the circumstances of her birth, and finally reuniting with her parents is beautiful and is one of the strongest moments in the show. Leela struggles to develop a familial relationship with them as an adult and make up for the lost time.
I think my biggest issue is that I wanted more of this. I wanted more episodes about Leela's past, her childhood, her parents, her struggles, etc. because she is such an interesting character to me. In the CC revival, we got a couple of interesting Leela episodes but didn't get enough. And I noticed a lot of episodes about Leela weren't written with the same amount of care as the earlier episodes. Another thing I noticed about Leela's character in the CC revival is her relationship with Fry. She was written out of character to create relationship drama, and I personally never got a sense of what she really wanted out of that relationship until the very end of the show.
In the Fox era, a lot of episodes about Fry and Leela's relationship are very well written. In episodes like "Love and Rocket" or "The Sting," you get a sense that Leela does reciprocate, but she's not ready for a relationship with Fry, who seems to respect that. I really liked this a lot because Leela had a traumatic past, maybe needs to work on herself, and doesn't need a partner as immature as Fry. In the CC era, their relationship felt more one-sided on Fry's end. I wanted to know more about how Leela felt; I wanted her to have more agency. The CC era started slipping into the issue where Leela started to be written less as a character and more as a plot device for certain episodes.
Now, I want to talk about Amy. I really like Amy as a character as well. You get the sense that she is feminine, yet tomboyish. She's very intelligent but dorky and clumsy. In addition, she seems to be very comfortable with her sexuality, which is a welcome choice. She's adorable and I've always liked how she seems to be a foil for Fry. Amy is the second most prominent female character after Leela, and I think she has a lot of potential as a character. The problem is that potential is never utilized. I’ve noticed it’s common for authors to write female characters (a lot of minorities as well) with a lot of potential, only to waste that potential.
I started showing one of my best friends Futurama right before I started writing for it. Amy quickly became her favorite character and she asked me which episodes were Amy-centric episodes. I had to tell her that there were barely any of them in the entire show despite Futurama having 140 episodes. Many episodes where Amy is centric to the plot are barely about her and barely develop her as a character. They are mainly about her relationship with other men as well. “Put Your Head On My Shoulders” is about her affair with Fry and “Proposition Infinity” is about her affair with Bender. “Where the Buggalo Roam” is about Kif’s insecurities.
“Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch” is also about her relationship with Kif, but it’s still a fantastic episode for Amy. It’s actually quite progressive for the time (and for being an mpreg episode), and says quite a bit about how women are pressured into motherhood. We see how Amy doesn’t truly want that, and the show doesn’t demonize her. Instead, it sends the message that women should wait until they’re ready, or they don’t need to have children at all. I think Kif being the one to get pregnant is a nice touch in my eyes, rather than forcing the burden of pregnancy onto Amy.
“That Darn Katz!” is a very mediocre episode, and it made me wish that there were more episodes about Amy like the one where Kif gets pregnant. I really enjoy Kif’s relationship with Amy a lot because he really respects Amy as a person. And then Amy truly loves Kif even if he isn’t a “conventionally attractive” guy. Their relationship feels queer to me due to the interspecies aspect and that Amy and Kif aren’t defined by rigid gender roles in their relationship. It’s honestly quite refreshing, even though the CC reboot messes up their relationship from time to time.
For the final part of this analysis, I really want to address Amy and Leela’s relationship with each other. I also think their relationship has a lot wasted potential, especially because we see how well this show writes male friendships. There are a lot of episodes about Fry and Bender’s relationship, and a great episode about Zoidberg and Farnsworth’s relationship. There is only a single episode about Amy and Leela’s relationship, and it’s a writer’s poorly disguised fetish episode: “The Butterjunk Effect.” This episode does a huge disservice to Amy and Leela’s characters by fetishizing them and turning them into abusive people.
Amy and Leela are at each other’s throats for petty and shallow reasons. Amy is constantly making fun of Leela’s appearance (something that Leela is very insecure about as I noted earlier), and Leela is incredibly jealous of the fact that Amy can get guys easily. Leela also makes some... interesting comments about Amy being more sexually active, as well as Amy’s race. I think it’s clear that Amy and Leela are both jealous of each other for one reason or another, which could be explored and developed, but it’s not. It’s merely used as a gag that gets old over time.
Instead, the audience is told that this is just what female friendships are like. Women are mean to each other and constantly fighting for the attention of guys, and are naturally shallow. The nature of to Amy and Leela’s relationship is not true to their characters at all. Amy isn’t a shallow woman, as shown through her relationship with Kif. Leela is gentle and strong-willed at heart, showing kindness to others even if it’s against her better judgement. See what I mean by female characters being written as women first and characters second? Amy and Leela’s relationship was the most disappointing thing to me when I watched Futurama.
I know that Futurama is older, but it’s not insanely old. There are plenty of ways Amy and Leela’s relationship could’ve been given a lot more depth. They could’ve had Amy look up to Leela. Leela is an older, cooler career woman who doesn’t take shit from anyone and outperforms her male coworkers. However, Amy is so starstruck around Leela that she constantly says the wrong thing, or she’s too flustered by Leela. Thus, Leela just assumes Amy hates her. Amy eventually overcomes her shyness and slowly forms a bond with Leela, who starts to mentor Amy in return. Leela begins to appreciate her relationship with Amy, as she didn’t have many close friends growing up due to the constant bullying.
I’m not saying that’s the right way to fix their relationship, but I personally think something like that is more accurate to them as characters. And it’s not a perfect relationship at first, but they start to develop nice chemistry during the show's runtime. So my answer to the initial question about Futurama being a feminist show: it could be worse. Amy and Leela are great female characters and enjoy quite a few of the minor female characters. However, I also think that Futurama really fails its female characters as well, which is a shame. I’ve seen far more misogynistic shows, but I also think people settle for the bare minimum when it comes to female characters because it’s so common for them to be poorly written.
I have faith that these issues can get fixed in the revival. First, both Amy and Leela need individual episodes. Second, maybe they could actually examine Amy and Leela’s relationship, and help them come to terms with one another. Matt Groening’s current project, Disenchantment, has a great female lead. My other favorite adult cartoon, BoJack Horseman, has wonderfully written female characters. I resonated so much with Diane; it’s very rare for me to be able to relate to a female character. All of this gives me hope for future adult cartoons and Futurama’s revival episodes. They already have the groundwork laid out with Amy and Leela, they just need to be written with the proper care they deserve.
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Leap Novel
Here comes another book roundup post, for the books I read in February 2024. What are the odds? It's amazing.
Actual book list and ramblings below the cut, so let me just say that's there's potential spoilers within for Fonda Lee's Green Bone Saga, Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series, Kristen Painter's Comarré series, and maybe more.
At the end of January I had managed to get myself a little bit ahead on my Goodreads challenge, which I usually take advantage of by knocking off one of the thick books which can sometimes clog up my shelf. (Maybe if I set my Goodreads challenge count a little bit lower, I could read more of them…but maybe at the moment this is about the right level of long books for me anyway.) This slot was for a "female diversity" book, which presented me with a few choices (for some reason I have a lot less trouble with this one than I do with the male diversity slot), and I even had three possibilities which would result in my finishing off a series…N.K. Jemisin's The World We Made, C.L. Polk's Soulstar, and the one I went with, because it was the thickest of the three…
Fonda Lee: Jade Legacy, completed February 9
I first ran across Fonda Lee at the When Words Collide festival in Calgary, where she had YA SF books like Zeroboxer and Exo, but then Jade City came out and I was intrigued. I enjoyed the first two books, which are set in an interesting alternate world which is kind of analogous to our own. The map is completely different, but most of the places map to our world if you squint. The story centers around the island of Kekon, which is vaguely Japan-coded (though, for instance, there were no nuclear bombs dropped on it in their All Nations War, so it's not exact). It's set in an era which is basically the late 20th century (people have cars and phones, but not as many computers). But there's also jade, which is special.
Many of the inhabitants of Kekon are Green Bones, which means that they can wear jade and use it to do extraordinary things--healing, telekinesis, sensing other jade users, protecting themselves, giving themselves strength, etc. Others can also use jade, but only with the help of dangerous drugs. The Green Bones have formed into various clans, and at this start of the story Kekon is mostly divided between two rivals, No Peak and Mountain, who between them dominate the Kekonese government, and are frequently engaged in bloody internecine conflict. Mostly we follow the Kaul family, the leaders of No Peak, in a family saga which makes me think of, say, James Clavell (though admittedly I've only ever watched the "Shogun" miniseries and haven't read his actual books) or maybe The Godfather (which I haven't even watched), or at least what I think they would be like.
By the third book the (surviving) main characters from the previous books are moving into middle age and we're getting a new generation rising up, and we're covering lots of other territory--particularly Espenia, the American analogue, which is in a "Slow War" with its rival Ygutan (Russia), and who is eager to use jade for their military but still forbids Kekonese immigrants from using it. The book is probably as long as the first two books in the series combined, but there are a lot of plot threads and characters to follow, and plenty of exciting scenes and satisfactory resolutions. Well done. (There is a novella set in the same world, "The Jade Setter of Janloon", which I should probably read sometimes as well.)
Arthur Conan Doyle: A Study In Scarlet, completed February 11
A few decades ago I read something called The Complete Illustrated Sherlock Holmes, a book I'd borrowed from a friend named Julia. I don't know if I'd read any actual Sherlock Holmes before then, though I was of course aware of him (how not?) and had seen bits of various adaptations. That book contained a number of stories, as well as the novel The Hound of The Baskervilles. It was years before I learned that what I had read was by no means the entirety of the Holmes cycle, and that there were in fact three other novels: A Study In Scarlet, The Sign of Four (or is it The Sign of The Four? I've seen both), and The Valley of Fear. At some point I picked up a huge coffee-table book "complete" collection, which seems like it does contain the novels as well as various collections. (Though it's not everything Doyle wrote--I have read a collection called When The World Screamed of mostly non-Holmes stories which do not seem to be in here.)
What gave me the impetus to actually maybe read them, though, was my reading, last year, of Sarah "Katherine Addison" Monette's Angel of The Crows. Not related to the magnificant The Goblin Emperor as the other Addison works have been, this was in fact an homage to Sherlock Holmes, in which the detective is an angel named Crow, in a London with other supernatural creatures such as werewolves. It became clear, as I read the book, that it was likely doing more than just "a tribute to Holmes", but that it was recasting several actual Holmes stories into this alternate supernatural London. In particular I noticed that there was a "Sign of Four", and then something that definitely reminded me of The Hound of The Baskervilles. So it was at this point that I decided to put A Study In Scarlet on my virtual shelf.
According to Goodreads, it was a mere 120 pages long--and in this monstrous collection, the pages were large enough that that was reduced to 52. So after spending so long on Jade Legacy, it seemed like a nice short change of pace, something I could polish off in a couple of days. But also, those couple of days would be on a weekend, so I wouldn't have to lug this gigantic book to and from work (I like to read at lunchtime, you see). Oh, sure, I could grab a copy from Project Gutenberg and just read that, but this seemed more convenient.
The story itself is, apparently, the one in which Holmes and Watson first meet; I wasn't even sure such a thing existed for years, that we might have just started with their relationship already established. But apparently not. And apart from that…well, it's a Sherlock Holmes mystery. As a novel it's a fairly short one, as established, and it would be even shorter if it weren't for the bizarre insertion, into the middle, of the actual backstory of the murderer and his victims, which is practically a mini-Western. It involves homesteaders in Utah, a tragic love story, and somewhat demonized Mormons (Doyle apparently apologized later for mischaracterizing them in this novel). And it really doesn't fit--there's no sense in which this is part of Watson's transcription, and the murderer, when revealed, basically gives a summary of the story which is quite sufficient. I can only presume that this was an early work and Doyle got better later.
After reading this, I skimmed over the Angel of The Crows version and discovered that the vast majority of the details were all but identical; in particular, the names of the characters involved in the mystery were exactly the same. The major differences were that the dead girl who the murderer was avenging was actually an angel in this version, and the memento he carried was an angel feather rather than a wedding ring. Oh, and that the family one of the victims was rooming with, whose son was a suspect, were actually werewolves. But apart from that, it was really quite close. So much so that, it turns out, Angel of The Crows is more similar to Pride And Prejudice And Zombies than I was expecting. …So perhaps I should let a little more time pass before I try The Sign of Four.
Guy Gavriel Kay: All The Seas of The World, completed February 16
After the Holmes story, and still needing a male-author book for my cycle, I decided I might be in the mood for a more straightforward fantasy. I briefly contemplated another thick book--Ian Esslemont, Steven Erikson, and R. Scott Bakker all have large volumes which have been stuck on my shelf for a while--but I decided I didn't really want anything that thick. Instead I spotted the most recent Guy Gavriel Kay, which was a more 500 pages (instead of 700-900) and picked that one up instead.
I've been reading Kay for a while--I don't think I read The Fionavar Tapestry trilogy when it came out, so it may not have been until Candas Jane Dorsey (again) encouraged me to read Tigana that I tried him. I did love Tigana (though it is one of the few books where I recommend skipping the prologue, which I found quite dire and mostly irrelevant to the rest of the book), and the Fionavar books as well, and have since read everything of his. I don't like all of them--A Song For Arbonne didn't land for me, or The Last Light of The Sun--but they're mostly good. Most of them are set in a fantasy Europe, and after Tigana there is very little in the way of actual magic. Often they are tied closely to real historical figures or events.
Also, though this book is not marketed as a sequel to anything, it is literally crossing over with the previous book, A Brightness Long Ago, with some of the characters showing up. It also makes reference to "Al-Rassan" from The Lions of Al-Rassan, as the "Asharites" (Muslim-coded) have now been drive out of that land by the Jaddites (Christian-coded), not to mention the expulsion of the Kindath (Jewish-coded), and it's been renamed to "Esperaña". So it seems like everything from at least The Lions of Al-Rassan onward (I don't know about A Song For Arbonne, frankly, or The Last Light of The Sun), with the possible exception of the ones set in fantasy China, are in the same fantasy Europe.
Lois McMaster Bujold: Mirror Dance, completed February 21
Returning to my Vorkosigan Saga reread… As I may have mentioned before, I inserted the Dick Francis book into my reread schedule to simulate the lengthier gap between Brothers In Arms and Mirror Dance (three years in-universe) which has caught me off guard in other rereads of the series. But this begins my favourite sub-sequence of the saga.
I was prepared to dislike Mirror Dance when I first read it. I bought a membership to the 1994 Worldcon, which was in Winnipeg, closest it had come to us, and we were (perhaps foolishly) prepared to even drive there. But then we came over all poor and couldn't afford it after all. But I had made an effort to read the Hugo nominees so I could vote informedly. For the 1995 Hugos I also read all the nominees (my 1994 membership allowed me to nominate, I believe, but not vote--did I get a voting membership? Probably not, if we were still poor), or at least four out of five of them. I read Michael Bishop's Brittle Innings, John Barnes's Mother of Storms, James Morrow's Towing Jehovah, and Nancy Kress's Beggars And Choosers…but I didn't read Mirror Dance because it was in a series and I hadn't read the others yet. I was plumping for Mother of Storms, personally. But Mirror Dance won…and I kind of resented that.
Luckily, by the time I got around to read it in the context of the series, I was willing to forgive it, and now it's one of my favourites, along with Memory and A Civil Campaign. (Komarr is also okay, I guess.) In particular, I like the middle of the book, where Mark goes to Barrayar…in fact, I'd have to say most of my favourite Vorkosigan series moments take place on Barrayar. Great scenes with Cordelia, Gregor, Ivan, and introducing Kareen Koudelka. I also like the opening chapters, where we compare and contrast Mark and Miles's impressions of the Dendarii Mercenaries.
So obviously it's a direct sequel to Brothers In Arms, but almost as much it includes elements introduced in "Labyrinth", and we probably spend more time on Jackson's Whole than we do on Barrayar. It ties up nicely at the end, back on Barrayar.
(But Memory is my absolute favourite, and I can't wait to read that one again…)
Ruth Ozeki: A Tale For The Time Being, abandoned February 22
A few years ago, my wife was a judge for the Sunburst Awards, a juried award for Canadian speculative fiction. (I was briefly on the organizing committee for the awards at its inception, but didn't stay for too long; I have no talent or inclination for such.) This resulted in her getting shipped boxes of books from various publishers for consideration, and in theory she had to read all of them, though in practice she bailed out on some of them partway through. It turns out that not every publisher sends all of the books that are under consideration, and you're not supposed to say which were included and which weren't. But A Tale For The Time Being was on the shortlist for the year, so it's safe for me to mention it.
I liked the title, because you could read it as "for the time being" meaning "for now", but you could also postulate the existence of a "Time Being" for whom this tale was intended. So I was curious about it. I suppose I could have put it into my "diversity" slot, as I believe the author is Japanese-Canadian or something like, but I left it in my "trying out" slot, which meant that I gave myself permission to bail on it early.
It seems like there's three stories going on in this book--a Japanese girl who was writing in her diary; a writer named Ruth (?!) living on the west coast of Canada who finds said diary (sealed up in some flotsam, with a cover that identifies it as Proust's "A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu"); and, at least alluded to, the story of the girl's great-grandmother. The girl confessed to being suicidal; the author thinks that her diary was swept across the ocean because of the tsunami.
I wanted to get engaged in this book…but it didn't happen. Authorial self-insert characters (with the same name as the author, no less) lose points for me…80 pages in, we didn't actually get into the great-grandmother's story, just the girl's father, who was also suicidal after he lost his job; and...I don't know, on the second day, I just didn't want to pick it up again. I asked my wife what there was for speculative elements, and she said just some mild magic realism. So, basically, this was Japanese-flavoured CanLit. Maybe at another time in my life I would have read the whole thing, but I just wasn't in the mood this time.
Kristen Painter: Flesh And Blood, completed February 27
Time for another female author…I wasn't sure what I was in the mood for, so I decided to look at some of the books that had been on my shelf for a little while. I'd read the first book in Kristen Painter's Comarré series back in 2017, and liked it. In some ways it was a standard urban fantasy…but it was set in the future, in the world of 2067, which I found intriguing. My wife hadn't finished the series, so, like the Kelly Meding series, it had made me want to try it too. Though apparently I still waited a few years to go on.
In this world, we have vampires, of course, but we also have comars (feminine comarré), who start out as normal humans but have special properties (possibly conveyed though their gold tattoos, I can't quite remember) which makes their blood particularly valuable (and tasty) to vampires. It may also grant them longevity. So we have Chrysabelle, a comarré who is bonded to her patron Malkolm (who killed her original patron in the first book). But Malkolm has a curse which means that he can't drink from someone without killing them. This has apparently led to a certain distance in his relationship with Chrysabelle, even though they are clearly coded as The Romantic Couple for the series. But mostly what's keeping them apart is pride and stubbornness, which I don't find particularly winning.
So we have Chrysabelle and Malkolm being annoying; we have a surfeit of scenes from the POV of Tatiana, our nemesis for the book, a stupidly arrogant vampire from Europe (mostly we are in "New Florida"); we also have a subplot with Malkolm's friend Maddoc "Doc", a shapeshifter trying to bring back his ghost lover, and a new character named Creek, a badass dude from a mysterious secret society who seems mostly to be there to start a love triangle with Chrysabelle. (Not that I don't mind the occasional love triangle, but some are done better than other. And these days I feel that you always need to acknowledge that one of the possible resolutions is a polycule.)
Only Tatiana and Doc seem to be proactive for most of the book; the rest of the characters spend most of their time reacting. Things just happen and they're dragged along. The future setting barely affects the course of the book; it might as well be set in present day for most of it. Eventually we do get to a sort of resolution (though not the one I was hoping for, alas), which is satisfying in some ways but not in others, and some of those ways feel like ham-handed attempts to leave threads dangling for future books, or reach the ending the author wanted even if if doesn't quite fit any more. All in all, mostly problems that could have been resolved with, perhaps, a few more drafts…which it didn't get.
I had bought the third book at some point, and I was considering just going and finishing the trilogy to wrap things up…but it turns out it's not a trilogy, it's a pentalogy. So I guess…no. I won't bother. Cut my losses, put the books into my donate boxes, don't pursue any further. Pity, it could have been better.
That's all the fiction books I finished this month. I mean, it was a short month, and I read Jade Legacy, so that's slowed me down a bit. Currently I'm reading You Feel It Just Below The Ribs by Jeffrey Cranor & Janina Matthewson, but I'll be finishing that one in March so I'll talk more about it then.
I did finish a non-fiction book, though. It's one that I started a few months ago and kept losing enthusiasm for and setting aside (which I allow myself to do for nonfiction in a way that I don't for fiction)--We Are The Nerds by Christine Lagorio-Chafkin, a book about Reddit, which I'm sure I bought as a remaindered hardcover as I do a lot of my nonfiction books. I wasn't sure I was going to finish it at all; the early part is all about tech bros and startups and crap and I just wasn't feeling it. I should say that I've never spent a lot of time on Reddit--the only time I recall posting there was to mention that I had figured out how to decode the binary format of Crusader Kings II "iron man" save files, and I never bothered to go back and share the details--so I don't have a lot invested in it, and maybe that would have helped. I might have been more engaged if I knew some of the names, or some of the important site events. As it was, I managed to slog through to the end, and then I shrugged and also put it in the discard box with the Ruth Ozeki and the Kristen Painters. I have another few nonfictions books I'm in the middle of, but more likely I'll try another new one, maybe one from the library. Though first it'll probably be another month of comics on Marvel Unlimited (I'm up to December 1993!), and maybe another issue of OnSpec or another Love & Rockets book or something.
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1789
Do you ever get groceries delivered to your house?
No, we do the groceries ourselves. Grocery deliveries were much more commonplace when the pandemic used to be a bigger concern, but I hardly hear of anyone availing that kind of service anymore.
What was the last job interview you went to where you didn't get the job? Do you think the interview went well or not?
For a multinational e-commerce brand. I think I handled it well, but I was also admittedly a little wet behind the ears for the role I was applying for so I don't really resent them for not taking me. At the time I was also extremely burned out and just wanted a way out of my workplace, so the decision to apply was honestly mostly an impulsive move.
Are you the kind of person who can wake up with one alarm or do you need several?
Depends on what time I'm waking up and/or what time I slept the night before. The earlier the alarm, the more alarms I set.
What's your favourite pasta shape?
Fettuccine.
What position is your body in right now? Sitting, laying, standing?
I'm sitting cross-legged.
Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend?
Saturday I'm planning to take my dad with me when we go shopping for steaks for NYE the next day. Sunday I have a bit of field work to do in the afternoon but I'm getting the fuckkkkk out of there as soon as the event is over so I can avoid traffic and be home in time for the countdown.
What's one of the saddest movies you've ever seen?
Revolutionary Road.
Has a movie ever made you cry?
Yes. I burst into tears every time I watch Liway, which is why I always have to watch it alone.
If you have a pet, where are they right now?
Both are asleep downstairs.
What's the last dessert you ate?
A brownie.
Do you experience deja vu often?
I want to say once every few months? It's not often.
Are there any rooms in your house that you don't go into every day?
My brother's.
Did you own many videos or DVDs when you were a kid?
Yeah, pirated ones. Tons of them. Original DVDs were always too expensive and they were only saved for movies that we really really really really really REALLY wanted to have/see.
What was the last physical pain you experienced?
Strained knees after siting in a certain position on the floor for too long.
Have you ever fed an animal at the zoo? Which ones?
I don't think I have.
Do you use Fahrenheit or Celsius? Do you know both or just one?
Celsius, and that's also the only one I'm familiar with.
Can you do a handstand? When was the last time you tried?
Nopes.
Do people misunderstand you?
Sure, for some situations.
What year will you/did you turn 30?
2028.
Have you ever worked or lived in a high rise building?
I've interned in one, if that counts.
Who are some of your favourite actors?
Kate Winslet, Kristen Stewart, Marion Cotillard, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn.
Do you hate it when musical artists make music for way too long and kinda ruin the legacy they'd originally built for themselves?
Well, no. What they do is really none of my business lol, but also everyone will also get past their prime at some point so considering music is these artists' main source of income, it's understandable that they'll sometimes make meh outputs.
Is there anything that's been bothering you emotionally lately?
Well my dad is leaving again in a couple of weeks and I never really got used to that.
What was the last store you shopped at?
A pet supplies store so I can buy gifts for the dogs.
What time did you wake up today? Was that earlier or later than usual?
7:45 AM, then I slept again and woke up for real by 9:30 AM. Definitely later than usual; I typically wake up at around 6:15.
Have you ever been to a parade? What for?
It didn't have a specific theme; it was really just this huge parade at BGC that celebrated a little bit of everything.
When you exercise, do you do anything to entertain yourself like listen to music or watch TV?
I don't exercise.
Do you ever read other people's survey answers?
Sure, but mostly when I take surveys that already have someone else's answers.
What app on your phone do you use the most?
Reddit and YouTube.
Does your current city differ from your hometown in terms of weather?
No. Unless you're in Baguio or Sagada, Philippine weather remains roughly the same regardless of where you are.
Have you ever been engaged?
Nopes.
What can you hear right now?
Apart from my typing, the fan right in front of me.
Do you know anyone who is terminally ill?
Not that I'm aware of. I hope there is actually none.
What was your first best friend's name and where did you meet them? Are you still in touch with them?
Kaye, in kindergarten, and nope.
What's your favourite fruit?
Avocado, if anything.
Do you have nice views from your house?
If you're at the rooftop, yeah.
What was the last album you listened to?
This Is Why by Paramore.
How often do you get paid?
Every two weeks.
Do you own any cool or interesting mugs?
I have a personalized mug that has my name styled in the Friends logo. Angela gave it to me a couple of Christmases back.
If you had to start a university course next week, what do you think you'd like to study?
Philippine social history. I actually took that as an elective in college, but a semester is too short a time for a topic so interesting to me that I wouldn't mind retaking it with new lessons haha.
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The lovely art I just reblogged of Ed in the woods just made me think about the getup he has on when he is burying Kristen’s corpse
Ed is dressed pretty dreadfully in much of his early days. Nothing fits: he’s either hanging on to old clothes or buying the wrong size, and although it nods to a sort of 50s vintage, there’s not much flair to it.
But when we see him go out to bury Kristen.....
He looks like he’s spent quite a bit shopping at Barbour. He’s gone full posh British countryside here - with his waxed hooded trench coat, and his tweed cap. For reference, and taking into consideration Ed’s likely salary (he’s not senior, by any means) we’re talking £240 ($315) for the coat, and around £40 ($50) for the hat. If we assume he bought his wellingtons from a similar place, then they’re pricey again, the cheapest would set him back £65 ($89) and can go as high as £200 for fancy makes.
I thought at first that his gloves were riding gloves (because of the reinforced leather between the thumb and index finger, and between the third and fourth finger - but they also have a lot of padding over the knuckles, which you don’t tend to see on riding gloves. They look like more multi-purpose outdoors gloves, but again - the dressy version. On searching, I also saw something called tactical gloves that looked similar. Anyone who is more informed on these, please feel free to chip in :)
It’s possible that Ed has gone out and bought all this especially for ‘the occasion’. The clothes admittedly look very clean and neat - but then, Ed is clean and neat. His work clothes might be ill-fitting, but they’re clean and pressed: he’s not crumpled like Harvey. We know he has a Singer sewing machine in his apartment, and a workspace for projects. I can see Ed - who meticulously picked the onions out of his lunch with tweezers and a magnifying glass - being conscientious with his clothes: any loose threads or dropped hems would be properly and precisely mended. So it’s not too much of a stretch to say that he’d properly care for his outdoors clothes, keeping them as pristine as this.
So - if we say that Ed already has these clothes, and seems fairly comfortable in the woods - then we might be able to say that Ed has been going into the woods (these or other ones) often enough that he decided to kit himself out properly? He’s scientifically-minded - I can imagine him recording what he sees, most likely with an eye to poisonous fungus and plants?
I wonder, then, given that these clothes are expensive and fit properly, and are pretty stylish in certain circles - whether these expeditions would be times when (pre-Kristen’s murder, in particular) BadEd was much closer to the surface. All alone, all dressed up, with poison on his mind? We see later that he’s brought a good torch with him too. The idea of Ed with his darker side nearer the surface, manifested through his clothes, wandering through the woods alone at night? Pretty creepy.
It would also mean that his choice of location for Kristen’s body isn’t entirely a new idea, or just something practical that’s come to mind. Ed is sometimes unaware of ideas from/actions of BadEd. It’s possible that he’s whispered this particular idea to him. We see later - when he has his confrontation in the woods with Jim - that he’s managed to find his way back to Kristen’s remains no problem, even under stress, in the snow, in what seems like a fairly big forest. Part of him has maybe been scoping this site out for a while.
It’s worth mentioning - since Gotham seems to like Hannibal allusions (Ed talks about his ‘becoming’ after he kills Kristen), that his whole get-up and picnic basket is very Hannibal-esque behaviour. Later, when he flees Jim and head into the woods, they seem to reference Chilton’s fleeing Jack.
If you want a closer look at Ed’s apartment, look at this article (scroll down)
Anyway - there’s some Ed in outdoors wear meta that nobody asked for :D
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a little blurb from the au I’m working on, it’s like a mix of totally spies and charlie’s angels because i’m in love with the kristen stewart charlies angels movie
Let me know what you think!
.....
Tzuyu watched as Chaeyoung brushed the last bit of contour on Sana’s cheeks. Between the wig, layers of makeup, and thick fake glasses, she was almost unrecognizable.
It was seamless, and it was perfect. Tzuyu had never seen anything so impressive. Chaeyoung was clearly fantastic at her job.
“Remember.” Jeongyeon flipped through Sana’s notes once again, triple-checking them before placing them on the makeup table in front of her. “He’s dangerous, Sana.”
“I’ve worked with dangerous before.” She winked. “There’s a reason I’m the best at what I do.”
“Save the flirting for the interview, please. Give me your cover story again.”
“I’ve just graduated with a degree in communications in December, a semester early because I stacked my credits to save time. Thought about moving back home, but I’m trying anything to stay in town a little while longer, including taking this secretary job. I’m from a suburb of Busan. I don’t know that he’s also from Busan, because he lies to the press and tells them he’s a Seoul boy through and through. My only hobbies are knitting and Genshin Impact. I’m really just a stay-at-home introvert.”
Chaeyoung snorted. “I don’t know if anyone will believe that last part.”
Sana smiled. “People will believe anything I want them to believe, if I bat my eyelashes and pout.”
“And that’s why you’re the best at what you do.” Chaeyoung smiled.
“And, um -” Tzuyu cut in, immediately feeling small when all three near-strangers turned to her. Sana smiled encouragingly. “What do you do – uh, I mean, what’s your role? If you don’t mind…”
“Of course not, sweetie. We all do a bit of everything, but I’m the main recon agent. Chaengie here gets me all dolled up and I go flirt a little and convince people to tell me their secrets. It’s the most fun job.” She winked.
“It’s also much more dangerous than she’s making it sound,” Jeongyeon grumbled, “And definitely not what we’re going to focus on for you at first. Though everyone on the team gets training in everything we do so you’ll learn a bit about it anyway.”
Tzuyu tried not to show that she was relieved. From what she knew – which, admittedly, was just from corny spy movies and video games – recon was a tough job. Getting cozy with dangerous criminals didn’t sound like fun to her.
“Noted.” She nodded.
Jeongyeon turned back to Sana, picking up the notebook sitting on the table in front of her. “And you know what you’re looking for?”
“A secretary job?”
“Not what your cover is looking for, Sana.” Jeongyeon sighed. Sana giggled.
“I’m looking for evidence that he’s stealing from the children’s hospital charity. Gotta get Dahyunnie’s flash drive into his computer, somehow. It’ll download everything. Besides that, any evidence of communication with other problematic people.”
“Right. And it all has to be today. If you get called back for that interview, you’re not taking any more chances. This is the only time I’ll have you in that building alone: when he doesn’t perceive a threat yet. Understood?”
Sana smiled, stood, and kissed her nose. “Yesss, Jeongie.”
Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “Please be safe. Chaeyoung, Momo, and Jihyo will be circling the building the whole time in a car if needed. Hit the panic switch on your watch the second you feel like anything’s off, and they’ll find a way to come get you. Okay?”
“Of course.”
Jeong nodded. “Alright. Go see Dahyun, she’s got a new tazer necklace or something for you she’s really excited about.”
Sana just giggled and basically skipped down the hall and out of sight.
Jeongyeon turned back to Chaeyoung. “You go get ready too. Take the sports car. You’ll be in the rich part of the city so no one will bat an eyelash at an extra Audi.”
“Jeongie, you just made my day.” Chaeyoung smiled as Jeongyeon rolled her eyes at Sana’s nickname. She turned to Tzuyu, holding out a hand. Tzuyu shook it. “I’ll see you soon, Tzu. Nice to officially meet.”
“You, too.”
“Stay safe.” Jeongyeon called down the hall after her. Chaeyoung just waved her off and kept walking.
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1 , 5 , 12 , 16 , 23 , 27, 34, 38, 45
Take Care 🤍
Okay, so first I would like to say that I am shocked anyone submitted anything. Let alone so many! Anon, you have my heart! ❤️ Alright. Now, to the asks…
1. Have you ever been in love?
Honestly, I don’t know? I have been in a few relationships and there was only ever one where I told him that I loved him. I don’t know if I actually did, though. He had told me that he loved me, and I felt like I should say the same. But I think that I was more in love with the idea of being in love. I have the tendency to make myself into who I think people want me to be. I can go further into that another time lol.
5. Are you single or in a relationship?
I am single AF.
12. What qualities do you find attractive in a person?
Oh lord. Okay, so I’m going to side step the physical qualities that I find attractive in an effort not to appear superficial. (I definitely have a “type” when it comes to physical appearances though). But in terms of personality, I am super attracted to people who are dominant. I’m an introvert who is also very confident in her abilities. I don’t necessarily enjoy being very social, but when it comes to my job and such (not writing, we aren’t talking about that), I know what I am good at and fuck you if you tell me otherwise. But I am also very insecure at the same time. It’s really weird. I’m an anxious person, juggling between those two factors. So I can guarantee that if you are a dominant person who can make me stop thinking I am going to be weak at the knees for you.
But not abusive. I don’t fuck around with that.
16. Who was your first crush?
This boy in my kindergarten class named “Mitchell”. He was adorable.
23. Do you have any siblings?
Yes, I am the youngest of three. I have an older brother and sister.
27. Who do people say you look like? (Celebrity/Family member)
The most common celebrity I am compared to is Kristen Wiig. (I have also been told that I resemble Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Love Hewitt…I don’t see those so much, although my sister has some resemblance to Anne.)
34. Do you enjoy reading?
Depends what it is? I wish I could say I enjoy reading everything! However, I am the type where if I am not sucked in within the first chapter or so, I won’t finish it. I can’t tell you what the last novel I read was, because I don’t remember. I mainly read fanfic at this point. And yes, I am that person who will read the last sentence or paragraph to make sure that I am emotionally prepared for what I am diving into.
38. What is your biggest fear?
I have no idea. I am, admittedly, afraid of a lot of things. Bugs, being murdered, dead bodies, large bodies of water (despite loving the beach…I can’t snorkel or scuba dive because I am terrified of finding a dead body in the water), violence, pain, heights, etc.
But I think my biggest fear, if I were to choose in this particular moment in time, would be dying without ever actually experiencing real romantic love. Which seems…strange. Idk. I’ve been in relationships, and I have “loved” people. But I don’t think it has ever really been real, you know? As mentioned above, I tend to try to morph into who I think my partner wants me to be (for reasons we will not get into). Which is not good for either of us.
I would hate to die without experiencing true, unadulterated, unfiltered, unconditional love. Where I simply love them, and they love me, all faults included. No ifs, ands, or buts.
45. What is your favorite animal?
A fox!
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May 6, 2021: The Martian (2015) (Recap: Part One)
We’re leaving lo-fi sci-fi, people. Kind of.
I mentioned before that films like Her are what I define as “lo-fi sci-fi”, which is a category that I’ve kind of made up. Basically, it’s the science fiction version of low fantasy, meaning it contains science fiction themes contained within an otherwise contemporary setting. In the case of Her, Joaquin Phoenix’s character, along with many others, live in a world and setting basically like ours, but with technology advanced enough to generate AIs (like Siri) that are intelligent enough to actually ascend our reality. Because we live in a society.
You give me Joaquin Phoenix, I’m gonna make a Joker reference; it’s in the contract of my existence. Anyway, that is admittedly kind of broad, right? I mean, that has the capability of crossing over with a BUNCH of sci-fi genres and themes. And, considering that we’ve already seen magic, speculative technology, time travel, monsters, and artificial intelligence, we’ve already touched on quite a bit.
And with science fiction, the sky’s the limit. Literally. So, I think it behooves us to re-examine lo-fi sci-fi a little bit. Specifically, we should note that it can also be defined as an extension of currently existing technologies and possibilities. Writers would call this “speculative sci-fi”, assuming in this case that it’s set within the present or a near and attainable future. Her definitely fits in this category, as does Westworld. But, let’s crossover to another genre by speculating upon another possibility. And it begins with this man. Probably.
Hey, Elon, what’s up? Now, Mr. Musk here is a...controversial figure, for COMPLETELY understandable reasons. Instead of touch upon the man himself, I feel like touching upon one of his recent focuses: space travel. With SpaceX and the various upcoming space trips and journeys that they’re planning, Musk has made it clear that he plans to shoot to the Moon. Again, literally.
In fact, this full plan is to go even further than that, and to fuel potential commercial space flights in the future, which is admittedly very cool. And of course, if you’re going to shoot for the Moon...
Guys...guys, that’s Mars. THAT’S FUCKING MARS
Is that not amazing? We have sound and pictures from FUCKING MARS! THAT’S A DIFFERENT PLANET, GODDAMN IT! It’s cooler than I have the ability to properly express, but it IS goddamn cool. And this means that, easily within my lifetime, we could (and likely will) land on Mars. Which is amazing. God, I really want to see that happen.
And so, landing on Mars is BARELY science fiction, but since we haven’t yet done so...yeah, it’s fictional at the moment. And so, any film about landing on Mars falls within this category. Well...to an extent.
2000′s Mission to Mars, for example, was a Disney-funded film (to my IMMENSE surprise; and it’s based off of an old Disney World ride, WHAT), and a movie that I saw a LOT when I was a kid. I also barely remember it, to be honest. But that film is straight-up science fiction because of, well...aliens. The idea of Martians is, as far as we know it, fictional. And most fiction involving Mars includes these aliens somehow. Whether it’s DC Comics’ entire civilization of Martians, as seen in Justice League, Supergirl, or Young Justice...
...Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s heavily mythologized civilization, as seen in the Barsoom series of novels (and another Disney film)...
...Or one of the best Looney Tunes characters.
Mmm. Yes. Isn’t that lovely?
But, yeah, Mars and aliens go hand-in-hand in our media. So, to properly look at lo-fi science and speculative science fiction in relation to the Red Planet, we’ll need a movie that goes to the planet, and doesn’t touch upon the concept of aliens AT ALL.
Enter...Ridley Scott?
Yeah, the director of Legend, Alien, Thelma and Louise, Blade Runner, Gladiator. Also the director of Kingdom of Heaven, Prometheus, Exodus: Gods and Kings, and...ugh, 1492: Conquest of Paradise. I’ve talked about his mixed record before, in my Recap of Legend right here.
In 2014, he was brought on to adapt a book by Andy Weir called The Martian, which is a great book! I’ve listened to the audio book, and I whole-heartedly recommend doing that. And because of that, I am VERY MUCH looking forward to watching this film, especially seeing as it’s often called one of the best science fiction films made during that year, and was critically acclaimed then and now. It got seven Oscar nominations (although it won none of them), amongst other awards. So, enough navel-gazing, huh? The Martian!
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Recap (1/2)
On Acidalia Plantitia, at the landing site of the Ares III mission, a group of scientists are gathering samples. These scientists are commander and geologist Melissa Lewis (Jessica Chastain), pilot Rick Martinez (Michael Pena), systems operator Beth Johanssen (Kate Mara), surgeon Chris Beck (Sebastian Stan), German chemist Alex Vogel (Aksel Hennie), and overly talkative botanist Mark Watney (Matt Damon).
The group seems to have a good dynamic, but that dynamic is interrupted by a massive dust storm, which is large enough to cause the entire crew to evacuate. However, in the chaos of the dust storm, Mark is hit by debris and lost in the shuffle. Although Lewis goes back to find him, she can’t get to him before they need to leave, and Mark is believed dead. This is reported (pretty callously) by NASA Director Teddy Sanders (Jeff Daniels) to the press soon afterwards.
But of course, that wouldn’t be much of a movie, now would it? Mark’s alive! And Mark’s alone. With his suit damaged, and low on oxygen, he trudges back to headquarters, which is intact and still contains breathable oxygen. He gets inside, and realizes that he’s been stabbed in the abdomen by some debris. He removes it, and stitches up his own wound. Which is...god, it’s fucking BRUTAL just to think about, nevertheless watch.
Once he’s finished, he records a log for the future, if he doesn’t make it. It’s day 19 of the 31-day mission at this point, and Mark’s basically screwed. He needs lasting oxygen, water, and food, and he might need that for 4 years, when the next manned mission can come to the red planet. Additionally, he has absolutely no way to contact NASA, leaving him completely stranded. Another dust storm rolls in that night, and Mark looks over the belongings of his colleagues, packing them up for their eventual return. It’s somber, to say the least. However, Mark affirms that he’s determined not to die on the planet.
After doing the math, Mark should have enough food to last him for about 300 days, especially if he rations it. Until then, he’ll need to figure out how to grow his own food, on a planet where nothing grows. Which is, of course, going to be a difficult feat to accomplish. But Mark Watney’s a botanist with botany powers, and he’s gonna do it.
It’s day 31, and Mark’s brought in dirt from the outside, and uses the bio-waste from the crew’s stay there for a form of compost. After 5 days, mostly full of him watching Happy Days on TV and trying to farm, he realizes that he needs water, both for himself and for the soil. To do that, he goes chemical and decides to use hydrogen-laden rocket fuel, wood from Martinez’s belongings, and good old-fashioned fire to make water! And since hydrogen + oxygen = water, it should work. With a minor side-effect.
So, yeah, he blew himself up. As as he records a video log, the sound mixing makes itself impressively known by subtly and realistically generating a tinnitus sound. It’s VERY well-done, holy shit. Anyway, he makes a stable fire, and the place is soon covered in condensation, moistening the room and the soil successfully.
We get to day 54, and Mark’s planted leftover potatoes from the crew in order to grow them. And while he’s being mourned at a funeral on Earth, and in NASA, he’s seeing the fruits (or shoots) of his efforts.
Back on Earth, Mars Mission Director Vincent Kapoor (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is trying to convince Director Teddy to let him lobby for another Ares mission, despite the risk of bad press for the callousness of the proximity to Watney’s death. Meanwhile, satellite technician Mindy Park (Mackenzie Davis) looks down at the Ares III site, and realizes that the site has changed visually, meaning that Mark may actually be alive.
Shocked by this, she tells Kapoor, Teddy, and media director Annie Montrose (Kristen Wiig) about this, and they realize the absolute clusterfuck that this whole thing is. They can’t tell the other members of the Ares III crew about it, because it’d devastate them for the 10 months they have to get back to Earth, at the VERY least. They can’t tell the WORLD about this, because they just had a funeral for the guy, and they’d reveal that they left him stranded on Mars accidentally, destroying faith in the Mars Missions Program. And they can’t save Mark, who they’re sure will starve eventually. It’s a mess. And Kapoor also wonders what’s happening to Mark psychologically through all of this.
And yet, they reveal this to the world regardless, causing the clusterfuck reaction that they think it’s going to cause. But Mark’s busy on Mars, figuring out how to get to the site of the next Ares IV mission in 4 years, at the Schiaparelli crater about 50 days travel away. This is a struggle, as his Rover has only so much power and fuel, and he can only get more power by cutting out the heater is risking death by freezing. So, problems. However, he figures out a potential solution: radioactive isotopes! In a move that is, let’s face it, COMPLETELY INSANE, he digs up a radioactive generator from the ship in order to heat the ship.
On Earth, they try to figure out Mark’s moves, as well as how to resupply Ares IV sooner for Mark’s benefit. This is with the director of JPL, Bruce Ng (Benedict Wong), and the flight director of the ship Hermes, Mitch Henderson (Sean Bean), who insists that they tell the Ares II crew. They continue to monitor Mark, and note that he’s been travelling for 17 days in his Rover towards something. Kapoor figures it out, and flies to California.
See, Mark needs a way to contact NASA, and he believes that the way to do so is through Pathfinder, the first probe ever sent to Mars in 1997, lasting for 9 months since landing until they lost contact. Mark digs it up, and the people at JPL in California start their own efforts for contact. And despite communication being extremely rudimentary, initially limited to yes/no questions that use a still-frame camera, it fucking WORKS! WHOO!
To boost this communication hurdle, the two camps figure out a hexadecimal system for communication, allowing them to communicate using a circular table of numbers that represent an alphabet. That allows them to teach Mark to hack into the Rover, allowing it to piggyback off of its broadcast signal and send them messages via keyboard. Nice! Now that communication is reasonably possible, Mark’s able to ask how the crew is handling his death. But upon learning that they haven’t told him. He’s understandably a little goddamn enraged. And so, they FINALLY tell the Ares III crew about this.
The news breaks the crew, even though Mark continues to stress that he’s all right, and that it wasn’t their fault. Meanwhile, Mark’s able to survive for 912 days with his potato plants, and things improve with the help of technicians on Earth. They plan to launch a supply rocket to him in the next year, and things are looking fine! Unless, of course...something goes horribly HORRIBLY wrong.
Well...fuck. Good place to pause for Part Two, then?
#the martian#ridley scott#matt damon#jessica chastain#kristen wiig#jeff daniels#sean bean#michael pena#chiwetel ejiofor#benedict wong#science fiction may#sci-fi may#user365#365 movie challenge#365 movies 365 days#365 Days 365 Movies#365 movies a year#bookstofilm#whatelsecanwedonow
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NOTE: This is the second film released theatrically during the COVID-19 pandemic that I am reviewing – I saw Wonder Woman 1984 at the Regency Theatres Directors Cut Cinema’s drive-in operation in Laguna Niguel, California. Because moviegoing carries risks at this time, please remember to follow health and safety guidelines as outlined by your local, regional, and national health officials.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
It took decades for a female superhero movie to make a lasting cultural impact. The honor fell to Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman (2017) – no matter what you think of it, the film dispelled any perceptions that a female-driven superhero movie could never be a cinematic phenomenon. Jenkins returns, as does Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman and Chris Pine, in Wonder Woman 1984. This sequel is at its best when not proclaiming to the audience its self-importance – an aspect commonly found in and that plagues the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) – and, unfortunately, its poor screenplay oscillates between a flighty romp and superheroic maximalism. For Patty Jenkins, whose filmography is regrettably small mostly due to the lack of opportunities afforded to women directors, she could not have envisioned Wonder Woman’s success, nor the impossible expectations put upon her to surpass the first film. As it is, WW84 is an entertaining, if troubled sophomore effort.
Seven decades after we saw her in the first film and after a prologue during her childhood on Themyscira, Diana Prince (Gadot; Lilly Aspell as young Diana) is working as a restorationist at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C. In her off hours, she performs the occasional heroic act as Wonder Woman. One of the newest hires is gemologist Barbara Ann Minerva (Kristen Wiig). Diana and Barbara, from an FBI request, identify a stolen artifact as the Dreamstone – a gem that, according to legend, has the power to grant a person one wish. On accident, Diana wishes for her long-dead lover Steve Trevor (Pine) to come back to life; envious of Diana’s looks and wallowing in self-pity, Barbara off-handedly wishes to be like Diana. Both wishes come true, but in ways profaning the literal meanings of the respective wishes. For Barbara, this means a transformation into one of Wonder Woman’s archnemeses, Cheetah. Elsewhere in D.C., struggling television infomercial pitchman Max Lord (Pedro Pascal) wishes to procure the stone to revive his flagging business.
Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen are barely in the film as Antiope and Hippolyta, respectively. Lynda Carter, who played Diana on the ABC television series Wonder Woman from 1976-1979, has a self-aware moment which will delight fans.
1980s American culture is the nostalgic fixation at this moment in popular culture (with the march of time, each decade seems to be beholden to its own moment of nostalgic media cycles). Think of television shows like Stranger Things; movies like Adventureland (2009) and It (2017). The generation that came of age during Reagan’s America grew up in a time where the veneer of the Soviet-backed Eastern bloc was crumbling from within, and where Reaganomics spurred prevalent materialism and indulgence. Unadulterated greed and desire are in every corner of WW84 – from the terrible attempts at flirting with Diana and Barbara that easily qualifies as harassment, the difficulty in renouncing wishes on the Dreamstone, Max Lord’s inability to balance his business commitments in order to make time for his son, Alistair (Lucian Perez). WW84 captures this consumerist, entitled attitude throughout, and remarks on how corrosive this mindset is. Admittedly, it is simple messaging from the screenwriting team – Jenkins; Geoff Johns (a DC Comics writer and producer for comics, television, and film since 2000); and Dave Callaham (2014’s Godzilla, 2019’s Zombieland: Double Tap) – but they never contradict that central message.
WW84 progresses to its hackneyed, natural conclusion. But along the way, the screenplay is bogged down in the havoc that ensues from fulfilled wishes via the Dreamstone. The film’s impressive, animated start cannot build on its own momentum when – after the fulfillment of Barbara’s wish – it begins to clearly delineate its time between Diana/Steve, Barbara, and Max Lord. In their respective thirds of WW84, each character learns more about their granted wishes and the Dreamstone’s nature. The set-up for each third follows the same process: a monologue dripping with disappointment with their life directions, confusion in discovering their wish becoming true, and the exultation of their wild imagination defying all sense of reality. WW84 cannot help itself slathering on the foreshadowing and the repetitive narrative structure. The screenplay’s sins are compounded by the screenwriters’ inability to properly and consistently define the limitations of the Dreamstone’s powers – leading to expositional dumps occurring in the movie well past their welcome. As morbidly entertaining as watching humanity run amok with half-baked and ill-considered wishes is (credit to whoever choreographed the third act’s mass chaos), WW84’s unpolished storytelling leaves behind a somewhat befuddling mess.
The movie’s relative lightness in its opening two acts, though entertaining, throws away Diana’s characterization of a solitary, somewhat maternal protective figure in favor of a decades-long yearning for Steve. Are we really to believe that she has spent every waking moment since World War I pining – no pun intended – for someone she knew for probably less than a month? Whatever chemistry Gadot (whose performance as Diana remains at a laudable standard) and Pine had in the first film has evaporated into a labored dynamic in WW84, and she is too quickly is prepared to leave behind her life as museum preservationist by day/superhero-if-not-by-night-then-during-non-working-hours for him. Her behavior concerning Steve – and this is not even mentioning the ethically murky fact that Steve’s soul inhabits the body of a male stranger for the entirety of his resurrection – does not square with any notion of human growth, especially as most of the twentieth century has passed Diana by.
Putting aside the amusing transformation of Barbara from a bookish, clumsy gemologist to an unspectacled femme fatale, the emergence of not one, but two, villains weakens the characterizations, motivations, and portrayals of both. Thus, WW84 spends less time sympathizing with Barbara’s status as a social outcast, so too the relationship between Max Lord and his forgiving – at film’s end, at least – son (the only aspect of Lord’s life that exists outside work). The film’s divided attention between Barbara and Max Lord assures that their concluding actions become too cartoonish, depthless. It’s not that I am demanding that WW84 (or any superhero movie) should provide brooding, soliloquizing philosopher-poets for a villain. Far from it, especially when noting what the likes of Christopher Nolan and, more recently (and exasperatingly), Zack Snyder have offered in their interpretations of D.C. Comics characters’ mythos. Instead, Barbara and Max Lord become caricatures, rather than fully realized, flawed individuals who retain strands of their goodness even as their actions plunge them into villainy.
Though lacking a moment matching the brilliance of Wonder Woman’s entrance into No Man’s Land from the first film, WW84 contains its share of pulsating combat scenes. Cheetah’s debut during a confrontation at the White House is crisply edited by Richard Pearson (2004’s The Bourne Supremacy, 2006’s United 93) and shot by Matthew Jensen (Wonder Woman). The fight, unlike so many littering action movies nowadays, makes geometric sense of who is doing what and where. This collaboration of cinematographer and editor reaches its peak with a vehicular fight in Egypt that resembles something out of an Indiana Jones movie (minus the comedy that usually occurs during an Indiana Jones vehicular fight). It is a wonderfully choreographed scene, but one mired in its poor depiction of the Egyptians involved. WW84 concludes with a dud of a fight. This is not because of terrible CGI, or the revelation that their mothers share the same name. Instead, it is the lack of lighting that destroys this moment. The final fight between Wonder Woman and Cheetah is so poorly lit that the combat becomes an amalgam of flailing limbs and incomprehensible movement. Cheetah, who by this point appears as if she wandered off the set of Tom Hooper’s Cats (2019), appears to be nothing more than a ball of spotted fur. It is a disappointing end to an erratic sequel.
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Longtime readers know that I have pilloried composer Hans Zimmer again and again for dispensing with melodies and for relying too heavily on ostinatos, electronics, and musical texture on his recent film scores. I’m a simple person with certain biases: as a classically-trained amateur pianist-violinist, I prefer scores that have musical interest within and outside the context of a film (would I enjoy playing this score in an orchestra and listening to it in a concert setting?). The worst of his imitators and colleagues at Remote Control Productions are on a train to my musical shit list. His score to Wonder Woman 1984 is a rare bright spot (aside from maybe his work in the Kung Fu Panda series) in a decade marked by excess. The film opens with “Themyscira” – a synth-y prelude quoting Wonder Woman’s motif, but one that blossoms into orchestral triumphalism. This cue crescendos from 0:27 to 1:11 on the back of string ostinatos, regal brass, and chorus chanting pianissimo. The orchestra and chorus explode to life at 1:11 in a majestic, ascending melody celebrating the joys of Amazonian life on Themyscira. A hummable, singable melody in a 2020s Hans Zimmer score? Yes! Alongside Wonder Woman’s now-iconic electric cello motif, Zimmer has composed a secondary motif for her beginning at 1:53 in “Themyscira” (and which eclipses the electric cello motif in terms of appearances in the score). Another throwback occurs during the cue “1984”, a jubilant cycling of rhythmic melodies that could easily been in a 1980s film scored by Alan Silvestri, perhaps even younger Zimmer himself. Even when Zimmer is introducing villainous motifs or the motif for the Dreamstone, his contemporary obsession for droning synth is tempered by ostinatos in the strings and winds, rather than ear-splitting percussion.
Zimmer’s love theme for Diana and Steve is “Wish We Had More Time” – and I cannot recall the last time the composer brought forth such affecting romantic music. A languid melody led by strings speaks to Diana’s longing – however one may disapprove of it – in ways reminiscent, but still inferior to, of Italian movie scores during the 1980s and ‘90s (think: Luis Bacalov, Ennio Morricone, Nicola Piovani). One quibble: beginning at 1:13 until 2:12 in “Wish We Had More Time”, the second violin tremolos are much too loud, and are just as audible as the melodies by lower strings, first violins, and winds. Hans Zimmer’s score to WW84 is the most thematically fascinating he has composed over the last decade, and it – not Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, not Inception (2010), and sure as hell not the sonic assault that is Dunkirk (2017) – represents the best of what he can be as a film score composer.
The temptation to elevate the dramatic stakes for sequels is present among all the major Hollywood studios. WW84 is not immune to this temptation, but it, at times, resists it. Its ungainly conclusion and dreadful narrative structure reflect those expectations, but one could not classify it as grimdark, such as almost everything Zack Snyder has directed. This is not a Wonder Woman limping her way through apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic times. Patty Jenkins’ sequel, however flawed, unironically celebrates its own corniness and absurdity – one cannot say this about the MCU (which does so only via metatextual humor). Many of us can no longer experience for the first time Wonder Woman emerging from the Allied trenches of WWI, but Wonder Woman 1984 provides a vision of superhero movies particular to creator William Moulton Marston, director Patty Jenkins, and Gal Gadot’s portrayal of Diana Prince. It even allows for faint echoes of the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman series that would not have been appropriate in the first film. Flawed though this film is, its approach, after a decade or so of building cinematic universes of dramatic escalations, signifies a refreshing change of pace.
My rating: 6/10
^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).
For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.
Also in this series: Wonder Woman (2017)
#Wonder Woman 1984#WW84#Wonder Woman#Patty Jenkins#Gal Gadot#Chris Pine#Kristen Wiig#Pedro Pascal#Robin Wright#Connie Nielsen#Lynda Carter#Geoff Johns#Dave Callaham#Matthew Jensen#Hans Zimmer#My Movie Odyssey
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Controversial opinion, I know, but I don’t think there’s valid reasons to hate characters from Frozen and Frozen 2.
People have such extreme emotions about these characters - you see some people tearing down Kristoff to prop up Elsa or tearing down Anna to prop up Elsa or tearing down Elsa to prop up Anna or tearing down Elsa to prop up Kristoff or tearing down Honeymaren to prop up Elsa (or, at least, their idea of Elsa.)
And I understand connecting to particular characters over others. Some people connect with Anna so strongly but not so much Elsa. Some people connect more with Elsa. Some people connect deeply with Kristoff. Some people love Honeymaren.
But there’s no need to tear characters down.
Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff all have good hearts and want to protect the ones they love. They are good people. Elsa and Anna both have great leadership qualities. Kristoff is supportive and caring.
Honeymaren admittedly doesn’t have much screentime or character development, but there’s nothing ‘bad’ about her. She’s nice and lovely.
Hans might be a villain, but some of the nicest people I’ve met in the fandom have been Hans fans. I may abhor his actions, but still, he’s cunning and an admittedly engaging and interesting character.
And moreover, you can critique flaws in the franchise without making personal attacks against characters/creators.
Poor editing that leaves issues with the sisters unresolved is the fault of the editing, not Elsa. There’s no reason for certain people to be as hostile towards Elsa as I’ve seen some people be in the past.
Not really letting the sisters discuss the roots of their trauma is a writing choice - maybe just born of the films being animated children’s films - not a personal failing on either of the sisters’ parts.
Honeymaren being underdeveloped as a character is the result of editing and writing choices, not a reason to trash her. If anything, I’d argue that Honeymaren is a victim of those choices and a victim of being a supporting player in an overly-sprawling sequel. If the people who dislike Honeymaren and use her lack of screentime as a gotcha to justify their dislike thought about it, they’d realize that they could make a much more valid critique about how F2 is perhaps unintentionally racist itself - sidelining characters of color... instead of just... reinforcing racist arguments themselves. Don’t be racist.
Kristen Bell is great and she brings a great emotional understanding to her performance as Anna. Anna is great.
I have disagreements with Jennifer Lee about certain aspects of F2 and her writing in the Frozen franchise and A Wrinkle in Time shows me her work can be unwieldy, but she still brings such creative energy to her projects and tries to tackle interesting themes and I respect that. When I critique the films and sometimes say negative things about F2, I don’t want to make that personal.
And again, I realize that it’s tough. The wonderful thing about Frozen is that it resonates with people in different ways - and so many different resonances are valid. People with really rough relationships with their parents might gravitate towards Elsa’s initial anger in Let it Go and be really frustrated in Agnarr and Iduna. They might look at the way the film never really parses out the childhood separation as a betrayal. Likewise, people who deeply connect to Agnarr and Iduna’s backstory are going to be fiercely protective of them. People who really feel attached to Anna are going to more keenly feel how the films sometimes brush aside her pain. And people who feel really attached to Elsa in F1 but not F2 are going to feel one thing and people who feel attached to Elsa in F2 are going to feel another and everyone will be defensive and... that’s fandom, I know...
It’s tough. I’ve been swept up in my own emotions before in this fandom. But critique and reflection and analysis - even analysis of flaws - doesn’t have to be harsh.
That doesn’t mean it can’t be negative or that you have to bury your feelings about certain characters. Just remember that all these characters mean a whole lot to a variety of different people - including the characters you have issues with, and be compassionate.
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alright, so, i wanted to make one post about the cat person thing and be done with it forever, but my thoughts about it have been ping-ponging for the entire 7 hours of my shift because i tend to get lost in my own thoughts when i’m on service bar. and i need to vocalize or i will go crazier than i already am. so, let’s see, how should i condense a night’s worth of stream-of-consciousness into something vaguely resembling a post with a point? well, i don’t know if i can do that succinctly, so i’m shoving my best attempts under a cut.
so, the cat person story draws pretty heavily on these aesthetics that we’ve come to associate very heavily with nerdy misogynists. he’s the fedora tipper. he’s the brony with the friend zone complex. he’s coded in the way so that as a reader, it should come as no surprise that he’s the asshole, delusionally believing he’s a “nice guy,” and would call a woman a “whore” for rejecting him. but, as it turns out, the real robert in this story had a completely normal relationship with this woman who was several years his junior, and this toxic power dynamic thing is something kristen roupenian extrapolated from this guy’s instagram upon noticing he was a geeky dude who was previously dating a woman younger than him. the man who fit so neatly into the stereotype of how terrible men look, crammed into a story where he behaves terribly that’s meant to be cathartic for women to read about, was never a terrible man by any metric.
the reality behind the story almost feels like this bizarre, meta-textual commentary about how we all use one another in varying ways. or how we all fall into this trap of making these strange assumptions about other people based on something we’re projecting. or how we really have no way of knowing what the people around us are thinking. what bothered me the most when i read it was how emotionally difficult it was for the author feeling almost compelled to re-evaluate a relationship she remembered relatively fondly because it had been manipulated to fit this narrative of abusive power dynamics that had been foisted upon it with the basis of, well, nothing grounded in reality.
i wrote earlier about how my reaction to cat person was, and always has been, one of frustration from hearing female friends tell me that same story over and over, and getting irritated with them for repeatedly sleeping with men they had trouble assessing and being shocked every time when the bad signals coagulated into a clot of sheer disgust during sex. how i always wanted to grab them by the strings of their hoodies and yell “why are you so diametrically opposed to trusting your goddamn instincts? how have you not figured out that this inevitable result of hopping into bed with someone who’s making you uncomfortable?” knowing full well that i couldn’t convince them of this if they convinced themselves. relating not to margot, but a hypothetical friend that margot might have shared this story with. even that as an aside, there was this nebulous thing about it that bugged me, more that it echoing a story i was beyond sick of hearing, more than it’s shameless deployment of the m’lady stock character, more than reading it as someone who had been celibate for a year and not connecting with it as someone probably outside the intended audience. something about it just... picked at me. but i never thought too seriously about it. i ignored the annoying twitter discourse about it and didn’t find it compelling enough to actively hate so i basically just forgot about it
when i reread it this morning, my mind immediately went to thomas and milan (who is nb, but this example still works imo). they’re probably the closest thing to CatPerson_irl that I’ll ever encounter in my life. i used to work with thomas at b&b, just a profoundly horrible character from every angle. i’ve never met someone in my life who was easier to dislike. he was this 39 year old divorcee (though he looked considerably younger) who couldn’t go a day without using his ex as a punchline. his broader sense of humor came off like he’d stolen a master list of rejected jokes from South Park and married them with boomer comics. he vocally loved ben shapiro and pumping and dumping significantly younger women who weren’t aware of his geriatric status. milan, a 22 year old bar regular that I later befriended, was one of them. incidentally, milan is the same age that I was when I read that short story for the first time.
our mutual friends found it baffling that milan still spoke to him after admittedly feeling used and didn’t avoid the bar like the plague. especially thomas of all people, someone who didn’t even have enough self-awareness to hide his misogynistic ways and seemed to view everything with a vagina as a potential sexual conquest – myself included. we theorized that he had turned to pickup artistry after his divorce and we would all mock him relentlessly for it. but never did this in front of milan, who still felt some strange urge to defend him, even though they were in a relationship with someone else now and had no reason to do this.
the last thing on earth i want to do is concede that something as rotten as thomas could have anything resembling a soul, or depth, or charm, or goodness. but the more i think about it, the more i realize that i’ve had relationships of all flavors that have involved imbalanced power dynamics, and frankly, the jury’s still out on how i feel about them. i mentioned that part of my reason for revisiting it was seeing how i reacted to it in my post-andrew world, and i want to return to that thought.
some of you may remember the infamous story where andrew was drunk very early in the day. i was sitting with him on my couch and babysitting him, and he began getting very handsy with me. i told him that i was uncomfortable and to stop, so proceeded to undress before immediately losing consciousness and falling asleep on the couch. it was objectively not good, and while i struggled to process this through the sheer absurdity of it all, it was one of many incidents related to his alcoholism that would eventually lead to me terminating that relationship. but in spite of that, it’s hard for me to condemn him as a bad person entirely. he could be, it’s not really my place to weigh in on it. i look back on him and i feel a lot of good things, even with the awareness that he was a mean drunk who would frequently behave in strange, irrational ways in his inebriation. even if i could come to a conclusion, i don’t really know what that begets. i guess i’d be angrier at him, maybe, but i can’t say that it’s a useful thing to feel about something that happened years ago.
what really doesn’t make sense is how i feel angrier towards nikki, someone i confided in about this happening, who later forwarded the information i’d told her to this local abuser watch women’s group, saying that he tried to rape me. i was furious, and given a long list of extremely bizarre behavior, a lot of which involved removing most or all of his clothing before doing something strange, it’s hard to say that’s what even happened. it was a shameful moment for me, shameful that i didn’t see it as something that would indicate his future behavior, shameful that this information was being disseminated to people who knew we were together and knew we broke up. and i was angry at her for a long time for it, even if that’s not fair. and there are plenty of people who have done worse things to me than either of them, less legally defined as something like attempted rape (maybe?) and more vindictive than not being a friend to me in the way i need it, and it’s just shit i sit with and have this whole oil smear of complicated, contradictory, and not entirely rational feelings towards. and i feel sometimes that there’s this thing that happens in feminist or women’s spaces where it’s frowned upon to acknowledge how heavy this kind of confusion can be.
the “whore” at the end of cat person was meant to elicit a specific response, this kind of catharsis for a reader who saw it coming through it’s shameless m’lady stock character employment and feels validated through seeing it coming. this is what being a woman is. this is what navigating a dating pool in a world full of horrible men is. it shatters any lingering ambiguity or confusion that often comes with the territory of wondering if the revulsion is justified or just a mismatch in chemistry, or misreading of a room, and jettisons the idea that it could ever be more complicated than that. i guess that’s always what put me off about it. and i feel like that fictional story, juxtaposed against a real one it’s based on about unanswered questions that we won’t ever fully be able to hash out... something about that will always be more real to me.
#i wanna post this to gp too because i think it's Good Shit#but i need to edit out the names and identifying details obviously
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My boyfriend’s brothers once said to me “Sarah, you can’t have every black male actor!” As a joke because every time we watched a movie or show together I recognize the black male actors. I point them out and say “ooh I know him from X or Y show/movie.” And then I follow that up with his name and maybe something about him.
It is true that I find a lot of black male actors attractive but it’s not for the reason I think a lot of people assume. A white woman with a black male “preference” is annoyingly common and, admittedly, wrong. Preferring one race over others is weird and comes off as you fetishizing an entire race. I totally get that, and completely agree with that.
However I realized that, despite always being attracted to black men (and all different races and ethnicity of men, I can’t really say I ever had a preference in how any of my romantic partners looked), that it wasn’t until I began dating my boyfriend that I found myself drawn to more black men in media. It’s because they share similar features and characteristics with my boyfriend. I saw my boyfriend in them, and that made them more attractive to me.
Of course I’m with my boyfriend for many reasons, and not one of those is because he’s black, and I am completely consciously aware that someone sharing similar features as him doesn’t mean they’re actually like him in any other way; but my brain still finds these men attractive anyways. 
I know that just because they have a similar nose as my boyfriend doesn’t mean they also have his sense of humor. I know that just because they share a similar hair texture/style as him, it doesn’t mean they are as kind and generous as him. I know these things. Yet I still find them attractive.
Before my boyfriend I was with a girl (I say girl because we were both 15, so using woman may imply we were older than we actually were at the time), a white girl. That’s also when I found myself crushing on actresses like Kristen Bell. They looked like her. She was blonde with blue eyes. And I found myself drawn to girls/women with blonde hair and blue eyes more. It’s so weird to think back on.
I look at celebrities (and I’m using celebrities because I think we all can relate in some way, instead of just random people I’ve found attractive through out the years) I found/find attractive and then think about who I was with (romantically) at that time. And they all line up. Whoever I seem to be with, the person I find most attractive (even if my attraction to them wasn’t based on looks at all), has a major effects on what I find physically attractive in others.
I may have dates these people for their personalities but once with them, and I began associating their looks with the type of person they are, no matter how illogical it is I subconsciously started assuming that other people who looked like them were like them.
Please tell me I’m not alone in this lol.
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