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i-writeandread-blog · 5 years

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A Portrait of a Tortured You and I - Chapter 1

Okay, so I know I said Wonderland would be back, and it will be... I promise, but I sat down to write tonight and this is what came out. So sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. This new story is an amalgamation of truth and fiction. Many elements in this are from real life events. A writer writes what they know. So, this is really hard for me to share. I almost didn’t want to. I won’t say what parts are real or aren’t. It doesn’t matter. Just be gentle with my new child is all I ask. Thanks to anyone who reads. This is Chapter 1.

I was standing on the shore waiting for my time to board the ferry to an island- that for the next three days would be known affectionately as Mars Island. I had been through the worst eight months of my life and had shocked myself that I managed to pull off this trip. First, because financially, I was a mess. Second, because I was now terrified everyday. And third, because some of the Echelon had been unkind to me, during some of my darkest times.

Eight months prior, I was happy. Not the happiest I've ever been, but I was doing well. I had always battled depression but it was at bay, even though I had had a falling out with my sisters. This falling out forced me to need to uproot my life and leave my beloved California for the east coast where majority of my family lived. Without my sisters as my roommates, I couldn't afford to stay in Cali, as much as it pained me to admit. Sure, I could have moved out and tried to find a roommate on Craigslist, but I was too cautious and I was barely making ends meet with the two roommates I had. It seemed easier at the time to move back "home" with my tail between my legs. Of course, I did it at the worst possible time. A huge hurricane was barreling through the Atlantic Ocean headed straight for us. I arrived the night before all hell broke loose.

Nevertheless, we managed to soldier on. The house flooded, we had to stay at a temporary shelter, but we made it through. Still, the depression wasn't rearing it's ugly head. I was desperately trying to find a job, because there wasn't much out there in a rural southern coastal town. I had a career, but I left it to pursue writing. I was hell bent on writing or nothing at all. Somehow that translated into me getting a job as a waitress. So much for the "nothing at all." I have no idea what I was thinking, to be honest. I guess I felt like it would give me free time to continue to write. It didn't.

I was lonely, my friends were all married with kids and I was stuck living with my parents. Not to mention the dating scene here was as abysmal as the job market. I started working at a local diner, I knew almost everyone who came in, the tips were okay. What wasn't okay was the questions I got.

"What are you doing back here?"

— "long story..."

"Weren't you working at a law office?"

— "no, I was a court stenographer."

"Where's your husband?"

— "dunno, but if you find him, can you point him in my direction?"

And my personal favorite was,

"Are you having a mid life crisis? You're much too young and pretty for that."

— "uhh, thanks?"

So instead of working on my novel, or even reading somebody else's, I poured myself into watching documentaries. My love of true crime led me to watching one about a wrongfully convicted murderer. I was appalled that the justice system had failed yet again. I saw it too often when I was working in the courtroom. But unlike when I was working, I actually could have a voice now. I started going on these different blogs looking for ways to help people who had been hurt by the legal system. By early November, I had met a guy who shared my passion. I wasn't actually helping anyone, so much as just talking about the different cases and once I met Andrew, I didn't go on the blogs anymore. I became enthralled with him. Talking to him anytime, I wasn't at the diner.

I truly thought that Andrew would be the guy I had been waiting for. The man of my dreams. But on December 26th, out of nowhere, he stopped taking my calls. At first, I was worried. Then worry turned to anger, and anger turned to depression. I never did find out what happened. But, I do know he is alive and well, because he accidentally texted me one morning in January. It was meant for his dad. He didn't text again.

This was the start of my year. It wasn't looking so good so far, for 2019. Worse came to worse when I had to work a double on the day after Valentines Day. Sylvie- the other waitress, myself, and Dan- the cook were discussing going out to a bar, but because I was so tired, I ultimately declined. I ended up regretting my decision when they left and I was still fumbling for my keys. Usually, we all left at the same time. It just wasn't my night. Three rowdy teenagers who had been kicked out of the diner earlier for being too obnoxious came out from the shadows, grabbing me and dragging me to the back of the diner. I fought hard, grabbing and pulling at whatever, I could. It was for naught. They punched and kicked me over and over, spit in my face, tore my uniform half off, and then left me there bleeding and unconscious.

My parents had expected me home and sat around worrying when I hadn't at least called to say I would be late. My dad decided after an hour to go looking for me. He pulled up to the diner, saw my car and yelled for me. I whimpered. He followed the pathetic sounds to the back loading area where he found me. The police investigated, but I couldn't remember anything about my attackers. The diner didn't have any surveillance footage and all anyone remembered was they looked like typical kids. They left no DNA evidence behind. I had become a true crime victim.

A month prior, I had thrown caution to the wind and purchased this ticket to the island. I was reeling from the "break up," if you could even call it that and decided, I could make it work financially, as I had a retirement plan I could cash out. Now, after the attack, I was to be out of work for an indefinite amount of time. I had some nerve damage and a punctured lung from a broken rib. I didn't know how I was going to pay any of the hospital bills as I didn't have any insurance. I decided to reach out to the people, I believed were more my family than my actual blood. The Echelon. My brothers and sisters in Mars.

I went onto Vyrt, as some of us still chatted on there and I nervously typed the following: hey guys, haven't been on in a few weeks. Have been missing you all. Several people responded with hellos and where have ya beens. Then, I admitted to them what had happened: well, it's been tough. I was attacked. Left for dead, ya know... the usual. My sense of humor was my downfall here. Many people thought I was joking, but I eventually admitted it was all true and said I was sorry for making it seem so lighthearted. I told everyone how rough things were and that I had sadly cancelled my trip to Croatia. I was lucky, because Adventures in Wonderland refunded me due to my circumstances. Then out of the blue, someone I loved and respected, Natalie, typed: she's so full of shit guys, she just wants sympathy because she's living such a pathetic life. I was stunned. Never once, had I ever went into Vyrt looking for a pity party, and never had I ever been mean or rude towards her. She continued: I bet she never even booked mars island. AiW doesn't do refunds ever! I don't know, guys. She wasn't done, but at this point no one had come to my defense, so she rattled on: I bet she's trying to get Jared's attention. Maybe she thinks he will allow her to come to the island as his guest. I was mortified. I quickly logged out and laid sobbing on the hospital bed. I had no one to turn to after all.

The next day, I had many messages from various Echelon. Some were kind, others were nasty. I decided to just leave the Mars "fandom" behind and try to pick up the mess that was my life. That was until, I noticed an email notification from Shayla. I at first thought it was a form letter email, since AiW had sent out several when they first were promoting the island. But curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on it.

Shayla McGhee

To: Catherine Tyrell

Hi Catherine!

I wanted to let you know that someone decided to pay the remainder of the balance for your Mars Island package. Is it okay for us to process their payment? We haven't issued your refund of the first payment yet, is this also okay? We understand if the circumstances surrounding your reason to cancel will keep you from attending, but maybe you can still join us? Let me know!

Best

Shay

I read and reread the email about a dozen times. Surprised would be an understatement. I couldn't fathom who would have done this for me. As far as I could tell the entirety of the Mars fan base hated me. I pressed the call button and waited for my nurse to saunter in.

"Well look who has a huge smile on her face! What do you need, honey?" She asked.

"Can you ask the doctor to come see me. I need to ask him a question about my recovery process." I wanted to know if it was even remotely feasible for me to travel halfway across the globe in a matter of six months time.

"Sure, dear. I'll see if I can find him doing his rounds. Need anything else?" I shook my head and she left the room.

A few long hours later, I had my answer. If I followed all instructions, I'd be out of the hospital in a couple of weeks and I shouldn't take too long to recover physically. I was warned that I had to follow all the rules or I may not recover in time. I believed in myself and sent a reply back saying, I would be making it to the island without hesitation. I was on cloud nine. If only I knew then what I know now. My recovery wasn't just going to be physical.

That night the nightmares started. The panic attacks started the next day. The need to not be left alone started a week later. I was an emotional wreck. I don't even know what triggered it. My therapist says, "The human brain is a tricky one. Sometimes it takes time for trauma to sink in." I was diagnosed with severe PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. The depression I was used to, the constantly being afraid, I wasn't.

I wanted to be normal again, but no matter what I did, I was always in a state of alert. I began checking the locks on the doors many times before I was satisfied they were truly locked. I would jump at the slightest sound. I'd burst into tears randomly. I couldn't watch TV because everything had violence. Even cartoons were getting bad. I was miserable, only leaving the house for doctor appointments. I was a shell of my former self.

The time for the island got closer and closer, but I was in no position to travel. I was almost completely agoraphobic. One day, my mother who didn't necessarily want me to travel alone came in to my room, where I was still sleeping at noon. "Okay, enough is enough! Get up! I know you're sad, I know you're scared, but you aren't doing anything the therapist has suggested you do. You need to fight this head on. No stop pulling the blankets over your head! Wake up!" I grumbled and sat up, yelling. "Can you NOT, Mother! I don't need your bullshit, right now." As soon as I said the words I felt sick. I was never one to treat my parents with disrespect. I hated who I had become. Fortunately, my mother took it in stride. "Catherine Leeann Tyrell, I'm only going to say this once, you ever talk to me like that again and there will most certainly be hell to pay. This is your one get out of jail free card. I'm going to let it slide because I know you are terrified. But you can't live like this anymore. Bad things happen all the time. They happen to everyone. You are not the first person to have this happen to. As special as you are, you're NOT that special, that you'd be the one and only person to be attacked. Now, some nice person did you a favor and paid for you to have a wonderful experience. Are you going to let their money go down the drain because you can't be bothered to at least try to live again?"

My mother's monologue shook me to the core. She was right. I needed to confront this head on. She then dropped a letter on the bed and walked out. There was no name or any sender information. My mother had already opened it, no doubt to protect me in case it were something bad. I sat there staring at the contents. Laying in my lap was a cashiers check in the amount of $3,000 and a note. It simply said: "for your travel arrangements to Croatia."

#thirty seconds to mars #30 seconds to mars #jared leto #campmars #marsisland #jared leto fiction #jared leto fic #jared leto fan fiction #jared leto fanfics #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fanfiction #echelon

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orbemnews · 3 years

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Roger Berlind, 90, Dies; Broadway Impresario Who Amassed 25 Tonys Roger Berlind, who produced or co-produced greater than 100 performs and musicals on Broadway, together with such vital and box-office hits as “The E-book of Mormon,” “Expensive Evan Hansen,” “Metropolis of Angels” and revivals of “Guys and Dolls” and “Kiss Me, Kate,” died on Dec. 18 at his residence in Manhattan. He was 90. His household stated the trigger was cardiopulmonary arrest. Throughout a four-decade profession within the theater, Mr. Berlind backed a few of the most unique work on Broadway and amassed an astonishing 25 Tony Awards, one of many largest hauls on document. (Hal Prince, one other prodigious Tony-winning producer, collected 21.) Mr. Berlind helped convey buoyant musicals to the stage, just like the smash 1992 revival of “Guys and Dolls” with Nathan Lane, in addition to refined literate dramas, like the unique 1984 manufacturing of “The Actual Factor,” Tom Stoppard’s dazzling exploration of the character of affection and honesty. “The Actual Factor” swept the Tonys, successful for finest play and finest director (Mike Nichols) and garnering high appearing awards for Jeremy Irons, Glenn Shut and Christine Baranski. His path to Broadway was oblique. In a position to play the piano by ear, he fancied himself a songwriter, however his dream of creating a dwelling that approach fell flat and he went to work on Wall Road. He was a companion at a brokerage agency when tragedy struck: His spouse and three of his 4 youngsters had been killed in an airliner crash at Kennedy Worldwide Airport. Inside days, he resigned from his agency. “The entire thought of constructing a enterprise and making a living didn’t make sense anymore,” he informed The New York Occasions in 1998. “There was no extra financial motivation.” After a interval within the wilderness, he discovered his strategy to Broadway, which helped him rebuild his life and set up a complete new profession. “The numerous factor about Roger is that he made an unbelievable turnaround,” Brook Berlind, his second spouse, stated in a cellphone interview. “His life was totally bifurcated by the accident,” she stated. “There was Act I and Act II. I don’t suppose many different individuals might have gone on to such success after such disaster.” Success on Broadway got here slowly. Mr. Berlind’s first manufacturing, in 1976, was the disastrous “Rex,” a Richard Rodgers musical (with lyrics by Sheldon Harnick) about Henry VIII, which the Occasions theater critic Clive Barnes stated “has nearly every little thing not going for it.” Because it occurred, the music of Mr. Rodgers bookended Mr. Berlind’s profession. His final present, of which he was one in all a number of producers, was the darkly reimagined Tony-winning 2019 revival of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma!” (That present made Broadway historical past when the actress Ali Stroker grew to become the primary one who makes use of a wheelchair to win a Tony.) After “Rex,” Mr. Berlind co-produced six different exhibits earlier than he had his first hit with the unique 1980 manufacturing of “Amadeus,” during which a mediocre composer burns with jealousy over the genius of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The play, written by Peter Shaffer, directed by Peter Corridor and starring Ian McKellen and Tim Curry, took residence a number of Tonys, together with finest play. Two extra successes rapidly adopted: “Refined Women,” a 1981 revue with music by Duke Ellington; and “9,” a 1982 musical primarily based on the Fellini movie “8½” a few tortured movie director going through skilled and romantic crises. Alongside the way in which had been loads of flops. Producing on Broadway is all the time dangerous, with no surefire system for successful. It grew to become much more difficult within the late twentieth century, as theater individuals migrated to Hollywood, labor and promoting prices soared and excessive ticket costs discouraged audiences. Getting exhibits off the bottom required an increasing number of producers to pool their assets, and even then they had been unlikely to recoup their investments. Certainly one of Mr. Berlind’s achievements was staying within the sport. Regardless of the challenges, he took probabilities on exhibits as a result of he believed in them, and since he might afford to lose as usually as he gained. “I do know it’s not price it economically,” he informed The Occasions in 1998. “However I really like theater.” His successes included “Proof,” “Doubt,” “The Historical past Boys,” the 2012 revival of “Demise of a Salesman” with Philip Seymour Hoffman and the 2017 revival of “Howdy, Dolly!” with Bette Midler. Scott Rudin, who produced about 30 exhibits with Mr. Berlind, stated that Mr. Berlind was propelled by “monumental fortitude and persistence.” “He was not dissuaded by the obstacles that dissuaded different individuals,” Mr. Rudin stated in an electronic mail. “He had monumental positivity, which is way, rather more uncommon than you would possibly suppose.” That grew to become evident after the terrorist assaults of Sept. 11, 2001, when Broadway went darkish for 48 hours, an indication of the financial uncertainty that hung over the town. On the time, Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani urged theaters to reopen rapidly, and so they did. However a half-dozen exhibits closed, and one on the verge of doing so was “Kiss Me, Kate,” during which Mr. Berlind had been deeply concerned and of which he was enormously fond. He was enthralled with Cole Porter’s music, and every little thing within the present had clicked. The winner of 5 Tonys, together with finest revival of a musical, “Kate” had been operating for practically two years and was not scheduled to shut till Dec. 30, 2001. However due to a pointy drop in ticket gross sales, the manufacturing was going to shut early. A cut-off date of Sept. 23 was introduced. Simply earlier than the curtain rose on what was purported to have been the ultimate efficiency, Mr. Berlind, a modest man who evinced little of the showmanship typical within the theater, took to the stage. He held the closing discover in his hand and ripped it up. “The present will go on,” he declared, to an already emotional viewers. The forged and crew had agreed to quit 25 p.c of their pay and to donate one other 25 p.c to purchase tickets to the present for rescue employees. The transfer allowed “Kate” to maintain operating till its scheduled Dec. 30 closing. “That was my Merrick second,” Mr. Berlind later informed The Guardian of London, referring to David Merrick, one in all Broadway’s famously outsize showmen. The Guardian went on to reward Mr. Berlind’s exuberant London manufacturing of “Kate,” which opened that October, as “an emblem of the indomitability and charm underneath strain of a neighborhood, certainly a metropolis, that has been reeling since 11 September.” Roger Stuart Berlind was born on June 27, 1930, in Brooklyn to Peter Berlind, a hospital administrator, and Mae (Miller) Berlind, an novice painter who gave portray classes whereas elevating her 4 sons. The household moved to Woodmere, on Lengthy Island, when Roger was 3. He attended Woodmere Academy and went on to Princeton, the place he majored in English. His campus life revolved across the theater. He joined the Triangle Membership, which performs student-written comedies, and Theatre Intime, a student-run theatrical group. Years later, in 1998, he donated $3.5 million to construct the 350-seat Roger S. Berlind Theater as a part of an enlargement of Princeton’s McCarter Theater. After graduating in 1952, he joined the Military and served within the Counterintelligence Corps in Germany. At one level he was on a troop ship with Buck Henry, the comedian actor and author who died this yr, and the 2 usually created exhibits for the troopers. When Mr. Berlind returned to New York in 1954, he was decided to change into a songwriter. “He liked the big-band music of the ’40s, he might play nearly any tune from the American songbook and he had a fantastic reminiscence for lyrics,” his son William stated in a cellphone interview. His personal tunes ran to the straightforward and nostalgic, as mirrored by their titles, “Lemon Drop Girlfriend” and “Isn’t It a Rainbow Day?” amongst them. However Tin Pan Alley was uninterested, and, needing a job, Mr. Berlind was pointed by pals to Wall Road. “I had by no means had an economics course in faculty,” he informed Playbill in 2005, “and I had 26 or 28 interviews earlier than anybody would rent me.” He labored for 4 years at an funding home, then in 1960 co-founded a brokerage agency, Carter, Berlind, Potoma & Weill, which went by varied iterations till it was acquired by American Specific in 1981. His companions alongside the way in which included Sanford I. Weill, who grew to become chairman and chief govt of Citigroup, and Arthur Levitt Jr., the longer term chairman of the Securities and Alternate Fee. It was a heady time for Mr. Berlind. However on June 24, 1975, his world stopped. He had gone to the airport that day to fulfill his spouse, Helen Polk (Clark) Berlind, and three of their youngsters — Helen, 12; Peter, 9; and Clark, 6 — who had been returning to New York from New Orleans after visiting Helen Berlind’s mom in Mississippi. Whereas on strategy to Kennedy in a extreme storm, the Boeing 727, Japanese Air Strains Flight 66, was swept down by a wind shear and crashed, killing 113 of the 124 individuals on board, together with Mr. Berlind’s household. Their son William, 2, was at residence in Manhattan along with his nurse on the time. As he grew up, he had unresolved points round what had occurred. “Roger was so broken by the accident that he didn’t spend as a lot time with William on this topic as he might have,” Ms. Berlind, who married Mr. Berlind in 1979, stated. Lastly, a psychiatrist informed Mr. Berlind that he wanted to reply William’s questions, even when he requested the identical factor time and again. Ultimately, this proved therapeutic for each father and son. “He was current and robust for me,” stated William Berlind, a former reporter at The New York Observer and author for The New York Occasions Journal, who adopted his father to Broadway and collaborated with him on a number of exhibits. “He was marked by the tragedy,” he added, “nevertheless it didn’t eat him, and he persevered.” Along with his spouse and son, Mr. Berlind is survived by two granddaughters and a brother, Alan. In time, pals related Mr. Berlind with individuals within the theater, and he was quickly immersing himself in the complete strategy of placing on a present. He had a fame for usually being extra aware than many producers about not interfering with the inventive course of. However Mr. Berlind all the time insisted that the work he backed have benefit. Whereas he stored a chilly eye on the underside line, he may very well be seduced by sheer artistry. “He had been a tricky and profitable businessman, however in his theater life he was besotted by expertise, and that’s what he invested in,” Rocco Landesman, who produced “Guys and Dolls,” “Kiss Me, Kate” and “Proof” with him, stated in an electronic mail. “He liked his flops nearly as a lot as his hits,” Mr. Landesman added. “And every time one in all his exhibits closed, Roger was ‘accessible’ once more.” Supply hyperlink #Amassed #Berlind #Broadway #Dies #Impresario #Roger #Tonys

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bangtanfanfiction · 7 years

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Secret relationship || 01

Next part

♢ Pairing: Jungkook x Celeb!Reader

♢ Word count: 5.7 k

♢ Genre: Fluff, slightly suggestive and tiny bit of angst.

⌲ Description: Not only is Y/N a famous singer in America, up in the ranks with people like Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande. But she’s also dating a k-pop idol...in secret.

A/N: Geez I’ve been writing this one shot for two days straight now, along with editing a lot of pictures for it to make it seem more realistic for you guys. Hope you’ll enjoy it! It’s supposed to be a one shot, but I might make more of this couple if you want! Maybe where they go public? ;) Who knows, just give me a shout and it might happen <3

Some people might wonder what could be worse than going hungry.

That’s easy.

It’s being woken up when you were deep within the dream landscape in a wonderful daze. That is until someone thought it funny to slap a pillow on her face.

Y/N groaned loudly and opened her tired eyes to glare at her manager that stood beside her bed. She was looking bright and ready to go on with her day, unlike the girl sprawling on the bed.

“You get up at this moment missy!” Her usual cheerful voice said sternly, with hands on her hips.

Her name was Elizabeth. A woman in her late thirties bordering on forty. Despite her age she looked just as youthful as ten years ago. Her skin was light and flawless of any wrinkles, and her blonde hair was held up in a trendy bun. She had been the manager of the lazy girl since the very beginning when she was discovered by her current agency. The woman quickly took the girl under her wing and became a somewhat surrogate mother when she was separated from her real one.

“Noo, i’m sleepy!” Y/N whined and pulled the duvet over her head in protest.

“Do you know what time is it?” Elizabeth frowned, not that the girl could see it.

“Too early to be awake…” was the mumbled reply.

“It’s three thirty! In the afternoon.”

The girl in question let out a exasperated sigh before removing the warm duvet and peered up at her manager. “I still don’t see the problem.”

With a roll of her eyes, the woman yanked away the blanket and ignored the whine that came with it. “The problem is that you have an award ceremony to attend in two hours and still lazing around!”

It didn’t take her much more effort before Elizabeth had yanked her up from the bed and pushed her swaying form into the shower. Y/N emerged twenty minutes later in the bedroom - awake for once. A bathrobe was wrapped around her body as she dried her hair with a towel.

The hotel bedroom had already been turned into a salon by the time she was finished and was almost unrecognizable to the eye. Her now made bed had at least ten pair of shoes lined up in order and color, and on the side stood a rack of dresses. All ranging from two pieces to more short and simple ones. The vanity table was now covered with hair and makeup products as Y/N’s staff was fixing up the last details to begin. Taking a deep breath, she went and sat down on the chair in front of the mirror, and it didn’t take them long before her hair was being blow dried and brushed at the same time.

Y/N just let them do their work on her hair as she absently browsed through her social media to pass the time. She only flinched a few times as her hair was tugged a bit painfully, but mostly ignored it. It was almost the girl fell asleep again when her phone dinged loudly, telling her she had a new message. Blinking herself awake, Y/N took a look at her screen before a smile lit up on her face.

A small giggle escaped her lips as she could just imagine him saying it in person. Her fingers tapped on her screen quickly to reply. She barely needed to wait a few seconds before he had already sent an answer to her own message.

Y/N couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows at the innuendo. Others reading the message could easily mistake it as harmless banter and teasing, but she knew her boyfriend better than most people. And if he had an opportunity to turn it into something sexual, then he would. Quickly typing back, she put down her phone as the voice of Elizabeth called out to her from by the rack and she turned around in the chair to face her - being cautious, seeing how her hair was being styled at that moment.

Her manager was looking conflicted as she browsed through the dresses with a determined mind. Sometimes shaking her head and sometimes nodding in approval.

“What do you think about this one?” She asked and held up a two piece in dark purple. The top was a high neck and beaded all over, and the skirt was flared out to her mid thighs.

Y/N shook her head, “It looks like something I would wear to prom.”

“Really?” Elizabeth asked and held up the outfit to closer inspection.

“Looks like something my daughter wore to her prom,” Y/N’s makeup artist, Yvonne, spoke up with a pointed look as she organized her brushes.

With a defeated sigh, the older woman put it back in place before rustling around some more and pulled out another dress. This one was a long floor gown, probably tight sitting on her body. It was gold and way too bedazzled. “This?”

“Liz, this is the Billboard awards, not the Oscars,” the girl sat in front the mirror said with a small grimace.

And she was a bit right at that. The dress looked too extravagant for wearing at a music award. With a small roll of her eyes, Elizabeth put it back on the rack and continued to search for something that was more fitting.

“Is this simple enough for you? Because there is nothing more normal than that,” her voice had taken a exasperated tone to it.

Y/N was just in time to catch the fabric that was flung in her face and held it up to look. It was perfect. The dress was simple, yet sexy and elegant. Which is something that was more her style than all the other over the top dresses. It was pretty low cut on the chest, but she never minded details like that. It was pastel pink and tight on her body as she slipped it on with some help. Yvonne was quick to take over after her hair was done, and kept muttering about how she couldn’t work well under stress as she applied foundation on the skin. Y/N had been so occupied with her clothes that she didn’t notice the new message on her screen, and locked up the phone to look at it. The reply made her roll her eyes with a small smile, until Yvonne hissed at her to stop moving and lean her head back.

Y/N didn’t know how much time had passed as the brushes on her face kept being switched out and replaced with another. Her eyes had remained closed the entire time, as the eyeshadow was being applied to perfection. It was after the glue of her fake lashes had dried, that she slowly opened them to look in the mirror. Her skin looked smooth and glowing from the highlighter. The eyeshadow was a light smoky eyeshadow with a sharp winged liner that made her green eyes pop. Yvonne had done an amazing job on her eyebrows like usual, which normally looked like a mess in her own opinion. Her dark brown hair tumbled down her back in luscious curls and stopped right above her waist. Yvonne had her posing to snap a few pictures on her phone until they were quickly stopped.

“Alright, alright, you’ll have enough time to pose on the red carpet! We really have to go now!” Elizabeth stressed as she chucked Y/N a couple of white platform heels before moving out the door.

“It’s a magenta carpet by the way,” Y/N felt the need to correct teasingly, as her manager glowered in reply.

Her whole team rushed down to the parking lot and into a black fancy van that stood ready waiting for the celebrity to come. The time was fifteen minutes past six, and the carpet had begun at six sharp. But she relaxed knowing that it was normal to come a little late, as barely anyone actually comes in time. Or else the carpet would be packed by the first minute. The car drove through the thick traffic of Las Vegas as they neared the arena where the awards were being held. She remembered that she still hadn’t replied to Jungkook’s message and decided to send him a picture of her outfit for tonight.

As her thoughts slowly drifted to the man she called her boyfriend, Y/N couldn’t help but feel her smile turning into a small grin. It seemed almost impossible to think about how him and her even met in the first place. She was a world known artist from the states, while he was from South Korea, in a category that was slowly climbing up to the top. They met for the first time about a year and a half ago, when she went to Seoul for a trip with her family. Her mother was half Korean because of her grandfather, and so they had family there. Despite Y/N barely looking anything like a native Korean at all with her green eyes and tan skin, she was still taught Korean from the moment she was born. Her mother made sure of it so she could communicate with their family living over there. Her father was a typical American man, her dark brown hair and tan skin coming from him. While her eyes came from her mom. But in the household that Y/N grew up in was a bit of a mix of both cultures. She was taught the typical things as honorifics and manners that her mother grew up with, while her father was more relaxed and chilled out and brought the more “American” side to their small family. For breakfast they would sometimes have rice and kimchi, and other times eggs and bacon.

The first time she met Jungkook was a total accident. One of her close friends that she gained in L.A was Amber of all people. Who had suddenly moved one day to pursue her music career in another country. They had met up when she arrived, and Amber invited her to join to one of those music shows to visit and support some of her friends that were promoting at the time. Y/N had agreed as they quickly made their way towards the MNET building or whatever it was. She never thought that many in Asia knew who she was, despite her huge success in America and Europe. But when they got backstage of the music show, many idols had gasped and dropped their jaws at the sight of her there. That was when Amber reminded her how popular she actually was.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually shocked. You’re Y/N! You’ve dominated the charts several times and had several world tours. Do you want me to remind you of your VMA’s wins?”

She had quickly stopped the older girl from keep gushing about her so called big achievements before they made her sound arrogant to others. Y/N had greeted those who said hi to her in fluent korean, that possibly shocked them even more. She had sheepishly dragged Amber quickly away to meet her friends before anything else could happen. The backstage area was so small and tight that it took some work to push past all the people being in there. Y/N had stupidly enough lost her only guide and was suddenly pushed as she tripped over her own feet clumsily, right into someone's back. That person happened to be Jungkook, who in instinct had quickly turned around and steadied her with hands on her shoulder. Y/N can still remember how embarrassed she was and kept apologizing and not even notice how still he had gotten. He was staring at her with wide eyes and mouth dropped slightly open, and the first thing he said was: “Whoa...”

But the both of them somehow hit it off quite well, despite Jungkook being a bit shy after that, seeing how one of his favorite artists literally bumped into him. He never imagined to even have the opportunity to see her in person, let alone talking to her. They had exchanged numbers and kept in contact during her time in Korea. Sometimes even meeting up to hang out. The communication was a bit limited when she left again and schedules filled up both her and his time. But they managed to become the greatest of friends in just six months. Involving a lot of calls and long night skype conversations. The next time they met in person was when his group had a show in her hometown, and of course she had to go. It wasn’t until face to face that both of them realized that they had developed feelings for each other, which was a big problem. Jungkook was an idol, a big one at that. His group was thriving for the success that they worked for, and had such dedicated fans. They couldn’t ruin that because of their selfish reasons. Or that’s what Y/N had told him when he confessed to her. She didn’t want to be the reason for his fans to hate him and start leaving the fandom. It seemed too risky.

She was just lucky to be in the kind of industry where fans weren’t as possessive over her like they were to him. She’s dated a quite few people through her career and had it gone public almost instantly. Yet it never was something big. It was just a part of life, and her fans knew that. But their cultures were different, and she had to respect that. But being the stubborn headed pig that her boyfriend was, he refused to let that “small” detail get between them. And he promised to make it work. And here they were today, a year later and still going strong and in secret. Her fans had already figured out that she was dating from her Instagram posts, if it was them holding hands or cuddling in bed. But all the pictures were taken in a angle where they couldn’t see his face. So his identity was still a mystery to all her fans.

Y/N was shook back to present time when the van came to a smooth stop, and she could hear the muffled yells of fans from the outside. Looking out of the window she saw the magenta carpet being filled with people. Both paparazzi, celebrities and interviewers alike. With a small knock from Elizabeth against the window, was the door of the van pulled open as she stepped outside. A couple of screams and yells were heard at the sight of her, as she turned around to wave quickly at the fans. Her manager was by her side through it all as the woman ushered her in front of the rows of photographers. There were voices everywhere that called out to her to look here or there. Y/N did it calmly as she posed and smiled from different angles. The magenta carpet past by pretty quickly for her, as there was always something to do. Whether it was getting interviewed or saying hi to friends that she hadn’t met for a while.

After all the hype that was going on the carpet, Elizabeth had pushed her inside the building and backstage to where her wardrobe was assigned to be. Sadly she would not be performing today, but she was nominated for several awards as well. Backstage were so many familiar faces that she had to stop and greet several of them and being stopped herself. So the trip took a bit longer than necessary. But as she continued down the hallway, seven familiar forms standing in a half circle slowly came into view. They were talking to someone, she noted. Y/N followed their eyes to see another familiar person standing there, dressed in a long red dress. As she came closer, his eyes flickered up to meet hers and she saw the way his shy smile dropped and his eyes widened the smallest of fractions. Not trying to be obvious to the many people around them, she decided to make her presence known.

“Camila!” Y/N called out with a bright grin as the woman in question turned around and smiled at the sight.

The seven boys had reacted at her voice as well as they all looked up.

“Oh my gosh Y/N!” Camila replied excitedly and lifted her dress as she met her halfway.

Both girls wrapped their arms around each other in a tight hug.

“You look amazing,” the now solo popstar gushed as she took in her outfit.

Y/N scoffed with a smile, “Stop it, look at you! Damn girl, you’re hot,” she winked and got a shy giggle in reply.

“Seriously I’ve missed you so much,” Camila pouted. “What’s going on with you lately?”

“I know i’ve been really absent, sorry,” Y/N said with a small frown herself. “It’s been really hectic ever since the album dropped and all that.”

“I get it,” she replied back. “But we have to hang out soon, it’s been like forever!”

“Ugh I knoow,” Y/N answered with a groan. “I missed you so much.”

“Same, it’s pretty boring not talking to you for a long time,” Camila grinned. “But are you going to Drake’s after party later?”

Y/N’s eyes flickered quickly to the boys behind them before meeting her friend’s again. “I’m not sure. He sent me a message about it, but i’ll have to see.”

A voice cut in their conversation as they called out to Camila to go and prepare for her performance that was one of the first during the show. With a small frown, the popstar quickly hugged her again and promised to talk later if possible before departing with her small team trailing behind. It was at that moment she finally turned to face the guys who had been respectively waiting for the conversation between the two girls to end.

“Look who it is,” Hoseok was the first to speak up in Korean with a bright grin, before moving forward and catching her in a hug.

Y/N laughed slightly and returned it. The boys all moved forward one by one and hugged her eagerly as they were also a bit more relaxed to see a familiar face in such a big place. Jungkook had been last as he walked up to her with a small smile, as she returned it. Y/N reached up and fixed his tie slightly before looking up at him.

“Hey there handsome,” she grinned before hugging him around the waist.

He returned it tightly and rested his chin on top of her head as his arm rested on the back of her waist. They didn’t stay like that for long as there were a lot of people backstage with them and they didn’t want it to look too friendly for prying eyes.

“How are you guys feeling?” Y/N had asked them as she stood back and took a quick sweep over their clothes.

“Nervous,” Yoongi replied with a small shrug.

“You don’t look very nervous,” she raised her eyebrows.

And he really didn’t. He stood in a very casual way with hands in his pockets.

“You shouldn’t let his cold facade fool you of all people Y/N,” Namjoon said with a pointed look.

“Probably not,” she shrugged in reply as they all chuckled. “But i’m so excited for you guys!”

“It’s pretty unbelievable,” Jimin nodded in agreement to her words.

“Come on you’ll all do fine!” She assured them. “Most of the fans here are for you after all, so you’re definitely not alone.”

Her words seem to relax all of them a bit more as they regained their confidence back. She could understand why they were so on edge. They were in an unfamiliar country, with a language that most of them don’t speak, surrounded by artists that they had only seen on screen. It could get very intimidating.

“Bangtan you have to find you seats,” One of their staff members suddenly said as they all began move.

“We’ll talk to you later Y/N!” Namjoon waved at her.

“I’ll catch up,” Jungkook said to his members as they all nodded in understanding.

One of their managers stayed behind to wait for the youngest member but they stood a bit farther away to give them some privacy, and Elizabeth seemed to do the same as she was occupied with something on her phone. The couple had moved away from standing in the middle of the hallways to instead leaning against the wall to draw less attention to themselves.

“I missed you so much,” Jungkook finally sighed out as he tucked a small strand of hair behind her ear.

“I missed you too,” Y/N smiled gently up at him.

The distance between them was at a respectful length that both seemed to dislike, but they couldn’t do anything about it.

“You have no idea how much I want to kiss you,” he said as his eyes kept flickering down to her lips.

She giggled at his words. “Later, I promise.”

“You better keep it,” he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Oh you know good I am at keeping those kinds of promises,” she stated with a smug tone.

Jungkook smirked slightly as he stared at his girlfriend. She was so beautiful that it was almost painful to not be able and touch her, or hold her like he usually does.

“We should go, the show is starting soon,” Y/N finally said as he nodded in agreement.

It seemed like she wasn’t going to have time to go to her wardrobe at all with all that just happened. They both turned towards their managers as they understood and started to lead them out towards the venue. As they walked side by side, she could feel his hand resting on her back. But the moment they came out into the seating area, his hand fell back to his side as they separated in silence to go towards their respectful seats. The boys were a bit further in the back, while Y/N had hers on the very front.

The show went by quicker than Y/N had imagined where she sat alongside stars like Nicki Minaj and Drake. She never did speak too much with the female rapper as they both obviously had different interests and never really came across each other face to face before. Drake on the other hand, she had met a couple of times and spoken with. Which was also the big reason for his invite to the after party. They were both huge stars that enjoyed the attention of the public a bit more than Y/N ever did, but they weren’t terrible to be seated with. During the breaks between the show they were both friendly and involved her in conversations, seeing how she was sat alone and not with someone more familiar. It was about time when the award for top social artist was going to be presented, that everyone in the arena noticed how the crowd sitting on the sides were getting wilder for each second that went by. Y/N smiled smugly at the display BTS fans showed to their favorites.

“What is going on?” The infamous voice of Nicki had asked as she looked around in bewilderment.

“They’re going crazy,” Drake noted with a curious tone.

But as the presenters finished their dialogue, the screen for the nominees started to roll as the first artist came on. The applause for Justin Bieber was normal as some cheered. But when the familiar sound of Blood, Sweat and Tears echoed through the arena, screams were going crazy as most people flinched in surprise. The moment BTS was called up as winners, Y/N stood up on her feet and clapped as all the fans went insane once more, and kept chanting the group name. Others clapped in respect, but there was confusion clear in their eyes as they didn’t recognize the name. Y/N was the only one to stand on her feet from the front row when the seven boys passed in disbelief. Once seated again, she couldn’t stop grinning as Namjoon delivered the beautiful speech in fluent english. She could feel the pride blossoming within her as she cheered loudly when they went off the stage. After that the rest of the night went quite quickly as there was nothing much to look forward to. Y/N had been nominated in the same category as BTS, but they obviously took the win.

As the crowds within the arena began to disperse, she met up with Elizabeth again who had been waiting backstage. Her team all went into the van as it pulled out and drove back towards the hotel they stayed at. The day had been longer than she expected when she arrived back in her room alone and took a look at the clock. It was almost 1 AM. Feeling the energy slowly leaving her body, Y/N went to take a quick shower and clean off her makeup and changing into some comfortable clothes when her phone dinged.

Before he had sent another message a knock sounded loudly from her door as a new message appeared quickly after.

With wide eyes she rushed to unlock the door and saw Jungkook standing on the other side with a grin. He was dressed in a pair of comfortable shorts and a white t-shirt. He was wearing some slippers on his feet. Slippers that looked exactly like those that the hotel had given her at arrival.

“You’re at the same hotel?!” Y/N exclaimed as he stepped inside and locked the door.

“Guilty,” he said sheepishly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?�� She asked and followed him.

“I didn’t know myself,” Jungkook admitted. “I asked Elizabeth about it earlier.”

He turned around to face her and without warning bent down to press his lips against hers. Y/N let out a small sound of surprise, but found herself quickly kissing him back as a pleased sigh escaped from her.

“I’ve been waiting all day to do that,” Jungkook muttered as they separated, with his arms wrapped around her waist. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

Y/N smiled as her arms looped themselves around his neck and she stood on her toes to get closer. “I think as much as I’ve missed you.”

Jungkook smiled as he took in the sight of her in his arms again after so long and pressed a peck on her forehead. They both stayed in each other’s embrace for a while longer before moving to the bed and laying down together.

“Are you staying tonight?” She asked as she played with the collar of his shirt.

He was absently threading his fingers through her damp hair and hummed in reply. “We’re leaving a bit later tomorrow for L.A.”

“Really? Looks like we have the same plan.”

“Mhm, our schedule is packed for the next two days with interviews and according to our manager hyung, the requests keep coming.”

Y/N chuckled, “That’s what happens when you’re the first k-pop group to win a billboard.”

“Yeah no kidding,” Jungkook sighed mockingly.

“When are you flying back to Korea?”

“I don’t know yet,” he replied. “We’re leaving straight to Australia for the concert after the interviews.”

Y/N frowned slightly, “Oh…”

Fingers were placed under her chin as they pulled up her face to look at him. Jungkook smiled gently at her. “Let’s not worry about that. We have tonight.”

She smiled in return and cuddled closer into his arms before taking out her phone and quickly snapping a picture of their position and posting it on Instagram.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook chuckled.

“Boasting to the world how wonderful my boyfriend is,” Y/N replied with a grin, when suddenly the phone was taken out of her hand and she was pushed back against the bed.

A small “oomf” came out of her mouth as she looked at him hovering over her body. Gone was the gentle smile and eyes filled with a loving glint. Instead there was a steady smirk, and his brown irises had gone darker with lust. None of them needed to say a word as they both reached towards each other in unison and locked their lips in a passionate dance. Their tongues in a battle for dominance as their movements became more frantic as lust clouded both of their minds.

Y/N woke up to the feeling of strong arms wrapped around her waist and a breath tickling the back of her neck. Blinking away the sleep clouding her eyes, she looked around the room with a dazed look before turning around. Jungkook’s sleeping face greeted her as he breathed in and out in deep sleep. His hair was a bit messy from their last night activities that lasted for a while, before they both fell asleep in exhaustion. The duvet covered only his waist and down as his muscled chest and abs were exposed to the air. With a small smile she leaned over and pecked his forehead, before gently removing his arm around her body. Slipping out of the bed, Y/N shivered slightly from the air brushing over her nude skin before she quickly changed into sweatpants and a white normal crop top. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, before taking a brush to get rid of the obvious sex hair that was on her head. She walked back out into the bedroom to see her boyfriend slowly coming to life as he yawned and stretched his body.

“Sleep well?” she couldn’t help but smirk a bit.

“Like a baby,” he replied smugly.

Y/N chuckled before bending down to take his shorts and boxers before tossing them in his direction. He caught them effortlessly and stood up from the bed, not the least shameful to be naked in front of her and slipping into his underwear.

“How did you sleep?” His groggy morning voice asked her as he walked towards her and wrapped an arms around her hips.

“Amazing,” She answered while fluttering her eyes dramatically and he laughed lightly.

Jungkook bent down to give her a kiss on the lips, but she stopped him quickly with a hand. “Morning breath,” she warned. “Go brush your teeth, you can borrow mine.”

With a exaggerated roll of his eyes, he shuffled towards the bathroom as his girl gave his butt a teasing slap as he passed.

While he was getting ready Y/N took a quick glance over her room and began to gather up all her clothes and belongings to pack them in her suitcase. She didn’t want to stress with all of it later when Elizabeth would come storming in. It was quickly finished as she didn’t bring that many belongings, before she opened the screen of her phone and hundreds of twitter and instagram notifications greeted her.

“What the hell...?” Y/N muttered as she went into her twitter feed and looked at what it was about.

Her eyes widened slightly as she saw pictures and collages of a few shots of her and Jungkook from yesterday. It was when they were backstage and talking together alone, as well as when she had hugged the rest of the group. Y/N foolishly forgot that even if they were backstage, nothing was a secret there. There was even a small 6 second videoclip of the two of them walking away and cut right off when his hand rested on her back.

As she scrolled through all the mentions frantically and it was obvious that the BTS fans were dying of shock and curiosity.

‘OMG Y/N AND BTS INTERACTED’

‘Holy shit they hugged her so comfortably!’

‘WTH I never knew BTS and Y/N were close???!!!’

‘JUNGKOOK AND Y/N TALKING I PRIVATE??? SOMEBODY EXPLAIN’

‘Did we miss something?’

‘International playboy is out playing again’

‘Daamn Jungkook is getting it, just look at his hand’

‘Are they dating?’

‘They can’t be dating can they?’

‘I NEVER KNEW THEY EVEN MET!?’

‘I went to sleep and wake up to chaos, like wth’

Thousands upon thousands of fans and comments swarmed the internet along with all the pictures and video being shared around. Y/N knew that it didn’t look as bad as the comments made it be. But just seeing all the reactions to it made her feel uneasy.

“Fuuuck,” Y/N groaned out as she ran a hand through her hair.

“What’s wrong babe?” Jungkook’s voice asked her as he came out of the bathroom, a towel drying his hair. He must have gotten a shower as well. She was probably to occupied to notice.

“Twitter, Instagram, facebook!” she stressed out and met his concerned eyes. “The whole internet is going crazy!”

“What do mean?” he asked in confusion, and held her shoulders to calm her down.

“Someone took pictures of us yesterday backstage talking, and now the whole world knows,” Y/N explained with a look. “Your fans are going crazy.”

Jungkook tensed slightly as a small frown overtook his features. He took her phone and looked at what she spoke about. Comments in english, korean and other languages were discussing about the news. Several articles had already been posted. He took a glance at his girlfriend and saw her pacing around the floor as a nervous look was on her face. Locking the phone, he put it on the table before stopping her in her frenzy.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said looking into her eyes.

“How?! They’re never going to give up!”

“Y/N, those pictures are harmless. We weren’t touching or kissing. We were only conversing, and it’s normal to interact with new people. I’m sure the Bang PDnim is going to call and figure this all out if it becomes any bigger, but when the time comes we’ll figure it out. Together, alright?” His words had visibly calmed her down as Y/N relaxed and nodded along to his words.

Jungkook pulled her into a tight hug as she returned it with a small sigh. “We’ll get through this, I promise,” he muttered and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you,” Y/N mumbled into his chest and tightened her arms around him.

“I love you too.”

#jungkook #BTS #bts fanfic #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook fluff #fanfic #jungkook reader #jungkook x reader

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26th August 2018

There are many, and I mean many, new arrivals this week so let’s just get on with it, I’ll try to keep everything brief.

Top 10

“Shotgun” by George Ezra stays steady at the top, as does its runner-up.

Yep, “In My Feelings” by Drake featuring City Girls is a non-mover as it stays at number-two.

“Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey, on the other hand, is moving up a spot straight to number-three. I’m legitimately surprised at how quickly this is increasing, but I really doubt this is going anywhere higher than here.

Oh, and we have our first of two top 10 debuts this week, with “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith entering the charts at number-four, which would be impressive if it weren’t Calvin Harris and Sam Smith, who do stuff like this all the time.

I am happy that Loud Luxury and brando’s “Body” is entering the top five here, as it ascends a spot to number-five. The song’s really growing on me.

“God is a woman” by Ariana Grande takes advantage of the Sweetener album release and increases by six spaces to number-six. Not complaining at all, I like this song.

“No Brainer”, meanwhile, by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo and Chance the Rapper, has fell hard, four spots to number-seven.

Oh, and you know how a lot of artists stylise their songs in different ways? Well, Ariana Grande did that with every track from Sweetener (except one or two exceptions) and yeah, especially with the exceptions, it looks so unprofessional and lazy. I bring this up because the next song is called “breathin” and it’s by Ariana Grande featuring ILYA, debuting at number-eight. Come on, guys, your song title looks like a text message. At least it’s not in the same route as Aphex Twin or Lil Yachty, and their messy tracklists.

“Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B has not moved at number-nine.

Neither has “Taste” by Tyga featuring Offset, still barely clenching on at number-ten.

Climbers

There’s one. Literally one song has climbed by any notable amount. Other than one song, the biggest we have outside of the top 10 is by three spaces, so, yeah, the 14-spot climber, and the only climber worth talking about, is “Don’t Leave Me Alone” by David Guetta featuring Anne-Marie, now at #23, which I’m not necessarily bothered about at all.

Fallers

Now here is where it’s at. Let’s talk about all the relatively notable fallers, sorted by genre.

Starting with pop, we have “Youngblood” down eight positions to #15, while “If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years is down four spots to #33 and “2002” by Anne-Marie is down five spaces to #37.

EDM really suffered this week, though, as Jonas Blue’s “Rise” featuring Jack & Jack has descended 12 spaces to #17, Tiesto and Dzeko’s “Jackie Chan” featuring Preme and Post Malone is down a whopping 16 spots to #24, while Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa’s “One Kiss” slogs down six spaces to #28, right next to “Ocean” by Martin Garrix featuring Khalid, down four to #29.

Hip-hop and R&B had tough drops as well, hell, you could argue, they struggled even more. “Don’t Matter to Me” by Drake featuring Michael Jackson jumps down nine spots to #27, as Drake’s other track “Nonstop” has stopped gaining any traction down four spots to #30, while ZieZie’s “Fine Girl” is down five to #35, as Nicki Minaj’s “Bed” featuring Ariana Grande absolutely collapses by a whopping 16 positions straight to #39, ironically a spot away from #40, which has its spot taken by “I Like It” by Cardi B featuring Bad Bunny and J Balvin, down nine spaces from last week.

Dropouts

Usually, when there are a lot of losers, there come a lot of songs dropping out of the charts as well, and it’s not any different this week, as “Better Now” by Post Malone is just forced out of the charts from #16, with “STARGAZING” by Travis Scott closely following from #27. “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble is also out from #39, joining another soundtrack single from Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, “When I Kissed the Teacher”, out from #40. The absolutely wretched “Barbie Dreams” by Nicki Minaj is out from #36, while “First Time” by M-22 featuring Medina is also pushed out from only #24. Wow, it was a massacre in terms of losers and drop-outs, probably due to the immense amount of new arrivals, despite a surprising lack of returning entries from the late Aretha Franklin, and any at all, for that matter.

The Ed Sheeran Update

Where’s Ed Sheeran, you ask? Well, “Perfect” hasn’t moved from #61 and “Shape of You” is down four spots to #80.

NEW ARRIVALS

Alright, I’ll try and keep all entries of a decent yet not extensive length, especially since there are freaking seven of these to talk about.

#36 – “In My Mind” – Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino

So, from what I can gather, Dynoro is a mysterious UK producer who just recently made his breakthrough with this mash-up. Yeah, this is a remix, I suppose, but this is borderline mash-up as it not-so-subtly intertwines elements from both the 2012 track “In My Mind” by Ivan Gough, Feenixpawl and Georgi Kay and the hook of the song “L’amour toujours”, a song released in 2000 by Italian DJ Gigi D’Agostino, which was a smash hit in a lot of Europe, but didn’t chart here in the UK. Yeah, so they’re sampling two songs, one of which is a quite memorable and some may say nostalgic track in order to lazily find a way for people to remember their song so they can get a hit without much effort. All that aside, is the track good enough to redeem the shady business practices? No. Not really. As I said, it’s basically a mash-up so it’s hard to really judge the song on its own merits, especially as it’s just some generic house with a rather ugly bass-synth wobble and a mind-numbingly repetitive hook. Not feeling this one’s concept or execution, at all.

#31 – “Happier” – Marshmello and Bastille

Oh, hey, Bastille, doing another track with an EDM producer for no good reason! I do like these guys, though, they’ve made some damn good, catchy, fun indie pop and pop rock in the past, and I still return to some of their hits like “Good Grief” and “Pompeii” to this day. The collaboration they had with Craig David was... okay, but knowing Marshmello’s track record of being mostly utter garbage, I don’t exactly have high hopes, and after listening, I can’t blame myself. It has some pretty okay skittering percussion and some nice strings in the pre-chorus, but the drop is so weak, man. Bastille’s lead vocalist is not straining himself at all, but he’s not putting much effort in either, some of this just feels like talking over copy-and-pasted guitar strumming and a synth in the drop that sounds like it has better things to do than spending time with a hack like Marshmello. It probably does, to be perfectly honest. That last pre-chorus is pretty cool, though, because the members of Bastille actually get some good guitars in, and there is a bit more “oomph” to the production generally. That drop sucks so badly, though, God. The song ends with “I will go”, which is somewhat amusing, I suppose. Skip this.

#26 – “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” – The 1975

Okay, first of all: what on Earth is that godawful song title and what the hell does it mean? Secondly, the 1975, what on God’s earth are you doing, and why?

It’s dancehall-ish pop. It’s tropical, vocal-sample-infected dance-pop with some Caribbean influences that are now typical of modern British popular music, with some awfully autotuned vocals from our lead singer, Matt Healy, here, who said just a few days or weeks prior, that no big rock band is doing anything unique or interesting right now, compared to what the 1975 is doing... you say, as you make one of the most predictable, trash-tier electro-pop songs I’ve ever heard, taking a page out of the Imagine Dragons’ book of separating yourself entirely from the rock scene. Healy’s band is one of the most popular rock bands at this point in time, so it’s expected for them to make some pop tunes, but given Healy’s pretentious lyrics in the last two tracks they’ve released, which I didn’t like as much I wanted to but at least appreciated for what they tried to do, as well as his recent statements, this song just seems rather hypocritical and (not like Healy would have changed this) borderline unlistenable and amateur. I can’t even say I expected much better.

#22 – “sweetener” – Ariana Grande featuring Pharrell

This is the first of two songs to debut from Ariana Grande’s newest, recently-released album Sweetener. Now, I haven’t listened to the album in full yet, but I am looking forward to as the singles seemed promising. I loved “no tears left to cry” and liked “God is a woman” and “the light is coming” a hell of a lot, so I’m excited to check out the record. The title track, however, does not really show any of the promise I saw in those singles. Jesus Christ, this is bad.

It starts with a pretty monotone piano melody while Grande sings pretty greatly as always, but then the percussion and bass kick in for a repetitive, kind of nonsensical hook, which is just pretty insufferable, while in the verses, Grande prefers to talk-sing over Pharrell’s goofy “sheesh!” ad-libs, which also repeat throughout the rest of this song, for some inexplicable reason. Yeah, I’m assuming Pharrell produced this, and I’m also assuming that whoever transcribed the Genius lyrics to this, who had to listen to this on full blast God knows how many times just to get the accurate transcription of those Pharrell ad-libs, because they seem to be subtly different each time and while I appreciate attention to detail, I hate when that detail goes into something as moronic and pointless as Pharrell ad-libs. This gets a “sheesh” from me.

#16 – “All I Am” – Jess Glynne

Oh, okay, more Jess Glynne, we needed that after the trainwreck that was “I’ll be There”. So, what specific parts of her potential will be wasted in this song? Actually, wasn’t this promoted by Spotify ads? It must be good then. Well, it’s not bad, but it’s not particularly interesting either. It’s just some desaturated piano and annoying yet only brief vocal samples backing some house-like rhythm and Jess Glynne’s as-pretty-much-always fantastic vocals, which are only really all that prominent in the catchy hook. The wobbly synth-bass that shows up throughout kind of feels somewhat out-of-place but it’s also barely noticeable outside of the verses, so, call me stumped. I have no opinion on this song whatever – the pros outweigh the cons but there are simply not enough of those pros to make it all that good. It’s okay. It’s not like I’d change the station but it’s not like I’d turn the volume up or anything.

#8 – “breathin” – Ariana Grande featuring ILYA

So, this is the ninth track from Sweetener, featuring production, instrumentation and uncredited background vocals from Ilya Salmanzadeh, or ILYA, and it not having Pharrell related to it at all should be good, right? Well, kinda? I love the vocals here, but I’m not surprised by that at all, instead I’m surprised by how fun this instrumental is for such a dramatic song about anxiety. There’s a barely noticeable bass supporting a pounding drum beat and some nice synth and piano melodies, as well as what I assume are pretty rapidly-clapped handclaps in the second verse, and the drop is pretty fun too, with Grande ad-libbing over what could either be some strings or vocal manipulation, it’s anyone’s guess, but you know, it sounds good enough, despite doing absolutely nothing for me. It’s listenable and I’m not going to say it isn’t a damn good attempt at an inspirational anthem, but I’m not really all that in the know about why this song was any special, out of all the songs on the tracklist. Maybe when I listen to the rest of the album, the reason will be is that the rest is pretty terrible, and knowing Pharrell and his attempts at producing modern pop music, that’s probably the reason, but I’ll see. For now, this is pretty okay, but I don’t see it growing on me in time as much as stuff like “Better Now” and “One Kiss” have.

#4 – “Promises” – Calvin Harris and Sam Smith

Now, part of me hoped this was going to be utter rubbish so I could ask Calvin Harris to “promise me no promises”, but even if it was, I don’t think it’d be all that worthy of any jokes being made out of it. There’s some nice UK Garage-influenced percussion that Sam Smith usually excels in, but those backing vocals are bloody awful and the laughing is obnoxious, and Sam doesn’t seem to be putting any effort in at all. It’s not even catchy, and the piano is nothing more than an additional instrument to add to what seems to be some kind of experimental minimalistic artsy masterpiece I just don’t get, I don’t know, I seriously don’t see the appeal or any reason I should write more than I already have. What is the point of this existing? I’m curious.

Conclusion

I don’t have much passion for this show in particular anymore, and it’s weeks like this which get me to that point. When the artists aren’t bothering whilst making the art, why should I bother analysing it? Anyway, since I kind of have to, Dishonourable Mention goes to The 1975 for “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME”, yep, that’s right, it’s not even getting Worst of the Week despite being one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. The song that does its job as a pop song with the least care is “Promises”. Worst of the Week goes to Calvin Harris and Sam Smith for making a song that shouldn’t and probably doesn’t actually exist, yet here it is, and I don’t understand how this song even got in the top 100 other than star power. It’s not catchy, it’s not interesting and it’s barely even an accessible pop song, it’s just noise, with no real hook or anything that grabs me. Best of the Week goes to nothing and there’s nothing that is an Honourable Mention here, so why not tie Dishonourable Mention with Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino for one of the laziest hit songs I’ve heard in a while, “In My Mind”, and introduce another category: “Sheesh of the Week”. The song that is just hilariously dumb and maybe even so bad it’s good gets Sheesh of the Week, and it’s pretty obvious that Pharrell and Ariana Grande get it this week for the category’s namesake, “breathin”. See ya next time!

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andyplayslongwar2 · 6 years

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Day 22: Operation Steely Fear

This one has been a long time coming. This mission to prevent an Advent Dark Event first showed up on my radar 16 days ago. We finally launched it and had another successful mission for Dark Carnival although there were a few injuries along the way.

Operation Steely Fear

Date: May 2nd, 2035

Advent was in the process of moving Dr. Dimitra Baros, a brilliant scientist and potential defector. X-Com was altered that the van they were holding her in would be fairly unguarded so Dark Carnival was sent in to extract her.

The squad was:

Hadassah Yosef, ranger Deanna “Magic Girl” Bennett, ranger Ben “Chief” Serviss, sniper Lauren “Panzer” Kelly, gunner Noam Malcah, assaulter

and the team was lead by Stephen “Juggernaut” Smith, grenadier and officer.

We landed with our target to the North West. Our evac point was on top of a gas station right in front of us. Unfortunately, the only viable entrance to the roof was all the way on the North side of the building, past the van. Luckily, we had twenty turns to free Dr. Baros and get out.

Yosef has the Every Vigilant ability, allowing her to go on overwatch at the end of any turn where she spends both actions moving. As such she is an excellent scout. She ran up and spotted a small pod to the North.

There was a good sniping spot that Ben could take but it would leave her exposed to the West, so Juggernaut went over to scout it from a safer spot first. Good thing he did, because there was another enemy pod to our South West.

This put us in a spot. A few of our units had already spent their actions and would likely be spotted on the enemy turn. Furthermore, these two enemy groups were on either side of us. If they both became altered, we would be flanked.

The pod to the North was much further away, so it was my hope that they would wander off, possibly before the pod to the south moved. At any rate, I put as many of my people as possible on overwatch, positioning the ones that had not already moved on the Eastern side of cover to protect them from both groups.

Before either pod got to go, a new pod entered from the West, almost equidistant from the other two.

The Southern pod (a mech, a sentry and a drone) spotted us as predicted. Deanna, Panzer and Ben all fired on the mech, taking it down.

We got lucky. The pod to the North must have wandered away because they did not hop in. The sentry and engineer from the West took up positions and Yosef got a reaction shot off on the engineer, dealing five points of damage and killing it.

With the pod to the North not in the equation (for now), and a relatively successful round of reaction fire, we were left with only three enemies: a drone and two sentries. Noam started things off by running towards the sentry who was threatening to flank our group from the rear. He delivered a deadly blast from his shotgun.

Deanna missed the drone with her first shot but took it down with her second. Yoseff could have moved on the remaining sentry, but she was the furthest North of any of my soldiers, and as a result, moving her at all risked waking up the enemy pod in that direction. I opted to have her reload and go on overwatch instead. Panzer suppressed the sentry.

The sentry attempted to shoot Juggernaut but missed.

Back on our turn, Noam used run-and-gun to clear the distance between himself and the sentry. This woke up the pod to the North who scrambled for positions. I figured this was likely, but our squad was now in a much better position to handle the drone, officer and trooper waiting for us.

Noam shot the sentry he had moved on and the rest of the team thought about the best way to deal with these new foes to the North. Ben started by taking our the drone.

Yosef dashed to a spot the would put her in a flanking position when she went on overwatch at the end of the turn. Deanna moved up and missed her shot. Panzer suppressed the officer and Juggernaut launched a flash bag at the trooper.

Another drone flew in to replace the one we had just destroyed. Then the officer ran straight at Yosef. The ranger was caught off guard by the aggression but still landed her reaction fire, dealing three damage to the officer. Not enough for a kill, though, and the officer took a nearly point blank shot on Yosef which luckily missed. The trooper also fired at her and missed.

The next turn was a comedy of errors. X-Com is a game about mitigating randomness and the phrase “That’s X-Com Baby” had become synonymous with 99% shots missing. When considering just how many turns will happen in a typical campaign, sometimes the player is going to roll a one five times in a row. This turn wasn’t disastrous and I’m sure I’ll have worse, but man did Dark Carnival miss some shots on this turn 4 of this mission.

It started with Yosef missing her first shot against the officer right next to her. And then missing her sawed-off shotgun shot as well.

This seemed fine, though, because the officer only had three health. Deanna moved up and spent the last of her ammo on a 97% Walk Fire shot. No dice.

I hadn’t planned on her having to focus on the officer but Ben aimed her sniper rifle... and missed. This officer was meant for great things.

Noam had no chance of hitting the officer and went after the drone right next to him instead. Miss.

Juggernaut was our last hope and took an admittedly low chance shot on the officer. If the 97% shot couldn’t do it, his 45% certainly wasn’t going to.

Finally, Panzer used suppression on the officer, knowing better than to throw good bullets after bad. The team took six shots and connected on zero.

This, of course, meant that the officer was beginning its turn right next to Yosef. It was suppressed, but at that range it didn’t take much. The officer connected, dealing four damage to Yosef.

The drone hit Noam for two damage and disoriented him.

On our next turn, the fog seemed to lift and my soldiers were able to hit things again. Yosef started things off, killing the officer on her first action. She used her second action to heal herself with the medkit she brought with her. Since they were going in without a specialist, I was especially liberal with medkits when equipping the squad.

Juggernaut used Focus Fire on the drone to give Noam a better chance of hitting it and to bypass the one point of armor that the drones have. It worked. Despite his confusion, Noam took down the robot.

Juggernaut attempted to kill the trooper with a frag grenade but the Advent survived by one. The rest of the team didn’t have shots or had to reload so the trooper went into the next turn without any kind of penalties.

A rocketeer and drone entered form the North. The trooper decided to join them, retreating in that direction and going on overwatch.

Noam used his Lightning Reflexes to tease out the overwatch fire from the trooper.

He had no good shotgun targets but had a clean shot on the rocketeer with his arc-thrower so he tried to knock out the dangerous Advent. No luck though, as the jolt from his stunner went right over the enemy. As she often does, Deanna moved in and finished the job.

Yosef shot down the drone and Panzer suppressed the trooper once again. This was enough to disrupt the trooper who spent his turn reloading and missing a shot on Noam.

Ben moved up a bit to holo-target the trooper and Deanna missed her second Walk Fire shot of the mission. However, Yosef was able to land the killing blow.

From here it took several turns, but we ran up, opened of the van to get the scientists out and then worked our way to the North side of the large building. We used the ladder to get on the roof and backtracked across the map to the evac point on top of the gas station.

No new enemies showed up and we were gone before reinforcements could arrive. A few of my soldiers took a few hits, but nothing grave, and we came back with a new scientist ready to help out in the lab.

MVP : Deanna “Magic Girl” Bennett

As usual, Deanna kept the heat on Advent the whole time. Even with a few missed shots, she was my goto for mopping up hard to hit enemies.

Promotions

Four this time around!

Hadassah Yosef was promoted to corporal and learned Covering Fire, improving her overwatch. She earned the nickname “Pinto.”

Ben “Chief” Serviss was promoted to sergeant and learned Lone Wolf, giving her better aim and defense when she is far from the group.

Deanna “Magic Girl” Bennett reached staff sergeant and learned Executioner, making her even better at hitting enemies at less than half health.

Noam Malcah reached corporal and learned Close and Personal, increasing his critical chance at close range. He was given the nickname “Coyote.”

Back at the Base

Although not everybody was ready to go back out, I decided that it was worth it to send the healthy members of Dark Carnival on a smash-and-grab mission that would expire in three days. We always need new supplies and a team of five could still reach full infiltration. I did swap in Wildcat who isn’t usually in Dark Carnival for a squaddie because with such a small group, we need our best.

This month we got a supply drop that actually had supplies thanks to being forced to take the rebels in East Africa off of intel.

We finished making contact with South Africa before flying over to pick up the goods.

Right after that we got word that Advent had launched another retaliatory strike in East Africa. They could probably tell that we were getting close to liberating the region and wanted to do everything they could to punish our people there.

We had 24 hours to respond, so I decided to launch Operation Bone King, helmed by Doom Dressage, a bit early. If everybody comes out safe, we will be able to turn right around and send them to protect the haven.

See you next time ad Doom Dressage attempts to rescue another scientist!

If you want a rookie named after you, tweet at me here.

#xcom2 #long war 2

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