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randomwriteronline · 15 days

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Bionicle and Plato's Cave: Mata Nui help us Random has been thinking again

HI. MY BRAIN HAS ONCE AGAIN BEEN SCRAMBLED. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING.

A thing about stories is that there aren't really fully, one-hundred percent original ones. This is not a bad thing, it just happens.

Stories keep repeating one another whether we like it or not, maintaining their own identities through a variety of changes, and Bionicle repeats many, many stories within itself: you've got Polynesian mythos, fantasy epics, dystopian fiction, cosmic horrors, torahic and/or biblical episodes, a subversion of Pinocchio, an Odissey cut short... The works. I'm half certain one would manage to fit some parts of the Divine Comedy in there, probably.

But speaking of deeply allegorical works, the Organic Annal is that too - specifically bearing a resemblance to one of Greek philosopher Plato's most famous allegorical myths, that of the cave.

For those who do not know it, please have a simplistic bastardized version of its first half, which is the most relevant in this case:

A group of men have been, since birth, shackled within the deepest recesses of a cave. They are sat facing a wall upon which a fire casts the shadows of figurines (a tree, a donkey, a vase, etc) placed before it: this is all they've ever known, what they perceive to be reality. Imagine, then, that one of these prisoners manages to free themself from their restraints, and for the first time looks back. Thus they discover the figurines, the fire, and the lie they thought was truth; and though it would be easy to consider these new idols the "true" reality, the prisoner looks past them and sees that the cave stretches forward. As such they crawl through it until they reach the outside world: the sunlight forces their eyes down as they are not used to it yet, and their first taste of this new environment is a reflection in a puddle, or maybe a lake, wobbly and not quite clear. Only when they've accustomed to the Sun they can raise their head and properly discover the real world.

The myth of the cave is an allegory for the philosopher's quest in search of true knowledge, which resides not in the imperfect physical world, but in the perfect metaphysical realm of ideas.

This is not, necessarily, the allegory I believe the Innard Scoresheet represents.

The Biological Chronicle is, to me, a story about stories. About making stories, about being swept in the flow of a story, about recreating ourselves in stories over and over and over again.

I promise it will probably make more sense later.

But back to the point: the myth and the Flesh Record follow a similar structure and have a similar message. That is the thesis of this post until I inevitably get derailed again. Let's look at that.

In applying the steps (shadow, copy, reflection, reality) of the philosopher's journey towards enlightenment to the Meat Diaries, I'll do what Plato would bludgeon my head with a stick for and take them much more literally: the places described are physical ones, and the characters actively move between them. This is not because of any personal wish to specifically spite some dead Athenian fuck, but because that is literally what happens in the Entrail Annotations, whether through actual movement or changes of perspective.

The island of Mata Nui is of course the first step: shadows cast upon a cave wall.

There is a certain irony in this. Mata Nui shares the same allegorical location as the cave, yet physically is its complete opposite - an open space signaling the end of an enormous interconnected system of caves. The journey starts from the end. Great job everybody, we've found reality! This philosophy shit is easy.

But the island is still very much the cave. It looks prettier and livelier than the cave, but it's still a prison in which the Matoran have been confined with no chance of escaping; it's still cut off from the world at large, be it beneath it ir around it; it's still a place where beings who do not know any better blindly believe what is told to them. Only seven people know the truth (or what they believe to be the truth) and spin it in tales of shadow puppets: simplistic retellings full of gaps to fill with magic and terror and prophecies. The Turaga mean no harm - they had no way to know when or if they would have ever returned to Metru Nui, and it made no sense reminding the Matoran of a place they may end up agonizing to see without being able to - but it remains that Mata Nui is a cave, a prison of ignorance.

Things change after Mask of Light: shackles broken and door opened, the silver sea stretches before the Matoran and offers them a sight familiar yet different, more defined.

Metru Nui is the figurine, the copy held in front of the fire. It's the first introduction to the Matoran Universe proper, the first step towards the cave's exit. Here we see how the Matoran are supposed to work, how this sort of society is meant to function, and it... well, it sort of sucks the joy out of it, doesn't it? The soft edges of the figurine's shadow have been replaced by hard protodermis sides that leave no room to the imagination, letting us see the craftmanship clearly. And it's... it's kind of unpleasant. Kind of dull and mean and so... unmagical. I'd like the shadows again please. Those were nicer.

(Plato describes this exact happenstance in the philosopher's journey - upon seeing something closer to the truth one might feel repelled and want to return to simpler times. But we persevere. We must.)

Or perhaps this step is not Metru Nui itself, but the Turaga's recollection of it. The city they knew is now gone, abandoned to itself and rotting miserably alone for a thousand years, and yet they still cling to that pristine image their minds have sculpted for it, forgetting details, crafting imperfect copies of its reality: their own stories place it in a time before time, turn it as they say in a "city of legends", of great minds and a great hero and a strange tension pervading it that they might not consciously recognize. This is their basis for the stories they told, and they believe it to be the truth. It is not. The truth is deeper behind them.

The Matoran Universe as a whole is a reflection in the water. We've gotten out of that cave, but it's still too bright and our eyes can't adapt quickly enough: this will have to do for now.

But what is it a reflection of? A body? That's a given, since the whole thing is housed inside one. Yet this body does not behave like a body, its organs don't act like organs. They are landmarks and settlements, and there are species and parties involved in their own more or less treacherous businesses, and death is everywhere and seldom spares anybody, and evil isn't a singular incomprehensible thing but many perfectly identical pieces, and everything is happening all the time and I would like a break. Please. I can't handle all of this. It's too close to how everything already is. Let's go back to the figurines. They were worse than the shadows, but not to this extent. Please. I just don't want to see the bad guys win. I just don't want to see my friends die.

(Upon seeing something closer to the truth one might feel repelled and want to return to simpler times. But we persevere. We must.)

The Matoran Universe is a terrible place, but it's still far away. The edges are wobbly when the surface shifts: the stakes are universal in size, the rivalries are exaggerated, the situations are fantastical, the evil so terrible and terribly simple. It does what it does because it simply does it, and after all why else should it do it? In its increasing complexity it's still simple and sometimes a bit silly. It's still dolls that you can hold in your hand to make fly around.

As @sepublic mentions briefly here, Bara Magna is by contrast just so human. Before the big bombastic Rock-Em-Sock-Em Jumbo Edition ending and peeling away the sci-fi elements, these are stories of people trying to live. This is reality.

People are sleazy. People have priorities that not always include the well-being of other being put first. People are evil for reasons beyond just "power" or "money" or "why not". Strakk is a massive selfish bastard and also he is the one motherfucker who gets me because to be very honest I too would not want to wade through a desert crawling with quicksand and huge bat winged serpents and raptor riding marauders and spartans so bloodthirsty they don't even name their children until they make a new body count record without being paid well enough. Mata Nui's idealized honor makes him a complete anomaly because nobody is a prince in shining armor here. They're all covered in bones and doing their best not to start a war again.

Even his quest, despite what it entails and how solemnly he presents it and the information we as readers have (his identity as a usurped god exiled from his own body), is surprisingly real - in fact, his struggle is actually the same as Kiina's: both of them are strangers to the region suddenly separated from their people during a time of great strife and desperately wanting to reunite with them. The difference being that while Kiina had no chance to do such a thing, Mata Nui was built to fix both of their problems.

This is what the Matoran Universe is made in the image of. And while it very much deviated across time, the core of it remained the same: elemental tribes and variegated species caught in a dance of death, biting each other's tails endlessly.

This is the world the MU beings find once fully free. It's rough, but they've been through something like this before.

They'll handle it.

They always have.

That is the will of the Non-Mineral Journal.

Of Bionicle, the story-that-ended.

BUT.

Not necessarily of Bionicle, the story-that-does-not-end.

Now we are getting into "Random Experiences Getting The Brain Scrubbed By The Hard Back Of A Sponge And Makes It The Problem Of Everybody Listening To The Inane Yelling" territory. I'm talking walking into headcanon if not straight up just fanfiction territory. Possibly also sensible speculation but I don't know how to tell. Please do come smack me if you feel it is needed.

It's wild that Bionicle has managed to endure for what now (2024) are 23 years. The endless rebuildable possibilities intrinsic to being a LEGO product have certainly helped, but at the same time I really do feel like it wouldn't have held this strongly without its story.

I will admit I'm not a building kind of person. I had some ancient LEGO bricks when I was little and what I usually did with them was stacking them in a really tall line and try to keep it upright until they fell and scattered like lemmings booking it for a cliff. Getting into Bionicle would have never been possible for me had my dear beautiful friend @cantankerouscanuck not innocently dropped me links to Legends of Metru Nui, Web of Shadows, and the Crosswired Geeks website asking if I could have please considered skimming through it. This was back in september 2023. These pieces of plastic have been irreversibly fucking up my brain for nine months, and it was only possible because the plot and characters were written in a way that actively sunk its teeth into my skull and did an alligator death spin so potent that I'm still reeling from it, thinking about it.

I do think that's one of the main reasons why it's still going, why people still talk about it. It lives on through fans who still look at all the enormous potential left by the gaps and holes in the story and work on them, analyze them, make their own versions of them. So this second section is about that part of Bionicle, the story that just does not end, carried on by others.

So back to the point, what actually kickstarted this entire line of thought (the Squishy Note and the allegory of the cave are sort of the same lol) was a headcanon I have about the characters that have been actually missing from this analysis: the Great Beings.

You Know.

The Guys Who Kickstarted Every Single Thing, And Notably Continuously Did All Of It Wrong.

From my own prior knowledge I had understood that they are all Glatorian, and I just learned that they also were, apparently, given their incredible weird fucked up mental powers that made them into godly creatures by a space octopus.

I am going to take both pieces of information and discard them.

There is nothing necessarily wrong with them, except maybe coming from the leftest field available like a sack of granite to the face, but I feel like this kind of explanation for who and what they are isn't really satisfactory to me specifically. It does fit with the allegory of the cave still, technically - they are part of the real world, the ones who created every layer of detachment from it on purpose (somebody must have shackled those prisoners at the bottom of the cave, after all) and have managed to get to a higher level of reality still, following the platonic quest for knowledge into something that resembles the iperuranium, the perfect metaphysical world in which ideas reside.

But also... I'd like for there to be a limit to how higher we can go, you know? Into the cosmic horror? Because everything is cosmic horror in the Doctor's Report already. We live on a god's face. We live in a god's body. We are a god's cells. Our universe is a tiny manmade action figure in a larger universe. Our god is just a synthetic soul. The real older gods made it and sent it around to do their bidding. Also they're all gonna kill us when we figure out our universe is fake. Cosmic horror. Cosmic horror for miles. These are fucking LEGOs. Why is there so much existentialism in them.

So yeah, at the cost of sounding boring the psychic octopus from outer space might be a little bit too far for my personal tastes.

This does not mean I am immune to adding onto the cosmic horror.

Because my personal interpretation of who/what they are still adds onto the cosmic horror.

It just doesn't also include "giant aquatic fauna with psychic powers" in the already very large salad of sentient sapient species who have stakes in this universe, because I think we have enough of those.

So what is my platonic ideal form for them?

The Great Beings are human beings. Straight up just people. They're the readers, the players, the writers, the designers, the creators and tellers of the chronicle itself - they have this immense dominion over everything around them because they are the origin of everything around them in a sense, but their constant failings make sense because for all the influence and power they are still human, and that makes them very, very fallible. I mean, mr Greg "I will rewire your brain chemistry forever with some of the best stuff you'll read as a kid, and also for undiscernible reasons doors aren't canon" Farshtey would be one of them. Things make a lot of sense.

(this is impossible in Stone Cold Canon by the way and I am aware, because if we got to properly see the Great Beings they would have needed to be products to sell, but this is not a matter of probability it's a matter of Vision. like can you imagine how fucking cool would have been a Bonkle movie where the characters finally meet the Great Beings face to face and when it happens the style just completely shifts from 3D animation to a stop-motion and live-action combo with the Great Beings played by people and the characters portrayed by their actual sets with all of the lack of expression and stiff hands and all. do you see it. im about to blow up)

And so, we return to the allegory.

What are the shadows on the wall? Are they still the Turaga's tales? Then shouldn't they be their memories, as well? Everything that comes out of their mouth is hazy either with nostalgia or simplification, and none of it can be real. Yet they present it as such, because to them it is. Their ignorance is the same as the Matoran's, but they do not grasp it because they can't. Mata Nui to them is not the cave, it's the reflection in a lake: an imperfect mirror of reality. They cannot see the fire nor the figurines.

They are the figurines. Man-made creations confined under artificial light in a vast underground system, as large as a whole galaxy and yet so small, so isolated, so far back into the cave they are never meant to know anything other than. The shadows were their own but they can't realize that, and they can't realize they themselves are copies. The Matoran Universe is a puppet show that Teridax shuts down as he takes its reigns: he banishes its fire, Mata Nui (who is a gnostic Demiurge, a god made by gods demanding worship despite its falsehood - another copy not fully aware of being a copy) and shuts the entrance, plunging it all into darkness. No more knowledge. It is not something dolls need, after all.

Bara Magna is not the last step. It is not yet reality, not yet the truth. It's closer, much closer, but it's not: it's the lake, the puddle, the reflection that distorts when something is thrown into it. The stakes are more realistic, the characters and motivations, but not yet real. There is still a layer of separation: the elemental powers, the alien setting, the strange beasts, the supernatural history, the secrets pointing to things much bigger and more fantastical than anything reality could be, the way it is cut short by no fault of its own. What does it reflect? It's not the Matoran Universe, since that is a model based on Bara/Spherus Magna. It's not Mata Nui, because that is an attempt at recreating what the Matoran Universe was, at least in part. So... Is it the real world? Our, world?

It must be.

The Great Beings (us, the players and readers and writers and artists) shaped all of this. This universe is their creation, their work, and it is based on what they know, on their reality, because all stories are.

Maybe it was a story as close to real as possible that turned fantastic and wild until it became mythical, or maybe it was a simple story that grew so complex and grounded that it became life-like. It doesn't matter. It's a long story, a really, really long one, and maybe they're tired of it, or maybe they don't know what to do with it, or maybe they just think it has run its course, or maybe... Maybe they don't know how to tell it again. Tell it like this again.

So... I guess the thing to do is clean up.

Full tabula rasa.

And once we're done we can take these figurines we still have left, the last proof of all this immense work, this spiraling dive into who and what we are, how we function, how we create, how we imitate and recreate ourselves in fictional worlds that are our own and yet completely alien over and over, and make new ones. Distorted reflections that become imperfect copies to place before a fire so that their shadows can play out a new story upon a cave wall, for those same dolls to believe they are real.

God I got sidetracked severely

#bionicle #random talks #HELLO this took me TWO DAYS to write and i somehow reached conclusions i hadnt thought of during the writing process. Help Me #it also brought me Thoughts about g2 that i need to write down in a fic Right Now. it is Fucking Late In The Night. Shit.#also i finished this while watching an in-depth analysis of Emesis Blue (tf2 psych-horror movie) thats TWO HOURS LONG and very interesting #just to give you an idea of my current state #anyways its a mess. enjoy.

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corpseofkingminos · 2 years

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not sure how to finish this one. oooo get 2001 a space odissey-ed no head boy

#im so proud of that backround please reblog this #tpart #artist on tumblr #digital art #<- since there are no fandom tags on this one

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green-arrxws · 1 year

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📁| JESSICA CRUZ/GREEN LANTERN READING GUIDE

Who's Jessica Cruz/Green Lantern?

Jessica Cruz is a Green Lantern. Suffering from crippling anxiety and agoraphobia after nearly being murdered, she was originally chosen as a successor of Power Ring of the Crime Syndicate. Her capability to overcome her fears led to her recruitment into the Green Lantern Corps.

» NEW 52

ESSENTIAL READING

Justice League (2011): #30-39

Darkseid War (Crossover Storyline): Justice League (2011): #41-48 / Justice League: The Darkseid War Special / Justice League (2011): #49-50

» REBIRTH

ESSENTIAL READING

Justice League: Rebirth

Justice League (2016): #1-7, #11

Justice League vs. Suicide Squad: #1-6

Justice League (2016): #14-31, #34-39, #41-43

Green Lanterns: Rebirth

Green Lanterns: #1-17, #19-25, #27-47, Annual #1, #48-57

Justice League Odissey: #1-25

Dark Nights: Death Metal Rise of the New God ("The Weight of Leadership")

additional reading ↷

DC Rebirth Holiday Special ("The Epiphany")

Mysteries of Love in Space ("Valentine's Day")

Secrets of Sinister House ("Fear 101")

Green Lantern 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular ("The Voice")

» INFINITE FRONTIER

ESSENTIAL READING

Future State: Green Lantern: #1

Green Lantern (2021): #5, Annual #1, #7

» ALTERNATE VERSIONS

ELSEWORLDS

Unearthed: A Jessica Cruz Story

DCeased: Dead Planet: #1

POSSIBLE FUTURES

Future State: Green Lantern: #1

» OTHER MEDIA

ANIMATED

DC Super Hero Girls (webseries): S4: EP1-EP4, EP24 / S5: EP23-EP24

LEGO DC Super Hero Girls: Super-Villain High

DC Super Hero Girls (shorts): S1: EP4, EP9, EP12, EP18-EP19, EP22, EP28, EP32, EP34-EP36, EP45, EP48

DC Super Hero Girls (TV series): S1: EP1-EP4, EP6, EP8-EP16, EP20-EP25, EP27, EP30-EP31, EP33-EP35, EP37-EP39, EP41-EP46, EP48, EP50-EP52 / S2: EP1-EP9, EP11, EP13-EP14, EP16-EP18, EP20-EP21, EP24-EP26 / Teen Titans Go! & DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse

LEGO DC Super Heroes: Aquaman: Rage of Atlantis

LEGO DC Shazam!: Magic and Monsters

DC League of Super-Pets

Justice League vs. the Fatal Five

VIDEO GAMES

Injustice Gods Among Us

DC Legends

LEGO DC Super-Villains

DC Worlds Collide

#green lantern #jessica cruz #hal jordan #reading guide #reading list #recommended reading #green lanterns #green lantern corps #yellow lantern corps #yellow lantern #power ring

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rainbowgod666 · 6 months

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Sonic.exe: (drunk as shit) an' uh- you... y... uuuhhh... honestly? Your girl isss... rreeEALLYy cool actshtually... (demoman noises) aa- at leasth you donth av to let a one offf phrase thefine yu...

SCP-166 Epon: (showing off her eìre goddess side) y- yuyeaahhh... thscanks for teaching her about... th-uuuhh thE SECOND AMENDMENT (she- did she fucking down half a pint of hard liquor like th- IS THAT IN THE "APOCALYPSE KNIGHT" CODE?) WOOOOOOOOOO! thiss... thissum gus shite i tellyahwat...- anyway ye t- think its hardd? Boi lemme tell ye, im suppos' ta be the Foundation's WAIFU! And thossshshshsheee...ff... fUCKs go after... (sighs) the fuckin' furrybait shy girll

Sonic.exe: prEaCh girl, thats... thatsh whut ye learned from whenyou uh... l-lived in a c...hurch

Epon: y-yuh cause like... me father's alto cLef yknow??? He focken döömped me thaer! Me name meansh fucken MEESTÆK in HEBREw! Like???

Sonic.exe: at leASt yer creatorshnot a fuken EDGELORD! HAAAAA

(They both drown the cringe in alcohol)

Herobrine: the top sniper of the Creepypasta Unit and the Second Knight of the Apocalypse everyone. (Disappointment intensifies)

________________________________

Tumblr furry: hang on, i get to stay AWAKE and it still counts as anesthesia?

Aubergine Man: its some SCP shit but its actually harmless (turns on red lightsaber) anyway, you said you wanted to transition?

Tumblr furry: yes pls i need the gender euphoria

Aubergine Man: Based.

Aubergine Man: also you get a free blåhaj after gender-affirming surgery and you get three months of hormones free of charge, but then you need a renewal service and depending on the fandom the price can change-

Gaster (from the storage room): afton PLEASE dont advertise during sURGERY

Orochimaru, all the way from the office: yeah! Its annoying!

Aubergine Man William Afton: ah whatever, anyway time for some personalized genital moddding :D

_________________________________

Eric: so... uuhhh

Kyle: no, i wont tell anybody WHAT you used as the generator for dickinbaus

Butters: you promise?

Kyle: considering that i just saw 30 SCPs taped toghether to generate infinite energy from a taco-bell induced diharrea attack from cartman, yeah

Eric: good.

Eric: so... (looms at butter) you wanna do a nuclear warcrime? I want to staple a nuclear reactor to the dickinbaus

Butters: yeah! Nuclear energy!!!

Kyle: what the fuck is wrong with you two

________________________________________

Pomni: what is this... white space?

Ink: welcome to the anti-void

Uncle grandpa: its basically an infinite canvas at the bottom of the undertale multiverse.

Dr.bright: its also a physical version of the Noosphere

Pomni:... a- (spontaneous combustion)

I fucking told y'all

(All the charachters that ever canonically knew or had access to a "white space" like the undertale anti-void/uncle grandpa "intermission space" proceed to nod, agree, and talk about how such a simple concept is THIS complex apparently)

______________________________________

MONIST-1 RA: when i discovered that "Deimos" is also the name of a Madcom Charahcter i... genuinely liked this rock even more

Metat Aun: some people compare me to a scene of an extremely ancient cradle film... "2001 space odissey"... whatever tf that means

P.O.L.L.V.X.: a pilot canonically "pacified" me by having yaoi seggs with me

(Everyone embarassed)

Lancer!Alex (callsign ALPHA): (face bursts from pavement like he got shot from a basement or shit) and i would do it agaaain~

(All NHPs are now currently screaming in abject fear at the UwU NHP-Fucker pilot)

_____________________________________

Collector: why are we in ukraine?

Sonic.exe: i wanna teach you how to use a sniper rifle by killing some REALLY bad russian generals

Collector:... considering my lore, i would like you to define "bad"

Sonic.exe: the one we're "hunting" rn? He kills 10% of his squad every time they lose. And they lose A LOT.

Collector:...

Sonic.exe: were using Alex's "special ammo". This one is .65 BMG, Telekill/Depleted Uranium anti-tank DARPA. And theyre encased in fucking NuclearCraft Extreme Alloy. Because the powder used is so reactive it makes caesium and water look like a fart in a kids cartoon.

Collector:... (realizes that theyre basically launching nukes out of a customized-af barrett) what the fuck is Alex ON when he does these things???

Sonic.exe: the autistic spectrum

Collector: oh yeah right

_______________________________________

(48??u or something idk)

Xian Xiaoli: i need a melee weapon but all i have is the pieces to make a shotgun the size of a Barbarossa!

RA, from a busted radio: then do it?

Xian: how???

RA: let me use my Funny OP-plz-nerf Paracasualty Powers

Xian Xiaoli: (MONIST-1 RA enlightened noises)

Xian Xiaoli: (shudders) whOOH! That actually felt kinda good... thanks!

RA: any day girl!

___________________________________

Shinji: just so you know, i figured that you didnt wanna do this to "save humanity"

Kaworu: how did you know?

Shinji: Kaworu, we have been lovely breeding each other for 6 hours straight. Its 2 AM and were naked under the covers while we cant feel our S H L O N G S anymore, this is TOO gay to be a "world-saving effort", and honestly?

Shinji, fully embracing kaworu: i wouldnt have any other way ❤️

(They then kept being lovebirds throughout the entire night. Rei was the only one who knew about this but shes based enough that when Asuka asked her she roundhouse kicked her into the wall) (because rei is THUG LIFE BAYBEEEE)

_________________________________

SCP-096: wait, WHAT

Umbral: yeah, my name is like this because he thought "Number 96" sounded dumb. And one day he goes "actually when I watched the anime i never figured out your name" SO NOW HERE WE ARE!

096: at least its a good name...?

Umbral: THATS THE ONLY UPSIDE-

____________________________________

Betê Noire betty: please tell me you're joking.

Bright: yep. Were now Alex's OCs because our creatore were associate with Predators

Betty: what

Bright: yeah hes like that

Betty: ALEX IS "LIKE THAT"? HE PHYSICALLY WANTS PEDERASTY TO REMAIN A THING OF THE GREEKS AND NOT A CRIME. Which would be good... IF HE DIDNT WANNA ANTIMEMETICS HUB IT OUT OF THE HUMAN PSYCHE

Bright: yep. He has good intentions, but sonetimes the way he goes about them are... excessively violent.

Betty: and he excuses his mistakes with autism?

Bright: only when its ACTUALLY the autism

____________________________________

Hank: no you dont get it- Rye is the girlfriend, and Chelsea is the emoticona support pillow

Chelsea: exactly

Rye: (whispers to chelsea) wait so we take turns?

Chelsea: (whispers back) yeah girl, i got the assets but you got the wholesome

Rye: (whispering) aww tysm

____________________________________

Hunter: honestly nice UNO win there, anyways why are we in your room and what did you mean by "taking your rewar-"

Willow: (stretches Vine like whip)

Hunter: (blushing HARD) oh shit-

(30 mins later, in the living room)

The collector: (staring right at Luz and Amity with the eyes of somebody that is 👌 this close to SNAPPING.) this is what i hear every fucking time i just wanna play pokemon in PEACE, and you two decide to give more material to the "next generation" part of our fandom.

_______________________________________

Monika: ok no seriously Alex, your mom is right- YOU CANT BUY MORE YUGIOH DUDE STAHP

Need content for unboxing. ( ◕_◕)

Monika: (mental breakdown) why are you like this

___________________________________

Bright: i still feel you did something REALLY stupid

Clef: RE-LAAAAAX. Alex is a literal eigenweapon but he has a moral compass, hes gonna go there and do the job

Shaw: clef. You basically unleashed the only thing that can kill 682 (and then ressurrect it for "natural order" bullshit) on a small CI platoon that managed to get SCP-882.

Shaw: you sent a nuclear bomb eater to recover a nuclear bomb from nuclear thieves

Clef: (realizes that he is gonna be the reason the Veil is gonna be used as a hanging rope for the CI) fuck.

___________________________________________

Epon: why does my "knight" form... excite you so much

Sìgurros: girl, look me in the eyes and TELL me that "fiery war goddes of bare-handed murder with toned abs and large bazonkas" isnt peak waifu

Epon: (teary-eyed from the compliment) t...thank youuuu 🥺

Sìgurrós: exactly :3

____________________________________

Benjamin kirby Tennyson: i feel like i am forgetting something important

Rex salazar: well you know how the reference goes

Daniel Fenton: if you forgot then it wasnt important!

Ben: u guys are right :3 its probably nothing

(Meanwhile, a few trilion lightyears from earth...)

Alex (Gear5): Ğømü ģòmų ñô...

Divinity: WAIT PLEASE NO-

Alex (Gear5): MÜŁŤÏVĘŘŚÉ ĞÂŤĻĪŃĞ!

Divinity: (cant speak on account of getting fisted from across every fandom ever at once)

_______________________________

Belos: what.

Luz: yeah so... Alex is about to kill us all

Alex (Gear5) Alex-ULTIMATE FORM : GOMU GOMU NO-

Collector: and its all your fault

Amity: and YOU wanted to join forces with him

Odalia: yeah i know dear daughter, i mean- you get a girlfriend that is a human with less manners than a wild animal? Eh i can survive that. The literal emperor of the boiling isles being not only ugly, misoginistic and bigoted, but also a massive idiot? Oh titan NOPE

Hunter: yeah... considering what he did until now, if i knew he was THIS stupid i would have defected the instant i saw someone else even remotely smart

Alex-ULTIMATE FORM:

DIGAMMA METEOR!

Eda: congratulations, youre a failure

Belos:what-

(And then everyone died in a gigantic HBM mod themed explosion because yes.) (AND there was epic music behind it because here in italy we use sick beats as condiment for explosions)

_____________________________________

Herobrine: between Entity303 using all our internet connection for yaoi, and SCP-4335 basically being kirby but with even less braincells?

Herobrine: better than the screming italians and their constant overkillage anyway

Bill: the what

____________________________________

Scunt player: what... ARE you?

Alex, omnitrix transformation 250 "team fortress" version SCOUT ultimate form cyberpsychosis scout: im... your upgrade?

Scunt player: that explains the green

Cyberpsychosis scout: those are a ben 10 reference

The entire fucking server: (peeks to see whats happening) what.

__________________________________

Jax: you know, i get that i need to be nicer to others...

Jax: but INFINITE OVER-THE-TOP ULTRAVIOLENT TORTURING IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED

Talloran: BOO! GROW A PAIR!

Jax: (crying in existential pain)

Lmao get rekt

Pomni:... why do i feel satisfied looking at this

________________________________

Pomni: i want to kill.

Caine: what

Pomni: (looks right at caine) you will be the last one to see this place die.

Caine: what???

Ragatha: (blushing) woah uh-

Pomni: (points to ragatha) you shall reign over the aftermath of my fury.

Ragatha:... thats actually kinda hot ngl

Caine: WHAT THE-

_________________________________

049: im sorry what

1048: ok look we get it sounds weird but-

2295: we want to build an EVA unit!

049: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME-

_________________________________________

(Downtime action "Go Diving", gain result 6)

ALPHA: what the fu-

SCP-035: so uhm... if you ever need to know, SCP stuff is compatible with this setting but uuuuhhh... NOT the other way around!

ALPHA: i have questions and that wasnt one of them

_________________________________________

Chara: why does the fnaf movie have a scene where a child does MY "eyes bleeding void" thing?

G. Freddy: in that film im the 「stand」 of a little girl and matpat is there to do the "just a theory" line. Dont ask wtf were the producers smoking

____________________________________

Sonic.exe after hearing about the "pissing on the moon" incident: yeah sure, like eggman actually DID that...

(A few hours later)

Sonic.exe: (traumatized)

Sonic: we told you.

Shadow: seriously, he was drunk, what did you expect.

Sonic.exe: (broken innocence noises)

Tails: is he gonna have that thousand-yard stare for long? I need somebody to debug a program...

__________________________________

Baby: i excuse the glorified dress-up but i draw the line at tHIS

Afton: (doing the California Girls meme as a mass of wires in the Vanny costume... all while the "proportions" are "exaggerated") this is how its fucken done :>

Gregory: really. THIS is the villain of the series?

Baby: the film removed all the nuance dear

Gregory: sick claw tho

Baby: ty

____________________________________

Cyana: (looks around)

Cyana:

Cyana:.

Cyana:..

Cyana:...

Cyana: where the fuck am i.

___________________________________

Susie: kris where the fuck are we

Kris: this is the chernobyl reactor in 1989, we are here because Towa from DBXV wants to stop Boris The Slav Superstar to crawl out of Reactor 4

Susie: oh yeah, side gig at the dragonball time patrol, i remember

Kris: you need some Omega-3 girl

Susie: where the fuck do i find all that fish tho?

Kris: do i LOOK like i would know?

__________________________________

Herobrine: ma dici che qualcuno ci fa caso che noi due (come tutti) sappiamo l'italiano

Sans: seeeeeeeeh come se qualcuno ci facesse caso

Herobrine: la "libreria" a snowdin si chiama "librerbia".

Sans: ...senti un pò blockman-

____________________________________

Alex: im 70% sure this is normal

Cross: Alex, Xgaster is getting springlocked

Alex: yeah thats what i said

Xgaster: (suffering for his fandom crimes in an excessively graphic way)

_______________________________________

Astolfo: being in the testosterone squad is actually really based

(postal dude does a terrorism)

Astolfo: i mean, the only reason im here is that all my testosterone went in my Monster Can and im also pretty sure its also a health problem for future me but hey i get to be the sniper because i have the lowest T of all the squad

Astolfo: (another Gmod explosion in the background) which is probably ANOTHER health hazard. but Duke smokes literal kilos of cigars a day, Postal dude heals using crack, and im pretty sure Slayer is like, 1% Biologically Human so im... probably fine!

Astolfo: we get full health benefits (not just dental) and we kill people as the most masculine team ever, so we're not getting bored anytime soon

(another fucking explosion but this time its CLOSER???) (boi wut dhehel boi)

______________________________________________

Cimmerian: i have no idea WHY am i able to kill Alex by telling him hes wrong.

Cimmerian: and at this point? im not fucking asking.

________________________________________________

Frisk: wait, how did we end up like this?

Betty: see, the thing is, Alex rewrote like three AUs toghether and taped them to eachother, and it WORKED. years later we do wacky adventures and right now were fighting plantera

Asriel, currently escaping from the funny omega flowey joke: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU-

Frisk: yeah its the last part thats confusing

Chara (flying on a- thats a fucking jetpack): Dimensional Breach. we are going deep into Asriel's Terraria file to grab a zenith and unfuck things up back there

Frisk: ok... still doesnt explain asriel's starter weapon being a funny prism tho

__________________________________________

Massive wave of mindustry drones all ominously chanting the "hamburger cheeseburger big mac whopper" song:

Alex: so yeah, im gonna out-drone robotnik

Sonic:...

Sonic:... compared to eggman, robotnik is fucking insane

Sonic.exe: and extremely pathetic

Sonic: exactly my (technically our) point, but still; Alex. WHAT THE FUCK

Alex: IM GETTING THIS FUCKING SECTOR

IM GETTING THIS FUCKING SECTOR

Sonic.exe: oh no hes doing that thing where hes both in and out of this reality

Sonic: fuck

____________________________________________________

Ink: so uhm... should we do something about that?

(SCP-3125 stuck in the threads holding the papers that make the Undertale Multiverse while other SCP gods try to pull him out)

Error: NAAAAAH

__________________________________________________

Uncle sam: (turns out to be an immortal sarkic man that genuinely wants to help)

[REDACTED]: let him cook.

_______________________________________

Vriska: 4r3 y0u 3v3r g0nn4 w47ch 0ur 53r135?

Tf do i know

Vriska: FU-

_____________________________

Shaggy: like zoinks scoob

Shaggy: we fell in the backrooms

Scooby: ruh roh

________________________________________________

Rick:... tumblr is-

Emptier than you expect?

Rick: yeah.

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argentinagp · 5 months

Text

2023: a summary (tagged by @cotagrandprix thank u!!!)

post your favorite and/or most popular creation from each month this year. (it’s okay to skip months!)

march

fav: charles eyes art i made popular: charles art i made

april

fav: tamagotchi lewis popular: seb bacx gifset

may

fav and popular: charles always and angel never a god

june

fav: lewis graphic & sebchal ivy popular: chalex being pathetic at goggle game gifset

july

fav: sauber!charles gifset, f1 album figurine! & chalex + we're in love popular: 2019 rookies bullying each other gifset

august

fav: charles how to be on pole, chalex lover hunter friend enemy, twitch quartet horror game & valtteri bday post popular: charles naming seb when it wasnt even part of the options

september

fav: alex in thailand graphic/gifset aka my pinned, sebzuka graphic & suzuka weekend gifset popular: seb race without trace hoodie live

october

fav: galex cannibalism & lewis gifset w after effects popular: mick/michael cowboys

november

fav: alex graphic i guess im good enough, charles las vegas pole graphic, lewis + purple glow helmet, yuki + turquoise graphic, gewis + top gun, twitch quartet + los simuladores, alex + space odissey popular: the alexalbonification of logan sargeant

december

fav: niki lauda + pink, seb + golden boy, alex + long story short, russtappen for checo, nigel + gold, nico r + gold, kimi + purple, pipit lesbians!chalex poster popular: oscar + the finger prediction gifset

#lourdes.txt #this was so fun #if someone goes through the links im sorry they are a lot

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disaster-vampire · 1 year

Note

pls talk about the shelf

i was desperately hoping someone would ask me to rant abt it akehdjshd i'm kissing you sweetly on the forehead anon

okay so if anyone sees this out of context: i have a shelf in my bookcase dedicated to hannibal. yes it's kind of like a weird little shrine but leave me alone.

be warned this is going get LONG.

so, it has the obvious: the hannibal books, the tv show box set, the tv show's cookbook, my fancy copies of the divine comedy (they're hardcover with gorgeous sleeves that have art printed on them to match each book), and i also have the iliad and the odissey in there in a single big book that i bought on a whim when out once and then after buying it i found out it also had the original greek alongside the italian translation and i lost my mind. i've never felt such pure joy and i can't even read greek. yet.

as for decorations, as of right now there's a piece of driftwood that is kinda shaped like an L so it stands up on its own and it also kinda resembles an antler.

there's this fuckin box, i don't even remember how i got it, but it's made of bones. it's shaped kinda like a stereotypical treasure chest but it's literally made of bones. the inside is lined with red velvet.

i'm not sure what else to decorate with? i've put in a seashell but it can't even be seen because the shelf has glass doors but the shell is covered by the frame (might move everything to another shelf where the frame is not in the way tbh just so i can decorate with tiny things at the front).

i just moved this whole thing from my other bookcase (i just got this new one today because i have too many books and in my first bookcase the shelves are literally bending with the weight of the books piled up on them) and when it was there i also had a teacup in there along with a lighbox that says "bone saw time! 🖤" but this new shelf feels very elegant and there's also not enough space for the lightbox. i also had a bust of dionysus there but i'm going to move it to my dionysus altar.

i've got an old scalpel somewhere too and i'll try to find a visible spot to put it. i also have 3 tiny japanese plates that were all given to me as gifts and some souvenirs from japan from a friend too but idk if i wanna put japanese stuff in there. like it's fitting but at the same time idk if it's disrespectful or not.

if i had money and more space i'd make this whole thing bigger and get like. a little frame with fly fishing lures like the ones will made in the show and maybe something like some ethically sourced taxidermy. a snake skeleton and a mongoose skull would be really cool. maybe i could print out a little something with lures instead of buying real ones and like. a fake death's head hawkmoth taxidermy. i'd need some of those shadowbox frames and i'd make it so the pictures stand out a bit from the back so it looks like they have shadows. bc like i'm fairly certain real death's head hawkmoths cannot be ethically sourced at this point in time because ever since silence of the lambs came out people have started going insane over them.

i think my grandpa has this framed thing somewhere with sailing knots made with actual ropes in it rather than just pictures. haven't seen it in ages so i'm not sure anymore if it was my grandpa's or someone else's. probably my grandpa since he was in the marines when military service was mandatory in italy but idk maybe i saw it somewhere else. i could print out a small picture with various illustrations of sailing knots.

i also have these cards that my aunt gave me at one point that have prints of a lot of famous paintings with descriptions in the back and i THINK one was the primavera. it was either that or the birth of venus i'll have to check but either way there's at least one botticelli in there. i don't like botticelli much tho so 🤷

i plan at some point to also get physical copies of all the movies but idk when that'll be since i've found a different box set for the tv show with gorgeous covers that i plan to buy as well. also of the ones i currently own i think one of the dvds stopped working bc it got scratched while inside my pc because i was pausing and rewinding/forwarding too much. we'll see i guess.

now for the rest of the books. i have a medical book in there called the abc of the human body. i think the title is kind of hilarious for a hannibal shelf. i just found out today while moving books back and forth from one bookshelf to the other that i actually have two copies of this book and one of them was owned by a doctor that died i think like 15 to 20 years ago. i have a few other medical books that said doctor also owned on the shelf above. he also owned the scalpel i mentioned before.

there's the book skulls by simon winchester, which is a collection of pictures of skulls from one of the biggest skull collections in the world, along with a few inserts on biology if i remember correctly? i originally bought it for art references and i LOVE the cover so i made sure it was facing forward in the shelf.

there's the resurrectionist, which is a sci-fi/fantasy book kind of in a frankenstein-esque vein where the main character is this made up doctor who manages to make some mythological creatures through surgery & digging up dead bodies and i won't spoil it any further. the second half of the book is a whole bunch of medical/biology style illustrations of said creatures, their skeletons, their muscles, how certain parts of their bodies would function (for example i believe it goes into explaining the lungs for both mermaids and harpies). i don't think it quite fits thematically with hannibal but i think it's got The Vibe so i put it in there.

there's a book on saint lucy, who is the patron saint of sight. i have it because i was born with my skull being asymmetrical and the doctors immediately told my family it would likely cause problems with my eyes, and so instead of, you know, starting to take me to eye doctors from a young age, they swore me to saint lucy and left it at that. i'm likely going to go blind on my left eye at some point in my life btw lmao thanks st lucy <3 i do like her though. i like her iconography a lot, she's always portrayed as holding a plate with her eyes on it.

there's damien by hermann hesse, which is one of my all time favourite books. it's written in first person and it starts with emil sinclair's childhood, explaining that he sees the world in a very black and white way, and does so very literally because he speaks of the world of light and the world of darkness, which are kind of meant as good and evil. but then something happens to him that starts blurring the clear line he thought was between the two, which sends him into a moral panic until he meets max demian, who starts to make him see that there's more to both sides. the story as he grows up follows his "corruption" into someone who is neither good nor evil. it has a lot of implied homoeroticism, as it was written i think either in the 20s or the late 1800s so it couldn't be explicit but it is very much there and is expressed mostly through demian's mother. there's also a weird cult thing going on and the ending is a bit ??? and honestly i need to read it again because for such a short book SO much happens that i'm having a hard time summarising it accurately.

the only other books i remember being there rn (it's 1am i'm not turning the lights on again) are dracula, because cannibal/vampire count with a big castle, the butchering art, and les fleurs du mal, plus two other books written in french that i haven’t read yet because my french isn't the best, whose titles i don't remember rn, and one in italian that i've found at a used books stall once but i believe it's from a local author and i've never seen it in a bookstore nor online so there's definitely no english translation of it. i still haven't read this one either and i don't even remember what it's about, it might be a poetry book? not quite sure. but yeah these few ones i haven’t read are there like. on trial. if i read them and find them fitting they'll stay otherwise they go to another shelf. i also haven’t read les fleurs du mal nor the butchering art yet, so the same applies to them. i think that's all of them? i plan to put my art history books and regular history books on the shelf above as well next to the medical books to kind of carry the theme over lol.

i would like to maybe someday get some of the books that we've glimpsed from the bookshelves on the show but this is it for now!

anyway. tysm for asking me about it dear anon. you said but a few words yet they meant the world to me <3

#vamp rants #vamp's bookshelf

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