#Yes I Know What I Said Is Heresy

[pastelchatterbox]

I’m scared of my dentist, not god

TLDR: My dentist scares me into brushing my teeth but I would fist fight Jesus just to prove a point. So I hate brushing with a fiery passion, mainly because of the bristles and everything is mint or tastes bad(I hate mint, too spicy). So, usually when I tell the hygienist that I don’t really brush my teeth a lot because I either forget(ADHD), can’t(Depression) or can’t(Sensory), and they give the whole “Do it as much as you can, whenever you can, blah blah blah” talk, and it doesn’t do shit for me, because in the end I’m still autistic and mentally ill. But, a few days ago when I went to get my teeth cleaned, I had a new lady this time, a lovely woman who was so sweet and calming and very kind about my anxiety, an absolute angel who fucking scared me straight. I told her about my sensory issues, and she was like “Oh I have a son with sensory issues, we had to go through so many toothbrushes and toothpastes, if you can’t do bristles, just use a rag, it’ll do the job.”. Other hygienists were just like “Clean your teeth :3″ and this woman was like “Sensory issues? Well shit, other options it is then.”. She was respectful of my boundaries, what I could and couldn’t do, and instead of just telling me to try again, she gave me another option, because she new that I couldn’t just try more. During all of this lovely help, she was scraping the SHIT out of my teeth, getting rid of all the plaque and checking for cavities, yada yada. The problem with this, is the plaque has eaten away at my teeth and made them sensitive, so half the time I was in great discomfort/pain. After it was over, she took a picture of my gums and showed it to me, telling me “That will soon become gingivitis if you don’t take better care of your teeth, and if you use fluoride toothpaste and mouthwash, you can buildup your teeth to get rid of the sensitivity.”  After all of that, I decided “Oh I can’t handle this getting worse, brushing regularly it is”, and today, I used mouthwash. Those of you who use it regularly, can imagine how someone who hates mint and has never used mouthwash before reacted to using it. For those of you who can’t imagine, it was simple- It felt like I poured hot sauce into my mouth and was swishing it around for 30 seconds. The whole time I was doing this, I was in pain and crying. A terrible experience... but, it was that or bad teeth, so I did it. I tell my brother this story, saying that I went through the mouthwash experience because scary sweet dentist, and he(an evangelical) asks me(a wiccan) why god never scared me straight(He was making a pun about me being gay but I was half asleep so I didn’t get it), and so this exchange happened- Me: *dentist story* Brother: I never thought scaring you straight would ever work, how didn’t god scare you straight? Me: I would fight Jesus in a Walmart parking lot for a single skittle. I hate skittles. Brother: ... You know that wouldn’t do anything, right? Me: Oh I would lose instantly, but it’s not about winning. It’s about the audacity. it’s about proving a point.

#Dentist #Nice Dentist Cares About My Sensory Issues #She Also Gave Me Foam Putty After For My Anxiety #I Would Fight Jesus #Yes I Know What I Said Is Heresy #But That Hasn't Stopped Me Before And Wont Stop Me Now

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

#everyone feel free to use these i crave more time travel fics #the sheer power qui gon would have as a fully communicating force ghost before and during the clone wars is astounding #qui gon with baby obi wan is like inconsolable sobs cause he never saw him this small and then his life was so sad and he couldnt even hug #him on tatooine but now look at his boy!!! so small and huggable!!!! #they absolutely weaponise baby obi against others his wet cat eyes are 1000% stronger now #they drop him in dookus lap like look grandpadawan:) #if you hold the grandpadawan maybe your sith behaviour will calm down :/ #anyway them together is like they throw enough bullshit into the air to blind everyone while they speedrun important changes in the back #after naboo is like everyone offering obi wan condolences and obi responding yeah im going to need them the fucker wont stay down #star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #fic ideas #time travel shenanigans #codywan #anakin skywalker #disaster lineage #count dooku

[frostbitebakery]

LOUD.

a Jedi Shadow!Obi-Wan AU

“Each of us, every single clone, is a one-man army. And yes, I am… I’m so proud of them. We protect the Galaxy, we die fighting for the Galaxy and its peoples. We are not made for peace times, Obi-Wan.”

The cynical part of Obi-Wan wants to ask why Cody is so steadfast in his belief when everywhere the clones go they’re confronted with people dismissing them, equating them to the droids they’re fighting.

He understands, though. Jedi are only welcome where people know about the help they can provide. The Order is looked down upon, the Jedi just as easily dismissed, more often than not when it comes to it.

And still. And still. The call to protect people is too strong to ignore. He doesn’t want to ignore the call. He can help so he does.

So yes, he understands Cody and his need to fight.

He watches as Cody self-consciously rubs the back of his neck, fingers not halting over the port, so— so used to its presence, as the silence reigns. Cody doesn’t try to further his explanations. He said his piece and that’s that.

Obi-Wan settles down on the floor in front of the weightlifting bench. And Cody.

He crosses his legs automatically, the armor he has to don if he wants to engage in the battles blessedly absent, here. His fingers find Cody’s other hand in his lap, tapping it lightly, glancing by the embedded screen in the armored boot proclaiming Cody as belonging to the 212th.

Commander Cody got his own Attack Battalion. Mace remains the immediate superior but the brass saw Cody’s merit. No Jedi can easily fill the role as war general and Cody is… too brilliant to not be in charge. He and Mace have been flattening the CIS, the GAR is only too happy to spread out their heavy hitters.

“He’s always giving them a chance to surrender first,” Cody had commented on Mace, pride and admiration shining from his whole body. “How he’s able to walk with balls like that is a mystery to me.”

Obi-Wan had politely choked on nothing.

Once Cody is looking at him, apologies in his eyes for being made for war, of war, Obi-Wan signs a simple question. “How would you know?”

Temper makes the scarred eyebrow rise and Obi-Wan continues, undeterred now that Cody’s attention isn’t on misplaced guilt.

“You know nothing but war. You’ve learnt nothing but war. You’ve,” Obi-Wan pauses to swallow the grief, “experienced nothing but war in your life. How would you know you’re not made for peace times when you haven’t even had the chance to live in them?”

A smile, half there and fleeing, cracks, warm brown eyes watch Obi-Wan’s hands. “In my darkest moments I’m not sure I’ll even see them.”

Obi-Wan is against false promises but hope has never left his life’s side and he’d like to share. “We work together and we end this war. We see as many of you and us on the other side as possible.”

“Sounds like an easy first step,” Cody laughs ruefully, and leans down, captures Obi-Wan’s unmasked face, blurred by the unknown, and holds their foreheads together for a long self-indulgent moment.

Obi-Wan ducks his head, mask and scars in place once more. “Is that something you wish? To see me?”

Cody shakes his head, shoulders tight. “I’m sorry. I went too far.”

No, you didn’t, Obi-Wan wants to tell him, I want you to see me.

Soon. Probably. As soon as Obi-Wan has removed the screws from his heart and their doubting pressure.

“I think I can help you,” Obi-Wan signs, bullheading through the burgeoning silence. “But I need your help for that.”

“What do you need,” Cody asks, all Commander now that he’s got a mission objective.

“I want to know how you can communicate neurally and who has access to that channel.” He’s been looking into it for months, always ending in front of a Kaminoan wall. He’s at his wits end and now, now, with Bail confirming Palpatine is shuffling credits to the CIS and it’s still only heresy where a court is concerned…

Kamino confirmed only authorized personnel has access to the comm links in the clones’ heads. What if those include the CIS?

Cody blinks in surprise. “General Windu has access to that information.”

Does he? Obi-Wan is beginning to doubt that fact. “Humor me.”

Shoulders go wide, straight, loose. “Protocol dictates that, in case of emergency in an engagement situation, a High General is able to deploy orders directly to a CC-class clone via the Force after initiating with the correct identification.”

The clones are password-locked. Obi-Wan tries very, very hard to keep his expression neutral. “I assume every Commander knows the identification?”

Cody starts to smile, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, ready to playfully lecture Obi-Wan about confidentiality. Obi-Wan can see that, can feel the intention of Cody to do so. Before his eyes sharpen like the back-up blade in the boot holster. “Is there a leak?”

“Not that I’m sure of,” Obi-Wan hurries to sign. “Cody, please, what is the initialization sequence?”

Cody watches him, tracks his every move and twitch and stillness with keen eyes. Obi-Wan lets him, not able to keep a lid on the worry he’s feeling, the Force hushed in absolute and anticipation. “Every Commander knows those words. No one else does. A High General can request it of his Commander. That is what General Windu knows. A Commander takes the words to their grave if they have to.” A built-in failsafe, based on the clones’ loyalty to the Republic. “And the Jedi,” Cody adds with a soft smile. “Maybe we have been trained to follow you but you have proven yourself over and over again. The initialization is—“ Cody’s face twists into confusion as the Force starts— starts to shriek in warning. “Is…”

Shards of glass hurtle towards Obi-Wan, high-pitched tone piercing his eardrums, hack into his thoughts—

“Who are you?”

Obi-Wan hurries, pulls a hand up and projects “Cody, wake”.

.

Cody wakes, blinks. Shakes the cloudy remnants of a dream gone wrong off, as stuck on him, burnt into him as some details of it are.

He looks up when he notices the presence by the training salle entry, smiles up at Obi-Wan, feels his eyes go soft, relaxed.

Obi-Wan stares back at him, mask in place which ups the distant, rumbling intensity of his gaze like an incoming storm. “Thank you,” he signs, and Cody can see the tremors in his fingertips. Blue eyes flick up to the surveillance camera in the ceiling, go back to him.

Cody… remembers. Obi-Wan pushing him behind a destroyed tank during battle, one hand covering the helmet camera while the other had signed “need to talk, no eyes” in battle signs.

He looks to the door again but Obi-Wan is suddenly right in front of him, cradling his face so gently Cody can feel tears prick at his eyes, forehead carefully, with no hesitation and too much meaning coming to rest against his.

#loud au #my wips #codywan #commander cody #I love putting him in tank tops

[qqueenofhades]

what gets me is whenever any of these people says not to vote, and you ask them what the alternative is, they usually throw some tantrum about how it shouldn't be their job to fix this country and they're not expected to know (or start calling you a neoliberal or a bootlicker lmao) and i just. i don't get that? not voting, especially in the current climate, is a big deal. i don't think it's unreasonable to ask anyone who advocates for that what the alternative is. i'm not expecting you, online leftist, to magically know how to fix everything. i am expecting something from you if you're gonna tell me not to vote, especially when we both know that helps the gop. like, how dare we ask them to defend this big choice they're telling us to make?

their position boils down to helping trump and the republicans but any time you remind them of that they get upset. what is the alternative? what plan do they have? it would be one thing if there was another option that they'd come up with, but they haven't and don't seem interested in doing so. mutual aid and organizing is only going to take us so far and it'll be a hell of a lot easier to do it with biden in office than trump

The whole "it doesn't matter who's president/in charge of the government because mutual aid and organizing is the only valid way to do community engagement" is the leftist version of the Brexit nutcases who, and I swear I am not making this up, argued that it was fine if the UK left the EU trading sphere/single market/customs union with nothing to replace it, because "Britain is a nation of farmers and can grow food in our back gardens!!!!" Yes, because you're so devoted to your stupid ideology that you think the large-scale collapse of society, a major world power, a western democracy, and everything else will have no effect, and you can just do your little Facebook mutual aid groups and happily shout on Twitter at anyone who disagrees with you. Never mind the fact that this would obviously and immediately harm vulnerable people the most and that nobody, not even the Online Leftists themselves, actually wants to live in the Violent Revolution Total Anarchy World they masturbate to. Maybe this makes me a neoliberal corporate shill, but I'd rather that the world got better, instead of worse. I would actually prefer that myself, my friends, my family, my whole life, the whole country, and the rest of the world wasn't sacrificed on the Great Revolution Altar, but I shouldn't worry. We have mutual aid. At least as long as a) you have never said anything the Online Leftists even slightly disagree with, since they're sure as hell not the kind of people I would trust to have my back in any large-scale societal collapse, and b) I guess they'll all be growing food in their back gardens too, rather than using any of those dirty "government" or "society" things to supply their basic needs. We're saved! No need to worry. Bring on the anarchy.

Aside from the fact that Online Leftists, as I have said before, think that moral action begins and ends with posting the Right Opinions on social media at the correct timeframe and any other action or engagement with a flawed system or basic reality is heresy, they don't like being challenged -- i.e. "if we don't vote, then what do we do?" -- because a) it questions their authority as supreme arbiters of morality, and b) it means that there should actually be an action in place of cutting out something so consequential as voting, which likewise clashes with their "everything will be fixed by Magical Thinking" viewpoint. They don't want to be asked what to do in place of voting, or in anything at all; they want to think their correct thoughts and judge anyone who doesn't, regardless of how logically incoherent these things are or the inevitable outcome of those decisions, because nothing bad is ever their fault, or even the Republicans' fault, or anyone else at all except for the Democrats and/or "the West." I mean, yeah, if they're going around to preach the Don't Vote Because It's Actually Evil gospel, it's the bare fucking minimum to expect that they have something to offer in return besides Ye Olde Bolshevik cosplay fantasies. Since they don't, they get tetchy when you point that out.

Also, while I know it's the social media fashion that everything has to be the worst thing ever and we have plenty of the "Biden is also a genocidal fascist but I guess vote for him or something" utterly-minimum-standard posts going around, I will point out why that rhetoric is a) wrong and b) unhelpful. (Not that I expect it will make a single difference to anyone who has to get their internet cred by yelling about how Biden is a fascist, but still.) No, Biden is not a fascist by any logical definition of the word, you would have to do a lot of work to convince me that he is personally genocidal beyond what is demanded of any post-1948 American president who exists in an extremely complicated international sphere with long-standing alliances (such as, yes, with Israel) and indeed not quite a bit more progressive than literally every one of his predecessors, and it makes those actual words useless. If you claim that "Biden and Trump are both genocidal fascists," you are utterly effacing those categories as any kind of critical or useful distinction. You can't argue for any difference, you can't point out policy essentials or nuances, you can't make the most basic of empirical observances or come to a judgment on whether any part of that statement is true, because language has been deliberately stripped of meaning and used to score Cool Internet Leftist points. How can we explain what fascism or genocide actually are and what to do about them, if it's just what you call everyone as a matter of course whenever they disagree with you? You can't. That's the point.

Once again: I strongly disagree with the idea of just giving Israel/Netanyahu a blank check to keep committing atrocities, but I also need to repeatedly point out that Biden isn't doing that. His initial unconditional support of Israel after October 7 (which at the time was the correct response) has shifted to a much more measured and conditional approach where he has muted the overtly pro-Israel statements and started talking about a two-state solution and the need to protect the lives of civilians and trying to keep a lid on what could become a REALLY bad situation with all kinds of war-hungry powers eager to jump into the Middle East and blow it completely to hell. As I have said in my other posts, Trump will not do this. Trump will do the exact opposite. Which is why Netanyahu, who doesn't like having his hands tied precisely in the way Biden is doing, is trying so hard to get Trump back in. This also extends to the people who think that the West/the U.S. is the source of all evil in the world, but they're somehow the only people that can make actual choices or have real agency. Everyone else is just an American puppet; everyone is being lied to or manipulated by America/the West; nobody ever chose anything of their own free will; America/the West could roll in and put a stop to everything bad if they "really wanted to," but choose not to because etc. etc., Evil. As such, this completely fact-free belief is basically the central starting point for Online Leftism, which as I have also said, is now beyond useless and verging on just as deranged and actively dangerous as the fascists, especially since they are 100% willing to enable far-right fascism however and whenever they can because something something, That Will Show Us.

Anyway. Yes. Whew.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts #israel hamas war #okay i think i'm done talking about this for today #but yes

[see-arcane]

“My poor Utterson,” said he, “you are unfortunate in such a client. I never saw a man so distressed as you were by my will; unless it were that hide-bound pedant, Lanyon, at what he called my scientific heresies. O, I know he’s a good fellow—you needn’t frown—an excellent fellow, and I always mean to see more of him; but a hide-bound pedant for all that; an ignorant, blatant pedant. I was never more disappointed in any man than Lanyon.” “You know I never approved of it,” pursued Utterson, ruthlessly disregarding the fresh topic. “My will? Yes, certainly, I know that,” said the doctor, a trifle sharply. “You have told me so.” “Well, I tell you so again,” continued the lawyer.

Absolutely love this bit. It's just,

Jekyll: -verbally tapdancing around and away from the Hyde Problem (c) however he can-

Utterson: -calmly chokeslamming them back on topic each time-

#Jekyll; sweating: 'I thought we agreed not to discuss this.' #Utterson: 'As your lawyer I advise you to get over it and start fucking talking.' #henry jekyll #gabriel utterson #the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde #jekyll and hyde weekly

[therealvinelle]

You mentioned Love never dies in one of your recent podcast episodes. I would love to hear if you have any more thoughts about that you would like to share here?

Oh little do you know.

@theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin and I first watched Love Never Dies when Andrew Lloyd Webber released musicals for COVID, it was instantly the most incredible thing either of us had ever seen and we watched it again as soon as Muffin came online the next day.

We have since rented it, rewatched it before the 48 hour rent period expired, and I think watched it a fifth time somehow though I don't recall the details for it. It's... very possible we watched it thrice that rent period. One of them was broadcast to the Rank Heresy discord server, so it did have a purpose, we just... also rewatched it...

Love Never Dies is the single funniest, most delightful, most entertaining and glorious musical we have ever seen. Everything about it, from the uncomfortable incest anthem, to TEN YEARS OOOOOOOOLD, to the nonsensical "Devil takes the hindmost!" leitmotif (thought I was having an English fail, but no, Muffin had no idea what that meant either), to the Phantom's great artistic vision being a Coney Island circus extravaganza where girls sing about swimsuits, to said extravaganza hemorrhaging money so Meg has to prostitute herself to keep the lights on, to Christine dying at the end and Ralph says to the child he raised, "Aight son, hope you like phantoms because you'll be living with one from now on. Kk bye", to ALW being so mad the ugly guy he projected on lost the girl that he wrote the whole thing in the first place (um actually Christine loved the Phantom so after the ending scene where she chose Raoul she actually ran back into the opera basement, made love to the Phantom, then ran back again to Ralph. It was a night of passion and the song about it will take ten minutes. Beneath a Moonless Sky, my beloved. Also Raoul is a stupid idiot who spent all his money and Christine regrets everything).

And yes, the above list was only going to be a few lines long but I couln't stop naming beautiful things I loved.

Oh my goodness, another thing I almost forgot (which is sayign something!): the Phantom finds out Christine and Raoul have a child, his immediate response is "Ah, yes, it would be a shame if something... happened... to that child..."

Proceeds to get the child on his own while his parents are distracted, only the child starts playing the piano... my god... the child is ten years old... MY GOD...

This is where we get the incest anthem, the Phantom drops the infanticide plans and starts serenading his son about the beauty underneath, a terrible intense impulse you must follow, and desires we deny ourselves, how his son will accept and embrace it, and... the lyrics are just so bad, alright, and the acting somehow made it worse. Watch at your own peril.

Wild fucking ride.

#also worth a mention: madam giry hating on those savages in paris who hunted down the phantom #MADAM YOU LED THEM TO HIM #DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THIS #anyway she loves the phantom more than meg now so get working meg #phantom of the opera #love never dies #anti love never dies #incest mention

[veny-many]

Anakin: Sasa lele, isn't it?

Ahsoka: No, Master. It's sale sale.

Echo: Sasa lele!

Fives: Sasa lele!

Jesse: Sasa lele?

Kix: No, it's Sa, sa, le, le. You need to focus on spacing.

Rex: Commander, I think we are the only sane ones who can spell sale sale collect.

Ahsoka: I guess...

Boil: Sasa lele?

Waxer: Sasa lele?

Cody: It's Sale sale, troopers...

Gregor: It's Sasa lele!

Cody: No it's not

Numa: Sasa lele!

Cody: No

Boil, Waxer: Sasa lele is collect! Genius girl!!

Cody:

Obi-wan: Let's just keep our secret for their little amusement.

Cody: ...If you say so, General.

Obi-wan: It appears that we made something that only two of us will know. :)

Cody: (brushes) ...If you say so...

Bly: It's... Sasa lele?

Aayla: I think it says...

Aayla: ...Sasa lele?

Bly: You think so?

Aayla: I don't know, but my Master often read them as 'Sasa lele'.

Quinlan: Sasa lele

Fox: It's not Sasa lele you idiot. It's Sale sale.

Quinlan: There's no fun of that.

Fox: Just get out of that trashcan already. I need to throw away this caf and if you don't get out already I will just pour this on you.

Boost: Sasa lele!

Sinker: Sasa lele!

Comet: Sasa lele?

Wolffe: You idiots influencing our young brothers with your stupidity. It's Sale sale!

Comet: It's not a Sasa lele?

Boost: Don't listen to him, he is saying just to mock us.

Sinker: Yes, just trust us puppy. It's more funny!

Wolffe: I will bite your asses by myself!

Plo: Ah, they are playfully chasing each other again. :)

Kit: It's Sasa lele, right?

Monnk: No, there's 50% sale of clothes.

Kit(naked): That's heresy.

Ponds: General, why are you hiding in room?

Mace: Many peoples are keep reading that sign as 'Sasa lele' and it increases my headache. I had to hide from them.

Ponds: Okay, can I join you sir?

Mace: Of course. There's some empty chairs and cushions if you want.

Caleb: Sasa lele?

Depa: No, it's actually 'Sale sale', my Padawan.

Gray: Then why did you said Sasa lele before when we are meeting with General Windu?

Depa: I did that on purpose because I wanted to mess with him.

Adi: Our Commander fallen to depression again.

Oppo: What is it again?

Neyo: They are still saying it... It's not Sasa lele... I'm not wrong...

Stass: Oh, Neyo. I think we need to comm Commander Bacara to comfort him.

Adi: No, it will only make it worse. Because...

Jet: It's Sale sale right?

Bacara: ....Not Sasa lele?

Jet: You really think...

Bacara: ...My apology, troopers. In Concord they often read that as Sasa lele.

Jet: It's Sasa lele for now.

Nova corp: Sasa lele!

Ki-Adi: Sasa lele is also right.

Bacara: ....?

#star wars #the clone wars #what have i done #clone trooper #jedi #my crack

[shadowbends]

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS)

It’s me again, folks. Do you enjoy good fanfic? We’re reaching the end of the line, but I’m here to hook you up! Whether you’re new to the fandom and diving into the ROTTMNT fic scene for the first time, or a veteran looking for content you might have missed, my hope for this project is to point you to something you’ll enjoy!

This rec list is the last of three and focuses on longfic in the fandom, with a word count reaching anywhere over 15,000 words. You’ll find a variety of fic here, from novellas to full-blown novels—some complete, but many still ongoing! Though it may be heresy on the streets of New York, this is the list you want when you’re craving something really thick to sink your teeth into: a sit-down experience exploding with flavor. Don’t have time for that, actually? Then consider checking out my previous rec lists as well!

NEW YORK STYLE, BABY!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (UNDER 5,000 WORDS)

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS)

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS) — You’re here!

If you enjoy any of these fics, make sure to reblog and spread the love! Don’t forget to check out the other works by these authors; many of them have written multiple wonderful stories not featured here that are just as good. Additionally, consider leaving the authors a comment! I’m not always the best at that myself, but fic writers work hard and deserve all the love in the world.

With all of that said, it’s time for the recs. Let’s dig in!

Quick note: On previous lists, I separated the recs by the general time period they took place in. I’m not going to that here, largely because—uh. Well. Nearly all of them are post-movie! This fandom’s sure been active in the last couple of months, huh? Given that, I’ll be sorting them by a broader method, but yes. If you’ve not seen the movie, this is your warning that spoilers abound in the recs below. 

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON COMPLIANT

The Aftermath by Starrcrossrose

57,262 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort

It would’ve been easier to say what he was feeling, but he honestly didn’t know how. He wasn’t sure why, either. He knew his brothers would understand and comfort him and be there if he wanted them to be. Hell, Donnie’s surprise sleepover and everyone showing up for it in the living room had been proof of that.

Yet he still couldn’t do it. He’d tried to talk to Donnie and the pain on his brother’s face had been enough to make him never want to speak about things ever again. He didn’t want them to hurt the way he did; he wanted them to be okay and normal and happy.

You know they aren’t happy. Why do you keep pretending to be fine when the others aren’t either?

Leo squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into his knees as he pulled himself into an even tighter ball. He wanted to go into his shell as much as possible, but at the same time, a searing energy was making his legs feel like he could run or swim for miles. He could just go and go and go until he collapsed.

Maybe… maybe that'll help.

Set a few months after the movie, Leo struggles with the long recovery time needed for his injuries to heal, both physical and mental. Unable to talk about it, he turns to unhealthy coping methods instead. The rest of the family is doing no better from the fallout of the invasion, however, with each of their own stresses mounting the longer things go unaddressed. That is until Chapter 8, when things come to a head...

There are a lot of post-movie recovery fics out there, each one unique. The Aftermath’s hallmark has to be in its slowburn foreshadowing, and excellent character writing. Throughout many chapters, we get a glimpse into the heads of just about every beloved character the series has to offer, including April and Casey Jr. Little clues to what’s going to go wrong are set up early on, but just like the characters, I was blind to how serious of a turn things were about to take until the problem finally reared its head. This fic does a good job of showing how important it is to talk to one another, even if it’s hard.

Aftershocks by Katiemonz, McBethins, octolingkiera, theashemarie, and this_kills_the_man

153,543 words, 12/15 chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Family Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

“Good game,” Leo said to Donnie, smiling at Mikey in the same sly way as before.

“Thank you, Leonardo, but as I’ve said Uno is—”

“But you still lost,” Leo continued. He swept the cards up and began to straighten them for another shuffle.

“Second place is hardly—”

“Honorary title,” Leo cut in again. “Mikey won, so we owe him.”

“Owe him what? I have—”

“Keep your money, Don. In this game we’re dealing in secrets.”

“Secrets.”

“Yeah, specifically what’s up in that brilliant, big head of yours after all that Krang shit. C’mon. You owe him one secret.”

Picking up from the end of the invasion but spanning the weeks after, the day’s been won, but no one came out of the Krang’s attack completely unscathed. There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here—unfortunately, talking about it is the last thing just about anyone in the family wants to do. 

Another recovery fic, Aftershocks is unique for being a story told from five perspectives (the boys and April), as written by five different authors. As the brothers avoid each other, each arc’s events end up having quite the different take depending on whose POV you’re currently following, even in moments where the same scene is being retold. Truly an ensemble fic that focuses on everyone’s trauma, I’ve especially enjoyed that April was included. As the longest fic on this list, Aftershocks is heavy on introspection and exposition, but the characterization always manages to shine through in the details. I especially love the scene I quoted above; “Trauma Uno” is totally a concept I could see the boys coming up with. 

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx

47,202 words, 6/? chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Ensemble

Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Crossover

"I need to find my brothers," Raph mumbles.  "That's if they're even here."

"And then head back to the spirit world."

"It's not the spirit world!"

"Right," Toph grins. "This so-called 'other dimension' without benders."

"There are no benders in my world."

Toph reaches and places a hand on scaled skin.  Huge muscles twitch under her palm and the spirit stops.  "No benders?"

"Yes!"

She nods.  "Like the spirit world."

Raph throws his arms up with a scream and Toph cackles.

For a crossover, this fic requires quite a bit of investment in the second fandom to follow; you’ll want to have seen all of ATLA Season 1, and potentially even Season 2 if you want to keep track of what’s going on, especially for moments when episodes are retold, but with the turtles added in. Additionally, the POV is solely with the ATLA characters. Is this fic worth recommending despite that? Abso-freaking-lutely. This might be one of the most creative crossovers I’ve seen in any fandom, and I’m absolutely hooked.

The plot is deceptively straightforward—the four turtles mysteriously appear in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender, separated and with no idea where the brothers are. Their arrival changes everything, with the people of the world seeing them as powerful spirits and guardians. I won’t spoil who ends up with who beyond what’s shown in the excerpt, but it paves the way for fascinating political intrigue and character development on all sides, our fave turtles included. Donatello’s position is perhaps the most fascinating for what may come of it, but everyone’s new groupings have been an utter delight. The banter feels charming and wholly in-character, and I can’t wait to read more. This is definitely a fic to keep your eye on, if you’ve not found it already.

Brother Dearest by Wardenov

69,666 words, 22/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Donnie-centric)

Genre: Drama, Sci-Fi, Horror

“You came here looking for answers, weakling, because you messed with powers far beyond your understanding.” “I’m not-” She doesn’t let him continue. “Our brother may be dead, but the glory of our kind is that we are never truly defeated, not as long as our mark remains.” And as if to make her point, she raises a tentacle and delicately touches the glass - tendrils spawning from the point of contact, rapidly expanding across the surface like a frenzied contagion before freezing in place and crumbling under the extreme cold. “We cull the weak and assimilate those worthy, we bestow the blessing of Krang upon those who deserve it. You-” she spits, remaining tentacles scrambling to climb the glass where Donnie stood, “-you have stolen our gift.”

He says nothing.

“But,” she continues, sadistic smile returning, “your transgressions have ensured our survival. Our continued conquest. Whether you like it or not.”

Set a few months after the Krang’s invasion, things have seemingly gone back to normal for the Hamato family. Everyone’s doing their best to get by, and back to familiar routines and hobbies. Donnie, though? His newest project throws all of that into new chaos, showing that no matter how well-meaning, there are some things man (and turtle) was never meant to tamper with. 

I’m absolutely feral for this fic, and desperate to impress upon anyone seeing this why they should read it. It might be one of the very best fics the fandom has to offer. Seriously. You want plot and worldbuilding on par with the Season 3 we never got? Exploration of the Hidden City, and the Council of Heads that run it? High stakes, suspense, action, and family drama? Look no further, fam. Brother Dearest has it all, and every character (even Mayhem!) has a big role to play. April’s sleuthing, Mikey further develops his new mystic powers, Leo has some heavy choices to make as leader, and Raph isn’t as home free after the Krang invasion as he thought. Make no mistake, though, the star of this show is Donnie in his unwitting supervillain arc. Will his family be able to save him from himself? Only time and new chapters can tell, but this fic dug its claws into my heart and won’t let go, it’s so good. 

Drift and Chemical Reaction by Bronte

26,949 words, 7/7 chapters (split between two fics)

Character Focus: Donatello & Leonardo, Ensemble

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding

"Piña colada?"

"What the—?" Donnie cuts him off before he can finish, cramming a green and yellow striped straw between his teeth. Leo wears some of it, the yellow, smoothie-like drink dribbling down his plastron. "Wait, where did you—what is this?"

Donnie smirks. "Pineapple, coconut, rum. A taste of the tropics."

Leo blinks and glances down apprehensively at the ‘Better Late than Ugly’ mug in his hand. "...does this have alcohol in it?"

"Does this have—pfft, I would never. Do you know who I am? Donatello, upstanding citizen of Manhattan proper?" Donnie barks a laugh, tossing his head back before leveling him with a look. "Of course there is. As the Bard himself said, self-love, my brother, is not so vile a sin as self-neglect."

As two sides of the same story, these fics are being recommended together! Set after the movie, Drift is told from Leonardo’s POV, both during and after leaving the prison dimension, where Chemical Reaction tells the story from Donatello’s POV. 

The real charm of this fic, though? It has to be the banter. Reading this, I could totally hear the character’s voices in my head, which was only made better once the piña coladas came in. You think the twins are disasters; just wait until they’re drunk. These fics would be worth reccing on their own for that scene alone, but there’s actually a little bit of plot involved as well as Leo struggles to regain his ninpo, while Donnie... Well, something weird is going on with Donnie. Needless to say, both of these are a great read!

Every Night the Longest Day by ashtreelane

33,731 words, 13/? chapters (last updated 10/27/2022)

Character Focus: Leonardo & Family

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Medical Drama

“What’s wrong, Leo?” Raph asks from where he is curled around him, the snapper’s chin nestled on the top of his head.

“Can’t sleep,” Leo mutters. He smells worry, sudden and sharp, and when he opens his eyes Raph has whipped around to look at Donnie, eyes blown wide, looking for an answer. Donnie is looking at him too, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“We- okay. Raph, don't freak out. This is to be expected, remember?” Donnie is saying, his voice just barely on the wrong side of too calm. He’s freaking out too. Why? What’s happening? Oh, he’s being addressed now, he should probably pay attention.

“Leo, you were cursed six days ago to be unable to fall asleep. Your memory is suffering because of it, but we’re all right here, okay?”

Leo kind of knows what they’re talking about. He remembers it, he remembers that it happened, but the… events are… foggy. What- what had they been talking about?

“What are we talking about?”

When Leo is cursed to be unable to sleep, he and the family must wait for a new moon to break the spell through a ritual. Unfortunately, that new moon is nearly two weeks off. As Leo is forced to stay awake for days on end, his mental and physical condition quickly begins to deteriorate. Through it all, Leo’s family stays by his side to help him through it, beautifully balancing hurt with comfort through the beginning. As the story goes on and Leo’s condition worsens, though... Well. Things aren’t looking good, let’s say.  

I have such a soft spot for this fic, though. It’s grown quite popular lately, so many of you reading this list may have already heard it, but there was a point when I was following early on where the author was debating shifting the POV around or sticking with Leo as an unreliable narrator. I was really proud of them for sticking to their guns and going with the latter, and I think it’s paid off in spades. The way the author experiments with formatting styles and missing scenes really makes the fic stand apart from the standard whump setup, and turns it into something akin to low-key psychological horror. If you’re into that sort of thing it’s a lot of fun; even if you’re not, the moments of family bonding peppered throughout the fic are so wholesome, and definitely worth your time.

Fallout by GauntletKnight

50,677 words, 20/? chapters (last updated 11/05/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama

“We are here. We are alive. Raph and Mikey are downstairs. Dad and April and Casey are on the way. You’re alright, Leo. You’re safe. We are all safe. No one is here to hurt you…or us.” There is no special inflection to his voice, but his words are firm, unmoving. Leo shakes for a moment, squeezing Donnie’s hand…and then he blinks, his eyes clear and he tries to take a breath.

Violent coughs wrack his body as he tries to dislodge the blood that had built up from his sobs. Bright red spatters down his front and across Donnie’s hands as he holds onto Leo’s arm. Each breath is like nails on a chalkboard.

Draxum steps in instantly, checking the monitor for vitals. “I’ve gotta get to that punctured lung…or else getting this blood transfusion in him isn’t going to do anything.” He turns to Donnie, holding out plastic gloves, “Can you-”

Leo shakes his head, finally getting a rattling breath into his chest. “N-no…Don’s…not great with this kind of thing. S’ok…he’s so good at everything else he had to leave some for the rest of us.” He smiles up at Donnie like Donnie hung the damn moon and stars, his eyes still shining with painful tears. It’s…a weirdly genuine moment between the two of them…

Donnie doesn’t like it.

Set between the final fight and grabbing a slice in the movie, this fic follows the immediate aftermath of pulling Leo out of the prison dimension with a bit more urgency and attention to everyone’s injuries. 

As I’ve said before, every movie recovery fic I’ve found has their hallmark, and I’d say Fallout’s is its heart and emotion. By focusing on the aftermath of the battle where everyone’s stresses are still running high, there’s a lot going on here, and it makes for some tense, but evocative moments. The story is lightly focused on Leo’s mental state especially, but everyone is going through it and as the POV shifts every chapter, each character gets some focus as they work through their injuries and messy feelings. Fallout is very satisfying read, and one I often come back to over and over.

hamartia by Punable

40,364 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 10/30/2022)

Character Focus: Donatello & Family

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

It felt nothing like how he imagined dying would feel.

Donatello was a man of science, so it would have been foolish of him to have not, over the years, devised theories around what results certain situations would generate, what or who they might take out of commission, and what he would need to do personally in order to gain the best possible outcome. He would sometimes note down how he believed these situations might affect him or his brothers, both physically or mentally - he wasn’t an expert on emotions, far from it, but he could at least logically assume that getting, say, struck by lightning (one of his planned-for possibilities) would leave its own traumatic scar on any man or turtle that happened to experience it, so he’d dragged in April for those certain emotional areas and promptly abandoned her as a research partner when she’d told him he was being obsessive. He was not obsessive, just thorough.

He couldn’t help but feel as though some of that research time may have been wasted, though, as he lay on his side, his newest project slash rework shattered into almost unsalvageable pieces on the floor across from him. (And really, that felt almost like the harshest blow - how was anyone except him supposed to salvage that hunk of junk? Was that all that he was leaving behind?)

He felt it had been time wasted, maybe, because dying didn’t feel at all like the soft, slowing breaths of passing peacefully into sleep, or the fast tight gasping of someone going out from a bullet wound. If anything, it felt like he was breathing too deeply, every breath filling his whole body and stretching out every wound and puncture and fracture, oxygen making his head light (or maybe that was the blood loss). He didn’t feel at peace, and he certainly didn’t feel as scared as he thought he should’ve been, as he had read he should have been.

Mostly, it just felt like an inconvenience.

Donnie almost dies, and that’s just the start of this angsty tale. What follows is an interesting exploration of what Donatello thinks of himself and his role in the team, and his family’s growing concerns when he won’t give himself time to recover. Donnie’s brush with death has lasting consequences, and a large part of the fic is dedicated both to how much they affect him and how long he can hide it from his family (and the audience). Once the truth comes out, though? Oof. 

The newfound disability is handled well, imo, and you really feel for everyone involved. There’s a lot about mental health that the author just does really well in general, actually. The focus on family and everyone’s concerns for their brother is where this fic really shines, though, and there’s a lot of emotion that hits just right. Basically, the hurt is done so well, I’m looking forward to when we get to more comfort.

i go there with you by bobtheacorn

21,649 words, 15/? chapters (last updated 11/04/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Humor

"But seriously," Donnie says seriously, brandishing his tablet screen above Mikey's head and pointing at it, "I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you be Very Honest when I ask you to scale your pain using this -" He cuts his eyes toward Raph, who grins. "Emoji Scale. Which dramatization would you say you find the most relatable at the moment?"

"Okay, so defo… this guy," Leo says. He thinks he manages to lift his finger but that's all the juice he's got. "On the… left."

"That would be the thumbs-up emoji, Leo," Raph says cautiously.

"Awww," Mikey gushes, "Is that one because you love us?"

"Hang on," Leo says around another small huff of maybe-laughter, "You… can't prove anything. But also…" He moves his finger again. "Also this guy on the… on the far r-right. Like, for-real for real."

"Oh, the sad-angry-crying emoji, fantastic," Donnie says with a bit more pep, tossing the tablet and turning to Splinter, who's closest to the monitor, "Papa, would you do Leo a huge favor and smash that morphine button, please? Like, right now, immediately."

Set immediately after the invasion. This fic is a series of interconnected one-shots originally written for Whumptober, but by Chapter 9 breaks into its own thing. The whump remains a focus, but it’s tempered by a good dose of comfort and humor as well, which the author is a master of. 

If you want a recovery fic after the events of the movie that matches the feeling of the show, i go there with you is the fic to start with. The characterization and banter are spot on, as is the emotional whiplash. All of the characters gets some love and introspection in this one too, which is always fun.

Now That’s What I Call A Vacation! by WayWardWatson

56,238 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Splinter & Family

Genre: Family Bonding, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort

Splinter turned his attention back to Big Mama, the flirtatious mood from earlier dissipating. “I am calling in your favor.”

It was like he had slapped her with his rat tail with how she reared back in visible disgust. Her fangs clicked in irritation and she scuttled further down, closer to where Splinter was standing. “Remind me, when have I ever owed you a measly-weasly favor?”

“When you misused demon armor for profit that nearly resulted in the end of human and yokai kind alike?” Splinter evenly said. “Oh, and the time I rubbed your feet, all eight of them, when you were on bedrest.”

“I thought that was an act of love.”

“Kindness.” He corrected because his heart hurt too much when she said love. “I was being kind. Though, if you want,” Again, his voice dipped into a purr, splaying out his arms wide in open invitation. “You could be kind enough to give me and my family a free round trip to Japan? I know you can do it.”

More scuttling as a low hiss escaped her maw. “That is a big, dimbly favor to ask.”

“I thought we were calling those acts of lo- kindness?”

“Why,” She drew the word out as she finally reached the bottom and pressed her broach. Suddenly, a swirl of light engulfed Big Mama and, with a whoosh of mystic energy that smelt like nutmeg, he watched as her stature began to diminish. Just as quickly, the light fractured and then separated into small motes of bioluminescent dust, casting a dim, golden glow around them. Now in human form, Big Mama stepped in close enough to touch. “Do you want to go to Japan?”

Without thinking, Splinter’s eyes trailed down then up and he swallowed. His heart was beginning to pick up, but certainly not from fear. He took a moment to gather himself. “My children need a vacation.”

Splinter takes one look at the S2 finale and the movie and decides that’s it, this family needs a break. Deals are made, mystic disguise brooches are acquired, itineraries are made, and with that, the family (including April!) are off on an exciting vacation to Japan! As with all scenarios involving the Hamato Clan, however, nothing goes so simply.

You’re getting so much bang for your buck picking up this fic. A family trip to Japan is charming in and of itself—and the author has done so much research on the country that some passages feels like taking a tour of your own—but this fic actually has a lot going on for it. How they even get to Japan involves some fun mystic worldbuilding, and the cloaking brooches open the door to interesting commentary on body dysphoria. And of course, things take quite a turn when the fam runs into a figure from Splinter’s past who has questions he struggles to answer. A refreshing story with creative ideas, Now That’s What I Call A Vacation! also has an excellent grasp on all of the characters, in and out of vacation mode. It’s a darling read.

odd man out by cosmocrow

22,676 words, 4/? chapters (last updated 10/29/2022)

Character Focus: Future Leonardo & Leonardo, Future Leonardo & Casey, The Hamato Family

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama

“Master Splinter,” he greets, almost impressed by the fact that his voice isn’t wavering like he feared it would. “I’m sorry for barging in– like. Barging into your timeline? I– I can explain.” He really can’t, but that isn’t the point.

Splinter only raises a hand. “Don’t worry, Casey has brought us up to speed.” He turns to deposit the tray onto a cart, before folding his hands into the sleeve of his robe. Leonardo can feel those yellow eyes look him up and down as he straightens up again. Splinter takes a step closer, craning his short neck to be able to look Leonardo in the face. Melancholy dances on his features, but the rat smiles nonetheless.

“Look at you, you’ve gotten so tall, Leonardo.” The soft usage of his name almost makes Leonardo stumble. He hasn’t heard it from his father’s mouth in a long, long time. A familiar burn starts to prickle within his eyes, so he starts blinking in order to quell the itch, pressing his lips together, so his mouth won’t wobble. He isn’t sure why he’s trying – he knows that Splinter knows.

His father always knew everything.

Splinter steps even closer, lifting a hand from within the confines of his sleeves. Like a magnet, Leonardo bends down, so his dad can cup the side of his face. Gently, the old rat rubs his thumb into his cheek, just below his mask, over his red markings. Splinter’s sad little smile falls, and he tugs down the blue mask over Leonardo’s face.

“But,” he says softly, “you look so tired, my son.”

Several months after the movie’s conclusion, a familiar face from Casey’s averted bad future appears, just as everyone else is startling to settle back in. Predictably, this throws everything into confusion.

Tl;dr, Future Leonardo is sent back into the past and has to adjust back to a world sans apocalypse, and the family takes him in with open arms. Things between him and younger Leo are a lot more tenuous, but there’s a resolution early on that feels very true to their personalities—one less sure of himself, and the other who’s learned his lessons the hard way—that resonated strongly with me and made me fall in love with the story. Add to that some genuinely heartwarming moments with the family bonding, and you’re in for a good, if bittersweet time. 

Recoil by unorthodoxx

63,236 words, 10/10 chapters

Character Focus: Ensemble

Genre: Action, Team Bonding, Angst, Crossover

“Hey guys,” he yells.  “You might want to see this.”

It doesn’t take long for the three of them to spill into his lab.  Leo comes in first and drapes himself across the back of Donnie’s chair.  “What’s up?  You find the secret ingredient to Luenzo’s Pizza yet?”

“No,” Donnie scowls.  “They’re locked down tighter than Fort Knox, but it’ll fall soon.  They always do.  No fellas,” He enlarges the email, “We’ve been invited to a meet-up of sorts.”  

Raph’s hand settles heavily on his shoulder as the larger turtle leans in to read.  “Dear Genius Built…….Talk about…….agree to meet…..love…”

“IRONMAN!!?!?”  Mikey shouts.  “THE Ironman wants to meet us!”

“Wow,” Raph whistles.  “The Avengers.  That’s some top-level hero stuff.”

ROTTMNT crosses over with the MCU! Set in a world where both universes exist in the same setting, this fic takes place after the Krang Invasion, but fairly into the MCU’s history, long before the superheroes have their falling out. So long as you have any familiarity with the first Avengers movie, you’ll be able to follow the story fine, as it’s straightforward: the appearance of the Krang was as abrupt as their defeat, and Tony Stark can’t let sleeping dogs lie. After uncovering the turtles’ involvement, an in-person meeting is arranged to handle the fate of the Krang Key.

Most of this fic is just a fun excuse to let the ROTTMNT characters bounce off the MCU characters, and it’s fun to see who gets along and who doesn’t. That’s the thing I love in particular about this story—the author is true enough to their characterization that not everyone is friends by the end, in a way that makes whole sense. The Avengers are disasters themselves, after all. The plot of handling the key is done exceptionally well too, and there’s a lot of high octane action at the end that’s quite thrilling. If you’re looking for a good time, you’ll fine it in Recoil, and if you enjoyed it, there’s more where that came from! The author has planned out several other stories set later on in the same series, the first of which (where the turtles meet Spiderman) is already out. So keep an eye on that!

this kind of weather by ihaveathingforpink

21,526 words, 2/4 chapters (last updated 09/18/2022)

Character Focus: Leonardo & Michelangelo, Raphael & Donatello, Ensemble

Genre: Action, Hurt/Comfort, Crossover

“Well, if it is business you seek, Krang has a proposition for you. There are two turtles Krang wishes for you to…remove from the board as their tenacity has proven to be as obstructive as it is predictable. For our plans to proceed, it’s too dangerous for either to remain alive.”

Takeshi takes another sip before asking, “Turtles? As in the ninja turtles that reside beneath the city, whom everyone pretends doesn’t exist? The people of New York won’t be pleased if I do anything to harm their heroes.”

“Oh, I want you to do more than simply harm them. First, they need to suffer.”

“Suffering costs extra. I don’t do anything for free.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Yet you said two turtles when, last I checked, there’s four.”

“Ah, yes. They are of little concern to me. Krang only need you to get rid of two, and you must follow Krang's instructions precisely. Otherwise, you will fail. First, you will need to get rid of the little orange one; he may not look like much, but he’s one of the strongest mystic warriors of all time. I suggest you handle this one quickly—he can be quite slippery—but the blue one, Krang implores you to take your time.”

This story has one helluva hook. A surviving Krang puts a hit out on Mikey and Leo, and saying more than that would unfortunately spoil the twist of the first chapter. With just two chapters, though, this story is fascinating and deserves a lot more attention than it’s gotten. It has high stakes, great action, and is an emotional roller coaster that doesn’t let up. It’s also a bit of a crossover, though longstanding fans of the TMNT franchise will recognize these faces right away. That’s right, this is a crossover with Usagi Yojimbo! Besides characters of that series, though, there’s also a lot of familiar faces from previous TMNT series that Rise never got enough time to tackle, like Tiger Claw and Renet. 

You can probably guess from the latter’s name that things are about to get timey-wimey up in here, and you’d be correct. There’s an absolutely killer plot at work here, emphasis on the killer, and whether they want to or not the turtles have to take a divide and conquer approach to it while at one of their lowest points. Seriously, check this one out. 

Under Pressure by ParvumAutmaton

21,560 words, 4/4 chapters

Character Focus: The Boys & April

Genre: Suspense, Angst

“You know April, right?” The voice on the other end of the line asked. “You’re one of her gamer friends?”

Donnie blinked. The voice sounded familiar but that didn’t help him at the unholy hour where way too late morphed into way too early.

“And you are?”

“Her mother. Please, did she spend the night at your place?”

“No, she did not,” Donnie answered, forcing himself upright, his exhaustion evaporating with that question. “I believe she was planning on some extracurricular club activity yesterday afternoon. So we weren’t planning on seeing her.”

“I don’t suppose you know which club?”

“No, I do not.”

“Ok,” The waver Donnie heard in her voice implied that it wasn’t. “You will let me know if April gets in touch?”

“Of course Ms. O’Neil.”

The call ended.

Donnie stared at his phone.

One of the few fics on this list not set after the movie, this story takes place after the S2 finale on a dismal day when April goes missing. Investigating her disappearance leads the boys to a van and a lake, and an exploration on the dangers of cave diving. 

As you can guess from that description, this fic has quite the creative setup that’s both atmospheric and suspenseful. Be sure to heed the tags because it does get dark, but it’s still a great read, and the turtles’ determination to find their sister pulls at the heartstrings. 

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON DIVERGENT

big sister by Darth_Sunny

18,090 words, 6/? chapters (last updated 10/24/2022)

Character Focus: April & Family

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

April O’Neil wasn’t an only child anymore. She had four younger brothers, whom she loved with all her heart, and who she’d burned the world down for if anything were to happen to them. She’d fight every ancient mystic evil the world would throw at her if it meant keeping them safe. And if she couldn’t be there for them at the moment, she’d be there for them in the aftermath. She was their big sister, their oldest and only sister. : was the self-proclaimed protector, but even he needed someone to protect him and to help protect their younger brothers.

So that’s why, when she watched the portal close up, slicing the Technodrome in half, stopping the Kraang for good, knowing that he was trapped back in that prison dimension, April O’Neil felt her heart break into hundreds, thousands, millions of little pieces.

This one’s a fic following April’s perspective on the end of the invasion, from Leo’s sacrifice, to picking up Casey, and reuniting with the boys. It mostly follows canon, but there is a fairly major change revealed partway through that makes it canon divergent from the movie’s ending. It’s unclear if other changes will follow, but just in case it’s being slotted in the canon divergent category all the same. 

That’s not the focus, though. No, this fic is centered squarely on April and her relationship with the rest of the Hamato Clan. I love that it impresses how much April is a part of the family, and that the boys aren’t just her friends but her brothers, and that their pain is her pain. Watching the aftermath of the invasion unfold from her perspective is a fresh and evocative take. 

Like Father Like Son by eternalglitch

132,982 words, 25/? chapters (last updated 11/02/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

“Here, Boss!” Huginn darted back across the room, wings straining, as he carried a very… familiar…

“Uh, wait up, no,” Leo said, eyeing the blue object as Huginn dropped it into Draxum’s waiting hand. “Do you even know where that thing’s been? Have you properly washed it at least?”

Draxum’s roots suddenly shift, dragging Leo upright until he’s forced to stand on his tip-toes to have any sort of purchase. “I happened to have had it offered to me by the mutant that you call Meat Sweats,” Draxum said, admiring the collar (for that’s what it actually was, even if Leo had never called it that when it was just a gift from his brother) in the light. “He was quite helpful once I mentioned what I wanted to use it for.” Draxum started to approach, the collar held aloft.

“So, what,” Leo bit out. “You’re gonna stop me from saying my one-liners? Big whoop.”

“I think you’ll find,” Draxum coolly said. “That this has been modified to do so much more than that.”

This fic needs no introduction. In fact, there’s a high chance some of you heard of LFLS before they even saw Rise; I’ve heard of people who only watched the show just so they could read it! It’s the most popular fic in the fandom for a reason. If that’s scared you off, though, or if you’ve avoided it for other reasons, let me tell you why you should give it a chance. 

The fic takes some of Rise’s best villains and settings, and explores the darker sides of them (do heed the warnings in the tags). Leo goes through the absolute wringer, but the effect his disappearance has on his family plays a central part of the story as well, with all of the brothers getting full blown introspection and character arcs. Donnie’s in particular hurts me. The emotions are high and the plot is juicy, with some of the tightest writing the fandom has to offer, including intelligent plans and dialogue. As far as hurt/comfort goes, this is definitely a slow burn with a lot of angst, but the author has promised a happy ending. Between that and consistent updates (it’s been going strong for two years), what more could you ask for?

Three Days to Live by Werepirechick

93,992 words, 13/13 chapters

Character Focus: April & The Boys

Genre: Cyberpunk, Action, Human AU

The heiress and former target lowers her hands, keeping them placidly by her sides. “K-tech is a vicious, unrelenting company,” she says, glasses gleaming in the room’s light as she lifts her chin in defiance. “The people who run it are the same. They don’t let people get away, and they don’t leave loose ends. You were all on their shit list as much as I am, the second you signed on.”

Leo shifts his stance, tightening his grip on his gun. “So what are you proposing?” he asks coolly.

“Like y’all said. I’m the heiress to the company. In three days I’m going to walk into a courtroom, sign the papers that frees K-tech from the control of my guardian, and walk out the richest, most powerful person in North America.” O’Neil smiles bitterly. “That is, if I can survive the next seventy-two hours. That’s where you come in.”

“You want us to guard you,” Raph states.

Ohhh, this fic is an absolute gem. You can’t say no to a good Human AU in this fandom to start, but to top it off with a cyberpunk twist? Trust me, this is a match made in heaven. The plot kicks off when the boys—hitmen in this universe—are hired to take out April O’Neil, an heiress to one of the world’s largest tech companies. When things take a turn, she makes them a deal: protect her for three days instead, and she’ll make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.

The plot that follows is filled with danger, intrigue, and high octane action. The world is incredibly thought out and immersive, and makes for a great way to work ROTTMNT’s mystic powers into a new genre. The banter, though. If you’ve read any of Werepirechick’s other fics, you’d know that’s their specialty, and it’s no different here in Three Days to Live. While on the run from the powers seeking to destroy her, the boys and April bond and their friendship is perfection. The series also blends in characters from other iterations of the franchise, but it’s not too distracting, and for the most part remains firmly rooted in the Rise style. Do yourself a favor, and give this one a read!

Posted: 11/06/2022

#rottmnt #rottmnt fic #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #fanfic recs #the fics got longer #thus so did my commentary

[palestinegenocide]

At Passover, the Jewish community must break up over genocide

Blind Israel support in AIPAC funding appeal sent to Phil Weiss’s mother’s house. April 2024.

It’s a beautiful day in my town and I am going to go out for a walk with full awareness of my blessings. I don’t live in Gaza where the innocent are murdered day in and day out with U.S. weaponry and Joe Biden’s imprimatur (and that of many running dogs such as Jonathan Capehart and David Brooks on PBS News Hour). I don’t live in Israel, where I would have been indoctrinated in a supremacist ideology from a young age, and made to hate and fear Palestinians and to cheer genocide— and where I would have struggled to ever understand myself as a Jew. No, I live in the most privileged country in the world where there are wonderful freedoms for someone of my class.

Tomorrow is Passover so this is a message to my Jewish community. We must break up over Zionism. We must break up over genocide. Too many innocent people (on all sides) have died for this false and bigoted ideology to go on.

The good news is that some in the Jewish community are at last awaking from sleep over this. We will see more and more allies come forward in the Peter Beinart tradition—Jews who once drank the Koolaid – Beinart used to do events for AIPAC, and supported the Iraq war for Marty Peretz — and who have walked a path of independence.

Many of those Jews will come to have solidarity with the victims and the martyrs and the persecuted: the indigenous Palestinian population, driven from their homes to make way for the alleged liberation of the Jewish people.

“In my view, the Zionist narrative, even in its more liberal forms, cultivates an exclusivity and proprietary ethos that too easily slides into ethnonational chauvinism,” Shaul Magid of Indiana University writes in his new book. “

A simple, truer message to Jews was never spoken– by a former liberal Zionist. I urge my community to open its eyes to the grotesque armored thing that is modern Israel, and denounce its actions if only in order to save ourselves. (Because as the great rabbi said, If you are not for yourself who will be.) And yes it’s true: Palestinians who denounce Israel are pleasing their grandparents and parents; and we are not; but as Scott Roth used to say, that is the lamest fucking excuse for a thoughtful person in America.

Yesterday many progressives voted against more bombs for Israel (among others Bowman, Balint, Bush, Carson, Frost, Jayapal, Khanna, Summer Lee, McGovern, Omar, Pingree, Pocan and Pressley); and in a notable break Jamie Raskin voted against. So let us celebrate the memory of his son Tommy a great Jewish idealist and anti-Zionist who left us three years ago.

Zionism is today a danger to Jews. It is destroying free speech in our country (in the name of the Jews). It is destabilizing the Middle East (in the name of the Jews). Israel is wantonly attacking a foreign consulate in a neighboring country (in the name of the Jews). And so this Jewish identity, promulgated by Zionists, will only hurt Jews.

In the Forward last week, Jodi Rudoren, who has carried the water for Israel for years, wrote that Israel must stop killing Palestinians for the sake of “world Jewry.” And in a further heresy, she said, “antisemitism… is not an explanation for everything.”

She means that people are protesting Israel’s actions, not Jews. I believe she sees what I see, People will turn on our community for its blind support for genocide. Because what keeps Israel going in its violations of international law? The blind backing of the Israel lobby, the organized American Jewish community, never called out by the media for such, but everyone knows. As Obama said in 2015, there is only one country against the Iran deal; and today there is one country that wants the genocide to continue (and compels progressive politicians in the U.S. to violate their creed to ship more weapons).

There is another Jewish story. The brave Jewish students who are demonstrating at Columbia. The IfNotNow protesters at Biden rallies. The Jewish presence in the broad antiwar movement in the United States. They are moved by human rights and opposing the endless slaughter of children and women. They are “not hate-filled and bigoted… fringes,” as David Brooks, a longtime Zionist said of the protests on the PBS News Hour.

The Jewish protesters are today the leaders of our religious community. They are bringing an uncomfortable truth to a huddled, fearful, self-involved congregation. They are the heroes of Jewish history. They will save the world, and maybe too the lost Jewish tabernacle in the deserts of militarism.

Happy holidays,

#israel #free gaza #gazaunderattack #israel is a terrorist state #gaza strip #genocide #gaza #free palestine #jerusalem #palestine #jews #jumblr #passover

[lovemadethemdoit]

Hey there! 😉

For your one-word prompt:

Softie

(That story is so good btw!!!)

Years post-Won't somebody.

Jake scoffs. "I'm not."

Natasha raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow, tilting her head with glee. "You very much are, Seresin. We had you figured out long ago."

"That's basically heresy, Phoenix. We all know I don't have those pesky, squishy feelings."

Natasha laughs. "Tell that to your niece and her big brown eyes. She's got you wrapped around her tiny little fingers."

Jake glares at her. As always, Natasha just holds his gaze until he gives in. He looks down at his glittery pink nails. "Ok, fine. Fine! Maybe I am a softie, Phoenix. Sue me!" He shakes his head, looking around the door jamb at Javy's mini-me who is waiting for him to join her at her tea party, already pouring imaginary liquid into a tiny little tea cup. Her plush tiger is eyeing him with a judgy sneer. He sighs. "She got that from Maria. I am incapable of saying no to a Machado lady."

Phoenix cups his biceps in her hand and squeezes. "I won't tell your secret, Bagman."

Jake meets her eyes. "I know."

Phoenix winks and with a playful shove pushes him over the threshold into Lizzy's bedroom. She laughs as she makes her way downstairs, returning to the party the adults are having downstairs. Jake is not jealous at all. He can stare at his fiancé all day every day if he wants to. Just because Rooster is wearing the black button-down Jake got him for his birthday and looks absolutely delectable doesn't mean he won't give his favorite -and so far only- niece the best tea party hosting experience she's ever had. What little Lizzy Machado wants, she gets. Her uncle will see to that.

"Uncle Jaaaake," Lizzy sighs, patience not a trait she inherited from her dad.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." He plops down on a tiny chair at the tiny table, his knees halfway to his ears. "Now you better have left me some cake, Miss Elizabeth. I'm not sharing with Mr. Tiger again!"

Lizzy giggles. "There's no cake, silly!"

"There's not? I thought this was a proper tea party?" He takes the pink plastic crown Lizzy hands him unasked and puts it on his head.

He watches her pull something out from beneath the table and the next moment she brandishes a silvery sleeve of Oreos at him. "There's these!" she says proudly.

Jake bites down on a laugh and squints down at her. "Did you sneak those from Mommy's sweets reserve again, little lady? You know she gets cravings."

"Nooooo. Uncle Bradley gave them to me."

"Oh, he did. Did he?"

"Uh huh. Now sh!" She shushes him with a finger to her mouth. She can be glad she's cute. "Mr. Tiger wants to tell his story!"

"Oh, alright. What shenanigans has Mr. Tiger gotten into this time?"

"Mr. Tiger and Mr. Bear are engaged!"

"They are?"

"Yes. Mr. Bear proposed and Mr. Tiger said yes."

"That's lovely. They do make a stunning couple."

Lizzy nods enthusiastically. "Mr. Tiger and Mr. Bear say they want to marry on June 17th."

"Is that right."

"Uh huh."

"That happens to be the date Uncle Jake and Uncle Bradley are getting married, too. What a coincidence!"

"I know!"

Jake holds out his little tea cup for her to pour air into.

"Mr. Bear says I can be flower girl at their wedding."

Jake bites down on a grin. "Aw. That's too bad, Liz. Uncle Bradley and I wanted to ask you to be our flower girl." He makes a show of pouting. "Maybe we can ask your brother to take on these important duties?"

Lizzy looks up, eyes wide. "I can be flower girl at both weddings!" she hurries to say.

"Yeah?"

She stands up and comes around the table, nodding her head. Jake receives her into the cuddle she's no doubt aiming for.

"Oh. Phew!" Jake wipes invisible sweat off his forehead. "That's great, Lizzy. You can be flower girl at Mr. Tiger and Mr. Bear's wedding and then at ours."

"I want a pretty dress! Like Mommy!"

"The prettiest dress."

"Pinky promise?" she holds out her little finger and Jake can't refuse a Machado woman's big brown eyes if he tried to, so he hooks his little finger around hers. "Pinky promise."

#hangster #sereshaw #writing #won't somebody verse #JAKE AND HIS NIECE #dream team!! #redfurrycat

[judesmoonbeauty]

Licht Klein’s Act 2 Story Preview Translation

🐺 This is not the PV that Cybird released on 12/1. This is the actual preview of the storyline.

🩵 This a fan t/l only. So please expect errors and this may not be 100% accurate.

🐺 Cybird owns all materials. 

🩵 T/L notes will be at the bottom of the post marked with (**)

🐺 Alt translation marked as ///

For some reason the screenshots of the preview were fuzzy after uploading them, so I decided to add them to the very bottom instead of throughout the t/l. I apologize if they are still fuzzy, I’m not sure what is going on.

Licht POV: When I met you I learned that true love means that light and darkness are side by side. There was once a beast tormented by sin, who wanted to die.

But the beast came to know love and chose to live. 

Emma: You’ve changed a lot since we’ve met. 

Licht: I’m aware of that.

Licht: When I’m with you I go crazy and don’t know myself. So take responsibility.

The love that saved the beast from darkness has brought supreme happiness, and changed his dark world.

Licht POV: Every day, every single day - we love each other and share in our happiness. 

Licht: Yes……

Licht: ……Haa…..(sighs)

Nokto: Why…..You always look like this…..

Nokto:…..I, sometimes I don’t understand.

Nokto: What is “true happiness” for you?

I realized that the more the light overflowed, the darker the shadows became -

Before I knew it, I had chosen not to wake up from my happy dream.

To investigate the reason for the Triple Alliance, Licht and I visited Tanzanite. A country of illusion and divination.

Azel: Nice to meet you, our foreign guests. 

Emma: Ah. 

Azel: Is something the matter? 

Emma: No…I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve met you in a dream once before.

Licht:……….

Azel: With me? I see, you seem to be a devout believer.

Azel: If you’re a believer, I will accept your tribute. It’s even better if it’s food. 

Azel: But why does the guy next to me look like he wants to kill me?

Licht: Are you a messenger from the royal court?

(?!)

Sariel: Prince Licht.

Licht: …..ah. 

Licht: Are you a messenger from the royal court?**

With the living god of this desert country, and a generously hospitable welcome to Tanzanite castle - Everything seemed to be going smoothly.

Licht: ……I hear that silver is the color of the moon.

Azel: Oh, you’re well informed. In Tanzanite, the moon has very special meaning, and the people who hold that silver is also very special.

Azel: It’s said that, Tanzanite is the only country where silver-haired children could be born, even if you search the entire continent……

Azel: Prince Licht, I’d like to ask, if you don’t mind. Is your mother from Tanzanite?

Licht: ….Why do you need to investigate this now?

Azel: I told you, didn’t I? Silver hair is very special color found only in the Tanzanite royal family….

Azel: I must investigate your mother and find her connection to the Tanzanite royal family….

Azel: We cannot tolerate your heresy. 

A Tanzanite taboo that he comes in contact with evokes the sins of the past.///A Tanzanite forbidden object that he comes in contact with evokes the sins of the past.

Licht: My mother died in an accident.

Licht: …….While walking in the castle, she slipped on the stairs and she fell to hear death. 

Sariel: I will arrange it that way. 

Sariel: Externally, no one knows the truth behind your mother’s death. So, this won’t be impossible.**

(You’re not going anywhere, are you?)

(Licht won’t go to the place he’s longed for so many years to punish himself for his sins.)/// (Licht won't go to the place where he will punish himself for his sins, something he has longed for many years.)

Licht: The truth is, I just want to be chained to you.

Licht: When I’m on official duties, I often have no choice but to leave you…..

Licht: I really don’t like it. I want to be with you forever.

Licht: Without you it’s like……

Emma: ….It’s like?

Licht: Nothing. 

Licht: Anyway, I’m fine. 

I love Licht, I love him, I love him, and I don’t want him to leave. 

Contrary to such a wish, the time has come for the illusion of love to peel away.

Emma: What’s …..this…..

Emma: Has Licht been hiding it from me this entire time?

Emma: Why…….why…….

Does the true love that’s sprouted between us really bring us “true happiness”?

Now that I’ve woken up from my dream, I’m faced with a cruel proposition.

Licht: Please…..be happy by my side. Hold my collar for the rest of your life. 

Licht: I’ll love you, love you, love you so much that you’ll never want to leave me.

The maddeningly painful love turns into a crushingly loving love.

Can I love you to the point of madness? I…I can’t live without you. I can’t do it.

______________________________________________ ** Licht: Are you a messenger from the royal court? (This is not an error. It’s very subtle, but after Sariel discreetly corrects Licht by calling his name, Licht fixes his face and asks the question again. Licht is ready to kill Azel over a dream 😆

**Sariel: Externally, no one knows the truth behind your mother’s death. So, this won’t be impossible. (I’m sure most of you understand what he means, but just in case….Sariel is saying that since no one outside of the Rhodolitian court knows how Licht’s mother -Anita- truly died, the lie that Sariel is going to spin should work.)

—————————————————————————

I love a possessive Licht 🩵

My thoughts…..there is gonna be pain. It seems like he and Nokto are related to the Tanzanite royal family, but I wonder how that came about. She could have been a runaway royal, but iirc she was a songstress in a traveling theatre troupe, right? Perhaps they performed in the Tanzanite royal court and noncon things happened? Then she met the boys father and used him as a cover up for their birth? Idk just a theory. Anyways, Azel is way too pretty when he smiles and he seems to love food too. Looking forward to this 😭 I will hold your collar forever!!

#ikemen prince #ikepri #licht klein #ikepri licht #Licht Klein Act 2 #ikepri azel #sariel noir #ikepri sariel #cybird ikemen #cybird #Licht wants me to hold his collar #I love a possessive man #Give him to me

[howlingday]

Would the Imperium of Man execute Ironwood for trying to run from Salem?

I'm not an expert on Warhammer, so I'm not really the best person to ask on matters of the Grimdark universe. However, I will answer this to the best of my knowledge and ability.

I tried to find an answer on Google, but I couldn't find a specific answer to this question, which was "does the imperium punish cowardice?" The most obvious answer to this is "Yes" and that's usually by the blade of bullet of the Commissar, whose entire job in the Imperium is to execute cowards as a deterrent of treason and to instill good order and discipline among the guardsmen they are tasked to guide. Kinda like a drill instructor on the battlefield who will put a bullet in you if they get a whiff of anything less than proper soldier behavior.

However, this scenario is very... unique, and complex in a way that goes beyond simple cowardice. See, General James Ironwood, whatever his intentions may have been, was trying to help Atlas by keeping himself, the city, its people, AND the relic out of Salem's reach. So, yes, while he is essentially running away from the threat of the Grimm, it can also be observed as a tactical withdrawal to prevent even worse casualties, or the fall of Remnant.

Again, I'm not an expert. The better people to ask Warhammer questions would be @the-wayward-arc or @weatherman667 , though I also asked my buddies in the Discord their thoughts on the matter, and they responded with similar answers, saying either Ironwood would have been shot OR wouldn't have due to the tactical reasoning for his retreat. One response was, "If you're throwing Ironwood into the 40K universe, he would have tried to get an Exterminatus on Salem." Take that as you will.

And because I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a laspistol and a lichtor (hint: only one of them MIGHT kill ya), I also asked my buddies IRL, who have been in this nightmare of a universe since they were kids. I described to them this scenario,

"There's this general, and his kingdom is about to be destroyed AND the only thing that could stop the Big Bad from destroying everything. Would he be executed in the 40K universe for cowardice?"

The first guy's response,

"If it's a general, he's never seeing the light of day again. The Inquistors would send a guy to torture him to death, and the Imperium would send their guard to overthrow and replace him. And since he's not only acting in cowardice, but he's also sacrificing ammunition resources to the threat, he might be be turned into a servitor as punishment."

My other buddy said,

"It's hard to say in the setting of the 41st millennium. Funny enough, there's actually a similar scenario in the Siege of Terra where a Captain is ordered to move sky plates to block orbital fire, which saved a bunch of ground forces and civilians, but at the cost of their flying fortress that Dorn needed to protect Terra as a contingency plan. An atrocity of 100% casualties may be considered a success if the objective was achieved. A cleric was given a position in the Inquistors because he made the mistake of not reporting an error, then lying that the mistake was an indication of heresy, which it was. Actions as you see them now could be condemned or praised in the future, but you won't know in the now."

The second buddy then proceeded to drop the biggest lore bomb I've ever heard from the recent finale of the Siege of Terra series. But I won't spoil it here.

Was Ironwood a coward? Would he have been punished? What WH foe is equivalent to the Grimm? I have no idea, BUT what I do know is that I appreciate you coning to me with these fascinating questions.

Until next time,

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

#rwby #james ironwood #my answer #my answers #warhammer 40k #the imperium of man #my thoughts

[suitov]

Fuyuhiko: I'm serious. You can ask Peko. Ask her if the D Club is real and what it was.

Izuru: If you wish.

Fuyuhiko: Doubting the D Club...

Kazuichi: It's heresy, man.

Izuru: I'm back.

Fuyuhiko: And?

Izuru: She said I'm too young to know what it is.

Fuyuhiko: Wait, what.

Izuru: And she said to tell you to stop corrupting the innocent baby hope.

Fuyuhiko: Hey!

Nagito: Yes, that's my job.

Kazuichi: That's not fair! She's making it sound weird!

Izuru: It is strange. I expected her to be the expert on swordplay.

Fuyuhiko: ...

Fuyuhiko: Is... was that a joke just now?

Izuru: No.

Kazuichi: Did he think it was literal swords?!

Izuru: Oh, wooden ones?

Kazuichi: I mean wood was involved yea.

#fuyuhiko kuzuryu #kazuichi soda #izuru kamukura #nagito komaeda #shitpost #kamukoma #peko pekoyama #suggestive

[quietbluejay]

Angel Exterminatus 7

I know I said that the whole situation with Lucius and Eidolon in Galaxy in Flames was BS, but that is because I love their petty rivalry Eidolon, through gritted teeth: Lucius…is really…good…with a sword…

OH THEY ARE LITERALLY DRINKING THE TEARS OF SLAVES I've joked about this before but I didn't think I was actually gonna read it happen onscreen

Vull Bronn is being metaphorically, and, possibly, literally seduced to the dark side

Oh hey I did not expect this reoccuring theme to pop up in this book, or in this context

tfw your buddy shows up in time to stop you from being Magic Roofied, if not regular roofied

Thamatica at it again congrats buddy you killed 30 people

and now back to Vull Bronn who is having the worst hangover ever

hm yes i think grendel very much enjoyed striking a superior officer

at this point I genuinely have to believe McNeill thinks sweat is oily. This is like the THIRD TIME it's been described that way.

This whole repeated element in the Horus Heresy is one of my favourites

Another McNeillism. I think the word you want is "ingratiated" hey HEY don't stare into the warp or the skull in the warp will stare back at you

I continue to enjoy these exchanges

does consort have a warhammer meaning I'm not aware of or is this implying what I think it is.

sidenote but I'm surprised they're allowed to say "damned" given the anti-religion thing. I feel like if Loken had said it he'd worry about someone Having A Talk with him.

oh yeah forgot to mention but, McNeill still has pacing problems they're better! much better! but still present

also man that was dark i really am hoping Cassander gets to die soon (sidenote: imperial fists 🤝 death guard) i looked up spoilers and he gets to go out like a boss, so, looking forwards to that it's funny but i am continually surprised by how not-grimdark the warhammer books are well okay except for servitors etc being everywhere but that does not get dwelled on, usually it really feels like the writers don't want to write that kind of horror or in some cases, horror at all which i mean, fair, I don't there's a lot of stuff I like reading that I absolutely do not want to write it's just very different tonally from the impression i got before I started im not complaining! tbh if it had been what i thought I wouldn't have stuck around

me: it's not very grimdark me right now: currently reading about the poor dudes fabius experimented on being turned loose to kill Iron Hands and being unable to stop and also this:

this is just gross though, i wouldn't call it grimdark, it's body horror but not grimdark

Perturabo is wargaming here and the Emperor's Children are playing d&d

fabius: sometimes people come up to me when im laughing and ask "what's so funny" fabius: and i say to them fabius: how dare you speak to me

oh, ugh, Fabius is one of those people he'd make a great X-Men villain

lmaoooo suffer

... huh He actually does possess a normal person's understanding of honour that makes it all the worse when he ignores it, full knowledge makes you more culpable not less~

Kroeger walked over the invisible line

EYYYY

okay so HOW did Lucius survive ship explosion

ah. Of course this is how all the named characters get out of it. it just feels cheap

Stopping here because I had a LOT to say about the next bit so it deserves its own separate post.

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer #i'm so sorry everyone this is so long #if it feels like i'm spamming let me know and i'll make the posts longer slash try and cut out more

[shazzaofdoom]

I am having Magnus Thoughts (tm) and I will once again make it everyone’s problem. (Spoilers ahead, mostly for Master of Prospero and Morningstar, but also just in general.)

The thing is, it makes me feral how Magnus the Red: Master of Prospero is basically an elaborate set-up for a Trolley Problem.

So, the trolley problem! I’m not going to explain it all here, but broadly it’s a thought experiment that asks: Is it better to take action to save many lives, even if your action makes you directly responsible for the death of a few? Or should you avoid actively causing death, even if through your inaction you allow the deaths of many? There are a few different versions with fun little twists, and it’s meant to make you reflect on the nature of moral reasoning. (Wikipedia it if you need more information.)

The Trolley Problem is not a comfortable choice. Sometimes there’s no clean distinction between good and bad: they come parcelled together, and you have to live with a stain on your conscience either way. On Morningstar, Magnus has to reckon with this discomfiting truth, and it is crucial to what he does after Master of Prospero, and so in turn how that feeds into his choices later in the Heresy. It also highlights aspects of his character that are often flattened together under the label of ‘arrogance’. So I am going to unpack this a bit, because when I woke up this morning my brain said I had to.

Master of Prospero touches on the discomfort Magnus feels about massacring innocent refugees from Morningstar so that they can’t spread across new planets and potentially destroy those as well:

‘There is one last dark deed before us.’ (p193) - Magnus knows it is not a noble act: though it is in the name of saving countless lives, it is not the act of a saviour.

‘I am sure,’ said Magnus. ‘Throne, I wish I was not.’ (p196) - Yes, he’s confident that this must be done, but he’s not comfortable with it: the lesser of the two evils is still evil. But it is still lesser as well, and a non-decision is also a decision.

‘I still hear the dead of Morningstar screaming’ (p199) - Bro :(

And the depth of his discomfort becomes starkly apparent in the audio drama Morningstar when it is revealed that Magnus has psychically altered the memories of his entire legion so they don’t remember being party to the Morningstar massacre. That’s, like, so incredibly messed up. But also incredibly interesting, because it shows the extent to which Magnus really can’t cope with the decision he made to turn around and kill thousands upon thousands of helpless people who were counting on him (among others) to save them. (I mean, fair. That's a big yikes.)

He says a couple of interesting things in this regard:

“I sought to spare all my sons the awful burden of that terrible necessity. But not a day goes by when I do not regret what we had to do to the people of that world” (14:18)

“For what father does not desire to spare his sons pain? I never told you because I knew how you would look upon me forever after, knowing what I had done” (14:47). 

First off, it’s pretty obvious that Magnus never really came to terms with the decision he made on Morningstar. He feels continued regret, and he’s really not proud of it. But on top of this, he didn't want to burden his legion with the ‘terrible necessity’ they were party to. So, his solution is to erase the memory of Morningstar from their minds (/facepalm). In doing so he can feel some relief: he suffers his own guilt for Morningstar, but not the guilt of burdening his legion with his decision - he is the only one who carries the weight of responsibility.

(Also, I will just point out though that it seems like Magnus has a general tendency to treat his legion like ducklings rather than, y’know, genetically engineered supersoldiers. I’m thinking specifically of p72 of Master of Prospero, where Magnus and the lads are trying to find survivors from a massive earthquake: “The Thousand Sons formed up on their primarch and Magnus did his best to shield them from the psychic horror and grief of the city’s people”. ) 

Anyway. This all illustrates what I think is a core dynamic of Magnus’ character. Of course, we have the old familiar flaw, trotted out for every character analysis: ~* arrogance *~ clapclapclap good job everyone we have summarised the large red man in one word, let’s all go home. Except this only goes halfway, and is missing the extent to which empathy or fellow-feeling or concern for others… something of that sort is often a significant motivator for Magnus. 

And before anyone accuses me of being a soppy apologist, I think this is important because it can be found at the root of a lot of his problems that he brings on himself (smh ilu, you disaster). It’s not a redeeming quality, because he tends to do a bad job of it. It’s the ol’ tragic flaw: too much of a good thing (caring) can be bad (whoops, accidentally sold my soul to Tzeentch). 

Oughhhh, ok, the Tzeentch thing is a pretty good illustration of this dangerous combination, even if it’s purposefully a bit vague in canon. It’s often pointed at as an illustration of arrogance, and fair enough: the big man thought he could outfox some kind of eldritch deity. The peak of hubris, sure. No arguments here. But, like. Remember why he did it. Remember that he wasn’t selling his eye/soul/whatever for ultimate power. It wasn’t for personal gain. He wanted the lads to stop exploding into tentacle monsters. That’s the Magnus contradiction right there: arrogant enough to think he can get away with saving people, and cares enough to massively overreach in his decision-making. (God, he’s so interesting, I want to crumple him into a ball and scream.)

His caring and his ego are two sides of the same disaster coin. Narratively, ‘care’ is often depicted as a weakness that can be exploited - not just in Warhammer, but in a lot of stories. What you care about is where you are vulnerable. Magnus is no exception - his desperation to save his legion made him vulnerable to temptation. But, it’s important to remember that the act of caring and power are also intimately linked: being cared for often correlates with vulnerability, and by implication it is likely that whoever has the power to care for you has power over you. (This is where we get problems with paternalism - and what is the Horus Heresy if not a series of dad-based problems?) In the end, it was the decision-making power that Magnus asserted over the fate of his legion that kind of, y’know. It didn’t go well. Arguably.

So, I do think that first and foremost, Magnus’ central problem is that he believes his own hype. Whoaa, the most psychic guy Prospero has ever seen!! Whoaaa, a Son of the Emperor!1! But flattening that out to simple ‘arrogance’ misses a crucial facet of this: yeah, he thinks he knows better than everyone else, but also he has read his Spiderman comics. He knows what comes with great power. Importantly, he also feels the weight of that great responsibility in an acutely personal manner. Not just as a leader who occupies a position of power that allows him to get things done, and not just as a representative of the Imperium, but as someone who can directly intervene to save people. 

(And like, as an aside, I know Master of Prospero is set up to kind of be this ‘oh, Magnus is more interested in excavating shit than saving the people’, but like. Damn, having that information sooner might have been useful. Work smarter, not harder. I’m an apologist about this very specific thing. Anyway, I always thought that was a bit weird, cos it does seem like Magnus is generally pretty into saving squishy little mortals, as we are about to see.)

Um, anyway, this is why Perturabo is a great foil to Magnus in this story. While Magnus is out doing his thing, Pert is in the fortress, saddled with doing all the maths and organising needed to get the Lux Ferem off the ground. When it goes wrong he stands there and goes ‘Well, fuck. Can’t do shit about that >:(’ (entirely reasonable, tbh, no criticisms here). Meanwhile Magnus has determined that he can do something about it (maybe) and is putting himself (and the lads) directly underneath a crashing starship (smh ilu, you disaster). 

Some important bits about saving the Lux Ferem:

On p132, Phosis T’Kar asks Magnus if they really can save the ship from crashing on the city, and he replies ‘I truly don’t know… But nor can I simply leave the tens of thousands of people aboard the Lux Ferem and in Calaena to their doom.’

Then after saving the Lux Ferem and being unconscious for a day and a half, Magnus says ‘I had to do something… I could not stand by and let so many die’ (p147). (Oh my god, I love narrative irony and I want to tear my face off). 

(He also says something similar on p150 of Fury of Magnus, after saving the civilians in the Observatory: ‘All I knew was that I couldn’t allow them to perish in the fire when I could save them’.)

Importantly, while he was going tearing underneath the belly of this whole-ass falling sky city, he’s thinking to himself on p133:

Had the Emperor ever dared so greatly? Perhaps, but He rarely spoke of the full extent of His reach. Would Magnus be the first of the primarchs to eclipse his father’s deeds?

Magnus tried to dismiss the thought as fleeting arrogance, but a thorn of it remained lodged in his heart. And who would blame him? What son did not aspire to be more than his father?

Which is the crux of his particular fucked up Molotov cocktail: The care says ‘you cannot stand by where you can intervene to prevent suffering’, and the ego says ‘you, and you are alone, are possessed of the unique genius to do this’. 

The thing is, if you genuinely believe you have the personal power to do (almost) anything, then (almost) everything feels like your personal responsibility, and I think Magnus feels that keenly. If he has the power to save the Lux Ferem, then he must. If he has the ability to save his legion from anguish, then he must. If it is within his grasp to project himself across space and head off a whole lot of nastiness, then… ok you get the picture. 

Magnus feels he is standing at the trolley lever, choosing to move it or not: if he chooses inaction when he could have acted, then the outcome is also his responsibility. He moves it when he believes the other track will be better, but the reality is, none of the tracks are really palatable. (And of course, the horrible flipside of this is when the Space Wolves hit Prospero and Magnus actually did try ‘not pulling the lever’.)

In the skies over Morningstar, Magnus the Red made a choice he couldn’t cope with, because not making the choice was even worse. And it’s so interesting.

#magnus the red #i'm sorry this is so long #maybe i should post it on ao3 #shazza stuff #large red disaster nerd #how was your saturday? #i did this

[synthy-sizer]

[HERESY is ONLINE]

Heresy: Hello?

VitalsStation12B: Hi.

Heresy: Oh good, you're ok

Heresy: Do you have the station data?

VitalsStation12B: I opened the application but I've got to be honest

VitalsStation12B: I don't really understand what it all means or what you want to know

Heresy: Ah, right

Heresy: I'm getting ahead of myself

Heresy: If you open the vitals monitor again and double-click on any of the green dots they will show you more detailed information.

Heresy: Click on whichever one you like for now and tell me what the readout says.

You minimize the window and stare at the desktop once again. They said to look at the VITALS MONITOR again, right?

Open vitals monitor>

You click on the vitals monitor again and the page opens, once again displaying an array of dots along several wedges of a circular map. Only a few are GREEN.

Double-click green dot>

You randomly decide on station 151 and double-click it. A chart opens which has a long CHECKLIST on it. Above the checklist is a large signifier reading "OK".

Look at checklist>

There's a long list of items on the checklist. Most are marked with O but some are marked with X.

SAFETY CHECKLIST

Terminal: O

Aircon: O

Lights: O

Ventilation: X

EUTHANASIA INJECTION

Injection: O

Siren: X

Lights: X

WARNING: CODE 108

Some of the items listed are familiar to you. You know what air conditioning, lights and ventilation are. And the terminal sounds like the computer you're using. But it's hard to tell what the rest means. Sure, there's a siren on your wall, and there were lights in the tunnel, but what do they have to do with the euthanasia protocol? And what is code 108? Maybe HERESY has answers.

Talk to Heresy>

VitalsStation12B: What's code 108?

Heresy: Ah, so you managed to open up the details

Heresy: Code 108 is exactly what I'm looking for actually

Heresy: Please check any other green stations for that.

VitalsStation12B: Well that's all well and good but

VitalsStation12B: What does code 108 mean?

Heresy: Don't worry, I'll explain everything in time

Heresy: I just need the data first.

You can't say you aren't irked. But there's no real reason not to follow along. You spend your day searching through stations on the vitals monitor and pestering the stranger for answers. Soon enough you check the clock on the computer and realize how much time has passed. You should probably leave before your parents get suspicious. It would be a good idea to make sure HERESY doesn't think you're dead first, though.

Talk to Heresy>

VitalsStation12B: I've got to go home now

Heresy: Ah, yeah, you probably can't afford to rouse suspicion can you?

VitalsStation12B: How do you know so much about me?

VitalsStation12B: Where are you?Heresy: Hm…

Heresy: I wasn't really sure how to tell you, to be honest.

Heresy: What I'm about to tell you is probably going to be a real shock so…

Heresy: Are you ready to hear it?

You sit silently for a moment. You reflect upon everything that's happened to you over the last month. You found a mysterious door in the dirt that goes against everything about your community. You've lied and stolen in pursuit of the truth. And everything since you found the door the entire world feels wrong, like a facsimile of normalcy. The deeper you dive into the rabbit hole, the more wrong it feels. You're afraid of that, obviously, who wouldn't be? But at the same time you don't feel able to go back to the way things were. You need to learn the truth.

VitalsStation12B: Yes. I'm ready.

Heresy: Ok…

Heresy: I'm on Earth right now, what you call Otherside.

Heresy: Everything they've taught you about Luna is a lie.

Heresy: Humanity came from Earth, not Luna.

Heresy: It's safe here.

Heresy: They lied to you.

Heresy: And I'm going to try and help you fix it.

You're surprised by Heresy's words. You struggle to get a grasp of them. It feels like your head is spinning. Everything was a lie…? You might have spiraled entirely out of control, if not for a deeper part of yourself, a small voice telling you that you knew all along. That they're right. That you needed to hear the truth, to face it head on. Your mind may still be swirling, but you feel in control, for maybe the first time ever. You leave a short farewell and climb up the ladder and close the door. And then you walk home, with a new steadfast resolve. You're going to resolve every mystery before you and fix the mistakes. You know you will. You look back at the door one last time and then walk home.

NEXT

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