#With evan begging mike to stop pushing him away

[and-stir-the-stars]

Got the brainworms.

A Nest Torn Empty, the month Mike is away. There are some flavors of trauma that might interestingly suit that scenario. These are just little brainstorms, don't feel like. Compelled to use them lmao

One might fit the idea of being medicalized, poked and prodded. Psych test after psych test, evaluations and therapy as it was in the eighties, possibly by particularly shitty professionals who try to go the therapy version of "bad cop" and INSIST mike is lying just to see if he breaks?

Another might be someone deciding to enact some kind of revenge on Evan's behalf. This could go any number of ways, but I think it would be interesting if someone who has been in Evan's position before decided to try and create some version of "a taste of his own medicine" for Mike, though obviously without the near death bit bc of plotlines etc.

And then there are less obvious things that kind of get left out. Being torn from your family all of the sudden is traumatic. He doesn't know what's going to happen to him, or to his brother and sister. Whether or not he's in another abusive place, the sheer amount of differences could throw him off. All the rules are different, all the people are different. He probably feels very isolated.

(You're giving me ideas for the au where Mike thinks Evan died after they're split up, lmao)

In terms of reactions, I think there might be more of a shutdown than his earlier behavior. If nothing he's doing yields ANY reaction– good or bad– then why bother? I think a lot of it would just lead him to be very tired by the end of it all.

Final aspect that I think would be interesting: as the kids grow up and actually learn to talk about the shitty upbringing they had, I think Mike's month away might fall to the wayside for a while. Nobody else thinks about it; it doesn't come up.

Eventually, though, it does need to be addressed. Maybe it kind of pales in comparison to the bite itself, but the experience still hurt.

(Or disregard all of this! Just brainstorming dhfjdkdksk)

okay first off I think it's so funny that I have to outsource all my "how would Mike react to xyz trauma" stuff to you,, like how dare you know him so well and have so many tantalizing Mike thoughts /honorary /pos

i think my initial idea was more along the lines of like,, Mike keeps insisting that he didn't mean to hurt Evan, but the more the psychiatrists poke and prod and question him, the less certain Mike is.

All of Mike’s claims that "I didn't know that would happen" and "i didn't mean for him to get hurt" and "i didn't want to kill him" are met with stuff like. "So there's no history of you hurting him?" "So Evan hasn't been put in danger by your actions before?" "So this behavior is a recent thing that came out of nowhere?" And just like. General questions that, whether asked out malice or from people genuinely trying to understand if Mike is a danger to himself or others, only serve to highlight in Mike’s mind that maybe he is inherently evil, because every time he swears that he didn't mean it, he's just met with a reminder of all the times he has in fact hurt Evan and others before and with the reminder that he could do it again at any time.

The idea that there are certain "professionals" there who just insist that Mike is lying about not meaning for the Bite in an effort to get him to cave and break???? Oooooh boy. Angsty, I love it. Maybe as time passes and Mike gets more and more frustrated, his "medical treatment" and "psychiatric professionals" just get worse and worse as a result of his lashing out. It starts out with the psychiatrists just trying to be thorough and get a detailed understanding of what happened, and the mere nature of their questioning frays Mike as he interprets their questions as them not believing him. He tells himself that he's crazy for feeling so attacked by them when they're professionals trained to help people, but like. It doesn't make the problem go away. Mike starts lashing out as he feels like they don't believe him. And his lashing out is ofc seen as signs of hostility, leading to worse and worse "treatment" (in both sense of the term), and leading to him being placed with awful "professionals" who blatantly tell him to his face now that he's lying about not meaning to hurt Evan to get Mike to break.

And the whole experience just, like, shreds every sense of faith Mike had in his own judgment. He doesn't know what to do or think anymore, and it doesn't matter anyway, because no matter WHAT he does or thinks it has the same result of people just. Making him feel cruel and evil, like he'll inevitably hurt someone, like he's a monster and has always been a monster and is trying to manipulate everyone here in the psych facility and everyone he's ever known into thinking he's NOT a monster for his own personal gain.

Worst thing is that in Mike’s eyes, these are strangers who don't even know him or know anything about him, and yet they don't NEED to know him to know that he's evil. Mike coming to the conclusion that theres something so fundamentally broken about him that people can PHYSICALLY SEE IT, he reeks of it, it's the first thing people see when they look at him, the ONLY thing people see. People don't even need to know him to see straight into the evil in his heart. Which is only furthered when he goes back home and all these classmates he never talked to before are calling him a murderer, not to mention Liz's ambivalent reaction to seeing him again.

#Like low key there's an ask sitting in my inbox abt how saffron mike would react to smth #And I've just been staring at it like. No idea my guy. I am not the mike expert here. Lmao #Now I'm thinking about mike begging and praying for william to come get him out of this facility #And will not doing so feeds into Mike’s reluctance to trust will later on #And feeds into mikes frustration that will has been so absent #ie the scene where mike freaks out in ch1 of bcoh and he's like. FATHER should be #The one giving ev his meds so he doesn't try ripping his own head off from the pain so WHERE IS HE?? #Like Will just. Consistently does this #Also mike not knowing what's gonna happen to him or liz or evan... #Do the psychiatrists even tell mike whether or not ev is still alive? #Does mike assume that liz is in a psych facility herself? She didn't cause the bite but SHE has been hurting ev too #Does mike wonder if he's ever getting out of here #And then no one in the fam talking about mike's month away!!! #Ur giving me thoughts for a one shot that takes place several years after the bite #With evan begging mike to stop pushing him away #And mike is just. So traumatized not just from going thru this but from no one talking or caring abt it #(On top of his normal trauma abt not wanting to burden/hurt anyone w his issues and not feeling they're important #And and and plus all the time mike spent trying to reach out to ev after the bite only for ev to be so traumatized that he kept #Rejecting mike) that he can't stop holding people at arms length. #A nest torn empty #my brother my wound #tw medical malpractice #Tw child abuse

[catsthepope]

HEY FNAF FANS I WROTE A THING

This will be included later on, but will be edited. This is an EARLY DRAFT in light of the recent lore drop.

Michael was never meant to be caught in the experiments.

But when Evan begged him to do *one* nice thing for him and stay up so he could sleep, Mike called him a baby and coward. Evan can’t ask now.

Now he’s awake, kneeling by his brothers bed, and swearing not to sleep until Evan wakes up.

Imagine when he’s greeted by those same horrors his brother had described in his nightmares.

“Evan, Evan I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you,” I choked out as I clutched his hand. “I should’ve stopped. When you told me you were having nightmares. That should’ve been the line. You woke up sobbing.”

He was still. It was silent besides the beeping of the heart monitor. *His* heartbeat. All that was left telling me he was alive.

“This is all my fault. We just wanted to scare you. I didn’t want to lose you too,” I let myself fall to the ground, with his hand against my forehead. “I love you dude. You cant die on me. You’re so strong, Evan.”

I hurt you.

The clock chimed in the hall. Midnight.

I heard the hum of the aircon.

“I’ll stay here, like you wanted me to. I’m sorry,” I don’t need sleep, or food. I need to keep him safe.

He won’t be alone.

He won’t die. (and if he does it sure as hell won’t be alone.)

I need him.

Step.

“Dad?” I wiped the tears away from my eyes quickly. I don’t know how he wants me to feel, but the mix of disgust and pride is something I can’t imagine being normal.

Step.

I grabbed the flashlight from Evan’s nightstand as I rushed to the door. It was the right one. I flicked the light on.

What the fuck was *that*?!

The decayed version of what I assume was Fredbear? I think? Scurried away before I could make it out fully. I looked back at Evan as the realization hit me.

His nightmares.

They weren’t nightmares, were they?

You don’t listen, do you?

“I should’ve believed you. But I’m here now, I’ll protect you now,” I sat down at the foot of his bed, listening for any sound in the deafening silence.

I’m the reason he’s going to die.

(Filler)

I heard the clock chime as Evan’s nightlight flicked on and the animatronics dissolved into the darkness. I waited another 30 minutes before wandering out into the hall. I needed a drink. My head was spinning, but I noticed dad’s office door open. I know I shouldn’t open it.

I’ve never been in his office.

I pushed the door open.

Shit.

Evan’s room, but not just his room. This isn’t right, it can’t be. How are there more?! I almost choked on my breath as I turned away. I can’t confront dad, was he doing this to Evan the whole time?! He wouldn’t. He cares about us! He won’t hurt us, he’s our dad. He’s all we have left, right? I should call Henry, or Jere, or someone. Anyone.

…

I can’t.

…

They saw me hurt him.

Even if he lives, he won’t be the same. You know that.

I’ve killed my brother.

…

No.

Is dad going to let my brother die?

I won’t let him die. I won’t be the reason he dies.

I need him.

He’s all I have left.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #text post #fanfic #michael afton #wholesome family stuff #angst #fnaf angst #heavy angst #FNAF 4 experiments #FNAF 4 #nightmare fnaf #fnaf 4 cc #fnaf writing #fnaf evan #fnaf crying child #fnaf fanfic #sorry it’s not great I haven’t edited it all yet and the bite hasn’t happened yet in the fic

[crimsonlyinglilly]

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

Strong body horror here, and some non-con adjacent stuff.

here for something a little different .

Set night four of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator.

Mike won’t die.

 —--

Michael was tired even before he started his shift, he’s still not sure why he can get exhausted or need sleep when his body is mostly dead but he was dealing with it for the most part, living out his nightmares every night certainly wasn’t helping.

Tonight was just a collection of his worst ones all at once. He was blaming the exhaustion for failing to spot and distract them. The first half of the night had gone well until Liz- Scrapbaby had appeared from the vent before he could distract her away.

The hand shoved though his chest was unneeded since the sight of her tended to give him a similar feeling, at least when he came back to himself she was gone and the new hole wasn’t as bad as he had worried.

Still he had been a little too concerned checking it and relieving the guilt of failing her, that he had missed the warning for his other family member.

At least the sight of springtrap at least washed the guilt away in favour of anger but the emotion didn’t give him any more of a chance to fight back.

And coming back again so soon left him unbalanced and cold. The sensation of being wrong within his own body was something he had gotten familiar with since he first woke up stiff and purple, but it got worse when he was repeatedly reminded how wrong life was for him now.

Still he was gone by the time Mike was able to snap his neck into place and pull himself back upright using the chair, placing his white bear mask on the table he was just about to tell himself that it couldn’t get worse with only 10 minutes left to go when he heard the vent to his right creek.

The made to scrabbled to the computer but a voice stopped him.

“TOO La-a-ate” a voice called from the vent, the large once bear crawled from the vent and greeted him “OH! Eg-eggs.” 

Not them. He almost begged to a god that clearly didn't like him, just when he thought his night couldn’t get worse.

“Not so happy familyyyy,” The one they had labelled Moten Freddy chuckled, far too many eyes locked onto him. “Does it h-h-hurt that they d-d-don’t recog-nise you?“

How long had it been waiting-watching? Mike swallowed at the thought of this thing waiting just out of his sight during the night.

Mike’s body took a step back without him thinking as the thing that had once worn his skin, that had stretched out bones and broken flesh, destroyed his eyes and tore his muscles, that had dragged his body around as he rotted,stood before him.

“You l–l-look aw-w-wful.” the bear almost sounded pitying, as it stared at him. For a moment they both stood still watching each other. “Working h-h-hard?”

Then the bear lunged and Mike found himself pinned to a wall, the anitronic’s weight crushing him easily.

‘Please don’t do too much damage’ he thought, the snapped neck was dealt with but he already had to find a clean shirt and stitch up the new hole scrap baby had left in his chest.

“We- mis-ssed you.” it told him, jaws snapping shut very close to his face.

Don’t think about Evan, Don’t think about Evan.

“Don’t you m-m-miss us?”

At first he doesn’t understand when he feels his shirt shift before hearing the buttons pop off, then pure panic overwhelms as he feels wires explore the skin under it, toying with the stitches it finds holding the wound that killed him together.

He can’t stop the whimpers that escape him and he tries to force exhausted body to fight as he feels something push though his stitches, and feels them snap and tear.

Feels something crawl inside him.

Not again, not again, not again.

His shriek turned into a sob as he found himself helpless to stop it.

Wires twisting around his ribs from inside finding the pieces of metal they had left behind last time, crawling up his spine, pushing through the remains of the lung he had left. His world narrowed down to the feeling inside as the world fell away.

“More fu-full than when we l-l-left you. No mat-ter, we’ll hollow you out a-a-gain-n.”

No, no, please no, no, no.

He couldn’t see anything but the form towering over him, a smaller pale blur starring from the desk and the sound of an ad loudly filling the room were lost to him all he felt was terror as more started to slip through the torn stitches filling the hollow within him as the wires started crawling up his throat.

He barely notices the hot feeling trailing down his cheeks as his eyes leaked, his mouth open choking on a silent scream.

Then they were gone, the wires and more pulled back quickly, causing more stitches to break and making his grasp at the sudden absence. He went limp in the bear’s grip suddenly aware it was the only thing keeping him up.

“Welp, mornings near-ly h-h-here, see you to-night b-b-birthday boy.”

He slid down the wall when the animatronic released him. He doesn’t watch it crawl back into the vent, it’s too much effort to move even his head.

After a time he makes no attempt to stand instead he drags his legs to his chest and wraps his arms around them, ignoring the wet he can feel spreading from the torn open wound in his torso, not knowing if it was from him or something the bear left, not wanting to think about it.

“Boss?” Helpy called.

“In a minute.” he croaked, he had to get up, prepare for the day, needed to change his clothes, clean himself, restitch himself.

He just needed a little time.

Mike took a breath he didn’t need, both him and the small bear ignored the way it hitched.

He wanted to rest.

#whumptober2023 #no.26 #Working To Exhaustion #“You look awful.” #fic #fnaf 6 pizza simulator #micheal afton #mike schmidt #fnaf eggs benedict #molten freddy #fnaf helpy #body horror tw #fanfiction

[homerforsure]

Whumptober No. 5

betrayal / misunderstanding / broken nose

(Hockey AU)

***

He’d always thought the night Jay took the picture would be the worst of it.

Buck’s hands were clutching the rails of Jay’s iron headboard, where Jay had wanted them, where Jay had placed them after stripping Buck of his clothes, saying “Don’t let go.” His slow, sexy, predatory smile was the last thing Buck saw before the silky black blindfold was tied in place. Jay was gone after that, climbing off the bed, telling Buck how good he looked and what he thought he might do and Buck had arched into the words until he was begging to be touched.

“Be patient,” Jay had purred, appeasing Buck with a single finger drawn shiveringly down his thigh. Buck could feel that he’d climbed back onto the bed, but Jay was too far away and he wasn’t teasing; he just wasn’t there. Stretching out longer on the mattress, trying to find him, he’d said, “What’s going on up there?”

Then the flash went off, the bright light cutting through the thin fabric of the blindfold. Jay swore, “Shit. Fuck,” and when Buck let go of the bed with one hand (one hand because maybe he misunderstood, maybe it was fine, maybe he’d laugh and put his hand back and they’d-)to push the tie away, he’d seen Jay, crouched above him with his phone in his hand.

If he’d asked, Buck might even have agreed. He liked posing. He liked having his body appreciated. But Jay’s expression was the alarm of being caught red-handed and Buck knew, knew with a sinking feeling of dread and betrayal, that Jay wasn’t just taking a memento to savor later. He was taking a picture of Rangers center Evan Buckley, naked, smirking, and vulnerable, to use exactly the way those kinds of pictures get used.

Buck forced Jay to delete the photo, made him prove that he’d done it, and then had somehow managed to get himself dressed and down to the street to get a ride without throwing up. His face burned the whole drive home and for half of the night.

And that was the worst of it until five years later. In a new city. When Buck was finally playing the way he’d always known he could. When he was finally earning the respect of his team and the hockey world at large. When he started thinking he might stay. That was when the anonymously authored post was retweeted and reblogged and shared and gleefully discussed on all corners of the hockey internet.

MY WILD NIGHT WITH AN NHL ALL STAR

The Good, the Bad, and the Kinky

His agent’s was the first text he saw when he got done with practice: “Do NOT respond yet. Call me first.”

It had taken another couple messages before Buck realized what he wasn’t supposed to respond to and in the meantime, the texts kept rolling in. Half of them from numbers he didn’t even have saved in his contacts.

“Dude, is that shit true?”

“Are you okay?”

“Do you know who it is?”

“You dog 😜”

“You never told me you were into that 👀”

“Ignore it, Buck.”

“We’re all with you.”

“Fuck that guy.”

“Hey if you need something to take your mind off of it💋💋💋”

“Evan, Mike from the Tribune. If you want to set the record straight, please give me a call.”

From the looks on the faces of his teammates as they tried to pretend they weren’t stealing glances at him, they were getting messages of their own. Hen was the first one to start to approach him with a look of concern, but Buck avoided her, grabbing his bag and sneaking out the door without bothering to hit the stationary bike like usual.

“What the hell did you do to piss this guy off?” Geoff said as soon as he answered Buck’s call. “More importantly, what else does he have on you?”

“Nothing!” Buck answered, nearly merging directly into another car as his hands shook on the steering wheel. “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know, Buckley. None of my other clients get up to shit like this. You need to get yourself a publicist. I’m going to get in touch with Grant and make sure they’re not already shopping you.”

His agent hung up and Buck’s phone continued to buzz and chime all the way back to his apartment.

There were cameras outside which there almost never were. Mostly only hockey fans cared about pictures of hockey players and the press was limited to the arena and their official events. Maybe one or two regular guys who Buck knew by name. It was just his luck that he lived in LA where there were almost more cameras than there were disasters to photograph.

“Buck! Do you know who the author is?”

“Have your teammates seen the post?”

“Are you worried about other former partners coming out with similar stories?”

Buck pushed past them, but the questions followed him inside. His phone didn’t stop. His mentions were a nightmare on every platform. He shut Twitter as soon as he opened it and saw his name in the trending topics. The statements put out by the Kings and Buck’s agent condemning the piece and the interest in it were drowned out by outlet after outlet picking up the post and sharing it out wider and wider.

Can you guess this NHL player by his sexcapades? (Hint: It’s exactly who you think)

Hockey players used to be the humble, hard working gentleman of sports. What happened?

Should the Kings trade Evan Buckley? Can they?

Nash should make Buckley sit for embarrassing the team like this.

Aw, man, don’t do that. Sitting’s a little tough for Buckley right now

🤣

And I thought it couldn’t get worse than the time he fucked that mascot in Carolina

{This post may contain explicit content}

😵‍💫

🤮

Excuse you, Gritty has standards

[98 more posts]

Whether from a latent masochistic streak or just because he didn’t want to look away and find that the story had gotten bigger while he was gone, Buck couldn’t stop refreshing the pages. He read Jay’s words over and over again as his stomach roiled. If it had all been lies, Buck wouldn’t have spent the morning pressed into the corner of his couch, hoodie pulled up over his head like armor. If it had all been lies, he could have made a fiery statement, condemning the mystery author and condemning everyone who thought they had a right to consume and critique another person’s sex life.

There were some lies, of course, but it was true enough that Buck’s heart clenched with it. True enough that he could remember how he felt when it was happening, during the three times they’d been together before the photo. Soft and desired and joyful. There was a part of him that was still exposed to Jay, that always would be, this man with the sharp wit and the sharp smile who got Buck bare, begging and biddable all to make him a joke. As he read the smug asides in the unforgiving narrative, he could hear Jay’s voice in his ear.

The sixth time he read it, there was an addition.

Edit: Ha ha wow this really blew up. Doing an AMA at 6 eastern if you’re looking for more dirty details.

And for the first time, Buck felt the burn of tears in his eyes. Furious. Powerless.

The buzz of his phone started making his skin crawl so he shoved it between the couch cushions and tried not to think about it. He sat with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around, rocking just a little as he felt panic creeping in.

What else could Jay possibly have to say? Would he make up more and more audacious lies as long as he had an audience? Would an NHL team want to touch Buck when he was done?

Were there more pictures?

It was the fourth night, the night that Buck caught Jay. Not the first night with the blindfold. What if? Buck shuddered, sinking lower, deeper into the couch, folding himself tighter and smaller, trying to crush the mounting, hopeless fear. He was there for a long time.

When the gentle knock hit his door, Buck jumped and then crouched tighter into his ball. He didn’t answer. There was no one he could face right now.

The knock came again.

Then the door opened.

Buck was up like a shot, nearly falling over the coffee table as he whirled around toward the intruder. Eddie stood in the doorway, holding up one empty hand and pulling his key out of the door with the other.

“Just me.”

“What are you doing here?” Buck asked, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie to hide the fact that he’d been digging his nails into his palms for the last hour.

“Well, you took off. And you weren’t answering your phone.”

Hot shame flushed across Buck’s skin. Eddie knew. Eddie had seen the article and the articles about the article and the tweets about the articles and been shouted at by the cameras outside and Buck wanted to sink into the floor.

“Notice you didn’t take the hint.”

The attitude in Buck’s response didn’t faze Eddie at all, “Do I ever?”

And that almost made Buck feel like smiling, because no, no he didn’t. He said, “No. But there’s always a first time.”

Eddie came a little further into the apartment and Buck felt crowded. Eddie always seemed to take up so much space around him. Maybe it was just that Buck felt his presence most strongly than anyone else’s. Especially when he was like this: arms crossed, focused, not letting Buck wiggle out of a conversation that he didn’t want to have.

This time was no exception. When Buck turned and went back to the couch, compulsively refreshing the comments on Jay’s post again as he went, Eddie followed right after him.

“I came by to make sure you were okay,” he said and Buck flinched again, hating that Eddie knew. Hating that the team knew.

“I’m fine,” he answered, keeping his eyes down and away from Eddie. “Coach is going to rip me a new one tomorrow, but my agent hasn’t called me to tell me I’m being traded so yet so I guess that’s-”

“Who the fuck said you were being traded?” His voice was loud enough that Buck looked up, surprised to see the intensity of anger in Eddie’s face.

“THN. NHL Network did a round table on it too, but they didn’t think anyone would take me. Oh, then Kirk Davis did a radio interview.”

Everyone had picked up those soundbites. Even through the heavily bleeped broadcast, the future hall-of-famer’s opinion on Buck had been crystal clear. At least that wasn’t new information for Buck. Davis had all but refused to shake Buck’s hand when he first joined the Predators and was a big part of why his tenure there had only lasted until the trade deadline.

“Kirk Davis is a fucking asshole. There’s a reason they never made him captain.”

“He’s not the only one who said it.”

“Then he’s not the only fucking asshole out there.” When he didn’t respond, Eddie came around the couch to stand face to face with him, noticing the open comments page as he did. “Christ, have you been reading that shit all day?”

Somehow it made Buck laugh. “It’s the same shit I’ve been reading for 8 years. Since I got drafted. Buckley’s a distraction to his team. Buckley’s an embarrassment to the game of hockey. Buckley cares more about getting laid and partying than he does about winning. It’s guys like Buckley that hurt the NHL.”

His voice pitched up as he recited the familiar accusations, staring somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder because Eddie already knew all this about him. Eddie was the opposite of Buck in every way. He would never make himself the center of attention. He’d never do anything to make his teammates ashamed to play with him. He’d never be so stupid as to go home with a guy like Jay.

“Buckley’s finally getting what he deserves.” Buck whispered.

“Look at me,” Eddie said. When Buck couldn’t, Eddie reached out, setting a light hand on his shoulder that got tighter when Buck tried to shrug out of the hold. “Hey. Look at me.”

He moved his head into the space where Buck was staring into the middle distance and waited. Until Buck couldn’t help but flick his gaze to meet Eddie’s. Once he did, he found a furious compassion that startled him.

“You don’t deserve this, Buck. You did nothing to deserve this. It is not your fault. Nobody in our room thinks it is. Bobby doesn’t think it is.”

Buck shuddered under the weight of the words. He wanted to pull himself free and he wanted to step in closer, “My agent told me I should own it. Post a couple thirst traps and a middle finger on instagram and just wave it off like another classic Evan Buckley weekend.”

There was a time when he would have. Times when he had. But this wasn’t a ridiculous paparazzi photo outside a bar, it was… It was private. It hurt.

As if reading his mind, Eddie said, “That’s not what this is. Fire him if he wants to make you pretend this is okay.”

“I just keep thinking if I was anyone else. If I was someone good, they’d all go after him and not me. I didn’t even do anything to him, Eddie. I didn’t-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Eddie tugged him forward and his arms were tight around his back. Buck should have tried to fight it, but he couldn’t help but fall against his chest and cling on. “You are someone good,” Eddie said, making Buck’s breath hitch. “And if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter. It’s wrong. They’re wrong.”

“I shouldn’t have trusted him,” Buck confessed into the soft fabric of Eddie’s shirt. “I was so stupid back then. I just wanted- I wanted him to like me. And I’m still- It still hurts that he didn’t. How fucked up is that? He did this. And I still just wish he liked me.”

One of Eddie’s hands moved up to cradle the back of Buck’s head. They were swaying, just a little, Eddie rocking them gently. “I know,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

He managed to keep from crying, but Buck couldn’t stop his breath from coming out in soft, stuttering gasps. Couldn’t keep his fingers from digging into Eddie’s back. If he thought about it, he could imagine this post too (Evan Buckley cried like a baby on my shoulder AMA), but Eddie would never do that. The warm heat of him against Buck’s chest was like a blanket hiding him from the world. It was the most vulnerable he’d been all day and the most sheltered.

Eddie didn’t let go until Buck pulled back and even then he didn’t go far, “Have you eaten since practice?”

“I didn’t think I’d be able to without throwing up,” Buck said honestly.

“Do you want to order something from-”

The timer on Buck’s laptop shrieked and they both jumped. Eddie recovered quickly, but Buck’s heart leapt into his throat. He’d almost forgotten. How could he have forgotten? Pulling away from Eddie, he turned off the timer and refreshed the post, looking for the link he knew would be there.

“Come on, Buck, really?”

Eddie reached out to slam the laptop closed, but Buck shoved his hand in the way. “I have to, Eddie. He’s doing an AMA. I have to-”

“I’m not going to let you torture yourself reading what a bunch of sick assholes have to say, Buck. No way.”

“I have to.”

“No, you-”

“Yes, I do!” He shouted it, standing up to look Eddie in the eye. “I have to read it. I have to see it now because if- if- if I wait and it gets reposted- I have to know if he has- I have to-”

“Buck,” Eddie said, putting his hands on Buck’s arms, trying to rub calmness back into him even as Buck’s heart-rate accelerated. “What does he have? What could be worse than what he already-”

“Pictures,” Buck yelled. “I have to know if he has pictures.”

A dark, dark look came over Eddie’s face and he stopped rubbing Buck’s arms to squeeze instead. “You think he has pictures?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Buck whimpered. He saw himself as if from above, stretched out long and lewd against Jay’s sheets. He imagined ten thousand other people seeing it. “He took- I caught him taking one. Once. But I don't know if it was the only one. I don’t- I can’t let them get out. If he has them, I have to know. I have to report the post. I have to-”

“No,” Eddie said.

“Yes, Eddie. I have-”

“I hear you. Okay? I hear you, but I’m not letting you do that. I’m not letting you put any more of that garbage in your head.”

“Eddie.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll report every goddamn post.” Lifting one hand, Eddie stroked a thumb softly along Buck’s hairline. “Let me do it. Let me protect you.”

Buck swallowed hard, fear and relief and longing fighting for control of the tears that were building up again. He didn’t want Eddie to see any of that. He didn’t want Jay’s words in Eddie’s head. But Buck really really didn’t want them in his own. He wanted someone to protect him. “Thank you,” he said, falling forward again to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” Eddie replied, rubbing his hands firmly up Buck’s back.

Eddie wouldn’t let Buck sit on the couch while he monitored the thread. He fished Buck’s phone out of the couch and made him answer the important messages. From Maddie. From Bobby. From Hen and Chimney. Then he’d told him to order food from the Lebanese place they always ordered from when Eddie came over, asking for extra of the pickled turnips. All the while, Eddie’s fingers slammed onto the keyboard, that sound the only reaction he gave to any of the posts.

It should have been unbearable, letting Eddie comb through the messages. Even without seeing them, Buck knew what they were like. He blocked people every week for the same kind of thing. But Eddie had a defense against them that Buck never had: he didn’t believe they were true. Not even a little bit. He didn’t believe there was a chance that Buck was getting what he deserved for being a show off, for never being a points leader, for being open and soft hearted, for being himself. Eddie believed Buck deserved to be protected and he was ruthless about it.

“No pictures,” he said, a while later, when Jay had finally stopped replying to every comment on the page. “And the rest of it is… well. It’s nothing new.”

“Really?”

“Really. I think it’s done.”

Eddie closed the laptop as if by making that gesture of finality, he could make the words true. Buck, allowed back on his own couch, let himself believe it too. Let himself lean into the safety of Eddie’s arm over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh of relief as they caught the Canucks game.

The next morning, Jay’s story was hardly anywhere to be seen. It was replaced. By an essay in The Players’ Tribune. It excoriated Jay. It called out Kirk Davis by name and hundreds of online posters by their bad intentions. It praised Buck’s grace, tenacity, and backhand shot and it demanded respect and compassion and privacy from anyone who called themselves a hockey fan. And it wasn’t anonymous.

#whumptober2021 #no. 5 #betrayal #fic #911 #hanging out at the angst end of the spectrum #911fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hockey au #allison can’t write a short fic to save her life #minimal edits #messy ending #questionable formatting #230 am #😴

[thestarkerisobvious]

Sixteen -- The DeSlaughter House -- 1

Sixteen -- The DeSlaughter House

1.  I Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

“I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t do anything wrong.  I didn’t tell him to do anything wrong.  I didn’t tell him to do anything…”  Peter chanted it to himself like a prayer as he walked as fast as his legs would go, ignoring the burn in his calves, ignoring the stitch in his side.  Soon the pain in his lungs was going to become a problem, but mostly he ignored that too. 

He was good at ignoring things he didn’t want to know.

The gravel road seemed longer than it ever had before.  He ran until he simply couldn’t run anymore.  Then he walked.  And as he walked, he prayed.

Sweat stung his eyes and he cursed himself for the hundredth time.  If he had just let Uncle Ben drive him to Mike’s house, he would be there by now.  It was a 45-minute walk, normally.  He was hoping the adrenaline caused by sheer panic would make him run faster.  That was what happened to the Incredible Hulk, the science magazines said.  A mutation exacerbated by the onslaught of adrenaline.  Peter couldn’t possibly have more adrenaline than he had right already, but it wasn’t making him incredible.  He needed to be incredible now.

But he couldn’t have asked Uncle Ben for a ride, he explained to himself the for the hundredth time.  How would he explain?  Explain that with three dead animals laying in the front yard in the most important thing he could do was check on his next-door neighbor?

All because of a whispered conversation he had a few nights before, while lying in the arms of his demon… friend?

“There’s got to be a price to pay.  There’s always a price to pay.  Everything has a price…” Peter moaned to himself as he pushed himself to move forward.  He was longing to stop but if he stopped he might collapse.  “Even if it isn’t wrong… even good things have a price…”  He stopped talking.  Talking required air he didn’t have.  But the thoughts in his head hurt almost as much as the pain in his ribs.  He couldn’t stop thinking.  So he just started running.

Even if it wasn’t wrong to have Tony in his bed every night, Peter had realized at some point during the day, there still had to be a price, didn’t there?  Everything had a price, that’s what all the old people at church kept saying.  They talked a lot about “sin” at First Devil’s church, but Peter had decided a while ago that having Tony as his friend was not a sin.  Tony couldn’t help what he was, or what he had been forced to do long before Peter was born.  And as for what they did in bed together in the darkness…

Peter moaned even as he ran.

He had tried to replay the conversation in his head, but replaying the conversation was causing him too much pain.  Because he had just been talking to be talking, he knew that without a doubt.  He had already told Tony all the important stuff that had happened while Tony had been asleep.  He didn’t have anything left to tell.  It was 3 o’clock in the morning, oh god he remembered, and by then he was just talking to stay awake.  Stay awake and enjoy what Tony was doing with his hands.

When Peter climbed onto Tony’s lap first night Tony had come from the place where he lived under the bed, well, that had been the bravest thing Peter had ever done in his life.  And probably the bravest thing he would do for a while, because pulling Tony’s mouth to the vein in his neck had resulted in a very surprising, embarrassing problem.

Namely, a very sudden and very painful erection.  Instant.  Aching.  Seemingly two feet long.   And pressing shamelessly and helplessly against Tony’s stomach  as Peter clung to Tony, wide-eyed and speechless.

Not that Tony commented, of course.  (But how could he?  He had been moaning and clutching to Peter like a drowning man, drinking deep.  Maybe he didn’t even notice himself.)

The next night Peter had to feed him the same way, of course.  After fulfilling his summer-long plan to demand it, he couldn’t exactly go back on it now.  That meant they lay on the bed more like the letter V than the letter I, Tony’s mouth attached to Peter’s neck, Peter’s body angled safely away in the other direction, his problem hidden under the covers.

But the third night, Peter had found a solution that was both simple and delightful.  Laying in Tony’s arms, his back pressed against Tony’s chest, his problem became a non-problem.   And it felt incredible. 

When he was in Tony’s arms, facing Tony, Tony’s hands stroked and caressed his back, which felt good.

But when he was in Tony’s arms, turned away from Tony, Tony’s hands stroked and caressed his chest which felt amazing. 

And that’s what he had been doing.  That’s why he had been talking.

He had been talking just to stay awake, just to enjoy Tony’s arms for a few more minutes.  Just to enjoy Tony’s hands for a few more minutes before Tony slipped away. 

He remembered it so clearly.  Tony was done with his second feeding and now was content to lick and nuzzle along Peter’s neck and shoulder, his hands roaming and exploring over Peter’s arms, and chest, and stomach.  Complimenting over and over the new muscles he found there.  Making Peter glow with pride.

“And that’s why you just had to keep talking”  Peter told himself.  “And that’s why this is your fault.”  He left off running and bent over, hands on in his burning thighs, struggling to breathe, fighting back tears.  He had been talking so Tony would keep touching him, not because he really had anything to say.  When he fell asleep Tony would slip into the basement and go back to hunting and consuming the rats that Peter had tasked him with.  Then, if there was still night left, he would be into the forest to consume “whatever the owls and the foxes eat,” with Peter’s permission.  Peter had been talking to keep Tony with him.  That’s why he had been complaining about his neighbors.

And he only had two.  The Lovelaces on the south side, and the DeSlaughters on the east.

On the south side, Missy Lovelace and her constant insistence that she was going to marry Peter.  Because once upon a time a girl that had lived in her house had wanted to marry a boy that had lived in Peter’s house and somehow that meant something.  Missy and her constant, unwelcome attempts to hold his hand.  Missy and her constant complaints about her dad, about school, and her ever-present fears about grades, both good and bad. 

On the east side, Mike DeSlaughter, who actually thought comics were a good idea.  Who thought college was a smart idea too.  Who had been friendly to Peter’s face but seemed to also be saying things behind his back.

“Shall I slay your foes in their beds, sweet Peter?” Tony said with a smile, nuzzling and nipping at his earlobe.  Peter had laughed (because Tony was joking, he could tell Tony was joking) and slapped at Tony’s hand playfully.  Then pressed it back to the center of his chest.  He loved it when Tony pressed his hand to the center of Peter’s chest.

“Just slay the rats in their sleep,” he had said that night.

“There are so many tasks I could perform for you, my master scholar.  Sometimes the Patriarchs would send me far and wide to seek out the prettiest maidens in the counties beyond.  I would spy upon them for weeks, then report back.  The Post sons wished to know all about the ladies and their lives, so they would know what to say when they went courting…”

“Stop,” Peter said laughing, reaching up to put his hand on Tony’s mouth, laughing even more when Tony began sucking on his fingers.  “The last thing I want to talk about is girls.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong, I say anything wrong,” Peter started up the chant again as he forced himself to keep walking.  “I didn’t tell him to do anything… I said I wish he’s stop telling the kids at school… I didn’t say anything else… I said good things.  I said he was a decent guy, although a little gun-crazy, I said his dad went to college, and that we were talking about college, and that’s all I said…” 

But he knew.  It had been days since that conversation, but last night was different.  Last night was something called “The Day of St. Cyprian,” which meant something to Tony, but Peter hadn’t really been interested right at that moment.  Right that moment, he wanted to Tony to keep feeding.

But when he woke up, Peter knew.  Knew that Tony had been to the DeSlaughter house, sitting right there inside the border of what had used to be Post Family property. 

He knew the moment he woke up that morning, Uncle Ben knocking on his door, calling him ‘son.’  Telling him he needed to come outside.

He didn’t know how he knew, he just knew.  It was in a dream he had, or dreamed that he had, a dream he struggled to remember as he headed straight to the sideyard, barefoot and pajamaed.  In the dream Tony had been apologizing, panting and straining, his voice almost too weak to hear.  Begging for something.  Something that sounded like ‘pardon.’  And Peter knew exactly where he had been.  That he had chosen that special night to visit the DeSlaughter house.  Because Peter had said “I wish.’   

Uncle Ben explained that Old-Blue, the dog that they always said had “come with the house” had not come with the other dogs to meet Uncle Ben when he went for his morning walk.  The dog wasn’t hard to find, he was still lying, unmoving, in his doghouse.  Peter could hardly hear him over blood pounding in his ears.  The three doghouses Ben and Peter had built together each had detachable roofs.  Without speaking Peter unlatched all four sides and pulled Old-Blue’s roof free.  He looked directly into his dead friend’s face.  Old-Blue’s eyes were closed, his face relaxed.  He had died in his sleep.

Just like those neighbors who had made the mistake of asking Evan Post when he would get himself a a wife.

Just like the full-grown male raccoon that was lying dead in the middle of the yard, not 8 feet away from Old-Blue.  It was the two peacefully-dead animals that were causing Ben and May much consternation, but Peter didn’t stick around to exchange theories.

“I didn’t tell him to do anything.  I didn’t.  I said Mike was a decent guy.  He is a decent guy.  I just said I wish he’d stop telling people…”

Maybe it was just a coincidence.  There was nothing special about Old-Blue dying, he was old, that’s why they called him Old-Blue.  He was a stray, all the family dogs were strays, but they considered him older than the others because he appeared the same day they moved in, sitting happily at the door as if he had been expected.  And the dead racoon wasn’t strange either (although the fact that the other dogs wouldn’t go near it was) and neither was the skunk lying dead in the ditch by the driveway, the one May and Ben hadn’t seen.  No, those three dead animals might not mean anything in particular.

But the crows laying beside the road, the two snapping turtles, the multiple rabbits and what might have been a coyote (Peter didn’t stop to check) were no coincidence.  No coincidence at all.

“I just said ‘I wish he would stop telling people he sees strange lights over my house.’  That’s all I said.  I said he was a decent guy.  I said I liked him…” Peter moaned as he sprinted.  There was no one on the empty gravel road to hear him.  Tony was gone and wouldn’t reappear until dark.  There was no way to talk to him now, to tell him Mike was a good guy, had even warned Peter in front of the other guys that the shed was just a prank.  But Peter hadn’t told Tony that.  Because Peter didn’t want to talk about the shed.  Not with Tony.  Not with anyone.

-----------------------

The Master (Post)     -- please ask/comment/question/argue on @witchwayisright​

#The Thing That Lives Under The Bed #Demon!Tony #But not THAT Demon!Tony #TheWitchway writes stuff #Starker

[evans-maxed-out]

How A Heart Breaks-Samcedes Chatzy (flashback November 2019)

Who: Sam Evans, Mercedes Jones and Quinn Fabray. Mentions of Mike Chang

Where:Sam and Mike’s practice

When: End of November 2019

Notes: Mercedes and Sam end up in a heated discussion that turns to more carnal affairs, while Quinn’s presence is a continued source of heartache for Mercedes..

Mercedes checked herself in the mirror before exiting the car. She hated that Rachel bamboozled her into volunteering for the food drive. Any other time she would have been ecstatic to lend a helping hand but now given the circumstances she wanted to be anywhere but here. After that night with Quinn she couldn’t bear sleeping in the same bed every night next to Sam knowing he was moving on. Six months they had been separated only really talking when it came to Sammie. This was something Mercedes implemented because it seemed that whenever they would be in one another capacity it led to arguing then sex. Albeit mind numbing sex but this viscous cycle has to stop. She made her way inside praying to all the heavens she would avoid Sam but fate was a wicked bitch. There he was with her. A very pregnant her. “You got this Mercedes, you’re strong and plenty capable of managing this.” She said to herself hoping this light zoomed by.

Sam: He was tired- tired of not being able to sleep without Mercedes in his bed, tired of the arguments that seemed to go around in circles every time he tried to talk to her about anything other than Sammie, tired of watching his wife slip through his fingers. “Are you OK, Sam?” Quinn asked him, coming into his office. “ Isn’t Mercedes supposed to be here for the food drive?” Sam looked up numbly at her and nodded. “ Yeah, she is...Rachel managed to talk her into helping out. I know she’d rather have walked through hot coals than be here otherwise.” Quinn moved around his desk, mindful of her prominent baby bump and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry you’re going through this...Have you managed to talk to her about the separation?” He shook his head, his hand banging down on the table in frustration. “ I’m struggling Quinn... I don’t know how to reach her and I’m just so tired..I love her and nothing I say makes a damn difference- I don’t understand why she wanted this separation!” He stood up suddenly, running his hand through his hair. “Oh Sam..” Quinn sniffed, raising her arms to hug him close. “I’m so sorry...”

Mercedes wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole. She watched as Sam and Quinn looked as is they were having a very intimate conversation. They way they seemed to interact and move with one another showed her that they were closer than she originally thought. When Quinn hugged him she wanted to cross over to where they were and say something but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. “Hey Mercedes, thanks for coming.” Rachel’s voice startled her out of her of delusion. “Hey Rach. You owe me big time.” “I know it was hard for you to come here but the kids we will be helping are super grateful.” Rachel peeked over to where her bestie’s line of sight was focused on and could see Sam in his office with Quinn. She knew her friend was hurting after that phone call she got six months ago. She just never figured Sam would stoop so low to openly flaunt his mistress in front of his wife. “Don’t do this to yourself Mercedes.” She advised Mercedes wrapping a supportive hand in hers. “How could I have been such a fool Rachel? Just when I was starting to believe in my marriage it falls apart.”

Sam: He was grateful for the hug that Quinn gave him, but it felt empty and he knew it was because the one person he longed to hold in his arms, was so far out of his reach it damn near broke his heart. "I just..I need her to give me a chance..I'll do anything she wants, just for a chance.." he whispered into her hair. He broke away slowly, still holding her gently. "What about you and Mike?" he asked her gently. "Things are..hard. He wants to be in the baby's life..he says he loves me..but Kitty's threatened him with taking Missy away...She keeps calling me, texting me..saying I'm a slut and my baby's a bastard..I know I shouldn't have gotten involved with him again..I knew he was married but I just couldn't help it..I love him, Sam.." she told him tearfully. "Hey..hey..you're not a slut. Or a homewrecker or anything else that bitch says..Yes, he was married but only because she trapped him the first year in college by poking holes in the condoms they were using. He never loved her. He loves you..trust me..He'll make it right," he reassured her, cupping her face. "Oh!" Quinn exclaimed, before beaming a watery smile at him. "The baby's kicking!" Automatically she grabbed his hand, and placed it on her belly where strong kicks were being aimed by the unborn child inside. "Uh.Quinn..that's great..really..but you need to do this with Mike.." he said, pulling his hand away, slightly awkward. " Go see him, he'll definitely want to feel it."

Mercedes tried her best to look away but she couldn’t. Even with Rachel behind her back telling her to move on and do something to distract her she couldn’t. “Rachel, that’s nice and all but right now I just can’t.” She was seeing red when she watched as Sam caressed Quinn’s belly and it was like her feet moved on their own. She stalked intensely towards Sam’s office Rachel’s pleas falling on death ears. She didn’t even knock just pushed the door the rest of the way open. “Excuse me, if you could pry yourself away from my husband for a moment I’d like to speak to him in private.” Before Quinn could speak she was not so politely shoving the girl out the office and closing the door on her. “Look Sam, about picking Sammie up from school today. Don’t worry about it. Obviously you have other priorities to tend to.” She said turning on her heels to leave.

Sam: "What the hell?" he asked her, as Quinn unobtrusively melted away from the room. "Other priorities? The fuck I have other priorities.." He grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him. "You seriously can’t be thinking..Dammit, Mercedes, look at me! You can't just blow me the hell off like this! I've been walking on eggshells for MONTHS, and now what? You're telling me my kid isn't a priority with me?"

Mercedes: tried to ignore the sparks she felt when he grabbed her arm. “It doesn’t matter what I think. We are separated and my priorities don’t concern worries about what you do. Sammie is my priorities and that’s all that matters.” She knew those words probably stung a bit but she didn’t care. He apparently didn’t care enough to be cautious around her so oh well. “I can do whatever I want. I’m a grown ass woman Sam. You obviously are too busy dealing with things here so I got Sammie.”

Sam: It was like lighting touch paper-his temper suddenly soared, exploding red hot as his lips crashed down on hers. "The fuck you're doing this to me," he growled, one hand already grasping the hem of her shirt. "You're a fucking cocktease, Mercedes...You talk about being separated, but it takes me just touching you to have you begging...And you know what? The hell I'm letting you go right now.." He wrenched her shirt over her head, tossing it carelessly to the side, uncaring of whoever might enter his office. His mouth took hers again, tongue demanding and unforgiving as his fingers tweaked her nipples roughly through the material of her bra.  “I don't care if this is all we'll ever have..All I care about is being deep inside you,' he growled before biting down roughly on the soft skin of her neck, determined to leave his mark there for all to see. His fingers rucked her skirt up about her waist as his knee slid in between her thighs. One hand traced the outline of the lace panties she wore, before his fingers bunched the material tightly, ripping it away in one savage motion. "You knew what would happen the minute you set foot inside this office, don't pretend you didn't," he accused her roughly as he ran his thumb over her clit lightly. "You knew that there would be no way you'd leave this office without being thoroughly fucked and my come deep inside you.." On the word, two fingers slid into her sweetly wet warmth, thumb still strumming lazily over her swollen clit...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mercedes: rested her head on Sam’s shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. This was becoming a wicked pattern they were following. A heated argument leading to even more heated carnal sex. This had to stop. There had to be a way out. She knew despite it all nothing more could come of this because he had whatever it was going on with Quinn. Yet all she wanted was to be here in this moment with Sam. She kissed him gently as she felt him tap her bottom so she could move. She stood letting him up and watched as he disappeared on the bathroom. Maybe they could work things out. Maybe they ended up like this for a reason and instead of fighting it she needed to be more open to accepting that whatever this pull was wasn’t going away. She reached down grabbing her underwear and decided to pick up Sam’s clothes as well. When she picked up his coat she heard something drop to the floor with a thud. She ignored it getting dressed first then noticed the small velvet box that laid before her feet. Immediately her mind thought the worst as she bent to pick it up. Can’t be. She thought to herself as her hands trembled around the item. She slowly opened it and gasped at the beautiful ring inside. He was going to propose. Everything she thought had been true. She heard her finishing up in the bathroom and quickly placed the box back in his coat and left his office running.

#How A Heart Breaks #ATCTHGB #Samcedes #Samcedes RP

[meggtheegg]

What are the different interpretations of the different Connor Murphy actors that you have seen? (You can just talk about the actors that you have seen.)

So, I’ve seen three different actors as Connor in-person.

First, obviously, was Mike Faist. Mike’s Connor changed quite a bit from the fist time I saw him to his last show, but I’m going to just analyze my favorite of his performances. He played a Connor who was very afraid of himself. Some of the others tend to make him more of a me-against-the-world sort of character, but Mike’s version had more of a me-against-the-world-but-also-against-myself mindset. He didn’t entirely trust anyone. Still, he had a noticeable sense of humor, and there were glimmers of moments where he was genuinely funny. He wasn’t trying to make a joke to make people like him. He was joking because he thought it was funny. He’s the only Connor who’s played the “am I not laughing hard enough for you?” bit for laughs. And that only makes it more jarring when he suddenly gets serious and pushes Evan. Because something he’s joking about in one moment can become very personal and painful in an instant. His computer lab scene is extremely awkward. He talks in a serious, kind of monotone voice. That’s how he tends to talk anyway, but it’s especially pronounced in that scene. He’s very awkward and intense with people. His voice is always a little too loud, his stance a little too aggressive, even when he’s trying to be nice. (What’s really interesting is listening to the audiobook and hearing how he interprets Connor’s inner monologue. Because that is soft, almost a whisper at points, and much more expressive. He’s so much gentler on the inside, but he doesn’t know how to show it.) His Sincerely, Me is the most fun. I think Mike, being the analytical theatre guy he is, knows that a major function of the song is to provide some much-needed comedic relief to the audience. So, his Imaginary Connor in that scene is goofy and fun and happy, but also conceivably real. You almost forget it’s a facade. It’s just two buddies having a good time. Later, though, his Imaginary Connor becomes a direct reflection of whoever he’s with, whether it be Jared or Evan. In the performance I’m thinking back to, he was crying during the “Did you fall, or did you let go?” scene. He was the face of the emotions Evan was hiding. His vocal patterns and his posture and his facial expressions were not at all what Connor was when he was alive. He’s Evan, through and through.

Ben Ross took a different approach. Because he is not physically intimidating at all, he made his real Connor kind of unpredictable and creepy. I actually felt uneasy when he was onstage. (He also is the only Connor who actually made him act like he was high.) He’s a strong, terrifying presence, and you can see why everyone at school is afraid of him. You don’t get why Zoe is afraid of him, because she could easily kick his ass, but you’ve got to suspend your disbelief somewhere. His computer lab scene was awkward, too, but it was also obvious how hard he was trying. He was softer than Mike, despite being more intense in his other scenes. You really got a clear final reminder that this was a kid. Really, he’s the only Connor that forced the audience to see that. His Sincerely, Me was over-the-top and cartoonish. The way he can move his body is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It was disconcerting, and really hit you in the face that they were using a dead teenager like their puppet. He almost looked like a marionette. It maintained some humor because of the sheer goofiness of it, but you definitely weren’t sitting back and having fun like when Mike was Connor. His later scenes with Evan were pretty similar to Mike’s. He lost the creepy intensity of living Connor and became more like Evan as it went on. Though, the emotional intensity of the “did you fall” scene was very different. Mike is so tall that the scene felt like Evan’s emotions were literally towering over him. Ben was shorter than MLB, and in a way, it changed the feeling of the scene completely. Like Evan still had power over his emotions, but wasn’t sure he should. Where Mike demanded he tell the truth, Ben begged him to. Alex’s Connor is the most expressive while he’s alive. His voice is almost straining because he is on guard and defensive all the time. His fight-or-flight mode doesn’t stop. In the computer lab scene, he seems the most like he doesn’t want to be there, but knows he should. And he’s also the most upset when he sees the letter. He starts crying before he storms out. His Connor is like a ticking emotional time bomb, and the one who seems to have the least hope. You go into the show knowing he’s going to die because the script says so, but you feel like Mike’s could have potentially made it through that day and Ben’s was just a kid who could have gotten better. Alex’s Connor’s death feels much more inevitable. His Sincerely, Me is bone-chilling. I’ve never heard an audience that silent during a song that was written to be funny. He makes the movements, but only as much as he has to. He’s stiff and unnatural and empty behind the eyes. Where Ben felt like a cartoon or a puppet, Alex feels almost like a zombie. You are never unaware of how wrong it is that they’re using Connor like this. You can’t forget that he’s gone. His later scenes with Evan are kind of low-energy. I almost wonder if he’s aiming for an approach similar to Laura Dreyfuss’ take on Zoe. He’s just tired. Evan’s felt so intensely for so long that he’s almost numb to it, by now. That is what’s personified in Alex’s Imaginary Connor. One thing that’s interesting is that in the reprise of Sincerely Me, he’s back to the dead-eyed blank slate from the original song. When Evan makes Jared stop, he just stands there staring out at the audience, motionless until Jared pushes him offstage. Mike and Ben used that scene to act as Jared’s internal monologue a little, offended and bothered that Evan’s pushing him away. It really does reflect on how the actor views Jared, at that point. The others treat it like he’s started using Connor for handling his emotions, just like Evan. Alex interprets him as still using him as an emotionless thing to control. Both options definitely work, it’s just an intriguing choice for me.

#Anonymous

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[ghostoffandompast]

Dear Evan Hansen Overview

((Before I begin, I dedicate this overview to @yes-i-also-miss-our-talks . The three beautiful people who moderate this fantastic account have made me fall deeper in love with a musical than I thought was possible. Thank you for creating so much love.))

I was lucky enough to witness this beautiful show live. Everyone deserves to know what this experience is like. Read on, and see the story.

Original Cast w/ exception of Evan being played by Michael Lee Brown and Heidi being played by Garrett Long

IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO HAVE SPOILERS, STOP READING NOW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Anybody Have A Map?

 Heidi repetitively taps her son, trying to somehow transfer her positivity to Evan. (She’s super physical while he is not!) When Heidi suggests that he ask people to sign his cast, she has to force the sharpie into his hand. Evan quickly grabs his bag and leaves, trying to avoid more conversation. She leaves and the Murphy’s enter. Everyone is so angry, Connor is refusing everything and do anything to not have to go to school, and he and Zoe are arguing as Cynthia sings. Larry leaves and so does Zoe. Heidi and Cynthia stand at the front of the stage, while behind them Connor and Evan are putting on their bags and running off stage. As the moms finish singing and the scene changes to the high school.

Waving Through A Window 

He’s shaking. Turning his foot in and spinning it anxiously. (He does this throughout the rest of the show when he gets uncomfortable) Refusing to look at anyone. When Zoe comes to Evan, he freaks out even more. He looks so..hurt. Like everything is his fault. Like he deserved to be pushed to the ground and to make a fool of himself. He tries reaching out to everyone and they won’t even look at him. A perfect representation of what anxiety makes life become. He’s chasing everyone and no one notices, no matter how much he cries out. It’s heartbreaking and amazing.

Waving Through A Window (Alana Reprise) 

This is before Evan hears the news of Connor’s suicide. We see Alana alone on stage, walking fast with her phone in her face. She faces us, singing the chorus with a sad look on her face, and then rushes off stage and Evan is in the principal’s office.

For Forever

And the lies have begun. Evan sits at the dinner table with the Murphy family. Larry seems to be angry that Evan is there and saying all these things. Zoe is dismissing everything. Cynthia encourages him to keep talking. Tell the story. And he does. He tells what he wishes he had. A friend. A fun day. Someone to be there for you. He ends, almost crying and Cynthia crying as well. The scene ends with the two hugging and Cynthia repetitively thanking him.

Sincerely, Me

[Out of storyteller mode for a second: Mike Faist in this? My new religion. His expressions were priceless. And the dancing? Glorious.] Jared and Evan argue throughout the whole writing process of the fake emails as a phantom Connor reenacts what they write. It’s hilarious while also finally giving Evan the illusion of a happy caring friendship which he’d always wanted.

Requiem 

Zoe grabs one of Connor’s printed out ‘emails’ because Cynthia begs her to read them. She sits on the couch and tells of how she can’t. Mourning can’t happen if you never cared for them. Larry checks on Cynthia, telling her to leave her son’s room already. Instead, she gives him an email as well. He leaves the room and crumples it while he sings. Cynthia strokes the bed. Like he had just been there. Zoe sobs as she screams about all Connor had put her through. All the emotional trauma. The whole family harmonizes and the scene ends.

If I Could Tell Her 

Evan taps random objects in Connor’s room while telling Zoe all these things that he knew about her (“Because Connor told me” he said.) Gesturing to her continuously. When he says “a million worlds apart”, she nods. It’s the most accurate description of their relationship. She wants to hear more and Evan panics and jumps onto the bed beside her. He gets back into a rhythm and walks around. Repeating “I love you”, he walks closer until he is inches away from Zoe. The song ends and he kisses her, making her run.

Disappear 

Connor needs Evan to do something. For him. For the Murphy’s. For everyone. He inspired him to make The Connor Project. He brought it to Alana and Jared. Alana was ecstatic and ready to help. They presented it to the Murphy family. They can’t believe.. All for their son? They decide to set up an assembly for Connor where anyone can speak, and Evan, having everyone already assume he will speak, prepares a speech. Cynthia gives Evan a tie that she got for Connor. He was supposed to wear it for bar mitzvahs. He didn’t get invited to a single one. The assembly begins.

You Will Be Found 

[Give me a second. This song. THIS. FUCKING. SONG. It brought me to tears. I get emotional, yes, but it takes a lot to get me to cry. I finally broke. The girls beside me handed me tissues.] Stuttering through his speech, Evan ends up dropping his notecards, falling to the ground after them. He lies on his back, his anxiety attack worsening as he hyperventilates. Suddenly, he stands. Silent. His notecards long forgotten, Evan begins the song. Jared and Alana encourage his ideas and begin to sing with him. Evan finally feels important. He feels like he can do something. [Made me feel like I could do something. It was moving and I am so lucky to have witnessed it.] Everyone goes back and forth, singing. Larry breaks down crying, Cynthia comforts him, Jared and Alana stand side by side in amazement of what one speech could do. This continues until all we have is Zoe on her bed with Evan. “You gave me my brother back.” And she kisses him. Evan pauses, not knowing what to do. Zoe looks away, and Evan snaps back to reality and kisses her back. Act 1 has come to an end.

[Intermission] 

I bonded with the girls beside me by crying with them. It was great.

Sincerely, Me (Reprise) 

The insanely cool Jared Kleinman wanted to write himself into Connor’s story. He’d never admit it, but he missed Evan noticing him. He was forgotten. And getting desperate for attention. “Well, good luck raising the money for the orchard because if there’s anything we know about Connor, the guy loved trees. Wait… you love trees. Well, isn’t that interesting. Guess I shouldn’t tell anyone about that.”

To Break In A Glove

Evan and Larry look through his old belonging to auction off to raise money for the orchard. They find a glove, and Larry asks Evan if he has one. His response is that his probably too small for him now. He tells Evan he can have it and begins to sing the story behind the glove. And how to break it in. Evan says that Connor was lucky to have a dad who cares about taking care of things. Larry responds with Evan’s dad is lucky to have a son like him. Evan agrees, silently. And then he tells him that what he said isn’t true, his father left when he was 7 and has a new family now. Larry hands him the glove, smiles, and sends him on his way.

Only Us 

For the first time, Evan brought Zoe to his house. In his room, he brings up The Connor Project and Zoe tells him that they need to talk. He believes that she is going to break up with him. She tells him that not everything between them needs to be about Connor and she sings. He joins. Their love is strong. And they passionately kiss.

Good For You 

Returning home after leaving the Murphy’s and denying the college money they had offered, Heidi questions Evan about everything. Where he’s been, why he lied, why she isn’t enough for him. He tells her how it isn’t that bad that others can give him more than she can, and he leaves. She begins to sing. Frustrated. Evan now appears at school and is confronted Alana. “Why did Connor kill himself?” “Why are so many things in these emails not adding up?” He yells at her, and she yells back. Evan backs up until he is in a room with Jared. Jared laughs at Evan’s situation. Saying how he can tell everyone everything. Evan tells him how he’d be dragging himself down too. “Why don’t you go tell everyone how you helped me write emails pretending to be some kid who killed himself?!” Jared curses him out and Alana sings and he follows suit. Soon enough, the three who Evan trusted now surround him screaming. A panic attack. He’s terrified. They won’t let him escape. They all leave and Connor confronts him amid his panic.

For Forever (Reprise) 

Evan doesn’t want to do this anymore. No more lies. He can’t. He wants to tell the truth. But Connor reminds him that he can’t even tell himself the truth. He asks him how he broke his arm. “Did you fall, Evan? or did you let go?” He cries. Why is he here talking to himself? Again? “You can get rid of me whenever you want. You can get rid of all of it; The Connor Project, the orchard. But then all you’re going to be left with…is you..” Connor sings in a calming tone, slowly, as if trying to soothe Evan. He holds him, tells him to think about his choices, and leaves him alone in the darkness.

You Will Be Found (Reprise) 

Sung by Jared and Alana, this beautiful melody becomes warped when accompanied by the ‘suicide note’ and people’s responses, beginning to destroy the Murphy family for blame for Connor’s suicide. It ends with Jared and Alana spiraling around Evan, then leaving, and he is with the Murphy’s who are sitting at the table, thinking about what to do now.

Words Fail 

Evan reaches to the Murphy’s then stops then does it again continuously while explaining why he lied. Cynthia is sobbing throughout the first half of the song, Larry refuses to even look up and Zoe feels betrayed. They all go running out except Larry who glares before painfully walking away. In the background, Connor appears and grimaces while shaking his head and storms out. And Evan is alone. He cries his heart out and looks lost and terrified as he sings until he steps into the spotlight and the song ends. His home appears before him…

So Big/So Small 

Heidi looks so hurt bringing back this memory as she sings, avoiding eye contact with Evan as they both sit on the couch. Singing the story of how Evan’s father left, she tries to comfort him. Telling him that she is never leaving. She holds him tight, holding her little guy close. They’ll be okay someday. Just wait and see. ((When she sang, “when it all feels so big, til it all feels so small” while holding him, she did a cute laugh while saying big and looked at the huge boy she was holding in her arms.))

Finale 

One year later. The Orchard. Evan has never gone until now. It’s quite beautiful. Everyone appears behind him, singing as he finally, finally is okay. He’s enough. And the stage goes dark.

[Stage door]

Only Michael Lee Brown went to the door so I couldn’t give Laura the gift I had made for her. (I’ll mail it to her.) I told him how beautiful his performance was and how I couldn’t stop crying. He did a small smile, thanked me, and signed my playbill and went on to my mom to sign hers.

This was the most mesmerizing and incredible musicals I have ever seen (and the first on Broadway) and I wish I could stay forever.

Thank you, Music Box Theater, Pasek & Paul, the amazing band, and to the cast. This night was truly beautiful.

All I see is sky for forever

#dear evan hansen #evan hansen #connor murphy #zoe murphy #heidi hansen #jared kleinman #alana beck #cynthia murphy #larry murphy #ben platt #michael lee brown #laura dreyfuss #rachel bay jones #garrett long #will roland #Kristolyn Lloyd #jennifer laura thompson #michael park #pasek and paul #efg writing

[amazestuff]

A MAZE. / Johannesburg 2017 - Official Games Selection

“The games we’ve selected for the festival are showing unforgettable experiences, immersive narratives and playful interaction, that describe a growing international and local movement of experimental and artistic game authorship.” - Thorsten S. Wiedemann, director of A MAZE.

All games in the official selection are competing for the glory of the 3rd A MAZE. Johannesburg Awards. On Saturday September 16, 2017 at 7pm - on the final day of A MAZE. / Johannesburg 2017 we will announce the winners of the three remarkable categories. The trophies are made and designed by the digital artist Rick Treweek.

Previous winners are:

2015 The Pinkest Game of Show Award Boxer by Cukia Kimani and Ben Crooks (South Africa)

2016 The Pinkest Game Award Wrestling with Emotions by TeamLazerBeam (South Africa) The Most Thought Provoking Game of Show Award Aurion: Legacy of the Kori - Odan by Kiro’o Games (Cameroon)

The Weirdest Game of Show Award La Discipline du Rectangle by One Life Remains (France)

More about A MAZE. / Johannesburg 2017 progamme and ticketing - check our website: www.amaze-johannesburg.co.za

9L17CH (South Africa)

By Rohun Ranjith / @hi_rohun

2D puzzle platformer that uses a glitch mechanic to solve puzzles

A SHORT HISTORY OF THE GAZE (United States of America)

By Molleindustria / @molleindustria

A Short History of the Gaze is an experiential essay for Virtual Reality about the relationship between gaze and violence. From the evolution of sight in a pre-cambrian sea creature to the dominance display of a primate, from a landscape of billboards begging for attention to an infinite panopticon, the player traverses and affects the virtual scenes by simply looking (or not looking) at things.

All YOU CAN EAT (Croatia)

By Gamechuck / @gamechuck

“All You Can Eat" is an interactive comic that gives you control over a modern hero of our times, a man so lazy he decided to quit his job and just spend his life inside an All-you-can-eat diner. As years go by, his freeloading nature becomes legend, but then a tragedy occurs - the diner is about to close down! Will our hero finally settle down and ...?

ALONE (South Africa)

By Jason Sutherland and Richard Pieterse / @driftprism and @nekropants

Alone is an experience of patience and self reflection.

ARMEL (South Africa)

By Kimard Studio / @kimardamina

Armel is a 2D mini puzzle platformer game where the character has been reduced is in a music sheet world and is living composed music. Avoid various obstacles to reach to the music notes that help you move forward by building the next music lines of the world. The character runs, jumps and can push a rock to get the puzzle right and move to end a level. Armel was sent in exile by the evil queen on his world because he refused to play for her as he was the best musician. For this, she threw a curse on him and sent him to go and make compositions before he returns.

BLIND DRIVE (Israel)

By Lo-Fi People / @blinddrivegame

Blind Drive is an audio-based, arcade-style driving game with a dark and humorous narrative. You're blindfolded and driving against traffic as a mysterious voice gives you suicidal commands on the phone. Swerve away from on-rushing vehicles using only your hearing to guide you.

CLOSER (Canada)

By Mary Claire Flanagan / @omarieclaire    

Closer is a game for two people: to start you must stand close together, and to succeed you must work together.

COURAGE, DEAR HEART (South Africa)

By Bahiyya Khan and Claire Meekel / @breakinbahiyya

Courage, Dear Heart is a vignette fmv game that explores the life of Lilith Grey who was molested as a child and how it informs her present life. It also explores what it's like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder (which comes as a result of her molestation) and aims to educate people on how these issues may affect young women.

CRICKET THROUGH THE AGES (South Africa)

By Evan Greenwood and Jason Sutherland / @CodeOfTheVoid

The grand history of the fabled sport of cricket, as it evolved through the ages, and as humankind evolved alongside it. Played out as a two player, two button, video game.

DRESS TO EXPRESS DANCING SUCCESS (South Africa)

By Team Lazerbeam / @teamlazerbeam

Dress To Express Dancing Success is dating sim and dancing sim hybrid that explores personal identity, social anxiety and shaking your limbs in front of strangers.

FROG SMASHERS (South Africa)

By Mike Scott and Ruan Rothman / @rrza and @mikescottiskiff

Frog Smashers is a local multiplayer game about hitting frogs with baseball bats. It tells the tragic tale of the downfall of frog civilization following a tragic misunderstanding at a bus stop.

FROM DARKNESS (Austria)

By gold extra / @extra_gold

The documentary single-player experience FROM DARKNESS (currently in alpha 0.6) takes you to the streets of Eastern Africa. It’s a compelling interactive journey. Nairobi, capital of Kenya and sprawling power hub of Africa’s East, becomes the starting point of an intense investigation exploring the lives of journalists, shop owners, community workers, and urban refugees.

GENITAL JOUSTING - THE STORY OF JOHN (South Africa)

By Free Lives / @Free_Lives

Play through the narrated life of a penis named John. Struggle with him, as he escapes corporate life, masters materialism, travels the world and, eventually, overcomes his greatest enemy: himself.

GORN (South Africa)

By Free Lives / @Free_Lives

GORN is a ludicrously violent VR gladiator simulator, made by Free Lives, the developers of Broforce and Genital Jousting. Featuring a unique, fully physics driven combat engine, GORN combatants will be able to creatively execute their most violent gladiatorial fantasies in virtual reality. The most brutal and savage VR face-smashing game ever produced by man.    

HENKA TWIST CAPER (United States of America)

By OriGaminc / @shawnpierre

Twist your body. Twist the controller. Stay in the box. Find the sweet spot. Stop everyone else.

ISOMETRIC EPILEPSY (GERMANY)

By Ludopium / @ludopium

Isometric Epilepsy (IE) is a rhythm based 3d platformer with an isometric view. The players have to overcome various obstacles to proceed in the game.These obstacles change in sync with the music. The players have to memorize patterns and solve environment-specific riddles while playing to the beat of the music.

JODIO (South Africa)

Keanu Texiera, Rohun Ranjith and Kirsten-Lee Naidoo / @kirsty_lee0

A game where players interact with 'Johannesburg' in order to make weird music and accompanying visuals. The game is a kind of audio visualizer that uses low poly art assets. It was made for a second year exam project that was based on the topic 'Urban' with a setting of Johannesburg and the group decided to focus on the sounds of Joburg.

LIFE, LOVE & Tentacles (Germany)  

By Firepunchd Games / @firepunchd

Life, Love & Tentacles (VR Tech demo) is the story of a giant monster who falls in love with a human and the ensuing complications of living in a unfortunately scaled environment. The story unravels in a set of mini games in which the player tries not to wreck total havoc while attempting to lead a human-like everyday life. The game will be in full time development later this year, but this early demo let you sneak a glimpse at basic gameplay and tentacles' physics.

MOLOCH (ZERO) (United States of America)

By Seemingly Pointless / @just404it

MOLOCH (Zero) is a narrative game that puts the player through a shift manager job interview. The player must control the flow and speed of workers as they progress down hallways. MOLOCH (Zero) has the player question and balance their own personal in-game ambitions against the health and safety of their workers. Fast is efficient, yet it risks the lives of the workers. How badly do you want this job?

MOSH PIT SIMULATOR (Poland)

By Sos / @Sosowski

Mosh Pit Simulator is a game about punching, stretching and throwing wobbly humans in an unrealistic sandbox setting. The game takes place in a number of locations (city, in a helicopter, on a train, in space). And it's all about fight people off and funny things.

MUDDLEDASH (Scotland)

By slampunks / @nialltl and @slampunks

Muddledash is a couch-competitive octopus racing game. You are a wriggly little octopus, trying to get to the most bopping party of the year with a gift in hand before all your friends. Just one catch - there's only one gift. Fashionably late is now out of season.

NIDHOGG 2 (United States of America)

By Messhof / @messhof  

The wurm has returned and it must feed! Shed your garments and paint the walls with the flesh of your enemies, for only one can be worthy of sacrifice.

NONGÜNZ (Spain)

By Brainwash Gang / @SindiecateArts

Nongünz is a nihilistic action platformer which combines hectic shootouts with the management of a mysterious idle game.

NOUR (United States of America)

By Terrifying Jellyfish / @sd

In a post-soylent world, we tend to forget how much of a luxury food is. Nour is an experimental food art game with no goals or objectives, just have fun while you play with your food as if you're a kid again. You are presented with scenes full of ramen noodles, boba tea, popcorn etc, and you mash buttons to interact with the food in curious and unconventional ways.  

PALMYSTERY (Canada)

By Paloma Dawkins / @PalomaDawkins

Welcome to the castle of Palmystery where the spirit of a princess guards the entrance into the the realm of hands. Once you enter, you will find that Palmystery is more of a surreal psychedelic trip through a never ending imaginary world of cartoony hands and anxiety inducing techno music than a videogame. This is a game that was made with an emotional tone in mind; the experience lasts about 15 minutes and is meant to leave you feeling shocked, disturbed, and in awe (like IRL life).

PLUSH PUNCH ( South Africa)

By DoubleDate (Ben McInnes, Adoné Kitching, Daoyi Lui, Pieter Roodt) / @bsmcinnes

Plush Punch is an alternative controller game that lets the player be the villain. In an attempt to join the Ministry of Miscreants, you stomp through the plush forest punching cute critters right in the face! With every hit your pesky soul is depleted, and you get one step closer to proving yourself to your fellow scoundrels. But beware, the plushes fight back with hugs (sis) and love (yuck)! Every cute cuddle increases the count on your soul meter, and gets you further away from your nefarious dreams.

PUPPET FEVER (Sweden)

By Coastlebyte Games / @PuppetFever

Puppet Fever is about acting, shouting and peeking inside of your friends' heads. It's a new kind of local multiplayer VR game developed by Swedish game developer Coastalbyte Games. In Puppet Fever players are taking turns to be the puppet master of a virtual puppet theatre. The puppet master serves as game show host, judge and actor as the other players guess the hidden word, much like a game of charades.

ROTORING (Ukraine)

By Gregory Kogos / @aronegal

RotoRing is circular puzzle platformer with pretty lights and clicky knobs. More here: https://goo.gl/FBJeSm

SHHH (Spain)

By Ludipe & Celer / @lupide

A game about voices and oppression made for #resistjam

#SKIJUMP (Denmark)

By VRUnicorns / @VRunicorns

#SkiJump - jump like a unicorn in VR! Ski the slopes like a pro and jump higher that you would ever be capable of IRL. #SkiJump has it all (including snow balls).    

SKY (United States of America)

By Bearwarp

Sky is a slow paced, atmospheric sound-explorer that allows the player to create relationships of sound, line and image by navigating an open world of clouds and constellations. These relationships unfold gradually as the player discovers constellations to identify areas and collects letters of cuneiform to develop the character.

SMILE WHILE (United States of America)

By  Matthew Keff / @matthewkeff

Rule and order can be considered necessary to communicate ideas successfully.  Many forms of communication need a structure to share information.  If an experience is absent of rules, the individual is left to implement their own.  Smile While is a game you can play by yourself or with others by looking for your own goals, or ignoring them altogether.  There are many attributes in simulated environments that mimic physical space.  By pulling those attributes out of alignment, this work aims to examine silly chaos and absurdity, building upon the imagination of the viewer.

SPACE KITTY (United States of America)

By Karina Popp and Alex Duncan / @knarniapop

Space Kitty is an infi-player zap-em-up that uses your computer's webcam and any flashlight to shoot on screen dogliens.

STAR SCOOTER (Zambia)

By Mwase Alister Phiri

This is an action-platform game. The titular protagonist uses the cosmic powers to stop the evil forces from taking over the Solar system. The game is actually tough and the controls for the playable character are slightly buggy. Passion, enthusiasm, inspiration and determination.

STIFLED (Singapore)

By Gattai Games / @thatjustinng

Stifled

TEMPORALITY (United States of America)

By James Earl Cox III and Julie Buchanan / @just404it

Temporality is a music experience that encourages narrative interpretation. The controls are simple: “A” to move your soldier forward through time, “D” to move backwards. Besides the title and credits, there is no in-game text. This allows for a music centered experience, where the visuals supplement the audio and where the player can reflect and ponder.

THE CATACOMBS OF SOLARIS (Australia)

By Ian MacLarty / @muclorty

Explore a colourful maze, but not too quickly. Take your time and soon something strange and unexpected will happen…

THE ORCHARD (Kenya)

By Broken Helmet Entertainment / @BrokenHelmet and @DavidKamunyu

This is a role playing, first person view, adventure game, set in a sand box, open world with simulation, survival, puzzle and crafting mechanics.

THE LAMP OF TRUTH (Algeria)

By Diaa ElHak Guedouari / @diaaxstudios

A puzzle platformer game about existential illusions. Use the lanterns to illuminate the reality and your path to the next level. Remember, anything that you can't see, doesn't exist.

SOKPOP GAME SELECTION (NETHERLAND)

By Sokpop / @sokpopco

Video game collective includes @arankoning, @tijmentio, @tomboogaart and @rubna_ (Aran will be on-site)

TRAMP (Spain)

By Laura Martorana, Leandro Estrella and Adrián Martínez Puente / @estrellaleandr

Tramp /tɹæmp/ - A long walk, possibly of more than one day, in a scenic or wilderness area.“We tramped through the woods for hours before we found the main path again”.

TRIGGERED (South Africa)

By Bracken Hall / @Count_Bracula

Triggered is a small local-multiplayer 2D action platformer that started with the question "Do players prefer shooting one big bullet that does 3 damage, or three small bullets that each do 1 damage?" Of course, JW already answered that in The Art of Screenshake, but TRIGGERED gives players the choice to play with both options, which makes for some pretty fun and interesting gameplay. NOW WITH BULLETJUMP.

VICIOUS ATTACK LLAMA APOCALYSE (South Africa)

By Bradley Hean, Jamo Taylor, Sashen Reddy and Matt Cavanagh / @roguecode

The world's best mass llama-slaughter roguelike-lite-ish couch co-op twin-stick top-down shooter.

WINDOW WASHERS (South Africa)

By Thomas Mathew, Annika Morris and Dan Park

This is a game about being a window washer in South Africa. It's very relatable and has very unique gameplay.

VINYLOS (Austria)

By Jonas Bo! and Josef Who? / @agentwell and @josefwho

vinylOS is an alternative controller (alt.ctrl) game console and media art installation based on a DJ turntable. The turntable is transformed into a screen by projecting onto it from above.

#altgames #Amaze2017 indiedev

[and-stir-the-stars]

Thing your au sparked in my brain:

Offbrand variant of Dire Consequences where Evan isn't even a ghost, he's just... like that.

Evan survived the Bite, and maybe William either kicked Mike out immediately (shitty) or found another place for him to stay for Evan's sake (actually kind of a normal response to that kind of situation), but they go a few years without seeing each other. Between the trauma of the Bite, the memory of how Michael treated him, being stuck alone with William for years, and personality alterations that sometimes happen with severe head injuries...

Evan is pretty dangerous when Mikey sees him again, without even knowing it. He's a living, human kid who kind of understands that he needs the basics (eating, sleeping, avoiding severe injury), but he doesn't connect that others need the same. The lack of ghostly powers might make him survivable, and there are possible happy-ish endings to this concept, but it could also go very wrong.

Honestly wondering how William would respond to Evan being Like That. William's main point of interest is what HE can do to others and the effects he can have on others (and how others can benefit him, aka the Immortality stuff), but he's gotta be curious about the severe change in personality and manner that Evan undergoes post-Bite and after Michael leaves. Thinking about a scenario where Evan is playing with another kid post-Bite, except Evan does things that are accidentally cruel, and William just. watches. curious. wanting to see how far Evan will take it, how far before the other kid will push back, how Evan will respond when the other kid does, etc etc. I wonder if Evan would treat William any differently, too. Does he hold any resentment that William wasn't there to stop Mike, or is he just grateful that William got Mike away from him in the end?

The story could also go several entirely different ways depending on whether William is still present when Ev and Mike reunite.

Do they reunite because Mike is finally allowed to come back home? What ways would William come up with to make both Ev and Mike's lives worse?

Does William end up getting springlocked, meaning Evan has nowhere else to go but with the person taking care of Mike (probably Henry tbh)? Does Mike still have that person supporting him as they try to understand what happened to Evan and help both Ev and Mike through it? Maybe the person starts considering whether Evan would be better off in a care ward surrounded by profressions 24/7 and Mike begs them to let Evan stay. Mike thinks it's his fault Evan is like this, and at least this way he can try to make sure that Evan doesn't do anything to hurt anyone for himself.

#god what if mike still grew up to try to fight william and free the souls #and he doesn't know that evan knew about the child murder thing the whole time and it contributed to evan growing #up to be like he is #imagine if evan knew some crucial piece of information that would allow mike to save the ghost kids #and evan just. refused to tell. purely because he doesn't understand how serious and scary and painful #the actual situation is. he just knows this gives him power over mike and he can mike do what he wants #so long as he doesn't give up the information #evan afton support center

[and-stir-the-stars]

stuff for A Nest Torn Empty's Bite (of 83) that i will never get the motivation to actually write for a chapter:

Gregory (and the rest of the Fazbears) were pretty pissed that Evan wasn't looking forward to his birthday because his party was being held somewhere he was fucking terrified of. Gregory literally begged Freddy to let them kidnap Evan for a day, and Freddy was inclined to agree but didn't because, you know, that's a crime or whatever. So, Gregory decided he would give Evan the BEST present ever for his birthday (what's the present? idk man. smth.)

Gregory was late to Evan's party because he was putting the finishing touches on his Perfect Gift.

Gregory is out of the car the second it comes to a stop and running inside Fredbear's. He gets inside before Freddy and Vanessa are even out of the car and looks around for his friend... only to see Evan being carried toward Fredbear by Mike and Friends.

Gregory races forward. The teens jump on stage with Evan. Gregory pushes through a crowd of people to get to the stage, dropping the gift in the process. The teens put Evan in Fredbear's mouth. Gregory jumps on stage, screaming death threats and punching and trying to shove Chica mask and Freddy mask away so he can get to Evan. Fredbear bites down. Warm blood splatters over them all. Fredbear waves and lifts its microphone closer to its mouth.

They're all frozen. Then, Mike drags Evan down. He shakes Evan's shoulders. "Wake up! This isn't funny! It's not funny! I'll kill you for this-- it's not funny-- wake up! Wake up, Evan! WAKE UP! Please... Evan?"

Gregory, meanwhile, is screaming for someone to get help. Everyone around him is frozen, though. Freddy and Vanessa are confused, horrified, disoriented when Gregory runs up to them covered in blood and tears and screaming for help.

Someone finally gets William. Evan gets put in the back of William's car, his head covered in towels and Mike's shirt and William's jacket/vest, and they race to the hospital.

The Fazbears cram into their car, too, following not far behind, not caring that they won't be allowed to see Evan when (please god please let it be when not if) he wakes up since they're not 'family.'

All of the Fazbears are emotionally shattered, but none more than Gregory.

"He was right to be scared of them," Gregory whispers when someone asks if he's okay. "...I think I'm scared of them, too."

#I don't know if vanessa would have the courage to go inside the hospital given her Trauma #I think she would that first day. Not after that tho. She visits evan #A few times after he wakes up but not as much as she'd like to #Also dunno if william like. Actually cares whether or not evan dies #Like he doesn't want to lose/ruin his property/reputation but does he? Actually care? #Or is he just riding off of adrenaline and the reminders of liz's death #I mean. I think he'd definitely care *in this moment* #But less so when evan like. Actually survives. #a nest torn empty #Tw blood #tw gore #tw body horror #Omg wait liz didn't die in this au... fuck i forgot o.0