#Who knows my doctor STILL hasn't gotten back to me on a date | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

italiansteebie · 1 year

Note

As someone who is disabled, I am obsessed with the idea of Steve Harrington in a wheelchair or using mobility aids. Maybe hurt/comfort with Steve feeling stuck? like out in public people will treat him like a baby and dote on him like he cant do anything at all. Also established steddie?? ->

ignore me if u dont like this prompt hshs

excuse you, this was an amazing prompt and I love it.

and I am a sucker for projecting onto Steve, so lets go.

---

Steve was always in pain nowadays.

In fact, it only got worse after the bats, and he figures the exertion after the fact didn't help. Before, he could always push through, hobble along and ice his aching joints when he got home.

Though, he couldn't ignore it after his legs would only stay strong for about ask hour before they collapsed under him. He remembers the first day it happened. He'd been at the grocery store, picking up dinner for his date with Eddie. (It was fairly new, but it was strong). He'd felt a bit weak before leaving, but as always he pushed through, ignoring the dizziness and pain.

It had only gotten worse as he walked through the grocery store, and all of a sudden, he was on the ground, and the grocery store patrons were staring at him, whispering things about the Harrington name and image. The store manager ended up having to call Eddie to come help him.

"Oh, Stevie..." He sighed. He'd been bugging Steve about seeing a doctor for months in fact ever since he was healed himself, he'd been pestering Steve to go to Owens and explain to him what was going on. But he hadn't, and now here they were, Eddie helping Steve into a wheelchair in front of a crowd of Hawkins shoppers.

Steve had been covering his face, and Eddie could almost feel the shame he was experiencing. He wanted to tell their audience off, to go away, to mind their business. But he knew that would only make it worse. So he stayed quiet, and so did Steve.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

So they didn't.

And they didn't after Steve saw Owens.

And they didn't after Steve was fitted for a wheelchair.

They just... Didn't.

Until Steve had fallen again.

At Mike's house, with just the kids, who weren't strong enough to help him back into his chair, with no help from his wobbling legs. So they called Eddie, and hid in the basement after Steve had yelled at them to go away, hot tears of embarrassment rolling down his face.

They were home now, and again, Steve was quiet. Eddie helped him get situated on the couch, legs still too wobbly to do it unassisted.

"Steve... Lets talk about it,"

Steves head snapped up, eyes shining, "You wanna talk about it? Fine! I'm fucking useless, my legs don't work and I can't fucking do anything by myself anymore! The kids barely look at me, Robs hasn't been able to hang out in weeks, and the rest of Hawkins thinks I'm a fucking charity case! Every time I leave the house it's like I'm a fucking zoo animal. I wish this had never fucking happened! I wish I wasn't-"

"Don't say that, Steve."

"It's true isn't it? Don't you hate having to come help me? God... I just- I'm so..." The sobs crawl their way out of his throat, and he can't stop them once they start.

"Steve..." Eddie rubs a comforting hand up and down Steve's back, pulling him closer to cradle him in his arms. Steve tucked his head into Eddie's neck, letting the tears roll freely down his face. "Steve, you have every right to feel that way but... I hope you know it's not true. The kids... It's just a different dynamic and I'm not supposed to tell you this but Robin has been working on a design of the back of your wheelchair, she wanted it to be a surprise and she was worried she spoil it." He hears Steve sniffle a sort of laugh. "And baby, you cared for me every single day for months while I was healing, what makes you think I hate helping you? I'm so glad I can finally make it up to you."

Steve lifts his head, looking Eddie in the eyes, "Really?"

"Really, Stevie."

He watches Steve smile, for what seemed like the first time since coming home from that doctors appointment. "Also, with all the extra arm work, your biceps look," He pauses to do a chefs kiss, "Fantastico! That's how you guys say it in Italy, right?" He smirks, and Steve bursts into a fit of giggles, tears drying on his cheeks as he shakes his head. "I love you, Eds."

They lean in for a soft kiss, it's slow and sweet, "I love you too, Steve."

209 notes · View notes

sapphiclizziebennet · 3 months

Text

things that are bad today list

The Tummy Problems Continue And They're Getting Weirder

i emailed my prof bc i missed class due to said ongoing health issue and instead of being like "oh that sucks take your time" she basically told me she was gonna fail me after four absences which granted is the school's absence policy BUT i have accommodations and i'm a senior based on credit hours so.....i know the attendance policy. how is your response to someone missing class for the first time due to a health issue that they can't control that you're gonna fail them if they miss four classes

my doctor hasn't gotten back to me about my blood test despite there being an alert on it. i even called the office but i am cursed to wait

the anxiety consumes me because i found out today that there actually is someone in my family who died of colon cancer and there is still a non-zero chance that that's what's going on with me

i want to eat and drink so bad but i just can't do anything. i feel so paralyzed and it's awful !! no work no eating no showering. just sitting and rotting and thinking.

i have so much work due this week that i think the stress is beginning to kill me slowly. in one instance, the prof i mentioned earlier put an earlier due date on an assignment than what was on the syllabus so i had to work at the speed of fast last night because i thought i had till next week. well turns out we're back to the original due date because people were begging her to give us longer

my therapy appt was a lot yesterday and a lot of talking about the Bad Things specifically my OCD so it's on my mind and i can't stop thinking about it

sad

#sarah why #cancer mention //#idk if that's a tag anyone has but just in case??

3 notes · View notes

rouge-variant · 2 years

Note

Hey! If it's okay to request this kind of story theme, can I request a canon levi who gaves himself up to be tortured just to protect his 9th month pregnant wife? In instance where they were both kidnapped and Levi surrendered to be tied up by his wrists with chains, shirtless, suspended, beaten- (with the line of "don't touch her and hurt me instead, I surrender!") while his wife is just unconscious but vulnerable? But then as Levi felt he's almost passing out, he was awoken by the cry of his pregnant wife whom is in a phase to give birth at a wrong time and place- luckily his Ackerman strenght and power awakens at the same time so he is able to break free from his chains, fight the bad guys, bring himself and his wife to the hospital. Happy ending please where Levi is already healed and his wife gave birth to healthy twin boys babies making them both very happy and safe, and I hope this is not confusing. Thank You :))

This is by far the longest story I've written. It was quite the interesting idea and I appreciate all the details. I'm pretty sure that I've gotten everything but if I missed something, let me know and I'll fix it immediately. I'm really sorry for the wait, this room way longer to write then I expected. Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!!!

Levi Ackerman x Reader: Adding it all Up

Trigger Warning: Due to the nature of this requests, there will be mentions and partial details of; abuse to Levi, pregnancy, childbirth, panic attacks, home invasion, blackmailing. Please keep this in mind while you read.

"Darling, why are you awake?" Levi rolled onto his side to face you. You gave him a tired smile and ran you hand over your stomach.

"Blame the kicking monster. They've been up for the past five minutes and haven't settled down yet" you hummed and he chuckled. He placed his hand next to yours and felt a stronger kick.

"Definitely my kid" he murmured and you playfully smacked the back of his head.

"Who's side are you on?" You huffed and he kisses your hand apologetically.

"Kicks, settle down" he muttered against your bump. Kicks was the nickname Levi dedicated to your growing child. Due to the Ackerman genes that they undoubtedly inherited, they had the same strength as their father and loves to constantly remind you of it.

Neither of you knew the gender. The doctor had found out but you requested to keep it a surprise. Something to look forward to. Unless there was something endangering you or Kicks, you both wanted to have a surprise in store after the delivery. Which was approuching soon.

You were reaching your due date. The baby was to be born anywhere around these next few days. Levi had gotten a leave from work, Erwin sent him away because;

A) Levi has been stressing about you, getting distracted, become to jumpy anytime anyone meantions your name.

B) Erwin doesn't want you to be alone if the baby decides to come when your home alone.

C) Erwin is a close friend to you both and just deemed this as necessary. And defentily not because he knew that he might end up stealing all the baby snuggles so he's giving Levi a bit of a headstart.

"Levi...you're lost in thought again. What's running through that mind of yours?" Your voice rings through his ears and he sits up, wrapping an arm around your back and bringing you as close as he could, minding your bump.

"Nothing important...this still hasn't quite hit me that this is real" he partly lies. Yes it's true that he can't believe that he has you, that he's going to have a family of him own blood, any day now. His other family, while he won't admit it out loud, consists of Hanji, Erwin and his squad. But this....this is something else.

The other thing he didn't meantion, was what also sparked an early leave for him. Thanks to some friends of Erwin's, they received notice of a group from Levi's past coming out to get him. After the events with the Military Police, Historia's crowning and the tragic events following Kenny's appearance again, someone wasn't happy. Threats and blackmailing were part of it and not that he was doubt his abilities but Levi wanted to be as close to you as possible if those thugs attempted anything.

"Are you sure that's all?" You pressed and he hummed.

"Yeah. Now please try and sleep again. Who knows when we'll be able to sleep peacefully once they're born" he helps you lie down again, still keeping you close with him.

"Good point. And I think you talking to them calmed them down" you murmur, holding one of Levi's hands wrapped around below your bump. He kisses your neck and you both mutter 'good night' before falling asleep again. Or at least you did.

Levi stayed awake. Not my choice since it was now past the timeframe where he would be able to sleep, as well as the unsettling feeling building in his gut.

One hour passed and nothing happened.

Two hours passed and still nothing.

Three hours passed and he found himself being separated from you. They intruders held a cloth against your mouth for a few seconds, the sickly sweet smell luring you into a deeper sleep. He must've dosed off at some point, otherwise this wouldn't have happen. But now, he watches helplessly as your wrists and ankles are tied together. They leave you slumped against the wall as two other thugs move closer to you.

Levi had cooperated poorly leading up to you being chained up. He had attended to fight the thugs off but they're were too ma y and he was constantly distracted by your wellbeing to be able to hold them off. So now he's on his knees, his nightshirt reduced to shreads that just barely sit on his fit body. The chains around his wrist are suspended from the support bean on the ceiling.

"Your quarrel is with me, not her"Levi growled but the leader grabbed his chin and forced him to look up.

"Smart boy, but we already know that little Ms. Ackerman is your weakness. You won't talk with having something worth the trade right?" Levi bit his tongue not to talk back. The larger man was right. He wasn't going to talk. Not unless you were at risk. The internal panic was hard to keep hidden. His family, his own family that he was finally going to have could easily perish right here, right now.

So he made a choice, one he knew he wouldn't regret, and lowered his head in submission.

"Don't touch her" he hissed. The large man crouched down to here him better.

"Speak up boy"

"I said don't touch her. Hurt me instead. I surrender" he glared dead in the eyes of the thug who let out a deep chuckle and let his men have their way with Levi.

Punches, kicks, whips and cuts were all handed to Levi. There was a strong smell of iron in your bedroom but Levi took them all with nothing less the occasional gasp or muffled groan of pain.

It was dark when the thugs broke in and now light filtered into the room.

"Alright boys, let's leave this surprise for Ms. Ackerman when she wakes up" the leader stopped his men the minute you started stirring. It was sick that they would make you experience this and Levi wanted to cover his arms and his back to avoid the shock and guilt that would be thrown at you the moment you woke up. But he couldn't. Everything was so heavy. His muscles wouldn't respond to the cry of his mind. He didn't want to be the first thing you saw when you woke up.

"Levi...?" Your voice was so fragile as it slurred. Eyelids slowly fluttering as they focused on him. He lowered his head, unable to see the fear and anxiety on your face as you saw his wounds. The sharp gasp and the muffled cry of his name was enough.

"Darling please don't look" his voice was rough and sore despite him not screaming nor crying all night.

"On the contrary, if you want your "Darling" to remain unharmed, I would tell her to keep watching" the boss's large hand held your head so you had to watch as the other thugs went back to attacking Levi.

"Levi! No please, please fight back. Please! Don't do this! Levi!!" You screamed and sobbed as you watched Levi not move at all, absorbing the attacks and giving up any fight. There wasn't a way out of this, not without you getting hurt so Levi concluded that this was the best option. Your screams hurt more than anything that the men could do to him and he wanted to look at you and lie that everything was going to be ok but he couldn't. The minute he would've looked at you, would've broken him.

The scene in front of you hurt you, it hurt mentally but soon it started hurting physically. Kicks must've sensed something was going on and gave you a firm reminder that they were still there. You groaned in pain and held your swollen bump between your contained wrists. Your eyes flickered away from Levi for a moment as you tried to calm them down.

"Shhh...we're ok baby, we're alright" you cooed quietly but it did nothing to ease the pressure building in your lower stomach. This added to your anxiety and you whimpered Levi's name.

"I'm scared Levi....I need you. You can't leave me. We need you" your sobs were weak now and your voice quivered. As another strong kick of pain hit your lower area, you knew what was happening. Out if all times too.

Your voice was fading for Levi. He barely heard anything but you saying his name. You grew quiet and he strained to see you. His head raised slightly and his eyes fluttered open. No longer slumped against the wall, but hunched over. The leader of the thugs held you so that you were still forced to watch Levi but the growing vein on his arm indicated that he was getting fed up with your whimpers and moans of pain.

"Screw the deal, you're annoying the hell outta me" he sees the thug lift his arm, ready to slap you and everything goes red. All noise is drowned by his hammering heartbeat, his noise only picks up on the smell of fresh iron and he feels nothing but the skin of human touching his hands.

He isn't sure how he ended up here but he was in the process of breaking the leader's arm when your broken cry rings clearly in his ear. You've moved back further, curling up into a ball and shaking in pain. Tears stream your beautiful face as your breathing comes out in choked gasps. You're scared, not of Levi, but of what's to come. Your home is on the outskirts of town, closer to Wall Sina then Wall Rose and you're not sure if Kicks will wait until your safe in a medical facility.

"Levi..." you whimper again and hee's immediately by your side, peppering your skin with little kisses and stroking your hair. His clean hand takes your trembling one, running his thumb over your knuckles. The chains around your body are broken.

"Talk to me, Darling. Look at me, we're ok right" his voice is soft and his strong front is there but his eyes jump to every part of you to ensure that you aren't injured at all. He knows from your crys what's happening with the baby but if you're hurt anywhere else, he won't risk endangering you further.

"J-just the baby. But I th-thought you were going to leave me" you cry again, now clutching his nightshirt. He hums and moves one arm under your legs, frowning when he feels the fabric of your nightdress wet.

"My wa-ater broke. I don't know when" you look up to him and he gives you a small nod and a quick peck on your forehead.

"That's alright. I just want you to count how long is in between each kick ok?" He wraps your arms around his neck and effortlessly rises to his feet, you safely held against him.

The early sun greeted you as he started walking with you into the small town near your home. Shopkeepers were setting up with booths and getting their morning shipments in before customers would be lining up. Most of them were too busy minding their own business, having to fit a busy schedule, so Levi was able to easily to walk through the streets. Your whimpers and groans were becoming more frequent as the time between each pain session or contraction, as you now thought of it, was shorter. This cause more panic to grow in you as you feared that you wouldn't end up making it to the hospital. By foot, you were at least an hour away, even with Levi's fast pace.

"Not so tense Darling, I'll figure this out. I need you to be strong right now. Just like when we're out fighting. I know your scared but we don't want Kicks to know right?" He glanced down at you briefly. Comforting definitely wasn't his strong suit but if he mentioned anything about the baby, your 'mom' mode would activate and help you gather yourself a bit more. Which is exactly what he needed right now.

"Y-yeah..." you nod, biting back another groan.

"Captain Levi!?" Someone ran up to you and you instantly recognized their voice. Alester, one of the soldiers in your sqaud, had seen Levi a block or so ago but didn't see you in his arms until now. His eyes looked down at you and he knew what was happening. He knew you were pregnant when you suddenly disappeared from HQ on "personal leave" since he overheard the conversation between you and Hanji.

Levi was about to open his mouth and tell the young man off but Alester beat him to it.

"My dad's just finished his morning supply round. He'll take you into town" he offered and Levi gave a quick nod, following towards the wagon. He placed you down gently then crawled in and sat ou up against him. Ot wasn't very comfortable but it was better than nothing.

The ride took fifteen minutes and was quiet other than the whispered praises Levi gave you for holding out this long. Your hair stuck to your forehead and your body trembled exhaustedly. The only think keeping you going, aside from the adrenaline, was the thought of meeting your baby soon. Levi was feeling the same, his back and arms hurt from earlier and he was drained from the bloodloss but all of that was not inpsortsnt at the moment. You witnessed men attacking Levi only then to go into labor and have the added stress of being nowhere near the hospital for your first birth. You were his priority. You and Kicks.

Upon arrival, Alester ran in to grab a doctor while Levi helped get you out of the wagon. Carrying you the same way as before and following the trail of nurses, setting up for your sudden arrival.

"Take care you two" Alester bid farewell quickly as you were taken to the delivery room and placed on a bed. The plushie texture did little to relieve the pain in your body but it at least made you relax a bit more.

"Captain, we can't have you in here" the doctor spoke up as he tried to push him out gently.

"Why the hell not?" Levi snapped and the doctor flinched a little. He shook his head but held his ground.

"You are not in your best condition. Your wounded and your agressive nature is setting off everyone else in the room" the doctor explained and Levi's jaw clenched. He didn't want to leave you like this. You needed him and he needed to make sure that you would be ok.

"Please sir. The longer I stand here, talking to you, the longer it takes me to help your wife" the doctor's voice was calm and patience, and Levi knew that he had to let this one go.

"You're going to do amazing Darling. I'll be waiting for you outside" he came over quickly, muttering this to you and pressing his forehand against yours. You nod, then he stood up and followed another nurse to tend to his injuries.

Six hours later, he was finally allowed back into the room. It took six hours before he was able to see you, lieing peacefully in the bed and holding a bundle if blankets. That's what he saw from the doorway of the room. He saw you, your tired eyes lighting up upon seeing him and the tip of the blanket containing your child.

"Hi" you greet with a giggle.

"Hey" he greets back, a mixture of excitment and nervousness evident in his eyes.

"Did you want to meet them?" You ask and giggle again as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Of course he wanted to meet them, what kind of question is that? But...didn't you already know the gender? Not that he was against that kind of stuff but your behavior set him off. He couldn't see the child because you had pillows to help prop up your tired arms. So once he was right at your side, he was able to see clearly what you had hidden.

In either of your arms, were two black haired, pink faced babies. One was passed out and the other had it's big steel eyes open and looking back at him. Yet another piece of proof that they carried the Ackerman gene.

"Twins, we have twins?" His voice was quiet and he looked at you to confirm.

"Yeah, we have two baby boys" you smiled brightly as tears made your eyes shine. Levi said nothing and instead rested his head against yours again. His family was finally here and it was bigger than he ever thought it would be.

"Thank you" he murdered, kissing your forehand before resting his against it again.

"Thank you for this. For giving me a family" his voice waved a little as he struggled to fight back his emotions. The doctors had left to give you two some room and bond all together.

"I'm so proud of you Darling. You were so strong" he praised you repeatedly as you nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck.

The younger Ackerman who was still awake, watched curiously at you two, eventually catching the eye of his father.

"Did you want to hold one?" You asked slowly, knowing that this was one of the thing Levi told you he was worried about.

"Y-yeah..." he nodded after a few moments of hesitation. He ran out to get one of the nurses to help. He learned quickly and soon enough, he was seated on the bed next to you, holding his youngest son against his chest. Their eyes met and at this point, Levi couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He was overwhelmed with joy of finally meeting his sons. He was relieved that the four of you made it out of the mess form earlier.

"Not so bad right?" you chimed softly and he looked at you and nodded. There you go again, taking care of him over yourself, despite the situations. It made him smile. It's not like you just pushed out two tiny humans a few moments ago or anything. And yet, he's the one who needs the most reassurance.

"They need names. We can't just keep calling them 'Thing One' and 'Thing Two'" you bring up and he looks down in thought. You guys discussed a few names during your pregnancy and he thinks back to them. You had a name that was very important to you that you wanted and he really liked it too. Part of him wanted to use the name of one of his fallen friends but it also brought back too many painful memories so he chose against it.

His head perked up at the sound of your voice and he saw you saying a bunch of different names to the boy in your arms.

"What are you doing?" He chuckled and you looked over.

"Letting him pick his name" you stated, as if it was obvious and went back to it.

Luke - a yawn

Tristan - a sneeze

Emmerson - distracted and drool

Finally you said the name of someone close to you and the baby gave a small toothless smile at you and that's how his name was picked. Levi did the same with the one he was holding and it only two him two attempts to get it. The nicknames chnsged slightly too. Your eldest son was still Kicks because that's what he did when he was excited. And your youngest was Pup. Bscause he was easily distracted, just like when a dog sees a squirrel.

Once they both were fed and asleep, Levi cuddled next to you in bed. You lazily traced little circles on his arms where the bandages were, silently asking how bad the damage was.

"A few scars and bruises, nothing too serious" he muttered. Neither of you talked about the incident other than that, not wanting to ruin the special moment. You leaned more into Levi as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

"I love you so much" Levi muttered and you smiled subconsciously as he stroked your cheek. He looked over to the two craddles.

"And I love you two just as much" he mutters quietly so that it doesn't wake them.

A few days past and Erwin came down to see you two. He got Levi's letter the day the kids were born and launched an investigation into why those people attacked you two and to ensure no one else attempted it again. Once the important things were discussed, he gave all the attention to the twins. He would hold the one you weren't holding at the moment which meant that Levi often read empty handed. He got fed up with it eventually and kicked the tall blond out who laughed at hid friend's antics.

Hanji came to see you guys once you had returned home and gotten the mess cleaned up. They had contained all of their energy and were much calmer around the tiny Ackermans. They were even hesitant to hold them and Levi was the one to persuade them into holding one. They were just too worried about upsetting the babies, though it quickly faded once they held one.

The rest of the sqaud had to wait two month, then Levi let then come and see. They were all over the moon to see two instead of just one. Armin and Sasha were the first to hold them since Levi had an undoubted favoritism to those two. And they were naturals at holding them. Eren and Miaksa were next and they both were a little awkward at first but soon got the hang of it. Connie and Jean were last and Jean had a similar reaction to Hanji. Connie had all the experiment needed and even helped to calm Kicks once he started crying.

The entire time, Levi watch and his heart fluttered with happiness. You had given him the life he never thought he would have. He had a family, one of his own blood and one of all his closest friends. You were there to help calm and guide him when things were uncertain and he couldn't have been grateful. You gave him the world and you felt the same way as you see your two sons playing with the their extended family.

#aot x reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x you #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot x y/n #levi ackerman fluff #drabbles #rouge thoughts

100 notes · View notes

skwigelfskwisgaar · 6 months

Text

He hadn't even gotten through the day when he received a call from a girl he never thought he'd talk to again. Her soft, mousy brown bob and sparkling blue eyes gave her such a cute appearance, but she was so feisty in personality.

"Hello? Skwisgaar? It's me, Tori. Remember me?"

"Hello! I, uh. It's weird you're calling because I was just thinking of you yesterday." A semi-lie, but one he wasn't about to admit ever. Even if he was drunk.

"Oh! How sweet, I stopped by yesterday. Had a great time with you and the Moroccan girl. I wanted to say goodbye, actually."

"Ah. So... you were here?"

"I figured I'd get one last time. Truly, I hope you know I wasn't joking when I said you ruined threesomes for me."

"Well, happy to see that hasn't changed."

"I... had stopped by to ask to talk. I got an amazing time instead but I did have your number saved." He paused. She deserved some closure, at least. He scowled. He hated this kind of stuff. This was why he didn't do relationships.

"Look. Remember our 4th date? You said that you liked Sweden."

"Ja, that hasn't changed. I still visit too." A lighthearted laugh came from the other end of the call. His stomach did a flip, remembering how fun and cute and caring she was. He missed that comfort.

"But... you always said you loved your band. I knew that Sweden was a passing fancy, and by extension, so was I. I just called to make my peace with it."

"Look, I'm sorry I left the way I did -!"

"No, Skwisgaar! It's fine! I was expecting it, actually. Your band showed up at the pub, and I knew that I wouldn't see you after that. Besides, after doing a quick search online, I... well. I have to say... I was hurt."

"...I don't understand you. Are you implying something?"

"You wanted normalcy. Sweden, Týr -- I gave that. But the reason you sought it, it wasn't because you wanted that. It's because you deluded yourself into thinking I was the 'normal version' of your friend, the cute brun - !"

"It is so important to my sanity and yours that you don't finish that sentence."

There was a long pause. So long in fact, that Skwisgaar thought she had hung up. He looked at the phone, seeing that she had probably given him a moment; he tended to take his time when he snapped at people, and he instantly felt embarrassed that he had behaved that way.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap like that." She didn't respond for another moment before his phone jingled. A video chat request. He accepted. It was the girl from yesterday who plagued his thoughts after that sweet kiss. His gut wrenched with guilt at realizing he didn't recognize her at all until the call today.

His ex girlfriend did visit.

And she gave him a tender kiss to haunt him with.

She had her cute little brown bob and sparkly blue eyes. He smiled almost instinctively to her, and she burst into a full smile. His chest felt aflutter, remembering the first time they locked eyes. She made him feel at home, it a weird way.

"Why are you so defensive about him?" Back to her inquistion. She always had a way of keeping the coversation on one topic for hours if need be.

"Did you call to say you psycho-analyzed me?"

"Well, partly. You did date me!"

Skwisgaar let out a scowl and a very loud, exasperated sigh. Of course she had. It had been her dream to get her doctorate in psychology when he met her.

"Look, Skwisgaar. This call was get closure. You keep reaching out for normal when you should be reaching out to your normal."

"And what is that for me, miss I-know-better-than-you?"

"It's Dr. Tori Skårsgard now."

"Okay, well. Congratulations, Dr. Tori. You're avoiding my question."

"No, you're avoiding the answer."

Skwisgaar felt a very familiar feeling of annoyance and exasperation rising in him. Why was it that every time he was asked to talk about himself, he got this combination of anxiety and annoyance? Was it just when he spoke to doctors? He didn't want his one and only ex girlfriend associated with the feeling of wanting to throw a tantrum so he trudged on in the conversation that frankly, he knew was going to come up at some point.

"Speak plainly. What is the answer?"

"We're both brunette, blue eyes. We seem to annoy you, based on your face there. I did try to say something, but you got very - !"

"Are you implying I dated you because you look like my co-worker, Tori?"

"Look, Skwisgaar. I'm not - !"

"Because I can assure you that I'm not attracted to him."

"It's not about being gay - is that really your concern?"

"No, my concern is that my ex is trying to tell me what my dick wants."

"It's not about that, it's about the fact that your henchmen brought me back from my flight back home - I was at the airport waiting - !"

"And what does that have to do with - !"

"It's lonely at the top!" Skwisgaar snapped his mouth shut, seeing his ex girlfriend scowl at him. He didn't notice the slowly growing annoyance in her features, her cute nose scrunched up and arms crossed. She looked pissed. Possibly because of the Klokateers trying to being her back so he could have fun with her again. He would have to give them raises later - finding her was probably no easy feat.

Then give them the boots, because that was entirely unnecessary of them to fetch her.

"You told me once that it was lonely at the top. But you've never let yourself see past your own stupid ego to see that you're not alone up there."

Skwisgaar was suddenly feeling like he needed to toss his phone out the window. This is what he gets, though, for having an ex-girlfriend. How the hell did Nathan do this?

"It's just - fuck. Skwisgaar, I'm just tired of this eating me up everytime I see your band stuff. I deserve closure, and my closure is having you admit that I was never going to be your equal in any space."

"You were never my equal. There."

"That includes admitting that you did this for your own selfish reasons. Even if it just happens to be a coincidence that I look like your coworker, I was never going to be good enough. If I was, I for damn sure was never going to suffice."

Skwisgaar had to subdue the urge to toss his phone.

"I did it for selfish reasons."

"Thank you."

"Why was it bothering you this much that you reached out to me?" Skwisgaar was hoping to turn the conversation around to her, since he was tired of being on the receiving end of these rather horrifying implications and questions.

"I... I 've been so upset with how it ended. I thought maybe... I thought you did care and I felt guilty becauseI didn't treat it, and you seriously. I feel - !"

"Would you like to try again?" Now it was her turn to snap her mouth shut. She looked confused and about all, offended. But as her eyes raked over the screen to see if he was serious, her face turned to one of suspicion.

"You're just asking me because you pity me."

"Maybe...I want to try normal again. You called me for closure. Let me find mine."

"You want to find closure by not ending ... us? Listen to yourself, Skwisgaar. You are not making sense. Find your happiness. It's not with me."

"You seem to think it's with my coworker... which it isn't by the way."

"Perhaps. Maybe it's with your band. Your friends and coworkers. Your found family?"

"...so is that a no?"

"I'm sure you're not used to rejection. But yes, I'm saying no."

"Not the first time I've gotten it, but it's the second time it's hurt."

"I'm sorry. For what it's worth, Skwisgaar, I'm never going to look at reclining chairs the same way, or hair ties, even the flannel you wore - !"

"I get it, Tori. I blew your mind."

She let out a bubbly giggle, her face tinged red. He smiled back at her. Maybe having an ex wasn't so bad.

"You're not alone at the top, you just didn't see the rest of your friends up there."

"I get it. I'm not meant to be normal."

"But it doesn't mean you can't enjoy normal things too."

#skwisgaar rp blog #rp blog #skwigelf talks

6 notes · View notes

deadmomjokes · 1 year

Note

Hope you're doing well with all the hectic life stuff you mentioned! How is everyone doing, and how was the conference?

Thank you so much for checking in! It means a whole lot to me (especially because we ended up getting forgotten by quite a few folks irl who had said they'd come by to help with stuff 🙃)

It's going better now that the conference is over. Not to say that the conference was bad. It was actually really great. I got excellent guidance on writing an official query letter, I did very well on my presentation and panels, I had fun, I learned stuff, and- biggest news of all- I did 3 pitch sessions for a manuscript and all three were enthusiastic about it and asked for partials!

The not so great news that comes from that is that I'm kind of in the middle of rewriting the thing, so now I'm racing the clock, hoping that I can finish the rewrite before someone comes back requesting the full. And lemme tell ya, it needed the rewrite. So it's not like I can hand them the old version if I want any chance of actually landing a contract. So stress is still ongoing, but it's good stress in a way, I guess?

But! My husband feels great and is basically just waiting for doctor's permission to resume normal activities. He was up and walking the day after surgery, and the pain it was meant to remedy is totally gone. So it was a massive success! He's still barred from lifting, bending, and twisting at least through the end of March, as far as we know; he goes back on Monday for the doc to do a follow up, and we'll get more info about it then.

Our daughter has decided to spontaneously potty train herself after watching a younger friend who is just learning to use the potty, which is a total shocker to us. Welcome, but absolutely out of left field. One of the things she's been in therapy for is her panic and terror about the potty, and she just... decided. It's so weird. Great weird, but weird. (I'll take it tho.)

But, unfortunately, the saga of trying to figure out her stomach issues hasn't been going great. We had her appointment and they wanted an endoscopy, right? Told us that the scheduling department would be in touch within 2 weeks. After two weeks had gone by, I called them, played switchboard transfer tag, and eventually found out that the doctor had never put the order in. The people we were talking to who found that out for us helped get it put on the doctor's priority list so it would officially go to scheduling, and then said they'd try to get us bumped up the waitlist since we should have been scheduled already based on initial appointment date. Only nope, turns out they couldn't do that because of how the system works, gotta wait another two weeks. Meanwhile, mind you, she's not allowed to take the medicine that actually helps control the symptoms, so she's a hungry, tired, cranky, pained mess. So two weeks later, I call them back because- big surprise- no word yet. They said they see the order, but scheduling just hasn't gotten around to it yet. They flag it for immediate attention. Two days later, I get the call to schedule it, and due to the fact that she had a cold recently, they wouldn't get her in any sooner than a full month after the last symptoms. Now you know a cough can linger for ages after you stop being contagious, particularly in a high-pollution, cold, low-humidity environment, which is where we live. But policy is policy.

So all that comes out to the fact that unless she gets sick again, her endoscopy is the week of St. Patrick's Day, and after that she can go back on the meds that helped best while they compile the results. At that point, assuming it confirms what we all think it is, we get referred to the nutritionist and start the arduous task of elimination-diet-ing a child who exclusively lives on bagels and cream cheese. She's not gonna be happy. Nobody's gonna be happy. But it'll be what it is, and it'll help her in the long run.

All in all, life is still crazy, and I'm totally losing my mind some days, but it's not quite as crazy and mind-lose-y as it was. Which is progress!

#life #personal #asks

8 notes · View notes

luckybyler · 2 years

Text

Harsh truth time: Assuming neither Hopper nor Jonathan is homophobic, it would be unrealistic for them to hate the idea of Will dating Mike.

It doesn't seem harsh, but the reasoning is. Memes about Hopper frustrated that Mike dates another one of his children are fun, and the Mike Hate Squad of Hopper, Jonathan and Max has gotten a chuckle or two from me, but in reality that wouldn't be the case, at least for the former two.

The same person can mean different things to different people. As El's boyfriend, Mike is some annoying kid constantly making out with Hopper's 13/14 year-old daughter who hasn't even had a chance to see the world and get a notion of herself as a person. Hopper doesn't even hate Mike, but he's annoyed by him. However, as Will's boyfriend not only they wouldn't hate him, but "he's dating Mike" is the part that they would be the least worried about, if not relieved by.

This is a cliché by now, but: this is the 80's in small town, Indiana. Back then and there, if your kid, especially your son, told you he was gay, you pictured him moving alone to the Big City as soon as he turned 18, going to the seediest part of its dark underbelly, mingling with all sorts of predators and weirdos and having sex with the whole city including tourists until he caught AIDS and died a painful death or was killed. I'm sorry to be so crude, but that was the image portrayed on tv even in the 90's. In 1987, princess Diana made worldwide headlines by shaking hands with an AIDS patient without gloves. The first antiretroviral drugs appeared in 1996 (as per the article). The murder of Scott Amedure happened in 1995. The murderer was acquitted of first-degree murder and instead found guilty of second-degree murder after using the "gay panic" defense. The man is now free. In summary, being gay = being in grave danger (see why I headcanon them as quietly being in a relationship instead of coming out to everyone?)

Between having their stepson/brother figuratively get thrown like fresh meat to the sharks and having him be in a relationship with his lifelong best friend who they found kinda annoying sometimes, I think we can all guess what situation Hopper and Jonathan would prefer. They and Joyce know Mike since he was little, they know he's always cared about Will and had his best interest in mind. Hopper has even trusted Mike with Will's life at least once:

Remember when Will was possessed and rabid and Mike, who was there at the uber-classified lab, told the doctors/scientists that they needed to sedate him, and then they did? That's the level of trust, say and "authority" (for lack of a better word) he has.

And the other way around as well: While Karen will probably be accepting like Joyce (and I think they have already talked with each other about the matter extensively even when Mike and Will are still in the process of figuring things out)), Ted will probably think that "that damn kid turned my son gay" and won't be happy about it. However, he (perhaps after a talk from his wife and Hopper) will reluctantly grin and bear it because, again, they've known Will since he was in preschool and know he's a harmless, well-behaved kid and they will keep each other safe from the real or perceived dangers of the gay single life. It would also be easier for Ted to look the other way and pretend they decided to make celibacy vows to one another and spend the rest of their lives being celibate dorks together.

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #jim hopper #jonathan byers #joyce byers #karen wheeler #ted wheeler

11 notes · View notes

niawritess · 3 years

Text

The Lovestruck~Chapter 10

(4 December Saturday)

10:23 am

"So how was your date?"

You glanced at your bestfriend confused by her sudden question. "Date?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yesterday, you and Baekhyun Sunbae went to date, right?"

You brows knitted. "That wasn't a date."

"Why? It was only you and Baekhyun Sunbae tho." She smirked and you rolled your eyes.

"Shut up, that's because Rose couldn't come. Now stop with your nonsense and look ahead." You pointed your chin towards the stage where the rehearsal was going on.

Ria groaned rolling her eyes. "I don't want to look at her! She's showing off her boyfriend more than acting."

You laughed. "Then get a boyfriend for yourself."

"Ha ha! So funny!" She scoffed. "Like it's so easy but you're gonna get it soon."

"What?" Your frowned confusingly as you looked at her to see her smiling mischievously before you realized what was she talking about.

You slapped her arm and glared at her. "I told you not have any weird thoughts about it!"

"What? I didn't even said anything!" She shrugged her shoulders and you shook your head ahead before she giggled at your flustered state.

Later, as you were about to walk out of your campus, you got a call from your brother's school, informing you that daniel has got injured during his basketball game practice and asked to pick him up.

You panicked at first but fortunately he didn't got injured badly and you got relieved before making your way to his school while texting Ria about it.

***

12:56 pm

Arriving at his school, you went straight to the infirmary and saw your brother sitting on the bed with his foot bandaged talking to her classmate which you assumed.

"Good afternoon." You greeted the doctor who was typing on her laptop looked up at you before giving you a polite smile and Daniel did the same.

"You must be Daniel's sister whom i talked to earlier?" She asked and you nodded before she stood up from her chair making her way to Daniel's bed while you following her.

"Is he okay? Is it bad?" You questioned worringly eyeing his bandaged foot and the doctor chuckled.

"Don't worry, he sprained his foot but it will be fine within two or three days after giving it a rest." She explained and you nodded relieved.

"Then can I take him with me now?"

"Yes, I have gave him the pain killer so you can take him."

"Okay, Thank you." You smiled at her and she nodded going back to her desk before you helped Daniel standing up and led him outside.

"Daniel! Your bag!" A girl shouted from the back as you both were walking down the hallway before she approached you and handed him the bag.

"Hello. I'm Daniel's friend, Kim jieun." She grinned and you smiled back before glancing at your brother who's cheeks were a little red as he stared at her making your jaw dropped internally.

She quickly bid her goodbye as she got called by the teacher and you both walked out of the school then back to your home.

Reaching home, you helped Daniel into his room and giving him time to change his uniform before something popped into your mind.

You fished out your phone and opened your contacts searching Baekhyun's number but then you realized that you don't have his number and texted rose instead, asking her if you could take a day off while telling her the reason.

After receiving her text saying yes, you smiled but then you tilted your head to the side confused as why Baekhyun popped up in your head when you don't even have his number. You thoughts got interrupted when your brother called you from his room loudly enough to make you startle and you groaned walking into his room with a thud.

Meanwhile, Baekhyun entered the Cafés as usual before a frown crept on his face as he didn't see you but then shrugged it off thinking you would come later.

Thirty minutes passed, but you still were not here causing him get confused and at last he asked Rose about it then got to know the reason behind your absence.

When she told him about Daniel, he got worried as he has gotten close to him but was also a little bit sad that you didn't tell him, he knows he shouldn't be feeling like this but he couldn't help it.

His day was passing slowly that's what he thought and was feeling lonely too since you were not here beside him so he could talk to you which got him confused as it wasn't the first time you took a day off but it was the first time he was feeling this way.

***

Next day (5 December)

2:24 pm

Time flew by fast with all the hectic day you had in college and now were on your way to the café. Entering the Café, you spotted Rose and Baekhyun behind the counter before smiling as you approached them.

"Good afternoon, Rose!" You greeted her as you stood by the counter causing Baekhyun's head jolted towards you and his face lit up but he immediately masked it with his normal facial expression.

"Hey! You're here and how is Daniel?" She asked.

"He is alright. His foot is getting better now." You replied, walking inside the kitchen to wear your apron and came back before standing behind the counter.

"Hey." You smiled at Baekhyun and he smiled back which didn't reached his eyes like how he always smile which got you frowned wondering if he's in a bad mood and shrugged it off.

However, the whole day he was being the same, giving you a nod or hum if you were asking something. He didn't really talked which led you think if he is mad at you but you haven't done anything wrong which you could think about.

You wouldn't admit it but you got a little bit sad with his sudden cold behavior but didn't let it get to you, thinking he's just in a bad mood and without you even realizing it was already closing time.

Rose closed the café and drove off to her home before bidding goodbye to both of you. Now Baekhyun and you were standing beside eachother in silence which you were hating and hence decided to break it.

"Sunbae?" You called him out and he looked at you as he was facing ahead. "Are you upset with me or something?"

"What?"

"I don't know what happened but you didn't talked to me like you do today, have I done something wrong?"

Baekhyun looked at you with wistful eyes and bit his lips before looking away while letting out a exhasperated sigh. He doesn't even know why he is feeling like this and now he's feeling apologetic towards you by his behavior.

"I'm sorry, it's just today I was kind of in a bad mood." He explained and you nodded in understanding while feeling relieved.

"Honestly," He started making you look at him. "When you didn't called me, I mean about Daniel like we have gotten close you know, I kind of got a little sad as I thought we became friends or is it just me who thinks that?"

"No! We are." You immediately replied and his eyes lit up before you scratched the side of your neck. "The thing is, I also wanted to tell you but then I realized I don't have your number."

Realization hit Baekhyun and he closed his eyes turning his head opposite direction of you, feeling embarrassed before looking back at you and you both stared at each other before chuckling.

He suddenly held out his palm towards you and you stared at it perplexed before glancing back at him then at his hand and high-fived it.

He looked at you incredulously before shaking his head. "I meant your phone."

"Oh." You bit your lip smiling sheepishly before fishing out your phone and gave him.

He typed something and gave it back before his phone started ringing and picking it up he saved your contact.

"Baekhyun."You mused looking at the name as he has saved his number as in your phone and he smiled at how his name rolled off your tongue.

"Yes, Baekhyun. I know you would have saved it as Baekhyun Sunbae and its too formal to save a friend's name like that." He explained and you smiled as he was right.

"Then what did you saved my name as?"

He held up his phone showing your contact info with your name written as 'Coffee bean'.

"Seriously? Coffee bean?" You frowned and he giggled causing you smile automatically before a thought crossed your mind.

"Wait, so were you sulking about it the whole day?" You looked at him amused and he blinked feeling heat rushing to his ear.

"No, I wasn't." He looked away feeling embarrassed and you smiled finding him cute before looking at your watch.

"I have to go now, Daniel must be waiting for me."

"Okay, i'll walk you home today since Daniel won't be coming."

"No, it's okay. I can go by myself." You refused not wanting to bother him and he looked unsure to send you alone which you noticed.

"I have been coming back and forth alone for a while so, it's fine." You assured him hoping he wouldn't insist anymore and he he didn't.

"Alright, but text me when you get home." He ordered and you almost laughed feeling as your dad was ordering you before nodding.

"You too, go home safely."

He nodded still hesitating before you walked away from him while he was still standing there watching your figure disappearing in the street.

Not long before, he walked over his car and got in before starting the engine while on the way his phone buzzed and taking his phone out, he checked the caller ID showing 'Coffee bean' which made his lips stretched in a smile.

However, his smiley face turned into a frown as it hasn't been even five minutes since you both parted ways and you couldn't have reached home in that short time.

As he answered the call, he couldn't even utter a word when he heard your shaky voice. "Someone is following me."

He immediately pressed the brake vigorously bringing his car come to halt with a jerk before comprehending your words. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

You bit your lip feeling scared as you can hear the footsteps behind you getting closer causing you walk more faster and heart beat increasing rapidly before you pressed your phone more close to your ear.

"Um, I'm close to my home but he- he is still following me." You stuttered breathing heavly making Baekhyun more worried and scared as he was already, before he started the engine coming over to you.

You brought your hand to your bagback which was hanging on your shoulder before reaching out and took out the paper spray while ready to kick the stalker.

"Y/n!"

You heard a familiar voice calling you out and tilted your head to see Jenna coming out of the convenience store walking towards you making you relieved as you rushed towards her.

"I'm safe now." You told Baekhyun who was about to make a U turn but sighed in relief before stopping his engine.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm with my neighborhood aunt."

"Okay, text me when you reach home."

After hearing your reply, he hung up and leaned his head against his seat while closing his eyes before exhaling deeply making his heart steady which was beating fast till now.

Never in the dreams, he imagined that his heart would be at the verge of jumping out because of a girl. He has never got this scared and this relieved before you entered his life. What were you doing to him? That was the thing he wondered before driving off to his home.

On the other hand, the man which you thought was stalker turned out Jenna's husband Alaric who was coming back from the walk.

"Seriously! Alaric, you scared me!" You complained calming your heart and Jenna slapped his arm before side hugging you while he scratched his back apologetically.

"Did I scared you? I'm sorry." He patted your head and you sighed.

"I was about to spray the paper spray on you." You told him making both of their eyes widen before you three walked towards your house as their house is opposite of yours.

Reaching home, you bid goodnight to them before walking inside and saw your brother in the living room playing video game. You rushed towards him and threw your arms around him and he flinched with your sudden act before you pulled away sitting straight.

"Did something happen?" He asked pausing his game before staring at you concerned and you shook your head not wanting him to worry.

"Nothing, I just miss mum." You replied honestly what you were feeling right now and he nodded sighing.

"Then call her."

"Eung, i'll wash up first and will make dinner." You stood up and ran upstairs to your room.

You entered your room before throwing your bag on the bed with yourself with a deep sigh swinging your legs side slowly before you grabbed your phone and texted Baekhyun.

You: I've reached home and sorry for troubling you.

Not getting a reply, you assumed he's busy so you got up and walked towards your bathroom to change and freshen up.

Baekhyun got out of his washroom in his pajamas after washing up and hung his towel around his neck before walking towards his bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

Unlocking it, he saw your message on the notification bar and checked it before replying.

Baekhyun: No you didn't. You sure you are okay?

He was waiting for your reply but getting a voice from downstairs calling his name, he placed his phone on the bed and walked out of his room.

***

11:48 pm

You were lying on your bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about earlier which made you shiver. Although it wasn't a stalker but the scary feeling you had that time was still there, not letting you sleep as it kept appearing in your mind.

"Should I watch something to distract myself?" You muttered before grabbing your phone from nightstand and was about to play a drama but got interrupted as you got a text from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun: Are you asleep?

You: No, why?

Baekhyun: I texted you but you didn't replied so I was worried.

You frowned before scrolling up a little to see his message and immediately replied him.

You: I'm sorry I was busy so couldn't check it.

Baekhyun: I texted you but you didn't replied so I was worried.

You frowned before scrolling up a little to see his message and immediately replied him.

You: I'm sorry I was busy so couldn't check it.

Baekhyun: No problem, but do you often sleep late?

You: No, I sleep early but I can't right now.

He didn't reply making you frown and you almost assumed that he fell asleep or something but then his text appeared.

Baekhyun: Can I call you?

You blinked immediately sitting up before leaning against the headboard while contemplating what to reply as you're more of a text person.

On the other hand, Baekhyun bit his lip tapping his phone with his fingers wondering if he scared you or something before you texted back.

Coffee bean: Sure.

A smile made his way to his lips before you instantly got a call from him making you jump as you cleared your throat and answered the call while placing your phone to your ear but didn't said anything.

[Hello? Y/n, Are you there?]

[Uh, yeah sorry.]

[If you're not feeling comfortable, we can just text.]

You smiled. [No, it's okay.]

Baekhyun hummed leaning against the headboard. [Are you feeling better? You must have been scared.]

[Yes, I was and whenever I'm scared or something I always talk to mum but she isn't here.]

["Oh, I'm sorry.]

You frowned as his voice sounded a little sad before your eyes widened.

[What are you thinking? She's in scotland with my dad.]

Baekhyun sat up feeling embarrassed. [I'm so sorry, i thought-]

You chuckled. [It's alright.]

He smiled. [Well, at least you laughed, but you have to be careful now and did you told Daniel?]

You sighed. [No, he would feel guilty then and don't worry I carry pepper spray with me which I almost sprayed it on a innocent person.]

[Innocent person?]

[He wasn't stalker but my neighbor and I can't believe this happened second time.]

You mumbled the last sentence which was loud enough for him to hear.

[The stalker thing?] Baekhyun asked worringly.

[No, no. Actually I was on a family trip and there I felt someone following me and I sprayed the pepper spray on him but turns out he was the manager of the guest house we were staying in.]

You heard his laughter on the other side causing you roll your eyes before you lay down comfortably.

[Then what happened?]

[I got scolded by my parents and apologized to him but the whole week he stayed away from me.]

He chuckled. [Well that's how you are.]

[What do you mean?]

[Don't you remember that man at the Café? You totally scared him away.]

You bit your lip feeling embarrassed and heard his chuckle making you automatically smile. You both talked for minutes without even knowing and felt yourself getting sleepy as you let out a yawn while feeling your eyelids heavy.

["Y/n?]

Baekhyun called you but didn't got response but instead heard your soft snores from other side causing his lips stretched in a smile and cut the call before whispering softly.

"Good night, Coffee bean."

_____________

@wooya1224 @buttercupbbh

#bbh #exo fanfiction #exo ff #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun gifs #baekhyun imagines #baekhyun #baekhyun x reader

21 notes · View notes

sardonicnihilism · 3 years

Text

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5 The Older Woman

Chapter 5

The rest of 2018 and 2019 passed in fairly unremarkable fashion. The kids kept seeing the counselor, Jerry's behavior and grades improved until he was one of his grades top students. Tabatha, likewise, did extremely well academically. Jerry joined the school soccer team and took up violin, and Tabatha took up piano, guitar, and drums. While life continued with its normal ups and downs, it really did seem like the worst was behind them.

Even when 2020 hit like a meteor, it still didn't affect Shannon and her family that much. Both Sam and Shannon were deemed essential workers, and therefore kept their jobs. The schools shut down, but Shannon did home lessons over the summer and the kids did remote learning in the fall. Jerry struggled, having a hard time staying focused, but Tabatha did exceptionally well.

It was November when things started to go to Hell for them personally. Shannon started noticing a pain in her right chest and shoulder. It would constantly ache, and if she moved too fast, bolts of sharp, white hot pain would shoot through her body. At first she thought it was just muscle strain from lifting too much (she had gotten back into weight training to lose weight), but when she had taken a week off and there was no improvement, she knew she had to see a doctor.

Here appointment was in December, the week after Christmas. The doctor checked her out and then chewed her out. She was 47 years old and had never had a mammogram. Shannon reluctantly agreed to have one and her doctor made the appointment.

Shannon got her mammogram the second week of January at 8:50 AM. By 3:30 PM, she had three messages saying she should contact them immediately. Shannon had breast cancer. More than that, it had already spread to other parts of her body. After a consultation with the entire family, they decided on an aggressive treatment plan. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Shannon's health declined rapidly. Most of her hair fell out and she shrank from 252 pounds to 110. She was week and tired all the time. She mostly laid in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom; usually to vomit. It was decided that she would enter the hospital for her final days.

Sam would visit everyday. At first he brought the kids with him every time, then every other day, and then they would only come once a week on Sundays. By the end of April, it was clear it was only a matter of days.

Sam's last visit was on a Sunday. It was a perfect spring day. It was so warm and sunny that it made Sam angry. It seemed like a cosmic insult to everything he and Shannon were going through. However, he had managed to purge himself of his bitterness by the time he had gotten to Shannon's room.

She was staring out the window, a contemplative smile gracing her gaunt face. Her hands were folded in her lap and she looked almost transcendent.

"How's the most beautiful woman in the world doing today?" he asked with forced happiness as he entered her room.

Shannon turned to him and smiled as happy a smile as she could. "I don't know. I haven't seen her today," she joked back in her weak, hoarse voice.

Sam grabbed a chair and sat beside her. "How're you sweetie?" he asked with a hushed sadness.

"I'm ok. Best as possible I suppose. I was just thinking I beat mom by a month. She passed in April, I made it all the way to May. Of course she beats me on years though." Shannon's sense of gallows humor was not only still there, but had become stronger than ever.

"I tried to get the kids to come out, but they just couldn't," Sam said apologetically.

Shannon just waved her hand. "It's ok, my family never did do death well."

She turned back to the window and started talking as much to herself as to Sam. "I was going to ask you to make a recording of me saying my farewells to the kids, but then I thought if I really wanted this to be the last and forever image of me; a sad, shriveled up husk of a human being - an image of sadness and loss? That just seems too cruel. I'd rather be forgotten if that is the case."

"You'll never be forgotten," Sam tried to reassure her.

She turned back to him, smiling even more. "We're all forgotten eventually darling." She then reached out and took his hand. "It's been a life, hasn't it?"

"It sure has," he said, trying to smile, but tears were already starting to run down his cheek. "And I thank you for being the love of mine."

"As you are with mine," she said in a peaceful voice.

"No, you don't have to say that. You don't have to pretend." He shook his head as he spoke. He didn't want their potentially last moments to be filled with lies.

"Who's pretending?" Shannon said, sounding almost happy, like he had just told her a joke. "What? You think because I'm not romantically or sexualy attracted to you, that means you're not the love of my life? People put so much emphasis on romantic love. Darling, you were far more than a lover. Being a lover is easy. You were a friend." She then brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it.

Sam was now weeping heavily. "The first time I met you in the library, I knew I loved you," he choked out.

"When I was a little girl, I asked my grandfather why he kept the dogs outside. He said because animals don't belong in the house. That night, my biological mother, left me in her car while she went into the bar. I was alone, freezing. I wondered if maybe I was an animal and that's why I was being left alone.

"My entire life I felt alone, unloved, unlovable. I was angry and bitter and I hurt anyone or thing I could so they would feel what I felt. I caused so much pain.

"Then I met Jen and I thought I found love. I loved her and I thought she loved me, but she only loved what she thought I was. When I turned out not to be that, she turned her back on me and I went off the deep end.

"And then there was you. You made me laugh. I could talk to you about anything. I felt safe around you; not physically, but emotionally. I became a better person because of you.

"Even when I came out to you, you didn't turn me away, throw me out, which I would have understood if you did. You never stopped being my rock, my shoulder to cry on, the clown to make me laugh when I was crying. You never stopped being my friend."

"And I never will," Sam barely choked out.

"And that is why you're the love of my life."

Sam got up and they embraced. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and she gave him one the cheek. They spent the next five hours just reminiscening and joking.

"I better get going, I suppose," Sam said reluctantly. "I can't leave the kids alone all day, but I don't want to leave you alone either. Not to die at least."

"We all die alone honey, even if we're surrounded by people," she said with a smile. "Go. You're a father and your kids need you. I'm already dead. The only thing the dead need is rest. Just, just tell the kids I love them."

"Always," he said tearfully.

A couple hours after he left, she began to feel really tired, her fingers and toes started going numb. She knew the time had come.

She started thinking about tombstones. A name, a dash, and another date. Everything she was, everything she had been, reduced to a small line, carved in a stone that would survive long after she had been forgotten. It seemed unfair, cruel even.

She then thought about something else, something she had learned back in college. She thought about quantum entanglement, how two atoms can become entangled, linked forever across time and space, eternal mirrors to each other.

Her mind then darted to the concept of the multiverse. How there might be infinite universes out, each with their own version of her. What if two versions could be linked somehow? Entangled? What if her mirror was out there? Could she reach her? Could her mind link across dimensions to one of her other selves to share her story?

*Please, please, if can hear me, please tell my story. Please don't let me be forgotten!*, she thought over and over to herself, trying to reach out to anyone who might hear until her brain ceased to function and she passed away.

**************************************

Shannon Brown was born on November 22, 1975 to a single, alcoholic mother. He was taken in by his grandparents and his aunt Mary who raised him as her own. It is Mary who he considers to be his real mother. His biological mother, Kathy, would have two other children, a girl named Tracy (1977) and Paul Jr. (1979).

By about 4 or 5, Shannon knew that he wasn't a he, but a she, but having no language to express this, she kept this to herself. Shannon grew up alone, morbidly obese for most of her life, she never really had any friends and was constantly bullied and picked on. This made her angry and she would often act out in horrible and usually, self destructive ways.

She did manage to lose weight and was thin from 19 to 24. It was at this time she met her future wife, Samantha Hopwood online. Samantha, an Australian citizen, eventually moved to the United States and they got married in 2001. In 2009, their first child, Joshua was born.

It was after that, Shannon came out to Samantha as transgender. It caused a lot of pain and anger in their marriage, but they were able to work through some of it so that they had their second child, Tara, in 2011. In 2020, after years of being partially closeted, Shannon came out to everyone on Facebook (much to the horror of her wife).

It was about this time that Shannon discovered an app called FaceApp. It could change your photo to look like a child, old person, even the opposite physical gender. Shannon took a picture of herself, femininized it, and then took that new picture and reaged it from a little girl to an old woman. As Shannon stared at the pictures, she couldn't help but marvel over how real they looked! These looked like real pictures of an actual person.

"Who are you?" she said to herself. "Who are you, what is your story?" The more she stared at the pictures, the more she could almost hear this stranger call out, "Please, please, tell my story." It was then Shannon knew what she had to do. She opened her Tumblr app, hit the write symbol, and began-

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 1: The Girl

Chapter 1

*This story is dedicated to the memory of H.P. Lovecraft; a horrible man, but great world builder. This wouldn't exist without him.*

#fiction #dark #drama #queer stories #slice of life #sad #fantasy #lovecraft

2 notes · View notes

rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 4 years

Text

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (4/?)

A/N: Not only is this a long chapter, but I found a way to incorporate a prompt given to me by @hoodoo12 almost two years ago I think. Also, @twenties-sweetheart I incorporated what led the reader and Zeta-7 dating. This fic is almost done. I think there's only one or two chapters left. Hope you guys enjoy!

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

_________

Chapter 4 : Your Answer

You remembered when you didn't love him; a time when you had hoped he'd be a father figure and a friend who you could play card games with on Tuesdays. You used to not know him; though once you did there was no turning back. You used to not need him, but you didn't know how you couldn't. It used to be a simple crush, but he already loved you from the start.

Perhaps, you had always known, but you didn't want to see it; you had wanted to know, but your brain at times didn't want to believe it. You thought words like his were meant for fairy princesses who lived in high towers above the heavens, for royals and the knights who attended to them; for anyone else….except you. It just didn't seem possible that this man could want you, but he did and explained for the last half hour as to why.

“That’s...that’s amazing!” you exclaimed despite yourself. “You really feel that way about me?”

He nodded, his face still flushed. “I do...I-I-I love you. Do you,” he gulped. “do y-you love me?”

Of course you did, you had said so a few times already, but he was going to need a better explanation; to be reminded continually. You screwed your mouth to the side, wondering how you could put it delicately. “Well…there's too much to say, and I know it would never be enough, but I can try. Oh, and if I start to wax poetic, then let's just say it's the writer in me trying to get out. Ricardo,” you paused, encouraging him to sit down because the poor man looked ready to shake out of his skin. “what I feel is beyond love; it's our souls dancing and singing in the night, moonlit kisses, and disappearing during daybreak. Why it's not even serendipitous, but a luxurious splendor you shower me in, day in and day out, with breaks which threaten to tear me into bits and madden me. It's an adventure," he perked up at this; it was familiar territory. "with discoveries and revelations that nip at my inward parts, and pains me with equal parts desperation, fear, and gladness." Caressing his lips with your fingertips, he sighed happily." You fill my mouth with bliss, working peace along the curve of my cheek, and color my world with mystical, intelligent sayings. Ineffable creature, your veracity; how you express yourself so honestly, I'm surprised the whole world hasn't fallen in love with you. Though, I'm glad you reserved yourself just for me.”

Placing a kiss behind his ear, he made a funny noise, but you continued. “To say I love you my dear Zeta-7 isn't enough, for you are as much of myself as I am of you. Like I've said before, I'll remind you as much as you need me to.”

“H-h-h-h-how do you know? When - when was it that y-y-you started to see me differently?”

The question really struck you as odd considering it wasn't in any of his usual tones; he had seemed so sure of himself earlier, and now self-doubt peaked it's little head out. It was solemn, in a faraway voice, followed by a frown, and the deepening of the lines in his forehead. You stood up, seeing as he seemed upset, and he took this opportunity to go and make some tea; it was one of his coping mechanisms. Soon the scent of lavender filled the house; he returned and set down the cups carefully so as not to spill it.

“Oh,” he frowned; a bit tired from the emotional rollercoaster he had been in for most of the day. “I'm s-s-so sorry. If only I-I kept things simple, then it wouldn't have gotten so complicated.”

“It's okay,” you whispered. “we're both a little flustered. It….it really took a lot of courage to say what you had said earlier. So you shouldn't apologize for being human.”

“But I'm - I'm still so sorry.”

You moved your chair as close as you could, stretching out to work your fingers through his soft hair, and managed to find the beginnings of silver strands, but you said nothing of it. “You should have seen how you looked when you told me you loved me. You were so earnest and charming."

He reached out to take your hand and place it upon his heart. It was beating wildly, almost dangerously you thought. You waited until he calmed a little, and when the heavy blush and the redness of his ears softened, you knew that it was time. He really was too much, too good for you, too lovely, and you sincerely hoped you wouldn't offend him. “I hope you're ready, cause this really is going to be a long story. I think by telling it, it'll make my answer to your proposal more believable.”

________________

For years, you two had lived in the same town, in the same neighborhood, only houses away from each other. It was funny how you two hadn't met before, though Rick would later tell you it was because of his job. At the time, you would say you were old enough to know what heartbreak felt like, as well as what warmth and kindness should be; though you hadn't been in any sort of serious relationship. Like any woman your age, you had dreams of meeting someone, but for the most part, your love life wasn't first and foremost on your mind; you were busy trying to get through everyday.

So when you met Zeta-7, it never occurred to you how much he would someday come to mean to you; let alone how much your life would change. Now, it had taken a while, a little longer then you'd care to admit. It certainly wasn't love at first sight, for under the set of circumstances in which you two had met, Rick had come off as a friendly old man. But of course, after helping you carry groceries, a cup of tea, and a ukulele song, you warmed to him and became fast friends.

At first, you were hesitant in allowing him into your home; you'd seen enough Dateline to make you cautious. So, you two would meet on your porch on a regular basis, though it was not long before you felt safe enough to let him come over and repair small appliances; it was fascinating watching him tinker. And when he wasn't too busy, you'd go and see what he was doing in the garage. Perhaps you should have known then that he was different, but you had no point of comparison, and just went with it.

Sometimes, you two would just watch TV or have an occasional dinner at Shoney’s, or a late-night ice cream on your front porch. And you'd listen to his laughter; how his happy noises seemed to fill up the house. You were delighted by the nuances of his gentle voice, and at night, he'd tell about the stars, going into detailed explanations of constellations and about other heavenly bodies. It made you wonder what was out there, and it only fed your curiosity. You were comforted by his warm presence, thinking it was nice to have a father like figure around again, to fill up the time, and carry on long, meaningful conversations with. His eye for detail and selective word choice made most of your conversations laid back but stimulating.

Whether it was in your house, in his kitchen, or a quick cup of tea in the garage, he enjoyed sharing his homemade brews and you enjoyed drinking them. While at first glance he seemed simple, you took quick notice of his genteel manners, in the way he talked, in his general presence which you found was pleasing. It did not take long to notice that he was a learned man, with various degrees which hung in the left corner of his living room; he was actually a doctor in several meanings of the word. Perhaps in all meanings of the word.

Watching him mutter to himself, blissful, carefully piecing together a device that did who-knows-what filled him with joy. And you had always assumed that anyone above thirty-five - at least from what sense and sensibility told you - could not have any passion left, but you saw it every time he showed you a new invention; you saw him as he should be. As though he were this character who stepped off a page, you found yourself growing ever so curious about his thoughts, feelings, and machinations of his wonderful mind. You wanted to get close, to know him better, and he took this positively as you wanting to be best friends. And when he held you in his arms for the first time, you knew that he had ruined men for you. He wasn't supposed to feel so strong, and his arms weren't supposed to be sure, and hold you warmly, and most of all, there wasn't supposed to be a flutter.

Now having it formed in your mind that he was indeed a man, you could not smother your curiosity, though still, you tried to conceal it. It felt good to feel cared for again, and you didn't want to threaten it. Still, the affection you held for him was not the kind one felt for a parent. And your hopes and dreams were shattered, with this sudden, intense awareness of him, conscious of every breath he took, of his mobile features, recognized every nuance in his reflections.

All those times when you'd watch him dance in the kitchen, swaying about, more spritely than others your own age, you'd laugh, and he’d ask you to join him. And when your hands touched, it was like a current passed through you, and that giddiness would last all day. Those hands, which could create worlds, whisk a cream, or trace pictures in the sand, you could hold them in yours for eternity. Even longer, if what he spoke of at times was true.

If he had weeks where work kept him busy, he would call you, and you'd drop what you were doing to listen; he was always so excited to hear your voice; it lightened up your day. Or when he finally saw you after a few days, he'd greet you with a warm hug, and you'd return with equal enthusiasm. At times, you felt as though neither wanted to let go and held on to each other longer than what was platonically acceptable, but you'd pretend as though nothing happened, even if your heart was screaming. Why you'd almost lose yourself in his grasp.

As a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, you never felt as though there were any hidden agendas, or that he had a pervy attraction to you. On the contrary, you felt like the pervert for feeling all giddy and excited whenever he spoke with enthusiastic intelligence or showed you his experiments. There were times when you'd reach out and pat him on the back, telling him he had done such a good job, and he'd gift you with his winning smile, which caused unusual thoughts to cross your mind, and it messed you up. What was he to you?

Whether you were at home, or you sat in his home for a tea party, you knew something was the matter with you. You were a mess of feelings, of messy, happy, effervescent feelings, which you expressed in your work, in your writing. Harmless thoughts, which lingered and filled the contents of a novel. It was the story of a young woman who had fallen in love with her older, mute neighbor. In your head, you reasoned that your character was nothing like him, that the older man, as brilliant as he was in mathematics, science, and botany, who expressed himself through his actions, and kindness was made up. Perhaps your readers thought the same, but the modest ebook sales only reinforced that maybe there was something to it.

Missed glances, brief moments where you touched, awkward laughs, and a heart heavy feeling sitting on your chest; he was always on your mind. In between your issues, when you were doubtful, he'd reassure you of your capabilities, and when he felt lacking, you'd remind him of his genius. And while there were many moments which had been lovable, which were dear to you, you replayed the times that were nearest to your ideals; of what fits into your daydreams. You're not sure when, but it had been you who started to flirt regularly, and watch him blush, stammer, and get flustered; it gave you an odd thrill knowing it had been you who had caused him to feel as such, but then it would trouble you all the more. It wasn't fair to him, and you weren't helping your cause.

What were you doing, trying to toy with the feelings of an old, lonely man, who had little in the world, but your friendship and a few possessions; it filled your heart with grief. You didn't want to hurt him, you just wanted him to think you were beautiful, smart, funny, and well everything you'd want your crush to feel. If you were unhappy, he'd cheer you up with gifts, desserts, and his generous affection. For the most part, you knew his intentions were honorable, but in your head, you'd hope differently.

It could not work, he was so much older than yourself; not that you cared. For all you knew you were like the daughter he never had. In your heart, you tried to resolve that all you felt was friendship, but then he'd smile, laugh, or be kind to you and you were falling apart. You weren't a kitten, you had always liked men your own age, but you didn't just like him, you were intoxicated by him.

He wasn't even handsome. Well…at first, you didn't think so. You did however find him strangely adorable, and lovely. He was tall and slender, so he wore clothes well. Very gentle and nice, clean-shaven, with abundant blue hair, with the exception of the few strands which choose to be rebellious, prominent buck teeth which gave him a childish innocence, but straightforward, electric blue eyes which reminded you otherwise.

Your eyes would follow him as he moved about the room. Rick had long lashes for a man and was just as impressive overall, and intelligence was even more so. Could anything possibly stop him? Death perhaps, though Zeta-7 didn't care to admit how age played a big role in his energy levels at times, but you knew it was to be expected. You knew what you were getting yourself into when it came to dating someone so much older than yourself; if he'd consider it that is. For hours, he somehow kept up with your foolishness, and you barely managed to follow his genius.

You'd follow if he asked you to come, and in time you knew you were his. You felt loyalty to him, the kind which you knew you'd never revoke. You thought at first that it was his personable nature which had endeared you to him, but it was everything. He was everything.

Zeta-7 had always been affectionate, but not in the way which made you worry. You craved it, his attention, his affection, and wished to be closer than woven gossamer, and took everything he was willing to give you. You were not in love, you would tell yourself, it was merely infatuation. He was simply a cheerful grandpa kind of man, whose arms you would melt in, whose gentle, and generous affection you were greedy for. You were selfish, that was simply it.

Then came the defining moment, which happened one night while you two were cooking together. You needed a few cloves of garlic to chop for the eggplant lasagna, and he just kept handing you cloves. You told him you had enough, and he smiled warmly, telling you there could never be enough garlic and you stopped. You two stared at each other for what seemed like hours even though only seconds passed. It was as though you had come to an understanding.

His winning smile had been the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, his eyes captured you, and you knew for a fact that what you felt was something greater than friendship. The rest of the evening you found yourself in a daze, and hesitant to be near him. In your heart, your feelings felt as though it were almost forbidden, as though you shouldn't feel this way for someone who was a great friend. You blamed these feelings on your own impatience, inexperienced like the man before you. Yeah, you wanted his attention, and he had been attentive. Everyday he made sure your emotional needs were met, he'd probably do just about anything if you asked him to, but you were scared, perhaps just as afraid as he was. Still, the words themselves were an enigma, they burned, they toiled, begging to be said, but you were afraid. Yet, you searched his face, and found the answer; you were falling in love with him.

His sing-song voice twisting and curling about you. You wouldn't risk it you told yourself, but before you went to bed that night he called you and apologized if he had offended you. “No”, you had said, “I'm just not feeling well, but I'll be fine. I promise, I'm going to be okay, so you don't have to worry about me.”

“I-I-I can't help it, I care about you.” was his sincere reply.

Those dizzying warm feelings of affection bubbled and boiled, and you did your best to try to repress them. As usual, he wanted to help you feel better, but you were afraid it would ruin things; you'd rather hurt yourself, then hurt him, and never see him again. For the next week, you thought long and hard, and the next time you two met, you were sitting in his home for afternoon tea, and you told him of how you felt right out of the blue. “Rick, I like you.”

Being the dear man he was, he thought you were talking in platonic terms. “Gosh, really? Well, that's why I'm - why I'm glad we're best friends.”

“No,” you sighed. “that's not what I meant.” You watched as his smile turned to fear, but you continued. “I know you're much older then I am, and you probably see me as some kid, but I'm a grown woman, with adult feelings. And for a while, I thought it was nothing, but I can't ignore it anymore. I care about you as my friend and I understand if you don't want that to change, but I see you as a man, and I hope you realize that I like you so much. There's nothing you can say which will change it because I don't want to change these feelings of mine. I'm not saying this to make fun of you, or because I'm lonely, but to let you know that I like you and that I'm not ashamed.”

So what if you were a kitten, you cared about him, and you knew that if he were to let you down, he would be gentle about it. The sweet, kind man that he was, gently, and carefully placed a shaky hand upon yours and gave it a squeeze. And he cried, “Gosh, you - you don't know how relieved I am. I-I-I thought I was a pervert for-for feeling the way I had.”

“Wait, you….you like me too?”

He groaned, as though he were in pain, and studied you before he continued. “I-I-I don't understand, I'm - I'm so old and gross, and y-you are like a freshly bloomed rose. H-h-h-h-how…..w-w-why?”

You reassured him, taking his hand in yours, rubbing your face into his shaky palm. “Because I just do.”

When he calmed, he looked at you with such affection, and the soft look he gave you made your breath caught. He was in love with you. Even back then, his feelings had been greater, but you dared not believe it. How could you believe it?

Your kind, gentle friend had won you over with such kindness and attracted you with a tender heart. When did you know? In moments when you saw him, not the old man, but of the softness, the beauty of an intriguing mind, and of winsome determination to be happy and to help you be happy too. You held each other so tight, you felt as though you were bound together.

He held you with a strength you did not realize one his age even still had. This was a time before kisses, before great declarations. It was a time to feel, to learn, to hold one another in a soul-crushing embrace. His heartbeat was alarmingly fast, and there had been something almost boyish in the way he placed a tress of hair behind your ear. You were the first to admit your feelings, but he had been the first to ask. A nervous chuckle escaped him, and a little lip-bite followed. “I-I am quite fond of you, and seeing that we - that our feelings are mutual, would - will you…will y-y-you go steady with me?”

As archaic as the terms might have been, it was still charming, and being the kind of man he was, you knew he meant it, and that there was only one way to answer. “Yes, I'd love to.”

Of course, you would go out with him. And forever, that memory would be etched upon your soul.

________

With wide eyes, he remembered how ashamed he had felt. He sat up, ready to shield his face, but you held your arms open. Like back then, you held each other in a soul-crushing embrace. “Do you understand now, my dear, dear friend? There was no way it could have been anyone else. Like a tree planted by streams of water, I've flourished under your attentions. You see me…. you see what I am, as I am. We make each other happy, every day, all the time.”

You two were not wary strangers; passersbys in one another's narratives; not in this instance at least. Neither were you two butterflies emerging from cocoons; descendants of lovers found in a field of barley; discovering and reveling in springtime gusts and gales. No, you were not beautiful like alabaster apples on a ledge; nor figments of one's imagination. You were, however, on the cusp of change; this was the rest of it; the continuation of what had been attempted two years ago; it was nothing like how you thought it would be, but the expectancy of the moment was palpable nonetheless. For your part, you admired the lovely scarlet coloring which crept up his neck and tinged the top of his ears; how becoming it was as well as boyish. And if it weren't already obvious, you didn't need time to think of a reply, and with clear purpose, you answered. "And dear, well, we are still friends. We're best friends. The sweetest, dearest friends that anyone could ever have, except that we love one another. Oh, I do want to. I will marry you."

Oh, whatever future there might've been destined for him, you altered its course by your acceptance of his proposal. Unlike the nihilistic view where no one had a choice, and what had been written was set in stone and that nothing mattered, you decided would not be so. In partaking in this agreement, you had taken on the consequences of what might occur in connection with Rick's work life. You had also taken on the responsibility of what you'd have to do once Rick surpassed the ability to mechanize himself any further than he already had. Still, you could live with this new burden because you were no stranger to heartache and had to make the best of what you two had; love made you do it; unbidden joy was your reward.

Tbc

32 notes · View notes

illusivesoul · 4 years

Text

OC Interview Meme

Was tagged by @alyssalenko Thank you :)

I'll tag @liveinthehills @morgaine-of-avalon @1esk19 @flaine1996 @occorner @forlornmelody and @comefeedtherainn Only if you feel like doing this, of course.

Katerina Shepard (making the interview after saren's defeat but before ME2)

name ➔ Katerina. Close acquaintances call me Katya.

are you single ➔ No. I have a beautiful blue doctor who somehow fell in love with me.

are you happy ➔ Yeah. For the first time in a long while, I think I am. Everything's gonna be fine.

are you angry ➔ Trying not to be this days, with Liara and Karin's help. I spent so many years raging against so many things. Now I'm thinking clearly and... getting better. I hope.

are your parents still married ➔ Maybe they are, or most likely were. Maybe i was the result of a crazy night between strangers. I never knew them, and they're probably dead by now, so I'll guess we'll never know.

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ Don't know where I was born, but I grew up jumping between Alaska and Russia.

hair color ➔ Red.

eye color ➔ Li says they're 'emerald green'

birthday ➔ Never knew the exact date, so an old acquaintance of mine back on Earth and I decided to celebrate it on October 28th. The date when John Grissom became the first human to go through a Mass Relay.

mood ➔ Like now ? Calmed. For the moment.

gender ➔ Female

summer or winter ➔ Winter.

morning or afternoon ➔ Afternoon.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ Yeah.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ I believe you might want to fuck someone at first sight. But love is more complicated than that, so no, I don't.

who ended your last relationship ➔ this might be surprising to you, but I'd never been in a serious relationship before I met Liara. At least one that didn't involve me doing works for the Alliance.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ I have. Several times, with several people.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ I think i was afraid of not living long enough to see them through.

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ I have been attatched to Liara like a flea lately.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔Secret and not so secret ones too. Comes with being turned into a propaganda figure.

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ ... Not yet.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ both. Tough i haven't had much experience with love till now.

lemonade or iced tea ➔ Batarian alcohol.

cats or dogs ➔ Dogs. Always.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ I have 3 best and regular friends. That's the whole extent of my friendship circle.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ before i'd always said night out, but ive found that romantic nights in are much, much better.

day or night ➔ I feel safer at night.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ Not really. Being good at sneaking around is key for being an infiltrator.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ both.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ All my time in the Alliance i was driven forward by my desire to help humanity. That was my blind zeal that drove me forward.

Also when Liara and I were on and off... yeah. I wanted to be with her badly. So yes to both of them.

wanted to disappear ➔ a lot.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ both

shorter or taller ➔ i used to like being able to look down on people since I'm pretty tall, but Liara is a head taller than me, and I love having to look up at her and having to get on my toes to reach her height. Makes me feel all tingly.

intelligence or attraction ➔ depends on wheter is long or short term, but generally ill always go with intelligence.

hook-up or relationship ➔ before, hook ups. Now, relationship.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ i have 3 persons that i consider "family" And yeah, we get along. Most of the time.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ it certainly hasn't been normal. And that's all I'll say from it.

have you ever ran away from home ➔ i ran away from the place that i considered home when i was a kid. And I nearly died because of it.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ I've been kicked out of places like clubs and shit. But from home ? No. Never had a true home before so kinda hard to get kicked out from one.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ I don't have that luxury when the friends i have can be counted with one hand.

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ if they're my friends they're already best friends as far as I'm concerned.

who is your best friend ➔ it's a tie between kaidan and karin. Don't know how those 2 have put up with my shit for so long.

who knows everything about you ➔ a pretty blue lady doctor. I say she knows more than most.

#tag meme #katerina shepard

12 notes · View notes

markcampbells · 4 years

Text

Six Facts

Cait (@malionnes) tagged me to write six facts about myself. Boy is this a lot wordier than it should be. Will I ever shut up about myself?

1) I had a medical mystery a few years back. Four years ago, I had a blurry patch in my field of vision that lead to me being diagnosed with increased intracranial pressure, or pseudotumor cerebri. If you think that sounds like fake brain tumor, you are correct. Very luckily, it hasn't recurred again and does not seem to be chronic for me as it is for some, but the doctors never did figure out why I had it. I didn't fit into any of the typical risk factors. It was scary and strange.

2) The first period drama I actually enjoyed was Girl with a Pearl Earring. When I was young, my mom was dating my stepdad, and that often included going to movies. Sometimes I would join them and, embarrassingly, this meant that occasionally their date night was more "take Tracy to see the Wild Thornberrys movie" (I am sorry about that...). I also got taken to a number of period pieces that I didn't like! I remember at the time I found Mira Nair's Vanity Fair meh, and The Four Feathers had battle scenes that were a bit too realistically gory for my age at the time and my mom and I still laugh about that. But for some reason I loved Girl with a Pearl Earring, book and movie, and that helped kick off my love for the period drama genre.

3) Christopher Isherwood is one of the first connections I remember making to queer culture, and still means a lot to me. The weird thing is how I found Cabaret--a former friend got introduced to it via the Cold Case episode where Adam Pascal played the victim (a performer in the show), which I later watched myself, and from there I fell in love with the music (to date I've seen four different productions, two professional and two amateur) and sought out the Berlin Stories and more about Isherwood's life. I haven't read as much of his actual work as I probably should have by now, but I do have a small collection I've acquired that's still growing of his works, and a very supportive mom who took me to see Chris & Don when I asked, years ago at our local arts cinema. Something in his work really spoke to me, and as I've gotten older I've come to understand more about the way queer culture can speak to queer youth before they fully understand themselves. As it turned out, that was the case for me, and I really value what his work and life taught me at a young age about queer history and queer love.

4) I've been told by more than one teacher I'm a good actress, but never made anything of it. This is one I kind of have regrets about. The two teachers who told me this were very experienced in theater, and both encouraged me to find opportunities, but then every time I auditioned for something, I tended not to get cast. It was discouraging, and I fell out of drama once I left high school. I do think sometimes about attempting it more as an adult and getting involved in community theater, but I don't know if it will work out. I do value the pieces that I did get to work on. The musicals I was in were bad experiences due to an abusive teacher, but I was in a really great one-act play about a Jewish family my own Jewish relatives got to come see me in, and working on The Laramie Project was a really special and emotional experience.

5) I've been a writer since I was ten. My fourth-grade class had to write narrative accounts of our trip to a local museum, and I got a great grade on mine, with my teacher commenting my writing really had a voice. I started pursuing creative writing from there. It's always been a private hobby and one I never had too much desire to publish, but I did make the school literary magazines, and one of my poems made it into a local paper. I also won $100, I think, for winning my high school's nonfiction essay contest for an essay arguing for same-sex marriage. (Which is still a really depressing thing to remember about where the world was when I was in high school.)

6) Spider-Man has been an enduring love for me since I was really young. It pretty much started with the Raimi films, but I was also really into a young adult book I had that retold a version of the origin story, but through Mary Jane's eyes and with a heavy focus on her life. You can look back at pictures of me as a young teen and long before I had ever read a comic book I'm wearing Spider-Man t-shirts and eagerly seeking out Spider-Man merch. I felt a really deep connection to Peter Parker, and he helped me feel seen, as a bullied, lonely kid. Even as an adult who actually reads comics now and has found other favorites, I'm always incredibly weak for the character, and I'm super happy we're in a boom of quality Spider-content right now.

I tag no one but anyone who sees this and wants to steal for themselves, feel free! You can lie and say I tagged you if you're embarrassed. :p

#about me #evacampbells #malionnes

2 notes · View notes