#Whenever you think about Pako | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beholdimhisbeloved · 9 months

Text

A little disappointed & sad pero nawala din naman agad. Basta magtitiwala nalang ako saiyo Lord. Alam kong You chose it kasi ayon ang best para sakin. I’d like to think of it as a blessing.

Context: about to sleep na sana kaso naisipan ko muna ivisit yung reo enrollment application ko. Normally, it would allow us to change/update our seat. Kaya last time, napapalitan ko siya whenever there is available na better seat, which is front seat kasi malabo ang mata ko. Schedules are: mwf morning, mwf aft, tth and weekends. Currently, ang application ko is on TTH. Tth set up is tuesday halfday, thursday whole day. I actually don’t like it. Especially dahil valenzuela pako uuwi. Wala eh, ayon na ang may best front seat. I can’t risk a schedule na I prefer (morning class) pero likod ang seat ko. Maganda nga ang sched iiyak naman ako kasi nasa likod. Haha gusto ko ba yon? Of course not. So i waited and waited patiently until may magopen na new room. Tonight was the night. May new room avail na. MWF morning and avail pa ang front seat. Unfortunately, bawal na magchange. Down bad. Messaged REO if it’s feasible to switch sched but sadly, they do not allow. For a while, I just don’t get it. Opened twitter since wala naman na kong magagawa then I saw this post. (Photo ref below)

Ewan ko ba bat naiiyak ako dahil ba dito or dahil meron ako today at andaming nangyari. Anyway, since inaccept ko na ang mga pangyayari agad, narealize ko lang bigla na ang bless ko. Imagine, ang tagal ko na naghahanap ng place na pwede ko pag aralan. Coffee shop pa nga na mura hinahanap ko tapos ito free lang?! One jeep lang sasakyan ko mula bahay andon na ako agad? Magkano lang papamasahe ko a day.. And as a resignee at full time reviewee super halaga ng money sakin right now. I will make tipid as much as I can to sustain myself until I pass the boards. Blessing kasi pnlano ko na mag manila from November to April araw araw kasi doon ako mag aaaral, tapos bibigyan ako ni Lord ng ganitong option?! Yung hindi masyadong mahirap ang byahe mas mura pa.

Lord grabe ka na. Di niyo na ko mapapaniwalang hindi para sakin ang lisensya. Kasi kung ganito gumalaw ang Diyos sa buhay ko, walang makakatibag ng faith ko. You will fight for me, Abba. Likewise, ilalaban ko to para sayo.

1 note · View note

cosmosrival · 4 years

Note

Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away-

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner.

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

#answered #long post #SORRY FOR THE BIG SCROLL.

45 notes · View notes

itsjusta · 3 years

Text

TAAS2 NI DOEEE HEHEHE READ EVERYTHING HUUUH!!

Feb 15 (Mon)

i got so busy in da hapon doe 🥺 i cleaned da cr huhu im so kapoyyy and then i felt a little kulbaan doeee cos nag huna2 ko sako sched sa mon-wed dis week issa so busy doeee :((( i have to do pa today one assignment and then practice for our prelims then finalize half of my midterms theeeen study for ur philo HAHAHAHAH aissshhh i also feel very kahilakon doeee idk and my arms kay murag ga kurog2 doe :(( aish im too busy for these feelings!!!!

4:15 pm —— i was doing my assignment but idkkkk my heart is beating fast jd doeee and my arms feel numb and ga kurog2 and i have this kulbaan feeling :((( UGH issa need to take a break :(( also wanna cry but i cant cry doeee but i eventually cried na dayon doeee

i also didnt continue to work nalang doeee issa i dont feel well physically and emotionally hahahha 😟 im back to working doe and i cried a looootttt cos im writing about love HAHAHAH

but the practice was cancelled sooo i started na my surprise for u para mas less2 ako i do ugmaaa i started na the peanut butter bars unta lang di ma epic fail uyyy or basin di diay ta mag kita sa wed hilak ko!!!!

Feb 16 (Tues)

issa wake up ko so early kay gi wake up ko sako groupmates and aishhhh so busy na dayon mi prac and do sa amo midterms!!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ and i’m so sleepy na gyd doeee huhu

so kapoy ni nga day doe cos whole day atubang sa screen issa maka drain doe and maka labad sa head issa wa gyd ko na do nga acads kay mag utro pami reshoot so sayang effort but sge nalang doeee huhuhu alsooo excited for my surprise tooom hope u like it :((((

Feb 17 (Wed)

Woke up at 7:30!!! so early so sayo pd ko nag cook for your giftsss and for our lunch hehehe im always excited to cook for u doe and give u gifts 🥺🥺🥺 and aishhh im really happy doe that u still laag hereee issa when i’m with u i feel safe gyd doe 🥺🥺🥺 u give me so much comfort gyd doe thank u sooo much 🥺🥺 even though u dont say it, i know u care a lot for me gyd doeee (or maybe assuming lang ko hahahah) but aishhh thank u for keeping me in your life :((

i’m sorry i cried a lot doeee huhu idk also but aishhh its hard for me to let go of you gyd doeee and moments like this issa makes me realize na i still have so much love for u gyd doe :((( issa both tears of joy and sadness man to kanina!! hahahha im happy na u still make time for me doeee and im happy gyd that i get to be with youuu but also sad cos aishhh issa i know everything is so hard gyd doe and usahay ra au ta makauban huhu what i said was true doeee that i will endure everything basta its for ur happiness!! hehhe u know i’ve endured sooo much the past months but i never got angry with u gyd doeee cos i know u were happy man with your decisions!!! heheh i can never hold bad feelings for u gyd doeee my heart is just full of gratitude and love for u!!!! i just want u to be happy saimo life doeee career, acads, family life, with friends, and saimo gf doeee heheh even though its so sakit for me but i just want gyd na mahappy ka heheh and aishhh im happy gyd doe nga part pako saimo lifeee 🥺🥺 im happy that u talk to me pa doeee and that i still get to be with youuu heheh makes me happy that you’re there for me whenever i have chikaaa!!!! thankkkkk youuu eriiiiccc!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

and giving gifts is one way i can show how much i appreciate you doeee :((( and thank youuuu for making me feel cared for and special :((( issa u always make me feel lyk dat gyd doeee with ur hugs and kisses thank u :(((( and aish i get so soft for u gyd doe esp when u cry huhuhu dont cry na ok!!!! i’m happy this way man heheh i’m happy doe that u still let me show my love for u and im happy and grateful that u keep me in ur life doe 🥺 i just always hope and pray that my heart can endure watching u love another doe just until i can move on hehe and i think my heart is getting stronger naman doe but aish there are just times gyd that i cannot kaya it heheh but das okay ryttt!! thank youuu kaayo for coming here doeee thank u for giving me your time and for the effort!!! i appreciate it so much doe cos i know its hard gyd to come visit me with your situation now but u still make time for me gyddd thank youuuuu 😭😭😭❤️❤️

anddd how r u doe??? maulaw ko ask in person doe idk why :((( i hope you’re okay lang also haaaa maybe hurting napd ka there :((( i want u to be genuinely happy doeee and i will also get there soon!! apas rako!!! ❤️

Feb 18 (Thurs)

started my day early cosss we had to shoot sa gmeet doeee heheh its a nice day doe idk why!! the weather is nice heheh also i chika to u about khalid doeee hahaha shhh lang ok!!! 🤣 issa i got scared doe i just inbox zone him HAHAHHAHA di jd ko ga entertain ug mga laki doeee cos i dont have gana gyd to talk to others doe!! issa just want to be single lang gyd doeee cos di pako ready also wa pa gani ko ka move on!!! hahahahha

dis day was nice and chill lang doeee i did ur finman hehhe and had an exam dayooon and watched kdrama with mom!! pa tatt nako toooom OMGGG are u excited for me too?!!

Feb. 19 (Fri)

got my first tatt ommgggg it was sakit doeee but kaya lang!!! heheh i was also so excited to chika gyd to u doeee but i know galaag ka busa i have to wait doeee :((( aish issa ka cry dayon ko cos why am i so excited to talk to someone na naay lain priority :((( HMP KALUOY BA AYA!! HAHHAHA but aishhh issa i prefer lang like dis doe kesa i will pugos myself to entertain and talk to others issa cannot gyd doe cos i really dont have the gana hehhe just letting myself cry and maoy now doeee it’s just times like these when i realize how painful this situation is doe

also read this quote on ig dayon nga “I suppose I’ll just keep loving you, until one day it ends.” 🥺🥺 aish made me cry again cos i think this is what i’m gonna do gyd doeee and i hope u just let me love you until then doeeee 🥺 be happy and inlove with another doeee i’ll just be by your side loving you hehe and thank u for letting me love you and be in ur life!!! i dont think my love for u will end doe but u know what i mean hehe thank u cos u not shutting me out or pushing me away hehehe issa i’m sorry i always sorry doeee its just dat i feel like i’m putting u in a bad place :(( but ahhh i appreciate you so much doe and everything u do for me!! :((( thank u also for being so supportive and appreciative for meee aishhhh thank u for making me feel special 😭

Feb 20 (Sat)

happy marriage anniv to ur parents doeee!!! hehehe

woke up at 9:30 then cooked carbonara hehe gitiwas nalang nako pasta smol nalang maaan tired ko uy hehe issa rest day also today from acads doeee issa uban man ko there ila ate sweet and issa tambay2 lang ko there doeee tas pag uli so tayurd ko ka nap ko sa byahe and sa house kadjot hehe then at night watch lang ko kdrama sa room ni mom hehehe issa i like having no acads to do!!

Feb 21 (Sun)

soooo tugnaaaaw cos there’s a bagyo i woke up at 10 na!!! issa grabe ako kurog2 uy heheheh ion like dis weather issa so colddd dili ko ka lihok2 ug ayo cos tugnaw!!

issa also cried today cos aish i remembered our memories doeee and how we were so clingy with each other esp me 🥺🥺 issa like di jd ta agwanta not mag kita dugay doe and di pd ta sumhan sa each other hahahaha we were sumpay tinae gyd!!! aishh idk dali ra gyd kyko maka cry basta maka think ko about you or about sato past doeee issa aish cannot contain gyd emotions :((( and even if now i dont get the same effort from u doe its okaaay becos i chose this man pddd i chose to be in your life gihapon hhehe and aishhh lets just sulit dis doeee i want to sulit pd nga maka talk pako saimoha cos maybe a year from now dili na doeee!! maybe pila ka months imo nako i shoo shoo saimo life!!!! hhahahah but thank u doeee cos i know u want to keep me in ur life gihapon bahala lisod 🥺🥺 thank u im touched huh!!!

1 note · View note

tinydums · 4 years

Text

Memories that I will never forget.

The very first time na hinatid moko sa bahay. I came home, and told everyone na hinatid ako ng crush ko. Hindi ako along the way pauwi mo, pero hinatid moko.

Sobrang tagal na bago ako sumakay ng motor ulit, tapos sobrang bilis mo mag patakbo eh ang hawak ko sa buntot ng motor. Then you told me na ihug ka. And I did. I was smiling the whole time, but I don't know if you saw it sa side mirrors mo.

Nung nag bibiro lang naman ako na mag sorry ka sa personal, tapos pinuntahan moko ng bahay. Nag usap tayo sa waiting shed. Lol. Tapos tinanong mo ako ng "ba't ka nahhurt" :) That day was the first photo I had with you that I didn't have to crop everyone else out of the photo para mag tayo lang yung tira.

Every conversation at night ends open kasi nakakatulog ka, and the next day you would text me "Sorry nakatulog ako kagabi" then the conversation continues.

Remember that time I wrote a long ass essay here in tumblr of why you shouldn't choose me and that was okay? We met later that day. I was letting you go. You cried. Then I realized I must really mean something to you.

When you asked me to make your project (wedding invitation), and I asked you who to put. You said tayong dalawa na very casual. Sobrang kinilig ako, syempre crush na crush kita eh.

When everytime na sinusuyo moko, pinupudpod moko ng sorry stickers + nakahug.

When everytime you're out with friends, sometimes you'd want to see me and hug me, so leave them for 10 mins para pumunta sa bahay, mayakap lang ako.

Nung ako na lagi mo kasama mag grocery instead na sina kuya mo, and lalo na when they left. Tapos nasa cart natin are diapers, milk, all baby stuff, tapos tinitingnan tayo ng mga tao cause they think may baby na tayo. I lowkey like it tho. Everytime, I would pretend that we are living together, and that was normal.

Na pag am duty ka, automatic, magkasama tayo after duty mo. Kakain sa labas, maglalakad lakad.

How you used emojis on me before. Simpleng "😂/😍/😘"

How everytime one topic ends and we need to think of another one, you'd tell me you love me.

My whole stay in Macau with you and your family. Our petty fights, just sitting next to each other chatting kasi we were fighting, or sitting next to each other scrolling on social media. Yung monthsary date natin sa mcdonalds. Yung lakad lakad natin sa san malo na nabubusog tayo dahil sa free taste— hanggang sa nag bitbit na tayo ng plastic to put everything. We even found a spot to go to hide and put everything inside. Everything I hold close to my heart

Pag special yung araw automatic may bulaklak ako kasi I always force you, and you know how much it means to me.

The very first time you posted me on your ig. Hindi pa tayo nun. Sobrang random. I'm not worthy lol. Ni hindi nga ako nakatingin nun. Tapos yung mga post mo sa ig nun na mukha ko or tayong dalawa. I didn't have to tell you na mag post ka 'cause you do it anyway. Minsan surprised pako, gaya nalang nung hindi kita pinapansin tapos pinicturan moko with a caption "silent treatment". Those random things I appreciate and love about you.

Our anniversaries. I always make it to a point that I'd give you something na pinag isipan ko and pinag effortan ko. Kasi I wanted you to feel that I would always go out of my way to make you feel special 'cause you deserve effort.

Those small notes I would put on you helmet or in your bag, anywhere. Cause I know it made you feel kilig inside, also I wanted to remind you that I love you. That everytime I'd pass by your building, I thought of you.

Eto pa, times na nag eexpire unli ko tapos makikitext ako sa friends ko na expired na unli ko, in 5 minutes meron ako marreceive na pasa load lol. Made me feel na you really wanted to talk to me.

Times na nakikisabay ka sa friends natin para pakiligin si other friend natin na involve ako, I know how awkward it was for you kasi lowkey naglalandian na tayo lol.

Ay. That time we want to Naga with our friends, nung pauwi tayo, I woke up na hawak mo kamay ko. Aminin ko I was kilig, shocked, and hiya kasi hindi malambot kamay ko and baka naturnoff ka.

Yung mga lakad natin na nakamotor tayo tapos uulan. Nasa ilalim ako ng coat mo nakahug sayo. Tapos minsan pag di kaya, mag sstop tayo kung saan.

That time din na you helped me with my project. Sa jollibee imperial tayo nun kasi walang kuryente. Also nag stay ka din sa bahay hanggang past 9 para matapos yung project ko.

I didn't mind doing you reflection papers, essays, editing your thesis or anything that involves microsoft word, kasi I was good at it and I love you.

All the times I was there sa mga events mo, not even events kahit trainings, andyan yung girlfriend. But you didn't mind having me there. You insisted having me there, so you're classmates got used to it, and they liked me kahit di ko naman sila kausap.

For all the times na may errands ka, I was always there and I loved it so much. Tapos pag may questions, ako yung magtatanong.

Our jollibee moments, may one phase tayo na lagi tayo jabee, you would always order yung supreme na meal with egg, and then one time I tried it kasi naiingit ako sayo, and I loved it.

Also, uncle ton's. Lagi uncle ton's with the same order everytime hanggang sa nagsawa tayo.

YOLO moments.

Joyride kung saan.

Pag punta sa places that's new to both of us. Exploring places.

Beach days with just you and me.

How we plan things, how you make to do lists, and to buy lists.

Yung mga night outs natin na lagi tayo time concious kasi may curfew ako. Sobrang bilis mo mag patakbo ng motor. Tapos naluluha ako sa hangin then sasabihin ko sayo may tears ako lol

Lahat ng efforts mo to make me smile or laugh pari bati na tayo. Example: breakdance mo.

Yung time na natatae ako. Tapos nahihiya pako mag sabi nun sayo sa BU kasi bago palang tayo. Kaso di ko kinaya and sinabi ko sayo tapos tawa ka ng tawa, then nanandya ka pang mag patakbo ng mabagal nung malapit na tayo sa bahay. Di ka pwede makita kasi nakamotor tayo kaya sa 711 ka tumambay tapos nag lakad ako after para imeet ka dun.

Those judgemental eyes I get whenever we're out with Liam, and the whispers I hear from salesladies "may anak na pala sya" lol

How could I forget yung nag asikaso ako ng scholarship money back sa dswd tapos sinamahan moko.. then sinama moko sa bahay nyo, that was there very first time I met your family and relatives from cabanatuan. Iniwan mo pako sa dining table with them habang tawa tawa ka sa sofa sa gilid kasi alam mo sobrang hiya ako.

Pag may kinicrave akong nakikita ko sa newsfeed, yun kinakain natin kasi alam mo gusto ko.

Potato corner, turks, tapsilog, pizza, batchoy, lomi, calamares, etc etc etc

Funny moments na tawa tawa tayo. I would never forget that time you forgot na kasama moko, and was already on your way back to BU.

Rough roads na dinaanan natin in the relationship when we thought we'd break up for real but ends up always running back to each other kahit sobrang lala nung away. Cool off ng 1 day lol

I love when you hold my hand pag tatawid.

I love when you try to make me laugh pag galit ako sayo.

Also remember that time na nag away tayo sa bday ng friend natin that we went home early kaso umiiyak ako kaha diniretso mo tayo sa Puro so we can talk kasi sabi mo ayaw moko umuwi ng ganun. I was crying tapos kinausap moko and nag sorry ka. Then nung nakauwi na tayo, you told me it broke your heart seeing me like that. And that made me love you even more.

Yung marriage booth sainyo nun na kunwari pako ayaw ko kasi nakakahiya but deep inside kilig na kilig ako and thankful kila nikki lol.

Yung times din na nagsusulat pako sa diary ko tapos lagi moko kinukulit na pabasa.

Yung hinatid moko and you waited the very first time na nag apply ako maging flight attendant.

Nung sabay tayo grumaduate.

All our big and small achievements that we were there for each other. And how 11 was our number.

Sabay tayo nag "adulting". Magkasama sa lahat ng bagay.

Pag busy, mag make time padin kahit isang oras magkita. Lomi saglit, batchoy saglit. Yung kahit sobrang busy mo, you made time to see me. You made ways kahit mag kaaway tayo. I loved that about you. You made me feel how much you value me.

That time I forced you na dapat lagi moko hug and kiss kahit sa cheeks or ulo pag magkikita tayo, and I saw at the begging how uncomfortable it was for you lalo na pag may tao kasi nahihiya ka. Kasi ayaw mo pda.

May mga araw na gentleman ka na ikaw magbibit bit ng bag ko.

Yung nag aapply apply palang ako for the job I really wanted. After ko mag ayos, mag sesend ako pic and you would tell me na ang ganda ko. Tapos ieencourage moko na kaya ko.

Pag pinag uusapan natin dreams natin. Our jobs, our future together. Alin mauuna na bilhin, bahay or kotse. Kung bahay muna bago ikasal. All these things made me so happy kasi I was part of your plans. All the way.

For all the times you showed me how relevant my feelings are to you. How certain things made me uncomfortable and you try your best to not make me feel that way. How certain things upset me so you would think about me first. For all the times you included me.

When you would go to family gatherings with me and that one time without me. You showed me how my family became yours too.

Yung mga beses na ikaw sinusundo moko sa airport whether we were okay or not. You're there.

Pag may duty ka sa alis ko, kahit di ka mag sundo sakin but you made sure you make it before I go inside the airport.

Video calls you initiated. Morning and night messages.

Hugs and kisses.

Dreaming together.

It also makes me happy how each step to get you to where you are now, I was part of it all. Kasi when we were still dreaming, I've always said to myself na tulungan tayo, na hindi ka mag iisa. That I would be there as much as you need me to be. It makes me so happy to know where you are.

I could go on and on about a lot of things. Pero sobrang haba na nito, so I'll just end it here. I still have a lot of good memories with you, things I can't share with anyone else. Intimate moments (funny ones too), as well as moments that are just for us. Also memories that I could write and chose not to 'cause that's for me to cherish alone. I just want to say that it was a great almost 6 years of knowing you. Besides your family, I'll be the most proud when you become a nurse there 'cause I think besides your family, I'm the only one who knew what you've been through, the good and bad. I declared myself your bestfriend. There may be moments that I'm the only one who knew, right? All these memories I will keep forever. 'Cause no matter what ugly moments we had, everything gets washed out by these wonderful memories. It's painful remembering all these, but it's the kind of pain that makes you smile too.

2 notes · View notes

anjealously-blog · 2 years

Text

Hi mga marecakes! Yesterday, I wasnt in good spirits. Today, i still am not but im better than yesterday. Thinking about it, I'm quite grateful for some people who knowingly and unknowingly cheered me up 🤗 i thanked them already but i want to post an appreciation. The chance of them finding this is unknown HAHAHA nevertheless, i want to. Shy ako to express this to them so ill say it here.

To Ylone,

You're my little brother from another mom you know. Di mo alam pero malift mo talaga ang araw ko. Your timing is always right kahit magmsg ka lang para garaan ako or magpatulong. I love that you act like a child with me kase feeling ko talaga I have another brother. Thank you Lon! I dont know how you do it, but its so on time na i wonder talaga minsan if you just feel that something's wrong hahaha. I know pag mag usap tayo, its mostly tuyaan and lokohan. And i know flustered ka nung nagthank you ako sayo kahapon HAHAHA sabi mo pa nabaliw na ako kasi bigla2 nalang nag thank you. But lon, like i said, minsan blessing ka, madalas salot HAHAHA but im still thankful i have you in my life. I never expected na we'll be this close. And I thank God coz he brought you to me. I dont say this to you often but I really love your presence. I love na di mo ko ginakalimutan igreet during occassions. I love that you annoy me randomly. I love the brother I have in you. I will always root for you Ylone! Thank you for treating me as your Ate. We may not be connected by blood, but we're soulmates in other ways. Hays, I love you lon, bigtime! Ikaw ata ang greatest take away ko sa PYM 💝 Pag nabasa mo to, wag mo ko kausapin, maririndi lang ako sayo!! HAHAHAHA PS: IBALIK MO NA MGA DAMIT KO PARANG AWA MO NA

To Earl Dimple,

Beb, i was joking when I msgd you yesterday so you probably didnt feel like something was wrong. I know were close but i dont want to open to you yesterday. Why? Kase I want to keep our jokes and banters. I thought na I would rather laugh with you tonight than be dramatic with you. You also didnt know, but you cheered me up bigtime! And di ako naga joke nung sinabi kong i miss you na!! Uwi ka na kasi! Anw, beb you've always been my go to friend, you know that. We're closer than we thought. We're actually sisters! Thank you for always coming whenever I wanted to get out. Ikaw talaga ang aking one call away friend! You know na I'm always relieved whenever kasama ka, na kahit sino pang kasama nating iba, okay na sakin. You're my constant. And im damn blessed for having you. I love you bb gurl, sobra! 💗

To RS,

If you read this, I know you'll figure out that this is you. Buhay pa ako! HAHAHA the biggest appreciation today is for you! My frustrations were relieved yesterday coz you lend me an ear (not literally). I know we're already friends, but recently lang tayo napunta sa gantong point of closeness. I wanna thank you for reaching out to me, kahit gusto mo lng naman ng gala HAHAHA chos. Really, thank you for giving me a safe space where I can open up without thinking much of the judgement I can receive. Sira naman na image ko sayo kaya keri nalang mag open diba? HAHAHA but really, mamsh I really love that you dont treat me with high regards. Alam mo na diba, na I want to be on equal grounds with my friends, that Im quite sad with the fact na most of my friends act cautiously around me coz they dont wanna annoy or offend me. But you didnt. From then, ang ginawa mo lang ay garaan ako everytime magkaencounter tayo. Until now, magchat ka lang para manggara ulit. From other point of view, its weird that I love na ginagaraan ako, but you know why. So really, thank you. I havent had the guts to open up to other people im closed with, so i mustered up the courage to open up to you kasi sabi mo you'll be there to listen. So i did. And im glad i did. I feel shy coz you saw my vulnerability but aside from that, i felt safe. Thank you for being a safe space! :) hays sana noon mo pako sineryoso kausapin edi sana bff tayo!! And also, sorry coz i dumped my emotional baggage to you. And i also wanna tell you, dont be always there for others. Wag mo hayaan na mapuno ka ng bagahe ng iba. Give yourself space also. With that, i forgot to tell you and im too shy to tell you now, but ill be here for you too. To listen to your rants and be a safe space also. Sabihin ko nalang sayo to next time kasi hiya na ako HAHAHA. Thank you mamsh, sobra sobra!! 💖

#blessed #friendsforkeeps

0 notes

sonjaeson · 2 years

Photo

Week 5 and 6

Hello! Sorry it took me a long time update this series of unfortunate events lol! Kidding aside yeah I apologize for being not on time seriously. I don’t want to make any excuses and just be straightforward, YEP! I’m actually tired of making this a weekly update shit about my life but I must conquer and finish this what I’ve started to lezzzz gow! Before anything else this might be short but atleast I doing the best I can!

One of the highlights would be my new phone! HUAWEI P40 PRO. This might my first time having a phone that has an advance technology on its camera. I was really amazed on how it captures its photo it feels like I’m currently holding small DSLR. And until now I keep on capturing random stuffs on what I see because of this phone’s camera whenever I go outside I keep on staring to different angles and try to make it as beautiful as ever. Anywho, 4th yr 2nd semester started, OJT interviews are now filing up because nganong karon paman ko nag email different companies knowing nga free ra gyd unta kaayo ang akoa first and second week of February. However, first interview was starts with ICS niya feeling nako mao gyd n inga company that the great Jaeson will be working with. Hopefully, I can pass the final interview tomorrow *fingers crossed* pero it’s okay if I will not be qualified as long as I keep on being honest to myself. I mean dili raman pod sila nga kompanya ang akoa ge applyan and if I’m not mistaken 2 na nga company pod ang waiting nalang for may confirmation and next might be my deployed if ever sayo ko mo pasa but, still it would be better if I became one of ICS employees wow! Karon pako naka gamit ani nga word sa akoa self WTF! HAHAHAH Oh yeah, I thought I would be staying here longer pero I decided to go back to Manila as early as now kay naa koy mga papers nga makabwesit kay deadline would be on February 24. Plus it would be more beneficial since our progress in our fucking THESIS is on 0%!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!! I thought sa OJT rako maglisud but fooking THESIS is the main problem.. I thought every solution it creates another problem pero in this case every problem creates sub problem that would become another problem holy shit! Lately, I become useless on every part of the project that I was in. Wala ko kahibaw ngano like sauna consistent jod kaayo ko mangitas solusyon sa mga project and active pako as in active and mo tabang dayon after mahuman akoa part but these days it’s fucking different. Nawala akoa fighting spirit and akoa motivation like boom Nawala ragyd. I think gasugod ni atong C# ang klase and more on backend programming like wala jod koy matabang aside sa sigeg mando kung unsay mga panghbuhaton but at the end of the day I became a freeloader. Ga overnight pa gane mi sa usa ka balay sa akoa classmate and still wala gehapon koy natabang sige rakog katawa nangitag lingaw and worst is kadtong akoa ge studyhan is walay kwenta so nisamot kog ka way gamit YAWA! That’s why every night I keep asking myself ngano? What happen? I thought focus kos akoa future and slowly turning into a responsible adult but instead it feels like I’m slowly turning into a teenager again become young wild and free. I mean the feeling of not dealing with responsibilities and just keep on having fun is undeniably so far good but it’s the way to become responsible in life it’s not the way to survive if I become an independent person. I always look forward to myself to become an independent person paying rent on my home/room but what happen to me right now. I need to reset and focus on upcoming career, there might be a short assessment on the Final Interview later and I have no idea what might gonna be happen so JAESON if you want to become what you want you need to be living in the present right now stop fooling around you’re better than this. Don’t think about the regrets that you had don’t compare yourself to other people who had fun on their teenage life. It’s still not the end of the road and you can still have fun later on your adult life and it would be better since you’ll not be a freeloader anymore and dependent on the allowance that your mother give you. Soooooooooooooo baby steps, focus on the present focus on your OJT and focus on your fucking THESIS! FINISH IT! 3 MONTHS might be long but in this stupid world it’s faster than you think it is! SO I NEED YOU TO FOCUS FOR THE MEAN TIME FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!

Before I end this, I just want to share what happened on Valentine’s Day.. So of course wala napod tay kauban because the 2 girlfriends I had I runaway and broke up with them so here I am waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone that will re-ignite this heart of mine to let me feel what’s romantic love again what and where was that Jaeson that was happily inlove years ago. Anyways, so these new friends of mine had a simple celebration a “BBQ Party + Empi” and I’m becoming envious again not because 2 of them are in love with each other but because one of us found someone who he can chat with and be happy for those moments with the girl. It made me envious because since the moment I go back here not even one that I tried to talk to continued the conversation or if ever lang based on my realizations and observations I’m trying to be also hard to get and keeps holding myself back to become a simp on someone. I just kinda miss the joy of flirting with someone albeit it’s on chat and at the same time the feeling of infatuation on that moment. Maybe I am too old for this kind of romantic shits and go for old tricks! But still loyal paman gud kung Nikka AHAHAH like any moments nga naa koy ipost and if ever mo react siya like wtf gahuna-huna dayon og wedding event and family HAHAHAHAHHAHA it’s fucking BS and literally pathetic on me expecting something on someone who doesn’t even try to know me better yet I keep insisting on being with her. I need to stop this ludicrous dream of mine and again live on the present. Stop the expectation of something that has a slight chance of happening and just go with the flow where ever this universe takes me. However, the valentine’s of 2022 is actually not that bad as long you have friends that joins you and have mini-celebration just because mankind created this day for humanity to forget everything for a day and be with their partner and reminisce on how they started dating. In short, drop everything and look for each other and just be in-love like the first you met. Just for a short night all you have to do is think how lucky you are to be with someone unknowingly what might gonna happen in the future. AND THAT’S MY FUCKING ENTRY ON THIS 5th and 6th I’m gonna call this PANO by Zack Tabulod “ Pano naman ako Nahulog na sayo ”

0 notes

bestofbeth6 · 5 years

Text

Yes, it’s true.

It is true that even if you are together in a very long time, there comes a time that you’ll no longer become each others’ happiness.

yes, you love each other. yes, you’ve held on each other’s arms and became dependent on ‘em. But have ever asked yourself...

Until when will you hold onto something that’s not even consistent and doesn’t give you assurance whenever you need one.

Until when will you give yourself a hard time asking what’s wrong with the relationship you’ve treasured and with the relationship you thought was strong enough.

Until when will you be asking the things that every happy woman shouldn’t be asking.

To andy,

Alam mo sobrang mahal kita! Kaya alam mo din siguro kung pano ko mapapasaya and most especially pano ko mapapalungkot at mapapasuko. Alam ko, sa ngayon wala pakong nagagawang ikakatuwa mo ng todo, ikakasaya mo ng todo. pero all this time, i thought you’ve become more mature about what we have, what we had and what i can only give you. i’m not demanding efforts from you, efforts na katulad ng ginagawa mo sakin dati. pero ngayon, parang kailangan ko na talagang maramdaman ka ulit. Ever since we both worked our ass up, sinet ko na yung sarili ko na hindi na tayo magkakasama mashado gaya ng dati.. sinet ko na yung sarili ko na may time na lagi kang pagod at walang oras sakin. but what i can’t understand is, bakit ako kaya ko. bakit ikaw hindi? 🥺🙁 is it because.. you can’t or you just don’t want to give much effort to me. there’s always a huge difference between everything. you need to think of that, you need to think if it upsets me or not. I know i’ve been very selfish to you, but have you asked yourself kung naging selfish kaba sakin o hindi? Sama ng loob ko sayo to the point na hindi na talaga ko sumasaya. before pa mag anniversary parang wala kanang ka gana gana, kahit konting excitement wala akong nafeel sayo. Hanggang sa dumating na yung anniv na parang nagmamakaawa pako sayo na pumunta ka sakin ng maaga para marami tayong oras. hanggang sa matapos na yung anniversary wala parin talaga kong napapala sayo. 😥 This is what im always acared to happen, para kang walang gana. Ikaw pa nawawalan ng gana. bakit ganon. Sobrang gusto ko n magsettle sa isang lalaki,gusto ko ang problema ko nalang yung work ko at hindi yung jowa ko.You know i love you,

0 notes

wordsthatarehardtotell-blog · 5 years

Text

Dear Ram,

It has been exactly one month and two days since our breakup. I know you are doing fine because I always stalk you, I am updated with your posts to the point that I always check whether you are online. Para may idea padin ako kung anong oras ka natutulog, nagigising ganon. You post happy stuff, and even have the guts to shared posts/memes that our related to why we broke up. Until now, I still gets sad even though I planned to move on asap given na 6 months lang naman tayo at isang beses mo lang ako binati ng happy monthsary.😪 To be honest, I knew from that start that our relationship, our setup would be difficult. I am a teacher, you are still a student who are both in the same university. Having a relationship with you would compromised my job and my parents’ trust for I am not still allowed to have a jowa. I know it was super risky, but what can I do? As soon as we have our little talks, our midnight calls, and the moment I heard your corny jokes and wits, my heart eventually became happy. 😊 You are the only thing that made me get up in the morning during those times.. gigising akong maaga para may time pang igood morning ka or makipagchikahan sayo. Seriously, being a teacher is very challenging, I cried due to lack of sleep and fatigue, and I felt that my throat was bursting from talking all day. However, even though I kept on ranting how it is hard to be a teacher, I became thankful because if I didn’t became one ,I wouldn’t have met you.

You know, ever since I was in elementary I have been clear on the kind of guy that I will be dating, especially my first boyfriend. I am girl who is addicted to Disney, Barbie movies, and every story as long as there is a happy ending. Dapat mahilig sa music, madaming opinion, mahaba pasensya and super bait. Growing up, I became confident that God will let me meet someone who is kind, cute, who loves anime, who will make funny videos with me. Ang tagal ko kasing nagpapakalas kay Lord kahit na mukha kong atheist. Nagpapakabait ako, di ako lumalandi, pa isa isa lang crush ko ganon, kahit MU di ko natikman nung highschool, sinulot pako ng friend ko pero di naman ako nagalit kasi nga ayaw ni God yun. These things made me so confident that my first relationship would work out because I know God owed me one haha. Kaya pag dumating sya bibigay at gagawin ko na lahat 23 yrs in the making ka kaya. It’s so funny because looking back, I remember myself saying shits to Lara because she was devastated when she and his first bf broke up. She told me that she planned on marrying the guy who had his first kiss, yung gago nyang ex. I remember myself being so mad because she was so childish. I never realized that I would turn out to be the same girl who believe in those craps, ang galing, the joke is on me. Kinain ko ng buong buo mga sinabi ko. So Ram, where are we? ahh, what I am trying to say is that you weren’t my type nor the least of my ideal guy. You have no comment on politics, you do not listen to the animes I recommend and kept on saying that they are baduy, you do not value education nor have a clear goal in life. We are two different people, funny how fate brought us together and how it blinded me because the moment I met you, I did not care on whether you want to watch No game no life or Tokyo Ghoul, I didn’t even bother that you don’t have a stand on politics nor have an insight on the current social issues. I did not even flinch when you said that Blackpink and KPOP music is baduy. All I can saw was how funny you are whenever you sent me knock knock jokes, and how good you are in ML, and you tried your best to prolong our convo by asking questions and saying random stuff which was really sweet. I really like you alam mo un... moments passed and I think that like turned to love. You would always update me wherever you go, whatever sht you were doing, the people you were with, and would always say I love you with thousands of heart emojis. I love youu, you know? Probably, making you feel that I am soo iin love with you was the biggest mistake I had ever done. As soon as you became aware on how much I love you, you became confident. Hindi kana tumatawag every night, hindi kanadin intresado kung ano nangyari sa araw ko. Lagi ka nalang naglalaro or tulog at okay lang na dina tayo naguusap. Ang mahalaga nakapagchat ka everyday, basta masabing nakapagchat lang. I knew there was something wrong but I was afraid to asked but I took all my courage and talk to you about it, remember that long message? I was too afraid on what you will reply so I ignored them and went to sleep. The following day, I read it and God knows on how devastated I was. Sana pala nasira nalang phone ko para diko na nabasa. Your reply suggests that you fell out of love. Halatang ayaw mo na. :) I don’t want to go with the details but maybe I was not afraid of confronting you, but on the fact that I know and I am sure that you don’t love me na. Sabi mo di kana masaya, di kana nageenjoy, at nahihirapan kana sa setup natin. Believe me, I understand. But you knew right? how much i love you? how much I did everything to make it work? But it’s fine. Of course, I got mad, really mad, because you will always tell me not to overthink about it, that we are good. What I didn’t realize is that yeah, we are good sabi mo nga, but as friends na lang for u.

Funny how love will fuck the shit out of you, how it will tear your heart apart, how it will

0 notes

godslittleblogger-blog · 7 years

Text

My story

“Now, Christ is the strength of a heart that once set in the dark. In His hope I’m made whole, now His freedom that saves my soul.“ I am a 20 year old girl whose height is just 4’7. I was bullied in school because I am short for my age. They would make fun of me whenever I speak in front, underestimating my capabilities because of my height. I felt bad about myself. I would tell my mom and she would always say “Pray for them, Kat.” My parents are active members of Couples for Christ. So, while I was growing up, I, together with my younger brother tagged along during the CFC activities. But I never really had a real relationship with God because my heart was in darkness. It was full of anger. I always thought that maybe God does not love me because He is allowing others to hurt me. I even got to the point where I questioned His existence because He does not answer my prayers asking Him to make others stop bullying me. I even asked Him “Lord, ngaa gin butang mo pako diri sa Earth, wala man ko di gali purpose.” I felt so lost that I was longing for love and acceptance. It was my mom whom God used as His instrument for me to know Him. My mom encouraged me to join YFC. At first I said “No” because I was so afraid of rejection. I always think that people will just make fun of me. To make the long story short, I attended the youth camp after a LOT of convincing. It took my mom 3 years to fully convince me to attend the youth camp (Yep. That long. Hahaha! That’s how patient my mom was! I love you mommy! Hihi :*) the first words i heard was “welcome to the family”. I was shocked and amazed at the same time that could not sleep that night. From then on my life changed. I met people who accepted me for who I am. Then I realized all those times God was just telling me “Kat, mahal na mahal kita. Kung saan-saan ka pa naghahanap eh andito lang Ako. Mahal kita kahit sino o ano ka pa. Remember that you are precious, my child.” I have been a member of Youth for Christ for 7 years now. Despite of the long years of knowing Him, I still get amazed how God’s love sets me free from my insecurities. I met a community that loves and accepts me for who I am. A friend in the community once said “Ano gid na kung putot ka haw? Hindi ka pa na? Dasig ka makilala and everything happens for a reason. Maybe gin allow na ni Lord para maging inspiration ka.” Indeed, I realized that if I am not short for my age, I will not be bullied and I would have not been able to feel the love of God and His embrace. I have felt the acceptance I have been longing for a long time and I have found my purpose in life. I really look forward to opportunities like this, in which I’m able to share how God worked in my life because I believe that this is my purpose; to proclaim how awesome our God is. I now enjoy speaking,giving talks in front, writing and any other possible way that i can share how amazing God is. People may judge me because of my height but it does not matter anymore, I have a God who loves and accepts me no matter what.

#god #godslove #writers #writers on tumblr #writing #blogger #love of god

2 notes · View notes