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#WOOOHOO its over
alciedoodles · 10 months
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part 7 of 7 - confessions
[« previous] [full story in chronological order]
Thank you all for reading! Especially if you've been following since day 1 lol :) as a side note, this was meant to be only 1 page per day, but the final two parts got a little out of hand... for a total of 16 pages! (9 just for this finale)
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skytlake · 2 years
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day 1 of travel: i have succesfully driven 1.5 hrs to meet my grandparents for dinner and am now spending the night at my parents. while driving i put on a playlist forgetting how short it was and listened through it twice (luckily i like all the songs). i did 2 loads of laundry bc i am a real adult and very cool. tmw...gonna watch a doctor reel in horror at my terrible eyes
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soft-spooks · 11 months
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good evening. im regressing <3
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angeldiaries777 · 5 months
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long vent (lgbt things mental illness,family, religion is mentioned, feeling guilty.) could be triggering to some i don't know. read if u want. skip if u want idc
when people use lesbian as an insult
thank you so much for noticing !!
fucking accidently went in idc mode (fellow mentally ills will understand what im talking about yk that mood and yk how intense it can be when you're over everything and resort to oversharing which makes anxiety worse) and blurted some things out to my entire family. outing myself wooohoo. i mean i'm not concerned for my safety. or anything but it could make things weird.
im a complete idiot and i say whatever i think at the moment so guess who got forced out of the closet it was so cozy being gay in peace not telling a single soul. i mean people had made jokes before about it. a lot. but i always thought how it was obvious that i liked guys aswell. which hello i still like boys. ofc I'm pretty and very feminine so its not like it was a glass closet. like now both my mom and sister have a clear picture which is so upsetting because i resented them both for such a long time and have very complicated relationships with both. and I didn't want them to know this about me because now it can be used in arguments to hurt me. its just been so casual to me thats the thing. its just been very depressing for me sometimes. coming to terms with it. nothing u haven't already heard typical gay kid. praying for it to go away back when i believed in god. promising myself to marry a guy. wanting my parents approval and validation so badly. being disgusted by my own thoughts. see to me things like sexuality or whatever are so chill and don't define how i see a person or interact with them but to others especially people from my culture its a huge deal fuck even to rando strangers and friends is a big factor on how they see you and think of you. like i've literally known since i was 4. still clearly not a fucking phase like half of the people i knew growing up. and so many people are sooo accepting and amazing. i didn't want it to define me though. because its not everything about me or my life. its just a fraction. ofc when you're a young teen figuring it out you never know. never labeled it never associated publicly with the community. but ive been thinking lately. about how i literally wanted to go my entire life without anyone finding out. or atleast be out of highschool. (not like i attend anyways) a part of me says fuck them if they have a problem with it yet its hard for me i feel like if i am not thinking about it sexually i can never have it. like there's this melancholy surrounding my attraction to girls? even guys. just myself i think i have a very negative lense about them. cynical almost. i'm not gonna rush into anything because i don't need nor want that. if i can't have everything ive wanted with whoever i choose to love one day (yes love is a choice.) then why would i want something unworthy of me as a person. anyway ive tried to research it cuz i don't have anyone to discuss it with and haven't found anything on it yet but i wanna get to the root of the pain and the guilt. fun.
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wickedgamesoyaoya · 2 years
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❧ 27. lessons
❧Masterlist - Previous - Next
❧ A/N: I love reading what everyone thinks bc it’s either like ‘wooohoo iwa!!!’ or ‘fuck this MAN’ AND I DIE EVERY TIME. 
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When Iwaizumi offered to walk you back to your hotel, the little voice in your head shifted its tone. Disgust coated the warnings that sliced through your mind and any sense of security your best friend’s words had produced was dismantled in seconds. At first when you saw Iwaizumi and interacted with him, you felt in control. You felt confident in yourself and your ability to draw lines when appropriate. The lessons associated with the athletic trainer remained fresh in your mind - you knew what you wanted from a relationship now and you would not forget it. 
The issue was that your conversation with Kuroo had created small cracks in your sense of self. His lack of belief in you had stung far more than he probably realized. You genuinely valued his opinion, and that was precisely why your mind was in a state of disorder. You valued his opinion so damn much, that the voice inside of your head was no longer yours - it was his. 
And it was for that reason why you had to accept Iwaizumi’s proposal. You had to tell the world who you were, or else it would continue to define you in a manner that you did not consider fit. 
“Thanks for not running away from me today.” Iwaizumi was the first to speak up after you two exited the restaurant. Usually he didn’t mind silence, especially during walks at night. But there was just simply too much he wanted to say to you, so he bravely broke the silence only thirty seconds into the walk. 
“I’m not the one who runs away from problems, Iwaizumi.” A feathery laugh shadowed your response, but the male could not help but feel embarrassed at the message underlying your words.  
“Yeah. I was a big idiot for that.” Rubbing at the back of his neck, he tried to resist the urge to curse under his breath. “For the last month all I’ve done is think about how badly I fucked up. How I could have avoided all of this shit if I used my damn brain.” 
And how he could have been kissing you, instead of missing you every second of the day. 
A thoughtful hum vibrated inside of your throat as you nodded to indicate your understanding. It was good to hear that he too used the time to reflect on his behaviour. People who reflected over their actions were far more redeemable than those that simply made excuses for their behaviour. 
“It’s funny because when I was younger, I never schemed with my friends. I was the only one who didn’t. And I somehow managed to think scheming would be a good idea now.” The disgust he felt towards himself could easily be traced along his features. And as you peered up at him to demonstrate that he had your undivided attention, he could not meet your gaze. “It’s crazy how you can lose who you are because of a shitty relationship.” 
Pressing your lips together, you averted your consideration towards the concrete below. Of course you knew that much too. Losing yourself in the process of trying to find love was kinda your specialty. But your time with him was truly the last straw. That was why you were prepared to take the lesson and leave forever. Or so, at least you thought you were prepared to complete the latter part. If anything, the last few hours had shown you that while you had distanced yourself from him, you still cared. 
Even though you had chosen to walk away, you were still glancing back, waiting for him to meet you again, once he was ready. 
“Not that I’m saying you’re the reason I changed! I meant my ex. Takara.” Iwaizumi blinked down at you, mentally scolding himself for leaving his last statement so vague. “She... fucked with my head so good that I didn’t realize I changed. I ignored my friends when they told me I changed. I only started to believe it when I met you. When I realized I was being an asshole to someone who deserved way better.” 
“I understand, Iwaizumi.” 
Yes, you understood him on levels he possibly could not comprehend. But did that change the history you two shared? Did that change the fact he toyed with your heart and acted like a child? Did his supposed character development mean that you should give him a second chance? 
Hell, was he even asking for one? 
“But I guess maybe you’re not asking for my understanding.” Biting on the inside of your cheek, you tilted your chin up to catch his eyes.  “Well, if you want my forgiveness, you have it.” 
To your surprise, it was not relief that washed over his visage, it was anguish. 
“I didn’t even say I’m sorry yet and you’re forgiving me?” Pausing in the middle of the sidewalk, he swallowed harshly. His chest was inflamed, and the gentle smile ghosting upon your lips only drove him further insane. 
“You may have not said the words, but I got the point.” After smoothing your palms against your outfit, you lifted your shoulders into a small shrug. 
“Don’t forgive me yet. I don’t deserve it.” Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to capture your hands in his, but he knew he shouldn’t. And to distract his twitching fingers, he curled them in towards his palm. “Let me make it up to you first. Let me show you I can be better. Then you can forgive me.” 
For a moment you merely stood stuck in your spot, unsure how to react to his counter position. A normal person would have happily accepted your forgiveness. But Iwaizumi was dead set on making it up to you - he wanted to be worthy of your forgiveness, and that fact alone had your heart beating erratically. 
“We can’t keep starting over. I don’t want to keep acting like we’re starting with a blank slate.” 
“I don’t want to start over, y/n. I don’t buy into that crap anymore. I know I fucked up, but now I want to show you that I can be better. Let me care about you the way you deserve.” His throat constricted painfully as he proclaimed his last sentence. He didn’t know how to convey his feelings in any other way. This was the best he could do, and he had to hope it would be enough. 
After another thirty seconds of silence, you slowly nodded your head. 
“Okay.” The confirmation was exhaled softly, contrasting the blood roaring inside of your ears. 
Were you giving in too fast? Oh god, why were you giving in so fast? Why did you care so much about him? Why - 
“Thank you, y/n. Thank you.” The smile twitching upon his mouth was faint but it showcased just how much your concession meant to him. “Can I ... hug you? Please?” 
After catching your second nod, he loosened his fingers and stepped closer to you. And as he brought you into his embrace, your mind was consumed by a single thought. 
Please don’t break my heart. 
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taglist: @newfriendjen @moonlightaangel @graykageyama​ @yourstarvic @chibishae34 @haikyuusimp91 @rajablast @cuddlesslut​ @elianetsantana​ @the-golden-jhope​ @camcam1617​ @dreamstormings​ @anejuuuuoy​ @boosyboo9206​ @ntimacy​ @bloody-bella​ @fantasycantasy​ @peterspizzashirt​ @galagcica​ @vintagexparker​ @criesinpisces​ @hazzaloveschopsuey​ @amarinthe​ @neologyro​ @ara-mitsue​ @navymacaroons​ @nvmnd​ @daddyissuesmademe​ @missalienqueen​ 
[if you were removed/want to be added, please leave me an ask]
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jitteryjive · 2 years
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WOOOHOO (cracks my knuckles) I have not drawn Gross Art (/pos) in a while!!!! man. all for one damn scene in crime express
content warning for the following: depictions of explicit blood, minor body horror/modification, major eye trauma, and general themes of murder.
this is not fetish art. it is a person getting mutilated ! if you think it’s just violent transformation art that caters to your fetish please kindly fuck off and don’t interact
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VICTORIA APPROACHED ME
WITH A FIRE IN HER EYES
AND I SWEAR, AND I SWEAR
I WAS BURNING ALIVE
HEY SO. I think it’s time I actually like. talked about the plot of crime express?????
yeah so what I always meant by “it’s a murder mystery but nobody dies and a crime’s committed hahaha!!” is because the plot is that. except. the crime committed is “someone who’s carrying a bullet containing a serum/drug is picking people to ‘cure’ and mutilate with their bullets” and the detective frantically tries to stop this because the exact same incident happened the last time on the same train and she couldn’t prevent this last time
OKAY. OKAY. let me go back. you know how there’s humans and toons. there aren’t a lot of toons and humans and toons are generally conflicting because of ongoing speciesism between them and because toons can shapeshift very very lowscale (oh you know. cartoon physics LOL) like. hundreds/thousands of years ago humans thought they would use this ability to wipe out the human race and therefore like a fucking war happened and shit. I haven’t figured it out but basically there is very bad tension because human ancestors were fucking idiots
and the reason why someone is going around and mutilating specific humans into things called artificial toons (toons that can’t shapeshift and were artificially made by the antag of crime express but shittily so like. there’s a lot of malfunctions involved ie this guy, mason, etc. like limbs will be permanently broken or they’ll go deaf, etc) is because they think. hey this person who is a huge disrespect to toons should learn what it’s like to be treated like scum constantly ! (nuts kicking sound effect) also that’s why it’s called ‘curing’ according to the antag because they believe doing this is curing the population of humans. fucked up shit I know rigjt
BTW this is the british guy his name is Julius Cuccumb B) (he/him) love him so much his only flaw is that he’s bri’ish
his name is a pun because. julius as a ref to julius caesar (who we all know was murdered supposedly by a friend of his) and cuccumb as 1. he looks like a cucumber since he’s a fucking twink dressed in green (ONCELER /JJJJ) and 2. succumb. as in. he’s ‘cured’ first. (yeah it’s mostly a he dies lol pun)
+ lazy ref of the guy I made before he gets cured
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other than that. I hope that clears up the weird mysterious haze I had over crime express. yes! it’s a weird fucked up body horror story that aligns with most murder mysteries! with its own lore of course, could never forget that >:)
ALSO NOW THAT IVE EXPLAINED THE PLOT the crime express song ever [victoria by jukebox the ghost]!
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demoiselledefortune · 3 years
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Post canon sangcheng fic recs for @runespoor7
(wooohoo that’s only 25 fics haha)
Silence by inberin
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441771
a conversation in the snow.
Wonderfully nuanced characterisation. It hints at whole relationship and dynamic with a lot of delicacy.
Windrose by offlight
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997546
Nie Huaisang is forced into a coma to stop his qi deviation. Jiang Cheng is tasked with waking him up.
There’s a lot of intriguing dreamscapes in this one, and I love Jiang Cheng (and in the background Wei Wuxian)’s desperation and obstinacy.
All the innocence we give by shamiran
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864910
Learning to renavigate the ground between them is easier than Nie HuaiSang expects. It's also harder than he could have imagined.
Just a sweet story.
Taste the wine off your lips by ExNihiIo
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129245
A light pat lands against his back, and a cup of water is pushed in front of his face. “Not even Zi Shi, and you’re already tipsy?,” asks a teasing voice, while a thin hand puts down the cup. Jiang Cheng coughs a little more, shaking his head, and sends a dirty look at his host. “I am not tipsy.” “Hm, and yet your cheeks are all red. What would your disciples think, if they saw you in this state?” “They’d think about running away while they can. I can break legs more easily than I can drink alcohol.” A smile curves the edges of Nie Huaisang’s mouth, and he closes his fan with a curt jerk, sitting across the table. He’s wearing lighter clothes, Jiang Cheng notices, compared to the ones he had during the Discussion Conference. Where those had been tight and rigid against his body, these now fall softly on him, the large sleeves sweeping delicately as Nie Huaisang moves to pour himself a cup.
I like the melancholy tone of this one.
The light of autumn: you will not be spared by crooows
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901467/chapters/47138221
Nie Huaisang arrives a week early for the conference which will be held in Yunmeng to discuss the position of chief cultivator.
[Title is from a poem called "October" by Louise Glück!]
A bit funny, a bit melancholy
You can run but you can’t hide by ThirtySixSaveFiles
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21119297
Nie Huaisang has noticed something about the way Jiang Cheng takes compliments; Nie Huaisang has a theory, and he intends to test it out.
Just Huaisang figuring out Jiang Cheng has a praise kink. Established pairing.
Evening Bloom by dragonofeternal
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958518
Jiang Cheng is spry and lithe well into his twilight years, living well off Wei Wuxian's stolen youth; Nie Huaisang's golden core, on the other hand, has always been poor- he blacks his hair with ink and dyes, hides the pudge of indolence and the wrinkles of age behind the latest fashions and the finest fans. Perhaps for their peers, finding the space to be vulnerable came easy, but for them it's taken this long to maybe think of letting someone in.
I have a big weakness for stories about old people falling in love and this is one delivers very sweetly.
Four Days in Lanling by Halotolerant
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21722695/chapters/51817036
Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’
‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’
Ok so perhaps it’s misrepresentating to call this a post canon fic  since most of the action is mid-13-years-of-WWX-death but the fairly important framing part is post canon. Also it’s one of the best sangcheng fic out there and a must read.
Shadow eternal by rynleaf
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23162944/chapters/55439032
“You want me to distract the Chief Cultivator from the Annual Cultivation Conference, so you and other sect leaders can… what. Sign contracts without adult supervision?”
“If Jiang-zongzhu is amenable,” Sect Leader Ouyang repeats with a nod.
Jiang Cheng pinches the bridge of his nose. The pressure he felt building behind his eyes all morning is swiftly coalescing into a bitch of a headache. “Just what do you all think I’m capable of?”
Sect Leader Ouyang bows with a cheerful smile. “We have utmost faith in Sandu Shengshou’s abilities.”
-
In which a night hunt ends in disaster, Jiang Cheng catches a glimpse of Nie Huaisang's heart, and feelings are discussed after a certain fashion.
One that’s between sweet and angsty.
The way is shut, and we cannot go back by saltedpin
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23592523
One month since Guanyin Temple, and some people are coping better than others (or not).
This one is a mostly sad and bitter take on Jiang Cheng reacting to Nie Huaisang’s plot (and being very drunk).
Living memory by ghosthouses
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24827980
Once Jin Guangyao has left, he gives himself two indulgences. The first, a day to scream in his rooms made soundproof with a talisman. The second, a physical list written in code, to keep his older self, who will have let the pain dull with time, accountable for what must be done.
It has only two commandments:
He will die.  
and 
He will know.
Nie Huaisang puts it in his sleeve with the intention of keeping it with him at all times, to be added to but never reduced, a living memory of his task.
This and its prequel which you should also read is quite short but probably one of my favorite depictions of their dynamic (and probably one I find most plausible).
What’s Left of us by cangse-sanren
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979081
“Well,” Huaisang tries hesitantly, “both of us seem to have a rather fraught relationship with things like older brothers and the concept of betrayal. And regret,” he adds as an afterthought. "Perhaps you just understand me more than most."
Yet another that dwells into Jiang Cheng reacting to Nie Huaisang’s plan. I really like that take although it’s barely shippy (and quite short).
Descending by lightningwaltz
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25296595
“I want to… to not be embarrassed.”
“To not be embarrassed during what?”
“During sex.” There. Jiang Cheng can say it. “In general. Also with you right now.”
“Very good.”
“When did you become so authoritative?” Jiang Cheng wants to sound irked, but can’t quite manage anything beyond nervous curiosity.
Very interesting fic and in many ways unusual. I’d say it’s hypnosis kink, but it’s much more character driven than that. With a context of established FWB arrangement between Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang.
Tell him that I miss our little talks by xiaolongbaobei
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232023
the post-canon fic where Jiang Cheng becomes the Chief Cultivator, realizes that it's not too late to fall in love and learns to ask for what he wants
Longish fic exploring Jiang Cheng as Chief cultivator working with Nie Huaisang and slowly falling in love with him. I adore this one, and not only because I love fics that explore the idea of Jiang Cheng as chief cultivator.
Blind for Love by manamune
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760272
Jiang Cheng is poisoned with an aphrodisiac and needs to orgasm repeatedly in order to flush it from his system.
The first person he thinks of going to for help is Nie Huaisang, who does what any good friend would do: he shoves his three decades worth of feelings for Jiang Cheng deep into the recesses of his mind, locks them up so he can pretend they don’t exist, and then fucks him so hard that he passes out.
Mostly a long smutty piece, but with a lot of fun character bits along the way.
A Tight-Knit Family by aldalin
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25500481/chapters/61862899
“Jing Ling, we need to talk.”
Jin Ling has too many uncles, and he’s about to get another.
Sect Leader Jiang announces his marriage to Sect Leader Nie.
A fairly different take, more focused on Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian reacting to Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang’s relationship.
A trip to Qinghe by Scorpiwriting
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26974741
An unexpected hunt forces Jiang Cheng to leave the Lotus Pier a bit earlier than he had anticipated, so he decides to send Jin Ling to Qinghe, for the sake of not sending him back to Lanling so soon: it turns into a learning experience for the young sect leader, who gets to peek into the life of the Headshaker.
or.
Jin Ling learns that not everything people say is true and that perhaps there is some merit to art. He also learns that loneliness is a dark beast and that his uncle should definitely do something about it.
Another one more focused on Jin Ling’s reaction to it. Honestly more of a gen piece about Jin Ling and Nie Huaisang, but an interesting one.
Silver bracelets on their wrists by mercurious
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797715
“Can’t I find excuses to visit an old friend?”
Ok so this one is a bit fucked up in interesting ways. It combines Chief Cultivator Jiang Cheng and explicit longing about Wei Wuxian, and BDSM as catharsis. It’s a fascinating piece.
Welcome to love by amphigoric
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22412866/chapters/53549794
Desire, Jiang Cheng learned, flourished even in love’s absence. It surged hot and fast through his veins at the sight of Nie Huaisang’s spread thighs, marks still lingering from the last rendezvous they had. He felt it burning through his chest as Huaisang raked lines down his back, breaths coming in short, desperate gasps: “Jiang Wanyin, Jiang Wanyin, please, please.”
It’s a little bit clumsy at times, but also very passionate and intense in a way I still find compelling. Featuring a lot of self sabotaging Jiang Cheng.
When your stitch comes loose by heyninja
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27868454/chapters/68234434
Sometimes people see you for who you really are. Sometimes because you let them. Sometimes whether you like it or not.
A triptych of collisions between Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng.
Only the last part is post canon but it’s the most important part, isn’t it?
Peel your heart like a pomegranate by Izumi_silverleaf
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458974
"It's an extraordinary feeling when parts of your body are touched for the first time. I'm thinking of the sensations from sex and surgery."
Sometimes you just need to read a very hot guro fic. It’s a weird fic but it’s a cool one.
If you give a Nie a cushion by LesbianLazerOwl
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470236
Prompt: Long enough After Canon that everyone's mostly okay these days, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang get drunk and wind up comparing masturbation habits; each is aghast at how the other spends their personal time.
Funny and hot
To Distraction by isozyme
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763816
It’s the third night of Yunmeng’s kite festival celebrations. Nie Huaisang has come visiting, eager to partake in the food, the arts, and Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng wants to forget. Nie Huaisang has some new lube and wants to see if he can put his whole fist in somebody’s ass.
Established pairing in which Nie Huaisang fists Jiang Cheng. It’s hot.
Safe in Your arms by Dragon_scribe
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30070503/chapters/74058315
In the aftermath of a night hunt gone (very) wrong, Jiang Cheng wakes up to find himself in the Unclean Realm. As he recovers from his injuries, he and Nie Huaisang grow closer and as time passes, their friendship begins to shift to something more.
Very sweet/sappy and hurt/comfort orientated, with a small bit of reconciliation dimension too.
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audiovisualrecall · 5 years
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*jumps to the end of creepy fic to find out what happened*
*gets curious about How it happened*
*read most of fic from the bottom up and down in portions*
*is thoroughly creeped out as expected, regrets the choice*
#well i read one creepy fic before and was convined the whole time one or both characters wwre gonna die#and then this one is psychological horror instead of just horror and i am creeped out and unsettled and not satisfied because i didnt reread#the happy ending part before closing the fic... i think is why i have this unsatisfied feeling...or maybe it felt very abrupt like we dont#get to find out how the character is actually going to deal with their fears in reality And they didnt tell rheir partner about the freaky#messed up nightmare#and thats..#not going to just go away like its going to be a problem when he goes to sleep or just generally in terms of fears#reassuring him its going to be fine isnt gonna like. rid him of the fears that created that horrible nightmare...#idk so it was a tiny bit unsatisfying but i think if i reread the ending anyway id be more okay about it - closing the fic when the nightmar#nightmare was in full swing didnt help anything#anyway so im creeped out and unsettled and anxious wooohoo#reasons i dont like horror usually is because anxiety + active imagination = trouble#the thing is i am also incredibly curious so a good story that sounds interesting will occasionally catch me even tho i know its horror genr#genre* aaaand the issue is once i start reading or watching something i Have to find out how it ends and know everything that happens otherw#otherwise my brain fills in the blanks#but either way my brain obsesses over it - usually if its a movie its much worse fhan a story - and makes me anxious#and often - mostly again just with movies - i end up having nightmares about it#including with me as a part of it#or ppl i care abt#i have very vivid dreams and nightmares
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dijayeah · 4 years
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Chapter 24 IS OFFICIALLY OUT! Took a bit longer to sort out the proof-reading situation, since its such a long chapter, but we are finally here! The chapter is over 12k words (a new record wooohoo!), so enjoy your 30 minutes of feels. I can’t wait to see all of your reactions!👀
Rating: Mature
Read on: FF.NET and/or AO3.
Chapter 24:
He couldn't help her even if he wanted to. It wouldn't work, not now, not ever. He also knew that his cousin would've agreed to her deal at this very moment, there was barely anything he could hide from Itachi. He knew him too well.
She stared at him, the greenness of her eyes almost making him forget what he is about to do.
"Sakura stop staring. There's nothing to say."
"What do you mean? There is SO much to say! For starters, I'm sorry, you don't have to do this, please don't hate me - "
"None of that is necessary. I already know all that. And I don't hate you."
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ak47stylegirl · 4 years
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Life Changes: Chapter 16
Chapter 16 is done! wooohoo! XD 
This fic is dedicated to @gumnut-logic (also thanks Nutty for letting me use Jack XD) 
The rest of the chapters can be found here. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! XD
----
Virgil pov
He rolled over in bed, staring blankly out at the city skyline; the sun having risen long ago. Three days have passed since that dreadful night, and Alan still hasn't woken up. 
Their baby brother had fallen in to a coma. 
The doctors had started to suspect that Alan could have suffered undetected brain damage, ordering brain scans to be performed. And as it became clear that Alan wasn’t going to wake up any time soon, the hospital had moved him to a more secure, more permanent room in the ICU.
Where they could visit him freely and without restrictions on how many of them could see him at a time. Kayo had also doubled their security immensely in the last couple of days, doing background checks on all of the hospital staff. 
And it was no surprise to any of them that Dr Jim Smith was on the list of ‘don’t come ten feet near Alan or you die’ list. Kayo had been very insistent on that. As well as background checks, Kayo had also (somehow?!) compiled a team of vetted and trained security guards for them.  
There were three guards standing watch outside their hotel room right now, along with two more guarding Alan’s hospital room. Plus Kayo, who insisted on protecting Alan personally and not even hell freezing over would change her mind. 
And in a sense, Kayo was also guarding Scott, who had barely left Alan’s side; only leaving to eat, sleep and take bathroom breaks. Even Grandma couldn’t get him to leave on the threat of home cooking…
Which wasn’t a threat that you take lightly, she would actually follow up on it but even that time old trick has lost its magic in the last few days. Their world was falling apart, and a little bit of burnt food didn’t scare them like it used to. 
The hospital was encouraging them to talk to Alan like he was awake and could hear them, that hearing their voices could help him regain consciousness. 
But he couldn’t even step foot in the hospital after seeing Alan laid out on that hospital bed; Neck in a brace, unable to breathe on his own, almost lifeless in his stillness. 
He had stumbled out of the ICU and into Scott’s arms, sobbing his heart out on his big brother’s shoulder. Repeating over and over again that he was to blame, that it was all his fault!
Scott had pushed him away slightly, his hands placed firmly on his shoulders with an almost furious look in his eyes. “It is not your fault, Virgil!” His brother had snapped, blue eyes ablaze with emotions. 
“There nothing-” Scott’s voice cracked, wavering slightly, “-you could have done, so please stop this…” 
He had been so startled by...well the fact that Scott had been pleading with him, begging him to stop blaming himself, that he had just nodded mindlessly. He was just so tired at that point, that he just wasn’t going to fight Scott on it.
That first night, he was in such a state of distress that the only way he was even able to fall asleep was because Grandma had chosen to sit by his bedside until he fell asleep; effectively comforting him enough that he was able to finally fall into a much needed deep sleep.
He was a complete wreck of his normal self. All while falling asleep that first night, all he could think about was how much of a failure he was. And he still was thinking that, because he couldn’t even muster up the will to get out of bed. 
It was like his mind and body had just shut down completely. Before he was feeling too many emotions; now, he was struggling to feel anything. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat…
Every time he closed his eyes, he would see his baby brother bleeding out on that gala floor or on that hospital bed, so still, so lifeless…
And with every day that passed with no sign of Alan waking, his nightmares got worse and worse. He knew John and Gordon had noticed, how could they possibly not have? They were sleeping just a bed or two across from him.
He hated that he was worrying his brothers, because why else would they be here with him when they could be at Alan’s bedside instead? He thought with a sigh, looking over at his brothers, who were sitting on the bed across from him. 
John was sitting in the corner of the bed, legs crossed as he furiously typed away at his tablet.  All while ignoring Gordon, who was spread lengthways across the bed, half-heartedly strolling through his phone. 
The room was filled with an anxious boredom as they waited for Grandma or Scott to call them with some form of news on the results of Alan’s brain scans. 
But the nearly endless wait was driving them stir-crazy…
When will they hear some news? And would they like what they may hear? If he was being honest, he was dreading that phone call. Because what if the results came back positive? 
Hasn’t Alan suffered enough? 
“Honestly!?” Gordon yelled, causing him to jump and look over at his brother, who was glaring at his phone. “you would think they would have better things to report on then our family!” 
“Unfortunately” John lowered his tablet with a weary sigh. “Anything happening to our family is front-page news to those people..”
Gordon scowled, throwing his phone down on the bed; missing John by a thin margin. “Well, I don’t care if it's front-page news or whatever, why can’t they just say out of it?!” 
Gordon’s face crumbled slightly as he moved into a sitting portion, hugging his knees. “His face is plastered all over the interwebs John…” Gordon whispered, his voice losing its anger and in its place was an immense sadness. 
“Along with those grainy photos of Virg-” Gordon frozen, suddenly realising that he was, in fact, awake and looking right at him “Um, I mean-”   
He sighed deeply, forcing himself to sit up, “You mean those cellphone photos of me desperately trying to keep Alan from bleeding to death?” He answered almost emotionlessly as he rubbed at his face tiredly. “I have seen them already, Gords..”
He couldn’t even turn the TV on or go on his phone without getting blasted with reminders of what happened. And even then the news networks would be blasting it from the tallest skyscrapers. 
It was like it was haunting him everywhere he went... 
He frowned slightly, moving so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He could feel John’s eyes on him, scrutinising him like he was a complex math problem John was trying to figure out. He didn’t like it...
“Um...yeah, those photos…” Gordon mumbled, rubbing his arm nervously, his eyes flickering between looking at him and not looking at him; Gordon’s reddish-brown eyes filled with barely masked concern.  
Everybody has been giving him that look lately…
Gordon looked over at John, “Can’t you or Jack do anything about it? Like maybe get them taken down?”  Jack was their lawyer and a pretty good one at that. 
John sighed again, shaking his head. “Jack is already flat out busy with making sure the people responsible for all of this get life in prison..” John explained, his frustration and fury at the people responsible for hurting their little brother clear in his voice. “Doesn’t help that the GDF is being difficult…”
“Difficult?” He wondered softly; his curiosity peaked, “how so? I thought It would be clear and easy?” 
They attempted to kill Allie; the GDF should easily see that they deserved to get life in prison? 
John’s eyes flashed to him again with that same masked concern in them as Gordon’s eyes had. “You would think so, but the higher-ups of GDF are thinking of treating this as an attempted robbery gone wrong, rather than attempted manslaughter because, well-” John hesitated, avoiding their eyes. 
“Because?” Gordon questioned.��
John sighed wearily, looking up at them with a deadly serious expression, “-Because apparently to them there isn’t enough proof to prove that Alan getting shot was intentional...” 
His eyes widened in horror. 
What?!
“What?!” Gordon exclaimed, jumping up from the bed in outrage “Not enough proof?! Alan is in a coma and paralysed because of that asshole!” Angry tears had gathered in Gordon’s eyes. “Maybe even brain-damaged! How is there not enough proof?!” 
He stood up and walked over to the window, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and keep some kind of control over himself; what happened to not feeling anything?
Deep breaths Virgil, deep breaths... 
“What about all of the witnesses?” he questioned, facing away from his brothers as he glared out the window. “Everybody saw it, you…” his voice shook “you couldn’t miss it if you tried..” 
Alan’s terrified eyes, a flash and a loud bang. Allie on the floor, blood everywhere; baby brother crying in pain. That man laughing...
He gripped the windowsill tightly, glaring out at the skyline, “Everybody knew why, it wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t a stray bullet…” He took a shaky deep breath, feeling his eyes fill with moisture, “He looked right at me and said ‘International rescue couldn’t save my sister from being paralysed, so now I’ll return the favour!’” 
He turned to face his brothers, both their faces bleached pale; Gordon’s more than John’s. This was the first time he has spoken in detail about what transpired that night to his brothers. “There's no way that wasn’t intentional..”
“They’re going to get what they deserve Virg, Jack and Lady Penelope are confident of that…” John spoke, his voice taking on a gentler tone, the tone he uses when he’s talking to distressed and panicked rescuees. 
He hated the fact that John felt the need to use that voice on them, on him...
“It may not seem like it but…” John’s shoulders dropped, his brother’s eyes filled with exhaustion. “But it only has been three days since that night; court cases take time...”  
“Feels way longer than just three days…” Gordon muttered softly, scuffing the sole of his shoe into the carpet. “Especially with Allie not..” Gordon dropped back down on the bed next to John, wrapping his arms around himself tightly, “you know, waking up..” 
Every single one of big brother instincts was screaming at him to go and comfort his brother, but he hesitated, and in that time, John had beat him to it.
“I know Gordy...” John sighed sadly, pulling Gordon in a loose one-armed hug; their little brother collapsing like a rag doll against John's chest with a little sniffle. 
His already broken heart seemed to break even more at the sight of their mischievous and fun-loving little brother looking so down; so drained of happiness and hope. 
Sometimes he forgot that Alan wasn’t just Gordon’s little brother but his best friend as well. How didn’t he noticed that he wasn’t the only one that wasn’t dealing well with Alan's injury?
The self-hatred he was feeling towards himself seemed to double at that thought. 
“They’re not going to get away with this Virgil; I promise you that..” John promised, aqua blue eyes looking right at him, voice leaving no room for argument. “Jack, Colonel Casey, Penny and I are going to make sure of that..”
“I know…” He sighed, running his hand through his ungelled hair, turning to look out the window again; just being able to make out the hospital in the distance. “I’m going to have to testify, ain’t I?” 
“If you’re willing and that is what you want to do, of course, you can..” John explained with an odd, almost worried tone to his voice. “but Scott, Grandma and I were talking, and we think it’s a better idea if you don’t..” 
“What?” He turned around in astoundment. Even Gordon looked confused, looking up at John with a raised eyebrow. “What do you mean, don’t testify?” His fist clenched slightly as anger started bubbling in his stomach. “If I don’t, they’ll get away-I..”
He bit his bottom lip, glancing out the window as anxiety flooded him again at the thought of those people being able to walk free. “I…I have to testify, or else they’re...they’re..”
“Virgil..” John’s voice cut through his panic, sounding incredibly sad as well as concerned.  “With how many witnesses there were, you don’t necessarily have to testify for there to be enough proof to prove them guilty..” 
“But…” He glanced back at his brothers, and the first thing that hits him is just how concerned they looked, both of them; even Gordon. They weren't even trying to hide it from him anymore. 
His fists clenched as he turned his face away from his brothers. They did think he was broken, didn’t they? Why else would they be acting like this? 
“We just don’t want to push you too far by forcing you to relive that night, Virg” John explained gently, “you have been through a lot these last couple of days after all..” 
Understatement of the year, he thought with a scoff. 
John continued, “and we don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you have been..” 
His eyebrows furrowed, the anger starting to bubble in his stomach again. He wasn’t the one that was hurt, what was John going on about?! Alan was the one that was hurt! 
Not him! He thought as he gripped the window sill tightly, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to push his anger down. He didn’t understand why he was getting so angry at his brothers; they were worried about him because they cared.
But maybe he wasn’t really angry at them but more at himself? Because deep down, he didn’t feel like he deserved their worry; he was the one that had let their baby brother get shot after all. They should hate him...
Like he hated himself...
“That’s why we think testifying in front of all those people, including the guys responsible for this, isn’t such a good idea..” John explained, his voice filled with brotherly concern; which just seemed infuriated him more. “Especially when you don’t necessarily have too..”
Things went silent for a moment; like his brothers were waiting for him to say something, but he wasn’t in the mood to talk, he didn’t trust himself not to start shouting if he did.  
John sighed, sounding slightly disheartened “Scott wanted to be the one to talk to you about this, he thought you’ll probably take it better from him than anyone else..”
He rolled his eyes, looking out at the skyline. Of course, Scott would want to be the one to talk to him. That was typical Scott, always wanting to be the one to shoulder the burden. 
But that meant that even Scott, his best friend, though he was..was broken? He realised with a shaky gasp, a feeling of betrayal missing into the anger he was feeling. Sure John had mentioned Scott being a part of this before, but the meaning of it all was only just hitting him now...
“I’m not made of glass…” He whispered tensely as he turned to face his brothers, anger seasoning his voice like a strong chili, hot and burning. “So will you please stop acting like it?!” 
His voice had raised to a shout, like he feared it would; but right now, he didn’t care. John’s eyes hardened a touch, but they were still filled with that same concern that filled him with rage. 
Gordon flinched, brown eyes wide with startled fear and concern, “Virg, John was only saying-”
“I know what he was saying, Gordon!” He snapped at Gordon and instantly regretted it as Gordon’s eyes filled with hurt. “Gordon I-”
“Forget it..” Gordon muttered as he got up from his position on the bed, “I’m going to take a bath; closest thing I'm going to get to a swimming pool for a while..” 
The shared bathroom door slammed shut. 
“We're just trying to look out for you, Virgil..” 
Just as fast as his anger appeared, it disappeared just as fast; maybe even quicker, leaving him feeling empty and hollow once again. He turned to look at John, feeling horribly lost. 
“I..i know, I just-” Suddenly being stuck in a room with the people he had just yelled at, was too much for him to take. “I’m going for a walk, call me when you hear news…” 
Then he ran, only stopping long enough to put his boots on and grab his phone before he was out the door; not looking back. 
He was getting really good at running away it seemed...
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amandaj718 · 4 years
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Apartment moving in update! 
My bedframe is coming today. My pots/pans, silverware and containors have arrived yesterday. My mom has gifted me with her small Kitchen Aid mixer as well. Oh and the living room rug is appearing today or tomorrow as well. Also have my shower curtain. So, after work today I’m heading over to bring in the bed frame and everything else. Set up slowly. 
The bed is arriving on the 6th so soon my place will have a bed! WOOOHOO.
Saturday, my mom and I are going to Bob’s Discount Furniture super early in our masks (to beat any crowds) to look at kitchen sets and maybe a couch. We found one at Ikea but the delivery times aren’t...the best. The ealiest we can get is August 28th. So, if we can get a similar version/priced couch at a place nearby with a better delivery time that would be best but whatever. I’m fine with August 28th. 
Its all so overwelming but I’m getting there. Slowly but surely. 
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andimackconfessions · 4 years
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hellohello
I have not logged into this account for months but I finally finished AM about a month ago bc quarantine + free disney plus trial wooohoo and i just gotta say
although the show had its problems it was so great overall :’))) i feel like this is what they tried to do with gmw but failed miserably (and i say this as someone who loved gmw while it ran)
i loved how the stories and issues it addressed were never all magically resolved over one episode and actually spanned over the entire series and i hope disney does more of this stuff in the future if they havent already started!
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Time flies when you’re having fun!
Hiya everyone, Hannah here!
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So here’s a little low down on my first crazy, colourful year at Alice and the Hair (I know a year already, I still can’t believe it myself!)...
As some already may know my life was totally different before I started my adventure here, I cant believe just 12 months ago I was a Manager of a flower company call centre with only dreams of being a stylist. One year ago I made the biggest decision I've ever had to make... to change my career! I can’t honestly believe that in this short space of time I’m already well on my way to making that dream I once had a reality whilst loving every single day of it too. I now love my ‘job’, creating beautiful hair everyday for the most lovely people and this is only the beginning...
I’ve been keeping super busy, cramming every bit of time I have with training. I’m attending derby college (the roundhouse) every Monday afternoon, where I do practical sessions followed by theory sessions. I have now passed six of my written exams (first time)...wooohoo! Alongside this I train in the salon every Thursday afternoon, everything from colour, cuts, up do’s, gents, theory and so much more! With the help of my fellow hares, I now have so much knowledge behind me that I would of been totally oblivious too just 1 year ago. These girls have taught me the ‘Alice and the Hair way’ and shared all of their skills with me, which I will be forever grateful for. They have made what felt like a daunting decision at the beginning, into the most rewarding, inspirational and fun experience that I could have ever wished for. As many fellow hairdressers may well know, when you are training this can sometimes be the hardest part of becoming a stylist, but for me I’ve loved every minute and this is down to the amazing team we have here. We have the best bond between us, a combination of friendship and amazing work ethic, I couldn't have imagined anything better, it just works!  
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I never thought I’d have the opportunity to get involved in so many of the amazing things I’ve done so far. I was honoured to be asked to assist backstage at London Fashion Week alongside side the incredible brand R+Co. It was such a great experience to work the madness backstage as it’s a totally different atmosphere to being in the salon. Laura and I travelled down together and helped to create these looks on the beautiful models walking the catwalk! The fast pace of the day was something I had never experience before, but something I loved the feeling of. After finishing looks we ran downstairs to backstage for any touch ups, then back upstairs for the next look, as you can imagine the day flew by like a flash!
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We also had an in salon competition in the summer. This was basically just to let our imaginations run a little wild, for a chance to win a colour course... besides who doesn’t love a little bit of healthy competition? For me this was a real confidence tester, I loved every single moment of creating my look from idea planning, my mood board to finished look on the day, but for me standing up and presenting my own work in front of an audience was terrifying! I was nervous the whole week running up to the day and I can’t even tell you what my heart felt like 2 minutes before it was my turn. With the support of the lovely audience we had in from CNG salon and my amazing bunch of girls I went up there and presented my work. It's safe to say that I felt on cloud nine after I’d finished and wanted to do it all over again! Here’s a few of the pictures from the day …
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A couple of weeks ago I helped out at Lindsay's 2018 Bridal shoot. Lindsay wanted to create some Bridal inspired looks so she planned the whole day from start to finish with three models. Beth and I helped out prepping the hair for Lindsay to style, for Richard Gardner to shoot. This was a very inspiring day for me to watch Lindsay create final looks of something she’s so passionate about. In the future I would love to plan something similar to this, so watch this space! 
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My love affair with colour, where do I start? I did a lots of training last year on all types of colour services and I am now filling up my very own column with lots of lovely clients for our colour queen services. I loved art at school and I always feel that's the same with colouring hair, it’s a type of art really right? Let's take a Balayage for example, it like shading a drawing, blending it till its seamless. When you see a perfectly blended Balayage once blow dried... it’s priceless! Here’s just a few of my favourite creations over the past year.
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So what’s the plan for this year going forward? I’m currently really hammering down on all of my cuts including gents, I’m really interested in barbering too and is something I would really like to nail! All I do know right now is that the future is looking very bright and I’m aiming to be fully on the salon floor by Christmas 2018! I can’t thank everyone enough for being incredible throughout my crazy, life changing journey so far from all of our clients who ask about my training every time they visit to my wonderful bunch of girls that I get to call my TEAM ever single day!  THANK YOU!
Feel free to follow my on going journey over on my Instagram...
 https://www.instagram.com/hannahbrandhamhair/
Han x
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The Moon Circus chapter one: La fille du soleil
She was tired. Undeniably tired. Under her eyes were bags larger than those she had packed when leaving Switzerland, in her hand, a paper cup of lukewarm coffee. Her hand had cramps from holding her pen for so long.
“Ziegler, we need you at the drive-through!” Yelled her boss in her shitty earpiece, which matched her equally shitty fast-food uniform. She nodded, running over to her post. “Good evening! Have you made a choice yet?” She asked, trying her best to sound welcoming and happy. Her French was perfect, from the accent to the pronunciation. Perks of being Swiss.
Even if she had barely slept in three days, even if she got the shakes from her caffeine high. She had just gotten back from her college, where she was studying the medical arts, she barely had the time to trade her blouse and skirt for an orange and bright yellow uniform, she was already getting yelled at by five different persons. Angela Ziegler kept her voice even and joyful for the rest of the evening.
“Good evening! Have you made choice yet?” Her throat was dry, she was tired, and her voice slightly raspy, yet her interlocutor did not seem to mind in the slightest. Excited babbles of children could be heard, chanting ‘circus’ with enough energy to bring a melancholic smile to Angela’s lips. She remembered, when her little world was covered in snow, as her parents, holding her hands, stood by her sides, leading her to the circus. She fondly recalled the feel of her mother’s hand against her gloved one, or how her father laughed when he gave her piggyback rides.
She was brought back to the moment by her colleague, Hana, who looked at her with compassion. Decembers always were trying times for Angela since her parents had passed away. Sighing sadly, she resumed working, trying to keep herself focused.
Her service had finally ended, after dragging out slowly like a dying snail trying to reach its final destination. She simply could not wait to take a shower and pass out on her couch with some silly TV show playing in the background. On her way out, she waved goodbye at Hana, who was in charge of the night shifts. It was pretty cold outside, but Angela had had worse. Plus, she welcomed the freezing breeze like an old friend, as it seemed to dance with her blond hair. Angela Ziegler liked the calm, she checked her phone, it was almost midnight. She hurried back to her apartment. If she liked the Lyon nights, she certainly was much less fond of the dangerous back alleys.
She opened the door to her small lair. It was nothing fancy, but given the fact that she was living in the third arrondissement, right next to the docks, she was lucky. It had a living room with a kitchenette, a decently sized sofa who could serve as a bed in case Lena got in trouble with her girlfriend, Emily. Angela’s room was small, but efficient. A small bed, a bedside table drowning in books, notes, and a glass of water that had been sitting there for way too long to be drinkable. There also was a small desk, equally messy, with a small plant, which she lovingly named Freud, for she loved to pour water on little green Freud, chanting ‘drown, drown’. She let her bag fall to the ground, as she kicked her shoes off, jumping on the sofa, turning on TV, as she stared at the ceiling. Lord, was she tired.
She eyed the pack of cigarettes on her table. Lena gave them to her, as a ‘thank you’ for letting her stay over a week. Angela was not a smoker, not a regular one, but she could use something to take the edge off, and the smell of fast food oozing from her made her too nauseas to drink any of the cheap liquor she kept stashed in her cupboard. Grabbing a cigarette, she opened her window, pulling a lighter from the empty ashtray sitting on the windowsill. As she was smoking, her mind wandering, paying no attention to the political debate in the background, a blaring noise echoed through the street, she almost dropped her cigarette.
“What is that?” She muttered, leaning over the railing to see what was going on. “Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! Le Cirque D’Andromède is in town! Head over to Place Bellecour, and witness the impossible! Under the big top, you shall find us! Our first representation is going to be public, and completely free!” Enthusiastically spoke man in a megaphone. He was standing atop a car, which was blaring an obnoxiously loud circus music. He waved a top hat around.
Angela chuckled, he had cliché long moustache, a white cane and a black tailcoat, complimenting his pristine white shirt. The med school student checked her phone. Lena could definitely use something fun to do tonight. She called her, the brit answered almost right away. “What’d’ya need, Angie?” Asked Lena, upbeat as ever. “There’s a circus in town, first night sounds free. Want to check it out ? Bellecour isn’t that far from your place, is it?” Angela was already stripping for her shower, holding her phone with one hand, letting the cigarette fall down. “Please, I live in Bronc, that’s right next to the Jean Masset train station. I’ll be over in a second, meet me there!” Chirped Lena cheerfully. “I’ll take a quick shower and I’ll meet you at the station. Bring popcorn!” “Will do!” Angela hung up, before getting in her shower. She felt all the stress of the day wash off pleasantly. Sure, she was still tense, but she got used to this weight on her shoulders a long time ago. As soon as she was out of the shower, she tried to figure out what she was going to wear. Was it going to be casual, or classy? She had like, one good dress, and that was it. Her paycheck didn’t really cover much over the essentials.
She ultimately decided that she was too lazy to dress up, plus Lena had seen her at her worst caffeine-fueled extravaganza at 4 AM, trying to turn a semester of slacking around. She opted for dark jeans, a blue top which really brought out her eyes, and some light mascara and eyeshadow, just to pretend she actually made an effort. TV: turned off. Purse: Grabbed. Makeup: On. Ready to roll.
The streets were pretty calm for the 3rd district, which was known to house some of the city’s poorest students and people who didn’t have enough money to move to the suburbs. Still, it was a nice place. She lived Rue De Marseille, where shops almost never closed, except during Ramadan, where everything was quiet during the day, but so lively during the night ! Children playing soccer in the dead of night, under their mothers’ and the moon’s supervision. Teens smoking on the docks, carving their names in every available surface, or graffitiing the walls. Lena was a pro at that. Her nickname, ‘Tracer’, was almost everywhere in the borough, to her utmost pride. The train station was her favourite. The brit liked to go on trains, especially when she had no idea where they were headed, and just leave. Emily hated that, she once had to get Lena back from Valence, the brit still had not lived that one down.
Angela ran up the stairs to Jean Macé, where Lena was laying on a bench, watching something on her phone, kicking her crocs-clad feet in the air. “Hi there!” “’Sup Angie!” The brit greeted her with a hug. “When’s the train getting here?” Asked the blonde, sitting on the bench, as her friend let her feet lay on her lap. “Shouldn’t be too long now, I s’pose.” Lena looked as tired and dead inside as Angela, she too had to work a part time job, but it was far less classic than Angela’s. “How are things?” Miss Ziegler knew that Lena did not exactly enjoy bringing her adventures as a ‘criminal’ (after all, poor Lena Oxton wouldn’t hurt a fly). “They’re good, Jalel and I just lounged up in the HQ all day, not much traffic. Even enough time to actually turn in my assignment in time, for the first time like, ever!” Jalel, Lena’s boss, was a dear, but was not to be messed with. He was like a teddy bear which would turn in an actual bear if provoked. He /adored/ his assistant, and always made sure not to drag her into overly dangerous tasks. “Sounds great! But I am afraid your professor might have a heart attack when she realises that you were actually one time, for once.” Lena was studying animation, and her art teacher, in spite of her appreciation for the very much loveable brit, was growing more and more exasperated each time she turned assignment in late. Her current high score was two months late, she had had to dodge the teacher’s incessant calls, emails, and even had to hide in the boys’ bathroom to escape the animation teacher’s wrath. “Are we going by TGV, or are we going the wild way?” Asked Lena, knowing fully well that there were no TGVs scheduled for the day, only trains carrying merchandise or materials for the ever-expanding city that was Lyon.
“Wild way, I imagine.” Grinned the blonde, cracking her knuckles. Lena started stretching, before a distant light warned them of the train arriving. Angela sucked in a shallow breath, she had gotten slightly used to it, but before the big jump, she always got stressed out. Lena took her hand, squeezing reassuringly. They stepped back a bit, waiting for the perfect opportunity. The Brit whistled, and the two girls broke into a sprint, jumping on the train. Angela looked down as she jumped, it felt like time itself had slowed down, the tracks moving fast beneath her feet.
In this moment, she felt everything, the wind in her hair, the blood hammering her temple, the adrenaline running wild in her veins, just like the train speeding through the city. She landed on her knees, but she didn’t feel any pain. She just felt relief and joy. “Not bad, Angie!” Yelled Lena, barely audible over the wind rushing around them. The blonde giggled in response, grabbing Lena’s extended hand, pulling her to her feet. She opened her arms against the wind pushing against her. “Wooohoo!” The tiredness in her bones left, replaced with cheerfulness. Lena imitated her, the two of them started a screaming contest, knowing that nobody could hear them. They screamed in unison, in their heads, they screamed against mean bosses, late nights on papers they knew were going to be awful, failed romances, against a world that kept trying to bury them, yet, here they were: on a train, in the middle of the nights, surrounded by the city’s lights coming from the cafés, the rooftops lit with fairy lights.
Once their voices had died down, it was almost time to get off the train. “Part-Dieu’s in view!” They got to the opposite side of their wagon, trying to avoid the pieces of wood firmly held by metal chains. As soon as the platform was in sight, they ran and jumped. Their landing was not exactly smooth or elegant, but they managed just fine, rolling onto the unclean ground of the C platform. Luckily, there was no one in sight. They got up and dusted themselves off. “We should hurry, I don’t want to miss the opening!” Lena, hyper as ever, grabbed Angela’s hand, running through the train station. Angie really liked the ambiance in those late nights in the train station. People asleep on the benches, or on their luggage, the brave, daring youth vomiting in the bins, getting chastised by the personnel, or the soldiers patrolling under the Sentinelle Act.
Part-Dieu was a street away from Bellecour. They raced down the stairs, to the surprise of a few young men, trying to soothe the burn of alcohol in their system by laying in the fountains, which were luckily not turned on. They didn’t even have to raise their heads to know where the circus was. Loud music echoed through the street, along with a tremendous cheer, from a seemingly overhyped crowd.
Their steps led them to the place, and the crowd that had formed there was nothing short of massive. All around the titanic place that was Bellecour, were decorations, poles challenging the height of the surrounding buildings, with various strips of coloured cloth twirling and joining the other poles in a whirlwind of undeniable beauty. Thankfully, the spectacle had not started yet. “Oh! Cotton Candy!” Exclaimed Lena, almost running to the small stall, dragging her friend along. “I’ll never get over how ridiculous its French name is. Barbapapa.” Angela shook her head, as her friend grabbed their sticks, handing her the extremely sugary candy. “C’mon, Angie, French is the language of love, shall I say it again?” Lena wiggled her eyebrow suggestively. “Do no-” “Omelette du fromage…” She winked, as if she had dropped the smoothest pickup line known to mankind. An exasperated sigh made them turn around. A woman, clad in tight, dark green leather, and what seemed to be a huge necklace made of various leaves, feathers, and flowers. Her hair, held back in a ponytail which showed her remarkably high cheekbones. “Omelette AU fromage.” Sighed the beautiful woman, walking past them, stopping to catch a side glance at the duo. “Jolies crocs, ma belle.” Grinned the Frenchwoman, fading into the crowd. “Angie, I’m pretty sure my ovaries just exploded.” Whined the brit with a shaky voice. “For fuck’s sake, Lena.” “Exploded!” “Oxton, your gay ass is the reason I can’t take you anywhere nice.” Angela sighed, and resumed trying to eat her cotton candy without having it stick to her fingers, which was frankly impossible. While her friend was off rambling about her ovaries getting destroyed by yet another woman, Angela dragged her towards the scene, trying to avoid running into people too much. “It’s about to start, snap out of it!” Chastised the blonde, lightly shaking her friend’s shoulders. All the lights suddenly went down. The crowd went dead silent, and thank God, Lena shut up. Various noises, resembling those of a forest rose from seemingly everywhere. There must’ve been some speakers hidden in the poles’ cloths. On the scene, rose poles looking like bamboo, in a dim cloud of smoke. The first men appeared. Clad in skin-tight blue costumes, with intricate patterns which looked like scales. They gracefully split across the stage, revealing a huge man, whom looked similar to Poseidon, wearing a similarly blue costume, however this one was cut at the torso, revealing an impressive chest covered in blue tattoos, which ran up to his neck, and got lost underneath his equally impressive beard, also covered in the aqua glyphs. He rose his voice. It was not a language Angela knew, though it did sound similar to a mix of Spanish, Italian, and a few hints of French.
Then, the violins started to accompany him. The subtle melody was sublimed when cloths from the nearby polls were thrown onto the bamboos, as the acrobats started their hypnotizing dance, which consisted of intricate swirls and jumps, getting nearer to the public, studying them with their immense, child-like eyes, before promptly jumping back a few steps, as if they were afraid. Their arms moved in perfect harmony with the song, their long arms wrapped in foliage made them look like brisling bushes, moving with the wind. Then, a bright spotlight illuminated a pole on the other side of the Place. An acrobat was standing there, it didn’t take long for the two girls to recognize who it was. “It’s the ‘crocs’ girl!” Thought Angela. “It’s sugar-tits!” Exclaimed Lena, ever a one-track mind. A line from the pole she was currently standing on, with perfect pointes, as if she were a feline and not an actual human being, was linked to the main scene. Graceful as a feather slowly making its way towards the ground, quick as a leopard dashing on its prey, she pounced on the thin line. She rolled on it like it was solid ground, landing on the tight string, under the public’s delirious applause. Her skin, coloured in blue, seemed to sparkle under the limelight. She stopped for an instant, as if enraptured by the art flowing endlessly throughout her body.
In that moment, to Lena ‘useless horny lesbian’ Oxton herself, she was much more than simply a pretty face, she was an ethereal vision of pure, unaltered beauty, as she fended through the air, not unlike a falcon seeking its prey. It felt as if her lungs exalted art, in each and every subtle puff she let slip, as she danced across the thin line, her naked feet strutting, carelessly taking dips, standing on one foot, as the other carelessly dangled in the void. “Woah,” Sighed Oxton, her eyes refusing to leave the entranced woman’s lithe figure dancing across the line, her very ears refusing to acknowledge the man starting to sing in the background.
“She looks…” She didn’t even finish her sentence, completely mesmerised. Angela didn’t dare to shake her friend out of her trance, instead turning around to follow the main attraction. The man whom spoke earlier was now singing, his loud voice booming through the audience, enrapturing, enchanting people who knew little to nothing of the quality of the performance they were currently experiencing. Because such a thing shan’t be qualified as a simple performance, nay, ‘twas an experience, one which touches your very essence, leaving it forever altered. The beauty of the spectacle, the sheer elegance, art was dripping everywhere, like honey from a lover’s lips.
Angela was not exactly a patron of the arts. She was quite fond of them, sure, she even took an option in college, yet, no painting, no simple youtube video of a performance could ever match the feeling which flowed through her veins, drowning her sense with a feeling of everlasting satisfaction. Each artist, acrobat, every piece, foliage of the décor belonged there, it had a meaning, it had an IMPORTANCE.
The dancers strutting along the stage, carrying their aforementioned colleagues, whom were once terrified by the public, were now dancing a breath away from them, standing on the brink of the stage. The public, even though they perfectly could have, did not dare to touch them. The imposing man strode forward on the scene, his glorious mane dyed in various shades of blue, aqua green and purple, his voice carrying the strength of the whole company. The dancer they had met earlier jumped on the platform, landing with a graceful bounce, followed by a salto, ending in the man outstretched arm. They swung their hips rhythm for a short while, before a sharp cry stopped the whole stage altogether.
The artists looked around, jumping away from the crowd. The bamboos-like poles seemed to shake. Then, a creature, which resembled the chimera from the Greek Mythology, fell in the middle of the stage, forcing the imposing man and the gorgeous dancer to step away elegantly. “How many people are in this costume?” Wondered Lena, aloud. “Shhh…” Hushed Angela, entranced couldn’t move her eyes away from the scene. A man, shirtless, flaunting his flawless body, rock-solid abs enhancing an already entrancing silhouette. His dark skin was covered in white war paint, he was walking like a gladiator in an arena. He came to an eye-level with the chimera, growling loud enough for Angela and Lena to catch it from where they stood. He raised his fist, preparing to strike, but suddenly, both him and the beast knelt. A woman, clad in dark red and black from head to toe made her way between the both of them. Her face was covered by her hood, in her hands, she carried two lanterns, oozing purple smoke, adding to her already frightening aura.
“We get it, you vape.” Snorted Lena, not even realising that Angela didn’t even hear a word she said, her eyes almost forgetting to blink, too focused on the spectacle. She dismissed the Gladiator with a flick of her wrist, before running her hand against the beast’s flank. The beast seemed to shudder, whining for everyone to hear. The impressive man left the blue-skinned acrobat, trying to push away the wraith-like creature from the distressed animal.
With a twist of her finger, the man fell to his knees in front of her, as his comrades gasped in shock. She flicked his forehead, causing him to stumble backwards. She pointed an accusatory finger at the man, before gesturing to the blue skinned acrobat. The woman collapsed on the spot, her long hair falling over her face. The other dancers slowly stepped back, some of them running towards the poles, climbing them up, resting at the top like lemurs. Just one remained by the fallen dancer’s side, rocking her in his arms, seemingly weeping. The singer wailed, as the violins’ strings joined his voice, in a requiem-like mood.
The hooded woman, with a lift of her pinkie, invited the fallen beauty to rise, which she did, grabbing her companion by the collar, effortlessly flipping him over, her hands around his throat, strangling him. The blue-skinned woman then joined the mysterious figure. The latter grabbed her smoke-oozing orb, bringing it to her lips, inhaling some of it, before letting the smoke go in the fallen beast’s nostrils. It promptly got up, its previously cream-coloured fur turning a twisted shade of grey, before charging an acrobat. He jumped over the ferocious beast, evading his hit. Its lion head roared at the public, before turning tail, exposing his back, which bore a goat head where his spine met its rear, and most importantly its tail, an enormous snake head, which hissed menacingly. “You know what this reminds me of. Eww, that’s why I’m a lesbian.” Commented Lena, still not deterred at her friend’s lack of response. The hooded lady offered the dancer her arm, and they left together, walking among the forest of bamboos, as the man, rose to his feet and raised his voice, now thunder-like. The artists, hanging on their perches, jumped to the ground, bouncing on their feet, as if there were springs underneath them. They started to run in circles around the singing man, the tempo increased, the hammering of the acrobats’ feet on the stage sounding like drums of war, as the impressive man’s voice grew louder and louder.
The public saw a grapple falling in the middle of this mosh pit-like circle. The man, holding the line with a death grip, showing off his imposing musculature. The violins simply went insane, the musicians, appearing perched atop the poles all around Bellecour, in an orchestra of grief-fuelled wrath. He rose to an incredible height, the climax of the scene was his vertiginous fall. Right as he was about to hit the ground, the music stopped dead in its track with a final bang, the subjects fell to the ground, leaving him standing there, on one knee, his strong fist against the ground. The crowd was silent. He got up, his hair hiding on of his eye. He walked up to the end of the stage, standing on the edge. “This, is not the end,” He started, his shoulders heaving menacingly with each breath.
“Merely the beginning!” As he ended his sentence, fire sprouted from the bamboo poles illuminating Place Bellecour. The lights remained for a few seconds, before the fire died down. The public was cheering, clapping enthusiastically. The whole stage was in the dark, before some dime lights revealed the whole cast, bowing to the audience. “Where’s the hot chick?” Asked Lena, looking frantically on stage.
A noise similar to one of a zipper made them turn around instantly, ever so mindful of pickpockets. “Why, I do hope you meant ‘me’.” She was standing there, hands planted firmly on her hips. Lena was speechless, just looking at her up and down, in utter disbelief. “Your performance was incredible miss…?” Asked Angela, extending her hand, which the acrobat shook with in a most firm handshake. “Amélie.” Confidence was practically oozing off of her. “A pleasure Amélie, I am Angela, and this is Lena.” She pointed to her lust-struck friend. The brit seemed to regain her composure, extending her hand, expecting a handshake. But the Frenchwoman gently took her hand, bringing her lips to her knuckle, leaving a feather-light kiss upon it. “Heureuse de faire ta connaissance, ma belle.” She smirked, as Lena sported 50 shades of red on her face, ears and neck. “The mine is the pleasure.” Blurted out Lena, to Angela and Amélie’s hilarity. The acrobat reached in her more than generous cleavage, to reveal a sticky note. It had a number written on it. “Gérard is going to give out a speech, it should cover the basics, I do hope to see you around at the Moon Circus.” She stuck the note on the gay mess’ cheek, before kissing the other one, pretty close to her lips.
She turned around, raised her arm to a nearby pole, and grappled away. “I hate to see her leave, but bloody hell do I love to watch her go.” Whispered Lena, in awe. “For fuck’s sake.” Sighed Angela, recovering the sticky note before the brit could forget about it. The man Angela had seen earlier appeared on stage in a cloud of smoke.
“Ladies and gentlemen! We are delighted to hear that you appreciated our opening! However, I must inform you of a most tragic news for us, but a truly interesting opportunity for you! Due to the snow blocking the air traffic, a lot of our artists had to cancel. If you have any particular skill, visit us next Sunday for the auditions. Weeeeelcome to the Moon Circus!” His moustache moved with each word he said, speaking in a microphone bearing a similar one. The crowd cheered some more, as paper and leaflets flew across the sky, shot by some cannons which were hidden under the stage.
Lena caught one, looking it over with interest. “Want to apply, Lena?” Angie looked over her friend’s shoulder. “You could, I mean, you’d be bound to earn more than you do at that crappy MacDonald’s. Didn’t you study this before?” Asked the brit, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “I studied Les Arts Du Cirques back in Switzerland, yes, but I am afraid my level of skill is not what they’re looking for.” “There’s a role you’d be perfect for.” Stated Lena, showing her the leaflet. “And what would that be?” “La fille du soleil.” “Your French is fucking awful, Lena.”
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enaasteria · 6 years
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I'm done with work for today! Apartment, here I come! ♥ // runs and hugs Ahri & Sehun :") // Also, I still feel like I annoy you all day with my asks. 😹🙊 Do I? *sad pup eyes* I'll try to hold in my emotions a little more, I promise. I don't wanna bug you LOL. 🙈 P.S. I finished my studies early today to work on my Ksoo story, and I DID IT. Finished it. 1,034 words. Edited it too. I wish I had someone to read it once and give me constructive criticism before posting it. I'm scared af please. 😔
Yay! Congrats on finishing your work and I’m so impressed!! You actually inspire me to do my work too and I did and adulted and I went straight back to writing after I was done so wooohoo!! AND NOOO. Really---you don’t annoy me at all. please don’t think that EVER. Readers with insight on chapters never, ever annoy me. I greatly appreciate them and wish I can do more than just scream back at you over your messages. I’m sorry if I take a while answering them. I usually try to answer asks in batches so I don’t spam dashboards. I got hate mail over it one time and I’ve been self conscious over it ever since.
CONGRATS ON THE KYUNGSOO STORYYY. What’s the premise? And ask one of your followers to beta read it! I usually do that with some friends or followers when I get stuck on a part and ask for their advice.
More under the cut!
// Chapter 11 - RIP my angst loving heart, you've done well // it was a lot to take in. I love how you played with the binaries of love and heartache, by having Sehun and Ahri stargaze in one scene, and then him going off to Yul in the next one. It created that perfect mosaic of human sentiments and vulnerabilities for both of them, and in fact, we saw more of Myungsoo, Soi and Sehun's mum. Even Seyong and Yul. The storytelling was such a treat, too! I cry every time Ahri hurts. :'( My heart. 💔
Yessss!!! Angst!! It’s where my heart lives and I hope you enjoyed 11. I really wanted to show their dynamic and how Sehun, as much as he wished to, still can’t move on. I find that kind of behavior very real in people and it’s what I tried to convey in my writing that these people have faults. They’re not perfect and they do stumble on their journey. I really do enjoy all of the characters I’ve created in Apartment. They all hold special pieces of me and I’m so happy you like their little appearances in the fic!!
// Chapter 12 // I'm trying to read slower now that there are barely 4 more chapters left. TRYING. // Chapter 12 has me crying buckets. Ahri, please. 😭😭 SEHUN, WILL YOU LOOK AT HOW MY GIRL IS HURTING? Please 😢. I'm not mad at Sehun, okay a lil bit, but I can obviously see where he's coming from so I can't be mad at him for too long. It's frustrating, but it's real. Love blinds us. Especially when it's out of our reach. But Sehun please, Ahri is something else. I hope you won't let her go. :")
AHHHH 12. Not my best chapter if I’m to be honest but that’s because I’m just hypercritical of whatever I write. It is frustrating, isn’t it? That’s what I wanted to show because relationships are never a straight narrow path. They are jagged, rough, and it’s never smooth sailing. But it’s also a turning point for both of them (but also my guilty pleasure of keeping Sehun wet the entire time muahahahahahahha //evil cackle//
// Chapter 13 // I was JUST THAT CLOSE to flinging my phone off the balcony, I'm not kidding. 😭 It's 12:38 am and I'm walking on the terrace because I was crying so badly so I had to get out of my room so as to not wake my roomie up (LOL). And the moment Ahri was done speaking and she started crying and running away, I just really almost flung the phone off the terrace. 😭 SEHUN, YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING GOOD AND GET HER BACK, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE SUCH MONSTROUS PAIN. Also, heyyyyy Chanyeol! ;) ♥
Don’t fling your phone!! OMGOSHHHHH. I hope your phone is safe. They’re expensive little things and NOOOO WHY ARE U STAYING UP LATE FOR THIS FIC. sdfjaklsdjf;jdfs. I SCREAMMMM. I always tell readers to please, please pleaseee get sleep. Fic will always be here. It’s not going anymore and please rest. Eat. Don’t let this fic take away from your daily life. It’s not worth ittttt. But yessss. The ending. My poor heart. I tear up sometimes over the things I have to put her through but I hope the messages and feelings were convey properly and you feel her struggles in wanting to stay with him but her mind and heart telling her it won’t be good for her to. That she needs to step away from him for the betterment of herself.
// Chapter 14 // 1:23 am, and still crying on the terrace. I wish there was a portal to go into this universe, and I'd gladly leave everything and just get to drunk Sehun, kneel beside him and talk some sense into him so that he stops to hurting himself, and hence, Ahri this way. Then I'd take Ahri and Soi's hands and walk out of LOXE. We'd go home and analyse this situation in a way that eases Ahri's pain, but we'd probably just cry and hug and fall asleep. I'd love to do all of that. Yes. :")
OMG. SDFKJSKLDFJL:KSDF IM SO SORRY THAT YOURE CRYING BUT ALSO YASSS IM GLAD YOU ARE. 14 is such a favorite of mine. I have favorite chapters and 14 is definitely one of them. The part that I really loved about this was how Ahri asked him why he would think she would return to him when she chose the same poisons as her parents and I think that part hit him so hard that it knocked sense into him. And I love how you want to take care of the characters!! It’s just so cute and adorable and HOW ARE U JUST THE SWEETEST READERS. IM SO DSDFJKSDLFJSKLFSKLDF
/ Chapter 15: 2:45 am // So much happened. But in a way, it's life. It's always unexpected and overwhelming in all possible ways. I also wanna point out, I love how every chapter starts with a little bit of Ahri's narrative on her past. It shows how our upbringing and childhood moulds us into who we are, but also that there's always scope to transform. I'm crying about how Sehun has finally come around. HE SAID HER FULL NAME! 😭 Also, CHANYEOL.♥ I'm not ready for 16 & 17. Or for 18. I CAN'T. 😭
ITS 2AM WHY ARE U AWAKEEEEEE. WHYYYY WHYYY OMGOSH. Please sleeeeepepepepepepe. OMG. YEAH. My brain hurts when I have to think about how to start the chapters because I want them to be memorable. The same can be said for how I end the chapters too. Because these are the words that you start with but also end with so I stress over them so much hahaha. AND IM NOT DONE WITH 18 yetttttttttt. HEUNNGNGNGNG. I really wanted to finish by his birthday but that’s def not gunna happen aahahaha
// REAL!!! // And here I thought I was about to go to sleep peacefully! Professor!Ahri and Professor! Hun? Lovin' it. All I want to see is them happily, blissfully in love with each other. And happy. Ahh, that's all I want in life right now. :") ♥
AYEYEEE. It’s an AU of an AU. I loved it muahahaha something light and fluffy for my angst heart. But yassss. THATS ALL I WANT TOO. I just want all the happiness for them too. I just want to write everything with them as muses tbh puahahahahha
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