#WHAT DO YOU MEAN C TOMMY WAS IN THE FUCKING WRONG

[dr3amofagame]

it's just really fucking wild to see the way that c!dream's reputation has shifted over time. bc if we're looking at the period of time in the server where items >>>> everything, because physical damage was treated in-universe as meaning literally nothing and people were dying + killing each other in traps and for Bits and because of random skirmishes left and right, where a lot of the biggest conflicts on the server revolved around pets (and my god does c!Sapnap deserve his title as the pet-killer, by the way, this mans literally just went on rampages) mr. "notorious for his usage of items as leverage + attachments to get what he wants" actually. like. doesn't do much of that.

c!dream was known as the guy that would reliably actually, you know, not destroy your shit because he understood that leverage is useless when you get rid of it--as opposed to c!sapnap (who mostly just destroyed shit in revenge), c!skeppy ("but it would make me feel good 😊" over burning a disc), and like. gestures at the majority of the pet wars and the sheer amount of just killing people's animals that happened there. despite multiple incidents involving fake discs, c!dream was a guy that you could reliably actually trade fairly with when you proceeded with the trade in good faith (whereas c!clingy, honestly, were pretty damn cunning. looks at the hidden Spirit leather and the hidden sword.) compared to the rest of the server, the amount of permanent damage c!Dream does is quite minimal (he killed c!Tommy's horse at one point, but I'm struggling to come up with anything else--meanwhile. gestures at the pet wars jesus fucking christ people what is wrong with you guys) and the amount of leverage he actually gains over anyone after the independence war on a more permanent basis is...like. none? like literally nothing. spirit speech happens bc he doesn't have leverage. the entirety of everything leading up to him getting the disc in green festival is his quest to get the discs as leverage again in order to pull off the disc finale like. that was the point.

like honestly so much of this time period involves c!dream getting hella blackmailed and scammed in conflicts that he just did not instigate in the slightest ??? and yeah he'd fight you if you stole his shit, he'd hold your pets hostage if you held his pets hostage, but his goal was always a negotiation and compromise? even after he knew c!tommy scammed him with a fake spirit (in the same whole Incident that ends up getting c!Tommy Mellohi, both a real and fake) he doesn't go after c!Tommy's pets when c!Tommy is worried about that and the two of them are pretty peaceful for awhile there. like. ?????

#c!dream isn't the person that he ends up being overnight like my god

[kissitbttr]

bottled up

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie wishes you could see yourself the way he sees you

a/n: inspired by @florestmoon ‘s more than enough fic🫶🏻💓 i love it sm, win a date with tad hamilton and that one cassie scene from euphoria. this is not proofread teehee

—

the first time eddie laid his eyes on you, he was whipped. and there’s no turning back

you’re hawkin’s high favorite girl. with a smile that make people fall to their knees, a touch to ease someone’s pain, and a voice so angelic it would put all angels up above to shame. nothing a guy wouldn’t do just to be with you and it has been proven by several boys at school with their endless pining.

eddie believes you have zero flaw. everything about you just screams perfect.

you’re not popular by any means. nor a cheerleader but you’re friendly with others even with the basketball team. and they like you too, despite you befriending the freak of the school. there are no social groups you despise. and people love you for it. unlike him who prefers to have a small circle to keep himself from getting hurt.

and don’t let him get started with that pretty brain of yours. you’re extremely smart and manage to pass all your classes with flying colors. never once gotten a C or D on your tests. all the teachers favor you of all. also, star of the volleyball team? what’s not to like?

up until today, he still questions why you hang out with him rather than the preppy jocks and cheerleaders who have been asking you to join their gang. your answer is always a no. eddie is who you want to be friends with from the very beginning.

“good news!” you cheerfully announce your arrival, pulling out a chair from eddie’s table. “there’s a costume party tonight and i want you to come with me! I’ve listed about twenty things we can wear.”

eddie slows down his chewing to look at you with a bewildered expression. “you’re shitting me, right?”

“uh.. no?” your answer almost sounds like a question instead. “come on it’d be fun! you never go to things like this with me, and I want my best friend to be there”

eddie feels like someone stabs him in the heart hearing you call him a ‘friend’. it pains him so much to know that it’s all he’s ever going to be to you. nothing more.

“who’s party is it?” he asks, playing with his food as he leans back,

“Jacob from the basketball team” you shrug, flipping through your notebook. “here! you can be tommy lee and i can be cindy crawford. i mean, they didn’t date but they would be such a good match, don’t you think?”

we would be such a good match too, he wants to say. but he chooses not to,

“I don’t know sweetheart…” he sighs, looking down at the cut-off magazines of Tommy lee and Cindy Crawford you glued on the notebook. “it’s not really my scene.”

“the hideout is not my scene too, but I’m always there to support you and the band” you cross your arms, “tell him gareth!”

gareth shakes his head, eyes on his food as the rest of the boys snicker. “don’t drag me into this, you two sort this out yourselves”

that makes your groan and stomp your foot underneath the table. looking over back to eddie who put on a smirk and shrug his shoulders. “you’re asking the wrong people, y/n. why not nancy or robin? or Emma from your volleyball team?”

“nancy is hanging with Jonathan, robin’s working and I’m not talking to Emma right now. all she talks about is you, and I don’t like it” you grumble, popping a strawberry into your mouth,

“me? what did she say?” he asks curiously

“yes. she likes you and i don’t like that. call me selfish but you’re mine.” you respond nonchalantly, missing out on how eddie’s eyes widen. so are the rest of the boys. “so? pretty, pretty please? i don’t want anyone but you to come to the party. i promise i will do anything you want me to. i’d get down on my knees for you, right now.”

oh fuck, why did you have to say it like that? those words just send pure vibrations straight to his dick,

plus, seeing the puppy dog eyes and cute pout you have going on, eddie seems can’t find it in his heart to say no to you.

“alright sure, whatever” he tries to come off like he doesn’t care but there’s a tiny bit of happiness in him when you mentioned he’s the only person you’ve asked,

it makes him feel wanted.

with a squeal, you reach out in his direction and give him a big kiss on the cheek. which startles him but it’s not a surprise anymore. you’re just extremely affectionate. and he doesn’t know this but, Eddie is the only person you’re touchy with.

“thank you, thank you!! love you eds, I’ll see you guys later. I’m gonna go make myself busy with the outfits for tonight.” with that, you get up and bid the boys bye before rushing off out of the cafeteria and to the hallway,

eddie watches you go with a lovesick smile on his face. touching his cheek where your lips had tainted it, you’ve done it more than ten times by now. but it never fails to leave him speechless.

“you’re so in love with her, dude” jeff mentions, scoffing as he watches the long curly haired boy staring out into the open, refusing to move just one bit

he can’t even deny that anymore. Aeddie is most definitely fucked

—

a smile painted on your lips as you take a good look at yourself in the mirror. damn you look extra fine.

you had called one of your good friends earlier for some advice. thankfully she knows exactly what she was talking about when you mentioned about aiming the cher’s look.

yes, yes, you thought about going as cindy crawford but come on! who could resist cher? she’s the queen!

you’ve chosen a black floral lace bustier that compliments your breasts. and by that, it means having your tits barely covered by the material but you don’t mind. you love showing off your assets. paired with a short black sequin denim skirt and crystal platforms that your best friend would classify as ‘stripper shoes’ which you take as a compliment. strippers are hot. you refer to it as cinderella heels though.

the makeup is pretty glamorous you might say. it’s all colorful and you’ve added glitter in the corner of your eyes, topped with dark red lipstick that you know would make everyone go crazy. as for hair, you let it down naturally. no farah fawcett’s crap that steve told you to do.

as you fix yourself up over and over, there’s a sudden knock on the front door. a signature six knocks that you know very well. eddie munson is here to pick you up!

“coming!” you call out, quickly snatching your purse from the dresser and speed walk towards the door. cursing to yourself when you nearly trip over,

since your mom isn’t home, there’s no point of leaving her a note or anything like that. she’d be here tomorrow at lunch time anyway, she always does

you aren’t ready to witness the sight before your eyes when you open the door.

there he is. eddie munson in flesh. looking extremely—handsome, rockstar sexy, bite-able and…. god you can’t believe you’re saying this, delicious ?! Is that even the right word to describe someone, let alone your best friend?

“holy hell. ozzy pinch me” you mutter to yourself, eyeing him up and down to check him out.

eddie is dressed in an all-black tank too that’s tucked under his dark-washed jeans, showing off his chest and tattoos. if you could even call that a top because it barely covers anything?! who knew he could be such a slut sometimes. and he had the nerve to put his hair in a low ponytail. loose waves framing his pretty face. he looks completely different from any other day.

and—hold up, he’s wearing an eyeliner?!

“who are you supposed to be?” you can’t keep your eyes off him. he looks so good. “tommy lee?”

“close. richie sambora. guitarist from bon jovi. i figured tommy lee has been getting way overrated and i wanted to try something different” he says confidently as he also takes a good look on your appearance,

dear god, help the fuck outta him.

“a-and you are…”

“cher!” you smile, rubbing the material of your skirt. “wait a minute, didn’t richie sambora and cher-“

“dated? hell yeah! oh, sweetheart would you look at that. we read each other’s mind!”

with a giggle, you hush him up before closing the door behind you. linking your arms together as the two of you walk towards his van. cigarette hanging over his mouth. you frown at that. clearly not very supportive of him smoking but since he’s your best friend, you let him do your thing.

“don’t we look so good together! look at us. strutting and shit and about to steal the spotlight.”

he must think that you don’t understand how those words affect him and how badly he wanted it to be true.

“most definitely” he fakes a smile to hide the hurt in his heart. “most definitely.”

—

post arrival at the party, you tug Eddie's fingers towards the house despite his pleas on wanting to leave already. telling you how he changed his mind after seeing the number of people that were going to be there. yes, he hates crowds. which confuses you because this man performs in public with his band!

he keeps on whining and promising a good time together when it’s only the two of you. even tries to bribe you with an entire bag of greens he carries tonight.

but that doesn’t work.

“just for a while, okay? and then we can go and get high until the sun comes up” you hug his waist, “you’re gonna have so much fun. with me!”

eddie could only scoff, slinging his arm over your shoulder as both of you walked into the party. super freak by rick James blasting over the speakers with pretty LED lights attached to the ceilings. endless drunk chatters and laughter from the people. it’s just like any typical high school party

“i better. or else it’d be all for nothing.”

“no it won’t” you smile, “you should wear this more often. you look very handsome.”

his cheeks go hot when you feel the material of his top. “I’m nothing compared to you though, sugar” he puts his hand over his heart, pinky finger links with yours as the two of you reach the kitchen to grab a booze. “you’re going to make people’s head turns and shit. i turn around for a sec and some guy would sweep you off your feet.”

“nooo” you shake your head, pouring yourself vodka with coke into the cup and grabbing a beer for eddie. “you’re just trying to flatter me.”

“is it working?” he grins, cracking the beer open not breaking eye contact with you,

“a bit” you nod, hoisting yourself up to sit on the kitchen countertop with eddie standing in front of you. “you say that to all the other girls?”

“only my favorite,” he responds, referring to you as he sips on the cold beverage,

that makes your tummy tickle. eddie just has his own way of making you blush and create a tingling sensation through your body. he does it better than anyone you’ve come across to.

he truly is a heaven-sent.

“not that bad right? want to try some of mine?” you offer,

“i’m driving, remember?” he raises an eyebrow.

“one sip won’t kill you! when have you become a party pooper?”

“i’m not! I’m being careful” he laughs, “the principal wouldn’t like hearing his favorite student turned into a party freak, you know?”

“hey!” you slap his arm, dragging the word. “i am not a party freak. i just happen to know how to have fun unlike you!”

“you take that back” he pokes your sides, earning a giggle from you. “of course, I know how to have fun! you’re forgetting who brought the weed?”

“yeah yeah” you give him an eye roll but a smile remains on your face, “i’m so glad you came with me tonight. it means a lot to me, thank you.”

he beams at that, heart beating faster with the way you look at him. he finds your gaze so… hypnotizing. he could be so lost in those gorgeous eyes of yours and doesn’t ever want to be found.

It has been months that these feelings he has for you. they never truly disappeared, only becoming stronger each day. and he doesn’t want them to. he wants to drown himself in you, to taste every single lipgloss you have off of your mouth. to hold you in his embrace, when everything gets too much for him. he wants everything good in this world, but he doesn’t want them if you’re not with him.

and not just physically there with him but emotionally too. to tie his heart with yours because there’s no person he’d rather be.

“listen y/n, i need to tell you something—“

“hey y/n? you finally made it!”

eddie is interrupted by a loud noise coming from behind. he looks over your shoulder and grits his teeth to see Danny, one of Jason’s friends coming over. he fucking hates him. he hates his stupid blonde hair and baby blue eyes, two beautiful traits that he knows would have you falling in love.

how does he know you ask? you mentioned it to him before. danny is the one guy you have your eyes on for a while and he seems sweet based on brief conversations you’ve had with him.

he doesn’t like the sound of that. he doesn’t want you falling for another guy. he wants it to be him that you love. no one else

“danny, hey. yup i sure did!” you wave at him and watch him getting closer. “oh and I brought eddie here with me.”

danny looks over at him with a tight smile, nodding his head as a form of greeting. “sup, dude”

eddie doesn’t return it, only glaring at the jock, which he hopes you don’t see. his grip around the beer is tightening once he sees how danny looks at you. like you’re some piece of meat.

“how are you enjoying the party?” danny asks lamely, clearly not interested in small talks but you barely recognize it,

“like any other party. but the costume idea is cool. that’s why we’re going as a couple”

“oh, the two of you are dating?” danny points out, almost ready to get rejected,

and eddie wants to confirm it. to say yes to that question just so he can leave you the fuck alone and have you all to himself. he’s pissed because he can’t even get one minute alone with you at the party without some guy walking in and ruin the moment.

but before he could answer, you beat him to it. “no we’re not. just the costumes.”

danny releases some sort of sigh of relief that eddie can’t help but pick on. “oh well then can i talk to you for a sec?”

eddie isn’t stupid, he knows what danny means by that.

“uhm sorry I promised eddie, I’m staying with him for the rest of the party. plus it’s the only reason why i came here”

“I’m sure eddie can wait few minutes without you here. right man?”

one punch. that’s all it takes for him just to knock this dipshit out. but he can’t and he won’t do that. especially in front of you. despite the disgusting lust glinting across danny’s eyes, eddie knows how much you like him. and he doesn’t want to ruin that chance.

even if it means getting his heart broken. all that matters is if you’re happy.

“sure” he shoots a not-so-genuine smile. “i’ll be here.”

“are you sure? i don’t want to leave your side” you take his hand in his, giving it a squeeze

“I’m a big boy sweetheart, I’ll be fine” he jokes, pulling you down from the table. “not going anywhere.”

still, you feel unsure about leaving him. you feel bad because you did actually promise to stay with him until the two of you got sick of the party then ditch the fuck out to go have a smoke.

“okay” you give him a comforting smile. “i won’t be long”

eddie nods at that, glancing at how danny is quick enough to hold your hands so he could scurry you away from his presence. he hates it.

“come on, sweetheart”

—

you feel shy when it comes to talking to guys you are attracted to. it’s like you have no idea how to act normal around them, fear that they might look at you differently if you did one thing wrong.

and danny is one of those guys. he’s the second-star of a basketball player, popular with the ladies, and just overall—dreamy. has girls tripping over this pretty boy

he’s super nice too. letting you borrow his pen, walk you to classes, trying to pull a joke just to see you smile, and even engage in your favorite hobbies. seems like he is very much interested in you and it makes you feel hopeful.

he leads you upstairs so the two of you can have a little more ‘privacy’ because it’s far too loud downstairs. obviously you still haven’t caught his drift, thinking to yourself that danny actually wanted to talk to you. probably ask you out on a date, if you’re lucky enough?

“here. better, huh?” he smiles once you enter the dimmed light bedroom.

your mirror his expression, playing with your fingers as your eyes take a look around the place. hearing the door clicks and his footsteps from behind.

“you look gorgeous tonight.” his hands find its way around your waist making you gasp in surprise. “relax—you’re so jumpy”

“yeah—just nervous i guess.” you let out a breathless laugh before turning around to face him, lips just inches away. “s-so uhm, what did you want to talk with me about?”

his knuckles softly graze your shoulder blade and down to the side of your breast. “that can wait. you don’t mind, do you?”

“not at all” gulping when he begins to touch you like that, “j-just you know um—i can’t be too long”

he just nods, being completely dismissive. and in a second his mouth is on yours. hungrily kissing you while he palms your ass under the skirt. catching you by surprise

he’s being quite aggressive but this is what you wanted, is it? to be pushed down onto the bed while he hovers on top of you. hands roaming over your body as his mouth never leave yours.

the thing is though, this is not how you wanted it to start.

“wait wait stop” you push him off, “can we just take it slow? talk or something because i really don’t want to do this right now.”

he frowns, “what do you mean? we’re gonna talk later. come on baby, don’t shy away from me now”

danny leans back in to kiss you again but you back away. “no i know! It’s just, we haven’t gotten to know each other lately and—it’d be nice to have that”

he stares at you for a moment before standing up straight. you smile nervously, thinking that he’d agree, but instead, he scoffs. an annoyed expression taking over his face

“seriously, y/n? what the actual fuck?” you’re taken aback by his tone. not to mention the mockery laugh he heaves out.

“talk? that’s all you ever wanted to do. talk and talk! my god you fucking infuriating, you know that?! who the fuck do you think you are?!”

watching how he swiftly turns into a whole different person, terrifies you so much. something you truly never expected.

the smile drops from your face. “w-what?”

“you’ve done this to me for like—what, the third time? tease me then leave me hanging. you think i asked you to be in here because i was interested in you? in what you have to say? i don’t sweetheart” he plasters a sarcastic smile before continuing,

“wait, what do you m-mean?” fear and confusion starting to take over as you hear him voice another scoff

“god you’re fucking dumb” he hangs his head low. “you actually thought—when you talked to me about things you found interesting in is gonna make me like you? I’m only here just to fuck you, y/n not so we can be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

tears starting to form in your eyes, but you try your best to hold them in. not wanting to cry in front of him. nails digging into the skin of your palms, shoulders slumping as his words continue to pierce through your heart.

“everytime you open your mouth all i could think to myself is ‘who the fuck does this girl think she is?' y/n you’re so fucking. boring. nobody cares about that shit. i just played along hoping that i could get my dick wet but nope. shit didn’t work either.”

you watch how danny continues to throw insult after insult. ripping you apart until you have no dignity left inside. and you feel so, so stupid. stupid to think that anyone would ever like you for you. not just your body.

it hurts you that danny turns out to be someone who has such cruel intentions and you were so blind to actually see that. to think that he’d be sweet enough to ask you out and be the perfect boyfriend.

all that goes into the drain.

“i’m gonna tell you the truth since everyone is a little too chicken shit to say it.” he crouches down to your eye level with a scowl. “any guy who’s interested in beyond fucking you— is full of shit. you’re only good for a pair of nice tits and a hole to put it in. I’m pretty sure munson feels the same way.”

that does it. you push him off hard enough so you’ll be able to stand in your feet and walk out of the room. tears start to stream down your face as your rush downstairs to hide yourself in a bathroom before anyone could see.

you lean your back against the bath tub, sitting there with knees tucked against your chest. both hands covering your mouth to muffle the loud cries you let out. words cannot describe the pain you’re feeling right now. the way it’s taking over your mind and soul, that all you wanted to do is just to dig yourself up a hole and lay there.

you have no idea how this one will last

—

eddie has no idea how it happens. one minute he was drinking alone then the next, he has a girl coming up to his direction and flirt with him. at first, he thought about her only using him to get weed so he told her off,

but she insisted that it wasn’t about that. letting him know that she’s genuinely interested in having a conversation with him. so fifteen minutes later, eddie finds himself enjoying a presence of another person.

“you’re emma, right?” he asks, seeing her nod. “y/n told me that you like me.”

“oh god” she laughs, covering her face in embarrassment. “she didn’t have to say that! she made a promise not to tell.”

“i’m her best friend, of course she tells me everything” he proudly says, downing the rest of the beer before chucking it onto the bin,

“you don’t feel weird about that?”

“no why would i be?”

“usually when someone learns that there’s a guy or a girl like them, they usually avoid them like a plague.”

“oh, not me” he shakes his head. “I’d be so flattered to know someone actually like me.”

“kind of like you and y/n there?”

“huh? no, we’re just friends.” he confirms

she cocks her head to the side, “just friends? are you sure?”

“yes? why are you asking?”

“dunno it’s just—you look at her differently. like she’s your soulmate or something” with a shrug, she watches how he gulps and runs his fingers through his hair nervously,

“oh t-that’s nothing. we’re just friends.” he confirms yet again, “plus, she has his eyes on someone else and he’s taking her upstairs just now.”

“who?”

“danny” he almost groans at the name being spoken. “that fucking pretty boy who could easily sweep any girl off her feet and now he got y/n hooked too.”

he almost wanted to say ‘my girl’. almost

“you sure about that?” emma narrows her eyes over his shoulder. “because danny is there and y/n isn’t with him”

confusion written all over his face as he follows her gaze. turning around to find danny fist bumping with his friends before sipping on his drink. he looks displeased to say at least.

something’s not right…

“i gotta go—i need to look for her” he bids without even looking at her before walking away from the kitchen. hearing her protests but he pays no mind to it.

eddie think twice about going over to danny and give him a piece of mind, however you’re far more important than punching a jock right now.

“y/n?! y/n!” he fights through a sea of people, screaming your name. “it’s a party dumbass, she’s not going to hear you.”

his head frantically looks over to the sides, eyes trailing from upstairs and back to the party. bunch of curses falling over his lips as he fails to find you,

“hey you—with the… never mind, have you seen y/n?” he asks a random stranger who only shrugs in response, eddie jumps from one person to another. asking about you and give them brief description about your appearance,

“she went to the bathroom” one girl points her finger down to the hallway, “i don’t know what happened but she looked like she was about to have a break down”

hearing that just makes his heart drop, what could possibly go wrong?

“okay, thanks” he mutters, speed walking towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. which thankfully there aren’t people crowding the area, they’re all far too busy with get shitfaced.

“sweetheart?” eddie calls, knocking softly on the door. “it’s me—your eddie.”

you don’t give him a verbal answer. just a choked sob that leaves your throat, causing eddie’s heart to break even more.

“i’m coming in, okay?” he doesn’t wait for your response, twisting the door knob as he opens the door. a sight of you, breaking down on the floor, body shaking is enough just to create an unbearable heartache for him.

“oh, sweetheart” he closes the door softly, walking towards your figure as he kneels down. “what happened?”

you ignore him for a few seconds and eddie doesn’t push it more. after a while, you lift your head up to look at him. eyes red and teary with smudged mascara. cheeks coated with fresh tears.

is it bad to think how pretty you look even in this state?

his hands reach out. aching to hold your hands in his, he feels internally relieved when you don’t push him away.

“mind telling me what’s wrong? was it danny? did he do this to you?” he needs to control his rage when he speaks the name. yet how could he when that motherfucker just made his favorite girl cry.

a shaky sigh escape your mouth, broken gaze then falls down to the marble floor. a question builds up in your throat, one that you need to ask him after the horrible exchange you had with danny.

“do you think sex is the only thing I’m good for? am i—boring, apart from that?”

“what?! y/n why the fuck would you ask me that! of course it’s not true!”

again you ignore him, “i feel like there’s nothing else i could ever offer except my body—i mean isn’t that what most guys think of me?”

“no y/n! no! w-what, danny said that?!” he asks, gripping your hands tightly,

you sadly nod, inhaling a sharp breath,

“what exactly did he say to you?” eddie wants nothing more than to walk out of this room and beat the shit out of him,

“h-he said I’m only good for a pair of tits and a h-hole to put it in” you find yourself breaking again, hard sobs leaving your mouth. “and that guys who think their interested in me beyond that are liars—you included”

his eyes are widen, head shaking in furious manner that make his curls move. “y/n you cannot possibly believe that scumbag! why would you think that i-“

“you don’t have to lie eddie, it’s okay”

“i’m not!” he almost screams, “i’m not lying to you—you do know that you are far more interesting than anyone that goes to our fucking school?”

you only shrug, not knowing what to believe anymore. and it hurts him. it hurts him that you somehow trusts danny’s words over his.

“god y/n” he lets out a breathy laugh. “sweetheart, look at me”

he tucks his finger under your chin to get you to see him. and when you do, eddie feels like it’s the right time to say what he needs to say to you.

“y/n y/l/n you’re so unbelievably perfect.” he tells, hands moving to cradle your cheeks and he melts when you lean into his hold. “you are so brilliant—funny, gorgeous, caring and overall fucking. perfect. in my eyes” he breathes out,

your eyes slowly soften at his confession, heart finding its steady beat as your sobs slowly sink away.

“and-and i—fuck it— i made at least 37 songs about you. written so many love letters i lost count knowing that i will never have the balls to say it to you.” he admits, almost too shy. “you’ve become my muse— i look at you and i see home—for once in my life i feel like i could belong because you make me feel so special. you’re the heather locklear to my tommy lee sweetheart. wouldn’t want anybody else on my side when i sell out arenas except you.”

a short silence falls between the two of you before he continues,

“sweetheart all of the things you do—man, you wouldn’t want to know” he jokes, earning a small smile from you. gaze never tearing away from his. “you know, sophomore year? i used to sit in the back of the class, counted the times that you smiled at me and i died on days that you didn’t”

he smiles at the memory. you walked into the classroom in pretty little pink skirt that looked so adorable on you, from that moment on he was sure he fell down into the pit of love.

“y/n—“ he closes his eyes for a moment, because the next thing he’s about to say is going to change everything.

“i am so totally, completely, head over heels, bend over backwards, ten thousand percent, in love with you—have been for two years and it grew even more when i heard you recite lord of the rings with me—and my feelings are not going to change wether you’re capable of letting me or not—so fuck, okay that sounds so demanding—i’m sorry if this is out of line-“

you cut him off by smashing your lips against his, keeping your figure steady by holding onto his shoulders. you swallow the surprise gasp that he lets out.

eddie feels his heart is going to burst—his mind is going ballistic over the fact that his dream girl just kissed him.

holy fucking ozzy, you kissed him! he finds himself melt under your touch right away.

as for you—oh god his lips—where do you even begin? it feels so soft and warm molding against yours. but most importantly it feels so right.

how on earth could you be so blind all these time? months of pining and struggling to find the perfect someone when there has always been the one standing right in front of you but you never even took the time to actually see it.

eddie is the one,

as someone who holds the title for being a straight A student, you sure are fucking stupid when it comes to love.

after for what it feels like eternity, both of you pull away from the kiss. eyes slowly opening up to find another, a smile break out on each other’s faces. his grin though, far bigger than yours.

“holy shit” he laughs, holding you by the waist, “i’ve been wanting to do that for a long time”

“yeah?“ you bite your lip, giggling after. thumbs moving to graze his cheeks lightly, then down to his lips. “was it good?”

“sweetheart it’s even better than i imagined” he sees how you immediately shy away from the comment, head ducking down to avoid his stare. “i love you—fuck i love you so bad”

“i—i love you too” you finally say, brushing out the frizzy bangs that are covering his handsome face. “have been for so so long and i didn’t know you feel that way eds, i thought you had a thing for chrissy and i figured you know—i should back off and move on to someone else just so i can get over you”

“don’t” he quickly replies, not wanting to imagine her being in someone else’s hold. “i’m glad you didn’t because i don’t want you to ever get over me, baby”

you nearly go putty at the nickname, “you’re the only person I want from now on—only you”

his heart grows when you give him the reassurance he needed to hear. brown pupils even dilated when he looks at you—that’s when he knows for sure, he’s got it bad

and he wouldn’t want it any other way,

“all this time” he starts, tugging you closer to him as he buries his face in your neck. his curls tickling you and making you giggle. “i could’ve had you in my arms for two damn years”

“we are two idiots huh? but you finally got me anyway” you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. feeling him smile through it.

“i finally got you”

—

i feel like this is bad…sorry bsjdjdjd i just had to finish it quickly and empty out my drafts

anyways please do reblog and comment ! xx

#eddie munson blurbs #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fics #eddie things

[ofstoriesandstardust]

chapter 9 - i know it won't work (b.r.b.)

a/n: after ten months of this chapter being at an absolute standstill, i have finally, finally finished this chapter. as always, @gretagerwigsmuse was an extraordinary human being for reading through all of it for me. i don't know if anyone is still interested in this series, but i'm posting it for anyone who is

summary: You're convinced it won't work, despite's Bradley persistence.

flight risk masterlist

warnings: alcohol, insecurities, swearing, this one is a bit heavy but has a hopeful ending

word count: 3.8k

"i've had the thought, tried to work it out through anxious pacin'/what if i'm not worth the time and breath i know you're saving?"

The front door opens as the plate clangs in the dishwasher, forcing you to cringe. You hold your breath, hoping it's not enough to catch the attention of Bradley.

Not just yet.

You aren't ready.

You know you have to talk to Bradley at some point. Tonight, preferably. But still, you're worried that staying might have been the wrong choice, that he doesn't want you here after this morning.

You're afraid to hear him tell you that you have to leave.

Bradley cautiously slips into the kitchen, not quite meeting your eye, almost like he's afraid. His face is hesitant as he cautiously looks up from the floor, to see you standing there, bent awkwardly over the dishwasher you'd been loading for him.

"You're here." He breathes out, almost unsure. "You stayed." He stays put, seemingly thinking that if he takes another step forward, speaks any louder than he currently is, you'll dissipate into thin air. You grimace at the thought that your continued reaction of leaving did that to him.

You shut the dishwasher, wincing as the ceramic plates clang together as you do, before standing straight, wringing your hands together. "Yeah." You breathe, unsure of where to look. "I- I didn't want to leave things between us like that."

He almost looks surprised by that answer, taking a cautious step forward. "So you wanna work things out?"

You lean up against the counter, eyes falling away from his. "I don't know if we can."

He lets out a forced laugh, something underneath you can't read, something that you want to say might be disbelief. "Come fucking on, Sunshine. You're supposed to be in fucking Boston right now. But you're not. You're here. That's gotta count for something, right?"

You push yourself away from the counter, turning away from him. "I don't know, Bradley. Don't you ever think that-" You pause, worrying your lip.

"What?"

You shrug before turning to face him again. "Don't you ever think that if we were supposed to be by now, we would've been?"

Bradley's face softens under his hesitancy. "Sunshine, we were kids when we met. We both had our own baggage and problems; we didn't know any better!" He steps closer to you, closing the distance by almost half. "I firmly believe that if we had gotten together at UVA, we would've blown it."

You huff, rolling your eyes. "Great."

He reaches out for you this time, bringing you back to face him even as you try to turn away again. "Sunshine, please stop reading into everything I say as if I mean the worst. I mean that we were kids and we were young and stupid and traumatized and both just trying to survive. Anything we felt as kids, it wouldn't have been enough for us to persevere against what the real world would've thrown at us." He squeezes your forearms, finally letting you go. "Look at what happened to fucking Tommy and Ella, yeah? They were the perfect couple with the perfect family that ended in divorce because they were kids when they did all that. But look at Eli and Bailey-"

"We're not them." You say, eyes narrowing as you cross your arms. "Stop fucking comparing us to people who don't give a shit about me."

He sighs. "That's not what I meant." He takes a step backwards, running a hand through his hair. "Sunshine, I was not equipped or emotionally available enough to be with you while we were at UVA. I was halfway convinced I was unlovable." His voice breaks as he looks at you pleadingly.

"Bradley, I-" You blow out a breath, shaking your head.

"Sunshine, I've never kept a solid relationship. You know that, a million people have told you that. Even when the other girls were perfect, they weren't you. I have always wanted to be with you Sunshine. I craved you like I crave flying a jet, or spending time with Maverick. You're an integral part of my life and who I am Sunshine, that's never going to go away."

You're unable to bring yourself to say anything, just look at him. Tears are stinging at your eyes for the umpteenth time in the last 24 hours, the emotion crawling up your throat, hearing him talk about how much you mean to him.

"Do you love me?" He whispers softly. “Because I love you - so much.”

You scoff at his question, that Bradley could have ever had any doubt how you felt about him. "Of course I fucking love you. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since I was 19 and in a shitty relationship you were begging me to get out of. I was in love with you when we were on a fucking camping trip and woke up to you cuddling me. I was in love with you when you were 25 and called me to tell me you were going to Top Gun for the first time and I was in love with you three months ago when you called me and asked me to come visit you. I was in love with you then and I'm in love with you now. I've never stopped, I don't know how."

He frowns as a beat passes. "Why do I get the feeling there's a but coming?"

"It's not realistic, Bradley! It would never- it would never work. We live on opposite coasts. I-" You cut yourself off, unsure of how to vocalize all the doubt you're feeling.

"Isn't the way we feel about each other enough?"

"No!" You nearly shout. "This isn't some Disney movie Bradley, where we all just get a happy ending! We live entirely different lives on opposite coasts. What do you want me to do? Give up my career? Sit here and play happy military wife forever? I can't just- drop everything to come here because I love you."

“That’s not what I’m saying! I’m not saying that you- you have to give up everything for me, much less be confined to the title of your marital status. I’m just saying- you made a sacrifice once before for me.”  

"That's not even in the same stratosphere of being the same thing."

He cocks his head. "Then fine, I'll drop everything to be with you."

You scoff again. "Bradley, no."

"Why not?" He demands. "I don't care what it takes. I just want to be with you."

"Bradley, I'm not letting you give up your career, your friends, your relationship with your godfather! You just got Maverick back, for fuck's sake. I can't-" You pause, your throat beginning to feel tight. "I'd never forgive myself if I took that from you." You struggle to swallow around the lump in your throat as a hot tear rolls down your face. "You have a really good thing going here Bradley. I would never ask you to give that up."

"You're not asking! I would give it all up if it meant I got to keep you, to have you."

You tilt your head. "You know that's not true." You whisper hoarsely. "You know that I'm not- I'm not the girl you should give it all up for."

Bradley’s face falls, a look of defeat replacing it. "What will it take for you to see that you're all I want Sunshine?"

You shake your head, turning away from him as you walk towards the kitchen window. "I can not believe I ended up here." You mutter. "How did I end up here?"

Bradley doesn't say anything.

"You know, I always swore I would never get married and because of some stupid decision we made as kids, I did. I swore I would never fall in love and yet because I trusted some stupid kid, I did." You groan, hands reaching up to rub your temples. "I should've been smarter."

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda Sunshine." Bradley says, but you barely hear him, the panic playing out in your mind.

How had you ended up here?

"I'm fucking stupid for doing this to myself, I know how this ends. My parents fucking hate each other and they had kids who hate them and each other. I've got no idea what good love looks like and-"

"Sunshine." Bradley says firmly, stepping back into your swimming vision. "You are not your parents, do you understand me? You're not like, destined to fuck this up, okay?" He reaches out softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear before kissing the top of your head softly. "Please, Sunshine. Just let me love you. Please, that’s all I’m asking right now.”

“And then what happens? What happens after I’ve let you love me and I’ve fallen even more in love with you? We won’t be able to make dinner together every night or snuggle up on the couch watching TV. I won’t be able to sleep beside you or run errands together. No - no, Bradley. I don’t even have all of those things fully now, I’m not gonna let myself have the dream of it happening one day.”

The defeat in Bradley shows in his stature before you ever see it on his face. 

His shoulders slump, exhaustion showing in the lines on his face. He takes a step back from you, hands falling to his sides as he looks at you. Really looks at you. 

“You’re gonna leave again, aren’t you?” His voice is so soft, you’re surprised you can hear the way it cracks in the middle. 

“Bradley.” You respond, voice just as soft as his. 

There is nothing more than you want in that moment to stay, to tell him you’d stay with him forever, to do whatever it took. 

But that fear, the fear that had kept you and your feelings at bay all these years, is stronger as you look at him. 

“It would never work.”

“It could.” 

“It can’t.” 

The sheer devastation that crosses Bradley’s face at your surety is almost enough to make you second-guess your own words. 

“Please don’t make me say goodbye to you again, Sunshine.” 

Yoru throat is tight as you feel the familiar sting of tears in your waterline. 

“Bradley, I can’t.” 

Bradley’s eyes are glassy, haunted. 

It’s a look that haunts your dreams all the way back to Boston. 

- 

You set the phone back down on the coffee table, switching music on as you blink away the sting of the lack of notifications on your messages app. 

You don’t know why you keep waiting – expecting, really – for Bradley to text you. 

You think you made it pretty clear how you feel about him. About where the two of you were going from here. 

The Archer plays softly in the background as you grab the bottle of wine out of the bag, scrunching your nose as the chocolate at the bottom of the bag. 

You didn’t even really like Ferrero Rocher chocolate but apparently the you that had been throwing yourself a pity party an hour ago was miserable enough to buy it. 

You sigh, uncorking the bottle as the song on the tiny bluetooth speaker that sat atop your stove switches over and floats out through your kitchen. 

You pause as you recognize the first few keys of the song, groaning as you set the bottle back down on the countertop before walking a few feet to grab your phone. 

Sure enough, the familiar album cover of good riddance looks back up at you as you quickly swipe away from the song that had come up on your shuffle. 

“Fucking Spotify.” You mutter, slipping your phone into the pockets of the sweats you’d been dying to put on all day. 

Three months of traipsing around San Diego in shorts and leggings all the time had ruined you from ever comfortably wearing slacks again. 

You only just barely make it through your pour before the buzzer goes off, causing you to flinch. 

“Jesus.” You mutter as you re-cork the bottle. 

You sigh, picking the glass up and taking a sip of the shitty five-dollar bottle of wine you’d picked up on the way home from the office. You hear the main door open from downstairs and part of you wonders if your boss followed through on her threat of giving you a fruit basket. 

(“So, how was San Diego?” Your boss asks.

You sigh, glancing up at her from your monitor before looking back at the email you’re typing out. 

“That bad, huh?”

She shuts the door of your office behind her, sitting in the chair across from you. 

“Was expecting you to come back with some good news, especially with you taking a few extra days.” 

You swallow, closing your tabs you turn your attention back to her. 

“I- uh, married this guy in college. It was really- spur of the moment. We were young and stupid and-” You shake your head, swallowing around the lump in your throat. “It just ended up not working out. I went to San Diego so we could get a divorce.” 

“Oh shit.” She mutters. She shifts in her seat before she nods to herself. 

“What if I sent you a fruit basket? Would that make it better?”)

You wonder if chocolate covered pineapple will taste good with cheap white wine as you fish your phone out of your pocket, typing out a text to her to ask if she had indeed sent you a fruit basket when there's a knock at the door. 

“Coming.” You call out before you sigh, setting the phone down on the countertop as you walk a few paces over to the door, before pulling it open, wine glass in hand. 

And then you almost drop it. 

-

He hadn’t, not for a second, considered that following you to Boston was a poor choice. 

Not when he had to ask Ice to pull strings to get him approved leave. 

Not when he booked a last minute flight in the base parking lot on a newly-downloaded Delta app. 

Not when Mav had to gently suggest he book a hotel room in case things didn’t go as planned. 

(“B, I think you should consider maybe booking a hotel room in case this all goes to shit.” Mav says, sitting down on his bed as he packs his duffle bag. 

He freezes, looking at his godfather. 

“Fuck, I didn’t even think of that.” 

His godfather heaves an overexaggerated sigh, nodding. “Yeah, I figured.”)

Not when he spent a majority of his time in the San Diego airport trying to figure how to take the T from the airport to your apartment in Brookline. 

(You’d explained it to him once, something about a blue line and a green line and a Maverick stop, but he’s pretty sure he was admiring the way your eyes sparkled in the sun as the two of sat on the grassy lawn of the courtyard in Balboa Park and decidedly not listening to what you were telling him.)

Not when he took a detour, getting off at a different stop to go to the hotel room Mav and Penny had booked for him and not when he’d taken another stop to get you flowers. 

Not when he’d pressed the buzzer for your apartment and not as he walked up the wooden stairs to your third floor apartment. 

No, the first time he second-guesses any of his decisions of the last forty-eight hours is when you open your front door, wine glass in hand, music playing in the background, and stare at him. 

The flowers feel sweaty in his hand, the brown paper crinkling as he swallows, suddenly forgetting everything he wanted to say. 

“I- shit, are you busy Sunshine? I- sorry, I didn’t even think-” 

You shake your head, turning to set your wine glass on the entryway table as the music softly plays in the background. “Bradley, what are you doing here?” You ask, shaking your head again as your eyes flit over him. 

He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. 

“I thought, at first, that maybe you didn’t- you didn’t love me back or care- care about me in the way I did you. But after that last night-” He shakes his head. “I know now that it’s not that you don’t love me. You keep saying that this could never work. And I- I need to show you that it could. It can work, and we will make it work.” He licks his lips, glancing down at the flowers in his hands. 

“Bradley-” 

“No, Sunshine, I need you to hear me out. Please.” You give a little nod, eyes wide, and he sighs again. “I have it all mapped out, all the weekends I’m free to come visit you here. I get home around 6 every night, which is only 9 your time here. You’ve always been a bit of a night owl, so there’s at least a few hours each night we can FaceTime while I make dinner. We can even do dinner dates on the weekend and call each other while we cook together. We can make this work. We’ve made it work enough for the Navy to believe us all these years, now- now it’s just doing all the things we said we were doing all along. I want to be with you and I don’t care how long it takes, we will get this right. We can do this for however long we need to, for however long it takes, I just- I just want to love you.” 

He swallows as his hands jerk out, offering you the flowers as he finally lets himself breathe. You glance down at the flowers and back up to him, eyes wide. 

He glances down at them, realizing you aren’t going to take the flowers from him and his next words leave him without his allowance. 

“I just want to kiss my wife. Just once.” 

The seconds tick by without you saying or doing anything. 

It’s excruciating. 

He feels his face grow warm as he suddenly realizes how ridiculous this all is. This, the flowers, the showing up announced, the flying cross country, all of it. 

“I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have- Okay, I’m- I’m sorry for bothering you Sunshine. I should go.” 

He nods, going to turn, when you surge forward, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling his lips down to yours. 

The flowers fall out of his hands as he scrambles to cup either side of your head. 

-

The kiss is soft as it is passionate, a juxtaposition you never thought could come from a kiss. His lips are chapped against yours and at the angle you’ve got him at, his nose is nudged against your cheek and yet it’s still the best kiss you’ve ever had. It’s dizzying, the relief and peace that comes from finally knowing what it’s like to kiss him. 

It’s the movement of one of his hands down to your shoulder that grounds you, causing you to pull away. You don’t go far, just enough to look him in his eyes. 

“I can’t believe I just did that.” You say after a beat, a giddy half-laugh escaping you as the adrenaline thrums through you. “Come inside.” You say, tugging on his shirt. “We should stop giving my neighbors a free show. Mrs. Robinson’s probably watching us through her peephole.”

Bradley lets out a small laugh at the mention of your nosy across the hall neighbor, before bending down to scoop up the flowers. He turns to you as you gently shut the door behind him. 

“Do you have a vase for me to put these in?”

“Do I have a- Bradley, what do you take me for? An adult?” He laughs, a real laugh this time, and the sound warms your heart. “Here.” you walk a few paces into your kitchen, Bradley trailing behind you. You open up one of the cabinets, pulling out a tall pint glass. 

Bradley’s eyes grow at the sight of it. “Is that the cup from when we went to Oktoberfest? While we were in college?” 

You nod, filling the glass at your sink before turning back to him. 

While at UVA, your group of friends had gone to Oktoberfest. You’d been too young to drink at the time, a year younger than the rest of them, and Bradley had taken pity on you, giving you his pint glass at the end of the day since you wouldn’t be able to get your own. 

You take the flowers from him, trimming the stems off before setting them in the water. You grab the glass, nodding your head to your couch. 

“C’mon, let’s sit.” 

Bradley follows you as you sit down, if a bit hesitant. 

Hesitation, caution, carefree laughter, kindness, love, they’re all looks on Bradley you know well. 

But this, the timidness, in his eyes, in the gentleness of his movements, in the lines around his small smile is not something you’re familiar with. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, scooting closer to him once he finally does sit down next to you on the couch. 

He swallows before glancing around your place. 

“This is cute. Cozy.” 

“Better in person than in the pictures I showed you, I bet?” He nods, before glancing back at you. “B, I can’t believe you’re here.” You whisper softly, resisting the urge to reach out and thread your fingers through his. 

“You still haven’t told me if you want to try.” He whispers, hazel eyes meeting yours. There’s that timidness again, hidden his voice. “I really want to try, Sunshine.” 

This time, you don’t resist the urge and take his hand in yours. You crawl closer to him, placing yourself gently in his lap. His hands automatically wrap around your middle, even if you can still see the nerves in his eyes. 

“Bradley, I want to try.” You whisper softly. “I-” 

You falter, struggling to find the words to articulate why you had changed your mind. 

Maybe it was the love Bradley had for you, was so openly displaying. 

Maybe it was the determination he’d had that this could work. 

Maybe it was the effort it took to follow you out here. 

Maybe it was the knowledge that your fear would deny you the best thing you’d ever had, the best person you’d ever had. 

Maybe it was all of it, knowing you’d spend the rest of your life regretting it if you didn’t. 

Bradley would be your one that got away. He’d be the one you’d think of what ifs when he inevitably got married to another girl, had kids, and a picket white fence future. 

“Sunshine?” Bradley prompts softly. 

The thought alone makes you nauseous. You couldn’t let that happen. 

“I wanna try, B. I wanna try so bad. I have to try.” 

The smile Bradley gives you in return is soft, yet no less sweet and full of love before he presses another kiss to your lips. 

“Then we’ll try.”

#bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun: maverick #top gun: maverick fic #flight risk

[berryfeilds]

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.

Summary- Steve now has the floor to fix your desperate attempt.

or

part two because steve is an idiot.

Warnings- reader is described with female attributes, food is mentioned (not in a triggering way), cuss words, a little angst?, VERY BAD WRITING PLEASE,

W/C- 5.4k

A/N: the long-awaited part 2 LMFAOO😭 literally quit and got lazy for the ending, and i couldn't find pics that match this fics aesthetic so. ALSO this is such a mess like be careful reading, you're gonna get confused. and i guess this could also be read as a stand-alone i think but yeah enjoy this is a literary piece of shit.

✦ Regard the links below about S5 of ST.

Usually when the world turns to hell, you –and Hop– are the voices of reason. Leading the group to safety, planning every move and hit. Following behind you was never a question of hesitation. Trusting your judgment was never an unpopular opinion –hell even Hopper took your word when he didn’t trust himself enough to lead; and that was saying a lot. Hopper is one hell of a stubborn brick. But that goes to say you were too. And if the odds don’t yield in your favor? If the tides don’t crash onto your shore?

 The sky would fall, Steve thinks. 

You always knew what you were doing. It’s fascinating. Even if you were in the wrong, things always go your way. Following behind you never came with a side of uncertainty. He never had to think twice when seeing your determined face.

But this time, it was the visible exhaustion evident on your face that faltered him. Steve being scared to follow you had him reeling in the fact that maybe, this argument wasn’t just a fluke. 

It’s been a few weeks since that night at the pool. You’ve been radio silent and unresponsive to all the calls and ‘CODE REDs’ that Steve's been sending you. As if you've gone off grid with Murray. The second you walked out Steve sprang to his feet and ran after you to fix things, hopefully to try and hash things out and understand what it was that was so wrong. But he stopped; Refrained. His hand lingered on the door knob contemplating whether following you was a good idea or not. 

It was always a good idea. Why is it so different now? Why is everything so different nowadays?

Perhaps it's because, deep down, he was scared of the idea that you would be angry with him for loving him. It terrified him greatly. Not because the idea of being with you was dreadful –but because he was aware that his query was really wishful thinking. The picture of you ever returning his longing was too expensive, one he could never afford or win. Steve assured himself deep in his bones that your love is the one thing he could never be deserving of. But what is he to do now? 

It’s been so frustrating, especially because he’d usually go to you in these sorts of cases. You always knew everything about everyone. He’d always tease you about being a little snitch, saying you were the one to spread rumors in school. You always argued back saying you weren’t a gossip; ‘Never the rat, always the dog’ you’d say. Loyal and reliable. That’s who you were.

But obviously you’re not very reliable right now. So Steve got ready and made his way to the second most reliable person he knows.

Dustin.

“You’re fucked.”

“Alright, Sherlock, thanks for the wisdom.”  Steve exhales sarcastically before leaning back into his chair.

“No seriously Steve, I've seen her blank people for the stupidest things. She’s not gonna talk to you for at least a month by the sound of it.” Dustine purses his lips and shrugs. 

Steve groans and closes his eyes. He knew that. He knew you were the most stubborn person he’s had the luxury of befriending. Always ignoring the people who would probably waste your time, laughing at all the guys who have tried –and failed– at asking you out. I mean for fucks sake he’s been one of the people to annoy you during school with Tommy and Carol. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a fond memory.

“I know man, I just…” He opens his eyes and looks down at the table.

Dustin furrows his brows when he sees how distraught Steve looks right now. He knew the both of you were close. If he and Steve weren’t together he’d probably find him with you. You always came by the store, picked him and Steve up and dropped them off, helped Steve with all his girl problems when Robin and him were fed up. It seemed like you could never get enough of each other. You guys couldn’t be more different though; the two of you, opposite sides of the same coin, but attached by a string.

But even then, he wasn’t as worried as Steve is right now when Lucas ignored him when he stole his limited edition copy of the Swamp Thing. And he and Lucas have years of friendship on the two of you.

“It’s just, I’ve never seen her so tired. Like I've inconvenienced her with all my shit,” Steve exhales deeply as he leans his elbows on the table, rubbing his hands down his face. “Fuck, I don’t blame her if she quits talking to me for good.”

Dustin looks at his friend in sympathy, “Don’t say that dude, you just gotta charm her, it’s not the end of the world-”

“Dustin she’s not like that, man! She’s not one to be ‘charmed’, definitely not one to forgive an asshole that's been nothing but a shit friend.” The hands on his face fall down on the wood as he crossed them. 

“I fucked up. Real bad.” He quaked.

He shakes his head, as if trying to wake himself up from a bad dream. Steve knows he’s being dramatic but he can’t help it. He’s never felt so deeply about a person before. You matter to him, more than most. You’re intimidating and beautiful and so far out of his sad reach.

It takes Dustin no less than 8 Mississippi’s to understand what’s really happening. He’s had an idea in the past and teased Steve about it. The whole group thought something was going on between the two of you but they never questioned it; last time they did they got an earful from you. But Dustin remembers the way Steve’s face fell at your loud and definite “No way!”

He scrutinizes Steve for a second longer before carefully choosing his words longer. “Steve…Are you really still in love with Nancy?” 

Steve raises his eyes and peers at his friend. Was he still in love with his ex-girlfriend? He inhales deeply. Steve thinks about the time spent between the two of you. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t laugh at your quick quips or the way you tease Mike. Not an hour passes by that he doesn’t think about where you are or what you’re doing. Not a minute or second that he doesn’t think about holding your hand and pulling you close. 

But he hates that, he hates the feeling of vulnerability. It's what got him dumped by Nancy so why cherish the feeling that broke him. And it isn’t like you were very mushy about your feelings either, preferring to keep them safe and close to you. 

But by God did he feel safe with you. You were never one to meddle about with feelings, always preferring to speak your mind no matter how controversial. You were honest –and vulgar– and so outspoken, always saying what others were too scared to. He wasn’t short of your honesty either –nor your kindness. He calls –you’ll be there in 10. He needs advice? You’re writing down a thesis paper about his problems. His parents are bothering him? 

Your door is open and unlocked, baking cookies with his favorite movie rented out, waiting to be played.

Steve opens your unlocked door slowly as he walks through the small foyer. Your house is small but warmly lit, giving it a feel he’s never felt anywhere before; Home. That’s the feeling. He calls out your name as he takes his shoes off. There’s a harmonic sound playing throughout the house; To Cut A Long Story Short by Spandau Ballet. This was the mixtape he gifted you. A smile pinches at his face at the revelation.

“In the kitchen!” He hears you call from the corner. Steve’s shoulders physically relax at the honeyed voice.

He walks in routine to where you reside in the kitchen, waiting on popcorn and rolling cookies onto a tray. “Hey, trouble.”

You turn your head at the greeting, a small smile already dancing on your lips. “Stevie.” You nod your head in acknowledgement at the boy.

“What’re you doing?”

Your head turns back to the concoction of dough in front of you. “Making cookies; You’re favorite, right?”

Steve’s eyes widen slightly at your answer. You’re baking? For him? Because he was upset about his parents? Has he had anyone do something so kind? That’s a stupid question, especially as your lovely character is right in front of him. His heart warms and picks up in rate at the same time. It seems to do that a lot whenever he’s around you. 

“Yeah..” He pauses before releasing a chuckle. “You know, you’re not as tough as you look right?”

You scoff, keeping your eyes trained at the ball rolling in between your palms. “Shut it or it’ll be your head I shove into the oven.”

He laughs. After the return of his parents his face has been in a permanent scowl. But the second he’s in your area –around you– you’ve managed to flip his mood in an instance.

“Yes ma’am,” He walks to stand beside you, his back to the counter and his arms propped up behind him. “Need help?” 

The tray is half full with delicious smelling chocolate rounds. “No, it’s okay. You just sit there and look pretty.” You smirk in his direction.

“Hah, funny.” He jokes flatly.

The sound of the microwave timer rings just as you roll the last ball. “Would you get that?” You wipe your oily hands with a red kitchen rag. Steve gets up to open up the microwave. He’s hit with a wave of the salty smell of popcorn. He takes the hot bag out carefully and sets it down on the counter. His head looks around to find an empty bowl to pour the kernels into. 

After setting the tray full of soon-to-be cookies in the oven, you wish to start cleaning up. However your eyes find Steve bent down, assuming to find a bowl. Before you can go help him, he’s already on his way to stand up –before bumping his head on the edge of the counter. 

“Shit!” 

You snort before letting out a heavily mocking laugh. Steve looks at your standing form while he rubs the back of his head. “Anyone told you, you’re a sadist? Shit man.”

You giggle slightly before replying, “Once or twice, lost count.” You walk over to help him up, offering your hand out. “You hit it bad?” 

He takes your outstretched aid and climbs up. “Nah, winded me though.” His hand comes back up to rub at the spot.

“Let me check.” 

Steve watches as you step behind him. You run your fingers over the throbbing spot and massage his scalp. He completely misses the fact that you're touching his hair; No one’s allowed to touch his hair. Thank God you were behind him or you would’ve seen his face turning an embarrassing tomato red. The feeling of you behind him, chest pressed against his back while your soft, nimble fingers soothe the ache on his head has him feeling the butterflies in his stomach flaring up and tingling. His palms start to sweat from the nerves of your figure so close to him and wipes them on his jeans. Get a grip man!

“Still hurt?” Your voice speaks up behind him.

It takes a second for him to register that you’re asking him a question. “U-uh no- no, I’m okay.” He stutters out.

You spill a knowing smile. “Good.” You make your way to his line of sight again. “If you needed a bowl, you could’ve just asked.” You tease with a smirk and a quirk of your brows.

He clears his throat nervously as he watches you bend down to the left of where he was and grab a yellow bowl. “Here.” You hand it over to him. He raises his arm to take your outstretched arm. His fingers brush over yours delicately; it was electrifying. 

Your eyes flit over to his glued on you. The corners of his mouth turn up gently. “Thanks.” 

In that short moment the two of you shared, your breath was stolen. Sometimes you forget how truly handsome your friend is. And everytime you’re reminded, your heart stops. But not in an agonizing way; more like it realizes the force of feelings it’s up against. A tide so big you can’t swim your way up.

Your bodies stay still in front of each other, just staring at one another. A wave of realization washes over Steve quickly. Just for a quick second no longer –maybe because he had an idea of what exactly are the flames that envelope his body every time he’s near you, he’s just never entertained the idea. Liking you –scratch that– loving you? He’s just about throwin himself to a suicide mission. Just as the tide goes out, the insecurity settles in. 

But right now? With you looking at him with your glistening, starry eyes? As you bake his favorite dessert and take his mind off his shitty parents? He tries to amuse his scorching feelings.

Of course Steve wasn’t in love with Nancy. God why would he be when you were right there? 

He chuckles humorously, “No.” His eyes zone in on a scratch of paint on the wood. “But, there’s no way I'll hurt someone like her,” He whispers as if the mere act would stop his heart, “Someone as angelic as she is, would never soil her hands with someone like me.” He flies through the sentence, trying hard to not let the truth dig its claws further in. 

Dustin looks at his friend in sympathy. He’s unsure of what to do or say to lift up Steve’s spirits. But Steve was wrong. Stupid wrong. Dustin’s seen the way you look at Steve; Like he strung up the moon and hung every star individually. He’s seen the way you unconsciously move toward Steve when a situation grows uncomfortable. Or the way you always seem to know what Steve was feeling or thinking just with a glance. It made the group sick, really. Well, before they started dating and crushing. But what you and Steve have? It rivals the most ancient love stories; Songs that didn’t make sense before all of a sudden click with just a glance at the two of you; Romance novels written about the two of you and movies fail to show what it is truly that makes love so magical.

“Steve,” Dustin stops and looks down gloomily; Adding to the dramatic pause, “I’ve never met someone more brainless and thick-headed than you.” Steve’s head shoots up, his face offended and ready to defend himself. “What?-”

“I mean seriously, did you inhale some hair spray this morning? You’re more stupid than usual –and that’s saying a lot.” 

Steve’s brows continue to furrow in offense as the insults carry out. “Okay ditz, what’re you on about?-”

“She loves you, you idiot!”

Silence over takes the room like a bad plague. A ringing sound fills his ears as his widen eyes take in his friend. Before he lets out a laugh. Dustin’s determined face controls into one of confusion. “W-what are you laughing at?” Steve continues his heaved breaths. “Steve!”

“I’m sorry-” He wheezes. “I’m sorry but, aren't you supposed to be a genius?” He inhales deeply and regains himself. It was Dustin’s turn to be offended. 

“I’m freaking serious man! Anyone with eyes can see how much she loves you!” 

Steve rolls his eyes indecorously. “Cupid, listen-”

“No you listen!”

There's a moment of staggered silence before Dustin continues. “Holy shit do you ever shut up? Better yet– Do you ever stop and think twice before you speak? The whole reason you’re in this mess is because you’re a coward –a chicken; You talk all this big talk about getting all the ladies and scoring dates but, have you ever thought that the reason you’re going on these –stupid dates– is to distract yourself?” Dustin doesn’t give him half a second to reply- “No you didn’t, just like you don’t think before talking to the love of your life.” Dustin’s blazing because at this point he’s just spilling over words. He needs to end it, shove the knife a little deeper for the act to end. 

“She’s hurt Steve. You hurt her.” Steve stiffens at the confession. “So are you going to do something about it, or are you going to sit her brooding like a James Dean wannabe?”

Steve bites his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood as he contemplates his choices. He’s spent the better half of your friendship in agonizing longing, hoping –looking– for a sign. Anything that tells him or shows him that you might return the painful ache in his chest. Oh how he burned for you; ablaze with every touch and stare. But just as the oceans glisten, you somehow always smother the fire. He wonders what it means: the fact that you never let him destroy himself. It was different with everyone else. With Nancy he was practically left in smithereens; everyone else never bothered to tend to the fire. But you? You could always tell when he was about to boil over. Just on the verge of a major spill. You were healthy, and observant. Always managing his outbursts with careful and slow movements. Throwing water just as his temper tipped over the edge.

 He needs to be your water. He needs to be there for you, just like you’ve always done. Like you always do.

Steve slams his hands on the table in tenacity. The action startled Dustin as he looked at a new man in front of him. “I’m gonna do something about it-” 

Dustin stands up with the same amount of fervor and nods his head proudly. “Yeah, yeah!”

“I’m gonna fix this!” Steve pumps his hands excitedly by his side. Dustin copies Steve and slams his hands on the table. “Hell yeah, you are!” Dustin drums the table hysterically as if possessed with the spirit of John Bonham.

Steve whoops and yells running around the dining room. Dustin –just as excited– slaps his back whenever he passes. “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna fix this– I’m going to tell her!” 

Dustin’s just about ready to start calling everyone he knows to celebrate. Shit he feels like his mom. Steve’s already by the door slipping on his shoes. “Go get your girl Steve!” He grins, his dimple showing. Steve turns around just as he’s about out the door, and sends a confident, full toothed smile back.

••••••

You were lounging around on your couch eating a bowl of cereal when you heard the sound of a knock on your door. You place the bowl down and make your way to the wooden slab. It’s been a few days since the constant calls and house visits from Steve stopped so you were hopeful that he didn’t pick up his new favorite hobby again. The weeks that followed the argument were quiet. You didn’t realize how much of your time was spent with Steve and the group. You assumed Steve told the rest of them about your vow to silence when Nancy and Robin showed up with bags of snacks and a rented out movie, talking about a ‘girls day’. You were hesitant at first. Yes they were your friends –but they were also Steves. Nancy, ever the empath noticed your predicament and reassured you they were on your side. You let them in reluctantly; quickly changing to gratefulness when you realized how much fun you were having. It quickly became a routine between the three of you. The two of them however kept this a secret for your sake and it added to the appreciation. You were all getting so close and it was nice. All your time being spent with Steve had you missing out on getting to really know who they were. Nancy even confided in you about her problems with Jonathan; the distance and indifference. You understood her and even tried helping her, it was lovely. And Robin was just a breath of fresh air, her jokes and childish attitude gives you space to not be so tough all the time. You even find yourself doubled over laughing at her ridiculous quips during your weekly watches. It was fun, having friends to take your mind off things.

You open your door assuming to see either girl but you’re met with a bent down flop of hair breathing heavily.

“Steve?” You questioned in slight worry. “You okay?”

Your name gets called out in a deep wheeze. He stands up right as he takes in a couple of deep breaths.

“Listen– I know that you’re mad –believe me I’ve had my fair share of people calling me a jackass– but I want to make it right.” He gazes at you desperately. “Please.”

You rip your eyes away from his face as you think about your choices. It’s been a long time since the argument, and to be completely honest you were kind of over it. Just as Nancy confined in you; You fessed up and revealed the true nature of your and Steve's fight. To say the least Nancy wasn't impressed, nor was she amused. You thought she was going to be mad –or even excited– but you were met with a lecture: “If you believe a word out of Steve's mouth; my judgment of you has got to change.” She joked. “We even have bets going on to see how long the two of you would last.”

You thought she was absurd, denying everything she said –even though it made sense– you would never tell her that though. But her words ring around in your head like little cartoon birds. ‘Give it a shot. Be vulnerable.’ She coaxed. If shit goes wrong you are so taking that Rumors CD.

You prodded your cheek with your tongue before replying. “Get in.”

He lets out a grateful huff of air, one he was holding in. “Thank you.” You widen up the open door and let the boy in. He looks odd with hands fiddling together, like a scolded child standing in your walkway. He hazily remembers the night he walked into your house for the impromptu movie night. He ignores the voice in his head that nags: ‘This might not work’.

“You want something to drink?” You speak monotonously.

He snaps out of his reverie. Now's not the time to freeze.

“Uh- yeah- yes please, water.” He follows you to the kitchen

The tension is palpable, and it’s making Steve awfully nervous. Your back is facing towards him as you open the faucet and let it run before placing a glass cup underneath the stream. The memory comes back again, fast. He tries to find the comfort he once felt the last time he stepped in your house. Somehow it never left.

You leave the sink with a cold cup of water in your hand. He takes it from your wet hands softly, taking extra precaution not to graze your fingers. Steve quietly mumbles your name as you wipe your damp hands on the same red rag. You rip your eyes away from the distraction and set them on Steve.

“I..How are you?” He gulps.

You take a deep breath before replying. “Fine. You?”

“Good, good.” He nods his head as he rubs his thumb across his bottom lip and chin. A habit he does when he’s nervous.

You wrap your arms around your body protectively in hopes of perhaps shielding you away from the inevitable conversation. “Cut to the chase Harrington.” You grunted exasperatedly.

“I know I know! I just...Need to find the right words. I don’t wanna mess this up.” He whispered the last part but still audible enough for you to hear him. You always do.

“Mess what up? It was just a silly argument-” You furrow your brows in confusion.

“No it wasn’t! Nothing about it was silly –nothing about us is silly!” He exclaimed. 

Your eyebrows fly to the top of your forehead. “Wha-”

He says your name in the same manner, “I’ve been an idiot. A complete and utter douchebag –but you know that so what's new.” He chuckles in a strangled tone, voice wobbly while he rubs his palms. You stood quiet as he took the microphone.

“The night at the pool wasn’t a mistake. It was everything I needed to open my eyes, to see how much of an idiot I’ve been. You…” Steve takes a second to gather his thoughts. To gather you into words. “Are everything. All the praying and wishing on stars to find someone who understood me. Who I can sit in silence with and it not feel excruciatingly uncomfortable. You’ve given me a home within a person.”

He’s staring into your eyes now with a feeling you can’t quite understand. But he strides gingerly towards your frame and unravels your arms, and holds your warm hands. You’re still observing him with very large eyes. 

He’s being vulnerable?

He says your name is such confidence, totally different to the little boy who was just standing in your walkway all fidgety. “I cannot imagine a life with you not being there to yell at all the stupid people, especially the ones who miraculously passed their driving test.” This steals a little giggle from your shocked state. Steve continues. “There’s so much more to this but,” He pauses and closes his eyes while he inhales deeply. “I am not in love with Nancy.” He says. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for the things I said. You were trying to help me –like always– and I was just being a dick. I’m so sorry.”

Hope fills your being and it’s suffocating, you question if you even like it. He’s speaking with such softness it equals the spring wind and with incredible certainty it rivals the most stubborn aristocrats. 

“Huh, isn’t that something.” You choke up. Steve questions if he heard you. He did. He always does when it comes to you.

“Yeah it is.” he replies with a small smile and a pull with his interlocked hands, bringing you closer. 

“You’ve been my calm in this shit storm and I’ve been an idiot to not realize that the only person I ever needed,” He stops for what you believe is for dramatic effect, “Was you. It's always been you. So in some way I was hoping to maybe be the calm in your life.” 

Steve releases a shy grin and squeezes your hands in his lengthy ones before finishing his profession. He says your name one last time before- “I am an idiot. And that’s been proven to be true more times than we can count on our fingers. But I think the time that solidified it was when I tried convincing myself that I didn’t love you.”

You think your eyes are about to bulge out their sockets at the confession. He…loved you?

“Me?”

He gives you a knowing look. “I’m sorry, do you have a secret twin I don’t know about? Is this some shitty sequel to The Parent Trap?”

“Steve.”

“Sorry sorry.”

It’s taking a lot from you to swallow this huge pill. You’ve spent this whole time convincing yourself that he didn’t love you. That he couldn’t ever fathom thinking about you in a romantic sense. Now here he is, standing in front of you with his cheeky smile and bright eyes, telling you he loves you. You start to blink excessively, feeling the tsunami of tears advancing fast. God you hate crying, but maybe you’ll allow it this time. If Steve was an idiot, you better expect a simpleton of the year award in the mail soon. You feel the blobs of tears in front of your orbs as they start to fall down one by one.

This obviously panics Steve, you would rather stick forks in your eyes than cry. 

“Oh my god, shit, was it something I said? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to throw all of this at your face.” Steve is running around your kitchen to find tissues or a towel before he promptly kicks the table and drops the glass of water. “Shit! Shit shit shit!”

Tears forgotten when you start laughing jovially at the scene. You wipe your cheeks with knuckles as you breathe sharply.

“Steve.” You call out to his erratic form.

“I’m so sorry angel, this is a mess, I’ll fix it and then leave-”

“Steve.”

“I will buy you a whole new cup –scratch that– I’ll buy you whole brand new kitchen set-”

“Steve!”

He stops the run around the kitchen and stares at you and sees the teary smile you’re beautifully wearing. He gulps, “Yes?” He replies, still out of breath.

“I love you too.” You drag a finger furiously under your eye trying to stop the water works.

“Oh.” He croaks

“Yeah.”

“That’s, uh, that’s good, amazing actually, uh really great –hey stop doing that to your face.” He approaches you and draws your criminal hands away from your face in a caring manner. He replaces your angry fingers with his calloused ones, collecting your happy tears. You let him take care of you, caressing along the apples of your cheeks in content. 

Steve’s buzzing with overwhelming love for you. He ponders how he lasted so long lying to himself. He wonders how long he’s spent hurting you, trying to forget the absolute force of beauty and grace you are. You were there from the start, in front of him with all your anger and unconditional kindness –that he didn’t deserve– but you still chose to stay. And fuck if he messes this second chance? He can’t think of a way to thank the considerate hand that’s giving him this fortune.

He holds your glowing face in his nurturing hands and gazes into your starry eyes. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

You laugh delightfully and Steve thinks it’s the most wonderful music to his ears. “No. You’re lucky I even let you into my house.”

“Mhmm I am very lucky.” He teased cockily.

“You know you have a lot to make up for?” You say say woefully.

“All that wasted time and you think I haven’t started planning yet? Trouble, c’mon.” He tilts his head.

“Well, you are a little scatter-brained so.” You purse your lips.

“Hey!”

You shrug mockingly as his hands stay glued to your face. “It’s what you get for hurting me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be making it up to you until death grabs me by the throat.”

Steve can’t believe his eyes right now, you, standing in front of him, willing to forgive him. He’s sure he can die happy right now.

“Hey, I’m gonna try and do something, and you can stop me at any time –hit me, or slap me– I won’t even squeak.” His fingers travel to hold your jaw, thumbs close to your bottom lip. 

You nod inquisitively. “Alright, alright, we’ll crucify you if need be.”

His face is dull at your poor joke.

Steve lingers for a moment before he leisurely leans in close to your awaiting lips. First warning comes when the both of you are a breath away. “Everything okay?” He whispers.

“Mhm.”

The next comes when the tips of your noses are brushing against each other; a shy eskimo kiss. “Still okay?” In a timid manner you close your eyes. Steve admires how your lashes kiss your cheeks.

Your consent comes in the guise of an easy nod.

Then comes the time of the hour. Your lips were smooth and sweet, nothing like he could ever imagine in his wildest dreams. The kiss has both of your heart beats jumping around like monkeys. You feel like you’re gonna pass out; he’s so warm and his skin is stinging with shots of happiness. There were few times in your life you ever felt light headed, but this? This takes the cake. It feels like blowing out your birthday candles, and the after smell of the wax. It feels like summer, dipping your overheated head into the cold ocean, feeling your scalp chill. It feels like wiping soft buttercream off your lips and submerging your frosted finger into your mouth, tasting the sweet cream. It feels like everything

The both of you pull away for much needed oxygen –but in both of your opinions you could have gone without it– and just stare at each other. “You okay?” He wipes the wet off your lips.

“Fine.” You nod dumbly.

Steve gives you a small smile, fondness oozing out of his expressions. “Good.”

© berryfeilds 2024

Boycott S5 of Stranger Things → Cast Zionism + Other reasons and productions

Learn about Palestine → Resources + Ways to help + Other 1 + Other 2

#❆ i smell snow #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington angst #steve harrington self insert #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #Steve stranger things #steve stranger things fic

[alienssstufff]

been thinking about how there was gonna be one more stream where c!slime and c!quackity we’re gonna find solace,,,how do you believe their story ended? (since you are the ceo of dapduo)

With what we currently have in canon here is how that final stream would have panned out: NOTE- the following happens after the HO16 fic, after Wilbur apologises to everyone except Tommy, and the 9/10 LN ending

The beginning of the stream starts with c!Wilbur leaning against the pool balcony area of Las Nevadas in the early morning as c!Quackity joins him, they both look visibly haggard and fucked up (also Quackity is in a wheelchair). It's a very darkly lit scene, clarity only shown by the light of the cigarettes they share. If I were to pin a Hamilton song to this moment it would have the lines from Angelica's 'Congratulations' notably

I look at us and think, "God, what have we done with our lives, And what did it get us?"

Though I don't know if any of them would actually say anything. None of them say anything, as stubborn as the other despite everything they've been through separately, it'd take hell for either of them to truthfully open up to the other about anything let alone themselves. It's stubbornness but it's also mutual, an agreement that neither of them would apologise to the other. Two sides of the same coin, the reflections of eachother in the water being reminders of this. The both of them leave in opposite directions of the shoreline, towards bringing an end to their final arcs.

[ok ACTUAL part with c!Quackity and c!Slime are undercut. I promise]

After the title screen, this new scene actually opens a week prior to the tntduo scene up top. Quackity on his last canon life wakes up exactly where he had fallen from the hotel, a green puddle noticeably on the floor next to him.

In my headcanon, it is implied (offscreen) that out of guilt Slime jumps off the ledge after pushing Quackity - paralleling when Quackity jumped after Slime in the 27/11/2021 finale.  "the consequences will be bitter. I will not fail. Because Quackity from Las Nevadas, we have one thing in common. Through everything we've been through. The same human ruined our lives. Because you are not a good person." -Slime

The camera is a long shot, from POV of one of the deck chairs and it shows c!Foolish hurriedly rushing to Quackity's aid to help him up. [Cut to black]

At this moment in time, there is no war on the server. Las Nevadas instead dealing with a completely new problem that is the slime clones infestation. Security footage showing different places of the country just filled with the clones aimlessly wandering around. Foolish and Quackity, the only remaining members of Las Nevadas left discuss in the now-empty and ruined Amongus research bunker on what to do next. Quackity ponders, thinking about what Slime said to him on the balcony and all the things Quackity did wrong -- and so begins the true reprise of Quackity's lessons.

The general format of this section of the stream being the same as the 27/11/2021 Las Nevadas finale: Quackity says the new (revised) Lesson, and it shows Quackity teaching these lessons to the slime clones. Hypothetically there could also be a scene of Quackity making amends with Kinoko kingdom and him sending the letters to the Syndicate etc.

Meanwhile I would have liked to think Slime, now finally free from... anyone really - spends its time wandering the server interviewing all forms of life and figuring out itself on what it truly means to be human. These wouldn't happen in the one Quackity stream but small bits of Charlie's, every new day starting with Slime watching Quackity from afar. (Featuring this also helps better portray Slime as its own person beyond Quackity's influence). If I were to pin another Hamilton song to this it would be 'It's Quiet Uptown'

ANYWAY the true finale, after having grown in their respective ways - ends with the two of them in the bright dawn at the beach. They go to each other and embrace, crying and happy as the world burns to white :,]

#ask stufff #stufff rambles #quackity #slimecicle #dapduo #tntduo #(its a portion in there) #las nevadas #dsmp #dsmp lore #mcytblr #NGL anon I'm having a TIME wrestling this answer TwT #and I thinks it's because of how complicated my feelings for the 9/10/2022 Las Nevadas finale is to me #I was tempted to give a full ramble on how I would have rewritten it but that's not answering the question SO #might go back to edit this im not sure but whatevers i dont write - just plan

[scoupsahoy]

sometimes you spend two hours out of your tuesday talking about the persistence of the "steve harrington is an idiot" narrative which is basically the most consistent thru-line in the entire show

sometimes you are watching stranger things 4 and eddie munson calls steve harrington "a pretty good dude" and "oh no," you think "is this the first positive thing anyone's said to him this season?" and then, even worse, "oh god, is this the first time in the show that someone directly tells steve that he's a good person?"

and then you write a lot of words about it

like. let's take a journey.

season 1: nancy doing her little "you are an idiot steve harrington" bit, which as been talked about, but also the fact that tommy and carol are constantly making fun of him for liking nancy, almost in a "aww he doesn't know that he's pathetic" kind of way. barb thinks he's an idiot. jonathan thinks he's an idiot. we know what happened when the duffers wrote him, he was supposed to be an idiot. nancy thought he was using her for sex, and she wanted to rebel! she didn't want to date him even though steve was just so clearly fucking besotted. even the kids thought he was trouble!

on top of that: we know that his parents are never home, that they think it's pathetic that he lost his fight with jonathan (probably just threw money at the situation honestly). we know he's popular, but decidedly not well-liked.

BUT. he's like. a good guy. he apologizes to jonathan for the shit he said. he would apologize to nancy later but he knew he fucked up with jonathan. called jonathan a queer, a freak, said shit about his family, he knew it was over the line and he wanted to fix it. he ran when he saw the monster but he came back inside to save them anyway. nancy gets back together with him. he buys jonathan a new camera and has nancy give it to him as a gift because he knows jonathan wouldn't take it from him. he is smart!

concussion tracker: 1

season 2: he writes his college admissions essay, but nancy doesn't think it's good, no one thinks it's good. he knows it's not good. he's visibly nervous about it, knows his parents are going to be disappointed if he doesn't get to college. there's no more "you are an idiot steve harrington" but a wider acknowledgement that he is Not Smart. he doesn't make the Right Decisions. not to his parents, not to nancy, not by listening to the government and not talking about barb, not by being worried about his family because the government will take everything away from him.

he's a fool in love. he doesn't even realize that nancy doesn't love him. she challenges him when he says so, too, calls him crazy for it, but he's right. he heard her say it to his face and he almost lets her pretend it never happened because he loves her so much.

he's not popular anymore, either, not in his senior year, not without tommy and carol, not with billy around. he can't even keep his girlfriend, that one everyone told him was a red flag, the one that is way smarter than him, way too good for him, he's only really making her worse and she thinks so too. steve, you're so stupid for thinking everything is okay when it's bullshit! when it's obviously bullshit, everything was and you clearly didn't care and everyone knew this was all smoke and mirrors except for you.

he's still good, though, still a good guy. he gives dustin bad (but well-meaning) advice. and the thing is that he doesn't even realize that it's bad advice. it always worked for him! harrington you idiot! naive. girls don't care if you like them, youre pretty! don't you know that's why?

still, he's good! he goes to nancy's place to ask for her back and to apologize even though he knows he didnt do shit wrong. he unquestioningly takes dustin where he needs to go, protects them all from billy even though he can't fight: really, very stupid of him to try. he loses and is literally passed out for a good chunk of time but the kids are okay! he can't see or hear but he knows that if he doesn't chaperone them into the upside down that they'll probably die so he gets up and does it.

he sends nancy to go be with jonathan because "i'm a pretty shitty boyfriend, but i'm not a half-bad babysitter" (and he says this literally knowing he didn't do anything wrong. he really believes he's a pretty shitty boyfriend. he's gotta be, he's too stupid for her, not good enough, couldn't make her happy, didn't let her be right in the way that she needed to be and that just must be a universal truth). it's supposed to be humbling when he takes dustin to the snow ball, now that he's the babysitter guy, he's finally been humbled! thank god! he had such a big ego before!

concussion tracker: 2

season 3: he didn't get into college (probably because he never ended up editing that college admissions essay) (probably also because he's had two serious head injuries) and he's really fallen from grace, now. girls don't even want anything to do with him, partly because he didn't get into college, partially because he's convinced he has no game. he's insecure about it, too, because even dustin has a girlfriend from his smart nerd camp and his advice from last year didn't turn out to be any good. and not to mention what is dad thinks about him.

and steve just. doesn't hesitate for a second to help dustin with the russian spy thing without even knowing it had anything to do with the upside down. like this was no longer life and death, dustin is just his friend and he likes him. and he still helped him even when he was struggling with translation, and he was the only reason they found out it they were operating from the mall, even though everyone else thought it was stupid that he was so focused on the song.

and then he gets tortured, and manages (for the most part) to protect everyone else, takes a fucking massive beating for it, only mentions a single name when he's drugged.

and this part is extremely important to me as a robin buckley defender to the death, she straight up tells steve all about how awful he was, how big of a dick he was in mrs. click's class. and he agrees! he knows! it's hit him that the person he was in high school was this miserable asshole who didn't care about anyone else even though we've only seen a version of steve that tries and cares. nobody remembers all that. not even steve. and later he confesses to her and is straight up waxing poetic about how much fun she is and how much he likes spending time with her and how great it is to be her friend. and yeah, he likes her, he has eyes and a brain. and she shuts him down and it takes about five seconds for his brain to recalibrate.

he's good. doesn't even take a full 1986 minute to feel sorry for himself, to feel stupid for barking up the wrong tree again. doesn't take a full aids epidemic world minute to be on her side. no shit this is the guy who called jonathan a queer and immediately went to apologize. he's used to it. he's used to being wrong and he's used to transforming his love into something platonic.

he doesn't hesitate to run his car directly into billy's or back in the direction of the mind flayer. he's unafraid. he's brave. no one calls him brave to his face but they all think it.

and then right at the end, he's trying to get a new job at the movie store, where he almost doesn't get hired because he's too stupid to know anything about movies and-- isn't it funny that he walks into that cardboard cutout that was right in front of him? there goes steve harrington. the bumbling idiot.

concussion tracker: at least 4 (he got his shit rocked by the russians at least twice)

season 4: this is where it gets good. it's where it gets interesting. by which i mean it gets awful and i hate it. it's where i want to rip my hair out of my head and eat it.

spoiler alert: ive only watched volume 2 once and im currently rewatching volume 1 (which actually sparked this rant obviously), so it's going to be a bit brief talking abt v2 compared to v1

just in the very first episode, we get: steve getting negged by his date about how he was bad at basketball, steve talking about how he wants a real relationship with someone who gives a shit about him instead of just... using him for sex, steve being vocally jealous about dustin's other older male friend, steve being the only one who saw lucas win the game (other than nancy who has like never spoken to lucas) and no one acknowledging it. he's like in an accumulative like five minutes of this episode probably.

in the next few episodes, we get a lot of dustin (bless him) straight up calling steve an idiot for

suggesting they contact the police on account of all of the horrible things theyve gotten involved with and the murder that just happened

not knowing how a compass works

being careful in rick's shed in case someone tries to kill them

not knowing how walkie talkies work

not knowing where the walkie talkies are?

then there's nancy who sticks him with the kids because he isn't smart enough to pretend to know things about psychology, they need a certain type of student, says that they're not even kids anymore, that it'll be easy, as if he's only capable of the easy tasks. meanwhile the kids are constantly fighting him because they're smart and know each other well and honestly do not want to be babysat. meanwhile instinct tells steve that max is in trouble and he's right and they still fight him on it.

there's the way robin dustin and eddie tell steve how he needs nancy back (even though he's like respecting her relationship with the guy that She Left Him For) (even though she told him directly and explicitly two years ago that she was never in love with him and that their relationship was bullshit) (even though last summer he told robin all about how he would probably always love her but he knows they wouldn't work again and he's ready to move on)

and like. nobody makes long speeches about what a great guy they think steve harrington is. they all figure: he must already know. only cares about his appearance and getting girls. didn't even bother going to college. probably will skate by on his parents' money. he was popular and a dick and he's kind of an airhead. but who cares, man? it's just steve harrington.

this is the worst for me, man, is when he thanks eddie in the upside down for saving his life, and eddie immediately deflects, and steve has no shit whatsoever to say. he goes up to eddie away from the girls and starts a conversation with a guy that he was convinced was a murderer, a guy he called a freak until they saw each other (eddie: hunt the freak, right?), and starts the conversation to be like: hey! thank you! those girls know how much they mean to me but you don't and i want you to know.

eddie's like "dustin told me you were a badass and i didnt believe him but he was right" and steve is genuinely like. thrown off. dustin doesn't tell him this stuff! he thinks steve is indestructible. and then the good part: "i guess i couldn't accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. rich parents, popular, chicks love him, not a douche?"

because people always stop before they get to that part! steve has rich parents (who cut him off and are never shown because they're never home), steve is popular (or, he was back in high school but we already went over that fall from grace), chicks love him (except they historically absolutely resolutely do not, not the way he wants to be loved by them, not nancy or robin or the girl he takes to the basketball game.) -- but not a douche? when i say this might be the only genuinely nice thing said to steve about his own character in the entire show i'm really struggling to find evidence otherwise. it's honestly nicer than 95% of the shit ever said about steve, to his face or anyone else.

really, the only thing steve is good for, the only thing he has acknowledged himself for being good at, the only thing other people have openly acknowledged he was good at: babysitting

which makes the end of the season hurt all that much more, doesn't it?

he's never been allowed to hang out with the older kids. not since season 1 (even though nancy and jonathan would have 100% died if he hadn't come back). and he loves those kids. he's good at being there for them. he's stood up directly from more than one serious brain injury and immediately did the right thing by them, for them, sacrificed himself for them, only really complained about it in season 4 because at that point it becomes personal, not circumstantial. he's not asked by the kids to help, he's asked by the older people who don't think he can handle any more than them.

i'll say this, too, because it hurts my feelings and idk where else to put it: when max is running up that hill, she calls for dustin and lucas. over and over again. when eddie calls the party over the walkie, he asks for dustin and nancy. steve is always there but no one asks for him. he's going to be there. he's going to instrumental in helping them. but they do not ask for him when theyre scared or in trouble. nobody does and he comes back every single time. he's always there to hear their desperation but he knows he's not who they want!

and i feel like the steve harrington that they want us to think existed would have a snarky comment every time: "i'm here too, you know" but he doesn't. something tells me he doesn't expect to be wanted.

it's just something i noticed.

and then volume 2 hits. they have this big plan. for once, he goes with the big kids. him and his two girls. he trusts eddie and dustin to keep each other safe. he lets max and lucas keep each other safe. he does this even though he always always makes sure they are safe first before saving himself. always. (getting the kids out of the upside down, getting the kids out of the rapidly closing russian elevator, ushering them out, actively putting himself in danger, using his body as a shield. he walks into battle every single time expecting to sacrifice himself for these kids. and this time he goes with robin and nancy to fight the big bad, leaves the smaller things to the kids who desperately want him to stop babysitting them. he figures: max and lucas can handle it themselves, they told me time and time again. dustin and eddie are close and they understand each other in a way i dont get to understand dustin, they can handle it themselves.

steve harrington, you bumbling idiot, listen to them for once! they're smarter than you, anyway, you really hold them back.

and then what? eddie dies, right there in dustin's arms. eddie who is the only person who has actually genuinely told steve that he's a good person that he likes spending time with. even though he told them both not to be a hero. because he knew he wouldnt be able to save them this one time. and dustin had to watch.

and then what? max dies and then lives and then gets put in a coma. he wasn't there like he was in the graveyard. he was the only reason they realized soon enough back then and this time he wasn't there to save her from vecna.

and then what? lucas and erica are nearly killed by jason and the other basketball goons, genuinely violently hate-crimed. and like. steve was wildly popular. he fell from grace but you know jason probably respected him in some weird jock way, would probably listen to steve as like a fucking white guy. and steve can throw a punch

before the got in the fight he and robin were like: i think we're going to lose

and i know steve feels like: i stepped away from my post. the only thing i was good at, the only thing anyone respected me for. i set up this plan and it got people killed. i was tired of being the babysitter and! now! look!

concussion tracker: still probably at least 4 but also i'd like to mention that he gets strangled literally twice this season for like a significant amount of time which is decidedly bad for your brain

tldr: steve harrington, fiercely loyal, canonically neglected, chronically self-sacrificial, disliked at some point by every single character on the show, constantly underestimated, openly self-conscious about his intelligence (both before and after sustaining several severe brain injuries) and how other people perceive him and if people like him and want him around, has given everything for the entire party and he needs to get something back in season 5.

he needs someone other than nancy to tell him he's a good person and a good force in their lives. he needs his final story arc to not be about his romance with nancy (they both need this). he needs dustin to open up to him about eddie's death. he needs someone to trust him with something other than their physical safety. he has never once turned someone away.

and, because he's my blorbo and i want to see him suffer, just a little bit, i want the show to acknowledge how badly he would take the blame for eddie and max and lucas specifically. it is the one time he was not there, it was the one time they lost. he's my steve harrington and i get to project my massive guilt complex onto him as much as i damn well please. and then i want someone to tell him how good he is. for the love of fucking god.

#steve harrington #stranger things #meta #character analysis #stranger things 4 #stranger things season 4 #eddie munson #steve harrington: always the babysitter never the baby #steddie #please read this it's all ive thought about all fucking day #mine

[zablife]

As Long As I Live (Part 4)

Tommy Shelby & Amelia Holland (OC) x Bonnie Gold

Summary: When things go wrong at Lizzie's party, Tommy proposes a solution Amelia finds difficult to accept.

Author's Note: Requested by the lovely @kpopgirlbtssvt. This will be the final part to the series and the longest at 4K words!

Warnings: drinking, language, mention of assault and blood, mention of pregnancy, minor character death

Masterlist

“How long is a fucking ballet anyway?” Arthur asked, fumbling inside his coat pocket for his flask of whisky. Finn only shrugged in reply, barely watching the performance himself in favor of staring at his pocket watch. He ducked his head to study the time, only to find the minutes passing more slowly than before. He gave a tired exhale of breath as a hand clamped over his shoulder.

“Finn, we need to get Tommy,” Isaiah said out of breath and uncharacteristically rattled by something. 

“Thought you were supposed to be with Amelia,” Finn noted. “Tommy’ll have your balls if something happens to her.”

Isaiah’s face turned grim as he confided, “Something’s already happened, mate. She’s probably with Frances by now, but Tommy should come to the garden straight away,” he urged.

“Y-yeah, ok,” Finn stammered as he moved into action, glancing at Arthur who didn't look like he'd be much help in his state of inebriation. 

Quickly shuffling between seats, Finn found Tommy and whispered to him. Watching Tommy excuse himself from the front row, Lizzie pressed her fingertips to her temples, willing away a throbbing headache, unaware the night was about to get worse.

As Tommy rounded the corner of the garden he found Bonnie throttling another man, arm pulled back to deliver a punch. “Oi! Get the fuck up!” he yelled, pulling Bonnie off with all his strength and struggling to contain him.

“What’s going on?” he demanded to know, squinting in the dim light to make out the bruised and bleeding figure on the ground. The man rose to a sitting position, holding his ribs and heaving for breath as he searched for a handkerchief to dab at his bloody nose. A sliver of light cut across the garden path illuminating his face and Tommy’s eyebrows raised at the sight of Sir Oswald Mosley.

“One of your thugs attacked me,” Mosley accused, pushing himself up from the ground with great effort. 

Tommy looked to Bonnie for an explanation and Bonnie turned away as he stuttered, “He-he had Amelia. If I hadn’t come-” Tommy held up his hand, his mouth suddenly too dry to speak. He understood Bonnie’s meaning immediately as Mosley’s ghastly reputation preceded him. It wasn’t hard to believe, though he did wonder why Isaiah hadn’t kept her away from the party like he asked. It was no time for that, however, as he attempted to handle the matter at hand.

“I want to know what you’re going to do about this, Shelby,” Mosley demanded, stalking toward Tommy angrily. “This animal belongs in jail for attempted murder,” he seethed, pointing at Bonnie. 

“Nevertheless, you attacked one of my guests first,” Tommy replied, attempting to restrain the venom seeping into his voice. 

Mosley scoffed at Tommy’s comment, taking the handkerchief from his face as he sneered, “One of the whores you employed for the evening?” He waited for Tommy to take the bait, revealing the true nature of the relationship. However, Tommy held firm, swallowing harshly to hold down the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. Seeing no other option, he realized he would have to acquiesce to Mosley’s demands or give that illusion until he could formulate a plan.  

“Alright,” Tommy reluctantly agreed. “If you’ll step inside I’ll make the necessary calls and see that you receive proper medical attention,” he said with lips pursed tight, otherwise expressionless to hide the fear of how he might find Amelia. Tommy exchanged one last concerned look with Bonnie before escorting Mosley inside, his mind preoccupied with his daughter’s well-being before he could begin to think of a solution to this catastrophe. 

———————————-

The next morning blinders guarding the front entrance of Arrow House could hear the shouting from Tommy's office. It reverberated off the paneled walls and down the corridor. The men exchanged nervous glances as pieces of the conversation drifted out toward them. For the better part of an hour Tommy attempted to persuade Amelia to flee without providing details of his treacherous ties to Sir Oswald Mosley. However, his proposal of having her return to a life of travel with Bonnie Gold was not something she was prepared to entertain. 

“How could you do this? Cast me off like some cursed soul?”Amelia yelled. She realized she was being dramatic, but that’s how she felt. 

“Amelia, please, I’m trying to see that you’re taken care of and...,” Tommy trailed off, words failing him suddenly. Was he doing what was right? He’d only just gotten her back. Could he relinquish her so easily? He wasn’t so sure of his decision now that he was saying it out loud, but this was the best plan he could think of on short notice. 

“You’d never do this to Charlie or Ruby!” she shouted, turning to face him with tears stinging her eyes. At a time when she had finally come to believe her father loved his children equally, this was irrefutable proof he saw them very differently. Although she had been attacked in the garden, she felt she was being blamed for it. Her father's insistence on her protection felt more like banishment so he could continue living a life of respectability amongst the toffs he claimed to despise. 

Tommy halted, taking a deep breath as he thought about what he was asking of his eldest daughter. Amelia took his silence as complacency and it infuriated her more. When he finally began to speak she wouldn’t allow more than a few words. He began, “Amelia, I wish you’d consider…” before she interrupted.

“I don’t want to hear about Bonnie Gold again as long as I live!” she said defiantly.

Tommy removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose as he exhaled loudly. She was stubborn and headstrong, qualities he loved about her normally. However, faced with the sickening fingerprint shaped bruises on her neck, he was desperate to get her to safety. “What if Aberama and Polly go with ya?” he pleaded. He clenched his fists to hold back the feelings of helplessness he’d experienced when Izzy disappeared all those years ago, willing this time to be different. 

Amelia looked at Tommy with fiery determination wanting to object, but knowing it was useless because her father was also relentless when he wanted something. It was a battle she would surely loose, a humiliating defeat with only her heart at stake. Finally she gave in with a slow nod of agreement.

Tommy’s posture instantly relaxed knowing he’d found a compromise. “Thank you, Amelia. It’s for the best,” he assured her.

“For me or your fucking career?” she bit back.

“That’s not why I’m doing this,” Tommy urged, holding her gaze in hopes she would recognize the sincerity of his words. 

"It doesn't change the fact that you're giving up on me. Because that's what you do when things are too difficult for you to handle, isn't it? You abandon people... like you did with mum," she confronted him, voice constricting in her throat. 

Tommy felt an uncomfortable weight settle in his chest at her accusation. “I wanted you here, Amelia. It just couldn’t be,” he murmured. He wished to express how much she meant to him, but his words fell away as he noticed the look of disillusionment spreading over her like a disease. 

Amelia’s stare remained harsh as she waited for something more. An apology would have been a start, though she knew her father was unaccustomed to issuing them under any circumstances. 

"You should pack," Tommy finally told her, in a resigned voice.

Amelia shook her head in disgust and turned on her heel, slamming the door behind her as she went. Passing Lizzie in the hallway, she ran to her room.

As Lizzie entered, she found Tommy slumped forward in his chair, elbows on his knees, contemplating what Amelia had said.

“Tommy, what’s happened?” Lizzie asked, pulling her dressing gown closed against the chill.

Tommy exhaled slowly, reaching for a cigarette. He took his time lighting one for his wife and himself before answering, “I’ve fucked it all up, Lizzie, and now she’ll never forgive me.”

“What did you say?” Lizzie asked hesitantly and Tommy told her plainly what was to come. He explained how Moss would arrange Bonnie’s transport early the next morning with just enough time for his men to intercept at a crossroads. Then Aberama and Polly were  to whisk him away deep into the mountains. He held his breath before admitting Amelia would be with them.

“Oh, Tommy, no,” she sighed, abandoning her cigarette in the ashtray and collapsing into a chair. “You promised me she’d be taken care of after everything…” she said, lowering her head into her hands.

“And she will,” Tommy said, coming to stand next to his wife’s side.

Lizzie looked up at him with a shake of her head. “I don’t understand you sometimes. What is this good that you will become?” she demanded to know. “When you turn away your own family. Is this work with bloody fascists so important you’d lose everyone you care about?” 

“Lizzie, please, I need you to understand,” he said, reaching for her hand, but she stood suddenly to avoid his touch. Walking to the door without a backward glance, she left him alone with his thoughts and his regrets.

————————

There was something comforting about being in nature again after nearly a year on Tommy's estate. Now that she was back on the road, it was as though she’d never left. The circling of the crows overheard and the welcoming softness of the velvety moss under her feet were all she needed to feel at home again. Despite the desperate ache she felt leaving her younger siblings behind, she soon found routine in her chores and conversations with Polly, who helped her understand the person her father became in order to survive after the war.  Amelia listened to the stories out of curiosity, but disregarded the silent plea for forgiveness. That wasn’t something she was prepared to give just yet.

Sometimes she contemplated what her life might have been if she’d disobeyed her father and stayed near Small Heath, but those were only fleeting thoughts. She wouldn’t stay where she wasn’t wanted. It was a thought that crept up on her, chilling her even in the warmth of the campfire. Amelia shivered as she stared into the abyss of the flickering light, too lost in the past to notice Aberama approaching. She startled at the feeling of his large palm on her shoulder when he softly asked, "May I sit with you, child?”

She immediately nodded in agreement, gladly accepting his company as she had changed her opinion of him during their travels. He’d proven himself to be generous with her, ensuring her comfort by providing plenty of fresh meat and repairing the old vardo where she slept. She’d also witnessed his fair and honest dealings when trading and felt ashamed at her earlier accusations. 

Taking up a place on a log beside her, Aberama stoked the fire before rubbing his hands together to feel the warmth radiating from the flames. If there was a moment to say what he'd been holding back, now was the time. "You know, I traveled with the Hollands many years ago," he said with a small smile playing on his lips at the memory.

Amelia's head shot up at the mention of her mum’s family, fingers clasping the gem at her throat nervously. "You did?" she asked hesitantly.

"Aye, and I knew your mother," he recalled. "You'd not find anyone better with horses," he mused, eyes drifting upward with the curls of smoke twisting in the night air. Then he added sadly, "She was a rare gem and she would have made a fine wife."

Amelia swallowed a lump in her throat as she asked, “I don’t understand. Were you in love with her, Mr. Gold?”

His head dropped as he huffed out a little laugh, “I think everyone loved Isidora, but we all knew her heart belonged to Tommy Shelby,” he said, reaching for a piece of kindling and his small pocket knife to distract himself with a bit of carving. He was growing nervous at the thought of revealing secrets long buried and looked to his work instead of the girl at his side as he continued. “Amelia. I didn't think it was my place to say anything before, but now perhaps you should know something," he ventured. 

However, Amelia soon grew uncomfortable and attempted to push away the topic that caused a deep chasm to open within her chest. "It's alright, I know my father abandoned her when she was pregnant," she said dismissively, rubbing her thumb over the sapphire in silent apology to her mum. 

Aberama's hands dropped to his sides as he stopped to look at Amelia with a look of confusion, mixed with pain. "No, child, he loved that woman."

Amelia scoffed, "You must have him mistaken for someone else. He never wanted her...or me," she noted bitterly.

"That's where you're wrong," Aberama corrected. “Your parents were very much in love, but your grandfather kept them apart because of a feud.”

“Dad never mentioned that last part,” Amelia said, knitting her brows. 

Aberama considered the piece of wood he held in his hand as he said, “I doubt he knew his father’s deceitfulness caused him to lose Izzy.” He glanced up at Amelia with a mournful look, wishing he weren’t the one to tell her this.

“Your grandfathers were friends. Well, they gambled quite a lot together,” he corrected himself. “Izzy’s father owed money to Tommy's father and in 1914 they began to quarrel," he explained. Amelia leaned forward unsure if she wanted to hear more. Aberama took a deep breath before continuing. "Soon after Izzy fell pregnant and her father came to believe it was some kind of retribution. He was outraged that the Shelbys would collect a debt in such a manner so he sent her away. Said he’d be damned if she married a man with no honor. Of course, your father went to war and by the time he returned, you and your mother were long gone.”

Amelia's eyes were wide with shock and disbelief, wondering if this misunderstanding could be the cause of so much pain. Furrowing her brow she asked the question still lingering in her mind. “But…that doesn't explain why my father never looked for her," she said accusingly.

"He did. For years he asked my family for help, but we never found her,” he said in a voice close to a whisper. Amelia could see the look of regret etched on his face and didn’t ask anything more, choosing to sit in pensive silence. She knew there was little else he could have done to help, time ticking away the years her mother had left before fever claimed her life. She knew from Polly’s stories that in those years Tommy became a hardened criminal and any suspicion the family had about him was cemented in his deeds with the Peaky Blinders.

Amelia’s fingertips lingered over her necklace as she thought of the promise it contained and she realized her father had told the truth when he said he was coming back for his true love after France. She sat back against a log, taking in a deep breath as she closed her eyes and imagined her parents together. It healed her fractured heart to know that they had been happy for a brief time and in a way, their love remained through her.

With the fire crackling between them, Aberama studied Amelia and watched a look of contentment settle over her face. He placed his knife in his pocket with a nod, standing and brushing himself off before leaving the campfire. As she listened to his footsteps, Amelia’s eyes opened and she called out, “thank you.”

Aberama turned back and tipped his head toward her in acknowledgment before joining Polly in their vardo.

———————————

Amelia didn’t spend much time with Bonnie when they first set off into the mountains. He reminded her of the awful night at Arrow House that drove them all away. Sometimes when she looked at him she blamed his jealousy, and the temper Aberama claimed he inherited from his mother, for what happened. However, as time passed, she found it hard to hold a grudge. As her own mood improved she became curious to know Bonnie, though occasions were now rare seeing that he often kept his distance from her.

Sitting by the riverbank, Amelia watched Bonnie cross a log, his feet swift and sure, never faltering, and it reminded her of the day in the boxing ring when he'd shown such promise. Suddenly she found herself thinking of everything he’d given up that night in the garden after she dared to spit in Mosley's face, provoking his animalistic impulses. 

Unable to contain the question as it came to her she blurted out, “Do you hate me?”

Bonnie wobbled on the log for the first time, looking over at her in surprise. He'd waited for the moment Amelia might speak to him again. He feared she might never trust him after the beating he gave Mosley. Thoughts echoed in his mind about the brutality she’d witnessed from him, even after she yelled for him to stop, protesting how she could have managed on her own. But the image of Mosley's hand against her throat as he ripped Amelia's dress replayed on a loop nearly every night and he knew he’d do it all again if necessary to keep her from harm.

Without a hint of hesitation, he replied to her question, “Course I don’t hate ya.” He made his way to the end of the log and jumped down, joining her on the soft grass. “What makes you say that?”

“You’ll never get to live your dream now. Don’t you remember the day in the gym when you told me you wanted to be a champion?” Amelia asked sadly, turning her face away from Bonnie and hiding in her shoulder. 

“I didn’t say that, dove. You did,” Bonnie reminded her gently, looking out over the river.

“What?” she asked in confusion.

“I said I didn’t want to waste my life and I’m not so long as I’m with you,” he replied.

Amelia peeked out from her hiding place, to glance at Bonnie. He laid back against the grass looking up at the passing clouds as he continued, “The day I met you in the stables, I knew you weren’t like anyone I’d ever met. You've got a wild spirit that makes ya fearless. Hell, sometimes I watch you just to see what you'll do next!" An easy laugh escaped his lips and he rolled over to lean on his elbow looking at Amelia as he turned serious. "If I never went back to boxing again, that’d be alright.”

“You’re lying,” Amelia sniffed, though she felt the truth behind the sentiment in the gentle way he spoke, without rushing his words.

Bonnie's heart caught in his chest as she began to cry. He moved toward her slowly, coming to kneel beside her. “M not. Even if you said you hated me, I’d stay.”

“Why?” she asked. “After all this..” she wondered aloud, wiping a tear away with the back of her hand.

Bonnie shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “Stubborn, I reckon,” he said with a grin, ducking to catch her gaze.

“That’s it?” she giggled in spite of herself.

“No," he said with a soft shake of his head, hand brushing over the luscious grass as he plucked a daisy from the ground. "I’d like to get to know you better cos there’s something else I think I’d like to ask you one day,” he said, offering her the flower and the whole world all at once.

———————

Eight months later…

Arrow House was quiet with the children at school and Lizzie attending a meeting for one of her charities. Only Cyril was left to keep Tommy company on this cold winter’s day, but he didn’t mind. He was soaking in the last moments of tranquil solitude before the entire family would be reunited at last. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so at ease. With Mosley's assassination, his plans for the party could go forward and Bonnie and Amelia were now safe to return home.

A fortnight ago he sent Johnny Dogs to deliver a handwritten message, asking her home to talk and offering an apology for the way they parted. He finally found the words he’d been unable to speak months ago. Though the letter had unburdened his soul, he hadn't slept until he received word she would see him. He also promised Lizzie not to interfere with Amelia's plans after the visit, allowing her to choose her own path now that she was eighteen. 

As luck would have it, she and Bonnie arrived two days before Christmas looking well and much more agreeable than when they left. Tommy wondered what transpired in their time in the mountains, ushering them into his office for a chat. The pair beamed as they requested an audience with both Tommy and Lizzie, smiling from ear to ear. 

As drinks were poured and everyone found a seat in Tommy’s large study, Lizzie held her breath, noticing the obvious sparks between the young couple. Amelia was the first to speak, a glow about her as she excitedly announced her engagement to Bonnie Gold.

“And what, might I ask, happened to “not as long as I live?” Tommy asked incredulously from his place beside his wife.

“Shhh, Tommy,” Lizzie hushed him. Whispering in his ear, she reminded him of his promise to concentrate on Amelia’s happiness from now on. He waved her off, saying, “Alright, alright, Lizzie.”

“Of course, you have my blessing,” he said, standing and extending a hand toward Bonnie.

“Thank you, Mr. Shelby, sir,” Bonnie replied with a wide grin. He pumped Tommy’s hand with a bit too much vigor, excitement and adrenaline coursing through him. 

Lizzie rose from her seat to offer her congratulations to Bonnie and Amelia faced Tommy. She  clutched his letter she’d kept in her pocket since she’d received it. “I’m sorry too, Dad,” she whispered as he held her in a long embrace.

Tommy pulled away to study her dewy eyes asking, “What do you have to be sorry for, eh?”

“I said the worst things before I left. I was hurt, but I didn’t realize you were in pain too,” she managed in a shaky voice, stopping to look deeply into his eyes. “I’m sorry you lost mum, but you won’t lose me again,” she promised.

The breath left Tommy’s lungs as he listened to Amelia’s heartfelt declaration, leaving him speechless and happier than he’d felt all year. As Lizzie looked to them with a tilt of her head, she decided not to pry into their private moment. Instead, she asked the group, “Shall we ask Frances to open a bottle of champagne? We should celebrate properly!”

“We should,” Tommy agreed with a wide grin. “Me daughter’s home and she’s getting married. It’s a good day,” Tommy declared, staring back at Amelia with a look of pride. 

Lizzie looped her arm in his and they set out toward the dining room, peppering Bonnie with questions about his adventures, his easy laugh filling the corridor. 

Amelia watched them happily as she placed a hand over her necklace, feeling the presence of her mother beside her. She hadn’t experienced this kind of inner peace for a long time. The circumstances of her short life had taught her to be wary of this feeling as it was ever changing and tended to shift beneath her feet whenever she found herself on stable ground. However, when she married Bonnie Gold the following spring she knew it was everlasting. As she stood before him in a flowing white dress and a crown of daisies adorning her thick mane of dark curls, she was comforted by the quiet promise in his voice when he proclaimed, “I will love, honor and cherish you for as long as I live.”

----------

Tag list:

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@evita-shelby

@shelbydelrey

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@izabesworld

#Peaky Blinders fanfic #Peaky Blinders imagine #Tommy Shelby fanfic #Tommy Shelby imagine #Bonnie Gold fanfic #Bonnie Gold imagine #Bonnie Gold x OC

[lillian-gallows]

Kinktober Day 3: Hatefucking with Steve Harrington.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader. Word count: 1477 Warnings: Hatefucking (Or my shitty attempt at it), P in V, Lil bit of dirty talk, OOC!Steve Harrington (That bean would never act like this). Kinktober Master(sub)list.

Minors DNI

Normally when someone carries the titles of King and Queen in high school, it means they’re together. Or at least like each other. Friends at the bare minimum.

You and Steve Harrington are anything but.

Tommy and Carol like to joke about the “Kingdome being in strife because the King and Queen hate each other” which usually results in one of you telling the pair to shut up.

It really was hate at first sight for the pair of you. Starting at the beginning of middle school and following you into high school. Looking back, you don’t even remember what was done or said that put you two at odds to begin with, probably something stupid and juvenile, but it didn’t matter seeing as you both took turns doubling down on antagonizing each other ever since.

It was a rare day that you deigned to sit at the same table with Harrington, usually it was because he was dating, or fucking, one of the other cheerleaders and was sitting with her at the same table as you.

He’d tried to bury the hatchet once, in freshman year, asked you out on a date and talk everything out, at the time you’d thought he was being serious, genuine, his eyes had shone with what at the time looked like honesty, but then you saw Tommy and Carol giggling and whispering behind him and saw through the façade.

Your adamant no, sprinkled with a few choice words explaining why, and a couple more aimed at the giggling pair of assholes you associated with for no more reason than they usually supplied alcohol for your parties, was all it took for everything to pick up right where it left off.

You’d ranted and raved for hours to your friends about everything wrong with Steve Harrington, he was a womanizer, an bully at worst and complicit to bullying at worst, and that wasn’t to mention some of the things he’s said and done to you over the years, granted some of it was in retaliation to stuff you did, but he usually delt the first blows when you would square off.

Now, you would be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive in the physical sense, anyone with eyes could see he was pretty, between his hair, eyes, and physique, it was an undeniable truth that any girl in the school would want to fuck him.

If he had any other personality, you’d be one of them, but you prided yourself on resisting his charms, it helped that they were never aimed solely at you, but that was beside the point!

So how, in the literal fuck, did you come to find yourself bent over a desk in the home office of one of the other cheerleaders houses during one of the first parties of the year, with the very same asshole railing you from behind better than any other guy you’ve ever fucked?

Might have something to do with the two drinks you’d had, liquid courage and all that. It didn’t matter now, not with his big hands gripping your hips to pull you back into his thrusts, driving his thick cock deeper and hitting your g-spot head on.

“Fuck…You like that? Like how that feels?” You’d never pictured Steve Harrington to be the talkative type, but he made it work, voice heavy with hot breaths, smirk almost audible when you let out a pleased sound at a particularly good thrust. “Yeah, you do…Best cock this slutty little hole’s ever had.” He practically growled with a thrust harder than the rest, so much it almost reached painful in the unpleasant way.

White hot anger met your lust halfway as you bucked your hips back against him just right to both knock him back a step, and dislodge him from inside you, giving you just enough space to turn in his hold and shove him back into the desk chair.

“If I wanted to hear you talk. I’ve gone on a date with you.” You said through your teeth as you straddled his lap, mentally hoping the chair could handle your combined weight, finger weaving into the hair on the back of his head and giving it a sharp pull to tilt his head back. “So, shut the fuck up, and fuck me.”

His grin was feral as he looked up at you through those damned dark lashes, chestnut eyes burning hot. “Yes, Ma’am.” He said so quietly it was almost a hiss.

He held his cock in place for you to settle on, but offered no assistance other that that, not that he comfortably could with the way you were still gripping his hair, though with the pretty flush that was spreading down his neck, he didn’t hate how it felt.

With him nestled snuggly back inside you, the new angle making him feel somehow bigger than he had before, you set a slow rhythm first to get your bearings, then sped up when you felt more confident in the motions.

The room was full of the lewd sounds of your wet pussy moving over him, of your heavy breaths and the slapping of skin, and the faint sound of music and conversation in the living room downstairs. Slow rolls of pleasure worked their way up and down your spine, making you clench down on him every so often, which you saw made his eyes flutter just a little every time.

As you moved you could feel Steve’s eyes trained on where your bodies met, his gaze all but burning your skin, but it seemed that letting you do all the work wasn’t on his agenda as one of his hands, which had been gripping your hips, moved up to knead your tit roughly, though not unpleasantly, feet planting so he could move his hips to meet your movements, making the sounds of skin on skin louder.

The slow rolls of pleasure turned into sharp zings that had your tightening with every thrust in, and you could see him fighting to keep his eyes from rolling back in pleasure. “What’s the matter, Pretty boy? Never had pussy this good?” You taunted on panting breaths.

His sharp eyes snapped back into focus, filled with the same anger meets lust look you’d had moments ago.

That was the only warning you got before he was standing with you in his arms, and all but slamming you on your back on the desk.

The jarring movement, and sheer unexpectedness of it, knocked you a little for a loop, which gave him the chance to pin your hands over your head, giving him full control over the situation once more.

Rather than make a smart quip he set another brutal rhythm, clearly chasing his pleasure more than yours, but the only indicator of that was that he wasn’t looking at you anymore, as you were still clenching around him, now feeling that sweet building of pressure low in your belly that told you would cum soon.

And he could tell too if the way he was making choked off little noises, like he was trying not to moan, was anything to go by.

You came first, that much was certain.

You hadn’t been fighting it, trying not to cum, but even if you had it would have been a futile effort, between him still rubbing hard against your g-spot with every thrust, and his pelvis grinding against your clit in the same movement, it would have taken some pretty gnarly thoughts to keep your orgasm away.

And when it hit, it hit hard. A knot tight in your belly snapping, sending you arching up into him with a breathless gasp, and clenching around him tighter than you had the whole night as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through you.

He followed shortly after you, a low sound that you could tell he tried to swallow and failed, his hot shuddery breaths fanning over your neck where his face was buried.

You both stayed there, panting, basking in the last dregs of your pleasure, for a couple of moments, before he sat up and pulled out with a word or glance at you, yanking his jeans back up and buttoning them as he walked away like he hadn’t just had a clearly mind blowing orgasm.

Cocky bastard.

You gave him the same level of attention as you scooted to the edge of the desk, righting your skirt and pulling your panties back into place from where they were hanging around one of your ankles.

He left before you did and was in the backyard watching Tommy do a keg stand when you emerged, you glared at each other as you stood by the punch bowl, silent mutual hatred, but it felt different now.

Shit.

#kinktober #kinktober2023 #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic

[keyslox]

have you ever noticed how part of c!jack’s character is he is obscure and nobody really knows him and how in the fandom he is also obscure and nobody really knows him

Jack Manifold was never really given the time of day. Sure, he had a small part in the server (ultimately the one who ended the whole thing), but his presence was not respected all that much. Placed into the lowest rank of L’Manberg’s cabinet, killed by Wilbur Soot for ‘not being seen’. He never got a REAL apology for that, by the way. I will stand by the fact that Wilbit’s apology to Jack was manipulative, half-assed, and more for himself than Jack’s wellbeing. It was well before the ‘Apology arc’ and THAT IN OF ITSELF shows just how little it actually meant to Wilbur. He was just doing it to make himself feel better and didn’t actually have Jack’s feelings in mind.

The biggest thing I see going around is Tommy being excused for what he did to Jack. Killing him when Jack went to visit him in the Nether during his Exile. Tommy has trauma. We all know that. He was a victim to extreme manipulation and abuse and a slew of other things. Yet he blatantly ignores every attempt, denies and/or doesn’t fully grasp that he did what he did. Which I can understand because the dude went through severe trauma, but that’s not an excuse. He still needs to take the accountability for his actions.

Jack deserves so much more than he’s ever gotten and it SHOWS. He literally wants friends. That’s it. He wants friend and companionship and he wants what he THOUGHT he had. Because he never actually had it. If he had it Wilbur wouldn’t have killed him, Tommy would actually listen, and he would be shown an ounce of respect for his own traumas and hardships when he tries to talk about it all. All everyone does is dismiss, downplay, and invalidate c!Jack’s pain. That’s a big reason why he’s the way he is! Every other attempt to let himself express his issues ends in him feeling worse about himself.

And we’ve seen time and time again that everyone else Jack tries to talk to and vent to takes Tommy’s side! (Ex: Puffy) There’s bias that Tommy can do no wrong and is the ‘savior’ of the smp. But even if he’s the ‘main protagonist’ doesn’t diminish he causes pain.

They give the excuse that Tommy was a child, that children should be protected and yada yada. Jack was more-or-less a child when he first joined, too! He should have the same excuses, the same treatment as all the other kids on the smp but he doesn’t because he was left alone and had to grow up faster.

He didn’t have anyone to lean against, so he just never let himself fall. And when he inevitably did no one cared or batted an eye because no one was there. He died 3 times and no one batted an eye.

The fandom is so bias sometimes. I’m not huge on DAMP fanfics that involve Jack because they mischaracterize him so much. Put him as a bully in School AUs, make him mean and rude for no reason. The reason in canon is because no one gave a single fuck about him. (not including Niki) Jack had a reason for being ‘cruel’, no one else did. It comes with the fact that Jack’s POV just isn’t as watched, so people don’t know his side of things. But what bothers me is that it feels like fans don’t even try to see stuff from his point of view. He was abused, manipulated, killed, and used in his own right. If everyone else gets excuses for the shit they did, he deserves it too.

Below is how I interpreted Jack’s ending, and how, despite everything he’s gone through, his character gets some sort of ending that isn’t completely angsty. I acknowledge that Jack isn’t the morally-perfect character, that he was fueled by anger and rage. He had a slight victim complex. But from a more basic pov, and for the fans who don’t really understand his character, I think he was redemptive. In his own right.

REDEMPTION:

From its literal definition Redemption is “An act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed. deliverance; rescue.” The state of being redeemed comes in many shapes and sizes. Actions and words big and small. For some it may take great showings of purpose and selflessness. For others it can be as simple as “I’m sorry.”

Someone can go their whole entire lives fighting with something they ultimately in the end agree with. A lot of it is a matter of perspective. Jack only had one perspective.

Jack was alone for most of his life on the dsmp. Yes he had friends in the beginning but wars and betrayal had him distancing himself and trying to find ways to fix it. None ever worked. Because he was alone. When you only work with one perspective you don’t understand the other side, and how it might actually clear things up and switch your own views.

It only took Jack a matter of minutes after arguing with Tubbo for him to realize he didn’t have the whole picture. Someone so close to Tommy, someone who WAS there to see the other side of things. Someone Jack trusts and respects, who’d he call a friend, to listen and then fight him on his thoughts even if it was in the form of an argument. Though he fucked up and killed everyone, I think his actions of still attempting to save Tommy with Tubbo have given him a bit of redemption. Not all, everyone has faults. But he was on the path to healing when he died. If only for a few minutes.

Jack died by his own hands trying to right his wrong. If that’s not a symbolic Jack ending I don’t really know what is.

#jack manifold #c!jack #mcyt #jackmanifoldtv #dsmp jack manifold #mcyt jack manifold #dsmp tommyinnit #dsmp wilbur #dsmp tubbo #dsmp #dsmp lore #keyslox c!jack thoughts

[voted4exile]

understanding, not forgiveness

/dsmp rp

The biggest misconception about Tommy’s Last Stream is that c!Tommy forgave c!Dream. This never happened!

From the moment he steps into the main cell, c!Tommy does everything to keep both c!Dream and c!Punz from leaving. From challenging the two, to taunting c!Dream, to questioning his motives, to asking for his perspective of the server, c!Tommy tries many things. It’s clear that he’s not really interested or listening to what c!Dream or c!Punz has to say. All he cares about is stalling for c!Tubbo.

Tommy: K. I’ve muted. I just need to stall. I just need to stall them. [19:09]

Tommy: What do I say? Just to keep him here. What would keep him here? What would keep them here? Um… [19:58]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, faster, Tubbo. [25:40]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo. [28:38]

After the last time he quietly calls for c!Tubbo, c!Dream goes on about how he was pushed to hit back, how he did evil things, and how c!Tommy could have been stuck in limbo forever. But c!Dream has the means to bring people back, and he doesn’t want life to be temporary.

That’s when c!Tommy chooses to discard items in the lava to put his armor away. He faces c!Dream and apologizes.

Tommy: You know what, Dream? I’m sorry. Because you’re right. Maybe you were having more fun. Maybe you were happy before I joined. But you can’t control who comes in and out. And- And- You know, you can have all these little areas, and that’s fun, but we’re all in this Dream SMP together. But you spent your entire life trying to get power, and before this revive book, you were the same alright. Before you had this power that you’ve always craved and you’ve got now, alright. You were the same old. I just don’t know how you can live with yourself. [30:25]

This apology might be genuine or it might be another tactic to stall. Just two minutes ago he was asking for c!Tubbo to hurry, so it’s more likely that he is saying whatever he can.

Not too long after, c!Dream kills c!Tommy, sending him to limbo. c!Tommy witnesses c!Dream’s first moments on the Dream SMP. When he is revived, he comes back, reeling from the pain. But once he gathers his bearings, he tells c!Dream about the vision he had. A vision of a happier c!Dream with c!George and c!Sapnap, living a simple life. c!Tommy realizes c!Dream wasn’t always evil and that what he really wants is something simple.

Dream: Well, we can go- We can get back- back to that. Once we understand the server, once we understand how life works and everything, then we- everyone will be- Y’know, they’ll be…

Tommy: That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it? You just want it to be simple. *scoffs* Dream. I thought you were complicated. I thought- God, I thought you were a villain, Dream. I thought you were. [38:32]

This isn’t c!Tommy forgiving him, and c!Tommy is not saying c!Dream is innocent. He makes it clear that what c!Dream is doing is still wrong.

Tommy: I’m saying I think I understand you. And I don’t- I don’t think we’ve ever had a moment, since I joined, of being on the same side, the same page. But Dream. That’s okay. But this? Your way of doing this, of having to kill everyone else? That’s- You- That’s not right. This. This! A fucking torture trap! A Saw trap! Where one person has to survive? That’s not okay. But this, Dream. This- What you have inside you? You just want friends. Aw, me too, man. I get that. I get that! [40:26]

c!Tommy is being genuine when he says he understands c!Dream. It’s no longer about stalling. Unlike before, he has stopped calling for c!Tubbo to hurry up. He’s actively listening to c!Dream. He even tells c!Dream to “Speak up” when c!Punz talks over him. Most importantly, he actually asks c!Dream to call off the plan so they can leave the prison. 

Tommy: It’s not too late, man. You don’t need this. This life of prison, of killing, of torture, you could- You can stop this now. And we can leave this prison. [42:08]

This moment best supports that c!Tommy is being genuine. He is offering c!Dream an exit from both his plan and the prison itself. It’s no longer about keeping c!Dream in the targeted nuke zone.

Dream: Why can’t it just be simple again? Why can’t it just be like that forever? We can live forever, and we can- everyone can be… friends. And… I feel like it just- everything got- just so jumbled.

Tommy: Along the way... I’m with you, man. I’m with you.

Dream: Is it not too late? We can work together, and we can figure out-

Tommy: *hears sirens* Oh no. [43:25]

Unfortunately, the two have reached an understanding far too late. The nuke is about to hit, and c!Tommy apologizes. 

Tommy: I’m sorry.

Dream: You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for what, Tommy?! Punz, I think we need to get out of here.

Punz: Yeah, yeah. We- We gotta- We gotta fucking go. We have to fucking go.

Tommy: Guys. It’s too late. It’s the whole prison. I just- I didn’t-

Punz: You’re fucking lying.

Tommy: I didn’t know. [44:50]

c!Tommy is sorry because it’s too late for them to escape the nuke that he had c!Tubbo launch. He didn’t know there was another option, that he and c!Dream could actually come to an understanding. 

Not once does c!Tommy forgive c!Dream for what he has done. Understanding is not forgiveness. This wasn’t redemption either. What c!Tommy was offering c!Dream was an opportunity to make things right. But it was far too late.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!tommy #c!dream #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #dsmp finale #discduo #c!discduo #disc duo #my posts #analysis #this has been said multiple times before #but I wanted to break it down and share supporting quotes #and apparently dream himself has spoken #confirming it was only understanding #I wrote this all last night #so I'm posting it anyway

[w3ndytheraccoon]

C!Tommy is my favourite character, however, that doesn’t mean he gets a pass.

In simple word, C!Tommy is a narcissist, or atleast show alot of narcissistic traits. Self importance ? Check. Entitled to some degree ? Check. Arrogant ? Check. Jealous easily ? Check. Rarely believe something is his fault ? Check.

( Obviously, just because someone has some of these traits, that doesn’t mean that they’re a narcissist or a bad person, it depends on the context )

Now, I guess you can say that since Tommy is canonically 16, being a narcissist is expected, because most 16 years old is a self - centred asshole. But like I said many times, just because it’s justified, that doesn’t mean it’s okay.

Tommy has show signs of a narcissist ( Arrogant, entitled ) ever since he joined, and as the lore progresses, he starts to show more. It even gets worse when he got mad because he can’t fathom the fact Tubbo has a life out of him. He threatened to kill Michael for fuck’s sake ( I still love reading about them bonding tho ) !

And the whole “ Me and Tubbo vs Dream “ always gets on my nerves. Yes, Tommy has been hurt by Dream but he’s not the only one. What about Sapnap and Geogre who have to watch their close friend spiral ? What about Puffy who lost her fucking son and felt responsible for how he turn out ? What about Ranboo ? What about Niki and Jack and Fundy who lost their home when he blew up L’ manberg ? What about Vikkstar & Lazarbeam ? Dream has hurt almost everyone, not just Tommy, yet he believes he’s the only one.

Not to mentioned, he claims Tubbo is his bestfriend, yet hesitate when he’s asked to choose between him and the discs. Tommy has been an asshole to Tubbo and Tubbo has also been an asshole to Tommy times to times ( I will cover this more for when Tubbo’s post comes ). C!ClingyDuo is a shitshow (and when you include Ranboo and make it C!BenchTrio, it gets even worse ), they’re both bad for eachother. Sure, there are times where they act like actual, healthy friends, but half the times, their “ friendship “ is held together by shared trauma.

While Tubbo is treated like something comparable to the fucking discs, Ranboo is seen as an obstacle half the times. Yeah, Tommy covered for him when they burnt Geogre’s house, but that’s it. After that, whenever Tommy is with Ranboo, he’s just a tad bit more hostile and he always show jealousy when Ranboo and Tubbo are together. Like C!ClingyDuo, C!AlliumDuo is also toxic as hell and is barely being held together by the fact they have a mutual friend ( Tubbo ).

Don’t even get me start on Jack. I joined the fandom relatively late ( Post Prison Arc ), when the fandom’s opinions start shifting, and Tommy became a baby who can’t do anything wrong, so Jack’s death was pretty much brush over. It doesn’t help that I learn the lore solely through fan content, and as I said, opinions start shifting and Jack’s death got no acknowledgement. I didn’t even know why he was so mad at Tommy until a few weeks ago when I read a fanfic ( On Temporizing by LuckyMagicBelle ). No one in the fandom and the lore acknowledge it except Jack and maybe Niki, not even Tommy himself.

And that’s not even talking about all the casual crimes he commit, which I will not be getting into, because I’m pretty sure everyone have commit atleast 3 casually crimes at this point.

( Putting this just incase. Like in the one I made about Dream, just because Tommy is an asshole sometimes, that doesn’t mean the shit that happened to him is okay. And how he turns out is realistic imo, because I know that if I went through what he did, I’ll come out worse. But still, a flaw is flaw, and this is a call out post. He is child and someone should’ve show him how to be better, not let him continue to be like this )

Conclusion : C!Tommy is an actual war criminal that is in no way, shape or form innocent, yet most the fandom ignore that because they woobified him. He’s an asshole sometimes and it’s fine to be paranoid after the shit he went through but he needs to understand that Dream isn’t always out to get him. Also, C!BenchTrio needs to split up, have some therapy and spent some times for themselves before they’re ready to be friends again.

I still love him and will defend him with my dying breath though.

Edit : Y’all, I just saw a post that said C!tommy is a accurate portrayal of an abused victim, and now I can’t tell which of my points are actually him being an ass and which one is me being insensitive / overreacting and not realising that he’s intended to be written that way to be accurate. Please tell me because I do not want to offend anyone-

#dsmp tommy #dsmp #dream smp #tommyinnit #ctommy #c!tommy #C!tommy critical #c!tommy slander #he’s my little guy #but fucking hell #he’s an asshole #dsmp call-out with raccoon #call-out with Raccoon #All this being said #I will continue reading fanfic bout them being adorable and wholesome #Next is C!Wilbur

[flamedoesart]

a bit of a ramble about dsmp bc of twt stuff

couple ppl I'm seeing on twt who are either still in the fandom or have left it are once again stating "i pity the ppl who haven't jumped ship bc x y and z reasons and the ccs have proven time and time again they don't give a fuck about you or the story that they wrote."

the reason it pisses me off is bc it's not true. at all.

we can talk all day about the failures of the ccs to make-do with their promises, the amount of times we've heard "soon", all the bullshit that we've put up with regarding the dsmp and vol 2 being shoved back, and everything.

but here's the thing. a lot of the ccs do care.

your love for this story does mean something.

if none of it mattered, Quackity wouldn't have made his lore even Half as good as it is. Tommy wouldn't be fighting his ass off for all of us to make sure his little guy gets the ending he deserves. Wilbur (as many issues as I have with his character finale) at least left c!Wilbur alive and on the road towards healing.

that's not to mention Sam, Jack, Eret, Eryn, Aimsey, and plenty of other people on that server who are trying. they Want to give us interesting stories. they care about their characters and the world these characters are in.

a lot of the ccs who do care are slipping under Circumstance. that's how it was for Ranboo, that's how it is for Tommy, that's how it is for a lot of them. things happen, plans get altered, and oh yeah btw the One Person almost everyone needs to be one that server has been consistently ignoring Tommy's dms.

the lore jokes that have been made in the past hurt. they still do. but oftentimes the lore jokes are made by ppl who never really wanted the server to be this big, grand thing in the first place (stares at Sapnap). and other times lore jokes are made in genuine lightheartedness (stares at Eryn.)

and here's the thing ; of course the fans really made this series what it was. that's how it is for every rp that becomes popular ever. or even any story in general that isn't run by a major studio. it's how book fandoms stay alive, it's how fandoms of podcasts stay alive, it's how the creepypasta fandom stayed alive. this isn't new. people saw the dsmp, saw the themes and story beats and characters and dynamics and made some of the most wonderful, amazing content off of it.

the idea that none of the fans' dedication mattered bc the cc's don't care is insulting. it insults me personally as a person who still makes fanart for this series. all the loreheads who analyzed the actual Shit out of this series, who plucked it apart and found meaning in it, were never Ever wrong for doing so.

idk what more to add to this, but let me state it loud and clear:

your love for this story matters. you are not wrong or stupid for enjoying this series, regardless of how messy it is. what you contribute to this fandom counts. it is okay.

#long post #discourse #dsmp #dsmp lore #mcyt #critical #i am just so Tired man #this series has ingrained itself into my little heart and i can't quite let go yet

[period-dramallama]

Becoming Elizabeth: the autopsy

I just realised I never did a review of episode 8. Lol. Lmao even. This isn't an episode review but rather a discussion of the show upon rewatch.

Basically this is a show where the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts.

When I talk about the problems with the writing, I generally mean the narrative choices. The literal writing itself is good. Particularly for Tommy S, because those funny and witty/endearing lines explain his charm and why he is able to win over people and make them think he's a nice guy he's a funny guy he's a lovable rogue he's an adventurer. Tommy S does need to have some charm/charisma in order to be an effective villain. He can't go around being obviously evil.

There are still too many F words, but i was pleasantly surprised that there weren't as many as I remembered. And some F words I couldn't bear to part with: "The fuck is that?" And "what the fuck is wrong with you?!" In episode 5 for example.

I've seen some people say that the quality of the writing dropped in the episodes that aren't Anya Reiss but.... I think the quality of the writing was consistent. The iconic "I wish to take my c***ing bath" was not in an Anya episode, and neither was one of my favourite scenes in the whole show (yes it's the Dudley swordfighting training scene but it's an objectively good scene and not just because it's cute boys in fencing gear).

I initially thought episode 7 was my least favourite episode, but looking back there isn't really a good episode or a bad episode. Every episode has something I like and a bunch of stuff I'd change. If I had to pick 2 favourite episodes I'd pick 1 and 6. But because the problems are with narrative choices they're spread across the series. Even in episode 1, we have Elizabeth "I said at 9 i didn't want to marry so a lot would need to happen to change my mind" Tudor suddenly deciding she wants to marry a man she barely knows because hormones and they had a nice conversation one time. The rot set in quickly.

After the first four episodes I started skipping Mary and Tommy S scenes. I won't say any more on Katherine Parr because I've already said all I have to say on her characterisation. I did do some soul searching because I wondered if my dislike of her was subconscious internalised misogyny, given my affection for morally ambiguous male characters. But no, she really does lack both charm and depth.

So why is Becoming Elizabeth so narratively unsatisfying? Aside from Elizabeth being OOC, I think it's that the story feels like it's going around in circles.

Jane and Elizabeth clash. They make up. Then in episode 7 they fall out again. Mary and Edward fight, make up, fight, make up, fight again. Elizabeth realises Tommy S is dangerous, then she forgets, then she realises again. Mary scolds this character and they don't listen and then this character and they don't listen.

Yes character development isn't linear but it isn't circular either. It GOES somewhere. Setup and payoff are mutually reinforcing. It's fun to watch the setup because you know what's coming as a result of it. Payoff is fun because you saw how we got here. But it isn't satisfying to watch something that you know won't result in anything permanent. I don't feel anything watching Jane be tactless to Elizabeth in episode 1 because I know she'll be even MORE tactless in episode 7. And I don't feel anything seeing Elizabeth reach out the hand of friendship to Jane after the recital fiasco because I know in episode 7 they'll just fall out again. Whereas with Mary and Elizabeth they at least end the series with their relationship in a different place (hell).

And I have every sympathy with the writers because I'm up to my eyeballs at editing and I know what it's like to take historical events and try and make a plot and character arcs out of them. But the letter subplot and the Danish marriage subplot were largely fictional anyway. And they kinda went nowhere.

I understand that the showrunners wanted a complex villain in Tommy S. I get it. My favourite characters in this show are people capable of great love and also great harm. But to humanise him you only really needed that conversation with Elizabeth in episode 1 establishing his uncertainty and confusion, and the excellent "goshawk hatching out of a goose egg" scene with Jane. That establishes that he has the ability to be good he just chooses to be awful. So yes, the show really did give him too much screen time. He's not the main character, Elizabeth is! He should not have screen time comparable with her and her siblings! This wasn't supposed to be the Tommy S show! Nobody asked for that!

Gardiner is another problem IMHO. Setting aside the fact he's way too young to be the real Gardiner. He really shouldn't be here. He spent Edward's reign in the Tower. I know he shows up as a result of the fictional plots... so why write those fictional plots to the point you have to bring him in?? Cranmer IS important. You could have had Cranmer pushing Edward to be radical, Ed pushing him to be more lenient, and Daddy Dudley balancing the two. Voila, a dynamic!

And I get that Elizabeth wasn't doing much politically 1550-3 but you could still show her reacting and learning from events around her rather than warping Edward's reign completely out of shape AND making her a side character in her own story.

#becoming elizabeth #ok ive said my bit now so i can shut up

[bluerasbunny]

you know what. fuck it im getting autistic on main

C!DREAM AS JH/ARIAH SONGS. (read under the cut!!)

starting with THE MOST fitting one!!

who's eye is it anyway is so him it is insane. it's so post-vault dream in the imprisoned sam era. 'an eye for an eye'. literally. like literally an eye for an eye i need everyone to hear how much this fits c!dream.

i'd have to paste all the lyrics in i'm not doing that. all of them fit. listen to it you'll see what i mean

THSI ONE. FITS SO WELL.

Is it really a complex or just lacking context? Why would someone go so far to be a walking lie? Yeah, that don't sound like me I don't think I'm that guy (enter beginner's guide)

c!dream being severely misunderstood, lacking in context, a walking lie that he went as far as he possibly could for. you see it right

That I would lose (needed a change of pace) Oh, I would lose Between my left and right, one day I'd have to choose (gone without a chance) He found the man before him had died

first of all these are lyrics from BAD LUCK!! which is the most discduo song ever. second only to want you gone from portal 2.

second of all 'gone without a chance' 'he found the man before him had died' do i even.

the abandonment of himself in the haste of his mission.

Slow down Those words mean nothing My brain just revs up faster Pressure bomb in a goddamn knife fight Ecstatic pathways runaway flood my mind Overstimulation makes me feel like I'm alive

Static that's keeping me up It drives me forward every moment Makes sure I don't stop too long to Smell the flowers I been here too long I might Burn up and explode

I get in the way of myself And it hurts to admit That sometimes I'm unequipped To handle It all on my own But why do it alone It's cause I know I'll never slow down

I'm at the end of my means From idolizing a made-up man Who one day could be me But does version sleep at night Or ever take a minute to just breathe Or Just to be

honestly i can't even. explain this one properly?? like with any evidence for it?? i just think it resembles his psyche and 'guy that is always running around doing SOMETHING' thing

this one is SO discduo. holy shit it is so fucking discduo it is insane how discduo this is.

"You're not like me, I'm not like you I'm not who these things happen to" And that's exactly what you say before they do

tommy. tommy with the 'You're not like me, i'm not like you, i'm not who these things happen to' and the responding line. its so them it is so them OGH

Hand in hand come human error and plain bad luck It seems the timing's always wrong For the ones who wait too long You'll never catch a break you'll have to make your own

'Hand in hand come human error and plain bad luck.' i am. INSANE about corellating this to discduo. tommy is human error dream is plain bad luck. by the way. or it could be the other way around it works either way

That I would lose Oh I would lose Between my left and right, I'd one day have to choose You're not like me, I'm not like you. I'm not who these things happen to And that's exactly what you say before it catches up to you Before you play with knives and find yourself in two You, you, you, you

first point except with the new lines fitting discduo even more. like

I finally climbed to heights I No matter how I try Can't descend Still, somehow they're looking down on me Laughing cause I got what I deserved (You got what you deserved)

And I would do it again I'm not sorry but thank you For enduring me As long as you did That's more than I'd ever ask of you

LIKE. DO I EVEN. HELLO? HELLO. HELLO??? YOU SEE THIS RIGHT.

that final part is LITERALYL the discduo finale like. it is insane. it is insane

okay. hear me out. manhunt energy, yes, but ALSO.

Before I knew I'd live to Savor this day I'm taking off To my own grave I'm running away

So watch me disappear before your eyes And catch me if you can

Catch me, catch me, misplace and mismatch me Tie your shoes in knots but you’ll never harass me Find me, find me, I dare you to try I’ll bet on my survival But now you’re gonna die out there

Where could I be? Walking among you or inside your own homes? Or perhaps there's a part of me in all of you. (Hahaha!)

i cant even explain my thought process with this one i just need you guys to match my brainwaves honestly. like you get me (probably)

So catch me if you can Catch me if you dare Venture through the foul and you'll see what's fair Catch me if you can Catch me if you dare You'll find me through the fog and the filthy air

'Venture through the foul and you'll see what's fair' SNAKES DON'T JUST BITE.

Another grave for the digger with the crimson blade I ain't a saint or a sinner I'm the ghost you made

I fucking dare you, You wouldn't know a good hook if it impaled you That chorus isn't yours, eighty-five is for the label So are you able to take the blame, As a pawn to the winner of a losing game?

FUCKING. DISC DUO. IT'S DISC DUO MAN. I MEAN COME ON THAT LAST LYRIC. I AM DERANGED

im going to gain a reputation as the guy that tags c!dream to songs and then does the worlds worst attempts at analysis posts on them and well maybe im okay with that

#grayy rambles #dreblr #c!dream #long post #i am so sorry for my constant rambles on msuic i will. put art out eventually #i just need to get the insanity about c!dream and music out like i need someone to hear my insanity and level with it #surely someone sees my vision. surely #(cut up the jh/ariah in the post because i dont.. want people that arent c!dream enjoyers to find this i fear i will get mauled) #Spotify

[mellorphic]

In Defence of c!Niki - a Four Part Analysis of Every Arc

People who didn’t watch C!Niki see, in the fandom, a big sister type character with girlboss energy who wants to kill a child. Niki isn’t that. She has a well-written narrative which focusses a lot on her relationships with others. Here is me breaking it down!

PART ONE: c!Niki’s Early Days

PART TWO: c!Niki’s Rebellion

PART THREE: c!Niki’s Disillusionment (you are here)

PART FOUR: c!Niki’s Healing

TW FOR THIS SECTION: brief mention of sh, derealisation, a lot of discussion on grief and death. Let me know if I should add more tws

I don’t think c!Niki’s disillusionment arc started on Doomsday, randomly. I think it started on the day of the festival, when Niki watched her friend die, was chased out of her home, and saw how much her best friend had changed.

Despite her anger at Tubbo for his speech (which sounded very pro-Schlatt) she still told Schlatt to let him out once Schlatt and Quackity started to box him in. It still had not been revealed quite yet that Tubbo was a spy, yet Niki still stood up for Tubbo regardless of how she felt about him. That’s the thing about Niki. She is a good person with sound morals who will support people even if their views don’t align with hers, because she knows what’s right and what’s wrong and she won’t let ‘wrong’ happen to anyone.

Once Techno killed him, Schlatt literally fucking exiled her.

N: You killed him!

S: yeah, I did. I did fucking kill him, Niki.

N: you are so cruel- how could you do that? After everything he has done for you?!

S: he’s been a thorn in my side since-

N: I DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE.

S: he-

N: I DON’T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE!

S: […] you can leave if you want

N: ….Where am I supposed to go?

Manberg may not be Niki’s home but L’Manberg is and it always will be. That’s why the thought of leaving for good hurt her so much. Wilbur comes out into the open after she says this, and he defends her.

S: you really crawled up here on the day of my festival, celebrating my country. That you are not a part of. And you started- you started crying.

W: You sounded like you were gonna murder another person.

S: no, I was only gonna murder Tubbo.

W: you sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.

S: he’s the only person- well I mean, Niki..

N: what?

S: I might murder Niki, actually. I might murder her.

Wilbur tells her to run. Fundy gives Schlatt arrows but he and Quackity tell Schlatt not to do it, all the while Niki’s getting chased out of the country she used to love. This solidifies for her the fact that she truly has lost everything. Ponk chased her down and he killed her - Ponk, who a few streams before, Niki had called a friend. Earlier Techno had also killed her, when he shot at the audience after killing Tubbo. According to the wiki neither of those are canon deaths but I think they should be. At the very least, being killed by Ponk should be.

She joined Pogtopia that day, and Niki already had heard about Wilbur’s plans from Tommy. He, her and Tubbo had all vowed to get L’Manberg back and at this point in time, Tommy was the person she trusted the most. Her relationship with Tubbo had been ruined because of her thinking she was on Schlatt’s side - and even now that she knew he hadn’t been, it didn’t change the fact that he did not stick up for her while she was there. Her relationship with Wilbur was still a close one but she was scared for him and worried for L’Manberg’s future. But Tommy hadn’t wronged her, and she knew she could trust him to help with Wilbur.

Her birthday party was where she really saw the extent of Wilbur’s mental decline first hand and was completely powerless in stopping it. The day had been going so well, and she’d been having fun, until Wilbur went to blow up Manberg. Niki had to beg him to stop playing the anthem and Quackity talked him down from blowing it up, but Niki was terrified.

This is when Niki began working on her Secret City - intended to be a safe space away from the conflict, or a last resort for refugees if the war went badly.

On November 16th, Niki was hopeful, especially after Techno revealed his armoury. That day, Niki also defended Eret when they were accused of being the traitor, saying she trusted them and that they helped her. Once again, proving her loyalty and the fact she was grateful for people who stuck by her side.

We all know what happened later. After they got L’Manberg back, and were cleaning up, Niki found the TNT Wilbur had placed under the podium. She made sure nobody else saw it and she hid it again. Because after everything, Niki still believed in Wilbur. She was still loyal to him. She still saw the good in him and trusted that he wouldn’t. But he did.

She’d kept her promise, she’d been loyal to him and L’Manberg, and it didn’t change anything. She didn’t manage to help anything. And Wilbur, the one person Niki believed would always be there for her, no matter what, betrayed her. And she couldn’t even ask him why. So after that she was left hopeless and never wanted to let anyone in again. But as much as Niki didn’t want to, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Tommy reminded the L’Manbergians that the L’Mantree was still there. And I think Niki found that comforting, at the very least. She asked Tubbo what they were going to do with Wilbur’s body and his only response was “let him rot”. She and Tommy were the only ones who didn’t laugh.

At this point Tommy became a constant, for Niki. He’d been there since she joined, he was the only one who understood that she still wanted Wilbur back, and in her eyes he was able to take on his role in the sense of inspiring them all.

So, of course it hit her hard when he tried to blame her for burning down George’s house. Then, he’s exiled and the next time she heads from him it’s because he blew up the community house - we know he didn’t, but Niki didn’t. She begins to see Tommy as someone who just causes problems on the SMP, nothing more. She thinks he’s arrogant and a nuisance and that he doesn’t care for anyone.

When it comes to Niki’s character it’s vital that we understand - she has been through so much pain that got overlooked by everyone around her. At this point, she was poor, grieving, and felt as if nobody in New L’Manberg listened to her. She was going through the lowest point in her life and nobody in that nation seemed to care.

And she couldn’t hate everyone for it so she needed someone to blame and that happened to be Tommy. He didn’t deserve it but he was an easy target. And it’s true that he wasn’t kind to her, but he wasn’t the only one, and he was obviously going through his own things. But Niki was angry and she needed somewhere to put her anger. Is that fair? Not at all. But it’s what happened.

N: L’Manberg has not been L’Manberg. For many weeks. Maybe even months, maybe even.. maybe even, I don’t know.. since the start? […] I want the people to realise L’Manberg is not what they think it is. I want them to open their eyes and stop being in this circle.. in this circle of fighting for it. Because that will not bring us anywhere.

Do I even need to say anything? She fought for it for so long, on her own, and lost everything and everyone anyway.

On Doomsday, she spoke to Ranboo.

N: Do you.. do you really think L’Manberg should be safe today? …Ranboo, I will- If you think that we should fight for L’Manberg today, I will fight with you. Because I believe in you. And I always believed in you.

R: I think we should. […] the thing is, if we don’t fight with them, then what are we showing them? We’re showing them that we never cared about them.

N: .. i care about them, I really do. But I got.. hurt by them… They always talk over me, Ranboo. You know how that feels.

R: yeah. But like you remember yesterday, sometimes you just have to get louder.

N: You’re right..

R: sometimes you just have to get louder until they have no choice but to hear you.

And good god, isn’t that exactly what she did? Something something, peaceful protest is ignored (striking at her bakery, not paying her taxes, verbally standing up to Schlatt). OSomething something, she got louder. (Burning down the L’Mantree, blowing up her bakery)

An underrated line from Doomsday though? Niki telling her chat that she needed to save Puffy. I think she was muted so you’d only hear the line if you were on her stream, but she tried to help Puffy after and seemed distressed that she couldn’t get to her. Puffychu crumbs.

She held it together until she saw Ghostbur, believing she was hallucinating and repeating to herself that Wilbur was gone and that he betrayed her. She doesn’t want to care, but she does. And the idea of Wilbur still existing terrifies her, because what does that say about her grief? And if her grief isn’t justified, then the things she’s done definitely aren’t. As long as Wilbur is dead, Niki feels like she has a reason for her anger.

During her meltdown Niki is rambling. ‘Wilbur is dead’ becomes ‘L’Manberg is dead’ which becomes ‘L’Manberg is gone’ which becomes ‘I am gone’ and ‘I am L’Manberg’. This reveals a lot about Niki, even if it may seem nonsensical at first glance.

I’ve made a post before about how for crime boys, L’Manberg is interchangeable with the other person (For Tommy, it’s Wilbur. For Wilbur, it’s Tommy.) And I think that this is the same thing for Niki. L’Manberg is Wilbur. Wilbur couldn’t live without L’Manberg, and L’Manberg isn’t the same without Wilbur.

Then, she is gone and she is L’Manberg. Niki isn’t the same person she used to be and she’s starting to think that she can’t live without L’Manberg either, not happily, anyway. But at the same time, she helps to destroy it because the memories are too much to bare, and all it does is remind her of all the times she’s been hurt there. She can’t see the good in it anymore.

Destroying her own bakery was somewhere between emotional self-harm and trying to separate herself from L’Manberg as much as possible. There could’ve also been a sense of survivors guilt? Everyone else’s homes and things were destroyed but Niki’s bakery was untouched, and she found that really unsettling.

She talks to Jack about why she burnt down the tree, saying it was because she’s lost everyone.

J: that’s not a very good way of going ‘hey, I wanna be friends again’, burning down their sacred tree.

N: i don’t want to be friends with any of them again! Have you seen them?

J: then why do you care?!

N: because it hurt me! […] we both have been ignored by all of them all the time. We walk behind them slowly and-and carefully because they will ignore us all the time but we wanna be part! We wanna be part- we’re like little puppies, aren’t we?! Like little puppies, just walking and walking. But they’re never going to see us. All we are for them is something to take something from. […] whats the difference between these people and us? When we lose something, we lost it. And we grieve it. And it will be a part of us. When they lose something? They move on and they find something new.

I feel like people who think c!Niki is badly written or don’t like her just watch this stream and think she is overreacting because they don’t know her lore. But none of this came out of nowhere.

The thing is, Niki was ignored throughout Manberg and New L’Manberg by Tubbo and Fundy and sometimes even Eret. Niki has had things taken from her by Schlatt and Tommy. She has seen everyone move on from Wilbur when she couldn’t.

I think the other characters did care about her - Wilbur definitely did and Tommy did too. Karl did, Eret did, Puffy did. But it’s so difficult for her to see that because the love is so quiet in comparison to everything else. She’s no longer an idealist, she can’t see it when it isn’t right in front of her. And that doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She’s not completely right, but she’s not wrong about being used and feeling unwanted. That did happen.

So why does this turn into hatred at Tommy? Like I said earlier - he was a constant. The only one she still had after Wilbur, but he didn’t seem like he cared about her. In Niki’s eyes he became just like the rest of them - he used her left, and then when he came back she thought he’d replaced Wilbur with Techno and was now replacing him with Tubbo.

(I’m not saying I think that’s what happened but it’s what Niki saw. This part of my analysis is also partly speculation and partly based on things Niki said after the fact, because I can’t find the vod where she and Jack decided to target Tommy specifically, I think there’s a missing one between Niki’s Doomsday vod and the one where Jack tells her about the nukes.)

She directs her anger at him also because it gives her an ally. Jack blames Tommy for most of what’s happened to him, because Tommy resulted in him losing his second life; if Niki agrees that it’s his fault then she has Jack. So unconsciously she starts directing her anger more towards him.

The thing about Tommy is that he’s loud. He’s annoying. He can be rude. He doesn’t take things seriously, especially when he’s being painted in the wrong, because he doesn’t know how to handle it so he just deflects.

That makes him a really easy target for anger. But the vast majority of what happened to Niki was never Tommy’s fault. She blames him for Doomsday, she’s angry that he used her, and she’s processing her grief of Wilbur through hating Tommy. That’s why she does what she does.

#dream smp #niki nihachu #c!niki #c!niki analysis #dsmp #nihachu analysis #the syndicate #dsmp season 4 #dsmp season 3 #healing arc #wilbur revival #Niki’s secret city #orphic talks #in defence of c!niki

[strangleetomz]

If you're still doing fics for the prompt list you posted, could you do 3 with lee!wilbur ler!niki? Either C or CC works :) /nf

it was discussed through dms that another ler was chosen because i dont write for niki

prompt list:

3. “Make me~”

lee!wilbur (revivedbur) (he/they) ler!tommy (he/xey/they)

i wanted to do

c!crimeboys

because

them /pos

i went overboard oops dont care

They didn’t even know what they were arguing about. All they knew at this point, was that they wanted to be the one in the right.

This was a common occurrence with Revivedbur and Tommy— they’re brothers. It’s bound to be normal.

“Just admit that you’re wrong!” Wilbur exclaimed, bringing up a hand to push his white streak of hair our of his face.

“I’m not wrong! I’m always in the right, so you’re wrong!” Tommy shouted back, doing the exact same motion Wilbur had done to xeir own white streak.

“You are such a child,” Wilbur shook his head with a small smirk beginning to form on their face. “A little, immature child.” Tommy’s mouth was wide open, as if in disbelief at the comment.

“I am not! You take that back!” Tommy crossed their arms over his chest, fake pouting.

Wilbur’s smirk became more evident. “Make me~”

Tommy paused.

Oh, so this is how he wanted to play? Well then..

“Gladly.” Tommy spoke before pouncing on Wilbur, quickly and easily pinning the brunette down with the advantage of having caught them off guard. Xey quickly grabbed both of Wilbur’s wrists with one hand, holding them out of the way as he used his free hand to claw and vibrate xeir fingers into the older’s ribs. The reaction was immediate.

“TohoHOHOMMY! NOHOT THIHIHIS! FUHUCK!” Wilbur shrieked, pulling for his arms to be free and fight back. Inevitably, he failed as they were already weak from one of their worst spots being targeted immediately.

“Take it back, Wil!” Tommy shouted over Wilbur’s loud laughter, bringing xeir hand down to pinch and drill into his hips.

“NOHOHO!” The sensations were maddening, Wilbur thought he might die right there. How the fuck had they managed to let their little brother take him down so easily?

“No? Okay then..” Tommy said, waiting a couple seconds to pull Wilbur’s shirt up to his lower ribs. Xey looked at the brunette’s scar for a moment.

“Tohommy? What the hehell are you dohoing?” Wilbur’s confusion changed to panic when Tommy lowered his head. “Wahait- Wahahait Tohohommy no- Tohohohommy nohOHOHOHO! FUHUHUCK!”

Wilbur threw his head back in loud, happy cackles as Tommy blew a large raspberry right on his scar on his stomach. Tommy let go of Wilbur’s wrists, using one hand to hold xemself up and the other to switch between targetting the brunette’s ribs and hips. They laughed alongside his brother, he had always found their laughter to be contagious.

“OKAHAY! I’M SOHOHORRY! PLEHEHEHEASE!” At the plea, Tommy immediately stopped and got off of Wilbur soon after. The brunette moved to lay more in Tommy’s lap and then curled into a ball.

“You alright, Wil?” Tommy asked, running a hand through Wilbur’s hair. The brunette nodded, turning to lay on his back and look up at Tommy.

It took everything in Tommy’s power to not coo aloud at Wilbur.

The man was laying there with the widest smile and a bright red face, he had tears at the corner of his squinted eyes, he still had one arm wrapped around his torso, which Tommy assumed was because they were scared that xey would tickle him again. Wilbur’s hair was a mess, the fluffy brown curls were just all over the place yet somehow the man still looked cute.

“You are absolutely adorable- Holy fucking shit. Why don’t I ever get to see you like this? I need to tickle you more often if it means I get to see this, man!” Tomny rambled, giving Wilbur a few pokes to his stomach which earned high pitched giggles and a muffled “nohoho!” as they covered their mouth with their hand.

Despite his protests Wilbur couldn’t say he hated this. Infact, he loved it. He’d never say that outloud, though. He has a reputation to hold!

“TohOHOHOMMY! NOHOHOT THIHIHIS! FUHUCK!” Wilbur shrieked, squirming and kicking and shaking his head wildly as if trying to distract themself of the sensations. His glasses fell off his face, and Tommy stopped for a second to move them to the side so that they wouldn’t break.

#strangleetomz #strangleetomz ficlets #lee!wilbur #ler!tommy #lee!revivedbur #dsmp tickle