w3ndytheraccoon

[w3ndytheraccoon]

eagle: so what do you think about stigmata

prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.

eagle: stigma talons in your flesh

[w3ndytheraccoon]

I wanted to make a backstory for the time I found this in pokemon Violet XD

[w3ndytheraccoon]

eagle: so what do you think about stigmata

prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.

eagle: stigma talons in your flesh

[w3ndytheraccoon]

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

[w3ndytheraccoon]

me when i get tagged by mutuals: oh my GOD my friend noticed me,, omg my bestie in the world wide web, my beautiful wonderful amazing fren whom i cherish dearly, JUST NOTICED ME,, I AM ABOUT TO C O M B U S T

me when tagging mutuals: oh no... i hope im not annoying you.. or anything.. if you want I'll never tag you again.. only if you want tho.. if you don't want to be tagged then that's okay.. i love you.. pls don't hate me,,,

[w3ndytheraccoon]

jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes

[w3ndytheraccoon]

Okay so like

If Hugo and Varian got married do you think they’d have kids?

Definitely not

their both scared to shit about and they are both extremely mentally ill

[w3ndytheraccoon]

@mothmanavenue you ate this one little thing

[w3ndytheraccoon]

I like how unhinged this fandom is, because this is the only fandom that will headcanon Jesus fucking Christ as a son of Dionysus.

[w3ndytheraccoon]

on the one hand, extremely funny to get told “get help” by a fortune cookie, on the other, i can’t believe betterhelp has breached influencers and podcasters and started getting fortune cookies to shill for them

[w3ndytheraccoon]

STOP. moment of gratitude for those precious times of breathing from your nostrils when you don't have a stuffy nose

[w3ndytheraccoon]

[w3ndytheraccoon]

in a kinder world i live in an i spy page

[w3ndytheraccoon]

percy is the type of boyfriend who casually puts his hand over the table corner when annabeth bends down from her chair to pick something up, because he doesn’t want her to hit her back on the corner when she comes back up

he’s also the type of boyfriend who puts his hand on her back and steers her if she’s distractedly looking down at something while they’re walking, because he doesn’t want her to walk into something or someone

and he does these things without even thinking

[w3ndytheraccoon]

[w3ndytheraccoon]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[w3ndytheraccoon]

TOA APOLLO SCULPTING KAYLA AS A BABY… he accidentally dug his fingers in a little too hard when sculpting her face and now she’s got dimples!! he spent AGES trying to get the polish of her skin to reflect right. he flicked glowing drops of sun onto her skin to give her freckles!!!! he is a bit clumsy and left god fingerprints on her back and forgot to smooth them over!! (“SO THAT’S WHAT THE GIGANTIC WEIRD MARKS ON MY BACK ARE???” “KAYLA MY DARLING CHILD I’M SO SORRY” “NO THAT’S SO COOL?? ALSO OH MY GOD THIS REALLY PUTS IN PERSPECTIVE FOR ME HOW BIG GODS USUALLY ARE. WOAH. THAT’S CRAZY.”) MAYBE SHE’S GOT A BIT OF DISCOLOURING / ODDLY TEXTURED AREA WHERE APOLLO’S TEARS FELL ON HER AND MIXED WHEN HE HAD TO GIVE HER AWAY.

#was this an excuse to show you all that Ancient Greek sculptures of hedgehogs exist? maybe #also they did believe hedgehogs predicted the weather at the time. They were the ancient groundhog. #I love this idea so much it’s so good #hogoflight best blog? more likely than you think. #<- You are so right #Hogoflight is genuinely my favourite blog for headcanon