#UGH IM UNWELL…

[decafdoodlez]

Thinking of Ren calling Rina “baby” or “babydoll.”

…I think I’m gonna pass out…🥰😩😭

#like ugh he would just purr those words out too…. #that’s HIS baby #his little doll… #UGH IM UNWELL… #he's just a possessive dirty old man #decaf rambles #decaf txt #ren hana #tpof fox #tpof oc #renrina

[starch1ldz]

Spencer Reid would use "girl math" when building things. This bookshelf calls for 72 inches of space and I'm 6'2? Perfect. Oh I don't have a hammer to put this shelf up? I'll just use some miscellaneous hard thing I find in my apartment to put it up. I don't have tacks to put up this poster? Tape it is I guess. Like he's SO SO SO SO smart but I do not think he owns a single tool, including a measuring tape.

#star child speaks #starchildz imagines #i would build him things #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #im mentally unwell #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x you #i love him #hes such a cutie #UGH

[enden-k]

and im crying

#hsr 2.2 spoilers #entire penacony storyline was the best hsr experience ever im #SPEECHLESS #dont mistake this as me bringing down gnshn by praising and comparing hsr but with the constant Ws in hsr i fear that #im permanently ruined for gnshn #its two different things ofc but damn this was absolute peak #(last time i felt this was with sumeru chap HAHA) #THIS WAS SO GOOD UGH im unwell #own #tbd

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post #nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg #that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face #<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH #anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project #and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore #i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects #<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about.... #idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ #theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create. #haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think: #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1

[neilphen]

THE BEATLES ON HATE/LOVE

1.Tennessee Williams Cat on a Hot Tin Roof / 2. George Harrison Get Back dir. Peter Jackson / 3. Succession s4e10 dir. Mark Mylod / 4. Isn't It a Pity by George Harrison / 5. Paul McCartney Get Back e2 / 6. The Bear s2e10 / 7. Why - Fleetwood Mac / 8. Ethan Russell / 9. Getty Images / 10. quotes from I.B. Vyache / 11. unknown / 12. Ethan Russell / 13. Peter Kaye / 14. post from @/adampvrrish

#yeah im ill #yeah im unwell #web weaving #on hate #on love #the beatles #ugh ugh ugh ugh im sick #ugh uguh UGH the intricacies of it all. ugh #this was very fast and sooo sloppy but idc idc idc i needed to put it out there fast #loss and grief and love and hate and light and death and belonging #mine

[justknoxville]

That’s bbg right there

#johnny knoxville #mtv jackass #bam margera #steve o #ahhhhhhh #we love this #he’s literally a psycho why would he do that to himself #ugh he is so hot i cant even #im unwell #jackass tumblr is so dead rn so i’m doing my part #jackass 3.5 #jackass forever #jackass the movie #jackass fic

[firelise]

Only Friends (2023) 🍪 a.k.a gave me cookie got you cookie

#only friends the series #only friends #ofts #this has probably been done but i cant find it and i want it for ME #so here #sandray #topmew #I think a lot about how this small gesture sums up both their relationships #mew wants to be chased and in control and sand IMMEDIATELY and enthusiastically surrenders himself #add to this the donut scene ??? !!! he KNOWS ray will take it away and he trusts him anyways??? im unwell #ugh #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #book kasidet #force jiratchapong #cgedits #mygifs

[melon-official]

She wails as though a part of her has died.

oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days

there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy

#theres already PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs in my partners dms over this freaking thing but like listen to me (jingle jingle) PAY ATTENTION #i feel like i have to add that visual novels arent really something i take interest in at all this one jus JUMPED me #i actually played the side piece (our cinderella) first + was so in love with the writing i went to check out the main story. worth it #and i DEFINITELY won't be able to fit everything i want to say in the tags but its so refreshing to read/play thru a novel where the protag #are regular ass adults. like middle class thirty year olds barely breaking even. and that still get sappy unapologetically. #need more stories like this fr #that aside it's been fucking crazy to look at iggy's character arc through his eyes considering yk.. everything. #theres no universal asexual experience or anything but sometimes there'd be a line in there that made me like. sit up and go damn what the #i did that. i do that. #it's. i cant explain it in depth in the tags its about the way topics are skirted around and the realization that something is #uncomfortable in a way you werent expecting it to be. or even on your radar. theres so much #ugh. im unwell. anyways. #dewdles #our wonderland #gidget bordelle #iggy maxwell #genzou #genzou ichihara #cecil- does cecil have a last name??? cecil. #blood #injury #ask to tag

[symeona]

Me lying to myself: I'll only watch one episode of this, just to see why everyone likes it so much

#this is about fucking trigun pls dont talk to me im unwell #i finished both the old and the new show in one week..................... #ugh #rambling

[angelpuns]

Stop getting sad stop getting sad stop getting sad it literally is nothing and doesn't even have anything to do with you why are you getting sad

#at myself #urvrhhhthr #urvgh #ugh #vent #i guess #dont respond 2 this im just unwell #over nothing #aghsusgh #maybe typing out ' dont get sad ' will fix me #( it will not )

[starch1ldz]

Spencer Reid let's you draw on his hands, he goes to work with stars and hearts drawn all over them, by the end of the day they're faded but not completely gone and they're replaced by brand new doodles by the next morning. Sometimes Spencer let's you draw on his arms, he obviously doesn't wear short sleeves but before he leaves for a case he'll let you draw on his arms since he's so meticulous about germs and the drawings on his hands will be gone within a day. He likes having them there and being able to see your love for him :(. I feel like he'd eventually end up getting a tattoo of something you draw him(a few years down the line probably). He doesn't like needles for obvious reasons but eventually he's had enough of your art fading off of his skin, and you go through pens like crazy which doesn't help. He just loves you so much he let's you do whatever you want to him 🫠

#star child speaks #star child is very gay #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #im mentally unwell #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #i love him #WJSIEIEI #hes so fine #i wanna draw all over him #UGH #x reader #x artist!reader

[theriverbeyond]

so i was thinking about how John is not a merciful god, and he hates Blood Of Eden because they left his Eden to die. so, why not kill them? it's what he originally wanted to do, and with his lyctors he certainly has the ability. so why use the cohort and all the messiness that guns and swords and millions of soldiers entail when just one of your fists and gestures can kill an entire planet cleanly in less than 15 minutes? why keep a thorn in your side by choice when you have more than the ability to just.... get rid of it? 

and i think, after reading NtN, i think that maybe John just decided that death is not enough. this is his punishment: the unending resettlements. the systemic destruction of any foothold or stability. the zookeepers on Lemuria who tried to save their animals but couldn't, had to kill them all before the planet turned. Beautiful Ruby, who’s family used to live in a house but doesn’t anymore. Hot Sauce, with no one left at home. the burn cages in the park, whose only real victims are drug addicts and weirdos and people who said the wrong thing at the wrong time. the woman at the broadcast with the baby who said she didn't care about safety anymore.

"our children stateless, our grandchildren perpetual nomads". maybe John’s invasion force doesn't make sense because it isnt an invasion force at all. it's just endless retribution for crimes that have been already been punished ten thousand times over.

#john gaius #nona the ninth #ntn spoilers #tlt thoughts #trb.txt #im thinking abt those posts talking abt how #nona made us remember the small things #the humanity. #BOE is just one political entity amongst many outside the nine houses #john doesnt haye blood of eden #BOE arent the only descendents of the trillionares who only saved themselves #he hates and wants to punish EVERYONE descended from the trillionares #and no one but him even remembers it #ugh im unwell #boe

[scalpelsister]

Wolfheart

#not over that being what the SUBCLASS is called when im a shadowheart kisser...... ugh larian ur mind #her yellow eyes.... her fucking shoulder muscles dude..... women.... #to quothe wolf alice. ur broad shoulders my wet tears #i am so unwell hahahahaha #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #feilan #my post

[lwprodz24]

#legacies #landon kirby #landonkirbyedit #has this been done before? #ugh this hurt to make #im unwell #he just deserved so much better #my gifs #my edit #this honestly hurts so much #anti legacies #anti legacies writers #ugh i miss him #i can't believe the writers did this to him #landon kirby didn't deserve this #i shouldn't have been able to make this edit #but whatever this needs to be pointed out #how can anyone treat a character like this? #this is so sick #they really did this #no one deserves landon kirby #except rafael and maybe hope

[skitskatdacat63]

I'm reading more about matador costumes for research, and like, ethically and emotionally, I think bullfighting is pretty fucked, but god...everything about the aesthetic of it is unfortunately really sick

Also losing my mind about this:

Anyways, very obsessed w the level of detail and significance every part of costume has

#i love how that quote tho says 'citation needed' #who is in the bullfighter costume wiki page writing gay fanfic #i saw pics of it tho for like photoshoots and im unwell abt it #you know what im thinking 🤭 #also unfortunately i think the pics where their costumes are soaked in blood and kinda ripped are ...hot 🫠 #i like that they wear bright pink socks 🥰 #ugh god tho this is like researching 18th century clothing and napoleonic uniforms again #i download a bunch of ref pics and get obsessed w the idea of it #and them realize how complicated it is to draw #also gotta say. #part of the reason i wanna draw this is bcs in the leyendecker book i have + #there's this one little section of his sketches for an ad with a bullfighter #and i just rly enamored with it so! yeah :) #catie.rambling.txt

[cryingabtab]

🎶do you see what i seeeeeee🎶

#austin butler #austin butler can punch me in the face #austin butler be my baby daddy #i want him to step on me #I AM UNWELL #IM GOMNA CLIMB HIM LIKE A TREE #FUCK ME TO SLEEP BABY DADDY UGH