#Thunderclash sobbing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zephyrrhiesfyrian · 11 months

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Quotes I have collected from MTMTE that I enjoy: part something lmao

[- Thunderclash] please i am sobbing i love this man so much ;-; This line reminds me of a quote from I believe The Hobbit: Battle of The Five Armies, where Bilbo says, referring to the tree he plans to grow from Beorn's acorn, "[and] when I look at it, I'll remember; I'll remember the good, the bad -and how lucky I am that I made it home." I feel like Thunderclash would appreciate that quote :3

[- Nightbeat, to Getaway] I love how utterly unfazed by death Nightbeat is. No room for sympathy, head too full of conspiracies.

[- Nightbeat and Nautica] More of Nightbeat, because he is our autistic king.

[- Skids] Rodimus needs those highlighter pens, Skids. He's already used up all the room on his desk for carving, now he's gotta start making his doodles pop!

[- Getaway, to Skids] It truly pains me whenever I have to admit that Getaway has a point. Which is, regrettably, actually quite often. The man is pretty smart.

Here in particular though, he makes a really fascinating observation when talking to Skids about how they're both worried they'll stop hating Megatron; Megatron's done so many horrible things, it's almost impossible to actually pin them to him once you actually meet him. Until you have to interact with him civilly, he's just an idea, not a person. It's when you have to reconcile all the atrocities with the man that it gets complicated.

Anyway, thanks for coming to me TED talk, I like rambling about things I don't have the authority to speak on lol :D

[- Firestar and Nightbeat] "haha yes hi please do not perceive me"

[- Minimus, about Thunderclash] I mean. He's got a point. It's very rare that people type with proper grammar. Like me :D

[- Rodimus] I just love the randomness of this. He just carrying a table on his head.

#transformers #transformers idw #transformers mtmte #zefposting #shitpost #comic captures #mtmte quotes #transformers thunderclash #transformers nightbeat #transformers skids #transformers getaway #transformers minimus ambus #transformers rodimus #nightbeat is me fr fr #i wanna shake getaway so bad like sir youre so smart sTOP BEING AWFUL #also roddy is so real for getting them highlighters #highlighters slap #get some posca pens too they're always fun

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dildo-swaggins-t-baggins · 4 years

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Fun Sized

Note: This is valve plug and I’m really hoping not to be killed! Ya been warned.

I’ve been chatting with @cili-ai about this and uh, yeah, fun sized Thunders, that’s some hot shit. Enjoy!

Give me mini Thunders!

“Furthermore I highly suggest we have groups of 5 in the hangars at all times, due to the fact that the fire suppression system is constantly activated and we can’t track down who is setting it off.” Minimus continued, gesturing to the graph and photos, the hanger was packed with foam. “I would also like the security cameras to be left alone while we place hidden ones to catch the culprits.”

Megatron nodded. “That’s very thought out, I can look into who would be best to place the cameras and who we should assign to monitoring them.”

“I’ve always checked with Perceptor and Brainstorm to see if they can make a batch of cameras.” Minimus added.

Rodimus nodded along and rubbed his helm. “It’s a good idea, I’m down if you’re down.” He grumbled, the past few cycles have been hard for him, and not just him. His well soon to be Conjux had an emergency operation, and he shouldn’t be bothered by it, and for the most part he wasn’t. Rodimus really missed the comfy big frame to curl up by, he missed listening to Thunderclash’s engine’s rumble under him, or his big servos wrapping around his waist.

He didn’t really mind the change, or well he had yet to see it, Velocity kept giving him updates on Thunderclash’s condition, and what they would be doing next. She explained it to him, and explained it again, and again. So far all Rodimus understood was that Thunderclash’s spark couldn’t support his bigger frame anymore. And the best way to keep Thunderclash online was to transfer his spark and processor to another frame, somehow they could do that? From there Thunderclash’s spark would be nursed back to full health and his true frame would be stored away until he could support it again.

For the past few cycles Rodimus recharged alone, and he hardly caught any recharge, his berth seemed too big and there wasn’t a massive frame to cuddle him at night. Thus, Rodimus hardly caught any recharge and his frame was in knots worrying about his Thunders.

“Rodimus?”

“Hm?” He blinked.

Megatron glanced at Minimus and the two shared a look, they nodded. “Rodimus you should get some rest, we can handle it from here.”

He vented and rubbed his optics. “No, no I can get through this.”

“Rodimus, you’re over exerting yourself, you should go to your hab and rest.” Minimus pressed.

He didn’t want to be alone, he really didn’t want to be alone in that hab, and getting overcharged at Swerve’s sounded like someone was going to throw a pickaxe through his helm. He just wanted to curl up next to Thunderclash and rest his helm on Thunderclash’s chassis. “I’m fine. I-”

“Rodimus, why don’t you spend some time with Drift, I’m sure he can get you to relax.” He smiled, optics softening.

That wasn’t a bad idea, and Drift did help ease his anxiety. “Okay, but don’t set my ship on fire.” he huffed and rose to his peds, sending Drift a quick ping asking to spend a few nights at his hab. Hopefully Ratchet wouldn’t hog the berth like last time.

He quickly left the meeting room and made his way to the medbay, spotting Velocity standing out the doors, her back was turned towards him and she held her servos together tightly. “Hey Lotty.”

She jumped. “Oh Rodimus! Ho- Rodimus you need to rest.” She scolded him.

“That’s the plan,” He smiled. “I’m gonna grab a few things from my hab and spend the night at Drift’s, just wanted to check on Thunders.”

“Oh, he’s alright, still recovering, his processor is still figuring out the size difference, I’m telling him to take it slow for now. I would let you see him but he just fell into recharge.” She smiled warmly.

“Ah alright, ping me when he’s up, I’d like to see…” He snorted. “My lil man.” He laughed leaving Velocity on her own as he lazily made his way to his shared hab, making a mental list of what he had to pick up from his hab, the plush dragon that was Thunderclash’s, his favorite board, polish, maybe that one data slug that Thunderclash lent to him (the valve plug one). Rodimus shrugged and keyed in the code to his hab.

He stepped in and froze, the door shut behind him and with a flick of his wrist it locked, his spoiler twitched and Rodimus felt his frame started to wake up.

There was Thunderclash, a very tiny Thunderclash, Rodimus knew that aft anywhere, someone did their homework. His boyfriend was in a miniframe, a little taller than Minimus, his new frame hadn’t been painted yet, so it was brand new. Thunderclash was brand new.

Thunderclash hadn’t noticed him yet, how could he was was currently occupied, his tiny servo clenched down on the tarps, his helm was buried in one of their millions of pillows. His silver aft was hanging up in the air, his legs trembled and his tiny peds curled up. But the best part was that his panels were parted and two digits were buried deep inside of him.

Rodimus reset his optics, energy that he had no idea he had raced through his frame, a devilish smirk spread across his face plates.

Thunderclash moaned, his hips sinking down on his digits. “Roddy.” He whimpered, his swollen valve lips parted as another digit slipped into him. His peds didn’t even make a sound as he knelt down, he felt the heat from Thunderclash’s exposed valve, Rodimus waited and watched as those puffy lips clenched down on Thunderclash’s digits. He licked his lip plates and maneuvered his servo just between Thunderclash’s thighs. Then he softly pressed against the swollen outer node.

Thunderclash moaned, then he stopped and his helm spun around, confusion melted into bliss as his sweet red optics softened at the sight of Rodimus. “C-Captain.” He whimpered, his hips started to wiggled again as he tried to grid down on that digit. He always had this kink, where he loved to tall Rodimus Captain in berth, especially if Rodimus was spiking him, and admittedly it was a turn on.

Lazily Rodimus circled that node, pressing against it and then his digits trailed upwards, stroking the valve lips, he pulled Thunderclash’s digits away. He brought one up to his intake, licking off the lube from Thunderclash’s valve. Thunderclash watched with half closed optics as Rodimus sucked everything clean off and set his servo aside. Now that Thunderclash was watching him, Rodimus decided it was a perfect time to gently massage Thunderclash’s valve, just around his outer node.

“Captain.” He whined and started to hump Rodimus’ servo.

Rodimus purred and rested his helm on his servo, watching the lewd display. “So tiny, fun sized Thunders.” He snorted. “Mind if I find out how new this frame of your’s is?”

Thunderclash moaned and shook his helm. “Please Captain.”

His engine roared and Rodimus ran a digit up and down those wet lips, only to slip it in, but only the very tip. Thunderclash shivered and moaned, charge ran up his frame and tiny blue bolts flickered across his plates. Rodimus slowly slipped his digit in, feeling the heat from Thunderclash’s tiny valve, how his lube would sink between Rodimus’ plates. He pushed his digit in, all the way to his knuckle, then spotted, feeling something, it wasn’t Thunderclash’s ceiling node, or his gestation entrance. This was smooth, and flat and when he pressed against it Thunderclash didn’t react.

Rodimus’ spoiler flapped as he figured it out, Thunderclash’s new frame was still sealed.

It would be easy to break it now, he could flick it and shove his digit tight against Thunderclash’s ceiling node. But the idea of breaking his seal, that was something he wanted to do with his spike. Rodimus hummed and pulled his digit out, hearing Thunderclash cry out and clench down on it. He stared down at the thick lube that covered his digit, then back at Thunderclash’s hips, that now ground down at nothing, begging for his touch again.

Rodimus vented. “Alright, but tell me if it gets to be too much.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Thunderclash’s helm. Thunderclash nodded and his wide optics followed Rodimus’ movements. Two digits pressed into those valve lips, Thunderclash shuttered and moaned. “What do we say?”

“Captain, please!” He moaned as the digits pressed in further, stretching his tight little valve, lube started to drip from his lips and pool between his peds.

“What?”

“Captain, please give me an overload.” He whimpered hips bucked down on those digits.

Rodimus rumbled and took his other servo and held Thunderclash’s hips still. “Good mech, now just enjoy it.” He smirked, rolling his digit around and around, striking brand new nodes and sending charge through Thunderclash’s tiny frame. He was loose now, or somewhat loose, stretched just enough that Rodimus stuck in a third digit and Thunderclash squealed. Rodimus held his aft still and thrusted his digits in and out, forming a pace, meanwhile Thunderclash could only lay there as his valve was stuffed. “Such a good mini, so tight, so wet. Hmm, I wonder what my spike could do to you?”

Thunderclash sobbed, optics flickering as his charge started to build to unsafe levels. Rodimus watched his boy friend, watched his digits slip through those stuffy lips, and plumet deep into Thunderclash’s core, Thunderclash’s peds started to curl up and he started gasping. The only warning signs Rodimus had before Thunderclash overloaded. And he did, Thunderclash sobbed out ‘Captain’ and his frame stilled as Rodimus struck as many nodes as he could. Charge raced up and down his frame and Thunderclash collapsed into a pile.

Rodimus slowly pulled out, hearing a faint pop, and Thunderclash’s whimper. He yanked a rag from his subspace and cleaned up Thunderclash’s oversensitive valve, then his servo. Gently slipping the panel back into place. “Okay?”

Thunderclash nodded, optics still watering.

Rodimus stood up, his frame cracked and he scooped up Thunderclash, his boy friend whined in his grasp, charge still running over his frame, it shocked Rodimus every now and then. If he wasn’t so tired he would’ve taken this as a chance to see what that new valve could really do, what he could do to Thunderclash’s new frame. Instead he settled to flopping down, pulling Thunderclash up to the pillows and laying his helm down on Thunderclash’s chassis.

“Thank you Captain.” Thunderclash mumbled, his optics starting to dim.

“No problem, my fun sized Thunders.” He smirked and kissed Thunderclash’s intake, just as Drift sent him a ping. He sent one back saying that he was going to recharge in his own hab tonight.

#maccadams #valveplug #we all have our kinks #mini!Thunderclash #thunderrod #mtmte thunderclash #Thunderclash #idw thunderclash #GIVE ME SMOL THUNDERCLASH!#rodimus #mtmte rodimus #idw rodimus #alright kill me now tumblr #I might not post this on AO3?#Maybe?#rodiclash #Dom Rodimus #Captain Kink

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ratchetsboyfriend · 5 years

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I wrote this awhile back and said I’d write a sequel when I finished LL so here’s the fic I promised

You sat on the bench in the observation deck that had been specifically built for you. Staring out into the depths of space, your chest ached with some emotion you couldn’t identify. You felt like you had forgotten something but for the life of you, you couldn’t remember what. A clang echoed behind you and you jumped, twisting to see what had caused it. A sheepish Swerve stood there with a box at his feet though his expression quickly turned to one of concern as he saw your face.

“Woah are you ok?”

“Yes.” You tilted your head curiously, confused about what prompted him to ask. “Why?”

“You’re crying.” Swerve gestured to his visor, trailing a finger down the side in a motion meant to resemble tears. “Did something happen? Do you need me to call…” He trailed off, a rare occurrence for him, and for a second he seemed to almost stare through you at something else. “Anyways I thought I’d stop by and ask if you wanted any of these knick knacks from that room we cleared out. Figured it’d be a cool souvenir for you when you head back to Earth.”

You stood from your spot on the bench, rubbing away the tears you hadn’t even realized were on your cheeks, crossing the room to peer into the box. Inside of it was a number of model ships, a familiar looking one resting at the top of the pile. It was somewhat difficult for you to pick it up, considering how large it was, but you managed to heave it out of the box, settling it on the floor. For some reason the sight of it made your heart clench and your head ache, fingers idly tracing the etched in patterns as if they had done so a thousand times before.

“Figured you’d like that one, since it’s a model of the Lost Light. Dunno who made these but they did a pretty good job of it.”

You hummed in agreement, still struggling to remember why it seemed so familiar. “I’m not. Going back to Earth that is.” He shot you a questioning glance and you shrugged. “Rodimus and Thunderclash are putting together a crew, and I’ve agreed to join them. I can’t go back Swerve. Not now and not ever. It’s not my home anymore and it hasn’t been for awhile now.” Something stirred within your chest as you continued to stare at the miniature Lost Light, the sensation of floating combined with the sense that you were drowning, your body feeling too light and too heavy all at once as you hunched over the model ship, knees trembling.

Swerve’s servos hovered over you awkwardly as you curled in on yourself, expression growing increasingly worried as you continued to hunch over. “Are you really sure that you’re okay? I can get one of the medics over here to check you over or something.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” He seemed less than convinced by your words, the choked back sobs failing to help your case. “Just realized that I forgot something important that’s all.” You wiped away the fresh wave of tears but they continued to fall and your body only shook harder as you continued to cry, face pressed into the cool metal of the replica.

Rodimus was millions of years old, had been alive longer than your species had existed, but sitting at your bedside now with your frail hand in his made him feel as if he was a protoform again.

Thunderclash stood next to him, solemn and silent as you gently patted your captain’s servo, smiling up at them with a look of acceptance. “Stop looking at me like that. I’ve lived a long, full life, even if it didn’t seem all that long to you Cybertronians. I couldn’t be happier Rodimus.” You gestured to a box by your bed, “Thunderclash would you mind opening that up and taking out what’s inside?”

“Not at all.” He picked it up with ease, removing the lid to reveal the contents inside. A tiny version of the Lost Light sat inside of it, along with all the figurines that Ten had gifted to you so long ago. Seated next to your own doll was one of an unfamiliar orange mech that Thunderclash scooped up, holding it up so you could see it. “I don’t recognize this one.”

You held your hand out and he obligingly handed it over to you, watching curiously as you ran your fingers over the little mech’s face, eyes shiny with unshed tears even as you smiled lovingly at the toy. “This is Rung. And, if you don’t mind, I’d like you to put him, and all the others, up somewhere.”

“Of course.” Thunderclash delicately took the figure back from you, tucking it back into the box besides your miniature once more.

“Thank you.” You gave him another smile before gesturing Rodimus forward. You placed your hand against his cheek, doing your best to cup his face in your palm despite the size difference. “And thank you Rodimus. Thank you for giving me a home, thank you for helping me find a family, and thank you for letting me see all that the universe has to offer.” You carefully sat up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for traveling with me.” You sat back, sighing heavily. “He would've been so proud of you all. I can’t wait to tell him all about it. Give the others my love won’t you?”

Rodimus nodded but your grip on his servo had already gone slack.

Rodimus sat alone in his office, staring intently at the items spread across his desk. They’d held a funeral for you, those who had been on the Lost Light with you coming from far and wide to pay their respects one last time. It’d been a beautiful ceremony, a touching event, but something still didn’t feel quite right. The vast majority of your belongings had remained untouched since your passing, though a few of your friends had taken some mementos to remember you by, and after everyone had said their goodbyes he had gone to retrieve the box you’d entrusted to him and Thunderclash. He had arranged the collection of figures around the model ship but even then something still seemed to be missing. Looking back into the box he realized that he’d forgotten to take out one of the figures, the orange one that you’d called Ring, or maybe Rang. He plucked it out of the box and added it to the display, though even with the new addition something still seemed off. After some consideration he moved it so that it was standing next to you and for some reason he couldn’t quite understand, he moved your limbs so that your hand was clasped in his servo. To his surprise they fit exactly, as if they had been designed that way. You and… Rung looked perfect together.

He stood back from the desk, moving to the door. He paused before exiting, glancing back at his desk and the small figures of his family atop it. He smiled, spark aching, before flicking the lights off and shutting the door.

#rung #mtmte #transformers #transformers x reader #transformers reader insert #transformers imagines #My writing #this is like this bc i finished ll today and im letting that fuel me skjdvskjdn #roddy kicked down the door of my brain and said im going to be relevant to this fic and then he was #im not sure about the ending but i couldnt figure out how else to end it plus it was getting really long #in the end though im pretty happy with how this turned out

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troutpopulation · 5 years

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Cursed MTMTE headcanons

- Rodimus uses tik-tok

- Minimus Ambus is very passionate about HGTV

- Rung has erectile dysfunction

- Nautica sobs violently during Toy Story 3

- Starscream evades taxes

- Tarantulas is an Ariana Grande stan

- Springer likes K-pop

- Senator Shockwave would have loved Garfield

- Pipes is a weeb

- Brainstorm does inhalants

- Fulcrum and Getaway are Chad passing incels

- Ambulon likes anime

- Riptide has bastard children

- Minimus was onced tricked into calling Magnus his fursona

- Ratchet pops Xanax and keeps it on his at all times

- Thunderclash has a crush on everybody

- Drift moans at the chiropractor's office

#MTMTE #MTMTE headcanons #transformers #maccadam #exrid #lsotw #I hate these #elixtxt

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starvonnie · 5 years

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Lost Light’s ending has just fueled my angsty fic writing abilities so here’s more sadness but with THUNDERROD (kinda)

Thunderclash lead Rodimus along with a hand on the small of his back. He stared ahead, out of it. Like always, it seemed. Nowadays. At least he wasn’t drunk anymore. At least, not all the time. He couldn’t smell any engex on him today, anyways.

Taking him into their shared quarters—his quarters. Rodimus as a new addition had been wonderful. Thunderclash had never been happier. But…

Once the door closed, Thunderclash took a gentle hold of one of Rodimus’ hands and kissed the palm. Rodimus smiled at him. He always did. He always knew just how to respond. But his optics… they stayed the same dull blue. Seldom did he see them sparkle as they had on the Lost Light. Not since Megatron.

Thunderclash looked at him sadly.

Rodimus mirrored his look. “What’s wrong?” He touched Thunderclash’s cheek with his free hand.

Thunderclash shook his helm. “Nothing. Everything. Rodimus, you… I…” He sighed. “Let’s sit down.”

Rodimus’ field engulfed him in worry and fear. He responded with love—because he did love him. But he felt guilty all too soon after that.

Sitting now, Thunderclash kissed his hand again. And again and again and again. Then he kissed Rodimus cheek when he drew close. A bad idea, he knew. He was sending all the wrong signs for what he needed to do. Not wanted. Needed. If he was doing what he wanted he would have turned them both into berth and be holding Rodimus close.

“These past few months have been wonderful,” Thunderclash began. Rodimus froze beneath his hands. He wanted to reassure him, but… his fears were founded. “And I want you to know that I love you. I always will. But Rodimus… this isn’t good for you.”

“What do you mean?” He looked scared of all things.

“I mean that you’re… you’re not over him, Rodimus. And that’s okay.” He cupped his cheek before Rodimus’ helm could fall. “It’s okay. Expected, even. But you don’t want me. And that’s okay, too. I love you, and I want you, but only if it’s mutual. This… this isn’t real. I can’t be a part of this if you’re just dating me to try and forget.”

The first tear rolled down Rodimus’ cheek and over Thunderclash’s knuckles.

“I’m here for you,” Thunderclash murmured. “For anything and everything. I want to help you. I know losing him…” He swallowed around the bad taste. Megatron shouldn’t have ever let himself into Rodimus’ spark. Just look at what he’d done to him! But he had. It had happened. And Rodimus was alone to deal with the aftermath. If he could make him feel even slightly better, he’d jump at it. “I know losing him was hard. That it still is. That you might not be okay for a long while. It’s okay to grieve. But seek out others. Let them—let me—try to help. I can at least listen and share the burden, if only for a little while. But this can’t go on.”

Rodimus shook his helm fiercely and dislodged Thudnerclash’s hand in the process. “You’re not breaking up with me! I love you, too!”

“Rodimus…”

Even as Rodimus’ frame sparked, Thunderclash still touched him gently.

“I want to be with you!” Rodimus sobbed.

“I will still be here,” Thunderclash said. “If and when you’re ready, I will be here.”

“But…” Rodimus swiped at his face and hiccupped. “You won’t be. Everyone leaves. If you don’t stay with me, you’ll leave, too.”

Thunderclash shook his helm gently. “Rodimus. My Prime. It would take a great deal to make me stop loving you. Believe me, my spark is breaking. I’ve put this off for weeks, but I think you know. You don’t want to acknowledge it because it hurts. But it will be there until you face it. Megatron meant a lot to you and I can only imagine how painful it was to…” He trailed off as a river of tears poured from those beautiful optics. As much as it made his spark ache to see him so distraught, the colour—the light—had returned to them. Feeling something was better than him numbing himself. Or trying to drown himself in engex.

Thunderclash pulled him in for a hug and Rodimus wept against his shoulder. He pet his downturned spoiler as his frame shook.

“When will it stop?” Rodimus asked on a miserable whisper.

“I don’t know.” Thunderclash hugged him tighter. “But it will stop. It will get more manageable. This isn’t forever.” He wasn’t worth it. But he leaves those words unsaid. They weren’t helpful or kind. Not to mention they were fueled by jealousy.

Rodimus wailed his sorrows.

“Let it out,” Thunderclash encouraged gently. “I’m here. I will always be here. I promise you that.” He hesitated, then kissed the top of his helm. “You’re going to be okay.”

#thunderrod #lost light #lost light 25 #rodimus #thunderclash #megarod #kinda #lost light spoilers #lost light 25 spoilers #starvonnie writes

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overdorklord · 5 years

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what are mun's favorite transformers?

[Many. The commander has too many. Do I have to tell them all?Uh… Let’s a try, let’s cut most of them.

IDW: Fortress Maximus, Ambulon, Thunderclash— oh did I just repeat myself? ]

«Commander, there’s already a dork on the blog..»

[Fine fine. Let’s continue: Overlord, Rung, Ratchet.

TFP: Soundwave, Ratchet, Makeshift (sobs.)

Then TFA: Blitzwing.

G1: Starscream, Soundwave, Optimus Prime, Hook, Red Alert, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper. (i’d like to put them all really but let’s stop here. I’d put too many.) ]

#ooc #the commander talks

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primalprotector · 6 years

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tertiaxdecima replied to your post: I’m certainly not playing favorites, but... //MHMMM

((*THRASHES* You don’t understand!

One time, I went to tfcon and Milne asked me who my favorite MTMTE character was. When I said Thunderclash, he gave me a look like I’d been possessed by the devil.

It was the B-E-S-T.

HE IS MY BEAUTIFUL MAN. I HAVE MILNE SKETCH OF HIM AND OTHER ART AND I LOVE HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

*sees a man so beautiful she sobs*))

#ooc #delete immediately #tertiaxdecima #HELLO IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU #first interaction is me thrashing about thunderclash #a good start

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dustbunny105 · 7 years

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*sobbing and crying*

Th-thunderclash... what a guy...

#transformers #mtmte #lost light #getaway #thunderclash #okay so riptide implies that thunderclash did throw his lot in with getaway up to a point which isn't great #but i'm going to assume the best for now and honestly i can get over it i think if the best isn't the way of things

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dildo-swaggins-t-baggins · 4 years

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Thank you for answering my ask. Can we please have a sequel or more, where Rodimus is forced to deal with the fallout - which is so negative, it eventually drives him to leave the Lost Light? Oh, just one thing, and it's VERY important - the others MUST realise that they've gone too far in driving him away, and seek him out to apologize to him.

Oh, so you want pain? Alright, let’s get some spicy pain in here.

A tiny side note, Ratchet didn’t write the message

Spam inbox: full

With a nervous twitch, he scanned the inbox, hardly spotting to read the first few words before sending it to the waste pit. Telling himself it was fine, that the crew was angry, livid even, and he understood that he didn’t want to be a ruthless unquestioned captain. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. In a mere hour the once warm halls that were filled with bots that entrusted their sparks to him, were no longer greeting him with bright optics. They scowled, some cursed, a few even bumped into him or shoved him aside.

His optics stopped, reading the message code, he knew this number, the same number he would comm when there was a problem when one of his plates were dented, or he had too much energex. Of all the crew that joined him on this journey, he never expected this (he really should’ve), with his spark in his intake he opened the message.

Rodimus,

It's me, you know it’s me, and let me tell you something, Optimus had his hard days too, days where he could’ve ended the war in a single moment, and didn’t. Where the whole Autobot faction was ready to give in, he did lose some mechs, either in battle or joining Megatron’s army. But you’re no Optimus, you didn’t stand against Megatron, you didn’t stop Overlord, and you couldn’t save Nyon.

Think this through,

Ratchet

Long trails of metal peeled up off of his desk, helm met the same cold metal below and his spoiler sagged. Ratchet, the one mech that somehow was the spark of an entire army was upset. Rodimus knew what was going to happen next, it was only a matter of time. With a horrible vent, the kind that screeches he sat back, popping his digits and started to type.

Two messages, quick and simple, one to the mech that’s always been there, always will be, and really should’ve left. Drift. Drift held back the crew, helping Rodimus escape to his hab and his office, it was so bad that his blades doubled in only a week. When the idea crawled into his processor he closed his side of the bond, leaving Drift on his own. Drift would be fine, if he could strike fear into almost every Autobot, handle being thrown off of the Lost Light, he’ll be just fine. Besides, it would be good for him to have his helmache gone for good, maybe make better friends?

He finished the message, setting aside the data-slug and writing ‘Drift’ on the side of it, a small smile graced his lip plates. Then his last message, one to the crew, it was short, only a servo full of words. Part of him wanted to say something spiteful, snappy, but another part of him said that it was better just to simply say:

Don’t blow up.

And with that, he rose to his peds, vented, and started to clear items out, a few Earth trinkets, photos, and well a tiny piece of Nyon. The office was clear, then again there wasn’t a lot, maybe he didn’t belong there, in that chair, giving orders. Then again it wasn’t his problem anymore.

For once the hall was empty, he picked the right time to sneak away from Drift, maneuver the halls without any mechs and make it to his office. The lights were dim and most of the crew was in recharge, he alone walked the halls, taking in the sights, the sounds, the scent of oil and cleaner. Rodimus only paused at the portside window, resting his frame against the railing. His faint reflection stared back at him, his optics were dark, his shoulders sagged and a very prominent frown was plated on his face. Before him, was the stars, endless worlds, and adventures, maybe he’d find a home somewhere out there?

Another mech joined him, colorful as always, the two stared out at the stars. “So,” He started.

“Don’t.” Was that what he sounded like? It was rough, uneasy, and scratchy.

The large mech vented and rested his helm against the railing. “What do you want me to say?”

Rodimus hissed, glaring at the faint reflection. “Nothing, I don’t want you to say anything.”

Thunderclash flinched, his tender optics avoided Rodimus’.

Rodimus stared at the colorful reflection, his spark sinking, he was angry, but not at Thunderclash, at himself. He slumped against the railing and focused on his peds. Maybe if he could just find Thunderclash earlier, talk to him, apologize and explain, but no, the mech seemed to disappear, slip into the walls. And now? No, his processor was made up.

“Rodimus?” Thunderclash rested a servo on his back, then quickly pulled him into a gentle hug. He was squished against that massive warm chest, he didn’t fight against the massive arms. It was only then that he noticed the decal was blurry, hot washer fluid leaked down his faceplate. When did he start crying? Rodimus leaned into the comforting embrace, listening to the soft spark. He hated it, how come Thunderclash had to always appear and the worst and the best of times?

Rodimus pushed back and was set down, he cleared his intake and reset his optics, staring at the decal.

Thunderclash vented, unable to meet Rodimus’ optics either. “I know what you’re thinking.”

He didn’t want to have this conversation, not here, and not now. “Don’t, I…”

“Just, let me see you out?”

Rodimus nodded, leading the way to the hanger, the two didn’t say much, instead, they avoided meeting optics, touching, anything. He already had it all packed, energon, his items, anything, all of it was packed away. The Rod-pod sat there, waiting, fully fueled. Rodimus paused, turning back to Thunderclash. Odd, he seemed so small, for once, the colorful mech almost blended into the world around him, his colors were dull and his optics dragged. A part of Rodimus was glad that he wasn’t the only mech that was upset. He huffed, making his way to the colorful giant. “Hey,” He spoke softly, so soft that if there was anyone around them, they wouldn’t hear. Only for Thunderclash.

Thunderclash looked up, his stupidly handsome features were gray and spark broken, not in the same way of yelling at a dog but kicking a puppy. He was hurt, Rodimus hurt him. “Captain?”

Rodimus cupped his helm, leaning upon his ped tips. Thunderclash was as every bit of the greatest anything, he was the greatest captain, greatest prime, and the greatest kisser. Those warm massive servos pulled him in, soft lip plates met his own, and a tiny charge raced up his frame. They fell apart and Rodimus licked his lips. “Do me a favor, make sure nothing happens to the crew, I’m okay with the ship falling apart but not the crew.”

“I will captain,” He smiled sadly, waiting for Rodimus to load into the Rod-pod.

“By the way, it’s true, you do give the best hugs,” Rodimus shouted as the door shut.

The bay doors opened and with a push, he was free from the Lost Light, slowly he maneuvered the Rod-pod where he couldn’t see the big beautiful ship anymore, and with a few flicks, he left.

_______________________________________________________________

He held it together, only for a little while, once the Rod-pod slipped away that’s when it fell apart. His intake tightened and his knees grew weak, washer fluid bubbled up at the edges of his optics, and he hid his face in his servo. Thunderclash thought it would be easier if he avoided Rodimus, if he stayed out of the prime’s way, he was wrong, so very wrong. Rodimus left, his family, his home, just up and left, and he didn’t even say goodbye. All Rodimus did was kiss him. Thunderclash didn’t recharge that night.

The next day felt like a bomb went off, Drift was a nightmare, like a mad turbo fox he was racing through the halls, searching every hab, every office, every possible crevice that Rodimus could fit into. He saw the message, then the missing Rod-pod, and couldn’t accept that Rodimus was gone. Not even Ratchet could calm the raging swords mech, it was only when Drift stepped into Rodimus’ hab that it all hit him at once. Rodimus was gone. Thunderclash stared, Drift was a puddle of a mech, sobbing, brokenly calling out, hopelessly pulling on his side of the bond. The next mech to lose it was Minimus, he was instantly back in the suit, he would watch and stare, hardly ever consuming anything. He started cleaning, anything and everything, the bridge had been cleaned twice, then the hanger, the energon storage, he kept cleaning and cleaning. But there were moments he would freeze up, staring off at nothing, optics would flicker. Never showing any emotion at all. Then one day he fell, just fell helm first, he was pried out of the suit and rushed to the medbay. He wasn’t dead, but close, he stopped fueling at a certain point and his systems were shutting down. Then there was Megatron, the one mech that Thunderclash never expected to even care if his co-captain was missing. He was wrong. Megatron was cold, not cruel, he would lead the ship just fine, pick up supplies, repairs, everything. But the bridge was quiet, there lacked the strong sense of banter, the welcoming nature, and laughter that the captains would have. It was today that he noticed it, the stone-cold giant sat there, hardly moving, optics out of focus. Thunderclash worked up the courage to approach Megatron, stopping halfway as the captain turned to him. Megatron sharply rose. “You’re in charge Thunderclash,” “M-Megatron?” He shut his optics, washer fluid welling up, no one had ever seen Megatron cry. Somehow the captain once more returned to his cold self. “You’re the captain of the Lost Light now.” He sharply left, peds dragging. Thunderclash turned to the chair, spark sinking, it was big, too big, the ship was too big. He couldn’t help but laugh, it was dry and hurt. He opened a comm to the crew, a ship-wide comm. “I want a vote, a ship-wide vote, our whole command staff has stepped down, and currently I’m running the ship. A simple vote, do we get Rodimus back?” He ended the comm, rubbing his helm, and he mumbled something, it was small, tiny, almost insignificant under his breath. “I’m not physically fit.”

#rodiclash #thunderod #rodimus #mtmte rodimus #Thunderclash #maccadam #ask #pain #wanna see how hard I can cry?#Ratchet didn't write that!#drift #tf drift #ultra magnus #minimus ambus #megatron

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dildo-swaggins-t-baggins · 4 years

Note

Lord Rodimus tortures and tries to break Thunderclash in front of the whole Lost Light crew, but Thunderclash refuses to break: the robot that send the mean message to Rodimus confesses and apologizes, but Rodimus kicks him and laughs: "Do you think that changes anything? Everyone treated me like unfairly even before they misunderstood my words about Thunderclash and nobody was there for me when I needed them most! Tarn may be horrible, but at least he sees my potential and not just my flaws!"💔

Sorry this took awhile, been worn out with everything! But I hope you enjoy it!

Rodimus jammed the shock probe in the colorful side of the the Captain, watching the colorful frame buck and groan, but not a sound escaped those golden lip plates. The wires stretched but didn’t break, Tarn was getting better with his knots, he made another mental note, making sure that the purple tank was never behind him.

His spark shriveled, somehow the new and improved Captain didn’t even groan, where was the scream, the howl of pain, the fat tears? Rodimus pulled the probe back and watched as another ribbon of energon leaked from the Captain’s intake. Then he did something, something that made Rodimus’ spark burn, the fragger grinned and winked as his paint started to dull.

“What are you doing?” Rodimus hissed grabbing the Captain’s chin and pulling his helm up.

“What?” He wheezed a bubble of energon slipped past his denta. “Can’t I smile?”

Rodimus moved his servo down to the base of his neck. “I shouldn’t expect anything less from you, Greatest Autobot of All Time.”

“That’s enough Rodimus!” Ratchet yelled, flinging his famous ratchet.

Rodimus caught it, not even turning away from the dulling red optics, he crushed the tool in his servo and spared Ratchet a glance. The medic was covered in energon, Drift was under him, still awake but his chassis was open. “Ratchet, do you not understand the basic concept of slow death?”

“Maybe you don’t understand that you just attacked your captain, and your amica,” Ratchet glared at him. “I know that hurt, that hurt because I felt it too.” He hissed, welding up a crack. Drift whined and Ratchet hushed him with soft words, mumbling sayings of ‘everything will be okay, just hang on’.

“So you know everything now don’t you?” Rodimus snapped, turning away from his replacement and glaring down at the doctor. “What are you going to do Ratchet? You’re surrounded, the Lost Light is in pieces, and the DJD is here. Maybe you should think this through, and you might not lose another patient?”

Ratchet snapped his intake shut, his optics twitching, taking in Rodimus’ features. “Why’d you leave the Lost Light?”

“Why would I stay? Why the frag would I stay? Everyone said it, I was a horrible captain, even Optimus thought I was, setting me up with a babysitter. Then Thunderclash joined,” His throat tightened just saying his name out loud. “Who gladly showed all of my flaws, the crew favored him and...Getaway was right, I was a horrible captain.” He grit his denta, his helm burned, absently he reached behind his neck and rubbed a sore spot.

The Captain’s engine stalled behind him.

Rodimus glanced back, the leaking smile was gone, his optics finally held a certain fear, the fear Rodimus was looking for. “You were right Ratchet.”

“What are you going on about?” Ratchet snapped, placing wires back and closing up Drift’s chassis with a patch.

“I didn’t stop Megatron, or Overlord, and I couldn’t save Nyon.”

“What?” The grumpy medic frowned. “What are you going on about?”

“That message you sent me.”

“I didn’t send you squat.”

Atomizer of all the mechs stepped out, his digits fidgeted. “Uh, Rod-Lord Rodimus, so that wasn’t Ratchet, that was Getaway, and well I helped.”

Rodimus’ engine rumbled and in a flash he shot off Atomizer’s helm, what left was a smoldering stump. “Figures, still doesn’t fix anything, not like it can be fixed.” He huffed rubbing the back of his helm. “Doesn’t change anything. The whole crew treated me unfairly, even before the incident, before Thunderclash even joined. No one understood, or made an effort to. Then they found me, funny that they found use of me, and overlooked my flaws.” He sighed, his spark ached, he felt it, Drift was pulling on their bond, begging for Rodimus to come back.

“Found use?” The Captain croaked and laughed. “Really Rodimus, they found use?”

He spun around, staching the probe and slamming it into his replacement’s side, the Captain grinned through the pain, staring right at Rodimus, optics flickering. Rodimus pulled back.

The Captain laughed. “Use? I’m sorry Rodimus, I think you just need to face it, there’s no use for you.”

“I’m sure I can kill you.”

“Then why haven’t you done it yet?” More energon leaked out of his intake. “You couldn’t kill Megatron, or Drift, so what makes you think you can kill me?”

“Thunderclash, you moron shut up!” Velocity snapped.

Tarn stomped over to Rodimus, towering over him. “My lord-”

“Take him to the ship, we have more...toys there.” Rodimus cut off Tarn. “Let the rest of them wait.” He shifted into his alt-mode and raced off, his spark burning, helm hurting and his tanks twisting. “Stupid replacement, stupid Ratchet and Drift and…” He trailed off, creating a trail of dust in his wake.

________________________

Thunderclash hissed as he was carried off, he only spared a glance at Velocity and Riptide, meeting his closest friend’s horrified faces. He offered a small sad smile, knowing that if this plan failed, he would die, horribly. But at least Megatron would get the crew out, somehow. And maybe, if this plan worked out, just maybe Thunderclash might reach Rodimus.

They carried him to the ship, his helm filled with static and system errors but he held on, just a little longer. They stopped, and Thunderclash felt Tesarus flinch, he lifted his helm a bit and saw Tarn and Rodimus, they were close, servos balled into fists. One of his audio inputs was somewhat working, he focused on it, on what they were saying.

“You said you would kill him off!”

“Well I’m going to.”

“When are we going to finish off Megatron?”

“You will, I’m not satisfied yet!

“They were right there, he was right there, I could’ve made your whole crew’s sparks fade!”

Did Rodimus winch at that? “You’ll get your chance, not like I’m going to let them escape.”

Tran rumbled. “Rod-”

Rodimus burst into flames. “Enough! That’s the end of it! Thunderclash dies, the Lost Light is gone, and you can have Megatron’s helm!” He roared, turning to Tesarus. “Bring him to my hab.” He snarled, still in flames and stomping off.

Thunderclash groaned, he stared at the floor, counting the steps, the markings, anything from minor dents to scuffs, anything to keep his processor off the pain. He was carried to a hab, a large one, huge compared to anything the Lost Light had. His frame was hooked up to a couple of dangling wires, Tesarus checked his work and left.

Thunderclash hissed, there was an upside to energon loss, the numbing, he would’ve been in unimaginable pain, but now, as his frame leaked, there was just the steady feeling of cold creeping up.

Rodimus stormed in, prying off the rifle on his back and tossing it aside. “Fragging Tarn, he’s obsessed over Megatron, so-” He stopped and turned to Thunderclash. “So driven to get revenge.” Rodimus’ shoulder eased and he fell on his berth, helm in his servos. “I’m just as bad as him aren’t I?”

There he was, that’s his captain, there’s the Rodimus Thunderclash knew! “No, you’re not.”

“Ugh, shut up.” Rodimus flopped back.

“Rodimus-”

“It’s Lord Rodimus.”

“You know how stupid that sounds right?”

“Why won’t you shut up?”

“Because, you told me to keep that crew alive, and that’s what I’m doing.” He smiled. “Rodimus I wanted to tell you something, or well a few things.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“Swerve's, that’s where we met, twice a month we’d meet there, the crew, try to plan out a way to track you down. Megatron, Ratchet, Drift, Whirl, Cyclonus, Tailgate, Riptide, Velocity, First Aid-”

“Shut up!”

“I can keep listing if you want. They all came, they all realized their mistake, and wanted to find you.”

Rodimus jumped up, grabbing a blaster and started to take it apart, cleaning it bit by bit.

“Drift became mute, you know? He hardly spoke to anyone, even Ratchet.”

Rodimus started to whistle.

“It’s my fault, I should’ve gone after you, talked to you when you needed it.”

“What are you trying to do?”

He vented. “I wanted you to know that they missed you, and that well you’re the better captain.”

“Whatever this act is, this aft kissing is? It needs to stop.” he rubbed the back of his neck, flinching.

“You would’ve gone after me if I left, you learned that when Drift left.”

Rodimus flared, rushing over, his servo wrapped around the base of Thunderclash’s neck “Shut! Up!”

His optics watered, there was so much pain in Rodimus, so much hurt, and loneliness. What did Tarn do to him? Thunderclash smirked, he had to keep playing along, he had to. “You’ll have to kill me then.”

Rodimus shoved the cool barrel of his blaster against Thunderclash’s chassis, his optics narrowed and his fangs flashed.

“You can’t do it can you?”

“Why won’t you shut up?”

“You can’t kill me, I know you can’t, because you’re not Rodimus.” His helm spun as Rodimus slammed the butt of his blaster down on Thunderclash’s helm, denting his helm brim. “Rodimus wouldn’t have let me die slowly, if anything it would’ve been quick. Just like Nyon.” He pulled his helm up and stared at his once great captain.

Rodimus was crumbling apart, his optics watered, his frame shivered. “Why won’t you just shut up?” He spun around, once more flashing the 5 tiny welds on the base of his neck and he fell onto his berth, curling up and sobbing.

#ask #Ask Me #angst #sweet jesus #yea that's how this one ends #maccadams #rodimus #mtmte rodimus #Thunderclash #thunderrod #pain #i have no control

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dildo-swaggins-t-baggins · 4 years

Note

Part 2 of the crew accidentally learn from the DJD that Tarn is controlling Rodimus with dark energon idea: Lord Rodimus calls Optimus to call the older prime out for all his hypocrisies, flaws and mistakes, including forgiving Megatron for all the pain he's caused everyone (Rodimus included) and then Optimus abusing his power by making Megatron (of all bots) co-captain of the Lost Light! Rodimus smiles evilly as he tells Optimus the DJD are coming to Cybertron to do where Megatron failed! 😈

Ah the angst is ripe this season.

“It's an energon, but not from Cybetron.” Perceptor said inspecting the dried chips. “Primus, it’s dark energon.” He shivered and handed it back to Ratchet. “No one knows the full effects a strict dark energon diet could do to one’s frame, and I’m positive that no one would want to know either.”

Ratchet held Rodimus’ energon. “It’s addictive and it affects one’s frame and processor, those mods? They’re his frame, not mod.”

“Not to mention his movements in the fight, how fast his aim was with Getaway and Atomizer.” Megatron shook his helm, this was bad. Both of the other captains were in danger, Thunderclash could die at any moment and Rodimus was physically changing into something else. “What are the physiological effects of dark energon?”

_________

“Ugh.” Rodimus sat up, his frame cracking, he growled as his peds tingled, his claws tore at the soft tarps as he pulled himself up. He rubbed his helm and rolled it from side to side, the air hung with a familiar scent, fresh energon. Rodimus turned to the hanging mech, Thuderclash was covered in energon, most of his inner workings were exposed and his helm lulled to his side. Rodimus felt his spark leap up in his throat and he rushed to the colorful mech’s side, gently cupping Thunderclash’s helm. “Thunderclash?”

Thunderclash’s intake pulled in and he licked his lips, optics flickering to life. “Uh,” He groaned and winched as he moved his helm.

Rodimus held his helm up. “Thunderclash?”

“Rodimus?” He mumbled it was weak and laced with stadic.

His spark clenched, Rodimus paused as his claws dug into Thunderclash’s plating, they were sharper now, longer. “I’m here.”

He groaned, his frame wailed with each movement. “Rodimus you need to get out of here. Tarn, he’s doing something to you, and your frame, you’re changing.”

“Shhh, shhh.” Rodimus nuzzled his helm under Thunderclash’s jaw, he smelt the dried energon, the leaking coolant, and most of all Thunderclash. “It’s okay.”

“Rodimus you need to leave.”

“No,” He growled, pushing his face back into Thunderclash’s neck, smelling that ocean breeze that the colorful captain always carried with him. “Not yet.” He hissed, his engine growling. Protect him, save him. Rodimus’ finals twitched as a droplet struck one, he pulled away from the colorful mech and paused. Lines of washer fluid were running down his handsome golden face. Rodimus’ spoiler flicked back, he leaned in and cleared away the tears, his engine slowed to a steady pur. “Listen, you’re going to be okay.” He pressed his face plates up against Thunderclash’s, staring into those weak optics. Weak. Danger.

“Rodimus, please you need to leave here no-”

He pressed his intake against Thunderclash’s, almost tasting the same as the last time, but there was that sour taste, the taste of energon. The weaker mech whined, and more washer fluid slipped out of his optics. Rodimus gently held his chassis, assuring him that he would be safe. He didn’t even think about it, as he bit down on Thunderclash’s lip plates, drawing energon, he sucked on it, tasting the other. Rodimus pulled back, nudging his face plate against Thunderclash’s. Marked. Mine. “I need to go.”

Thunderclash sobbed. “Please stay here.”

“I’ll be back.” His spoiler flicked up and down. Rodimus cleared away the trails of washer fluid. “I promise.” He promptly spun around, his engine returning to it’s familiar growl.

_________

“Megatron, I think you need to see this?” Blaster called.

Megatron pulled away from Perceptor and Ratchet, and made his way to the half broken screen. A glitchy face appeared, burning purple optics, sharp denta, spikes jutted out of his helm. “Rodimus?” He mumbled and cupped his intake.

Drift rushed over, he was still wounded and each movement spoke how weak his frame was. “Roddy?”

“He’s on every channel, every transmission, it’s going straight to Cybertron.” Blaster added.

“What are you doing Rodimus?” He mumbled to himself.

Rodimus grinned, flashing a few sets of fangs. “Hiya Optimus,” He waved. “I hope you’re doing well on Cybertron, in your luxury hab, thinking everything is over. Then again you just dumped one of the most vile Cybertrainains onto me, and you just forgave him? For everything that he did?” The grin slipped away. “But Megatron wasn’t done was he? Far from it.” His voice got deeper, his optics burned with something else, something sinister. “So I’m going to finish it, we’re coming Cybertron.”

The video cut out and Drift collapsed, clutching his chassis. “I can’t feel him, I can’t feel Rodimus, he’s not there anymore.” He sobbed out scraping at his chassis.

Ratchet rushed over and pulled his Conjux out of the dirt. “Come one kid you need to rest.”

Drift clung to him, sobbing in his chassis. “Roddy, please come back.”

“Megatron?”

He turned to Preceptor and Brainstorm.

“What just happened?” Swerve asked, fidgeting.

“Rodimus just declared war.”

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starvonnie · 5 years

Text

megarod tw: suicidal ideation

its sad yall suffer with me

“Hey,” Rodimus says to the dingy, graffiti-covered wall. The ‘art’ even infringed on his ‘engraving.’ “It’s been a while, I know. I’ve been busy. Running errands. You know, important Prime stuff. And no, I’m not drunk. I just had a little so I could deal with other people.”

His face falls. Not that there was much keeping it up.

“I liked being able to just… be with you. You didn’t expect anything from me. Greatness or failure. I…”

Rodimus reaches for the letters, feeling for the “ON” under its new layer of neon yellow paint. Still there. Just like unseen scars on his spark.

“I miss you.”

A tear rolls down his cheek, despite telling himself that he wouldn’t cry this time. It’s been five hundred years, for Primus’ sake. He should be over this by now. But the second tear follows the first a moment later; scouts for the army that follows.

“And I still love you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.” He’s blubbering now. A blubbering mess. A blubbering, drunken mess. He’s not even a shadow of what he used to be. He doesn’t recognize himself in the mirror. “I… you changed me. You made me better and I can’t be just a half again. I can’t and I don’t know what to do.”

Rodimus slides down the wall. His spoiler scrapes and stings, but he almost likes it. The pain in his spark always trumps any physical pain, though, no matter how hard he tries. Every dent and crack could attest to that.

“I’m nothing without you,” he whispers. The night hears him, but does not respond. Cybertron still spins, time still ticks by, and the Exitus still sits, waiting for him. Not a captain. Just an errand mech. A lonely, pathetic errand mech who isn’t even good at being an errand mech. He’s passable at best.

He laughs, but it leaves him choked up and more miserable than before. “You know, I still turn to try and find you when I need to make a decision. Because you always knew better. I can’t decide on a route without you.”

Realizing his failures compounds on everything and the tears come faster and faster until he’s sobbing into his arms and wondering if he can die from crying. He kind of hopes so. It’s not like his life is going to go anywhere anymore. Even if he thought he could move on or find someone else, no one would ever love him like this. Most bots wouldn’t love him even at his best. And without purpose what was the fucking point? If Thunderclash hadn’t confiscated his flask he’d be chugging it down by now.

“I don’t regret you, Megatron,” he whispers. “I don’t. Not one moment. It was all worth it.”

He swears he can feel someone embracing him, but he knows this is wishful thinking. This wasn’t even a proper grave marking. He doesn’t know what they did with his frame and he’s partially grateful. But he wished he could have had some sort of closure. Spread his ashes among the stars. Where they’d kindled their love.

“Lemme know if there’s an afterlife,” Rodimus whispers. “Or reincarnation. I’m not gonna off myself because I’m a coward, but when I inevitably drink myself to death I wanna know if I’ll get to see you again. ‘Cause if not then I’d rather just not be anymore.”

The tears eventually stop. His face itches as they dry, but he makes no move to scratch it. He’s gone numb. And he just sits there until exhaustion claims his tired frame and he blacks out. When he wakes he’ll be back in his hab on the Exitus, tucked into berth. He knows Thunderclash picks him up. He wants to be grateful, but his only emotions nowadays are sad, drunk, tired, numb, or angry. The last one is what he uses on Thunderclash, but no matter how much he yells he’s always gentle with him.

Rodimus stares at the ceiling. Exhausted, but unable to sleep. He’s just past the few moments after waking up when he can’t remember and reality sinks in. When his chest aches at a manageable level, he drags himself out of berth to get his assignment.

What a life.

#megarod #rodimus #lost light #lost light 25 #megatron #lost light spoilers #lost light 25 spoilers #starvonnie writes #roddy

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