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jqmalikhsgib · 5 months

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quest

nine

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the clock was definitely mocking you. waiting patiently for aaron to arrived while you sat across from the woman that was about to listen to you about your marriage, divorce, family, and more.

she just smiles at you. soon enough you sigh in relief when aaron walks into the room.

you clears his throat as he sits right beside you. “sorry im late.”

“that’s okay. shall we get started?”

aaron hums. “what brings you two in today?

the two of you look at one another. aaron was the first one to speak. telling the doctor your story. it made you uneasy when she just nods and writes down the information.

“how does that make you feel mister hotchner? finding out you have three other children that you didn’t know about?”

“in the beginning i was livid. knowing that she took two years away from knowing my children. our children! it made me angry. but i realized i was just angry at myself. i did this to us. i ruined that relationship.”

“how do you feel yn?”

“i feel guilty. maybe if i just—maybe if i just stayed and listen to reason none of anything would have happened. i blame everything that happened in the last two years on myself. maybe then he wouldn’t have died.”

your biological father. aaron didn’t know you felt this way. you took all that blame. all that heartbreak that should have fallen on your dad. it wasn’t your fault. he needed you to know that this wasn’t your fault.

“darling, this isn’t your fault. none of this is on you. im sorry if i have ever made you feel like this was on you.”

“but you haven’t.”

“but i have though. ive been so short with you since you’ve been home. im not use to talking about how i feel.”

“why is that aaron?”

aaron turns to look at the doctor. he sighs. rubbing his hands onto his face.

“i would say it’s my job. that with what i do we always have to stay alert and keep how we personally feel aside. that may be the case but i think it’s deeper than that.”

“what do you mean?”

“growing up, my father, he wasn’t exactly a nice man. he would come home after working a case and he’d shut us down. verbally abusing us until we felt small and weak. he would call us that too if i recall. my mother was never really around. she didn’t really want children. my father was a traditional man though. marriage, kids, you name it. the physical abuse didn’t happen until he was sick. cancer. my mom would come back home just to take care of him. i assumed he felt emasculated. having his wife take care of him because he was getting weak by the day. so he took his anger out on sean and i. i took the most of it. not wanting my brother to suffer like that. if i showed any sighs of weakness while he hit me it’ll just make him angrier and hit harder. over time i became emotionless to his rage. that angered him ever more. over time he—he was too weak to hurt a fly. my mother continued to take care of him while i took care of my brother. over time my father died. we didn’t even have a proper funeral. just buried him next to my grandfather who beat him before because despite everything, that’s what he wanted. he still loved him. and in a way, i still loved my father. he was still my dad despite everything. but i showed no emotions. it’s not what he would have wanted. my brother on the other hand cried.”

“what about your mother?”

aaron scoffs. “she fell out of love with him the moment she married him. my father was known for cheating on my mom. she didn’t care much. she was different from my father. she grew up wealthy. only marrying my father because she got pregnant with me. her father forced them into marriage so she wouldn’t be labeled as the town whore and ruin their reputation. my father worked hard for his money. growing up lower middle class he had to. in a way my relationship with my mom was far worse than my father. at least my father showed some kind of affection. my mom was emotionless. only caring about her reputation and how she was perceived. i believe that’s why she took care of my father in the first place. instead of hiring someone to do it. so she could brag to her posh friends about how much of a great wife and mother she was.”

“is she still living today?”

aaron hums. “haven’t spoken to her since she met my late wife, haley. she didn’t like haley. never wanted me to marry her.”

“why’s that?”

“because—because she wasn’t as wealthy as us. she was middle class, haley. because of that my mother didn’t find her worthy. she didn’t want me to have a loveless marriage like hers. her words exactly. she doesn’t know a thing about my life. she doesn’t know about jack, haley’s passing, me getting remarried. nothing!”

“do you think she’d like yn?”

aaron avoid your eyes. he wanted to avoid the question altogether. he knew she wouldn’t. the why is what pissed him off and made him feel ashamed.

“aaron?”

he clears his throat. “no.”

“and why not?”

“because—my mom wasn’t racist. not in the sense you would think. she never called anyone who was of color a slur. but she was raised to believe that you should marry your own kind of people. that mixing up your ‘values’ with others would only confuse your children in the end.”

you had no idea aarons mother was that way. only knowing the details he explained about his father. he never talked about his mom. now you understand why.

“aaron, i had no idea. why didn’t you tell me?”

“because i felt ashamed. ashamed of having her as a mother.”

“you shouldn’t feel that way though aaron. she doesn’t speak for you or for our kids.”

aaron holds your hand.

“listening to you both and hearing your family history, i think it’s safe to say that you, yn, you have a hard time listening to others. you’re so afraid to find out the truth because it could potentially hurt you. it’s why you stopped talking to your siblings in the end. you knew they knew something about your father. it’s why you ran when your biological father told you the truth. and it’s why you left aaron. you were afraid if he came home that night and you pressed him on the issue he would admit his feelings for his ex wife and leave you. it’s why you left first. you didn’t wanna face the reality that the one good thing in your life for the longest time would end.”

you look at aaron. knowing what she was saying was absolutely true.

“and you aaron, you’re afraid of being yourself. showing any emotion is a sign of weakness all because of your father. you also don’t wanna end up like him. to raise your kids that way. it’s why you most likely teach them it’s okay to express themselves. showing them that having emotions and feelings is part of being human. you have this fear that your marriage could fail again and maybe your mother was right. maybe mixing classes and culture could ruin a marriage. but it makes you feel guilty. one of the reasons why you pushed your first marriage away and tried to push your second marriage away.”

aaron grabs your hand. he gently rubs it. feeling all kinds of guilt with what the doctor states.

“but neither of you are seeing the reality of it all. you both willingly came to therapy because you want to fix this marriage. you want this to work out. not only for the kids. but also for yourselves. i noticed that the moment the both of you spoke. have you ever stopped to notice you’re both still wearing your wedding bands? and you still call each other husband and wife, despite being divorced for the last few years? it’s because a piece of paper doesn’t determine your love for one another. you two are still married and have been even with the separation.”

the two of you look at one another lovingly. you loved each other. despite the past, the despite your childhood, despite the divorce, the drama! you loved him and he loved you.

i changed the story title and also made a playlist! each part will have a new song added to it. it will be titled the same as the song

anyway there is a tiny bit of a foreshadowing here so 👀

hoped you enjoyed

if you wanna be added or unadded to the taglist please let me know

taglist:

@ivebeenthearchersstuff @shergoretzxx @slut4ethan @rosiehale23 @madesavage05 @whotfskai @vodkori @zaddyhotch @14buddy22

#aaron hotchner x black!reader #aaron hotch fic #criminal minds #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch #hotch x you #hotchner x reader

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nwjn-z · 9 months

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Hello~ could I request Stan knocking on reader’s window in the middle of the night sad bc Randy’s being… Randy? So they go out to Stark’s Pond and sit on the bench while he rants and they drink n stargaze n stuff?

Late night confessions — feat. Stan Marsh x reader

warning(s): yelling, drinking, swearing

author’s note: OMG ANON IM SO SORRY I DIDNT UPLOAD THIS SOONER IVE BEEN REALLY BUSY, here you go tho i know it’s late asf but i hope you like it😞

It was 2:34 am, and the quite mountain town of South Park was in a peaceful slumber, but the Marsh household was anything but quite and peaceful.

“ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS DRINK AND MOPE IN YOUR ROOM ALL DAY INSTEAD OF HELPING YOUR FAMILY!” Randy seethes to his son.

“HELPING YOU WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING WEED FARM ISNT HELPING THE FAMILY YOU DICK!” Stan spits back.

“You know what Stan? I am so sick and tired of your shit. You don’t do jack shit all day, you never want to help out with the family business, and when you do decide to help you always fuck up. You are going to get no where in life with this kind of attitude Stanley.”

All it took to push Stan over the edge was bringing up his future. Ever since starting high school, Stan biggest anxiety was what he was going to do with his life. The fear of ending up a “waste of space” kept him up at night.

“Seriously fuck you dad.” Stan sniffles as he storms out the house, wanting to be anywhere but “home”.

Stan gets in his car and makes his way to town with only his phone and wallet. He needed comfort right now. He needed to go somewhere that was familiar, somewhere that he felt safe at.

Stark’s Pond was special to Stan. Growing up it was his favourite place to be, where he hung out with his friends, where he had his first kiss, and where he had his few good memories with his dad.

But he didn’t want to be alone right now, he wanted to be with someone he could talk to, who would understand him, who could make him forget all about his problems, who could make him feel good no matter what, he needed you.

You were up late for no particular reason. It was summer so you were off your normal schedule. You mindlessly scrolled through your phone while the rest of your family was fast asleep.

When Stan made his way to your house he began to climb up on to your balcony. When he managed to do so he couldn’t help but stare at you through the space in between your curtains.

He saw you laying on your stomach swinging your legs back and fourth and holding a pillow to rest your head on while you where preoccupied with your phone.

You where so beautiful to him. You always had been since the day you two met. He loved your hair, your eyes, the way you talked, how you were always to quite yet kind, the way you made him feel so weak. He loved it all, he couldn’t get enough of you. He wanted nothing more than to make you his.

He continued to stare, looking longingly at you with hearts in his eyes until you noticed him staring and freaked out. He saw you jump and threw your pillow at your window before you realised it was him. You cursed him under your breath while you opened the curtain to open the window for him.

“You scared the shit out of me.” You told him,

“I’m sorry I just got distracted.” he replied.

“What are you doing here, it’s almost 3 o’clock!” You said,

“I know im sorry, I just really need someone to talk to I just had a huge fight with my dad and I don’t know where else to go.” He says as his mind rushes thinking back to the fight as he tries to hold back tears.

“Hey hey it’s okay I’m sorry, we talk if you want I’m here for you.” You say sincerely.

Hearing your sweet voice speak to him so gently after being yelled at and berated makes him break his composure and hot tears stream down his face.

You immediately pull him into you and caress the back of his head as he buries his face into your neck, holding on to your waist for dear life.

After some time he reluctantly pulls away and wipes his face.

“I came over to ask if you want to go to Stark’s Pond with me.” He mutters as he tries to compose himself.

“Let me get my jacket.” Is all you say in response wasting no time getting your jacket.

“We’re gonna have to leave through my window, I don’t want to wake my parents.” You say zipping up your jacket

“Okay” he says meekly.

You both make your way out your window with Stan helping you get down. You get into Stan’s car and he begins to drive.

As you make your way to Stark’s Pond, you can’t help but stare at him while he drives. He has one hand on the bottom of the stirring wheel and the other hand on the gear shift. His hands are rough from years of sports and roughhousing outside, yet whenever you felt them they were so soft.

Your daydreaming was cut short when he came to a stop and you realised you weren’t at Stark’s Pond.

“I’m gonna grab drinks real quick, you want anything?” he asked

“I’ll just have whatever you are having, even though you shouldn’t be drinking.” you say in disapproval of his habit

“Yeah I know but I kinda need it right now.” he responds somewhat bashfully.

“I guess” you say.

As you sit in the car waiting for him you start to wonder why he came to you. I mean you guys are close friends but you thought that him and Kyle were closer, that he would go to his childhood best friend for things like this. Right?

You aren’t left with your thoughts for long as Stan quickly makes his way out the store and back into the car.

He gets back into the car and after a couple of seconds he starts to drive again.

The convenient store wasn’t far from Stark’s Pond so you arrived fairly quickly.

“We’re here” Stan announces

You simply reply with a hum in acknowledgment and make your way out the car with him.

You sit down and he hands you a drink before cracking open his. You two sit in silence drinking until your thoughts from sitting in the convenient store parking lot make their way back into your head.

“Hey, why did you want to hang out with me of all people?” you say still leaning your head back staring at stars

“What?” He asks, almost dumbfounded

“I mean like why not Kyle or Wendy even, they’ve known you longer and probably better than I do so I just thought you would go to one of them for something like this.” you tell him honestly

“Do you not want me to come to you?” He asks, worry written all his face and voice.

“WHAT!? NO! I mean i just thought that like, you would think I wouldn’t be any help you know?”

“Nah dude that’s bullshit, besides why would I go to my ex about my problems.” he chuckles lightheartedly

“I don’t know I thought she would get you I guess.” you say as he shakes his head “no”.

“Oh well what about Kyle then, surely he’d be your first responder or something.”

“Kyle doesn’t know shit about me at this point, anytime I try and talk to him about the things I go through he just doesn’t get it.” he responds truthfully

“We’re still best friends and all but, he just doesn’t understand why I can’t just “get over it” you know? It gets really fucking frustrating.”

You take a minute to process what he said but before you can say anything he begins to speak again,

“You aren’t like that though. You’re always so nice and never make me feel stupid or crazy for feeling the way that I do.”

His words flustered you. Only you made him feel comfortable and safe? You felt your heart clench at the thought. Without thinking you put your hand over his and finally look over at him,

“I’m glad I can be that person for you.” You say sincerely with a smile on your face

And just like that Stan just couldn’t take it anymore. You were truly the most amazing person he has ever known. You’re sweet, kind, and genuine soul made his heart swell and his face smile. He couldn’t hold back the words that left his mouth in that moment,

“I’m so in love with you.” He says with hearts basically in his eyes.

“What!?” You respond eyes wide and face flushed

“WHAT?!” he yelps, “OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT I MEAN I DID BUT NOT IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO AAAHH IM SORRY JUST FORGET I EVER SAID ANYTHI-“

“I like you too, well love.” you say honestly having waited for this moment for what felt like an eternity,

“Wait what?Really!?” Stan says, dumbfounded but simultaneously feeling his heart burst with joy

“Yeah dude” you respond with a lighthearted laugh, but before you could say anything else you felt the slight wetness of his lips on yours, relishing in the feeling you close your eyes and lean in, completely melting in his touch.

“You love me?” he asks smiling, wanting nothing more than to hear you say those three words over and over until he can’t hear anymore,

“I love you.” you say, more than happy to repeat that phrase till your voice gives out.

#south park #south park x reader #stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh x y/n #stan marsh x you #stan x reader #stan marsh headcanons #stan marsh sp

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girlwiththeobsessions · 5 months

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love sick c.f.

this book has also been published on wattpad. same username as the one on here. i update faster on there.

you and conrad had a secret relationship two summers ago, when you were 15 and he was 16. you broke up with him because your younger sister, belly had liked him, and you were afraid of hurting her. now, flash forward, you were 17, and you thought you had gotten over him, but maybe you haven’t

iv. deb shopping

part 1 part 2 part 3

i had no clue what was going on with conrad, why he was acting so different this summer, making me wonder what happened to the same conrad who would go on and on about infinity.

i slept in that morning, because of the fact that i stayed up way too late at that bonfire, but i eventually got up since i had work today.

when i went downstairs, dressed in a white lifeguard tank top, and red shorts, laurel, steven, and jeremiah were downstairs.

conrad was on the couch, and jere was making a 'hangover smoothie' for him, while steven was standing behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"do we really have to physically sit for our portraits?" jeremiah complained to laurel. "can't she just- look at a picture on her phone or something?"

"right?" i agreed with him.

jeremiah backed up a little from steven, having enough of him hovering over him. "okay, get out." jeremiah pointed at the door.

steven laughed. "what. why?"

"she needs to see you in the flash to capture you essence." laurel said, fixated on her laptop. "while you're still young, and full of hope."

"so poetic, mom." i joked, while steven and jeremiah laughed.

"her words." laurel rolled her eyes at us with a smile.

"well, conrad does not have hope, actually. he's hopeless." jeremiah insulted, causing me to laugh a little. "but! my hangover smoothie, it cures all."

"can you please just hurry up." conrad rushed him from the couch.

"just go back to bed. alright?" jeremiah shot back to him, and steven started looking over his shoulder again.

jeremiah put a hand on steven's chest. "alright, seriously, steven. get out. this is a delicate science."

"she hasn't painted you since you were little. i think it would be nice to have these portraits for when you're older." laurel added in.

"oh, no." steven joked. "when i'm older, they'd have like, holograms i can watch of myself, you know."

"or, this is why we have technology." i say. "where we have pictures? on our phones?"

jeremiah started the blender, causing conrad to jolt awake.

"just sit for your portraits." laurel told me and steven. "you don't see conrad complaining.

"he'll complain when he's actually conscious." i shot back at laurel.

jeremiah went to the couch and tapped conrad. "hey. here."

"come on, man. hurry your ass up, i can't be late to my first day of work." steven rushed jeremiah. "those little country club boomers are gonna tip me so hard they won't know what hit 'em!"

i made a disgusted look at steven. "ew. steven, i swear."

"come on, y/n." jeremiah laughed. "my boys gotta get that bread."

"stop." i shook my head at him.

i look over to see belly walking in the kitchen, and i give her a small smile.

"good morning." jeremiah says to her in an enthusiastic tone.

"belly, where have you been?" laurel asks her in a serious tone. "is that a bruise."

belly stands next to me and i run my fingers over the bruise. "mom, relax, she tripped when we were at the bonfire and landed on her face." i lied, i knew belly wouldn't wanna tell the actual story

"doesn't look that bad." conrad said from the couch, i look over at him, and made eye contact with him for a few seconds before returning my focus back to belly.

"uh, cereal?" jeremiah asked belly.

"yeah, hit me." belly softly responded.

"oh, my god!" susannah ran into the kitchen. "belly and y/n are going to be debutantes!" she hugged both of us.

belly laughed. "it's really not that big of a deal."

i'd forgotten all about the whole deb thing. it'd be hard trying to balance a summer job and being a deb, on top of that, i'd have to find a date.

"i'm sorry, like those two? my sisters, right there?" steven teased us.

"shut up, cretin!" i shot back.

"okay, this is going to be so much fun!" susannah fantasized. "just you wait. there's the tea, the auction, the- ball, of course.. i gotta write this down. we need to go shopping!"

"this sounds expensive." laurel said.

"oh, don't worry, laur, it's on me." susannah smiled. "it was my idea after all."

"y/n, are you sure you wanna do this?" laurel asked me. "it doesn't seem very you."

in truth, not really. but if it made susannah happy, it made me happy. i had to do it for her.

"it's not." conrad, once again, added his two cents from the couch.

i don't know how he went from how he used to act towards me to.. this.

"conrad, could you please be a little more supportive?" susannah told him. "now, which one of you are gonna be belly or y/n's escort to the ball."

"not me." conrad immediately responded.

"shocker." i say, in a sarcastic tone.

"i went last year." conrad finished his sentence.

"me neither. i swore off balls." jeremiah told us, causing steven to laugh. "the dances dude!" jeremiah said, laughing.

"wow, guys!" i say, sarcastically. "stop fighting over us."

"i'm not going with either of you." belly finally spoke up. "i am going to find my own date.

"it says debutantes require instruction, morals, and social etiquette." laurel read off her laptop.

"i'm going for a swim." conrad leaves through the back door, as i watched him go.

"yeah, y/n could use some etiquette." steven laughed.

"and you wonder why you don't have a girlfriend." i rolled my eyes.

all the sound drowned out as i watched conrad from the window, in his shorts, and no shirt on. i missed how things used to be.

i felt a hand on my shoulder. "you alright, y/n?" jeremiah asked me.

"yeah." i tried push aside anything feelings. "we should probably go soon."

"wait." susannah spoke up. "before you go, we have shopping to do!"

"seriously?" i asked. "i have work. i'm not going shopping."

but that wasn't true. susannah is a really convincing person, so before i knew it, i was shopping around stores with susannah, laurel, and belly, for the debutante thing.

i tried on different dresses, all colors, and different accessory's, hats, sunglasses, and bow, bags over my hands and arms.

then, i had to try on a debutante dress, i found a beautiful white long dress, i loved it, but maybe conrad and laurel were right. this whole thing was not my scene.

what have i done?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

END OF CHAPTER

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conradfisher #conradfisherxreader

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sapphicdib · 5 months

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"i could gush about my sig headcanons all day but auuughvjgghh". You know what, do it. I dare you. After that sleepy iterators post I'm itching for more headcanons to ponder.

SORRY THIS IS RLLY LATE, IVE BEEN WORKING A LOT

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A CATEGORY 10 AUTISM MOMENT ON THE DASH. this is legit about to be a better essay than anything ive ever turned in for university so strap in, obv everything is gonna be under the cut bc this is prolly gonna be long as fuck

Okay! My main headcanons for Sig are:

He uses he/she/it pronouns, but mainly he/she!

He's a bioengineering dork.

She's a specialized medical facility!

She doesn't really care much about the great problem, and thus has a lot of hobbies. He knitted her own scarf!

She has a lot of friends, even outside of the local group. He's incredibly close with Chasing Wind.

He's a mid-gen iterator, (Ages being: LTTM, SRS, SOS, CW, NSH, UI, FP), so his emotional AI is a lot more advanced than Suns' (there's quite a gap between the two, Suns is closer to Moon in terms of age).

She considers Hunter to be her daughter, Hunter calls him her dadmom and Moon her mom.

He tends to bury these emotions down for the sake of others, which leads to...bad situations.

She's terrified of being alone :)

Sig just gives me gender fucky-wucky vibes. Her pronouns are the/bit and he's committed to it. There's not really a basis for this in canon but it just fits his personality of being pretty laid back and goofy when not in um. emotional distress. Also the accessorizing to his puppet (ie the scarf) makes me think he likes to experiment with her appearance and presentation. To add on to this in the streamer au she goes by any pronouns and is pretty androgynous, so none of his followers can tell his AGAB, and its funny to him to watch the chat argue about it. (He's AFAB, tbh I can't see her as anything else). No one can guess his sexuality either, the only "confirmed" thing seems to be polyamourous, but other than that it's "whatever makes it gay", or "whatever pisses you off most".

Sig obviously has a knack for bioengineering, as he was the one who started investigating the idea of using purposed messengers to stay in contact with others once the comms degraded, not to mention the creation of the slag reset keys. Yes this is my incoming rant of "Sig is not bad at making slugcats", since sometimes people tend to act like "Sig didn't follow Suns' instructions" or something like that, and that's why Hunter is sick. There are MULTIPLE points in their conversations where it's outright stated that Sig was the one who did it first:

Sig was the one who showed Suns the process:

SRS: I purposed a messenger, and sent the information by land via a data pearl. NSH: How original of you. SRS: I learned from the best.

Sig clearly has experiences with messengers, and Spearmaster happens before Sig begins working on Hunter:

NSH: I feel like I need to be simplifying my speech patterns. Is that something you do when conversing with your messenger?

SUNS SAYS "ANOTHER" MESSENGER, AND THEN LATER SIG SAYS "ANOTHER MESSENGER" AS WELL. SIG HAS MADE MESSENGERS BEFORE:

SRS: Do you suppose you'll ever raise another messenger?

NSH: I'm tempted to start work on raising another messenger as a last ditch effort, but to be honest I don't think there is any point.

And then, in her reply, she says, "*I* started investigating the method".

NSH: If the need arises, I certainly would. After all, I started investigating the method out of the inevitability of our situation.

And just to nail it down that Sig was the one who purposed them first, the gossip between Wandering Omen and Pleading Intellect:

PI: You haven't heard about what No Significant Harassment did? WO: All I heard was the complaining. Didn't he send an iterator something distasteful? PI: Well, yes, but more importantly, he trained a purposed organism to deliver it!

WO: How do you even get a dull creature such as that to follow orders? I may consider asking him to teach me his ways.

So yes, Sig was the one to purpose the messengers first. She had already made at least one in the past, to send the "distasteful message" to someone. I'd honestly say he probably made more between that/before, to test the efficacy and also just to mess around with the process.

This leads into my next headcanon: Sig was a specialized medical facility! Five Pebbles mentions to Hunter that "I was not a medical facility even when the equipment was functioning," so I believe that there were some more specialized iterators built. Sig's knowledge of bioengineering could be an indication of this specialization, not to mention it fits with him not really caring about the great problem to the same degree as everyone else. Purely headcanon after this point, but when Sig was first built, Moon was very nervous about getting a new model of "specialized" iterator that she wouldn't be able to help train as well! Moon was a more generalized iterator as she was older, so she does have knowledge about medicine and bioengineering, as all iterators did for the health and growth of her city, but nothing to the degree Sig would need. Thankfully, iterators are fucking supercomputers, so its not like Sig needed much "training" in the way of that, but still. Moon wanted to be a good mentor to her! And she very much was, considering how Sig turned out. That's why they ended up so close.

After the mass ascension, he became the resident "doctor" of the local group. Pointing back to the slag reset keys, Sig seems to have shoved as many as he could into that thing, since Pebbles reacts to the amount of them with surprise, so he knows his way around iterator biology. In pure headcanon mode now, when they develop my tangible projections thing (which Sig and Moon were heavily involved in), it meant that she could actually help others by preforming repairs on their puppets, and even their structures by sending her overseer into them. Moon's inspectors enjoy head pats from her whenever he's passing by.

Her being a medical facility also means she doesn't give as much thought to finding the Triple Affirmative as others. His processing power was delegated more towards finding cures, aiding the sick, and engineering better production techniques for medical equipment and such. His city is also highly accessible and optimized for the disabled and elderly. When you're a medical facility, your goal is more to keep people alive than perma-kill them! I mostly get this headcanon from the fact that when Suns is faced with "what to do" other than solve the great problem, they respond with "What else CAN we do? You're stuck in your can, and at any moment you have no more than two alternatives: Do nothing, or work like you're supposed to.". Meanwhile, Sig responds to Suns' question about purposing another messenger with "There's nothing better for me to do with my time, though.". Not to mention, he was already purposing messengers before this, so she certainly wasn't dedicating all of her time to iterating the great problem! Of course, he probably did iterate on it, just not to the degree his peers did. He also jokes about it in that broadcast where Wind is telling everyone about erratic pulse, saying "Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along!" so it really seems like he doesn't take it very seriously.

Her disinterest in solving the problem led to her developing a wide range of hobbies. He's an iterator after all, they probably get horrifically bored if they're not doing something! She taught herself to knit (telling his citizens it helped her focus so they would provide her with needles and yarn), and eventually learns to make garments as well. I headcanon he plays video games too, especially with Chasing Wind, mostly just because she probably wanted to see if an iterator could run Doom for the lolz. Probably also trolls in the group chats sometimes, considering the "distasteful pearl", and I think her being being NGI ("No Great Ideas") would be funny as hell. This also makes it pretty obvious why I made the streamer au, Sig's a top level player for multiple FPS games and has won some pretty prestigious awards in esports tournaments. And then she goes home and plays Hollow Knight randomizers with Pebbles in a maid outfit.

Sig's personality also lent itself to having a lot of friends. Her and Chasing Wind were built less than 50 cycles apart (Wind is older), so they're practically attached at the hip. Wind isn't in her local group (He's in Sliver's), but they're still very close. It's not really explored much in canon since we really only see her interact with Suns for the most part, but given her personality, I don't think it'd be a far off assumption for him to have lots of friends. Because she's younger, she also has a more sophisticated emotional AI...which can be detrimental at times, but is helpful when it comes to maintaining friendships!

AHAH So here comes the um. SAD portion of the rant lol. I feel like Sig buries her emotions down a lot, for the sake of others. In her conversations with Suns, we do see him get snappy with him, but for the most part he remains either calm or sympathetic, at the most a bit pessimistic towards the end. When she finally does call Suns out for their bullshit, he (presumably) stops replying to Suns for a short time before apologizing and continuing to talk to them.

SRS: I'm in noticing you are becoming more defensive. This obviously wasn't the end result I was aiming for, you know. SRS: Please respond to my messages. I don't want to leave it like this. I need someone to talk to. NSH: I don't mean to be cold, I'm just very worried.

After this interaction, Sig seems to either just reply with facts/possibly explanations for Moon/Pebbles' actions, or completely changing the subject to Suns' messenger, which then leads to the broadcast where Suns is telling her all the ways they modified their messenger to sneak past Sig's overseers, by not giving them the mark and hiding the pearl, we see Sig's replies become very short, single sentence answers.

This to me reads as slightly passive aggressive, but Suns doesn't seem to pick up on it. To be honest I in my head I hear this as Sig hissing this shit through clenched teeth if he could, but it's just text so I suppose we'll never know.

Additionally, he still does let his emotions overwhelm her at points, (such as during the "Your plan was a complete failure" broadcast), but the most blatant is probably in the messages she sends to Moon and Pebbles.

Starting with the Pebbles one:

NSH: Five Pebbles, I will say once again. You need to stop. Immediately. NSH: I know you are going to trash this message like the rest, but... NSH: I hope eventually when you are out of this state of mind you will look back at these. NSH: Look back and reflect on all the regrets you've set yourself up to have.

Sig is angry. Like he shows no sympathy for him, and just hopes he wallows in regret for the rest of his life. She does express his dislike of Pebbles while talking to Suns as well, but manages to still be nice by saying "I think a lot of us were like that in the beginning.", and such, and then drops the subject by the next broadcast by talking about Suns' messenger. He only ever talks about Moon's condition, likely to keep himself from being a dick about Pebbles in front of Suns because talking directly about him is obviously pretty touchy. But this broadcast is straight up mean. She doesn't manage to hold back her emotions but to be honest? I don't think he actually cares, if he burns that bridge with Pebbles then fine, because Pebbles burned it first.

Pebbles took away one of the few friends he still had in this dying world.

I really and truly believe that Sig's biggest fear is being alone. She makes the slugcats as a way to keep in contact with others after the comms arrays degrade. After being snappy with Suns, she immediately backtracks, apologizes, and keeps talking to them, even if it hurts. His messages to Moon also emphasize this:

NSH: Moon? Moon, are you able to communicate?

NSH: Moon? It's me again.

NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay.

The fact that we are provided two of these broadcasts and not just one seems to point to the idea that these are not the only two Sig sent. "It's me again." There is more desperation in her tone compared to the messages he shares with Suns, possibly because he's more comfortable expressing his profound distress with Moon because they're closer. A part of me headcanons she...never stopped sending messages. He needs to know she's okay. You can even find a green overseer in outer expanse and subterranean, locked out of the facility but still searching, still looking for any sign of Moon...or Hunter.

When Sig sends Hunter to Moon, the pearl he sends is goofy and lighthearted. He doesn't want to bring her down when she's already suffering enough. It's short, and sweet, because anything longer would probably devolve into something unpleasant. She's holding the words on that pearl together with tape and glue. Once again, hiding the pure grief he feels for the sake of others.

I also think that's why Hunter is sick. Once again, pure headcanon, but Sig mentions this on the pearl:

Excuse the unorthodox delivery method, equipment eroding etc etc.

I kinda interpret this as Sig pushing herself too hard to make Hunter in time to save Moon, and in turn, irreversibly damaging himself in the process. An emergency shutdown occurred after he ignores the 50th pressure warning his systems desperately tried to get her to pay attention to, causing Hunter to become sick thanks to the sudden disruption in his concentration, much like Pebbles and the rot. This is also why no other messengers were sent after this, Sig simply couldn't make any more that were healthy. She loved Hunter, and I fully believe that, as Hunter's last vision in the void sea was to return to his arms. Continuing the pure headcanons now, but he treats Hunter like a daughter and knits her a scarf for her journey. She tells Hunter that Moon is her mom. She gives Hunter a name, which were held in very high regard in ancient culture, a gift so she can at least be remembered for her sacrifice: "Hunting the Stars, Moon's Savior."

All and all, Sig is desperately trying to delay the inevitable, watching the walls of loneliness close in as she loses contact with friends, slowly encroaching on her until he's locked up in a box. Alone.

HOWEVER!

I for one, absolutely adore the goofy, flirty personality the fandom gives Sig. I really do believe when he isn't in extreme emotional distress, she is like that. The motherfucker uses tildes in his texts and teases Suns and makes jokes about slimers and lizards. I just like peeling apart the little snippets we see of him, which are mostly at pretty low moments unfortunately, and just seeing what I can extrapolate from that. Even if some of my headcanons are far-fetched and shit, I do at least try to keep most of them at least slightly in character with some explanation.

I hope you enjoyed my unhinged rant about my favorite guy!!!! I put this in google docs and its literally like, 2.4k words, I could genuinely have turned this in to one of my fucking college courses LMFAO. It's probably better than some of the garbage I DID turn in tbh. If you want more I am totally happy to provide, cuz I could make a whole OTHER ramble about Hunter that's just as long LMAOOOO

(Oh also none of this applies to rot au Sig. that freak deserves her own post bc at this point he's 50% oc and 50% No Significant Harassment Rain World LOL)

#rain world #rain world downpour #no significant harassment #NSH RW #rw no significant harassment #rain world lore #letters #GIANT ESSAY INCOMING #IVE BEEN ALLOWED TO RANT ABOUT MY BLORBO #CATEGORY 10 AUTISM MOMENT #rw

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sgtmickeyslaughter · 2 months

Text

Weekly Tag Wednesday

I was tagged by @mybrainismelted @energievie and @lingy910y, hi guys!

Name: Gigi

Age: 24

Location: Brooklyn, NY

And now...

Latest music discovery: I've been listening to a lot of 70's african rock lately and really loving it with the good weather

Latest movie: Nothing new, but I'm most excited to see Monkey Man, bc ive thought Dev Patel was awesome since he played prince zuko, the only redeeming part of an otherwise irredeemable movie

Last TV show you finished: Atlanta, it was so fucking good

Most recently started book: Braiding sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Most recent trip out of town: omg, i guess it was christmas when i went home. definently thinking about hiking trips upstate and beach days on the coast since the weathers getting nice

Most recent trip out of the country: Korea, precovid yikes. im planning my first trip to europe this year, im going to ireland! but haven't been fucked to plan it yet

Most recent gift you made yourself: i got myself a bunch of candles recently, Im trying to get enough to light my apartment by candles alone

Most recent gift you made to someone else: i had a bunch of overripe bananas so i dropped off banana bread for my gf and her roommates

Most recent text message you received: my group chat trying to figure out what to do this weekend, which has me thinking about what clubs i frequent that Mickey would like, i think theres one he would tolerate and two he might actually like

Most recent text message you sent: texting my nail tech for an appointment lol

Last fic you read: The Southside forever series highly recommend

Last drink you had: coffee

Last thing you ate: yogurt and eggs on toast this morning and ill be sitting down for dinner soon

Latest piece of clothing you bought: I got a couple blouses and sundresses recently, but ive been trying not to do any shopping until i clean out my closet

Latest piece of advice you received: my doctor telling me how to boost my immune system since ive gotten sick like 4 times this year

Latest piece of advice you gave: I gave someone directions on the street today, so that probably counts

Latest thing you promised yourself: that im not getting fucking sick again!!! Im going to be super discipline and stay healthy

tagging: @gallawitchxx @stocious @iansw0rld @jrooc @em-harlsnow@spookygingerr @mickeym4ndy @mickeysgaymom @deathclassic @metalheadmickey @atthedugouts @transmurderbug

#sgt says #tag game

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carliim · 10 months

Text

The Fourth | Jeremiah x Fem!Reader

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summary: its the Fourth of July and Jeremiah sees you watching the fireworks with Conrad, he's loved you for as long as he can remember, how is he going to react? is he going to see the situation different than it really is? (belly basically doesn't exist and youre in place of her)

request: yes/no (that was really fast lol)

word count: 1k

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, and that's all I can think of!

(not proofread and I wrote this late, ill fix errors later :))

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Jeremiah's pov:

it was the fourth of July night at cousins beach. we had all spent most of the day down at the beach playing drinking games and eating a bunch of food. and all I could do the whole time was watch y/n. only mom knows but I have loved her basically since I was twelve... I stayed home with her for a week while she was sick and I took care of her, and when I got sick two days later she took care of me. I've always seen her as beautiful. even way before this summer. but guess who also did. Conrad. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up going for Conrad rather than me. I mean yeah he's older, taller, mysterious, but he would never truly care for her as much as I do. Conrad likes the idea of someone needing him and wanting him so he will take that to his advantage until he no longer needs it and then he will push them away, and im not letting that happen to y/n. I can take care of her.

y/n's pov:

I was standing down at the dock watching the fireworks out in the distance smiling to myself at how great of a day I had. I couldn't help but smile when thinking back to every time I caught Jeremiah glancing over at me. he's always been the flirtatious type but recently he's been seeming more sincere about it. that's why I think ill always pick jer. he's taken care of me since we were twelve. all the way back to when he stayed home with me when I was sick. I've loved him ever since and have always promised myself to look after him.

I noticed a figure walk up next to me.

"oh! hey Conrad" I smiled in his direction before looking back to the fireworks

"hey y/n/n" he said slightly monotone that made me look back at him

"Is everything alright?" I turned my body to face him completely and tilted my head to get a better look at him

"um, yeah yeah. I just have something ive been meaning to talk to you about."

"what's up?" I look at him slightly concerned

he looks at me for a few moments, seemingly nervous. instead of speaking he only moves closer to me, taking one of my hands in his. I shift uncomfortably, not liking where it's seeming to be going.

don't get me wrong I love Conrad. but I have and will always see him as a brother. my heart belongs to someone else.

before Conrad could get any closer, a firework flies right by the both of us causing me and Conrad to jump.

"um, I uh, I think im going to head back inside. I think im going to call it a night. goodnight Conrad." I start heading back up to the house quickly, wanting to get out of the situation.

"right, um, goodnight y/n" he clears his throat, glancing back down at the ground before turning back.

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once I got back inside I walked upstairs and headed to my bedroom, I walked in the door but stopped and walked towards jers room. I wanted to make sure to say goodnight to him before heading to sleep, and see if he had as good of a day as I did.

"knock knock, its me" I opened the door and peeped a head inside. the lights were off but her was sitting on his bed facing the opposite direction. "I wanted to see how your day was, I had a lot of fun hanging with all of you and I- jer? are you listening?" I walked over and sat next to him, moving his chin so he was looking at me.

"why him y/n" jer said with a tear stained face.

"woah woah jer why are you crying? what are you talking about?" I turned to face him fully and took one of his hands in mine.

"Conrad." he scoffed. "I seriously should've known that it would end up being him. I saw you both down at the dock together" he let another tear fall as he looked me dead in the eyes with so much hurt.

"no no no jer you're seeing this all wrong. I didn't know what was going down back there. I was just watching the fireworks and he came up to me like that. if im being honest I think he had one too many drinks tonight and didn't even know what he was doing himself." I gave him a sympathetic smile as I rubbed his hand softly

" so you didn't kiss him?" he asked as his gaze softened "and you didn't want to kiss him?"

I laughed and placed a hand on his cheek "jer. no I didn't want to kiss him and I definitely didn't. im honestly glad that definite accidental firework went off. "

"yeah uh that's my bad." he glanced down tugging a smile grin

"I thought so.." I smile softly "look, jer. you are honestly one of the sweetest, and most caring people I have ever met in my entire life. since day one. you have always been the one to look out for me and take care of me. no matter the situation you were the one the came to my rescue. I was drunk? you were the dd. I was sick? you took care of me. I was crying over something dumb? you were my shoulder to cry on. someones messing with me? you'd beat them up in a heartbeat. I can go on and on. jer. it's always always been you and I don't know have you haven't seen that. I wouldn't choose anyone else but you." before I could let him get a work out of his mouth I cupped his cheeks and pressed my lips onto his in a soft kiss. his eyes widened in shock before he melted into it, bringing his hands to hold my waist. i pulled away slowly after a few moments and smiled at him.

"will you stay with me tonight" he asked as he rubbed my sides softly

"of course jer." I smiled and laid down with him, my head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around me holding me close.

"my moms gonna flip when I tell her about this."

"nah honestly I think she sees everything coming." i look up at him. "and probably this too, we both go to her about everything." we both laughed and not long after fell asleep. gosh this is going to be the best summer yet.

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pls pls like and reblog!! 🫶🏼

#tsitp #jeremiah x reader #jeremiah fisher #conrad fisher #conrad x reader #the summer i turned pretty #gavin casalegno

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spoopydooblr · 7 months

Note

The Ken and Stella pregnancy blurb was so good could you write one where they find out that she’s pregnant?

ive been thinking about this scenario a lot and i cant really decide how i want this to go . . .

i think a year or so after they get married (stella is like 30ish) they start to really do their research and find the best fertility clinic in the city. its been almost 20 years since kendall and rava struggled to get pregnant, but still, he's not feeling optimistic.

stella gets a clean bill of health from the doctor, but ken isn't so lucky. just as he suspected, he was the problem. again.

was it the drugs? he was clean now, but he used so much...could he have ruined his chances forever?

stella assures him that it'll be okay, but she never went through what he had to 20 years ago.

they decide on a couple of treatments. they're both taking shots every day and pills at night and its exhausting. most of the meds go to kendall, but stella has to take some too, just in case.

they begin with intrauterine insemination, which is pretty simple and painless, but stella gets her period two weeks later. its hard on both of them, but especially kendall because he knows it's him, not her.

next they try ivf, which is a lot more complicated and expensive (not that money is an issue). now they both have to do injections and stella goes in for her egg retrieval.

the egg retrieval goes better than expected and they're left with 10. ken's sample has some relatively viable sperm so they pull the trigger and try to make some embryos.

the waiting is by-far the worst part, because deep down kendall knows there's no way those embryos are going to get made with his shitty sperm. he's right, unfortunately, and they're back to square one with zero embryos and ten now-frozen eggs.

kendall suggests a donor, like they did with iverson. stella's heartbroken, but they start to look into other options.

because they have the best doctors, however, they get into a trial for a new drug that increases sperm count and viability. stella is thrilled and insists kendall try it, but it's another injection and he's not super happy about it. nothing has ever worked for him, why now?

it's nice to have a break from more intense treatments, so they agree and kendall marks his torso up with injection pricks again.

three months later, ken and stella are enjoying some time off from surgery and tiny, microscopic cells that control their lives. kendall's in new york for the week, working on some financials for their production company (i imagine them making something rival to waystar and completely taking over the media scene), and stella is holding it down in los angeles, or at least trying to.

it's flu season and she's been to so many fancy parties in the last few weeks, stella is sick as a dog. she's a little worried, but the nausea, vomiting and headaches are typical for the flu, right?

she also chalks her late period up to stress. but it's been at least a few weeks...

the day before kendall is supposed to come home, stella drives herself to the hospital after she can't stop throwing up.

"when did the symptoms start?" the doctor asks.

"a week ago, i think, but ive been feeling kind of off for a while."

"and there's no chance you're pregnant? when was your last period?"

stella's heart skips a beat.

"um, i'm not sure. we're trying, uh, but it's been unsuccessful. my period is really irregular and i've been stressed so--" she trails off. "we've been trying for a couple of years."

"and are you taking medication?"

"i did, but it's not really..." she thinks for a bit. "it's not a uterus issue, it's my husband."

"and what is he taking?"

she tells the doctor about the new medication kendall is taking. "it's only been three months, so we're still hopeful. or at least i am."

"i've heard some great things about that new drug. it's really changing people's lives." the doctor smiles, turning away from stella and writing something down. "i'm going to order some tests, but i think you're fine."

------------------

kendall, obviously, sprints to his jet when stella tells him she's sick. she insists she's fine, but wants him to come home as soon as he can, which stresses him out to no avail.

he bursts through the door four hours later, finding stella reading a magazine on the couch.

"stell!" he says, running towards her.

"hey baby." she hugs him, bringing him down to the couch with her. stella presses her lips to his, but kendall is confused.

"aren't you sick?" he pulls away.

her face breaks into a huge smile. "about that..." stella gets up from the couch and walks to the kitchen.

kendall looks at her quizzically, as she comes back with a piece of paper in her hands.

"i have something to show you." she says, holding the paper close to her.

"okay..." kendall smiles at her, utterly confused.

stella carefully sits next to him on the couch. "here."

kendall recognizes the picture immediately. he used to frame them when rava was pregnant with iverson.

"what is this?" he holds up the ultrasound. it's too good to be true, right? tears prick his eyes.

stella is crying already, and takes his hand. "that's inside of me."

he looks down at the black and white photo again. a fuzzy, bean-looking object sits, next to another, smaller object. he's speechless for the first time in his life.

"what is that?" he whispers, pointing to the smaller object on the page.

stella looks at him, and he really can't read her for once.

"this surprise comes with another surprise." she laughs.

kendall's crying, but he takes another look. "is that..."

"yeah."

"two?" he smiles wide.

"i'm pregnant." she finally says, putting her hands on his cheeks. "baby, we're having twins."

they both burst out into crying giggles, hugging. kendall kisses her all over, stopping at her stomach. it's still pretty flat, but he knows her body so well he swears he can see a tiny bump growing.

THIS WAS SO FUN AND LOVELY TO WRITE I LOVE THEM AND I HOPE U DO TOO

#kendall roy x oc #kendall roy x reader #kendall roy

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dontyouworrydaddy · 10 months

Note

Hi hi !! Love your cod hcs!! And I apologise if I spammed them.

They pretty much made me smile today since ive been binging on them. If it's okay can I ask for some of the cod boys comforting a medic reader and their new employer is just a dick. Where reader works so much over time(even during sick days), maybe the boys get worried because reader's body is just basically telling them, they need rest?

My job has been kinda crappy lately and I've considered finding another clinic to work at because some staff get treated like shit while others are put on a pedestal.

ᙖᥱttᥱɾ Ꙇᥙᥴƙ ᥒᥱxt tɩຕᥱ

Task Force 141 + gn! Reader

Hey Love! First of all, thank you so much for helping people that need you. I wish you the best and I hope you find a clinic that gives you what you deserve. Please don’t forget to also take care of yourself <3 I love you!

And thank you so much 🥺 This literally means so much to me <3 Spam as much as you want, I literally don’t care. In fact, it always makes me happy 😋

I hope you like this<3 LOVE YOU💖💖💖💖

╚═════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘ ══════╝

You were working in the infirmary for the Task Force 141 and other units. You had proven yourself to be an indispensable asset to the team, healing their physical wounds and bringing warmth to their hearts. You were their favorite. They knew they could come to you running and you would catch them with open arms. Always having a smile on your face and shining brighter than all the stars combined. They were lucky to have someone motivated and happy medic like you.

However, it wasn't long before the demands of your new employer began to take a toll on your well-being. The team noticed the exhaustion etched in the lines of your face, the dark circles under your eyes and the way you pushed yourself beyond your limits, even working during sick days. They noticed how you slowly lost your smile as each day passed and you started to look like you hadn’t slept for weeks. This started to worry the boys since they weren’t used to this side of you.

Kyle was the first to speak up, concern lacing his voice. "I think that you've been pushing yourself too hard. It's okay to take a break sometimes, you know?" he said softly.

You attempted to brush off his worry with a smile, but it couldn't hide the weariness in your eyes. "I'm fine, really" you replied, trying to convince yourself as much as you tried to convince him. He looked sad and you could read it off of his face. You healed his wound and told him to not overwork himself. Oh how bad he wanted to say that you shouldn’t either. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to provoke you.

It didn’t take too long until Simon entered the room. You turn to look at him and give him a smile but he couldn’t feel your smile to his heart like he usually would. Whenever you smiled at him, it felt like the whole world was smiling at him. But today he didn’t feel like the whole world was smiling at him.

Simon leaned forward, making it hard for you to not look at him, yet his voice gentle was stern. "You're not fine" he said, his piercing blue eyes meeting yours. "We can see it, I can see it, and it's not worth risking your health for us" you couldn’t look at him any longer so you looked down, not answering him. From outside, you and Simon could hear the new employee yell at you to come and do something instead of just sitting. Without looking back, you turned around and got out of your room, leaving Simon alone. And he was holding him back from snapping at the newbie to fuck off.

John Price, the wise captain of the Task Force came around a day later and greeted you with a warm smile he had saved. Just for you.

"How is my favorite medic?" he asked and you gave him a warm smile. Or let’s say you tried. "You lost weight, Y/N. I‘m worried you’re not doing fine. Anything you wanna talk about?" he stated, causing you to look at yourself and then back at him. "No sir. I‘m working out at home. That’s probably why." you reply, desperately trying to close the conversation but he doesn’t let you.

"What’s with your eyes then? Why do they look so tired if you’re okay?" he hits a spot in your heart and the tears are threatening you to fall any second. "I watched a sad movie last night. Still hurts. That’s all. Anything else captain?" your voice id trembling. You hope he says no and leaves because if he doesn’t, he will get to see you cry in front of him. And you don’t want him to see that.

"Come here" he opens his arms and hugs you tightly. You can’t help but let the tears fall down your eyes and ruin the makeup you put on to cover the dark circles around your eyes. "It’s okay. You just need a rest. Please take a few days off, for yourself. You need to rest Sweetheart."

You hesitated, torn between your dedication to the team and the need to care for yourself. But you know that if you leave, you’re gonna have to work harder because of the new doctor around here.

As the days passed, the team grew increasingly worried as they saw the toll that constant work was taking on you. Your body was showing clear signs of exhaustion and the concern in their eyes intensified.

Again, kyle entered the med bay, a determined look in his eyes. "Y/N" he said, his voice unwavering, "I know you've been neglecting your own well-being, but we won't let you do it anymore."

He revealed a small cut on his arm, deliberately made. "If you won't take care of yourself," he continued, "I'll have to take care of you."

In that moment, the weight of his worry and love for you became too much to bear. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, finally allowing yourself to accept their care and concern.

With the help of the team, Price had a conversation with your boss behind your back and reported what’s going on and ensured that you were given a few days off to rest. The boys rallied around you, bringing you snacks, food and making sure you stayed hydrated.

Simon spoke up with a grin, "Hey there doc." he said playfully "have a whole team to take care of you now."

A genuine smile graced your lips as you felt the warmth of their care surrounding you. "Thank you" you said softly.

Johnny clapped you on the shoulder. "We're a team" he said, his voice filled with camaraderie "and can we take care of our own. And of you. That’s the least we can do"

In the days that followed, you finally allowed yourself to rest, your body and soul. The boys were there every step of the way, ensuring you got the rest and care you needed.

You were thankful to whoever was listening to you. They were family to you and whenever you needed someone, they were there for you. It’s the least they can do and pay off the times you overworked so they were doing fine. And now they are taking care of you until you stand up again and send them to bed to rest.

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maxsix · 5 months

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Favourite KPOP Songs of 2023

So I am 3 days late posting this but I wanted to do it to keep up the tradition. It's fun looking back at old lists. My criteria isn't so much based on technical merit but rather the songs that I wanted to listen to over and over again for whatever reason.

Cupid by Fifty Fifty. No doubt, this is social media's song of the year. I have never seen a song that is actually good become so organically viral, only to be reduced to absolutely nothing because of abysmal management. Not even New Jeans was this widespread this year (to me). Cupid was playing at my local supermarket and even people who know nothing about kpop loved this song. It ranks low for me because I'm definitely sick of hearing it by now. Regardless, it is still a very well written pop song.

Ayo by NCT 127. Okay, hear me out: NCT is like durian. You either completely understand why it is called the King of Fruits or you think I should be put in jail for saying that. If you are a brave connoisseur who refuses to be confined by societal pressure, then know what it's like to open your third eye and consume NCT for what they are: completely weird but never boring. It's an experience. If you don't get it, I don't know what to tell you.

Tinnitus by TXT. Temptation is my least favourite TXT album from the last 3 years but I think that is mostly due to how much I hated Sugar Rush Ride. I've been re-listening to a lot of their material again and okay, I'll give this one a pass: it's a mood. Thanks Kang Taehyun. I don't know if it was very intentional but his voice is all I hear on the final version. Man, that dude's voice always gets me somehow, I don't know how he does it.

Rover by Kai. It's not even that good of a song and yet, it was everywhere and I was gaslit into liking it. The viral dance made it the hit it became but to be fair, much of this was really down to his star power and ability to make really good choices that suit his strengths (dance first, vocals second). This is EXO Kai we are talking about after all; when he delivers, he really delivers. New Gen boys can take some notes.

Drama by Aespa. This is like Asian Junk Food. It's objectively so terrible, full of empty calories, no nutritional value but they took the Terrible and sprinkled MSG on it, so now it's TastyTerrible. As someone who wants to learn film editing, the MV is excellent and an example of top tier editing without choppy cuts. I have not noticed editing this neat and time consuming since Seventeen's 'HOT'.

Back To Me by The Rose. A group with solid talent and well written songs. I wish every success for them to be honest. I am posting the live video because they are one of those groups who are better live and won't give you The Fear watching it. I wish I could've seen them because I genuinely just love their voices and sound. They've filled the void left behind by Day 6.

Hard by Shinee. It's just your typical weird and perfect Shinee pop song but with a distinctly 90s flavour in my opinion. They are just all so talented that it's virtually impossible to ignore them. SM production is always so slick but with Shinee it is something to gild the lily rather than hard carry the entire song and group. Onew vocals never takes a day off, he was flawless even in the raw recordings.

Kitsch by IVE. It's just so cute and comforting in the way a harmless little pop song can be. It's like a fresh breeze. There's no pressure to do anything but enjoy it. In the absence of Blackpink, they are definitely my favourite girl group at the moment.

This World by Ateez. I do actually prefer it to Bouncy because it has that dystopian and almost gothic feel to it. I don't think it would've made a good title track because it's not as explosive as Bouncy but it 100% would fit into a movie or montage sequence. It absolutely goes so hard in the car, especially at night.

Flower by Jisoo. I think this was just a very smart choice for her and her team. It did not have anything too complex or overly dramatic. It suits her elegance and brand perfectly. It was also very pleasant and kinda of prettily boring? The dance was very popular and cute without being obnoxious. She is very much a Great Gowns Beautiful Gowns and "Go on girl, give us nothing!" idol but I have a soft spot for her. I can't believe we live in a world where Jisoo has the best Blackpink solo song.

3D (Alternate Version) by Jungkook. I did not like it when it was released (with that awful rap feature) but the purely Jungkook and performance versions of it really improved everything. I am really happy that Golden is as good as it is, because I think most Jungkook stans from 2013 lived in fear he would only release Mid Tier pop songs. I think most features on the album are unnecessary. Jungkook has presence and star power on his own. Everything else diluted what we all came for.

Blue Blood by IVE. It's an unexpectedly more mature sound from them and I loved it. I think the driving backing track makes this one of the best driving songs. It has this dark eloquence to it, which I always vibe with. One of their best B sides for sure.

Off The Record by IVE. This was the best track off their album this year. That title track was heinous. OTR was so calm and comforting and there is something about it that reminded me of Gfriend and OhMyGirl where it's just a good song with any histrionics. I do not think IVE suit that bad girl crush concept at all. They always had this expensive High Teen aura and it really took at hit with Baddie imo.

Ring (Unplugged/Acoustic Version) by TXT. This isn't cheating, they released this one on a July 2023 album. Even if it was cheating, I would've still put it on here. It's well written, well produced, well paced and suits everyone in the group. But personally, I always saw this as a Kang Taehyun song (even though he didn't even write it). His aura is all over it. Controversial opinion but I think this has one of Yeonjun's best rap verses because the slower tempo works so much better for his voice and flow.

Crazy Form by Ateez. Ah the Male version of Junk Food with MSG. I don't think it's anywhere near their best song but it's a good fun time and after the tough year(s) we have all had, it's nice to jam to something silly. It's very SKZ adjacent but in my opinion, with much better production and editing because the team behind Ateez are better at it. I'm also including this because it made me really see Jeong Yunho. If you know you know.

Roll With Me by Hyungwon/Shownu. Technically The H/S version of Wildfire is my favourite from them this year but since it wasn't official, I'll go with my second favourite release. It once again proves that Hyungwon is my favourite man (musically) in Monsta X. I like his style, tastes and instincts. It's true that he is my overall favourite in MX but I'm mature now! It's not just the visuals, I truly put his musical output as the number 1 reason I like him.

Standing Next To You by Jungkook. Listen, listen, listen.....I have been following this dude since 2013. I always KNEW he could give more and be more. Even though SNTY isn't even 100% of what I think he can do, it was enough for me to feel all these 10 years were not wasted lol. This deserved this stop purely for the instrumentation and production value alone. Granted, it is very westernised but good music is good music. This is the only time where a feature (remix) actually added something.

Silver Light by Ateez. The sister to Cyberpunk. It is really like its title: a sparkling God Ray of light that cuts through the darkness. It's mysterious but also so hopeful and comforting. They just scraped in with this at the last minute but it is already one of my absolutely favourite Ateez songs. Instant love from 1st listen. The type of song I wish I was more conscious and present for so I could go back to experience it again for the first time. Park Seonghwa supremacy because this is now a song I associate with him. He's not even my Ateez bias but he is my favourite and the most important Ateez member to me. How that works, I do not know.

My favourite song of 2023:

Chasing That Feeling by TXT. They achieved the trifecta in 2023 for me: favourite song, favourite lyric, favourite choreography. I'm not even going to link to the official MV because the choreography needs to be seen unobstructed and undiluted. This is the type of song that I barely have any critiques on (and if I did, they would all be minor). The type of song that I would put as my bio. The type of song I want my best friend to play at my funeral. This era was also the one that pushed Choi Soobin into my life when he knew damm well that my heart has been closed for business for the last 12 months. The power this song had on me was all consuming and cannot be overstated, ok?

#favourite songs of the year #top 2023 kpop songs #there are a lot of songs i liked but don't listen to a lot #i don't think any of this is a surprise #i'm a nice friendly pop girl now i promise #ateez #txt #tomorrow x together #exo kai #aespa #nct #5050 #jungkook #ive #monsta x

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pebiejeebies · 8 months

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Soo I wanna talk about my (possibly) chronic illness, because I’m so tired of this.

My reason to self diagnose: I have to self diagnose, my dad doesn’t believe in “disorders and disabilities (specifically ones like chronic illness, he normalized it in such a horrific way, it made me feel like I was an odd one out when I realized how healthy everyone else is)” *please don’t hate him, we don’t have money for much things anyways, it’s fine*

If you hate self diagnosis, just leave and spare both of us,

For now I wanna talk about what makes me feel like I have chronic illness, and that is literally being sick, I’ll be generally talking about everything painful/tiring that has been affecting me for over a year now..

TW: Mentions self harm/hate, gore, of gag/spit/vomit, dizziness, unease, etc. if you are sensitive to this topic please read at your own risk,,

Let’s start, so lately ive been accidentally swallowing mucus, all day, all night, to the point I have to breathe from my mouth, which COMPLETELY destroys my smell and taste. Especially when I get the common cold..

Barely any mucus comes from my nose, it’s almost ALWAYS my throat and saliva, to the point I started to think my saliva and mucus have been completely combined now. Like.. literally.

my breath always stinks, minty tastes really sucks and I hate toothpaste, I hate the mint and the texture, I’ve tried some things like these little bottles of meds for the cold, but they NEVER worked.

I almost always have a headache, my heartbeat has went from my normal 60/70bpm to 90/120 min/max.. and I always get voice changes, sometimes too deep, sometimes too high, and sometimes I lose my voice.

AND YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY?! I LOVE SINGING. ITS LITERALLY MY SPECIALTY, MY ONLY TALENT THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT ABANDONING IT LIKE THE REST OF MY FAILED TALENTS, AND IT FUCKING SUCKS SO MUCH WHEN MY VOICE CHANGES.

I’m sorry.

back to my point, when I cry, I feel like my mucus explodes from everywhere, my throat, nose, eyes, and when I blow my nose too hard it hurts my ears for a while.

I’m so tired, I can barely run, I don’t wanna say I have asthma, but maybe I’m just not energetic and lazy.. or something.. and I CANT. I repeat.. I CANT. SLEEP.

It’s almost physically impossible (unless I stay up for too long to the point I slowly faint to sleep, which has been normal now for me)

did I mention my constipation? (Maybe this isn’t related, I’m just curious what makes someone chronically ill, especially since I’ve had constipation for around a year now)

I can’t sleep, smell, sing, cry (I hate crying so much, it’s become so terrifying and horrible) laugh, (cause all the mucus chokes me and makes me gag and almost vomit.

oh how I wish I could just rip out my throat and replace my nose and throat for a working one. How I wish I could breathe normally, to smell, to sing properly, to walk properly without my legs hurting or straining, to laugh and cry without choking and gagging, spitting mucus in the bathroom for what seems like 30 minutes, to think properly without a headache, to feel NORMAL again. It’s been a year or two now. Cant I just feel like a normal person again?

God why do I turn everything into a fucking vent.

Edit: does this mean I am chronically ill?

#I’m slowly losing myself #and my headache is killing me #you guys are the only people who can help #I’m so sick of myself #I don’t want to cry #chronic #chronic ill #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic disability #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #Chronically fatigue #chronically in pain #vent #im tired

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pb-dot · 10 months

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Film Friday: The Matrix

There really wasn't any doubt in my mind over what movie I was going to cover next in my Film Friday series. I did briefly consider a number of movies, but there was really only one I could go for if I was honest with myself. When asked the dreaded question of what my favorite movie is, I often ask, as a clarifying question if they mean favorite as in the one I enjoy the most, the one I think is the most skillfully made, or the most important to me as a person. If the answer is the latter, I invariably say it is today's movie: The Matrix.

So, what is it that makes this movie so important to me? Part of it is no doubt that it came out when I was young, and fate saw to it that I managed to see this R-rated piece of heady hyperviolence a few years before I was perhaps supposed to. It was given an age rating of 15 in my country, and I first saw it as a pre-teen.

The movie blew my mind back then, there's no two ways about it. The late 90's punky rave/cyber aesthetics and the soft-focus worn-out humanity of the postapocalyptic real world, the absolutely mind-bending action scenes of hand-to-hand and gunplay combat, and special effects that defined the entire following generation of action movies. The Matrix had it all, and it was also one of the first movies I had seen that made me think.

I've always been a ruminator, prone to pondering and thoughts that may charitably be described as philosophical, and The Matrix gave me a reference point and language to talk about it to my peers. Yeah, sure, most of my classmates didn't give a single hoot about the difference between what is perceived as real and what is real, but through the tale of Thomas Anderson awakening to the falseness of his reality as his hacker alias Neo, I had an in to talk about some of that stuff. The Matrix wasn't quite the phenomenon in my neck of the woods as I'm told it was elsewhere, so my inability to care about team sports was still a major albatross around my neck of course.

Now, if The Matrix was merely important to me as a child, that would fail to account for the sheer importance this movie has to me, even to this day. A further slice of the pie can be accounted for if I were to take my nascent crushes on Keanu Reeves, it would take more than a decade to realize the nature of this, and Carrie-Anne Moss, the nature of which became apparent to me considerably earlier. There is, however, more.

The part of me that's more of a nerd about technical filmmaking stuff than emotional impact when it comes to movies wants to take this moment to talk about the pacing and structure of The Matrix. Put plainly, this is just about the perfect Hero's Journey flick. People come back to Star Wars Episode IV, but for my money it doesn't have beans on The Matrix. Neo's journey maps just about perfectly onto the threshold-crossing, helpers and mentors, challenges and temptations, death and rebirth, transformation and attonement, the entire package. While following essentially Hollywood's favorite story recipe perfectly might not seem like a great achievement, The Matrix is really the strongest argument for using the formula to lend the story profoundly mythological feel.

It is no accident, I suspect, that reading into the christian symbolism of The Matrix became such a popular topic in the aughts that it, at least according to several anecdotes, was banned in many film litteracy classes mostly because the teachers and professors were sick of reading about it. I will, however, say that the most salient reading to me is the queer one.

In short, the readings of the film has tipped somewhat from the "Kung Fu Jesus"-read that was popular in the 00's to being viewed more as a trans allegory, in part thanks to both of it's directors coming out as openly trans since its release. There certainly is much to recommend this reading, the focus on found family and self-chosen names, the antagonist's purposeful use of Neo's given name, what we would today be calling deadnaming, and so on. The ambigiously gendered character Switch was reportedly also intended to have a different gender in the matrix and out of it, as their "Residual Self Image" did not match their physical body, sadly this turned out to be too spicy for late 90's Warner Broothers and so that idea was cut.

I do agree that a lot of the parts that make The Matrix stand out in my mind can be read as inspired by the lived experiences of its writer/directors The Wachowskis. I would, however, argue that a slightly wider reading as a story of queer awakening might describe the movie more accurately than a strictly trans story, but do keep in mind I say that as a cis bi guy, so it only stands to reason that the themes of queerness would resonate more with me.

With that awareness of my own biases achknowledged though, there is something deeply queer about Neo's awakening into the real world. As Thomas Anderson, he is driven to self-destructive acts by a resounding feeling of wrongness with the world he knows. Thomas is searching, both in the fringes of what he percieves of the physical world, and the open frontier of the internet, for answers that can soothe his worries.

What answer eventually finds him changes his entire reality. As Neo, he lives a life that is more dangerous and more separated from what he used to call the real world than ever before, but it is, in a fundamental sense, real. Meaningful relationship can happen there. There's room for tenderness, for jokes, for genuine cameraderie with others who are in his situation or something very close to it. This all reminds me an awful lot of the 1990 Clive Barker film Nightbreed in this regard. Neo doesn't take to it right away, his social senses, like his eyes and muscles, are weak because he has never actually used them before, but everyone who's there with him has been through it and thus understands. Well, everyone except one asshole, but stories do need antagonists after all.

I feel like I've given this movie only the most cursory of discussions since I haven't even gotten around to discussing the movie's wuxia-inspired fight scenes, its take on fate and properchy, or the complicated legacy of a movie about outcasts fighting the system by employing truly staggering levels of violence on other people who aren't real people on the level of our heroes and as such are acceptable targets. Especially the last point feels like it needs some elaboration in an age that has made "our opponents aren't as human as we are" a popular dogwhistle when calling for violence as a political tool. Maybe I'll get to writing some on that one of these days, but for now I gotta stop putting every thought I've had about The Matrix in the last 15+ years into this post or I'll never get to the end of it.

So, with that in mind, if you haven't seen The Matrix yet, or haven't seen it in a while, give it a go. It's good, and probably gayer than you expect and/or remember.

#writing #peebs thinks #film friday #the matrix #carrie anne moss #keanu reeves

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coconoct · 9 months

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honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr

a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so

pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly

before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho

countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch

still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that

nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)

glb nocti's countdown

draw every char up to latest one in cn

a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now

basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely

will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things

ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.

if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀

pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked

theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol

#fbj rambles

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pawbeanies · 2 months

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mm, thinking about slowly getting you all pliant without you realizing. i could wake up early to make some cookies, as ive been craving them lately and i love to share, so i make more than enough for the both of us. in the morning, when you're done with breakfast, i hand you a cookie and get one for myself. only difference is that mine doesn't have chocolate chips in it and when you point it out, i just say that i don't like chocolate, so i made two batches: one with and one without. it's simple enough to be accepted, because i truly don't like chocolate chips, so you think nothing of it. later on, i notice you looking a bit dizzy, so i offer you another cookie and some juice. to get your blood sugar up, yknow? I'm your knight; I'm meant to take care of you. but what i notice is that you keep getting more and more slightly off balance and clumsy as the day goes on, so i keep offering the sugary snacks. after the first handful of times, i get concerned, asking if you're feeling sick or if you're overworking yourself. my highness clearly isn't feeling well, so i clear your schedule and bring you to your chambers to rest. at this point, you're already spacey and a bit loopy and just want to cuddle with your knight. i mean, who am i to refuse? so i cuddle up with you and put a movie on, the both of us snaking on the remaining cookies. and the whole time, I'm teasing you about how clingy you're getting, how whiny you are, how you're putting up less and less of a fight as time goes on. at some point during the movie, you lose your ability to speak entirely, only whines and mumbles coming from your mouth when you want something because your mind is just so so fuzzy. it's not until you're good and gone that i reveal your cookies had more than chocolate in them :3c. i mean, you've just been working so hard lately and you've been being such a good prince, so i decided that you need a break for a little to just spend time with me, getting pampered and adored and not thinking about anything else. not that you could think about anything, with how foggy your head is. but it's okay, because you've got me with you. isn't that right? my darling royal boy <3

hgh. you. yyyouuu. i need you to know i saw this while getting ready for work this morning and its been stuck in my brain since!!! lkke!!! the WHOLE day this is a new form of torture. mean. mean. mean. ...

whining whining my knight you BULLY .!!! why would i ever not take something from you. i trust you wholeheartedly and id never turn down a snack... especially choco?!?! you bully. you. you.

i think. id be a little worried if i'm out of it... clinging on you and relying on you a bit more than usual because i don't know why i feel so out of it. thankful for you when you clear my schedule and whisk me back to my room so we can snuggle...

mean. whining all stupid and crawling into your lap while you talk about what you did because i get clingy and needy. not even registering what you're saying while i snuggle up against you... burying my face in your neck and nuzzling into it and maybe even leaving some kisses while being all silly. when my head is fuzzy like that i get much more open and touchy and needy. i think i'd be kind of a handful honestly but could you blame me ??? when my dearest bravest strongest most loyal knight is treating me so well??

gh. actually i would like this one a lot. please? please? how many times can i say please before it sounds pathetic gksjfksf. please get me high and pamper me and we can snuggle and eat snacks and watch movies... preferable to doing work really

#asks..?!?!?!#🌹 anon #also there were in fact. choco chip cookies at the office today and i ate one going like ......... wauh...#snacking on some even though theyre Too sweet and make my teeth ache. for immersion. you bully #this one is too good ... needy... whining at you dumb and pathetic #how can i say no to snacks fr....... bully......#also its ok i will eat all the chocolate chip things for you......#please get me pliant and mushy please ..........

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