#They’re fine but they’re totally overrated by america | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littledonkeyburrito · 7 years

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I need to start coming up with more creative titles for these.

Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? Not that I’m aware of, but there’s a couple of people that I’ve made out with and never seen shirtless, so who knows

What about a lip piercing? No

Nose piercing? I don’t think so

Did you sleep alone last night? Yep

How are you sitting? Cross legged on the couch

Where is your family? Probably in their respective homes

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? Always

What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Sleeping

Waiting for something? A call back from any of the companies I’ve sent resumes to

How many people did you kiss last summer? I think it was only one actually, but there was a couple more that were summer adjacent.

Was yesterday terrible? Yesterday was fine

Did you reject or accept your last friend request? I accepted it but I probably shouldn’t have bc tbh I think she’ll get pretty annoying on my facebook (ex work colleague)

Do you like pretzels? They’re fine but they’re totally overrated by america

Do you wait until you’ve completely finished a certain makeup product before you buy a new one? I don’t buy makeup products

Would you say that people consider you a major flirt? I don’t know. You would have to ask “people”

Do any of your friends have children? Not yet

If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, how long have you been together? I do not

Did you wake up before 8 AM this morning? I sure as fuck did not.

Do you wear eyeliner? Nah

Whose wall have you wrote on today? Nobody

Would you rather cry in public or make someone else cry in public? Neither, both are super awkward for me

Would you rather sleep for 3 days or stay awake for 3 days?   I feel like I’ve done both before. Depending on what I’m doing, both have their pros and cons

Would you rather be just rich or rich and famous? Just rich

Who will you be sleeping with tonight? Nobody

Last person to make you laugh? The internet

Do you look at older pictures and laugh? Depends on the picture

When will your next kiss be? no idea

Have you ever truly thought you knew who you were going to marry? No

Do you have anything that belongs to a partner or an ex partner? No

What would you say if someone told you they were in love with your sister? That I don’t have a sister

Has anyone called you babe or baby in the last two days? No, I’m not sure anyone’s called me that ever and I’d prefer it stay that way

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed? Currently waiting to see how long it’ll take him to message me first for once. So, kinda I guess

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to be in your bedroom?   Um well technically my apartment is a studio and my landlord was here like 20 minutes ago so I guess it was him. But the last dude to go in the actual bedroom area was the guy who stayed with me a few weekends ago from Madrid.

Did you see your best friend today? No. We live on different continents

Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Just the one in each ear

If you wear skirts, are you more likely to wear leggings, or go bare? I don’t wear skirts

Are you addicted to texting? No, but I do prefer to message at least one friend every day

How many times do you knock on the door? I don’t. I stand outside and text them and wait for them to open it.

If you could move somewhere else, would you? Well I’ve sent a couple of resumes to companies in Panama and if I get offered a good job with a decent salary then I’ll definitely consider moving there.

Did you kiss or hug anyone recently? No

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? Not since I left Australia. Was a pretty common occurrence there with my job though. The worst was when I was really tired but had to take the work phone home with me and one of my staff would call just after I’d fallen asleep and I’d still be confused as fuck when I answer but have to try to play it cool and not let them know they woke me up. Was even worse when it was a client calling...

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? No..?

Is there someone you will never forget? Many people

Can you live a day without TV? Yeah

Do you swallow gum when you’re done with it? I don’t like chewing gum

Any plans for this weekend? Nope

Have you seen anyone lately that you don’t get along with? No. There’s nobody that I don’t really get along with, especially not in this country.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with that’s not family? I think the last time I was in a car was my transfer to the airport in panama. I don’t have a car here and nobody I know has a car. I always just walk or get the metro. I don’t even usually get cabs here.

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nah

Is there anything stressing you out currently? My bank balance is gradually getting lower and lower and I don’t have a job yet.

What kind of mood are you in today? Average. Not happy, not sad

How late did you stay up last night and why? Maybe 10 or 11. I was pretty tired from doing nothing all day

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? I think the longest I ever actually slept with him was like 4 hours. Always had to go sneak back into my room before anyone woke up.

Are you mad at anyone? No

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No

What is the name of the last band you discovered? Not a band but I came across Alvaro Soler and I really like his music

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? No thankyou

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? The sheets are white. The doona is white with blue diamond patterns on it

Are your days full and fast-paced? Only when I travel

Do you call any of your friends by their last name? Yeah, my old flatmate usually goes by his last name. Made it a little weird when he had family visiting because I could either 1) refer to him by his first name, or 2) use his last name and have everybody he’s related to turn around and look at me

Have you ever gotten lost in a department store? El Corte Ingles. The floors are too big. I usually end up giving up which isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it’s kind of expensive there.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? A few years I guess. I don’t remember when I bought it

Are you a slut? Depends on definition

What happened last time you got drunk? I drank beer with people from the office and then I went back to their apartment which was kind of like a staff apartment and a couple of the bosses lived there too. Drank some more beer, did some cocaine, patted a dog and cut my thumb on a beer can.

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? I don’t think I ever have. My hair is pretty straight on its own.

What do you want right this second? I wouldn’t mind a glass of coke

What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? Sleeping

What cell phone company do you use? Vodafone

Do you wear a bath robe? No

Do you know anyone autistic? Yeah, a few

How about someone bipolar? I think so

What do you want your job to be when you’re older? Please offer me suggestions because I have no fucking idea

What are you listening to? Nothing in particular

Does the last person you texted smoke pot? Idk. Probably, a lot of people here do bc it’s legal. He’s my landlord though so it’s not like he’s going to tell me that information

What did you wear to bed last night? My pyjamas

Who’s in the room with you? Just me

Have you ever liked someone older than you? They’re generally older than me

Do you like men with beards and goatees? Stubble is goooood. Depends on the guy though

Where do you live? Spain

Do you always lock your door? Yes. It auto-locks anyway, but I deadbolt it too.

Do you smoke cigarettes? No

Is your birthday in a winter month? In Australia, yes. Here, no.

Do you have siblings over the age of 21? Yes.

What is the last letter of your middle name? L

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? I skipped plenty of lectures at uni in favour of sleep. Probably a contributing factor to the failing of classes and dropping out.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yep

When was the last time you were told you were cute? Probably in Panama

Do you like Chinese food? Yes. The food when I was travelling in China was insanely good.

Have you ever trusted a guy when you shouldn’t have? Yeah I guess so

Do you have a brother? What’s his name? Sam

What time is it? 7:44pm

Is your phone close to you? It is under my left thigh (almost my buttcheek) so I can feel if anyone messages me.

What woke you up this morning? I suppose I had enough sleep

When did you last use a straw? I have no idea but you just reminded me that I bought straws recently and haven’t used any yet so I’m gonna start drinking my alcohol with straws now. Well, not right now bc I don’t want to drink tonight, but whenever I next drink at home I’ll use one.

Have you ever driven without a license? I originally learned to drive in a Mini Moke in my Dad’s backyard (he had 3 acres) when I was maybe 10 years old. So obvs I didn’t have a licence then. Also the brakes in the car didn’t work so we basically had to make sure the dogs weren’t near us

What color shirt are you wearing? Grey. With a red/black checked hoodie over it

Do you have a ceiling fan located in your bedroom? No

What are you most looking forward to tomorrow? My life is super boring so the only thing I’m doing tomorrow is going to the post office to pick up whatever I was left a slip for.

Have you cuddled with someone today? No

Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No

Do you use the toilet paper with the colorful designs on it? I use the cheapest toilet paper that doesn’t feel like sandpaper. I’m not going to pay extra for colourful designs when I’m literally just going to wipe my ass with it.

What was the first thing you ate today? Spicy noodles

Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? No

Have you set an alarm today? No

Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? I don’t. I made a decision during a low point a few years ago to cut negative things out of my life. So I unfollowed a bunch of people on tumblr and I stopped keeping up with news because it was just making me depressed. Occasionally I google to see what’s up with my province and that’s about it. Otherwise I see what I really need to see on facebook/tumblr.

When was the last time you visited relatives? I visited my dad a few days before I left Australia

Is chapstick a necessity for you? Sometimes, yes. But if I stay hydrated enough then it’s not really an issue.

Name the last 6 people you texted/messaged:

Gabriel

João

Maggie @aturinfortheworse

Aman

Anna @intimidatethevoid

Bear

(this is a slightly unusual bunch since only half of them are people I regularly message)

How did you meet #3? Highschool

What’s #6’s middle name? No idea

Who have you known the longest out of your 6? Maggie

Who have you known the least out of your 6? Anna

How do you know #5? Through the group chat we’re in with Maggie and Bear

Where does #1 live? Somewhere nearby. I don’t know exactly

Is #1 your best friend? No, he’s my landlord

Who on your 6 doesn’t have a job? Maggie I think..? Not sure about Bear and Anna. Also not 100% sure on João

Does #5 have their drivers license? I believe so

Would you ever live with #2? Lmao I almost do. He’s my next door neighbour.

Why did you text #4? Because he messaged me first so I replied obvs

Do you miss #3? Yeah, come to Spain you loser

Is #6 a stoner or alchie? Not anymore I don’t think

Have you ever danced with #2? No, I’ve met him like twice for us to pay our bills (our apartments run off the same metre for water and electricity)

Have you ever done anything sexual with any of them? Well Aman is my ex so yeah

What would your life be like without #1? I would probably live somewhere else

Is #2 your best friend? No

What do you love about #3? So many things

What do you dislike about #3? So many things. (kidding)

What is #5’s weakness? Difficulty sleeping?

What kind of car does #4 drive? I remember it’s a little black sedan but I don’t remember what type of car it actually is

What would you do if #3 & #6 were dating? Uhhh nothing probably. I’d be surprised but they’re both good people so I’d let them go for it.

Does #2 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No idea

Have you ever seen #1 cry? Fuck no that would be weird

Have you ever kept a secret from #5? No

What is something special about #4? He’s very attractive.

Does #2 have any special talents? No idea

In one word, describe #6. Teddy

Has anyone in your top 6 hurt you? Who? Uhh no..?

Have you ever fought with #6? No

Is #1 a musician? Not that I’m aware of

How old is #4? He’s 27

Would you ever kiss #5 (if you haven’t already)? Probs not, soz bro

#Maybe I should take the most out of context quote from my answers and use that as the title #yeah I might start doing that #this one would be #They’re fine but they’re totally overrated by america #The floors are too big #It is under my left thigh (almost my buttcheek)#Also the brakes in the car didn’t work #I’m not going to pay extra for colourful designs when I’m literally just going to wipe my ass with it #These are all valid potential titles

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themculibrary · 2 years

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Other Avengers Looking After Peter Masterlist 2

part one

5 Times an Avenger (or two) Looked Out For Peter (ao3) - Fangirl_Disaster G, 24k

Summary: +1 time they all did.

Just as the title says. The Avengers looking after Peter Parker because he is their spider-baby.

5 Times Peter Parker Saved an Avenger (ao3) - petreparkour T, 21k

Summary: ...and the one time they saved him.

ain’t no sunshine (ao3) - bridiesmindsludge G, 2k

Summary:

“Spidey! Where you at?” It’s Sam Wilson’s voice calling for him. He wants to shout for him, to alert him that he was here, but all that came out were gurgles of blood and saliva. He was aching all over, the pain flowing through him in waves. Any second, he would be dead. “Parker!” The voice was closer. He was going to be okay. Okay. “Oh, God, Parker--” Sam’s voice above him sounded fearful as his hands hover over his chest. “Come on, kid, stay with me--”

and if you had a bad week (ao3) - toosicktoocare T, 1k

Summary: Prompt: “If you don’t mind doing this? Maybe Bucky and Steve have an apartment, and Steve invites Peter over, not expecting the teen to get super sick?”

babysit a god; babysit a spider (ao3) - carefulren T, 4k

Summary: the one where sick Peter's left behind from a mission to watch over Loki, but Loki ends up having to watch over him

Domestic Avengers (ao3) - denyingmyselfalways T, 12k

Summary: Even without looking she could feel his star-struck grin. No wonder Tony had become all parental. That mini spider had him wrapped around his finger. He might have them all wrapped around his little finger pretty soon. And Natasha realized that she didn’t think she would mind if he did.

Or: how Peter managed to get every single Avenger to become uber-protective of him and practically become his parents.

Lethal (ao3) - Emily_F6 T, 2k

Summary: The kid insisted that the bullet just grazed him. But that was all it took.

Of ALL The Possible Scenarios (ao3) - Ri (miniminis_ri) G, 1k

Summary: Rhodey decides to take a walk around the streets of Queens when he meets one Peter Parker. Only, Parker is sporting a pretty bad stab wound in the back of an ally.

One Of Those Nights (ao3) - OofBoost T, 3k

Summary: Peter Parker’s night takes a turn when a bullet manages its way to his abdomen. Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Steve Rogers do everything in their power to help him. It’s just like any other night, right?

peter’s stars (ao3) - IronPengu, parkrstark T, 175k

Summary: Steve and Peter lose their apartment and are kicked out on the streets. Steve has to juggle between jobs to earn whatever money he can, take care of his son while resfusing to let him realize how much they’re trouble in, and keep them warm and safe on the city streets in winter.

So, he really doesn’t have time to date the billionaire that flirts with him everyday as he buys his cup of coffee. Even if he did, he can’t let himself fall for the man. Because if he knew that he lived from a backpack and showered in a public bathroom there’s no way he’d still want him…right?

Playing the fool (ao3) - Builder T, 1k

Summary: Being sick at a party is never fun. Especially when everyone in attendance is a superhero.

shelter also gave their shade (ao3) - Mellaithwen T, 4k

Summary: Injured after his final battle with the Vulture, Peter Parker gets some unexpected help.

“As if anything would’a kept you away from that beach.” Captain America scoffs. “Brooklyn’s ours, Buck. Besides, we look after our own.”

The Archer and the Spider (fanfiction.net) - Beauty In Her Darkness T, 12k

Summary: No one in their right mind would let Clint babysit Peter, which Clint himself would tell you. So Clint had to ask himself how on Earth he ended up sitting in the Avengers Facility, waiting for a certain web-slinging hero to climb in through the window and why he always ended up patching up reckless young heroes.

The Babysitter (ao3) - EideticGenius G, 1k

Summary: Peter is totally fine. One hundred percent. Superheroes don't get sick. Besides, a fever is just an overrated hot flush, right?

The Secrets That We Keep (ao3) - samandbucky T, 10k

Summary:

In which Clint has never told any of the Avengers, not even Natasha, about his son Peter. His sister Laura is the only person he’s ever told, trusted. Clint has only ever wanted to protect his son, to keep him safe from harm. But, when the accords come around, things get a little complicated. And Clint finds out that he’s not the only one keeping secrets.

Wingman (ao3) - sahiya G, 4k

Summary: Holy shit, Rhodey thought. Tony’s a dad.

#themculibrary #peter parker #the avengers #peter parker masterlist #masterlists

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ogcassiopeia · 4 years

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M+M Answers Kpop Questions

1. Which group have you thought about stanning, but never seem to get around to it?

I’ve essentially only ever stanned TVXQ and never deviated from that but I could totally see myself stanning Shinee or Monsta X.

2. Do you have any irl friends that like kpop?

It depends on what you mean by irl. As of right now, I only have one irl friend, who lives in Canada, that enjoys kpop as much as I do. We met back in the early 2000s when both her and I were massively into TVXQ. She moved on to stanning BTS after TVXQ broke up but she still loves TVXQ and we talk about kpop and other life happenings often. The kpop friend I had here physically in my town with me eventually moved to a different city and we lost contact a few years ago. I am not even sure if she still enjoys kpop or not.

3. How old were you when you first got into kpop?

Oh gosh…I think I was 13 at the time.

4. What song(s) took you a while to warm up to?

A lot of f(x)’s earlier stuff like Nu Abo and Chu as at the time when they came out I found them to be grating and irritating. Most girl group songs take me a while to get into since I am more of a boy group kind of kpop fan.

5. Have you ever disliked a group/idol? If so, why? (You don’t have to say who it is if you’re scared of getting hate).

I wouldn’t say I dislike or hate a lot of kpop singers/groups but I would say I am either just not a fan of their personalities and/or their work. For girl groups, I especially am not a fan of BlackPink, Red Velvet or Girls Generation. I like one of two of their songs, but I find their voices irritating and feel like their talents are limited. I do feel this way about some boy bands too…but the one I do not care for is one that I may regret speaking ill of due to their fanbase.

6. What annoys you the most about kpop?

As of right now, it would be the fans. There seems to be constant harassment of people, celebrities or other fans who have differing opinions. Just let people like who they like and hate who they hate. What does it matter if they don’t agree with you? If you like the boy group/girl group/solo singer GREAT...leave it at that. You don’t need to harass or bully someone else into liking your faves.

7. What do you love the most about kpop?

The music. It brings diversity and color into my consumed media and it’s just generally enjoyable pop music fluff that I do not get from American media.

8. Do you only listen to kpop?

Nope. I listen to all kinds of music outside of kpop.

9. Who are you favorite western artists (if you have any)?

Paperwhite, The Band CAMINO, The 1975, Bad Suns, Lennon Stella, LEON, ASTR, Ralph, The Midnight

10. How long have you been into kpop?

Since 2003…so it’s been a while…17 years or so. (P.S. I am old and boring.)

11. What music did you used to listen to before getting into kpop?

Mostly American pop music, J-pop, J-rock and indie-pop.

12. What fandom(s) were you in before getting into kpop? Are you still in them?

I was super into anime and manga back then…I was a part of the Sailor Moon fandom and I still love me some Sailor Moon. I also really loved the Backstreet Boys and still do…I am going to their concert in August (as long as it doesn’t get cancelled due to coronavirus)!

13. Which group did you used to think was overrated but ended up loving?

Shinee

14. Is there a kpop song that annoys you? If so, which one?

Uhm…there are a lot of them. Some of the songs I find annoying are: I’ve Got A Boy + Oh! + Kissing You – Girls Generation, I Don’t Know What To Do – BlackPink, Everyday – WINNER, Snapping – Chungha, Dog and Cat – TXT, Seventh Sense - NCT (I am sorry to all of you who may love those songs)

15. What aspects of kpop make you cringe/feel secondhand embarrassment?

The Aegyo and overly cutesy, child-like concepts that girl groups always seem to have to participate in. Even though I know it comes from cultural differences in sexual attractiveness (I lived in Japan for years...I’ve seen it first hand), it still just creeps me out. I don’t like it in J-pop either, btw.

16. Which concepts do you love?

I LOVE dark, sexy, horror-like concepts that have been used by groups like VIXX and Dreamcatcher. I also love slick, retro themed songs based in the swing/jazz age (Something or Spellbound – TVXQ) or 80s nostalgia (I Feel You – The Wonder Girls).

17. Which concepts do you hate?

Anything overly aegyo or cutesy.

18. If you could trade places with an idol, who would it be?

I would totally love to be in Shim Changmin’s shoes….being part of an idol group considered gods in the kpop realm.

19. What do you look for in a bias?

(1) Intelligence, (2) Sassy/Funny, (3) Honest, (4) Hardworking, (5) Talented, (6) Humble

20. Which kpop company do you hate the most?

Cube or Pledis

21. What are you opinions on shipping?

It’s fine as long as fans don’t push participation of it onto the idols they’re shipping.

22. How did you get into kpop?

I saw a Kpop Countdown show on cable TV back in 2003 where they showed BoA and TVXQ and I was hooked instantly.

23. Has anyone ever made fun of you or looked at you weird for liking kpop?

I mean, yes…1000x yes, I was made fun of for loving kpop all the time. Once again, I got into kpop in 2003 y’all….which was before the internet was easily accessible in my home so I felt like the only person in America who liked kpop at the time. Not even my closest friends were into it and they felt like I was just a massive weirdo for loving it as much as I did. Thankfully, I found a community online of international kpop enthusiasts like myself to talk to in around 2005 (since I finally was able to save up for a bulky ass laptop) and that helped me feel less alone and bullied.

24. What is the cringiest thing you did when you were starting to get into kpop?

By the time kpop came into my life, I was already a set up Weeaboo, so…really I just became a deeper version of that…I was like an embarrassing kaiju cultural appropriation combo of Weeaboo and Koreaboo. I would make my own tshirts for TVXQ and just wear them out and about. They were SO BADLY MADE because I had no idea what I was doing but I thought I was so smart and stylish at the time. I also made CDs of Jpop and Kpop for people around school to hand out at lunch...I cringe just thinking about it.

25. How long does it take you to learn the names of each member in a group?

I’ve stopped learning members names nowadays LOL…I am too old for that shit and just don’t care enough anymore. (For past reference though, it took me about one week to remember all of TVXQ.)

26. Are you a gg, bg, or middle/coed stan?

Boy group stan

27. If you could hang out with one idol, who would you hang out with?

Shim Changmin of TVXQ….he’s my forever bias and I wanna hang out with his puppies and have a meal with him...ask him what he wants to do with the rest of his life once idol-dom is over.

28. Who is the bias to your third favorite group?

I guess that would be Monsta X so…uhm…it was Wonho but apparently, he isn’t in the group anymore…

29. What name from your native language would you give your ult bias?

What would I name Changmin in English? He already has a stage name that’s in English, which is Max. I am not sure what this question is asking LOL (also, who the fuck still calls Changmin, Max? I thought we dropped that shit back in 2006.)

30. Thought on fanfiction/AUs/etc?

I think it is great and gets fans to think more creatively and figure out where their talents lay! I used to write a lot of JaeMin and HoMin fanfiction back in the day…now I write mostly Destiel (Dean and Castiel from Supernatural) fanfiction.

#about me #personal #about mochi and matcha #kpop questions #get to know mochi and matcha #no one cares #if you read this...good on you #welcome to my brain...its full of tvxq and chocolate chip cookies

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goodjobcornjob · 4 years

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I was tagged by @icedchailatte, people like never tag me in these things I feel so honored lmao.

Don’t feel obligated by any means if you’re in this list, but I’m tagging @pumpkin-queef @msblam @cydoniadreamland @flaccid-robot-penis @borjaxton @lethargicthylacine @coffeeofthegay

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? Black.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? Country, then I could have sheep!

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Fencing! I took a week long fencing class once when I was little and have wanted to get into it more since.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I drink coffee with a blinding amount of sugar, but with tea it really depends. Usually some sugar but not much.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Not to be a furry on main but the warrior cats books were my JAM.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. I used to prefer baths but then someone pointed out to me that bathing is stewing in your own filth and now I’m grossed out by them. Do love bath bombs tho.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Does shapeshifter count? That would be best for my indecisive ass.

8. Paper or electronic books? Paper. The physical thing just hits different yknow?

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? Either a Ghost band shirt I have, since they’re one of my fave bands and my partner gave it to me, or this t-shirt I got from a friend with a smug looking frog face that says “yikes” on it.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? Already changed it baybee ;)

11. Who is a mentor to you? I have a friend who’s like a master class level cosplayer who’s slowly but surely teaching me The Ways Of The Cosplayer™️.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sometimes I think so, I’d love to make a huge number of people happy either by being funny or with my art, plus I’d love to be able to help spread awareness and end stigmas through fame, but then I remember how paranoid all that attention would make me. Long story short, no.

13. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Not really, but I can be if I wanna be.

14. Which element best represents you? Personality quizzes reliably tell me earth, so earth I guess?

15. Who do you want to be closer to? My friends from college. We never talk unless it’s in person and I don’t get to see them much :(

16. Do you miss someone at the moment? Yeah. I cut ties with my old Favorite Person (a thing related to BPD) about 1 1/2 years ago because she’s toxic af, I still regularly think about/miss her.

17. Tell us about an early childhood memory. When I was 11 I pulled out my two front teeth (not baby teeth, the actual legit ones) pulling open a drawer with my mouth while pretending to be a cat. I had to get a root canal to put them back in place, and was a lil celebrity at my dentist for years because of it. All the dentists loved root canal cat kid xD.

18. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? My childhood house is so dusty I could (and regularly did) catch dust in my mouth like snowflakes until I learned what it was.

19. What are you most thankful for? How well my transition has gone so far/the fact I’m able to transition at all.

20. Do you like spicy food? I desperately want to cause so much food from other cultures is spicy, but my acid reflux prevents me from building much of an immunity to it so I’m way too much of a wuss.

21. Have you ever met someone famous? I shook Bill Nye’s hand when he visited my hometown for a talk.

22. Do you keep a diary or journal? Yes, for therapy mostly, but I usually forget to write in it.

23. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pencil. I goof way too much to not be able to erase.

24. What is your star sign? Virgo. I don’t care about or believe in astrology at all tho.

25. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy, I’m no heathen.

26. What would you want your legacy to be? I just wanna be known for being helpful.

27. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love reading, but haven’t regularly since early high school. Last book I read was a wholesome manga called Merman In My Tub. I recommend it.

28. How do you show someone you love them? I usually send them lots of things related to stuff they like and make gifts for them.

29. Do you like ice in your drinks? Absolutely.

30. What are you afraid of? Spiders (not nearly as much as I used to be thanks to exposure therapy), ticks, parasites, death, confrontation, losing my friends.

31. What is your favourite scent? Probably either rose or campfire.

32. Do you address older people by their name or surname? First name unless they tell me otherwise.

33. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d live on a commune with my close friends. We wouldn’t be totally self sufficient, but we’d grow/make at least half the food and clothes we use. I’d come as close to having a private zoo as a person can actually ethically do without cramping/neglecting the animals. I’d play video games more than I worked. I’d regularly house people with nowhere to go. I’d sell sewing commissions and work somewhere like an animal rescue facility. A guy can dream 😔.

34. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Pools. If I think too much about how much poop has to be in any natural body of water it sets off my OCD (I’m fine if I forget to think about it tho).

35. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? Keep it. There’s no way to track who’s it is, if there was I’d try to return it.

36. Have you ever seen a shooting star? A few times.

37. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I don’t want kids, but if I did I’d want to teach them how to recognize differences in cultural practices without putting value judgements on them.

38. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have one (zelda tattoo on my shoulder), and am planning many more. Next one I want is a paw print from my cat on my stomach where he likes to knead.

39. What can you hear now? The wind in the trees outside, the fan, my partner shifting his feet, I think cicadas?

40. Where do you feel the safest? The living room when I’m alone in the house, listening to music and snuggling with my cat.

41. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Either my misophonia or my fear of confrontation.

42. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? Pre-colonialism North America. I’d love to see this continent in its not fucked up state.

43. What is your most used emoji? Tie between 🅱️, :’) and 😬

44. Describe yourself using one word. Clown.

45. What do you regret the most? Never standing up for myself or my friends as a kid/teen.

46. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. Very good but also overrated.

47. Last tv show you watched? Something I don’t remember the name of on PBS about octopi.

48. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Schlumple. It’s like when you’re sitting slumped and squished in on yourself you’re sitting all schlumpled. My rats do it all the time.

#long post #i expect nobody to care but yknow its real ce la vie hours

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cheap-pack-of-cigarettes · 6 years

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My Unpopular Kpop Opinions pt.5

*Disclaimer: these are my opinions & i’m allowed to say it. You don’t have to agree with everything I put in this list & that’s fine. If you dissagree with anything that’s cool, we’re all entitled to our own opinions so don’t jump down my neck if we don’t see eye to eye*

1. I don’t think BLACKPINK are overrated. I mean, I like them, I don’t hard stan them (would soft stan be the right term? lmao) but I think if you stanned a group that hadn’t put out any music for a year, you’re gonna get a bit impatient & you’re gonna vocalize it. So yeah, I don’t think they’re overrated but I do think they were talked about a lot more bc their fans missed them so much.

2. Stop sexualizing underage idols & stop oversexualizing girl & boy groups. I shouldn’t even have to say this but idk, be a decent human being maybe?

3. Wendy is problematic. I kinda like RED VELVET, I like their more recent songs like Bad Boy & Peek-A-Boo but every time i’m like ‘hmm, maybe i’ll stan’ I see Wendy & get reminded of her being problematic & i’m like yeet.

4. HYUNA is a queen & just because she’s confident in her body & in her sexuality, doesn’t mean she’s a slut. I see no correlation of the two.

5. I would much rather see any idols I love, girl or boy, healthy than being pressured to take off their shirt or be sexy every .5 seconds.

6. Most popular people in America that claim to really care about BTS or their music (as well as other Kpop groups) are lying & they’re just using their name & the kpop name for clout.

7. I think Taeyong & Mark (NCT) are super talented rappers & I love seeing them do their thing but I also would love it if SM would give the other members a chance to showcase their rap & vocal skills more, not just in one line of a song.

8. I love being fed as a kpop fan & seeing my fav’s have their own shows, or are on multiple variety programs but there is also a time when I just want the fucking camera’s out of their faces & I want them to be let alone to rest.

9. That ‘handsome’ ranking that some boy groups are forced to do/ have done ( I can’t speak for girl groups bc I don’t stan gg that hard to say for sure if they do it as well) is disgusting. How some people can flat out say Jooheon, Kihyun, (MONSTA X) D.O., (EXO) Seungkwan, (SEVENTEEN) Suga, (BTS) BamBam, (GOT7) Bobby, (iKON) Doyoung (NCT) ect. are ugly just because they’re not that person’s personal type is like ???? I personally think all the guys I named are handsome & it’s okay if someone dissagree’s but they don’t have to say they think that idol is flat out ugly & put them down for it ya know?

10. I’m not a fan of BIG BANG. Now okay, listen, this isn’t me tryna say ‘fuck big bang!! they’re total shit!’ No, not at all. I respect them & I truly think they deserve all the success & fame they have, just for me, personally, i’m not huge into their music.

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shalebridge-cradle · 6 years

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The Big Night Chapter 3 (Party Night)

(I just think they’re neat.)

Ugh.

Veronica hides with her head under the covers, unwilling and unable to face the world. She doesn’t have the words to describe how she’s feeling – maybe ‘cold’ or ‘weak’ would do, but it all sort of boils down to a generalized sort of… ‘ugh’.

The only useful thing she’s managed to do today (and calling it ‘useful’ is a stretch) is that she’s managed to turn off her blaring alarm and get some peace for a few minutes.

Shame she can’t do anything about the car horn, currently being used to its fullest extent outside her window.

“Goddammit, Heather,” Veronica groans into her pillow. Her parents should be well and truly up by now – why aren’t they putting their foot down? Why aren’t they going outside and doing something, anything, to let them know they heard her? Of course, the last time either of them demonstrated any sort of courage was when the paperboy broke the window in the front room, and that was five years ago.

Mercifully, the aria of impatience ceases when Chandler gets tired of laying on the horn. Veronica hears a car door slam, the clicking of heels on asphalt, then concrete. A muted “Veronica!” sounds from outside. It’s a lot nicer than the alternative.

Veronica shuffles over to her bedroom window, still wrapped in the five blankets forming her cocoon, and opens it just a crack.

“Keep going, Heather. I’m staying home.”

Heather doesn’t skip a beat. “Window open. Get out of the way.”

Veronica obeys. One perfectly polished shoe comes flying through the window, the other knocks over Veronica’s desk lamp. After a bit of scraping and scrabbling, Chandler climbs through to examine her girlfriend.

“You look like shit.”

Ah, yes. Heather Chandler, well-known for her bedside manner.

“Aren’t you just the fucking romantic?” Veronica grumbles.

“That’s a compliment.” Is it? “You’re still beautiful. You at your lowest is still miles ahead of everyone else’s. Now…”

An arm on her shoulder, one behind her knees. Veronica squeaks as she’s lifted up off the ground and deposited back in her bed.

“You stay there,” Chandler commands, “I’ll make you soup. Don’t. Move.”

That last part is fine with Veronica – staying upright was overrated, anyway. Provided adjusting the blankets doesn’t count as moving (Christ, she’s freezing), she’s completely content in following Heather’s orders this time.

She snuggles back down into her bed, dozing off again, until she smells the scent of chicken soup placed on her bedside table, and feels a warm weight on her legs.

Okay. The soup, she expected. Not the other part.

With almost all of her remaining energy, Veronica sits up just enough to see what that is. It’s Heather, of course (Veronica should stop being surprised about this), lying down on the end of the bed, keeping Veronica’s calves pinned down.

“What are you doing?”

Heather doesn’t look over. “I’m helping.”

“How?”

“Keeping you in bed.”

There were many ways that could be a problem. Veronica focuses on just the one, though. “You need to get to school.”

“No. You’re sick.”

“Your education is more important.”

“Bullshit. You’re a better use of my time, and you know that.”

Veronica sighs. “That’s sweet, Heather, but I promise you I’m not dying. You can come back after school, and I’ll still be here.”

Chandler groans, but at least she bothers to think about it for a moment. Maybe she’s considering Duke and McNamara – while they certainly won’t be lost without her, Heather always thinks they will be.

“If you do die,” she says, looking pointedly at Veronica, “I’ll be hunting your ghost down for eternity. Got it?”

“Aye-aye, captain.”

Two hands on her shoulders, and Veronica lets herself fall back onto the pillow. Heather presses a kiss against her jaw. Veronica lets her eyes flutter close again.

“Good girl,” she mumbles.

She hears Heather pause at the window, trying to hold in a squeal. “… Just eat your soup before it gets cold.”

“You sure about this?”

This might be the first time ever that Heather hasn’t wanted Veronica at a party. They’re in Heather’s car, doing some last-minute checks on their makeup, when Heather turns off the lights and asks the question.

“I promise you, Heather,” Veronica just manage, “I’m fine. It looks like it was just… food poisoning, or something.”

At the very least, that’s what she thinks it is. She and her parents were sick as a… well, sick as a dog for three days, then up and about like nothing was ever wrong. As much as Heather worries, Veronica is telling the truth about this.

Besides, she likes parties. Once you got past the social status benchmark to be invited in the first place, they’re great. People laugh with each other, not at each other, and there’s always something wild to talk about in the days to follow. Just avoid the members of the football team who were complete jackasses, and you were golden.

Heather searches Veronica’s face for a sign of dishonesty that isn’t there. “You really sure?”

“Positive.”

Heather frowns, considering, then she leans in.

It’s a slow, languid kiss, Heather’s red velvet lips soft, undemanding. Veronica isn’t sure why this is happening, but she’s eager to reciprocate. While it seems like it could go on forever, Heather pulls back and the moment ends.

“If I get sick in the next few days,” she warns, “I’ll know you’re lying.”

“Maybe you should try again. Y’know, to make sure I’m telling the truth.”

Heather hums. “Tempting, but we’re already late. We need to get in there while we can still be fashionable about it.”

Unsurprisingly, the place is packed when Veronica and Heather walk in. Whose house is this again? Might be Dan’s, Veronica vaguely remembers, from the Junior State of America. Generally a good host, but not destined for Congress.

She watches the sea of faces turn towards them, and it’s like a switch is flicked – the chatter, previously murmurs that came in waves, rises into a surge of sound as every single person’s decision to come is validated by Heather Chandler’s presence.

Veronica still doesn’t understand why Chandler has so much power, but goddamn does it feel good to be caught in that aura of awe.

Let’s see, who’s here tonight… ugh, Kurt Kelly is, and from the blush on his face, probably drunk already. Dennis, surprising. Some hipster dork, a dude in a trenchcoat, Country Club Kids, yeah, that made sense, but Veronica couldn’t trust herself to have a conversation with them without sarcasm …

Betty?

“So she accepted my bribe,” Heather mutters.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Veronica guesses that McNamara pounced on the chance to do a makeover once again – at the very least, she’s sure Betty wouldn’t have bought that silver dress. The makeup’s subtle, a bit of blush and a touch of eyeshadow, and the glasses were gone. Hopefully she has contacts, Veronica thinks to herself, Betty’s super short-sighted. Maybe that’s why Duke is with her. Being her guide dog that can also hold a conversation.

Just as that thought is about to go further, Veronica almost gets tackled to the floor by flying display of affection.

“You came!” McNamara exclaims as she releases her hold around Veronica’s waist. “You’re alive, and you’re here, and you came!”

“Yes, yes, and yes. So is Betty, if my eyes don’t deceive me. Your handiwork?”

McNamara grins, an affirmation. “She’s having a lot of fun! She even had Heather’s drinks for her, what with Heather driving and all. It’s a two-drink minimum, Betty said, but that doesn’t mean Heather has to have them herself.”

“And Heather let her?”

“Uh-huh. Besides, it’s Betty first popular kid party. She should celebrate!”

Oh, Christ. Betty’s going all out for this – Veronica’s ninety-nine percent sure her old friend hasn’t even touched alcohol before tonight, then four shots all at once? Good little Betty Finn?

She glances over to Betty’s corner again. She doesn’t look drunk at all. Maybe her tolerance is higher than expected.

“Hm. Maybe I should have your drinks for you, too,” Veronica smirks.

“You know I need at least one to get through this shit,” Chandler shoots back. “Besides, you shouldn’t be having that much. It’ll… slow down your recovery, or something.”

“Whatever, Mom. I won’t drink too much if you don’t. Deal?”

Chandler sighs. “Deal, I guess. Go. Be free. I have to socialize - go spare yourself the agony.”

Veronica’s totally fine with that.

She has a thirst she needs to sate.

“So, since none of us were stupid enough to drink water out of a pawprint, there had to be another reason. Then I think back – that goth kid was making some pretty vague threats a few weeks ago, mumbling something when we walked past. Maybe that was more than just posturing to the other witch wannabes.”

Betty listens with a polite smile. Before tonight, she hadn’t even considered what type of drunk she was. Well, maybe ‘drunk’ isn’t the right word – she thinks she’s mildly tipsy, nothing more, but ‘Zen Drunk’ had a nice ring to it. She finds she does not care when she really, really should. Anyone could overhear this conversation, and yet Betty cannot bring herself to worry about anyone out of the loop catching on.

Besides, she likes seeing Duke this comfortable. Whenever Betty sees her at school, she always looks as nervous as Betty feels. Now she’s in her element, eyes bright as she goes on about something she’s confident about, and neither of them could be any happier.

Of course, that’s when they get interrupted.

Heather Chandler stands over the two of them, the dim lighting making the glare more intimidating than it has to be.

“I need to speak with you,” she says to Betty, “the designated driver can stay here.”

Duke opens her mouth, about to speak, but Betty cuts her off. “Sure. Where to?”

“Follow me.”

They clamber up the stairs, and Betty has a little time to think. She was sure she saw Veronica earlier. Good to know she was getting over her illness, but Betty can’t help but feel a twinge of hurt that she didn’t come over to chat. Later, she supposes. She’ll track Veronica down before the party’s end.

Chandler leads her to an alcove near the stairs. Again, Betty should be at least slightly concerned that this werewolf (and yes, Duke told her it’s Chandler as well) has her almost up against a wall. Cornered by a predator, not a single care given.

“What do you know about Veronica?”

Betty blinks. “A lot of things, as it happens. Why?”

“I think she’s hiding something from me. It might be a politeness thing, but there’s been something wrong with her lately, and I need to find out what it is.”

Now, Betty’s nowhere near an expert on how popular people conduct things, but this feels like a breach of privacy. Veronica seems to like Chandler, but Betty’s not so sure if it’s really reciprocated. What if Chandler’s trying to get dirt on her for some nefarious purpose? Not that she wouldn’t mind seeing Veronica more, but not at the cost of Veronica’s social life.

“You’ve apparently known her since before either of you could walk,” Chandler goes on, “and like hell I’m gonna ask her parents, I don’t wanna look at her baby pictures or anything…”

Someone, too tall and broad-shouldered to be the topic of conversation, appears at the top of the stairs.

“Heather, there’s -”

“I’m talking. How many drinks did Heather give you for you to forget the one thing you have going for you-”

Too late. Kurt Kelly, Quarterback, wraps his arms around Chandler’s waist. Chandler goes still – not tense, not like she’s afraid (Betty’s pretty sure Heather Chandler knows no fear) - almost like she’s waiting.

“Red,” he begins, full of confidence he shouldn’t have, “red is the color of… passion. ‘S the color of fire, an’… an’ heat, an’ other things that are hot. Red is the sex color, an’ you, Heather Chandler, are all those things. Yeah.” Kurt looks down at her expectantly, a lopsided grin on his face. “You into it yet? Poems are s’posed to work.”

Chandler keeps staring straight ahead. “Betty, is there anyone else behind me right now?”

Betty checks over Kurt’s shoulder, then shakes her head.

Chandler nods in understanding, face blank. Then, she whips around, shoulders hunched over in decidedly unladylike fashion, and her voice is so low and guttural that Betty can barely make out the words.

“FUCK OFF, DEADBEAT!”

Betty doesn’t know what Kurt sees, but from his expression it might have made his heart stop for a second. He forces a pathetic little scream from his mouth as he tears his arms away, before running as fast as his wobbly legs can carry him.

Chandler turns back to Betty, face as perfectly made-up as expected and with a similar air of nonchalance. “Anyway, I don’t want anything to come between us. Is there any huge life-changing secret that Veronica’s hiding from me?”

“I don’t think so,” Betty replies. “Even if I did know something, it’s a secret for a reason. If she thought it’d be a problem, she’d tell you herself.”

Chandler narrows her eyes, but manages not to tear Betty to shreds for that little slight. Then she sighs.

“I just want to do this right.”

Betty raises her eyebrows. “I’m sorry?”

“Being… I won’t say nice. Open with people,” Chandler mutters, almost lost over the voices coming from downstairs, “and since I’m not, Veronica isn’t, I think. I want her to be okay.”

“And you don’t think she is.”

Chandler nods.

Al-righty then.

There are a lot of directions this conversation could go. There’s also the problem of missing context – is this a friend thing, or something else? From this admission, it’s clear Chandler likes Veronica, but does she like-like her?

“I can’t answer those questions for you,” Betty admits, “and if Veronica isn’t telling you, it’s probably personal. She’s kind of private, I’m sure you’ve noticed. Maybe let her know how it makes you feel if it’s causing you that much pain.”

Chandler considers this for a moment, then nods again. “Thank you.”

Betty is uncertain how to feel about getting gratitude from this particular person. Luckily, she doesn’t have to respond – Duke and McNamara are coming up the stairs, walking slowly, carefully. Duke catches Betty’s eye, and Betty can see the relief wash over her.

“Hello Heather, Heather,” Betty begins, and there’s a sharp inhale as all three Heathers are caught in the act, “as you can see, I’m still in one piece. Thanks for checking up on me.”

“Why does everyone think I’m gonna murder someone?” Chandler complains.

“Are you okay?” McNamara asks, “Kurt said your face was all freaky.”

“I am physically perfect at all times, Heather, you know that. We need to find Veronica. We need to talk.”

A gasp. “Are you breaking up? No, wait, are you getting married?!”

“No, of course not. We’re gonna have a heart-to-heart.”

“Emotional vulnerability? You? So you are getting married,” Duke quips.

“Shut up!” Duke cowers at the sound of Chandler’s snarl, but she’s still got that grin on her face. “We move. Now.”

Veronica honestly thought she was better. Now she’s not so sure – not that Chandler cares about that distinction. Maybe it’s the heat in the air, the sting of alcohol and the oppressive B.O. whenever some dudebro with no concept of personal hygiene wanders too close. It’s weird, not worrying that Chandler will be mad. Veronica’s more worried she’ll be disappointed – Veronica isn’t sure why Heather doesn’t use that tactic more often, it’s way more devastating than any scream of rage.

The bathroom’s a welcome break, though. Veronica splashes some water on her face, careful to avoid her eyes, and takes a long hard look at herself in the mirror above the sink. She supposes she’s a little pale. Just a little. Hard to tell with the makeup and all. It’s more how she feels, really, sort of… empty…

Her eyes flick to the closed door, just for a moment.

Well. That’s only half-right. Her reflection’s eyes flick to the door, Veronica herself just stared in horror.

Mirror Veronica uses her head to gesture towards the door again, raising her eyebrows in a silent request for Real Veronica to turn around.

… You know what? Fine. This might as well happen. Veronica turns, and it’s only then she notices the faint knocking at the door. With slightly shaking hands, she turns the knob and opens the door a crack.

Round, colored shades and a military jacket. Oh, yeah. Tracey, the, uh, young entrepreneur. Not a person usually seen among the popular kids, but nonetheless provides a service that gets her a place at the table. At least it’s not Heather.

Veronica opens the door all the way. “Sorry, I was just on my way out. Go on in.”

“Um, actually, could you help me for a sec? I don’t have both hands available, but I need to put a bandage on.”

“Sure thing,” Veronica says without thinking, “did Dan tell you where they were?”

“The cloth ones? Yeah.”

Tracey holds out her hand.

Oh.

Oh shit.

Honestly, Betty expected werewolves to be better at hunting.

It might be because they’re human-shaped, at the moment, sauntering down the corridor like Betty’s seen them do so many times before. Certainly not acting like there’s any urgency, can’t let people know they care about things.

Oh, wait. McNamara has stopped in front over a half-open door, eyes wide.

“I don’t think it’s anything,” she says, like a liar. “Do you smell that?”

All three of her followers sniff the air. Chandler’s brow furrows further, but Duke shakes her head.

“Nothing,” she says, “then again, not the full moon.”

“That’d be a whole other set of problems,” Chandler grumbles.

“It’s… well…”

In the bathtub, with Veronica’s jacket over her like a blanket, lies Tracey, grey and lifeless.

There’s a moment of tense, fearful silence.

“Welp, Tracey’s dead,” Chandler says, suddenly and strangely professional, “Heather, help me hide the body.”

Duke stares, alarmed. The way Heather Chandler says it, a casual tone marred by the quick, snappy way the words come out is jarring.

“This. This is why people think you murdered someone,” Betty deadpans.

Chandler ignores her. “Well? The longer we wait, the more likely someone else finds out. Move.”

McNamara steps up to the plate. Slowly. Eventually.

When Tracey’s body is about six inches off the floor, she groans. McNamara drops her, startled, and suddenly Tracey’s definitely awake and… well? No, Betty decides, that’s a reach – but she’s alive, if somewhat pale.

“Now a lotta things hurt,” she whines.

“Heather, get her a towel,” Chandler commands, “if Tracey leaves the room like this, people are gonna think she’s murdered someone.”

Betty isn’t sure who Chandler is referring to with that last bit.

“What happened?” she asks.

Tracey screws up her face, wiping off the semi-dried blood on her arms. “I remember this part. I was talking to Rachel about this party I went to, where one dude jumped from the balcony into the pool, and when I said it, I did-” she mimes slamming down, hitting her bandaged palm down onto the edge of the tub, and just manages to stop herself from screaming in pain. “There was a shot glass there. It broke when I slammed my hand onto the table.”

“Why do you have to be so violent when you tell stories?” Duke queries.

“I just get really into them, okay?! Anyway, Dan said there were bandages in the upstairs bathroom, so I went up, and Veronica was in there.”

“And she helped you.” Chandler doesn’t phrase it like a question. To be fair, it’s probably a given.

“No, she was acting all freaky. When she saw my hand, her eyes just…” Tracey places two fists on either side of her face, then spreads her fingers wide with a little ‘pchoo’ noise.

“Her eyes exploded?!”

“No! The black part, they got all wide all of a sudden. Then… I dunno. Can’t remember.”

That’s the second least encouraging thing that could possibly be said. The first would be that Veronica did something terrible to Tracey, and that she did remember. Ignorance is bliss.

“Okay,” Chandler responds after a moment, “leave, then.”

“…This room?”

“No, the state. Yes, I mean this room. Go. Git.”

Tracey looks pleadingly at Betty, hoping for someone to explain… pretty much everything at this point. But Betty doesn’t know where this is going, either, so she shrugs, and Tracey stumbles out without another word.

Silence, again.

Betty examines the three Heathers. Duke looks like she’s trying to figure something out, McNamara hasn’t had any idea what’s going on since they got into the bathroom, and Betty’s never seen Chandler look so devastated.

“So,” Duke says slowly, “vampire.”

“Vampire,” Betty echoes. Werewolves existed, she knew that. It’d be narrow-minded to presume there weren’t other supernatural creatures as well.

…How did she come to that conclusion so quickly? ‘Oh, well, my best friend’s a vampire now, I guess’ shouldn’t be Betty’s first thought on the matter, and certainly not the last.

“How?” she adds, weakly.

“Well, that depends. Has she rejected the Orthodox faith lately? Apparently that’s a trigger.”

Chandler breaks out of her funk long enough to snap, “Ninety percent of world would be vampires if that were right, Heather. Pick a reason that isn’t mind-numbingly dumb.”

“Let me think…” Duke pauses, the counts out the reasons on her hand. “Practiced sorcery, born out of wedlock, pretty much anything jumping over her open grave, eating the meat of a sheep killed by a wolf, or being a natural redhead. Any of those work for you?”

Chandler touches her hair for a moment, then shakes her head. “No. Doesn’t change my plan, really. I still have to find her, to get answers. Heather?”

McNamara perks up. Chandler grabs the jacket, throws it a lot more gently than the last time Betty saw her do so.

“Track her.”

“What?”

Chandler sighs. “Like those bloodhounds do in cop shows. You’ve got the best nose, and time is short.”

McNamara stares.

“Sniff it, then see if you can follow the smell,” Duke explains.

“I know that part. It just feels weird. Sniffing people’s clothes. It feels wrong.”

“It’s fine if you do it for a good cause,” Betty reasons, “this is a good cause, isn’t it?”

McNamara thinks for a moment, then nods. “This a good thing. I’m good, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you’re a very good girl. Now, off you go.”

Why are they looking at her like that?

Okay.

That explains a lot.

Yeah, it’s kind of out-there as an answer, but Veronica should have never been skeptical about it. She knows there are stranger things than this out there.

Oh, fuck her sideways. What’s gonna happen to that relationship now? Don’t werewolves have this thing going on with vampires? Are they gonna hate each other now because of instinctual speciesism?

Veronica groans. She has to hide, let everything calm down a little before she jumps that hurdle. She knows Tracey was still alive when she left, but she’ll have to go back at some point to get her coat. Not now, though.

Veronica tests the handle on the first door she finds. Open. She presses her ear to the door. No noise from inside.

She opens the door. Some sort of guest bedroom, bereft of any signs of life (though someone has been in here before, the sheets are all fucked up). Bonus, some sort of closet on the far side. Perfect.

Well, if she’s… like this, now, maybe she can hide a little better.

Veronica closes her eyes, concentrates for just a moment - oh fuck this is the wrong choice -

No, no it’s fine (it’s not, none of it is, but she needs to focus more than ever). If – if she just gets on the ceiling, all of her on the ceiling…

How the fuck does this work?

Apparently, the trail leaves to what looks like a guest bedroom – at least, if the complete lack of character is any indication. The only sign the place has been used at all are the bedsheets, all twisted, hanging off the edge of the mattress like a rope. Betty wonders which one of the former occupants was trying to escape.

McNamara does a quick sweep of the room, checking under the bed, behind the curtains, in the closet.

“Not here.”

“She was in here, though. You smell her.”

McNamara nods. “She isn’t here now, though. Now it’s just bats.”

Duke stiffens.

“Bats.” Chandler repeats.

“Yep. In the closet. Bats.”

“Plural?”

“That’s why she added the ‘s’ at the end, yeah,” Duke mutters. Chandler opens her mouth, but slowly closes it again, waiting.

McNamara opens the closet door again, and points.

…Yeah, those are bats. Hundreds of the little guys, hanging off the walls, on the ceiling, chilling on the empty clothes hangers. A thousand beady black eyes watch them intently, fearfully.

“I mean, it makes sense,” Duke murmurs beside her, “conservation of mass, and all. It’s either this, or one huge bat, and that’d be worse.”

McNamara considers it for a moment, then nods. “Yeah, that’d be scary. These are cute.” She pauses. “Wait, what?”

“It’s Veronica,” Chandler says, voice hollow. Betty almost feels bad for her.

“…No, don’t like it. Too many eyes. How do we put her back together?”

“How do we get her out without anyone noticing?” Duke adds.

Both good questions. Even the heavily inebriated knew a colony of chiroptera don’t belong in some dude’s guest room. Maybe - they’re small enough that a few could go in a handbag, maybe if they take a few trips they could get her to the car… but what happens if Veronica wants to go back to normal, and half of her is outside and the other half’s in here?

Ever so slowly, Chandler reaches out and gingerly pries one of the bats off the closet wall and holds it in her palm. It gives a timid squeak, barely audible.

Chandler stares.

Then, with one careful finger, she gently pats it on the head.

Betty lets out a soft ‘oh!’ at the same time the bat squeaks in surprise.

“You’re still cute. Just in a different way,” Chandler murmurs to it, then looks up, eyes sharp. “The pillowcases. Take them off, we’ll use those.”

So many questions answered in so little time. Veronica has terrible taste in women.

Betty jumps into action – for Veronica’s sake.

Veronica comes to consciousness tucked up in a bed. Two eyes. Hands. Legs.

Something’s on her legs. That’s fine. That means they’re there.

“Heather?”

Chandler’s voice is soft, and sounds like it’s from her usual position. “Yeah?”

“Am I in your house, or Dan’s?”

“Mine. That’s what we agreed to. Heather and Heather took Betty home. They’re safe.”

Okay. That’s good. It’s all okay. Heather’s here, and everyone’s where they’re supposed to be.

“Heather, I think I had too much last night.”

Heather makes a noise Veronica’s tired mind can’t describe. It sounds nervous.

“I think… I dunno, maybe someone slipped something into my drink. I imagined some weird shit. I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?”

“…No. We… we, uh, smuggled you out of there.”

Oh. Wow. Heather Chandler, stumbling over her words. Has that ever happened before?

Veronica swings herself up, opening her eyes and regretting it when the sunlight stings her face. Heather is watching her, fidgeting with the hem of her robe.

“Veronica, I know a lot of things happened last night. Some life… life? Yeah, life-changing stuff got shoved your way. I just want you to know I still love you, and I’ll be here no matter what you are.” She goes to take both of Veronica’s hands, but decides against it after getting a glance at the left one. “No, that-that’s fine. This is fine, you’re fine.”

Veronica follows the gaze down, to the limb that Chandler’s lying about. Well, where the hand should be, anyway. Like, some of it’s there, but two of her fingers and part of her palm are just… not. There’s just a little bit of black fog keeping Veronica from seeing the inside of her hand.

Huh. So it wasn’t a bad trip. That’s a shame.

…

……

………

WHAT IN THE FLIPPITY FLAPPITY FUCK IS GOING ON WHY CAN THE TURN INTO MULTIPLE ANIMALS DOES TEN PERCENT OF HER HAVE RABIES NOW IS SHE DEAD OR UNDEAD OR WHATEVER WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO HER AND –

Heather grabs something off the end of the bed, shakes it. Something falls out, and she grabs it and shoves it onto Veronica’s hand. The missing digits return to their rightful place.

“I missed one,” she pants, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it’s just they’re very small, I thought it was a crease in the pillowcase-”

Veronica cuts her off with a wordless, questioning scream.

“Yeah. Yeah, I feel that. Few questions – you can nod or shake your head if you can’t talk. Okay?”

Veronica needs a second to rein in her panic, but manages to nod.

“Okay. Thank you.” Heather clears her throat. “Are you a natural redhead?”

What? Heather knows that isn’t true, though it makes Veronica forget about her existential crisis for a moment. She shakes her head.

“And you haven’t been in a grave… were your parents married when they had you?”

Veronica nods.

“Do you feel particularly strongly about the Orthodox church?”

Shakes her head.

“Are you a sorcerer?”

“Where are you going with this, Heather?”

“We’re doing some diagnosing,” Heather explains. “Are you, though?”

“No.”

“Okay, I think this is that last one… have you eaten sheep recently?”

Veronica thinks for a moment. “We did have some lamb pâté about a week ago. It’s usually made of beef, and Mom wanted something different, but not too different. I think that’s what gave us…”

Ohhhhh. She gets it now.

Heather sets her jaw.

“The pâté,” she growls. The way that sentence is said almost demands “my mortal enemy” be tacked onto the end.

“It’s bullshit, but it makes the most sense of the options you gave me.”

“You should sue.”

“What? For vampirism? Don’t think that’ll hold up in a court of law.”

Chandler scowls, but submits to Veronica’s superior logic. Then, her face goes blank.

“Veronica?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you hate me?”

This has been a rollercoaster of a morning. It goes from calm, to panic, to jokes, to this – and Heather Chandler has looked so very worried this whole time. It’s not a face she should wear, in Veronica’s opinion.

“Of course not,” she coos, reaching out to take Heather’s hand (Heather lets it happen). “I still feel the same way about you, I promise. Do you hate me?”

“No!”

“Then it’s all okay. Well… no. Everything’s okay between us. I still have a lot to figure out about everything else.”

“I’ll help with that.”

Veronica smiles. “Thanks, Heather. For everything.”

“Expect nothing less than perfection from me. C’mere, Countess Chocula.”

Veronica lets herself be pulled forward into Heather’s arms, relaxing into the touch. The nickname would definitely need to go sooner rather than later, but they’re gonna take this whole thing slow.

One night at a time, and they’ll figure it out.

#the cradle will write #the big night

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writingguide003-blog · 5 years

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Who gave the best convention speech? Former writers weigh in.

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/who-gave-the-best-convention-speech-former-writers-weigh-in/

Who gave the best convention speech? Former writers weigh in.

Melanie Trump, left, and Bill Clinton, right.

Roll calls, house bands, awkward dancing, comedy hats and protests aside, the political conventions that have dominated the news agenda over the past fortnight essentially boil down to one long succession of speeches.

An opportunity for Republicans and Democrats to galvanize support and attract voters in the build-up to the crucial November vote, they rely on a host of speakers to get vital messages across and really define the party line.

SEE ALSO: President Obama rips into Trump: ‘The Donald is not a facts guy’

Some give stirring speeches that leave few dry eyes in the house. Others have delegates in stitches with one-liners or impressions. And some just fall flat.

The public offers its opinion on each speaker in real time across social media, but what do the pros think?

Matt Latimer (@matt_latimer), deputy director of speechwriting to President George W. Bush and chief speechwriter to Donald Rumsfeld, and Barton Swaim, who wrote the book on speechwriting (literally), intently watched what unfolded in Cleveland and Philadelphia (where Hillary Clinton speaks Thursday night) and shared their thoughts with Mashable.

Latimer discussed some of the key speeches with us, and scored them out of ten. Shall we begin with the most controversial so far?

Melania Trump

Melania Trump’s words, which were relatively well-received as they were delivered, were tainted almost immediately by undeniable accusations of plagiarism that went on to dominate the first three days of the Republican convention. Latimer, though, thought she did a decent job.

“There was something about her that made me want to like her.”

“I give Mrs. Trump a good deal of slack, because she is not a political veteran and does not speak the language [as a native] or seem to have much interest, for that matter, in the campaign world,” he said. “There was something about her that made me want to like her and maybe that was it.

“The entire speech was, of course, overshadowed by the plagiarism charge.This isn’t unprecedented, but it is uncommon. And I think it came about because of a chaotic, amateurish process that didn’t have a process for vetting speeches.This would almost certainly never have happened with a more traditional presidential campaign operation.

“The speech’s major failing is that it did not convey any personal side of Trump, except for the fact that he married an attractive, successful immigrant to America and has stayed with her for nearly 20 years,which in itself is not nothing.”

Score: 6/10 (would have been 7/10 if not for the plagiarism)

Mike Pence

Remember the stand-out moments from Pence’s speech? Neither do we. Latimer says that’s the point.

“His speech didn’t set the world on fire, but that’s a good thing.”

“Donald Trump needed a vice president who didn’t scare everyone,” Latimer said.”And Mike Pence came across just fine on that score a kind and decent family man, a nice guy, hard right on a few social issues, but not that different from a typical conservative,” he insisted.

“His speech was delivered with sincerity and humor.

“It didn’t set the world on fire, but that’s a good thing since many voters wonder if the top of the ticket plans to do just that should he win the White House.

“This was the kind of speech Trump needed to reassure the base and calm jittery voters down.

“It wasn’t particularly memorable, but we’re talking about vice presidents here anyway. Nobody is supposed to pay much attention to them.”

Score: 7/10

Donald Trump

“The speech no other candidate would have given, which is fitting for a campaign no other candidate would have run,” Latimer said of Trump’s historically long time on stage. “It lacked much, if any, humor and made no real effort to add a new dimension to the Trump persona,” he added.

“Many critics quickly denounced it as a ‘gloom and doom’ speech, but it’s not at all clear that these pundits have a better sense of the country’s mood than Trump does. (He’s proven them wrong on that score countless times so far.)

“In demeanor, style, message, delivery, Trump personified CHANGE, but in a totally different way to Obama’s change message of 2008. The two men couldn’t have more different speaking styles if they came from different planets.

“Trump’s only hope for winning is if a majority of the country wants a sharp departure from the Obama years, and radical change.If they do, his speech played right into that.”

Score: 8/10

Barton Swaim, the author of The Speechwriter: A Brief Education in Politics and a wordsmith for Rep. Mark Sanford during his time as governor of South Carolina, also gave Mashable his thoughts on Trump’s speech.

“Why did he yell so much?”

“It began well, but the weird cadence grated after the first ten minutes,” he said. “A few words, awkward stop. A few words, awkward stop. And why did he yell so much? It was as if he was trying to win over the angriest Republicans, but they’re already his strongest supporters.”

“The length was awful. You sympathize for American politicians to a degree they can’t get through a few phrases without another round of applause and it cuts into the time by a lot. Still, no political speech should go beyond 20 minutes. By the end you were just exhausted.”

Everyone watching this speech RN #RNCinCLE pic.twitter.com/rxfeirC2Ah

Mashable GIF (@mashablegif) July 22, 2016

“Trump has this magical ability a comedian’s talent, really to phrase much of what he says as if it were a punchline. He always puts the most important word at the end, like a well delivered punchline. He doesn’t say the important thing and then leave you with a long dependent clause. Almost every sentence ends with a pop. Nearly all of his tweets work like that; a lot of them will conclude with ‘Sad!’ or ‘America 1st!’ or ‘Overrated!'”

“Too much screaming, weird cadence, but a memorable speech and, for Trump, it was as on-message as anything could be.

Michelle Obama

The First Lady’s words were warmly praised by onlookers. John Podhoretz, the former speechwriter for both Reagan and George H.W. Bush, gave a standing ovation on Twitter.

Whoever wrote this speech, I salute you. This is how you frame an attack with a scalpel.

John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) July 26, 2016

As a former speechwriter, all I can do is listen to this and sayWHO WROTE THIS? YOU’RE MAKING US PROUD.

John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) July 26, 2016

Latimer, who is also a partner at Javelin, a literary and communications firm in Alexandria, VA, sang the First Lady’s praises.

“Charming, poised, tough, she brought her A-game to the speech and left more than one pundit wondering when she was going to announce her own campaign for something,” he said.

“There were many elements to this speech that could help Hillary Clinton as she puts a final polish on her own. The First Lady didn’t attack Trump directly.She didn’t need to her references were pointed, effective, and obvious.Even Trump seemed to know to steer clear of her: he departed from his customary tweet taunts during her speech and kept a wise silence.

“She had a number of good soundbites ‘when they go low, we go high,’ ‘I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves,’ ‘Hillary Clinton has never quit on anything in her life’ (like her marriage, wink) which are often key to making a speech moving and memorable.”

It was a huge contrast to Bill Clinton’s, Latimer said.

“It’s pretty hard to dispute that if she were running this year, the election would be over.”

Score: 10/10

Bill Clinton

The former president and potential First Gentleman spoke Tuesday during what many lambasted as a rambling and tedious affair. Latimer said it was not one of his best.

“This was the wedding toast that never ends.”

“This was the wedding toast that never ends,” he said. “The former president was like an aging father of the bride, who everyone kind of wants to like and nods and smiles at politely while he relives highlights of his life and sort of makes a point by accident.

“When I watched it, I was reminded of the famous ramble by Grandpa Simpson that includes the line: ‘I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.'”

Bill Clinton: “so I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time…” #DNCinPHL

Matt Latimer (@matt_latimer) July 27, 2016

“Bill Clinton was never a ‘soundbite’ kind of speaker. His most famous lines have been unintentional, and largely disastrous: ‘It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is;’ ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman;’ and that time he said he wanted to date a mummy.

“Calling his wife a change-maker’ was awkward. Is she good at giving you four quarters for a dollar? And the long, probably false story of their meeting and courtship probably raised uncomfortable memories of other women he’s courted.

“Many in the media tried to give him a pass, but I won’t.Clinton can give fantastic speeches this wasn’t one of them.”

Score: 6/10

Hillary Clinton takes to the stage for her own speech Thursday night. She’ll have some tough and memorable acts to follow.