#There’s a party at my house and every trans person in the world is invited | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

qwainte · 1 year

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Here is an unfinished sketch of a Bully/Canis Canem Edit OC of mine. I'm not planning on completing this particular image, but I still wanted to post something because I said a while back that I'd share something about my OCs but I never did, so here is Brandi Torres!

My first fanfic that I posted on ao3 (you can find the link on my blog) actually includes her and another one of my OCs. I thought it was a fun way to introduce them while also writing a self-indulgent rarepair story, lol.

Some basic info. It might change in the future:

Full Name: Brandi Isabela Torres Romão Birth date: August 17th Age: 15 Height: 165 cm School: Bullworth Academy Year: 10th Clique: Preppies Hair color: Black Eyes: Light brown

Below is her bio that I created a few months ago, back when I said I would post a work about my OCs on ao3. I didn't really know how to write their biographies in a way that would be interesting to read and I wanted to push myself to post my art online, so I scrapped that idea. Again, this info may change:

Brandi was born in New York and was the last child of four. Growing up in the hustle and bustle of NYC, Brandi was exposed to the glamorous world of showbiz. Her father, a movie producer and director, and her mother, an acclaimed opera singer, provided Brandi with a comfortable upbringing. Growing up, Brandi would spend her summer holidays at her family's vacation home in the Hamptons, where she first met Bryce Montrose and was immediately smitten with him. As the years passed, Brandi's feelings for Bryce grew to the point of possessiveness, although Bryce remains unaware of this and continues to regard Brandi like a little sister. Brandi is equally blind to Bryce's non-romantic feelings for her, believing that one day they will become a couple. When she was eleven years old, Brandi's family moved to New England and enrolled her into Bullworth Academy at the suggestion of the Montroses. She instantly became fast friends with Pinky and Gord and developed close relationships with Bif and Fiona (OC) [I plan on posting her soon, I just need to clean up her sketch]. It was during her time at Bullworth that Brandi began to compete for Bryce's attention, although it was often given to Chad instead. Through it all, Brandi remains one of Bryce's closest companions. Brandi is a well-known figure around school due to her parents' influence in the entertainment industry. She's taken her love of the spotlight and channeled it into her involvement with the Drama Club. She offers a certain level of flair to school productions, but her overconfidence in her singing talent often falls short of expectations. She loves to show off her wealth and flaunt her parents' fame at every opportunity. Brandi takes great pleasure in throwing lavish parties and often invites less wealthy students as guests. Brandi is social and amiable on the surface but can easily display a nastier side to those whom she sees as obstacles. She is good at persuasion and manipulation and will do whatever it takes to get what or who she wants.

See? It's boring! Anyway, onto trivia i.e. info I'm too lazy to try and fit into her bio:

She and her father are the only ones in her family born in the US. Her mother and siblings were born in Portugal

Speaks with a Trans-Atlantic accent [Oh, to be a starlet in old Hollywood!]

Knows Bryce is broke and covers for him

Derby usually entrusts her to plan parties at Harrington House

She and Gary bump heads a lot as he doesn't care for her flattery at all. She also got him kicked off the debate team

Favorite color is white

Good at Geometry

Brandi is actually a composite of herself and another one of my OCs; Isabella was an OC I've had for a while who shared a lot of similarities with Brandi so I combined them together. Brandi's second personal name is an homage to Isabella

Thanks for sticking around this long to check her out. This is literally the first time I have posted my art on the internet, and honestly? I'm terrified, lmao. I always hated my art and rn I'm experimenting with a new art style so I'm unsure about everything. Hopefully future me doesn't decide to delete this post.

#I just checked my blog to see if the ao3 link was still working and omg why didn't you guys tell me my blog looks like ass #i'm so sorry i'll fix it soon that theme and color scheme is not it #the theme is fine it's just that i don't know why i picked it bc it's not my style at all #but YELLOW text on a WHITE background is unforgivable i should be arrested for that tbh #typos guaranteed bc I wrote this at 4 am #Also my bday was yesterday pretty cool right?#bully cce #canis canem edit #bully scholarship edition #bully se #bully rockstar #my oc #my ocs

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female-malice · 2 years

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What is stopping us from starting lots of little salon/house party/hangout networks?

Besides the pandemic I mean lol but this could be like tailored to the situation. Urban parks exist and some events could be there for the cautious or just outdoors lovers

I already have a (very new) library book club group and I’ve thought hm, when this has been around for a year I want to start inviting everyone who sticks around to my apartment on the regular. I mean not just like friends but more of an open “go ahead and invite your own friends too” situation for women

When I ask myself what’s stopping me most, for real, it’s fear of assholes, thieves (even if I understand why some steal), political hot points among lesbians and “lesbians” leading to cool new social circle -> circle of people who hate each other and ruin each other’s lives, and just the other kind of risks anyone always runs opening their lives to a wide circle of acquaintances and new people. How to deal?

Honestly, still a dope idea. Urban separatism >>> hippy forest cults every day of the week.

Also... can't we just have NORMAL women's agriculture and sustainability? Without the political lesbian hippy alternative medicine vibe?

I think a good metric for female separatism is the "Sophie" metric. I'm making it up as we speak. Sophie is a pro basketball player. A straight farm girl from Missouri. She's a beast physically. Like 6'1" 180 lbs of power. She's capable and skilled at a blue collar trade. She also ended up in a pro sport where straight women are the minority. She's not exactly liberal. She's religious. I doubt she even votes at all. But most of her bosses, mentors, and coworkers are lesbian women and black women.

Some fans canceled her for saying female athletes deserve better than being forced to compete against trans women lol. Problematic queen.

Anyway, the Sophie metric is simple. Is your female separatist project Sophie friendly? Is your project open to any woman with relevant skills who works well with others? Women's basketball is Sophie friendly even though she isn't politically correct.

But I really doubt the Sophies of the world want to lend their skills to political lesbian feminist women's land. Sophie has no problems working with and befriending gay women. But no one at her job is hassling her about her personal life or spirituality or politics. She chooses to spend 90% of her time around only other women. But I doubt she's ever read about separatist theory. She simply enjoys the female camaraderie in her line of work.

That should be the goal, really. Separatism should tap into women's instinctive drive for female camaraderie. The theory and books and ivory tower academic side doesn't matter if the Sophies of the world aren't interested.

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sofoulandfairaday · 2 years

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genuine question: why do you have your hogwarts house in your bio if you’re not a transphobe? i saw a post that you reblogged giving the sentiment that a sports league no longer using the name “quidditch” in order to separate themselves from jk rowling was not effective or respectful to trans people (because JKR invented the sport and is inextricably linked to it) so how is putting a hogwarts house in your bio (something made up by jkr and therefore, no matter how hard you try to separate the two, linked to her) any different from that in its logic? it only serves as an immediate surface “warning” which many trans people, poc, and others who have been victimized by jkr’s bigotry, will see and avoid.

Hello, first of all, thank you for being respectful with your question! This started out as a short post and became a very long-winded answer so I'll put it under the cut. For anyone interested, there's a TLDR at the very end.

I stand by what I said in that post: trying to make something better by changing its name and acting like that is enough is not useful or particularly clever in my opinion. Therefore, one has two choices: either you distance yourself from the material entirely, or you continue engaging with it albeit recognizing its problems.

Personally, Harry Potter has been and is a vast portion of my life. I spent entire hours of my life in this fandom, it was refuge and solace for me for years and years while growing up and I had little friends, it was comforting when I was upset and crying in my room, it was magic and enjoyment like nothing else. It is still linked to little rituals in my life and I have defined myself according to it for years. I'm 20 now and I've had "Slytherin" in my bio ever since I was 11. I started writing because of Harry Potter. I was just invited to a Harry Potter-themed birthday party by someone in my friend group for crying out loud because that's how much we love it.

As I said, revisionism doesn't work (both in theory and practice), and someone can still enjoy media while acknowledging the flaws of both author and work. That is what we do with every single author from the past. Of course, this is where you say "yes, but reading Aristophanes or Thomas Hardy or seeing a Degas or Picasso art show doesn't give profits to them directly", to which I agree. I have stopped watching her movies at the cinema, I have never seen her TCC play (even though I desperately wanted to), I haven't bought the new illustrated copies of her books (and have turned down my mother when she tried to buy them for me last Christmas), I probably won't buy the new game or new merch. I try not to give her any more money than she has because I know where her money goes (unfortunately).

I don't say all of this to justify myself (because, with all due respect, I don't have to do that to a stranger online), I'm illustrating what I have done which felt right to me. I don't think that reading Harry Potter makes you a transphobe in the same way that liking Lovecraft doesn't make you racist or enjoying Picasso doesn't make you a sexist paedophile.

JKR used to be a huge role model for me. She was the answer to the famous question "if you could have dinner with one person in the world?". Her betrayal hurt me as a cis woman and I cannot imagine how it must have felt for all of her trans fans. I understand and respect if someone feels wary or distrustful of anything Harry Potter-related, even a Hogwarts house in a bio. I understand if someone avoids me because of it.

HOWEVER, this is my internet space. This is my blog, where I post things that make me happy, whether that be theories or reblogs of fanart or whatever. I maintain that this blog is, and will always be, a safe space for LGBT+ people, TRANS PEOPLE INCLUDED. But, of course, it is well within anyone's rights to avoid it. If Harry Potter triggers you, block me. If reading "Slytherin" in my bio makes you feel like my blog could be a red flag, avoid me.

I'm sorry that it is this way, but this is a little window shop where I post my interests and reblog things I like to look at. I also post more serious things sometimes, but it's mostly MY opinion or something with which I agree. You can choose to avoid it, or you can choose to interact with it, but you must do so at your own peril, and this is the same for all things in life. You may stay around long enough to find out that I'm no transphobe, or you can leave. You can ask me respectfully (like you did, op) what my views on Harry Potter are, or you can decide I'm not worth the time. But ultimately, everyone is in charge of their own internet experience. I will always take the time to reply to the people who come knocking but I cannot tailor my blog to coddle other people's perceptions of me because today it's Harry Potter, and tomorrow it will be something else that might be misconstrued by some, many, or all.

I hope this wasn't too rambly and my point came across the way I meant it to, it's midnight where I am. If you have any more questions/want to debate this further, I'm happy to.

TLDR: I believe that liking HP doesn't automatically make you a transphobe; this blog will always be a safe space for trans people in that there will be no transphobic talk from me, BUT it is still my blog and it's your job to curate your internet experience (= if anything HP related triggers you, block me, avoid me, etc).

#harry potter #harry potter fandom #asks #jkr #jk rowling

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keanureevesisbae · 4 years

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Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Epilogue

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 4.1k

A/N: This will be Vanessa’s pov

Masterlist // Previous chapter //

9 years later

Name: Vanessa Tran-Cavill

Subject: English

Teacher: Mrs. Allen

Grade: 100/100 — Vanessa, you are such a talented writer. You raised the bar for every other essay I’m going to read in my entire career left as an English teacher. You have such a wonderful role model in your life. Please cherish your family for the rest of your life!

The one who taught me everything - an essay about Olivia Tran-Cavill, the greatest inspiration for me.

I was raised by the toughest woman alive. I know that a lot of kids say that about their mom, but allow me to explain why Olivia Tran-Cavill is the toughest woman I know in my life.

Her boyfriend left her when she told him she was pregnant with me, her own family (meaning her parents and her two brothers) practically disowned her, and on top of that she just started a job as a freshly minted veterinarian.

If I were in her shoes, I’d be terrified, struck by multiple breakdowns on a daily basis, but not my mom. She raised me all by herself, barely having a break or a moment of her own. I was her number one priority. She told me to be kind, to be honest and polite: personality traits that provide me with the best today and for all the days to come in the future.

There was only one thing that I desperately wanted and that was a family. I wanted a dad like the kids in my class. I wanted grandparents. I wanted aunts and uncles. I wanted to have little siblings, because I knew that I would be a great big sister.

Unfortunately that wasn’t in the stars for me and my mom told me that. It takes a brave woman to say to her young child: ‘Your real dad doesn’t want you. Your grandparents kicked me out the second they found out I was pregnant with you. Your uncles never spoke to me again.’

It hurt obviously. There were people walking around here that shared DNA with me, that were family, but they made it pretty clear that they didn’t want me nor my mother. To this day they still haven’t reached out and they honestly don’t know what they are missing out on. At least, that is what my mom always tells me.

But my mom always told me that family wasn’t all about sharing DNA, it was about finding people that you want in your life. You can choose who your family is.

Despite that wonderful piece of advice that I definitely took to heart, I continued to make her a drawing every single day. My mom and I inside our house and outside there is a man with a dog, waiting to be allowed into our life.

Waiting to become a dad.

My dad.

One day my mom was on call and had to go to the clinic at night. She took me with her and that’s the day we met Henry and his dog Kal. Little did we all know that at that exact moment, our lives drastically changed.

Henry was more of a dad in the first hour that I had met him, then my real dad was in my entire life. For the first time in life, I had a dad figure. A man who cared not only about me, but also about my mom.

Being with Henry never drastically changed my mom. She was still the bad ass mom I always had, but it did softened her up. It made her relaxed. Henry gave her what she deserved all those years of raising me by herself. Letting someone take care of her too. There is only so much a six year old could give back to a powerhouse like her mom, but there is so much more a man like Henry Cavill can give her.

He provided us with a family. A grandma, a granddad and four lovely uncles.

And for that I have to thank my mom. She allowed Henry into her life, thus into my life and gave us six amazing Cavill family members, who cared about us and loved us up to this day.

Now, I admire her every single day. The way she takes care of not only me, but also my three sisters, is something I feel like I can never live up to. Whenever some of us walk into the room, her face lights up and she drops everything to give us her full attention.

And for that I am so incredibly thankful. She taught me so much. How to love, how to catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and she taught me that it is okay to be scared, but that it should never stop you from pursuing what you want to achieve.

I know my mom was scared when she got pregnant and was dropped by all the people she thought she could trust and rely on, but it never stopped her from pursuing what she wanted: to be a great mother and an excellent veterinarian. Knowing that, I’m going to try to be the best version of myself, though I know damn well that I can never be as amazing as her.

For me, my mom is the most influential person in my life and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

≫≫≪≪

With my freshly graded essay, I walk towards my locker. This is such a great way to end the week. I worked my ass off on this essay and the fact that mrs. Allen gave me the full hundred out of hundred points is unbelievable. She never gives people higher than ninety points probably. I feel like I’m the first student in her entire career to score the highest grade possible.

‘There she is.’ I look up to see Trey walking up to me, already undoing his tie. He always tells me that he hates that thing with a passion and while I suggest he uses a clip on tie (like half the school does), he keeps on wearing the regular one. I think it’s so he can continue to bitch about it. ‘You’re going to Jimmy’s party tonight, right?’

I shake my head. ‘I’m sorry, Trey, I can’t. I have plans with my family.’

‘The entire family?’ he asks, as he leans against the row of lockers besides mine.

‘Yes, the entire family.’

‘And there is absolutely no change at all that you can ditch them?’

I can’t stop my chuckle. Usually I go out on Friday, especially if Trey invites me, but right now I really can’t go. ‘It’s important,’ I say to him. I see him fake pouting, causing me to roll my eyes. ‘Come on, don’t pout. Jimmy has parties every two weeks. I’ll be at the next one.’

Trey grins. ‘I’ll hold you to that, V. Tell your mom I said hi and also say that to your dad, because I’m afraid he’ll kick my ass next time he sees me. Oh, and say hi to your sisters, will you?’

A few weeks ago Trey came over to my place, because we were going to do algebra homework together (and because we wanted to spend time together). Dad was ready to embarrass the shit out of me (I think he has been waiting for this moment since he adopted me to be honest—he seemed to well prepared), but mom swooped right in and Trey felt instantly at ease. Ever since then, he asks me how she is doing when I see him at school.

I know it’s tough for Trey. He wasn’t raised with a mother, since she passed away during his birth, but her three brothers raised him. He loves them dearly and because of that, he can handle my dad’s antics just fine. However it’s nice for him to have a motherly figure in his life, since his uncles never dated (they would get along well with my uncles) and my mom is the right person for that.

After that algebra homework moment we had, he has been coming over a lot more often and just a few days ago, I saw him giving my mom a hug. When I asked her about it, she told me that he always likes it when he is here and it turns out, that he told her all about growing up with only his uncles and how she feels like a mom figure to him. I like how he is welcomed into my family. My sisters are absolutely smitten with him and they love it when I bring him over, since they wished I was a boy, so they could have a brother.

It’s always nice to know that your sisters love you for who you are.

‘You know, you can come over too,’ I say, not wanting Trey to leave. ‘If you want to of course.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asks, but he already has a telling smile on his face. ‘I just don’t want to intrude an important event.’

‘You won’t,’ I laugh. ‘It’s been ten years since my dad officially adopted me. We’re going to celebrate at my grandparents’ place. My uncles will be there, my aunt, nephews and my sisters.’

Trey smiles. ‘Well, if you invite me.’

I close my locker and say: ‘We are going to celebrate this whole weekend, but you can only stay today if you want to, so you won’t miss Jimmy’s party.’

‘I don’t really care about Jimmy’s party,’ Trey admits. ‘I only wanted to spend time with you.’

It’s obvious that we have a crush on each other, it’s just that I’m afraid of committing. He doesn’t seem to mind though, that pull my hand back when he wants to hold it and that we haven’t kissed, though we’ve been on a few dates.

‘So,’ Trey says as we walk out of the school, ‘your dad adopted you ten years ago.’

I nod. ‘Yeah, he made me an official Cavill from that day. If I’m being completely honest, I never thought I’d have a dad. I always thought that it was going to be me, my mom and my pleads for a dad. For such a long time I thought it was enough, though deep down I wanted a dad, but sometimes it’s just not meant for everyone, right?’

Trey nods. ‘Right.’

‘I still remember the day we met him and Kal,’ I say. ‘And I just knew that I wanted that man as my father. I was six and though I need saw my mom with a man, I just knew that they were meant for each other, you know. We were standing around the examination table, because Kal was sick and I thought to myself that this was the man that not only I wanted in my life, but my mom needed as well.’

Trey’s fingers brush against mine and I hold onto his hand, for the first time in the weeks that we are circling around each other.

I think back to the times where it was just my mom and I. She was so strong for all those years of raising me, telling me the painful truth about my biological dad, my grandparents and uncles from her side of the family, arranging all different sorts of shifts at the animal clinic and bringing me to work when necessary.

I admire my mother and the way she carefully picked out a man that was worthy of becoming my dad, of adopting me and giving me his last name. I had been Vanessa Tran for so many years, but becoming Vanessa Tran-Cavill, had been such a blessing and for the first time in seven years, I had a dad, someone who cared about me.

Someone who loved me.

And right now, I have seen how much he loved my mom, me and my sisters. I admired the way dad took care of us, while still having an acting career. He played in seven movies since I met him and five of those were being filmed here in the UK, since he didn’t want to leave us for too long.

He posts about us on Instagram sometimes, but always disables the comments. A lot of people know that I’m his daughter, but they mostly find out when we’ve known each other for a while.

Trey and I get out of the bus, but I stop him, before we walk off to my grandparents’ house. ‘I just want to prepare you. I have four nosey uncles and a granddad who just starts to talk, not knowing when to stop.’

‘It’s nothing I can’t handle,’ he laughs. ‘Remember, I grew up with three uncles and their friends. This will be peanuts.’

I smile. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’ I squeeze his hand. ‘Trey, before we go into the backyard, I have to admit something.’

‘I like you too,’ he says. ‘And I don’t mind taking it slow.’

My eyes widen. ‘How did you know I was going to say that?’

‘You’re predictable, Tran.’ Trey smiles and I roll my eyes. ‘It’s honestly no big deal. I really like you and your family and though I feel comfortable enough to go at my pace, I don’t want to force you into stuff.’ He gives me a squeeze back in my hand. ‘Your pace and no one else’s.’ He pulls me to him and wraps me up in a tight hug. I feel his chin on top of my head and I let out a sigh, before I close my eyes, nuzzling my face in his chest. This feels nice, I could get used to this.

I pull back a little, to carefully press a kiss on his jaw. ‘Come on, let’s go,’ I say, pulling him with me to the gate at the back of the yard. Together we walk into the backyard and I see everyone is already there. Uncles Piers, Niki and Charlie are standing near the barbecue, as my nine year old sister Elodie is poking Charlie in his sides. Belle has wrapped her arms around uncle Simon’s neck, giving him tons of kisses. Belle’s two year old son Hugh is trying to kick the ball, but he misses and falls flat on his bum. He waddles over to Belle, who is currently expecting another boy in four months.

My five year old sisters Chloe and Heather are the first to notice me. ‘Vanessa!’ they scream in unison, rushing towards me and wrapping their arms around my waist. ‘We missed you.’

‘I missed you guys too,’ I chuckle.

‘And you brought Trey!’ Chloe notices, jumping in his arms. ‘You are staying here for the barbecue?’

‘Of course,’ Trey says with a smile. ‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world, munchkin.’

Everyone looks up and gives me hugs and introduce themselves to Trey if they haven’t met him already. Grandpa Colin gives me a big hug and slips fifty pounds not only in my hand, but also in Trey’s hand. ‘So you can take her out on a date, young man,’ he tells Trey.

When we walk over to my parents, Trey says: ‘Damn, I get fifty pounds for showing up here. Should I tell your grandad when my birthday is?’

‘Don’t,’ I say sternly, pinching his side.

Kal licks my hand and I scratch him on top of his head. He is not fat anymore (as if my mother would allow that). He is also not as active as he used to be when I met him, but he is still the most loyal and biggest sweetheart in the world, always taking care of me and my sisters.

My mom holds out her arms and Trey doesn’t hesitate for a minute to be engulfed in her arms. Dad wraps his arms around my waist and bumps his nose against my cheek. Elodie, Chloe and Heather often wonder why we do that, but it’s our thing and it’ll always be our thing. ‘There you are, sunshine,’ he says.

‘It’s a special day today,’ I say. ‘You have any regrets?’

He scoffs. ‘Are you kidding me? As if I could have regrets.’

‘You still have the receipt?’

He laughs. ‘Like I would ever use that.’ He gives me a kiss on my cheek and says: ‘You brought your boyfriend with you, I see.’

Normally I’d protest against his antics, but now… I actually don’t mind. I quite like it actually. I like the idea of Trey being my boyfriend. ‘Well, yeah.’

Dad gives me a big kiss, before he places me on my feet again. Trey wipes his hands clean on his jeans, before he extends his hand to my dad. I don’t quite know what happens after that, because mom pulls me into a hug. Though I’m seventeen now and my mom is reaching the forty already, she barely aged.

It’s admirable, really. After she gave birth to Elodie and she lost that much blood, it was the scariest experience in my life. I thought, with the way everyone was looking at each other when dad called, my mom would die. It took her six months to recover and I helped out the best I could, but I knew that asking for another sibling too soon, wouldn’t help. Four years after she had Elodie, she became pregnant with twins and after that she did not want more kids. Ideally she wanted three, I remember her saying that to dad, but now she had four and though she loved it, it was enough.

‘How was school?’ mom asks.

‘It was great. I got my English essay back.’

‘Oh really? How did you do?’

‘I’ll tell you in a minute.’

Mom tilts her head when she looks at Henry and Trey, who seem to hit it off actually. ‘You chose a good one,’ she tells me. ‘So proud of you, sweetheart.’ Mom wraps her arm around my waist and gives me a kiss. ‘Oh no, mom!’ she yells to grandma Marianne. ‘Wait, don’t carry everything.’ Mom rushes off to the kitchen and I can’t hide my smile.

I’m happy that all these people are my family. From the looks of Trey, he actually is a bit nervous. I walk up to him and my dad and wrap my arm around his hips. He is tense, but wraps his arm around my shoulders. ‘You’re not bugging him, are you, dad?’

‘No, of course not,’ he says, but I cock my eyebrow, causing him to say: ‘Just asking him what he will do with that fifty pound your grandpa gave him.’

Of course my dad noticed that.

He excuses himself, walking up to the barbecue, lifting up Elodie in the process. I look up at Trey and I ask: ‘I thought you said this would be peanuts?’

‘It will be peanuts,’ he tells me. ‘Just have to warm up a bit.’ He smiles, pearly white teeth framed by his full lips. ‘This definitely helps.’

‘Okay, love birds,’ uncle Niki yells, ‘come on. We’re getting ready to eat.’

I feel a blush creep up on my cheeks, but despite that, I still chuckle. He laces his fingers through mine, as we walk to the big table in the backyard under the parasol. ‘I just want to say one thing,’ grandma Marianne says, ‘and that is that I want to thank my son for overfeeding his dog, so he met the greatest veterinarian of all times, who—together with her oldest daughter—brought so much joy and happiness into the family.’

‘Mom, it has been ten years!’ dad says. ‘Please, let it go. I’m not overfeeding Kal anymore.’

It has been an ongoing joke, every time my dad gives Kal a little snack, at least one of the entire Cavill Clan says something along the lines of that we have to hide the other snacks.

‘But anyways,’ grandma says, ‘I am so happy that now we are this big and happy family. It’s all I really wanted.’

Everyone takes a deep breath, because we all realize that it could’ve gone so differently. I clear my throat and say: ‘I got my English essay back and got myself a hundred out of a hundred points.’

‘Shut up!’ uncle Piers says. ‘You got a perfect score? When was the last time something like that happened with us?’

‘None of you boys ever got a perfect score,’ grandpa Colin says. He sometimes can’t remember how to use the remote, what my sisters or my name is, but this he knows.

‘Anyways,’ I say, ‘it does have something to do with what happened ten years ago. I mean, becoming officially a Cavill has been the greatest thing ever. I watched my life do a complete one eighty and though I have to thank my dad for that, there is one woman who absolutely changed my life and is such a wonderful role model for not only me, but also my sisters, that I decided to write my essay about my mom.’

Mom’s eyes widen, before she scrunches up her nose. ‘Why?’

This is such a typical reaction from her, so I cannot stop my laugh. ‘Because mom, you are amazing. Everything that I have, started with you. Everything I understand, I do, I think about, is because of the way you took care of me and raised me. I know that I tell you this a lot, but mom, I love you so so much and everything you did for me, it’s so admirable. I owe so much to you.’

Mom clears her throat. ‘Oh sweetie,’ she mumbles. ‘You don’t owe me anything.’

‘You did so well, mom,’ I whisper. ‘I’m so lucky to have been raised by you.’

She grabs my hand and gives me a loving squeeze. ‘Sweetheart, could you come with me for a second?’

The two of us walk inside of the house, as we hear conversation strike up behind us. The second we are out of sight, she wraps her arms around me. This is what she always does, not wanting to cry in front of the other Cavills, always going to a secluded place. ‘I love you, Vanessa,’ she whispers. ‘I think I’ve done a pretty good job with you.’

I can’t help but laugh. ‘You did an excellent job, mom. You are honestly the biggest power house I’ve ever met.’

‘Could you imagine what would’ve happened if Belle was able to baby sit you?’ mom asks. ‘Because you, my love, charmed yourself a way into your father’s heart.’

I chuckle. ‘I kinda did, didn’t I?’

Mom smiles, as she holds tightly onto my hands. ‘I know you always thank me for giving you the family you always wanted, but remember: if you weren’t so instantly in love with your dad, I don’t know if I had given it a shot to be honest.’

That is such a weird thought, I think to myself. I always stop myself when I want to think about the ‘what ifs’ and my entire family never really brought it up. Maybe when I was younger, but never with me. But what if indeed I were to stay over at Belle’s place, I would’ve never known that Henry was there probably. Imagine the life that we would’ve had. Maybe I had given my biological father Wesley a chance and then I didn’t have my three wonderful sisters.

‘What are you two doing here? Poor Trey is being questioned by Niki, Charlie and grandpa and the old man is not holding back.’ My dad walks in and though he has reached the ripe age of forty eight, he is still the tall and bulked up man that I met in the examination room. He is still the man that loved me like I was his own.

‘Just thanking my daughter for being such a lovely girl, who charmed her way into your heart.’

‘Oh, you sure did,’ dad says with a smile. ‘My lovely sunshine, I love you so much and I can’t believe it’s been more than ten years since I met you and your mom.’ He wraps his arms around us and says: ‘Though I still feel the fear of Kal vomiting on the carpet with blood, I am so grateful that you picked up and the other clinics didn’t.’ He presses a kiss on my mom’s forehead.

‘Dad, when did you realize you were in love with mom?’

‘Well, I told myself that I shouldn’t have a crush on someone that I barely knew,’ dad says, ‘but I can tell you that deep down in my heart I knew that this beautiful woman stole my heart the second she said the seven words that I’ll never forget. Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat.’

≫≫≪≪

Bonus instagram posts:

Elodie and Vanessa

Elodie with Olivia

Pregnant with twins!

Pre teen Vanessa showing Henry that he is an actual boomer

Chloe and Heather

Vanessa as a teenager

Elodie as a teenager

Chloe and Heather as teenagers

A/N: soooo this is the end of this wonderful story, though I wish this would go on forever. Thank you so much to all the people who have been reading this, leaving lovely comments. Thanks to this story I gained so many new followers. I never expected it to blow up like this haha. Not to self promote but will do anyway, but please check out my other works if you haven’t already (and if you want to of course, I’m not going to force you to read my other fics) and of course I’ll be back with other fun projects, that I obviously will announce like usual 🤗

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fandom #mister cavill your dog is kinda fat #henry cavill x Olivia Tran

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atruththatyoudeny · 4 years

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Monthly Reads | October 2020

Happy 28th! I probably sound like a broken record already but I have to say it again: this fandom has an insane amount of talented writers! I am in awe! Every single one of you is my hero! ♥♥♥ Here are all the 23 fics I read and loved this month:

✧ Welcome to The Rivalry | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - enemies to lovers - rivalry - college - 19k “Welcome home!” Niall yelled, clapping his hands in excitement. “Isn’t it great?” Louis looked between Niall and the house, unsure how to respond. “I don’t understand,” Louis finally managed to say. “Aren’t we a little old to be living so close to campus?” Niall scoffed. “You’re only twenty-four for fuck’s sake. There is still plenty of partying left for us to do. What better place than one street over from where a car was set on fire after the Michigan game last year?” “Is there proof of that? Did the car have Michigan plates or something? Is there a photo I can send in a DM to Wolfie?” As if on cue, a Twitter notification popped up on Louis’ Apple watch. He had tweeted again. Or a reverse You’ve Got Mail au inspired by the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry. Featuring duplex neighbors, (kind of) enemies to lovers, and an anonymous Twitter feud between omega Louis and alpha Harry.

✧ Back to Seventeen | crimsontheory | teacher - soccer coach - 26k As a first grade teacher in a small town in Illinois, Harry’s life is pretty simple. He loves his job, is close with his family, and has a best friend he would go to the ends of the earth for. When a new soccer coach starts at the local high school, things start to get a bit more exciting for Harry. Because that coach just happens to be Louis Tomlinson; the guy Harry was unrequitedly in love with in high school. Or the one where Louis moves back to his hometown and Harry realizes he’s still not over his high school crush.

✧ Sigh for Sigh | logogram | historical - a/b/o - regency - miscommunication - pining - marriage of convenience - 11k When his father's sudden illness forces Harry to get married in a hurry, he's delighted that Lord Louis Tomlinson is the one who makes him an offer. Being married to Louis is just as wonderful as he imagined, except for one thing-- they haven't mated yet. Or the one where they're both idiots, Harry's afraid to say what he's thinking, and Louis's just trying to be honorable.

✧ We Can Find a Place to Feel Good | yeah_alright | 1960s - High School - school dances - 8k 14-year-old Harry is ecstatic to finally be old enough to experience the time-honored tradition of school dances. But with each year that passes and each dance he attends, he’s realizing they’re not all he used to hope they’d be. Especially when he can't actually dance with the person he most wants to. Maybe he and Louis can figure out their own ways to keep dancing, anyway.

✧ At Risk, I Fold | clare328 | canon compliant - established relationship - angst - emotional hurt/comfort - miscommunication - anxiety - implied/referenced alcohol abuse - 15k 2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

✧ Carry These Feelings | LadyLondonderry | fae Á faires - established relationship - magic - 3k Harry is one of the fae, and has to return to Court once a year to please the Queen. He makes a detour on his way home to Louis. Two weeks and I'll be home.

✧ Hung Up High in the Gallery | lovelarry10 | friends to lovers - slow burn - pining - 14k "Louis, lay still!” Louis sighed loudly, and Harry watched his chest puff out as he inhaled deeply, the breath he let out loudly making Harry’s curls shift. “I am, stop being so fussy. Can I see yet?” “Nope,” Harry remarked, smiling to himself. “I’m doing your chest next. Shit, this is going to look so good, Lou. Your tan and these colours… why haven’t we done this before?” “Because we haven’t been this drunk in a while, and it never occurred to me until tonight?” ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ When Harry’s best friend, Louis, comes to support him at his art show, he decides they need to do some celebrating afterwards. How fast do the lines between friends and lovers get blurred ... or better, get painted?

✧ Love you in the dark | Perzikje | historical - wedding night - arranged marriage - dubious consent - 10k The story of a historical wedding night: in which Louis is quite unaware as to just how clueless his brand new husband is about sex. They try their best to figure it out together.

✧ Victorian Boy | audreyhheart | historical - victorian - royalty - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - angst - murder mystery - 101k Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

✧ the anticipation of knowing you | sweetrevenge | strangers to lovers - neighbors - light angst - 13k Hello Neighbor! Just wanted to let you know that you were having sex so loud and scarily I called our building manager and security officer because I thought you were hurt. P.S. I sent them away when I heard you yell ‘cock’. I’m sorry that I heard that, but I wanted you to know in case they stopped by to check on you or something. Sorry! Your neighbor Louis Tomlinson in apartment #306 After Louis overhears his next door neighbor having sex, he doesn’t really expect anything but awkward hallway encounters to come from it. Instead, he’s surprised to find himself in a whirlwind pen pal relationship with the sweet, albeit loud, baker next door.

✧ We'll Be All Right | dandelionfairies | married couple - accridents - 13k Harry is performing his one night only show in LA but there are four very important people missing.

✧ The Last Song of Your Life | reminiscingintherain | famous/not famous - Rays of Sunhsine - homophobia - 21k As Harry glanced around at all of the faces, he froze as a very familiar pair of blue eyes leapt out at him. A pair of eyes that he hadn’t seen since before the One Direction bomb exploded. A pair of eyes that he never expected to see again. ~~~~ or the famous/not famous AU, with first love, miscommunication, interfering bandmates, and adorable little sisters.

✧ Her | jaerie | a/b/o - trans character - transitioning - dysphoria - anxiety - quarantine - 7k The buttery swipe of a high quality lipstick was almost a sexual experience in and of itself. This time a deep colour with purple undertones which drew out the emphasis of long, dark lashes and perfectly contoured cheekbones. It was a look for loose and styled curls, feeling the classy formal nightclub vibes reflected back from the mirror. The silky plum coloured slip dress would be perfect to debut. The tags still needed to be cut free from the new garment that hung in the closet, but tonight was the night to set it free. When Harry gets home, she can finally be who she wants to be. Letting someone else in always feels like a distant daydream to her... until it suddently isn't.

✧ Loving You's the Antidote | lululawrence | Stylinshaw - a/b/o - touch deprivation - hospitalization - soulmates - polyamory - anxiety - friends to lovers - no smut - 11k Nick and Harry had never been an obvious match. When eighteen-year-old Harry, newly presented as an omega, came home freshly bonded to Nick, a man nine years his elder and a beta no less, Anne had been more than skeptical and Eileen had shared some harsh words of her own. That didn’t deter them, though, and their families soon realised there really was something special about the bondmates that allowed them to work together almost seamlessly. It was only a few months later that Harry started getting sick. Or the one where Harry and Nick have been able to keep Harry's disorder at bay over the course of their relationship, but when they move to London and away from their support system, they find themselves in desperate need of help.

✧ Like A Neon Sign | reminiscingintherain | canon compliant - mentions of death - fluff - 8k Harry had always been perfect to Louis, through every age, through every stage, and in all the important ways, he was proud to have been able to witness the growth that Harry had experienced first-hand.

✧ We Had Everything | lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes) | exes to lovers - getting back together - famous/not famous - 3k “You know Harry’s coming, yeah?” Louis’ fingers twitched, faltering where he was straightening the knot in his tie as he tried to ignore the false nonchalance in Zayn’s voice. He had no idea how he missed the name on the invite list, how he skipped over the initials on the small gifts, didn’t notice the elegant swirl of Harry’s name inked onto an emerald green place card. Or, Louis and Harry fell apart, and Louis' never forgiven himself. He gets a second chance at Zayn and Liam's wedding.

✧ True To Your Heart | reminiscingintherain | Mulan AU - a/b/o - 13k The world was at war with itself. In the small country of Enilenif, in a tiny, often overlooked corner of the world, young Alphas were quickly signing up to fight, desperate to protect their Omegas and their country as Aidem began to attack their borders. A few defiant Omegas tried to enlist as well, but were firmly turned away with disapproving looks by the staff in the office. Harry Styles was one such Omega, sighing heavily as he kicked at a small stone on his walk home.

✧ What the Water Gave Me | larryatendoftheday | fantasy - mermaids - long distance relationship - 29k When a mermaid crawls out of the sea to listen to Harry sing, it changes everything.

✧ it’s hard for me to go home | localopa | angst - breakup - getting back together - 5k don’t call me baby again

✧ The Prince and the Thief | jaerie | Fairy Tale - a/b/o - strangers to lovers - violence - kidnapping - threats of rape/non-con - 19k Harry is an omega prince locked in a tower and Louis is the thief sent to kidnap him. Nothing turns out as planned.

✧ Up On The Shore | wordsnnotes | Eroda AU - magic - epistolary - friends to lovers - childhood friends - emotional/psychological abuse - angst - long-distance relationship - domestic violence - 34k Magic has been outlawed on Eroda ever since President Cowell came into power, and all the magic people had to go live on the island of Stonell. Things are not looking good for Harry when he finds out he's a magician and his abilities seem more and more out of control. Thankfully, his best friend Niall's mother has the idea to put him in touch with Louis, a magician boy living on Stonell. They begin a secret correspondence and drama ensues. Or: Louis hides his feelings under sarcasm, Harry is too sweet for his own sake, everyone is a rebel, the mums are amazing, Harry's dad is a jerk, and I'm struggling to make it understandable without using normal narration.

✧ this town's just an ocean now | louistomlinsons | exes to lovers - friends to lovers - summer romance - miscommunication - childhood friends - light angst - fluff - 31k “I have really great friends. Do you remember Louis? You guys were always hanging out when you were growing up.” Harry remembers Louis. Harry remembers Louis. Suddenly, his throat feels way too dry, despite the ice cream he keeps licking at. He chokes a little on a chocolate chip before saying, “I, uh. I remember Louis.” Her face brightens. “We have dinner every Sunday. He owns the house now. His parents moved further north, and he wanted to stay here, so they just gave it over. Now if you want to worry about someone being lonely, that’s who I worry about.” inspired by watermelon sugar, featuring picnics on the beach and boys being dumb

✧ I Am the Blinking Light | dearmrsawyer | ghosts - shipwreck - 19k There is a legend of a lighthouse far out to sea. It can’t be found on any map, and those who do find it never return. They say a ghost haunts the lighthouse, and you can hear it calling out in loneliness on the ocean waves.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #monthly reads #completed fics #larry fics

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clansayeed · 4 years

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Bound by Circumstance ― Chapter 24: Better the Devil You Don’t (Epilogue)

PAIRING: Nik Ryder x trans*M!MC (Taylor Hunter) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Circumstance ⥽

Taylor Hunter (MC) has made it good for himself in New Orleans; turns out moving to a new city fresh out of college to reinvent yourself isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Things only start to get confusing when he finds himself the target of a malevolent wraith. Good thing someone’s looking out for him though — because without Nighthunter Nik Ryder as his bodyguard he definitely won’t survive long in the twisting darkness of the supernatural underworld he’s tripped into.

Bound by Circumstance and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the book Nightbound and the rest of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Circumstance only loosely follows the events and plotline of Nightbound, and features a separate antagonist, different character motivations, and further worldbuilding.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Circumstance/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Someone does right by Cadence.

note: And with that Bound by Circumstance is ended! I’ll start posting book 3, Bound by Choice, in a day or so! Book 3 is the only book in the series not based off of an existing Choices book, and follows the story of the Trinity in a series of flashback vignettes. Taylor and the Nightbound gang will return in book 4!

Also, Bound by Choice is currently in-progress, as opposed to books 1 & 2 which were completed at the time of posting. Once I catch up on the last chapters posted, my updating schedule will go to the weekly update my AO3 is on.

[READ IT ON AO3]

A few weeks later…

[TEXT]: hurry up [TEXT]: where r u??? [TEXT]: ur loss I’m not waiting [TEXT]: BUZZKILL!!! [TEXT]: pic.jpg

The picture does it — finally draws his attention away from his computer to where his phone screen changes from 01:07 to 01:08 as if to taunt him.

It takes Cadence a moment to realize the woman next to Kathy in her (blurry) self-taken photo is supposed to be Ivy. So used to seeing her true form in person — but glamours don’t fade on digital recording.

And who else do they know dresses like she’s always ready to attend a Victorian funeral?

In his friend’s defense Cade was supposed to be at the Shift over an hour ago.

She’ll hear his excuses and his apologies, pretend as though he’s committed the greatest sin in history — but come sunrise and sobriety he’ll be forgiven. The Nighthunter likes to make everyone think she’s the picture of cool nonchalance; the human equivalent of a cat.

But anyone who feeds strays knows just how affectionate cats can be when they so choose.

He shuts down his work, fighting the instinctual habit to leave most of it out and make his space look clean by pushing it to the sides of his desk — actually putting things back in their folders and boxes.

Tap-tap.

His head jerks up quick enough for his glasses to threaten flight. Working in this particular space for over a decade now, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t know about Odd Cadence and his odd hours; how he refuses to work in the daylight due to a debilitating allergy.

Even Gary from night maintenance wouldn’t bother.

Tap-tap.

He listens for a heartbeat. Can hear everything from the rush of water through old plumbing to the coo of pigeons scavenging on the outside Square.

Tap—

Isadora de la Rosa doesn’t get to finish her genteel knocking; pale hand hovering just shy of the taller vampire’s collarbone as he holds the door open.

She looks a little dumbfounded for him to have answered. That’s silly, though, since she was in his territory now.

The air is thick with a tension not felt since Mardi Gras those weeks ago. She looks ready to turn and leave without a word between them. He almost lets her.

“Izzy,” by way of greeting, and even though she now runs the dynasty her father built he struggles to call her anything but the petulant youthful human woman he first met her as, “I was just heading out.”

He gives her a chance; sees the opportunity for escape that flickers in her weathered eyes no longer young but no less defiant by nature.

Some people were just born ready to stand their ground. He always admired that about her.

“This won’t take long.”

One step forward, one step back. A familiar dance neither acknowledges as Isadora invites herself into his space. She’s not the oldest thing in the room by far, nor the most expensive. Still she commands the air around her to whisper softer, for the floorboards under her heels to wait until she passes to creak.

“Sure, come on in…”

She makes a point of trying to keep an arms’ length between her body and any clutter. He won’t apologize for it, not to her. She was half the reason he’s like this.

“I’m glad to see the Museum is treating you well.”

“Uh-huh.” He’s never met a de la Rosa good at small talk. He still hasn’t.

But she keeps trying. It’s hard not to cringe at every forced word, how she purposefully finds something to look at and mention; “New project, I see.”

Cadence doesn’t answer. She switches a black leather briefcase from one hand to the other; a poised woman’s version of shuffling her feet.

“You always were best kept —”

“I have somewhere to be.”

Her quirked brow says it all; how she definitely doesn’t believe him but calling him out on it is somehow counterproductive to why she’s here.

Why is she here?

Because the only reason he can conjure up has to do with the Coven, and the Council, and that’s why they’re enjoying nights like these at the Shift. To forget about everything that happened — to move on.

“Look, Izzy — if this is something that can wait, can it? I’ve got office hours tomorrow night—or hell, I’ll even come ‘round to the family house. But I do have somewhere to be, and I’m already late.”

When she takes stock of the room again he understands. It’s a tactic — and not a very good one — to allow her to think.

They’ve never been like this before. So why now?

It’s a brief flicker; blink-and-you-miss-it type. But Cadence doesn’t miss it — how Izzy stares at the chair claimed by Katherine in permanent marker.

“You’re going to meet her, the Nighthunter.”

“My friend Katherine, yes. Among others.”

“She treads dangerous waters in this town.”

It sounds a little too much like a threat for Cade’s comfort. Makes it a real effort to keep from letting it get to him.

“I think the same could be said for any hunter.” For Katherine, for Ryder.

“Yes, you would know,” she clasps the case handle with both hands over her front; a shield between them, “though this one — she’s different, isn’t she? She’s well-connected.”

Like he’s been fumbling around in the dark of his head — he finally finds the lamp chain and tugs. Lets the light flood through with an “Ah” of understanding.

So that’s what this is about.

“Contrary to what you may believe this isn’t the same world Carlo built his dynasty in. Humans — even Nighthunters and especially out-of-towners — they don’t whisper the rules to one another anymore.” Then, with firm conviction; “Katherine didn’t know she needed to ask your father for permission to bring Adrian Raines into town.”

“But you did.”

“Yeah, I did.”

If she’s here to enact some sort of delayed punishment, Cadence can’t promise he’ll stay civil. “I weighed the risks carefully,” he continues, “and decided it was best for everyone that no one knew who didn’t need to know.” Not that it had been a good choice. Maybe it could have saved Raines at his trial.

Sometimes he wonders why the two of them didn’t work out — especially when she was Turned. It wasn’t because of her perceived age, and obviously being his boss’ daughter hadn’t stopped them from getting involved in the first place.

He always remembers not a moment later. There’s a reason the term is ‘opposites attract.’ They were too similar — too hot in the head and both prone to speaking and acting without thinking ahead. Without considering the consequences.

So when she isn’t sneering an insult at him on the heels of Cade actually admitting to his wrongdoing… he knows something is very wrong.

“Izzy…?”

And the smile she offers is too forced, too fake. Sends shivers down his spine. “I’m glad you see things that way.”

“What way?”

She unclasps the briefcase with a flick of her little fingers. “That sometimes, in rare cases I think, withholding knowledge from someone is for the best; for all parties involved.

“I had prepared to give you this the night of the Minotaur’s championship fight…” The leather bound folder she pulls free is familiar only in that he’s seen the de la Rosa lawyers carry them like extensions of their hands. “And I have spent many hours since debating whether or not I made the right choice in keeping it close. Watching you in the cage — that made it easier.”

“Something’s happening, Kath—”

“Don’t fight it. Let it swallow you whole.”

Let it swallow you whole.

Katherine couldn’t possibly have known just how accurate she had been.

How it felt to stand at the edge of a yawning abyss no one else could see… and how it felt to have the ground fall out from under his feet the moment he decided to jump.

Memories of what happened after his meeting with Isadora still only came to him in clusters. It was less the act of remembering than feeling the same way — sensory triggers like the smell of blood or the tinny grate of a chain link fence.

Of course she had seen the fight. There were members of the underground community still who approached him on the street with praise for his ‘performance,’ or thanking him for standing up to the illegal deals Persephone covered with velvet and glitter.

But there’s a difference between knowing something and knowing it. Knowing the same hand he used to caress her cheek had also torn off the Minotaur’s horn. Knowing she was witness to it…

Isadora’s touch is solid, without the heat humans bring or the chill they feel. It simply is as she gives him the folder with no other choice. Whatever secrets rest inside they are his burden now.

“What you see here… I ask that you please not think less of me for keeping it from you. I was…” she doesn’t give an excuse — not a single one, “I was doing what I thought was right. But I cannot be the one to make that choice anymore. It’s too much Cadence; it’s far too much.”

He means to find comfort or some understanding in their hands. But there’s none to be found.

They pull away as intimate strangers. The space between them cavernous and echoing — and it only grows wider as he realizes she isn’t the one creating it.

He doesn’t need to ask what mystery he now holds.

What other mystery is there but the thing that has plagued him from their first “hello” to this their last “goodbye?”

Cadence’s voice is calm, even to his own ears. “Is this everything?”

“All that my daughter could find among his possessions.”

“And if I have any questions…”

“No,” she interrupts, “no you may not bring them to me. I would rather meet the sun than invite the conflict this will bring into my city, to my family’s doorstep.”

He wants to call her selfish but can’t say he wouldn’t be the same way were their roles reversed.

It’s a nice fantasy—altruism, kindness, doing the right thing so as not to hurt someone close—but it is a fantasy.

So what if he carried the ring she returned to him for a decade in mourning?

And intuition is a very separate thing from mind-reading; that he knows. In Isadora, though, the lines between them have always been a little smudged.

“In case you have any ideas of this meaning…” she breathes and tries again, “just know this has nothing to do with our past, Cadence. Consider this to be an act of release. Beyond what the Council will ask of us, I wash my hands of you.”

Isadora’s decision is as clear now as it was then. She will always choose her family over him. He can’t begrudge her that in the least.

“If only it were that simple.” But it’s probably for the best.

She leaves as abruptly as she arrived. Somehow with the ability to disrupt everything in his space without touching a single thing. As he looks around the office now it feels tainted with secrets and lies; all the things he still doesn’t know that now rest in his hand.

He need only look.

The chair is less than five steps away but he can’t muster the energy to move both his legs and arms; chooses the latter because what comparison is comfort to answers?

Cadence opens the folder and begins to read.

#nightbound #bloodbound #playchoices fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices nb #oc: cadence smith #oblv: bound by circumstance #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

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mautadite · 4 years

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june book round up

18 books this month! this is late because i just couldn’t find the time to sit down and write it but it’s finally here! and i completed my reading challenge! whoo! mostly e-books and audiobooks once again, and also a good few arcs. (i’m still so proud to be able to say that lol.)

the 7 1/2 deaths of evelyn hardcastle - stuart turton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a murder mystery/thriller that takes place in the midst of a house party. kind of a groundhog day thing; the same day repeats over and over, and one of the guests wakes up in the body of a different guest EVERY day, and will do so until he solves the mystery. this was one of the cleverest books i’ve ever read, seeing everything come together was so good. but the last reveal left me kinda like... was THAT the point of all of this?? also one part of this book is grossly fatphobic.

breeze of a spring evening and other stories - yu dafu ⭐️⭐️⭐️ collection of short stories written and set in 1920s china/japan. there was a lot of examination of men’s desire towards younger women which bored me. but the writing was good, and i really enjoyed when the writer talked about being chinese and living in japan; that feeling of isolation of loss of self and country,

her lady’s honor - renee dahlia ⭐️⭐️ first arc of the month! historical f/f romance set after wwi. one character is a vet (in both senses of the word, she served as an animal doctor during the war) and the other is the daughter of the first character’s old captain. i wanted to like this a lot more than i did but the writing was dull, needed a better edit, and the structure/plot was just all over the place. the characters were fine, but not hugely compelling, and i didn’t fall in love with their romance.

his cocky cellist - cole mccade ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ really good m/m romance about a cellist/masseur and a young billionaire who end up becoming entangled. fictional billionaires are the only good ones. this had really pretty prose (sometimes a liiiiiiiiiiiittle bit purple), great characters, great chemistry, and just a lovely romance overall.

his cocky valet: after story - cole mmcade ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ cute coda to the first book in the series. a HEA in a way that works for these specific characters.

night owls and summer skies - rebecca sullivan ⭐️⭐️ another arc, another book i sadly didn’t enjoy much. this is ya f/f, about a girl who is sent unwillingly to the camp that she attended in childhood. the bare bones of the writing was fine, but it tried to be a romantic comedy in ways that just didn’t work. a lot of the humour was a total miss. and the book dealt a lot with bullying, while also letting the love interest get away with some truly shitty stuff.

arms wide open - donna jay ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f romance about a married couple going through some rough patches, who decide to try to spice things up by inviting a third person into their bed. it was cute, not spectacular. while i liked the characters a lot, because the book opened with them already in love (having problems, but never OUT of love) this book was missing what i love about most romances: the falling in love bit!

my heart’s in the highlands - amy hoff ⭐️⭐️⭐️ another arc and oh man this is an extremely generous rating for a book that really wasn’t that good, but hit the spot for me in specific ways. it’s historical f/f time travel romance about a woman from the 19th century who travels back to the 13th century and falls in love with a gruff highlander warrior woman. this is not very well written, has so many unexplained plot points, (how did a woman from the 19th century build a time machine? none of our damned business) didn’t seem too concerned with historical fidelity, and had some dubcon, which, bleh. but i still REALLY liked parts of this. i’m just so weak for historical f/f romance.

when all the world sleeps - j.a. rock and lisa henry ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m romance between a chronic sleepwalker who lives in fear of the things he does when he’s sleeping, and a cop. this was fine. sometimes sad and sweet, sometimes weird and overdone. the police character was fine most of the time, but he also reminded me of why i don’t like reading romances with cops. especially In These Times. every tiny abuse of power made me want to snap. the actually romance was good, but i’ve read better.

yellow jessamine - caitlin starling ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another arc! fantasy sort of horror with some f/f leanings. really wonderful prose, AMAZING characters, and really lush, unsettling horror. i don’t read/enjoy a lot of horror but this was great. i adore complicated women so much

where the forest meets the stars - glendy vanderah ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ on a genre scale i guess this is contemporary/mystery? a moving novel about a biologist (who’s a breast cancer survivor) who meets a little girl claiming to be an alien who comes from the stars. it didn’t go the way i was kind of expecting it to, and i enjoyed it. it had an m/f romance that i liked... mostly? there were some tropes i coulda done without, and it was really lazy in the way it addressed trauma.

silver ravens - jane fletcher ⭐️⭐️⭐️ yet another arc! i really enjoyed fletcher’s celaeno series so i was excited to be approved for this f/f fantasy/adventure novel. an out-of-work IT professional is swept into fairy world with fae and mystery and intrigues aplenty, and a mercenary captain she falls for. the writing was fine, but some of the world building really bugged me, and there wasn’t enough romance imo.

second nature - jae ⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f paranormal romance about a writer who’s begun to have strange dreams about a society of animal shifters, and the liger shifter who’s been tasked with finding her, and if need be, killing her. this could have been a great book (i especially really liked the characters and how they were described, and the plot) but the writer did one of the things i really hate: giving us the pov of the villain from the very beginning, letting us know his plans, motivations, EVERYTHING. it felt like we spent the entire book waiting for the protags to catch up, and it just wasn’t entertaining.

dragonoak books 2-3 - sam farren ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the last two books in the dragonoak series, an f/f high fantasy series. they were too long, the plot was shaky, and there were some irksome bits but holy crap, i loved these books so much. SO MUCH. they have some of my very favourite characters and tropes EVER. lots of queer ladies, lots of trans characters, necromancy, batles, found families, friendships, damaged characters, REALLY EXCELLENT ROMANCE.. the book had flaws aplenty but i’m ready to forgive them all. (

when i was you - minka kent ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i don’t usually read thrillers, but i decided to try this out on a whim after seeing the cover and it was... fine. it helped that i didn’t read the blurb, bc that meant i had no idea where it was going. after the first huge twist it did become kinda meh tho.

the hole - hye-young pyun ⭐️⭐️⭐️ psychological horror about a man who survives the car cash that killed his wife. he ends up paralysed, and is living with his mother in law, and one day he looks out the window and sees her digging holes in the garden. this was an EXTREMELY slow book. it took ages for anything to really happen. there were a lot of flashbacks and internal monologuing. the absolute best part of this book came at almost the end, where there was a big sorta revelation and the writing became really crisp and cutting and just really good. it had a really fitting end.

the silvers - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ m/m sci-fi romance. humans are in search of water for earth, which is running out. they come across intelligent life on a new planet: a race of people called silvers. the captain of the mission and one of the silvers develop a close relationship... this was really good; i loved what it had to say about humanity and nature and the ways we can and do hurt each other. very interesting, i don’t think i’ve ever read anything like it.

and that’s it for june! i ended up reading a fair few things out of my usual comfort zone. for july, i think i’m going back to a majority romance; i’ve missed that. currently reading to have loved and lost.

#book talk #long post

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jfpisadearqueerdeer · 5 years

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So, because of my great love of Becky Albertalli's books, I have two book ideas for additions to her Creekword series.

The first is: Garrett's Take On Love (and Other Things)

Cover: I think this one would either have a green or a gold cover, not sure why, but I learnt towards green when first thinking of it.

Timeline: Summer after their sophomore year of college.

Description: Garrett Laughlin had always been sure about everything. He knew that he would make the soccer team. He knew he would get into Georgia Tech. And he knew he was straight. Or at least, he used to know that.

It's the summer after his sophomore year of college, he's back home until August, and of all the people he could have ran into from high school, it just happened to be Cal Price. And despite his past beliefs of his sexuality, and the fact that he is dating Morgan, Garrett is pretty sure that he's in love.

Important Points In the Novel:

Starts out in the gang's favorite hangout, Waffle House.

Morgan and Garrett are still together at the beginning if the novel, but like halfway through, they break up.

Garrett actually calls Bram Bram instead of Greenfeld when he comes out as pansexual to him.

I'm thinking a trip to Atlanta for Pride Month, involving all our favorite gays: Simon, Bram, Leah, Abby, Garrett, and Cal. Fun short little roadtrip that encompasses like the last week of June, and involves lots of romantic tension between the boys (G and C).

Alice and Theo having a Fourth of July engagement party and it's right after Garrett and Morgan's break up, and Garrett gets super drunk and tries to kiss Cal, but Cal won't let him, and Garrett think it's Cal rejecting him, but no, it's Cal thinking he would be taking advantage of Garrett.

A few days of moping around because both boys think the other doesn't want them.

Bram and Simon "accidently" not telling Garrett and Cal respectively who will be at the movie night they're planning. And then, Bram and Simon lock them in Simon's basement to force them to talk. But they just watch a movie (I'm thinking Netflix Original Alex Strangelove). And like, midway through the movie, Garrett takes Cal's hand, and at the end of the movie, Cal kisses Garrett. And just. Adorableness ensues.

Simon and Bram come busting through the doors with everyone (maybe Morgan, maybe not). But like everyone. Alice and Theo. Nora. Jack and Emily. Leah and Abby. Nick and Taylor. Anna. And they're all just like "Move out of the way ya gay dorks, and let us start movie night already.

They watch reruns of The Bachelor. Because it isn't just a Spier family tradition anymore. Because they're all family at this point. Because family isn't just about blood or last names. It's about the people who will never give up on you.

The second is: Anna's Ace of Hearts

Cover: Absolutely positive that this would have a purple cover, and instead of the word Hearts, it would be 🖤s.

Description: Anna has known she was asexual since the disaster that was her and Simon's relationship. She just doesn't know how to tell anybody. At first, she isn't sure if it's just because her and Simon's relationship was what it was. Then, she didn't know if this was permanent. And now, she's not sure, because she is totally in love with the boy across the hall.What she doesn't know is that the boy across the hall is ace as well.

Isaiah Hayes is a bit of an eccentric person. He loves cooking. He hates social media. He can put on make up like the best of them. But he has no fashion sense. When he talks, his voice sounds like it's coming from the heavens above. His singing on the other hand seems to come from another afterlife. And Anna is completely head over heels with every bit of it.

Now we already know he's asexual. But the question is: Is he aromantic as well?

Important Points in the Novel:

Anna moves into the building her senior year of college. And of course, she meets her neighbor across the hall, Isaiah Hayes, first. And he invites her over for dinner, because she is so not unpacked, and not up for eating greasy pizza off barely durable paper plates.

The thing is, he dances when he cooks. And he sings. And it's sort of terrible, but Anna loves it anyway. He makes vegetarian fettuccine alfredo, and she can't help but devour it, and when she looks up, he's just smiling like a fool. But after, he just walks her out of the apartment with no invitation to come over again. So. Mixed signals.

Anyways. Anna is going to school for nursing. That's an important thing to know for this. Because one day, Isaiah knocks on her door, and asks if she has any frozen food that he could put on his black eye. And she rushes him in, and sits him at the dingy table in her small kitchen, and immediately starts taking care of him. And then she asks what happened. And he takes a deep breath and admits to her than he's trans. And she doesn't even bat an eye. She just starts talking about how she wants to be a nurse so that there will be more queer friendly medical aid in the world, and keeps taking care of him.

That's when they start hanging out more. He cooks and dances and sings in one of their kitchens, and sometimes she joins in, but sometimes she turns something on TV or writes a paper or reads a book, but she always watches him for a bit first. Because she cannot help but love him. She just wishes he could see how much.

Spring Break comes. She invites him back to Georgia with her, because his parents don't want him back home. He takes her up on the offer, and meets the gang.

Then one day at Waffle House, they're eating breakfast and suddenly he gets up and starts dancing. And normally, Anna would be embarrassed as hell, but she can't help but laugh because he's laughing and it's just so contagious. And then he pulls her up and has her start dancing too. And people are staring, but she doesn't care. Because he pulls her close, and even though he's like two feet taller than her, he picks her up a bit and kisses her forehead and admits that he loves her but he's asexual and that he doesn't want her to be with him if she can't accept that and she just laughs because "Isaiah, I'm ace too."

The book ends with them moving her stuff into his apartment cause why not 🤗

Before you comment, read this. Yes. I am making characters queer who are not canonically queer in an already queer series. No. I do not think it is excessive. These are perfect.

#simon vs the homosapiens agenda #becky albertalli #simon versus #book ideas #queer book ideas

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years

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Finding Kurt Hummel: Transitioning

Masterpost

6x07: Transitioning

It’s not really a surprise that an episode called Transitioning is in the smack middle of this shortened season. It certainly makes much more sense than Swan Song being in the middle of the season, lol.

So, we get a lot about Beiste, and Trans rights, and a whole lot of stuff I’m happy not to touch. And we get a, well, sort of awkward Kurt and Blaine story. Truth time - I was really disappointed by this episode first time around, because I wanted it to do more. It’s grown on me a lot, but I still have a few minor nitpicks about it. But - the two things that really stand out to me in retrospect are a) this particular story line is more about Blaine than Kurt -- Blaine’s the one going through a transitional period back to Kurt and b) the pacing of their story is fine through the episode - it’s really, unfortunately, the wedding episode the botches the ending.

Growing Up

It’s nine minutes into the episode before we see our dear Kurt. A quarter of the episode! Ug!!

And - it’s Sam who’s carrying Rachel’s emotional baggage this week and dragging Kurt with him. So, Rachel’s dads are selling the house (which is the reason they got a divorce - so that Rachel is forced to move out and grow up. Good lord the lengths these writers go to - to teach Rachel a lesson). Sam goes on about how Rachel’s making a difficult transition into adulthood - one that they’re all going through, but the rest of the characters don’t matter - just Rachel. She’ll carry this theme for all of them, lol.

I also love how Glee’s like - okay, bam, Rachel is now dealing with adulthood, as if the past few years haven’t really counted. But - you know, it’s the end of the series, and that’s when these big life changes actually happen.

Anyway - anyone up for meta’ing the giant spider on Kurt’s shoulder?

Wheel of Destiny

So - they interrupt the weekly lesson of Ohio artists (sorry Kitty, no Marilyn Manson for you), so they weekly theme can be transitioning. Kurt says that sometimes life throws you a curveball and sometimes you just have to go with it. Huh. Foreshadowing? I think so...

Blaine then goes on this long thing about Rachel having trouble facing adulthood, and how are they going to help her deal? Why - throwing a party because that’s what adults do, lol.

So. Picking names out of a hat for duet partners is boring, so Artie constructed a giant wheel of names! I mean, why not - it’s fun. And it’s Kurt turn! The wheel /almost/ lands on Artie, but Kurt gives destiny a little push and makes it go to Blaine. And -- just look how shocked he is for that to have happened, lol. I love this Kurt - manipulating things to turn out how he wants them. I haven’t seen him pull this kinda thing in a long time, and it’s hilarious and adorable. You go sing that duet with your sweetheart, Kurt!

After the meeting - Kurt catches up to Blaine (who is kinda secretly thrilled with Kurt’s meddling). However - Blaine’s concerned about the whole thing - cause Karofsky might just get jealous. Kurt thinks that’s silly -- and there’s a little bit of frustration there - cause I mean, Karofsky already has him as a boyfriend, he can’t keep them from being friends, too...

Blaine states that Karofsky might think there’s something still between them. And Blaine wants Kurt to say -- why yes, yes there is. But he doesn’t - cause he feels like Blaine’s made his choice, so really, Kurt needs a sign from Blaine that there isn’t... Hmmm, I wonder if that’ll happen.

And then we get this whole awkward hug thing, which Kurt isn’t really sure what to do with. And I’m not really sure what to do with Kurt’s final reaction here that’s a little -- oh, well, huh, that just happened. I would have Kurt smile a little at the end of it - but I guess the director wanted to go for ambiguous?

Which leads me to say this -- this episode I found difficult and unsatisfying the first time I watched it. It’s grown on me a lot since then, but I think one of the things I was jarred by was that up until this point, we’ve had mainly Kurt’s POV on the whole break up thing - but this episode is nearly all Blaine’s POV. And I get it, we needed to get him to the point of breaking it off with Karofsky. But seeing everything through Blaine’s eyes when we’ve been with Kurt so much this season feels like a strange switch up in a few places. This, I think, is one of them.

Everyone’s Favorite Gays

So -- Rachel’s party has started, and it must be a different day because Kurt has changed his clothes. Also - Sam mentions he’s slipped a little something in Kurt’s drink - which is a nod to the fact that he’s over 21 now. I mean, we were all waiting for that top happen, this is just confirmation.

I’m also slightly uncomfortable that a group of college students who are acting as teachers and mentors have invited a bunch of high schoolers to a party with alcohol at it - but Glee doesn’t seem to care, so I’ll just look away. It’s not like it’s a plot point. Though, man, who wouldn’t want to see Drunk!Kurt - that would have been fun.

Anyway - Mercedes and Roderick sing All About That Bass - and it’s super fun and light. Kurt’s not in it very much - but he’s bopping along right with Mercedes. And one point Blaine shuffles over towards him, and they dance together for a hot second - but then Kurt’s mysteriously absent for the last minute or so of the song. Not sure what happened there.

So - after a scene of Rachel and Sam hooking up because Rachel’s afraid to leave her childhood behind (um, okay fine) - we get Kurt and Blaine’s duet, which is Somebody Loves You. And I just love every iota of this song. The last time either of them sang was that dreary and depressing Carole King song back in Jagged Little Tapestry - now they have a fun, upbeat, song about being there for the person you’re in love with.

I could pretty much quote all of the lyrics here, oh and here I will...

Who’s around when the days feel long Who’s around when you can’t be strong Who’s around when you’re losing your mind Who cares that you get home safe Who knows you can’t be replaced Who thinks that you’re one of a kind

Somebody misses you when you’re away They wanna wake up with you everyday Somebody wants to hear you say Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you

I’m around when your head is heavy I’m around when your hands aren’t steady I’m around when your day’s gone all wrong I care that you feel at home 'Cause I know that you feel alone I think you’re going to miss me when I’m gone

Somebody misses you when you’re away They wanna wake up with you everyday Somebody wants…

So - the thing I love about this song is that Kurt and Blaine pretty much trade off on all the lines. But the point is - this song is about both of them, and how they feel about each other. I love the message of - hey, someone loves you - and they’re going to be there for you when life sucks. I think especially, I enjoy the part where it says - somebody misses you when you’re away. Cause I have to wonder if they are back at the point where they miss each other when they’re not around.

I’d also love to know how they decided this would be a good song to sing. Cause, seriously boys, serious overtones here, lol. Plus - I want all the texts and conversations they had about doing the song -- more reconnecting!!

While this song is one of my favorite Klaine duets - I’m not sure it’s one of my favorite performances. It’s kinda reminds me of Just Can’t Get Enough - when there’s a ton of other things going on taking away from the Klaine time, lol!

But importantly - Kurt’s just having a fun time, sing his little heart out, wearing an astronaut costume, and playing with a blue feather boa. (Oh, the boas are their proposal colors - nice touch props.)

And of course, during the song -- Blaine is zeroed in on. He’s getting his heart eyes back - because as Kurt just kind of bops around in (sorta) his own little world - Blaine’s noticing, and falling in love again. We’re almost there, guys... almost.

After the show’s over - Blaine decides to get outta there - because the feelings are too much!! But he claims it’s because of a Karofsky reason. Feeling guilty, Blaine - uh, yeah something like that.

Anyway, Kurt is a little bummed he has to go. He had a ton of fun dueting with Blaine, and he’s missed it because they haven’t done it in a while. (Also a metaphor, people!! okay maybe not - but I’m making it into one.) Anyway - all this talk brings them back to Baby, It’s Cold Outside - yes, the time they did sound the greatest. And Kurt admits that way back when - all he wanted was to make out with Blaine.

It’s a sweet little moment at they remember - and Blaine wonders why he just didn’t kiss him - and Kurt throws out the whole Jeremiah thing (god - you guys remember that??) Well, Kurt and Blaine barely remember that - because Kurt doesn’t remember the dude’s name, and Blaine totally forgot the guy existed. Because in this moment, they’ve both only got heart eyes for each other.

Kurt then starts in on how crazy it is that some people mean a lot to you at some point in time -- and then stops.... because Blaine’s lips come crashing to his. But.. I kind of love this little moment, where - it’s sorta like saying, oh hey, we meant so much to each other, and then you move on, but nope - sometimes some people mean so much to you -- and they still do after all the time that’s passed, and after all the stupid things you’ve done.

So, um, yeah, Blaine and Kurt are kissing again. See - the kiss in the elevator? That was a forced thing - and yeah, they felt something, but it wasn’t of their own volition. This kiss is mostly for Blaine - a chance for him to figure out if what he felt in the elevator was real, or if it was just the heat and the manipulation. Turns out - oops, yeah, totally still has feelings for Kurt... And thus, he jets outta there, cause he still, technically, has a boyfriend waiting at home for him - and he really doesn’t need to add another cheating incident.

Meanwhile - Kurt’s just stunned. Blaine not reciprocating back is something he was beginning to get used to. Blaine turned him down when Kurt came back for him. Blaine was the one that insisted that the elevator kiss meant nothing. Kurt’s happy that their friendship is back, and all the rest of it he can compartmentalize. But this? This is confirmation that Blaine still has feelings, and that’s something huge!

Kurt’s left kinda stunned - what does all that mean? Why did he do that? Does he want more? Why’d he run off? Just a lot of things swimming through Kurt’s head as Blaine pretty much runs away.

I’m okay that Kurt doesn’t run back after him -- this moment is for Blaine to realize his feelings. Kurt already knows his, and he’s not going to push at Blaine any further than he already has.

But -- I will say this is where the narrative gets a little clunky heading into the wedding episode. Blaine’s still got some stuff to do -- mainly break up with Karofsky. But really, this is the point where Kurt needed to ditch Walter and have a conversation with Blaine about feelings - because clearly feelings are still being had. Unfortunately, this is not what we get (because Glee needs it’s third party drama). But I’ll get more into that when it’s more relevant.

Time After Time

Klaine time is cut short by Rachel and Sam needing to sing 80s love ballads to each other. And then there’s a whole montage where they all help Rachel take down her memory wall - and this is the closet we get to a clip episode, lol (which is fine - clip episodes are dumb).

I don’t know what picture Kurt takes down! But, you know, it’s one of those moments where you look back at the old memory and smile, but it’s fine because growing up isn’t a bad thing. It’s just... different.

Also Kurt (and Blaine) are helping Rachel move -- I kind of wonder what awkward conversations happened that day that we didn’t get to see, cause we know from Karofsky it’s been a few days since the party before they break up. Ug, Glee, all these untapped things...

The Break-Up

Obviously, Kurt’s not in this scene, but I feel the need to go over it, because it does, in part, pertain to Kurt. And because I think it’s a nice scene. I’m going to give Karofsky a little bit of credit here, and say he isn’t entirely dumb. He knows Blaine’s been acting weird, and he’s known that since Kurt’s been back in town, their relationship wouldn’t last that much longer. (So then why did you move in with him, weirdo?)

Blaine’s been feeling guilty - because Karofsky turned out to be an okay guy, and Blaine had convinced himself that he really had moved on past Kurt. Well, no, everyone and Karofsky could see otherwise. And Karofsky is pretty nice about the whole thing (which I think is to show just how much Karofsky has grown, too, over the years). He’s got a whole bunch of guys ready and willing to date him. It’ll suck - but Blaine can’t change his heart and more than Kurt can. So Karofsky let’s him go.

I think one of the interesting things in this conversation, is that Karofsky tells Blaine to just tell Kurt, not sing it. And I feel like that goes with the whole growing up theme. A lot of the time, these boys have sung their emotions through song - and that’s fine, but it’s also been part of the fantasy -- but part of the Klaine narrative has been a shift from fantasy to reality, and this is one of the last parts. And Blaine’s ready to take that step - to grow up and be a real boy, and be okay in his not-ever-changing feelings towards Kurt.

So - Blaine gets running and goes for Kurt. How does he know Kurt’s there? Is this just after school? Why is Walter meeting him there of all places? Idk - the set up of this scene is a little awkward when you thinking about it too much, but I’m really not supposed to.

The point is -- Blaine is ready to confess his love to Kurt -- again. He even wears the bowtie he wore at the proposal (do you think Kurt didn’t notice that? He did). But --- one awkward little thing. Kurt’s about to go on a double date with Walter, Rachel, and Sam.

So Blaine -- doesn’t say anything. And actually -- this is a good thing for Blaine! Honestly, it is -- it shows growth. He let his life be dictated by his relationship with Kurt once, and he’s going to do what he didn’t before -- let go and let it be. It’s not an appropriate time for Blaine to tell Kurt that he and Karofsky broke up. But even more so, it’s also not his place to intervene in Kurt’s dating life and more than it was Kurt’s to intervene in his relationship with Karofsky. Blaine’s trying to give Kurt the space he hadn’t given Kurt before.

Kurt lingers just a little as they all head out. He knows Blaine’s lying about being there for Rachel. There’s a little bit of longing there, and a lot of concern. And oh the angst is hard core in this moment, as Blaine just stands their alone.

Kurt knows and is aware that Blaine’s feeling something. He’s ready for Blaine to say something. Look, Walter does not matter (and by the sound of it, Kurt’s been talking to Walter a lot about Blaine - since Walter clearly knows who he is, and is slightly feigning politeness when Blaine shows up). But Kurt’s ditched both Chandler and Adam pretty quickly for Blaine, and he’ll do it again with Walter.

Just this scene -- isn’t the right time.

This scene, actually, works for me pretty well - and I’m not frustrated with this episode like I was when I first saw it, because this is the transition episode, it’s supposed to end on this angsty note. My issues are really with the beginning of the wedding episode. It’s clear they wanted them both to have a run to the other moment - and sure, Kurt will do that -- but Kurt lacks a defining catalyst for him to do that, which makes it feel a bit awkward and weird. But, I’ll dig into that in the next episode.

Turning the Corner

I am not going to comment about the Beiste story line - because I don’t have an opinion on it, nor do I think it’s my place to have an opinion on it. But it’s nice that the trans choir had a chance in the spotlight on this show - and it really is a lovely moment. Kurt and Co are off to the side cheering them along.

Hey! It’s Kurt and a piano - I kinda like that that’s still a thing.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this scene - I feel like Will coming back to McKinley marks the beginning of the end for the narrative focus on Kurt this season. Even this scene is really more about the dynamic of Will and Rachel - Kurt just kinda happens to be there.

But, I mean, part of the whole transition theme is to get these guys in position to wrap up their story. Will is going to be back at McKinley, while Kurt and Rachel go off to do what they’re supposed to do.

The best part of this little ending scene, however, is the last bit. First of all, Kurt can’t call Will ‘Will’ - because that would be weird. (Just the way Chris says it cracks me up). And then Kurt wants to do a Britney 3.0 week? Really Kurt? Really? And then Will asks if the kids have emotional issues, and Kurt’s like - yeah, I don’t get involved in that. BECAUSE SERIOUSLY HAVE SOME DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR KIDS WILL!!

But yeah - it’s a little bittersweet of a moment as we wrap up a lot of what I liked about the season to move on to things I’m not as fond of. Ah well. :)

#finding kh #kurt hummel

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transstudiesarchive · 6 years

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Poems from a young queer trans kid who eventually made it out

New offering for this project below (click “Keep reading”). Full text for the four poems above included below that. ______________________________

Four poems written by a young queer trans kid, raised Mormon, who didn’t know out queer people existed and had never heard of the concept of being trans. I lived in a small, conservative agricultural town with seemingly more churches than people. I was the fifth of eight kids. When I came across a bunch of my childhood poetry a while back after coming out as trans, they all made so much more sense…

Once I’d Seen Seattle

I think I’m glad I didn’t know sooner—

I’m not sure I’d have made it out.

I always knew I didn’t belong, but had no idea why.

I lived in a desert of ideas. Actually, it was worse than that.

I lived at ground zero where ideas that took hold were quickly censored or driven out; there was nothing in the air in my suffocatingly small, claustrophobic town to even let me conceptualize what I would later realize to be not only my truth, but my beautiful kaleidoscope of identities.

My town might as well have been an island because we never left the city limits. The only time anyone ever left was when my parents traveled to nearby towns for cancer treatments or other medical care.

I am the fifth of eight children raised in what I thought at the time was a staunch Mormon home. My dad was the eldest of six, all of whom lived within thirty minutes of us.

My siblings joked that I had to be adopted because it was clear I didn’t fit. Nothing fit.

But I kept trying.

I was a mama’s child and for some reason I was driven to be a golden child. I wanted to excel at everything and make my mom proud. But in my town, that meant Cub Scouts, then Boy Scouts along with church groups which became gender-segregated church groups and gender-segregated sports at school and at church. And outside school and church? Partying, partying, partying. And three-wheeling and fishing and shooting guns and hunting. But I never went hunting. (Even then, decades before waking to veganism, I couldn’t fathom how anyone could point a gun at a beautiful, innocent animal—a sentient being with a will to live—and pull the trigger.)

So I kept trying, sometimes channeling some fictional character to manifest some forced hyper-masculinity and jackass behavior. Somehow I survived all that and so did my closest friends. Even though at least a couple kids every year didn’t survive.

I learned about ‘homosexuals’ from the bible and felt a combination of curiosity and fear. Even as I sensed the repulsion and fear in others whenever it came up, I found myself fascinated. Was this me? Two close childhood friends later came out as queer.

Maybe, I told myself at the time, my discomfort in all-male spaces was because I was really attracted to guys and frightened it might show or that I would be tempted to act on those feelings.

But that didn’t explain how much discomfort, bordering on distress, I felt when I had to wear masculine church clothes—button-down shirts and jackets and slacks and ties and Oxford shoes. My mouth is getting that vomity sensation just writing this.

I remember the horror I felt one day when my sister pointed at my bare chest:

“You’re growing chest hair! You’re becoming a man!”

It’s the first time I remember feeling truly depressed. I found myself feeling more isolated as time passed and activities at school grew more polarized. Skipping events started to feel much better than staying and having to be one of the guys.

I loved nothing more than when I’d be invited to activities with the girls—but they were so heartbreakingly few! So I often stayed home, a devoted mama’s child, happy to help out with what she asked me to do.

In junior high school I had that rare teacher who loves what they do and has held onto the spark. He brought homemade borscht in when we were studying Russian literature.

I have no idea how, in a town like ours, he got approval to do this let alone budget, but he took us on an overnight trip to Seattle to see Shakespeare productions, art museums, art galleries and the science center. My world went from gray to a riot of color during that trip.

I don’t know if I saw something or someone in particular while there; if I did, it never registered consciously. But that trip lit something in me that gave me hope about who I was and who I could become. I knew there was someplace better for me.

In some ways, that made the next four years more difficult and more painful than the years before. Because compared to Seattle, my town was hell. Specifically, my town was a dull bathroom break in the red-state flyover part of hell. And I had four more years ahead with no clear path out even then.

I got contacts and became the class clown, but I lived under storm clouds I couldn’t dispel. My grades suffered. When I was at risk of not graduating, some friends of the family came up with a plan. I moved in with them and after graduation, at their encouragement, I left for a two-year Mormon mission to Japan.

Then I came back, moved to Seattle, met someone amazing, sang her Somebody by Depeche Mode without missing a word in the middle of the store at the mall where we worked. We got married in the temple because for some reason I was still doing that then. I struggled off and on with the feeling I might be gay. It was still all I knew; the only option that could explain the fact that I was different. That I didn’t belong.

I knew I’d made it out when I went back to visit my parents one year and the clerk at the drugstore asked my partner and I if we had ever visited the area before. I asked how they knew we were from out of town and they said, “I can just tell. Are you from Seattle or something?”

Almost thirteen years after saying “I do,” we divorced after giving an open relationship a try. I was a workaholic the entire time. A had a few relationships of varying duration, including some casual relationships with men. A couple months after swearing to stay single for a year I met the person I hope to spend the rest of my life with. We met through mutual friends, but both had online dating profiles and both had ours set to exclude vegans because WTF? How does that even work? Then we got together and went vegan.

Over the last several years before we met, the idea of being trans hit my radar. I’d talked with previous partners about it. I’d even gone through the not-atypical pattern of splurge-and-purge where I would embrace my sense of who I was and buy a bunch of skirts, cute tops, dresses and other things that never saw the world outside our house. My partners were supportive. But then I would panic and get rid of everything and go back to life in drag. I would do things like let my fingernails grow long, shave my armpits and some of my body hair, pluck my eyebrows—but never enough to “give me away,” as far as I knew.

Then at the age of 47 I learned my company was going through a restructuring and my department was being eliminated. Having grown up in poverty, I’d always let a stable job and reliable income take precedence over everything else. And my life history reflected that. But because of my partner, my circle of friends and who I’d allowed myself to become, I did something I never thought I would do. I left my job, volunteered at the local QIATBLG+ community center two days a week, did other social justice organizing and volunteer work, came out as trans, changed my name, updated all my legal documentation (including the non-binary X gender marker on my driver’s license) and enrolled in school full time. I had been on the fence on whether to start school or start a non-profit to serve the area trans and queer communities. When I learned about the brand new major at PSU—Sexuality, Gender and Queer Studies—I knew what I had to do. And I knew my life was right on track. - Iris @ Age 49

Signs of Humanity

Why can’t I be human? I’m called a child when I cry So I hold my feelings deep inside. Again I ask you, why?

Why can’t I be human? When I laugh, they think I’m weird. So I just smile to myself. Are feelings to be feared?

Why can’t I be human? When I’m quiet, they ask what’s wrong, So I think of something to talk about. Must I do this to belong?

Why can’t I be human? I’m scoffed at when I make a mistake. So I just turn and walk away, Though deep within, I ache.

Why can’t I be human? Why can’t I act like me?!?! Instead of just another model in… Series: Humanity. - by Iris @ Age 14

Close Your Eyes and Look at Me

Do not judge me by appearance. You have eyes but cannot see. Look at my spirit and my feelings. Close your eyes and look at me!

Hold your ears so you can listen. Hear my meaning, not my words. It is my heart that is speaking now. Is my language so absurd?

Quell your pride so you can feel. I know that you care deep inside. Why must these feelings that are so human Be held within, always denied? - by Iris @ Age 15

Balanced Confusion

Just sitting here, my mind is spinning With contemplative images. Caught in limbo between past and future, Unable to focus on the present. Trapped in a loop of unanswerable questions, I seek out nonexistent facts. Falling toward my termination— Groping for what is not there. Each time I sense a certain order And settle to a steady state, A new unknown begins to form And throws me into chaos. Emotions reign in my subconscious Running rampant, take their toll. I struggle to cling to reality, But slip across the line… Perceptions are nearly nullified. I no longer trust my senses. I crawl to the center of my mind And slumber in balanced confusion. - Iris @ Age 14

Sitting in the Oven

Sitting in the oven Wondering why the hell I’m here. I’m thinking and feeling something… Not sure what, but sure not fear.

It’s not too comfortable in here. I’m sitting on the wire rack; The bars aren’t big enough for my butt And there’s nothing to support my back.

Looking through the dirty glass I can see life passing by outside. Something is welling up inside me; I’m not sure what, but it’s sure not pride.

I guess I don’t like it here, But there isn’t much that I can do. Maybe if someone opens the door I’ll jump and try to make it through.

I’ve come to the conclusion That this is not the way to live. I’m thinking and feeling something… Not sure what, but sure not initiative. - Iris @ Age 16

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paralleljulieverse · 7 years

Photo

Periodically, the Parallel Julieverse likes to profile some of the many talented photographers who have worked with Julie over the years. One of the more fascinating, and possibly lesser known, was L. Arnold Weissberger (1907-1981).

An entertainment lawyer who first rose to prominence as legal representative for Orson Welles -- he drafted the actor’s much-ballyhooed 1940 contract with RKO (Chapman, G-3) -- Weissberger was for many years the resident go-to attorney for the theatrical haut monde. “[O]ne definition of high and mighty,” claimed a newspaper report, “is to be a client of his” (Hunter, D3). Indeed, with a client list featuring everyone from Sir Laurence Olivier, Cecil Beaton and Lillian Gish to Garson Kanin, Billy Rose, Helen Hayes and Igor Stravinsky, Weissberger could have given MGM a run in the “more stars than there are in the heavens” stakes.

A gentleman of the old school who always wore a suit jacket and trademark white carnation, Weissberger was as admired for his charm, grace and unerring discretion, as his legal nous. Quipped Orson Welles:

“Like the Rolls Royce, this lawyer is valued not only for the pleasing elegance of his appearance, but for performance, which can be formidable. A terror and a scourge to producers, he is a wonder to observe. Yet the loudest thing on Arnold is his Patek Philippe watch.” (Weissberger 1973, 337)

Weissberger was also life partner to Milton Goldman, a successful theatre agent in his own right and vice-president of International Creative Management. Together the two men -- equal bons vivants and talented socialites -- formed a show biz power couple that presided over the trans-Atlantic theatre scene for decades. Their weekly Sunday cocktail parties were legendary and their swanky Sutton Place apartment “became the party place for theatre personalities from three continents” (Lawrence and Lee, 227). Each summer, the couple would relocate to Europe, spending a month in the River Suite at the London Savoy where they would host a whirlwind of social affairs with "every famous name you have ever wanted to meet” (Harris, 47).

It was in this context that Weissberger developed what he fondly called his “double life” as a celebrity photographer (Wise, B-1). A self-avowed “shutterbug” since youth, Weissberger never went anywhere without his trusty twin Leicas, “loaded at all times, one with outdoor, the other with indoor colour film” (Glover, 10-A). Though unabashedly amateur -- he was entirely disinterested in the the technical dimensions of photography, “never uses flash, hates to be bothered with filters and won’t have a light meter around” (ibid.) -- Weissberger honed his talents through a good eye and sheer voluminous slog. By the mid-70s, he estimated having shot 50,000 pictures of people and another 60,000 on travels (Anderson, 25).

It didn’t hurt, of course, that Weissberger had ready access to some of the most famous people in the world. How many photographers, marvelled one newspaper report, “run into Orson Welles, Marlene Dietrich, Noel Coward, Lord Snowden...Alice B. Toklas, Marianne Moore, W.H. Auden, Peter O’Toole, the Redgraves, Beatrice Lillie and Judy Holliday in their daily rounds?” (Wise, B-1). The fact that he knew these celebrities personally and was, for the most part, photographing them in the context of private social events afforded a genuine intimacy and unguarded spontaneity unmatched in most other celebrity photography of the era.

“His subjects are his clients and his clients are his friends,” noted Orson Welles, “We all smile in front of his camera because Arnold is behind it” (Weissberger, 1973, 337-338). In a similar refrain, Douglas Fairbanks Jr remarked that Weissberger “is a gregarious host with a catholic taste in friends” all of whom “have long since learned to repose their collective confidence in [his] gentler disposition and infinite discretion” (ibid, 183).

For the most part, Weissberger took his photos for the simple fun of it and as personal mementoes. He was known among intimates for compiling the shots as “gifts for friends, to be presented in elegant gold-tooled, white-bound albums on Christmas or birthdays” (Weissberger, 1973, 282). As Weissberger’s archive of celebrity photography grew, however, so did its fame and in the late-1960s he was invited to hold several exhibitions of his work, including a major showing at the Museum of the City of New York (Weissberger, 1967).

The highpoint of public recognition was undoubtedly the 1973 publication of Famous Faces, a lavish 450-page coffee table book from prestigious art publisher, Harry Abrams, that featured almost 1500 of Weissberger’s portraits taken over a 25 year span from 1946-1971. The literal heft of the tome was such that, when Weissberger gifted a copy to longtime friend, Hermione Gingold, she quipped, “Thanks but this isn’t for my coffee table. From now on, this is my coffee table!” (Lyons, 13).

Famous Faces is an astonishing catalogue of mid-century Anglo-American celebrity culture and a dynamic visual immersion in a long vanished world. “[A]s succinct as Boswell’s Diaries and [with] an even larger cast of characters,” notes Anita Loos in one of several appreciative celebrity “comments” peppered through the tome, “This is more than history; it is poetry and it is art” (Weissberger, 1973, 283-84).

Certainly, these charmingly candid shots of our Julie, which are drawn from Weissberger’s gallery of greats, possess a decided poetic allure. Disarmingly simple, they arrest with their potent combination of playful ordinariness and historical import. The shot of Julie glimpsed in the background between Flora Robson and Judith Anderson is especially entrancing. Taken in 1960 when Julie had not long wrapped her long star-making turn in My Fair Lady and was about to embark on Camelot, it captures a spontaneous moment of apparent banality -- “three women at a party” -- and, through serendipitous framing, lighting and, even, costume (the contrast of matronly black and virginal white), imbues the scene with a symbolic cast that borders on the epic. A triangulated drama of looks as the once and future queen of musical theatre apprehends her own - as yet only glimpsed -- grande dame destiny.

Weissberger had ambitions to develop a second volume of photographs and was also working on an autobiographical memoir to be titled “Double Exposure” when he died suddenly of an embolism in 1981 at age 74. His partner, Milton Goldman organised a special memorial at the Royale Theatre on W. 45th -- where incidentally Julie made her bow in The Boy Friend -- which, by all accounts, played to an adoringly packed-house. “The outpouring of affection was so enormous,” reported famed Broadway correspondent, Earl Wilson (1981), “that VIPs sat in the balcony or stood” (15B) as from the stage a series of heartfelt reminiscences were delivered by, among others, Orson Welles, Ruth Gordon, Garson Kanin, Martha Graham, Louise Rainer, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Meryl Streep, Beverly Sills, and Lillian Gish.

It was a fittingly star-studded close to an extraordinary life for this man who remained enthralled by celebrity culture both professionally as entertainment lawyer and artistically as “the Proust of American photographers” and “the chronicler of the headliners” (Wise, B-1).

Sources

Anderson, George.”A Man of 1,500 Faces, None of Them His.” The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 15 March 1974: 25.

Chapman, John. “Orson Welles, the Movies’ New Mr. Moneybags.” The Chicago Tribune, 13 October 1940: G-3.

Glover, William. “Fastest Shooting Lawyer Shoots Uses Camera in Hobby.” The Daily Times News. 6 March 1968: 10-A.

Harris, Radie. Radie’s World. New York: Putnam and Sons, 1975.

Hunter, Stephen. “Christmas is A-Coming and the Books are Getting Fat.” The Baltimore Sun. 6 December 1973: D3.

Lawrence, Jerome and Lee, Rober E. “Inward Bound.” William Inge: Essays and Reminiscences on the Plays and the Man. Eds. Jackson R. Bryer and Mary C. Hartig. Jefferson, NC: McFarland and Co, 2014.

Lyons, Leonard. “Lyons Den.” The Times. 7 January 1974: 13.

Weissberger, L. Arnold. Close-Up: A Collection of Photographs. New York: Arno Press, 1967.

____________. Famous Faces: A Photograph Album of Personal Reminiscences. New York: Harry N. Abrams, 1973.

Wilson, Earl. “They Faced the Critics...” Fort Lauderdale News. 12 March 1981: 15B.

Wise, Gabrielle. “'Faces’ Author Likes Unusual Mixes of His People.” The Baltimore Sun. 15 March 1974: B-1.

#julie andrews #photography #celebrity #arnold weissberger #milton goldman #Broadway #tony walton #richard burton #jason robards #flora robson #judith anderson

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bellabooks · 7 years

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3 Days in Queer Utopia: Thoughts on Clexacon

Las Vegas may be known as Sin City, but for a majority of the 2200 Clexacon goers, Las Vegas was more like an oasis in the desert. What was originally conceived as a small but clear response to the Bury Your Gays trope and the death of Lexa on The 100, evolved over the course of a year into a massive celebration of all things queer and female focused in entertainment. The fun started even before the con kicked off, with a party the night before at one of Vegas’ LGBTQ bars, the Phoenix. Queer, trans, non-binary folks and allies alike crammed into the space to drink, dance and meet longtime social media friends in the flesh. The band Betty even took the stage to belt out a tune. Alas, it was not the L Word theme song! The excitement was palpable on Day One of the con and continued throughout the three days, even as peoples’ bodies were weary from late nights and long days. God bless the Clexacon staff and volunteers who walked their feet to the bones and were always available for questions and assistance. Here’s a peek at Day One put together by Clexacon. I was lucky enough to moderate one of the first panels of the con, Creating a Web Series, with panelists Christin Baker from Tello Films, Nancylee Myatt (South of Nowhere, Nikki and Nora), Paige Bernhart (Nikki and Nora, NCIS Nola) and Aasha Davis (South of Nowhere, Drunk History, The Unwritten Rules). Paige and Nancylee brought a little bit of Mardi Gras to Vegas with them, tossing beads and swag into the audience, and right off the bat you knew it was going to be a great panel. What an honor to speak with such an experienced and talented group of women. In fact, every panel I attended was absolutely killer. Big conversations were started, exciting ideas were generated, bonds were formed, and you couldn’t help but feel that if you could harness the heart of this event, it would have the power to really change the world. I walked away with so much more than I came with, and I am so grateful to all who shared their experiences and knowledge. I only wish I could have attended more smaller panels. Of course, one of the major draws of Clexacon were the big room panels. Panels with big names like the Spashley reunion of Gabrielle Christian and Mandy Musgrave, Wayhaught (with an adorably awestruck Kat Barrell, Dominique Provost-Chalkey and Emily Andras), Shoot (Sarah Shahi and Amy Acker who were incredible sports), Lost Girl, Saving Face, BAM from All My Children, and of course, Carmilla’s Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis, otherwise known as Hollstein. Here’s vid from that panel, where I asked Elise and Natasha to reenact famous scenes between queer tv and movie couples. Let’s just say, they crushed it. It starts at the 20:49 mark. Other big room panels like Lexa’s Legacy, Year in Review, Power of Queer Social Media, and LGBTQ Actresses drew big crowds, and had some pretty amazing moments. Another big event was Emily Andras’ writing workshop, which I was lucky enough to attend along with a packed house. Andras has a wonderfully funny but no nonsense approach to writing and is an excellent teacher. The artists alley was full of talented folks selling their wares, as well as organizations spreading the word. My suitcase was no joke, 10 lbs heavier when I left, thanks to all the great merch and Tim Tams straight from Australia. (Thanks Amber!) For a first time con, Clexacon went quite smoothly. Sure there were a few hiccups, but there was so much joy in the air, everyone just rolled with it. I met attendees as young as 8 years old and those in their 70s. People from across town and across the world. I can tell you this: I will be back next year. For me personally, from the moment I stepped through the con doors, to the moment I said goodbye to Las Vegas, Clexacon was one of the greatest experiences of my personal and professional life. I learned so much from all of you, and I am grateful, honored and humbled to have met so many lovely people and moderated some incredible panels. I hope you liked all the Bella swag! I know my experience differs from others simply based on the fact that I was there as a moderator and not as a guest, so I have asked Bella readers and Clexacon attendees to share their experiences with us. I’d also invite you to share with us in the comments! “Clexacon was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I came because the content was something I was really interested in, and because I wanted to meet the friends that I’ve made on twitter. Also Amy Acker. It was a warm, comfortable environment where everyone belonged and accepted each other. It was so easy to make new friends because of this, and because of the commonality we all shared. It was also really powerful to see so many people, and to hear that when we come together, we have a loud voice that has been and will be heard.” – @hmgflyer “I felt as if I was in such a safe space in such a long time! In my city nearly all the queer women’s spaces have ceased operation. Knowing that all these women are into the same stuff I’m into made it even better!” – @CroEna9 “My ClexaCon experience was absolutely amazing! Being the first convention I have ever attended, I don’t think anything could ever compare to the positive, supportive, and just all around amazing energy and vibes that surrounded ClexaCon, all the attendees and amazing line up of guests, was just so heart warming and amzing. The friendships, connections, and the honour of attendance at ClexaCon will forever live on in my heart.” – @LezbrosNFrnz “ClexaCon not only allowed me to connect with one of my passions, television, but also provided me the opportunity to discuss that passion in a space that made me feel safe and validated. For once I wasn’t that weird nerd girl who wanted to discuss representation on television, but part of a community that cares deeply about each other and seeing themselves on tv.” – Morgan Clapp “I hadn’t traveled since I’d been disabled (almost 10 years), but I had to get to ClexaCon! The Staff, including the Volunteers, took such great care of me. I never had to worry about getting into a panel or a photo op. Other Cons could learn from ClexaCon.” – Barbara Wolfe “As a girl that grew up on a tiny island in the Bahamas, face buried in a book or eyes glued to a tv screen for some form of escape from a world I never really felt I belonged to, ClexaCon weekend in Vegas meant more to me than I can ever express. Growing up surrounded by people I didn’t have much in common with was incredibly lonely. I had never realized just how isolated I felt until I was immersed in the world of ClexaCon with people who share my thoughts and feelings and interests. It felt like I was finally home.” – @ShanLaShawn “ClexaCon was, in a nutshell, like a really large family reunion, it was like coming home. Every second spent at the convention space was like being wrapped in this huge, lesbian filled bubble of positive, warm, passionate, energy, just this overwhelming, indescribable feeling of BELONGING somewhere. It didn’t matter how old you were, where you came from, or what you looked like, you were Kru! And that’s a feeling I will always carry with me. ClexaCon and the people I met while there irrevocably changed not only my life, but me as a person!” -Meagan Baxter “I think that ClexaCon might be my favorite experience of my entire life so far. Not because of the media guests who were there (although Betty McRae meant/means a lot to me and meeting Ali Liebert was amazing), but because of the time I got to spend with fellow LGBTQ women in and out of the Con itself. I don’t know any queer women where I live, so my connection to the community is usually just online. This weekend at ClexaCon I was able to spend time with amazing women (some who I knew online, some who I didn’t) who I share so much in common with as both queer women and fans that I felt freer to laugh, cry, fangirl, and just be myself more than I think I ever have before. It was an amazing experience and I cannot wait to go again next year.” – @buknerd “The panels with content creators and actors were phenomenal. I don’t know how the organizers pulled in the guests that they did, but I was grateful for everyone’s professionalism, knowledge, and ability to keep the audience engaged. I learned from the “Bisexual Representation in the Media” panel. I enjoyed laughing in the reunion panels. I was grateful for the many intelligent audience questions. When I attended the Saving Face Reunion, I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Alice Wu’s educational background is similar to mine. Being a Chinese-American, I was also glad to see Alice Wu, Lynn Chen, and Michelle Krusiec on the stage because I realized that it was the first time I had seen people who, for back of better words, look like me and discuss a movie they made.” – Heather Lo “I’m 23 years old and do not have any LGBTQ female friends, they’re all straight. Spending three full days with hundreds of LGBTQ women was the most comfortable environment I have ever been in in my whole life. I never felt out of place, just completely content in my own skin. Stepping over the threshold from Bally’s casino area into the convention each day was like flipping the world upside down and experiencing it the way that it should be: loving, accepting, welcoming, respectful and empowering. I attended the con alone and despite being more of an introvert, I spent every day talking to people I had never met before who came from all around the world for one specific reason. To demand the representation we deserve (and to of course grieve Lexa). This was by far the most necessary and imperative moment for queer women, I learned so much at each and every panel I went to. Calling ClexaCon special is an extreme understatement, but I’m not quite sure there is a more fitting word.” – Susan LeGrice http://dlvr.it/NbNgYB

#News #Television #Webseries

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ladystylestores · 4 years

Text

Hair Industry to Gift Free Services to COVID-19 Hospital Workers – WWD

https://pmcwwd.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/jeremy-tardo_1.jpeg?w=640&h=415&crop=1

The hair industry is joining forces to offer COVID-19 health-care workers free services through a digital platform launched by celebrity hairstylists and longtime friends Lucy Halperin, Jeremy Tardo and Amanda Shuttleworth.

All three live in Los Angeles, where the initiative was born. Familiar names in the world of hair are among the bunch to join the cause and offer their talents, including David Babaii, Mara Roszak, Ted Gibson, Benjamin Mohapi, Johnnie Sapong and Jenny Cho — whose clients collectively include the likes of Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Billie Eilish and Meghan Markle. So far, major L.A. salons such as Mèche, Nine Zero One, Ramirez Tran Salon and Sally Hershberger have also signed up, though the endeavor is open to all states. A total of 53 salons and freelance hairstylists have joined to date.

“We want it to be inclusive to everyone,” Halperin said. “Whether they have one chair or 100 chairs, every salon is important.”

“It’s an army of hairdressers we’re building,” added Tardo.

Services will be available for two weeks via Frontline Fortnight, as it’s called, a nod to Halperin and Shuttleworth’s British roots. Hair professionals and health-care workers are able to sign up directly on frontlinefortnight.com. It’s an honor system, said the founders, and anyone with a hospital ID working during the pandemic is able to benefit.

“That includes the person answering the phone, the janitors…,” said Tardo, a colorist who’s worked with Miley Cyrus, Jared Leto and Miranda Kerr.

Though the idea for Frontline Fortnight was sparked in March, and the site is up and running, a launch date has yet to be set. Evidently, it’s due to the surge of coronavirus cases across the country and news on Monday from California Gov. Gavin Newsom to roll back reopening of salons.

“We’re trying to be very sensitive to the fact that the hairdressing industry has been hit pretty hard by the whole pandemic and a lot of hairdressers have been out of work,” Tardo said. “We really want to allow those people to be able to go back to work and make money for a period before we ask them to provide free services. That, combined with the fact that obviously the pandemic is ongoing, we can’t personally be responsible for sending first responders into people’s chairs all over the country when they’re still dealing with COVID-19 patients on a day-to-day basis.”

Clockwise from top left: Lucy Halperin, Jeremy Tardo, Amanda Shuttleworth, the trio behind Frontline Fortnight, and site creator Daniel Landrocheat. Courtesy

The site also invites visitors to donate to the Professional Beauty Association’s pandemic relief fund, which is providing aid to those facing financial hardships.

“We thought, ‘What can we do with all this time that we have?’” Tardo continued. “We’re not doing anything we feel is productive enough. We’re obviously not making money right now.”

The hair salon business has been hit hard. It was a relief to the industry and hairstylists to return to work, following Newsom’s announcement allowing salons to reopen on May 26. Many had been unemployed since March 19, when nonessential businesses were ordered to close. But now, the roll back is another blow.

“I understand that it is to reduce spread, but for me, I’m having a much, much more difficult time personally with it this time around, I have to say,” said Shuttleworth, who works with Tardo at L.A.’s Benjamin Salon as a hairstylist and hair extension specialist. “There seems to be little to no monitoring of house parties or going out or congregating….[The team has] gone to extraordinary lengths to make the salon safe and clean. So, for me, to not be able to go to work when I look outside or I see people eating outside close together with no masks on…it just seems unfair.”

For Halperin, who works as a freelancer, life is different these days. She’s usually on the move, dividing her time between between L.A. and London, working as a makeup artist and men’s groomer for clients that include Brad Pitt, Jason Bateman, Steve Carell, Kate Mara, Mia Wasikowska and Kaia Gerber. When work resumed, however, she had one job total.

“I had a shield, a mask,” she said of the experience. “It took me so long to prepare mentally, actually. It’s quite emotional. It’s just the process of working. It’s so different. I don’t think that there’s going to be the red carpet for a while. Cinema is being closed again, so that will set back premieres. I know a couple of my actors had premieres, and we did no press. I wasn’t involved in anything. Normally, I would go to their house, do makeup. I normally do all their press junkets with them. They just do everything on Zoom from their house now….The days of the big premieres are a long time to come.”

Tardo normally splits his time between L.A. and New York, working in freelance and in the salon. “For me, both of those things were nonexistent overnight,” he said.

To adapt, he created at-home hair kits for clients and offered FaceTime appointments to walk them through the steps: “I would put together, personally in my home, a kit with their color formula and all the tools that they needed in order to do these color applications for mini touch-ups on their roots.”

“I have clients who just send me money, because they’re worried I haven’t worked,” shared Shuttleworth.

When they were back in the salon, the first two weeks were “really busy,” though that changed as coronavirus cases rose, she said.

“As soon as the numbers started to climb, it went quiet for everyone,” she continued. “People were too scared to get back in. I noticed that [compared to] the first two weeks, it could not have been any different.”

Still, despite the hardships, the three are determined to unite the community and give back to health-care workers. The entire operation, including the site (created by Daniel Landrocheat of creative agency Grl), is built and managed free of charge with the help of peers.

“It’s great to see that in the worst of times, you do see the best of humanity,” Tardo said. “We’re all going through this together.”

“We’re a really resilient bunch,” Halperin said. “The industry will recover.”

“I think this is an opportunity for us to grow and change,” Shuttleworth said.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent,” added Tardo, quoting Charles Darwin. “It is the one most adaptable to change.”

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