#The world is not wonderful. Life sucks

[system-of-avalon]

🩷.

#with love - a 🩷 #I don't know how much more I can take #At some point I cried to this same song and I told myself I'd do better - I'd be better #I cried and said that I wanted to live *so bad* #But now it's all so... Empty #Now I cry to this same song and I think... When is my life going to be better? #Is this really it? Am I really going to suffer forever until I die? #Is there really no happiness? It doesn't exist? #The world is not wonderful. Life sucks #There's no point in doing anything #There's no point in trying #I feel so miserable doing nothing but I'd even more miserable doing anything #Because it won't make me happy #I'll never be happy as long as I'm alive. I did too many things wrong- I fucked up too much #Now am here I'm like... Where do I even begin? #I'm not happy with my body - I'm not happy with my personality - I'm not happy with my brain or my life choices #I'm not happy with what I can achieve - I'm not happy with *ANYTHING* #And I know it's clinical - and that's the worst thing! #The fact it's clinical means I can't do... Shit about it #I'll keep dragging my feet day in and day out - looking for *scraps* of meaning that make me feel like being alive is worth it #I can't take it anymore. I never did this for myself - I never *lived* for myself #I live for my friends and my family but it's getting to the point where that's just not enough anymore #I'm *angry* at my loved ones for *existing* #because if they didn't exist I could just die and no one would bat an eye about it #I could finally DIE IN PEACE #I'm not sure how much more I can take... I just wanna end it all #It doesn't get better #It won't get any better #tw sui ideation #tw sui vent

[samarecharm]

i love makoto so much but fanon does her so much better (the good parts of the fandom) because in the game her character is so lack luster. they butchered her confidant it is so borning and not even about her. they made her a cop. A COP. they pushed this "canon waifu" role onto her (before sumire came along and did it Even Worse). and it SUCKS because SHE IS SO MUCH MORE!!! SHE IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! SHE COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER!!! the way i feel about canon makoto is the same way i feel about the canon ryuji events post komoshida where he's horribly mistreated and used purely as comic relief: i ignore them <3 my game now <3 never happened <3 my ocs <3

You are so right. I generally apply this to all characters in p5 bc the game does such a shit job of staying consistent with character arcs and personalities. Theres a desperate need to throw in perverse jokes at the expense of female characters and a need to show that the police (as a whole) are reliable people who are not influenced by things like money and power; only the BAD cops do that. Not to mention this obvious fatphobia and homophobia but i feel likes thats a given.

But back to Makoto. Shes a victim of bad writing just like everyone else. Ryuji during the kamoshida arc was fighting with self loathing and genuine anxiety, and aside from the like. One comment on Panthers outfit in the metaverse, hes more than well behaved. All of that is shelved as soon as Kamoshida is gone and replaced with him being weird comic relief (and the focus of alot of sexual jokes that were nonexistent in the beginning of the game). Anns arc about self love and empowerment is completely dropped as soon as the nasty bad guy is put away (so that its good to be weird about her w the Good Guys). Makoto loses her a chunk of her personality to be the mature waifu which is INSANE to me bc shes like. Not okay or normal at all 😭😭😭 she THINKS shes responsible and so does everyone else on her team, but its an act! She doesnt know shit! And she doesnt know that she doesnt know shit bc shes respectful and adults dont care about anything as long as u respect them!

Its very telling that for literally every single thief (and goro), you can see the exact moment the writers gave up on adding anything of worth to their characters outside of the social links. Its like they didnt know what to even do w the characters at their disposal after their main arcs were complete. No mention of friends hanging out without you, no mention of having group hangouts. Everyone is treated as a core, important member of the friend group DURING their arc, but outside of it, they are acquaintances at best. Theres nothing in the game that convinces you that these guys are legitimately friends who care for each other and do Friend Things. And i describe it like that bc there IS a game that treats them all as friends, and its strikers! Strikers/Scramble genuinely feels like the game p5 wanted to be; a road trip w your team where they stay up at night talking to each other and hanging out and doing things together that dont necessarily include you, the player. Its refreshing and lovely but it sucks that u get that kind of attention to detail in a ‘spinoff’ title

#chattin #i hesitate to use spinoff bc its a pretty big game #and theres an amazing plot with wonderful characterization #and their handling of jails and jail owners is LEAGUES better than the bs they tried to make up w palace users #and all the thieves feel like family. and not in the annoying fandom way; like #were family in the same way a family is forged and tended to. i love you. no one is left behind. no one is made to feel inferior another #its really good and honestly if u want more interactions between everyone i really recommend a playthrough #but yeah #p5 sucks #i love it but i love the version of it i made in my head LMAO #maybe p5r did a better job w the dialogue and some questionable scenes #(i wouldnt know. i didnt play it lol) #so maybe thats what people need to be using as a point of reference #but i only plyed p5 so this is what i have; a group of people who show up for meetings and then go about their life #and that kinda sucks. why make this wholly unique experience in which these teens can only relate to each other #make them bonded over their shared experience w this unbelievable world #and then not only make them NOT interact; but have the end be ‘okay by akira.’ and leave it at that #they just. didnt know what to do w anyone #they needed their girls to be waifubait and the boys to be an afterthought #they needed a buffet of older woman for pathetic men to fuck through their self insert #and they needed a story convoluted enough to keep people stuck trying to figure it out themselves #its bad. its so bad. its so fucking bad. but i have to be here. WE have to be here. #bc who else is going to take these characters out of hell and treat them right ??!!!

[l48yr1nth]

mane being somewhat aroace and still wanting a relationship so bad sucks ASS like just make up ur mind dude

#labyposting #sucks the worst when i remember that because of how it fluctuates its like impossible to have a steady relationship #1 month i have all the love in the world in my heart and the next i'm wondering if i have some kind of antisocial disorder #living life in the life of a noob i rarely use my gun

[magicveiled]

.....which one of you fucking theatre kids is behind this

#IM CAKLING THIS IS SO FUNNY #i cant for the life of me explain WHY THOUGH #YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW #AND HAD TO HAVE BEEN IN MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL THEATRE #AROUND THE TIME THEATRE ANIMACS WERE A BIG THING #BC OFC SOMEONE WOULD MAKE THIS 😂😂😂 #ooc. | * crack is a wonder drug ! #ooc. | * the real world sucks enter the matrix !

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

heyy just a quick update for yall bc ive been gone for a few days now. i got rlly fucking sick a few days ago and have been entirely bedridden, to the point where the past 48ish hours ive survived on less than one sleeve of saltines, ginger ale, and any medicine i can take without gagging. i have just now managed to change my clothes for the first time in days without having to rest in between. ill be fine i just got hit fucking HARD w whatever bug this is, so it may be a bit until im back n posting again lol

#🍯 #rn im feeling fine but most of today was spent wondering if i should rush to the trashcan or just lie still and hope the world is on my side #like. i usually dont get THIS sick idk what happened or where it came from #but anyway theres my little update for u #how do ppl survive illness in adult life this shit SUCKS

[drifloonz]

reader is in a otome game and it has like a gacha system in there and glitchy just pulls for reader every time their banner comes up IMAGINE THE ANGER THAT GLITCHY RED FELT WHEN HE DIDNT GET READER IN A LIMITED TIME EVENT IN THEIR GAME💀 (sorry my english is shit🙂)

no your english was actually perfectly fine thumbz up! also LMAO

i feel like glitchy would have the WORST luck at gachas ( opposite to me, whos sorta stupidly lucky in gacha games ) he'd like.. eventually hate gacha games bc he never gets what he wants. i also think he'd tryhard them a lot. he's the type of dude to make optimal / competitive heavy builds in games that have that sorta system to the point where it like lessens his enjoyment of the game bc hes so hyperfocused on being optimal or whatever.

alternatively, he's just playing like the rhythm gacha games. i dont know if he'd suck ass at rhythm games or be surprisingly good at them. not like it matters, his hands touching the phone prob make it lag or glitch tf out. im so sorry glitchy <3 one day they will make a phone that you do not fuck with simply by existing <3

i hope he gets a 5-star limited-time event reader one day... keep your chin up, king. you'll get that 5 star drop someday...

#wispy chatters #glitchy red x reader #( technically ) #idk what to tag this as #ask #headcanon #sure that works #IMAGINE IF THIS WAS ABT THE READER WHO WAS ALSO A SENTIENT AI IN A GAME #THE READER IN THAT WOULD JUST FUCKING LAUGH I FEEL. L to glitchy <3 at least you have them irl <3 #if you wondered i played genshin ( worst mistake of my life /hj ) and i have a shitton of 5 stars. #my first was raiden. the rest r uh. hu tao c1. jean c1. cyno. tighnari. dehya. mona c1. kazuha c1. ganyu. ayato. yoimiya #that is only on my main btw. this is not counting the 5 stars on my two alt accs. #i no longer play daily or consistently bc its so overwhelming and tiring to keep up with + Mihoyo sucks + Idk i just stopped caring as much #on a related note #i think glitchy would like open world games its just The Gacha and grinding elements of smth like genshin would piss him off eventually #he'd probably be fine with the much more casual ones though. cookie run kingdom player glitchy will be real

[lastoneout]

sometimes I don't think I could be autistic and/or like all that neurodivergent and then other times my fiancé makes a practical and logical argument as to why we don't need a tiny colander that's too small for most tasks and that to save space in the sink/cabinets I should learn to use the medium sized one and honestly we should probably just get rid of the small one and I am filled with such an immense rush of panic and discomfort and grief that I can't even explain it properly until I am saying shit like "the tiny colander is my friend" and "using the big one just FEELS wrong, you know, like going to albertsons instead of safeway" and "next you're gonna tell me I have to use the big soup spoons instead of the little ones and I'll pass away" and I can tell while he does love me and isn't actually mad he def thinks I'm being super illogical and can't fully understand why

like yes I KNOW I am being illogical I am well aware of that...however!! If things are different I will die and if I have to get rid of object that is my friend I will ALSO die, and the only explanation I have is "I like to have things a very specific way even if it doesn't make sense or is less convenient or wastes time and space and changing it is REALLY hard I can't just go "oh you're right" and then change it just doesn't work like that" which is like.....not a great explanation I don't think but that's literally all I've got so???

and like this is legit the only thing we ever "argue" over(bcs we aren't actually fighting we're just talking) it's just him being like "hey the way you do things is inefficient and doesn't make a lot of sense, wouldn't it be easier/make more sense to do it this way?" and then me scrambling to try to articulate "that's fair, but this is the way I do things, I can't change that" in a way that doesn't make me sound dismissive or insane or something which doesn't really seem to work all that well, or like...isn't really getting what I mean across correctly at the very least

#my fiancé is wonderful and we weren't actually fighting #I just have like....I have a certain WAY I prefer to do thing and and specific things I use to do them #and using OTHER things even if they are basically the same #feels like he's asking me to cut my arm off #like he tries to logic his way out of things and I'm like yes I understand the logic #and then he's like 'okay so you're going to do it this way then?' #and I'm like 'no I can't I'll die' #so idk my brain don't work right or something #and I feel bad too bcs like he has to deal with the consequences of me being like this too #like he only brought it up cuz having to do an extra dish is annoying and I agree!! that must suck #and so I want to change to make his life easier... #but using a different collander feels like wearing my jeans inside out #it's not the end of the world but it does SUCK and my brain REALLY does not want to let me do it #I usually do try to accomodate when he points out a different way for me to do things #especially if it like actually makes sense to me I def try to do those ones cuz I agree #but sometimes when it's little stuff I get just a little offended and sad cuz it's like... #is it really such a big deal if I do things in a way that doesnt make sense? #it's so exhausting to try to change #and I'm already trying to deal with my depression and trauma #I don't think I can take not using the small colander even if it doesnt make sense

[thebleedingeffect]

.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks. #ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

[mintharan]

i think it's fine for gay people to be put off by cishet people actually and how they interact with media, since we're not yet living in a world where lgbt people occupy the same space or are afforded the same rights. Cisheteronormativity impacts lgbt people negatively and constantly, and it's inescapable. i don't think it's being mean on the internet to point that out and I don't appreciate that whenever gay people have something to say suddenly everyone on earth becomes bisexual and we're being biphobic. it's disingenuous, cruel and dismissive, and it misses the point entirely.

#people can't even say 'there's too much het content in this online space' without people being 'think of the bi people' #well i'm married to a bi woman and she doesn't really appreciate het content all that much #there's an abundance of it everywhere #we go out and we see way more het couples than gay couples #we are looking for housing and constantly afraid of being descriminated #i don't talk about my personal life at my job #but sure maybe some of the women imagining barefoot in the kitchen fantasies with astarion are bi #and some of the men talking about how they could make a real woman out of karlach are too and i'm being cruel #these things have no real life impact and i should just let people have fun #online isn't real after all #i should log off and retreat into the wonderful world where i'm surrounded by other faggots dykes and trannies and we're all accepted #being a dyke in fandom spaces sucks so much #i'm reminded why i kept away for years #i should get back to my politics blog

[dreamicus]

For The World is Hollow and I Have Toched the Sky isn't just weirdly poetic without any meaning,.it s actually the best and coolest title ever because. You see. Life is bad and they're in space

#life sucks. im leaving to space #bones did that twice i wonder if leaving the people he loves and still finding it unbearable to be apart from them is a pattern #seriously that title makes me so crushingly insane #like. #the world is hollow. i have touched the sky. #that s bones #im sick

[sutille]

gals. I'm tired.

#like #i really love studying and working #in what i do because I'm helping people and learning so many awssome and interesting things #but i sometimes get so so so tired #and it is worse knowing that I'm the pronest to depression person i have ever met in my life and it sucks #AND THE MONEY #MONEY IS SO FREAKING ANNOYING #I HATE CAPITALISM SO MUCH #I JUST WANT TO DISCOVER AND LEARN EVERYTHING I CAN ABOUT THIS AWESOME AND WONDERFUL WORLD AND UNIVERSE WHILE LOOKING FOR STABILITY AND PEACE #OF MIND #I JUST WANT TO HELP AND BE BY MY FAMILY'S SIDE AND THAT'S IT #sigh #charlie char talks

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

I don't know what compelled me to do this. But back when tumblr seemed like it was ending in 2018. I screen-shotted literally every nice message or words I got on this website. It is basically a giant folder. I craved validation when I was younger for so many reasons. It's definitely not a healthy habit by any means.

But I just re-read them all for the first time in years.

And I'm literally crying.

This place used to be so full. In the darkest periods of my life, it seemed like I had a whole world of kind strangers behind me. The gratitude I have for those people is insurmountable. I'm so overwhelmingly touched. These echoing words from the past.

I think what makes me the most emotional about it. I can count on one hand the people who are still with me. They've mostly migrated to other sites. But god. All these people who are no longer in my life. Whether it be dissolved friendships. Followers simply moving on.

It's just a painful fact of life. Most people in this world aren't going to be permanent fixtures in your life. Some people are simply here just to teach us a life lesson or give us a beautifully unique experience. It's just incredibly heartfelt to see all these people who once supported me. These people moved mountains in my state of mind.

These people believed in me before I did myself.

I lost a good chunk of my audience around 2019. There was a notable decline when people got the idea that when I was finally mentally stable/sober enough, I no longer needed them. That wasn't necessarily true. Everyone in this world wants to be loved.

I just can't help but wonder where these people are now. I lost touch with them so unwillingly more often than not. It's just moving to read the words from people you once considered so vital/important to your being. I hope they know how deeply I appreciated them.

I wouldn't be who I am without their love.

To those who are still with me, you know who you are.

I love you beyond comprehension.

#this world can be beautiful #it just sucks to lose people #life is weird and wonderful #i was so blessed #random thoughts idk #personal

[whimsyprinx]

every day is just me hoping that I’ll die one way or another

#whimsy whispers #whims woes #delete later #I hope that I die in my sleep and never have to open my eyes #or that when I go out to run errands that someone hits the side of the car where I’m sat at #or that some freak accident happens and I die #that the world ends #it that I do end up electrocuted like I’m afraid of ahdjfjjt #I don’t even care if it hurts at this point I just like don’t want to be here #but here I am I’m still here I’m still alive I wake up every day and it’s the same as always #I wonder if I’ll be able to function or if everything will hurt so bad that I don’t even get out of bed #ofc it’s not that I like or want to feel this way I wish life was like worth living but life is worthless because I’m worthless #I’m useless and pathetic and can’t do anything right and I jsut don’t want to be here anymore #but like I’ll wake up tomorrow and as said before it’ll all repeat #every day is the same #some days just suck more #gonna go try and be like normal again (ignore how I feel and hope it goes away)

[the-trans-dragon]

Kinda a weirdly specific take, but I don’t know how anyone could reach the “all men are bad” conclusion unless they like. Never work retail.

Like, really? All men? I get a lot of annoying sexist remarks thrown at me all day (by men and women) but I also get treated with respect by men?

Sometimes a customer is a man who politely asks me where to find something and then thanks me and goes about his day?

Idk, I just can’t imagine living within society and never meeting a good man. Sometimes people are assholes. Sometimes they’re very gentle and understanding and want you to have a good day. Sometimes they’re men and sometimes they’re women.

Also every single person is going to have Morally Good and Morally Bad qualities according to an individuals specific, subjective definitions. The nicest man is going to have some bad qualities, but that doesn’t make him bad. A cruel woman is going to have some good qualities, but that doesn’t make her good.

What are they even judging people by? By actions? By intentions? By affect on the world? By how close the person is to 100% meeting all of their individual rules for Being Morally Good? How does someone work retail (and see every type of person there is) and decide that they’re an authority on if Every Man Ever is bad or not?

#sorenhoots #what I’m trying to say is: if you’ve never met a man who’s nice you have gotten to live a very different life than me #most men that *are* assholes to me are like. typical conservative white cishet guys #like the kind that Christian BakeSale Women end up marrying yknow? like the kind all my old classmates ended up marrying? #but it’s like? have you not ever been around men who aren’t at the top of society? have you not ever been around men who #have different political views than their conservative father? #have you not ever worked retail??????? #if someone has only ever met bad men; they live in such a different world than me #I work at a liquor store and I literally see every social class of human #rich fuckers who think I’m an idiot for not knowing what their Special Bourbon #and people who have $3 to their name and are spending it on the cheapest vodka we have so they can forget about life for a bit #all genders all social classes all sexualities all ages #and getting exposed to literally every type of person ever has absolutely proven to me that #men can be soft and kind and gentle and tender and sympathetic #and men can be aware of how it sucks to be a woman and accommodate for the way they know other men are shitty #and they can be so good and kind and it’s unforgettable #yeah the rudest assholes I ever had the displeasure to be near were men; but I’ve also been treated like dogshit by women #and I can’t say which gender has shown me the most kindness. truly they all have #I wonder if I’ll save this as a draft or post it #im posting it I guess

[samuraisharkie]

girl help I’m experiencing that common yet elusive late night motivation to get my life together knowing it will fall apart in the morning </3 girl fucking help me

#I hate ittt #I’m always like ‘I’m gonna start doing this’ or ‘I’m gonna finally try and get myself in a place where I can maybe take college classes’ #and ‘I’m really gonna try and fix my sleep schedule and stop getting distracted instead of getting something accomplished’ #and then in the morning evil me is back and they hate me and everything else #and would sell the world to hell for five more minutes of sleep #and my executive dysfunction has its claws in me again #man it sucks being so behind. I don’t want to like complain and make it sound like I’m worthless bc I’m not but man it’s hard #it’s hard watching ppl younger than you achieve your dreams of learning and getting better and breaking through that mental fog #they’re not always much younger either just like. two years is enough to make me wonder what would have happened if I was there #I know it’s not all in my control why I’m here either— there’s a lot of factors at play #but one of them IS that growing up I couldn’t never beat that executive dysfunction plus mental fog and procrastination #and then I shot myself in the foot by saying I waited to long and shouldn’t even try #and now I’m realizing I could but the years I spent fighting with myself weigh me down now and then #I can’t let it get to me because if I let myself get weighed down by it all I pull others down with me #but sometimes it does make me sad. and frustrated. when I feel this motivation when im lying in bed tired at some ungodly hour #suddenly struck with wanting to change my life and not having the daylight nor the physical/mental ability to get it done right then #not to mention the privacy. if I chose to get up at the buttcheeks of midnight and morning I would be not only destroying my own schedule #but disturbing a bunch of others too #anyway this wasn’t supposed to turn into a rant sorry #I haven’t talked a lot lately so it’s all bubbling inside I guess

[dollservant]

mmmbbbb my master is soooo perfect and sweet and sexy and kind aansbdhdhrhsmvn i swear i've never been happier in my life, my desire to make sure this man never has to lift a finger if he doesn't feel like it grows daily i want to dedicate my life to maximizing my master's pleasure

#making him happy makes me sooooooooo happy #so i think i'll be happy being his servant for the rest of my life #to allow him to spend every moment as he pleases #to work for him #clean for him #suck his dick #oh my god #fantasizing..... #being his servant is the most fulfilling thing in the world #i feel like i'm having a response to it like a drug i'm addicted to #i love the taste of being a servant i get to have now #so i just want more and more #i want to maximize my servitude #you know what i mean? #this is my purpose #and i'm so lucky #to be doing it for someone as wonderful as master #thank god fucking seriously #now that i know what servitude feels like #i just want to be like this forever #so please don't leave okay #i don't want to do this for anyone else ever #the idea of finding someone else to become their servant is so #yucky.... it's a situation that's way too easy for someone to take advantage of #seriously i'm so lucky. master is so... he's Everything #i HAVE to live like this and the fact that i get yo do it for Him #oh god i love it so much #woof