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corporatefrog · 1 year

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╰┈➤ Welcome Back to the Channel

part 3; the storm

: ̗̀➛ notes - shaking things up a bit with this part! it's a very dialogue driven scene but I wasn't sure whether to make it written out or over text. I ended up making it written out so please let me know if you enjoy this format as well! I love writing both the social media and actual scene aspects but I always worry my actual writing doesn't make sense to other people

tags - college au, superhero au, professor chaos is dr. doofinshmirtz

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Why did I schedule a night class? In what world would that have been a good idea?

I grumbled other complaints as I walked towards the door to my apartment building, adjusting the strap of my backpack for the hundredth time that night. The stars peaked through the sky’s thick darkness. I traced my eyes along imaginary constellations while running through my night routine.

Get home, take a shower, get some dinner, watch a few episodes of Mob Psycho-

“It’s late for someone to be walking alone in this area.” A voice behind me cut off my thoughts.

Glancing down at my watch, I turned to face whoever spoke, “I mean it’s only 9:30…” My words trailed off as I saw who stood behind me. Streetlamp rays reflected off tinfoil, blinding the eyes momentarily until the full figure of Professor Chaos came into view. He stood with hands on his hips and an expression that could only be described as utterly dastardly.

Holy shit it’s Professor Chaos. Like THE Professor Chaos.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” He began, pointing a finger at me, “It’s actually CHAOS O’CLOCK!” He went silent after the exclamation, face still contorted in the mischievous expression.

What?

I looked down the alleys to our left and right, waiting for whatever “Chaos O’Clock” entailed. Honestly, I was more confused than nervous and very far from scared. Professor Chaos was awesome after all. But the situation unfolded so suddenly that residual shock still paralyzed the part of my brain that would be freaking out over seeing THE Professor Chaos.

There was also a creeping curiosity which wanted to see what he wanted despite the alarms in my head shouting “VILLAIN. THIS IS A VILLAIN!” So I stood in the alley, staring at Professor Chaos still stuck in the same pose, waiting for something to happen.

After a minute that felt like an hour passed, I had fully moved from scared to concerned. Chaos had yet to make another move but I noticed his arm began to shake in its pointed position.

Is he waiting for ME to react or something?

“Is there a reason you stopped me? Or did you just want to try that line?” I asked, turning my direction back to Chaos. At that, his facade broke. His face cracked from its furrowed brow smirk to a furrowed brow frown as the villain’s shoulder’s slouched.

“Well, uh, both?” He began to pick at the tinfoil wrapping his arms, “I thought of it earlier and wanted to see if it landed.”

Oh.

“Oh.” I parrotted my own thoughts then quickly jumped to follow up, “I guess it did? It could’ve used a bit more build up?” I offered. Will I get murdered for criticizing a villain’s presentation? Or would I get arrested for helping a villain with their performance approach?

I mean, this is professor chaos. What murdering is actually going to happen?

As if reinforcing my thoughts, Chaos’ demeanor retreated further from the confidence he led with. His posture seemed to relax from the inauthentic performance he’d held before, snapping his fingers in an ‘Aw shucks’ motion as he began to glance around the alley himself as if to check if anyone else saw the failed mic drop.

“Aw, hamburgers. I was really hoping it would, ya know,” He looked back at me, lifting eyebrows with a jazz hand flair, “strike fear.”

This is kind of awkward. I feel like I’m not supposed to see the rough draft of a villain attack.

I nodded my head slowly, checking the area out of the corner of my eye for a way to easily get out of this conversation, “Yeah, strike fear. I totally get it.”

The alleys to my left and right were empty. At least they appeared empty from what I could see with the minimal light cast from the streetlamp. How had I not noticed the lack of light on this street before? This can't be safe for a city characterized by having an abundance of crime.

What could be lurking in those shadows?

My lukewarm reaction must have been sufficient as Professor Chaos jumped into his next point, “It’s just hard to keep coming up with new material all the time when you don’t have anyone to try it out with! So I thought I’d do a mini run with this one and see how it went, but obviously there’s still more that can be done.”

Chaos continued to ramble about the logistics of organizing evil plans and how to best get a shocking reaction with the perfect line. The words meant nothing to me but he seemed so deeply invested in his own world that I took my chance at escape.

My feet began to inch backwards to put distance between me and Chaos. He didn’t seem to notice the movement, continuing to mumble about different plans while moving hands wildly.

“Well, I’ll leave you to workshop the line. Looking forward to hearing the new material next time.” I turned and began quickly walking towards my apartment building once again, wanting nothing more than to process this interaction in the warmth of my apartment.

“WAIT! General Disarray, stop them!”

A flash of gray flew out from the alley. Suddenly, a shorter boy with curly hair blocked my path with arms and legs spread out in a large ‘X’. His eyes glinted with the same sharpness as Chaos, a hunger for revenge or at least minor annoyance. A sigh fell from my mouth before I could hold it back.

“Come on, man. I’m tired.” I whined, the original curiosity gone leaving me with the exhaustion I’d felt before Chaos had shown up.

“But you’re also hungry for chaos, aren’t you?”

“What.”

What the fuck does that mean?

Chaos jumped at the chance to elaborate. He walked towards me with a smoothness which resembled a snake slithering towards its prey. It was as if the previous lapse in persona had never happened.

“I know you’ve seen my acts of chaos,” He circled me now, my head spinning to keep eyes on the recovered villain, “and I know you admire our work to ruin South Park.”

Nerves began to prick at the back of my neck. A shiver ran up my spine like an electric current, alerting me to my surroundings.

“How do you know that?” I asked, words croaked out as my throat suddenly dried. Chaos paused in his steps, seemingly buffering in his newfound swagger.

“Um…I saw it on twitter?” Though the words came out as a question, the statement slammed into my chest with the weight of an accusation. My breath stuttered as I fought the urge to physically step back, standing my ground despite the growing panic.

Twitter? No. Not my Twitter. No way he saw my Twitter.

“No.” I shot back without waiting to fully process what had been said.

Please god not twitter. If he saw the tweets I’m thinking of- I can’t even imagine it.

“Yes! I read so many tweets about what you thought of my exploits!” Chaos’ confidence seemed to return as mine plummeted.

No, no, no, no. I can’t believe I’ve been talking to him this whole time when he’s known everything.

“Please tell me you didn’t see my private” I nearly dropped to the ground to beg the universe. Professor Chaos could only laugh, a booming sound which echoed down the street.

“Oh I saw the private.” He grinned down at me, and I began to understand why he was a villain, “I saw ALL of the private!”

“OH GOD NO!” I wailed. My head fell into my hands, not wanting to face the subject of many embarrassing scrimbly blimp tweets.

Most of those were ironic! How was he supposed to know those were ironic thoughts! He thinks you’re a freak and now you’re going to be chaos-ified for the rest of your life!

“It’s okay, I admire your dedication to chaos.”

I looked up, peering at Chaos over my hands. The light of the streetlamp reflected off his helmet again, this time creating a circle of light which glowed around his head like a halo.

“You’re not freaking out by the edits?” I asked slowly.

Chaos’ brows furrowed, “Edits? What do you-” His eyes drifted to a spot behind me. When I turned my head to follow his eyes, I only saw general disarray leaning against a dumpster whistling nonchalantly.

Wait a second, when was there a dumpster there-

“I mean- YES! I know the edits and they were very good!” Chaos’ voice pulled my attention back to the original point.

I stood up from the ground, embarrassment no longer weighing me down as I spoke with renewed life, “Really? They were just ones I found on tiktok but I thought they were hilarious- wait.” My arms dropped to my sides as the realization dawned upon me.

I should’ve known. This is exactly what he wanted.

“What?” Chaos asked, making a very good act at being confused at my sudden change in demeanor.

Nice try, buddy. But I know your tricks.

Now it was my turn to point at Chaos, “You’re just distracting me!” I accused, quickly turned my hand back to hit it against my forehead, “God dammit can’t believe i got chaosed by fucking Professor Chaos.”

Chaos shook off his perplexed expression, replacing it with a diabolical grin and a menacing laugh, “HAHAHHA! YES! Chaos has struck again!”

“YOU WON’T TRAP ME YOU DASTARDLY BASTARD!” I shouted, slapping my hands over my ears. I turned and began sprinting towards the apartment building.

General Disarray lept to block my path but the momentum of running allowed me to knock him out of my path with a shoulder check. I winced as the sound of a body hitting a dumpster penetrated my hand earmuffs. But I didn’t look back. Now was the time for escape!

“GENERAL DISARRAY DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY! WE NEED THEIR CHAOS!”

Chaos’ shout only motivated me to run faster until another person appeared.

“Harassing people so late at night? That’s despicable of you Chaos.” The voice said. I glanced down at my phone, repeating the confused motion that started all of this.

“It’s literally 9:45”

From behind, you could clearly see the question mark which stuck into the air. Mysterion was taller than I thought he would be which only helped make him appear intimidating when staring down Chaos.

My comment went unnoticed as Chaos jumped at the chance to engage with the new figure, “Out of my way, Mysterion! This isn’t about you!” He exclaimed, eyes shining with an energy that had been missing during his previous proclamations of evil. I could almost feel the tension between the two of them like static electricity slowly building to an electric spark.

“Anything related to crime is about me. And you are a criminal.” Myterion replied, hand hovering over his belt as if to grab a weapon I couldn’t see. His deep voice paired with the dark costume created an intimidating appearance that set off my alarms more than Chaos had during the whole interaction.

Woah, woah, woah. Let’s not get too violent, guys…

“He’s really more of an inconvenience” I spoke up to try and ease the tension.

Chaos peered around Mysterion, mouth agape and eyes wide with disbelief. I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to lie about the truth of the evening. Sure, it had been an interesting 15 minutes but it wasn’t anything that would leave me scarred for life. It was more of a dream journal experience.

“Remember the stock market!” He shouted, hands thrown in the air to emphasize the importance of the statement. I hummed in acknowledgement, nodding my head as the memory returned to the front of my mind.

“Oh shit yeah. I always forget the stock market.”

“You should go home.” Mysterion cut in, nodding in the direction of Chaos and Disarray, “I’ll take care of them.”

That was probably the coolest thing I’ve ever heard someone say.

“Uh, okay.” I flashed Mysterion a thumbs up then slowly backed away, waiting until there was a few dozen feet between me and Chaos before turning around and making my way back home.

Various shouts floated through the air from the hero and villain. Insults hurled towards the other with some landing with an offended gasp or bouncing off with a confident laugh. There seemed to be a pep in Chaos’ actions once Mysterion showed up. As though the villain could not truly be complete without the hero. I guess the transaction goes the other way as well. If I had run into Mysterion instead of Chaos, would he have been similarly lost? Waiting for a proper adversary to perform for?

Dude, why do I give a single fuck? I’ve got a comfy blanket with my name on it back home. I pushed the philosophical thoughts about the concept of heroes and villains, instead walking back to my apartment to finally end the long day.

taglist [reply to be added]: @sula0kin @lacuna-at-dawn @anglettecolours @cocolena@sukisprettyface @feverish-dove @sweetadonisbutbetter @hand-writxen @mishstuff @sophtophie @onaluvstowrite @lacunaanonymoused

#my professor chaos is dr. doof coded #mysterion for perry the platypus 2023 #ahhh i haven't shared an actual written fic since like 2018 #that's like 20 years in fanfic time #south park #mysterion #professor chaos #south park x reader #tfbw #sp tfbw #the fractured but whole #welcome back to the chanel #corporatefrog

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