#The Emperor's New Groove
Based on this post I made it happen @rowansparrow
(Click for higher quality)
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Why do llamas in cartoons always have to be total pieces of shit?
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#my wraith :)#not kazs :knife:
excuse me @shedaggers don’t you mean:
The Wraith. The Wraith for Kaz, the Wraith chosen especially to protect Kaz, Kaz’s Wraith.
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☕️ your other favorite Disney films in addition to Tangled?
Beauty and the Beast. Probably the top competition for Tangled's position as favorite Disney movie. Amazing songs, beautiful art, touching romance, good adaptation of the fairy tale. I've become less fond of Belle over the years (prob Emma Watson's fault), but this is still such a great movie that I'm willing to overlook the significant timeline inconsistencies.
Lady and the Tramp. As a kid, we had taped a TV airing of this movie, and I loved rewatching it even though half of it was interrupted by storm warnings. There's just something so sweet and soothing about the story. I mean, it starts with a cute puppy! A baby is the major plot point! The married couple is so affectionate that the dog thinks their names are Jim Dear and Darling! The dogs get help from Gopher from Winnie the Pooh! Trusty lives! And that's not even getting into the cuteness of the classic opposite-sides-of-the-tracks love story. Sure, it's weird to grow up and find out that this kid's movie features the dog equivalent of a pre-marital sex scandal, but like, they're dogs! You're not supposed to think too deeply about this. Also, "He's a Tramp" and "Bella Note" are both amazing songs and vastly underrated in the Disney canon.
Cinderella. My favorite as a kid. As an adult, I’m frustrated by how the cat-and-mice shenanigans take up half the running time, but that doesn’t change the good parts, like the fact that Cinderella is a spunky, working-girl heroine who also gets one of the greatest ballgowns in cinematic history, or that the stepmother is a wonderfully chilling villain, or that the king is a sweet guy who just wants grandchildren and makes a great comedy double-act with the duke (one of the few terrible things about the 2015 version is the character assassination of the duke).
Treasure Planet. This movie is so deeply my aesthetic. Pirate ships in space! It looks amazing! The story is amazing! Captain Amelia is amazing! The last act is terrible, but the first 2/3 of the movie is so awesome that it’ll always be one of my favorites, and it makes me wish Disney had done more adventure films in this vein.
The Emperor’s New Groove. Disney does Looney Tunes. As a child whose very first fictional love was Looney Tunes, you can understand how much I appreciate this. I do appreciate this movie more as an adult than I did as a kid, but I sometimes can’t believe how totally iconic every second of this movie is.
The Princess Diaries: I first saw this at exactly the right age to think it was the best movie in the world. I still think it’s pretty amazing. So many iconic moments. So many great characters. Wonderful modern-day version of a Ruritanian story. Yes, the story is cheesy, but there’s a wit and sparkle to the script and acting that elevate this above tween-girl fare into a surprisingly solid coming-of-age comedy.
The Absent-Minded Professor: This was the movie my sixth-grade class watched during our Christmas party. I’d already seen Flubber, but I thought this movie was better by far. I’ve only seen it, like 0.5 times since, but that experience had such a strong impression on me that I still have fond memories of the movie.
The Parent Trap: How can a story about the world’s most insane custody arrangement be so endearing? I love swapped identity storylines, and combining it with the classic “we need to defeat the evil future stepmother who wants to send the children to boarding school” plot just adds to the fun. It’s been ages since I’ve seen the whole thing, but I see bits and pieces of it every once in a while and it still makes me happy.
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TWO OF SWORDS
"Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know " - The Clash
The Two of Swords signifies a time in your life when you are standing at a very important crossroad of your life, with two directions you can go on but don't know which one is the best and maybe you're even avoiding making that decision because once it's made you know you can't go back. So you sit on the fence, debate the truth, avoid your feelings, refuse to look at the facts and all the while feel torn between two distinct sides of yourself. This can mean being torn between two lovers, two careers, two life paths, ect. It was another card that was rather hard given what Hollywood movies/shows I had to go on because quite often protagonists just jump into their next action-- which is very much the opposite of this card.
One of the most important things I ever heard about this card that really made me grasp the meaning was when someone pointed out that on the Raider Waite deck, the woman who is blindfolded and holding two swords up can not stay like that forever. She doesn't know which one to drop, doesn't want to make that decision, but no one can hold up two big, weighty swords forever-- just by the power of sheer physics alone, one of them eventually has to drop.
::WHO’S WHO ON THIS CARD::
1. Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove (not that his decisions are that weighty in the movie, but often we can feel like we have a devil and an angel on our shoulders when this card comes up, two voices in our head trying to persuade us what to do next)
2. Castiel from Season 4 of Supernatural (maybe some of the other seasons too, but mostly season 4 when he's really stuck between breaking ranks from the other angels and joining the Winchester Team or not-- a lot of that feeling stuck and soul-searching feeling and not knowing which way to turn will come up when this card comes into play).
3. Megara from Hercules (especially the "At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love..." scene where she's really avoiding the truth of her feelings, not wanting to budge, denying how she feels and not wanting to rock the boat but its getting harder and harder for her to deny her truth)
4. Malorie Hayes from Bird Box (I guess I might have just liked the blindfold imagery here, but also this can signify the feeling of avoiding what is out there and almost being horrified to find out)
5. Cinderella from Into The Woods (The "On The Steps Of The Palace" song is basically her working her way through the dilemma the Two of Swords moment put before her)
6. Chidi from The Good Place (Chidi's main flaw throughout much of the show is that he overanalyzes everything, he is the ultimate ditherer, unable to see the forest for the trees; it even takes him eighty-two minutes to pick a hat in one episode-- so much fence sitting and Two of Swords energy there)
Miss Prissy: Trabajan tres bombas de ajo especiales con tocino, dos ordenes…
Claudio: Oye, yo no…
Miss Prissy: …de quita manchas, un plato de aros de hígado en salsa, la sugerencia del día y un filete de res en forma de perro.
Miss Prissy: ¿Alguna duda lindo?
Claudio: Tres levanta muertos, dos platos de ácido, una orden de viseras y un perro hecho toro. ¡Lo tengo!
Fuente: Las locuras del Emperador (2000)
A comprehensive list of men who should have been tumblr men but aren’t
Maybe part 1 Idfk
If for some reason anyone in the back don’t know what I’m referring to as soon as I say something like onceler I’m pretty sure 60% will cringe w war flash backs, 30% will connect the dots and the last 10% will still be clueless. If you are the 10% god bless your soul
Anyways to begin I want to start off strong.
Fucking tulio from the road to el dorado. Anyone who’s seen my past posts already got the idea.
Next there is:
Ratchet from the robots movie. Like can someone tell me how this mother fucker never exploded on here. Like this movie was an acid trip and a half and y’all going to ignore this slick ass, kick ass and probably kinky ass bitch? If u said yes, your lying.
Next on this list is for the furries of tumblr:
Fantastic mr. fox. Now I’m well aware of some of the more infamous tumblr simp ships like the onceler as stated before, Raymond, and fucking murders (yea I didn’t forget you freaks either. Get help) Now it’s been a while since I have seen this movie so my memory is a bit hazy on it, but from the bits and pieces I do remember, yea no this fox man has probably some kinny screaming over him. Idk if he ever did become one on here, but I never heard shit about him so he’s on this list.
And finally since I’m too lazy to think of others is:
Kuzco. Don’t lie to yourselves. You still think this man deserves to be a Disney princess and I’m with you. I understand this one might be a bit of a stretch but anyone with a degradation kink, Ik yall are here don’t deny it, would totally want this dude to fucking roast the shit out of you. Also head canon 90% sure he’s an LGBT+ icon and no one can change my mind on that.
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How about a Disney origin movie for Yzma where she spends over 20 years serving a spoiled brat and keeping his kingdom from being run into the ground only to be fired without a second thought by said brat?
Wait a minute...
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YAIZA ZELAYA is eighty-five (maybe?) years old. She is retired. She is the humanized version of Yzma from the Disney film, The Emperor’s New Groove.
+ Savvy, Shrewd, Stylish
- Ruthless, Bitter, Vain
Yaiza Mayra Zelaya was raised to rule. Her father, an extremely rich figure in the funerary services’ business, hired a veritable troop of maids and nannies to educate, coach, and, why not, spoil the girl all the way through her life until her teenage years. His sudden and mysterious death by poison left his place as the leader of the company for her to inherit –and yet the board of investors managed to keep her out of it, leaving her simply to enjoy a handsome pay and an empty title. Still, Yaiza wanted more.
Studying hard with the best tutors and professors, and excelling at chemistry, Yaiza decided to fund her own pharmaceutical business from the ground up –with a little loan from her father’s fortune, of course. The business boomed, and soon Yaiza expanded it to cosmetics, which she promoted herself through her popular image as a philanthropist fashion icon and part-time model. After decades of unparalleled success, however, her empire began crumbling down when one of the orphans she adopted for good publicity, Cuzco, grew more and more popular for his copious spending, big parties, and extravagant lifestyle. The antipathy Yaiza felt towards his adopted son became outright hatred when he was featured on an interview claiming that he was the successor of Yaiza Zelaya to inherit the company. Infuriated, Yaiza decided to take a break from managing her many businesses and have a vacation at sleepy little Redwood Hollow in order to wind down, relax, and concoct a plan to get rid of Cuzco for good.
Loves cats, and has a purebred white Persian Longhair named Señor Bigotes.
Very fashion forward, dresses only in the latest designs and most outrageous outfits.
While being perfectly able to behave like a perfectly lovely dear abuelita, Yaiza’s also completely willing to drop the act in a second, and become scary beyond all reason.
Yaiza is currently unavailable. Her faceclaim is Rita Moreno.
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Reminds Me Of This:
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Does anyone else lie awake thinking about how Yzma canonically raised Kuzco, that Kuzco was a teenager, and how dark that makes certain parts of The Emperor’s New Groove or is that just me?
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Ah yes, the D&D combat map, the combat map designed for the TPK, the D&D combat map design for for the TPK, the D&D combat map made just for the TPK, the TPK's map...that map.
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The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) dir. Mark Dindal
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Maleficent: I just ended a four year relationship..
Kronk: Oh, I’m sorry- are you okay?
Maleficent: Hm? Yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship..
*Cut to Lady Tremaine and Frollo arguing from across the room*
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Incorrect Disney Quotes 8
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So I filled in some memes using Disney characters some time ago and feel like posting them
I did not create these templates.
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The Emperor's New Groove - Pull the Lever, Kronk
So Disney has been going through it's animated movies and doing live action remakes.
Also, the original story they had planned for The Emperor's New Groove, AKA The Sun King, was much darker.
If Disney ever gets around to TENG, they should revitalize the old plot and use the old name.
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So I got my wisdom teeth taken out, all four of them, and now I look like a fucking hamster. It doesn't hurt so it's fine really, but I can't smile and I literally can't chew because my cheeks are so swollen. I've been living off smoothies and soup the entire time!
But there's an upside! It's barely been two days and I've so far watched the entire Falcon and Winter Soldier series, The Emperor's New Groove, Hercules and have started on the Mandalorian! Nice.
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