In the early evening once the dishes have been cleared away, I wait in Michelle’s room. Downstairs, she speaks to Jen and Hazel for a while, their voices soft and solemn, until eventually Hazel goes home, alone.
“They couldn’t find him?” I ask her when she sweeps into the room, though I already know the answer.
“No,” she rolls her tights down her legs to start changing into the sweatpants she prefers to spend the evenings in while I fidget my hands in my lap. She’s trying very hard not to look at me, her shoulders have that tense line about them that I know so well. With anxiety slowly unfurling inside me I decide I would much rather get this over with than prolong the inevitable horrors.
“I didn’t let him escape on purpose. You realise that, right?”
She can’t hold back the tremble in her voice, “I just can’t believe you left the door open.”
“It was an accident, I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Accidents don’t just happen, Jude,” She says, her tone rising with each word, “You were supposed to be watching him, Hazel said that he could escape if we weren’t careful.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”
My guilt and remorse only irritates her more, “You were just standing there like some kind of fecking eejit with the door wide open, how could you not notice?”
“Because you were picking on me over the wine, I was distracted.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault now?”
“Oh God, please.”
“What?”
I hold my head in my hands and exhale a frustrated laugh, “Nothing.”
“Do you have something to say?”
“Let’s focus on Goose, okay? I’m going to do everything I can to find him. I’ll search all over Clontarf, I’ll knock on doors, I’ll put up posters...”
She scoffs, “Goose is probably under the wheels of a train by now.”
The violent imagery of that is enough to make me rear back in shock, “How could you say that?”
“Because that’s probably what happened. Nobody wants to say it to Hazel, but we’re all thinking it. The tracks are right there, and it’s probably the first place he went.”
“I wasn’t thinking it, God, Shell, what a horrible thought to have.”
“Well,” she shrugs, “that’s reality. This is what you’ve done, so, I hope you know.”
I watch her, speechless as she casually steps into her grey jersey sweatpants, casually picking bits of lint off her thighs. “Why are you being like this?” I manage.
She pulls off her sweatshirt to switch it for a vest, “like what?”
“It’s like you’re trying to punish me, I already know it was bad, but it was a mistake-”
“Yeah you don’t have to keep saying that. We all know it was a mistake, but it was the kind of mistake that only you would make.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know what it means.”
“Why don’t you just say-”
She whirls around and flings her jumper at me, “Because you’re an idiot!” She explodes, “You’re a fucking idiot and this is the kind of shit you do!”
This is the kind of shit she does. She starts screaming out of nowhere, and then inevitably gets louder and louder and shouts over me until the room shakes and I have to shout back to be heard. I usually skip the foreplay these days and escalate it immediately. “Oh,” my voice scrapes my throat, “you think that’s helpful? Just throwing shit?”
“Please, shut up!” she’s digging through her chest of drawers for something else to wear, and her movements are tense, jerky with anger, “and stop looking at me!”
“Why? I’m talking to you.”
“Because you don’t get to look at me in my underwear when I’m mad at you.”
“My God, what? You think I haven’t seen it all before? Do you really think I’ve got that on my mind right now?”
“Yeah, because that’s about all you think about isn’t it? That’s all you want me for.” She wiggles into a vest and crosses her arms, “Sex, sex, sex, when am I getting it? Where are we doing it? You’re an animal.”
“Oh please, you think about it all the time too.”
It’s almost inconceivable to think of now, that first time we ever did it right here in this room, on this bed, and the shadowy shape of her beneath me as she revealed to me how often she’d secretly imagined this, how long she’d wanted me. Sometimes I don’t recognise those people at all. It’s like I’ve stolen from someone else’s memories.
“Yeah, and then sometimes I can’t think of anything worse.”
“And you think I’m gagging for you at this moment? That I lose my fucking mind when I see you standing around in a bra? When you act this way?”
“This way? What is this way?”
“Fucking annoying. Annoying and irrational.”
She puffs her chest out like a boxer, like she’s rounding on me, and if I wasn’t so furious with her I might laugh, the sheer confidence of my girlfriend, squaring up to a man a full foot taller than her. Sometimes, on smoother days, her moxy is what I love most about her.
“Oh really? That’s what I am?” She says.
“Uh huh. Yeah. You’re actually the most annoying, irrational person I’ve-” A notebook comes spinning right at me, whipped right from her desk and I duck quickly, head to knees as it wallops against the wall behind me, sending a burst of loose papers flying over the carpet.
“Jesus!” I cry, “What are you doing?”
“That’s how much you piss me off sometimes!”
I hold my hands up in surrender before she can reach for something else, crashing back into myself as my anger dissipates, overtaken once again by the rational part of my brain, “Look, let’s stop this, okay? I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to hurt you, I’m sorry.”
“We are in a relationship,” she explains, as if spelling it out to an infant, “that’s what happens. We hurt each other. It’s impossible not to.”
“Can’t we avoid doing it on purpose?”
“I’ll stop it when you stop being such an arsehole.”
“God, Michelle,” I grit out, “why do you make everything so hard?”
“Hard?” She repeats witheringly, “Being with me? Well imagine what it’s like being with you. The most self-involved, shallow, selfish person I have ever met.”
“Selfish?” I echo as my spine stiffens, “Selfish?”
���Uh huh! Yeah!”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I feel like I have had a glass of ice water tossed at me, and though I have stopped shouting, Michelle keeps it up.
“I know well enough! It’s all about you all the time, you go on and on about how hard your life is, how sad you are. Meanwhile your dad bought you a fucking car for your birthday and you weren’t even grateful for it. Look at you! Strutting around with your little Ralph Lauren T-shirts and your ten thousand euro teeth! Who do you think you are?”
For some reason, her dragging my composite bonding into this feels like the biggest betrayal of all. A low blow. My teeth were weirdly short for my mouth until dad fixed them. It felt like the easiest, most obvious solution for a cosmetic issue without doing drastic work, yet revealing it to Michelle late one night as we murmured our secrets to one another in the dark felt so incredibly intimate that I’m momentarily lost for words at her treachery.
“My teeth have literally nothing to do with any of this.”
“They prove that you’re spoiled.”
“It’s so obvious that you’re jealous of me.” I say. I’m not usually the kind of person to choose their words solely for the damage they can inflict, but something horrible within me feels a twinge of satisfaction when I see the stricken look on her face.
“Jealous?” She splutters, faltering, “What the hell is there to be jealous of?”
I just look at her, because it’s all I need to do. I know, and she knows, and I feel disgustingly satisfied and contemptuous in my knowledge of it. I already know how she can’t bear to hear about my achievements, to see me hanging out with other friends. It is agony for her to hear about my grades or to look at my artwork, knowing I’ve worked harder than she has. She won’t come to parties with me anymore, because people laugh at all my jokes, and them crowding around to talk to me is hard on her self-esteem. Even cats like me better. I sense it in her every molecule, the atoms around her vibrate with envy.
Fresh rage shimmers in her eyes as she stares at me, fists clenched as though she’s wrestling the urge to wrap her hands around my windpipe and squeeze. “You can get out if you’re going to be like this,” she seethes.
“Oh, I’d love to leave.”
“Then do!” she stalks towards the door and yanks it open with such ferocity that I fear it will escape its hinges. “Get out!” Her voice echoes through the whole house, bouncing off the ceiling, reaching a frequency I am surprised doesn't rattle the glass free from the windows, and I have brief concerns about what everyone else in the house must think before remembering they’ve heard it all before. In fact they’ve lived this for years.
So I do, I get up and walk out, turning toward her at the last moment, facing her stinging hot face to say, “you know what? I think it’s a good idea if we talk about taking a-”
“No! Fuck you!” she spits, and slams the door in my face.
Beginning // Prev // Next
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Now i kinda wanted to draw more big shungus. Lol.
I dunno why but shang tsung all giant at the end of his ending in mk11 made me feel things when i played it. So remembering that i felt the need to share my love of giant shang.
Titan/god of souls/time keeper shang tsung x me his loyal servent and champion.
Shang tsung becoming basically a God of mortal kombat or souls makes sense,lore wise and narratively. I feel that's what they should have done. Honestly I'm sick of him not getting his flowers so to speak. But more so in a way that doesn't feel cheap nor take backs. Ya know? And if they were to do this dumb titans thing. They'd make them Huuuuuge normally,then for kombat and game mechanics,make them small and MORTAL! to fight in MORTAL kombat. It's irritating they forget that part of the point of the damn game and lore. That's integral. Yet they conveniently forget. Ugh.
Anyways. Big shungus. Like good lord buddha christ in elder gods that man was huge! (💖I may or may not have a thing for this btw but you heard nothing from me!💖)
He's such a cutie :3 <3 ^-^
Like good lord. Honestly i just love cary hiroyuki tagawa. Especially as shang tsung. But i just feel like it really should have ended with him. And on an open ended note. And the rest of the game being non canon and side games. Fr fr.
But back to shang x me.
If i was part of the ending to aftermath. It would go like this:
Being a loyal servant and champion of a sorcerer/god is not easy. But I'm cute,loyal,and honestly the only person that doesn't grate of shang tsung's nerves.
So he keeps me. He secretly loves my shenanigans but he doesn't always admit it aloud
However it wasn't until after all was said and done,shang was bored with his conquest of traveling time and space to collect souls for his soul well in the time lords/gods keep.
So he traveled to seek a champion,and loyalist to serve him and collect souls for him as well as fight for him in the bounds of mortal kombat. As now lord of mortal kombat he has a right to do so. Perhaps a companion for the eternal life he lives. It is quite lonely for a titan/god/time lord.
(Honestly shang tsung having a champion,a woman warrior none the less,would be actually a breath of fresh air. Or just another champion,ffs man also make him a mentor figure. And give him a wife. Better if all three. But ya know.)
So yeah me n big shang tsung. 💖 hope you enjoy.
(Used a base)
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I’m in love with bloodthirsty sapphics (preferably w/ traumatic backstories) who WIN! Can you share some recs, pretty please? Any media is fine; can be subtextual/based on vibes. I consider not dying/ending worse off as winning, yeah.... Examples: Homura Akemi (rebellion), Hideko (handmaiden), Lady Eboshi, Doona (sadistic beauty), Kirika & Mireille, Hild (vinland saga).
Black & White - these two women are so weird. Like this is good and I like it but their relationship is violent sex. I am not saying this is sexual violence, I'm saying they annoy each other until someone starts throwing fists. Then they hatefuck. This happens frequently. I recommend this. Official release in October.
Her Tale of Shim Cheong - Unfortunately no longer available on tappytoons. I know you said you want them winning, and they do but their wins are hard won, fought for inch by inch. This is an incredible story about systematic sexism. Systematic oppression is hard to write. Internalized bigotry is hard to write without sounding childish. Characters who are complicit and supportive of their own oppression are hard to write. Tale of Shim Cheong does it all, easy.
These girls are barely treading water in a society that thoroughly despises them and eventually it's time to say fuck society and fuck anyone who tries to come for my girl.
The Villainess and the Woman Who Would Do Anything For Love - Full disclosure, I liked this so much I translated several chapters, though I burned out after a weirdly aggressive fan tried to manage me like an employee. It looks like someone completed it though, so check it out!! Inescapable death loops and empty sacrifice! It's short and good.
The Antagonist's Pet - I waffled on recommending this one because this is either editorial meddling or flat out queerbaiting. The way Sasha (MC) interacts with other girls is gay. She's mocked by men for her overly intimate behavior with women. Her role is insinuated as that of a prostitute for aristocratic women. She is crawling into laps and snuggling up with *women.* Hell, the official translation made its header pic MC and Rebecca in an endgame couple post. Seriously, I was waiting for Sasha to say she worked at a lesbian hostess bar before she died.
The first time I read this, I was mad as hell about the love triangle between Arth and Rebecca because of course Arth will win, he's a man. But on second read? Poly. It's so obviously a mutually supportive Sasha-centered poly relationship. Of course that doesn't happen in the end but there was enough sweet scenes between the three of them that I can ignore the forced unrequited end.
I spent too much time convincing you this is gay instead of on the other thing, yes Rebecca is a bloodythirsty sapphic, and for once we get a quasi realistic look at a villainess overcoming fate. Too many of these end up over girlpowering characters, so it's satisfying when they're forced to acknowledge unsurmountable walls. That's half of why she's out for blood, imagine realizing you have natural talent in a sport that intrigues you, something you could have easily been a top contender in, better than the men even...had you not been coerced into wasting your youth on serving an ungrateful little loser of a king.
Also Lilith isn't gay but I think you will like her a lot.
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