#That I wouldn't be as emotional as I was during Clouds Leave No Trace because they really don't do enough to give reasons to care

[artheresy]

I have not forgotten the draft regarding "How I would write Clouds Leave No Trace", it still lingers its still there

Im still thinking about how my least favorite parts are Yanqing's characterization, The way the world around Jingliu treats her like she's normal when clearly she's not, The way there's such an effort into putting Yingxing and Dan Feng on the same level of guilt for every single thing that it makes Blade's desire for revenge feel nonsensical and out of no where when he has good reason for it, The way that they don't do more to play up the HCQ's dynamic especially in the normal areas thus making caring about their tragedy a struggle if you haven't done all the "prerequisite reading" (even tho the quest should make the players care more and want to read instead of requiring the opposite), The way that they literally mention Bailu and Blade crossed paths but never show us that scene DESPITE all of the importance placed upon Baiheng and Yingxing's friendship, Did I mention My Massive Problems with my boy Yanqing's characterization in this quest versus what we see of how he's affected both before and after it?

Oh and of course, to mention Jing Yuan not really feeling like he has as much significance being in this quest despite being apart of the HCQ and Jingliu's disciple because yet again, they especially don't do enough to develop on screen (but also not enough in the readable text too) his connections to the rest of the HCQ (which in general if you ask me, makes it a lot harder to be that sad at the moments they clearly want us to feel sad for him over the HCQ)

I could go on and on about the problems of Hyv not fully giving the audience a reason to care for the HCQ's tragedy by the way they are barely shown on screen, shoving it all in readables and character stories and relic lore. Even their legends get barely any screen time to build up to when we hear about the fall out.

Also again, not kidding about Jingliu and the world's perception around her. She is described solely in the beginning as bringing a chill to the room, but she's clearly very intimidating, if you ask me she seems very clearly unstable as well and yet when they waltz around in a populated area with no attention getting drawn to them or suspicion or anything. I also call Massive Bullshit on Bailu being like "Wow but she seems so normal and kind, there's nothing about her at all that could make me think she's marastruck 😲!!" When if you ask me, that whole scene could have been used in a much more meaningful way to make a connection between Bailu and her resemblance to Baiheng Specifically in a way I will further elaborate on in my full post about it BUT YEAH Jingliu deserved so much better with this quest, so so much better

And even just small details get me like Jingliu leaving first from Scalegorge Waterscale, then Jing Yuan, Yanqing and Ren leaving? Like if you ask me, let Jingliu leave with Jing Yuan and Yanqing like they're escorting her (idc about any "She was already turning herself in!" There are a number of reasons to be cautious, not solely of her, and keep her in their view) and then talk to and have Ren leave last.

I am still thinking about it, that post still haunts me daily, I have grown to like the quest but my problems with it are so strong and so clear that it's like AHA I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

#I have so many opinions on this quest #And a clear vision in my mind #I still don't know why it exists in its own little bubble #Why is Yanqing acting so odd in this quest but then goes right back to his normal consistent point of character regarding his failures afte #Also even with the argument of it being Jinglius biased words #Having NO mention of Dan Feng while talking about Yingxing's fate at all is wild and weird #Not even a “His stupidity and loyalty to you got him turned into a monster” kind of thing #Where it doesn't even have to be explicitly all the fault on Dan Feng but treating it like he wasn't at all involved in that transformation #It's crazy to me #But yeah uh #I bet if I wasn't obsessed with Blade and the HCQ #To the point of going through the readables and little quests with any mentions of them and their character stories #That I wouldn't be as emotional as I was during Clouds Leave No Trace because they really don't do enough to give reasons to care #The reason I cried for Blade when I played it is bc I read VotU knew what Baiheng meant to him & the ChrStr to know what they meant to him #The game should do more to tell us those kinds of things upfront if they want us to be more likely to have the reaction they seek #ALSO #NOT ENOUGH FLASHBACKS #SERIOUSLY ADD SOME MORE !!! #Even just snippets and add little lines and moments or views of the past overlaid on the prescent? #Hsr #Honkai star rail #Jingliu #Baiheng #Dan heng #Dan feng #Yanqing #Jing yuan #Yingxing #Hsr blade #high cloud quintet

[the-original-skipps]

Fluffy Alphabet A-Z

Sano Manjiro aka Mikey

Note: Thank you so much for 100+ followers. I wouldn't have been able to get his far without your support. I'm super overjoyed and glad that you guys take the time to read my writing. I love you all very much as promised I hope you enjoy the fluffy alphabet! 💗

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

> Mikey likes to go for rides on his CB205T and he likes to bring you along. He just loves the feeling of the wind passing and your presence behind him. Maybe sharing some snacks while you both watch the sunset or the starry night sky, talking about random things. He just generally likes being around you even if you're both just sitting in silence.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

> He admires your determination and strong will. Since Mikey is mentally weak, he admires those traits in other people. No matter what you'd always be there to scold him or comfort him. It reminds him of his older brother.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

> Mikey instantly knows if you're feeling down, he just senses it. He'll bring you somewhere where they could both be alone maybe a park or he'll drive somewhere and sit you down. Mikey won't force you to tell him what's wrong but if you do he'll be listening intently. He's not the best at comforting people but makes sure to let you know that he's here for you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

> Now this is a hard topic to answer. Mikey has pictured a future with his s/o, living in peace after all the rush during his teenage years. However, he doesn't see it happening because he knows it's best if he keeps his s/o away from him in the future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

> I'd say he's both but mostly on the passive side. He lets you take the lead since he doesn't know much about being in a relationship. He'll be given advice and teased by his close friends but he'll keep their words in mind.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

> Mikey is pretty stubborn and doesn't like losing. If it's a petty harmless arguement, if he's wrong then he'll muttering an apology to you and completely forget about it. It's difficult to get into a serious argument with him unless it's something concerning him or Toman. Say the things he needs to hear even if himself doesn't agree with you. Then he'll leave to give himself space and think about things. Be patient with him because eventually he'll come around.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

> Mikey is very grateful for you being by his side even though he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He appreciates every gesture you do for him from the big things and to the little things such as making him lunch or fixing his hair or just being by his side when he feels he's losing himself.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

> Mikey doesn't hide things, if you ask him something he will directly answer you. He has no trouble talking about a past event since it already happened. Even though he doesn't want you getting involved with Toman, he still tells you about how they're doing or what they're up to. The only things he wouldn't share are his true feelings and his dark impulsivities since he doesn't want to scare you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

> Just by being by Mikey's side you are a positive influence on him. It will take a long time but little by little he tries to open up about his true feelings and tries to rely on you more. Everytime you sense he's distancing himself, you would have to drag him back and knock some sense into him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

> Mikey is definitely the type to get jealous easily and his childish tendencies tend to come out. If he sees you getting too friendly with someone he'll keep staring until he's had enough and say "(Y/N) is mine, hmph!" With a cute pout on his face. Be sure to coddle him afterwards because he might give you the silent treatment.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

> Mikey has no experience whatsoever. He has no idea how kisses work. It'll be super rare to get a kiss from Mikey since he's not used to being affectionate. If you're lucky he'll peck you on your cheek or kiss your hands occasionally. Your first kiss with him wasn't planned. Both of you were alone and you were just admiring him as he talked and pressed a light kiss on his lips. He was instantly shocked by what you did as he traces over his lips with his fingers but inside he's feeling all warm. He never knew kisses from you would have this kind of affect on him.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

> It took long time for Mikey to realize that what he felt towards you was more than just friendship. He confessed this to Draken and he replied "huh, obviously you like them you idiot. Hurry up and go tell them." In which Mikey replies by telling Draken to do the same for Emma. It happened when he came to pick you up from school one day on his motorcycle and brought you to the riverside. "I finally understand what I feel, (Y/N). I like you... You don't have to give me an answer right away, I'll wait however long it takes..."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

> Another hard topic to answer. When Mikey fell for you he fell hard. As much as he wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with you, it won't happen. That is until he goes through "certain changes" and let's say he did. You'll be riding with him on his motorcycle on Christmas until he stops at a certain place. He'll start talking about his past and the times you've spent together. Then talking about how much he appreciates you and thanks you then pops the question. The wedding will be small and privately held with only people close to him and you are invited.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

> It is known that Mikey gives nicknames to those who are close to him. It depends on what your first name is. He'll most likely you use the first syllable of your name plus -chin, -cchi or -chy. Only when he's serious will he use your real name.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

> Honestly, it can be really hard to tell unless you really observe Mikey. You would notice he stares at you longer, or everytime your name pops up in a conversation he's interested. Draken is definitely the first the notice this change in Mikey and teases him for it, while Mikey denys it. The others will slowly start to notice this too. Especially, when he bought an extra taiyaki and gave it to you. Takemichy's jaw dropped at the scene.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

> Mikey won't be announcing to everyone that he has an s/o. However, if someone asks he'll answer honestly. I wouldn't use the word "brag" but he will say nice about you to others. For Mikey, intimate gestures such as kissing are only between the two of you. If someone catches the both of you, Mikey wouldn't be pleased.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

> You wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to flirt with you or trying to hurt you not when Mikey's around. Mikey cares deeply about you and would give his life to protect you. You wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to flirt with Mikey either since you already have his heart, he'll simple brush them off. He's loyal.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

> As I have mentioned earlier, Mikey has no experience with relationships. You would have to teach him things. Still there will be moments that might seem simple to others but to you, you know it's a way Mikey shows his love for you. For example, draping his jacket over your shoulders or buying an extra snack so you could have some too. If he's not busy with Toman matters, he would want to spend his time with you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

> Mikey would genuinely support your dreams and passions, telling you to never give up on them. He believes in you with his whole heart, and he knows you would be able to make your goals come true.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

> He would like to try things he never experienced before with you, like taking pictures at the photo booth or going shopping for matching keychains. That being said, what Mikey likes the most is the constant reassurance that you're here for him. Routines like going riding on his motorcycle or just talking with you, it what he like most. He's scared that one day you'd leave him so these mundane routines assures him.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

> You would think Mikey is the forgetful type but he actually pays attention to things. He'll notice you eyeing a certain item in a store or if you're lying to him. He genuinely cares about you and would like to know everything about you, even the shameful parts. Mikey has a hard time with emotions, he may not fully understand your troubles but he'll assure you that he'll be there for you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

> For Mikey to actually want to establish a relationship with someone. It means he sees you as an important person in his life. However, certain things would have to come before you such as his family and Toman. It is something you would have to understand when dating Mikey.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

> Whenever he looks like he's spacing off during Toman meetings while he is paying attention to what's happening his mind can't help but wander towards you. About what you're currently doing or if you're at home safely. Before he starts the engine of his bike, or has nothing to do he fiddles with the keychain on his keys. It's the matching keychain you both have.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

> Mikey is not known to be the most showy when it comes to showing his affections. It's the little things he does for only you, that shows how much he cares about you. Mikey secretly likes the affection you give him even if he denies it. It surprises him everytime you hug him or kiss him but he never stops you or tells you to stop. Just don't do it in front of Toman. Even if he doesn't want to, cuddle him as the big spoon and it'll make him really happy. Since he's so used to keeping a strong facade, cuddling with you gives him the impression that with you maybe he doesn't have to do that.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

> Mikey will still act as the strong charismatic leader of Toman, where nothing fazes him. He won't outwardly show that he misses you but you can tell by the way he fiddles with his matching keychain or stares off into the distance that he misses you. He might even unconsciously blurt a quiet "I miss (Y/N)...."

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

> Mikey is willing to give his life away to protect you. Just you being with him is dangerous enough who knows who might be out to get him and easiest way they can do that is by getting you. If your safely is at risk even he likes you he would have to break up with you, keep you away from the danger. Because he utmostly cares about your well being and if anything happens to you, it will destroy him.

#sano manjiro #mikey tokyo revengers #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo manji gang #tokyo manji revengers #skipps writes

[shittykawagirl97]

Phoenix (6/6)

Words: 3582

Pairing: Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Chin go Kelly/Malia Waincroft, Kono Kalakaua/Adam Noshimuri

Summary: Malia's Funeral. Chin and Alyssa philosophically drink. Danny and Steve bickering.

⚠ Set during and after 3.02 ⚠

Funerals, whiskey, and tears.

Alyssa hated death.

She loathed it with all her heart, not because of death per se or the gigantic hole someone left in your life without knowing it, she hated death because of the consequences that it had on the living.

The loneliness, the sorrow, the tears, the cold, the heartache, the mental and emotional breakdown; Alyssa abhorred seeing the people she cared for in that kind of pain because she felt and saw it too many times. Any professional would have said it was kinda unhealthy, at that point.

Death was Alyssa's solo, steady, companion in her life and she despised it.

At the first funeral she attended, she was six and no one had to explain to her what had happened or what was happening. She knew that her Nonno Alberto wasn't sleeping in the casket and she felt like she would have never been able to talk to him ever again, but she was okay with that in a strange way.

She was sad, obviously, but after her mother and sister talked to her, she accepted that it was a fact that no one could change.

What had broken her into a pathetic whine was the devastation that she could see on her parents and sister's faces; she didn't want them to feel that way, she wanted them to smile, to laugh, to enjoy the food it was passed around, but she was six and she couldn't do anything to help.

That broke her spirit and her little heart.

In the mare eight years after, Alyssa attended other four family funerals. The last one, when she was fourteen, was her mother's.

For the first time, she didn't just saw the agony in her grannies' faces or her dad's or her sister's; Alyssa felt it, felt the voidness in her chest, the crack in her soul, the ultimate clusterfuck of emotion that her brain was, one moment she was crying for her loss and the next she was hysterically laughing.

Everyone was telling her to be strong. To be courageous. To be there for her dad, but she just wanted to disappear, to stop feeling, to lose herself into the void.

Everything was too much and she didn't know how to copy. The sun was too bright, the sorrow of the people gathered too fake, the emotions too troublesome and Alyssa just turned it all off.

It took hours, a panic attack at the thought of never being able to feel again, and a hurtful headshot with her cousin's forehead to evade the nothingness and being able to feel again. Years later she would have learned that she had her first emotional overload that day.

But death wasn't done with her.

Her mother's cousin, her mother's aunt, her two grannies, her father's aunt, all died before her twenty-second birthday.

Death wasn't a stranger to Alyssa but she now could handle the aftermath.

At least, that was what she thought before Danny's call.

It had been a long work night. She had just finished examining a young boy that was brought into ER at an hour where you can't tell if it is too late or too soon when her phone ringed. Danny's voice cracked when he told her about Malia's death.

Alyssa was so out of it that she breakdown in the middle of ER. The nurses had to take her phone and tell Danny to come, take her home. Her blond friends didn't leave her alone that night: he brought her to his home and tackle her on the couch, under soft sheets. Told her to wake him if there was anything she needed.

Alyssa the world became blurred after that.

Danny was always present. Showing up on her doorstep every time he could, bringing her something to eat or drink; they passed the hours sitting on her couch silently drinking their sorrow away. She knew Steve was away for a few days – this time the idiot told them – and when one afternoon Danny showed up with his brunette partner, she just buried herself in the hug that Steve was offering.

It was only a couple of hours later and a call away that Alyssa learned that Doris McGarrett was alive and being watched by Catherine, Steve's ex. That afternoon she learned that Danny had to thought for Grace once again, too.

It took Chin a couple of weeks to organize Malia's surfer funeral ceremony and he asked for her help. He knew how strongly tied Alyssa and Malia had become during the past year and it would be offensive to not include her in it.

They met at a twenty-four hours diner and set together almost all nights; they needed someone to talk to, to mourn and cry with. Someone that could understand the hole Malia left behind at a hundred per cent.

Sometimes Steve showed up, no words, just a cup of coffee and his presence - the worst nights his strong arm could have been found over Alyssa's shoulders. Other times Danny followed him and there were a lot of words included, but they were soft and warm. She found herself smiling softly at the couple more and more times alongside Chin.

And then the day came.

The sky was impeccably blue, no trace of clouds, and the sun could break a stone. Alyssa, wearing her most elegant black suit, was standing on the beach barefoot; in the water, a few meters away, Chin was releasing Malia's ashes. Her eyes were burning because of the tears but she stood rigid, head high, paying her silent respect to one of the best women she ever met in her life.

At her right, Danny was squeezing her forearm to remind her that she was not alone in that. Alyssa breathed shakingly and throw a rapid glance in his direction.

Danny's expression was contracted and his jaw was rigid, tightly closed; his eyes were dark and shiny, a little tear had escaped his left eye but he wouldn't wipe it away: one hand closed around her arm and the other was tightly buried into Steve's suit.

Steve, on the other side of the blonde, had an arm around his boyfriend's waist and was whispering things, trying to console the other man. For all the things that had happened in the last few days, Alyssa was really happy that at least these two were finally together.

Kono was at her left and had taken residence against Alyssa's shoulder, hold protectively by her arm; the woman hadn't yet won against the demons that were telling her that Malia's death was her fault and for that, she hadn't been able to be at his cousin's side in the water. Alyssa had promised Chin to keep an eye on her.

Behind them, a little distant, there were Adam and Cathrine.

Alyssa had yet to meet Kono's man but she knew was told that between him and Chin there wasn't a good relationship; that alone explained why, even though Adam wanted to be there for Kono, he was standing respectfully away. Everyone was pretending he wasn't there – no one wanted to witness a fistfight at a funeral – but now and then Kono would look back and waved a hand to tell him she was alright. Alyssa looked at him only a handful of times, their meeting every time and she nodded, just once, to tell him that his girlfriend was alright.

Cathrine was an entirely different story: she wanted to help Steve but stood back a little from them because she didn't know Malia personally and didn't want to intrude.

In the water, the surfers started shouting and splashing the water.

Malia was gone.

The wake had been good. A lot of people passed by for condolences and even more arrived armed with alcohol.

Alyssa, Kono, Danny, and Steve helped Chin in every way they can – from taking the food from a newly arrived woman to greetings people when Chin hid for a moment – but when their common friend would bench them because "I'm suffering not an invalid", Danny had an entire argument against that, they would find themselves in a corner of the room mourning and sharing stories about Malia.

Alyssa brought the glass to her lips and sipped the brown beverage. She wasn't a whiskey woman – rum, rum was her go-to for the sourest nights – but it was the strongest alcoholic drink that had been left around.

Not even two hours in and Five-0, minus Chin, was called away for a case. Alyssa found herself alone, with not a lot of booze left around: the Kelly-Kalakaua clan turned out to be composed of pro-drinker.

Snatching away a glass, and the last but already opened bottle of whiskey, she went outside and sat on the porch's steps. It was only two weeks and she already missed Malia as she would have missed a limb.

There was a huge void in her life, in her work, in her daily activity by now. It was said that you understood what you had after you had lost it; Alyssa always thought she had understood what she had in Malia – a coworker, a friend, a sister – and yet she felt like she had just lost a piece of who she was.

She felt desperation, rage, sadness, and numbness; she felt it all at once or nothing at all.

God! She felt precisely the same as at her mother's funeral. This time, though, she had booze to drown herself in.

Her phone vibrated again but she ignored Steve's text: the brunette wanted an update on her and Chin, every five minutes. Yeah, she was starting to understand why Danny was always in yelling mode.

She sipped again at the whiskey – no but seriously, why no one had brought rum? – and looked nowhere and everywhere.

«Are you okay?» Chin's voice asked her. Alyssa looked over and watched the man stumbled towards her and slumped (fell) next to her (almost on her). When had he become so drunk?

«Shouldn't be me to ask you that?» She retorted, settling him the best she could.

«Meh. I am good for now: the Okolehao helped». He raised his still full glass. «But you are not drunk, not speaking, and starting at nothing».

Alyssa smirked and sipped from her glass.

«What are you? A policeman?»

Chin's elbow found a new home in her left side. Hard. Ouch.

«I'm not so gone that I can't see you burying your emotion under your scary amount of sarcasm», he warned. «I had worked with Steve and Danny for over two years now, I am trained. And Malia complained about it. A lot. And loud enough».

Alyssa snorted. Gosh, that woman!

They settled in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

Chin knew that Alyssa was dangerously similar to Steve when it came to coping mechanisms: where his boss coped from trauma with an insane dose of recklessness, the woman used a foolish amount of sarcasm.

Just like Danny... A lot like Danny.

Chin looked at the dark-haired woman and couldn't stop himself from thinking that she was what Steve and Danny's child would have been like. Grace had saved herself from becoming that thank to Rachel.

«I thought I become good at managing it», Alyssa's voice brought Chin back to the present.

«Managing what?»

«Death, mourning... The void». She answered with a tight tone before dipping the whiskey, trying to force down the knot that was forming in her throat.

«Death is death, Lyss, there is no way around».

She snorted before drinking again. «Didn't I know that».

Chin cringed at her level of sarcasm. Malia, during a rare night spent on the couch with Netflix and ice cream, had confessed to him that she was preoccupied with her new co-worker's coping mechanism. Steve and Danny hadn't yet become her patients at that point.

The two women weren't even friends but, because Malia was the only one that Alyssa respect enough to not insult, their boss had asked Malia to talk to the younger woman. She had made a nurse cry that day, after blowing up for a stupid reason; Alyssa had probably been at her breaking point because she opened up to Malia the instant she asked her what was wrong. The unhealthy amount of sarcasm used during the explanation – it had been her mother's death anniversary – had left Malia on edge for the rest of the day.

«I'm sorry», Chin mumble apologetically.

Alyssa winced.

«God, Chin. No!» She exclaimed, passing a hand on her face. «Don't ever apologize for something like that. Your sorrow isn't less real than mine cause I had a lot of people taken from me! That is a very, very wrong idea to have!»

«And yet, you're undermining your own only because you attended more funerals than me!» He threw back at her. «Losing a loved one is never easy! Even after fifty damn funerals».

Alyssa shakingly breathed in and filled her now empty glass. She needed a lot more alcohol in her to be able to survive that discussion.

«Death touched me when I was a baby, Chin», she gulped down a good amount of the brown beverage, burning her throat. «I grew up with death breathing down my neck. Wherever I look there was death in a way or another. That scars you for life; the only way out of that ache is accepting.

Accepting that death is real. Death is everywhere, at any given moment, and we can't do shit about it. Life's meaning is death and that's it».

Chin watched her eyes puffing and reddening with unleashed tears, he drunk.

«I understand what you mean but I think you are wrong on two things».

«Enlight me, please», Alyssa's tone was sarcastic but her face was grim: she honestly grew up thinking that she hadn't any more rights to feel the loss of a loved one because she had lost too many.

Chin's heart strung at the revelation. He wanted to kill every idiot that made her feel that way and then protect her a lot more: she was a beautiful person, with a gigantic heart; she didn't deserve all the suffering she had been through.

«First», he choked out, «I think that we can do something about death. Yeah, we can't save anyone and death is the destination of everyone's life... But we can help to make their life a little bit longer and a little bit safer. I become a cop cause of that and you wouldn't be such a good doctor if you didn't think the same. At least, subconsciously».

«Second», his voice lower, careful and full of affection, «I think that death can help us understand life better. Can let us appreciate what we have a lot more, never giving someone for granted. I thought that I had the rest of my life to spend with Malia and I feel that I hadn't told her enough how much I love her».

Alyssa shook her head vigorously.

«Malia knew how much you loved her, Chin. She never questioned your seriousness or your resolve. She comprehended how much you were giving her and she worshipped it.

«Never, ever guilt yourself with her death. Please, please, believe me when I tell you that Malia loved you with every inch of herself, despite knowing that one day you could have died in action or that your work could have followed you home. She knew what she was going up to and she never regretted any of that. That was the kind of love she was willing to give you and the kind of love she knew you were giving her every single second of your life».

Chin sipped from his glass and closed his eyes, trying to contain his tears but losing miserably when one ran down his sharp cheekbone. He didn't even try to wipe it away, too tired.

«I wasn't the only one she loved, Lyss», he remarked. «She thought of you as the little sister she never had. She cared about you as much as you cared for her. Yeah, maybe you didn't know her for long, but you have the same rights as me to be upset. To be angry. To be sad.

«She was your friend and you can be broken because of her death. No matter how many people you lose or how many funerals you attended».

Alyssa felt her eyes stung like bitches and didn't fight the tears or the emotional breakdown. She sobbed loudly, hiding her face with her free hand, letting herself honestly mourning her best friend for the first time since she had been told she had died.

Suddenly, a weight was left from her shoulders, and Chin was there to keep her together. She didn't know what he had done to deserve such good friends but she was thankful for them all.

Chin embraced her for what felt like forever, encouraging her to let go of everything, before the sobs subsided and she stopped crying. They stayed like that – her head on his shoulder and his arm around her shoulders – a little more afterwards, just to know that they were not alone.

The only sound was the neverending buzz of her phone.

«Are you going to respond to Steve's text?» Chin asked after the umpteenth notification.

«Nope, he should learn a little bit of patience». Alyssa responded truthfully. «And I am enjoying my mental picture of Danny bitching at him at every new text».

Chin snorted.

«I think you forget who you are talking about in that bottle of whiskey you stole».

Alyssa scuffed and admitted to herself that she was starting to feel a little tipsy; it was a good feeling. For the first time in days, she felt the void inside her subsided a little bit.

«He has a job to do and he should stay focus on it», she smirked. «We have alcohol to keep us at bay and each other, obviously, because misery loves company».

The dark-haired man laughed at that.

«You would have been right if you were talking about anyone else, but you talking about Steve McGarrett here. He will terrify someone for life just to being able to return here immediately and smother us with worries. If you think that Danny will not partner up with him on this, I will say you drunk too much».

The woman rolled her eyes and was ready to retort that yes, Steve and Danny were practically insane and unstoppable when worried for their ohana but this was different because they knew where they were; when the rumble of an engine tore the quiet air in half and suddenly a silver Camaro was stopping in front of Chin's house with a dangerous screech.

The car went silent a moment after and the first thing the two cuddling friends heard was Danny's scared-pitched ranting. Immediately, they couldn't understand the single words – obstructed by the car door – but then Steve swiftly got out of the vehicle and Danny followed him.

«I was screaming for my life you Neandertal animal!» He was wailing, waving his hands everywhere after closing the car door. «You went up to the red zone of the speedo and never come down! You are officially insane and I should have dragged you to a psychiatrist some time like yesterday!»

«I was preoccupied!» Steve ranted back, now at Danny's side with an I-can't–understand–why-are-you-shouting-at-me face. «She isn't answering her phone! Everything could have happened!».

Danny made a large and circular gesture with his hand and ended up indicating Chin and Alyssa.

«They are drunk, you shmuck! They are at a wake, they are grieving the loss of a very special woman in their life, they are crying, and they are drinking an unhealthy amount of alcohol! Just look at them, they are fine!»

Steve let his gaze follow Danny's hands and he finally noticed that the sources of his concerns, cuddling on the front step of Chin's house. Their glasses were half empty, the whiskey in the bottle was dangerously close to the bottom, and their cheeks were stained with dried tears.

No dangerous whatsoever.

He felt his face flush and shyly waved a hand in their direction.

Alyssa laughed out loud at that because, yeah, Chin was right and she had forgotten who Steve was: a closet mother hen. Hell, if she didn't love him for that.

Chin joined in her laugh and she caught the shitty smut grin that Danny was giving his boyfriend.

Alyssa felt alive and at home. She felt secure like she could be herself even in the worst moment of all with her Ohana around.

She hadn't to hide her sadness and sorrow anymore because now she had insane, lovely people that would help through all of it.

Part (1/2/3/4/5/6)

#fanfiction #hawaii five 0 #danny williams #fanfic #mcdanno #mcdanno fanfiction #steve mcgarrett #english is not my first language #friendship #h50 fandom #h50 fanfiction #h50 fic #h50 mcdanno #adam noshimuri #kono kalakaua #chin ho kelly #family #ohana #ohana means family #funeral #whiskey #emotional breakdown #tears #crying #hugging

[thechangeling]

Night blooming

Ok so remember when I said I was gonna write another wlw one shot about my OC and Thais Pedroso? Well I finally finished it. This is a sequel to Only Love. I reccomend you read that one first. It's on my Ao3. Also there are two Buffy references in here. If you catch them you get a cookie.

She was beautiful. Utterly stunning. Like a shining becon of angelic radiance and power. But what honestly made Thais so alluring was her kindness and selflessness. She was the kind if girl who held her heart out before her for everyone to see. You could see it in her smile, hear it in her laugh, you could see it reflected in her paintings.

Janessa was the kind of girl who had thought she had given up on the goodness of humanity a very long time ago. She had seen how cruel people could be first hand during her human life and even now as a vampire. Only now she had power to protect her and a dangerous appetite that was never full.

In theory maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe in theory a lot of Nessie's ideas were bad ideas. But after that kiss in her room. After Thais had slept in her bed and asked Janessa to sing to her. Nessie couldn't lie to herself anymore.

"So where are we exactly?" Thais asked, stepping of Janessa's motorcycle, eager to be done riding it. Janessa hadn't had a helmet available since she never road with one. Thais was shocked when she told her.

"Don't you need one?" She had asked her.

"Nope I'm dead remember? Plus vampires are pretty much indestructible unless-"

"Unless you get them in the heart," Thais had chimed in. She sounded as if she was reciting something taken directly from a textbook.

She probably was.

It was a little unsettling.

They had pulled up to what looked to be an abandoned building. It was dark and worn down, with crumbling broken edges.

"It's a surprise," Janessa answered playfully. Thais rolled her eyes good naturedly. Janessa laughed.

"Come on angel, dont you trust me?"

Thais deliberated this for awhile then finally nodded. "Ok fine, lead me to my death." She held out her hand for Janessa to take.

If Nessie was alive, her heart would probably be racing. She smiled in spite if herself and took Thais's hand.

Thais instantly tensed up. "By the angel you're cold!" She complained. Janessa rolled her eyes fondly.

"I am once again, reminding you that I'm a vampire," she pointed out. "Come on."

She led Thais towards the entrance of the building. Thais seemed to notice something of to the side and gasped excitedly.

"Look!" She pulled Nessie towards what appeared to be a patch of flowers. "Jasmines! They're night blooming!" Thais let go of Janessa's hand to pick one and handed it to her.

"Just like you."

A shadowhunter had just given Janessa a flower. A pretty girl had just given her a flower. Janessa needed oxygen. She didnt need to breathe but somehow she felt like she was suffocating.

Janessa felt really strange. She had been for weeks whenever she was around Thais. There were all kinds of new emotions that she wasn't really prepared to deal with. Nor did she want to.

Janessa shook it off. She reached forward and took the flower from Thais. Nessie felt her shiver slightly when their fingers touched. Thais was smiling at her, her expression was open and warm the same way it always was. Janessa wished she could be the same way.

She wished she knew how.

Janessa made an effort to stop gaping and smiled. "Thanks angel. It's beautiful." Thais shrugged.

"I know your probably not a flowers type of person-" she started, ducking her gaze shyly. Nessie shook her head adamantly.

"No shut up, I like my flower!" She protested jokingly. "And I actually am a flowers person, it's just that no one's ever given me them before." Thais smiled at her shyly, lifting her hand to push Janessa's hair back behind her ear.

"Me neither," she admitted. Nessie found herself instinctively leaning into her touch.

She was warm. Janessa grinned unselfconsciously for a moment before realizing she was showing her fangs. "Sorry!" Janessa exclaimed. But Thais appeared to be unfazed.

She shook her head smiling. Thais's eyes were shining like bright beautiful obsidian stones. Her fingertips felt soft against Nessie's skin. She gulped.

"I didn't even notice," Thais whispered.

Janessa held her gaze for a moment then remembered why they were there in the first place. She shook herself out of her stupor.

"Come on let's go inside." She took Thais's hand again and guided her towards the building. Thais groaned reluctantly, but still followed.

"I swear this is how horror movies start Nessie," she grumbled. Janessa laughed.

"Well if there's anything big and bad lurking in the shadows angel I promise to protect you," she teased.

"Oh please I'll be the one protecting you. I'm the one with combat training."

"Yeah but I'm the one with the scary teeth," Janessa countered playfully. Thais rolled her eyes and allowed Nessie to lead her into the building.

It was crumbled and run down with weeds growing out in every direction, but when they finally made it down to the center wall, Thais gasped.

The entire wall was covered in street art. More specifically street art like looked like it belonged in Brazil. At least according to pictures Janessa had seen.

"Oh by the angel, it's beautiful!" Thais exclaimed. "It looks just like the stuff in São Paulo!" She traced her fingers across the bumpy cement. "I used to paint like this sometimes."

Janessa raised an eyebrow. "You mean spray paint?" She asked skeptically. "I have a hard time picturing a shadowhunter doing graffiti art for some reason." Thais laughed and it made Janessa want to laugh as well.

"Yes I could see why you would think that," Thais admitted, the smile leaving her face. Shadowhunters usually aren't encouraged to pursue the arts. But I love it." Thais turned away from Thais and continued tracing the outline of one of the drawings. Nessie followed her as she walked.

"When I was a kid, everytime I would be super excited and happy and have a ton of energy, I used to run around and destroy the house by drawing all over the walls. At the time the consequences, or the concept of right and wrong, wouldn't faze me," Thais explained. She sounded a little nervous to be telling Janessa this.

Janessa carefully walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently spinning Thais around to face her. "Why not?" She asked.

Thais looked haunted. "Because I didn't realize what I was doing at the time. I didn't know and I don't know why. Sometimes I have these moments where I just get really depressed and heavy for no reason and I dont leave my bed for days and other times it's like I'm on top of the world and I feel like I'm floating on clouds until I run out into traffic and nearly get run over," she murmered. She was avoiding Janessa's gaze.

Thais shook her head as if she was clearing dust from it. "Anyways the point is, spraying and painting has always helped me feel better. More human. One of the things I hate about shadowhunters is there's so much focus on death and violence and war," she said bitterly. "We're trained that our emotions are distractions. To feel is to be weak, and stuff like art, music or dancing, they're made from feelings. I think that's why shadowhinters are persuaded not to pursue them."

Thais sighed, glancing back over to the wall of street art. Janessa stayed silent, allowing Thais time to think.

Thais turned back to look at Janessa her eyes were shining again as she smiled slightly. "But I mean, who wants to live in a world without feelings?" She asked, stepping closer to Janessa.

Nessie was suddenly hyper aware of Thais's proximity to her. Her lips were curved and full and soft looking. She could remember their first kiss quite vividly, the way Thais tasted, the feeling of her warm body pressed against Janessa's.

The smell of Thais's blood overwhelming her.

Nessie reached out and cradled the sides of her face, rubbing her thumb against the edge of Thais's cheekbone. "You're right," she whispered in response to Thais's earlier statement. "There's nothing without feelings." Janessa lowered her head so that their lips were almost touching, paused for a moment to see if Thais would back out, and when she didn't, Nessie kissed her slowly.

Janessa heard Thais's heart sped up the same way it did the first time they kissed. She smiled slightly and deepened the kiss, pushing her tounge against Thais's as she felt Thais grip her arms tighter, pulling against the buckles on Nessie's leather jacket. She continued to kiss her feverishly pushing Thais's hair back. It was incredibly thick and curly, so Janessa couldn't really run in fingers through it very well.

Nessie ran her arms down Thais's shoulders to her waist and Thais made a squeaking type noise and jumped back.

"Cold Nessie!" She cried out. Janessa laughed.

"Aw I'm sorry angel. You're just gonna have to get used to it," she cooed. Thais playfully rolled her eyes.

She was silent for a moment then, studying Janessa carefully with her dark eyes. "You know it's interesting," she mused. "I used to believe that vampires couldn't feel things like love and compassion." Janessa narrowed her eyes.

This was a strange thing to be admitting on their first date but sure, why not?

"But then I heard you sing," Thais continued. "I heard you sing and it was so beautiful. Not just because you're good, because you are very good. But because you sing with so much passion and emotion," Thais exclaimed. "And that's when I knew that I was wrong, and that I care about you."

Janessa couldn't help but grin. "God you are so cute," she giggled.

Thais shrugged. "I'm not that cute. Also another thing happened that night when I saw you perform that I thought you should know about," she said innocently.

Nessie was curious. "What?"

Thais smirked in a way that was very not angel like. "I'll tell you once we get back to the institute." Janessa bit her lip to avoid letting out a moan.

"Well fuck then snap some pictures of the wall and let's get out of here," Nessie exclaimed, rushing towards the exit. Thais laughed and raced after her.

"Its fine. We can always come back," she pointed out. "Maybe this could be our special place."

Janessa felt another overwhelming rush of feeling overtake her. She tried not to let it show.

'Yeah," she answered, feeling light and fluffy and on top of the world, just like Thais had described before.

Just be careful, a voice inside her said. Make sure you don't go running out into traffic.

Keep your guard up Nessie.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just for frame of reference, this is my idea of Janessa.

@eutony-in-whisper @swordwifes @ti-bae-rius @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @thelandunderthehilll @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @talia-lightwood

#twp #the wicked powers #tsc #Kaitlin's oc #Thais Pedroso #wlw #kaitlin'swriting