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starillusion13 · 1 month

Note

Hi! can I request an ateez 9th member poly au but the scenario is they make her feel left out, being mean and entertains another girl from another grp and she was painted as the villain by that girl! so they gang up on her, she suddenly left the group and now they’re chasing her back!!

Missing Piece

Pairing: Ateez!ot8 x f!reader

Genre: Idol au, Angst, Mature

Warnings: ignorance, tired, mention of drugs( just a rumor), leaving the group, feeling left out, light arguments, anxiety, evil intentions(a pick me not y/n), a mess of emotions nothing more.

W.C: 6.9k

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. After writing this fic, I realized that I don't know how to write 9th member fics😔. I hope this what you wanted anon<3.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Now let’s take a moment to appreciate my dear friend @dreamsoffanfics Thanks for helping me out and being my proofreader. A dear friend indeed <3.

"Congratulations Ateez!"

Whenever this phrase echoed, you always felt proud and satisfied with yourself for coming a long way. It's obvious that your hard work and determination made it possible for you to stand strong and shine on this ground.

But, a wave of emotions was running inside you today because of the feelings that are itching your mind.

The scandals you are in lately.

The staff and other idols who are passing by while making your way towards the private room are constantly congratulating you and the members of your group. They all are having a wide smile across their faces but you just hesitantly smiled towards others. You know very well that everyone is aware of the scandal you are currently dealing with.

You excuse yourself from the washroom and Hongjoong notices you stepping away in another direction. He called out your name and asked where you were off to but you didn't reply or turned back.

All the members were gathered in front of their room to enter but when they saw their leader---the captain was standing in front of the door and looking in a particular direction. They all looked towards your fading figure into the hallway.

"Where is she going now?" San asked the captain but quickly noticed the anger on his face.

Hongjoong slammed open the door and others followed him inside the room, "I don't know. She didn't reply to me when I asked her. She is really becoming stubborn."

"What's her problem? Isn't she acting so childish all the time?" Mingi slumped down on a cushioned chair and closed his eyes when placing himself comfortably.

Jongho shook his head while removing the mic and earpiece from around his neck and placing it on the wide desk in front of the mirror. "What about the updates on her scandal? The way she is sneaking around here and there, I feel like believing those are not just scandals."

"No. I don't think that's possible. I don't see a sign from her taking any drugs." Seonghwa stated and looked at the leader who was leaning against the wall after removing all the unnecessary items from him. When he caught his eyes, the one standing sighed.

"But she didn't even deny it." Hongjoong said and raised a brow.

Yeosang nodded and spoke up, earning others attention to his words,"When the manager asked her to explain the matter she remained silent and was staring down as if she was high on drugs. Even when the company tried to answer the question about her on the internet, she refused to make a statement."

Some of them nodded and others had confusion visible on their faces.

Wooyoung pointed at your bag beside his and asked, "why did she bring this bag again?" He lifted the bag and found it to be the same bag which you're carrying everywhere, "it seems like she has a lot of stuff inside it."

"Open it." Hongjoong orders the younger one but he hesitated to the command. "I said open it. I am asking you for it and she has no say in this."

"But it's a girl's bag."

"Don't act like we don't stay together. Even if I ask her about bringing this bag, she won't reply. And if something inappropriate is there then we would apologize to her later."

The younger nodded but before he could open the bag. The manager entered. Hongjoong signaled to put the bag down.

It was always a bit challenging for you to be in a group where you are the only female member. All the fans accepted you very willingly and gave you lots of love on the day when it was announced you would be the last member of the debut line. Yeah, the competition had always included the five girls with the boys but you didn't expect back then to be in the lineup of the final showdown. As you were very sure of Minnie to be debuting with them. Her talents and looks are always remarkable and you admired her dance moves and vocals so much. And, you're sure others loved her more than you. They have a strong friendship with her even after her debuting in a different group 'Stray Kids'.

But your members never made you feel left out or different for being a girl. At first they were a bit hesitant to have you as the member but gradually you all became close and had so much fun together during the first MV shooting. Your debut was memorable with you all traveling to a different country and experiencing several new things.

Moreover, your members treated you like the baby of the group. They pampered you so much and of course, they won't leave a chance to annoy the shit out of you. You felt closer with Jongho because he was around your age so you were always paired up with him. And that's how the deep friendship started between you both.

Ateez are very close with Stray Kids and for that you all often meet them to dine out and hang out on off schedule days and after encore and promotion stages. You loved Minho's company a lot because you both clicked together perfectly. But there was something you noticed: San doesn't like you spending time with Stray Kids and sometimes, he and the others often drag you away with your members telling them that they need to hurry back to the dorm because something urgent came up. Only for you to get scolded later by Hongjoong that being so friendly with others would lead you to get into a lot of scandals.

What about them?

They often can be seen talking with Minnie after the performances or concerts and even two or three of them hanging out with her. Did you ever say anything? No. Then how come the dating rules only apply to you? You had enough one day and screamed at her and them, telling them that because of her Ateez would soon be under controversy but she quickly apologized to you and cried to them.

That was not the end. Because of her Hongjoong treated you really badly. He and other members used harsh words on you and others supported him on the fact that you had overreacted for no reason. They really started to go out alone without you - you were already used to it. But after the incident, they purposely made you feel left out. That didn't even stop them being friendly with her. They even did the new dance challenge with her and the way she was leaning on Seonghwa's arm made you glare at the video longer until the manager announced the practice time.

All these struggles really made you exhausted day by day and it's even showing in your performances and interaction with others. One afternoon, you were in the middle of the preparation for the comeback when you suddenly got to know about something trending under your name on all social media platforms.

'Is y/n really taking drugs?'

And the comments under the post - some supporting your side saying it's fake but you were shocked to see the amount of people believing the post and making strong comments that your recent appearances do look like you are under its effects. You ignored the news, you ignored everyone. You thought about the trainee days and then after debuting. You had lots of fun with Ateez. There are a lot of good memories and there are a lot more than just memories which couldn't be revealed everywhere. You tried to talk with others but never had the courage so you kept everything to yourself. Whenever you were asked to clarify on this matter, you remained silent.

One day, finally you had a talk session with your manager to discuss the ongoing situation. Many of your fans went against you and you accepted their opinions because you didn't make any strong denial statement on it so it's obvious for people to suspect you. You are being a bad influence on the industry.

"Are you sure about this?" the manager had concern and worry etched across her face but you just nodded and sighed when she kept staring at you.

"I don't want to change my mind. I have come up with this decision after thinking a lot."

She opened a file on her tablet before passing it to you to read, "read this. And, what about them? This is a big decision so please think carefully."

"I know."

"Will you be fine after this? People might blame you more."

"I don't have any other option. Even if I have, this is the only thing that seems right to me right now."

She just nodded in acceptance.

As the manager entered the room, she noticed Wooyoung placing your bag down to the side of the chair. Hongjoong stepped forward to greet her and she sent a quick smile to everyone present in the room, also noticing your absence there.

"You all don't have any more upcoming schedules this week so hurry up, we have to leave for the dorm. You guys look so tired. You all didn't got enough rest the last few days." She announced and stared at Hongjoong who seemed to want to ask her something.

"Do you want to say something?"

He nodded, "Y/n is not here since we came back from the stage. She went towards the stairs and I asked her but she seemed a bit lost. Where is she? Do you know about it?"

She sighed, "she is probably in the restroom, don't worry."

"Before the day of the comeback, she had a talk with you. What did she tell?" Seonghwa asked, who was now wearing a black t-shirt with just a washed face. He wasn't wearing his stage outfit anymore.

"You all will get to know about it tomorrow morning."

"What is it that you can't tell us now?" San asked her curiously.

She shook her head, "it's not like that. I can tell you but she doesn't want me to tell you. Don't get your hopes up. Just know it's nothing good." She handed over the food bag to them so that they could feed themselves inside the van while going back home. She asked the last two members to quickly change into a comfortable outfit and took your outfit to the restroom.

As soon as she handed you the outfit, you thanked her and asked her to wait outside. Changing into the comfortable soft fabrics made you sigh in relief. But you felt tears welling up in your eyes while staring down at the mic, earpiece and the stage outfit in your hand. A lot of emotions coursing through you but your mind was only focusing on the fact - this was your last stage performance.

You wiped your tears and put on a fake smile before exiting the door. the manager took the things from your hands but before you could step forward, she grabbed your wrist and looked at your face, scanning the smudged eyeshadow and liner. You were crying and she caressed your hand.

"Y/n, you are not okay with this. Please, I would suggest that you change your mind."

You shook your head before removing her hand. "Trust me. I will be okay without all of these problems." She watched your retreating figure until you took a sharp turn.

When you reached the door of the private room, it was expected to hear their loud laugh or them having weird singing competitions that could be heard from outside. But now, it's so quiet. Are they that tired? Or did they already leave for the dorm without you? That's not possible, the car was for you nine so it won't leave until nine of you have entered it.

You tightly held the handle before pushing the door open only to find them gathered around the couch but staring at you. You noticed Wooyoung holding a bag at the end of the couch.

A bag, wait, your bag. No!

You hurriedly went over to the couch to find it was your bag and the things were already scattered on it. You tried to pull the bag from his hold until Yeosang grabbed your wrist and turned you around.

"What is this?" he asked you in a demanding tone.

You licked your lips before prying his hand off from your wrist, "nothing. you don't have to know." You snatched the bag, "and why did you even touch my bag without my permission?"

"Since when are we asking each other to touch our things?" Yunho asked and got up from the chair to make his way towards you. You tried to pick up the things and place them inside the bag but Hongjoong blocked your hand and signaled Mingi to take the things away from you. The tall man finally stood in front of you, "and you better explain what all these boxes are for?"

"Nothing..."

Yunho exhaled sharply and grabbed your biceps tightly, "Y/n, what are you hiding from us? what is it that you can't tell us?"

Mingi was glancing between you and the things which he was putting inside the bag. Seonghwa stood beside the man holding you and stared at you sharply, "are these the drugs?"

"Please just shut up!" you screamed at them.

They slightly flinched at your sudden outburst but it was not noticeable by you as your teary eyes blurred your view. You put your palm over your ears and closed your eyes tightly.

"Please shut up. I can't hear any more of this. I know you don't trust me like before but please don't blame me every time. Because of me, this group is already under so much controversy and I'm really sorry for that."

You were going through a lot and having them all cornering you in the room, confined to a little space was too much.

San pushed Yunho so that he could hug your crying form, "It's okay, y/n. No one is blaming you. But why are there so many boxes containing various pills in your bag? You can tell me if those are distractions." he continuously rubbed your back.

You were crying in his hold, clutching his white t-shirt tightly. He didn't care that his fresh t-shirt was getting wet because of your tears when you were crying helplessly. It was breaking their heart to see you like this but what could they do. If you are doing something wrong then they must solve it and for that they need to talk to you but here you are not telling anything and always ignoring them since the incident happened between you and Minnie.

Realizing you were holding San tightly, you quickly removed his arms from around you and glared at him. Everyone observed your sudden change in mood and Hongjoong held your biceps to turn you towards him. At the tight hold you said harshly "let go of me."

"Y/n, enough. What's wrong with you suddenly?" His demanding tone was obvious and your glaring eyes didn't faze his expression. "Don't show me that look."

"Then leave me."

"Joong, leave her hand. We are all tired and we need to go to the dorm. We can ask her about this there." Seonghwa said calmly and placed his palm on the younger's shoulder. the latter sighed and you snatched your hand from him.

Everyone's eyes followed how disheveled you were looking while picking up your things and no one tried to stop you as you were all going to the same place after all. When you pulled the zip of your bag, Wooyoung stepped forward to offer you the food but you rejected it and went outside the room, slamming the door. They flinched at the loud noise but no one noticed your tears and emotions while exiting the private room backstage for the last time.

"I will be good without all of them." You have repeated this line to yourself a lot of times but still you felt the emotions to return back all over again.

Wiping your eyes, you raised your head only to find Minnie standing in front of you with folded hands and innocent eyes, the way she always looks at others. She was still wearing a faerie stage outfit and smiling at you. Ignoring her presence, you tried to turn around but her voice made you halt.

"Are you carrying those drugs in the bag again? So should I post it clearly that you are being spotted taking drugs?" she was smirking when you turned around.

"What are you saying?" You gripped the bag tightly when she glanced at it and chuckled. Stepping forward to you, her smirk grew wider, "it was me who posted that about you. and even if you say this to anyone, no one is going to believe you."

"It was...you." you watched her in disbelief when she lightly laughed and twirled a strand of hair between her delicate thin fingers. She pouted and blinked at you, "you shouted at me in front of them so I had to take my revenge."

"And it's just-"

"It hurts my pride." She made a disgusted face at you and bumped against your shoulder, "well, thank me for not doing something else but....I just ruined your career. Goodbye!"

You saw her walking like on a cat walk towards the corridor and smiling innocently to everyone in her way. She turned a little and smirked at you before taking a turn leaving you there in shock.

"Y/n...you're still here." You heard Jongho's voice and then saw others exiting the room but before they could ask you something, you ran towards the elevator and fortunately it just opened for the staff members queuing in front of it and you got inside with them. They were all glancing at you because of your weird behavior and you being alone with a sad look.

As soon as the ding sound indicated the arrival to the ground floor, you wasted no time and speedily walked towards the car. You got inside and sat in the far back, waiting for others to come.

After they got into the car, they found you sleeping peacefully at the back. "She is sleeping." Yunho told others and placed your head on his shoulder while adjusting in the seat beside you.

"Let her sleep. She is extremely tired." Hongjoong said and scolded Wooyoung who was about to say something loudly.

Seonghwa shook his head, "but she has to eat."

"I will feed her after we reach home. Leave her for a while. Let's not ask her anything more today." Yeosang started and closed his eyes while leaning back.

Yunho kept stroking your head so that you don't wake up and he felt you nuzzling into him and he smiled while looking down at you.

>>>><<<<

You stretched your arms, you heard their voices coming from a distance. You groaned and rubbed your eyes. Your body was aching so bad that you felt like going back to sleep again. But then you remembered your plans for this night.

You got up and stepped outside the room, their voices were coming from the living room and when some of them caught your sleepy figure entering the room they sent a smile towards you.

"Y/n come eat with me. Others have already had their dinner and I will accompany you while the rest keep doing whatever they do at the moment." Yeosang called you from the table and patted the chair beside him. You were hungry but you didn't feel like eating anything because of all the emotions you had inside.

Is my decision okay?

You shook off the feeling and walked towards the table. Some returned back to discuss the topic they were busy with and the youngest of the two joined you both at the table.

"So, as we don't have a schedule this week. How about we go on a trip somewhere?" Wooyoung suggested and Yeosang nodded before urging to start eating.

Your heart ached when you heard the joy in his voice and how they were planning for the week.

"But can we not spend time inside the dorm? I don't feel like going out." Jongho whined.

"What do you say, y/n?" Yeosang asked and you glanced at him to your side but remained silent.

He shared a glance with Wooyoung before the younger one spoke up: "Hey! Do you want to stay inside or go out? We will decide after what you say."

"I......whatever you all will agree on." You mumbled softly.

"But-"

"I said whatever you guys will agree on! It doesn't matter what I say. You all will be off on your own." You stood up from the table and took deep breaths, "have fun without me. Whatever you guys do, enjoy yourself and live a happy life."

"Y/n...if-"

"Yeo I don't want to hear anything. I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

The moment you had to pass the couch where others were sitting but their attention was on you after you shouted at the table, Mingi grabbed your hand, "Are you okay?"

You glanced at the grip and to the others.

"You all are always meant for each other. The eight of you are soulmates and I'm just an extra character who acted as a villain in the group and destroyed your success with my scandal."

Hongjoong stood up, "Don't think like that. We can sort this out together."

"No. People already hate me for this and even if I try to claim myself innocent then all the fame I have already lost is never coming back. I'll still receive more hate. It wouldn't have happened if you guys really cared for me." You whispered the last line.

San scratched his neck and spoke up, "But you have us. Even if they hate you, we will show them that you are the best."

"But you don't have me. I can't do anything in return so it's better for me to move away from the scene so that you don't have a problem on your way to success. There's still a long way to go and I can't stop you all from that."

Seonghwa shook his head, "You are not stopping us. You keep us motivated, Y/n. You'll always be with us like the final missing piece of the puzzle."

"Sometimes there's an extra piece to distract you and confuse you and I'm that extra piece. You are already complete without me."

"Why are you thinking like this?" Mingi asked you softly.

"Because you all made me feel like this." You sighed and turned back but before stepping forward, you said loudly, "Just remember that even if I'm not with you all in this journey you all will move forward and achieve everything. You deserve a lot and on top of that, be happy. Don't let yourself fall apart because of a missing piece."

Your quick steps led you to your room and you fell on your bed. Cries getting muffled by the sheet and you pushed your face into it more. When you were saying those words earlier, you stood strong but deep down, your heart was heavy.

Time passed and you didn't realize when you fell asleep. A figure stepped inside your room, he smiled at your sleeping figure, his dimples peeking out even in the dark and his sharp eyes staring at you softly. He adjusted your body to a comfortable position and pulled you closer to him, lulling you to sleep. You mumbled something in your sleep and he smiled and patted your head. Soon, he fell asleep with you in his arms.

Now, this is the secret that nobody knows yet. You're dating all of them. Since the day of the debut you all found comfort in each other's arms. This can't be mentioned in the public media and nothing can be obvious if you are really dating one of them - let alone all of them. They're always so protective and showered you with love, making your heart warm and a wide smile visible on your face.

In many shows and interviews, you've referred to them as your strongest pillars of life and that you would be always thankful to them for being with you.

But lately it turned into a disaster after you all met her again after a year at the show when Minnie introduced herself to them and they became friends quickly. You didn't mind the friendship at first but when they started to blame you on whatever she tells them, they started pointing out her right proving you wrong in every aspect.

She really had to destroy your career---even your relationship with them.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

"You are here?" Yunho yawned while nodding his head and rubbed his eyes while making his way towards the table after greeting the leader. "I thought you're the one sleeping with her."

Yunho shook his head before gulping down the water, "No. San told me that he wanted to sleep with her." Hongjoong nodded and turned his attention back to the food on the table.

The rest of them soon started to gather around in the living room. Wooyoung saw San coming last into the wide space but all alone. He creased his brows and asked him, "Isn't she coming for breakfast?" He put down the plate on the table.

"It'll soon be lunch time." Jongho said and laughed. Yeah, it's true that they woke up so late that they have passed the morning and it's already noon but they're still preparing breakfast.

San, who was still rubbing his eyes, looked at him and then around the room, "She isn't here?"

"No..."

"When I woke up, she was not in the bed."

Hongjoong stood up and took the phone in his hand before watching everyone in confusion,

"Did she tell any of you where she is going today? Does she have something to do?"

He dialed your number but the line was dead.

Mingi skipped to your room to see if you had left any sticky note but nothing was there. Wait. Not even your things were there. Only a few items were there but the photo frames with a few boxes were missing too. He went back into the living room to inform the others about it. They were so lost and confused about the situation when suddenly the doorbell rang.

Jongho quickly opened it to be greeted by their manager whose appearance was more serious than usual. She walked inside and looked at everyone before sighing and sitting on the chair near her, "Have you checked your phones?"

When they shook their heads and told her that they had just woken up. She turned her phone screen around to take a look at it.

'Y/n, the member of Ateez is leaving the group...'

San snatched the phone from her hand and scrolled down the whole post only to find out the news was announced by their own company and there was also an apology letter from your side posted. So many things happened just in the morning.

"What is this? Where is she?" Hongjoong demanded a clarification of this situation from her but she only shook her head before brushing some strands of hair back.

"She has already left the place. These past few days, you were busy and didn't notice her preparing for this day so I was there to help her collect everything. I tried to change her decision, make her understand but she had already lost hope in this. She was so disturbed with the whole scandal and all."

"Can't we contact her?" Wooyoung asked her while tears were threatening to fall from his eyes.

"No. Your company has banned you from having any contact with a former member. I don't think it's good for your image."

"I don't care about my image. I want her back. How can she leave the group? And she didn't tell us anything about this the whole time..."

Seonghwa looked at the leader and sighed, "That's why she was saying things like that last night."

And now, they realized how they have ignored you all these past months just to believe that girl whom they had befriended and trusted so much that they doubted you on taking drugs and being jealous of others too much.

But their career can't be stopped here. They need to move forward on this journey - even if that means with a missing piece in their group.

>>>><<<<

[2 years later]

"8 makes 1 team...Hello we are Ateez."

The whole audience in the arena cheered. Ateez with wide smiles and sparkling eyes were watching their fans from overseas greeting them by shouting out their names. They felt so loved at that moment that they forgot the pain inside their heart, not getting to be loved by you anymore.

They love their fans a lot but your love was the precious one and when Yeosang realized that you were not there beside him in the choreography, tears fell from his eyes. It's already been 2 years but still everytime he cries during this step where you are no longer smiling while spinning with him in the center.

The concert went for two hours and they quickly changed into some casual wear afterwards and decided on takeout for the day.

The next day, at night they planned to stroll around the city and take in the view of the new place overseas and enjoy the place. They were not given any schedules for the vlog so they were free to roam around.

"I have seen this place just across the street that has a good variety of foods. Let's try it out." Yunho stated his search for this place and others agreed quickly.

All of them entered the big glass door of the restaurant and eyes roaming around in appreciation of the new place. The things decorating the tables, shelves and each corner with the soft melody of the overflowing music with the right amount of warmth and light were a perfect setting. Many customers turned towards them, a table with four girls recognized them but the rest just watched them curiously as they were standing awkwardly until a waiter offered them a helping hand.

They opted for a table at the very end as it was a bit away from the other tables and a bit hidden by a wooden rack.

They all settled down and the waiter waited for them to order. After a lot of complaints, whines, bickers and scolding, they had decided on the menu to be ordered finally.

For the time being, they were waiting for the food to arrive. They gossiped on a lot of stuff, few scrolling through Instagram and taking aesthetic pictures of the place but they don't forget to see any update from your private account. nothing. Jongho sighed and switched off his phone.

"Here is the food!" A cheerful voice made them look up at the person with two others trailing behind her. The girl didn't look at their faces but the eight boys from around the table were staring at her. she was joking with the girl beside her while placing all the bowls down the table. the other two left her when she turned around, "is there some-"

her voice got lost in her throat when she finally locked eyes with the ones watching her intently.

"y/n. you are here."

oh. they're having tours in this country. you're so busy these past few days that you didn't notice that they have announced the tour dates. yeah, even if you have left the group and moved away to a different country, you keep yourself updated with them.

you just can't get over them and this kills you inside.

"uh...um...congratulations on the comeback."

"Why did you leave the group? You don't even contact any of us." Hongjoong asked you from just the opposite direction from where you were standing.

"Isn't it obvious that I left the group not to keep in touch with you all?"

"But why?"

"Now your group is free from scandals and under no controversy. You all are having comebacks and your fans even forgot about me and giving you all the love you guys deserve. So what's the point of me being there." You chuckled in an unamused way.

Wooyoung stood up and suddenly hugged you catching you off guard, "you don't know how much we missed you. Everyday we thought that you'll call one of us or will show up to the front door. But you totally disappeared."

"It hurt us, baby. It hurts to not wake up to your side. It hurts not to see your smiling face and you walking around the dorm. Heck! I watched all the videos of you to hear your voice." San bit his lip to prevent himself from crying.

It hurts me too...

You just curled your fingers, wanting them to stop or you might break down in front of them. You thought after joining at your friend's restaurant that you won't ever come across your past life but who knew after two years here, you would be facing them again.

Licking your lips, you pushed Wooyoung off from you and eyed him before turning to them, "but you all became used to ignoring me then why suddenly you all are acting like this."

"No it's not like that."

"Really Mingi? Are you sure you're not the person who blamed me that for me all your hard work will be gone."

The chatters around the place increased with the entry of some more customers. Little did you know, your friend noticed the current situation you were in and she told other workers to take your place and not mind anything at the end table.

Jongho glared at Mingi but still he also knew that the news got them all shattered because it was their first accusation after the debut and they knew very well the cause of any controversy regarding a group. They all feared for their dreams to be crashing down.

But they were also worried for you. They all asked you about it but you're not the outspoken type and you remained silent and refused to talk to anyone. You distanced yourself from them when they hinted their anger towards you and it really scared you.

and that girl Minnie really played her wicked games with them at their weakest moment. "I'm sorry. Please forgive us for not being there for you. We-"

"Jongho, there's nothing to forgive or forget. I had some great memories with you all and I loved every moment but for me I don't want someone's dreams to end."

You weakly smiled at them.

"But what about you? How are you?" Seonghwa asked you while he approached you and held your hands in his, he caressed the soft skin and stared down.

"Honestly, I don't even know about myself. I'm totally living a different life. People don't recognize me after dying my hair and not wearing makeup and I don't come out often to serve the customers but unfortunately today I did and...."

"And what about the......drugs?"

"Joong-"

"It's okay Hwa. He is just obeying his rules being a leader." You bit your lip when retreating the hand from the hold, "those boxes in my bag were not drugs. Those were my anxiety pills. I used label-less boxes so that people won't know about my problems but that only led to some bigger problems."

Yunho stepped forward, "you had anxiety?" You nodded.

"What caused you this? I swear y/n tell me what happened to have this happen?" He was furious and you watched his impatient hand brushed his hair back.

"Yunho.....it's you guys. You all did this to me." After voicing out the words, you stared at them blankly.

"Us?" Yeosang asked you but also to himself.

"The ignorance. The blames and accusations adding up to the online comments on my posts were stressing me out and I had a consultation with my family psychiatrist." You sighed at the end of the sentence.

San suddenly asked you, "what about your dreams, y/n? You shared so many things with me with us. You planned a whole future with us. What about that?"

"I really wanted to spend my whole life with you all. To create so many memories together but I think those will just remain as dreams because of the rumors. Even if I want to get back. I won't because it would hamper your future and dream."

"But who spread the rumors on drugs?" Hongjoong sat down and held his head.

"It's-... it's..." you bit your lips and proceeded, "it's nothing. You don't have to worry about it now. I'm out of this whole thing and you are all free from all controversial posts."

You tried to smile but the tears falling from your eyes betrayed you.

"You are not coming back to us?" Yunho held your hand, he held it so dearly as if you were a delicate person. He didn't want to let it go but still somewhere in your eyes he saw the distance between you both.

There was no sign of love from you.

"No."

Jongho came in front of your view, "but please we need you. It's no more the same feelings without you. There's really a missing piece in our life." He gulped the lump of sadness and continued, "and, It's you, y/n."

"No you are a perfect team even without me. Eight makes a perfect team like you." You looked over all of them.

"And nine makes the perfect family." Seonghwa said in a hushed voice.

You shook your head, "then work on your teamwork and make it a family. I hope you will find a better girl for yourselves."

Wooyoung pushed aside Seonghwa and cupped your cheek and Hongjoong just stood behind him, watching you keenly.

"Please, y/n don't do this to me. I got to see you after two years and...and just for you to say leave me again?"

"Woo, people might be watching."

"I don't care."

"But I care. I have to work unlike you who will go back to your country after the tour ends. I have to stay back here and face these customers again and if somehow this scene got to the media then it'll be a new situation to handle. Please, I beg you. I don't want to be in a similar situation again."

You inhaled and continued, "and this time it won't be because of me but because of you. So stop before anything happens again."

" but you can stay with us. We can move out from the dorm and stay somewhere else. Also, you don't have to be with us for the sake of being a group member but as our girlfriend." Hongjoong said the words very precisely but you just laughed at him.

"You have lost the right to call me that way before. Don't say that word again. I hate it. I don't want to stay with any of you."

"But-"

"The food is getting cold. They worked hard in preparing this."

San held your hand when you stepped back, "At Least eat with us. Last time, you didn't even eat properly with us."

"Y/n, I miss you a lot." Yeosang looked at you with a longing feeling but you just ignored it.

I miss you all too...

And I know I shouldn't...

You took deep breaths, "I'm telling this to all of you. And it's my final wish to you so please kindly keep it. Just forget about me. You all have a long way to go to achieve success. Don't get stuck in the past. Pretend I never met you all. I was never a part of your life."

San gripped your wrist tighter.

Hongjoong said in a low voice, "this is impossible for us to do. How can we forget you? How can we forget all the memories of us?"

You stared at the grip and glanced at his face. He had changed a lot in these two years and the maturity in his voice and demeanor was visible.

He stared at you helplessly and waited for your response. You removed the grip and turned around.

"Enjoy the meal!"

How can they just eat now? They all have lost their appetite after this and the way you didn't even turn back to them for the last time left them staring at your direction until you disappeared behind the door beside the desk.

You entered the door and tears slid down your cheek and whispered to yourself, "pretend I was just a missing piece of your dream."

[I just realized that I don't know how to write 9th member aus like what did I write here. It could have been better but still I tried so appreciate me🥹]

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg

[open!]

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heartsforhavik · 4 months

Text

yandere mk1 men x compliant! reader

warnings: kidnapping, mentions of violence and murder, stockholm syndrome, all men are yandere and ooc, implied afab reader in johnny's, implied nsfw in bi-han's, mentions of an anxiety attack in zeffeero's, tomas is a masochist, gender neutral reader, reader doesn't care that they were kidnapped

summary: the mk1 men (johnny cage, bi han, kuai liang, zeffeero, tomas vrbada) are yandere, and they just kidnapped you. but you seem to not care...

a/n: sorry again for my late updates😭 anyways i was reading a yandere fic and i was like 'i would just give up and accept my fate if a yandere kidnapped me.' so here's some hcs based on that lil thought LMAOO

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johnny cage would be ECSTATIC when he notices how compliant you are. thank god he didn't have to force you to accept your new life, that would've been ugly. now, he can live out his fantasy of a perfect life with you! and don't worry about your needs such as food and water, he's got the money to take care of that. besides, now you're with THE johnny cage! other people would sell their soul to be in your spot. you're grateful for your new life, right? you have to now, because johnny is so excited to start a family with you very soon, whether you like it or not.

bi-han wouldn't be surprised that you submitted to him so easily. it was a wise choice to be obedient. if you didn't, bi-han would have to punish you. and we wouldn't want that, would we? obviously, bi-han's always had the power and resources to make sure you never escape in the first place, but since you're just so calm and compliant, he doesn't have to stress about that anymore. but that doesn't mean he's entirely trusting of you yet. he would still keep his guard up for the first few months of your capture, just in case you were deceiving him with your willingness. but overall, bi-han is glad that you are so compliant. he brings you outside every now and then as a reward for your obedience. who knows, maybe if you keep up your good behavior, he'll reward you even more.

kuai liang was not excited to take you in. he knew you'd probably resist him, but it's for the best! please don't kick and scream at him, he's doing this because he loves you. he's keeping you safe, there's a lot of bad people out there that could hurt you and he can protect you from them. as soon as you noticed you were in an unknown place, he braced for an argument of some sorts, until you casually addressed him and asked where you were. kuai liang explained your situation and told you that he was doing it because he loves you so much, and you'll understand someday. surprisingly, you simply nodded and shrugged, accepting your situation and deciding not to defy scorpion himself. he was relieved that you didn't have any qualms with your new life, especially after he put so much effort into mending your new living space to your liking. he worked very hard to provide you with enough of your necessities to make you never want to leave.

zeffeero is confused at how cooperative you are. he had an entire anxiety attack before he committed the act, berating himself for doing such an atrocious thing. he would've hated for you to despise him, even though he would've understood why. fortunately, his anxieties were put to rest as soon as he saw how casually you handled the situation. even though it left him wondering if you were as mentally sane as he thought you were. but that doesn't matter, because now zeffeero doesn't have to hold back on his affections. he took your compliance as a sign that you are okay with his twisted way of loving you. now, your life within those walls is a lot more suffocating than you thought it would be.

tomas vrbada had mixed feelings about the situation. if you woke up in an unknown place, surely you'd be pissed at him. so you would probably cuss him out, or even fight him physically. tomas doesn't want to hurt you, but at the same time, he would relish in your hatred for him. for some reason, tomas would get a strange high out of your assertion and he'd feel very flustered if you were ever aggressive towards him. you could yell at him for the smallest thing, and he'd just stare at you with adoration as if he was in a trance. even though he would love for you to yell and scream at him, he would ultimately prefer for you to be happy with him and your new life. tomas desperately wants to have a normal-ish relationship with you, so it would be best if you were compliant with him. thankfully, you ended up quite cooperative with tomas, and easily adjusted to your new life. it made him so happy that you accepted him, that he spoiled you with everything you could ever want. tomas is at your beck and call, and he will do anything to make you happy. except free you.

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lilacsareinbloomagain · 6 months

Note

Yandere time and hyrule headcannons

I'm not sure if you've seen the hype around sky being in his undershirt and being ✨pretty✨ in the recent update, but could I please request reader fawning over Yan!sky in his undershirt or some general hc's for him?

Thank you both for requesting!

Notes: I wasn't that online on tumblr around that time, so I only saw it now lmao.

Anyway, I did both headcannons and a oneshot, hope you'll like it!

Also, yes, I merged those two requests since headcannons can be piled into the same post.

I'll probably sound redundant in a lot of these, simply because I didn't write this at one go and when I got to it again I may have forgotten that I wrote it before. My memory is not the best, forgive me.

There are more headcannons for Time because he's my favorite, sorry.

I need a master list, seriously.

Edited before sleeping, I'm sleepy and probably messed up one or two paragraphs of this.

The oneshot in question.

TWs: Yanderism, Mentions of food and bad eating habits and a little of my fairy/fae brain rot.

Don't mind grammatical errors, please!

Headcannons for yandere Sky, Time and Hyrule.

Yandere! Lu! Sky x Reader

For starters, Sky is sweet, but he is very manipulative.

Therefore, don't be surprised if you notice you stopped doing many of the things you used to do when you first got through the portal.

Most of the time it's not even bad things!

He might team up with Hyrule and Wild to take care of your main health, like eating habits. If you're a picky eater then expect Sky to slowly transition you into eating a little bit of everything, in no time you'll be eating like Wild does.

Then again, he'll also make sure to get the ingredients to the foods you do eat without struggling, also getting Wild to make a separate meal for you, should you not eat that one specific recipe Wild made for dinner.

You'll probably be getting help from him when it comes to self-care habits as well, like, the max of skin care and hair care you can get at Hyrule. He will make the effort to talk to people who know more about your skin and hair type, those who have it and take care of it well.

But, we can't ignore the genuinely bad things he will try to influence you into doing...

Privacy? Gone.

Not only will he be around you most if not all of the time, but he will also always be paying close attention to you and what you're doing.

So if you believed keeping a journal in your language would help you keep some things to yourself, then think again. The privacy of using your language instead of hyrulean to write in your jornal will soon turn into a mere illusion. Despite being more quiet and seemingly the less imposing of the Links, Sky has already gone, and will keep going through lengths for you, which includes learning the language you use.

Of course he noticed you kept a private journal, and despite you trying to lie about the contents of it, it's only a matter of time until he is skillfully scanning through the pages with his eyes like he's reading his favorite book. Memorizing any and all information he can find about you.

As manipulative as he is, he is also delusional, he doesn't have any idea of what he is doing, he simply doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong on so many levels.

He's not doing anything on purpose, he's just trying to protect you and get you to like him, like a normal guy!! At least, Zelda liked it when he did this with her back then, just how different are you two?

Genuinely, Sky would have a hard time figuring you and your emotions out. You're a human being after all, and he respects that those things are not supposed to be easy to figure out. In fact, he highly respects and appreciates that you're complex.

Not that he'll respect boundaries, nope, no way.

You're a puzzle he's very much looking forward to figuring out. Honestly, the only puzzle he'd ever want to figure out.

So, I'll probably elaborate this later, but the chain as Gods. Sky would be very much a Thor. That means silly blonde lightening man.

Imagine hylians from Sky's era used matching earrings alike engagement rings, like, Sky just randomly inviting you to an overly nice picnic, just to hand you blue earings just like his.

And if you don't have your ears pierced anywhere it'd be even better in his eyes, since he'd just adjust it to be a "normal" ring.

It was actually an engagement ring, but you didn't know that, or any of the other Links, really, since this tradicional custom got lost in time.

Yandere! Lu! Time x Reader

I think pretty much everyone knows Time is a teasing bastard.

Don't get me wrong, he can be pretty mature, but trust me, it's not really common for him to act like that.

Time is used to pretending, he used many different masks to become different races in his journey, that was needed from him at the time, the same way that being the mature one is being needed from him right now.

Just because he is deeply traumatized emotionally and physically from his job as a hero doesn't mean his personality is lost as well.

It didn't change that much since he was a child, not really.

He is addicted to making you flustered, so if you get flustered easily I'm sorry for you.

If making you blush is a challenge then I'm just as sorry for you, because Time isn't quite known for giving up easily.

And he's good at making people embarrassed, too.

The amount of women who were in love with him is everything I need as proof.

But the worst part? He doesn't have bad pick up lines.

Look, Time is a toucher, so yes, his love language is physical touch, that makes sense to me.

That doesn't mean only cuddling, of course, it can mean cuddling and hugging when you're alone, but do expect a few more things.

I was gonna say hand holding in public, especially in crowded places, but you know what? Guiding you by holding the back of your neck is simply easier to him, and a lot more obvious "back off!" to strangers who look at you for far too long.

Also, randomly leaning against you, the two of you may be just walking and suddenly you feel a large mass lightly leaning against your own body, almost making you stumble. you might just be standing in front of the dinner table, reading a recipe book and once again you just feel that familiar presence right behind you, but instead of hugging you from behind he's just there, like he is reading the book along with you.

Remember how you were reading that one recipe book? Well he might give it a try and help you make something in the kitchen just to spend time with you. Like, you're just pouring ingredients in a bowl and he's there "helping" you by wrapping his arm around your waist to give you "emotional support", as he calls it.

He is, in reality, just standing there watching you cook, trying his best to resist the urge to distract you and simply annoy you, because he is still trying to make it seem like he is a mature, grown man, and definitely not one who is eyeing the flour in his reach and thinking about launching a handful of it at you.

You did see his hand slowly reaching for the flour in the corner of your vision. He only stopped once you threatened to scoop out his remaining eye should even a speck of flour hit your face.

Yet, Time is a creative man, flour was only one of his plans.

He's got wandering hands and wandering lips. And he can and will make use of those just to distract you.

And that's how Time became banned from the kitchen when you were the one cooking, only being able to join you for cleaning later.

So yeah, his love language is physical touch, but it is also disturbance.

In that matter, he's not very different from Wind when you two are alone. If you ignore his flirtatious moves, that is. But he's quite different when you two are with the others, especially if you've done, or is doing something to annoy him, then he has to keep up that mature facade of his.

He believes the others won't take him seriously should he reveal his actual personality, so really, when you're around others you'll only get glimpses of it from time to time.

It is mandatory from the Links to be stubborn, but Time takes the cake.

Maybe it is his age, but he will never change his mind, ever. No point in arguing.

So when he is silly, he is silly, but when he is serious he is terrifying, no exaggeration.

The worst part is that older people have a lot of respect in Hyrule, so no matter what he says, his word is law.

Now, don't get me wrong, by now, pet names are just a thing Time always does with you, in a way you barely hear your own name coming from his lips unless he's being really serious about something.

But actual words of affirmation? Not his thing.

He'd much rather be as clingy as glue to you when you're alone.

But, not like Sky's soft, light cuddles. Time Will basically smother you.

Seriously, it may be his sheer muscle mass, but he'll drap himself over you in a way you'll feel yourself surrounded by him.

In fact, the first time he did it you probably almost suffocated.

You'll get used to it eventually, though. Hopefully.

He's pontual and very strict as well, he and Hyrule are probably gonna be bickering in most matters involving you, like, for example, "five more minutes" naps.

Don't even try to trick him, you'll hear stuff like "I was your age once" and shit, the man will act like he's a hundred years old or something.

Then again, he might be, after all, he is older in mind than he is in body.

He was forced to mature quicker and went through a lot of trauma, that, and he also had to go back in time a lot of times.

Now that I think about it, he probably lived for longer than your grandparents. Just saying.

Yandere! Lu! Hyrule x Reader

Don't get him wrong, Hyrule is very much full of love, really. He cares about everyone equally.

Yet, as corny as that is, your name isn't "everyone", you're not anyone, you're you, how could he even think about possibly treating you the same way as he treats everyone else?

You're put on a pedestal, everyone else is treated equally by him, except you, you are treated like you are divine and not mortal like he is.

So you'll feel like a toddler 24/7 around Hyrule, he is not as stubborn as Time, he's just… Persistent.

The other Links will find themselves teasing him for it a lot, even if deep inside they are just the same.

Play nice, walk on the line and you'll have a Hyrule at your beck and call. If you know how to do it right, you will be able to use his babying to your own benefit, because trust me, his persistence can work on the Links much more than yours, after all, they trust him for being another Link.

I feel like he'd also help you keep pets, it may be his fairy nature, but he is just good with animals, especially with forest animals. Be them small or big.

Although he definitely has a soft spot for smaller pets, even more if you're the one asking him to bring along a pet you found.

Surprisingly or not, Hyrule is probably one of the most protective Links if you happen to lean more towards the naive/vulnerable side of the spectrum.

It's a general fairy headcannon of mine, but since fairies take care of forest and the animals there, specially the smaller or more vulnerable types of animals, then it's not new for them to be also quite protective towards humans close to them.

Bonus points if they have those traits.

But then again, you're Hyrule's darling, you may be as strong and independent as a Link yourself, but he'll still see you as in need of his care and attention at all times.

That also may or may not be another reason why Hyrule treats you like a toddler.

So yeah, coddling. Lots of it.

Hyrule is also a fan of small things, trinkets. Natural or shiny... Precious or useless... In his eyes all are treasures.

Treasures you'll find your bags and pockets full of.

He is absolutely a rock, cristal guy.

Imagine, you're just walking to another village, and suddenly Hyrule stops walking for a few moments, just to speed walk towards you again just a bit later, cleaning something he is holding in his hands with the help of his sleeve.

Then he hands you a small, clear rock, grinning.

Better get used to this, it's probably gonna happen at least once every day.

So yeah, love language is gift giving and acts of service.

I feel like he's very awkward with words of affirmation, he didn't spend a lot of time saying or hearing those, after all. Like most of the Links.

#yandere x reader #tw: yandere #yandere linked universe #link x reader #linked universe x reader #yandere link x reader #lu sky #lu sky x reader #lu time #lu time x reader #lu hyrule #lu hyrule x reader #yandere lu sky #yandere lu time #yandere lu hyrule

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the-bad-batch-baroness · 24 days

Text

Health Update

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who reached out or commented on the latest installment of Where's Mommy? to wish me good health. I am so grateful for all of you 💚

However, the health issue I'm currently dealing with isn't due to a virus or bacteria, and there's a possibility it won't get better.

A little history.

Back in 2022, there was a two week period where I felt like my blood sugar was dropping, and I was very symptomatic. There was a moment where I slumped down a wall at work because of it, and they had to dump sugar packets from the break room into my mouth to rouse me. It was a very scary time.

After those two weeks, I went to my Primary Care Physician who ordered blood tests and had me purchase a glucometer to test my blood sugar several times a day. However, during the two weeks she had me do this, I never got a reading below 70, and the same symptoms did not develop as they did prior. My blood work came back clean, and without a reading lower than 70, my PCP dismissed it and told me I was having anxiety attacks, lol. She told me to come back if the symptoms came back, and they never did.

Backing up a couple more years.

Without revealing too much of my medical history, I have a chronic illness called POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). It's a dysautonomia or a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system, the system that controls all of the automatic functions of the body. It was caused by my battle with Lyme Disease in 2010 and is currently incurable. I was diagnosed with POTS in 2018, after being told for 6 years that I had anxiety, lol.

POTS is not a very well-known illness, but it's getting more attention these days. It garners a host of different symptoms, including tachycardia, chronic fatigue, brain fog, orthostatic intolerance, migraines, gut issues, syncope, dehydration, blood pooling, etc. Everyone's POTS presents differently, and most people with a POTS diagnosis live on disability. I made the choice not to.

Fast forward to 2024.

Fast forward again to this past Wednesday.

Well, I finally was able to get a POTS specialist in my state this year. A huge win! When I had my initial consultation, I had mentioned the low blood sugar episodes in 2022 and asked if it could be related to POTS. The doctor told me that they don't see POTS patients having low blood sugar issues, but we're concerned enough to refer me to an endocrinologist. Another big win!

I had my consultation with the endocrinologist, and he ordered more blood tests, some of the same tests as before, and some different (y'all, they took like 20 vials from me). He also gave me a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) to wear for 14 days so they can track my highs and lows to see if they can catch anything.

Well, the next night, my blood sugar dropped below 70, 20 times, and 55, 9 times. Which means I was woken up 9 times throughout the night. I got only about 2 hours of sleep, and still had to go to work the next morning. But, once again, it went back up by itself without any intervention from me.

Y'all, it caught A LOT in just the first day, actually night. My blood sugar dropped below 70, 11 times, and below 55, 4 times while I was sleeping. Now, because anything below 55 is considered critical and could be fatal, there is an alarm that cannot be overridden and will sound. It sounds like a smoke alarm. So, I was awoken 4 times.

The odd thing is that my blood sugar dropped, then went back up on its own. I didn't eat or drink anything. Blood sugar doesn't really do that, so I thought it was odd. This also begs the question: If I'm asymptomatic at 53, then what level was I at in 2022 when I had symptoms? Honestly, I don't want to know.

Here is a nifty graph!

All of the red is considered low blood sugar, below 70, and anything close to that 50 line is considered critical low blood sugar. And again, I did not eat anything during the night.

There are four major anomalies with my low blood sugar occurences:

Most cases of hypoglycemia are seen in diabetics, I am not diabetic

Most cases of hypoglycemia seen in non-diabetics are sporadic, mine are consistent

Hypoglycemia is normally corrected by consuming sugar, mine auto-corrects

When blood sugar drops, it creates symptoms, I do not get symptoms

There are only a handful of things that can cause hypoglycemia in a non-diabetic and even less consistently at night time. The doctor has already ruled out insulinoma (insulin producing tumors in the pancreas), so that leaves even less, and also the good old "we don't know what's wrong with you".

I'm not going to lie. This whole thing terrifies me. There's no telling how long my blood sugar has been doing this, and it only takes one dip below 50 for me to slip into a coma and die in my sleep. Luckily, my blood sugar does this crazy autocorrect thing, and I haven't died yet! Humor makes this easier.

Right now, I'm emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. Adding this on top of my already difficult life with POTS has been hard to cope with, and I'm crying a lot.

Hopefully, I'll get results soon, and my endocrinologist can figure out why this is happening and how to manage/fix it if it can be managed/fixed. Maybe I've got a completely new illness, and you'll find me in a medical journal! Wouldn't that be something.

Anyway, thanks for the continued support. I have a lot of IRL support from friends and family, but while I go through this process, I may seem distant, my posting might be sporadic, I may not keep my fic posting schedule, etc. And when I have an update, I promise to let y'all know!

Much love 💚💚💚

Steph

#tbbb speaks #health update

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moyokeansimblr · 3 months

Text

Update

Not feeling so hot and I'm not going to do anything impulsive at 8PM on a Friday evening but

here is a link to a sfs folder with ALL of my content that's currently only hosted on patreon.

I want to add individual sfs links to the tumblr posts but that's a lot and I'm now regretting never adding alt dl links this whole time... and sorry I don't think the downloads in the sfs folder are in order... it also might be some other things, like fixed meshes or stuff. tbh I just added everything I've made after April 3rd 2023 since that was the last time I uploaded anything to sfs.

I guess while I'm here... I was going to wait until after I finish up the last of my active requests (probably by Monday, I'm almost done) but I desperately need a break from CC. I sent a group message on the 17th to my $4 and $6 patrons encouraging them to cancel, but I know not everybody knows patreon even has dms so maybe you'll see this post and I'll reach out again in the coming days so nobody is wasting their money. I am so immensely burnt out and I need to not create for a while. This is completely my own fault, nobody made me work on CC for 8-10 hours 5 days a week for the last several months and I fully knew it wasn't sustainable ages ago but I kept doing it because it made me feel good, until it didn't. Quite honestly, even before I sent the group message the instant wave of relief I felt just having made the decision to take a break... that caught me off guard but just confirmed I need this. I do feel really awful about it because I feel like I'm letting people down but at the same time I don't want to hate creating which was already happening. That being said, I don't know how long the lull in CC is going to be, and if you're only following me strictly for CC I apologize. As said I am still finishing up one request I still had, I'm about 75% done with that as of this post. But that's gonna be it for a while.

There is a part of me that wants to stop using patreon completely and unpublish my creator page (which is what I'm not going to impulsively do tonight without properly thinking it through...since there are positives like how easy it is to download files and whatnot) but I'd again encourage not only those who joined the $4 and $6 tiers but also the $2 tier to cancel so that you aren't wasting your money. If I did do this I would definitely do the individual sfs links on everything first. I'd not just leave you guys unable to download my stuff.

So, what does that mean for this blog? I'll spare ye, impatient readers, who have already read a lot because I ramble⬇️

Well, as of posting this I still have THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR Strangetown posts in my queue. And I'm not tired of playing that.

I'm looking forward to having an opportunity to do all of the things I've been neglecting. I'm finally going to go through the subfolder within my downloads of everything I'm downloaded the last few months and decide if I wanna keep it in my game or not. And finish default replacing everything. And all my other various little projects I haven't been doing.

Also, I want to start playing Veronaville 😮I've already started downloading lots from kattaty to replace the in-game ones, and I found a cool replacement for the neighborhood map. I am leaning towards making a new sub-blog for this so that you don't have to try and follow Strangetown/LFT posts and Veronaville/ALT posts at the same time. I've only ever played the Veronaville sims for like one day as part of a super failed megahood years ago so I'd like to get to know them.

So basically, I guess I'm a gameplay blog for now? Until I want to create anything again anyways, but I don't know when that will be.

I don't know how to end this post... I'm sorry for the disappointment, but thank you so much for enjoying my stuff 💛💛

#moyokean #sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 2 #thesims2

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captaincryolicious · 2 years

Text

Your bookstore crush II

➳ Alhaitham x gn!reader

➳ Oneshot ; 2.7k

➳ Fluff, humor, pining, modern AU ; No warnings

Even after weeks of working together, your crush on your handsome co-worker hasn't faded yet. If any, it only grew stronger. [29.10.2022] [part one] [part three]

Zep's Note ; Part two, as promised! Tagging those who asked for it! @kaewrlds @kunikuzushicandegrademefr @yukina-otome @akrispykrisp @naruuie @rieooeo @salamiwrites

content under the cut | masterlist

“Thank you for your purchase, how are you enjoying the series so far?” you asked the blue-haired boy in front of the counter. He was a regular customer, and he just bought the fifth part of an ongoing series that was insanely popular.

“It’s quite good, but I have to admit that I’m still waiting for a plot twist,” he replied, stuffing the book into his bag as he offered you a smile. “But the writing is on point and so is the characterisation, so you won’t hear me complain.”

“That’s a good point,” you mused out loud. “I’m only at part three so I don’t really know as much as you do, though.”

“The story drags on like this for a few books, you’ll see,” the boy told you.

“I see,” you nodded, flashing him a smile. “Anyway, enjoy reading and until next time!”

He left the store, and you moved away from the cash desk to help your co-worker relocate some of the books to make room for a new series that was about to be released. Alhaitham was already on it, but he had ceased his work and was looking at you instead.

It had been a couple of weeks since the bookstore opened, and you were quite content with your new job. After overcoming a fair share of awkwardness that was effortly induced after your colleague boldly saved himself in your contacts as ‘your bookstore crush’ (which was true, though you still didn’t admit that to Alhaitham), you started to get along just fine. You really had to get used to his quiet and stoic demeanor and his often blunt and straight-to-the-point remarks and the way he flustered the heck out of you sometimes, but eventually you decided they were simply part of his charm. Even after a few weeks of working together, he was still a mystery. But you had gotten closer, you could tell from the way Alhaitham indulged in small talk with you far more often and he brought dried Zaytun peaches to share with you almost every day.

That aside, you just enjoyed working at the bookstore, regardless of your colleague. It was fun to be surrounded by books and their smell, you were always up-to-date with the newest releases and latest rumors and updates in the world of fiction, you made good use of the employer discount, and you learned a lot of new skills.

“Customers always seem happier when you help them,” the male with silver hair remarked when you crouched down next to him, ready to take some books off the lower shelves. He asked, “What is your secret?”

You pondered for a moment, your eyes flickering to Alhaitham’s face. He looked back at you, serious as ever, his expression completely neutral and evened out. Though he was insanely handsome, and you were struggling to look at him without blushing, he didn’t have that kind of shine that would awaken a spark of enthusiasm in the customers.

“Maybe it’s because I smile at them a lot,” you wondered. “You know, people pick up someone’s vibe easily, so if you approach them with enthusiasm, they might reciprocate it. Not to be mean or something, but when you help customers you kinda look at them as if–”

“As if what?” Alhaitham asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

“You’re so serious,” you quickly said, dodging his question because you had no idea how to finish the sentence you started. “And don’t get me wrong, you look really handso– Uhm, I guess people just pick up my cheerful vibe and mirror it right back.” You felt like burying your face in the palms of your hands in utter embarrassment. You still stumbled over your words way too often around him, blurting out things you shouldn’t.

In the few weeks you worked together, you also learned that Alhaitham wasn’t dense. Either that, or your many slip-ups were just too obvious. Or maybe both. He gave it away when he gave back your phone after entering that ridiculously accurate contact name. Alhaitham was not oblivious, but it appeared that he simply chose to ignore your crush. In a way, it was sort of sad, but you were also grateful. Now you could at least work together and pretend nothing was going on – aside from those moments where you messed up or your co-worker seemed to fluster you on purpose.

He was scrutinizing you, and you had to do something to ease the awkwardness that hung in the air.

“There is nothing wrong with being serious, of course,” you were quick to add. “But if you want to make customers happy too, maybe you should smile at them when they make a purchase.”

Now that you thought about it, did you ever see Alhaitham smile? Sure, you’ve heard him chuckle occasionally, but never really did you see a smile form on his features. He was a solemn guy, but for that reason it always felt like there was some sort of distance between you, a distance that couldn’t be crossed.

“Smile more, you say?” Alhaitham brought out.

What happened after he spoke was very funny to you. He pressed his mouth into a tense thin line, and while the corners of his lips tilted up a little, it didn’t look at all convincing. His eyes didn’t necessarily sell the look, either. If this was his version of a polite smile, there was a lot of work to do. It looked precisely fabricated, but it completely missed the mark. You snorted, hiding a laugh behind your hand.

“Okay, cut it out,” you chuckled. “You look like a menace to society now.”

Your mind flew back to that one moment where he pressed his firm chest against your back, ostensibly with the intention of helping you with those books on the top shelf. The thought alone was enough to make your cheeks heat up again, but it also awakened a plan in your mind. Two could play that game.

“Smile, Alhaitham. Smile!” you chimed.

You were going to make him smile today, even if it was the last thing you’d ever do.

Alhaitham’s expression relaxed after the weird grimace he put up, but his eyes widened when you reached out your hands. Beaming at him as you ignored the nervousness you felt, you put your index fingers on the corners of his mouth and gently tugged them upward a little. His brows jumped in surprise above his turquoise irises, and his entire body tensed over momentarily. In a swift movement, he whisked your wrists away using his hands, but the corners of his mouth didn’t drop when your hands were removed. A genuine smile rested on his lips, one filled with amusement.

“You really are something else, Y/N,” he chuckled, releasing your wrists.

You couldn’t help the smile that crossed your features, now that he offered you a smile that was as real as it could get. As if you were spellbound, you couldn’t take your eyes away, but you barely realized that you were staring, just as much as you failed to notice how he was staring right back at you. Momentarily, his strong and stoic demeanor had vanished, making room for a man who looked more open and approachable – and soft – than he ever did before. Your heart was pounding, captured and allured by the magic of that very moment.

Only when the bell above the door rang excitedly, you snapped out of your little daze. Alhaitham was the first one to avert his gaze, pushing himself off the hardwood floor and getting to his feet. Fortunately, you had been blocked from the customer’s view by a tall bookshelf. Imagine getting caught like that! The thought made you feel even more embarrassed than you already did. What just happened?

“Be honest, Y/N,” Alhaitham whispered. “Were you about to call me handsome earlier?”

Oh, he remembered? You wanted nothing but to vanish immediately.

“What if I did,” you huffed, crossing your arms.

“Hm,” the silver-haired male hummed. “Alright, back to work now.”

He walked away, leaving you in your crouched position on the floor. Your pulse was still racing, screeching against your vessels as you blushed furiously. But you had to collect yourself. You forced your hands to start moving, taking books off the shelf and putting them into a cardboard box to make room for others. Bemused, you fulfilled your task without seeing Alhaitham once. You only heard his voice when he helped the customer at the cash register – was it just you, or was he really trying to sound a little more lively? It sounded adorable in your ears.

The rest of your shift drew by slowly. A few customers walked in and out of the store, some actually buying something while others came only to browse. Either you or Alhaitham helped them at the counter, while the other remained focused on keeping the bookstore tidy and clean. You barely talked, which was strange, since you usually spent the time the store was void of customers together. It wasn’t long before you realized that he took occasional glances at you, but instead of looking away when you caught his stare, his turquoise gaze held yours. It made your heart flutter, and you couldn’t resist taking small peeks at him the entire time.

And then it was time to close the store for the day. The sky outside was darkening, and by the time you helped the last customers, the store was wrapped in a cozy light that came from various dangling ceiling lamps. You logged out of the digital cash register and checked the lock on the cash drawer while Alhaitham closed the front entrance. You kept brushing past each other as you prepared to close the shop, but hardly ever someone spoke a word. It was kind of strange, but you weren’t all that surprised after today’s little event. You weren’t stupid, you had seen the blush on Alhaitham’s face – it was there just as much as it had been on your cheeks.

You had managed to fluster your bookstore crush.

“It’s getting dark,” the silver-haired male pointed out, which was the first thing he said to you after quite some time. “Want me to walk you home?”

It wasn’t entirely necessary, and you would most likely be fine on your own. It was only a short walk to get to your home, and the neighborhood you had to pass through had a good reputation. You weren’t afraid of anything happening, but were you going to turn down his offer? No, of course not. That would be stupid. He walked you home more often, and you enjoyed it.

“I’d appreciate that,” you nodded. “Thanks.”

Together, you went to the back of the store, where you entered the employees only room. You collect your coat and other belongings, before leaving the store through the back door. The crisp outside air greeted you, and the sound of rush hour fell upon your eardrums. It was five pm, the time everyone went home. It was busy on the streets as you walked home, but no one spoke a word regardless. Why was it so quiet? Had today really left that deep of an impression on the both of you? You used to think Alhaitham was fairly unaffected by happenings such as today’s, but it seemed that he was rendered speechless by it just as much.

Even after a solid six minutes of walking, the tall male spoke up.

“Y/N, I have a question,” he began.

“Shoot,” you said, your curiosity picked. You looked at him tentatively as you walked, unsure of what to expect. Would he talk about today? About what happened hidden behind that bookshelf, that moment that got rudely interrupted by the chime of the bell? You wanted him to address it, even though you had no idea what to say. You had acted on a whim.

“Did you ever change my contact name?” came the hesitant question.

You halted in your steps, looking at him with wide eyes. Out of all things, that was what he brought up? The answer would be embarrassing, because you never bothered to change his contact slot name – it was true, so why would you change it? On the other hand, you were convinced that Alhaitham was already well aware of your crush on him. Why else would he so boldly name himself that in your phone? You were stuck, contemplating what to do. Being honest was probably the best option here. Lying yourself out of situations wasn’t exactly your style. Alhaitham also stopped walking, and you stood there in the yellowish hue of a looming streetlight.

“I didn’t,” you admitted, studying the uneven pavement at your feet.

“May I ask why?” he asked. He looked at you, his face even as always.

You sucked in a deep breath. Be honest, Y/N, you told yourself. You got this! It was only confessing what was already oh so obvious. Alhaitham had a keen eye, he probably saw right through you the moment you stepped into the bookstore for the very first time. There was absolutely no point in denying it. Your co-worker was bold, now it was time for you to be as well. You got this!

“Because it’s the truth,” you bluntly replied. mimicking the tone he so often used. You flashed him a look to pinpoint his reaction, trying to come across nonchalantly. But your heart was racing, your cheeks were probably bright red at this point and you hoped that the streetlight didn’t fully expose your embarrassment. You wished you could hide how flustered you were, and you tried your hardest.

“I see,” Alhaitham said, his turquoise eyes on you and you only. “I’m asking you out, then.”

“R-Really?” you brought out, and your cheeks took an even intenser shade of red – was that even possible? “Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious, Y/N?” the silver-haired male sighed. “Are you that dense?”

“I’m not,” you sputtered. “I’m just… surprised.”

Oh, you really were surprised. Though at the same time, you knew you could have seen it coming. The fact that he asked you to work with him in the bookstore, all the teasing he obviously did on purpose, the way he always made sure not to miss your reactions and how he always lingered close in the bookstore, seeming to observe you with solemn turquoise eyes, the stolen glances and longing gazes. And if those weren’t enough, there was today’s event – the first time you had seen him smile, the first time you ever saw him grow flustered. He was your bookstore crush, but you were also his.

“And I am nervous until you give me an answer,” Alhaitham deadpanned. “Being nervous is not like me at all.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” you brought out quickly. “It’s a yes, of course.”

For the second time since meeting him, a smile ghosted over his features. It awakened a swarm of butterflies in your stomach, and you felt like you were afloat on cloud nine. Your bookstore crush wasn’t one-sided, but rather something that was reciprocated. Not only that, but the mysterious guy you grew so infatuated with just asked you out; you could positively combust of happiness. God, how grateful you were for the little mistake he had made in the beginning, putting the sign on the door on open instead of closed. Nothing of this would’ve happened, had he put the sign in the right position right away.

Who knew that such a simple, seemingly insignificant mistake, could lead to something so beautiful as possible love? You certainly didn’t, but you found yourself believing in strings of faith in that very moment.

As if to seal a solemn promise, Alhaitham took your hand in his. Though your hand was cold from the chilly autumn evening air, his were still fairly warm. His fingers intertwined with yours as he brought your connected hands up, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of your hand. You couldn’t help the massive smile that spread your cheeks, and there was a skip in your step when he gently urged you to start walking again. You stole a quick glance at your crush, and the stoic mask had made way for an expression that was far more open, relaxed. You had unfolded a new side of the male, one you couldn’t wait to get to know better.

You smiled fondly, one thing on your mind.

Your favorite book store really was a special place.

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #alhaitham genshin impact #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham #al haitham #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #alhaitham imagine #alhaitham imagines

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socialist-microwave-laser · 10 months

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your post regarding christians learning hebrew made me consider - i'm anishinaabe (ojibwe or chippewa or native american or however you call it) and so i very much hope this does not derail you and is instead only the shared experience i mean it to be - it reminds me of how white people and the descendants of colonizers will mystify & then appropriate native medicine and mythology, our art, languages, and cultures, because they think it has secret ancient magic powers, and that everybody who actually practices that medicine or speaks that language is dead and gone, and that indigenous people are ancient history. when we are still alive and around and speaking those languages and practicing that medicine today. and the only reason we would even be all dead and gone anyways is if the colonizers who now appropriate our culture had succeeded in their plan to wipe us out!! anyways that's just a thought, like i said, i hope this only comes across as solidarity of some sort, i read your post and really felt i related to the experience!

oh this isn't a derailment at all!!! something i've noticed a lot but feel like i don't know enough about to be eloquent with it is the similarities between a lot of indigenous cultures and jewish cultures. idk it's super cool. shoutout to Really Fucking Old cultures and traditions surviving through and despite everything

there was a celebration for 40 years of democracy here in argentina at la plaza de mayo on saturday. lots of argentinian flags everywhere, big concert stage set up, the works. my friend and i went to an encampment on the casa rosada side that i had noticed a few times before. they had hand-painted signs talking about how they're from an indigenous self-advocacy group that has been trying to get an audience with the president for two years and three months. to support their continued stay on la plaza, they had a shop of homemade materials like bags, scarves, baskets, and more. i ended up buying gifts for my siblings, a gorgeous rainbow scarf with designs the man was telling me had all unique meanings and symbolisms in mapuche culture, and a handmade necklace of the tree of life. i told him that being jewish i'm always on the lookout for more scarves i can use to cover my head, and he told me he hopes this will serve me well (it has, i'm in love with it already). when he told me about the tree of life necklace, i told him judaism has similar symbolism, called etz hayim. he thanked me for teaching him the term

i don't know if that was a particularly impactful exchange for him, but there was some sort of solidarity i immediately felt, like our fights are intertwined (as are all our fights but you know what i mean). you put at least some reasons why that solidarity exists here into words. we are parts of cultures that have faced and are still facing attempted genocide after attempted genocide, and yet we are still here, embodying our people and not backing down. as people try to relegate us to some mystical past, we are vocal and fight back. solidarity to you anon, ily and i wish you the best. please feel free to talk to me more about this

i've reached out to the indigenous organizers currently camping out in front of la casa rosada but as of writing this i haven't gotten a response. the website hasn't been updated in a bit, but i'll add what information i have so that more people can learn about this fight in argentina (i'm realizing as i add this stuff that almost everything is in spanish lmao. i'm going to reblog this with the photos of their signs and translations of each. if your browser doesn't automatically translate these links please lmk and i'd be happy to help out anybody interested in learning more)

information about the org:

a story about a previous protest:

a story about the current encampment:

#indigenous liberation #jumblr #landback #land back #christian antisemitism tw #cultural appropriation #solidarity #anarchist #genocide tw #asks #anonymous #argentinian politics

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dateamonster · 6 months

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webcomics*! webcomics baby!!! i grew up reading these bad boys like they were the sunday funnies. im serious i would get up early in so i could check my daily roster of webcomic updates before leaving for school.

webcomics sort of feel to me like my generations version of zines. not that both those things arent still around, i just mean that, in the same way that there was this big boom of super creative zine self-publishing in the 70s through the 90s thanks to the increasing access to copy machines, and later home printing, the early 00s-10s was sort of the moment people seemed to collectively realize they could kind of just upload whatever they wanted to the internet and people would actually see it, leading naturally to another boom in indie art and storytelling.

a lot of the comics that popped up around this time were sort of... rough. raw. weird. there were no rules about what a webcomic had to be other than 1) a comic and 2) on the web, so there was some freedom to be as messy or as precise as the author wanted. this led to some real bangers, and some absolute flops. but regardless of how it turned out i think theres something to be admired about the sheer amount of creativity going into these projects that, for the most part, were purely passion-driven without any guarantee of greater recognition or success.

obviously webcomics are still around, but the culture surrounding them has shifted quite a bit. most people who are willing to put in the work of a longform serialized comic In This Economy are also doing so with the hope of being able to profit or at least sustain themselves financially on their work. theres no shame in that! but it has made the webcomic scene more competitive, more polished, less experimental. capitalism at work, you know.

people arent really as incentivized to try new things and dare i say get a little weird with it when innovation doesnt pay the pills. however that doesnt mean that there arent still artists out there who are challenging that.

i got the idea a while ago that i wanted to put together a list of webcomics that have been really influential to me and my own creative efforts, but i realized that list would be a mile long and wouldnt really give me the breathing room to talk about why those works resonate with me. so i decided instead to make a list specifically of my (currently) most beloved, most influential webcomics that i feel like are doing something unique that sort of pushes the boundaries of what is considered a "normal" comic.

presented in no particular order, with all attempts made to be spoiler-free, below:

nasty red dogs and feast for a king by kosmicdream (18+)

delicious, dark, meaty comics. ffak in particular is like this massive sprawling scifi stream of consciousness thick with blood and viscera and. a lot of highly transsexual erotic cannibalism tbqh.

personally i find nasty red dogs a lot more like easy to get into story-wise, but both are just chockablock full of this beautiful grotesque unapologetic and downright indulgent physicality. its pages dripping with every fluid you can think of and some you cant, and its also compelling surprisingly empathetic characters set against a backdrop of otherworldly rituals, cosmic pre-apocolypses, and worlds inside of worlds inside of worlds. body horror heaven lives here.

mr boop and crimehot by alec robbins (very 18+)

if youre at all into weird webcomics youre probably already well familiar with mr boop, and if you arent theres really nothing i can say other than Please give it a shot, but if you havent been keeping up with alecs work since then you might not be as familiar with his current project crimehot. and thats a damn shame because it is all the comedy, unabashed horniness, and surprisingly understated storytelling of mr boop taken to its absolute max.

crimehot is set in a future where nearly every aspect of human life and culture is controlled by an all-powerful all-seeing computer algorithm. but who cares about all that when theres a ragtag team of ultra sexy ultra horny master thieves going on wacky little misadventures together!

alecs style is blunt and simplistic in a way that comes off as juvenile at first glance, and then uses that presumption to completely blindside you with its actual content, reminding me weirdly enough of memeable classic tails gets trolled. in spite of their potential as works of ironic comedy however alecs comics really give me this impression of total earnestness. crimehot in particular is so blatantly un-erotic, with its complete lack of any subtlety, comically exaggerated (and surprisingly diagetic) anatomy, and impossible physical positions, that it circles back around into becoming, indeed, kind of hot. i think silliness can be hot so sue me!

blind alley by adam de souza

departing completely from my last couple recs, blind alley is a cozy, peanuts-inspired comic strip about the day to day lives of the children of blind alley. its also occasionally a deeply unsettling horror-mystery that has just barely begun to show its hand more than two years in. its distinguishing factor to me comes from the fact that the cozy exterior doesnt seem to be there to conceal or divert your attention away from the growing sense of unease that infiltrates its panels on an increasingly frequent basis as the story progresses. it feels more like the two elements live side by side, horror and mundanity, otherworldly creatures and secret conspiracies living peacefully alongside lazy summer afternoons and goofing off with your friends. it perfectly captures the anxiety of knowing that theres something the grown-ups arent telling you, the powerlessness of being a kid.

blind alley feels to me sort of like if those "what if Nostalgic Cartoon was secretly DARK" media theories were actually real, and actually scary. i might be getting ahead of myself as the series likes to take its time and is really only just starting to peel back the layers, but what ive read so far feels makes me feel like this could be something very special.

boy island by leo fox

beautiful beautiful beautiful first of all. the dreamy, surreal visuals? the colors?? oujhjh.. boy island is set in a world split violently in two, divided into boy island and girl island, and surrounded on all sides by a sea of monsters mutants and ghosts, those sorry souls who committed the trespass of trying to cross from one land to the other, or even live outside of either! a boy named lucille must strike out on his own to make it to boy island, but in doing so begins to discover things about the world and in fact himself that reveal an even greater mission.

im making this all sound very dramatic. its a trans story. its about trans people, being trans. its also about surviving the ripples of a world laid out for you by your parents, managing grief for the ones that didnt, and a funny little blue guy named jounce. also did i mention its gorgeous? hot fuckin diggity it is gooorgeous.

vivians ghost by hal schrieve (18+)

speaking of trans comics!! (plot twist: theyre all trans comics suckerrrr) look, all of hals comics are fucking baller and im sure the book zes got coming out will be too, but ive like Imprinted on this one. its attached itself my brain. much like the main protagonist collin has been attached to by his suicide victim best friend and ex highschool bf viv!

the sketchy art style threw me off at first but it quickly becomes part of the charm and meshes very well with the chaotic pace and gutpunch emotional moments. theres a strong element of magical realism that i honestly think comics as a medium were made for. viv is a ghost, and viv is grief, and guilt, and fantasy, and shame, and glorious trans revenge taken form, and hes not even the only apparition in this story, taking the stage alongside cameos by jesus christ, a detransitioners fursona, almanda palmer, and (checks notes) gonzo for a second there i think.

as a disclaimer (or incentive, depending) no one in this story i think is someone you could really call a good person. some of them are in fact plainly terrible. they are all so undeniably fucking fascinating though. and viv himself gleefully inhabits that moral gray area, deliberately and loudly disturbing any image of himself as a pure perfect victim, blurring lines and thrusting both the characters and audience out of their comfort zone. its a challenging read thats not going to be everyone for sure, but i definitely think its worth the read.

(and if this sounds interesting to you but youre not sure you can handle it, hal has other equally good comics that are still heavy on the trans gay relationship drama but much lighter on the childhood trauma.)

what happens next by maximumgraves

if youre reading this on tumblr i hope that youve at least heard of what happens next by now. thee seminal tumblrina art of our time i swear. it starts with a true crime podcast exploring the strange story of griffin and his accomplice milo, trans teen murderers, the latter of which has since been released from the psych hospital while the former continues to serve his sentence. but thats in the past, and in the present milo still has to figure out how to live the rest of his life.

the story moves rapidly, though not necessarily chronologically, in and out of the real world and the online lives its characters frequently inhabit like its guiding you through a twisted dream. its a comic on the internet about the internet from someone clearly well aware of its more poisonous aspects, as well as the addictive quality it can have for someone who has become otherwise isolated from the world.

at the end of the day though the major appeal i think is the characters, how messy and horrible and tragic they can be, which is all you can really hope for from a largely character-driven narrative. to say much more i think would ruin the experience, but ill say what happens next absolutely delivers on its ominous title, and im waiting on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.

preeny has to repeat 6th grade by momodriller

on a Much lighter note, preeny has to repeat 6th grade is a super cute adventure series about a magical little kitty named preeny who on her first day of sixth grade is called upon to go on a great mission. its a sparklefur comic!! ive been really starting to dive into furry art lately, and if youre the kind of person who raises an eyebrow at that statement, fine, whatever, but im talking to the cool people right now so keep it to yourself.

art from within the furry subculture is such insanely creative and passionate stuff, and the focus on this subset in particular, calling back to the early 2000s deviantart xD rAWR s0 rand0m era of online culture, feels so intensely nostalgic it makes my chest ache, despite never being heavily involved in the sparklefur scene myself.

the author states in the comics description that the story takes inspiration from her experiences as an autistic child, and even before reading that man i felt it. what really makes this comic unique to me though is that the majority of characters that appear are based on adoptables the author purchased off of, as she puts it, the children of deviantart. i LOVE that. not only is that probably amazing for the kids, it makes every character feel truly unique and adds perfectly to the overall flavor of the world shes created. there is just not another comic i can think of that feels alive like this one.

broccoli soup by secretpie

ok so i know how we might feel about webtoon comics but hear me out. broccoli soup is probably the first comic ive seen to really exploit the otherwise sort of bland and restrictive format of webtoons, utilizing the excess of white space to enhance the feeling of emptiness that characterizes the protagonist broccoli's time in the blank void they call home as well as to make the sparse use of color really pop in contrast.

broccoli soup is a mysterious series thats a little hard to pin down in terms of genre. a strange little being named broccoli spends their days in a vast blankness drinking tea with their loving yet highly suspicious Best Friend and benefactor, doris. doris has the ability to move between worlds, coming and going as she pleases, while broccoli is only allowed to leave when they are on a mission on her behalf. these missions vary, but the goal is always the same: make everything Polite and Good.

as the story progresses, little by little more friends and more color come into broccolis still new existence. the art style also changes from world to world, which imo is a very nice touch. and! theres music! its an interesting project that dances back and forth between fantastical whimsy and some surprisingly dark moments. and thats the shit i like to see.

thats all for now! though if im lucky there will be many more fun stories and projects to talk about in the future. keep in mind as well that this is like barely half of all the webcomics im currently reading, just the ones that most stick out to me as really doing something special.

until next time yall!!

oh wait sike honorable mentions time

awful hospital by bogleech

the only reason this isnt up there with the rest is bc im woefully behind at the moment. ill get back to it eventually! awful hospital is an interactive multimedia horror-comedy webcomic about a hospital that is. well this hospital is simply sub-par to say the least.

hedgehog's dilemma by mellodilla

this ones still a little new to say much on but so far it looks like a cute series. what most appeals to me is that the art style looks like something that fit in seamlessly with an early 90s newspaper comic strip. in particular it has a strong calvin and hobbes vibe to me. just, you know, about wacky lil lesbian animals living their lives.

ok now im done for real

*for clarity's sake, im using webcomic here to mean "a series of comics that was first published and predominantly exists online" so even if a print version exists, i still consider it to be first and foremost a webcomic. this also includes comics that contain a multimedia or interactive element. if its a combination of pictures and words to tell a story, its a comic.

also my list is probably going to end up massively favoring serialized fiction because thats just what i like to read, but i dont necessarily think thats a required element.

#ungodly screeching #recommendations #kinda off topic but also kinda not lol #this got way out of hand #oh also if i got anyones pronouns wrong pls let me know! i tried to track everyones down

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thegrimreaperisanerd · 6 months

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hi :) binge read your de fic that you have posted on ao3 last night and really enjoyed all of it! excited to see any updates. was wondering if you have any rec for other fic youve read and enjoyed-- i am not god's bravest soldier and do not enjoy trudging through tags and was wondering if you had read anything yourself that you really enjoyed lolol

Hey, thanks so much!!! Sorry it's taken a couple days to answer this, I'm poor as shit and have two jobs now wah... capitilism...

I'm working on the next 46' chapter, It's about 70% complete and I generally let it sit for an evening once it's done then re-read it the next day to catch the vast majority of mistakes (I edit everything myself) so I'd say expect that in the coming days.

I have some thoughts! I... Have never been asked for fic recs before so I'm gonna list a bunch in no particular order that I enjoyed, and reasons why. I will note that I tend to enjoy meaty plot-based works over fluff, so that's what I'll be recommending. Anyway!

Paddling Out (THE REPEATER CORPSE CONUNDRUM) - @transhitman - So this is the first DE fic I read and it set the bar pretty fucking high. YOU'VE GOT: a very cool and insular setting (don't get me wrong I like fics where they travel around Revachol too, but there's something to be said for building a set and living in it for a while) YOU'VE GOT: extremely harrowing tension and pale-fuckery YOU'VE GOT: some genuinely beautiful, heartfelt moments (I don't want to spoil anything but "people don't need your permission to care about you" kinda undid me) YOU'VE ALSO GOT: Amazing art?! Always a bonus, I wish I could draw people lol

Have You Heard The News That You're Dead? - Wizardlover - Time Loop shenanigans hell yeah! Basic premise: Kim is *unable* to save Harry's life after he's shot at the tribunal, each time he dies he Reawakens in Martinaise on the first day and desperately has to try and find a way to either prevent the Tribunal entirely, or survive it. I think the major draw to this one is how well it's characterised and how well that lends to the major source of tension: trying to convince THE WORLD'S BIGGEST SKEPTIC that you *a man he 'has only just met'* is actually stuck in a time loop. Juicy shit.

The Case Of The Man Who Two-Thirds Wasn't There - @glisteningceruleaneyes - We got another case fic here, gang. This is one of those "they travel around Revachol" numbers I previously mentioned. A lot to love about this fic; the minor OCs are all loveable (or at least well-written, looking at you Mr. Bigot-All-Rounder), the elements of writing in the game's style (particularly use of Harry's 'to do' list that you find in the ledger, you don't see that as often!) are all fantastic. Also without spoiling too much I'm a sucker for hurt/ comfort :) I like when bad things happen to our specialist guy :) ALSO! alternating chapters, Kim vs Harry's perspectives contrast REALLY well! Just a super enjoyable read. - On that note I also wanna include a special mention: there's a podfic for this one and since I mentioned my two jobs, I've been listening to audiobooks at work (I'm a cleaner. It's very boring) and that was a fun change of pace!

The Emergent Causeway - hal_incandenza - Now you KNOW this one is good because it's the only *unfinished* fic I'm recommending. Again, We've got art! We've got a brand new (non-Revachol!) setting that still feels excellently Elysium! We got that excellent balance of humour and misery from the get go! EXCELLENT murder mystery so far, I am intrigued AND also there's a fucking puppy. Hell yeah. This one's from Kim's perspective and does a really good job of it, nothing like a man being begrudgingly sent on holiday and being somewhat relieved to have a corpse to deal with.

A Spilled Kaleidoscope - @spilledkaleidoscope - I'm actually recommending a series here. Real definition of "came for the art, stayed for the writing" I mostly have a soft spot because I got to watch a few "haha, what if-?" musing text posts become a series of written chapters and INCREDIBLE DRAWINGS HOLY SHIT. Like, you really just draw hands for fun, huh? This person made a pact with some sort of devil beasts to draw hands very good, at the bare minimum we can read their fiction.

Nothing To Lose But Our Chains - Lepak - I almost forgot this one and I honestly can't believe it because this is one of these ones that you need a cigarette afterwards. Good fucking god. This is probably the best fic I've ever read in terms of not shying away from the heavy themes that make Disco Elysium such a beautiful, moving game. It tackles a racism in many forms, particularly how people like Kim (in working for the RCM) and immigration laws do their part in upholding racist systems, despite the way it hurts him too. Of course, it's also excellently written with tense scenes and some real funny moments. A real good'un here.

The Catacomb Killer - SupposedToBeWriting - Give Harry more memory loss. Make him convinced he killed a kid. Make *Kim* convinced he killed a kid... Then the plot thickens. I won't lie I can't remember fuck all about this one because I was mostly drunk when I read it, but if it was good enough that I kept reading instead of smoking a spliff or something then it must have been excellent... I will re-read it when I have the time, lmao.

MURDER ON THE AIRWAVES - @randomisedmongoose - I'm just a really big fan of murder mysteries and gore. You show me somebody with brain matter pouring from their earholes and I'm like "yum yum, more of that please." I am a sucker for curious methods of murder and this one's good for that. Lots of trekking back and forth like in the game again. More ACAB - always good.

I did not mean to include this many...........................

Oh well. Here's my list, there are plenty of others I've enjoyed but these are just the ones that came to mind! Thanks again for reading my fic! Always makes me happy when people let me know they enjoy my writing :3

#hey if i tagged u in this and u don't want to be tagged then PLEASE lemme know and i'll remove u #likewise i dont know if everyone has tumblr so if u know somebody does ping this post their way and if they wanna be tagged let me know and #i'll do that #fic recs

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starrcrossrose · 5 days

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hi! first of all I just wanted to say I've read all of your works and they are literally my fav rottmnt fics to exist :) second, do you know any good leosagi fics?

WAAAHHHH thank you so much! I have so much more I want to write and SOOOO many one shots just. Sitting in my drive 🤣 maybe I’ll post some to the public someday~. I’m currently working on an update for V!Leo AU too so I hope you look forward to that! Thank you so so so much for reading, it means the world to me that people like anything I write 🥹

Also YES YES LEOSAGI FICS. I don’t know like too many bc I’m very very picky, but I have two specifically that I love so much I keep coming back to them. They live in my head rent free~

Give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around by Taizi (I have reread this fic a horrendous amount of times but I just really love how it’s written; also it’s complete)

So In Love And Yet Nothing To Talk About by rosesofenvy (the visuals! The ideas! Soulmates! Augh! I loved this one so very much it was creative and excellent. Also complete!)

I have read some other ones that I also enjoyed tho too so I’ll put those below.

no refunds by bobtheacorn (this one is incomplete but I loved the honest approach to the big feelings first love can have at a younger age. I don’t know how else to describe it other than me reading it and going “oh yes that’s so similar to things I felt when I was that age and liking someone who liked me back” but it CAN get a little heavy at points. Most specifically in the last updated chapter so do with that what you will) They have a collection, actually, for these two so I’ll plop that here as well

When Worlds Collide by celestiangel (this one was very cute, I enjoyed it! It is also complete.

That’s all I have rn. There are a few others I’ve opened up to read but just haven’t started yet, alas. I’ve been writing a lot for myself instead xD Hope you like these!

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #Starr Speaks #ask #answer #fanfic recs #leosagi

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kaylinlmao · 1 year

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The black phone Can you make one with the reader with social anxiety/depression

Hi! Long time no see! This is fic #1 in my new years event.

New update on my fic writing! In every single fic I write, Reader will be 17 and all TBP boys will be 18. If in the fic they are in high school, both reader and all TBP boys will be in their senior year. This will apply to all fics I write, even if they're not with the TBP boys, unless I specify otherwise. When I do fics, I will usually do them in 1st or 3rd person. With headcannons, I will do them in 2nd person. So keep that in mind while requesting! Hope you enjoy!

Of course I will do this request! I was scrolling through my requests and saw this one. I also suffer from social anxiety and depression so hopefully I got this one! I'm going to do these as slight yandere but seperate headcannons. I also hc that Finn speaks fluent French so from now on. Boom. You're welcome. All of these specific headcannons will end the same with TBP boy saying I love you with the nickname I think they'd call you. Cool? Cool. Meanings behind the nicknames. Robin and Finney's are pretty self explanatory. Bruce's is because I guarantee you he cracks jokes about you being his little cheerleader. Vance is because I'm sure some of us are short.

Slight Yandere!Ghost Boys x Reader who suffers from social anxiety and depression (separate headcannons)

Finney Blake

He was walking you to the library so that he could tutor Robin and you could read until he was done, just like every other day. The halls were very crowded and you began to get overwhelmed.

You started to get self conscious, feeling as though everyone's eyes were on you. Which, of course, wasn't true. But in the moment, that's what it felt like.

It began to get harder to breath. It felt like you were suffocating.

Now, Finn began to notice something was wrong. He didn't know about your social anxiety and depression. Although he did have his suspicions.

"Are you ok, sweet girl?" He asked you, reaching your hand and squeezing lightly. You smiled a big (fake) smile. "Oh, yeah! I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He saw right through you and you knew it.

He pulled you into the broom closet that was right next to you both. "What's wrong?" "Nothing!" "What's. Wrong?" 'Finn, I said it was nothing!" "Y/N!" "What?!" "Listen, please. Just tell me what's wrong." "Just, feeling a bit stressed." He gave you a disbelieving look.

He pulled you onto his lap so you're straddling him. "Please, little one. What's wrong?" With a little touch on your thigh and the look in his eyes, like he cared. You finally cracked and told him about how you felt. He asked you very specific questions about who makes you feel stressed and sad. Then, those people didn't come to school the next day. You knew. But you were too in love with him to care.

"Thank you for telling me." "Thank you for listening."

"I love you, ma petite fille de l’espace" "I love you too, Finn."

ma petite fille de l’espace: my little space girl

Robin Arellano

He never noticed that you acted different than others until you did something strange during your presentation in History class. You felt everyone's eyes on you and began to freak out, almost having a panic attack before locking eyes with Robin. You took a deep breath and made it through the presentation.

"What was that about?" He asked you while you were in the gym. It was after school and Robin was boxing while you drew in your sketchpad. "What was what about, Robin?" "The presentation thingy in history today. You kinda freaked out, y'know?" "No, I don't know. I'm literally fine. It was all fine."

But he wouldn't let it go. After paying more attention, he noticed that you gripped his hand tighter in the cafeteria and in the halls, in public in general. And that some days, you would come to school super sad. So, he went and did some research and found that a lot of the things you did match the symptoms for depression and social anxiety. He was offended that you didn't tell him. But. Oh shit! Maybe you didn't know! He has to tell you so you can both work on it together.

So, he went to your house that afternoon and sat you down to talk about it. "I did some research. And I think you have social anxiety and depression. But don't worry! I'll help you." The look on your face wasn't of worry. It was of acceptance. Acceptance that now that Robin knew, he'd leave you. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't want you to leave me. I know I'm broken but please don't leave." You said, starting to sob.

"Oh, princesa. You really think I'd let you leave me. Never. You're mine forever. I'll love you even if you were the ugliest person in the world. Which you aren't. You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever met." "So you're not gonna leave me?" "I wouldn't let you leave, much less leave you myself. You're mine, Y/N." He said, pulling you down onto the bed and giving you a kiss. Wrapping his arms around you, you were hugging him like a koala. Legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he lay on the bed, smiling at you.

"I love you, mi princesita." "I love you too, Robin."

princesa: princess

hermosa: beautiful

mi princesita: my little princess

A/N: I'm sorry if I get any translations wrong. I used Google so. My apologies.

Bruce Yamada

You went to his championship baseball game to support him and everything was going great! You were cheering on the sidelines. I mean, he doesn't call you his little cheerleader for nothing.

But the loud screams your brother was yelling was making you nervous. You felt as though everyone was looking towards you and your brother. You're brother, of course, didn't give a flying fuck.

But you did. It was stressing you the fuck out. Your palms were sweaty, heart beating quickly, breathing sped up.

And you were like that until the game was over. By the time the buzzer went off, you were having a full blown panic attack. But you couldn't bring yourself to leave. He won! You had to support him like he supports you.

"GOOD JOB BRUCE!" Your brother screams. Never mind. Fuck this. You stood up quickly, dropping all the things on your lap. "Where are you going?" Your brother asks. "Bathroom." You run to the bathroom to calm yourself down when you hear the doorknob rattle. You try to calm your loud breaths and heaving chest.

"Y/N, sweetheart. Are you in here?" You hear your boyfriend ask. "Yeah! Just, fixing my makeup!" "Well, we won!" "I know! I heard." "Are you sure you're ok? You sound a little off." "I'm fine, Bruce"

You heard him walk away, leave for about 5 minutes and come back. Then the lock on the door opened and in he walked.

"Darling why're you crying?" "Just a little anxious." "You can talk to me. Please tell me what's wrong." After 15 minutes of him prying, you finally told him. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've helped you through it!" "I didn't want you to look at me different." "I wouldn't look at you different. Everyone has problems."

"I love you, my little cheerleader." "I love you too, B."

Vance Hopper

You were at the Grab N Go while Vance was playing pinball. You turned to walk to get a soda when you heard a loud crash.

"Vance!" You said, dropping your soda and running over to Vance, who was punching a guy in the face. "Stop! What is wrong with you?!' Everyone was looking at you. Why were they looking at you. Oh shit. You yelled at Vance.

You ran out of the gas station and ran home, in the middle of a panic attack. Not because you were scared of Vance. You weren't at all. You didn't like all the people watching you.

As you walked in your room, you heard your window sliding open.

It was Vance. "What the fuck was that? Why'd you run out like that?" As he started bombarding you with questions, you started to get stressed out.

"Vance, I struggle with social anxiety and depression. I love you but please, stop yelling at me." He was quiet for a minute and did nothing.

You walk over to Vance and you give him a hug. Not for him, but because you needed one. Even if he didn't like them.

To your surprise, he hugged you back.

"I love you, my shorty." "I love you too, V."

Billy Showalter

You were at the skatepark with your boyfriend, Billy. You were a little embarrassed because you weren't the best at skating. But Billy was good at rollar skating and he wanted to teach you.

You didn't know how. Let's just say, you sucked.

As you fell for the 5th time, you stood up and skated off. Terribly. You pulled the skates off and ran to the bathroom as Billy was right behind you.

He walked in the bathroom with you, locking the door behind him. "What's wrong, pretty girl?" "I can't do it, Bill! I suck!" "No you don't. You just haven't learned how yet. You'll get better!"

"No I won't! Everyone was watching me and-" Billy stood shocked as you started to cry. I mean, he knew you were human, but he's never seen you cry. You were the type of person to crack a joke in sad times. Like either laugh or cry type of person. (Me)

"Oh baby doll." Billy said, scooping you up and holding you like a baby. You just cried into his shoulder. You don't know how long you cried. It could've been for 5 minutes, it could've been for hours but when you stopped, Billy waited for you to be ready to talk.

"Bill?" "Yeah?" "I have social anxiety and depression. Its why I walked off and gave up. I felt embarrassed that I kept falling." "It's ok. Nobody is watching you. They're focusing on themselves. Not you." "Ok." You said with a sniffle.

"I love you, joker." "I love you too, Bill."

This was three days late, I know. I'm sorry but look how long this monster is!

Love y'all! :) -Kaylin

Fic #1 out of #23.

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heybaetae · 5 months

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alright, his letter really got me.

if i can get kinda personal really quick—which i usually avoid doing too much—i promise it’s warranted if you feel like reading to the end of this post in which i’m about to share some things about a deeply painful experience i went through this year and am still enduring the weight of. if you follow me closely enough, you probably know what i’m referring to…

before i do though, i want to mention how truly mind blowing it is that someone who already means a lot to you can somehow keep becoming more and more important as time goes on without even doing much, really, just by being there. since the start of the year, i have not been in the best mental state. i suffer from anxiety and depression which causes me to have a really tough time sleeping and it’s only gotten worse over the months.

i cannot stress enough how many times jungkook lifted my spirit and my mood on some of my worst days/nights since he started doing his frequent weverse lives. it sounds bleak to say because it is, but he was one of the only constant sources of light in my life this year. i can’t tell you how many times it felt like whenever i was feeling my lowest or was riddled with dread about something, i’d suddenly get a notif that he was live. like he’d just pop up when i’d need a distraction the most. even if it was a temporary relief, it would often help take my mind off of things and sometimes it was the only time i’d smile or laugh in an entire week. he was already such a comforting person to me, but it was only amplified every time he went live seeking the same feeling and i quickly found a lot of solace in the thought that we both seeked a familiar warmth for a while. i think a lot of people felt the same. i was seriously getting though the first half of the year thanks to the music the members were releasing and jk’s lives. that’s it. not much else was driving me forward.

then june 11th happened. that morning, i was woken up by my mom telling me my older sister was unresponsive in the hospital. i won’t go into specifics of what happened, but i ended up spending the whole day at home alone while the rest of my family rushed to the hospital. i couldn’t go with them. i knew i wasn’t going to be able to handle it and that made me feel absolutely riddled with guilt. instead, i spent hours in bed just waiting for text updates of what was going on, but they were few and far between. all i’d been told was that they were going to turn her life support off at some point in the day and i hadn’t heard anything after that for a few hours, so i didn’t know if it had happened yet or not for what felt like ages. i felt totally in the dark.

so i was laying there feeling numb, not doing anything but trying to reconcile with losing a sibling so soon and staring at my phone, willing news to come through but also praying it would stay silent. in my denial, silence meant what was happening wasn’t actually happening.

then that 🌟 JK live notif came through out of no where and i felt my heart literally stutter because there was just no fucking way. this was the first time i’d ever gotten that notif at that hour in my timezone. he rarely did morning lives, what on earth could he be doing? why now? why why why?

absolutely nothing in that moment was more important than my sister and what my family was experiencing, but there was literally nothing that i or anyone could do. i was helpless and unable to process the million thoughts and questions running through my head. in my desperate need for that familiar comfort, that distraction, i eagerly clicked the notif and was faced with those big, ridiculous brown eyes blinking at me sideways over the top of a blanket in his bed too. “you can’t be serious,” i said to my screen out loud and then i fucking laughed. incredulously, in disbelief, in amusement, in horror, in grief, in happiness, all of the above.

“how did you know?” i wanted to sob, but all i could do was keep laying there, practically comatose (for lack of a better word), as i watched who had steadily become what felt like my closest and dearest friend across the ocean tell me he wanted company falling asleep. it almost felt like a sick joke the universe was playing on me. like hey, you need a distraction from something really bad happening and it’s not gonna change a thing and it’s parasocial as fuck, but it’s literally the only thing that’s been working so far up until this point aka the lowest point. so here he is, the booooy.

anyway, he fell asleep. i finally rested my eyes. my thoughts calmed down for a brief while. frankly, at the risk of sounding insane, i felt like i was being looked after. supported? no, he had no clue. he was in dreamland and his arm was twitching. he hadn’t even said much after the first few minutes and once he passed out, all that mattered until it would inevitably be cut off was the fact that he was just… there.

my sister passed away not too long after the live was turned off. i wasn’t told until a couple hours later, but the fact is this: in the hour leading up to it, i was successfully distracted and i was comforted. of course, it didn’t last long but it had helped me in the moment i most needed it (again, but x10000) and i am forever in jungkook’s debt for those last few moments of solitude before my entire year was flipped on a permanent axis that day. i’m with one less sister and the grief has been insurmountable.

so i just wanna say if it’s seemed like i’ve been leaning a bit more on jungkook than usual this year, this is why. he’s just been an angel for me, quite literally. it’s also why i refuse to entertain any messages i receive slandering him for whatever reason or accusing me of favoring him over anyone else lately when that’s just not the case. i’m just trying to get by. i’m channeling my grief into my content, my creations, and in doing so, i am channeling my love and appreciation into what is getting me through it the most. so it’s a waste of time to twist it into something it isn’t and i’ll only ever give you a pity laugh and move on. none of the kpop industry jargon that people get mad about these days matters to me at all and life is too short to waste being angry about shit you can’t control. you don’t know what people are going through and you don’t know what someone means to someone else or why. so put your energy towards things that make you happy instead. you’ll feel better. i never owed an explanation, but there it is if you’ve been looking for one.

to wrap this up, i didn’t think i’d ever write any of this down and i could probably write essays just as long as this one for all the other members and what they did for me this year too. it’s going to be incredibly hard to see them go. my ult bias for-fucking-ever, my taehyung, i simply do not know how i’m going to get through my days without him. i just can’t picture or fathom it and i don’t fucking want to. he’s my favorite person in the world. i will be so empty with him gone. there are no words for how painful it’ll be so i’m not even gonna try to find them. my sweet jimin who also brings so much comfort and hilarity into my life, i simply cannot stomach the thought of him going away. my dear namjoon who i swear to god yanks my ass back up above water when i feel like i’m drowning in my feelings and inspires me to be better, what the hell am i gonna do? i’m already spiraling without yoongi’s tranquility. and of course, jungkook, who you now know has just been an incredibly special presence in my life this year. someone i’ve learned so much from, laughed with, cried with, eaten with, rested with, who showed up for me over and over and over and has no idea the impact he had, how grateful i am. i’ll never be able to thank him. thank you thank you thank you for being there for me. thank you all the members for fucking being there for me literally all the time.

this sucks! this sucks but i’m gonna power through it with the rest of you. i’m gonna try.

#tw death #turning reblogs off bc it’s just too personal to let circulate #but thank you for reading it you did

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