#Tess Thompson | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

galathynius · 1 year

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2023 reading log

the uncensored picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde / jan. 2-9 / 4 stars

buzz saw: the improbable story of how the washington nationals won the world series by jesse dougherty / jan. 9-11 / 4.5 stars

proposal by meg cabot / jan. 17 / 3 stars

sidelined: sports, culture, and being a woman in america by julie dicaro / jan. 12-17 / 4 stars

remembrance by meg cabot / jan. 18-19 / 3 stars

how sweet it is by dylan newton / jan. 19-20 / 3 stars

daughters of sparta by claire heywood / jan. 21-22 / 3 stars

highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert / jan. 22 / 4 stars

gentlemen prefer blondes: the diary of a professional lady by anita loos / jan. 23-26 / 3 stars

hell bent by leigh bardugo / jan. 26-31 / 4 stars

all about love: new visions by bell hooks / jan. 22-31 / 4 stars

daisy jones & the six by taylor jenkins reid / jan. 31-feb. 2 / 4 stars

everything i know about love: a memoir by dolly alderton / feb. 2-9 / 4 stars

emma by jane austen / feb. 11-19 / 4 stars

fake it till you bake it by jamie wesley / feb 19-23 / 3.5 stars

my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell / feb. 23-26 / 4 stars

throttled by lauren asher / feb. 26-28/ 2 stars

the locker room by meghan quinn / mar. 1-5 / 1 star

come as you are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life by emily nagoski / feb. 17-mar. 5 / 4.5 stars

pucked by helena hunting / mar. 5-11 / 3 stars

legendborn by tracy deonn / mar 12-23 / 4.5 stars

unadulterated something by m.j. duncan / mar. 23-25 / 4 stars

the fifth season by n.k. jemisin / mar. 26-apr. 15 / 4 stars

how to fake it in hollywood by ava wilder / apr. 16-19 / 3.5 stars

sharp objects by gillian flynn / apr. 19-22 / 4 stars

the homewreckers by mary kay andrews / apr. 22-25 / 3.5 stars

the kiss curse by erin sterling / apr. 25-26 / 3.5 stars

the wedding crasher by mia sosa / apr. 26-27 / 3 stars

let’s get physical: how women discovered exercise and reshaped the world by danielle friedman / mar. 25-apr. 27 / 4 stars

mile high by liz tomforde / apr. 27-may 6 / 1.5 stars

happy place by emily henry / may 6-7 / 5 stars

carrie soto is back by taylor jenkins reid / may 7 / 4 stars

the spanish love deception by elena armas / may 8 / 2 stars

neon gods by katee robert / may 8-9 / 1 star

love in the time of serial killers by alicia thompson / may 9-11 / 4 stars

the bodyguard by katherine center / may 11 / 4 stars

the intimacy experiment by rosie danan / may 11-12 / 3 stars

upgrade by blake crouch / may 12-13 / 4 stars

by any other name by lauren kate / may 13 / 3 stars

the dead romantics by ashley poston / may 15-17 / 4 stars

the ballad of songbirds and snakes by suzanne collins / may 19-28 / 3.5 stars

so many ways to lose: the amazin’ true story of the new york mets—the best worst team in baseball by devin gordon / may 13-jun. 4 / 4 stars

iron widow by xiran jay zhao / jun. 5-7 / 3 stars

the grace year by kim liggett / jun. 7-8 / 4 stars

the last magician by lisa maxwell / jun. 9-11 / 4.5 stars

little fires everywhere by celeste ng / jun. 12-14 / 4 stars

not a happy family by shari lapena / jun. 14-17 / 2.5 stars

the familiars by stacey halls / jun. 17-21 / 3 stars

the girls i’ve been by tess sharpe / jun. 21-22 / 3.5 stars

once more with feeling by elissa sussman / jun. 23 / 3 stars

the cheat sheet by sarah adams / jun. 24-25 / 1 star

how to sell a haunted house by grady hendrix / jun. 26-29 / 3 stars

little thieves by margaret owen / jul. 1-3 / 4.5 stars

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone / jul. 3-6 / 3 stars

the very secret society of irregular witches by sangu mandanna / jul. 11-12 / 4 stars

the lies of locke lamora by scott lynch / jul. 13-27 / 4.5 stars

seven days in june by tia williams / jul. 28-30 / 4 stars

bloodmarked by tracy deonn / jul. 31-aug. 2 / 4 stars

something wilder by christina lauren / aug. 3-4 / 3 stars

howl’s moving castle by diana wynne jones / aug. 4-5 / 4 stars

dark matter by blake crouch / aug. 12-13 / 3 stars

eat up! food, appetite, and eating what you want by ruby tandoh / jul. 30-aug. 14 / 4 stars

the silent companions by laura purcell / aug. 5-18 / 4 stars

mr. wrong number by lynn painter / aug. 19-20 / 2 stars

romantic comedy by curtis sittenfeld / aug. 20-21 / 4 stars

the last tale of the flower bride by roshani chokshi / aug. 21-23 / 4 stars

the hating game by sally thorne / aug. 23-25 / 2 stars

lessons in chemistry by bonnie garmus / aug. 25-26 / 2.5 stars

the godparent trap by rachel van dyken / aug. 27 / 2 stars

i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy / aug. 27-29 / 4 stars

the atlas six by olivie blake / aug. 29-sep. 9 / 3 stars

wordslut: a feminist guide to taking back the english language by amanda montell / sep. 1-9 / 4 stars

practice makes perfect by sarah adams / sep. 10-11 / 3 stars

all systems red by martha wells / sep. 13-14 / 3 stars

do i know you? by emily wibberly and austin siegemund-broka / sep. 14-16 / 4 stars

same time next summer by annabel monaghan / sep. 17 / 3.5 stars

Ounder the influence by noelle crooks / sep. 18-22 / 4 stars

burn for me by ilona andrews / sep. 22-23 / 4 stars

the littlest library by poppy alexander / sep. 24 / 3 stars

the neighbor favor by kristina forest / sep. 25-27 / 3 stars

satisfaction guaranteed by karelia stetz-waters / sep. 28-oct. 5 / 3 stars

the ex talk by rachel lynn solomon / oct. 5-7 / 4 stars

change of plans by dylan newton / oct. 8-9 / 2 stars

coraline by neil gaiman / oct. 9 / 4 stars

you, again by kate goldbeck / oct. 9-11 / 3 stars

mrs. caliban by rachel ingalls / oct. 12 / 3 stars

summer sons by lee mandelo / oct. 12-19 / 4 stars

the death of jane lawrence by caitlin starling / oct. 19-24 / 3 stars

house of hollow by krystal sutherland / oct. 25-29 / 4 stars

white hot by ilona andrews / oct. 28-nov. 2 / 4.5 stars

twice shy by sarah hogle / nov. 4-5 / 3 stars

sexed up: how society sexualizes us, and how we can fight back by julia serano / nov. 2-10 / 4 stars

artificial condition by martha wells / nov. 11-14 / 4 stars

wildfire by ilona andrews / nov. 14-16 / 4.5 stars

between a fox and a hard place by mary frame / nov. 18 / 3 stars

revolting prostitutes: the fight for sex workers’ rights by molly smith and juno mac / nov. 18-20 / 4 stars

emily wilde’s encyclopaedia of faeries by heather fawcett / nov. 21-24 / 4.5 stars

love and other words by christina lauren / nov. 24-25 / 3 stars

the boyfriend candidate by ashley winstead / nov. 26 / 3.5 stars

the seven year slip by ashley poston / nov. 27-28 / 5 stars

how to fall out of love madly by jana casale / dec. 3-10 / 3 stars

ordinary monsters by j.m. miro / dec. 10-21 / 3 stars

rogue protocol by martha wells / dec. 22-23 / 4 stars

what you wish for by katherine center / dec. 25 / 3 stars

the blonde identity by ally carter / dec. 25-26 / 2.5 stars

just my type by falon ballard / dec. 26-31 / 2 stars

#belatedly jumping on this trend don’t mind me #trying to inject some life back into this blog #allison’s reading log

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weirdesplinder · 1 year

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Emerson Pass romance

Vi segnalo l’uscita del sesto libro della serie romance storica EMERSON PASS di Tess Thompson, ambientata in America ai primi del Novecento. Se eravate fan della Signora del west e telefilm simili, non potete perdervela.

Libri che la compongono:

1. Una maestra per Emerson Pass

Link: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/B09FP2QSZH/

Trama: Colorado, 1910. Quinn Cooper non può fare a meno di sentirsi a disagio. Ma assicurarsi un lavoro come maestra in una piccola città di frontiera lasciando la sua famiglia a Boston era l’unico modo per salvarli dalla fame. E la sua agitazione aumenta quando un colpo di pistola vagante spaventa i cavalli della slitta, gettandola nella neve… finché non viene salvata da un affascinante sconosciuto. Lord Alexander Barnes sa bene che non può aspettarsi che una donna giovane e bella sia disposta a diventare madre di cinque bambini. Ma il solitario vedovo si ritrova affascinato dalla nuova arrivata e dal bel rapporto che instaura con la sua prole. E dopo che la loro burbera tata dà le dimissioni, gli si intenerisce il cuore quando Quinn assume con gioia quel ruolo. Determinata a dare buona prova di sé come maestra e come governante, Quinn teme che la sua povertà impedisca al ricco lord inglese di corteggiarla. E tra la differenza d’età e la violenza a sfondo razzista in città, Lord Barnes è certo di non poter avere questa seconda possibilità di felicità. Il loro amore rimarrà inespresso, o la loro perseveranza li ricompenserà con una passione duratura?

2. Lettere da Emerson Pass

Link: https://www.amazon.it/Lettere-Emerson-Historical-Italian-Editions-ebook/dp/B09J4571V1/

Trama: Colorado, 1919. Josephine Barnes scrive ogni giorno al suo adorato fidanzato che combatte tra le trincee della Grande Guerra. Devastata dal dolore quando viene ucciso in combattimento, giura di non sposarsi mai e nasconde la disperazione dedicandosi alla costruzione della prima biblioteca della città. Ma rimane senza fiato quando un gentiluomo cortese le scrive chiedendole di farle visita per restituirle le lettere contenenti le sue dichiarazioni d’amore. Philip Baker è sopravvissuto alla guerra ma è tornato a casa gravato da un angosciante segreto. Anche se sa che è sbagliato, non riesce a smettere di leggere i bellissimi sentimenti lasciati tra i beni del commilitone ucciso. Seppur tormentato dal senso di colpa, non riesce a resistere alla tentazione di contattare la donna straordinaria che gli ha catturato il cuore con le sue parole. Quando Josephine invita Philip a unirsi alla sua estroversa famiglia per le feste natalizie, si sente combattuta tra la lealtà verso un fantasma e i crescenti sentimenti per l’uomo galante che sembra conoscerla da una vita. E quando Philip si prepara a rischiare tutto dicendole la verità sul defunto fidanzato, teme di poter distruggere per sempre la felicità di Josephine.

3. Il medico di Emerson Pass Link di acquisto Amazon: https://www.amazon.it/medico-Emerson-Historical-Italian-Editions-ebook/dp/B09J44NVZQ/

Trama: Lei si strugge per un altro. Lui è perseguitato da oscuri ricordi. Quando la tragedia li spinge a un matrimonio di convenienza, potrà mai sbocciare qualcosa di più dolce? Colorado, 1921. Louisa Keller è innamorata. E sebbene l’oggetto del suo affetto non abbia alcun interesse per lei, spera di attirare il suo sguardo in qualche modo. Ma quando suo padre adottivo muore e sua madre ha bisogno di una costosa operazione, la giovane donna, rimasta improvvisamente al verde, accetta con riluttanza una proposta di matrimonio… del fratello gemello dell’uomo dei suoi sogni. Theo Barnes ha finalmente la sua occasione. Innamorato della figlia adottiva del pastore fin da quando era bambino, da vero gentiluomo si offre di sposarla per salvarla dall’indigenza. E anche se lei gli assicura che non consumerà mai i loro voti, l’ex soldato di fanteria si ostina a sperare che ha solo bisogno di tempo per conquistare il suo cuore. Commossa dalla gentilezza del suo nuovo marito, Louisa scopre un’imprevista affinità con Theo. Ma soffrendo ancora di sindrome post-trauma dopo gli orrori visti sui campi di battaglia in Europa e conoscendo i sentimenti che sua moglie nutre per suo fratello, Theo fatica a credere che avrà mai il suo lieto fine. Riusciranno due anime straziate a trovare un modo per curare le reciproche ferite?

4. La ribelle di Emerson Pass

Link: https://amzn.to/3uoRyz3

Trama: Cymbeline Barnes aveva proclamato Viktor Olofsson il suo arcinemico quando erano bambini. Ma quando il giovane salva la sua amata sorella, lei inizia a vederlo come un eroe. Eppure, non riesce ad abbandonare l’idea che il suo destino la stia aspettando da qualche altra parte nel mondo. Viktor Olofsson è da sempre innamorato di Cymbeline. Tuttavia, visto che lei continua a respingerlo, si rassegna a prendere in considerazione una nuova arrivata, Emma. Riuscirà Cymbeline a capire cosa vuole veramente nella vita e ad aprirsi all’amore prima che sia troppo tardi?

5. Sette giorni a Natale

Link: https://amzn.to/3H4sAfV

Trama: Flynn Barnes e sua moglie Shannon hanno avuto un matrimonio idilliaco. Finché lei non ha scoperto il pericoloso segreto che lui le aveva tenuto nascosto. Un segreto che minaccia di rovinare il loro matrimonio e la stabilità di una casa felice a discapito delle loro due bambine.

6. La musicista

Link: https://amzn.to/3izp5Uz

Trama: Li Wu ha combattuto i pregiudizi per tutta la vita. Ma si è sempre sentito al sicuro e protetto dall’intenso amore della famiglia Barnes. Se solo l’oggetto del suo desiderio fosse libero di essere suo, andrebbe tutto bene. Rischierà tutto per stare con la persona che ama o le pressioni della società li terranno separati?

#libri romance #tess thompson #west

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allamericansbitch · 1 year

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Hi everyone! Here’s the newest addition to my Creator Shoutout Series (february 5 - february 12)! For info about the series, I explained it in the first post here, but generally, it’s to show appreciate to editors and their creations that i love from the past week. To track this series or look at previous shoutouts, please check out the tag on my blog *creatorshoutouts. Have a great week everyone!

paramore: the news gifset by @userparamore

taylor swift: grammys 2023 red carpet gifset by @rebecca-quin

paramore: after laughter edit by @nerveflip

everything everywhere all at once edit by @mia-goths

taylor swift gifset by @rogerhealey

the last of us: tess and joel gifset by @skyshipper

paramore: the news gifset by @tomlinsun

taylor swift: 12x grammy award winner gifset by @nessa007

the last of us: 1x03 gifset by @richardgrimes

gilmore girls: jess x rory gifset by @reputayswift

taylor swift: grammys 2023 red carpet gifset by @chriswevans

paramore: c'est comme ça edit by @h0peless--soul

the last of us: 1x02 trivia gifset by @manny-jacinto

taylor swift: maroon gifset by @somuchstardust

beyonce: 2023 grammy wins gifset by @auiym

the last of us graphic by @h-f-k

taylor swift: anti-hero gifset by @taylorswifts13

yellowjackets: lottie matthews edit by @chasingfictions

paramore: tour outfits edit by @paramorefold

taylor swift: would’ve could’ve should’ve gifset by @cametotheshowinsd

the last of us: joel miller in 1x04 gifset by @tessas-thompson

succession: you're on your on kid gifset by @sdktrs12

taylor swift: the great war graphic by @cruellesummer

the last of us: kathleen in 1x04 gifset by @peterparkcr

paramore: brand new eyes edit by @paramorefold

taylor swift: midnights music videos gifset by @treacherous

gilmore girls: rory x jess gifset by @roryfolklore

the last of us: 1x04 gifset by @anna-kendricks

taylor swift: concept album edit by @stood-onthecliffside

paramore: after laughter gifset by @userparamore

the last of us: 1x04 gifset by @carlos-reyes

taylor swift gifset by @tayloralison

paramore: this is why gifset by @houseofwolvesv2

the last of us: joel miller gifset by @manny-jacinto

taylor swift: midnight rain gifset by @thatwasthenightthingschanged

paramore: landslide gifset by @paramooreee

wednesday: season one gifset by @tati-gabrielle

taylor swift art by @midnightlie

paramore: the news edit by @yourestillnotfunny

you netflix: joe goldberg in season 4 part one gifset by @chriswevans

taylor swift: midnights + choosing fame over love edit by @beforecivility

paramore: this is why art by @mayathexpsychic

the shining gifset by @acecroft

taylor swift: paris edit by @hightowres

paramore: this is why graphic by @itconsumesyou

you netflix: joe goldberg in season 4 part one gifset by @gownegirl

taylor swift: 2023 grammy headers and icons by @newrcmantlcs

paramore: 2017 vs 2023 gifset by @paramooreee

you netflix: joe goldberg in season 4 part one gifset by @riley-keoughs

taylor swift: would’ve could’ve should’ve edit by @myawesomemixtape

paramore: c'est comme ça gifset by @heroeddiemunson

the last of us: ellie and sam gifset by @maygrant

taylor swift: sad beautiful tragic gifset by @eliorperlman

paramore: figure 8 edit by @lovefortayley

f.r.i.e.n.d.s: monica geller gifset by @sulietsexual

taylor swift: karma gifset by @thatwasthenightthingschanged

the last of us: joel and ellie gifset by @ellie-joel

paramore: the news edit by @lionpaws

stranger things: byers brothers gifset by @kaliprasad

viola davis: egot winner gifset by @achrafshakimi

paramore: this is why graphic by @warpedbyparamore

mean girls: karen smith gifset by @glendoll

the last of us: joel gifset by @avasillva

#*creatorshoutouts

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supermarvelgirl15 · 1 year

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The Reason I Hold On

Summary: “Not really sure how to feel about it, Somethin’ in the way you move Makes me feel like I can't live without you. It takes me all the way, I want you to stay.” You and Joel both struggle with what you're feeling. You just want him to stay, but he doesn't want to lose you.

Pairing: Joel Miller × f!reader

Word Count: 4,820

Warnings: Gun tw, blood tw, alcohol tw, angst, violence, kidnapping, intimate thoughts and actions

A/N: This was inspired by the scene with Tess and Noah Thompson's cover of Stay. I dove a bit deeper with my characterization of Joel, but I don't really like it jskskakak. It's sort of a mixture of his personality from the show and the game. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy! Protective Joel my beloved 🫶🏼

Main Masterlist

××××××

It was just a simple dropoff. Nothing too complicated, or dangerous for that matter. All you had to do was place the pills in the spot, pick up the ration cards that were already there, and go home. Easy.

Joel didn't see it that way though.

“I told you to wait on me.” Joel's grip on the back of the chair threatened to break the old wood in pieces as he stared at you. His gaze was enough to make anybody squirm uncomfortably, but it didn't affect you whatsoever.

You seat yourself on top of his kitchen counter, reaching for his golden whiskey. “You were passed out. It needed to happen before nightfall, so I did it. No harm, no foul,” you shrugged, pouring the drink into a glass.

Joel released the chair and crossed the room, taking the glass out of your hand right before you could take a sip. “Hey!”

“This isn't yours,” Joel stated, setting it on the counter. You tried to protest again, but he stopped you. “And this isn't a game. You pull that shit again and you're out.” His gaze never once left you, as if he was challenging you to argue.

Your eyes hardened as you pushed yourself off the counter, getting as close to him as possible. “You couldn't make it a day in this business without me, cowboy. So don't make threats you don't intend to keep,” you roughly poked your finger into his chest.

Placing both hands on either side of you on the counter, Joel caged you in as his breathing picked up. You watched as he fought himself on the inside, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. It was then that you realized what this was all about.

You lowered your voice as you spoke next. “If this is about the other night...”

Joel immediately backed up, placing his hands on his hips as he turned away from you. He shook his head as a ragged breath wracked his body.

The glass of whiskey was needed even more as you grabbed it once again, this time taking a generous sip out of it. Your nose turned up as the liquid burned your throat. You looked back to Joel to see him pacing.

“I don't know what you want me to do, Joel. It was the heat of the moment, and I may or may not have read it wrong, but we can't keep doing,” you paused to gesture between the two of you, “whatever this is.”

Joel's eyes met yours again, but you couldn't tell what he was holding in them. Eyes were windows into the soul, someone once told you, but you don't think either you or Joel had a soul left to even see a glimpse. There were times where you could read him like a book, and there were times where he was a brick wall, this being one of them. You hated it. It just reminded you that you don't know him like you think you do, even though you desperately wanted to.

“It was nothin’,” Joel finally spoke and you couldn't help the stab of pain that you felt in your heart.

Oh, it was so much more than nothing.

Joel had just come home from another day of working FEDRA jobs to find you sitting in a chair by the window, lost in your own world. You had your own place with Tess, but he found you most often in here than he ever did there.

Once he shut the door closed behind him, you immediately straightened up, wiping under your eyes. Joel felt a pang of concern course through him, his legs moving him closer to you before his mind even had a say so.

He groaned quietly as he squatted down in front of you, a hand on your knee to keep him balanced–not an excuse he made up in his mind so he could feel your warmth under his palm. “You okay?” He grunted out, taking in the tear stains that you tried to rub away.

It took a few seconds, but you finally met his eyes with a tired smile. “Yeah. Just got stuck up here for a bit,” you replied as you tapped your temple. You placed your hand over his, squeezing it before standing up. “You get enough ration cards today?”

Joel nodded as he stood up as well, his knees screaming at him to stop. “Got what we need for the pick up.” Another groan left his lips when he stretched his arm out, your eyebrow raised in question as you looked at him. “Pulled somethin’.” He told you, sitting down in one of the chairs in the kitchen.

You handed Joel an already poured glass of his whiskey as you came up behind him. He had taken a sip out of it before he tensed up completely as your thumb dug into his shoulder, going around in circles. “Relax,” you whispered in his ear, massaging his aching shoulder.

His eyes closed tightly as you worked his shoulder, your fingers like magic against his muscles. There was just something about the way you touched him, something that made it hard for him to concentrate on anything else.

He knew he couldn't do anything about it, for both of your sakes. Joel had come to terms with it a long time ago. It was safer to keep you and everyone else at an arm's length. If he acted out what he felt deep, deep down, he knew that it would be more than just fulfilling a need. He wanted you.

God, he wanted you. He wanted your skin pressed against his, to see the way you looked beneath him, to memorize every inch of your body. It felt like he had a fever. There was nothing wrong with commiting these lustful acts, he's done so in the past, but he couldn't allow himself to have the pleasure of you. If Joel had just a taste of you, it would be all he craved. So, lingering touches and intimate thoughts would have to do.

You wanted more from him, Joel knew that as well. He could see it in your eyes and feel it in your touch. But he'd rather have you as far away as possible than risk you becoming a part of his curse.

“I can do the pick up in the morning. You could really use the rest.” Your voice brought Joel out of his head, away from the thoughts of you and him.

“No. I'm not sure ’bout this new guy,” Joel said with a shake of his head. He wasn't going to send you to someone that had a strong possibility of literally stabbing you in the back. He'd never put you in harm's way.

Your work on his shoulder paused as you moved around to face him, crossing your arms. “What does that have to do with me?” You questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Joel just looked away from you, not sure how to answer. You knew why, however. You just wanted to hear him say it, but you were more likely to go on a date with a Clicker than hear him admit it. You were starting to get tired of it.

You threw your hands up in the air, a sigh falling past your lips. “I wish you would show me something for once,” you admitted. You wanted to stop running in circles, you needed to know.

Joel's eyes met yours then, his jaw clenching as they drifted down to your lips. When his eyes came back up to yours, that's when you saw it.

If you dared, come a little bit closer.

Before Joel could fully register what was happening, your lips crashed onto his and that was all it took for his barricade to break. He pulled you with him as he stood up to fully meet you, your fingers getting caught in his unruly hair.

His hands made their way to your hips, pulling you firmly against him. You tasted even better than he could have ever imagined and he couldn't get enough of it. Joel only pulled away for a second to give you both a chance to breathe before his lips found the sweet spot on your neck, your gasp like music to his ears.

The two of you moved as if you had rehearsed, two puzzle pieces slotting perfectly together for the first time. Neither one of you dared to leave the other's embrace even as Joel slowly guided you to his bed, your hands moving quickly to unbutton his shirt.

The sight of you beneath him affected Joel just as he thought it would, making him quicken his actions. You moved so beautifully with him. There was just something about it that made him feel something that he hadn't felt in decades. You reignited a flame that he thought was extinguished forever. Oh, how could he live without you?

He can't live without you.

Without a warning, Joel ripped himself away from you, stumbling backwards. You sat up immediately, concern written all over your features. Joel's eyes danced all around the room, not daring even a glance at you.

He swallowed thickly before speaking. “I... I need to wash up.” With that he retreated to his bathroom, not sparing you another look. You continued to sit there, your mind working a mile a minute trying to figure out what you did wrong.

Joel still found it hard to look at you now, the memory of you so, so close to him easing its way out from where he tried to repress it in his mind. He made a mistake, one that he wasn't going to make again.

You, on the other hand, were through with pretending like it never happened. “This isn't much of a life you're living. You have to make up your mind on what you want, Joel,” you told him, your voice as even as you could manage. ”You can't ignore me one day and then go on about protecting me the next. You have to decide.” You were both adults, it was time to start acting like it.

Silence surrounded the both of you as you waited for Joel to say anything. You felt like the air was choking you, the anticipation slowly killing you. Joel opened his mouth and you prepared to hear what you were dreading to, but he was stopped by Tess opening the door.

“Apparently the Fireflies bombed another...” Tess started but trailed off once she saw the both of you. Even she could feel the tense atmosphere that filled the entire apartment. “Am I interrupting something?” She questioned, looking between you and Joel.

You looked over at Joel, trying to meet his eye, but he just wouldn't have it. Your hands clenched at your sides as you took a deep breath. “I was just leaving,” was all you said before you pushed yourself by Tess and out the door.

As you leaned against the wall outside the door, you could hear Tess say, “what the hell did you do now?” A shaky breath passed your lips as you ran a hand over your face. You couldn't hear what Joel had to say, not anymore. You desperately needed to escape, so instead of heading to your own apartment, you just made your way outside.

The moment you took a couple steps outside, however, you were grabbed from behind, a hand covering your mouth. You didn't even have a chance to fully react before something was slammed against your temple and the world faded to black.

✻ ✻ ✻

Water being thrown on your face woke you up with a gasp. You could feel blood drip into your eye mixed with the water, but when you tried to reach for it, you realized your hands were tied behind your back. You did your best to push yourself up on your knees with a groan, taking in your surroundings.

The only source of light came from the early morning sun through a window in the small room. You didn't recognize the man that threw the bucket of water on you, or the one that stood in the corner with a gun. What did they want with you?

“Are you just gonna stand there with a stick up your asses or are you going to enlighten me on why the hell I'm here?” You spoke up, looking between the men. Neither of them looked like they were running whatever this was, so you could use that to your advantage.

The one that had the bucket dropped it, squatting down to roughly grab your face with his hand. “You're gonna have to lose that smartass mouth, sweetheart,” he warned you, squeezing your face tightly. You spat on him, making him recoil immediately. Anger filled his eyes as he wiped his face.

“You bitch!” He shouted at you before punching your face. You grunted as you fell backwards against the concrete. A laugh bubbled out of your mouth, despite the pain your jaw was currently going through. The man didn't like that obviously, and he yanked you back up. “What the hell are you laughing at?!”

You spat some blood out your mouth before turning to face him with a bloody smile. “My great-grandmother hits harder than you,” you answered him with a smirk.

That earned you another punch to your face, not helping your forming headache. A knife was placed against your neck, the man's teeth bared in your face. “Say another word, you little whore.” His threat didn't deter you as you continued to smile at him. He wouldn't do it.

“Knock it off, Rodriguez. Hank's gonna kill your ass if you kill her now,” the man with the gun finally came forward, shoving the knife away from your throat. Rodriguez gave you another death glare before he backed off fully, putting his knife away.

The mention of Hank finally dawned in your mind, your predicament making more sense. “So that's what all this is about? You can tell Hank that I did my part on our deal,” you said, sitting up straighter. “I left the pills right where we agreed on.” There wasn't any reason for this to be happening.

The man with the gun kneeled in front of you then. “There was only one bag. The deal was for two,” he reminded you. He tipped your chin up with the barrel of his gun, making you grit your teeth together. “Just give us the second bag and we'll send you on your way.” He made it sound all so simple, but you knew better.

You yanked your head away from him, leaning back to where your hands could reach your boot. “I know the deal was for two. However, only half of the agreed upon amount of ration cards were there. You pay for half, you get half. That's how business works, ‘sweetheart,’” you informed him, spitting more blood out your mouth. The man glared at you, standing back up, heading back to his designated corner. Your eyebrows furrowed together in question, but your internal inquiry was answered by the sound of movement outside.

The door opened, revealing Hank himself. “Well, I for one, know how this business works,” he spoke to you, your eyes watching his hand that laid on top of his holster. “So, this is how this is going to play out,” he began to pace in front of you, “you're going to go get the second bag I was promised. Then, once it's in my possession, we'll pretend this whole ordeal never happened, and I'll let you go. Or–”

“Or,” you cut in, ”you give me the other half of the cards that you owe, and we can just go on our merrily way.” Your fingers finally grabbed the hilt of your knife, and slowly pulled it out, keeping your eyes on him.

Hank laughed, the sound agonizing to your headache. “You think you can just–”

He cut himself off as he suddenly stopped in front of you. Hank slowly crept towards you, as if he was approaching a wild dog. You grunted as he grabbed your face, angling it so it was more in the light that poured in from the window. His eyes widened then, dropping your face as if you had just burned him.

“Shit. Shit!” Hank yelled out, kicking the bucket across the room as his hands worried through his hair. “We're dead. We're ’effin dead!”

Rodriguez and the other man exchanged a worried look. “What are you talking about?” Rodriguez questioned, stepping closer to Hank. You took this moment to start cutting the rope that held your wrists together, watching them closely.

Hank looked at his men with a look mixed with anger and horror, gesturing to you. “That's Miller's girl, you bastards! The moment he sees her, we're dead. You idiots!” He continued cursing to himself, his pacing picking up.

Since when were you known as “Miller's girl?”

The news seemed to throw the other men into a frenzy, an argument breaking out amongst them. “How were we supposed to know that was his bitch? You told us it was just a mule!” The gun man shouted at Hank, pointing his finger at him.

“It was supposed to be!” Hank yelled back, throwing his hands up. The ropes fell from your wrists, but you stayed still. You needed a plan. One where you didn't end up dead.

“We can't send her back. He'll come straight for us.” Hank started thinking aloud, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can't keep her. He finds her with us, we're better off dead.”

You never realized how scared people were of Joel. Yes, you knew he was a dangerous man, everyone reached that point in their lifetime, especially in this reality. But they talked as if he was the devil's executioner. Maybe he was.

Rodriguez nods, pulling his knife back out. “So we kill her,” he speaks up, causing a look of horror to flash across Hank's face. “Then we dump her body outside the QZ. He doesn't have reason to believe we have anything to do with her little disappearing act. We're in the clear.” Rodriguez wore a smug look, like he just solved the cure for mankind. With the way the other two looked at him, it was just as good.

You yourself had to admit it was somewhat a decent plan. They, however, didn't know yours.

“There's just one problem with that,” you said, quickly earning their attention. You motioned with your head for Hank to come closer. He shares a look with his men before stepping towards you. You dropped your head, watching as Hank's hand fell from his holster. “Miller's not the one you should be concerned about.”

Hank squatted down, leaning in closely. “Who?” He asked urgently. You couldn't help the smirk that fell across your lips at the tremble in his voice.

“Me.”

In a swift movement, you banged your head against his face, using his pain as a distraction to pull his gun out of his holster. You stood up, taking Hank with you as a shield, the gun pointed at his head.

The gun man held his own up at you, Rodriguez gripping his knife tightly in his fist. Hank continued to yell in pain, crying about his broken nose.

“What now?” The gun man questioned. “You shoot him, I shoot you. You don't have a way out of this,” he told you, his finger flexing over the trigger.

Luck seemed to be on your side for the moment as you saw a FEDRA truck come into view just outside the window. You didn't hesitate, firing shots outside the window, immediately alerting the soldiers. You threw Hank towards gun man and darted for the door, reaching it as soon as the soldiers busted in through the window.

You ran as fast as you could, away from your captives, away from FEDRA. The sound of soldiers barking orders started to fade when you made it out the back, the fresh air a delight to your lungs.

Your legs never stopped carrying you as you weaved your way through the town, ignoring the strange looks from the people around you. After all this time, you would think they'd get used to seeing someone bloody and bruised by now.

Once you stepped inside your apartment building, you slid down to the floor with your back against the wall, catching your breath. Everything was hurting. Your face, your head, even your damn legs were starting to ache. You just had to make it to your room. You'd be safe there. Safer than out here at least.

After a few moments, you slowly pushed yourself up and started up the stairs. You had never been so happy to be home, a sigh of relief leaving you as you pushed the door open. Tess wasn't home, and honestly you were glad. You made your way to the bathroom, checking yourself over in the dirty mirror. You had a bruised eye and jaw, but the bruise and deep cut on your temple concerned you the most. If you didn't clean it, there was a chance of infection, and you didn't have time for that.

You went back out to the kitchen, searching the cabinets for alcohol or any sort of first aid. A curse left your lips when you came up empty on both. Of course the one time you really needed it, there was none to be had. At least here. There was a strong chance he wasn't home, and that was a chance you were going to have to make.

His door was locked, so that was a good sign. You clumsily unlocked it, your fingers trembling as the adrenaline started to wear off. Your face was screaming out in pain, begging for something to soothe it.

The bottle was left exactly where it had been last night on the counter, however it was holding a lot less. It'd be enough to clean your wounds, but your mental pains would have to wait.

You were searching his cabinets for anything else when you heard the door open. The sounds of his boots came to a halt just outside the kitchen. You couldn't do this, not now.

“Where the hell have you been?” Joel questioned as you kept your back to him. You shut your eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. Oh, you should've just waited for Tess.

“I've been busy,” you answered quietly, clutching the edge of the counter. Joel scoffed, throwing whatever was in his hands on the table, the sound startling you.

Joel noticed it immediately, his retort dying on his tongue. He slowly came up behind you, grabbing your shoulder gently to turn you towards him. His eyes widened as they took in your face, his hands cupping your face so he could check you over. Anger started bubbling inside him, threatening to spill over when you winced when his thumb ran under your blackened eye.

You grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands away from your face. “I'm okay. I just got jumped by a couple guys, and I handled it,” you tried to explain, but you could tell he wasn't fully hearing you. “It's not that big of a deal.”

“‘Not a big deal?’” Joel shook his head, reaching behind you for a rag in the sink. He poured his alcohol on it and grabbed your face again, lightly dabbing at your cut. “You've got to be shittin’ me,” he grumbled mostly to himself. How could you say that?

Neither of you said anything else as Joel cleaned you up, his hands continuing to be delicate as if you were made out of porcelain. It was moments like this that made it hard to believe that these same hands had taken others’ lives. He was always gentle with you, but you couldn't understand why.

You wanted him. You thought he wanted you, but you didn't know now. Not after the other night. You weren't sure how you should feel anymore. You'd had enough of the back and forth, but a part of you would do anything just to be close to him.

Joel placed a couple butterfly stitches that he found in an old first aid kit over your cut, his hands lingering for a moment as he looked you over again. He was going to tear whoever did this to you apart.

“Who did this to you?” He asked softly, his fist clenching beside him. Joel knew that you knew who it was. There was a reason you didn't say who before.

You sighed, preparing yourself. “Hank's men.” A flash of rage ran across Joel's face, his shoulders rolling back before made his way to his stash under the floorboard. You followed after him, pleading with him to quit. “Joel, stop. FEDRA probably has them by now anyways, don't get involved,” you tried, but he was just a brick wall again.

“I told you to let me handle the damn dropoff.” Joel wasn't listening to you. He pulled out his revolver, checking the ammunition, and then set it down. He didn't care if FEDRA had them or not, Joel was going to kill them.

“Why do you even care?”

Your words stopped Joel's movements, causing him to finally look up at you. You ran your hands over your damaged face, another shaky sigh leaving your lips. “Why are you doing this, Joel?” The question sounded more like a plea, like you were begging him to tell you the truth. Going around and around wasn't going to be enough for you anymore. You needed him to tell you now.

When he refused to answer, you threw your hands up. “I don't know what you want from me, but I can't do it anymore. I tried, God knows I tried to give you what you wanted. You clearly don't want this, so why are you holding on?” You didn't even bother waiting on an answer this time, heading towards the door as tears stung your eyes. He was supposed to be the broken one, but right now you felt like the one that needed saving.

Joel's eyes landed on his watch, the feeling from the other night returning to his stomach. He couldn't lose you too, but he needed this hole gone.

“The reason I hold on,” Joel finally spoke up, stopping you as your hand grabbed onto the handle. You turned back towards him, your heart hammering against your chest. “Is because I do care, more than I should. I just don't... I can't risk draggin’ you down with me.” He released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. It felt foreign to ever say anything like that out loud, let alone to you. You took him all the way. What you were able to do to him scared him. But maybe it was a good thing.

You stood back in front of him now, offering your hand to him. Joel looked up at you, his mind telling him this would end badly, but he would ignore it for now. He grabbed your hand tightly as you helped him up, not letting go even as you continued to look at one another. It was hard to know which one of you were really caving, especially when neither of you could see the light.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, your thumb rubbing circles on his wrist. “What do you want me to do?” Joel asked you, his mind going back to the revolver that sat discarded on the floor beside him.

You gave him a tired smile. “Stay.”

Joel looked at the stitches that decorated your temple, wanting so badly for the one's that dared to do that to you to feel his wrath, but for now, he'd do whatever you wanted. He nodded, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

You lifted his hand up, placing a soft kiss on the back of it before guiding him to his bed. Joel followed closely, climbing in after you, and wrapped his arm around your stomach. He breathed you in as he held you closely, your scent calming him. You still held on to his hand, his warmth lulling you into a sleep that you so desperately needed.

Joel stayed with you until he knew you were sound asleep. He slowly slipped out of the bed after kissing the top of your head and grabbed his revolver off the floor. The sight of you in his bed almost changed his mind, but the bruises that littered your face was enough to push him out the door.

If you saw his bloody knuckles when he came home to you afterwards, you didn't say a word.

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#joel miller × reader #joel miller fic #the last of us fic #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #pedro pascal #troy baker #kay writes

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