#Terry why are so funny

[jelly-o630]

Starting reading Small Gods in the discworld series (my first discworld novel!!!) and although I have read good omens and was slightly familiar with his writing through that, I was COMPLETELY unprepared for just how fucking HILARIOUS Terry Pratchett’s writing is

#I have a hard time holding back my reactions while reading #and I stg every page or so has me letting out a chuckle that is IMPOSSIBLE to hold back #the part about tortoises being pathetic and the nature behind why conspiracies rarely work is so goddamn funny #I’m not even 100 pages in #Terry why are so funny #Terry Prachett #discworld #great god Om #even the seemingly antagonistic characters like Vorbis are hilarious #if I’m not laughing I am at least smiling in delight

[lifelinebooks]

"He didn't look embarrassed because people like Ridcully are never, ever embarrassed about anything, although often people are embarrassed on their behalf."

TERRY 😂😂😂

#Hogfather #terry pratchett #WHY IS HE SO FUNNY #tell me you dont know at least one person like this #discworld #archchancellor ridcully #happy hogswatch

[themoonking]

not to shit on decade old ffn fics but in being nostalgic i've noticed there are a lot of young justice x dcau crossovers from when yj seasons 1-2 were airing that seem like they were written by someone who has never seen a dcau show. like, they're explicitly said by the author to be the dcau. not just any generic justice league, but the dcau (sometimes even specifying around what episode / season!), but there's stuff that directly contradicts dcau canon.

like, the flash will be barry allen, despite the fact that in the dcau the flash is wally west. nine times out of ten, there's some kind of exchange about batman not having a robin and rejecting the idea that he would ever take on a protege, despite the fact that by the jl animated series, dcau batman has two robins and a batgirl. if zatanna is involved, the jl usually says that they don't know her / she doesn't exist, and sometimes this is even said by batman and its like.. bruce! yes you do know her!! you've known her for years!

like i love the concept, i wish there were more dcau x yj crossovers, especially with a s1 yj team (or a yj team a year or so after s1), but a lot of the ones that exist feel like the author watched all of young justice (at the time) but only like. season one of justice league.

#some of the more modern dcau yj crossovers don't really have this problem like they're written by people who know their dcau lore #but the older ones? whats up with that? #like i'd expect the early 2010s fic authors to be MORE familiar with the dcau bc its heyday was a lot more recent #also separate but similar thing a lot of 2010s era yj fanfic seem to have little to know knowledge of dc outside yj in general #its weird. like you couldn't do a little bit of googling? #btw i didn't include the contradiction of ms martian never existing in the dcau in these fics bc she wasnt confirmed until 2019 #so obviously fic writers from 2010-2013 wouldn't know that lmao #but like. zatanna was confirmed to exist in the dcau before superman was!!! #by jl / jl unlimited dick grayson is already nightwing! #sure its not til the series finale but wally west is revealed as the flash IN the show!!! #young justice #i speak #dcau #dc comics #and like the possibility of dcau wally dick zatanna etc interacting w/ their yj counterparts is like. funny. why would you pass that up #i REALLY want a full yj x batman beyond crossover w/ my beloved terry #really i want more time travel / dimension travel aus with terry in them in genreal he's not appreciated enough

[xrosevoidx]

you ever spend time and effort doing something for the bit only to realise literally nobody else will find it funny? yeah

#op #im sorry i giggled the entire time when i was decorating terrys. idk why this shits so funny to me #anyway i put all my cards in the ring binder i got 4 them and it just hit me with so much nostalgia #god i miss moshi monsters. i want my lil cartoon cards again #am i brave enough to put this shit in the main tag? no #stw #wozblr #i would put this in the discord but i dont want j*e r*bertson to see it lmao

[girlwarlock]

tags

#tag novel #feel free to interact just don't be a clown #so I followed that one twitch streamer--the guy who's been dressing as a girl as a bit for like a year bc of twitch goal stuff #but i stopped bc it made me feel sad in a kind of 'why tf can't i get that' kind of way--he's got this whale who donates hundreds or #thousands of dollars per stream and sends him all kinds of gifts to open on stream and all this stuff and i just. i don't want him to not #have the success that he's having but I just want to also have some random insanely wealthy person take an interest like that in me #and all i need to do is look cute and try to be funny on camera. but like this particular whale is prolly doing it as like a kink thing #specifically because the streamer is a cis guy so like. you lose the forcefem aspect when the person you're fem-ing wants it #plus idk the idea of someone seeing such phenomenal success for dressing like a woman specifically as a joke is less goodfeeling to me #in the same kind of way as like. guy in a dress jokes are very uncomfy and are usually enough to turn me off a piece of media #but 'eric idle/terry gilliam/other monty python crew dressed as a woman for a sketch' are more fine because 90% of the time #the joke is completely unrelated to ''he's wearing a dress'' and he's just dressed as a woman bc they're all guys #and the sketch had a female character so someone needs to get in the dress (yes I know they occasionally brought on female extras don't @me #like seriously yesterday he had a stream where he got like $12000 in donations and why can't I get $12000 a day 1-3 times a week? #i'm literally a cute girl and he's just some guy

[jrueships]

gremlin on gremlin violence

#i miss terry true and dear i Do #i so do... #the gremlin on gremlin RAGE #i think hornets should make it to playoffs because terry is funny #there is no other reason #well maybe also that gordon keeps getting hurt and i feel bad for him 😭 #banished to a forever life of gamer chair... #terry's girlboss behavior is so big his malewife has been reduced to shambles #it's not even fair at this point #anyways pictured above is Girlboss(tm) on Girlboss(tm) violence #bottom girlboss behavior (terry) and top girlboss behavior #it's a messy business !!@@ #terry making the three symbol with his under hand... giving trae the option to look at his silly little face or his mock gesture 😭 #he could not have put this energy into doing literally ANYthing else??? #anyways idk why/how just suddenly a wave of rozier hit me #miss him...terrible #scary terry #trae #terry cannot make fun of trae for his hair....... not now.... #he missed his chance prebraids...

[ookaookaooka]

I’m hardly the first person to compare them but Terry Pratchett and J K Rowling really are polar opposites in terms of the way their writing treats weird characters. In Rowling’s writing, any weirdness is there to be laughed at (for example: Professor Trelawney, the fake seer who doesn’t know she’s an actual seer). In Pratchett’s writing, though, the characters’ weirdness is taken 100% seriously and the humor arises organically from the situation itself and is never at the characters’ expense (for example: in Making Money, the man who was born a clown and was never told so until he was 13 years old). In Rowling’s writing, the main characters poke constant fun at Professor Trelawney, making joke predictions and fudging homework and talking about how divination isn’t a legitimate field of study. Even after she gets fired and more or less drops the act, the joke changes to “look at this sad drunk lady” and the main characters express little sympathy. The narrative is saying she’s there to make one real prediction and otherwise she’s only there for comic relief. This sort of thing happens over and over in Rowling’s writing, where any quirkiness is there to be laughed at and the misfortunes of characters we’re not supposed to like are supposed to be funny, and it sends a message of conformity under threat of ridicule. In Pratchett’s writing, the clown man’s story is treated as a great tragedy: imagine growing up not knowing why you are the way you are, and then finding out the truth as a teenager! And knowing that your own mother kept the truth from you! This man was so deeply traumatized by this he denied himself any humor or fun for decades, and when he has a crisis and runs off to become a clown again, he is given support and medical treatment and is welcomed back to his job at the bank and accepted for who he is. The fact that this whole situation is hilarious is secondary. And again, this sort of thing happens over and over again in Pratchett’s writing, where characters’ quirkiness is embraced and often seen as irreplaceable by the end of the book, and it sends a message that our quirks are valuable and weirdness should be acceptable. It just strikes me as a much… kinder approach to people, you know?

#terry pratchett #j k rowling #sorry for the wall of text tumblr wouldn’t let me add a line break that wasn’t a mile long

[neil-gaiman]

Funny story, so my parents were the ones who first introduced me to good omens. They have a first edition hardback copy of the book which has been living in my room as of late.

One day I went into my parents armoire searching for a Terry Pratchett book (all of our books shelves are overflowing, we've had to take desperate measures) and beside the collection of discworld books I spied our copy of good omens. I shrugged and figured they had stolen it back and I just hadn't noticed. Then I walked back into my room and saw the identical copy of good omens sitting on my shelf.

I've asked both of my parents and neither have any clue where this extra copy came from. They are identical, save my mothers name on the inside of the cover of the copy in my room. I don't suppose you have any idea why or how this book spawned in our house?

You aren't the first secretly and mysteriously multiplying Good Omens story I have heard or read here, but i have no explanation. It is probably a Fortean Phenomenon.

#Charles Fort #the book of the damned

[realboutfatalfury]

hmmmm ok that movie was 😐 honestly not good or bad just whatever.

#mmmmm hmmm #tony will never be rock. you will never be rock tony. #um SUCKS that kim showed up at the first part and never again. saddening...... #didn't like that jubei was here.. get that bitch away forever. #the whole terry is scared and drinks a lot thing is quite interesting but he'd never do that. #laurence just dying was hilarious. goodbye forever #axel hawk just showing up too was funny. he was only there to get beaten up. sad. #nice they gave andy his normal hair back.. didn't like the blue from the last ova #joe did a whole lot of nothing except be mean to mai and get beaten up by krauser. #speaking of krauser his design is so. where did his mustache and scar go. #felt like the middle was a whole lot of nothing. idk idk... #just felt bored from beginning to end #and the inclusion of lily was like. why are you even here. tung gave some advice so it's fine #but it just felt so. out of place? idk honestly was expecting jeff ghost to show up not those two but whatever. #ok um tony. as a foil to terry he's alright other than that he is just nothing. sorry kid. you will never heh ''rock'' #ok that's all i have to say about it. lol

[armageddidnt]

Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2

*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits

Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀

Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are

So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon

Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)

Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories

I’m cAckling

So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??

Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk

More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰

Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀

This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show

We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides

Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening

POP goes the Ziraphale

Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT

Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.

Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???

They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh

Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?

So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀

There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…

I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER

Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.

I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now

We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane

Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #my season 2 rewatch aka: I Went Insane #i am unwell #I haven't slept properly in 44 days and counting #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #angel #demon #armageddidnt-blog #armageddidnt-gifset #armageddidnt-screaming #armageddidnt-pain #good omens 2x06

[variousqueerthings]

okay I watched good omens s2 yesterday with my partner, and I was genuinely very surprised -- I think if you've grown up through superwholock/merlin/the 100/teen wolf type shows where (with the exception periodically of doctor who) you kind of had to make up the good show that something could have been in your head, that colours a lot of your viewing, and to be honest I thought season 1 of good omens was a fine little piece, honoured the book while modernising it somewhat, it was a nice, fun, low stakes time, with a couple of things I might have wanted a tad different but nothing overall awful.

so I was seeing all this meta and gifsets and discussion, while I was waiting to give s2 a watch with my partner and thought "ah, people have made up the good show in their heads again" not that I assumed s2 was going to be a bad show, but that people were taking extra deep plunges into possibilities, the way fandom does, and that was fine. I knew there was a big ol kiss, I had a sense of some kind of argument at the end, and that it was setting up a s3

I also knew that mainstream reviews were calling it (politely) self-indulgent and dependent on whether or not you enjoy david tennant and michael sheen having a good time for just under 6 hours

all in all, expectations of a somewhat mainstream show without too much to think about, a nice, fun low stakes time, moving on...

(EDIT: AND THEN I WROTE A LOT OF WORDS SO YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT MY REACTION WAS QUITE DIFFERENT)

as it turns out it seems these things that were being written on tumblr were discussing the actual text of the show and not things you could extrapolate if you squinted and tilted your head a little to the left as I'm so used to doing, so in fact there is much to think about!

and my first thought was "this is like when you read early discworld books that ask a question like a joke, only to find that over time the answer to that question becomes very serious (and also can be funny at times of course)." how terry pratchett would pick and pick at tropes and notions and social ideas and go "oh now hold on, this seems strange..." starting way back when he thought it was odd that women warriors always seemed to be dressed in metal bikinis and then realising he hadn't done a good enough job of subverting the trope, simply by depicting it and calling it a bit silly

why do goblins always get treated as the villains? what's with this divine succession of kings business? where are the female dwarfs? who do we treat as disposable?

good omens season one went: "haha what if heaven and hell were intensely incapable, bureaucratic, corrupt, and uncaring of the work they did, and we took an angel and a demon and had them actually care? wouldn't that be... a bit silly?" (and it was)

good omens season two went: "what are the consequences for caring when the people who have power over you are incapable, bureaucratic, corrupt, and uncaring? what are the forces that supersede systems built on fear, ignorance, and violent conformity? can people change and break out of/challenge/break down these structures by caring?"

and this was set up with a neat little sleight of hand (to reference aziraphale's switch-and-bait in the episode with the nazi zombies), because the majority of season 2 does feel a bit indulgent: hey, remember those two wacky angel-and-demon characters? watch some more wacky things they did through the ages, watch them take a sojourn through 1827 Edinburgh and do a magic show during the Blitz, and... stop the death of Job's and Sitis' children (actually maybe that whole segment ought to have been what they call "A Clue")

see them try to figure out a kooky mystery, all the while setting up a cute little same-gender romance on their street. watch as everything points towards a happy ending that's all about the two of them realising what they've been to one another all these thousands and thousands (and thousands and thousands) of years- but hold on. lest we forget - and the show has made this point over and over - there are powerful people who control them, who hurt them, and who plan on hurting others, throughout the whole season, and as it turns out they know what they've been to one another for far far longer, and know how to pull their strings...

season 2 then, has to show us these things, not because they're indulgent (well, maybe occasionally, but the apology dance is still important), but because in order to make the ending a tragedy, we first need to understand, properly, the impact that they have had on each other. we need to understand that Aziraphale relied heavily on Crowley to be his moral compass and leaned on black-and-white thinking in order to deal with things, because if it's all grey then where does he fit and what has it all meant and heaven has to be the good guys, even as Job's and Sitis' children are ordered to be killed, it's all he ever had...

and Crowley was always an anchor, needed to trust that Aziraphale was different, needed to bend to every whim that Aziraphale has, because otherwise what's his worth in all this? After having been already deemed worthless by the heaven that Aziraphale needs to believe in?

and that, simplistically described, is the narrative that we're seeing in s2, and alongside that the ways that the changes they have upon each other are noticed, and monitored, and placed under suspicion, and finally... broken up, not by the clumsy, brute force that's been attempted over and over again, but by a promise to return into a violent, controlling system and to "make it better from within"

and all of this is wrapped up in two queer relationships + a third queered-within-the-text relationship that creates the inverse of how it ends for Aziraphale and Crowley (so far). queer love -- whatever shape that has -- is explicitly the shape of non-conformity within this narrative, including within the symbolism of angel-and-demon love of Gabriel and Beelzebub, which in the context of the systems created is considered queer (and one can argue till the cats come home about casting cis actors, about angel-and-demon notions of gender/romance/sexuality, but the "queerness" comes from building something non-conforming to the systems they exist in), and enforced by the explicitly our-world-definition-of queer romance that Nina and Maggie have going on (which, while less high stakes, still contains the background controlling relationship that Nina initially is in)

all of this to say, that I disagree that s2 meanders, or that plotlines happen for the sake of showcasing Aziraphale and Crowley without purpose, or that characters get sidelined (I'd say it sets up a whole host of interesting characters to further get into actually), or that it's strictly mainstream easy-access narrative that's just an excuse for the main creators and actors to get back together.

the love is the point, and this show takes its time to show the love (and the unequal boundary-setting, and the fact that one of them has an undiscussed tragic backstory, and the desperation to belong again, and the fear instilled by oppressive systems, and and and), so that we understand why those last 15 minutes happen the way that they do

it's sleight of hand, and like all good magic, you don't notice until it's happened

#good omens #go2 #good omens season 2 #neil gaiman #david tennant #michael sheen

[mendedrum]

There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called witches and wizards, Magrat reflected, as she followed the other two back to the road.

It was probably some wonderful organisation on the part of Nature to protect itself. It saw to it that everyone with any magical talent was about as ready to cooperate as a she-bear with a toothache, so all that dangerous power was safely dissipated as random bickering and rivalry. There were differences in style, of course. Wizards assassinated each other in draughty corridors, witches just cut one another dead in the street. And they were all as self-centered as a spinning top. Even when they help other people, she thought, they're secretly doing it for themselves. Honestly, they're just like big children.

Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters (via Magrat Garlick)

............

this was just so funny to me. I like that Pratchett never fails to emphasize that these social classes of characters aren't inherently good nor bad. They have their flaws and different ways of dealing with each other and the world. It's very human and therefore very grounding and entertaining.

#discworld #terry pratchett #discworld wyrd sisters #magrat garlick #wyrd sisters #munstrum ridcully #esmeralda weatherwax #gytha ogg #heli and discworld

[forlorn-crows]

𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒚 1: 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏

pairing(s): aeon/swiss words: 656

✿

He’s barely visible under the fuzzy gray blanket that’s pulled around his body. With his legs tucked up against his chest, fabric cocooned around him, he looks like a kit drowning in a terry cloth towel after a bath. Only Aeon’s round face, screwed up in concentration with the ends of his hoodie strings between his teeth, and knobby hands, plunking away at his new basic smartphone, are visible to Swiss. 

In simple terms, he’s too cute to handle. Swiss’ fingers itch to grab and poke, squish the cuteness right out of him. Aeon grumbles something about the tiny keyboard, big pointed ear twitching as he stabs at the screen, and the multi ghoul cannot stand it for another second. 

“Whatcha doin’, bug?” he calls from his chair opposite the couch. 

Aeon chirps, peeking up from the screen. His hair sticks up on top when he lifts his head. “Hm?”

Swiss is going to scream. “I said ‘whatcha doin’’?”

“Well,” he spits out the hoodie strings, shifting a bit. “I’m trying to figure out this . . . texting thing. But Dew keeps sending me funny little faces after I accidentally send him random letters. The keys are so small, how do you do this?”

“You’ll get it, just takes some time. At least you have smaller thumbs.” Swiss wiggles both of his in Aeon’s direction. “That’ll help.”

Aeon huffs, corners of his mouth turning down, lower lip sticking out; he pouts. He’s pouting. Why must Copia always summon the adorable ones? And why can Swiss just never keep his hands off of them?

The frown remains in place even as Swiss hops out of his seat and sits down beside the newbie quint. Swiss shakes his head and chuckles. “Why’re you so damn cute?”

Aeon side-eyes him. Scoffs a little and rolls his eyes. “Cute?” he accuses. 

“Have you seen yourself?”

“I mean, yeah, I look in the mirror everyday—”

“No,” Swiss laughs, “right now. With your blanket and your little phone and that pouty face.” The multi ghoul pokes him right in the cheek, emphasizing said frown. 

“You make me sound like a child,” Aeon grumbles and flinches away, sticking his tongue out as he locks his phone and shoves it into the couch cushions. He pulls the blanket even tighter around himself. But there’s a smile tugging at his lips, even as he continues to side-eye Swiss. 

Once again, he is going to scream. “You make me crazy,” he admits stupidly, shaking his head. “I just wanna,” he makes a vague grabby-hands motion, indicating his frustration, “ugh, I just wanna scrunch you up and put you in my pocket, baby.”

“Front pockets are preferable, please.” Aeon grins suddenly, showing off his fangs. 

Swiss blinks. Momentarily stunned to silence—an incredibly rare feat for this ghoul.

“You little—” He springs into action, leaning close and poking his thick fingers everywhere: his neck, behind his ears, the dimples in his cheeks. Aeon squawks in protest, but that does nothing to stop the onslaught. He growls playfully and grabs his cheeks, squishing and smushing and squeezing. 

“‘wiss,” the quint attempts to complain—keep it together, really—through pushed-together cheeks. “‘top, bhat’re you—”

“I’m sorry, but you’re too adorable to live,” Swiss explains. “Gotta stop you before you reach mach cuteness or everyone’ll die.” Aeon whines, removing his arms from the blanket to swat at him to no avail. Swiss is quick to release his cheeks, grabbing his wrists instead and pinning his arms to his chest. 

“Gah, what the fu—” Swiss cuts him off with a cross between a snarl, a growl, and a weird noise a disgruntled-slash-scared cat would make, completely dramatic and unserious, diving in to his neck open-mouthed so he can graze his skin with the front of his teeth repeatedly with fake bites. Aeon can only toss his head back and giggle ferociously and against his will. 

“Gonna eat you,” Swiss growls. “C’mere.”

“Why are you like this?!”

𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 ✿

#mushy may 2024 #the band ghost fanfic #aeon ghoul #swiss ghoul #phantom ghoul #the band ghost #swiss/aeon #aeon/swiss #phantom/swiss #swiss/phantom #aeon x swiss #swiss x aeon #phantom x swiss #swiss x phantom #mushy may #ficlet

[specialagentlokitty]

B99 x reader - slightly twisted

Hello. Can I please request the Brooklyn 99 team X reader? Reader works with them and is very kind and friendly with everyone, but occasionally they would say something that scares everyone (including Rosa) For example, everyone is trying to figure out how to get a suspect in interrogation to talk, and out of the blue (Y/N) says "give me 10 minutes with a car battery, I'll make him talk". - Anon💜

Standing in the conference room, you weren’t really paying much attention to what was going on, but you did slightly pay attention to Rosa and Jake trying to figure out how to get their suspect to talk.

“You’ve already tried annoying him, it didn’t work idiot.” Rosa snapped.

“Well you threatening him didn’t work either!” Jake huffed.

You flicked through your paper work.

“Give me ten minutes with a car battery, I’ll make him talk.”

Rosa and Jake snapped their heads towards you, and you looked at them, giving them the sweetest smile they had ever seen.

Gathering your papers, you happily walked outside and they shared a look.

“They’re twisted…” Jake mumbled.

“Seriously twisted…” Rosa agreed.

You had a quiet personality, but you were ever so sweet, always smiling and willing to do anything to help.

But out of the blue, you would so something so disturbing or terrifying, it put everybody in the precinct on edge.

It wasn’t often you did it, but you always did it at the most unexpected times.

For the next hour you sat at your desk, the you got up to make coffee, walking into the break room where everybody else was sat.

You stared intensely at the coffee pot.

“What’re you doing?” Charles asked.

“Thinking.”

“About what?” He asked.

Everybody shouted at him, and you began to calmly pour your coffee.

“Nobody knows when they’re going to die, unless they’re murdered. Then there is one person who knew the exact time you died at, you wouldn’t even know that you’re dead, you would just be dead. We could all be dead right now.”

You sipped at your coffee, setting your cup on the table you walked to your fridge to get your lunch.

You pulled out two boxes and handed one to Jake before sitting down.

“I want you to speak to a psychiatrist.” Holt said.

You looked at him, tilting your head a little.

“Why?”

“You are very disturbed.”

“He’s right, some of the stuff you say is horrifying.” Terry nodded.

You looked the them all.

“You even scare Rosa.”

You turned to Rosa, and she shrugged a little bit.

“I thought I was disturbed.” She said.

You shrugged a bit, going back to eating your lunch, sharing some of your food for Scully and Hitchcock who were lingering nearby.

You sat inside your own head again.

“I want a burger.” You said.

“Go get one.” Amy said.

“Oh! Let us come!” Scully begged.

You agreed, walking with them to get a burger from around the corner before walking back.

Everybody was standing in the bullpen near the vulture as he tried to take the next case from someone.

“It was funny!” He laughed.

“It was a hearse! Don’t you have any respect?!” Amy snapped.

The man shrugged a little and you sat on your desk to watch them.

“What did he do?”

“I happened to laugh as a hearse went buy holding the victim, it doesn’t mean I don’t sympathise. I just don’t care.”

You took a bite of your burger and stared at the man, and the other looked at you.

“You shouldn’t laugh at something like that.”

“Oh I don’t want your philosophy lecture just give me the damn case.”

You looked back at your food, slapping Jakes hand as he tired to snatch it from you.

“One day you’ll day, and you’ll be in a hearse. You could die tomorrow, and you’ll be thrown in a hole and left to rot, bones turning to dust and bugs calling your body home.”

The whole floor went quiet.

“We all go to the same place when we die, in the ground to be worm food, so I don’t see why you act like you’re better, you’re not. You’re just another walking sack of worm feast.”

The vulture made a gagging noise, and he stepped away from you.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” He asked.

You looked up at him.

Your smile turned into a sickening grin as your stared into his eyes.

“I like scaring people.”

“That’s not hot. I’m gone.”

He quickly left and you went back to eating.

“Disturbing but useful apparently.” Rosa said.

They all looked at you and shuddered a little bit as you began to hum a twisted song under your breath.

You were the most lethal member of the squad, you didn’t need guns to bring someone down, no.

You just needed to talk, and that would be enough to make anyone confess or turn themselves in, just to escape the pure twisted truth that you generally talked about.

You had no filter, no thought process, and an unlimited supply of strange and twisted information

#Brooklyn nine nine #Brooklyn nine nine x reader #Brooklyn nine nine x you #Brooklyn nine nine imagine #b99 #b99 x reader #b99 x you #b99 imagine

[creepa-b0t-inc]

Also making a collection of secret bosses. Why? Because I felt like it.

Let me know who I'm missing, and if possible, getting sprites would be nice so I can add them to the chart!

I'll try to add credits here, let me know what I should add/fix

Jevil/Spamton by Toby Fox

Snow-E by Lemonemy

Gospell design by Scratch Lunin

Blookette by Evil Nya Nya [@SmoochaGhost2 on twitter]

Sunsette & Cressette by Snokie

Wicker/Varminter/Gatsby/Jack/Helios/Nova (But Cooler) by Astromity

Will-fye by Spoon-Breaker

Collage/Stanley P. Scribbleton/Greas-E/Buzzkill/Dr. Pox by IndieMedley

Rublaad by imaginary-regret-608

Banner/Vangel/Haxter by Shaz0s

Halojack/Beltrowel/Gauze by Huecycles

Flowery/Descora & Belle/Atlas by Anne/Bepceleste

Host by Ne0nwithazero

Brandal/Screepto/Fakeris by LocalH00ligan

Radiola by Modtro64

Timber/Starlet/Screamo/Camellia/Wilter/Hycrisik/Mantle Keeper/Hex by R. V. Pine

Sleek by Axniety

Nova by Marnielovesyou

Skuntle Bingoid by ImpactWinter

Tenna by tvlandofficial

RErunner/Lustrelocks/Astrochew by HogRidah

Jukdyne/Dooblod/Terry Crow by RoxRox

Gygar by Rocco

Mederial by PomPom

Nonbinary Secret Boss by Furkrum (I thought it was funny)

Stern by JustTheMoonz

Rachel by R. T. Oak

The Neighbor/Mizpelt/Eve/Gilmore/Kass Sheere/Antoinette/Rock-E/Herifix/Honeur Able/Bellamy/Teel da Eel/Subject_17 by Creepa-Bot Inc.

Dirk/Serif by Emihead

Memme by DELTARUNE Chapters

Glonk by 4chan

Emeraldo by Parkerino69

Micheal Sperour/Shuebert/Min-E by l1zardart1stre

Woostern/BONSLICK THE WICKED/Sonatta/Shikari/Quiddo/Left-E by Mercair

Petaly by Jas

Deadeye by CondorCrest

Vee Sal by Sandshrewdoodle

Verre Trempe by Checherex

Rosey the Rose/Nightmar-E/Orbead by GoYourOwnWay196

Mad Hatter by Scare

Cabelle/Blanca-chan/Hero by Booripley

??? Robot by Deltaconduit

Memodia by Sunhatgirl

Veehenchezz/Olliever by Bonkers B Bonkers

Yogbert by danimodder

Floe/Clawhauz/Vessel by MrkySpices

Ike by TheC0MICguy

Mike by Pep

Mike by Vulpes Borealis

Lucidia by The​Yoter​Man

Immortal Hydrangea/Lillian/Bonibon by Wandering Makers

Sockswald by TheWinterer

Solis by Marineflames

Dillon by jjaym15

Brianna Friz by TheMilkMan

Slush-E by 4444pi

Chancellor by Marmarbles

Minerva by Sylladexter

Seraphim/Laughing Vapor by Weaponizedalibi

Gerden by Right-brain-left-brain

Trinky by Marbles!!

Helel by ZET

Getty Wellson/Davilone by Yinky Tunes

Peris by PetahPetah

Graves by hazard100

Patient Zero by Nermike

Roulette by Dollyglot

Inka by Pixelator

Spree Blitz by Ornstein

Creengle Snap by Kael Salesman

Cehll by A Lego.

Meucci/Roundhouse/Rosaline/Candrell/Coda by Wilkus Milkus

Wormwood by Freedom Co.

Lux Aeterna/Hearty by Spamemailguy

Rumi/Sergoyle by Frosty

Wanky Jo/Nyyrk by Change_it

Hymnis/Knockpad by Bog

S. Lacker by TzarLicken

Tapes by Broom

Horse by ExistingKirb

Pup-C by Scare

Ornamiel/Chrysette/Bandit Aster/Kaerel/Moquiere/Baker & Ratty by Isastuff

Howdy by S.A.

The Great Bazow by Lettuce_turtle

Moonslammer by Vindicator

Monitoon/Mixel by Toosday

Senstar by Mr. Luwigi

Foe by Bryleethebig

Goldie by DeltaVelvet

Satinelle by Octobox

Remild by Espeon

Rainie by Left-Brain-Right-Brain

Rael by Direct to Darkness

Roti by Followerex

Candy/Pastrot by ColorWorld

Dr. Etal by Uevos

Edd-E & Snatchy/Princheque by Rejona

Harlamour by Rosaic

Fleur/Ice-E by Red

Railey/Vantablack by Glitch-the-artist

The Hopless by Cyphis6

Tee-V by Filipnofishstickfailure

Alvaos/Soupa by Bryan the Celestial

Lumia/Curly Bracket by Kate Bun

#deltarune #deltarune au #deltarune fan character #deltarune secret boss #deltarune oc #secret boss list

[wonderwyrm]

Terry Pratchett knows how to fill a moment with emotion.

Earnest, fervent, sincere emotion. Joy, humor, horror, sadness, all of them at once. Terrible, terrible things happen to the characters in his books, and yet they’re funny to the point that I think they’re mostly branded as comedy.

At the same time, I can easily see most of his books being recreated as horror stories. God, I would love to look more at the ways he creates terrifying situations.

And even during those horrifying moments, he still manages to work in a joke, and you want to laugh as you frantically turn the next page to see if the protagonist makes it out alive. I have no doubt that he might kill off a main character moments after poking fun at their name, and both moments would come across as entirely sincere.

Specifically I want to bring up an example I just came across. I’ve been going through his books in chronological order and I just got to Going Postal (spoilers ahead) and I can see why so many people have this book as their favorite.

Our main character, Moist, has been unwillingly appointed Postmaster, and the old Post Office is filled with decades of undelivered mail. It’s revealed to him, over the course of a few chapters, that the undelivered mail speaks to people, and the collective spirits of those hundreds of thousands of undelivered letters are restless and angry and trapped.

I’d like to make a note that I think this is the first time Pratchett has used magic in this particular way. Discworld has the Magic-Themed books, and the Not Magic books, and while there are occasional overlaps, for the most part Magic is used as a foil and satire for classic magical stories, or as a way for Wizards and Witches to tell their stories. Theclosest I can remember Magic happening to this is in Moving Pictures, where the Holly Wood spirit escapes into Discworld and infects the people there to start making movies, and this mostly subtle and seems a way for Pratchett to make a note of how insane it is for us to treat movies and actors and the whole business of making them in the way we do.

I’m actually rather pleased that he chose The Mail to be something that is just… magic. Unexplained, powerful, something that makes sense and yet doesn’t. Maybe that will change as I get further in the book.

To the moment I’m thinking of. Moist has just been declared Postmaster, and now he’s confronted, in the dark, by the spirits of the mail. They ask him if he will do his job, if he will move the mail again. He says that he isn’t worthy, and the mail says that they just need someone, anyone who will help them.

So Moist says he will. He will do it.

Then the mail, all the hundreds of thousands of unsent letters, say

Deliver Us

And this is what I’m talking about. This is a climatic moment, a moment where Moist is making big changes in his life, in what he is deciding to do. You can feel the desperation of the mail to be sent to their destinations, to be freed from this stagnant hell.

Deliver Us

It’s a pun, you see. Because you deliver mail. It gets delivered. A joke, in the middle of this important moment. It’s a pun and an order, to do his job, to let them fulfill their purpose.

And at the same time, it’s a plea. A desperate, angry plea to be set free and given life again, a plea that someone, even someone like Moist, will be their savior and deliver them from their endless purgatory.

Deliver Us

This is what I love about Terry Pratchett.

#Terry Pratchett #Discworld #Moist Von Lipwig #Going Postal