#TO EVERYONE SAYING POLYAMORY EXISTS

[sparrowsfallingfromthesky]

It's because no one wants to fucking read trentrebeccated. Not everyone is polyamorous or wants to read about their two fave characters with a third. And because tedbecca fucking sucks.

baby's first real hate mail <3

#Anonymous #look I didn't fucking say that everyone has to read it. that would be stupid. I just said it's weird that it doesn't exist #there are fics out there for SO MANY polyamorous arrangements in this show and some of them make less sense. that's all I was saying #but now that you were a bitch about it maybe I AM going to say that everyone has to read it. #lmao how did you even find my post? did it show up in the tedtrent search because I mentioned them in my tags? because that's not my proble #I didn't put it in any main tags. on purpose. #and if you saw it because you follow me then you should be used to polyamory

[pilfappreciator]

Been seeing lots of Bruce x Reader content which is fine! Great even! But I've seen absolutely NOBODY acknowledged the existence of his fine ass muppet wife so I went ahead and DID IT MYSELF 😤😤😤

Bruce/Brandi x Reader

Includes: GN! Reader, polyamory, lots of MILF/DILF appreciation (as there should be), Vacay Lovers

🧡 Chances are you first met them while visiting Vacay Island. Bruce welcomed you with open arms and that charming attitude of his, got you nice and situated for your stay. Eventually he introduced you to his lovely wife Brandi and the kids

💜 The couple warm up to you pretty quick. You've got a great personality, you never hesitate to help them out around the island, their kids adore you (not to mention you're pretty cute)

🧡 These two are honestly couple goals. Literally soulmates. They're super devoted to one another and its pretty obvious to everyone around that they're meant to be. I mean they literally have a gaggle of kids so yknow they're in it for the long run

💜 THAT BEING SAID!! It'd probably be a while before you three actually got together

🧡 Bruce and Brandi only have eyes for each other (at least at first). Introducing someone new into the relationship probably wouldn't even occur to them unless they got to know that person really well, and even then there'd still be long discussions between the two about whether they're really ready for that kind of change. What it would mean for the relationship, how it might affect them, their family and business, ect.

💜 These two never half-ass things. Both are the type to pour their entire souls into what they deem important so if you're gonna be with them, then you bet your ass that it's gonna be for the long haul. The three of you WILL retire and grow old together okay they will PERSONALLY see to it

🧡 But eventually, after you've known them for a year or two and once they've both come to terms with how they feel about you?

💜 BABES PREPARE TO GET SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET

🧡 These two are the perfect team (comes with co-owning a business and running a family ig)

💜 After years of being the heartthrob of BroZone, Bruce is an expert at putting his natural charm and good looks to use. This man is constantly making time to come over and strike up a conversation. And I think it's universally agreed that the guy is not shy or subtle once so ever, so expect a lot of compliments/winks/charming smirks thrown your way. This man is fully leaning up against the wall beside you, giving you that signature Casanova Smoulder(tm), all while telling you how he and Brandy are planning to add french fries to the bar menu

🧡 "But it's supposed to be a surpise until then so let's just keep this between the three of us. Okay, beautiful?" He says with a wink, raising a finger and briefly pressing it against your lips

💜 You probably shouldn't get so flustered over French fries... unfortunately Bruce is sexy and knows it 😔

🧡 Brandi isn't as on-the-nose as her husband but that doesn't mean she's any less effective. She managed to snag someone like Bruce afterall so you KNOW she's got game

💜 Definitely gives you just as many compliments and praise but she's very like... very nonchalant about it?? Like the two of you will be mid convo and she'll just randomly go "wow you are literally so gorgeous haha. Are you sure you're single?"

🧡 You have about five seconds to respond before she's moving on and telling you all about how one of her sons keeps getting stuck in ketchup bottles

💜 It's kinda hard to tell if she's actually flirting with you. She's pretty laid back compared to her husband and at certain times she seems like a bit of an airhead, so whenever she says something nice, it tends to come off as a casual compliment...

🧡 But then there are times where she'll like? Brush a strand of hair outta your face, or wipe some food from the corner of mouth unprompted, or point out a piece of jewelry you have on by running her fingers over it?? Her skin grazing your own just the barest amount??? All while she's giving you that look??????

💜 This woman is sneaky as fuck ngl

🧡 Expect to hear these two gush about each other on the daily. They are CONSTANTLY hyping each other up whenever they're apart (they're in love what do you expect?), but when you've got the BOTH OF THEM in front of you??

💜 They are a well-oiled machine. You are absolutely getting tag teamed by this duo. By the time you leave their company expect to be red in the face and your heart skipping a few beats

🧡 You get invited to a LOT of family meals. Mostly dinners, but sometimes lunch and even breakfast too. And believe me, there is no such thing as a quite meal with this family. They have 13 chaotic kids who are always getting into shit so expect to come outta the whole ordeal with a few food stains on your clothes

💜 look out for Bruce Jr. cuz that kid will for sure try to start a food fight

🧡 Bruce and Brandi are always super apologetic about any messes that occur (they know first hand how exhausting their gaggle of kids can be), but then you just smile and seem genuinely unbothered? Maybe even amused by it all??

💜 "Babe what's their ring size?"

"Brandi, honey, pretty sure we have to at least take them on a date first."

"I'm just asking for a friend!"

"...Am I the friend?"

"You know you are, babe."

🧡 Yeah if these two catch you hitting it off with their kids and showing a genuine interest in their hobbies/interest/lives?? They are SWOONING, vows are being MADE, rings are being CHOSEN—

💜 If at any point you recognize Bruce from BroZone, or if Brandi brings it up in conversation in an attempt to boost her man's rep, then prepare yourself because Bruce will most definitely start putting on a show

🧡 Under normal circumstances he'd be wayyyy more hesitant. Performing anything from his past doesn't bring up the best memories... but he's willing to bust out a good bop if it earns him brownie points in your book (and it better considering that his wife is always telling him how hot he looks whenever he's doing his "boy band thing" lol)

💜 OUTINGS WITH BRANDi!! This woman is taking you shopping or out to the nearest cafe/restaurant that just so happens to serve your favorite, what do you know! Sometimes she brings you along to meet her friends, all of whom are well aware of your existence wink wonk

🧡 Will swoon and fan herself whenever you offer to pay for things, but like as a joke!

💜 (not)

🧡 Chances are the kids already know what's up with the three of you. Maybe it doesn't click immediately but Bruce Jr. notices that how his parents treat and act around you is the same as they treat and act around each other, he goes blabbing to his siblings and soon enough they're all in on it. They don't entirely understand the complexity of the situation... but they're aware that one extra parent potentially means more presents for christmas sooooo

💜 These little shits are mischievous as hell. They are asking you what your favorite color is just to subtly drop the answer while Brandi is out shopping for trinkets. You mention what kind of music you're into and suddenly Bruce is looking up playlists

🧡 You better believe all 13 of them have started a betting pool going about who will confess first, you or their parents.

💜 Brandi's friends might be in on this betting pool. The other vacationers too

🧡 Eventually (after lots of pining and a fuck ton of patiently biding their time), Bruce and Brandi decide to take the leap and invite you into the relationship

💜 They invite you to dinner. It is a WHOLE ordeal and they've been planning months in advance. The kids are off being babysat by one of Brandi's friends (both parties were suspiciously cool with this sudden course of action). Their business is put on pause with little complaint from their customers (again, suspicious)

🧡 You're immediately drowned in compliments the second you show up at the door. You could legit just be dressed in your pj's and they're like "wow those sweatpants really make your eyes pop 😀" sjsjskakaka

💜 You are being waited on hand and foot the whole time. Bruce is manifesting every ounce of romanticism he can— flower petals everywhere, candles are lit, he's got a ukulele tuned and ready for when he eventually serenades you. Meanwhile Brandi has cooked you a feast made entirely of all your favorites and is tucking little flowers into your hair every now and then. At some point she hands you a cute piece of jewelry she saw while out shopping the other day. Just a little somethin somethin that immediately made her think of you <33

🧡 Overall, dinner is going great! The three of you are having a blast in each other's company and it's refreshing to be able to have a conversation without worrying about rambunctious kids or another pink eye outbreak. The atmosphere is quite yet intimate. Their hard work is not going to waste. You are thoroughly wooed

💜 And just when dessert is about to be served—

🧡 "We think you're really hot."

"Wha— BRANDi! My song!"

"Hmm? OH, was I supposed to wait till after—?"

💜 Yeahhh they kinda fumble the confession ngl. You'd think they'd be smoother but they are both: 1) very excited, and 2) very nervous

🧡 Nevertheless, their point gets across. For a moment they kinda panic because of how quite you are afterwards, but really you're just? Absolutely flabbergasted?? These two hotties wanna date YOU??? FR??????

💜 Of course once you manage to form a coherent response (hopefully a positive one), the couple is literally over the moon

🧡 Brandi's flapping her lil muppet hands all excited like "OMIGOSH THEY SAID YES?!"

💜 And Bruce is just smirking and all like "of course they did, honey, did you seriously think they'd say no to the two of us?" all while simultaneously releasing the death grip he had on his ukulele (this man is a fraud)

🧡 Victory dessert follows shortly after. Your hands become absolutely useless for the next few minutes because these two are DEFINITELY TAKING TURNS SPOON-FEEDING YOU AJSHAKAKAKA

💜 The night ends with the three of you hanging out on the couch, either with Bruce serenading you and Brandi or the three of you just cuddling in a pile (probably both ngl)

🧡 Cue the next morning. The kids come back just to find you all fast asleep in the living room, you in the middle with their parents on either side

💜 Pictures are 100% being taken

I love these two a lot, could you tell?

Thinkin about doing a PART TWO!! Lemme know what you guys think 👀

#ppl love bruce and thats valid but like?? #they ignore his gorgeous muppet wife??? #LIKE YOU GUYS SHES RIGHT THERE HELLO #livin up to my username #trolls #trolls band together #bruce trolls #spruce trolls #brandi trolls #x reader #headcanon #Vacay Lovers #<-shipname? anyone?? #trolls x reader #brozone #brozone x reader

[the-entitie]

Why didn't you say anything?

Poly TF 141 x sex-demon reader (male intended but has depictions of fem):

A|n: Based on this writer's amazing work and this artist's au. And now this is very long.... I can't just write porn can I? Of well.

Prt:2 is done <3 》》》》》

Be warned I use more Catholic or deamon depiction of our succubus(male) reader, so please expect some body horror esk depictions. Also, the 141 are all in a polycule in this story.

CW: NSFW halfway through after the line break, sex addiction or dependence depicted for reader, threats to health, kind of eating disorder esk, talk of threats/acts of noncon and dubcon to reader (not focused on), polyamory, some talk of religion, why is this so long? And angst??? Ok....

Thinking about being a demon who became the 141's spy. The blood of the damned that ran through you, making you that much more dangerous and that much better at your job.

You fell under the deadly sin of lust, but it's been so many decades that you can't quite remember how you came to be. Maybe reincarnation, maybe you were summoned. It doesn't matter anymore, but it still hindered your intake into the military. You were practically a veteran by the time Price picks you up and drags you into his team.

None of the 141 had ever worked with anyone demonic for an extended amount of time. There had been the call ins and times when they picked up failed missions, but none of them ever really worked with a demon.

Ghost, as a wraith, was the closest any of them had gotten to working with anyone similar to you.

You started out as someone they called to scope out information before a particularly threatening mission. You were just the help, the one they called when they needed a spy. Until they leaned about how every other task force would drop you within a month of calling you thiers.

Price had worried that it was something to do with you or your attitude towards teamwork when he had taken you in, made you one of his men.

That was before he noticed this kind of cycle you would go through. Just when a mission would start, you would pull back. You would separate from everyone, not cold turkey, yet you just wouldn't be present. The training room was one person short, or their would be one less person here on the quieter afternoons he didn't even know this team had.

It was after the missions that you would be more than present again.

You were there again when Soap wanted to run his lycanthopic body to exhaustion just so he could feel just a little more human with the pains it brought. When he was hyper, feeling like he needed to move, you were there to shove him. Drag him into a game of tag or chase or anything to help him move. Soap has never been good at sitting still.

When Gaz needed to be called from the purch he picked to preen his damp or irritated feathers on that was away from the busy noise of the base. Or when his Avian blood told him to take to the sky, you were happy to be taken for a flight or watch him loop around, watch him stretch his wings, across the star splattered skies.

And there you were outside with the nocturnal Ghost, saying you didn't need the sleep most nights and got bored. Even when his form would flicker, tendrils of shadows lashing around his open skin, something that made most run. You stayed with him, hummed a tune you can't remember the origin of, in a language probably only those as old as you would remember.

When Price was struck with phantom pain, when he would feel this pang on his wing only to realize it was from the one that didn't exist anymore. You were there with him. Happy to share a cigar with the smoke that smoldered was neither from his drag nor you. There to sit and fill in paperwork long into the night shift, to just exist around Price when the team was still settling in, or licking wounds.

In the more common areas where Soap would annoy Gaz into another game of cards. You were there to keep the peace.

It had taken Price longer than he was willing to admit to know what was going on. It wasn't some manipulative, carrot and stick, trick no. And it almost seemed like you hadn't consciously been doing it. Before it clicked.

You were a demon, a succubus, to be specific. You fed off of the emotion or the intent of sex.

And you only got that when you needed to get someone to talk. You only lean into it when it's needed for a mission.

He honestly felt stupid, like a leader that failed, but he was quick to right that failure. It wasn't like this team didn't run off and blow off steam together or that they left soap to struggle through his heat alone, nor did they leave Gaz to sit and brood alone. None of that.

And if you were a part of his team, this team, then you can't be starved. Can't be left to weaken, to crave, no. Price wouldn't stand it.

So he talked to the team. Told them his theory, his plan to fix it, and when the team had gotten over the hurt of leaving you alone and weak. They jumped at the opportunity.

Starting small.

Being more openly affectionate around you, never quiet reaching out but still letting the emotions linger.

Those play fights that Ghost would tap out of suddenly just kept going, and those thick visceral emotions none could quiet place the origin of; would hang so heavy in the air you could practically catch it between your teeth.

Those days Gaz would pull back, preen his wings alone; became fewer and far between. Now, the nearest team mate had a lap full of fluffled up wings and pleading eyes. And could Gaz use those honey coated eyes of his to glance up through his lashes and beg.

The quiet chuckles and this ever so pleased emotion would wind around Price's incisors, a satisfied thrill of the dragon flooding a palpable semblance of the satisfied job.

Price started talking about to the team, and they started trying to be more connected, more present, with you so you could have that nourishment. And if that meant that private room doors were left ever so lightly ajar during late nights spent with each other. No one mentioned it.

Soap was the first to notice the actual change.

Your eyes would flicker, puplis vibrating softly before it was shut down, and you would disappear. Or you would actually pull back. He was also the first to tell Price. And thier leader waisted no time.

"You good there, lutenent?" His voice calls softly into your quarters.

"All good Cap."

"Not so sure about that one soldier." Price presses on, taking a step further in to push the door more closed, "You don't play well with this team?"

"No, I have no qualms with any of you. Sorry if it seemed so."

"Ya do always talk so proper like you know?"

"Apologies, old habits."

Price steps closer, easily taking the space offered my your open thighs. Letting that simmering feeling flush his skin.

"Maybe we should start making new ones. What do you say, Sugar?"

His hand hovered just over your throat, careful to keep you feel safe. Price of all people knows what a demon can do when cornered, and it wasn't like he wanted you to feel put off.

He sees what Soap saw, just as his palm cups the edge of your jaw, your pupils flicker. Body dropping almost leaning agaisnt him.

"Why didn't you say something, Suguar?"

"Not of my use in this team."

"You don't need to be useful to eat." He sounded almost angry, calming all the more when you do lean into him, "you never need to earn a meal. Just ask. We all want to help."

That night, he let you ride him.

Laid back against your bed, held your weight by your thighs, and let you set the pace. Even if he was so hard it hurt, or if your dark lion-esk tail would flick across the sensitive inside of his thigh. Or when he's come twice and is practically drooling before he notice just how much more like your kin you look.

He doesn't stop you from flicking a forked tongue over the overwhelmed tears, he only noticed the change at the hitch of your breath when Price tangles his scared hands in your hair. Accidently tracing the curving rams horns that has twisted around your more pointed ears.

Singing your praise, even as you tried and failed to explain that you don't matter in this, just his pleasure.

He shut that down real quick.

#cod x male reader #x male reader #call of duty #cod #john price #john price x male reader #john price x reader #john price x you #tw ed implied #wip.txt #succubus reader #deamon reader #x reader #cod x reader #monster 141 au

[sheisjoeschateau]

"...at the Chateau, we'll be alright."

Steve Harrington x Jonathan Byers x fem!reader A crossover au inspired by Saltburn and Call Me by Your Name. Additional inpso from Joe's college theater performance as in Spring Awakening.

Song Inso: "Chateau" by Djo

Strangers to best friends to lovers. Slowburn. Angst, angst, angst. Fluff, fluff, fluff. Hurt/comfort. Romance, with polyamory themes and schemes. Smut with hella plot.

Summary: The reader lives with her parents at a fancy chateau, in France.  This year, her father offers their home as a housing sanctuary to a select student or graduate.  He decides to invite two graduate students to live with their family over the summer, coming from different working class backgrounds, and help with their academic paperwork as a professor of archaeology.

Steve Harrington: a rich kid from a swanky boarding school with a bad boy reputation and too much charm for his own good.  Surprisingly, his grades say otherwise.  A’s and B’s, his parents claim that is seeking one-on-one tutoring so that he can progress in his studies — but it sounds more like an excuse to ship him off for longer periods of time, giving them an out for having their son around during the summer.  The pretty boy’s all about ladies…but that’s only because he hasn’t met a boy who awakens his bisexuality.  Yet.

Jonathan Byers: a kid from the lower working class, excelling in his studies and AP programs at the same boarding school as Steve which he only got into because of community sponsorship and grants.  Quiet wallflower, little to no friends, a bit cynical.  A closeted gay, he’s more determined to stick with being perceived as “ace” than come out of the closet.  Until he goes to stay at a chateau with a handsome boy, and a beautiful girl who understands him.

Twists, turns and terrifying risks, you all put your hearts on the line that summer at the Chateau. Add the reader's cousin Eddie into the mix, along with her best friend Robin, Steve's ex-girlfriend Nancy, Jonathan's estranged mother and your progressive parents alongside Steve's absent parents -- it's a cruel summer.

But here, together at the chateau, you'll be alright.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊ ⋆SNEAK PREVIEW⋆ ⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ This will be another series of mine, dedicated to my boy. Coming soon.

[excerpt from the story]

There was something about the way you twirled in your sundress that reminded Steve of the bible.

He wasn't religious, nor did he think any god truly loved or believed in him. But here, watching you exist in your garden of eden at the Chateau, the good book almost seemed real.

You resembled something otherworldly.  Heavenly, sent straight from above.  Innocent, yet wise.  Kind, yet strong.  Powerful and delicate at the same time.  Your laugh was soft, feminine and pure.  Your spirit was whole.  Your smile blinded him with joy.  Your beauty was divine, angelic and overwhelming.  You were too much…and yet, you could never be enough.

But that wasn’t because you yourself weren’t enough.  No, rather it was because Steve would never be able to get enough of you.  He could never be close enough.  He could never be near you enough.  He could never tell you enough words that would accurately describe the way that you made him feel.  

The word ‘enough’ simply did not apply when it boiled down to you.  

And yet, as Steve swept you up into his arms — discarding his books and his education down onto the lawn, much more driven to study you — holding you felt like that was all that he would ever need for his life to be considered enough.  The feeling of your waist in his grasp, his strong arms circling your petite torso as your hair flew in the wind of the circle he spun you in, felt like a tornado.  A cyclone, sweeping you both off your feet so that it could take you far away from everything and everyone.  You were this fragile flower in his hands, yet unbreakable.  Real, but too good to be true.  A true story, but a fairytale of the mind.

Jonathan saw you this way — but from a more niche, almost platonic point of view.  It was just as codependent, yet approached with more independence and the ability to exist on his own two feet.  He’d do whatever it took to keep you, no matter what the hell that took.  And he knew that to some degree, a pretty scary degree, that he needed you too.  But he was content with the need.  Satisfied, at peace.  Completely grounded, secure.  Unlike Steve, who smiled out of fear and loved with his whole heart on the line.  Because Byers knew how to be alone.  He knew how to rely on himself, fill his own cup even when it was empty — which was all the time.  Byers was the epitome of “I walk alone.”  The human embodiment of solitude.  He preferred your company, your grace and your presence.  It made him better, and stronger — because he’d known prior how to operate without it.

Harrington didn’t.  Harrington needed someone, all the time.  As an only child, the loneliness had suffocated him in his big house with no parents.  He’d had no one to shush the nightmares away, no one to hold him whenever the monsters felt near.  No one to run to and trust with any secret that he had.  No true friend who would listen to his most intrusive thoughts without casting him away.  No girl that wanted him in the ways that he so desperately sought to be loved, not just lusted after.  Until you came along, sheltering him from all his deepest and darkest fears, childhood traumas and the ever-looming possibility of rejection.  He had been a threat to himself, and you put that threat to rest with just a soft brush of your lips against his knuckles and the touch of your tender hands.  

Whereas with Byers, you made him feel seen but not disturbed.  You allowed him to be present without needing to overcompensate.  You granted him refuge, earning his trust with your actions instead of your words.  He didn’t need your touch to calm him.  Rather, he felt steadied by just knowing that you were here.  You knew that touch was never a friend to Jonathan, which is why you never pushed yourself in.  Instead, he found himself drawn to you.  He didn’t recoil at the physical contact made between the two of you.  A hug, a warm embrace that lingered just an extra second or two.  A gentle squeeze of a hand as you shot him a wistful smile.  The most feather-like of kisses pressed to his cheek to say hello, good morning, good evening or goodnight.  It felt…nurturing.  Assuring, fostering.

Out on the outstretched lawn in front of the Chateau, acreage upon acreage, Jonathan watched your hair gleam underneath the golden glow of the setting sun.  He let the Marlboro in his mouth dangle between his teeth, the curriculum resting upon his lap as the scent of nicotine and fresh air filled his senses.  The mixture of it was perfect for the scene laid out before him: Steve spinning you around, his white collared shirt unbuttoned just enough to wear his tie swung in the breeze as he continued swirling you around like a princess.  And when he’d placed you back onto your feet, he peppered every single inch of your face with an obscene amount of stolen kisses as you giggled like the darling that you so effortlessly are.  Jonathan felt his lips tug upwards at the corner, unable to help himself when it came to the two of you.  His shoulder angel and shoulder devil.

He turned the page of his literature books, revealing his unfinished letter that he’d begun writing at lunch in response to his mother.  Joyce had written to him, asking him to tell her everything about the summer.  How was it in France?  What was it like?  Were the hosts kind, was he being polite towards them?  What about you?  Were the two of you getting along, as well as the other student?

Jonathan glanced up from his scribbled cursive, back at the two of you.  Steve was cupping your cheek, placing a flower in your hair with his free hand before moving to cup your other cheek so that he was cradling your face.  His perfect, sharp nose nuzzled to the tip of yours sweetly.  Jonathan felt his heart swell as the two of you turned to look at him with pure love.  Your arms stretched out towards him, along with Steve’s, beckoning him.  Come play with us.  He grinned at you both wholeheartedly, holding up a hand — which you both knew meant he would, just a little longer.  You’d all learned each others’ love languages by now, along with how to communicate through gestures and expressions.  Body language was all of your specialty, in a multitude of ways that no one else could ever possibly understand.  Jonathan didn’t mind that.  It was only meant for the three of you.

Flicking his cigarette, he glanced back down at the incomplete letter he was ready to finish writing for his mother.  He took his pen, letting the ink spill onto the parchment. He'd already written down things earlier, telling her that your parents had taken them in as their own. He wrote about how much your father made him adore his studies in ways he never had before, and how he'd been inspired to help Steve study alongside him as an assistant tutor of sorts. He wrote to her about an Aperol spritz had somehow become the drink of the summer, using fresh citrus from the gardens of your estate, and how it made uncharacteristically sappy. How you and Steve made him that way too, even without the poison coursing through his veins.

Something about them makes me feel like I can, Mom.  I keep asking myself if this all just a dream.  Or maybe, it’s the past?  Not sure.  Either way, just thought I’d ask.  Not because I am seeking the answer, from you or the universe.  Rather, I’m simply existing and letting it all just happen.  C’est la vie.  I know…so very French. Perhaps I'm running a fever. A lovesick sort of fever.

Jonathan grinned down at his writing with wry amusement at himself.  At his life.

He turned over his shoulder, glancing back at the majestic chateau behind him.  Chateau Chalamet.  Your childhood home. His new home, as of that summer…which was dwindling away, day by day.  Every day that passed meant that he had less time.  All of you were losing time.  He sighed, resuming his writing.

I’ll turn back the time whenever this all ends.  In my mind, this will always be a home away from home.  Which is something I never thought I would say.  I’m not really sure what my future holds.  But it doesn’t really concern me at the moment. Now right now. Right now, I'm at the chateau and I feel alright. Love, Jonathan

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#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington smut #polyamory #stonathan #stonancy except it's us #dark acadamia aesthetic #saltburn au #call me by your name #challengers #stranger things au #boarding school #steve struggles with his sexuality and so does jonathan #jonathan byers #Steve Harrington likes girls and boys #lgbtq community #bisexual steve harrington #gay Jonathan byers #polyamourous

[polyamorouspunk]

Why Don’t We Love The New Polyamory Flag?

I’m going to keep this brief because no one needs a lecture.

It was claimed that “polyamorous people voted” and this was “the word of the community” and yet no one seemed to know this vote existed or was taking place?

In the argument of “well this one is better on the eyes” there have already been designs keeping the original themes that solve that issue.

It removes some of the history attached to the original flag, history that no one seems to care about anymore. Even if you think that the pi symbol is stupid, there have been versions made with the infinity heart, a universally recognized symbol of polyamory.

The flag is very hard to recreate in many designs. As someone who makes pride bracelets, it’s very easy to recognize the blue, red, and black. This flag is harder to recreate.

It’s been said that the colors are easily mixed up with the bisexual flag or the androgynous flag, and removes that iconic individuality that the polyam flag colors have.

This isn’t me saying it’s ugly or that criticisms of the original flag aren’t valid. I’m not here to point fingers and say that it’s “problematic” and that “we need to stop using it”. I’m not even here to cry about how annoying it is that everyone calls the original flag ugly when someone of us actually like it and how tiring that negativity gets to be to hear a piece of art you like trashed. I’m simply here to say that this is NOT the new universal flag, and according to a poll *I* put out on tumblr, 60% of people reject the new flag. What you have is two camps of people, one camp that voted this new flag into existence as the majority of people in some mysterious poll and those who support this decision, and another group that has worked to keep the original flag in tact and/or has an issue with the unconventional design of the new one. At least here on tumblr you’ll find a lot of the big polyamory blogs like @polyamorouscultureis @polyamoryfacts @polyamorousmood @polyshipprompts @polyamory4life @polyamory-ponderings @polyamory-place @polyamory-imagines and so many more still using some version of the original flag. It’s not going anywhere, and I wish people would stop acting like we all threw it in the garbage.

#polyamory flag discourse #flag discourse #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous #polyamory colors

[torukmaktoskxawng]

tsamsiyu ta'em - the road to success

Masterlist - part seven

Summary: With her brother's family gone, Kayla gets to work becoming one of the People.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 9k+

Taglist (bold indicates “could not tag”): @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx​ @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @andyfromku

Warnings: canon-compliant, canon-typical violence, mature language, adult content, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, alien/human (technically avatar), jake sully sister agenda, time skips, I'm trying to hurry up and get to the good parts so bear with me, fluff, angst, adopted spider, tags to be added

A/N: Holy shit, you're telling me I have to stretch this fic out until 2025 now?! *deep breaths* We got this, ya'll. We waited thirteen years for a sequel... we can wait a little longer for the next one... *crying 'cause I'll be thirty-one when the last movie comes out*

More determined than ever, Kayla gets to work on earning her ikran. The faster she tamed a banshee, the faster she can search for Spider and hopefully bring him home. She didn't know Quaritch-- Hell, she didn't think she ever would considering everyone believed he was dead, but from the stories Kayla has heard, he sounded like a tyrant and she couldn't afford to think about what might be happening to Spider or if he was even still alive. That last thought she tried not to think about, instead she kept herself busy trying to work her way up to her Iknimaya. She desperately wanted to fulfill the promise she made to her nieces and nephews, hoping for their sake -and Spider's- that the kid was unharmed and still kicking.

Even she could admit that she worried for the teen, scared of what Ardmore could be capable of. The general was stone cold, inside and out, and Kayla couldn't imagine that her former superior was ever good with kids. If Ardmore is as incapable of empathy as Kayla had previously claimed, she could only imagine what harm that could mean for Spider, and honestly, it kept her up at night.

So she tried not to think about it. Instead, she worked hard trying not to be a nuisance to the clan. From dawn to dusk, she would do her part to see that the clan was working like a well-oiled machine. She tended to the ikran, but only to the ones who had riders or who had lost one. Norm explained those banshees were safe for her to care for since the ikran only know one rider in their whole lives. She helped weave any necessities, like baskets, despite still being a little worse for wear at the task. She didn't take part in many festivities, but she sang and cheered from the sidelines. Although she couldn't hunt yet, she helped clean any kills made during the day. Now almost a pro in the language, she would bless the body of the creature, thanking the animal for its sacrifice and bidding its soul return to Eywa. Kayla was still hesitant about the existence of the Great Mother, but she did what she had been taught in order to earn both the People's and Eywa's respect.

The Omatikaya were strong under Tarsem's orders. He was younger than Neytiri, likely only a child during the Last Battle of the Hallelujah Mountains fifteen years ago. Jake had complimented the wisdom Tarsem had for his age, but Kayla was skeptical at first, remembering what she and Jake were like at Tarsem's age. Then again, Tarsem was not a child of Earth, and Na'vi at his age had a great many accomplishments that even Kayla was envious of. Kids on Earth could learn a lot from the kids of the Na'vi, and the thought alone only made Kayla think of Spider until she was spiraling again. 

Tarsem was surprisingly respectful of Kayla, which she can only assume was an advantage of being the former olo'ektan's sister. He took it upon himself to help her perfect her archery skills and even brought her on some of his own hunting parties. It was a breath of freedom she had never gotten under Jake's leadership so she greatly appreciated Tarsem's. Even though she wasn't given permission to kill anything, it was a great learning experience. Norm accompanied Kayla on some of these hunting parties and he praised whatever skills she showed off, always claiming that she was getting better.

But that wasn't good enough for her, and looking back, Mo'at claimed that even the forest recognized Kayla's determination. The tsahik spun a tale about how Eywa gave Makaylasully her blessing that night, and the next day Kayla had gone hunting with Txe'la and Meui. They returned by midday with a killed and cleaned yerik dragging behind Kayla and wide smiles on each of their faces. The whole clan was happy for her, much to her surprise and excitement, the adrenaline still running through her veins. Norm and Max had apparently placed bets on when she would make a kill and Max walked away with a priceless bottle of whiskey Norm had been saving. Kayla wasn't gonna let Norm live that down.

To make up for doubting her determination, Norm offered to tag along when Kayla went to claim an ikran. Tarsem also accompanied Kayla along with one other young Na'vi warrior ready to ride. They all trudge back to the rookery, the same one Kayla had been visiting to tend to the banshees who wouldn't try to kill her. Now, with the knowledge that the only one that would try to kill her would be hers, Kayla had to admit her confidence was through the roof, and later she would talk about how reckless and stupid she looked. 

"Has there ever been an ikran in history who didn't want to kill their rider?" Kayla mocked a whisper to Norm when he explained this behind the waterfall leading up to the rookery.

The smile he gave her was genuine and sweet, "Kiri."

Her eyes widen and her jaw drops, "Kiri?"

"Yeah, she was young, younger than most Na'vi kids when they first gain an ikran. She had simply asked the beast to be her friend and that was that."

Tarsem scoffed, but it was fond and playful, "That girl is touched by Eywa. I could place her in front of Palulukan and she would befriend it... if her mother didn't kill me first, of course."

Kayla snorts and tilts her head back to feel the mist of the waterfall against her face, calming her excitement even as Tarsem leaned toward her, "Would you like to go first, Makaylasully?"

"Hell yeah," she grinned, opening her eyes that were practically sparkling with determination, "Let's get this over with."

"Got your catcher?" Norm had asked even though he was already staring at the wrapped-up frond strung to Kayla's hip.

She only nods and heads out without looking back, worried that she'd have second thoughts if she did so. She had been getting better with heights since her first trip into the rookery, getting used to the drop-offs ever since she forced herself to continue coming back here to tend to the ikran. Kayla purposely kept her gaze in front of her, stubbornly keeping herself from looking down. Already, she could hear the familiar flap of heavy wings and air-piercing screeches, her nerves slightly calmed with the familiar environment she had purposely gotten herself used to for this moment. 

Walking out into the heart of the nests, Kayla was completely surrounded by ikran, all of various different colors and sizes. Some greeted her with loud roars and some even fled the scene before she could even look at them. It greatly narrowed down her search. She kept her steps slow, making sure to make as much eye contact as possible with every ikran she came across, just to see if they were going to willingly take the bait. None did, however, flying or crawling away whenever she got too close with the banshee catcher now unwound and dangling in her hand. Each time she thought she had met her match, she took that last step forward and the banshee would suddenly retreat in fear and distaste. A small bit of doubt was beginning to form in her gut. Maybe none of the ikran would choose her. Maybe they smell the drive to rescue Spider off of her and decided that her suicide mission was not worth their lives. 

Whatever they smelled, it only angered Kayla further... but she wasn't the only one.

Kayla had sensed her before she ever saw her. The avatar stopped in her tracks when the hair on the back of her neck stood up, then slowly turned her head off to the left, in the direction where she had sensed danger. 

It was a large female, likely older than those who usually choose their riders. Just goes to show that both she and Kayla were awfully picky and determined. The ikran was a light green, close to the same colors found on reef ticks or the neon signs outside Kayla's apartment back home. Scattered across the old girl's back in complicated, intricate design was bright, extraordinary shades of purple, striking like lightning bolts across the vast, wide wings when she spread them open to show off the threat she was. Kayla smiled, teeth glimmering in the sun at the clear challenge. Both the avatar and ikran hiss at one another, showing off their fangs in the midst of the stand-off. Norm and the others stood off to the side, eyes and smiles wide in wonder, whooping and hollering in chorus as encouragement for Kayla. 

"You got this!"

"Sivako!"

The cheering sent a thrill down Kayla's spine as she began to rotate her wrist and twirl the meresh'ti cau'pla in the air, faster and faster as the stand-off drags on. She keeps her eyes trained on the ikran's, which clearly aggravated the creature to no end. Eventually, the banshee took the bait, enraged by the eye contact until she couldn't take it anymore. Jaw open wide, the ikran lunged forward with a fearless hiss, diving down to Kayla without a care in the world.

She's only given a split second to dive out of the way of those jaws before Kayla is forced to throw the frond without even aiming. Once she side-stepped, Kayla whipped the catcher around like she practiced and watched with amazement as the item dutifully stuck and wrapped firmly around the creature's jaws, clamping it shut. Thank Eywa for razor palms. 

"Yeah, Kayla, show her!" Norm cheered, blue fist raised in the air.

Kayla's mind could barely accept the fact that she got the beast muzzled in just one go before she was forced to remember that the ikran don't immediately give up after said muzzlement. Her harsh reminder came in the form of the banshee swinging its whole head back in her direction, hitting Kayla squarely in the nose, the blunt force drawing a large crunching sound to ring through the air and even make Tarsem cringe. Kayla flew backward from the impact, tumbling through the rookery and startling other ikran to fly away. Dizzy, Kayla shook her head to try to rid the fatigue and struggled to her feet, groaning in pain as she stood. With the ikran momentarily forgetting her in exchange for trying to get the muzzle off, Kayla takes the time to bring the back of her hand up to her face, pressing gently against her nose. When she drew her hand back to see, Kayla immediately recognized the blood, a crimson liquid running down her blue skin. 

The avatar snarled, death glare piercing into the ikran's flesh, "What a bitch."

It was muttered under her breath, but the ikran reacted as if she had heard it. Whipping its head back in her direction, the banshee hissed dangerously back at Kayla, lowering its neck to get in a charging stance, and rearing its wings back. Kayla didn't wait it out this time. This time, she was pissed and instead took charge, screaming in frustration as she ran full speed ahead at the creature.  

When the ikran reared her head up to possibly strike down against her opponent, Kayla took her opening and dove, just in time to miss the brunt force of the ikran's jaw hitting the dirt where Kayla had once stood. Briefly stunning the beast from the harsh impact, Kayla casually whipped her kuru braid around and stood in the juncture of the banshee's neck, and grabbed the creature's own tswin. The ikran isn't given any time to react before tsaheylu is formed, the tendrils of Kayla's queue mending with the creature's. 

"Enough!" Kayla demands out loud.

All screeches from the surrounding banshees suddenly became a buzzing white noise as everything else in the universe halted between the Na'vi and the beast. The ikran stopped struggling, her entire frame shivering in response to the bond. Kayla lets out a gust of air, exhausted and in disbelief. Behind her, she could hear Norm and the other Na'vi cheering, whilst the rest of her senses were now focused solely on her new spirit sister.

After catching her breath, Kayla lifted herself up onto her new mount, settling her legs on either side of the ikran's strong neck. Kayla runs her hands up the creature's neck, feeling a pleasant shiver run between their bond as if the ikran was mimicking a purr. Norm eventually jogged up to the pair, beaming up at them, "Wow. You made it look so easy!"

Kayla flashed an unimpressed look down at her friend, blood still dripping out of her nostrils. Norm nervously chuckled before pointing his arm out in the direction of the open sky, "Don't let me keep you waiting. The first flight cements your bond and it's best you go now rather than later. Remember what I told you."

Kayla nods, briefly thinking about how it felt to command a direhorse forward before her thoughts are interrupted by the ikran screeching in response and flapping its powerful wings. Shit, Kayla forgot the beast could hear her thoughts. She's barely given enough time to cling onto the ikran before it takes flight, nearly knocking Norm off the edge before he narrowly dodges the wings. 

For a moment, the flying felt an awful lot like falling, but not like Kayla could blame her ikran. After all, the only thing her rider could think about was her fear of falling, therefore the beast had no choice but to do just that. They fell for what felt like hours, Kayla keeping her screams inside her head as she clung onto her mount for dear life, just waiting for them to finally crash at the bottom, but it never came. By the time Kayla was brave enough to open her eyes, she realize they were still falling, not exactly calming her fear of heights. Steeling her legs and squeezing them around the ikran, Kayla yells over the wind, "Straighten out and glide!"

The ikran did as told, immediately catching the wind underneath her wings and slowing their descent, drifting peacefully through the sky instead. Kayla took a moment to catch her breath and relax her heartbeat, blinking rapidly against the brightness. Her arms shook like a leaf but she forced herself to keep her grip firmly on her banshee's two queue antennae like reins on a horse. As they soar peacefully through the air, Kayla relaxes enough to look around, but never down. Her breath is stolen by the sights-- much similar to the first time she rode an ikran as a prisoner. It was so quiet up here, unlike all the other sounds constantly in her life, like the murmurs and yips of the Omatikaya clan and the beeping machines at the biolab. Up here, no sound touched her, and Kayla felt all the muscles in her body relax.

Her ikran calls softly into the wind, grabbing her attention. The creature is far more docile now, calm and serene. The banshee ate up Kayla's attention like a cat, much to her amusement, the creature shaking her muzzle when Kayla scratched the right spot with her nails. Such a mighty, elegant creature, needs a mighty, elegant name. Kayla took a moment to ponder on a name as the soft wind brushed gently through her hair like a mother would to her child. The avatar and ikran were gliding instead of flying, but neither complained as Kayla's thoughts were elsewhere. She wanted to think of several names before she could decide on one, but for some reason, she couldn't get past the first one that came to mind without much thought process. She didn't have a clue why she thought of that name, but it came to her within a split second. It was an Earth name, but one born from Greek mythology and just as mystical as her newly found friend. It fit so well, for some reason.

Eclipse was slowly approaching so Kayla decided to turn back, telling her ikran where to go with only her mind and returning to the rookery. There, she could hear Tarsem and Norm before she could even see them as they whooped and hollered in greeting. The young warrior that traveled with them was gone, likely out flying their own new ikran, while Norm and Tarsem stayed behind to greet the new banshee riders upon their return. Kayla's descent was a little rough, like trying to feel the rollback when hitting the brakes of a car for the first time. When the ikran landed, Kayla hopped off and disengaged tsaheylu, taking a moment to run her hand over the length of the beast's neck in gratitude. 

The ikran chirped in fondness just as Norm approached with a wide grin, "What'd you think?"

"I'm speechless," Kayla beamed, adrenaline only now beginning to wear off.

Norm laughs and placed his hands on his lips, looking up and down the length of Kayla's new ride with a smile that can only be described as amazement, despite the fact that Norm's seen it all for fifteen years. Apparently, you can never really get used to it, "So! What did you decide to name her?"

Kayla shrunk in on herself, turning a little bashful while trying to hide her smile, "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise."

"Thena."

~~~~~~~~~

When Kayla and the young warrior both returned on top of their ikran, the whole clan erupted in triumph and celebration. And they were not the only ones who were happy for the new warriors. All the scientists-- both avatars and humans alike, ran out to Kayla and her ikran to either embrace her or offer their congratulations. Kayla soaked up the praise with pride, smiling from ear to ear, her tail leisurely swaying to show her contentment. Preparations for a celebration were made as night closed in, with dancing and music and several firepits all circling each other to accommodate the amount of Na'vi and humans taking up the space. Mo'at had blessed both Kayla and the young warrior for their achievements then led the dancing and songs. 

Even Kayla found herself dancing and singing willingly, despite her prior insecurities. She would get small bursts of sadness throughout the whole night, thinking if only her family could see her now. The Sullys had only been gone for a week. Had they stayed just a little bit longer, perhaps Kayla would've been able to go with them now that she achieved what was holding her back. She never had time to pity herself, however, since either a friend of hers or a complete stranger would easily pick her up and pull her into the next dance. Both Na'vi and humans danced, together in person and spirit, sharing the same ideals for the future and for once not fighting each other. 

After hours, the celebration was technically over and the Na'vi were all settling down for the night, but Norm and Kayla were far from done. Now back in their human bodies, they decide to continue drinking in celebration of Kayla's success in the confinements of her trailer. She had burst out laughing, already a little tipsy, when Norm snuck in the whiskey he stole back from Max that night. 

"Shh! You want me to get caught?" Norm snapped at her under his breath, though he, too, was smiling as he closed the air decompression door behind him, "I had been saving this bad boy for a special occasion and I'll be damned if I let Max take that from me."

They drink out of some old glassware that had been left behind in the trailer back in the war and Kayla had recently cleaned and utilized them. They drank at the small dining room table that had been dusted and cleaned once more, but Kayla had kept some of the old things in their place out of respect. She understood that Jake and Norm once spent months here, confined to these four walls with only each other for company. Well... each other and the two women Kayla now spotted from the picture lying on the table, right where she left it.

She takes a sip of her drink before sliding the picture over to Norm, placing her finger above the redhead standing behind Jake, "So is that Dr. Augustine?"

Norm took a moment to tilt his head back and swallow the remains of his whiskey before inspecting the photo. His eyes widened comically as if forgetting he had left these pictures behind when surrendering the space to Kayla, "Oh! Yeah, that's what Grace looked like."

"She's pretty," Kayla hums behind her glass, maneuvering her finger to point at the woman in the ponytail and aviators, "And her?"

Kayla carefully watched as Norm took his time answering again, his eyes carrying some sort of heavy burden while staring at the photo of the woman. He swallows down whatever emotions were swimming behind his eyes, quickly sobering up while nodding, "That's Trudy. She used to fly all us scientists around."

"So you all knew each other pretty well?"

"Yeah. She tried to fight and help the Na'vi in the end."

Kayla caught onto the past tense words and slowly tilted her head toward him, "What happened?"

"... Quaritch's ship shot her down during the battle."

The faraway look in his eye brought Kayla to the conclusion of a certain mystery she was trying to solve in her head. She solemnly nods as she states, "You guys were a thing."

"I guess," Norm shrugged, staring down at his whiskey glass with a small smile, "Enough to scar Jake for life."

"You miss her? Her and Grace, I mean?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

Norm propped both of his elbows on the table, leaning forward to inspect the picture more closely, although it was likely an excuse to hide his face from her, "Thanks."

"Wow. That sounds familiar." She tries to joke, though it falls flat on her tongue when remembering her first interaction with the man sitting in front of her. She gently nudges his elbow with hers, "We sound like two broken records."

Norm scoffs halfheartedly, "Jake didn't seem as thankful when I gave him my condolences the day we met. 'You sure you guys are related?"

Thinking back, Kayla made a small 'iffy' motion with her hand, "Jake, uh... well, he had heard it all by the time Tommy's funeral came around. Over time he got sick of hearing people say they were sorry."

"Not you?"

Kayla simply shrugged, "Not many people said sorry to me."

"What...?" Norm leaned back in his chair to get a better look at her, confused and maybe appalled, "Kayla, how old were you when Tom died?"

Her blood runs cold when she realized she had said too much. Finding it hard to look Norm in the eye, she instead focused more on watching her whiskey swirl around in the glass she gently rolled in her hand, "I think I was... maybe eighteen?"

Norm's eyes widen while doing the math in his head. And as a scientist, it wasn't hard for him to solve the puzzle that had been troubling him since he met Kayla. She was clearly younger than Jake, but for some reason, she had treated Neytiri as if the Na'vi woman was younger than her. Putting that into perspective and adding Kayla's age during the time she lost her brothers, Norm felt sick to his stomach, "And Jake left soon after?"

One single nod.

"Eighteen years old... and no one thought you needed any condolences?"

She shook her head, expression impassive, "For Jake... I guess people thought since they were twins, Tommy's death was harder on him."

The snarl Norm let out was deep-rooted and vile, "That's stupid. Seems like everywhere I go, someone puts Jake on a pedestal."

The words made her freeze, eyes slowly flicking back to Norm out of suspicion, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean--" And just like that, Norm exploded, laughing out of disgust, a side of him that Kayla had never seen, "I spent several years training for the opportunity of a lifetime. I worked my ass off to get to Pandora, to learn under Grace, to have my own avatar, and to learn and experience this world as one of the People. But then I get here and all of that is freely handed to Jake, a guy who only read a manual on neuro-links! It felt like a punch to the gut, and honestly, it felt as though Tom's memory was being flushed down the drain all because of his jarhead dropout of a brother! Jake wasn't even grateful for everything he had been handed until he met Neytiri."

Kayla's eyes briefly widened at the new bit of information, then she relaxed her expression and nodded, trying to hopefully defuse the situation, "All it takes is one person... Up until now, you didn't appear jealous of Jake."

He shook his head, "I haven't been for a while. Back then, Trudy helped. After that, I just accepted and even admired Jake. He's one of my closest friends," the compliments plummet, however, when Norm meets her eyes again, a shadow forming over his face as past years of resentment began to flood, "But after meeting you? I'm sorry. I didn't know I wasn't the only one he screwed over. But all the shit he put you through at eighteen-fucking-years-old?"

Norm abruptly stands, the chair beneath him scooting back in protest as he begins to pace the room, trying to relieve his anger somehow, but it only appeared to make it worse as his voice gradually rose, "It's not fair. It's screwed up and it only reminded me of the last time I saw Jake get everything handed to him while leaving others in the dust. Even now, he's upped and left, leaving the rest of us behind. Leaving you behind. I've never had a sister, but if I did I would rather shoot myself in the face than abandon her, especially if she was only eighteen years old!"

The small trailer rings in the aftermath of his shouting, the silence only interrupted by Norm's attempts to catch his breath. After realizing what he said, he shrunk a little and guilt immediately replaced the anger. Kayla only carefully watched him, face blank as she observed his behavior. He tries opening and closing his mouth to say something, anything. How he was sorry for his attitude toward Kayla's brother, how he shouldn't be complaining when his past doesn't compare to hers, yadda yadda yadda. But the words don't come, and even if they did, Kayla wouldn't have given him room to say anything. 

Instead, she stood up without warning and without any inclination of what her next move would be. Face still blank as paper, she took the two steps forward needed to raise her arms and proceed to pull Norm into a hug. The embrace shocked Norm at first, causing his whole posture to stiffen under her grip, but eventually, it smoothens out and he allows his arms to wrap around her, holding her back.

Kayla let out a shuddering breath, a newfound appreciation blooming in her chest for her friend. It was... nice. Nice to have someone, for once, tell her that she had every right to be angry, instead of telling her that Jake was a different man and that he would never do that to her again. It was nice to finally have someone in her corner, to tell her that her feelings matter and that she's not alone in the resentment and betrayal she felt all those years ago. She has never had anyone like that in her life since her brother Tommy died. 

For a moment, even for just a split second, she allowed herself to imagine Tommy being there for her here and now as she whispered into Norm's shirt,  "Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~

Kayla took Thena out for flights every single day, though they were not meant for fun and exercise. Thena could tell through their bond that they were on the hunt, searching for something... or someone.

They flew several different routes, always keeping their eyes downcast at the forest canopy below, hoping to catch any sign of Spider. Kayla knows that the kid could very well be strapped down in Bridgehead, but on the off chance they took him off-site, Kayla wanted to be able to spot him before he was missed again. 

Norm often tried to accompany Kayla on these flights, flying on top of August, his ikran. He couldn't fly with her every single day since he was trying to juggle this and all the work that was starting to pile up back at the lab, but he wanted to try just as hard as Kayla was to find the kid. He had watched Spider grow up, and even though he wasn't his guardian in any way shape, or form, Norm still helped raise the kid, along with all the other humans who were accepted into the Omatikaya clan. Norm cared for the kid just as much as Kayla did. Norm appreciated Kayla's loyalty and dedication to the boy, even though she had only known him for a little under half a year. She was determined to bring him home, even for the sake of her nieces and nephews. In many ways, bringing Spider back could mean that the Sullys could also come home, just as long as Spider never gave Quaritch or Ardmore any information about Jake or the High Camp. So even if Kayla didn't care about the kid -which would be a lie she could tell herself and it still wouldn't be true- it was still vital that Spider be rescued if it meant Toruk Makto could return to lead the war efforts.

Some days, Kayla couldn't be persuaded to take a break. On other days, she was so exhausted from wind burn and all-day flying, she could hardly lift a finger. On these particular days, she'd cut the neuro-link and let her avatar recover while she did work around the camp as a human. These were the days' Norm could find something to keep her mind off of things so she wouldn't someday snap and likely hurt someone, mostly herself.

Norm was beginning to run out of ideas before he stumbled across some old, recovered data that they had taken with them after evacuating Hell's Gate. When he briefly looked them over, he came across quite the nostalgic discovery that he just had to share with his new friend. Downloading the data onto a flash drive, he went in search of Kayla and easily found her in the greenhouse with Max, listening as he gave her a rundown of every plant they possessed in the manmade shack. 

Norm made his appearance known and asked Kayla if she could come back inside, "I need to show you something."

They both made sure Max had everything together to continue by himself before they made their way back into the lab, walking into the first door and waiting for the oxygen to become breathable before taking off their masks and heading inside. Norm brings her over to a private corner of the lab and wheeled out a chair in front of a computer for her as he explained, "Apparently, all of Jake's old video logs are still available, stored away in our old database. I thought... listen. After our talk the other day, I thought I should apologize for how I ranted about everything I despise about your brother. Obviously, you have a lot more to hate about him than I do and I shouldn't have made it all about me."

She scoffed, brushing off the apology like water on a duck's back, "I don't think you did."

"Even so, I'm sorry. I think you should see these video logs," Norm offered the flash drive to her, "I'm not trying to justify his actions, but I just thought you deserved to see these because, in a way, it'll catch you up to speed on everything you missed in your brother's life. And you deserve to know all about it, including the parts he left out."

She raised her eyebrows and had to blink to bring herself back to reality, remembering to reach out and take the drive from him before nodding, "... Thanks, Norm."

He left her to it, leaving her in the lab by herself for privacy. Kayla sat down in front of the monitor, her movements slow as she inserted the flash drive, waiting for the information to load with bated breath. Within moments, nearly hundreds of video logs flash over the screen, scrolling up all by itself until it got to the very top of the list, stopping right at the thumbnail of the first video log. Kayla touched the screen, clicking the first video log and it sprung to life before her very eyes. Her breath is caught when the screen reveals a younger, human Jake, sitting as if he was right across from her at the table. He stared directly at her, looking just how she remembered him before all this happened. He had buzzed his hair before leaving for Pandora and Kayla could see his tattoos peeking out from under his T-shirt. He looked like a marine, his voice kind of monotone as he spoke into the video log.

Log Entry: 01

Location: SCI MOD

Researcher: SULLY, J.

P.I.: AUGUSTINE, G.

Date: 05/19/2154

"--And the concept is that every driver is matched to his own avatar so that their nervous systems are in tune... or something. Which is why they offered me the gig because I can link with Tommy's avatar which is insanely expensive-- Is this right? I just say whatever to the video log?"

Kayla's eyes widen and a brief laugh escapes her when Jake looks over his shoulder and the camera reveals a younger Norm and Max looking back at him. They all look like babies in these videos, younger than Kayla has ever seen any of them. After the first video log, she was much more anxious to get the others started. She had gone through each and every one of them, bug-eyed most of the time but otherwise quiet as she eagerly listened to her brother's voice.

Log Entry: 12

Location: SITE 26

Researcher: SULLY, J.

P.I.: AUGUSTINE, G.

Date: 05/30/2154

This log was different compared to the rest. The setting was different and Jake looked a little different. Something had shifted in his attitude. Maybe it was the lighting or the rest of the atmosphere, but Kayla noted how her brother looked more alive than ever compared to the previous videos. Behind Jake sat a familiar red-haired woman, looking into a microscope, either completely unaware of Jake's video log or intentionally ignoring it. Kayla could briefly see Norm moving around in the background again before her attention returned to Jake as he spoke,

"Okay. This is video log twelve, time's twenty-one, thirty-two-- Do I have to do this now? I really need to get some rack."

He had turned around and Grace did not hesitate to turn him down, glaring back at him, "No, now. When it's fresh." 

Kayla snorted, amused by this older woman who knew how to straighten out her hard-headed brother. Jake turned back to the camera, huffing in annoyance just as a live version of Trudy walked past him and off-screen, "Okay, location: shack and the days are startin' to blur together. The language is a pain, but, you know, I figure it's like field-stripping a weapon. Just repetition, repetition. Neytiri calls me skxawng. It means 'moron.' Norm's attitude has improved lately. It's good he's back on board, but he thinks I'm a skxawng, too."

Kayla couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips, trying to imagine what it must've been like for Norm and Neytiri to teach a dumbfounded Jake. Neytiri always appeared complimentary when it came to teaching Kayla her ways, and Norm was more than happy to help, but with Jake, fifteen years earlier, it didn't appear that way. Kayla continued to go through each of her brother's video logs, taking notes in her head when important information popped up.

Log Entry: 42

Location: SITE 26

Researcher: SULLY, J.

P.I.: AUGUSTINE, G.

Date: 06/29/2154

"--My feet are getting tougher. I can run farther every day. I have to trust my body to know what to do. Every day it's reading the trails, the tracks at the waterhole, the tiniest scents and sounds. She's always going on about the flow of energy, the spirits of animals. I really hope this tree-hugger crap isn't on the final."

"This isn't just about eye-hand coordination out there, you know," Grace interrupted, again sitting at the microscope behind Jake, "You need to listen to what she says. Try to see the forest through her eyes."

"Excuse me. This is my video log here." Jake snipes back at her, pointing back to the camera with his thumb. He then turned back to the camera and continued. Several video logs after this were just a compilation of what Jake had learned from Neytiri every day, one after the other. 

"--With Neytiri, it's learn fast or die."

One--

"--I talked Mo'at into letting Grace into the village. It's the first time since her school was closed down."

--After the other. 

Every video log told a story, even if it was just Jake rambling on about his day. In a sense, it made Kayla feel as though she was there. She felt as though she was sitting across from him as he was telling her all the cool, new things he learned, kind of like how she used to tell him and Tommy about her day after school when she got home. 

Sometimes Jake steered away from his Na'vi teachings and would rant about the people he was practically living in that trailer site with. He talked about the sight he came across when he returned from a long day and wheeled into Trudy and Norm in a compromising position. Kayla had laughed, especially after seeing how horrified Jake looked from reiterating the story, his face paling at the memory. 

Other times, Kayla would often watch Jake drift from his thoughts, slowly shutting down from exhaustion. One video log was just Jake slowly falling asleep until he was out cold, his head leaning into his hand that he had propped up for support. It must have been late into the night and cold as Grace finally approached Jake from behind, her shawl wrapped warmly around her as she quietly leans over to inspect him. The older woman bore a fond expression, her smile small and gentle as she leans over Jake to turn off the camera, ending the video log.

Kayla would smile at those moments. She appreciated Grace in more ways than one now. She felt as though she knew so much more about Dr. Augustine than she did before, and in a way, Kayla was able to get to know her the same way Kiri did, by watching her in videos like this one. Seeing a past version of Kiri's birth mother just casually walking around in the background of Jake's video logs felt so domestic and at the same time haunting. Grace never knew Kayla, yet the older woman was putting a smile on her face, even in death. Kayla made a mental note to one day find a way to thank this woman for everything she had done for Jake.

When there were happy videos, there were also heavy ones, reminding Kayla of her reality and the world she now lives in.

"--I'm trying to understand this deep connection the People have to the forest. She talks about a network of energy that flows through all living things. She says 'All energy is only borrowed, and one day you have to give it back.'"

Log Entry: 87

Location: SITE 26

Researcher: SULLY, J.

P.I.: AUGUSTINE, G.

Date: 08/13/2154

Jake looks tired, thinner, and has an unkempt beard in this video log. Kayla could hardly recognize him. Even on Earth, he never allowed himself to look this bad. His words are as heavy as the bags under his eyes, "Everything is backward now. Like out there is the true world and in here is the dream. It's hard to believe it's only been three months. I can barely remember my old life. I don't know who I am anymore. They're not gonna give up their home. They're not gonna make a deal. For what? Lite beer? And blue jeans? There's nothing that we have that they want. Everything they sent me out here to do is a waste of time. They're never gonna leave Hometree."

Yet again, Kayla felt as though she was actually there, experiencing it all through Jake's eyes. He makes several more videos, talking about every event that led up to the battle, then the videos are abruptly cut off. The next and supposed final video was dated days later after the fight was over. Kayla felt her eyes water as Jake spoke of Grace, Trudy, and even Tsu'tey's deaths, along with several others, but she firmly kept her emotions in check, not allowing a single tear to fall. Jake tells all the events he could remember happening during the battle, then spoke of the aftermath. 

Log Entry: 98

Location: LINK CENTER

Researcher: SULLY, J.

P.I.: AUGUSTINE, G.

Date: 08/24/2154

"--The aliens went back to their dying world. Only a few were chosen to stay. The time of great sorrow was ending. Toruk Makto was no longer needed. Well, uh, I guess this is my last video log. 'Cause whatever happens tonight, either way, I'm... I'm not gonna be coming back to this place. Well, I guess I'd better go. I don't want to be late for my own party. Yeah, it's my birthday, after all. This is Jake Sully signing off."

Kayla had let out a long, gust of air, leaning back in her seat to process all of this. Looking around, she noticed the sky outside the biolab getting darker, close to eclipse. She must have been sitting there for hours as her back and legs began to scream at her. She groans, ready to stand up and move around before she looked back at the screen and froze.

There were more video logs after that.

The thumbnail for the next one made Kayla freeze. Instead of the Jake she knew growing up, she could clearly see the face of his avatar, piercing yellow eyes staring directly back at her. Her eyes flick over to the date, noting that the next one is only a few weeks after the last log. Her fingers shake as she moves over to click on it, letting the video come to life.

Sure enough, the Jake she had been learning to know sat in front of her, or more so the camera. He wasn't in any environment she recognized, the camera was now placed in front of scenery of trees and plant life. Jake looked to be alone, no one wandering around behind him, as he sat his tall self down on top of a large root sticking out of the ground, facing the camera while his ears flick nervously, "I, uh... I guess I have a bit of explaining to do. I thought I was done making these video logs, but... if there's any chance that this data finds its way back to Earth, I... I wanted this to somehow get to my sister."

Kayla's eyes widen, fingers growing cold as Jake spoke, and this time, he spoke directly at her, "Hi, Kayla. You probably don't recognize me but in case you haven't been told, it's your brother, Jake. I have so much to tell you if you haven't already been told. Needless to say, I can walk again, just not in the body you're used to seeing me in. I'm healthy, I'm the leader of my clan, I have friends, and... I'm gonna be a father pretty soon."

Kayla sucks in a sharp bit of air, eyes starting to water again as he continued, "I just thought you might wanna know. I understand if you don't. If you could, I bet you would tell me to go to Hell, but... if there's a chance that you can see this, or even hear this, I just wanna let you know how I'm doing. Alright. Uh... Jake Sully, signing off."

The video barely has time to stop before Kayla is greedily clicking on the second one, not hesitating this time. A nonconsensual smile graces her lips the second the next video plays, revealing a small, Na'vi baby settled peacefully in Jake's arms as he spoke, his voice so soft and gentle, Kayla barely recognized him.  

"Hey, Kayla. I thought you'd want to meet your nephew," he tries his best to lift the sleeping baby up to the camera without disturbing the child, and Kayla takes the time to count all of the baby's fingers and toes, recognizing the baby immediately before Jake could properly introduce him, "This is Neteyam."

A tear slips down her cheek as Kayla smiles uncontrollably. Jake obviously can't tell by her reaction and continues to monologue as he brings the baby to nestle back in his arms and stare down at him like he was the most precious thing in the world, "Neytiri named him. It means 'not the end' or something like that. She wanted his name to be a sign of new beginnings after everything we've been through. A sign of new life after war. It's a good name. I like it because it's similar to hers. He looks very much like his mama, don't you, little man?"

He cooed softly to the baby, who made no noise or reaction, still very much asleep. Jake's smile is so contagious, it was hard for Kayla to stop. Jake finally looks away from the child and stares directly at the camera, "I guess I'm a dad now, huh? Not sure whose bright idea was that. Who would've thought? Anyway... I hope you're safe wherever you are, Kay. And I hope, somehow, you know that you're an aunt now. I'll try and make more video logs as Neteyam gets older for you. Okay... Jake and Neteyam Sully, signing off."

She immediately wipes away her tears just as another video pops up. This time, the baby that Jake's holding has more hair and even has eyebrows and more fingers and toes. Jake practically holds the child up to the camera with just one arm, making sure his hand was supporting the back of the neck so Kayla could get a better look at the baby's face.

jake was beaming, proud and joyful, "Hey, Kayla. Meet Kiri. She's technically not mine by blood, but Neytiri and I adopted her. I'm not sure if I've mentioned or if you know about her, but Kiri belongs to my friend, Grace. She... she's unable to care for her, so we decided to step up and love her as our own."

Kayla felt her heart melting at how gentle Jake was for Grace's child. As Kiri begins to fuss, Jake brings his undivided attention to her, whispering softly, "Isn't she beautiful? Hey, baby girl, shh, it's okay. Kiri's name means 'light' I think, but it's also similar to Grace's Na'vi name."

Jake looks back at the camera, smiling and ranting like one would when telling someone their favorite subject in school, "You see, the Na'vi don't have the letter 'G' in their alphabet so they substitute it with a letter that sounds similar. 'Grace' in Na'vi is 'Kìreysì'. 'Same goes for my name. The Na'vi don't have the letter 'J' either. My name is technically Tsyeyk. I guess if you were here, your name might stay the same, I'm not sure. They have all the letters of your name in-- you know what, never mind. Even Kiri looks bored."

Kayla laughs as Jake holds Kiri up to the camera again, "I suppose that's it for now. This is Jake and Kiri Sully, signing off."

The next video is yet again, a different baby. This one also has eyebrows and ten fingers and toes, but it wasn't Kiri. This one's hair was shorter and their limbs were everywhere, unable to stay still in Jake's arms. Jake, on the other hand, was getting a kick out of it, even when the baby kicks his ribcage, "Kayla... this is Lo'ak. He's a feisty one. Neteyam and Kiri are still so little, it's a little odd to have another one already, but it's nice to have them all so close in age. I don't think they understand that they have a little brother now. I tried naming this one instead of Neytiri this time and I don't think it's half bad. So I think lo'a means 'amulet' and Lo'akur means 'Toruk Makto Amulet' which... if you don't already know, I'm also called Toruk Makto. It's a long story."

Jake's smile is soft and yet... sad at the same time, "He's... already so much like me, or at least that's what Neytiri says. It's both exciting and terrifying. Can you imagine? A little mini-me running around? Pandora's gonna have some problems."

Kayla rolls her eyes but in good faith, smiling as Jake holds Lo'ak up to the camera for her to get a better look, "That's all for now. Jake and Lo'ak Sully, signing off."

The video changes again, but this time, the dates are further apart and Jake looks as though he's aged a bit. In his arms is, yet again, another baby, but she's smaller and bears Na'vi traits like Neteyam. Jake's voice is soft while lifting the sleeping baby to the camera, "Tuktirey. Ain't she a cute one? The kids can't pronounce her name right so we just call her Tuk. The closest Lo'ak has gotten is Tuk-Tuk. She came as a surprise. Neytiri and I didn't know if we were gonna have any more rugrats."

Kayla laughs at the reference, immediately silencing herself when Tuk began to cry. For a moment, Kayla thought she had woken the baby before stupidly remembering that this was a video of the past. As Tuk cried, Jake shushed her gently, patting her bottom and holding her in the crook of his neck. He had become more of an expert between video logs. Jake chuckled to himself before looking at the camera, "I guess we'll have to cut this one a little short. This is Jake and Tuk Sully, signing off."

Thinking that would be it as Kayla got to the last of her brother's kids, she stood up to stretch. Turning around to try and relieve the stress in her back, she froze when she heard another video begin to play, "Kayla... I'm sorry."

Whipping back around, Kayla saw Jake, alone, sitting in front of the camera. He's older, yet again, as he rubbed his face tiredly, struggling to get the words out, "I miss you, Kayla. I miss you so much. I wish I could find a way to reach out to you. I wish I had taken you with me. You would've loved it here. I... I just hope that wherever you are, you're safe and you're happy."

Despite her resentment, Kayla's heart breaks seeing her brother like this, broken and regretful. Jake clears his throat, trying to rid it of emotions while his gaze shifts uncomfortably, tail wagging nervously behind him. He was looking around as if afraid he would be caught before whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You deserve better. You deserve a brother like Tommy instead of the asshole you got stuck with. I don't regret leaving Earth. Staying there any longer would have killed me. But leaving you there was my ultimate regret. I failed you as a brother, and watching my boys love their sisters unconditionally is a constant reminder of that. I don't want my boys to end up like me. I want them to be their own person, to stop trying to be like their father who would abandon his sister at the drop of a hat."

He sucks in a sharp breath, the words clearly making an impact on him as his tail and ears lower in distress. Jake had always been one of those people who couldn't cry unless he finally said certain words out loud to make those emotions a reality. As long as he didn't say anything, he wouldn't cry, like when Tommy died. He hadn't said a word during the funeral, but Kayla has expected it from him. He didn't cry when their parents died and he didn't say a word back then, knowing he would.

His breathing is shaky when he tried regaining a bit of composure, looking off to the side instead of directly at Kayla, "I miss you... I wish you were here."

The video ends and it's finally the end of the logs. Kayla checks the date of the last video log and realized it was filmed almost a year before she arrived on Pandora. She was already on the way. 

Kayla sighs through her nose, in and out, "I miss you, too."

~~~~~~~~~

Norm never asked what she found on those video logs and Kayla never said. Instead, she got back to work finding Spider. Again, Norm would join her on occasion, but realistically he couldn't as long as she could. Norm had tried finding the link limits between a driver and their avatar but hadn't been as successful as Kayla. She's proven she could go far and beyond with the link, going days without breaking it. Perhaps it stems from whatever soldiers learn during military training. All that discipline tends to stick around for a long time, and perhaps that discipline is why Kayla can resist the urge of jumping between human and avatar. Norm once told her that Jake's record in the neuro-link was sixteen hours straight, to which she scoffed and puffed out her chest, "Amateurs, the lot of ya."

Most of the time, Kayla is flying by herself, her, and Thena, constantly searching for Spider and sometimes not returning home for days at a time. She knew it was suicide to fly anywhere near Bridgehead, so she had to spread her search elsewhere. But knowing Ardmore, she wasn't stupid enough to keep Spider anywhere other than their headquarters.

Kayla would spend countless sleepless nights looking for the kid, and every day she was left disappointed, losing hope little by little. Lost in her haunted thoughts, she nearly falls off of Thena when she suddenly receives a call from her earpiece, shattering the calm, muted winds around her. 

"Dirty Falcon to Desert Fox, do you copy?" Norm's call sign rings through and Kayla hurries to answer, pressing her fingers to her throat mic.

"I copy, Dirty Falcon, over."

"Send your air traffic, over."

Kayla takes a glance down at the compass she now had attached to the bottom of her songcord "About twenty clicks west, over."

"Report back ASAP. We got a call coming in from Devil Dog, over."

Her blood runs cold, the very mention of Jake making Kayla worried that something was very, very wrong, "Copy that, Dirty Falcon. I'm Oscar-Mike, over and out."

She turned Thena around so fast the ikran hissed at her with distaste, despite feeling the urgency through their bond. Kayla had commanded her banshee to fly as fast as she could with the promise of large slabs of meat later. And no ikran can say no to a tasty bribe like that. Thena flew as fast as the wind could carry her, and within no time, they returned to High Camp. A horn is blown to warn people of her arrival and to let people know she was a friend and not a foe. Before Thena could properly land, Kayla was already disconnecting tsaheylu and jumping down, her feet landing on the floor of the cave mouth gracefully. Her eyes had not looked anywhere else other than the gunship covered in warpaint being loaded up with what looked to be a lot of medical supplies. Humans and avatars were assisting one another with the task and so Kayla beelined for them, immediately spotting Norm in his avatar.

"What's going on?"

"Kiri had a seizure."

Kayla's heart plummets, "What?!"

"Kiri had a seizure and she hasn't woken up," Norm was in scientist mode, serious and logical as he goes around packing up some last-second supplies, "Jake has asked us to come and help her in case the tsahik of the Metkayina can't do anything."

The Metkayina? This was the first Kayla has heard about any of this. Was this where Jake had taken his family? With nothing else on her mind other than Kiri, Kayla firmly nods her head, "What can I do?"

Max walks up to the towering avatars, face mask on and ready to fly, "I think it would be best if you flew separately on Thena. If the Metkayina village sees a rogue gunship flying toward their home, they might turn us away if Jake's unable to stop them. With an ikran by our side, we'll have a better chance of landing and helping Kiri."

"Okay. Let's go."

A/N: The reason why I named Kayla's ikran Thena is the same reason Kayla named her… because it was the first name that came to me at the top of my head and for some reason, it stuck. It just felt right. singing It's tiiiime to meet the love interestssss!!! Next chapter :) Thank you for the support and for hanging on so long!

#tsamsiyu ta'em fic #ronal x tonowari x oc #ronal x oc x tonowari #ronal x oc #ronal x tonowari x reader #ronal x reader x tonowari #ronal x reader #tonowari x ronal x reader #ronal x tonowari #tonowari x ronal x oc #tonowari x oc x ronal #tonowari x oc #ronal #tonowari #tonowari imagine #ronal imagine #tonowari x reader #tonowari fanfic #ronal fanfic #tonowari x reader x ronal #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar imagine #atwow #atwow fic #atwow imagine #atwow fanfiction #avatar 2009 #james cameron avatar #avatar fic

[kleefkruid]

Hello, I hope this isn't an awkward or rude ask, feel free to ignore tho, but I've been tentatively interested in polyam, but more specifically being in a relationship with two partners I love and cherish. I've seen a lot of posts say that this isnt how polyam stuff works tho and I have no touch stone other than my own lovey dovey fantasies, but I know you're polyam and I figured I'd ask what I should think of and or expect out of a polyam relationship? How does it all work? I hope I explained what I mean well enough. Thank you for your time!

Hi! I'm assuming by the way you worded this you're talking about a triad, a relationship where you are dating two people and they're also dating each other.

I'm gonna go into a few points here 1. triads and their prevalence 2. unicorn hunting, what is it and why is everyone yelling 3. how to 'look for a 3rd' in a not-terrible way 4. a little something else about polyam relationship dynamics

Triads exist! But it's true that outsiders assume it's the standard, as you'll notice in pop culture most poly people are triads, and also here on tumblr as a fanfic trope it's also very prevalent.

But in reality triads are not too common simply for the sheer statistic probability. You have to find someone you like, they have to like you. You also have to find someone else you like who also likes you. Then that first person must also like your second person, and your second person must also like your first person! And then after all this, you have 3 relationships (you+b, you+c, b+c) and you still have to find a way to make the 4th relationship dynamic work (you+b+c). Personally, none of my partners or other people I was connected with, have dated other people I'd wanna date. It's usually people I think are cool, good looking and I want them in my life, but they're not people I wish to date. All triads I have spoken or read their stories have kind off stumbled into it. Usually someone was already dating person b, starts dating person c, and by happenstance person b and c do find this connection. So, it happens, it's great when it happens, but it's just not likely purely bc of chance.

2. When talking about this, I have to quickly get into unicorn hunters, because you will run into this term, and you have some overzealous polyam people who will throw this at any person walking into the scene (looking at you, certain message boards) You might think allright, I'll start with finding my person B, and together we'll look around until we find someone we both like! And this is a fine idea, truly (*I am pushing a yelling crowd away at this point*) but there is a certain type of couple that have made this method veeeeery unpopular (and are responsible for like, 90% of the shit polyam people get online), and you have to make sure you're not those people, and then you'll be fine. This specific kind of couple is what people mean when they use the term unicorn hunters. Scenario: You have a mono couple. Usually a straight man and a bisexual/curious woman. They decide they want to dip their toes into polyamory. No problems at this point, although going from mono to poly is a whole post on it's own. But the man doesn't want another man in the relationship, he like the idea of having two girlfriends though, and his girlfriend is interested in girls anyway, so let's look for a girlfriend for us both! This girl they are looking for is what is jokingly refered to as a unicorn. Because they're looking for a bisexual woman (already a specific subgroup) who is poly (again, upping the rarity) who likes them both, equially, and who likes to be barraged by two complete strangers who are like "hey do you want to date us both or maybe have a threesome and see where is goes" A lot of these couples can be to forward (hence the 'hunting' part), because they don't know the dynamics of the poly scene they walked in, but they're usually also not knowlegable about the basics of the queer scene. They're the couples that message lesbians, not seeing how that's fucked up. Often the girl will match with someone on lesbian tinder, who's often not even poly, mind you, and then go "by the way, this is my boyfriend, wanna have a threesome?" If someone enters a relationship with those two, they're often treated as an assesory, lower on the ladder, and they're not allowed to date other people. It's pretty much universally a bad experience for the so called unicorn. It's a stereotype sure, but it's a really fucking prevalent one and any poly person has run into them, every wlw, whether they're poly or not, will have to slap they away when they enter any online dating or even when just existing. So that's why just being a couple looking for a 3rd, even if you're being perfectly respectful (which again, possible) will get an aggressive response in poly cirlces, because we all get the flak that's meant for those people. Lot's of people, especially again mono lesbians, don't even want to associate with me when they hear I'm poly bc of these people, while we get ecually harassed, but in their eyes, that's what poly people are, even though they're misbehaving tourists at best.

3. Now, I have talked about probability, what you shouldn't do, but this leaves the question, what should you do?

Firstly, take it easy, what needs to happen will happen. If you're interested in being polyam, just start with that. Dip your toes into the water without having a route or destination mapped out. If you get a better feel about how it is to be polyam and what the dynamics are like, it will be easier to figure out if being poly is something you want to really get into, and what you want from it. It's a learning process like anything is. Mono peoples first dating will differ wildly to the long term relationship they're in years later. It's just like that, again.

Practical, finding people. I recommend looking on poly specific dating websites. I met my current partner on feeld. The fun thing about feeld is that you can connect your current partners profile to yours. So you're matching people on your own, but you can be like: this is my other partner btw. Feeld is open for both people looking on their own, or couples. And people communicate in their bio what kind of thing they're after. You can also connect your partner for funsies without looking for a 3rd, the connected profiles I see are about 50/50. There are other poly or poly-friendly apps but I have not tried them so you'll have to ask around about those!

tinder: If you make a profile for yourselves just start with saying you're poly in your bio. If people give you shit after you were clear from the start, that's they're problem and they're just being an ass. If you're dating on your own, I would also mention this so people don't think some 2nd person will jump in after you match. I have succesfully dated on tinder as a poly person. I mentioned that I was poly, that I was dating one other person and that we were not looking for people together. I didn't have any mishaps with that. If you're dating and looking together: making a couple profile on tinder, I don't recommend, because again, people will take you for unicorn hunters even if you are not. If you're different genders you'll also get into the space of people who don't want to see you, like an m/f couple getting into a women only space. If you're a w/w couple or a m/m couple you can get into those spaces genreally, especially the mlm community is pretty open to open relationships (hehe) but be clear about what you're doing (start your bio with this) and leave people alone who aren't looking for poly/threesomes/whatever. People who are open to this will usually communicate this clearly. (I'm just talking about men and women here and not going into any kind of gender fluidity bc let's be real there's no dating website that has an ideal system in place when you're non-binary, so that's a bit of a case by case situation) If you're dating and looking together nr. 2: Don't walk up to strangers in bars. Just don't do it. Plain. Simple. You can meet irl people, but don't do it with this intent.

4. about polyam dynamics.

When you get into poly dating, you'll discover more relation dynamics (I get into solo-poly and relationship anarchy here, look into that). You'll figure out that a hinge relationship, like this:

is also a relationship between 3 people. You're not all romantically involved, but all relationships (family/friends/romance) are equially worthwile, and sometimes the lines will blur. I have friends I love a bit, I have friends I have sex with, I have friends I'll never have sex with. I'll love a metamour (partner of my partner) for the love they give my partner, but I don't want to date them. Maybe someday I'll have a metamour I do want to date. You can also have 3 people who all are dating each other, but do it sperately and don't want to turn it into a relationship between all 3 of them together. You have people who form a family and live together, but not all of them date each other. You have people who'll always live alone regardless of the people they're dating; Everything is possible, if you just communicate clearly and have the maximum respect for everyone involved.

I hope this little 1.0.1 thing was a bit helpful to you, if you have any more questions feel free to ask. It's a wide subject that can (and has) filled entire books but I'll try to give an intro as good as I can

#polyam #polyamory #poly #ask

[rainbow-femme]

So obviously I love just how much LGBTQ+ media exists now, and how much media has LGBTQ+ characters in it, but something Gen Z and later generations will never experience is being so desperate for anything that you end up finding the weirdest gay indie movies imaginable, watching them once at 2 am and then never seeing them again, and being haunted by the half remembered plots because you cannot for the life of you track them down again

So I would like to give you that experience vicariously through two of the ones I watched over a decade ago. If you recognize these please let me know I would love to track them down

The first was about this French gay dude in America who was marrying a lesbian friend to get a green card, and his boyfriend is like

“Hey babe my sibling is coming to town and going to stay with us.”

And the French guy goes “That seems like a bad idea, on account of you telling me that every time they come into town they become super toxic and make you the worst version of yourself and ruin your life.”

And the boyfriend is like “Ok but what are the odds that would happen again.”

The sibling I’m going to use they/them for because in an example of wonderful handling of trans characters, this person continually changes their mind about their gender, which is fine, except they keep managing to get full sex change surgeries every time it happens which is absolutely wild to me because it’s implied they have fully transitioned multiple times. They come into town having had a full MTF transition to the point of both top and bottom surgery and hormones but they’ve decided they’re a man again so they want a place to crash while they have a full FTM transition and I feel like I vividly remember them saying something about finding a doctor who can make them a pair of testicles. Like, specifically testicles was what they brought up, no other bits, this doctor apparently only made and attached artificial testicles and this character decided to start there

So naturally they start isolating the boyfriend from everyone by convincing him that everyone is out to get him and his French boyfriend sucks and is holding him back to the point that the boyfriend I’m pretty sure starts physically abusing the French guy along with other emotional abuse

And the story culminates in the two of them tipping off immigration about the green card marriage and literally get this dude deported, like he is handcuffed and put into a car and taken away, and also probably screwing over the lesbian friend who had agreed to marry him after the boyfriend had asked her to do it to help them

And as the car is driving away the boyfriend looks at the sibling and gives a “Nuh uh, I’m done with you” head shake and starts chasing after the car the French dude is in only to be hit by a different car and presumably killed

And that’s it, that’s the movie

The second is probably my favorite half remembered middle of the night gay movie

It’s about two lesbian friends who seem to be trying out dating each other to see if the relationship would work, and they end up meeting a group of BDSM lesbians who go “Uh, didn’t anyone tell you that lesbians don’t do monogamy anymore? We’re all polyamorous and have BDSM subculture personalities that we live in 24/7, that’s the only way to be a lesbian”

(Side note I don’t think this movie is actually bad about BDSM or polyamory stuff, it’s more about how people just coming out can easily get sucked into doing what they think they should and end up unhappy and over their heads in order to fit what a “real [X] person” looks or acts like. The characters who legitimately enjoy the lifestyle seem to be written in a good way based off my 10+ year old memory of my single viewing)

So the two lesbians decide that one is going to full time be a Daddy personality and the other will be a Little Girl personality, and they can sleep with whoever they want except the Daddy one can’t sleep with a different Little Girl or vice versa because that’s cheating

And this movie was so good because these two had 100% no knowledge of what they were actually supposed to do in BDSM situations and just kept acting like they did and the people in the scenes were like “… Ok, I guess I’ll trust you’re going somewhere with this?” and they never were, they were always just stalling for time

The best example is when the Little Girl one met a butch sub who was a Little Boy, I guess, and she wanted to do a three way with the Little Boy and the Daddy, and again they take things pretty literally so in the scene they’re like “ok you’re my dad and this is my son so that means you’re his grandpa.” And the Daddy one again has no idea what to do when genuinely faced with an experienced sub so she goes “Um, let’s make him sit in a box?” so they get a comically small box and make the sub squat down in it but again they have no idea what to do next and it culminates in the Little Girl saying she’s being drawn between the Daddy one she had been into before all of this and the Little Boy one she just met which pisses off the Daddy one so she leaves, fully confusing the Little Boy sub who thought that was all part of the scene

And then the Daddy one decides if the other is gonna have a new person she will too and she finds a super experienced femme domme and tries to flirt by pretending to be a dog and bringing her something in her mouth and the femme domme is just like “Ok A. I know you’re not actually into this so I’m not going to do anything to you because you wouldn’t like it, but also B. Even if you were I am so far above your experience level you would not be able to take it. So WTF is your problem cut it out.”

And there’s like a BDSM spin the bottle where you kiss or smack or lick the boot of whoever you land on and the Daddy one kisses a different Little Girl which pisses of the original Little Girl so she storms off so the Daddy One fully sleeps with the second one, and then gets in a fight with the original one over how one cheated because she got with the same archetype as the other but the other also cheated because she actually got feelings for someone else

And somehow they resolve everything and the story ends with them turning this into a performance art piece. You don’t see the actual performance art, probably because the writers wanted them to get wild applause but couldn’t think of a performance art piece based on this that would actually earn wild applause so you just see them being applauded while wearing a bunch of ties and jackets and scarves and stuff to I guess symbolize them trying to be things they weren’t

And then you see the butch sub getting whipped or spanked or something by the femme domme to show that everyone got their happily ever after

Heartstopper is great and all but they just don’t make ‘em like that anymore

#again if anyone recognizes these please let me know I want to see how much of what I remember is correct #gay movies #gay media #queer movies #queer media

[majesticcorn2000]

ok im kinda pissed off and i think everyone should know about it

first of all, im fully aware that verbalase is a huge dickhead. like, no doubt. but all of you are focusing on that amv commission too much instead of him spreading queerphobia self-shipping is nice, nothing wrong with that. why people don't talk about verbalase being a bigot? every post about him i see talks about that animation and how it is very inappropriate due to the fact that he is married or something like that. who fucking cares if he has a wife? who fucking cares about what his wife would say? sorry but it seems like you're projecting. i'm fine if my partner loves a fictional character more than me. i will never be jealous because i know that he loves me no matter what. same goes for him, he is chill about me loving my favorite character more than him. he isn't mad or upset either!! my love for my partner and my love for a character can co-exist!!!!!!! it's ok to be like that!!! this is called "a healthy relationship", good morning!!!!!!!!! and who fucking cares if charlie has a gf? first of all, as far as i know she is bi. second, polyamory exists. and third. the most important. why do you care about it at all??????? are we out of the problems here???????????? people freaking out about spending so much money on that amv are weird. did you know that animation is expensive. if a person can and want to spend so much money on it, it's okay. don't act like you wouldn't like to get a three minutes long animation with your fav character and your self-insert for the love of chirst, talk about verbalase being an asshole to queer people. just because he is a douchebag it doesn't mean you can shit on him for self-shipping. i truly believed that we were trying to kill cringe culture, but looking at how the majority of the internet is acting now proves the opposite. if you think i'm trying to support him here, you're just fucking stupid. all i'm doing here is pointing at you choosing the wrong reason to hate him for, and if your mind can't comprehend this thought, then i don't even know how to explain it in more simple words to you.

#sheila talks #i'm so fucking mad right now #speak about his transphobia and homophobia instead!!! what the fuck is wrong with you #it just seems to me that you would judge LITERALLY EVERYONE who loves self-ship even if they're not an asshole #which is actually very mean of you

[pansyfemme]

i think people are too quick to say that things like kink and polyamory are not inherintly queer bc cishet people sometimes partake in them. because like. maybe its just me, but i tend to think that if something is commonly practiced by queer people, has most of its origins in queer spaces and is intertwined with queer history, subverts cisheteronormative sexual norms, that kinda. makes it queer by nature. That’s not saying everyone who participates in that is queer themselves, but they are queer concepts. If the possibility that a cishet person could hypothetically do something instantly disqualifies every other tie to queerness, i’d consider thinking a bit deeper about the purpose of drawing that line. It’s not really me feeling that cishet people are queered by the experience, that is up to them to decide, i’m just a guy making a tumblr post, i don’t decide that shit. It’s not me feeling like I need to point out that it is simply easier to distance the queerness someone feels safe in versus what they find uncomfortable by simply removing the queer label from it rather than accepting that queerness can sometimes be confusing. It may be difficult to draw the line between what is queer or not, so you do it. You can’t figure out how to divide things, and so you divide them. It’s much harder to accept that perhaps that’s not the point of all this. I do feel that someone can participate in queer subculture and not hold an identity they consider queer. Body peircing has a history as a gay kink subculture, and yet not every person with body pericings is queer. It is still a queer concept with a queer history anyway. Queer spaces, queer concepts, queer community exists on an understanding of non-universiality. There is a simple knowledge that queerness, by nature, exists outside of traditional norms. And in a beautiful circular movement, these queer areas, founded on variance, vary themselves.

[magioffire]

rpc i think we need to have a little talk about misconceptions surrounding polyamory after the shit show last night

not all polyamorous relationships are open relationships. polyamorous is not a fancy word for 'free for all'. poly people can and do have closed relationships.

polyamory is not synonymous with religious polygamy. no one is mandating you into a polygamy unless youre in some kind of cult sect or a religious group that actively practices such things. consentual relationships between adults is a lot different from mandated polygamy brought on by religious or political authoritarianism. monogamy and polygamy both have been utilized to oppress and control people throughout history. non-consensual arranged monogamous marriages anyone? that shit still happens to this day.

polyamory is not a fancy word for 'lack of commitment'. if anything, it takes more commitment to support a romantic relationship with multiple people

polyamory is not inherently more abusive than monogamy. this is just straight up just not true from a statistics standpoint, polyamorous relationships are not any more abusive than monogamous relationships. and since there are just more monogamous relationships out there, the chances for abuse to occur in monogamous relationships is just simply higher. as the stigma against polyamory fades, more people are going to attempt it. just like how when theres more dogs, more people get bit by dogs -- doesnt suddenly make dogs evil (tho some people would argue that for some breeds). your relationship status or mode does not indicate how good or bad of a person you are.

polyamory is not cheating. as with any relationship, in order for it to be healthy, there must be boundaries and respect for your partner/s. people in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships cheat. cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality or your relationship preferences. no sexuality or relationship state inherently makes a person more likely to cheat. its like implying bisexual people are more likely to cheat because of their sexuality.

humans are not 'wired' for monogamy. this is bioessentialism. no one is arguing that monogamous relationships arent common among humans, but saying we are 'wired' to be monogamous implies that polyamory is somehow an unnatural state. which stinks of the same sort of bigotry of 'homosexuality isnt natural/humans are wired for heterosexuality'.

'i have nothing against polyamory, but i dont want it forced on me' is a dogwhistle for 'i dont want polyamorous people to exist in my general direction' and if you said that about any other group of people, it would obviously be a bigoted stance. 'i have nothing against gay people, but i dont want their gayness forced on me'. you see how fucked up that sounds? no one is holding a gun to your head saying you have to be in a polyamorous relationship.

the internet has made people forget how to mind their own business. it has also made people forget that just because something makes you personally uncomfortable doesnt mean you have to create some sort of moral justification for your hatred and fear. its a common tactic among troll and extremist political groups to prey upon people's discomfort and fear and turn it into hatred (kink at pride discourse anyone?). outrage culture is very real and 'alternative' or non-mainstream lifestyles and people have always been a target for this. it is nothing new, it is just the same old bigotry given a new fresh coat of paint. learn to sit with your discomfort, because its ultimately a you problem, not an everyone else's problem. people are not obligated to change or make themselves smaller to uphold your comfort. a boundary is not an ultimatum you place upon other people, its something you place upon yourself. people existing and living their lives is not forcing anything upon you.

#ooc. #ok im not talking about this anymore sorry!! back to this money #but it really bothered me and honestly made me feel kinda unsafe that theres people out there that think this way #like i would expect this sort of mentality to be on reddit or twitter. not tumblr lol #long post cw #discourse cw #okay to reblog

[honeyhotteoks]

into the aurora - chapter eleven (ot8)

chapter eleven: like the first day of school

chapter summary: your first day at kq is just about as chaotic as you expected

warnings: nothing specific for this chapter, just first day at a new job jitters!

pairings: ot8 x reader

genre: fluff, angst, romance, ateez ensemble x reader, polyamory, non-idol!reader, fem!reader, eventual smut

word count: 5.4K

(previous chapter) (next chapter) | AO3 | masterlist

              For the second time you wipe off your fresh coat of lipstick with a tissue and sigh, everything just feels too bold. You want to find that perfect middle place between fitting in and standing out for your first day and every color feels like you’re trying too hard. Outside your doors things are still quiet, you had gotten up even earlier than usual, your nerves jolting you awake almost an hour before your alarm.

              You look over your outfit again in detail using the floor length mirror against the side wall of your room, a pair of wide leg dark green trousers and a fitted black top. Your hair is already styled, and you have a light, natural coat of makeup on. You settle on a lip balm instead and try to stop being so critical. Slipping your feet into a pair of cream house slippers, you slide open your bedroom door and head towards the kitchen to meet Yeosang.

              He’s already seated at the bar, and it feels comforting to include him as part of your morning routine, something already necessary and essential, just like your yoga time and quiet meditation. He’s uniquely calm and his disposition blends perfectly into the energy that you’ve carefully curated for your mornings over the years.

              “Morning,” he says without turning around, his nose predictably in the book in front of him.

              You stop short when you see a cup of steaming coffee waiting for you next to him. You slide into the seat and lean against him, “Hey,”

              Without lifting his eyes, he reaches with his opposite hand and rests it against your arm, “One second…” he trails off.

              You crane your neck to read over his shoulder for a moment, seeing that he’s at the end of a chapter. With a sigh you stay leaning warmly against him, shoulder to shoulder, and start to nurse your first cup of coffee. He finishes quickly and shuts his book, sliding it to the side and turning his head to look at you where you lean against him.

              “You’re already dressed,” he observes.

              “I’ve been awake a while,”

              “Are you alright?” He leans further around you to try and meet your eyes.

              “Yeah,” you assure him, “just first day nerves,”

              “Ah,” he slides his arm around you and tucks you closer into his chest, coaxing you to lean on him further despite the slightly uncomfortable angle of the chairs.

              “Yeosang,” you murmur up to him, “do you think…”

              When you don’t continue, he gives you a soft squeeze and nudges you, urging you to continue without having to say anything.

              “Do you think I’ll fit in with everyone?” your words come out in a fast rush.

              His laugh is immediate, perfectly punctuated with a light slap against the granite counter, “That’s stupid,” he says.

              When he doesn’t elaborate, you pull away and turn to look at him fully, “What?”

              “That’s so stupid,” he repeats shaking his head, still laughing.

              You swallow, you’re already pre-existing nerves forming a tight ball in your throat. “I,” you start to say but you feel like if you keep talking your voice will crack. You look down, gripping your coffee.

              “Oh,” realization dawns on him like a thunderclap, “Oh no, no, wait,”

              “Yeo, it’s fine,” you brush it off and clear your throat, turning in your chair so that you’re facing the counter.

              “I didn’t mean it like that at all,” he says, serious now, “I meant you shouldn’t feel that way,”

              “Right,” you say, throwing a glance at him, “that is what I thought you meant.”

              He waves his hands, expression a little panicked, “No, it’s not stupid that you’re nervous, that you asked. I’m saying there’s no way you won’t fit in, that’s what I mean, I didn’t,” he sighs, a crackled exasperation to the sound and he drags and hand across his face, “sometimes I’m bad at saying what I mean.”

              “Oh,” the tightness dissipates.

              “I’m sorry,” he says, resting a hand on your back, “I really didn’t mean it like that,”

              “It’s okay,” you lean back in your chair and twist back towards him, the panicky feeling that had been building gone now. You rest a hand on his leg and give him a small smile.

              He cups your cheek for a moment, his thumb stroking along your cheekbone as he looks you over, “You look good,”

              “Yeah?”

              “Definitely,” he says, and he takes your hand and interlocks your fingers with his.

              “What’s it like?” you ask.

              “KQ?”

              “Yeah,”

              “Busy,” he says, honestly, “but really good. What do you want to know?”

              You pepper him with questions, the floodgates open now that he’s given you an inch and you try to learn as much as you can about your upcoming day as possible. You’re not done by the time the rest of the house is up, and Yeosang laughs at your insistence about even the smallest things like the location of the coffee machine.

              “You seem anxious about this,” Yeosang prods, a smile on his lips.

              “I’m a planner,” you reply, “I just want to be prepared.”

              He laughs earnestly and leans across to kiss you, “It’s going to be just fine,”

              Behind you, you hear a shuffling crash, and you break the kiss to turn and watch Mingi and Yunho tackling each other over the back of the couch. Yeosang looks unfazed, a familiar site in the dorm to him, but you burst out laughing, “What is going on?”

              “Ga-wi ba-wi bo wasn’t good enough,” Yunho grunts, rolling Mingi off him and pinning him to the ground.

              “Is that supposed to tell me anything?” You glance at Yeosang who merely shrugs in response.

              Mingi sweeps Yunho’s leg and rolls them both, moving to straddle Yunho and hold him firmly to the floor in front of the sectional. “We’re fighting for your honor,” he says simply.

              “What?” You laugh.

              “They’re fighting over who’s giving you the tour today,” Jongho’s calm and centered voice says, and you look up to see him surveying the scene from behind the couch.

              Yunho looks like he’s about to make a calculated attack, but Mingi manages to strike first, tickling Yunho’s ribs lightning fast and leaving him flat on his back cackling against his better wishes. You glance to Jongho who is silently counting down using his fingers, and once he folds back the last one, he calls out, “That’s it, Mingi wins.”

              “He cheated!” Yunho cries, exasperated.

              “You did not stipulate anything about tickling out during rule setting,” Jongho shrugs, “you lose.”

              Mingi looks incredibly pleased to have beaten Yunho, and you gather that it’s a rarity. Mingi gets up, a little out of breath from the altercation and spins to look at you. “You,” he points at you, “are all mine today.”

              You catch Yeosang roll his eyes from your peripheral vision, and Yunho makes an irritated noise. Before you can say anything, Jongho jumps in, “No, y/n will accompany me.”

              Hongjoong wanders out from his room then, an annoyed look across his features, “Can you please not break the house at eight in the morning.”

              “Sorry, hyung,” Yunho clears his throat and raises his hands in defeat, “we’re done.”

              Mingi locks eyes with Jongho, ignoring Hongjoong’s sudden presence, “What are you talking about?”

              “You’re not even going to that side of the studio today,” Jongho says, “but I’m recording. I’m already going that way, and it won’t look strange for her to be with me if I’m already supposed to be there. I’ll take her in,”

              “Oh,” Mingi immediately looks deflated.

              Jongho shifts to look towards you, “I’ll be ready soon and then we can go in together, is that okay with you?”

              “Um yeah, yes, of course,”

              “Good,” he nods once, “I’ll be right back,”

              While Jongho disappears back down the hall, Mingi sighs, “What do I win then?”

              “I guess nothing,” Yunho shrugs, a little pleased now.

              “Your pride?” Yeosang shoots, a half-smile on his mouth as he chuckles at his own jab.

              “Funny.” Mingi smirks.

              “Fighting over me already, hmm?” You join in, raising an eyebrow at Mingi.

              “Nah,” he lands a playful punch on Yunho’s arm, “we’re always like this.”

              Yunho narrows his eyes, but you watch his expression smooth back out as he decides to let the hit pass. You’re about to comment on it when Mingi takes three long steps towards you and reaches around you to pull you against his chest. You’re still sitting on the barstool, but he’s glommed onto you. You’ve noticed that he’s a physically affectionate person, constantly touching and cuddling something or someone, but it’s the first time you’ve been on the receiving end of it.

              Yeosang hops up, snagging your empty cup on his way to the kitchen. Mingi squeezes and he murmurs, “You feeling ready for your first day?”

              Yeosang sets a fresh cup of coffee in front of you, and you settle your hands around the warm cup before leaning back a little bit into Mingi’s warm embrace, “I think so,” you tell him honestly, and you turn your head to regard him, “What’s all this about?” You bounce your shoulders lightly, referring to the arms around you.

              “Should I not?” He meets your eyes.

              “No, it’s okay,” you sweep a hand across his arm that is wrapped around you.

              “Good,” he smiles.

              “Will I see you at the office then?” You ask, but all you’re noticing is the way his large body seems curled around your smaller frame, his solid warmth behind you and the comforting vibration of his chest when he speaks with his low, rough voice.

              “Probably,” he says, “but if not, you can come by for dance practice later,”

              “I’d like that,” you nod.

              He pauses, and you can all but hear every thought that passes through his mind as he looks at you for a long moment. In a flash he plants a quick kiss on your cheek before releasing you and heading for the kitchen, a blush just barely visible climbing up his neck before he ducks out of view into the refrigerator to look for something.

              You catch the amused look on Yunho’s face immediately, his eyes on Mingi.

              “I have to go,” Yeosang cuts back in, “have a good first day, okay?”

              “Thanks,” you say, and he squeezes your hand and drops a quick kiss to your head before heading back for his bedroom.

              “I have to get going too,” Hongjoong’s voice startles you and you turn back to see him in the foyer.

              “You’re going in early,” you say.

              “It’s definitely going to be a long day,” he says, “a long week probably. We’re putting some arrangements together for our comeback stage. We’re in the same meeting at three, so I’ll see you then.”

              “That’s great,” you smile, comforted by the idea that Hongjoong would be in the same room during one of your first meetings.

              “Text me if you need me,” he says.

              “I will,”

              He pauses for a moment, and then clears his throat and picks up his bag, “Alright, well, good luck, okay?”

              You thank him, and he disappears out the door with one of the managers. Weekdays it appears, are going to be far busier than you were used to, but you were no stranger to hard work and long hours, and something about working on projects you were passionate about fills you more with excited anticipation than dread.

              You’re left with Mingi and Yunho, and you quietly watch as Mingi prepares a protein drink for himself and Yunho eases into the waking world with his coffee.

              “What’s on your schedule today?” You ask.

              “English lesson, dance lesson, dance practice tonight.” Mingi counts off, “I’m heading to the gym now though.”

              “And you?” You ask Yunho.

              He thinks a moment and says, “Vocal lesson this morning, and then I have a table reading for a new drama,”

              “What?” You spin to look at him, “A new one?”

              “Mhm,” He smiles, and you can see that he’s proud of himself. A second drama in such a short period of time will surely help solidify his acting career.

              “Ooh, tell me everything. Is it a romance? Action?”

              “A bit of both,” he admits, “I’ll let you read the script later, maybe you can help me run some lines.” His eyebrows raise a bit suggestively and you take it that somewhere in the script there’s a kissing scene.

              Smiling, you nod at him and return to your cup of coffee.

              Yunho moves to make himself another and you see his eyes flick over you, finally he’s awake enough to really register how you look since this is the first time you’ll be going to work. “You look really good,” he says, “like one of our stylists.”

              That feels like high praise, and you blush, “Thanks,”

              He narrows his eyes at you for a moment as he tosses a spoonful of sugar in his cup, “People are going to flirt with you,”

              You choke a laugh into your coffee and splutter a cough, shaking your head. You weren’t a stranger to being flirted with, you certainly went out during college and participated a bit in the dating scene after, but it had been some time. Recovering you say, “Yunho, are you jealous?”

              He opens his mouth to respond but someone makes an irritated noise in the back of their throat behind you and says, “What could one guy have that all of us don’t? Please,”

              Wooyoung. You wonder if he’s always this level of swagger and cheek this early in the morning.

              “Well,” you stand up from the bar chair and take your coffee cup to the sink to clean it out, “I’m glad you think I look nice for my first day at least,”

              “Are you ready?” Jongho calls, and you look towards the main section of the dorm where he waits, looking cleaned up and fresh.

              “Mm,” you nod, “I’ll get my bag and we can go,” You put the cup away, take a deep breath and nod, “Okay, wish me luck, and I’ll see you all tonight.”

              Mingi wishes you luck again through a full mouth of his protein bar, and Yunho gives you a wide, warm smile before saying, “Hwaiting!”

              Wooyoung catches your arm as you pass to press a kiss to your cheek, “Good luck, for real,”

              You thank him and before you know it, you’re slipping on your shoes and ready to walk out the door for your first day.

              The car is quiet for the first few minutes of the journey, but Jongho eventually turns to you, his face relaxed and open, “How’s your room feeling?”

              “Oh,” you shift to angle towards him in your seat, and your knee brushes against his gently, “it’s so nice, thank you for all your help yesterday.”

              He smiles and nods, “It’s my pleasure,”

              You look down at your clasped hands, the bracelet from Seonghwa peeking out from under the sleeve of your top and you run the chain between two fingers lightly, taking a little bit of comfort in it. Jongho catches your attention again and continues, “Are you feeling good about today?”

              “Good,” you nod, “but nervous,”

              “Mm,” he nods, “I can stay with you for a bit, show you around the office. We’ll head up to the recording studio and your desk will be up in that section of the office.”

              “I’ll have a desk?”

              He laughs, light and soft like it snuck up on him, “Yes, with some of the other junior staff working with Edenary.”

              You nod, exhaling slow and working yourself up to the idea. It was still intimidating.

              “It’s going to be fine,” he reaches across laying one warm hand across your clasped ones. “I have to record at eleven, but I’ll introduce you to everyone and make sure you get to your desk,”

              You glance at your phone, checking the time and see that it’s still before nine, “You’re going in early,” you observe.

              “I thought I’d make sure you got settled,” he smiles at you.

              “Oh,” your eyes widen, “thank you so much, that’s very thoughtful.”

              A quick blush flushes his cheeks, and he clears his throat, “It’s really no trouble.”

              Seoul passes around you, and through the tinted windows you see the way the city rises and stretches around you, old buildings mixed in with new, and people winding between the cars and bikes to get to their various destinations on a Monday morning. The car makes a sudden turn down a side street and you wind down the road to the familiar offices, the glass building stretching up above you and the KQ logo hanging starkly white between large glass windowpanes. The car pulls into the back of the garages, a more private entrance for the idols, and you take a deep breath, your hands tightening on the straps of your bag.

              Jongho takes your hand to help you climb out of the car and lightly touches the small of your back to urge you forwards towards the automatic glass doors a few feet ahead of you, before dropping his hand entirely and heading forwards.

              You had visited the KQ offices before to sign your paperwork, but it was still overwhelming. You had only made it into the lobby and the first conference room, but now Jongho escorts you through the halls and into an elevator with glass sides, overlooking the street outside. He tells you you’re headed to the fourth floor where Edenary’s offices and the recording studios are.

              The layout of the building is as Yeosang described to you earlier in the morning, and it’s a comforting thing to feel prepared for it. Jongho greets every staff member that passes with a good morning and a nod, and finally you cross though into a large open concept office space. Desks are nestled together in the center of the space, short partitions between them, large desktop computers, and a small kitchen nook with a coffee machine visible at the back.

              “Here’s the main space,” he says, and points to another hallway to the left, “if you go that way you get back to the recording studios and the Edenary offices. Our offices are all to the right,” he gestures to another long hallway, and you can see a set of alternating doors on either side.

              “You have offices?”

              “They’re more like soundproof practice spaces,” he explains, “but yes,”

              “This is probably your desk,” he gestures towards the cleaned off space, empty and sparse except for the large desktop computer and heavy headphones that are wrapped up and waiting for you.

              You’re about to open your mouth to respond when a bright feminine voice catches you by surprise from behind, “Ah! Good morning, Jongho,”

              Jongho turns, smiling brightly at the woman coming off the elevator. He responds a good morning too, but you’re caught taking her in. She’s tall, thin, and styled well, with a chic black bob and a bold red lip. She catches sight of you immediately, “Oh! You must be the new girl,”

              “Yes, hi,” you bow to greet her and smile warmly, “I’m y/n,”

              “Han Chae Young,” she greets, and her eyes flick to Jongho, “oh, this is Choi Jongho, the main vocalist of Ateez. I’m not sure if you,”

              Jongho interrupts smoothly, “Oh, no, y/n and I are familiar with each other. She’s old friends with Hongjoong,”

              “Oh,” Chae Young looks surprised, but nods, “Well, welcome.”

              “Thank you,” you nod.

              It takes her a moment, but Chae Young starts towards her desk, one of the three facing each other near the far windows with the low partitions, “My desk is here,” she gestures to the one decorated with some photos and small succulents, “this will be your desk.” As you expected, the currently empty and waiting space.

              “Perfect,” you smile and start towards it, and Jongho stays in step with you.

              “Seo Jun sits here,” the other desk of the three, and you note that there is simply an empty coffee cup and stacks of notebooks and papers, “he’s usually a little late on Mondays.”

              There’s a slight beat in conversation and Jongho clears his throat, “Chae,” he starts, “do you mind if I steal y/n for a bit? I was going to show her around the studio before I need to get started at eleven,”

              “Of course,” she nods and then turns to you, “when you get back and Seo Jun is here, we’ll get you up to speed on the open projects and where things are.”

              “Thank you,” you tell her, “I’m looking forward to it,”

              Jongho walks you back to the left, and with his voice dropped a little lower he gestures to the doors, “These are the main recording spaces,” he gestures upwards to the light fixtures on the wall above, “if those are red that means someone’s actively recording,”

              “Got it,”

              “These offices are Edenary,” he murmurs, “and to the end of the hall is the main conference room,”

              Your gaze follows the nod of his head, and you see names posted on the offices, names you’re familiar with, Eden amongst them. Through the frosted glass windows at the end of the hall you can see figures moving in the room and Jongho leans in closer to you, “Hongjoong and the rest of the team are there for Monday staff. They usually get the week set up and organize the projects and priorities.”

              “Hongjoong said we’re in the same meeting at three,” you turn to him, “do you know what that will be?”

              “Some of us are recording at three-thirty,” he says, “so it’s the production team meeting beforehand. I’m guessing you’ll just observe today,”

              You hope that’s the case, but you’re also excited to hear their new music and to know the future of their albums and work.

              Jongho sweeps you through the rest of the floor with ease, showing you each door labeled with the members names, talking you through the office and getting you comfortable with every step. Finally, when you’ve made a large circle and ended back at the beginning, situated in front of your desk again he gives you a smile, “All right, I’ll leave you in Chae Young’s capable hands. Good luck, and I’m sure I’ll see you this afternoon.”

              You want to take his hand and thank him, to kiss his cheek for his kindness, to just have a moment, but you can’t. Not here. You bow cordially and formally, swallowing back your smile and returning to your empty desk across from Chae Young.

              Your phone buzzes in your pocket a moment later, and you check your messages, the group chat bubbling back to life. Jongho’s message brings a smile to your lips immediately – Officially delivered y/n for her first day. Can confirm, she looks beautiful and very capable. Fitting right in.

              Of course she is – Yunho’s response flies in a moment later.

              That’s our girl – San’s message has you blushing.

              A flurry of good luck messages and kiss emojis flood the chat and you quickly type out a reply – You’re all the sweetest, but I’m going to have to mute this chat to get anything done. Fighting! You tap out a few heart emojis and press send before muting the chat, tucking your phone away so you can refocus on the day ahead.

              Chae Young you find out is somewhat like your boss. She insists she isn’t, not on paper, but she’s been on the production team the longest outside of Edenary and has slotted cleanly into a leadership position over the more junior staff members on the team, which at the moment, is just you and Seo Jun. It’s still a small company, you’re reminded, and while things look fancy and flashy from the outside, at the end of the day it’s still a small fish in the very large sea that is this industry.

              Seo Jun, you discover, is a little eccentric. Within twenty minutes you think you’ve learned everything there is to know about him – his slightly manic energy pouring thoughts out, and by lunchtime you know he has three sisters, can play six instruments well and two proficiently, graduated close to but not at the top of his class at a music academy, and likes American rap music.  

              Your work life it seems is going to be hectic, and you’re sure that part of why you’ve been hired is to just help take some of the pressure off Chae Young’s shoulders. When she reviews her schedule with you and her list of open projects, you have no idea how one person could keep it all in their head. By the time it’s just before three, you’ve been overwhelmed with little things you can assist with and assured just about a million times that other than this you’ll just be observing for the week.

              At three, Chae Young hustles you and Seo Jun down the hall, and you assume you’re heading for the conference room but instead she dips into a large room that you immediately register is the recording studio. Members of Edenary are sitting across the couches and chairs, and Eden, who you instantly recognize, is in a large rolling office chair that you can tell is a seat meant only for him.

              Hongjoong is seated to Eden’s left in one of the large plush chairs, his leg bouncing restlessly and his eyes watching the door. When your eyes meet, he gives you a wide warm smile and you give him a small wave and smile in return, not wanting to disrupt the room that seems to be already deep in conversation.

              Eden swivels around in his chair and regards the full room now that you’ve all taken your places, Chae Young graciously pointing out where you should sit. He catches sight of your new face instantly, “You must be y/n,” he says.

              “Oh, yes,” you bow deeply, “it’s good to meet you,”

              “Hongjoong says you’re promising,” he smiles, “welcome to the team.”

              Your heart catches in your throat at his words, nervous you might say or do the wrong thing but you thank him, your gaze flicking to Hongjoong who’s giving you an encouraging nod. The focus doesn’t stay on you for very long though, quickly the meeting begins with no time to spare and you’re playing catch up as quickly as you can, listening intently and taking notes where possible. Chae Young nudges you when an assignment is handed off to your small, junior team and murmurs softly that it’s going to be something you work on together as your first project.

              By the time five o’clock rolls around you’re dizzy, overwhelmed and underwater already but you expected it. KQ is a small company still, and while middle management is in place and things seem to be run well at first glance, it’s clear people wear multiple hats and the time that some jobs would devote to training doesn’t exactly exist here. You are going to need to adapt quickly, and that would mean longer hours and more time spent outside of the office working, but you’re hungry for it and ready for more.

              You stay with Chae Young until six, helping her finish off as many little tasks as possible, and when she leaves you make up an excuse that you’re waiting for a ride so that you don’t have to explain why you’re still here late on your first day.

              The truth of it is that you want to find Hongjoong. He had texted you over an hour ago which room he would be in, letting you know to come by once the day was done, and you’ve been waiting for Chae Young to leave to safely slip away into Hongjoong’s office.

              Now that you were effectively alone on the floor, you pack up your things and head towards the room indicated in his message. The door is closed, and you knock softly.

              “Come in!” his muffled voice comes through the door, and you slip inside.

              Hongjoong is seated in front of a large monitor, mixing software open, but the room itself is quite small and sparsely decorated. You shut the door behind you, and he turns around in his chair to meet your eyes, “Already working late?” He smiles at you.

              “Chae Young needed some help,” you explain, “and I’m used to long days.” Months and months of double shifts before you met them was the norm, so you’re not feeling the fatigue just yet.

              “Was it okay, today?” He smiles and gestures for you to sit on the leather couch built into the studio room’s wall.

              You sit and nod, “A little overwhelming, but good.”

              “It’s a lot, isn’t it?” He grimaces slightly.

              “There’s a lot to catch up on,” you agree, “you’re planning everything so far in advance I feel like I’m miles behind,”

              He nods, “I know, and a lot of us have been here since the beginning so I’m sure we aren’t making complete sense to you yet.”

              “It’s fine,” you sigh and sink back into the cushions, “I just have lots to learn,”

              “You will though,” he leans forward, elbows on his knees and hands clasped loosely in front of him, “I know you will.”

              “Thank you, Joong,” you murmur. There’s a beat between you, a little spike of tension, but he pulls back a second later and clears his throat.

              “So,” he says, “are you coming to dance practice or heading home?”

              “I’ll come,” you nod, “as long as you don’t think it would be too familiar looking?”

              “No,” he shakes his head, “any practice we do after seven or eight is usually just us, not the full group. Most people go home by six, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

              “How late do you think you’ll go?”

              “Honestly?” He shrugs, “Most of the time we’re in the studio until nine or ten,”

              “Late,” you observe, and he nods, “how often are you putting in twelve-hour days?”

              He shrugs and runs a hand through his cropped hair, “More often than not, I guess.”

              “Then tell me where I can help,” you offer.

              He smiles at you warmly, and leans back into his desk chair, the edge connecting softly with the desk behind him, “It would be nice to have you there,”

              “I wouldn’t be in the way?” You check.

              “Honestly,” he says with a sigh, “we’ve been working a lot lately and didn’t get a break after the end of the tour, which we normally would. I think you’d help motivate everyone, lift their morale.”

              “Then I’m there,” you assure him.

              The screen behind him goes dark, the screen saver setting in automatically and he taps the space bar of his keyboard to wake it back up.

              “What are you working on?” you nod towards the computer.

              “Just something for myself,” he brushes it off, but you shake your head, “do you want to hear it?”

              “Definitely,” you already have a hand outstretched for the headphones on his desk and he pulls a side chair closer to his so you can sit closer to him and the screen.

              “We have an hour anyways,” he checks his watch, passing you the headphones officially and smiling as you pull them over your ears and throw him a thumbs up.

              You spend the hour listening to his personal work, things he’s workshopping, future tracks for future albums, and slowly you feel like you’re peeling back the layers to him. He’s serious but animated, passionate, and driven, and it’s easy to sink into conversation with him when it’s about music. You don’t want to leave his studio space, you want to keep digging into him and pulling this all apart layer by layer, but before you know it it’s time to leave.

              You already know your work with them is going to be more than just your day job. Here in this room with Hongjoong you’re alive, invigorated by his passion and it’s been so long since you’ve felt the strike of your own, the desperate need to create creeping up and buzzing through you. You never expected for this relationship with them to help put you back together, but that’s exactly what it’s doing, and you can see the distinct threads of your future weaving together.

              You don’t realize it now, but your first day draws a map for all your future days with KQ, and you’re soon to sink into a steady routine. Work will end by six, and you’ll spend the rest of your time with Hongjoong in the studio, whether that ends with a late-night dance practice or your burn the midnight oil making music with him, it doesn’t matter. You’re alive again now, and there’s work to be done.

a/n: next chapter is planned for sunday 07.03, but i have a friend in town this week and will have less time to write, so it may be a day or two delayed. i'll do my best to stick to the posting schedule though! for frequent updates on my schedule and other writing, feel free to follow my private twt, @/his_shinelight

💌 - taglist:  @butterfliesinthenightsky @stitch3s @flowerboykun @theartofhotchinthesnow @spookydanielle @mangislovur @inarinabina @justanotherkpopstanlol @parkurhope @bikou0327 @teti-menchon0604 @becauseiloveyunho @stardustmoonlightteaandbooks @yeosangsbiceps @auhhrii @multifandomizer @softsugababes @amazingly-amazing-loser @bangtanxberm @nyxmoon @xosim @arkive78 @elk-1998 @tenebrisirae @mysticfire0435 @jo-hwaberry @ddeonghwva @meginthebuilding27

#into the aurora series #ateez series #honeyhotteoks fics #into the aurora fic #ateez ff #ateez fic #ateez #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ot8 #ot8 x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader

[redtail-lol]

Presenting, Enderqueer

[Image ID: 2 6-striped flags. They are the same flag, but the one on the left has an end portal overlay, which makes it darker with lighter rectangular speckles. Colors on the right's, in descending order, are: pink; light purple; dark purple; black; dark teal-blue; slightly dark sea green. The right has darkened versions of these same colors. End ID.]

My own blankqueer label. I've been wanting to make one for a while. Name and flag based on the End dimension from Minecraft.

Core principles of Enderqueer:

The core principles of Enderqueer are as follows

The right to self identification with little restrictions and rules.

Inclusion of non-harmful identities in the communities they say they belong to.

Respecting the identities of people even if you do not understand.

Giving everyone a chance to explain their identity before deeming it harmful; as well as respecting someone's choice to not explain and assuming good faith rather than passing judgement.

Putting experiences over definitions; allowing all labels to have outliers if they're comfortable with the label even when it doesn't fit them perfectly.

Queer liberation and the advancements of our rights.

Destroying heteronormativity, cisnormativity, exorsexism, intersexism, allonormativity, amatonormativity, and mononormativity (all 3 meanings of mono: monosexuality, monogenderism, and monogamy).

Enderqueer beliefs:

On identity, enderqueer believes the following

Most forms of self identification are valid, however anything that is identified with for harmful reasons (such as transphobia, biphobia/multiphobia, homophobia, ableism, racism, etc.) or things that are harmful regardless of reason (such as transabled, transrace for non-adoptees, transnazi, shit like that), are not valid.

It is okay to ask questions about identities you don't understand or think are harmful before fully accepting them without question. However, if a person doesn't want to answer, that is their right, and it doesn't give you the right to argue against or hate their identity. Assume good faith and maybe ask others who have similar identities.

Identity is complicated and every label, regardless of definition, can and will have outliers, and this is not a problem

Experiences and personal comforts are more important than definitions

All mspec identities are valid and are not biphobic

All aspecs are queer unless the aspec person in particular says they aren't.

All Polyamory, ambiamory, and other nonmonogamy is queer unless the polyam/non-monogam person in particular says they are not queer.

Redundant terms are okay

Multigendered and genderfluid people are "really" their genders. The existence of their other genders or the temporary nature of their genders don't make them less real

On paraphilias, enderqueer believes the following

Paraphilias are morally neutral. Paraphiles who's paraphilias are nonconsensual or harmful to themselves or others deserve support and recovery, and paraphiles who's paraphilias are not harmful should be allowed to act on it. Paraphilias that can either be harmful or not harmful should only be practiced in a safe and ethical way.

On flag discourse, enderqueer believes the following

Flags should not be gatekept from certain groups unless they are specific to one identity or one group of identities. people can decide to use your flags based on your beliefs.

Controversial original flags can be used regardless of if you agree with the creators, but replacement flags should not be used by people who don't agree with the sentiments behind the cancellation. Racist transphobes should not use the orange and pink lesbian flag. Mspec lesbians and supporters should not use the new pan or aroace flags. This is because the new flags have a goal: punish the original creator for a belief by replacing their work. Using replacement flags is accomplishing that goal, and if you agree with the original creator, you shouldn't punish them.

Multioriented and abrosexual people are "really" their orientations. The existence of their other orientations or the temporary nature of their orientations don't make them less real

Other things enderqueer believes the following

Queer labels should not concern themselves with non-queer issues, as that is a different part of one's identity. Making queer labels that concern themselves with non-queer issues excludes the people who are either uneducated on the topic or have no business voicing the opinion because they are not a part of the community or even adjacent.

Gender is real. Social constructs are powerful things that can cause real and observable phenomenon in the brain, and gender being real doesn't invalidate any funky gender identity

Gender Abolition is transphobic. Gender is the identity, and taking away gender leaves nothing but biological sex which may still allow binary trans people to exist if they experience dysphoria but will definitely erase all nondysphoric and nonbinary people.

Transmisogyny and transmisandry are real

POC queers are an unremovable and important part of the queer community

What does enderqueer explicitly support?

Enderqueer supports the following identities, actions, or forms of identification:

Unlabeled identities

People who use few labels for themselves

Termcollectors and labelhoarders

All aspecs, including loveless aros, any sex stance for aces, romance stance for aros, friendship stance for apls, etc, and atertiaries

Anti-contact, pro-recovery paraphiles who's paraphilias are harmful to themselves or others

Paraphiles who's paraphilias are not harmful to themselves or others

Paraphiles who's paraphilias can be harmful or can be safe who only act on them in a way that is safe and ethical

Mspec monos

Mspec gays, veldians, lesbians, cenelians, enbians, straights, etc who do not consider themselves monos

Straightbians, straight gays, straight veldians, gaybians/velaurians, and other labels often used by multigender people

Lesboys, turigirls, ceneliboys and ceneligirls, enbiboys and enbigirls, trixiboys and trixigirls, and toriboys and torigirls

Any other form of "contradictory" labels

Aspec and non-aspec SAM

Xenogenders

Xenidens, or xenoids used in reclamation

Allion orientations

Gender nonconformity, including pronoun nonconformity

Neurolabels, when used by people who have those conditions

Reclamation of slurs and derogatory terms, even when used as an identity

Transracial adoptees

Transspecies therians

Transage chronosian or transage age regressors

What does enderqueer explicitly denounce?

Enderqueer denounces the following identities, actions, or forms of identification:

Radqueers

Winterqueers or Winterpunks

Transidentities that are not transgender, transrace adoptees, therian transspecies, or chronosian/agere transage

Pro-contact harmful paraphilias or neu-contact harmful paraphilias. This also applies to unethical or unsafe ways of acting on a paraphilia that can be done in a safe, ethical way

Comp-contact for paraphilias that can never be safe or ethical in practice

Anti-recovery for ANY paraphilias. Nonharmful paraphiles may choose to recover anyway

Anti-contact for paraphilias that are never dangerous or unethical

Radical feminists

Not recognizing attraction to elsegender people as being just as real and valid as attraction to aptobinary people. This includes calling all exclusive lesbians monosexual, saying all sexualities inherently include elsegender people, thinking enbians are choosing to date nonbinary people or cenelians are choosing not to date aptobinary people, rather than recognizing that they are attracted to other elsegender people, potentially exclusively, or calling WLN and MLN labels transphobic or enbyphobic

Bad faith labels such as superstraight, quasihomosexual, animesexual (though animesexual can be reclaimed by fictosexuals), and others made to mock queerness or justify bigotry

What is enderqueer neutral on, or what does enderqueer not believe needs to be part of a blankqueer label?

Enderqueer is stanceless on the following:

Syscourse

Shipcourse

Self diagnosis

Furries

Alterhumanity (OP supports and it's close to queer discourse but ultimately I decided it was far enough removed that it didn't need to be included)

Engaging with problematic media and/or creators

Kink at pride (I know this one is super relevant but I don't have any strong opinions and the ones I do have are very mixed)

Enderqueers may have no opinion on the above issues, or a stance that they do not believe is important to a blankqueer label. Or they may just agree with everything else included under enderqueer and choose to use it.

#blankqueer #queer label #label coining #queer stance #pro mogai #pro mspec gay #pro mspec lesbian #pro mspec #anti radqueer #anti winterpunk #anti winterqueer #pro para #anti contact #enderqueer

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

Polyamory Can't Come From Cheating

From: https://polyamorousmisanthrope.com/wordpress/2017/05/14/polyamory-cant-come-from-cheating/

I’ve been getting several letters that look like this lately:

Dear Polyamorous Misanthrope,

My husband has had an affair and now wants to have a polyamorous relationship.  She is pregnant, and wants him to live with her.  How do I get over my jealousy and stop being so inadequate as a wife?

Any poly person who says that being angry at being mistreated is a symptom of inadequacy or that being jealous is somehow a personal failing isn’t someone you need to listen to at all.

Cheating and Polyamory

I’ve got some advice for both sides of the coin here.   Maybe you’ve cheated on your partner and want to be openly poly.  Maybe you’ve had a partner cheat on you and then decide poly is the thing to do.  In both cases, I’ve got some less than pleasant things to say.

If You are the Cheater

To repeat to the people who have cheated and think polyamory is going to be their Get out of Jail Free card, please understand that polyamory does not work if you are:

Lying to your partner.

Insensitive to your partner’s needs and desires.

Breaking agreements.

Expecting your partner to be convenient.

If you have cheated and want to save your marriage, you are going to need to earn back your spouse’s trust.  That is almost certainly not possible while still being involved with the person you’re cheating with.  It may not be possible at all.

If You are Being Cheated On

If have been cheated on and are being told that you’re to blame because of your “insecurities…”

You are being gaslighted.

Everyone’s behavior is always their very own fault.  If you slap your partner for cheating on you, you’re being abusive.  Your partner didn’t make you do it.  If your partner says you were too stifling and that’s why the cheating happened, the partner is still lying and breaking agreements. You didn’t make them do it.

Maybe you are insecure and need to work on that.  Fair enough.  Still not an excuse for breaking agreements.  The only ethical options available are re-negotiating the agreements or breaking the relationship off.

What Good Relationships Look Like

I’m not trying to paint relationships as throw-away things, by the way.  My shortest current relationship is celebrating its ten-year anniversary this summer.  The relationships I have survive happily because of three things that are really important:

We genuinely care about each other’s feelings.

I had a Bad Thing happen to me recently and the pain of it will hit me at odd moments.  The last time FWB visited, let’s just say I wasn’t feeling all that sexy.  He understood that and was fine with cuddling.  Do I realize and like… care about the fact that he might have felt disappointed?  Yep.  Very much so.  The point is that in good partnerships, there is mutual compassion. 

I cannot overstate the fact that in a good relationship, the mutuality of care is crucial.  You cannot abnegate yourself to earn the cookies of being cared about, though.  If it’s not mutual, if it’s a one-way street, you are genuinely better off without that relationship.  Love, deep down, is really what it’s all about.  I say it over and over and over again.  Without love, forget it.

We are honest with each other.

This has to be the most important part of the whole thing.  My husband and I really did nearly divorce because of a lack of honesty in communication.  We learned to be honest about what we wanted to do or not, and never to agree to something we didn’t want.  We found that where we disagreed, because we knew there were no hidden agendas, workarounds could easily be found that everyone could deal with happily. (Were that not so, we would have parted).

We recognize duty exists in relationships

Duty is not a popular word and I have been in relationships that eyeroll duty.  Never, ever again.  It is my duty to be honest about what I think and feel as well as volunteer my emotional state.  It is my duty to do what I say I am going to do.  It is my duty to tell my partner if my feelings have changed and I want something else.

I do not consent to relationships in which people do not feel the same way about the paragraph above.

This makes it sound all harsh and cold and no fun, which is, I am sure, why the word has fallen out of popularity.  But that’s not what my life looks like.  It feels secure and comfortable.  I know my partners will not grudgingly stay with me if they are unhappy.  I know they’re in my life because they want to be. 

I recommend a few articles, though, if you are dealing with a partner who has cheated on you, and you’re trying to decide what to do in the face of it.  Yes, this is stuff I’ve written, but I think it’s important.

Boundaries

How to Rebuild Trust

Vetos (Hint:  Hate ‘em and think they’re crap for learning appropriate boundaries)

The Emotional Bank Account

#polyamory #polyamorous misanthrope

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hello! I saw your giving advice and I'm here to ask,how do you write a poly relationship? (More than two partners) where do begin? I'm having trouble introducing my character to the other two,what do I do?

So, while obviously I do not speak for poly people everywhere and (as with anything) everyone's experiences can vary...

It doesn't often jump from single to suddenly dating two or more people. You are poly. You meet someone. You grow closer, you may or may not have already realised you were poly and discussed it with your person depending on where you are in life, you start a relationship. While you are in that relationship, you might meet someone else that you also like and would be interested in and the relationship grows.

It's two different relationships (minimum). Yes, the way one goes can impact the other, but it's not a group lump. It's your character dating and having a romantic story with two different characters (or more), and navigating that with consent and good communication between all parties involved. Unless you're writing an unhealthy dynamic, which, you know, fair. Just add some good examples of poly in your story too.

Sure, you can get dynamics where one person enters a relationship with an existing poly couple and meets them at the same time, but that's not the only way it can go.

You can meet a poly couple, and only date one of them while your partner's partner has other people (or not!). You may or may not be friends with your person's other partner. You may have very little to do with each other.

You might be someone's primary person. You might both be comfortable with having something more casual. You might not be at the level of priority you want to be and you (the character) have to find a way to deal with that. You might only see each other every once in a blue moon because you live in different places, but really enjoy spending time with each other when you do.

You might be poly but only be in one committed relationship, and that doesn't make you less poly, in the same way that if someone bi dates someone of a different gender, they don't stop being bi.

So. Advice.

Figure out what and whose story you actually want to tell. Who are your characters? What fits them on how they'd meet and interact with each other? Why do they like each other? (Same as any other romantic story!) Do you have a plot other than the relationship which weighs in on possible setting etc? Them being polyamorous doesn't tell me much for specific character advice. It depends on your story. In the same that a relationship can be gay but there is a huge difference between the dynamic and story in, say, These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever, Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston and The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

Don't be afraid to have the relationships progressing on different time scales, in different ways. Different people have different needs and desires and personalities, and well-written relationships feel like they grow organically out of the characters and what else is going on in their life. Also don't be afraid to start your story with your character in a relationship already, because that's also an option.

Remember decent communication before, during and after the relationship.

Do your research into polyamory if you haven't already.

I hope this helps.

#poly #polyamory #poly relationships #writing advice #writing #writing talk #writing tips #romance

[echofromtheabyss]

I am starting to have this idea that queerness isn't the only thing that gets constructed differently over time. So does straightness.

I think there is a unique quality to 1950s-80s heterosexuality that sets it apart as a distinct "thing." It's distinct from before. It's distinct from after.

The 90s-2000s are in kind of a long tail of this cultural motif, and now we're seeing this particular expression of heterosexuality really disappear in a lot of types of media and in the public eye; society just isn't trying to match up 18 year olds the way it was between the 50s-80s. Increasingly, a middle class person is going to stay sexless up until age 25 then they have 5 years to get their shit together to get married. This is a really alien way of thinking about life and love to Boomers, who basically may be, as heterosexuals, the very most privileged generation with the very most social options.

This is really coming up for me writing a sci fi setting that's basically just stuffed with frustrated Boomers.

First of all, heterosexuality in the Late Midcentury and Late Century begins to be constructed as an actual agentic lifestyle and mode of hedonic expression and freedom as opposed to just a broad social expectation.

Like, a 50s square is just assumed to be heterosexual by default.

But increasingly from the 60s on, in many cases, a heterosexual is increasingly actually agentically heterosexual. And agentic heterosexuality requires 1) increasing sexual agency, 2) a high number of options, and 3) the acknowledged existence of non-heterosexuality (even if you think it's the devil or something) and the idea that you come of age and learn your sexual identity/broadly have a sexual awakening. There are still unconscious trad gender role expectations mixed up in all of this too for a lot of people which makes this a much more confusing analysis.

Granted, I think that this last is far truer of Gen X and Millennials (declining options, higher agency, and a sense of "when did I know I was straight?" as opposed to just taking it for granted.)

Also I think this is actually going away.

No, we are not all becoming gay.

But what's going away is the shape of life that gave rise to a particular expression and construction of heterosexuality, now that middle class younger people are facing a couple of years at best (assuming you hit 25 as a total virgin in every respect, then are in a hurry to find a partner while you can, in what are really evaluative, status-conscious, shitty conditions) during which they have to do all their dating, then marry a Socially Appropriate Partner, and polyamory is a straight person's only way out of this shitty high-pressure thing we've constructed normie heterosexuality to presently be.

This is *not* the agentic heterosexuality of Boomers, and Gen X maybe got to experience the fading end of it. Also, it's not the "marry for transactional reasons because it's What Everyone Does/and we just assume everyone is straight anyway" of pre-Boomers because 1) it's clearly not what EVERYONE does, being able to marry at all is privilege now 2) we now have the youth narrative of figuring out your sexual identity (though this happens very differently for Zoomers than it did for anyone older than Millennial). It's easy to say heteros are just a default that people assume to be a norm, but in 60s and 70s work it becomes really clear that some men and women are actually horny for each other. That actually stops being legible later which is where a lot of Stalking is Love comes in, because the media stopped representing female thirst and female initiative. (Lots of analyses here but in 50s work - women actually flirt back, whereas in 80s-90s work, men flirt and women roll their eyes or act icy.)

And it stops being legible entirely once society stops being so openly horny. It's like the Sexual Revolution created a very specific construction of heterosexuality outside of normie heteronormativity, that is... kinda its own thing and its own energy. It stops being as legible because 1) the norm got bigger and more liberalized toward a larger number of behaviors and 2) society is just less horny. But that's not all. I think modern LGBT identity is constructed differently from the world I came out in. In a weird way, it's like 80s-90s LGBT identity is downstream of the Sexual Revolution and 60s-70s ideas about individuality, in ways that lots of expressions of modern LGBT identity are not; modern LGBT identity is... different somehow in ways I can't put my finger on. (I am NOT saying there were no LGBT people prior to the Sexual Revolution!)

FWIW, the idea that sexual and gender identity can be constructed differently in different times and cultures, is fairly standard Queer Studies 101, the big thing is that here I'm actually considering that *heterosexuality* constructs differently in different cultures and eras, too.

#the before time