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cloveroctobers · 10 months

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Carmy Berzatto — summer prompts 🍋

A/N: heavily influenced by this TikTok [user: addamsfilms] that put out the idea of bringing Rory culkin onto the show as Carmy’s blood cousin so here it is. Always liked rory so I thought why not? Also watched the show with Rory’s character they mashed up with Carmy’s “the expecting” and it was definitely weird af but I’m not really taking it in that direction lol. Definitely ended up completely different than I originally started! Some light hearted moments from a light hearted OC/Reader with a touch of heaviness because it’s still the bear after all.

*GIFS BELONG TO: @quinzelgifs + @pranink & @thepunkpanther

PROMPT from this list here: Making popsicles.

WARNINGS: kinda lengthy if you have the time, platonic carmy relationship? You tell me. Language ofc + things get physical somewhere towards the bottom, let us pray for Carmy 👀

✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ * ✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ * ✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ * ✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ *

there’s this dull feeling that sits in the center of her chest but after a couple of breaths and the longer she stares at the boarded building, it goes away for now. The air is misty, the sky grey with a faint of yellow behind it; in the shape of the sun begging to be released. She’s not sure how long she’s been rotating her view of staring at the becoming of the bear and the sky but after awhile her body moves her inside.

Inside provides better warmth from Chicago’s spring that she’s peeling off her trench coat. She smells plaster, paint, and dust first before she studies the new layout that’s in mind for the restaurant. It feels much more open than the last time she set foot in here and although it’s only been a few weeks, she still feels like she might have missed out on a lot.

It’s loud inside the bear, drilling, the talking—yelling—it’s the same thing around here and knocking filling her ears as her brown eyes drift back to the only greenery inside. Her eyes go wide as she slowly steps forward to the potted Strelitzia, birds of paradise—if you prefer simpler terms, leaves beginning to droop and tan, later also finding no other than a used cigarette in its dry soil.

She lets out a scream, gaining the attention of Manny and Angel first who are quickly alerted with her presence, wearing their protective head gear before footsteps follow.

“Hey, there she is!” Richie yells as she stands up straight from her leaned over position, “welcome back to the hell hole, starstar!”

She blinks and places a small genuine smile on her face, “It looks great so far but tell me why there’s a cigarette just chilling in my plant?”

Richie glances at the said item and raises his hands in surrender, “wasn’t me this time! Take it up with thing 1 and 2.”

She dips her head, tongue pressing to the roof of her mouth until Richie brings her into a embrace, lightly shaking her from side to side. She swallows the smidge of annoyance for now, a simple hand going around to place on the 6’1 man’s back for a moment.

“Good to see ya!” Richie clicks his tongue just as more faces appear from the kitchen.

First it’s sweeps followed by Tina and Tyler who halts at the door.

“Starla! Sup girl! How’s that stomach treating you?” Sweeps holds out a fist for the girl to bump who snorts as her knuckles touches his.

She knows the man is lightly teasing her, as he analyzes the wall before taking a comfortable lean against it. Starla picks up on this and makes a mental note to ask about it later but she’s still a little annoyed that her baby is slowly failing.

“Yes, mama. How are you?” Tina wraps her arms around Starla, tenderly rubbing her back before moving to stand beside her, arm still wrapped around her waist.

“Eh…a lot better.”

Sweeps comments with a chuckle as he munches on some chips, “We told you not to eat that shit.”

“You did. I just didn’t want to be rude you know?” Was Starla’s reply as Sweeps shook his head.

“And where that get you huh?”

Richie sneezed and sniffed, “Yeah, starstar! You’ve got to kick that people pleasing habit out the way!”

This the young woman already knew, even when Tina nodded her head and continued squeezing her to her side. It was two weeks ago when she decided to try out this new “gourmet” food truck probably six blocks over and ordered some curry goat. She sent pics to the group chat and you already know that shit was fired up—except for the lack of response she received from Carmy.

Not that it mattered anyways, Starla still ate the meal in front of the owners because she was simply starving and on lunch break. Food poisoning was not fun or a good feeling but for the sake of not embarrassing the cooks on the truck…Starla ate the meal. It originally wasn’t horrible at the start, it also wasn’t the best flavor wise but it was ultimately the after that utterly destroyed Starla’s insides.

Which ended up with a nice trip to the hospital and a ugly bill in the mail a week later. Yes she was a woman down for a little while, which sucked for the bear since they needed all the help they can get. It was crazy to not only Starla but to be aware that the goal was to be open in May was mind-boggling. There was so much to do on the list and with Starla being around part-time, she helped out when she could.

Now she was back and she still didn’t know what she was stepping into.

“Hey Star,” Tyler takes his opening as he smiles at her from across the room.

Star smiles back, “Hey, Ty.”

“Glad you’re feeling okay.”

“Thanks, me too.”

Tina hums up at Starla who shushes the older curly haired woman as Tyler moves where the main counter used to be.

“I thought I heard a familiar voice in here,” Sugar greets as she leads the way with Carmy and Sydney not far behind, “how are you? Doing okay? Missed you.”

Starla lightly laughs as the blonde ambushes her with questions and hugs, “I’ve missed you too, Nat.”

“Jesus, let the girl breathe, will you?” Richie calls out while Sugar turns a icy glare to the man with the sledgehammer.

“How’s billy?” Sydney asks afterwards, “…you know the goat?”

“Wow, that joke was awful. Hi, Syd.” Starla says with her usual smile full of laughter lines as the girls share a high-five in greeting.

Starla adds, “I’m definitely vegan now and I’m also wondering why no one’s been looking after my plant.”

Of course Starla knew this was a big request to ask of anybody here and she asked numerous of times if it was okay to leave here. She was met with lots of reassurance from the Berzatto siblings and Sydney that it was fine, just to be met with her dear Cecil fighting for his life here.

“Oh fuck.” Sugar hisses as she peers over at her brother who holds a hand up from his crossed arm position, “I knew we were forgetting to do something.”

Starla pouted as she shifts her jacket from one arm to the other, “It was my mistake for thinking that this currently boarded up place had enough light for my baby.”

“It does—

Carmy starts…

“It will!” Sugar and Sydney say at the same time as Carmy starts speaking a word to Starla.

Tyler raises a finger, “I wish I would have known that was your plant, I would have taken it back to mine and my mom, who’s in town, could have looked after it. She’s good with things like that.”

“Oh no, you’ve done more than enough,” Starla fans her hand at the bandana wearing man, “Thank you though.”

Tyler dips his head with a smile again and Carmy picks up on this. It was no secret that Tyler’s been the most hands on when it came to Starla falling ill. Starla was not expecting this and appreciated the rest who did reach out to her considering they were all under intense pressure. A simple text was fine every now and then just to check in but Tyler felt the need to show up with remedies of self-care packages with the time he did make for her.

It was also no secret that Tyler had his eyes on Starla. How he would get caught just staring at her adoringly from across the room, completely checked out from any conversation he may be having with anyone else. He reached out to Carmy after hearing from Uncle Jimmy about the “shit ton” of help he was going to need in rebuilding the family business.

Carmy was reluctant on bringing Tyler in but he knew he needed more cooks and sure Tyler was only used to preparing diner meals (since that’s all he worked in back in Massachusetts and what he was familiar and comfortable with) but breakfast was Tyler’s specialty, he was eager to learn the ropes, and he had his own special craft.

Who was Carmy to deny that?

Carmy and Tyler weren’t the closest growing up, with Tyler only being a year older but it’s not like they saw each other a lot back then either. If Carmy told you that his mother, Donna Berzatto was a lot…then you can only imagine her younger sister, Lydia, who happened to be Tyler’s mother.

Donna was three years older than Aunt Lydia and once upon a time they were proven to be very close growing up from the bits and pieces Carmy remembers. Apparently Lydia was a, “Prissy man stealing whore and if she had the chance she would have stolen your father if he wasn’t in love with me instead!”

Whatever transpired between his mother and Tyler’s had nothing to do with Carmy’s relationship with his cousin. They just never saw each other, Tyler was heavily into science as a kid, with aliens being at the top of the list, and easily socializing with others whereas Carmy had a stutter that made him shy, studying denim along with ways to style jeans snd preferred world travel books. They emailed a couple of times as kids until Tyler started going to camp and Carmy rather stick to seeing what Michael was up to.

“Look uh, Star. I’m sorry about the plant—

“Cecil.”

Carmy blinked, “what?”

“His name, it’s Cecil.”

Carmy looked around at all the other faces in the room with him right now, resulting in wide eyes from Sugar, a shrug of shoulders from Syd, a stern look from Tina, amusement on Tyler’s face and Sweeps just continued eating unfazed.

“Show some fucken respect, Carmy. StarStar said the things name is Cecil. Cecil the plant! so address it as such!” Richie yelled out to the stressed man.

Starla thought she saw Carmy’s eye twitch and she was expecting that to become an argument between the two men—like usual—but Carmy simply just ran his hands over his face in distress. Exhaling he stepped forward to rest his hands on Starla’s shoulders.

“Want to catch up in the kitchen for a sec, Star?” Carmy asked, peering at the woman.

Starla answers, “sure.”

And with that they exit the deconstructed room to head into the kitchen together but not without a set of wondering eyes. Starla follows Carmy into the office where he awaits for her to take a seat while she’s stops, staring at the hole in the wall.

She pointed while Carmy exhales, “just another thing to add to the list.”

“Okay…so fill me in.”

“Have a seat first.”

“Oh god.”

“No, it’s not anything like that.”

Starla takes a seat, eyes going over some paint swatches for the new office and tilted her head at the sight, trying to fully picture it.

“First and foremost, how are you holding up?”

Starla wiggled in her seat, fixing her imaginary bow around her neck, “Oh! Just dandy, Mr. Berzatto. I sure do appreciate your sentiments.”

Carmy snorts, reaching forward to lightly shove her knees away playfully, “okay, wise ass. No but seriously, you’re doing okay?”

“Always! Of course,” Starla beams with a fan of her hand, “When am I not?”

Carmy presses his elbows into his knees, “uh two weeks ago when you were puking and shitting your brains out?”

“I don’t need the throwback visuals. I lived it already, thanks.” Starla crossed one leg over the other.

Carmy clears his throat, “uh right, yeah. Sorry.”

“Uh huh…are you okay, Chef?”

Carmy shifts his eyes back from the tunnel that wants to set in, a flash of white almost appearing above Starla’s head as he focuses in on the question that’s asked of him.

“Hm?”

“Is something bothering you? Want to talk about it?”

“Oh no,” Carmy frowns with a brief close of his eyes, “I didn’t bring you back here to talk about me. I wanted to check in with you because I know I haven’t been as attentive as I could have been when you were down and I want to apologize for that.”

Starla shrugs, “all I care about is Cecil. His growth should be much bigger and that was a bit of a let down.”

Carmy begins bouncing his leg, “And I don’t ever want you to feel that way because of me, especially when it was my responsibility to at least look out for the damn plant.”

“Talk to it, water it, give it sunlight, and breathe it in.” Starla listed.

“…that salt you’re throwing…stings you know?”

Starla let’s out a small laugh, “well there was a cigarette just lingering in his soil. How is he supposed to grow if there’s nothing but toxins being placed on his roots?”

Carmy couldn’t say much to that since he couldn’t recall if he was the culprit who may or may not have thrown the stick in there on his way out. He also felt like Starla was giving him some philosophy lesson since she tended to do that without notice sometimes. And whenever he pointed it out, she’d just whisper her grandfather’s name who was a retired philosophy professor down at Columbia College Chicago.

“Heard,” carmy remembers to breathe, “I fucked up.”

“Kinda but that’s okay. I won’t hold it against you,” Starla placed her hand on top of Carmy’s, who briefly stares down at their hands together, “We all do sometimes and I’ll get Cecil back together.”

“I have no doubts about that,” Carmy answers, “you’re the one with the green thumb.”

“And apparently Tyler’s mom is too.”

Carmy sits back at that, suddenly quiet which makes a frown attempt to make it’s way on Starla’s round face.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That thing you just did with your face.”

“I just look like this, what do you want me to do?” Carmy was confused and Starla can’t help but to snort out a laugh.

Starla gets to her feet, brown coat held in her hands, “okay car…”

“Are we good?” Carmy stares up at her.

Starla pauses, pretending to think about it, “Duh! I don’t know if you know this Carmy but i consider you family and you’re stuck with me.”

Carmy felt a crooked smile itching to break onto the corner of his lips but he just shakes his head at the brunette. He’s not sure how to feel about that or if he should feel a way about that but at least it’s something.

At least she’s not pissed at him.

The thing about Starla is you’re never sure when she’s upset. She’s usually the happy go lucky one in the restaurant, the soft spoken one. Carmy quickly learned why Michael liked having her around. She brought a sense of peace during the chaos. Starla was as interesting as it comes since she had the culinary experience but didn’t feel the obsession with it.

Cooking became a hobby and once it became a profession she learned it wasn’t something she was in love with like other chefs. She wasn’t ready to devote her entire life into the craft and respectfully she stepped away from it. Until she came across Chicagoland, ready to order until she heard Michael Berzatto yelling about the lack of ingredients. She stepped in with a suggestion and from there, Michael wanted her in the shop for her quick thinking but gentle nature.

It wasn’t a done deal by any means, she proved herself in the kitchen with her out of the box thinking. Yes she went to school for a year, almost two, which she learned a lot spending time in the Netherlands but that didn’t feel like her purpose. It just felt like a experience that she was grateful for and could share with others from time to time but she enjoyed the roots of culinary arts in different spaces.

Which means most of her time was spent working at farmer’s markets and tending to farms (yes in Chicago!) and community gardens. That’s where her heart lay but she had to be honest and say a piece of it would always be here too.

“Good, Good.” Carmy states as he’s now on his feet, resting his arm across Starla’s shoulder, beginning to lead her out of the office while his phone buzzes.

Starla sighs, “you know what would make this tense energy better?”

“What’s that?” Carmy searches his pocket for his phone, peeking at it but continued holding it in his hand.

She rests her head against his shoulder in deep thought, “Making popsicles.”

“Marcus is still in Copenhagen.”

“Please. I’m well aware, that’s my other bestie. Location on at all times.” Starla stares at Carmy as if he’s just offended her.

Carmy scratches at his brow, thankful that his phone stopped buzzing, “that’s a thing?”

“Heck yeah it is! You can’t just send my bestie away to another country and not expect me to not keep consensual tabs on him! And I would do the same thing for each and everyone of you if they decide to leave for awhile.”

Carmy stops walking as he looks at Starla, “and what if you decide to leave?”

“Then…I guess that means I’d truly wouldn’t want to be found. Which would take a lot for me to do, I’m sure.” Starla faces the wild-haired man who pinched at his bottom lip in thought.

Carmy recently had this dream—or nightmare of Starla calling it quits. He summed it up as Starla breaking free—and that’s on high school musical! There were haunting cellos, the setting was iridescent but gritty and Carmy couldn’t see Starla’s face. He just knew they were sitting face to face on a white solid floor that turned into milk and he kept wanting to reach out to her but couldn’t. He felt his mouth moving but couldn’t hear anything but the cellos.

carmy didn’t know what that would mean if that became reality.

“Popsicles in the middle of April? I don’t know about that, we’re still trying to get the repairs done because we really can’t fail another inspection.” Carmy informs Starla who grips his shoulders.

“Listen, we can all use a beach day.”

“I’m not going to beach.” Carmy’s nose scrunched in distaste.

Starla pokes at his chest, “Okay fine! We don’t have to physically go there but I’ll bring the beach to you.”

“How is that going to work?”

“You have all this extra space now.” She taps her temple.

“There’s mold in the back room, holes in the walls, Syd and I are still working on the menu, walls that still need to be painted, inspections that need to be approved, new furniture that’s been placed in storage—

“And we will get to all of that. I’m sure all of the progress that you’ve made still counts for something and I can’t wait for you to realize that.” Starla told Carmy as she squeezed his shoulders, “and I’m gonna make you a appointment with my mom so she can get those boulders out of your shoulders but first…popsicles!”

Just like a flash of a camera, Starla whirls by him, pushing the kitchen doors open as she claps her hands getting the attention of everyone, “friends! May I have your attention, please?!”

“Guys! Star’s talking!” Tyler calls out to the rest, eyes solely set on her.

Starla winks at the round blue-gray eyed man across the room in thanks before clearing her throat, “Carmy and I are proposing the idea of a summer’s day.”

“Which means what? I don’t follow.” Tina asks, figuring that maybe a new culinary term she may have missed out on.

“I’m gonna go striking?!” Richie raises his fist in the air with a wide grin full of teeth.

Sydney immediately shields her face, “Oh please no.”

“Hearing that is making me nauseous again.” Sugar covers her mouth.

“You better not, don’t nobody want to see that.” Tina points at the taller man who just kisses his lips at the Latina.

“What?! I’ve got a great body,” Richie defends, “Just ask Freya!”

Fak pokes his head out from around the corner, “I believe you buddy! I’ve accidentally walked in on them once—

“Whoa! Hey! Shut the fuck up, please.” Carmy scowls, not wanting his old time friend to finish that sentence.

“Love you man, thanks for having my back! Unlike some people.” Richie slaps Fak on his back while glaring at Carmy who sneers at him in response.

Starla puts her hand on Carmy’s shoulder while sending a look to Richie who stands back on the balls of his feet, slowly putting his F U motion down from his chin once he realized Starla’s brown eyes were on his.

“As I was saying…we’re bringing summer to the bear a little early! Which means—

She lightly bumps Carmy’s shoulder to finish, “which means uh, making popsicles.”

“Making popsicles?” Sweeps asks, “I’m down.”

“And what else?” Carmy whispers to Starla.

Starla tells, “and we’re gonna have a beach day basically.”

“How are we gonna do that? Are we actually going to beach?” Tina questions.

Carmy quickly tossed in, “No. we don’t really have the time.”

“But we have time to make popsicles?” Sydney holds her arms out in bafflement.

It’s Carmy’s turn to stare at his partner considering her very valid concerns, “Look I know this is unexpected coming from me. However I’m taking my conversation with Star into consideration and will allow this break as a uh—as a learning experience for us all. I’m not the best at desserts and treats so this’ll give us the chance to bond and get inspired by your inputs by contributing this to the menu.”

“Wow, Carmy. That was beautiful.” Fak cradles his wrench to his chest while Carmy just shrugs, briefly glancing at Starla who smiles at him.

Sugar lifts her shoulder, “whatever, I can use a beach day.”

“You just pulled that out of your ass but I’m fucken tired of looking at these walls so why not?” Richie tossed the sledgehammer over his shoulder, making Angel quickly side-step out of the way.

Carmy ignores Richie again, “Angel, Manny. You guys can head on home and we’ll save you some of the popsicles for you to try tomorrow. Thanks for your work today.”

“You got it boss.”

“Good luck!” Angel chucks up the deuces as he leads the way through the kitchen.

Tina raises her hand, making Carmy point at her, “Jeffery, you said you’re not much of dessert guy so who’s gonna lead us on this?”

“Is it gonna be you, Star?” Sydney asks.

It’s Tyler’s turn to raise his hand, “Um, I can show everyone.”

Carmy blows out a breath, “I was hoping you say that.”

Everyone found themselves gathered in the kitchen, the heart of the bear as Tyler awkwardly held everyone’s attention. Breakfast maybe his specialty but slushies counted as breakfast just as much as smoothies. And popsicles were in the same category right? Tyler knows what he was doing, he swears! Starla stood right beside him, resting a hand full of comfort on his arm which made him stand up a little taller.

“Walk us through the steps, Chef.” Carmy tells his cousin, swaying from one foot to the other as Tyler swallows his nerves but nods his head.

Tyler clasps his hands together, “Okay so popsicles. It’s a lot easier than some might think and I believe we have all the tools we need…depending on what type of popsicles we’re interested in making.”

“I’m sure whatever you choose will be tasty.” Sugar encourages as she leans against one of the tables.

Tyler smiles a bit at his family member, “okay so what you would do is select the fruits you want as your main flavors. I know we have some fruits we can spare, perhaps the raspberries and pineapples?”

“Whatever you need, Chef.” Carmy replies.

Tyler continues, “Thank you Chef. We’re going to chop those fruits up and set half of them to the side but depending on the consistency you want, keep to the side or you can blend the other half or the entire fruit if that makes sense. From there you want to pick your liquid, I personally think rice milk is fire and also your safe bet if you’re serving to a party of people for the first time.”

“Rice milk? That’s a choice.” Sydney hums as she takes this in.

“Yes, Chef. I think it has the best consistency out of all the milks but I’m sure you and Carmy will figure out the best options if this becomes a keeper.”

Sydney glimpses at Carmy who holds her stare before they both turn back to Tyler. Starla also takes notice of this but figured that their thing and has nothing to do with her so she gives Tyler her time.

He goes on about selecting a sweetener of choice, he likes agave nectar, and possibly a hint of something cool, which is optional, like mint whether fresh or with syrup along with a splash of lime. Tina, Sydney, and Richie are on chopping duty while Tyler, Starla, and sweeps tend to the liquids.

Carmy is supervising it all, watching syrup come together as one in a pot before they have to get combined with the fruit. Tyler asks carmy for a few important tools, curious if that was something the restaurant owned for this snack since it’s not what he used back home at the diner. They don’t have the right machine to freeze the popsicles in minutes, which is okay Starla notifies, saying that they can actually venture off to the beach day as she disappears for a good twenty minutes while the rest carry on.

Starla spins around Carmy, seeming brighter as Tyler is using a stainless steel confectionary funnel to pour the soup like popsicle into the molds that sat on the counter. He then encourages everyone to do the same with the set of molds before bringing them to the freezer.

“That shit looks good as fuck, how long do they have to sit for?” Tina asks with a lick of her lips.

Tyler is wiping his hands on a rag, “I’d say at least six hours.”

“Six hours?! It’s already three o’clock.”

Tyler pursed his lips but appears apologetic, “If we had those huge instant freezers then we wouldn’t have to wait as long but time flies fast.”

“I’m leaving at six by the latest, make sure you guys save me one.” Sugar orders with a smile.

“What’s next?”

Fak exhales, “Man, That was shortest break ever.”

“It’s not over yet,” Starla places her hands on the counter, “please head to the beach oasis where the lockers once were.”

Murmurs fill the kitchen area as everyone heads in the direction mentioned. There sat a few beach chairs, towels, decorative sand, a umbrella, a projector that showed the ocean, along with the nagging sound of seagulls, and finally LED studio lights that mimics the hot sun during a summer’s day.

“Whaaaat!” Fills the room as everyone stared around the space in awe.

Starla calls out, “Welcome to a beach day at the bear, friends!”

“There’s actually a cooler here full of beer, hard lemonade and sandwiches. I’m sold and I love you, kid!” Richie yells, ready to yank his arms out of his shirt but not without yanking Starla’s cheeks to place a kiss on her forehead before stalking back to the sand.

Starla watches in peace as everyone makes themselves comfortable from sitting down or lounging in the faux sand.

“You really went all out,” Carmy says from beside Starla, “how long have you had this planned?”

“It’s been on my mind for awhile actually but it really came into effect after I learned about all these inspections,” Starla confesses, “Go on, look at the water, listen to the waves and the seagulls. Really enjoy it and be one with nature.”

Enjoyment? What’s that?

Carmy scratches at his hair, “…I’ll try as long as you officially promise you’re gonna be with us on opening night?”

“Do you really want another chopped on your hands?” Starla inquires.

Carmy looks up at the ceiling thinking about it. He’s heard about Starla’s unaired episode on chopped and how that was the third straw on her not wanting to seriously cook anymore. He figured it was traumatic enough especially since there’s footage that’s not been seen. He felt for Starla truly but he wasn’t afraid to push because he felt she needed to be on his team. If Michael saw it in her then, Carmy definitely saw it too.

“You’re better than that.”

“Oh, I’m not so sure.”

“Practice makes perfect.”

“Nothings perfect and I accept that.”

“Well I don’t.”

“Carmy, Starla’s said before that she doesn’t know if she’ll be with us in the kitchen on opening night and we should just respect that. Im sure she’ll still be here to support regardless if she has on a apron or not.” Tyler cuts in, making them both realize that he had been right beside them this entire time.

Carmy turns his stare to Tyler then, “I didn’t really ask for your input on this, Tyler. I’m the one that gets the say on building this team.”

Tyler sighs, “I’m just saying if you’re trying to keep your team then maybe you shouldn’t just only see your point of view. That’s all.”

Carmy’s tone is clipped now, “I’m sorry, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Starla’s been saying that she doesn’t feel enjoyment in cooking anymore. It just a hobby but Michael wanted her here and you’re kinda forcing her to still be here, although it’s part time. Don’t you get that it sounds like guilt tripping?”

“Are you serious?” Carmy glared at Tyler now, “do you honestly think I have to force anyone to be here? Like I’m not building this to actually be worth something? Worth something that people want to work here, put their soul into? Anybody can fuck off, including you.”

“Hey, Car.” Starla steps forward pushing his finger down as she looks back at Tyler who’s brows are raised, “Ty. Let’s calm down.”

“Honestly…screw that.” Is Tyler’s retort, “Just because he owns this place doesn’t mean he gets to shit on everybody else that may see and think differently from him. He doesn’t really appreciate you, Star. Not enough to let you go.”

“What’re you saying, you asshole?”

“I think you know what I’m saying, you’re just choosing not to hear it or deal with it.” Tyler is calm but his voice holds weight to it.

The sound goes right out of Carmy’s ears as Starla and Tyler share words. He didn’t know why Tyler thought he can come in here, after Carmy allowed him to be here and try to talk shit to him? Tyler didn’t know anything. He was just as new to this place as Carmy once was and he didn’t understand why Tyler felt the need to come at him right now? He’s been as patient as he can with Tyler, picking up on his weaknesses easily in the kitchen but kept them to himself.

He was family after all.

They didn’t get the chance to talk much when it came to Tyler’s personal connection to the kitchen or anything really but here he was speaking on Starla. Like Carmy was a crap person for wanting to see Starla reach her potential. He couldn’t fathom that Tyler was trying to tell him about her. Carmy’s been around Starla much longer than Tyler was and he didn’t miss how he was all puppy dog eyes whenever she was around.

He couldn’t blame him but he also couldn’t stand it.

Carmy usually wasn’t the impulsive one and tended to disassociate from all situations that ended up being too much. He was used to people belittling him and talking at him instead of with him. So he may have been triggered and didn’t realize that he pulled Starla out of the way to get to Tyler.

Until the sound entered his ears again.

“Carmy!”

It was sugar’s voice that brought him back into the scene. He was held up against the wall by Richie, with Sugar trying to get his attention but his eyes continued to search around. Tyler was getting up from the ground, holding his throat while Tina and Sweeps checked on his well-being.

On the floor sat Starla, holding her side, steel table slightly pushed to the side as her eyes swam with tears and Sydney stayed crouched in front of her. Both women turned their gaze to Carmy who was fighting to remember to breathe.

What did he do?

“You tried to rough him up, cousin.” Richie declared as Carmy’s glaciers fought to settle on Richie.

Sugar grips her brother’s face, feeling a bit of déjà vu, “ I love you, Carmen. Please…just calm down for me.”

And as he looked at his sister, he somewhat was.

“You good?” Richie asked, arm still pressed against Carmy’s chest but it was almost like he felt nothing.

Not until he noticed the swinging of the doors, signaling that Tyler was now out of the kitchen and Starla shakily beginning to collect her things.

“Star,” Carmy croaked out, “I’m—

“No!” Starla hissed before slamming her hand on the counter as Carmy almost moved to step towards her, “NO! You don’t get to act like that and expect me to be fine, it’s not right Carmy. This isn’t. I’m tired too and I don’t know how much more you think I can give.”

Carmy feels his stomach turning, like a washing machine off track—much like his own mind, “Don’t leave.”

A watery smile appears on her facial features then and she struggles to suck in some air, making a dull ache appear in Carmy’s chest at the sound.

He was the reason, he didn’t do enough.

“That’s the problem friend,” she gets out before she walks off with her things, taking the light right with her.

Carmy wants to be left alone, hours after that. He silences Claire, Sydney is at a lost for words and that’s another feeling he can’t describe as she leaves with his sister, Tina gives him a squeeze and a look to Richie who just nods his head, before she also leaves with Sweeps accompanying her as the night falls.

Richie knows that this moment was a huge one because he’s had plenty. Carmy needed help and if what he had with Starla is truly broken, he was going to need all the support he can get. Everyone in the bear has never had that on the outside and that’s one of the reasons why everyone’s connection is so strong on the inside. Perhaps that’s what brought them all together.

He doesn’t want to stare at the younger man for long, knowing that carmy would turn his anger on him so he leaves him in the kitchen and takes a seat on a bucket at the front of the restaurant, his desired spot.

That doesn’t stop richie from yelling that he’s here for carmy if he needs him.

He hopes one day he will as he lights up a cigarette and browses Facebook, seeing a picture of Tiffany with Frank on that jackoff’s page.

Richie should block him but can’t bring himself to.

Carmy is back in the freezer, door pinned back with a box full of beef stock as the light inside flickers above his head while he checks on the popsicles. He doesn’t have the energy to find a wooden stick, so he brings the mold back into the kitchen and pushes the frozen treat from the mold.

The popsicle slides against the steel table, leaving a light trail of its liquid behind. With shaky hands, Carmy scoops up the biting cold popsicle and let’s it sit against his skin for a minute before shoving it into his mouth.

It’s the right amount of sweetness and barley tart, as it melts against his tongue while he buries his head into his forearms that rests on the counter.

Blocking out the view of the kitchen and everything in between.

“Let’s go out.”

Starla doesn’t feel like it’s appropriate given the situation but the look in Tyler’s eyes at the front door of her apartment, she doesn’t argue much on it, tossing the ice pack into the nearby sink.

Sure she has words for Tyler too, like sticking his pointed nose in her own battles when it came to her friendship with Carmy but for tonight, she needs something else.

It’s raining hard as Starla sits on the passenger side of Tyler’s beat up pick up truck and he lets up off the gas as they locate a bar. He keeps close, attempting to shield Starla from the rain with his Jean jacket but it’s like she’s on autopilot, walking at ease; almost ahead of him as bits of rain falls over her, trying to knock her down.

Starla and Tyler both share that they aren’t much drinkers (Carmy too) so they limit themselves to two to three shots before Starla’s on the dance floor. Tyler doesn’t want to be a creep but he can’t help but to keep his eyes on the woman who gets lost on the dance floor, dancing the night away and keeping her distance away from anyone that tries to share this personal time with her.

How unlike her.

“She your girlfriend?” A brown skinned woman suddenly to his left asks with bangs.

Tyler stumbles, “ah, no. Just a friend.”

“Her lost.”

“No, it’s mine.” He sternly says to the woman who nods as she rests her hand on his chest in understanding.

Starla moved to the pulsating beat, tequila running fire through her blood with each twist of her body until she feels nothing. And when she opens her eyes to the shimmer diamond lighting along with the numerous of dancing bodies surrounding her…

She should feel alone like she commonly does in a room full of people but the gleam that outlines the frame of her being, tells her otherwise and the standstill in her movements gets her going to the beat again, head held back and arms raised high up to the ceiling with a smile splitting onto her lips.

Fear will no longer be welcomed here.

✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ * ✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ * ✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ * ✧ ˚✩‧₊˚ ⋆·˚ ༘ *

Continue along with my summer anthology series here.

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