#So... What I wanted to say in this tag ramble is... This is the first time in many years that I'll be showing out something I like

[sorrowsofsilence]

Desolate Love • N.S

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader (oneshot)

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst.

Prompt: His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love; but you weren't meant to be sung for, even if you loved each other first.

Authors note: I have never written anything like this publically before, but I'm feeling a little sad and angsty lol. I hope you enjoy the words that came from my heart. (ps. I know many on the taglist are here for smut, and this isn’t smut, but I'm just re-using tags since I'm not sure who enjoys what! Pls let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all things!!)

Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak @darkmxgician

No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.

He got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.

A reminder of what once was.

A reminder of what would never be.

You wrote unspoken words in your diary, quarrels that would never be said aloud.

Words that confessed years of feelings, years of silenced affections.

As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours.

He consumed your mind; the way he smiled at you the day you met; his contagious laughter that danced through the walls in grandeur.

“Is this Henderson’s gym class?”

The voice behind startled you, and you turned, meeting a pair of ochre eyes. The stutter that left your lips caused your face to warm in embarrassment, as the messy brunette locks that fell across the boy’s features left you captivated.

“Yeah, I think so?” Your brows furrowed as you second-guessed yourself, even though you double-checked the classroom timetable a thousand times.

His lips spread into a dancing grin, his slight buck teeth chewing playfully on his bottom lip in shyness.

“Cool,” He stuck out his hand, long fingers wrapping around yours, “Noah.”

“Y/N,” You returned the smile, your ears heating as his October gaze never left yours.

You pulled away, briefly glancing down at his shirt, immediately excited.

“You like blink-182?”

Noah looked down at his shirt, pointing at it, “Oh yea, I fucking love them.”

He glanced up at you, fixated, “Do you?”

You nodded excitedly, “They’re probably my favourite band at the moment, other than the 1975, and Oasis, and-” you began to ramble, but stopped, afraid to embarrass yourself anymore than you felt you had.

Something flickered within his eyes at that moment; something you never noticed.

“Wonderwall?” He asked.

A song that became yours.

The burned CD he gave you collected dust in the corner of your room, aged and scratched from years of use. The disk player sat untouched, left as a painful reminder from when the tunes that played were melodies of hope; melodies of elation.

These feelings of grief consumed you, engulfing you into an overwhelming feeling of remorse.

The waves of heartbreak came and left, nostalgia shielding your anguish when memories flooded in.

No one ever filled you with such devotion and desire as he did; and throughout the naivety, you could have sworn it to be love.

It was the way Noah would shout your name from across the room when he saw you, or the way he would cover your eyes, asking you to guess who.

Every time you would laugh, placing your hands on top of his, saying you weren’t sure.

But you knew every time.

His long fingers would twirl your hair when he sat behind you in class, tugging the strands playfully before running his nails over your scalp.

“I just like your hair,” He’d say.

And whenever he picked up his guitar in the band room, he would strum the chords to your song, as if inviting you to listen to his lyrical confessions.

His texts consisted of using silly nicknames, and an overload of emojis to express his feelings. It was over the top, almost as if he was afraid he never came across as genuine enough without them.

Late night conversations went on for hours, laughing at the random stories and memories exchanged through flirtatious banter. You wanted to tell him everything about you, and learn everything about him.

You wanted to know his favourite colour, and what cologne he wore. His goals and dreams intrigued you, his fears and dislikes alluring.

You began to like the things he did, just to have something to talk about. You watched the shows he recommended and googled the things you didn’t know. Anything for him.

Noah would tell you how proud he was of you if you shared an accomplishment, or how pretty you looked when you wore your hair down.

He told you he loved your sneakers, and the way your oversized sweaters engulfed your body.

“You could wear mine,” He said, “You look good in my clothes.”

He would grab your hands, drawing silly pictures in Sharpie. It always left you frustrated when the image of an scribbled smiley face barely faded with each scrub.

But really, you would stare at it in admiration, blushing at the thought of his fingers brushing against yours.

“You like him, don’t you?” Your best friends pried, causing you to flush in embarrassment.

“He doesn’t like me like that,” You sighed, shaking your head, “We’re just friends.”

Just friends don’t play with each others hair like that.

Just friends don’t call each other pretty.

Just friends don’t text each other all night long.

“Is it easier to just pretend?”

Time went on, and your heart fluttered at every smile Noah shared with you, and at every word you exchanged.

The daily good morning and goodnight texts left you melting, succumbing your heart to his as he claimed it for his own.

Deep down, you knew he liked you more than just a friend. The way he treated you was special; there was no way that was how friends treat friends.

N: “Hey, your crush 100% likes you back.”

You: “Uhh hey? How would you know?”

N: “Well, I know who you like.”

You: “I guarantee you don’t.”

N: “Hmm, but I do? And I know he likes you back.”

You: “Sure Noah, haha. Go to bed.”

N: “I’m just saying. He likes you. Goodnight Y/N <3”

With a spiralling mind, your heart hammered.

Did he know how you felt about him? Did he just confess his feelings?

Hope.

It wasn’t until he pulled you into the storage closet a week later, that sorrow knocking down any previous signs of faith.

Torn.

“Y/N, I just wanted to talk… but I know you have feelings for me.”

His eyes bore into your own, sorrowful and sullen.

“Look,” he began, grabbing your hands in his, eyes glancing at your entwined fingers, “I- I just promised myself to someone else. My girl- ex-girlfriend, is coming here, and the reason we broke up was because I transferred.”

He began to ramble, unable to look into your eyes as he confessed his worries. Your heart began to shatter as you forced a small smile. Pulling your hands from his you placed them on his shoulders, causing him to pause.

“Noah,” You said softly, the words leaving your mouth a blatant lie, “It’s ok. I understand.“

His shoulders fell as he watched you. He brought you into a hug, squeezing you against his body, holding onto you.

Ludicrous. Empty.

You cried, your knees held to your chest in comfort as a shield from the feelings of abandonment. How could you be so naive?

You: “Just wanted to say thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if my feelings complicate things, I care about you a lot Noah.”

N: “I’m sorry, for everything. You mean a lot to me, and I care about you. ”

You: “If you knew who I liked all along… why did you say that my crush liked me back?”

It took him almost an hour to respond.

N: “Because I do like you Y/N. I like you a lot… but I promised myself to someone.”

The tears that fell from your face that night left you parched and broken, your world-shattering.

You found someone else a year later. Love that fulfilled your every need, someone to cherish you for you. It was someone who gave you everything; but your mind selfishly always wandered back to him.

You didn’t know that the day he found out you became spoken for, was the day he broke into a million pieces from a whole.

His heart was mutilated, head spinning with uncontrollable thoughts of regret.

How could he have let you slip through his fingers? All for some what-ifs?

He pretended to be happy for you.

Years passed, and you both grew. Both changed, both matured.

You got a ring, and Noah played in a band. You went to every show, you still showed up, even though you knew you were always a second choice.

He watched you the whole time as his fingers traced the strings of the guitar, and your heart yearned for him; screaming and aching and crying that you were just a body in the room.

It wasn’t until he found someone, that you told yourself it wasn’t healthy to fixate on past uncertainties.

It was rare you went to shows now. But when you did, you watched as he stood on that stage and sung; his smile brilliant and just for her.

But then you would meet his gaze, and you knew that the ochre was always for you. Forever yours.

His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love.

But you weren’t his: you weren’t mean’t to be sung for.

Some nights you called him drunk. You told him you missed him, that you wanted him to know you think about him all the time.

He told you he missed your voice, and how he wished you two still called.

He said he was happy you found someone to love you, because you deserved to be loved.

You knew he was lying.

It was the last time you talked, until you saw him sitting in the audience as you walked down the aisle, marrying a man you loved. A man who promised himself to you forever. A man who chose you first. A man who was not him.

Noah asked for your hand, he asked you for a dance. Your bodies swayed one last time in a synchronized beat, but just as friends; as desolate lovers.

You never listened to Wonderwall again.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours. You were meant to be happy now.

As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.

A reminder of what would never be.

A reminder of what once was.

Noah got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.

No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.

#sorrows of silence masterlist #bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noah sebastian davis #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian angst #angst #sad poem #bad omens angst #angst fanfic #desolate love

[gemini-sensei]

binary boyfriends pt2👀👀

Binary Boyfriends x Innocent!Reader

● Part 1 ●

Shout out to @cades-outsider bc they motived me to finish this post 😆 hope you don't mind if I tag you <3

CW: first sexual experience, first blowjob, guiding blowjob, use of "good girl", gagging, cum eating, tit play, fingering, mlm sex. A/N: I didn't have time to edit this but I had to finish it, so have it and please enjoy.

The tour of the Valley Hawk and Demetri ended up giving Reader was a lot more fun than they first thought it would be. They've lived there their entire lives, so of course they didn't think it would be interesting, but Reader changed that really quickly. Everywhere they went, she made the most of it, even if it was as simple as showing her what grocery store to shop at because it had better prices. But they didn't just show her the practical spots, they showed her the hot spots around town.

When they sat down for lunch at Hawk's favorite pizza place, Reader rambled about how great the Valley already was. Though she complained that her apartment was lonely and her neighbors were a little rude, but she always tried to look on the bright side of things. However the thought stuck with Hawk and Demetri as she continued on about maybe getting a pet. Then Hawk, seemingly out of nowhere, invited her over for a movie at their place.

She accepted happily and the first night she came over, she brought her favorite throw blanket and snacks. They've made the place cozy for her, more pillows and blankets laid out on the couch. She sits on one of of the couch so Hawk and Demetri can cuddle up - which by the way, Demetri is the big spoon by default when cuddling on the couch; he's too lanky and awkward to be the little spoon. Nothing else happened that night other than watching a movie with new friends. However, movie nights at Hawk and Demetri's place became a normal thing.

After her coming over so often, there's one night when their friendship changes...

They picked a newer movie to watch thinking nothing of it but it turned out to be a snore-fest. It was hard to sit through and Reader found herself so bored, messing with her phone more than anything else. She didn't want to say anything because at first, it seemed like Hawk and Demetri were enjoying it. However, she didn't really see the way Demetri was rolling his eyes at what was happening on screen.

Then an out-of-nowhere sex scene came on. It wasn't bad - just extremely out of place.

Demetri got uncomfortable fast and Hawk knew it; Hawk fucking felt it and teased him quietly for the duration of the scene. Demetri had to clamp his mouth shut but had a little trouble. He would look over at Reader as she stared at the screen, a little in shock. And that was when he remembered she was so sweet and innocent and probably didn't look at anything like that. The thought made him come in his pants and Hawk had to hold back a laugh.

Demetri excused himself quickly after that, red in the face and in need of a change of clothes. And he gave Hawk a pointed look on his way out, to which Hawk gave a smirk that was not at all innocent.

Hawk turned off the movie but only after that scene had ended. "I couldn't take anymore of that."

Reader, also flustered, nodded. "Yeah, um, it was certainly something."

Hawk laughed and nodded. "Yeah, it was so bad, I wasn't expecting that to happen."

Reader nodded but didn't say anything else. Hawk took the moment to scoot over on the couch closer to her. He wanted to say something but all the things he wanted to say were caught in his throat, so he put his arm around her.

She looked at him. "What are you doing?"

While she was innocent and never had a boyfriend before, she knew the signs. And seeing them come from Hawk was a little weird - he had a boyfriend! - so she was unsure of what exactly was going on. She didn't want to think the worst, this was her friend after all, but she had to ask before something weird happened.

He smiled. "You caught me."

"Yeah, and?"

"Look, Reader, you're really cute and hot," he told her, turning his body to face her. He pulled his arm away, sensing that that wasn't the move.

She stared at him and whispered, "Hawk... you have a boyfriend."

"Who is as into as I am," he told her, flashing that confident smile.

She gasped because that just sounded crazy to her because no one had ever shown interest in her before. What was this? It made her heart hammer in her chest and she didn't know if she liked that or not. In all honesty, it was a little overwhelming.

"Really?"

"Really," a voice said from the hall.

She turned to look, finding Demetri in a new pair of pajama pants, but they did little to hide his still-hard cock. It created a rather big tent in the front of his pants and Reader found herself staring at him, mouth agape.

"Jesus Christ," Hawk laughed, unable to keep his mouth shut. He looked away from his boyfriend and to Reader. "Sorry about him, he's a mess."

"Hey, don't act like you didn't do this," Demetri said accusingly. "You sat here and got me off during that lewd fuck fest that should not have been in that movie! So I don't want to hear your greater than thou crap right now!"

Reader's jaw managed to drop lower as she heard this. "You guys... did stuff with me here?"

They looked at her, both a little embarrassed now that she had put it like that. "Kind of?"

Hawk swallowed hard. "Yes, but this was only the first time something like this has happened with you here."

"Something like that with me here?" she asked, looking between them. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Demetri began stammering. "Well, um, you see... sometimes, uh," then it call came out at once. "Wehavesexandthinkaboutyouwhilewedoit."

"Excuse me?"

Hawk jumped in. "It's not what it sounds like. Really. I mean, we just think you're so great and gorgeous and super fucking hot."

She stared at them for a long while, curled up under her blanket. What they don't know is that they've totally flattered her. No one has ever thought about her like this, at least not that they've ever admitted. And she was a little turned on by this strange form of flattery.

What she said next left them speechless and eager:

"Would you show me?"

That's how they ended up with Reader perched on the edge of the couch getting lessons in how to give a blowjob. Hawk held her hand around the base of Demetri's huge cock as she sucked on the tip. His eyes were closed as he stood before them, her inexperienced mouth on him hot and wet and so eager to learn. He had to remind himself he wanted to see this and unscrew his eyes to watch.

"Now, let your jaw relax and take more of him in your mouth," Hawk instructed.

Reader did as told, but gagged when his tip hit the back of her throat. She pulled back and coughed and Hawk rubbed her back, telling her it was okay, that happens sometimes. She took a few deep breaths before taking Demetri in her mouth again and Hawk, turned on from watching, let out a low "Good girl. Don't give up."

She bobbed her head over what she could take of Demetri's length, her hands around the base of his cock. Hawk helped her squeeze and pump his dick, but didn't have her do too much while she was still learning. Demetri was moaning and groaning, muttering to himself as he watched.

"Reader," he groaned and she looked up at him with her pretty, innocent eyes. "Oh shit."

"That means he's close," Hawk rasped in her ear, smirking. "Let's help him finish."

He put a hand on the back of Reader's head and slowly pushed her onto him. As Demetri's dick was fed into her mouth, he told her to tap out if she needed to and she moaned in response, sending vibrations over Demetri that made his eyes roll. When his cock hit the back of her throat, she gagged but sat through it, soon letting her jaw and muscles relax enough that he pushed into her throat.

As soon as her tight throat was wrapped around just the tip, Demetri was coming. His cock throbbed and shot hot ropes of cum down her throat. It was a strange feelings but Reader loved it, moaning as he practically force-fed her his cum. He began to pull out after a few shots because he didn't want to overwhelm her, coming on her tongue without really meaning to and letting her taste him, which she moaned as soon as she got a taste of him. She held his cock on her tongue until he finished and Hawk helped her, tapping his boyfriend's dick on her tongue as the last few weak shots came out.

After a moment, Hawk looked at Reader, drool running down her chin. "How was that?"

"Really fun," she giggled.

"Wanna have more fun?"

She nodded and he used the hand on the back of her head to pull her into a heady kiss. He forewent little kisses and went straight into making out with her, and groaned as he tasted Demetri on her tongue. She leaned into him and he pulled her onto his lap so she felt how hard his dick was in his sweats, making her almost pull out of the kiss to gasp. She got a half of a gasp in before he groaned and pulled her back into him, smashing their lips together.

Demetri dropped onto the couch, watching them. His half-soft cock was wet with spit and glistening. He took his cock in his hand and slowly pumped his sensitive cock, this was his second orgasm of the night after all and he needed to pace himself.

When Hawk pushed his hands up Reader's shirt, squeezing and pinching her pudge sides, she pulled away and squealed with a smile. She felt hot all over and his little squeeze game was not helping with that. She smiled at him, giggling, then licked her lips and bit her lip.

He could tell something was on her mind. "What is it?"

"Can we go somewhere else?" she asked, a little shy.

He looked at Demetri, who nodded, and Hawk nodded to her. "Hell yeah."

They took her to their bedroom and threw the comforter off. Hawk laid her down and kissed her again, pulling moans out of her as his hands wandered her sides again. He loved feeling her soft fat spill between his fingers and he found the best place for that to happen be her stomach and waist, both being so soft and squeezable. Demetri teased him for it lightly as he crawled onto the bed beside him, which earned him a middle finger as Hawk didn't dare pull out of the hot make-out session to tell him off.

Demetri was impatient and wanted to see them naked, so he started pulling at Hawk's shirt. It got a little annoying and Hawk pulled away, grunting as he was forced to part from Reader's hot, swollen lips. Demetri was satisfied to get his shirt off, pulling it over Hawk's head and tossing it aside. Once it was off, his lips descended upon Hawk's lean body and kissed along the scaling skin, along his back, and his huge tattoo that Demetri swore up and down he didn't care that much for (but that was a lie because he found it to be so hot on his skin). Hawk did something similar, kissing Reader's jaw and down to her neck. Her shirt came off next when he wanted to kiss further down her body.

He licked his lips as he got a look at her fat tits in her cute bra. He had that undone soon enough and tossed it aside, staring at her tit. "Dem, look at how pretty she is."

Demetri pulled away and looked over Hawk's shoulder at her, eyes unable to stay in one place as he took in the sight of her. "Wow."

From where she lay, Reader was breathless, but it wasn't just because of the heavy making out she'd just been doing. It was the eyes on her, soaking up her upper body in a way she didn't know could make her feel all hot and bothered. She squirmed under their gaze, smiling at their flattering words. She looked away from them though, unsure of what to do or say. It made what happened next a bit of a shock.

A hot mouth came down on her nipple, sucking on it lightly, quickly followed by a second mouth that lapped at her other pert nipple. She gasped and moaned, eyes fluttering closed as she felt ecstasy course through her like hot lava. It all sent sensations to her core, which was throbbing behind her wet panties. She whined at the need to be touched there, there and everywhere else. She found herself wanting to be touched by Hawk and Demetri's big hands all over her body and she needed them so desperately, but she didn't know how to tell them that. The words were lost on her as their mouths played with her tits, sucking and teasing them mercilessly.

When Hawk had enough of sucking hickeys onto her skin, he moved further down her body while one of Demetri's hand took hold of her abandoned tit. Hawk's lips kissed a trail down her tummy, occasionally biting the soft fat as to tease her and hear her yelp. It was so hot, but not as hot as what waited for him between her legs.

He sat up some to pull her comfy pants off along with her panties, finding her soaking wet pussy. She was untouched, so he knew she was tight and that he was going to have to prep her if they were going to do anything other than oral and hand stuff. So he touched her gently and listened for her reaction, unable to see her face very well thanks to Demetri.

She gasped as he slid his thumb over her slit, spreading her wetness. He asked, "How's that?"

"Nice," she breathed out.

He hummed and nodded, watching her hole. "Tell me if you get uncomfortable or if it hurts and I'll stop. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

"Okay," she said, moaning softly because Demetri was seemingly insatiable when it came to her fat, pretty tits. He was doing wonders on her and it was sending jolts of pleasure down to her cunt, making her wetter than she even knew. "What are you going to do, Hawk?"

"I'm gonna finger you," he told her. He knew it might tire her out and that would be as far as they got, but if that were going to be the case, then he was going to do one Hell of a job at it. Only time would tell.

She whined softly and her hips thrust up as he lightly touched her clit, making Hawk realize she wasn't just untouched but touch-starved. It made him want to give her everything, but he had to pace it out. He knew he couldn't overwhelm her. He shushed her as she whimpered. "It's okay, I'm gonna make you feel so good."

At that promise, he slid one long finger into her cunt. He was right, she was tight, but her abundance of wetness made it easy to slid in knuckle-deep and he bit his lip as he watched her hungry little cunt take his digit. It was so hot. Not to mention she moaned so pretty when he did it. He slowly pulled his finger out and pushed it back in, getting her used to the feeling.

"Oh my god," she moaned softly, the feeling of his single finger accompanied by Demetri's ravishing of her tits had her head a little foggy. She couldn't help the way her hips tried to wiggle and move with Hawk's movements, making him use his free hand to hold her still, which somehow made it better. "Feels nice."

"Yeah?" he asked, smirking to himself. He was proud to hear that he could pleasure her like this. Especially since it was her first time doing anything like this. So he added a second finger and it felt nice, his fingers wrapped up in her pussy. "Shit, you're so fucking tight, baby. Wanna stretch you out."

She whined as he pushed a third finger into her, the stretch a little strange. It wasn't exactly discomfort but it was a new feeling. Her cunt clenched around his fingers and she gushed with fluid, making Hawk grin wide. He leaned down and lapped up her juices, moaning at her almost sweet taste. "Fuck, you taste divine."

When he added his tongue to the mix, Reader felt lost in the pleasure. It was the most stimulation she'd ever had at one time and as his fingers thrust in and out of her tight cunt, which was being stretched out for the first time, his tongue was lapping at her pussy lips, and Demetri was squeezing and sucking on her tits, it was over for her. She came in seconds, throwing her head back as she cried out for them so pretty. Her hands twisted up the sheets and pulled on them, almost taking them off the mattress. It was such a pretty sight, Demetri and Hawk pulled away from her to watch, except Hawk finger fucked her through it, watching her squirt all over her hand and wrist and the bedsheets.

Demetri squirmed as he watched her, cock throbbing between his legs. His lips were swollen and wet from playing with her tits so much, having left them drool-covered and perky. Pre cum dripped from the tip of his cock as he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He was due for another orgasm without a doubt, but edged himself by squeezing the base of his cock.

Hawk pulled his fingers out of Reader's twitching cunt when she finished, her body tired and shaking under their gazes. She lay there for a moment, out of breath and reeling from her first orgasm ever. Her thighs were shaking the most, trembling and jiggling with the post-orgasm bliss. She smiled, eyes still closed, as she collected herself.

"I think she's done for tonight," Demetri muttered, almost sad to say it. However, neither of them were going to push her limits, and she was clearly at her end.

Hawk smirked, obviously proud of himself. "Yeah, well, I haven't gotten my dick wet yet, so come here, babe."

Demetri followed the order happily, letting Hawk take hold of him and manhandle him to hover over Reader's exhausted body. His long, hard cock slapped against her stomach, making her open her eyes and see what they were doing, further flustered to find the two preparing to fuck over her. It made her sensitive cunt clench around nothing and she whined, biting her lip.

Hawk shoved his pants down to his knees and used Reader's hot juices to prep his cock and Demetri's hole, who was moaning so pretty for him. He didn't need a lot of prep, his hole was almost always ready to take Hawk, so he closed his eyes as Hawk pushed in and didn't waste time letting him get used to the feeling of being full.

The pace was radically different than what Reader had experienced a moment ago. From under them, she watched Demetri's face as he moaned and called out Hawk's real name - Eli - while his cock rubbed against her belly. She could only stare for a moment as they grunted and groaned over her, and when she looked over Demetri's shoulder, Hawk was staring right at her. He smirked.

"This is his dirty little fantasy," he told her of Demetri. "It's all he's dreamed of since we met you, to get fucked up the ass while you watch. And get fucked while you help him get off. And so much more. Fuck, the things he wants us to do to him, and what he wants to do to you."

At hearing all of this, Reader gaped. She couldn't believe it, but after everything they just did, she had to. So, she brought her hands up to her belly and clasped them gently around Demetri's hard cock. He whined at the feeling, dropping his head to look at it. She didn't apply a lot of pressure, letting him fuck her hands, and he was mesmerized by it. It also helped him come a lot faster, not that his previous two orgasms hadn't helped in that either.

He came in large spurts, his still-heavy balls holding too much for his own good. He came all over Reader, shots of cum reaching her tits as she lay under him and his trembling body. And even though he' was coming, Hawk was still fucking him hard. Hawk pulled his hips back into his thrusts fast and hard until he, too, came a buckets worth in his boyfriend. He grunted as he finished just as Demetri was tapering off.

Hawk pulled out of Demetri and helped him lay beside Reader, thoroughly exhausted. He could barely hold his eyes open as his cock finally got a break, making Hawk laugh as he made a trip to their master bathroom to grab a few warm rags. When he returned, Demetri was mumbling about how that was some of the best sex he'd ever had, missing how Reader was dipping her finger in the cum that was pooled between her tits and eating it. She moaned and Demetri took it as a hum of agreement, mind gone after his third and final orgasm of the night, which was a lot for him.

Hawk cleaned himself up before wiping Demetri down, leaving Reader for last as she seemed to enjoy Demetri's cum as a post-sex treat. Demetri whined as his soft cock was gently wiped down and the rag was tossed aside.

"You overdid it," Hawk laughed in his ear softly and Demetri swatted him away, face scrunching up in slight annoyance. "It's true."

Once they were cleaned up enough, Hawk got a fresh rag and wiped Reader's wet thighs and sensitive pussy. She gasped and watched him. He used his tongue to lap up some of Demetri's cum off her body, making eye contact with her as he did it. Her heart beat in her chest fast and hard, but she was too tired to do anything about it.

He followed his tongue with the rag and then grabbed the comforter off the floor, throwing it over her and Demetri before crawling under it on her other side. He threw an arm over her and cuddled up to her, then grabbed Demetri and pulled him in.

Before he could doze off, Reader's sweet voice break through the haze,

"Um... does this mean I'm, like, your girlfriend?" she asked, then quickly added, "Both of your girlfriend?"

"Only if you wanna be ours," he told her, then peppered kisses on her neck. "We'd be more than happy if you were apart of our relationship."

"Mmhmm," Demetri hummed, too tired to form words. Hawk was almost scared he'd fucked him dumb.

"Oh, okay," Reader said, smiling tiredly.

As she cuddled up to each of them, Hawk was assured that she was theirs. The details could be worked out in the morning.

#poly eli and demetri #poly hawk and demetri #hawk x reader demetri #hawk moskowitz x chubby reader #hawk moskowitz headcanons #eli hawk moskowitz #hawk moskowitz smut #hawk moskowitz x reader #hawk moskowitz #demetri alexopoulos x chubby reader #demetri alexopoulos x reader #demetri alexopoulos smut #demetri alexopoulos headcanons #demetri alexopoulos #cobra kai #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #cobra kai x plus size reader #chubby reader #plus size reader #eli moskowitz x reader #cobra kai smut #gemini sensei #poly binary boyfrineds

[grimm-writings]

May I request a Holm x reader where his sister introduces you to him as an apprentice for spirit care?

where the heart is

…ft! holm x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, meet-cute, mentioned kabru wrecking homes (/lh)

…wc! 930

…notes! i’ve seen your acc around my friend you’re like the head of the holm fanclub in my brain. i have so much respect for ya. i hope i do your man justice!!! 

Knowing your friend as well as you do, you didn’t doubt she would eventually introduce you to her younger brother in due time.  All three of you are elemental spirit researchers, and though the siblings are rather estranged, you hear a thing or two about this ‘Holm’ individual whenever a certain pretty-faced tall-man comes by.

“Who’s Holm?” You one day ask.  Your gnomish friend shrivels up slightly at the question.  She doesn’t normally talk about her family, a bit too estranged from them to really care too much for them.

“My brother.  You heard Kabru, I’m sure,” she answers.

You shake your head.  “Yeah, but who is he?”

“Why do you want to know?���

“I’m curious.”  You smile in a way that sends a shiver up your friend’s spine.  “You know me!”

Since she’d rather not deal with your questioning, she instead arranges through Kabru to introduce you both.  Your incessant ramblings of how he must be a talented researcher if he makes use of spirits in adventuring, and how you’d like to study under him made her blood boil.  This is the only way she’ll find respite.

You’d spot Holm instantly in a tavern – he looks similar enough to his sister after all – and put on your best, brightest smile.  Beside you, your friend adjusts her glasses to deadpan you.

“Don’t get your hopes up about this apprenticeship thing,” she advises.

You reach out to pat her cheek, tutting.  “Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head!  I’ll only be an hour, and so much can happen in that time!”

Leaving your friend to scrunch up her face in disgust at your delight at getting your way, you’d skip away to introduce yourself to Holm.

Names are exchanged, and you and the gnome shake hands.  Gosh, now that you’re here, you can feel your nerves start to catch up to you.  Holm seems easy–going enough, a little less prickly than his sister, but still witty enough to catch you out with jokes you wouldn’t expect.

“You study elemental spirits, and utilise them in dungeons, right?”  You call upon previous knowledge of the gnome across from you.  “That sounds fascinating!  How do you do it so easily?”

Holm lazily grins at you, endearment crossing his expression at how interested you seem to be.  Whether it’s interest in him or his study, he seems flattered.  “Spirit care comes easy.  It’s like raising a pet.  I had Marillier, an undine, in my care since she’s just a little droplet.  With time and trust, calling upon an elemental spirit’s help comes easy.”

“Ooh, how wise!”  You clasp your hands together.  “You’d make a great teacher, Holm.  Ever thought of taking in an apprentice?”

Holm tilts his head.  “Ah, interested, are you?”

Knowing you’d been caught, you simply smile at Holm with a bit of sheepishness.  “Is that so bad?  Your sister hardly mentioned you, but you seem so intelligent!  I should thank that Kabru man for letting me know of your existence!”

At the mention of his sister and party leader meeting, Holm frowns.  “They’re still meeting, eh?  Nothing too suggestive going on between them, I hope?”

Even when filled with a slight sense of disgust, you can’t help but find him cute.  Haaahhh, this will be the death of you!

“Don’t worry,” you reassure, “he merely comes over for tea sometimes.”

You neglect to leave out the type of letters she’d be writing to him.  That’s a bit much for what you consider a first date.

Holm heaves a sigh of relief, reaching up to twirl his hair.  “Thank goodness for that…”

The conversation continues, the two of you getting along like a house on fire, until Holm’s sister comes by to pick you up an hour later.

Just before you say your goodbyes, you perk up.  “Oh!”  Turning to Holm one final time you smile.  “Sorry, but I didn’t get your answer on that apprenticeship idea?”

Holm ponders on this for a few seconds, almost freezing in place at your sudden question.  A long few moments pass, and your friend was just about to speak up when Holm shyly interrupts.

“I don’t think I can take you on as an apprentice… I think I’d prefer a more personal relationship with you, if that’s alright…”

The answer, even if it wasn’t the outcome you predicted, fills you with happiness unlike any other nevertheless.  You graciously thank Holm, turning to your friend with a wicked grin, reacting in shock at the fact you’re just inviting yourself into her family.

“Ah–” Holm says.  “Before you go…”

“Yes?”  You face the gnome again, blinking curiously.

He takes a few moments to gather himself, before asking, “would you like to join me for dinner tomorrow evening?  I’m free, so…”

“I’d be honoured!”  You don’t even hesitate to reply.  You can sense your friend’s disgust even without looking at her.

Holm smiles with relief.  “Thank you.  I’ll meet you outside this tavern again…?”

“Yes!”  You nod eagerly.  “I’d even bring along some of my own notes if you’d like to compare!”

“Ah, a study date?”  Holm perks up slightly.  “Yes, I’d like that a lot…”

“I’m still here, you know,” Holm’s sister dryly butts in.  With some apologies, she finally drags you away from her brother, grumbling that this must be how he feels about her flame…

You giggle at her reaction once you walk outside.  “Oh, don’t be like that!”  You whine.  “Aren’t you happy to have me be a part of your home?”

“You better not!”

You blissfully ignore her scolding.  Yes, a successful venture indeed.

#✮ grimm's fics! #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi imagines #dungeon meshi x reader #delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon imagines #delicious in dungeon x reader #holm #holm x reader #holm kranom #holm kranom x reader #holm imagines #holm kranom imagines #that'll probably do tagwise #do you get the pun. holm is where the heart is. haha.

[slocumjoe]

danse's romance route has some potholes

so, this post woke me from my slumber, have a ramble

This has always been a weird point for me, but I never got around to really figuring out what it was exactly until just now. I think all of the romantic candidates have out-of-place flirting, at least here and there, but Danse consistently has dialogue options to flirt with him at exactly the wrong fuckin time. The odd thing about Danse is that, most of the time, the normal Good/Yes answer is more romantic or sincerely affectionate than the flirt.

So, the Flirts.

The only Flirt that works is when he talks about his fear of losing people, and Sole says, "I care too much about you to do that to you." It's the first Flirt, and he responds by saying you've given him "something to think about." I've gone on about how Danse has never truly felt cared for. Sole's voice acting also sells this Flirt by being somewhat timid, unsure of saying this, but wanting him to know.

Danse's talks go Kreig > Cutler > Haylen > Help Im A Robot. The first time you can flirt with him is in the Cutler chat, where the "I care about you" line comes up. It's not out of left field from the conversation. It's affectionate, it doesn't overstep, but it pushes the line and makes Danse consider "oh shit, there's a lil something something going on here."

The "Would you hold me?" line is much less subtle.

Danse talks about how he doubts himself after Cambridge and Sole's reference to him hugging Haylen makes it seem like they've just been waiting for him to shut up to use that line on him. It's out of place, it circles back to a topic we've moved on from, and it's so overt it sucker-punches everyone involved, including the player. It's blunt.

The other options of "I'm here whenever you need me" or "I'm glad you feel better" are less flirtatious, but they imply more direct concern and care for Danse. Both lines are about Danse, and Sole being there for him. The actual Flirt is what Danse can do for Sole. This is such a weird nitpick, I know, but it comes off not as romantic, but more like Sole is trying to hook up with him. That would work with someone like Hancock, or maybe Piper, but Danse's romance involves more subtlety and slow-burn elements. It's too forward.

So, in his final talk...

It's literally "Kitten I'll be honest, Daddy's about to kill himself" "haha no don't kill yourself you're soooo sexy"

It comes right after he's having a lot of emotions about his reason for living. This is not the time to put the responsibility of a relationship on someone. Again, this is a flaw of the 4 Affinity Talks system. If you're just going for a platonic relationship with Danse, his talks work great, but his character arc is unfinished anyway. They have to shoehorn romance in there, and it doesn't have the room to develop naturally. It's why Sole has to explicitly say "Would you hold me ;>".

The strangest part is that his neutral/Friendly dialogue options are more affectionate and relationship-building. Again, the other options in the Haylen talk comfort Danse and reassure him.

Honestly, I think the best option, for all romancable companions, is within arms reach. You know how, if you don't romance someone, they'll bring up their last talk again and give you a barn door of an opening to broach the subject of a relationship again? Just. Do that/ It's literally what I did when I romanced Danse; don't romance him as soon as possible. Let it marinate.

The second chance to romance him goes the exact same way, eyebrows to space and all. It just takes place after Danse confesses how close he feels to you and trusts you and not RIGHT AFTER BLIND BETRAYAL.

It's easy to fix the pacing just by not going for the smooch ASAP, but the flirting is awkward. It's worth noting that the line before the Haylen flirt "It's comforting to know that I can speak to you as more than just your commanding officer" has it's own Flirting tag on it. Danse flirts with Sole here, canonically.

A cheap and easy rewrite is Sole echoing the sentiment with something like, "It's comforting to know that you're more than my commanding officer." This leaves room for interpretation. What else is Danse? Sole has an idea, but leaves Danse to wonder about it. It also confirms to Danse "yes, we have a personal bond and this isn't just a work thing."

I think the core of Danse's romance is this dude realizing that he's loved and cared for, truly. Cait has a similar arc, but hers has different complications and contexts than Danse. Danse needs a slow-burn romance full of soft moments and instances of Sole reminding him of his own humanity, even long before the synth thing.

It's worth noting that the "i care too much about you" line is still kinda overshadowed by the "But I wanna be a mutant" joke. That joke makes him laugh, he jokes back without missing a beat, and it's a cute little bonding moment between him and Sole. Romance isn't just overt flirting, it's the little things that make you think the other person is special. How many people do you think can make Danse laugh? Especially about becoming a Super Mutant, right after being told about Cutler? Danse thinks Sole is funny. He thinks it's a cute little joke. He's charmed.

Then Sole sucker-punches him with an explicit ask of physical contact and emotional exploration and the moment is lost. For the Halyen talk, you could have an option where Sole asks, teasingly, if this is going on the report, and Danse laughs and contemplates what Maxson would think. Maybe he even comments about how rumors spread on the Prydwen, implying that he knows there is something between you two for people to gossip about. This would later tie in to The Reveal, where Maxson says the same thing.

#fallout 4 #fo4 #paladin danse #a smaller lazier post but I have Thoughts

[foxaoxarts]

BEE KISS TOMORR- *dead* /j

If anyone wants to watch me drawing this like a little victorian child then the timelapse is below the cut 🤣

(FLICKER WARNING. It's all through out so be careful!👍 )

#RWBY #Bumbleby #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Foxarts #YOUR HONOR I HATE THEM (that's a lie actually) #I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS FOR 3(?) DAYS NOW AND I'M SICK #Technically this doesn't contain spoilers but let me know if I should add the tag! #In reality I think cloud scene will happen episode 7-ish BUT being delusional is what being a bee fan is all about- #This is the first time I've actually tried drawing a kiss sooooo hope it turned out ok xDD #I am the one who looks away when anyone kisses for more than 2 seconds so. #Kisses aren't very photogenic that's all I'll say (I had 3 tutorials open and 5 references pulled up) #This was so messy- I forewent line art because I hate it and I thought it wouldn't be bad to just clean up the sketch. I was kind of right. #Watching back the recording is funny because I've always known I'm disorganized but just watching it play out is hilarious. #Enjoy my little notes and doodles 😌😌 #They're so soft I want to scream. #I SURE HOPE I DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING 😭 #Risking my livelihood for these stupids since 2020 *strikes pose* #Anyways that's enough of my rambling. #HAVE A NICE DAY Y'ALL!!

[flickerintwilights]

on the road to hell

#hadestown #art #my art #tag ramble as promised: #firstly #i’ve been thinking about redoing this as digital art #(like - mostly the same but cleaner and with some of the details fixed) and probably will if i have time #because i like this composition a lot #but! for now i am oddly happy with how this turned out despite being traditional art/watercolor (no undo button. sobs.) #and it Is a noteworthy day for hadestown with lola tung and lillias white departing #(this is Not meant to celebrate them specifically - i used the obc as reference not them - i just think it’s a nice day symbolically) #so i thought i’d put this out. whatever. yknow. #oh a second thing i will say is that this was a great excuse to check out the slime tutorials on youtube #i spent like 9 or something hours on this :/ so. plenty of time to have things on in the background while i was working. we love slime #thirdly! two things i feel like are worth mentioning rq for Symbolism: #wait for me reprise (intro) originally having wedding procession imagery (from anaïs mitchell in working on a song) #is what first made me desperately want to put the flower/petals on the edges (it still fucking haunts me) #though it was a solid composition choice in general i think #and i mean. clearly the carnation should be prominent. it’s the carnation. from hadestown. #i don’t think the wedding procession reference comes across the way it turned out but that was the first thought #NEXT ouroboros. the snake devouring its own tail (i legitimately forgot that this was why i first drew the rattlesnake that way but #fundamentally i really did just want its tail and head to point to each other lmao)

[socksandbuttons]

In the "a day in the life of eclipse" it wasn't the first time Solar's Moon treated him badly. Remember when Lunar first showed up in Solar's dimension, Solar told Moon that there's a dimensional traveler and he'll deal with it. And his Moon responded with "good because I don't care!" it looks like his Moon has been aggressive/treated him badly to him from the start. Sorry, I just didn't understand what you meant by you ignoring the lore from a day in the life of eclipse because it is part of the lore now

You're new on my blog which i frequently ignore things in my headcanons from time to time. And that canon changes from how its interpreted. Anyway, stems from Solar's explaining his moons situation. The lore SLIGHTLY changed. In terms of Moon, being slightly Glitched due to killcodes removal/memory loss. He never mentioned Moon being mean before that (at least not on the terms before he left his dimension). Not unlike things to be slightly aggressive from Moon tho, just it wasnt PERCIEVED moon was a jerk to Solar UNTIL Solar reveals this later on (after Lunars death). They didn't really develop his story until later a little more. So I'm sticking to my previous headcanon of Moon having a glitch, which is canon to s degree? SOLAR himself has mentioned he wanted to fix his MOON AND SUN. Which was forgotten/changed and turned into just sun then into Solar leaving forever.

#like when i say they changed things they turned solars moon into the worst jerk instead of someone needing some help #due to in part of getting Solar in the channel more without running into other montys or moons or worrying about sun. plus a nice eclipse #im sure it wasnt that deep before and suppose to be vague but theyve developed it more #to which is more like a closure to solars tragedy of leaving all that #vs the tragedy of having KNOWN both of them before. and seeing them shells of their former selves #and u technically have both in the former since hes obviously still handling all that #HOWEVER. as much as i like solar being around. #theyve left things in the story that they never really go back on thats normal #so i take what i want really #CANON DIVERGENT WAS THE TERM I WAS LOOKING FOR VFDJKS #sometimes the canon.... i dont want it #i wont put this in the tags #also 'it wasnt the first he treated him badly' that. actually #isnt something u can consder 'treating solar badly' either #considering later u find out moon spent most his time trying to fix sun #anyway im rambling in tags once again

[youngpettyqueen]

for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?

oh my god I finally fucking finished it.

I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again

I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble

again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3

for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got! 

Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down. 

“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained. 

“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire. 

This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight. 

It really just hasn’t been a great week. 

Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it. 

Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies. 

Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”

Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.” 

Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself. 

“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”

“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.” 

Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.

Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works. 

“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.” 

Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready. 

“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.” 

Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.

“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.

“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.

She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”

Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.

But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?

Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is. 

Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.

No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”

“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.

Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”

Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”

Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.” 

Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.

“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.

“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.

“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!” 

Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.

Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.

Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”

“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”

Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges. 

“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.

Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.

Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.

Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.

Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.

Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.

“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself. 

“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.

“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.

There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.” 

Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.

Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.

He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”

Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat. 

Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses. 

“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.

“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons. 

Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.

“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“

“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.” 

Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.

Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?” 

There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.

“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks. 

Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.

Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.

“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.

Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.

There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.

Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.

Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”

And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do. 

#fic bitching #star trek: ds9 #kira nerys #julian bashir #like I said I really like the diaogue #I had fun writing the dialogue #and it came to me pretty easily once I settled on what I wanted with the scene #this was originally. a bunch of things #my first idea was two separate scenes #and I drafted several versions of those #but they just wouldnt flow #even the one I had literally finished just. I did not like it #it was not good #and I dont say that to be hard on myself I know im a good writer and what I wrote wasn't good and thats fine! #they cant all be bangers #but I wasn't gonna post something i knew wasn't good #hopefully the wait was worth it cause like I said while I keep scowling at this #I know its cause im grumpy it took so long #and its cause ive stared at it for way too long so it was never gonna look right #until I posted it #anyways! thats enough tag rambling #I hope you enjoy! #I love Julian and Kira theyre besties in my brain

[perpetualexistence]

*looks at how 307 words in the first sea monster post has transformed into 1288 words in the one-shot when I've just hit the halfway mark plot-wise and am still on the first draft*

...Yeah, I think choosing to make the other ones AU posts was the correct decision.

#perp accidentally started venting about writing in the tags #it doesn't help that the self conscious about writing demons are kicking in #they need to stop and let me finish my first draft #i have to stop going back to edit the first draft #the exposition is important but I've also got to balance it with the dialogue and the inner thoughts #and I don't even have a TITLE yet- #I want to show don't tell and it's just so different from writing out exactly what I want to say and explain why/how I'm saying it #why have i done this to myself #I know why #It's because the end product will be amazing #but still #gaaaaah why is writing hard #perp writing thoughts #perp rambles #also i might kinda sorta technically still be at work right now #but it's slow today and I had to vent so a posting I will go

[astranauticus]

todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing

#orv liveblog #should i tag spoilers for like. ramble in tags?? #ok i'll do it just to be safe #orv spoilers #idk in case my webtoon only irl friend suddenly decides to log back into her tumblr after 3 years #context chapter 311/46th scenario #ok theres a lot going on here #first off 1863th round yjh is a character made to haunt me specifically so when the name hell of eternity came up wow i was feeling like #500 emotions at once and none of them were good #second i saw someone on lofter say today that most of the talking kdj and yjh do in this book is through fights and just #LIKE I JUST. cannot get over how our perspective of their relationship is just always being filtered through these two people #who are just fuckin INCAPABLE of TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS like NORMAL PEOPLE #like it drives me so insane that this book is so show dont tell by necessity bc kdj is a fucking moron so we just get these #insanity inducing details like yjh paying to extend his midday rendezvous with kdj for 3 years and just using it as a personal journal #and then you get past all the fuckin. the two of them beating the shit out of each other by way of communicating and its like #'i want to lock you up so you'll stop dying because im scared im not strong enough to be able to stop you and we cant lose you again' LIKE? #SIR WHAT??????? HELLO?????????????? #also the line that made me start pacing in circles around the water cooler while swearing in mandarin was specifically #'i couldn't be the protagonist. i couldn't save someone else' #says the DEMON KING OF SALVATION. like damn its 'sacrifice's will is a stigma that didn't really suit me' all over again #like i love that kdj has the nerve to be like 'of course i dont want to die' and yjh just absolutely does not buy it for a second #god. i want to hit him on the head with a brick.

[purplepenntapus]

Im sorry I love the Zoro Mihawk Perona dynamic but the fandom trend of turning it into “Mihawk adopts Zoro and Perona as children and raises them” makes me want to die

#the fact that it pervades so many au fic is another reason I rarely read one piece aus #first of all I’m not a fan of changing characters’ backstories in such a drastic way #Zoro in canon and Zoro raised as mihawks child would be two very different characters #second of all it’s indicitive of a very odd trend I’ve noticed where fandom takes character with non traditional family dynamics and #creates a narrative where they have what more or less boils down to a nuclear family dynamic #like Zoro already has a family #the straw hats #but bc zoro is one of the only straw hats that you can’t point to a specific character and say ‘that’s his father figure’ ‘thats his sister’ #people feel the need to give him a Proper Family with a Dad™️ and a sister™️ #which is particularly odd in the Found Family Anime™️ #it’s giving superfamily #idk it wouldn’t be bad if it was just a fun thing now and again but god it’s like every single zoro-centric au I see #rambles #sorry I had to rant about this because I just closed out of a fic because of this and I’m just -Keanu smoking meme- #it’s very hard when you dislike a very pervasive fandom trope #if this ends up in the tag and you’re mad about it I’m sorry I don’t want to sensor every word tumblr might pick but I’m not tagging #it myself so please don’t yell at me blame tumblr

[bison-appreciation-club]

so yall telling me that i am wanted and lovable...

#like. i got invited to someone's birthday and i thought it was at the wrong place #so i went there and they weren't there and in a previous friend group they used to tell me to wait for them in a certain place #and they'd never arrive. and it would turn out that everyone else had gone and were having fun without me knowing i would just be waiting #for them. and so i was like. huh. guess that happened again #but turns out i was just in the wrong place and now i feel like shit #because i feel like it's all gonna be one massive trick and i feel like a dick for not being able to trust anyone #i'm so used to not asserting myself and not saying what i want because i've been taught i won't be lovable otherwise and now i don't know #when i'm lovable and when i'm not. what do you mean i can be lovable without having to do anything first? lmao ok then #and my friends are all so nice to me and i feel bad for being so suspicious because of past experiences #vent in tags #dee rambles #to delete #tw vent

[journey-to-the-attic]

hmm not sure how to feel about obey me running the same pop quiz concurrently in both games

there's a weird disconnect - the new ui and sfx of nightbringer did a good job of giving that disjointed feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar, but given that the pop quiz seems to be taking place in the present that mc came from, the nightbringer ui just feels.... off in the wrong way

given that i've got more resources there i'll probably keep using the original game to play the pop quizzes, but since you can get devil points for s ranking a rhythm stage in nightbringer, seems like these events will be a good place to farm some!

(though in the first place i'd rather they finish the nightbringer story before adding supplementary content like this)

#obey me #i guess there's also the argument to be made that this kind of makes the original game defunct for players who've finished s4 #if the pop quizzes are in both games there's no new content unique to the og to warrant keeping it #also i wonder (since the event nightmares are shared) are the devilgram stories the same? #i know that most people playing nightbringer came from the original but there's always going to be some people new to the series #and in the first place it just feels jarring to be midway through a story where the point is that the brothers are unfamiliar #only for the pop quiz to just kinda go 'yah forget that' #also the longer i've had to think about it the more worried i've gotten about whether or not mc's actually gonna go back to the present #given solomon's odd line about remembering that that's where you belong #in a way i guess i wouldn't want mc to leave the brothers behind in this more vulnerable phase #but in another if they stayed it kind of undoes what they've done from og s1 onwards #also i still wanna know how this isn't creating the world's biggest time paradox #if past asmo already has a pact with solomon now what's gonna happen when they meet at that bar where they're supposed to have made it?? #depending on that bit in (was it s4 or s3??) where mc + satan end up in the celestial realm #was it that they went back in time or was it an illusion or something?? #anyway i've seen some people say that the angel brothers don't remember exactly meeting them #but they still feel their influence afterwards #so maybe that's the case for mc in nightbringer?? #anyway. sorry for rambling in tags again

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess

#avil plays hsr #idk if i actually want to write this ramble because i started rewatching a bunch of scenes that i needed to figure my thoughts out #but the more i gather the more im getting lost with myself so im like MMMMM #i gotta line these pieces up first #i think the trickiest thing about gallagher is wondering how much of what he says is true vs false #UH #ill just tag this as #hsr 2.1 spoilers #because thats the ramble in the tags #but like as a follower of enigmata hes prone to lying and conjuring even more riddles to confuse you #so i just have to wonder too #and if his whole facade as gallagher is fake. then how did he actually become part of the bloodhound? #sunday points out how gallagher stoles features from so many members of the family so. i just have to wonder #he couldnt have changed his identity without being noticed #so thats where i get confused. like How did you get in here in the first place using your disguise? #how did you fool people? #ANSWER MY QUESTIONS MAN (SHAKES GALLAGHER) #at the very least though: i think what he says about mikhail is true #i want to believe those are true even despite his false front #the things i want to talk about is like #well first i wanna make a whole timeline of the historical events of penacony #and that will give me a better idea of how things led to one another to present time #and THANKFULLY i rewatched because now i understand what gallagher meant possibly by traitor #but how did the family come to be? #how did the dreammaster come to be? (SHAKES THE GAME) #ok so i have to read more. so this will take longer #unfortunately maybe by the time i get all the information i want itll be too late and someone else wouldve said #SOMEONE PROBABLY DID #but i like the satisfaction of pulling the pieces together myself. thats the satisfaction of solving cases and puzzles ✨ #my desk looks ridiculous now because its like. sticky notes everywhere because im like I HAVE TO MAKE NOTE OF THIS

[pardi-real]

Holy cow.

TIL the word for how a word or a name is pronounced is written as "pronunciation". I really thought it was "pronounciation".

Pro-Nun. Well I love Arknights Specter.

That reminds me some years ago I was absolutely bamboozled by "similar" & "available", I thought those were written as "similiar" & "avaible" .

My life is a lie.. all this from being curious on how to pronounce "Berrien County Jail".

#English struggle #i'm in shock #This is so unreal #It can't be real #Idk man #Til #Tbf I very rarely use those words #Trying to justify the ignorance lol #What is grammar btw I try to not use “but” in front of a sentence but actually I don't care that much #And I keep using abbreviation on is am are despite the formal sentences because of muscle memory #I also can't stick to one term between “human race” and “humanity” despite it's the same word in JP because idk #I'm sincerely sorry for the translation quality in this blog but you know what I like doing this for no good reason #The good ol' tag rambles that I never experienced b4 because this is my first Tumblr account actually #I'm suffering from something that I want to know too but psychiatrists don't exist in my country #But it's most likely laziness #I'm not making masterlists immediately and prev all next links are also due to laziness #I forgot to say that I'm not planning to ruin Fennesz reputation believe me he's still the whole cinnamon roll bakery & sweet guy & like to #Wow so only 140 characters for a tag

[hirazuki]

I said I wasn’t going to do the thing, but, eventually, inevitably, (and I’m sure you’re all shocked) I did the thing. My curiosity is insatiable and will be the death of me.

Thoughts under the cut!

Okay, we’re going to bullet list this shit, because otherwise it’s just going to be a stream of consciousness nightmare.

Rights

So, first off. The decision to deal with content that they can’t talk about or show continues to baffle me. In what world can you successfully tell a story which is one hundred percent reliant on the setup (i.e., events and characters that preceded it)... that you can’t touch because of copyright??? Name dropping silmarils and Feanor and Gondolin or whatever the fuck, randomly, isn’t going to magically glue things together and make it work; it’s just going to irritate the people who are watching who have knowledge of the Legendarium, and simply utterly confuse everyone else. I still maintain that, had they wanted to play around in Middle-Earth, they should have just created a completely original story, populated with completely original characters, with a canon character popping in for a cameo here and there as Easter eggs for funsies. 

Adaptation

No adaptation is going to be exactly like the source material except some incredibly rare gems of anime, almost always produced by Studio Bones, so I don’t think most of us going in really expected to experience The-Silmarillion-On-Screen. But I feel like the audience expecting a good story -- even if the story breaks from canon -- is like. not irrational. The bar is so low. I would have been sufficiently placated with a good story. Not even an exceptional one; just something with solid characters, a sensible plot, and a sense of adventure a la Tolkien. Something, even, in just the spirit of Tolkien. That’s it. Apparently, that’s too much to ask for lmao.

Story

I have... So. Many. Questions. Primarily about the reasoning behind a lot of this junk. Buckle in.

That was the most bizarre and cursory retelling of the events of the Years of the Trees and the First Age. Imagine Feanor getting left out just like that XDD

Why are we sailing into Valinor????? Galadriel herself, specifically, rejected the pardon of the Valar twice; she was like, nope, I’m good, not going back. Why would Gil-galad force her to go? Why does Gil-galad have any kind of power, political or otherwise, over her, she has her own realm to rule?? Why isn’t she in that realm, with her husband and daughter? I don’t get the motivations behind anything here.

Jumping off of a ship that close to Aman... thinking she’s going to swim back to Endor? That’s so dumb I can’t even.

Why are the elves fading in the Second Age??????? 

Don’t even get me started on the mithril shit. What is this, a drug? Are you going to compound it into pills, take twice daily with food? Wtf?? Fine dwarven mithril, direct from Khazad-dum, my friends, was not some kind of new, unheard of, miracle substance; it existed prior to this Age, and was also found in Numenor and Aman. Yes, Khazad-dum had the monopoly on it in Middle-Earth, but it was common knowledge and the whole reason the Noldor settled in Ost-in-Edhil was because of that mithril, and wanting to trade with the dwarves for it to use it in their crafts. It was no secret.

... the lost silmaril, are you fucking kidding me. All three are accounted for! Is this a fourth silmaril? Why is it in a tree?? Why is this random apocryphal elf battling with a balrog like this, why is Glorfindel being cannibalized again?? This poor dude, can’t catch a break in any adaptation from people tearing his role in any Age apart and handing it out to other characters. Also, mithril is a precious metal that, yes, is extremely valuable and unique, but it’s just. a. metal. Not some spooky supernatural thing. Ugh.

Why oh why is Galadriel in Numenor lmao. Wtf even is this timeline. Why are Numenoreans anti-elf and why is their primary concern the job market??? Why are they trying to sail into the West pre-Zigur?? Why are the palantiri lost before the island sinks? What the fuuuuuuck. 

Why does Elendil have a third child???

[side note: I’ve seen multiple articles calling Mairon Melkor’s “son” and I just XD I feel like like both parties would have so much to say about that. Like. So much. ANYWAY]

I liked Arondir enough, up until the moment he called the tiny human settlement made of stone and wood in the wide open plain the most “defensible” spot. Bro. There... there is nothing defensible about this. The entire segment of the battle against the orcs, actually, was very painful to experience, in terms of strategy (or rather, the lack thereof). People’s actions and decisions made absolutely no sense. Except for Waldreg; yeah, me too, buddy.

(Incidentally, why did an entire fort come crumbling down as a result of some rope???? Perhaps I missed something; oh wait! I must have, it was too fucking dark to see anything properly in the first place!)

Also, why is Bronwyn wearing that blue when no one else is? Expensive blue dye? Spaghetti strap dress? It’s like a really cheap game of pick out the Important Character amongst this rabble. 

I’ll bet you anything that the inspiration for the Stranger was that one instance when Olorin came back as Gandalf the White, and it took him a moment and an interaction with Aragorn to ground himself and remember his previous life, and they were like, let’s take that and put it on steroids -- i.e., we’re gonna make him not remember how to use his limbs, how to use words, he’s gonna be mute and dumb until the final episode until SUDDENLY he can speak in elaborate sentences and riddles >.> If this is how the Valar send their Maiar to Middle-Earth, they are even bigger jackasses than I have always considered them to be lmao. He is a MAIA, why would he show up naked and then wear rags????? Like, this is a perfect example of what I mean when I say that they disrespect the characters; it’s so demeaning. Hobo!Olorin; for fuck’s sake.

I can’t with the balrog, y’all, it’s literally one rock wall separating them, they clearly were trying to making this suspenseful and dramatic but it falls so very flat because it’s not even that deep. 

Love that the Numenoreans just landed in the exact spot where one (1) tiny human village in all of the southern portion of Middle-Earth is under attack, and they were able to immediately go to their rescue. They didn’t even try; no runner, no messenger, no finding some hapless soul in a field to direct them where to go. It’s so bad.

Orodruin has an on/off switch, guys! Too bad Mairon forgot to turn it off when he moved back in, in the Third Age, would have saved himself a lot of trouble if there had been no active lava to throw the ring in XDDD Jesus X_X

Pyroclastic flow, you can survive it, believe it. My god. 

Celeborn name-dropping was so very random. Seven episodes in, suddenly she remembers she has a husband! Time spent looking for Sauron: 200+ years. Time spent looking for missing husband: ... zero? She was on her way into the West without ever looking for him and the reason she turned back around is because she felt her work here was still unfinished, not, “oh maybe I should look for my husband and daughter”? Also, we just have to rip off Luthien and Beren, huh. 

Mordor to Lindon in six days!!!!!!!! What are those horses on, I want some too XD (it’s like... 800-ish miles, in a direct line, not accounting for mountain ranges and ravines and the like, where you’d have to find a way around. Even considering that elven steeds are super-horses -- so let’s say they can do 40 miles/day -- and pretend they don’t need to use roads and can fly over insurmountable passes, that should still be a journey of no less than 20 days; it’s across the entire fucking continent).

Sure, yeah, he’s a Maia so obviously a “mortal wound” isn’t gonna kill him, so he made the journey just fine. But she didn’t know that, yet she pushed the journey until he was visibly falling off his horse; callous, much??? What a bitch :D

Galadriel, in favor of ringmaking?????? Celebrimbor being proud and fond of his Feanorian blood (in public, to a complete stranger, no less)? Who are these people HELP.

WHY ARE WE GIVING TYELPE’S STORYLINE TO HER HASN’T SHE GIRLBOSSED ENOUGH

Fuck the 9 and the 5, I guess? The whole point is that they were made before... not after... because otherwise the subjugation wouldn’t woooooork. Oof.

Wow. 400+ years of living together, working together, and all the entanglements that brings, reduced to... what was it? 3 weeks? 3 months? I want. to. cry.

I just. Who looks at the Silmarillion and goes, “you know what this could use? MORE DRAMA.” Like, everyone is more than dramatic enough without adding a whole bunch of new dynamics in established relationships lmao.

I think that’s my main complaint, actually. First/Second Age is already essentially a family soap opera, but RoP has injected so much melodrama into it that it makes it completely tasteless. They’re changing not only major plot points but character dynamics and relationships... for what? To what end?? What is the purpose??? It’s certainly not effective story-telling, that’s for sure.

OH I forgot the harfoot storyline. Well. That goes to show what I think about it lmao. I get the sentiment behind it but the execution is so poorly done, it just doesn’t do it for me at all. It was just so piece-meal and shoddy and random -- what was even the point of the three sorcerers?? 

Dialogue

It’s just so bad. There’s the purple prose that runs circles around itself trying to make itself sound deep and Tolkien-ish, but is ultimately empty and means nothing (”why does a rock sink but a ship doesn’t” are you fucking kidding me, with word-smithing like that no wonder Mairon sang you into the ground and you deserve it). There’s the forced call-backs to the text/movies (”follow your nose,” “a gift,” etc.) that are shoved in there for Nostalgia and Relevance and feel awfully out of place. And then, my favorites: the really dumb one-liners that completely break whatever meagre atmosphere the series managed to set (“knife-ears” -- what is this, Dragon Age?! “the elves will take your jobs” -- like, really bro? are you serious?? “I’m good” -- ouch, that was so unspeakably cringe). 

The single exception is Adar’s dialogue; idk if someone different was writing him and his storyline or what, but this is way more like Tolkien. And, sadly, seeing that they can write like this, makes the rest of the series even worse. 

Also the choices of when/where to use Quenya vs. Sindarin... I’m so confused.

Costuming

...... what. the. fuck. Like, all of it, really, but the armor is especially... unfortunate. It’s just so poor, in concept and execution. I was wondering why the layers of mail were moving so weirdly, but at first I didn’t believe it when someone said that the mail worn under the breastplate, bracers and pauldrons by the Numenoreans is actually just the armor design printed onto long-sleeved shirts. Looking at it more closely since then... I really think they’re right, which is just yikes. I’m usually extremely forgiving in this department if the plot and tone are right, especially if it is a low-budget production (have y’all seen the costumes from Voyage of the Unicorn?? One of my favorite tv series. No joke. 100% adore the costuming too, as it fits the vibe and everything is clearly done just for the joy of it). But knowing they spent $60 million per episode, and it still turned out like this? That’s just gross. (And apparently the person who did the costuming is the same person who did the costumes for Crimson Peak, which I haven’t watched but the costumes are incredible... what a waste of her talent).

Also, the hair loss. Yes. Absolutely. It 100% detracts from the image, sorry. And I’m not talking only about the elves. The dwarven women got the short end of the stick, too. 

It’s the presentation, primarily, what the costuming does for the presentation of the characters (or what it doesn’t do, in this case). Galadriel should not have to pull her hair back and expose her ears in order for people to identify her as an elf; she should be ethereal and faerie and otherworldly and immediately distinguishable from those around her, as all elves should. Everyone is just so. bogged down in the mortal muck. It’s so disappointing. If you look at cast photos from the LotR and Hobbit movies, the difference between the cast in costume and the cast wearing their day to day clothing is like a punch to the face; here, everyone looks like they stepped off of the street and onto the set :/

Again, the exception seems to be Adar. He’s by far the most Tolkien-looking of all the characters, and definitely gives off First Age survivor vibes even from just the way he looks, and I really don’t understand why they chose to not to let a similar aesthetic guide the appearance of the rest of the elven cast. It’s baffling.

Casting

XDDDD 

I mean. I don’t even know what to say. A good portion of why everyone looks so ugly is absolutely the costuming and makeup work and I do think that even just longer hair would improve them a great deal, but there are certain characters that have been so horribly mis-cast, namely Elrond, Gil-galad and Celebrimbor. They just don’t vibe as the characters. And, speaking as a complete non-shipper, if Tyelpe looked like that, I firmly believe that Mairon would have skipped Ost-in-Edhil altogether; he’d have taken one look and been like, yeah, no thanks, I’ll pass. Like, why does he look like he’s about to croak??? This is supposed to be the elves at the height of their power in Eregion! And he’s Feanor’s grandson, he’s not that old!!! He was only two-thousand something years old when he died!!! Galadriel has a couple of centuries on him at least. (My most heartfelt sympathies to the Silvergifting folks, btw; Tyelpe did not become a banner for this utter nonsense).

I really enjoyed the idea of Disa and Arondir. Truly. And the actors did give it their all, which is really the only thing saving their characters, in my opinion. But I do think that they were done a disservice as well, in being associated with the rest of this. I’m all for diverse casting (though, can’t help but note the lack of Asian representation in a series that is patting itself on the back for diversity), but aside from these two, everyone else was just... very token-ish. Caricature-ish, to the point of being insulting. What was with the accents from Rhun??? As someone from the part of the world that that was inspired by, I was cringing. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to watch season 2 if Rhun is going to be a big focus and they insist on presenting it like this. Idk, the casting choices definitely gave off the vibe of Representation™ for the sake of Brownie Points instead of actually being inclusive, and it left such a bad taste in my mouth. I know they’re gonna drag Khamul into this mess, I know it, but I’m fervently wishing him a very I-hope-you-don’t-get-included

Music

There are some good moments, a couple of bars that woke me up here and there, but ultimately forgettable. It’s not awful, but it is terribly mediocre, and from a composer whose other work I have enjoyed, that’s just really very sad (I guess this series brought out the worst in everyone???)

Galadriel

Where to fucking start

She’s really just a very painful example of people, yet again, thinking “Strong female character” means unlikable bitch who is in everyone’s face and listens to no one because she is StRonK.

Ugh. Commander who has no respect from her men? Who doesn’t even bother to work with her men?

Yes, obviously she’s younger in the Second Age than the Third Age, no. shit. She’s not who the Fellowship meets in Lothlorien, not yet, she’s still growing into that person. Obviously she has serious scars from the First Age and before. She participated in the First Kinslaying. She was called Nerwen, and regularly participated in athletic feats. She crossed the Helcaraxe. She refused the Valar’s pardon twice. She fought and she lost so much. But just because you want to portray her as younger, as angry or vengeful or whatever (which is fine! she was!) does not mean that she is a brat or that she is inelegant or that she is dumber than a brick. 

She picks a quarrel with everyone she speaks to. “You have not seen what I’ve seen” -- to Elrond. Elrond. His father became a star and his mother became a bird and he never saw either one again and he was taken in and raised by the very people who slaughtered his kin (multiple times, I might add; two separate instances), and then his only brother, his twin, chose the life of a Man instead of an elf and then died. Like. lady; please. She would never, ever be so crass.

They make her so naive, so stupid -- simply because otherwise the plot as they have written it would not be able to unfold, because the choices she makes to move the plot along are dumb as fuck -- and it is infuriating.

She says shit like “sometimes you have to trust in the design of the powers that be” -- is this the same person who left literal paradise because she wanted a realm of her own to rule and didn’t want to be subservient and beholden to greater powers, and wanted to determine her life for herself?

She is such a child. Elendil compares her to his teenage children. His mortal, teenage children. That’s... not a good look lmao.

Also, don’t get me started on her swordsmanship. All the combat choreography is dismal, but especially the sequence of her “teaching” in Numenor is very painful to me, as a swordsman. Oy.

Elrond & Celebrimbor

Why is Elrond a dwarf friend (: Why isn’t Celebrimbor the dwarf friend (: (: (: Where is Narvi (: (: (: (: The doors, what doors, oh the doors of Moria, the doors that were specifically crafted by an elf and a dwarf (those being Celebrimbor and Narvi) and stand testament to their friendship, those doors? Bleh.

WHY ARE WE HAVING ELROND SWEAR AN OATH

WHY ARE OATHS BEING PASSED OFF AS NOT A BIG DEAL I’m pretty sure there’s an entire story somewhere about how serious an oath can be...

Why are things (oaths, silmarils) that were resolved in the First Age and left behind in the First Age, being dredged up again here????? I want to scream.

Ah, yes, Galadriel, the one who took in a just-orphaned Elrond. Fuck Maglor, I guess???? He didn’t single-parent two orphans in the face of the Oath to be disrespected like this.

I just. I don’t understand how Celebrimbor can NOT be the focus of a show called RINGS OF POWER. His importance has been relegated to a footnote. It would be like Feanor being a side character in a show called SILMARILS. It’s absurd.

Elrond’s relationship with Galadriel is. so weird. It’s got such a weird vibe. They’re not comrades-in-arms. They’re not friends, not like buddy-buddy. They’re related in three separate ways if I recall correctly; they’re cousins through two different lines, and then -- more importantly -- she’s his mother-in-law. Why is he treating her like a sibling????

Gil-galad

Oh, Ereinion. Last High King of the Elves and Retainer of Long Locks ;_; The harpers will sing even more sadly of him now, I guess. Why does he look like a disgraced Roman governor out of Asterix who fell out of favor in the capital and is living out his days in discontent in the provinces? He somehow escaped the great shearing, but still looks awful  minor nitpick, given everything else going on, but why is his hair black? he’s one of the few characters whose hair-color we explicitly know  More pressingly, why does he act like it?? Fair and free realm my ass, they’re drowning in angst here and Annatar hasn’t even shown up yet lmao. Does someone on the team have a personal dislike for him? Tolkien was sparse on details, sure, and the First and Second Ages were absolutely rife with politics, but there is no reason to make him a smarmy, conniving politician and an idiot to boot.  

Mairon

My boy, my love, the very personification of perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive tendencies and creative license, embodiment of the themes of the artistic struggle, of creation and destruction as two sides of the same coin, independence and freedom and binding and subjugation wrapped up all in one complex fiery being... I’m gonna need a whole separate post for you. My grief knows no bounds, my tears are innumerable T____T

There’s a lot more I can say, and I know there’s a lot I left out, but my hands and brain are tired now lol. 

tl;dr Tbh I would have been content with a show about random OCs in Middle-Earth, rather than whatever they’re trying to do by twisting the plot like this. Like, keep the storyline with Arondir and Bronwyn (but just... make their actions and dialogue have common sense lmao), navigate elf/human relations in the Second Age through them. Keep Adar and the nuanced interpretation of Orcs and explore the original creation of Orcs, and how a mutilated elf from the First Age deals with survival like that. Hell, throw in Celebrian (who is mentioned by name in the Appendices; as is Glorfindel, incidentally) since we’re screwing with the timeline anyway -- you want a canon, strong, female protagonist? Here you go! We barely have any info on her, other than the bare bones -- create away! Incorporate her kidnapping by orcs, her torture, have her meet Adar, create moral conflict that way. Pepper in some Elrond and some Galadriel on the fringes, for a popularity boost, since we apparently need them for a Middle-Earth show to matter. Ta-da, boom, done. 

It could have been good, y’all. 

#the best thing i can say about this series is that it gave me the final no-fucks-given push to finally cosplay my boy #and to seriously sit down and work at some silm art #i've enjoyed silmarillion/first and second age fanart and fanfic my whole life but have never contributed myself because #i always felt that anything i made wouldn't be good enough #well #anything i put out can't possibly be worse than this lmao #should i tag this? #meh i'll tag it why not #in case people want to blacklist my sorrowful ramblings #anti rop #anti rings of power #(okay y'all i tried doing the conscientious thing and strictly tagging it as anti only but the way this site uses tags these days #is against me #no matter what i try it insists on putting it in the main tag so #apologies. i tried. i tried a million variations. just keep scrolling if it's not your cup of tea)