#PERDEV

[bussykiii]

did this mind map in our subject "personal development" showing five (5) ways on how to make my brain smarter. ♡♡

(click the pic to see clearly)

#mindmapping #perdev

[virgilisspidey]

#It do be like that #asexual #ace #perdev means personal development

[noxtivagus]

I FEEL BETTER AGAIN

#🌙.rambles #the way i often feel better after perdev class really makes me realize that. yk literally /hearing/ it rlly comforts me a lot ;; #n yh i remembered smth again earlier #oh man i'm really grateful for the kindness of strangers #online friends were once strangers you've never known #irl ppl too but there's smth so special abt. in online there's no obligation at all to reach out or interact. but we still choose to #a lot of times it's not really /that/ deep but the thought of it is comforting when you feel alone #somewhere out there. even if you don't communicate directly w words... we understand each other in a way yeah? #there's smth especially comforting to me rn abt the kindness of someone you're not /v/ close with #but you still understand each other. maybe even deeper than w those irl #since honestly i can't rlly bring myself to vent or rant or ramble to my irls anymore ;;; #so there's this certain special gratitude n appreciation i have for ppl who know me online. esp on tumblr bcs i talk here a lot #that said though... there's smth as comforting as well abt #honestly i'm really big on those 5 love languages. so w irls there's physical touch that i love & #words of affirmation expressed through voice. those two stuff r esp special to me thanks to the distance put by the pandemic #even if i'm not rlly speaking voices give me a lot of comfort. which is one reason why music is so special to me. melodies n/or lyrics #somewhere out there. there's someone thinking abt people /like/ you #the specificness of being close w someone tho n understanding in depth after building a connection tho #all of our friends were once strangers. n thinking abt all that is v beautiful but. oh yh. i've been distant again from my reality;; #a few months ago i felt like i was talking too much so i ended up disconnecting ;;; ever since that active thought #i've been initiating stuff less n less. subconsciously. #problem tho is that when i'm sad i actively distance myself even further n that's so destructive but i wna get better again #i really wonder tho. there's sm distance n misunderstandings that can arise out of ignorance n disparity in perspectives #combining who we are n our personas n identities across platforms. irl. different social media. if we're not careful n self-aware then #the way we carry ourselves n how ppl perceive n relate n approach us wld change drastically. #best not to think /too/ much abt that tho bcs that cld be draining. T_T i care a lot at heart so im worried that i've been too distant #it's so hard to reach out but i wish i cld just clarify w all the ppl in my life that i still really really care. i'm just struggling TvT #in time in time. i need to just do what i can in a given moment. and it'll be enough for myself. n i'll keep on improving n i'll get better #thinking abt everyone i've ever known rlly comforts me. i'll improve my health so that hopefully i cld enjoy that company n be myself again #it's hard dealing w the constancy of the pain but i don't have to fall to that ache all the time. slowly is enough. i can be kind to me too

[crazy-so-na-sega]

"Ho fatto sorvegliare i suoi uomini e sono convinto che lei abbia usato i fondi della banca per speculare sui prodotti del paese. Quando vincevate, dividevate i profitti tra di voi, e quando perdevate, li addebitavate alla banca. Siete un covo di vipere e di ladri."

Presidente degli Usa Andrew Jackson in occasione della seduta di chiusura della seconda banca centrale degli Usa, 1834.

( fino a prova contraria )....

#storia

[vorreichetufossiqua]

Ho appena realizzato che non dico "mamma e papà" da tantissimo tempo. Non perché non ci siano più, sono così fortunata da averli ancora su questa terra. Non perché siano separati, hanno deciso di "tenere insieme la famiglia'

Non so spiegarmi il motivo, ma non lo dico più, da diversi anni. Sembra di tornare bambina solo a pensarlo.

"Mamma e papà" , due parole così famigliari e così distanti. Due pilastri crollati tempo fa, la sensazione che avevo da piccola nel chiedere qualcosa.

"Mamma e papà" e un po' mi trema la voce, come se tutto ciò che viene dopo fosse sbagliato, troppo. Ritrovo la superficie dei sentimenti che provavo da bambina, in casa. Ricordo che quella casa era abbastanza grande da poter scappare quando qualcosa andava storto. Abbastanza grande da nascondersi quando non si volevano sentire le urla.

Ricordo "mamma", chiusa nella sua torre, una persona estroversa che ha scelto di infliggersi una vita introversa. Ricordo i sorrisi spenti, le frasi che avrebbe dovuto dire a sé stessa, i miei tentativi di salvarla da quella vita, i suoi sacrifici per farmi stare bene, il mio senso di colpa nel non riuscire ad accontentarla, l'inizio delle bugie.

E ricordo "papà", stanco di rientro dal lavoro, con la testa ancora piena di compiti da eseguire. Me lo ricordo frustato, nervoso, sempre pronto a esplodere. Mi ricordo che cercavo di alleggerirlo, cercavo di pensarci io. Mi ricordo il suo sguardo, quando sembrava che stessi superando il limite, e quel brivido in me, a metà tra "non vorrei" e "non mi piego". Quante lotte ho affrontato contro di lui, quante volte me ne sono pentita, amaramente.

Mamma e papà, papà e mamma, vi ho delusi vero? Vi ho feriti più di quel che una brava figlia dovrebbe fare? Sono stata troppo per voi? Così tanto da non essere riusciti a crearvi un futuro felice?

Se non ci fossi stata quante cicatrici in meno avreste?

Avrei voluto aiutarvi, ma ero piccola, e poi troppo ribelle per capire che eravate solo sovrastati dalla vita. Che perdevate il controllo perché non ne potevate più. Scusate per tutte le volte in cui non l'ho capito, in cui ho visto solo l'animale rabbioso, e non la fame che aveva.

Mi dispiace non essere stata abbastanza pacata, ubbidiente, diligente.

Ma, mamma, papà, perché non mi avete protetta?

So che non dovrei chiedervelo, so che, dopo tutto ciò che è successo, è la domanda sbagliata. Ma perché? Fingevo già così bene da non farvi preoccupare? O eravate convinti che alla fine, in qualche modo, sarei venuta su da sola? Che mi sarei salvata?

Mamma, papà

Scusatemi se sto sprecando questi giorni, queste settimane, mesi. Scusate per il male che ha subito il corpo che avete creato. Scusate per ciò che è successo nella mente di quella che un tempo era la vostra bambina. Non sono riuscita a proteggervi, e nemmeno a proteggermi.

#mamma #papa #madre #padre #infanzia #ricordi #flashback #lampo #casa #urla #autosifficenza #empatia #riscontro #dolore #piangere #bambina #bambino #piccola #piccolo #famiglia #scelte #cresere #amore #vita #lui #citazioni #morte #vivere #amare #soffrire

[minispidey]

learned something from my perdev class. we seek other people's opinions to validate our feelings.

#angie's irl 💅 #bimbo in stem

[pahintulot]

Kathniel, the End of an Era.

I remember being a fan of Kathniel since I was 12 years old. I am proud to say that I am one of those fans who really rooted for them from the very start when they first starred in the "Growing Up" Sunday drama.

I watched every single Kathniel movie that made it to the cinema and have always followed them wishing they'd end up together in real life. And when they did officially became a couple, I cheered and rejoiced for them.

I remember the first issue abt Daniel back then and was angry at the other party. I have always viewed the other half of Kathniel as faultless and I admired them blindly.

Fast forward to more than 10 years later, I guess I am just rooting for Kathryn. I trust her judgment above all else. I trust the person she has become and she will become. I admire her braveness to walk away from a more than a decade of emotional attachment and relationship. She was such a strong woman to be able to finally made that decision.

I guess teaching the subject PerDev made me reflect a lot. It made me reflect a lot on relationships—that on one way or another, relationships are not permanent. They either grow stronger or grow apart. And for Kathniel, it was the latter.

The blaming game might start, but I am always all for Kathryn. Because I've seen her on screen and seen the person she has become.

My heart will be sad momentarily, but I know that her choice was necessary for her to heal. And we can never blame a person for choosing herself.

Like Kath, I will also be forever grateful to Kathniel for the kilig and good movies. I'll forever cherish the lessons I learned growing up from those movies.

#kathniel #break up #heartbreak #learning #moving forward #new chapter #endofanera #personal #reflections

[jeonzzn]

realtalk un ang iniiyak ko sa perdev mweheh

[noxtivagus]

perdev is now my favorite subject bcs these are literally the things i write to myself everyday

#🌙.rambles #i feel well again. maybe hearing the words from someone else is all i needed and wanted #i think i'm gna recite a lot in class this year aha #fr tho i really think n write this sort of stuff to myself a lot >< #i know i'm rather mature. i love myself. genuinely at the end of the day i will always choose kindness and love #it's kinda like drk tho bcs i also have quite the dark side #i wish i recited more actually bcs i have a lot of insight to share #my teacher read out all the things i put in the chatbox actually now that i think about it #i know i'm really proud of myself though. i know i'm self-aware #could always be better ofc n i still have a long way to go and a lot more to learn but i really am proud of all that i have accomplished. #this feels so good. i always love this level of peace. this kindness and gentleness i allow and accept for myself #i want perdev all day this is literally the topic i love the most #today WILL be the day i read a book again. and properly write #i can't believe it oh god but i really knew that #i really just want to hear and share it. to speak and be listened to. #my love and curiosity and passion for learning is endless timeless and boundless #i'll write and wander forever and ever. that's alright. even if i'm lost it's not like i need a destination all the time. #i'll forge my own paths. #there's still always this constant persisting pain and ache but that's alright #i really just want to continue writing and learning. i want to understand everything #i feel like rambling again rn but #classes nearly done for the day oh god i'm sleepy #2 hours of sleep 😭😭 i'll nap later #today's been a good day so far though. i'll be productive as well later on. i will definitely keep this up

[alexanicolecuaderes02]

My Achievements

-Volleyball Mythical Six

-Grade 10 Honor Student

-Role play in PerDev

-Grade 12 Midterm With Honor

[mgcsrp]

hopefully na hindi panoorin video namin sa perdev tom 😭😭😭

[rphaelll]

Whoahhh my shoko art for perdev subject hehehehe🫶🫶

[myhomeeee]

Have you ever had a friendship that seemed unlikely or improbable at first, but turned out to be a meaningful and cherished bond? Because me, I do.

When I transferred to the ABM strand I was so anxious because they knew each other and I was shy and afraid of them. I know some of them because we're in the same elementary school and junior high school. I still remember when I found myself in an unfamiliar environment and I've been nervous, anxious, and even afraid. Then, out of nowhere, someone appeared—a person who reached out with a genuine smile, a kind gesture, or a simple act of friendship and with that connection, however small, it had the power to change everything.

The first semester was totally my unforgettable experience especially that practical research was very hard but despite these challenges, this subject made us cooperate, help and unite with each other. I still remember how we multitask the broadcasting that time together with the reportings with other subjects. We all don't have enough sleep that semester due to the activities that were given to us, but however I'm so glad that we made it to the second semester.

Decorating our classroom for year end party and feeding program for perdev subject multitaskly was very hard, but with the cooperation and unity of each other, we accomplished all the necessary tasks that needed to be done. For now, the second semester almost comes to an end and one more year to go, we're all going to separate especially that we have different paths to take. Little do they know that they're healing me every time we hangout, so as long as we're still together, I cherish every moment we spend together. As what Dr. Seuss said, “Sometimes, you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”

-Sam

[journal-sanji]

April 27, 2023

Ms. Camille that our math teacher was absent and we didn't do anything to her subject therefore we  used her time to make the assignment in SOCSCI. In Science we have group activity again and we were the highest among other group. In Perdev we performed our play that enacting or creating scene representing the good stress and we got 97 score from Ms. De Dios and gave us assignment. In English, we were divided into two groups by Ms. Cath for debate. Our topic is "Homework should be banned" and we are in the negative side.In Filipino, we had recitation but the score is not recorded while in PR other groups had their proposal defend and all of us are not rejected except Group 5. The rest subject we hadn't do anything. 

#creativewriting

[noxtivagus]

gna be productive now

#🌙.vent #i'll delete those later you see nothing rn !!!! #i feel better after. what crying for an hour n writing #that said i have wasted time as well though so. i feel. rather empty still. idk but. i have to do this all #i have No energy but i really wna reply back to my friends n all #yeah that's the thing i could just make myself take steps for something better but #it feels so weird n empty if i just force it #maybe good will come out of it but i hate how weird n empty n. how forced it feels #yk every single second and emotion and thought matters a lot to me #it both spurs me onwards as well as simultaneously weigh me down #goddamn it's overwhelming but. sometimes it's really hard for me to just really accept that #yk life's a journey. all these imperfections come with it n with time we grow and grow #the world is very imperfect and we are too #i'm so confused wait theres really so much in my head ;;;; but one thing i know for sure is that #i don't have to be this harsh to myself when it comes to improving. like fuck time we all should be able to do this at our own pace #pressure pressure it feels like i'm both falling behind n am too far ahead at the same time. how confusing #that said perdev earlier w school reminded me that oh maybe i'm like this bcs i don't really have. a very stable support system #i manage a lot better if i at least have a friend or smth but i think recently i've been unintentionally #distancing myself. i usually isolate when i struggle bcs i don't want to be a burden but it just makes everything worse for me #that said thinking about the kind of comfort i would 'ideally' like right now #a shoulder to cry on? a warm hug? some words too or. another form of affection just to remind me in those moments that. you love me #goddamn i really do mean it huh when i say love's a big motive for me T_T it's. pure though and really from the heart #my love for the universe; i want to learn so much. my love for life; i appreciate so much. my love for myself; i want the best for myself. #n a reminder that i'm loved has always given me strength. to get up again and be kind to myself #yk what's done is done n regret wtvr n all but it's best to just. be kind to yourself. if you can. it's hard but that's really yeah #do better in the future but really accept n all that yeah mistakes are normal n human #it really is hard but i just need to remind myself constantly and practice that. i'm human too. meaning i'll always #we'll always be deserving of receiving the same kindness we give to others. n wholly accept it. unconditionally #one at a time at my own pace. fuck my perfectionism making me forget n lose the meaning of my passions n ambitions n wishes #improving.. T_T defeats its purpose if this is my approach to it. fuck the word 'need' right now i'll just do my best to be kind for myself