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builtbybrokenbells · 1 year

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Long Time Coming

After spending your entire life getting to know the optimistic, perpetually happy Josh Kiszka, you are pleasantly surprised when he shows you a different side of him.

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 8.3k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, fingering, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), swearing, angst, alcohol consumption, mentions death/sickness, mentions of drug use and addiction, parental issues, creepiness from men. Sorry if I missed any!!

here’s some smutty angsty grumpy x sunshine love. Writing this whole thing has been a bit therapeutic, so it turned out a little longer than I expected 😭 I apologize. anyways, be kind, I hope you enjoy, and please excuse any grammar mistakes! ALSO it’s been a long time since I’ve written smut so if it’s bad please bear with me

There was something about him. Something that all of the girls seemed to swoon over, that implored them to flock to him and fall to his feet. Sure, you could understand how it could be charming, but to you? It drove you absolutely insane. And not in the good way. You didn’t hate the guy; far from it, really. But you did try to limit your one on one time with him, just to spare yourself the headache later in the day.

Josh Kiszka was not a bad person. He was nowhere near it. He was very attractive, but also nice, kind, and quite funny, too, but he was so unbelievably happy all of the time. You didn’t hate happiness, but by god, you were sure if you told him you’d murdered his whole family he’d still find the best in the situation. Admittedly, you were aware that you lived your life a bit more on the grumpy side, always leaning towards the glass half empty idea, but even so; you didn’t understand how he never seemed to be in a bad mood.

You didn’t hate optimism, but he sure as hell made you feel like you shouldn’t be sad over the stuff you’re allowed to be sad about. That, and due to your mediocre life filled with more than enough troubles, you envied that you’d never seen a frown on his face. You loved him, sure. He was one of your friends, albeit you found yourself closer with the other three boys. You’d grown up with them, always found yourself in their company, and even moved to Nashville after you’d finished university just to be around them again, and perhaps to get away from Michigan, as well.

You worked in finance, securing a well paying job as an accountant at a big name company not long after your move to the big city. You had sort of moved on a whim, with no real promise of a good job or any sustainable income. You didn’t want to move until you had one for sure, but eventually conceded because of a promise from Sam that he and Danny had a spare bedroom in their apartment that was begging for someone to take it. They had been pestering you for as long as they’d lived there for you to move in with them. You had graduated with Jake and Josh, but found more solace hanging out with the younger two boys once you all grew up. Josh still took credit for ‘founding your friendship with Sam’ as he was the first of any of the brothers to spark a conversation with you.

You got plenty of alone time when the boys were off on tour, and didn’t mind the noise at all when they came home. As much as you liked to believe you were an introvert, you found yourself longing for their company after coming home every day to silence. Maybe it was just Sam and Danny that brought that out in you.

You pulled into your usual parking spot outside of the apartment complex at exactly 5:17, the same time you were home almost every day, due to the ungodly (but predictable) traffic always in the way of the roads. The firm you worked for should only be a five minute drive, at most, but city traffic was tedious and nothing like what you were used to in your small hometown. You were certain you’d never get used to it. You pulled your keys out of your ignition, followed by a cigarette from your pack. You had the habit kicked for a while, but picked it up sometime during the three month stretch the boys had been gone. You hoped you could quit it again before they got back within the coming weeks, but you had little hope.

You sat on the grass by the door, lighting the end of the cigarette. You let your eyes scan the parking lot, looking for nothing in particular. The sun was warm and it was nice being outside after eight hours of stuffy office air. Your dress pants were growing even more uncomfortable by the second and you were eager to get inside so you could curl up in bed and start your weekend off correctly: a glass of wine and a date with your book. You were excited to play the new vinyl records you’d picked up earlier in the week on a spur of the moment shopping trip.

You decided to have another before you went inside, just to curb the craving for a bit longer. Just as you put the filter between your lips, the front door of the building opened. You didn’t bother to look up, figuring it was just your creepy neighbour. He always seemed to be waiting for you when you got home from work. Sam promised you he’d get him evicted when he got back. “Chainsmoking, now, y/n?” You heard a disapproving tsk follow the sentence. Your head snapped up, barely believing your ears.

“Sammy!?” You shot up from your position on the ground. He held his arms out and you jumped into them, not caring how stupid it looked. “What are you doing home?” You asked, head still buried in his shoulder. He held you until you were ready to let go.

“Missed your pretty face too much, had to come back just to see it.” He said, pinching your cheeks when he finally let go.

“You’re too sweet, Samuel. Don’t flatter me.” You rolled your eyes.

“Seriously though, you’re smoking again? I thought you were the first person to actually adhere to their New Year’s resolution.” You gave a shrug.

“What can I say? Old habits die hard.” You admitted. He nodded as if to say ‘fair enough’. “Is Danny back, too?” You asked, a hopeful gleam in your eyes. He nodded, a grin still stuck on his face.

“We had a stretch with no shows so we came home to see you.” He informed. “I know you’d never admit it, but we know you get lonely when we’re gone.” Instead of his usual joking tone, it was laced with sincerity. Instead of responding with words, you just pulled him into another embrace. He smelled like Sam; a scent that felt more like home than anything else. “Come in, get comfortable, and get something to eat. We brought you your favourite takeout,” he paused before continuing. “Thing one and Thing two are coming over tonight, too.” You chuckled at Sam’s pass at his brothers. You missed them so much, you weren’t even dreading having to deal with Josh’s exuberant personality all evening.

When you entered your apartment, you wasted no time searching for the honorary Kiszka brother. You found him standing in the living room, anxiously awaiting your arrival. You wasted no time running to him, tackling him in a hug. You both fell to the ground in a mess of limbs and echoing laughter. “I missed you too, bug.” He said, with his arms still wrapped around you. Danny was the only person in the world you allowed to call you any pet names, aside from your Grandmother, who’d raised you your whole life. Josh tried his luck, calling you ‘mama’ any chance he got, which was always met with a glare in return.

When you both got back on your feet, you implored them to tell you all about the last few months. They waved it off, assuring you they’d tell you all about it later night. You ushered them upstairs to show them the new vinyls you’d added to your collection. Eventually, you had gotten changed and graciously ate the food your roommates had brought home to you. You took a quick shower before the twins arrived, reapplying a bit of makeup so you could cover the exhaustion caused by your never ending pile of work. You sipped on a glass of wine while music played softly from your phone.

A knock sounded on the bathroom door, catching your attention. “What’s up?” You asked, unsure of who would answer.

“Get dressed up, we’re going to head to the bar down the street.” Sam’s voice sounded. You opened the door so you could talk to him face to face, rather than through a wall.

“Implying I don’t always look fantastic?” You teased.

“Not in the slightest, my dear, for you are the fairest maiden in apartment 3C.” He gave a dramatic bow. You rolled your eyes, shoving him backwards. He stumbled slightly before regaining his footing.

“I’m the only ‘maiden’ in 3C, Sammy.”

“Not true, I’m not sure if you realized but Daniel also lives with us.” You let a giggle escape your lips as you fumbled with the tube of mascara in your hand. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

You finished getting ready not long after Sam left you, pulling a nice dress from your closet and throwing it on. You took your hair down from its clip to let it dry naturally. When you made your way back to the living room, four voices sounded down the hall. You appeared around the corner, staying silent until one of the twins noticed you. After a few minutes, Josh broke from their conversation to check if you’d shown up. His eyes lit up at the sight of you. You didn’t even find yourself annoyed when his infamous smile crossed his cheeks. He pushed past everyone to greet you. You welcomed his hug, to everyone’s surprise. “Looking good, as usual, mama.” He whispered as he let go. You bit your tongue, fighting back a snide comment at his pet name.

“Thanks, Joshua.” You replied. You let your eyes linger over him for a moment. He looked good, too, but you’d never let yourself say it out loud. It would fuel his ego a bit too much. He’d cut his hair, which you’d failed to notice in the photos Sam had sent you. It was shaved on the sides now, the top a curly mess. You noticed he looked a little less boyish since the last time you’d seen him, now growing in a bit of facial hair. He looked really good. After an awkward staring contest, Jake pushed his twin to the side to greet you, too. “To the bar, then?” You asked the group after a few moments. There was chorus of agreements.

It was dark out now, the sun just finished setting, leaving a rusty glow in the sky. The group of you walked down the busy sidewalk together, passing other groups of drunkards with the same idea. You were sandwiched between Sam and Danny, both of their arms wrapped around you. To be honest, you hated the bar. Sweaty drunk people dancing to shitty music, creepy guys who made your skin crawl, and always leaving feeling dirty. It was not something you desired to experience. But tonight, you were more than happy to go if it meant you got to be with your friends.

Jake led the way to a booth in the far corner, away from the crowd. You slid in first, and Josh jumped at the chance to sit beside you. You bit the inside of your cheek, wishing someone else had claimed the seat first, but you stayed silent. The night was filled with chatter, stories about the tour bus antics and the different cities they’d been lucky enough to visit. “You have to come with us sometime, y/n, I think you’d love it.” Josh said.

“I can’t just get up and go, Josh. I have to work.” You told him, shutting the idea down. It irked you slightly, knowing he thought you could just drop everything and leave.

“Take some vacation time, then. We’d love to have you come along. Plus, I hate the thought of you being here alone all of the time.” You had to take a double take when the words left his mouth. Not once, in your lifetime of friendship, could you ever recall him saying he hated something. ‘Weird’ you thought to yourself.

“Y-yeah, maybe.” You nodded, taking a long sip from your drink. After the silence lingered too long, the youngest brother jumped at the opportunity to break it.

“Shots, anyone?” Sam asked, eyeing you specifically. You shrugged.

“As long as it’s not bottom of the barrel liquor.”

“Don’t I always treat you well?” Sam snipped back. You smiled at him as he left the booth, Danny and Jake following suit, presumably also to get more drinks. That left you and Josh to yourselves.

“How’s your big girl job treating you?” Josh asked, taking sudden interest in your personal life.

“Uh, it’s work, I guess.” You let out a small laugh.

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad! You work for a huge company - it must be exciting!” He smiled at you. You let out a long exhale, nodding and forcing a smile on your face. There it was, the dreaded, mind-numbing optimism.

Sam returned with a platter of shots. He sat them in front of you with a charming smile. “For the lovely lady.”

“All for me?” You raised an eyebrow.

“If you feel such a need to have all of them, then I suppose I couldn’t be too upset with you.” He joked. You took two off the tray and the lime slice. You threw one back with no salt or lime, barely flinching at the burn it left behind. You finished the second one and popped the lime in your mouth, sucking the juice from it. “Good god, woman. You could bring any man to his knees shooting liquor like that.” Sam said with a humorous, lustful tone.

“I’m just getting started, darlin’.” You mumbled. Chasing the shots with the last of your drink. “I’ve got to take a trip outside; I will be back.” You said, shooing Josh out of the booth. You went outside for a cigarette, letting the cool air settle deep into your bones, returning feeling slightly rejuvenated. When you went back inside, you stopped by the bar to grab another beverage. As you waited to be served, a man just around the same age as you squeezed into the limited space between you and the next person.

You shifted awkwardly, not wanting to bump shoulders with him. He turned to smile at you, looking you up and down. “What’s a pretty girl like yourself doing buying your own drinks?” He asked. You brushed the comment off, not responding. You drummed your fingertips off the sticky bar top, signalling your impatience. “Playing hard to get, eh?” He pried, making a move to put his arm around you. You tried to shimmy out of his grip, but you were packed too tightly between other people to get away.

“Nope, just not interested.” You huffed.

“Oh come on now, let me buy you a drink, at least. Then maybe another, and I might get you drunk enough to agree to come home with me.” He gave you a sly grin. You couldn’t see it, but Josh was staring daggers at him from the booth. He’d been the first to notice your delay in returning, and the first to catch sight of the sleazy guy trapping you beside him. He was ablaze with anger just at the thought of someone touching you when you didn’t want it.

“Yeah, not the best pickup line, buddy.” You shut him down once more. His grasp around your waist tightened as you saw a flash of anger in his eyes. Your heart drummed against your chest, hoping one of the boys would notice and help you out.

“Oh come on, quit being a tease. Showing up here in a dress like that? You’re begging someone to take you home.” He practically growled. Just as you were trying to formulate a good enough response to get him to leave you alone, a firm, but gentle hand was placed on your shoulder.

“Hey, man, get the fuck away from her.” The person snapped from behind you. You turned your head, expecting to see Jake due to the tone of voice, but you were very surprised to see Josh standing there. The unknown man scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“And who are you?” The guy puffed up his chest, wanting to seem scarier than he was.

“My boyfriend.” The words tumbled out of your mouth faster than you could process them. “Come on, babe.” You grabbed Josh’s hand and pulled him back towards the booth, finally getting a moment of freedom to allow you to do so. Josh was just as stunned as you were at your proclamation, but both of you brushed it off quickly.

“You okay, mama?” He asked, silently begging you to look at him.

“Yeah, thank you, Josh.” You breathed. Your hands were still intertwined. He nodded, eerily still, afraid that the physical contact would end.

“No need to thank me, I can still go and punch him, if you-“

“No, that’s okay.” You cut him off, even more surprised at the anger that was radiating off of him. You’d never seen Josh any less than content. His eyes held an emotion you weren’t sure Josh even knew existed. You hated to admit it, but you found it quite attractive. The thought of Josh getting that worked up on your behalf was causing you to have some conflicting thoughts. He nodded, looking to the floor.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat. You shook your head, giving him a small smile.

“No need.” You whispered back. You felt your eyes linger over his face, still trying to fully grasp the situation at hand. “Did you maybe want to play some pool? Take our minds off it?” You suggested. He gave a slow nod.

“Sure, yeah.” He mumbled.

You gathered the rest of the boys, making your way to a vacant pool table. You sat on a stool and watched the brothers play a viciously terrible game, stifling laughs the whole time. “Sam, what the fuck was that?” Danny asked, motioning to the ball he’d hit too hard, causing it to fall from the table to the floor.

“Hey! I may be pretty, but I never once said I was good at pool,” Sam raised his hands in defence. The game ended in a stalemate, as all parties gave up at the realization that there was no progress being made.

The night carried on without another hiccup. It was filled with laughs, jokes and stories that you likely would not remember by the time you woke up the next day. You were positively drunk, stumbling to the bar after Sam had convinced you to do a terribly hilarious karaoke performance with him. “Hey! Can I get another screwdriver and whatever that man has been getting all night!” You shouted at the bartender, pointing to Josh. She laughed at you but nodded, getting you the drinks.

You returned to the group, handing Josh the drink you’d bought for him. “For me?” He questioned.

“Yeah, as a thank you for earlier!” You practically yelled in his face. Your level of drunk could always be measured by the volume of your words. You were a loud drunk, for certain. Josh laughed at you.

“I think it’s time to get you home, mama.” He said, placing a hand on your hip as you tumbled into him. For once, the nickname sounded nice on his lips. His smile wasn’t irritating, and his hand felt fantastic on you. You weren’t sure what had come over you. Something changed while he was gone.

“Only if I’m going home with you.” You batted your eyelashes at him. You had no idea what you were saying, and you sure as hell would regret it in the morning. Josh gave you a questioning look, but clearly whatever you said had affected him greatly. His hand on your hip tightened a little bit and his breathing sped. “What? You are my boyfriend after all,” you giggled, trying to make light of the earlier situation.

“God, I wish,” he mumbled under his breath. You didn’t catch it, your inhibitions greatly diminished. He was grateful for it, not sure if he was ready to admit that proclamation yet.

“You look good too, Josh. I wanted to say it earlier, but, you know…” you trailed off. He didn’t know, but he didn’t question it, too scared that the moment of intimacy would end. His fingers grabbed at the fabric of your dress, pulling you closer to him. Your faces were inches apart. He could smell the vodka off your breath. Your chest was almost fully pressed against him. You were both quite intoxicated, not really understanding that you were on full display in front of everyone. Sam was watching everything, mouth agape in shock. He was quite aware of your usual disdain for his brother, not understanding what was happening. Jake had a smirk on his lips, always knowing it was bound to happen eventually.

“Thank you,” He whispered, voice sounding a bit strained, not breaking eye contact with you once. You took a long gulp of your drink, feeling the liquid courage coursing through your veins. Your skin was on fire with a feeling you’d never felt before. Sure, you’d had a fling or two, a short term relationship here and there, but you’d never felt desire quite like this. Seeing Josh angry had sparked a fire in you. It showed you he was much more complex than he let on. You two stayed in that position, not sure how to continue on from there.

“So are you going to take me home, Joshua?” You leaned in, whispering in his ear. He sprung to action in an instant, pulling his jacket off the back of his chair and ushering you out the door. Sam shared a look with his brothers, a silent protest, wondering if he should stop you.

“Leave them be, it’s been a long time coming,” Jake said.

“Okay, then.” Sam nodded. “Looks like we’re stuck with the tab and nowhere to go for a while.”

•

You practically fell through the door of your apartment, hanging on to Josh for dear life. His hands were exploring your body as you led him to your bedroom, wanting to become familiar with every curve. He kicked the door shut behind him, pushing you back onto your mattress. He stood for a moment, heart pounding in anticipation.

You reached out for him, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him on top of you. Your mouths met for the first time, coming together with a neediness you couldn’t comprehend. It was messy, your teeth clashed into his a few times but you were far too invested in the moment to care. Your hands found the hem of his shirt, feeling the soft skin that lie beneath. You hastily pulled it over his head, finally taking a good look at him.

Your distaste for his loud personality seemed to overshadow how attractive he really was. Your mouth was practically watering at the sight of him, more exposed than you’d ever really seen him. His eyes were dark with a look never shared from him before. You never wanted it to go away. “Can I?” He asked, tugging at the bottom of your dress. You gave an overly-eager nod, too desperate to chastise him for his politeness. He slipped his hands under, lifting the tight skirt up to your stomach, letting out a guttural groan at the sight before pulling it off completely. “Fuck, mama.” He said, running his fingertips over the smooth skin of your stomach. His hands found your breasts in a second, quickly leaning down to pull your nipple in his mouth. He let his tongue flick over it, biting down softly after, causing a sharp gasp to break from you. You felt him smile against you.

“You like what you see?” You managed to stutter out. He pulled back, eyes raking over you again.

“You have no idea.” He said lowly, causing a knot to form in your stomach. You reached over and unbuttoned his jeans, hastily trying to get him out of them. You wanted him. No, you needed him. He stood, shimmying out of them and discarding them somewhere on the floor. He took no time in resuming the position on top of you. “So beautiful,” he mumbled, his lips meeting the sensitive skin on your neck. You were aching, desperate for his touch. Your fingers knotted in his hair at the nape of his neck. His hand found your hip once more, gripping it with a strength that made your heart flutter. “Can’t believe this is all for me.” His fingers dipped into your panties, running his fingers through your arousal. Your hips bucked upwards off the bed to meet his touch.

The pornographic moan that slipped from your mouth when his hand fully connected with your cunt sent a shiver up his spine. “Please, Josh.” You begged.

“Please, what?” He teased, his fingers lightly brushing over the bundle of nerves you’d so desperately wanted him to touch.

“Touch me, please. I need it.” You realized how desperate you sounded, but any sense shame was long gone.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” He whispered. The feeling of his body hovering over you, trapping you down to the bed, was overwhelming. When his finger dipped into you, you could’ve come undone on the spot. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He said before connecting your mouths again. His fingers pumped into you at an agonizingly slow pace, the pad of his thumb brushing against your clit with every movement of his hand. He was driving you crazy.

He pulled his hand away just as you felt yourself reaching a climax. You whimpered at the loss of contact, eyes pleading with him to continue. “As pretty as you look begging for me to touch you, I’m not done with you yet.” He said, dipping his finger into his mouth to taste the wetness. He let out a soft moan as he pulled his finger from his mouth. You were throbbing, unsure how Josh had found this power over you seemingly overnight, unsure how he was this hot and you’d never noticed it before. He took one more look over your exposed body before hooking his fingers in your panties and pulling them off you completely. He kissed down your stomach, letting his lips linger just below your bellybutton.

His fingers slipped inside you once again, eliciting a hiss of pleasure from you. He resumed his pace from earlier, now letting his tongue slip over your increasingly sensitive clit. Your hands found his hair, pulling at the ends of it, completely lost in pleasure. Your hips rose from the bed, desperate for more. “That’s it, mama.” He mumbled against you, driving you crazy. “Can you cum for me?” He asked.

“Please don’t stop, Josh.” You begged, your breathing ragged.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He breathed against you. He curled his fingers upward and gave another flick of his tongue, pushing you over the edge. You clenched against his hand, slurring out a string of profanities mixed in with you crying his name. He watched you longingly as you rode out your orgasm, slowly tapering off his pace. “You make my name sound so pretty, baby.” He said pulling his boxers off and throwing them with the other discarded clothes. You admired him in the moonlight, noticing he was much larger than anyone you’d been with before.

He barely gave you time to recover before he lined himself up with your entrance. He slowly thrusted into you, giving you time to adjust. You were having none of it, pushing yourself down on him and gasping when he filled you up. His eyes fluttered closed, revelling in the feeling for only a moment before he began fucking you. He started slow, but your whimpers only fuelled him further. He reached back with his hands and grabbed your knees, pushing them into your chest. You let out a yelp when he pushed himself back into you, his tip brushing against your cervix. His movement stuttered, the look of lust quickly turning into concern. “You okay?” He asked, searching your eyes for an answer.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Please keep going.” You begged. It took him no time to resume, thrusting into you at a brutal pace. “Fuck, Josh!” You moaned. The sounds coming out of him were delicious. You felt your orgasm creeping up on you again.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He growled, looking down at your pleasure-ridden expression. “Look so pretty wrapped around me like this.” Your moans were desperate, never having felt this way before. You had no idea sex could be this enjoyable. You had no idea sex with Josh could be enjoyable, period.

“M’ gonna cum, Josh.” You rushed out. He let one of your legs drop back to the bed, reaching his thumb back down to swirl around your clit once more.

“Come on, Mama. Cum on my cock.” He spat. The authority in his tone was heavenly. The words alone were enough to send you over the edge, but the added sensation of the circles he’d been rubbing over your most sensitive spot sent you spiralling, clenching around him and crying out his name.

You were fucked-out; ready to be nurtured, but he wasn’t done. He slipped his arm under your ass, pulling you even closer to him. The new angle caused a new wave of pleasure to hit you. He let your other leg drop, now bringing his hand to pinch one of your nipples between his fingers. You bucked against him, unwillingly but desperately searching for another orgasm. When you met his face again, he was almost smirking at your reaction. “Can you give me one more?” He pleaded. Sweat was dripping off him, showcasing how hard he was working to give you a good time. You could tell how hard it was for him to hold back, to pause his orgasm to ensure you were satisfied. He hadn’t faltered once, needing this just as bad as you did. You managed to give him a nod. “One more, baby, you can do it.”

You were sure the neighbours woke up from the scream that tore out of you as your third orgasm took over. Your legs were shaking, your head was spinning, and the only words you could muster were his name. His hips stuttered, pausing when he bottomed out inside you. He let out a long moan as he spilled his release into you. You two stayed still, scared to move, unsure if what had just happened was real, or some sick dream.

Eventually, he pulled out slowly, causing you to sigh at the sudden emptiness. He stood and disappeared, coming back with something to wipe you clean. He collapsed back in bed beside you once he was finished, pulling you into him. You hummed at the warmth of his body, basking in the intimacy. He placed kisses over the back of your neck and shoulders, a silent thank you for the best night of his life.

“So about that boyfriend thing,” he finally spoke, humour laced in his words. You let out a soft giggle. It wasn’t long before you both drifted into sleep.

•

You woke with a startle, your phone ringing angrily from somewhere in your room. Your head was pounding and your stomach was churning. Your eyes fought hard to locate where the sound was coming from. The scattered clothes around the room took you with a shock, but not as big as the shock when you realized someone was wrapped around you. Your stomach dropped as the memories from the night prior flooded your brain. Pushing the dread away, you continued your search for your cell phone. You didn’t have time to worry about him, yet. Silently slipping out of Josh’s grasp, you tried your best not to wake him.

You were still naked, and very sore. As much as you may have regretted what happened, the thought of Josh between your legs sent a rush of emotion to the pit of your stomach. As annoying as he was, he was damn good in bed. You finally found your phone under your discarded dress, realizing you must have dropped it in the rush of last night, but by the time you picked it up it had stopped ringing. The moonlight cascaded through the bedroom window, letting you know that it wasn’t quite morning yet. Fear settled in your stomach at the realization whoever was calling probably didn’t have very good news.

You grabbed Josh’s t-shirt and threw it over your head, checking the screen of your phone to see you had multiple missed calls from your grandmother. The same fear from before seeped into your veins as you stepped into the hallway to call her back. The phone barely rang before she answered. “Nana?” You whispered, praying it was her that answered the phone.

“Hey, pumpkin,” She greeted back. You let out a sigh of relief.

“What are you doing up? It’s..” you pulled the phone away to look at your screen “like five in the morning, there.” You stated.

“It’s your mom.” You could practically hear her grimace through the phone. The panic you had before grew even larger, but a new found anger came with it. Your mother had never been your favourite person. She’d had you when she was quite young and left as soon as she could. She had no shame in sticking her responsibilities on your grandmother, who’d never once treated you like you weren’t her own daughter. The last you’d heard from your mom was when she showed up for your university graduation, high on whatever drugs she’d taken before the ceremony, and embarrassed you for the millionth time.

“Uh-huh,” you said, not certain about what she would tell you next.

“She’s sick again, I’m at the hospital now.” Sick was subject. Your grandmother never liked to admit that your mother was an addict. You always presumed that it hurt her to do so, knowing that she felt like she’d failed your mom.

“Should I come home?” Was all you asked.

“I think so, pumpkin.” The sadness dripping from her tone was more than enough of an answer.

“Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” You didn’t give her time to respond before you hung up. You went back into your room, barely glancing at the sleeping boy in your bed. You pulled a new pair of underwear on and some sweatpants, not immediately recognizing them as your own. You concluded that they must have belonged to one of your roommates, as you had to cuff them a few times just to make them the right length for your legs. ‘Lanky bastards’ you thought to yourself.

You grabbed a backpack, shoving the necessities in it, being unable to process a single thought. You were so angry at your mother. It had been a whole lifetime of broken promises, lies, and embarrassment. Multiple hospital stays and near death experiences that brought everyone to her bedside, just for her to recover and disappear again. Asking for money, begging for a place to stay, but barely ever an ‘i love you’, a thank you, or even the common decency to tell you who your father was. You hated her, hoping deep down that maybe this would be the last time, that it would all just be over, but you felt dirty for even thinking that.

A sob left your mouth as you pulled your hair back into a messy bun. You tried your best to stay silent as you pulled out your laptop out and searched for the next flight back to Michigan. You pulled your knees to your chest as you scavenged through the ticket sales, crying into the worn fabric of your pants. You found one leaving later that morning. By pure luck, you managed to get a ticket. You were unsure if you should buy a second, thinking maybe you could ask Sam or Danny to come with you. You bought it just in case you wanted company, not caring about the wasted money if you chose to go alone.

“Y/n?” A sleep-laced voice broke you from your thoughts. ‘Fuck’ you thought to yourself, wiping away your tears. “What’s going on?” Josh asked, rubbing his eyes, making a move to sit up. You refused to look at him, trying to transfer the plane tickets from your browser to your phone.

“Nothing, Josh. Go back to sleep.” You snapped, words as cold as ice. He had to stop himself from recoiling at your tone. He’d hoped that maybe after last nights events you’d finally warm up to him a bit more. He knew you held some sort of disdain for him, but he wasn’t certain why.

“Are you crying?” He ignored your statement, now standing to come over to you. He pulled on his boxers, covering himself up.

“No.” A grand lie. “Everything is fine, Josh. Just go back to sleep.” You sighed. His eyes fell on your computer screen.

“You’re going back home?” He questioned. “Today?” His heart dropped, hoping that he didn’t cause whatever you were feeling in that moment. When you didn’t answer, his anxiety grew even larger. “Did I do something?”

“No!” You finally broke, more tears falling from your eyes. “It’s my fucking mother, again!” You slammed your laptop shut, finally pulling the boarding pass up on your phone. “Just when things are going okay, when I think that maybe she’s done ruining my life, something else happens.” You choked out. Josh crouched to be eye level with you, now wide awake. “She’s in the hospital again. My grandmother says it’s not good, but they say that every time, and she always manages to bounce back. Makes everyone drop everything to run to her side, then fucking gets up and leaves and we don’t hear from her until she needs something or ends up back in the ICU!” You were pulling at your hair as you spoke, so distraught you didn’t even realize what you were saying.

Josh knew that whatever was happening was serious. Very rarely did you ever willingly tell anyone about your mother, or even really speak about her at all. He knew that you hated her, and that she was never around, but that was about it. He didn’t even know her name. As much as you were hurting, he felt his heart soften at the fact you were willing to share your troubles with him. “You know, I don’t even know where she lives, Josh. I’ve never been to my mothers house. I don’t know if she has a boyfriend, or if I have any siblings she abandoned with somebody else, or if she lives on the fucking street, or what. I don’t know her, at all.” A scoff fell from your lips as you finished. “The only time she bothers to call me is when she needs money, or somewhere to crash for the night. I don’t even have her phone number saved, because it’s a new one every time she calls.” You cried. “I was hoping when I moved here I could get away from it but she’s always going to ruin my life!”

“Mama, just take a breath-“

“I don’t even remember the last time she said she loved me. I’m tired of uprooting my entire life every time she decides to fuck up again. I don’t even want to go, but I’d feel too guilty if this time she finally decides to kick the bucket. Knowing my luck, that’s what would happen! Then I’d be the bad guy because I wouldn’t be there, that I refused to see my mother when before she died!” You were practically screaming the words. If the others hadn’t been so drunk when they returned, they likely would have woken up to your breakdown.

“Y/n,” Josh started, desperate for your attention. He was panicking. You finally looked up to meet his eyes. He took your cheeks in his hands, wiping away stray tears with his thumbs. “Baby, it’s going to be okay. I promise, everything is going to be fine. Your mom is gonna pull through, and maybe things will be different this time.” You recoiled at his statement, pushing him away from you.

“Jesus Christ, Josh!” You were furious. “Enough with the fucking positive vibes and the optimism. I cannot deal with that right now. My mother sucks, the situation is terrible, and it’s never going to change until she finally fucking dies!” You yelled. Your head was searing with a migraine and you felt like you could throw up. “I don’t understand how you always have a smile on your face, how things never go wrong for you, o-or how you always try to see the bright side of things. Sometimes, things are just shitty, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” You stood, wanting to get your bag packed and out of his company as fast as you could.

“Mama, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“And quit it with the pet names!” You snapped, tearing your phone charger out of the wall. “We fucked, that’s it. It was a drunken mistake and it will never happen again.” Josh tried to reason with himself, wanting to believe your harsh words were only because you were upset, but it felt like you had stabbed him. “I don’t understand why you’re so concerned about me. You cannot begin to understand what this feels like. I don’t think you’ve ever been anything other than happy; you have no idea what I’m going through right now. You try and console me and tell me that she’ll be okay, and it’ll all work out. Maybe I don’t want it to, maybe I just want her to fucking die, so I can leave and run away and start over. I just want to live a life that she has nothing to do with.” He was beginning to get angry now, too. “God, you always do this. You always make me feel like I’m an idiot for being upset!”

“Why I’m so concerned about you?” He shot back. “Are you that fucking blind?” You paused, unsure how to react to his words. You turned to look at him, finally willing to give him your attention. Something about Josh snapping made you realize that you might have overstepped. “I don’t know if you’ve realized, but I care about you, a lot. You keep shitting on me because I’m ‘always happy’ and you’ve ‘never seen me frown’ but have you ever thought about why that is?” He asked, taking a step closer to you. He took your face in his hands again, forcing you to keep eye contact with him, not even allowing you to ignore him anymore. “I am in love with you, and maybe the reason you’ve never seen me upset is because I am always happy to be around you!” You were frozen, feeling like your heart was going to explode out of your chest. “I hate seeing you sad. It kills me. So yeah, I always throw out something optimistic because I want nothing more than to make you feel better. I’m not doing it to make you feel like shit.”

Your chest ached at his words, feeling like the worst person in the world for misjudging him so badly. “Did last night really mean nothing to you?” His voice broke as he asked. In turn, it shattered your heart.

“No, of course it didn’t.” You reached up to run your thumb over his cheek, wanting to take back every mean thing you had said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m scared, and I’m hurting, and I don’t know what to do or where to go. I know it’s not an excuse, but I had no idea that you felt like that for so long.” You took a breath, searching for something in his eyes that would make you feel better like it always did. “I don’t hate you, Josh. I could never hate you. You absolutely piss me off sometimes, but I don’t know… last night when you stood up for me like that, something changed. Seeing you doing something other than smiling, hearing you say words that weren’t dripping with optimism, I dont know… made me realize that there was more to you than I ever really noticed. That you were more than this ray of sunshine in an untouchable bubble.” You had to laugh for a moment at your own words. His hands dropped from your face and grabbed you by your waist, pulling you into him. He kissed you again, gentle and more meaningful than the ones you’d shared the night before. You never wanted it to end. When he pulled away you had to stop yourself from pulling him back in.

“It scares me, Josh. Im terrified. We’ve always been so different that I never could have imagined we’d end up here, but now we are, and I don’t mind it.” You admitted. “I don’t know how to let people help me. I’m always defensive and closed off; I know I’m grumpy almost all of the time, and I wish I wasn’t, but my life has never been that nice to me. Im still waiting for the day Sammy or Danny will tell me they don’t want me here anymore. I’m not used to good things lasting, and I’m so scared that if anything happens, I’ll lose all of you. Hell, everything is fine and I’m still always scared I’m going to lose you guys.” You confessed. His eyes softened.

“You could never lose us.” He soothed your worry. “You could never lose me, that’s for sure.” He said, pulling you into his chest. You rested there for a moment, feeing at peace in all of the chaos. “All I ever wanted to do was make you happy. I still want that, if you’ll let me.”

“I’m so scared, Josh.” You whispered, reiterating what you had told him earlier. You were terrified, but also painstakingly curious about what it would be like. You wanted to know what it was like to love him, and to be loved by him. Really, genuinely loved. You wanted to know him, the little things that you’d always overlooked. You found yourself yearning to be held by him, for some sort of comfort. For once, you weren’t annoyed at the thought of his optimistic words, you almost wanted him to say them, to soothe you with them. “I’m terrified of everything right now. I don’t even know what to do.”

“Just let me be here, then. Let me help you through it.”

“Okay,” you whispered. His hands were burning into you. You could feel the emotion radiating through his skin. “I think that you already make me happy.” You told him. He pulled you tighter to him, if it was even possible. “I mean, I’ve been with people, but I’ve never felt anything like I did last night. Even now, when everything feels like it’s falling apart, you’re with me and it doesn’t feel hopeless like it always does.” He placed his lips to the top of your head. You closed your eyes, breathing in his scent. The cologne he put on last night was still lingering on him.

“What time does your flight leave, mama?” He whispered.

“Eleven.” You answered, not daring to open your eyes or move away from him.

“Think I can still get a seat beside you?” He asked. You looked up at him, tears starting again. As if you already knew how this would end up, you remembered the second ticket you’d bought. Still, you felt guilty asking him to do something like that for you.

“You don’t have to do that.” You shook your head. “It’s too much.”

“I want to.” He assured you, tucking your stray hairs behind your ear. “What kind of guy would I be if I let my girl deal with something like this all by herself?” You heart fluttered at his words, swelling with affection. You never wanted anyone to be a part of your mess. You wouldn’t even talk to Sam about it. Danny pried bits and pieces of your troubles from you, but never enough to know the full story. But with Josh in front of you, touching you with so delicately, saying the words you always wanted to hear from somebody, you couldn’t help yourself. You wanted him to come with you, even if it was selfish.

“Okay.” You agreed.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” He asked, his thumb and forefinger bringing you chin up to look at him. You nodded. “Then I’m all in. I’ll be here until the day you don’t want me here anymore, Mama. I promise.”

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anthemofgvf · 11 months

Text

Behind Closed Doors: Jake Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction Series

Part One

description: when your best friend asks for a favor, that being having his twin move in with you, you're hesitant. you've never really liked him, but you are struggling to meet your rent, so you oblige. who knew with time that you would become more upset with his presence, or upset with the fact you have underlying feelings for him that you don't want to face?

-the masterlist for this series-

trope: enemies to lovers x roommates au!

warnings for this series: alcohol and tobacco usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing

word count: 6.4k+

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You had grown accustomed to living alone in your apartment. After your previous roommate moved out to live with her fiancé and letting your name alone fall under the lease, it was considerably harder to meet rent. You had begun overworking yourself to scrabble just enough money to pay your landlord, phone bills - you name it, but it was leaving you feeling fatigue.

With your time off of work when it was granted to you, though, instead of catching up on sleep, you chose to meet with Josh, who was your best friend. You had met him at a small venue that had a multitude of bands performing a mix of country and rock music, and you both bonded over your gratitude for music. You later found out that he had just moved there, along with his twin, who had sought for a new surrounding for his music career. Josh, on the other hand, was a semi-successful short film director who had the opportunity to move out to Nashville for his job. You two clicked instantly, and he insisted on you meeting his brother, to which you were excited over.

But when you met Jake, your enthusiasm about him faltered. Although him and Josh had similar qualities besides their physique, he was much more egocentric. He had held himself on a pedestal, boasting about his life and all his accomplishments, which you grew bored of quickly. You didn't want to have the connotation that he only cared about himself, but your mind couldn't stop you from thinking that.

After spending more time with the twins when you had free time on your hands, you had realized how much Jake bothered you. Sure, at first, he was a stunning individual, but the aggravating part of that was that he knew how handsome of a guy he was and flaunted it. Never asking you many questions unless he was trying to flirt with you, or shooting a snarky remark that only made you roll your eyes. Hate is a strong word, but you strongly disliked his company.

So, you told Josh about your preference, that meaning you didn't want Jake hanging around anymore. He irritated you, and as much as Josh loved his brother, he was very understanding and cut the hangouts with the three of you to a small minimum, then none at all.

You and Josh chose a nearby coffee house, which you worked at, that sat in the middle of both of your guys' apartments to meet at weekly if you were able to. It was mainly for catching up and chatting about numerous things, but sometimes it was just to get out of your apartment and spend some quality time with him. As much of a workaholic you became, it was nice to take a break every so often. And you adored Josh, so seeing him was like a reward after a long week.

You had taken a seat outside on the small patio in a black metal chair after you were served a white mug filled with coffee, waiting for Josh to arrive in front of you. After a few moments, you turned your head to hear his cheerful greeting with a wave, and his other hand occupying a cup of green tea.

He walked over to your side, pulling you into a side hug before sitting across from you and sitting down with a sigh.

"Lovely day out, isn't it?" He threw his hand up while his curls flew with his motions, looking around the sky before meeting your eyes.

"My favorite season has always been fall. Perfect temperature, y'know?" You agreed with him.

He nodded with a hum. "A shame you don't get to experience it as much with how often you work though." He shrugged.

"Some of us aren't as lucky as you to have a high-paying job. Getting sick and tired of the routine."

Josh took a sip from his brown cup, setting it down with his lips pressed together into a smile. "I mean, there's always a solution to end your 'suffering'. Getting a new job, perhaps. Or finding a roommate to help you pay the bills."

"I make pretty good money here - the tips are great," you assure him, "but I don't know how long I can go on doing this. Have considered moving out and downsizing to a smaller place." You looked into the store, bustling with customers you were thankful you didn't have to deal with this day. "But finding a roommate isn't a bad idea. Hell, I've got an empty room collecting dust. Just don't know how to go about finding one."

"Was hoping you'd ask that." He drummed his hands on the table. You set your white, porcelain mug onto the table after he finished the rhythm he set on the round table and looking to him with a confused look.

"You know someone that's looking for a place to stay?" You leaned close to him with your voice brought close to a whisper.

"I do, in fact," he began, "and you know him." His lips curled into a coy smirk, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You squinted your eyes. "Him? What, is Jake looking for a place?" You chuckled.

Josh shrugged at you with his smile growing wider, and you immediately tried shooting him down. Before you could speak, he cut you off.

"Look, I know how you feel about him, but it would take out the awkward stage of getting to know someone new. And I think he's doing alright on booking shows, so he's ready to move out. Think if he was good on his own though, he would've found his own place by now, but I don't know." He gave you a shrug.

"Move out? Wait, where is he staying now?" You crossed your arms.

"Well, he was going through a rough period and got kicked out of his apartment. Needed somewhere to stay until he got back onto his feet, so I told him he could crash at my place until he could fund himself. And I don't know how he's exactly doing with money, but I know he's making it, and I don't think he'd mind your company. Besides, I think he should upgrade to a room of his own instead of my living room."

You shook your head. "I think I'll take a shot at looking for a roommate that isn't a pretentious dick. Post something on Facebook or one of those websites that are made for people looking for roommates."

He grabbed your hand into his. "You'd be doing a huge favor for me, and I could find a way to make it up to you somehow. I know you're just barely meeting rent, and I think Jake is a good option. Might even help you get over how you feel about him."

You sighed, relaxing your shoulders as you thumbed the back of his hand. "I don't really know how being stuck in a confined space with someone you don't like helps making you feel better towards them. I can only imagine it becoming worse."

"Why don't you just think about it? Give it some thought, get back to me, and then give me a final answer. I'll even help him move in, stop by often to make sure there's no tension. It would take a huge weight off your shoulders with how much you work, y/n. You can sit here and say you don't mind working double shifts nearly every day, but you seem to have permanent eye bags."

You removed your hand from his and swatted his shoulder, causing him to chuckle and put his hands up in defense, then reserving them to wrap around his cup.

"Well, I mean there's other places for him to stay, right? Like, he could move back in with your guys' parents."

"He's too prideful for that." He shook his head. "I know he isn't your only option, but he's probably the quickest way to fix your problem. Think about it for a few days, alright?"

You pressed your lips together as you sharply inhaled. The immediate answer was a hard no, but to give Josh some peace of mind, you obliged. "Fine. I'll think about it. But that doesn't mean it's a yes. Don't get too excited."

He nodded with a smile dancing on his lips, taking a sip from his tea and letting the conversation end in the air.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

With it being a week since your conversation with Josh, you had posted on almost every site you could find in search of a roommate. You were becoming desperate, impatient with the time it was taking for a response. You weren't going to choose your seemingly only option, which was served on a bitter, silver platter in front of you. You had hope that someone would answer your posts, since you had chosen about five websites, so you tried to clear your mind of it. Thankfully, work was a great way to keep your focus away from everything else, so you hadn't put much thought into Jake moving in with you.

But, when you had time to think about it, your immediate thought was an absolute no. Surely your apartment would feel cramped with his large ego making a home in it, so there was no way you'd ponder on the idea any longer. The only thing that had you second-guessing your decision was Josh, who said it would be doing a huge favor for him. It was hard to say no to Josh, especially with his infectious smile and sly ways of convincing you into something. It was a blessing and a curse, but in the long run, everything worked out when you said yes to him.

So, what was the main reason why you didn't want Jake to move in with you? Sure, yours and his's interactions weren't the best, along with his first impression leaving you feeling quite uncertain about him. But truly, you were unsure why you didn't like him besides that.

When you walked into work the next day, you figured a second opinion would do you justice on the situation at hand. Your coworker, Stacie, who was the first person you befriended at your job, was about the only person who had worked as much as you. So, seeing her as often as you did, you and her became extremely close overtime.

"I just don't know, Stace," you scrubbed the inside of a mug as you stood next to her at the front counter, "Jake just isn't the kind of person I want living with me. He drives me fucking nuts."

She huffed a laugh. "Why do you let him bother you? He doesn't seem too harmless."

"Of course, you say that. You haven't had the 'honor' of meeting him." You rolled your eyes. "It gets annoying after a while, y'know, setting himself on a high horse and boasting about his lively life. He's just so full of himself that it boils my skin."

"What's the worst that could happen? You and him quarrel a bit, but you both eventually get over it. So what? I mean, you'll probably barely see him with how much you work."

You shrugged with an eyeroll. "Just don't want to narrow my options down to one person just yet." You set the clean mug under the counter and sighed deeply, placing your palms flat on the counter and looking to her.

"Can I be honest with you?" She asked. You gave her a nod, and she continued. "I think you don't want him to move in with you because you're scared that he's actually not as bad as you've put him out to be. You don't want to realize that there's a good possibility you're going about this all wrong."

You pressed your lips tightly together. "I've had plenty of interactions with him to know who he is. If he truly isn't as egotistical as he acts in public, then you can tell me you told me so. How about that?"

"So, you're going to let him move in with you?" Her lips curled into a grin.

"I haven't made up my mind yet, Stace," you shot her down quickly, "but, if another week passes and I still have no one interested in being my roommate, then I might as well call it quits." You shrugged.

"I'll keep asking around for you," she winked at you, "however, I don't think he's a bad option. He's a musician, right?"

"Claims to be. I've never actually seen him perform, though. All I know is that he plays guitar and can sing from what Josh has told me, and Jake going on and on about how many people want to sign him."

She rolled her eyes with a light giggle. "Well, you'll have to let me know how truly talented he is once you hear it. Or, better yet, have him perform here."

She motioned her hand over to the small stage across from the both of you, that sat in the back middle of the shop. It was used as an open-mic stage on Friday's and Saturday's, but usually only had one or two acts consisting of musicians and comedians.

"I'm never giving him that opportunity. If work is my only escape from him, then I'm keeping it that way." You crossed your hands over one another.

"Sounds like you want him to move in with you." She kept her pleased smile on her face as she teased you.

"I wouldn't count on it!" You said in a sing-song tone, turning away from her and beginning to clean another mug.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

After work that night, you stared up at your ceiling, flat on your back, in thought. When your apartment was filled with silent air, only accessing your mind to fill with your roommate situation, you were left thinking about Jake. Different outcomes of the living arrangement flooded your brain, and you couldn't put them to rest. What if he truly wasn't as bad as you put him out to be, just as Stacie said? What if he was a genuine person who only put on a facade in public?

You decided to call Josh in slight frustration, waiting only a few moments as the phone rang for him to pick up.

"Speaking." Josh said.

"Hey," you sighed, "have time to talk?"

"Is this a talk-on-the-phone situation, or do I need to drive over?" He asked.

"I don't have a preference," you took a breath, squeezing your eyes shut, "it's about Jake."

"First time I think you've called me about him in a long time," he chuckled, "what's up? Have a final decision on the matter?"

You shook your head as you relaxed your eyes open. "I'm unsure. I talked with Stacie about it, and she tells me it's a good idea, but..."

"You think you're going to regret it?"

"Yeah, yeah I do," you huffed a laugh, "she gave me the idea that I am going about this all wrong and to just give it a shot, despite what I think."

"Meaning you think he's a 'pretentious dick', as you like to refer to him as?" Josh spoke.

"I guess. I mean, you know him better than I do. And I want full honesty when I ask this, but is he really that cocky all the time?"

Josh hesitated for a moment before he began. "Well, there's a short and a long answer to this. The short answer is no. The long one is that it's complicated."

"Care to explain?" You asked him.

"You know how when you meet someone, sometimes you try so hard to make a good first impression that you come across as vain? Yeah, well, he tends to do that. He's not particularly mean, nor as self-absorbed as he likes to pretend. Although, he is a bit arrogant at times, that's only really in a public setting. In a more intimate one such as a home, he's a great guy. I wouldn't set you up for failure if I knew it wasn't a good idea."

"Define great guy. Because that term has a lot of meaning behind it."

Josh chuckled into the phone. "Okay, uh, well, he's a kind person. Very caring, affectionate. He's got an interesting personality on him. Like, once you truly get to know him, he's quite funny. His humor is very similar to mine, but he doesn't like to show it off as much. I'd consider him a bit more reserved in that way. He's the kind of person that'll go to the ends of the earth when you need him to, the kind of person that would be there for you at a drop of a hat. It's hard to believe he's that way, from your experiences with him, but as I've known him a bit longer than you, you've just got to take my word for it."

You began to pick at the bottom hem of your shorts, watching your fingers twist the material in your fingertips. "Maybe I'm just overthinking too much."

"Yeah, and maybe worried that you're going to be miserable. I'm not going to lie to you, it'll take some time to warm up to him, but you'll be golden once he finally lets his guard down."

"I guess." You shrugged. That's all you could say to him, because frankly, you didn't know what else to follow that up with. You had too many questions that you could've bombarded him with, and despite knowing that Josh would answer everything, you just chose to flatly answer back to him.

"He likes you, y'know." Josh mentioned to you shyly.

You released a boastful laugh, tilting your head back into your pillow. "Yeah, right. He likes the idea of me. Think the only thing he wants from me is the thing he wants from most girls."

"Who knows, but I don't know, I'm just his brother who he tells everything to." He sighed dramatically. "What, are you afraid that you might have feelings for him, too?"

"Not a chance," you continued your light laughter, "sure, he's an attractive individual, but he's not my type at all."

"Well, I predict that your mind will change with time. Perhaps, you know, him moving in with you and the both of you creating a bond... It's a perfect story line, in my opinion."

"One that would work out in one of your films?" You flicked your eyes towards your phone. "Yeah, not this story, Josh. Don't expect me to cave in just yet."

"You're a tough one to crack, I'll hand it to you. But you should know Kiszka's are quite persistent."

"I certainly know you are with how much you text me asking me if I've made my mind up yet." You shook your head and relaxed your fidgeting hand on your lower stomach.

"And there's your proof," he said, "it's getting a bit late now. As much as I'd love to talk to you all night long, I've got to get up extra early in the morning. Duty calls!"

You giggled and said your goodbyes to him. Your phone was placed flat on the bed next to you, and your eyes reserved back to the ceiling above you. With a deep breath, you repeated the conversation in your head. You trusted Josh with everything, so why should you not about Jake? Maybe he was right about him, and you were just oblivious to his true character.

Whatever the matter was, you were bored with the thought of it all. You were exhausted from your double shift earlier, and sleep was what you needed most. After a quick check for notifications on your post and finding nothing, you put your mind at slight ease and called it a night.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Why do I let him bother me so much? you thought. What was the true reason, deep down that had pulled you away from letting him move in with you?

You pondered the reason at work, since it was one of your slower days, so you had unfortunate time on your hands to dedicate to your thoughts to Jake.

Other than just getting on your nerves, there was no real reason why him moving in would be a terrible idea. You had no concept of what kind of person he would be at home, or how well he kept himself.

With all this time on your hands, you realized that you were letting your anger about your original impression on Jake get the best of you. You had never experienced him without any surrounding factors such as a bar or at Josh's house. You hadn't had a moment with Jake where you two were alone, or where he wasn't acting in his true character. As someone who had the potential to be optimistic, and trusting in Josh's words, you forced yourself to believe that Jake had yet to show his true colors.

On your break at work, you checked your posts for any texts about potential roommates. And you were left with your final decision, which you couldn't say you were jumping for joy at but were a bit relieved you had it situated.

"Josh?" You said into the phone after he picked up.

"Everything okay? I'm a bit-."

You took in a sharp inhale, squeezing your eyes shut with slight aggravation. "I've decided that I'm okay with it. Jake can move in with me."

"Wow, alright! I'll let him know. When do you want to him to be at your apartment with his stuff?"

"I guess as soon as possible. I've got rent coming up shortly, and a few other bills, so having him help me pay those will give me a good idea on how good of a roommate he will be."

"Fair enough," he said, "how about in two days? Think I can swing by for some 'moral support' and help keep everything a bit more civil. Will you be off?"

"I think I'll be able to take it off. Don't worry, I'll be there with all the paperwork for him. No way he's entering my apartment when I'm not there."

He chuckled into the phone. "Understandable. Alright, well, we'll be there. Say, in the afternoon? I can text you when we're on our way."

"That sounds good, thanks," you said, "I'll see you then."

You exchanged your goodbyes, and you exhaled a deep breath that felt like a wave of relaxation had washed over your body. You had work to worry about, rather than be upset that you had settled for Jake moving in. So, you cut your break short, and decided to put your mind on that instead.

The unfortunate part of this was having your heart banging against your chest at your seemingly spontaneous decision. How long had it been since you've seen him? A few months? You were sure that he hadn't changed in that short period of time, but all you could do was hope. There was no point in feeling annoyed with yourself and your choices, living in regret. Besides, he hadn't even unpacked his stuff into your apartment, or signed anything to make things official. As much as you were ready to already back out of your decision with your overthinking mind, you had already notified Josh, so there was no point to disappoint him.

But when the day had come that it was time for Jake to arrive at your apartment, you made sure you woke up extra early to clean your place high and low in order to set high expectations for him. You had already made your rules for him up in your mind and prepared to lay down on him. If you were going to let him live with you, you two had to be on the same page about things.

While you were lost in thought, you noticed that Josh had texted you that him and Jake were on their way. You took a deep breath, tapping your foot rapidly against the bottom of your stool and resting your cheek in your palm.

You had set the papers you received from your landlord flat on your small kitchen island, losing your sight as you stared at them. Seemingly dissociating for a moment while you sat there. This was a large change in your everyday life, and one that you didn't expect to happen any time soon. Out of all people, it was Jake who would be living in the room right next to yours, which was split by a bathroom. Too close to each other, you thought. Even a closed bedroom door would make you feel cramped by his presence.

The call box rang, and you immediately shot your eyes up to the noise and stood up with shaky legs. You answered it, hearing Josh's voice, and allowed him to enter the building. Your hands grew clammy with nervousness. Wiping them on the backs of your jeans, you stood close to the door and listened for their footsteps of arrival.

When you heard a knock at your door, you opened it immediately and saw Josh standing alone, empty-handed, with a small smile plastered on his face. He was wearing his normal attire, a white long sleeve shirt and brown khaki shorts.

"Hey," you crossed your arms, "where's Jake? And all of his stuff?"

"He wanted a tour first." He explained, then stepping into your apartment.

"What, is he unsure about moving in and my place?" You said with scrunched brows. This was off to a rough start, and you could feel your skin becoming hot. This was frustrating for you enough, and for him to make it a bit more difficult by extending the period of him settling in was just the icing on the bitter cake.

"No, he-."

"I just want the lay of the land before I bring my stuff in. Is that so bad?" Jake entered the room, throwing his hands off to his sides with a cocky grin.

You took a moment to examine him, what he was wearing, how he appeared. He had a flannel of red, blue, and green on with a white t-shirt underneath. Wearing black ripped jeans and black shoes to match, it was his casual attire that you hadn't been familiar with. It caught you off guard slightly to see an alternative appearance of him, but nonetheless, you weren't excited to see him in any way or light.

"Jake." You said as you stood up straight.

He nodded at you. "Y/n. Been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Not long enough." You shrugged.

"Alright," Josh clasped his hands together, "care to show him around?"

You flicked your eyes to Josh with a light sigh. "Yeah, sorry." You gave one more look to Jake, giving him a tight-lipped smile, and began your short tour.

You spoke minimally, showing him the kitchen that laid behind the three of you. Then, the living room that sat across from the kitchen, the short hallway that housed the bathroom and your bedroom, along with his.

You didn't enter your room, but you did allow him to look around his new room. He was quiet, just like his brother, walking around it and pressing his hand flat on the bed and pushing onto it. He nodded satisfactorily, then looked up to you with a smile.

"Is your room up to par, Jake?" Josh said to him.

"I could get used to it." He said to him.

After you left the bedroom, Josh let you know they'd be back with Jake's boxes. You offered to help, but they insisted that they had it under control.

Watching them walk in and out with Jake's items, it hit you harder that he was now living with you. You chose to set yourself against the wall outside of Jake's new bedroom, seeing them pass in and out of your apartment.

Josh stopped following Jake and chose to stand across from you on the other side of the doorframe.

"Regretting your decision?" He folded his arms.

"I don't know," you placed your head against the blue-grey wall, "I'm trying to be optimistic about this, you know, since he's going to be the reason I get to stay here." You said. "But I'm not a huge fan of him. I mean, I feel like we're already off to a rough start."

He looked over his shoulder to see Jake walking in with a singular brown box, passing the both of you and setting it in his room with the rest of his stuff. He began unpacking quietly, crouching on the ground and tearing open a few of the boxes.

"Well, there's really no backing out now." He brought his voice down to a whisper. "Maybe you should try talking to him, put your guys' past behind you and starting off fresh."

You scoffed. "Starting fresh," you shook your head, "we'll see how far that goes.

He only shrugged at you, joining his brother and helping him put his clothes into his drawers and closet. With an eye roll, you dragged yourself into the room and walked over to Jake. You noticed he had two guitar cases unopened, propped up on the walls.

"Guitars." You said to him, pointing at them.

He closed a drawer that he finished filling and lifted his head towards you. "Wasn't going to leave them at Josh's. Kind of need them, y'know? Brought my amp, too."

"How long have you been playing?"

"Ever since I could remember. Think I was two, but it feels like I've picked up a guitar as soon as I was born."

"He's quite the musician." Josh pointed at the both of you with a toothy grin.

Jake nodded at him. "Anyways, I've always liked music. I'm thankful that I get to do it as my career."

You nodded. "I'm sure it's hard finding work as a struggling soloist, huh?"

He looked at you with a scrunched face. "I've actually been able to get lots of gigs, actually. What gives you the impression that I'm not doing well for myself?"

"Well, you're moving in with me after crashing at Josh's place because you got kicked out of your own apartment. Figured if you were doing well, you'd be living on your own."

"This is more of a favor for you, alright? Do you think I was jumping for joy at the idea of living with you?" He turned his body towards you.

"More of a favor for me? I figured you would be so excited to live with me since Josh told me you-."

"I unpacked a good amount of your stuff, Jake." Josh quickly cut in. "Think it's time to get some of your 'decorations' out to make the room a bit more you."

You both looked towards Josh, giving each other a singular glare before stepping a part for each other. You felt your blood boil at the sight of his stuff bombarding your once empty room, and you realized that you began the small argument. You couldn't figure out what to talk to him about, especially since you two didn't seem to have a lot in common. But, with the unfortunate time that you had with him, you were bound to learn almost everything about him.

After the room was fully finished, throwing away the boxes outside in a large bin and Jake being fully settled in, Josh said his goodbyes to the both of you. You wished he would have stayed longer, but he would've had to leave at some point.

Before you left the room, Jake called your name.

You turned to him. "Need anything?"

"Just wondering how you feel about being stuck with me now."

"Hopefully it's not for too long." You gave him a shit-eating grin.

"Well, I think it's going to be fun living with you."

"We'll see how you feel about that when I go over the ground rules, which I think we can start with now." You nodded at him, folding your arms.

"You have rules for me? You're quite the stickler." He chuckled at you.

"It's so we can maintain a civil living environment, be on the same page about things..." You trailed off. "I'm sure there are some things you want me to be aware of."

"Perhaps I'll think of some," he exhaled his words, "but aren't rules meant to be broken sometimes?"

You noticed his lips curl into a devious smile. He was trying to get under your skin quickly, but you weren't going to allow it.

You decided to play back. "If that means more fun, then sure they are."

The slightest hint of a genuine smile replaced the original smile he once wore, but he quickly changed his demeanor.

"Give me an example, then."

You shook your head. "I don't know, but none of rules I'm setting down for you are supposed to be broken. That'll guarantee you a kick to the curb."

He sighed, throwing his hands to his side and taking a defeated breath. "I was starting to think you were a bit exciting."

"I can be a bit deceitful at times. But I like to think of myself as a fun individual." You could feel a smile forming on your mouth, one that tightened at your cheeks. But with a tug on the inside of your lip, you were able to break it.

He folded his arms. "We'll venture your thrillingness another time. Should go ahead and give me those rules that seem to be so important to you."

"I'm sure you have some things you want me to be aware of, right? Boundaries that you don't want crossed - stuff like that." You began walking out of the bedroom.

He followed behind with minimal space between you. "I didn't have the time to think of some. Maybe I'll write some down and post them on the fridge." He gave you a shrug.

You stopped your movements once you hit the kitchen, turning around and noticing the proximity between the both of you.

You looked to him. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, alright? Now, let's start. So-."

He cut you off. "How many rules are there? Like, are they ones that are common sense or ones that would make me want to move out already?"

"If you'd let me talk and stop being impatient, then you'll figure it out."

For a moment, you two stood there, staring each other down like a faceoff. Who would break first? Who would accept defeat? Tension rose in the room, building up a small barrier between yours and his's bodies that felt like it was meant to be broken. You didn't want to leave the wall there between you two, as you began to feel trapped with annoyance.

You decided to restate yourself, calmly. "Some of them are pretty basic rules, like don't be late on rent and bills, make sure you're giving me your half and not cutting me short. Don't have anyone over unless you tell me, just because it's the right thing to do. I don't want anyone showing up when I'm indecent or the place is a mess."

"Do you not clean your apartment often?" He furrowed his brows.

You placed your hand on your forehead. "I do, Jake, it's just a circumstantial issue. Sometimes I don't have free time on my hands to keep the place tidy because I work so often, and I come home exhausted every night. And that leads me to my next rule: Keep your space tidy, and since you're living here, clean up around a bit if you make a mess. That's common sense, right?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, that makes sense. What else?"

You trailed your body around the island, while Jake stood center in the room. "Don't crank your amp up all the way when I'm home. Maybe even keep it down a bit while I'm out just in case of noise complaints. I'm fine with you playing, practicing, all of that. Just try and be mindful of others."

He cocked his head to the side slightly with a grin. "Maybe you should invest in a pair of earplugs."

"I'll have you know I already have a pair, but I'd prefer not to use them all the time. This is my place just as much as it is yours now. Clear?"

"Crystal." He stated plainly. "Anything else?"

You began talking about different rules that the landlord had set already, saying that he had to follow them for obvious reasons. You also told him if you had any other rules, you'd let him know. But for now, you had nothing else to say.

You showed him the papers he had to sign so you could hand them to your landlord, which was a small stack and could easily be finished in a few minutes. A black ink pen was set down next to the papers, and you watched intently for a few moments as he sat down, read them quickly, and signed.

He paused his motions, flicking his eyes up to you and setting them down onto the papers. "You don't have to stand there and watch me. I'm signing them, don't worry."

Your cheeks crept with a light pink shadowing over your face. "Right, sorry," you clasped your hands together, "I'll just go get ready for work."

You made your way over to your bedroom. You had almost made it down the hallway, until Jake spoke up.

"Where do you work?"

You turned on your heels to face him. "Brewology Coffee House. I'm an acting manager there."

He had his head over his shoulder towards you. "Ah, I don't think I've been. I'll have to stop by one of these days."

"I don't like the sound of that." You huffed a laugh through your nose.

"I have free will. Perhaps I'll come get some coffee tonight."

You shook your head with an eye roll. "Don't think about it. I can kick you out, you know."

He chuckled lightly. He turned his attention back to his papers, and said, "You won't. Think you're starting to like me."

"Not even remotely close." You shook your head and finally went to your bedroom to change.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

-part two-

series taglist: @jakekiszkasmommy @anythingforjtk @gold-mines-melting @twistedmelodies @ageofhearingloss @classicsneverdie @lmaooharry @raviolilegs @mydarlingdanny @iheartjakekiszka @edtvdf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @gvf23 @flo-gvf @madneedshelp @carlyfleet @pinkunicornsandbluecows @edtvdf @lmaooharry

other tags: @songbirds-sweet @sacredjake @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @fallonfatality @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @lexii-nv-c @joopsworld @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @loverleaverslayerbeliever @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @hippievanfleet @haileygvf @gretasfallingsky

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gretavangroupie · 1 year

Text

Vigilance (Chapter 6)

Word count: 14.1k

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, language, fluff, angst, smut, violence.

This story is a very special collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

HER POV

FEBRUARY 2021

You hit send, delivering the new hire paperwork to your new boss from the comfort of your brand new apartment. The final class of your degree and your advisor was able to help set you up to accept an internship at Collective Artist Management. The company you had your eye on for months. You had set up email alerts last fall hoping to see the listing for an intern come up, and on that lonely New Years Day you saw the job posting. You applied immediately knowing there would likely be hundreds of people desperate for the opportunity.

You spoke to your advisor about it, and somehow she knew someone and the internship was suddenly yours. The only stipulation being that you would finish out your degree and move to Nashville, Tennessee. A city you had never been to, with no friends, no family and no sense of comfort. But maybe this was the fresh start you needed, still haunted by the ghosts living in your hometown.

Things with Jake never got better, never seeing him again after that fateful day. Never even speaking about it. He left for tour and you left for school. All there was was silence. Your heart broke into a million pieces. You thought you'd be with him forever. Funny how life takes your plans and turns them inside out.

You dreaded each holiday spent at home, knowing there would be a chance they would all be there. But to your surprise they never were. Three Thanksgivings passed with empty place mats, Christmas came and went each year, never to see any of their smiling faces. They had moved on from this life and had started anew. Sam kept in touch the first few months after you and Jake ended things, but eventually he dropped off too. You tried not to take it personally, knowing that they were onto bigger and better things, but you still felt that pang of sadness not only of losing Jake, but losing your best friend too.

For a while you would watch them through social media. Watch them tour, watch them live out the dream they always told you they would. But at a certain point it started to do more harm than good. So, you did what you had to do and you blocked them. All of them. It hurt and you hated it but you couldn’t bear it anymore. They changed. You changed. You weren’t in their orbit anymore. It was easier to not know, than to know anything at all.

So you put your head into the books, burying yourself in your classes, soaking up every bit of knowledge you could. Ending each semester with perfect grades and the years breezing by. You always imagined yourself in Los Angeles or maybe even New York. Never Nashville. But again, life has a funny way of skewing your plans, so here you found yourself. A new city with new people, wishing and hoping that maybe you would be able to fill the hole in your heart with new friends and new lovers. Leaving the past behind you, as much as it hurt.

—

The first week of your internship was spent going over everything crucial to know in the job. Where to be, where not to be and who you should and should not talk to. You learned about the labels you worked with, labels you no longer worked with and you met your boss, Allison.

You would be working as an Artist Liaison Intern. A long fancy title for unpaid coffee runner, and fulltime errand girl. In reality you would be helping coordinate flights, travel visas, help schedule cars and bus transportation, even help plan parties. There were really no limits on this job title and you were more than thrilled to be working with Collective. You knew after your first year of college that you wanted to work in music. Work with bands and artists like the ones you grew up with. While it hurt to think that they helped pave this path for you, you thought that maybe the pain of it all was just the universe pushing you towards the life you were destined to have.

Your boss Allison started each day with a checklist of what needed to get done, and then would delegate tasks to you. Recently they had all been tasks that would eventually come together to build the pieces of the Label Release Party. A party for all of the bands and artists releasing new albums in the coming year for that particular label. The client for this quarter's party was UMG.

You were handed a binder of information from the last party and began to delve into the specifics of what exactly needed to get done. Each day was spent alongside Allison and her team building the foundation of this party taking place in just two months. Over 30 artists would be there, and UMG had no budget, so you and the team almost had full reign over the entirety of the party.

The nights were long and the interns from other departments became the new friends you were hoping for all along. Dragging you to bars after work each night, drinking away the stress of each day. You were beginning to feel happy here in this new city. Happy with your new friends, and happy with the life you were building for yourself. Allison had mentioned the possibility of the internship turning into a full time position more than once so you were sure to be on your ‘A’ game at all times, really hoping that you wouldn't have to leave at the end of all of this.

As the date of the party drew nearer, so did the anxiety. Was everything perfect? Would the label be happy? Couple that with the stress of your impending Graduation and you were borderline losing it. Allison seemed more than happy with your work and with the party only a few days away, everything began to fall into place exactly as you hoped it would.

—-

APRIL 2021

Smoothing your black dress out with your palms, you look yourself over in your full length mirror one last time before rushing out the door. You wobble down the stairs in your heels and make quick strides to your car. As you put the key in the ignition you slide your heels off and throw them into the passenger seat. You back out of the parking space and try to remember to take deep breaths. Everything you had worked for was banking on tonight. The fate of your job was banking on this. One slip up could make or break you, and you would be damned if you let another good thing get away.

Your heels clacked loudly against the tile floor of the lobby. The label had insisted on the party being hosted somewhere ‘cool and hip’ so when Allison suggested The Blue Room at Third Man Studios they were instantly sold. It was large enough to hold a crowd but intimate enough to feel exclusive. As you stepped into the main space you saw all the decorations and all of the things you had been preparing come to life. The signs, the food, the table placement… everything was perfect.

Allison rushed over as soon as she saw you, frantic with her hands full of paperwork. “We have an hour until artists start showing up. Do you have the flash drive?” she asks.

“Of course, it’s in my bag. I got it from Hazel this morning.” You say handing her the small metal drive.

“Thank god, you’re a lifesaver. I really couldn’t have done all of this without you.” she says, accepting it and walking off, before turning to look over her shoulder. “By the way, the job is yours, welcome to the team.”

Your jaw dropped and she smiled and walked away rushing off to the sound booth. You did it.

You spent much of the evening on cloud nine, running around tending to the needs of the guests and helping with catering and even at the bar. The slideshow went off without a hitch and the artists seemed more than happy with the display the team had procured for each one of them. You watched in awe as each artist flashed across the screen, standing to be recognized. As it reached the final few artists a name flashed across the screen that almost took your breath away. The single from the impending album played in the background as the slide read ‘Greta Van Fleet’.

You’re sure the blood drained from your face as you nervously scanned the room looking for the guys and their representation. In the far left corner of the room you saw Josh, standing with his drink accepting the applause the crowd gave him. He looked so different since the last time you saw him. Granted it had been almost three years since you blocked them all, never once searching them or the band knowing it would send you back to square one. Hearing their new music playing now was the first you had heard them in years. Josh’s voice had matured and their sound had become rock solid. They truly did make it. The guitar playing sent a shock right to your heart though, reminding you that you could very well be in the same room as him right now. You scanned the table where Josh sat but found only him. Part of you was thankful that it was only him but the other part of you felt punched in the gut at the stupid hopefulness you felt.

As your eyes fixate on Josh, you quickly realize that if he sees you he will want to talk so you tear your eyes away hoping to keep a low profile for the rest of the night. You keep your head low working at the bar and keeping to yourself, that is until Allison found you, pulling you away from your quiet task.

“Want to go meet some of the people you will be working with? Wait, you want the job right?” she asks.

“Of course I do! Yes!” you reply eagerly.

“Then let's go!” she says pulling you behind her.

She ushers you around the room, introducing you to executives, co-workers you hadn’t met yet, and even a few artists you’d be working with. Your head was spinning as you tried to process all the new information coming in while simultaneously keeping an eye out for Josh, doing your damndest to avoid him.

After a few hours people began to slowly filter out and you started to collect empty place settings and pack the nameplates back into the little box you plucked them from. Feeling like the coast was clear you slipped your heels off as you worked paying no mind to the few guests still lingering near the bar.

You heard the doors open to the room and you saw the familiar fluff of curls cross the room, back to the table he was previously seated at, scanning over it before grabbing his keys. As you watched him, his eyes flicked upward meeting yours.

You look away quickly hoping he wouldn’t recognize you, but you kick yourself because it’s Josh, and you knew he would. He inevitably makes his way over to you, rushing, pushing chairs out of the way in order to get to you as quickly as possible.

“Y/N?” he questions, as he stands in front of you.

You turn slowly to face him, as you nod. “Hi, Josh.”

Expecting to be met with anger or resentment you furrow your brow waiting for his next words, but instead of that you are met with a beaming smile.

“Oh my god, it is you. I…I thought it was you earlier, but I couldn’t tell. I convinced myself that it couldn’t be. I… Oh my god, how are you? What are you doing here?” he asks, shocked.

“Well…I kind of live here now. I work for Collective Artist Management.” you say nervously. “I graduate next month.”

His hand reaches out and lands on your arm, and you smile to yourself. Typical Josh, always touching. “Y/N, that is amazing! You fucking did it, huh!” he says gripping your arm. “You live here? In Nashville?”

“Yeah, I moved here at the end of January, beginning of February… something like that. Been working and trying to meet new people and get to know my new city.” you reply.

“How did we end up in the same city again?” he laughs, a sound you have sorely missed.

A smile strung across your face at the sound, bringing back the memories you have tried so hard to bury deep inside your brain. He pulls his phone from his pocket, and taps the screen a few times before flashing it to you. “Is this still your number?” he asks.

You examine the screen seeing your name and the emojis you selected all those years ago, still sitting peacefully next to it. “Yep, that’s me.” you reply.

“Good, can we uh… can I text you? Maybe we can get drinks tomorrow or something?” he asks.

“Yeah, that would be fine. I’m sure I have a lot to catch up on.” you laugh.

A giggle leaves his chest as he replies, “Yeah, just a bit. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yep, talk to you then.” you say, before being pulled into his chest for a hug. As his arms wrap around your neck you catch a whiff of him, and you are instantly catapulted back to a time you have tried so hard to forget.

He releases you and walks away shoving his hands in his pockets tossing you a smile over his shoulder.

Your mind is positively reeling, you had no idea that he lived in Nashville. Where were the others? When did they move here? Obviously they had made it pretty big if they were signed with UMG…

As the night wrapped up and you drove yourself home you let your mind wander down those old dusty paths you had roped off for so long. You thought of Sam and your last conversation with him about Elle. How things weren’t going too well and things were only getting harder.

You thought of Danny and Josh and the last time you heard them play. But mostly you thought of Jake and how you left things, broken and beyond repair.

As you showered the night off of you, you thought some more, wondering if meeting Josh for drinks was a good idea. Not sure if you wanted to reopen those old wounds. Though the more you thought about it, years had passed. You had changed. He had clearly changed, filling out more and carrying himself more authentically. You felt compelled to know this new Josh so you decided you would go, and you would leave the past behind you.

—-

The text from Josh came in the early afternoon, startling you from your book.

Josh: Fable Lounge at 8?

You: See you then!

You rifled through your closet for what had to be an hour. What the hell do you wear to meet up with an old friend in a new city? At a swanky bar nonetheless? Your bed was littered with different items of clothing strewn about, a pile for maybe, a pile for no, a pile for absolutely not. After a half hour of madness, you finally decided on some tight jeans with a black tank and green bomber jacket. You let your hair hang naturally, it had grown quite long, and you decided to let your natural waves be. Simple makeup and some winged eyeliner, and you were out the door.

Thankfully, Josh was already at the bar when you arrived, having a casual conversation with the bartender pouring his drink. You walked up and took the stool to his right, trying to take him by surprise.

“Heyyyy, there she is!” He brought you in for a hug. “It’s so good seeing a familiar face in town. Whatcha drinking tonight?”

“Rum and Coke” you reply.

He nods his head to the bartender and he begins to make it. The two of you sat, drank, and laughed, catching up on each other's lives. After a round or two, you felt your body begin to relax.

“Don’t have anyone steady in your life?” he asked, sipping from the side of his glass.

“No, nothing serious.” You suddenly became shy, and he knew why. “Things just haven’t felt right...in a while. Ya know?”

“Do I know?” He asked from the side of his mouth.

You sighed heavily. “Of course you know, Josh. You’ve always known.” you reply.

He smiled his know-it-all smile, “Hmm... Well… maybe you’ve found yourself back in the right place again.” He smirked, and lightly clinked his glass to yours. The blood drained from your face. What on earth did that mean?

You heard the door open behind you, catching Josh’s attention as a smile played upon his lips. Turning to see what he was looking at, the blood drained from your face. Oh. My god. In walked Danny, Sam, Jake, and…a girl. On Jake’s arm.

“SURPRISE! Look who I found!” Josh moved his stool to reveal you, as all of their jaws dropped simultaneously.

“Josh, what the fuck!” You said quietly in his ear, gritting your teeth through a fake smile.

Rounds of hugs came quickly from Sam and Danny, while Jake and the mystery girl stayed quietly far enough away that they didn’t feel the need to partake in your greetings.

Sam immediately made his way over to your barstool. You inhaled a quick breath to prepare yourself for this. You spun the swivel stool and faced him. What you came face to face with wasn't at all what you expected.

He was taller, had filled out a bit, and god damn, he was absolutely gorgeous. His hair was a bit longer, rested below his shoulders, and was finger-tousled. His skin seemed to glow, especially in this lighting. It looked so soft, you had to stop yourself from reaching out to touch it. He had just a little bit of dark peach fuzz around his lips and chin that countered the silken look of his skin, but it suited him well. His eyes, though. They hadn’t changed. Deep brown, sanpaku shaped, and they still squinted into little half moons when he smiled too hard. Which he did, the second you turned to face him.

“Y/N?! Are you kidding me?! What are you doing here? With Josh, nonetheless!” He shoved Josh’s shoulder from behind, causing him to choke a little on the drink he was swallowing.

“Why didn’t you tell me we had an old friend in town?!” Sam asked him without taking his eyes off of you.

His fucking smile.

He was grinning ear to ear, genuinely happy to see you. His perfectly straight and white teeth sat behind his gorgeous lips. You always envied the hell out of his smile.

Before you could speak, he was lifting you off the stool into a giant bear hug that felt more like a back-cracking than a formal hello. He set you back down to your feet and you gathered yourself, flustered by his newfound confidence.

“Surprise? I guess?” You returned his beaming smile, and you felt him lower his head and catch your eyes, taking you all in. In another unexpected instance, you found his hand on yours, lifting it to spin you around. When you had done your full turn, he met your gaze again.

“You look spectacular. Haven’t changed a bit,” he said with a knowing wink.

But, you had changed. Though you had long since lost your freshman 15, you had gained it back in all the right places, finally forming into the full shape of a grown woman. You’d let your hair grow, and decided to change up your style a bit. New city, new you, of course.

Sam took the bar stool next to you, leaving the rest of his group behind. You cleared your throat, mind flashing with dread as you caught Jake in your peripheral, sitting three stools down. Thankfully Josh and Danny separated the two of you. Sam motioned to the bartender and ordered a tequila soda. Next, his elbow was on the bar, head leaning into his hand, looking directly at you. You downed the rest of your drink as you met his gaze.

“What the hell are you doing here, Y/N?” He said quietly through a giant smile.

“Well, my internship brought me here, actually. Remember I was in school? I majored in Music Management and Marketing, so I took an internship and I’ve been working at Collective Artist Management learning how the logistics of the industry work.” you say proudly.

You sipped hard on your skinny straw, getting nothing but watered-down rum. “I basically buy plane tickets, help plan tours and throw big parties for a living now. Anyways, we hosted UMG’s new release party the other night. And, lo and behold, I ran into Josh. Well, he ran into me. We got to talking… He invited me out for drinks. But- he failed to tell me he was bringing the whole family. I didn’t even know you guys lived here.” You rolled your eyes to the side to look toward Josh, but he didn’t hear you.

“That’s amazing. Leave it to the universe. So, you’re living here now?” His gaze was dreamy and intense, like he was hanging on your every word. He folded the straw in half over the lip of his glass, and sipped it from the side.

“Yeah. For now, at least.” You grinned at him, and he returned it.

The drinks continued to flow, and the conversation did too. Danny had made his way over to you, embracing you in one of his all-too-familiar bear hugs and it felt like no time had passed at all. Josh told 5 or 6 stories, Danny announced that he was finally going to purchase his dream guitar tomorrow, and Sam explained, in detail, all the restaurants you just had to try as soon as humanly possible.

Jake…and the girl, Sophia, you learned….stayed put in their seats, adding very little to the conversation, and never once giving you the greeting everyone else did.

“Shots?! Anyone want a shot? Let’s do shots.” Classic Samuel. He clapped his hands together, successfully signaling the bartender. Your face was now well on its way to feeling warm and numb from the liquor, and you threw your head back in aggravated laughter. The bar had gotten significantly more crowded, and the atmosphere was heady.

“Sam, I have to get up tomorrow!” You objected while the bartender lined up the shot glasses.

“Yeah, at what, 11am? You’ll be fine, don't be a baby.” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes. What was this, high school again?

“Besides, we’re celebrating! It’s a reunion!” He slapped the bar top candidly.

The six of you crowded into a small circle and raised the tiny glasses into the air. You ever so briefly made eye contact with Jake from across the circle, and he looked away as soon as your eyes could focus.

“To new memories and old friends, may we be ever compliant with what time throws toward us, and may we accept with grace and dignity!” Josh bellowed, slightly slurry. Everyone clinked glasses and downed the warm liquor. You welcomed it, though these people felt like home, you couldn’t have felt more out of place.

You turned back to the bar, wiping your mouth of the droplets that had escaped your lips. Sam joined you in his original seat. His eyes were locked onto the side of your face and you almost felt them burning holes into the side of your skull.

“What, Samuel?” You said sharply through a tight smile.

He smiled a curt half smile, his eyes hooded but confident. “Let’s get out of here.” He nodded his head toward the door. You might have choked on your spit if you had been a tad bit more drunk. Your eyebrows raised in shock.

“What? L-like...leave? You and-” you motioned to yourself and him, questioning if you had heard him right.

“I hate this fuckin bar. It’s too uptown for me. Not my style, ya know?” Sam said, standing up and pulling out his wallet. “I know someplace else that is more our speed.”

You were speechless, unsure of what to say. But you were well on your way to being more than tipsy, feeling just right, on the brink of confidence overtaking your personality. What the hell, right? You could afford to learn about a few new bars in town, and you were with your best friend. Well, old best friend. And the man at the other end of the bar couldn’t seem to care less if he spoke to you tonight or not. Not that you cared.

After Sam paid his bill and yours, which you didn’t object to out of old habit, he clinked the pen closed and replaced his wallet. “Let’s go!”

In a rush of hands whisking you from your chair, the two of you were quickly pacing toward the door, hand in hand.

“See you guys later, we’re going to get into some trouble. Get the bail money ready, bitches!” Sam hollered to his brothers still seated at the bar.

You didn’t know what to add except a quick shrug and a passing wave of goodbye. You met Jake’s eyes as Sam pulled you past, and the look on his face was unreadable. Pissed? Maybe. Sad, confused, silent.

The outside air was enough to sober you up and make you feel more drunk all at once. The two of you paced down the sidewalk quickly; your arm tucked under Sam’s.

“Where are we going?” You pressed.

“A fun place. Don’t worry about it.” His hair was blowing in the chilled air, and his face was as happy as you remembered it to always be. Carefree Sammy, always so eloquently unbothered by anything.

As you walked into the next bar, you were met with a darker, more relaxed atmosphere. The place was small, and instantly felt cozy. Wooden walls, a lava lamp on the bar, plastic chairs at the tables, and a jukebox on the far wall. Ah, yes. Definitely more your speed.

“Rum and coke?” Sam asked as you approached the bar.

“Yes please.” you responded.

The night continued on, the two of you laughing, sharing old stories, getting significantly more intoxicated…but neither of you daring to touch on the subject that was lingering in the air.

Honestly, you didn’t want to bring it up. You knew it would happen sooner or later, but time had passed. Things had changed. People had moved on. You were adults now. And you were enjoying yourself, things were light and airy and giggly with your old friend again. It felt like old times. Cheerful, breezy, nostalgic. Sam brought about an air of peace that you had so missed.

“I can’t buhlieve my old friends are FAYYYMOUS!” you raised your voice overtop of the old rock song playing from the jukebox, hand landing on Sam’s knee.

He looked at you a little sideways.

“Have you really not kept up with our music, Y/N?” He acted a little offended. “We’ve toured the world, released two albums...we kinda uh, won a Grammy...” he laughed through the last word.

Your eyes widened and your stomach flipped. How could you tell him that you’ve been actively ignoring and going out of your way to block out every word involving their band name on your social media? How could you explain that seeing their faces on your screen or hearing them play in your car brought back such sickening memories that it put you in depressive episodes for days?

Even seeing them here, now, in the flesh made you feel so uneasy it was hard to think straight.

“I heard one of your songs playing in the grocery store once.” You swallowed hard. “Safari Song, I think? It was wild, just minding my own business, picking through the fruit bins, listening to my old best friends play on the radio in a super public setting.”

He was silent.

“I knew you guys had made it, but honestly, I...kind of… Don’t seek you out. It really just…hurts? Kind of. I don’t know. After everything.” you stammer.

Sam placed his hand on your knee and leaned forward. “No, I get it. I really do. It would be strange. But, hopefully one day you’ll come to a show. Let us show off for you a little bit?” He smiled a cheesy smile.

You half cocked a smile back, and put a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah! Maybe one day.”

You knew going to see them play would be absolutely mind blowing. Watching their fans go nuts, hearing their new music and how they’ve grown as musicians, watching Jake. Your stomach felt sick at the thought.

When the night was growing toward a close, and the bar had begun to empty, you and Sam found yourselves two of the only few people left at the bar, heavily and drunkenly engaged in a game of quarter bounce. You’d had a blast with him this evening, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed how the neon was glowing off of his skin, radiating and accentuating his perfectly developed features.

Or how sexy it looked when he pulled his hair back into a low bun when the game got intense, a few strands falling into his face…You sincerely flushed when he kissed you on the cheek after making three quarters in a row. He beamed with contentment, comfort, warmth. Never letting the smile fall from his face the whole night. He was being his goofy self, making you laugh until your stomach muscles hurt, but all the while you found yourself intensely and overwhelmingly attracted to him. For the first time you saw him. Not his brother.

“You cheated! That’s not fair!” He practically yelled. “You don’t get three chances, it’s in the rule book!”

“What rule book, Sam? The rule book doesn’t exist!” You slurred through hearty giggles, knowing well and good that you had in fact, cheated.

He walked over to you slowly, taking his pointer finger and playfully poking you in random spots across your face. You tried to swat him away, to no avail.

“Cheater!” *poke*

“Pumpkin!” *poke*

“EATER!” he taunted.

You grabbed his hand to pull it from your face, he knew he was pissing you off. He sturdied his arm, which in turn pulled your whole body into him. You suddenly found yourselves chest to chest, faces impossibly close.

His nose bumped yours, and normally you would back off, feeling awkward and embarrassed. But his eyes darted down to your lips, and back up to your eyes. Your lips were mere centimeters from his. You could feel his breath, warm and heavy, exhaling lightly onto your partially parted lips. His eyes traveled slowly back down to your lips, and you felt his sturdied arm relax. Your heart began to pound in your ears. You’ve never been this close to Sam before. His hand was still on yours, and without moving his face away, he turned your hand into his, and interlaced your fingers. You swallowed hard, tasting the essence of his tequila on your tongue.

“I don’t like pumpkin.” was all you could whisper before his lips were crashing onto yours in the most heated, yet cautious way. His lips were warm and soft, and he let out a small exhale through his nose at the contact. God, your stomach fell straight to the floor; he felt so sweet. You felt his body relax, and his fingers tighten around yours. After a few seconds of exhilaration, you parted, the both of you darting your eyes back and forth between each others. Each of you exploded into lighthearted and drunken giggles. He let your hand go, and you stood, taking all of him in with your eyes.

“I love pumpkin,” he said through a chuckle.

——

A ten minute walk down the sidewalk, and a short but exhausting trek down side streets found you and Sam approaching his front door. A little bungalow of a place tucked away from the main part of whatever neighborhood you were in. You were still sufficiently intoxicated, probably more so than you truly needed to be. But you were high on the night, on the festivities, and on Sam’s lips. You suddenly felt all your inhibitions melting into the ground below you.

“This is me,” he said, fumbling with the keys as he unlocked the door. When you got inside, he walked over to a tiny lamp and switched it on, sending a light orange glow into the small but spacious area. You kicked off your shoes and hung your jacket on a chair. You made your way to his couch. You plopped down and let it begin to relax you.

“Another drink, or some water?” He asked lovingly.

“How about both?” You replied.

“Excellent choice.” he smiled, disappearing to the kitchen.

He returned promptly with two glasses full of some type of iced amber liquid and two bottles of water.

“Cheers,” he mumbled quietly as he sat down next to you on the couch.

“Cheers, Sammy.” you smiled.

Your head was spinning. From the alcohol, from the kiss, from seeing Jake’s brand new face after so long of not seeing him every day.

The kiss. Your drunken state brought the memory of what happened just now at the bar, amplified, back to the forefront of your mind. You sipped from the glass, then chugged some water. For the second time tonight, you felt Sam’s eyes boring into the side of your face. You slowly turned to look at him. Your face went hot when you met his sultry gaze. Good god, he was so beautiful. Even more so, now, in his matured state and in this dim lighting. You felt your heart flutter.

“Yeeees?” You teased.

Sam rested his head on the back of the couch. His breath hitched. “I’m gonna ask you a question, Y/N. And I need you to answer honestly.”

That shouldn’t be too hard, as the alcohol had given you quite the air of confidence, suddenly at just the perfect spot of leaving you feeling like you had no filter.

He put his head down, and was toying with a frayed string on his shirt. “Did you- ever? Umm... Did you ever feel anything for-”

He was stumbling over his words. You raised your head to look at him with more attention, brows furrowing trying to show him that you were listening.

He huffed. “Did you ever love me, y/n?” Your name rolled off his tongue effortlessly, like he’d spoken it one million times, because in reality, he had.

Your eyes widened. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“I know you loved me, but... I felt so strongly for you for so many years, but I never had the guts to tell you. I was too-” he cut off his words again. You felt like you may pass out at his confession. He stared up at the ceiling, letting his words finally fall.

“You were my absolute best friend. Like, even more so than my brothers or Daniel. It was different with you. I could tell you anything and you’d never pick on me or judge me. I trusted you with my secrets. And I think you trusted me with yours.” he said.

He reached down to grab your hand once again, interlacing your fingers like you had at the bar. “I always thought, you know, one day I’ll do it, I’ll get the balls to tell her. Then- everything happened...” he stammered off, both of your brains revisiting a dark place that you’d had tucked away in the very deepest crevices of your brain.

He turned to look at you now.

“I think I always knew about you and Jake. Even before he told me. At the time, I don’t think I did. But looking back now, I think I knew it. In my bones, ya know? I just kept lying to myself because I always thought it’d be you and me in the end.”

You felt a tear fall directly from your eye and onto your chest. He gingerly brought his hand up to your face and wiped it away.

“After all this time, and even after Elle and our careers and everything getting busy and taking off..I think I realized that I’m not in love with you anymore. I finally feel…like I can break myself free of the chains you held me in for so many years.” He smiled, his words weren’t meant to hurt you, just let you know. “I think I finally fell away from you, y/n. And it feels…”

“It feels what, Sammy?” You asked through another tear.

He huffed again.

“Huh, I dunno. Liberating? If that’s the word.” He laughed a little. You couldn’t help but smile. You turned and wiped your tears away, letting out a choppy sigh.

“Dammit, Sam. You made me emotional.” you said, laughing at yourself. You rolled your head back again. You allowed a few moments to pass, silently.

“No.” You said, finally.

“No what?” he asks.

You paused, collecting your words. “I never loved you like that.”

Sam took a deep and quick breath through his teeth, readjusting himself on the couch. “I didn’t think so.”

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, taking turns sipping your drinks and exchanging looks.

“So, now that we’ve established that we aren’t in love with each other, want to talk about that sweet little kiss at the bar?” Sam said in his normal cheeky tone. You realized you were still holding hands. His thumb was lightly massaging the back of your hand. It felt like pure electricity.

“Honestly Sam, I don’t want to talk about it.” You answered. You took the last bit of your drink, and placed the glass on the coffee table. You took his drink from his hand, and placed it next to yours. You moved your body so that you were able to throw your leg over top of his, and bring yourself to carefully sit on his lap, facing him.

“I just…kind of want to kiss you again.” you said quietly in a questioning tone, watching his face closely to gauge his reaction. Of course, his eyes widened, and the look on his face was hilarious. Pure and utter surprise. His head lulled back against the couch, and once your words and action had settled in his mind, he put on that seductively shy smile.

“Do you, now? I thought we didn’t have feelings for each other?” he peeked at you through one eye, hands beginning to grip tightly on your thighs.

“We don’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t find you…attractive.” you twirled a piece of his hair between your fingers. The silky brown strands, thick and plush.

“I’ve always found you attractive, y/n. Caught my eye the first day I saw you.” His hands were squeezing harder now, moving slowly from your straddled knees up to your upper thighs.

“Gorgeous from the get go. All the guys in school fawning over you.” He continued intermittently squeezing the thickness of your thighs, eyes scanning over your whole body as if he was committing every inch to memory.

“Guys coming up to me to see if they could ask you out...as if I’d have any problem with it.” His thumbs had now inched impossibly close to your heat, gripping the fold where your legs met your hips. He dug the pads of his thumbs into your groin, eliciting the tiniest sound to escape your lips.

“Everyone wanted you...but you were mine…my best friend. I can’t tell you how many times I had to stop myself from sneaking you away into the basement…” his hands were still working your muscle at a sickening pace, thumbs rubbing small circles close, but not close enough.

“But I must say, when I saw you at the bar tonight…” his hands moved from your thighs to your ass, gently but tightly squeezing. “…I knew I wasn’t going to be able to take my eyes off of you for the rest of the night.” His voice had grown low and gravely. His normal frivolous attitude had shifted into something darker and more sinister, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t absolutely craving seeing more of this side of him.

“Of course I was always attracted to you too, Sam. I mean, God, look at you.” He shied away at your words, a rosy blush filling his cheeks. “Watching you play your guitar was always my favorite. Everyone knows you as the bass player, but I always knew you could do both. Talented at both.” You brought your forehead to rest on his.

“You fell into another world when you played. Played anything, really. So talented. I always caught myself having to drag my eyes away from your hands...” you found his hand and intertwined your fingers again. “Just because I didn’t have the same feelings for you then, doesn’t mean that I never wanted to…do this.” your voice trailed off, sticky and full of lust.

You brought your hands to his face, tracing his beautiful cheekbones with your thumbs. You weren’t sure what had come over you. Curiosity, mostly, and drunken and immense attraction to this man in front of you. Your mind flashed with every warning sign and inhibition it could to stop you from doing this- your friendship with Sam, everything with Andy, the fight, Jake….

You worked to ignore every single red flag your body was throwing at you, and to just go with what felt right right now.

And what felt right was kissing Sam again.

So you did.

This time, it was slow and mellow, testing the waters and seeing how he felt. You slowly moved your lips across his, sweetly taking your time and allowing for this strange adjustment. You pulled away to catch his eyes, and in seconds, he had his hands back on your waist, harshly pulling you closer toward him, and down onto his hardening length in his jeans.

Oh.

He found your lips again, and parted his slightly to allow you more access. You took the opportunity, and deepened the kiss, lightly flicking your tongue across his lips, testing the uncharted waters. He met your tongue with his, and damned if he didn’t taste sweet. Your hands found his hair, and tangled into the roots, which only spurred him on. Your brain was flipping and flying everywhere at once, but you liked it.

He tightened his grip on your waist again, and dug his thumbs into your sides, eliciting a sharp breath from you. You parted, meeting eyes. You both began to laugh, and again, you rested your forehead on his.

“This is...weird.” you said.

“Yep. Very weird.” He parroted back. Suddenly he was lifting you from his lap and laying you down on your back on the couch. He climbed to lay on top of you, and what began as innocent explorative kissing quickly shifted into a heated, frenzied makeout session. Your kisses became raw and wanting, you were both fighting for control as you let your instincts take over.

He was an excellent kisser, and you took advantage of that. All four hands were gripping and fighting and pulling, trying to find any kind of purchase that may assist in getting each other undressed. The sounds he was making were causing you to absolutely pool with desire for him. You were both panting and sweating at this point. Both of you unsure what step to take next. Cautious, flustered, embarrassed… But wholeheartedly comfortable and yearning for him. And him for you.

“Sam,” you asked.

“Y/N” he answered.

“Will you umm, take my shirt off?”

Without another word, he was lifting himself off of you and removing your shirt above your head. You realized he had never seen you in a bra before. His eyes were blown out with lust just from looking at you, and seeing him look at you that way ignited something in your chest.

You felt a strange and wanting passion burning, one that felt uninhibited and carnal. For Sam. With Sam. Your best friend. Why did all of this feel so good?

You decided to go with your gut. You were both consenting adults, just looking for a little fun. What did you have to lose?

SAM POV

Jesus Christ, what is happening right now? Am I dreaming?

She looked absolutely stunning in nothing but her bra. A pretty little maroon lace thing. You gave her a smile and a look of admiration, hoping that she didn’t feel any kind of shyness toward you.

You’ve wanted this for so long, so many years. You thought it was never going to happen. Especially after so much time being apart, but look where the universe has landed you.

“You’re really gorgeous, y/n. Seriously.” you implore.

You were returned a sweet smile. “Thank you, Sammy.”

Her smile made your heart melt. “Can I take yours off?”

“Mmhm, absolutely babe.” She sat up and grasped the shoulders of your tee shirt, pulling up and taking the shirt off. She let it fall to the floor. Her eyes raked over your torso, sparkling slightly in the moody light. Beautiful.

As you took in the sight of her upper half, you noticed something. Right on her ribs. A tattoo.

“What’s that? I never knew you had a tattoo..” you asked.

“Oh yeah...I got that a really long time ago. On a whim-” she tried to push the subject away.

“It’s a constellation, right? Stars…oh it’s the Little Dipper.” you eyebrows furled.

What? Where had you seen this before? Old images fluttered through your mind.

Shit…Jake’s guitar. His carvings.

You lifted your head to speak, to ask her if it was a tattoo for Jake. Did he have the same one? She cut you off before you could ask.

“It’s a long story...for another time, Sam.”

You decided to leave it at that.

She made her way on top of you again now, in the original straddled position. “Hm, you like it here, huh?” You joked, and began peppering her jawline with tiny kisses. She let her head fall back, giving you access to her neck, and you swore you could have taken her right then and there.

Her skin was so soft, and tasted so sweet. And the floral smell of her hair was making your head spin. She cawed a little bit at your touch, which enticed you to bring your hands, ever so carefully, to her breasts. You gave them a small squeeze, and bravely slipped your hands underneath the bra, gently massaging, keeping your mouth on her pressure points.

She inhaled sharply at the new sensation, and gave the prettiest little moan, spurring you on again. You found her nipples, and gently twisted them between your fingers. That, she loved.

“Shhhhit Sam,” she groaned, then backed away and looked directly into your eyes. In seconds her mouth was attached to yours, bringing back the intense kissing from moments ago. These kisses were deep, forceful, and intentional. Your tongues were wrestling, exploring each other’s mouths as your hands began to haphazardly grab anything and everything. You mewled into her mouth as she grabbed a fistful of hair on the back of your head, pulling it back to look at her as she craned over you. She grinded her hips down onto you again, making the need for her all the more difficult to bear. Both of you were insanely starved for one another.

You decided it was time to move. You couldn’t wait any longer, and you had barely done anything but land one foot on second base. You grabbed underneath her thighs, standing and lifting her with you. She giggled. You met eyes again, this time with a question written on your face. Her arms were wrapped around your neck, hands lightly massaging the back of your head.

“Can I take you in my room?” You asked, more confidently than you anticipated.

Her eyelids were half open, her hair a mess, anticipation dripping from her aura.

“Please,” was all she stated.

You walked her down the short hallway into the back bedroom; you were thankful it wasn’t too messy in there. Not like she would care anyway. She never did.

There was only the significantly bright moonlight coming through the windows, and you decided to not turn on the lamp. The pale blue light was already illuminating her skin in the most beautiful way. You gently set her down on the bed, never breaking from her kiss. She began to scoot herself backwards up the bed, you crawling overtop of her, following her lead. When she found herself in a position she was satisfied with, she settled a little bit and broke away.

“Can we get under the covers?” She asked. You smiled knowing you’d give her anything in the world right now.

“Sure, we can,” you replied. “Are you cold?”

“Kinda, just want to feel comfy.” She responded breathlessly. You stood from the bed and reached under her to pull the comforter down. Before crawling underneath, she made a show of unbuttoning her jeans, and pulling them and her panties all the way off. Good god.

You followed suit, undoing your belt and letting your pants and underwear hit the floor. You crawled in next to her, heart pounding, mouth dry, and skin absolutely on fire with want for her. Condom? Yes, in the drawer. Got it.

For a minute, the two of you laid in complete darkness save for the blue light barely tinting the room. Your faces were close, your breathing steady but labored from the intensity of the past half hour. You couldn’t quite see her face in the darkness, but somehow, it made it all the more alluring. Maybe it was better to have one of your senses muddled, it would also help with the anxiety you felt rushing through your bloodstream. I can’t believe this is actually happening. You ran your fingers lightly over her arm, down her side and back up to her face, bringing a sense of intimacy back after the shift.

“You okay with doing this?” She asked shyly.

“I’m absolutely okay with doing this.” You maneuvered to roll her to her back, resting on your elbows on either side of her head, face to face.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, y/n, but my feelings for you have drifted. They’re almost gone, actually...please don’t take that as anything malicious. I’m still very much in love with the person that you are. You’re one of the most important people in my life, even if the last time we saw each other we left on a…less than high note.” You breathed, long and heavy. “Life’s short, I don’t have any ill feelings toward you. The past is in the past. You’re one of the only people I’ve ever had in my life that I’m completely comfortable with. And to be completely honest, I’ve felt very comfortable learning about you in…this...way…so far…so if you’re okay with it, I’d really like to fuck you senseless.”

She burst out with laughter, covering her face through deep belly laughs. “God, I missed your dumb ass.” She playfully slapped you across the arm. “I feel the same, Sammy. This doesn’t have to be that serious. Just two friends making each other feel good.”

“Exactly.” And you meant it. The only feelings you felt for her right now were lust. Respectful, platonic, gorgeous lust.

“Alright then, come fuck me senseless Sammy.”

You laughed as you dipped down, laying a hot, wet kiss right between her breasts. You landed a few more right beneath the swells, unintentionally finding a sensitive spot. Her back arched.

“Mmm...I plan on it, babe. But first…”

You then drug your tongue right down the center of her chest and stomach, tracing her sternum down to between her hips.

She hummed with surprised anticipation, instinctively running her hands through your hair to pull the strands back that had fallen from the hair tie.

You slowly began to run your tongue along the outsides of her lips, teasing her. She groaned a sound that you didn’t recognize.

“Too personal?” you asked, half joking, half truly wanting permission.

“You really think I’m going to turn this down, Sam?” She responded, giving you the go ahead.

With that, you dipped your tongue languidly straight from her opening to the top, stopping at her clit and running circles over it with slow, intentional waves.

Her body language let you know she was okay with it, as she immediately had a tighter grip on your hair. You began to go to work after that. She tasted like heaven. Just how you’d always imagined. But you’d never tell her that.

You switched between quick and sharp movements to slow, calculated swirls, paying special attention to her reactions and banking them away in your memory. She was writhing, legs falling open as wide as they could only to close again and squeeze around your head. You brought a hand up to tease at her entrance, not entering all the way so as to add to her anticipation.

Her body was shaking and spasming as you felt like you were bringing her closer to the edge. You moved your eyes to look up at her, and she met your gaze. Fucking beautiful. She smiled deviously again, mouth cocked open in pleasure. She gave one last final tug on your hair before she toppled over the edge, her body quivering and vibrating through the orgasm.

You sat up, her hand meeting your mouth to wipe off her wetness.

“Jesus Christ Sam. Tell me again why you never snuck me away to the basement?” She said through pants of exasperated breaths.

You met again in a heated kiss, her pulling you into her by your hair, neck, shoulders…anything she could get ahold of to close the gap between you.

You felt her reach between you and take your length in her hand. She wasted no time in letting you know what she wanted, the strokes of her hand rough and depraved.

“Wait,” you said.

You reached into your bedside table and tore a condom off the long strip, opened its contents and removed it.

“Look at you being responsible...” She giggled as you slid it over yourself.

“Hey, I haven’t talked to you in years, I’m not trying to jeopardize my future love life because of silly old you.” You knew that would get under her skin.

“You asshole!” She punched your shoulder. “I’m clean and healthy, I’ll have you know. I’m the one that should be worried, Mr. ‘We’ve traveled the world and won a Grammy' blah blah bla-"

You quickly placed your free hand over her mouth, effectively muffling her words.

“Shhhhhh, I’m trying to fuck you senseless.” you tease.

No sooner than you had finished your sentence, she bit hard into your hand, pulling your middle finger into her mouth. Her tongue was rolling and nibbling and sucking, it sent a chill down your spine and all the blood rushed straight to your dick. She might kill you tonight.

That was enough to send you over the edge, no more fucking around. You rolled your body on top of her, and pulled your knee up to spread her legs. Your finger was still in her mouth, and your hand was covering it.

“Y/N, are you… a brat?” You grabbed your length in your other hand, and began teasing at her entrance, eliciting a little moan from her. She arched her back into you, looking for more.

She shook her head side to side, “huh uh” she spoke through your hand, smiling giddily. Then she pulled your finger into her mouth impossibly deep, you could feel the back of her tongue on your fingertip. She swallowed. God, your head was spinning like a top.

“Hmm really?” you growled, bringing your mouth to her ear. “Because it seems like you might be.” On your last word, you pressed your dick into her, filling her to the hilt. You left your hand across her mouth, forcing her to stay quiet. Her eyes shot closed at the feeling of you filling her.

You stayed still, taunting her, letting her get used to the feeling. When in all reality, you were taking the moment in. You wanted to savor it, feel it completely. You wished you could take the condom off, feel her completely and wholly. She felt so warm and so tight, you could only imagine what she felt like skin to skin.

She spit your finger from her mouth. “What happened to the senseless part, Sam?”

You took that as an invitation to go ahead. You began slow thrusts, so as not to move things along too quickly. Immediately she was writhing beneath you, hands moving up and down your back and into your hair. You did your best to find a rhythm, but she was making things impossibly difficult with her reactions. Shit. She felt amazing.

You began to pick up the pace a little, grabbing her leg and bending it to wrap around your waist. Apparently, that was the right spot. Your moves were sensual. Senseless, but sensual. You let your head fall to her ear, biting the lobe and running your tongue behind it.

“Fuuuuck yes, Sam,” she spat out breathlessly. You were beginning to lose composure, but were far from being finished with her. Her sounds alone could send you into a frenzy at this point. She began to whine a little as you blew cold air onto the places your tongue had left.

You sat up, grabbed her hips and propped yourself up on one knee, towering above her. This new angle was stellar, you had a full view, though dark and still slightly under the covers, of what was happening. You watched yourself slide in and out of her, and began to slow your pace.

“Take it off, Sam.” she said in a demanding tone.

“What?” You breathed.

“Take the condom off.”

You fumbled your words. “Sh-really? Are you sure? I was just joking earlier, I’m clea-"

“Sam, I trust you more than I trust anyone in my life. Take it off.” she pleaded.

Who were you to deny her that? You removed yourself from her, and the two of you worked together to slide it off.

The air had changed just a little. You peered down to her blissed-out face. “I wanna feel you.” she whispered.

The rush of blood to all your extremities was enough to knock you over. She had no idea what she was doing to you. Her natural confidence was newfounded, she always had it but, damn. This was something else.

She pushed you backwards, and switched your places. You found yourself underneath her again. You immediately reached for her warmth, wanting to touch her. You found her clit, and began making small swirls over top of it. You reached down a bit further, and gathered up her wetness, bringing it to make everything impossibly slick. She tilted her head back in a moan.

“God, babe. You’re so wet. Is that all for me?” You asked in a teasing tone.

“No idiot, it’s for me,” she playfully rolled her eyes as you laughed.

“Touché.” You walked right into that one.

You quickened your swirls with your thumb, and added a finger inside her.

“Shitttt Sam, really?” You began pumping your finger in and out while continuing your assault on her clit. After a few seconds of undoing her, she grabbed your hand and pulled it away, then lifted herself to let you enter her again. The raw contact had the two of you falling onto one another, bodies instantly turning into puddles as she slowly sat all the way down, and bottomed out.

“Jesus Christ, y/n….ffffuck meee, you feel so-” you could do nothing else but sit up slightly, finding her lips again and bringing her to a deep and sensual kiss. All the while moaning hard into her mouth. There were no words to describe how good she felt. Velvety smooth on you.

She began bouncing slowly up and down, almost breaking contact completely before setting herself back down again. Her hands were on your pecs, squeezing and kneading them as her head rolled from side to side with pleasure overcoming her face. She was absolutely stunning.

You reached up to grab a fistful of her hair, you wrapped it all around your hand tightly and pulled hard, bringing her face close to yours. Your foreheads rested on each other as she continued riding her way into oblivion. Both covered in a sheen of sweat, you found yourselves enraptured in pure ecstasy.

The eye contact, the hitched breaths, the quick and deep kisses…you should have been doing this a long long time ago. Her sounds were becoming more and more strangled, like she was going to tumble over the edge at any minute. You began lightly rubbing her back, and she sat back up, stopping the bounce, now simply grinding in circles.

“You’re so fuckin beautiful, y/n.” She smiled deviously, and you reached up a hand to her throat, squeezing gently. “That ok?” You asked.

“Fuck yeah, it’s okay,” she replied.

Yep. She’s going to kill you tonight.

You felt yourself twitching inside her, and you knew it wouldn’t be long. Luckily, you could tell she was beginning to come apart herself. You reached for her clit again with your free hand, letting her take the reigns while she held onto you for dear life.

The sounds she was making were nearly pornographic; you were glad you didn’t live in an apartment. She reached a hand up to grasp the wrist of your hand on her throat, squeezing it tightly, signaling you to do the same and you obliged. Suddenly she was collapsing and falling apart, soaking you in the process. You watched as she rode herself through it, pupils blown out and face beautifully contorted. She smiled when she came back to.

“God damn I wish you could see yourself…” you trailed off again. She began bouncing harder now, quickly bringing you to the brink.

“Where do you…I’m-” she quickly hopped off of you, squatted down, and took your length in her mouth, pumping with her hands and mouth. That was all it took…you exploded into a million pieces, sending your streams into her mouth. She squeezed your thighs on the come down, and left no mess behind.

Once you landed back on earth, she removed her mouth, and chuckled. You were left breathless, wordless, mindless- everything was gone from your brain.

“Are you fucking serious, y/n?” you said through labored breaths. “I think that was the hottest- you’re literally-” you stammer. You couldn’t even form sentences. You covered your face in disbelief as she climbed up to lay next to you.

You could do nothing else but pull her into a tight squeeze. “Where have you been all my life?” You ask through an expectant smile.

She lifted her head and looked at you sarcastically.

“Oh yeah, up my brother’s ass.” You replied, just waiting for her next playful blow to your shoulder.

SMACK.

“There it is. I’m sorry. I deserved that one.” you said, massaging your collarbone.

“Don’t be a dick Sam, that’s a touchy subject.” she scoffed.

You sighed. “I know it is, I won’t pick on you anymore, college girl.” you tease again.

That one landed you a pillow to the face.

“Sam, I’m serious. Quit while you’re ahead.” she warned.

“Ok, ok sheesh.” You paused and pulled her in closer, softly kissing her lips. “I am ahead, aren’t I?”

You decided to not delve anymore, ruin a good feeling. You let yourself drift off to sleep, curled up to the once love of your life, who surprisingly, at this point, no longer held you completely captive. For some reason, even after all of tonight’s events, your heart didn’t beat the same for her anymore.

——

You woke up the next morning tangled in your sheets, but no longer tangled up with her. She had found her spot on the other side of your king bed, perfectly comfortable in her own space. Your head pounded a little from the dehydration setting in.

The sound of crunching gravel had you snapping your head towards the window as you heard a car pulling up, stopping in front of the house. You rubbed your eyes and hopped over to the window, peeking out the blinds. Shit. Jake. You’d forgotten he was bringing a portfolio of paperwork over for you to sign off on for the label. You shook her awake.

“Hey, y/n, wake up, hey!” Her eyes opened one at a time as she craned her neck to look at you.

“Listen, Jake just pulled up, don’t go anywhere.” She shot up out of the bed, and at the same time, you both realized you were still completely nude.

“SHIT!” You both chimed, clobbering over the bed trying to find clothes to dress yourselves.

She was pulling a pair of your sweatpants on and you were pulling your shirt over your head as you heard the front door open. You forgot he had a key.

“Sammy boyyyy! Awakennn!” you heard Jake beckon from the front door. You motioned to her to be quiet with a finger over your lips as you walked out, closing the door behind you.

“Good morning brother. You’re awfully chipper for it to be this early,” you said through a yawn, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. You walked over to start a pot of coffee.

“And you’re awfully fully dressed to have had what looks to be a rendezvous last night, hm?” he quipped back.

Fuck. That was fast.

You turned around slowly to see her green coat hanging from his finger. He looked around, noticing her boots on the floor, and her purse hanging on the back of the chair. You had no words.

“Didn’t bother to take her home after getting into some trouble last night? Or was the trouble you got into here?” he scoffs.

His voice was deeply quiet, but not mad. He seemed to just want you to explain.

Just then, you heard your bedroom door close. And here she came, waltzing through your home like she owned the place, donned in your tshirt and sweatpants. Oh hell.

“Good morning, sunshines! How is everyone this morning?” she asked, like absolutely nothing in the world could faze her. Jake was taken by surprise, you noticed his body language instantly turn from confrontational to timid.

“Jake…hey. It’s really good to see you.” She sweetly walked over to him, and took him in a completely professional hug. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk much last night, Sam and I got caught up in some nostalgic conversation.”

He was still holding her jacket. Neither of you spoke a word, but instead just stood, too stunned to reply.

After the longest pause, Jake finally spoke. “Uh yeah, hey y/n.. it’s good to see you too. It’s been..umm..a while.” You could tell by his tone that though he was trying to be cordial, he was dying to have his own nostalgic conversation with her.

“It has.” she replied, crossing her arms. The three of you stood in awkward silence for a few beats.

“Hey Sam, um, I’ve gotta be at work in a bit, could you run me home?” she asked.

“Yeah, yep. I can do that.” You said, rushing around and looking for your keys.

“Thanks.” She started walking back toward your room to gather her things. “Jake, see ya around.” And she was out of sight.

You felt the weight of the world crashing down on you from just one look from your brother. He stared at you silently seething before he finally spoke, “Just sign the fucking papers and take them back to Josh.” He tossed her jacket across the table, and left your house without another word.

——

“Do you have any regrets?” You asked her as the two of you sat cross-legged on the end of your bed.

She took a deep cleansing breath, and shook her head.

“No. I really don’t.” You felt relief completely wash over your body, as you were scared that in your drunken state last night, you may have made the wrong decisions.

“Do you?” She side-glanced to you, afraid of the answer you were going to give.

You mirrored her action. “Nope.”

“Still don’t have any feelings for me anymore?” She pressed.

You let this one sit with you for a second. “Honestly, I don’t think I do, y/n, as strange as that sounds.” She agreed with a nod. “But I had a really good time last night. Like a really good time.”

She smiled. “I did too. Who would have thought that sleeping with your best friend actually wouldn’t be weird?” The two of you sat in relieved silence. “I’m glad we can be honest with each other again. I missed that.” she said sweetly. “I missed you.”

Three years ago, those words would have made your life turn upside down and fall into a frenzy, but, her words didn’t sting. They didn’t make your stomach do flips. Instead, they gave you a strange sense of comfort and sentimentality. A sense of familiarity.

She was so endearing, enrapturing. You still felt a draw to her, something deep and archaic, that you couldn’t explain. You suddenly felt an innate pull to chase that feeling again and again, not having any idea where it might land you. And also not caring where it did.

JAKE POV

You flung the door to your Jeep open, and hopped inside, slamming the door shut behind you. You were seething with anger. Anger and betrayal and disappointment. You gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, and felt a sharp pain radiate through your right hand. The lasting effects of your fractured hand still hanging around even after all this time. You scoffed at the irony. Her, still tying you to some of the worst pain you’ve ever experienced in your life.

You thought you were free of it. Did you miss her? Of course. Things were left on terms that weren’t great. But the phone worked both ways. She didn’t try. She faded away so quickly.

You thought you’d proven yourself time and time again of wanting to be with her, and only her. But it wasn’t good enough. She had her reasons, and they made sense from the outside looking in. But not to you. Not for you.

She was gone. And you thought it was for good this time. You’d finally found separation and ripped the band aid off. You found what felt like happiness again, in Sophia. And now, here she was again, crashing into your new life like a freight train. Into Sam’s life. And apparently into his bed.

You were speeding down the highway, eyes crossing at the feeling of betrayal from your brother. How could he do this? But more importantly, why were you so affected?

——

A few hours later, you pulled into the parking lot of the practice studio in a cloud of dust from the gravel. You put it in park, and removed your sunglasses. You saw stars. Maybe you shouldn’t have had that last drink. You flipped down the visor and checked your appearance. Eyes bloodshot, cheeks red. Perfect. You popped a piece of gum into your mouth, and replaced the sunglasses. You were the last one to arrive, as usual.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling and calling. And I thought I was the one always late.” Josh spat as soon as you opened the front door. “God, you reek of bourbon. You idiot, are you drunk?”

You straightened up, and leaned in closely to your twin. “Please. Stop. Talking.” you all but slurred. He held his hands up in surrender.

“As long as you can fucking play... I can’t believe you drove like this. Stupid, really.” He spoke as he turned and walked toward the booth.

You joined everyone after taking your guitar from the case and plugging it in.

“Jacob.” Sam said in a blank tone.

“Samuel.” you answered short and clipped. You cleared your throat. “Alright. Let’s get going.”

The tension was thick. The air was heavy. You felt flush, and you were starving. A headache had begun to creep its way into your forehead. You made it through the first few songs without too much trouble, thanking your muscle memory for doing its job while you struggled to even see straight. As time went on, though, you began to struggle a bit.

“Christ Jake, I can’t catch your cues if you don’t play them!” Josh yelled. “We’ve got to get this shit tight.”

“Just do it again.” You spoke.

You heard a collective scoff come from Danny and Sam. You turned to see them rolling their eyes in aggravation.

“Do either of you have something to say? Because I’d like to hear it if so.” You raised your voice, pushing the guitar to hang around your back.

“You sound like shit, Jake! Just get it together so we can wrap this up.” Sam answered in his whiny youngest sibling tone. It struck a nerve.

“Wrap it up? You heard Josh, we’ve got to get this tight. We aren’t going anywhere until we hit it. Besides, where the fuck do you want to go in such a hurry, hm?” You felt heat rising in your face. You knew exactly where he was going.

“You’re the one who keeps fucking up! We all sound fine. Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to the bar at 2 pm.” The last bit of his sentence trailed off under his breath.

“Son of a bitch, here we go,” you heard Danny mumble, setting his sticks on the drumhead.

“For your information, Samuel, it’s none of your business what I do with my free time. So I’d shut it before you really piss me off.” You swung your guitar back around to the front.

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of all of our business what you do in your free time, seeing as how it might constitute you coming to practice fully fucking drunk and unable to play the simplest of chord progressions...” he spat as you cut him off.

“OK Sam. Since we should know everything about each other at all times, why don’t you tell the family what you were doing last night, then? And this morning? Come on, we need details… No secrets anymore.” Your words were flying now, rage filling you to the brim. You held your fingers against your lips, eyes meeting Sam’s and sincerely waiting to hear what kind of reply he had.

Josh and Danny waited in anticipation, all eyes on Sam. You felt the alcohol still pulsing through your veins, vision still blurred.

He cleared his throat.

“Alright, fine. I was with y/n. We went out. Got drunk. And she came back to my house.” He stopped there. It was silent for a few beats.

You felt absolutely defeated. Heartbroken. Truly let down, and the tone of your voice matched it.

“Sam, did you sleep with her? Did you sleep with my girl?” You felt your lip quiver just a little, succumbing to the encompassing blur that the emotions and whiskey had left you in.

He looked behind you, then met your eyes. He bit the inside of his cheek, and nodded slowly.

There was no way to describe the feeling that overtook you. The only way to explain it was just plain sickness. Not madness. Not fury.

You turned around to face away from everyone as you collected your thoughts. The silence that fell on the room was deafening. You quickly pulled the plug on your guitar, tossing the cord to the floor.

“Let’s just... Meet back up tomorrow morning. It seems like we all might need some time.” Josh thankfully spoke up. “Jake, I'm driving you. Let’s go.”

——

Josh didn’t say much on the drive, and you were a bit relieved. You needed a second to just sit and stare at nothing. Your head was still spinning and all you could do was lean it against the headrest and close your eyes. After a few minutes of Josh’s reckless driving, he slammed a water bottle to your chest.

“Chug it, asshole. We’re here.” You slumped down in your seat, feeling like the world had dropped all around you. You unbuckled your seatbelt and slowly trudged your way up the walkway, following far behind Josh who was waiting at the door.

When you made it inside, you immediately went to the fridge and pulled out yesterday’s leftovers. Not even bothering to heat them, you dug in.

“Jesus, you are fucked up,” Josh said, taking a seat at the island.

“I haven’t eaten in 20 hours.” you said, monotone.

“She’s really got you in your feelings again, doesn’t she? I thought we were past this.” Josh said, crossing his arms. “Lay it out for me, brother. I’m here to listen. Tell me what’s going on so I can try to help before the band implodes.”

You took a deep breath, throwing the to-go box in the trash and screwing the top off the water bottle. “I don’t want to. You can just go home. Thank you for the ride, though.” you muttered, walking into the living room to hopefully pass out on the couch until tomorrow.

“Oh no you don’t.” you could hear Josh’s footsteps behind you. You felt slightly aggravated, and the headache was getting worse.

“Josh, you saw what happened at the studio! It should be self explanatory! Do I need to recount every fuckin detail?” You raised your voice to him.

“Have you talked to Sam about it? Or did you just assume their situation?” He asked. The question actually stunned you.

“What do you mean assume their situation? He told me! He told all of us!” Your arms were raising with your voice now.

Josh kept his calm and collected, as always. “Yeah, but have you talked to her?” He asked again, with no emotion in his voice.

“When the fuck would I have had time to talk to her? I just saw her for the first time since they left the bar last night. All cuddled up in conversation over there, didn’t even bother to say hello.” you were rambling now. Placing blame where it didn’t need to be placed out of resentment.

Josh just sat with his arms crossed raising a brow in question.

“Why didn’t you go say hello? Like the rest of us did? Just because Sophia was there? You and y/n aren’t together anymore. It’s been years. It would have been perfectly okay for you to go and catch up with an old friend.” He said matter-of-factly. “But you just sat there, and kept to yourself. Kind of rude, honestly.”

You let out an exasperated sigh and fell harder into the couch, laying out with your legs outstretched.

“No, it wouldn’t have been okay, Josh. It wouldn’t have been perfectly okay and you know that.” You covered your eyes with your hand. “Shit will never be perfectly okay between me and her. It’s like the universe just fucks us over any chance it gets. I thought I was free of it, moving here. Finding Sophia. But everytime she comes around again it’s like my whole world turns itself upside down. Why can’t I just move on?” you plead.

You felt yourself spilling your feelings to your brother. Thanks a lot, Bourbon.

“And now we see her for the first time in fuckin years, and she hooks up with Sam? Are you fuckin kidding me?! She completely forgot about everything we went through together? Everything I said and did…she just disappeared. After I tried so damn hard for us.”

Josh sat stoic, milling over your words. He knew something you didn’t.

“Just let it be, brother. You have a serious girlfriend now. They’re adults. We’re all adults. Not much you can change in this situation.” Josh had a look on his face that you knew too well.

You sat up quickly, “You talked to her, didn’t you? Before we got to the bar. What did she say?” You pressed.

He stood up grabbing his keys, “She said exactly what you think she said, Jake. Now go to sleep. You look like hell.” And with that, he left the house.

‘She said exactly what you think she said.’

Coming from someone who shares your brain cells, you knew what he was implying.

Maybe she does still feel the same.

HER POV

“Thanks for the ride, Sammy. I’ll talk to you later?” You asked, hopping out of Sam’s car.

“Yeah, see you this weekend!” he says, putting the car into drive and pulling away.

You walked upstairs to your apartment door, and let yourself in. You plopped down your bed, mind absolutely racing with the past day’s occurrences.

Excitement from seeing Josh and everyone again for the first time in years, in your new city.

Giddiness and some confusion from the whirlwind of sleeping with Sam.

And pure anxiety from simply being in the same building as Jake. And his new girlfriend. You still held resentment toward him, and the way things were left between you. The way he never reached out again. The way he let you slip through his fingers so easily.

You let your mind trip and stumble over every detail, while watching your ceiling fan spin slowly above you. You tried to keep your eyes locked on one fan blade while it spun, following it around in circles for it to only make your eyes dizzy and lose track of it. It was funny, the metaphor that wrote itself in your mind. You did nothing but chase Jake around in circles for years, only to lose track of him time and time again.

Fate was funny. And you didn’t understand why your mind was so heavy on him after having a very satisfying go-around with his brother last night. You covered your face with your hands.

FUCK.

You SLEPT with Sam! Moreover, you essentially initiated it! You felt embarrassed and ashamed, the normal guilt that always follows a one-night stand. What the hell were you thinking last night? You didn’t have feelings for Sam like that. You never have.

But you let him know that. And he understood. The feeling, or lack thereof, was mutual. You took a deep breath, and tried to talk yourself through the mantra of “Sex is okay between friends. Consenting adults. It doesn’t have to have meaning. It’s a natural, carnal, physical need.”

You laughed at yourself, raising your eyebrows.

It was an excellent lay.

And you’d be lying to yourself if you said you wouldn’t be willing to hook up with him again. Visions of his face and his body and his hands on you replayed in your mind’s eye. Purely physical. Pure lust. Mirrored bodies that already understood each other so well, the physical touch was just an extension of it.

But it wasn’t Jake. Nothing has ever been like Jake. Before or after. After Andy, Jake let you know what it felt like to make love, not just have sex. He cared about his every movement, every touch, intentional. You’ve never felt a connection like that with anyone ever before. You had a hunger for him that was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Insatiable and honest, no barriers or boundaries, and the feeling of complete and utter love.

But you knew you’d never get that feeling back. You’d only be chasing it around in circles for the rest of forever, slipping up and losing track of him over and over.

You sat up and attempted to clear your head. Sam had invited you to a party this weekend, and it was already Thursday. You only questioned going for a split second, until Sam’s begging puppy dog eyes wrapped you into saying yes. You had always had a hard time denying those eyes.

Maybe you’d end up back at home that night. But, more than likely, you wouldn't.

You knew it would be Sam’s bed you’d wake up in, and furthermore, you’d like it.

Outtake: Plan A

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zivakrealtygroup · 6 months

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moving-company-nashville · 6 months

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1stclassmoving · 8 months

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Moving Tips for a Smooth Relocation in Nashville

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louisupdates · 6 months

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The Habit He Can’t Break 3/4

IQ 123 | Gordon Masson | 9.11.2023

We Made It

Making sure that the Faith in the Future tour delivers Tomlinson to his growing legion of fans, PM Sherwood’s first long association with the artist manager, Vines made him the obvious choice when the artist first began his solo career.

“I remember doing a lot of promo dates around the UK and US before we started touring properly,” says Sherwood of his work with Tomlinson. “In fact, one of the first shows I remember doing with Louis was in Madrid when he played in a stadium, and I could see it was a taste of things to come.”

The partnership between Sherwood and Vines is crucial.

“In terms of the show growing, our biggest challenge is keeping costs down, because we’re extremely cautious on ticket pricing,” says Vines. “We don’t do dynamic pricing, we don’t do platinum ticketing, we don’t do paid VIPs, we don’t increase ticket prices on aisle seats – all those tricks that everyone does that most fans don’t know about: we don’t do any of those.”

“So, when it comes to the production side of things, we need to be incredibly careful. But I’ve been working with Craig for a decade, and he knows the importance of trying to keep costs as low as possible. For instance, we’ll run the show virtually a number of times, so Louis can watch it with the show designer, Tom Taylor, make comments and tweak things. Then we’ll go into pre-production. But we try to do as much in virtual reality as possible before we take it into the physical world.”

Sherwood states, “Basically we started out with two or three trucks, but now we’re up to nine, and things seem to be getting bigger day by day.”

Thankfully, Sherwood has amassed a vastly experienced crew over the years, allowing them to handle even the most unexpected scenarios. “I’ve been touring since the dawn of time, but the core crew I work with now has been together since about 2010, and I trust them implicitly, so I’ll leave it up to them who they hire, as long as they think I’m going to like them, and they all get along with everyone. So far, it has worked well,” Sherwood reports.

And the veteran crew has dealt with some terrifying weather extremes on the current tour, including a show at Red Rocks in Colorado, where the audience were subjected to a freak, storm with golf ball-sized hail stones injuring dozens of people.

Elsewhere, the crew has had to act quickly when the threat of high winds in Nashville caused problems on that outdoor run. “We didn’t want the video screens blowing about above the heads of the band, so it must have been amusing for the audience to see us taking them down,” Sherwood reports.

Indoors in Europe, the environment has been more controllable. The production itself involves an A-stage set 180° across the barricades, although Sherwood says that on occasion, a catwalk is also used by the perimeters.

“It’s a great lighting show and fantastic for audio, as we have phenomenal front-of-house sound engineer – John Delf, from Edge Studios – who makes life very easy for the rest of us,” says Sherwood. He also namechecks Barrie Pitt (monitor engineer), Oli Crump (audio system designer), Tom Taylor (lighting designer), Sam Kenyon (lighting technical director), and Torin Arnold (stage manager), while he praises Solo-Tech for supplying the sound, and Colour Sound Experiment (CSF) for taking charge of lighting, video, and rigging equipment.

Indeed CSE has 10 personnel out with the Faith in the Future tour. “We have eight screens on the road – six on stage plus two IMAGS that we use wherever appropriate, the company’s Haydn Cruikshank tells IQ.

“We need to tweak the rigging on a daily basis, as we move to different venues, but other than that, it’s a fairly smooth process thanks to Craig Sherwood. He is old school and planned and worked on the production very far in advance, which is a great scenario for all involved. Craig is definitely one of our favorite production managers to work with.”

Garry Lewis at bussing contractors Beat The Street is also a fan of PM Sherwood.

“Craig split the European tour into different runs. So, from Hamburg to Zürich, we had two super high decker 12-berth buses for the tour party and two 16-berth double-deckers for the crew,” says Lewis. “After the show in Athens, we still have the two super high-deckers, as Louis knew them – he prefers to spend time on the bus, rather than in hotels – but we also have two 12-berth super high-deckers for the crew, as well as another crew 16-berth double-decker.”

Lewis continues, “We’ve worked with Craig for a good few years, and we have a great relationship with him. He plans everything way in advance, so it means it’s all very straightforward for us with no issues. So, we use single drivers for each bus, except on the longer runs, or when our drivers are scheduled for prolong breaks, and then we’ll fly an extra drivers as needed.”

1/4, 2/4, 4/4

#iq magazine #louis tomlinson #9.11.2023 #louis press

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sacredbbl · 2 months

Text

Love At First Gig

Josh Kiszka X Y/N

TW: oral, sexual intercourse, sub , Alcohol, Marijuana

Love at First Gig

Chapter 1

Y/N POV

You watch the clock as it hits 4:30. Procrastinating the reports that you have to get done by Monday. Tapping your fingers to your desk you think about how the last month has been.

Moving to a new city is hard not to mention breaking up with your fiancé in the middle of the process. You always had a hard time with confrontation ; so when you found out that Derek had a whole other family that you didn’t know about.

You decided to start a whole new life . Leaving the engagement ring on the counter you moved all your possessions into your car and left. You were able to transfer to another branch of the company. You felt that Nashville would be different.

So within a week you drove all the way from Massachusetts to Nashville, Tennessee, found an apartment that was perfect for you and started your first week at a new branch.

Suddenly you heard a voice speak to you from the cubicle next to you. You didn’t need to look up to know it was Priyanka. She was the first person to speak to you when you started. Well one of the only people who are nice to you in this office.

“Hey Y/N , I know you are new to Nashville, Do you want to come with Kyle and I to a local bands gig tonight? They are really good!” She asks

Just as you were about to answer Kyle popped up from the other cubicle.

“Yeah the lead singer is wicked hot.” He chuckles.

You were super happy you met Kyle. He understood your sense of humor since he was also from Massachusetts.

“I mean it wouldn't hurt to have a rebound hookup, “ Priyanka suggested with a wink.

They knew what happened to get you to move here.Both Priyanka and Kyle had become your friends within the last week.

“I don’t know about a rebound but I could use a little fun!”

“Awesome, meet at my apartment at eight! Ill send you the address!” Priyanka whispered as your boss Charlie strolled past your cubicle. Suddenly, you were looking forward to tonight .

You looked at your monitor and noticed it was already five. You packed your belongings in your backpack and headed towards the busy street. As you walked into the warm Nashville breeze you put your headphones on and turned on your playlist.

You quickly made it to your apartment building; going up the elevator and walking into your apartment. You threw your backpack on the floor near the door and made your way to the bedroom making your way through the maze of boxes all around the floor. You stopped at the box labeled tops, you knew exactly which one you wanted to wear to the bar tonight.

You dug through the box until you found the black lacy corset top. You paired it with a pair of black boyfriend jeans and a belt. By the time you finish your makeup and hair it is already 7:30.

Shit I am going to be late you thought as you pulled up your phone and ordered an Uber. Taking a deep breath and a hit of your pen you walked down to the street to wait for your Uber.

Josh POV

You wake up with a pounding headache as your usual hangover kicks in.Going into the kitchen you find your old reliable, aspirin. You opened your aspirin bottle and took a few with a swig of tequila. Jake’s voice cut through the grogginess of your brain.

“Hair of the dog ,right brother?” He chuckled.

You would not say you were an alcoholic but it definitely helped you live with your choice of skipping college to make it big with your band.

Except you didn’t make it big you played the same three bars every week. You’d thought you'd have taken off by now but you were still struggling to make rent and eat.

Today was Friday, you would play a gig at Murphy's bar just like you have done a thousand times. Talk to the same thirty people , get drunk and do it all over again on Saturday. You looked at your apartment and wondered how you got to this point in your life.

You shared a tiny one room apartment with the three other members of the band. You and Jake slept in one room , Danny slept in the huge walk in closet and Sammy slept on an old mattress in the kitchen. It wasn’t much but it was better than being on the street.

Finally arriving to the show, you greeted the usuals - the men who sat in the corner, the women who sat by the windows, the teenagers who had managed to make their way in with a fake ID.

You watched Jake set up his guitar, tuning it as he always did. It was going to be another long night.

As the lights dimmed slightly, you began, the same routine as always. You drew your eyes through the crowd, playing the same old songs you always did. By now, the regulars had learned the words, singing along with you.

One day it’ll be a stadium, one day it’ll be people you don’t recognise, one day it’ll be people who come out just for you, and not to just have a drink.

You watched your brothers as they played, engrossed in the music. Perhaps they didn’t care as much as you did, maybe they weren’t as concerned with making it big. Regardless of the size of the venue, you still gave it your all, wrapping your fingers around the microphone as you made

your way across the stage.

It was then that you saw her.

Someone new. A whole group of new people.

It instilled a new motivation in you, these were people that you knew you could draw in, people that you could have coming back for more.

And so, you found yourself giving it everything that you had, watching them intently.

“She is a lady, comes from all around

So many places, but she’s homeward bound.

And now she walks kinda funny

I think she knows

Day by day by day

Our love grows

She’s a lantern in the night

She’s out of sight”

You seemed to catch her attention with that one, with the group making their way to table not far from the stage.

As they ordered their drinks, you noticed her looking up at you, her eyes falling downward when you met her gaze. You couldn’t help the gentle smirk that crossed your lips - Gotcha.

As the group drank, you found her stealing glances at you, a soft blush covering her cheeks.

Y/N POV

You couldn’t stop yourself from looking at him as he sang - there was something about the way that he moved, something about the passion that was dripping from his lips.

You could easily tell that he was in love with his job - seemingly having the best time of his life. You found yourself standing as he sang, your drink in hand.

You made your way towards the stage, swaying before him, feeling the bass vibrating under your feet. You could feel your friend’s eyes on the back of your head, but you didn’t care - all that you could feel was the music. You were the only one stood - the only one who was dancing.

As he sang, he caught your eye once more, making his way towards the front of the stage, mimicking you. You hadn’t noticed him leaning down towards you, his head just above yours, his eyes studying your face.

“As the days pass by my mind

Are the wrong, the right, you are my sunshine

And as the night begins to die

We are the morning birds that sing against the sky”

The grin that spread across your lips was indescribable. You decided at that moment that you absolutely had to have him - regardless of what you would have to do, he would be yours. He seemed to catch your drift, passing you a small scrap of paper -

“Meet me backstage.”

You didn’t need much convincing, sending your friends a quick nod, before moving towards the small room in the back. It was quiet in there - a few instruments strewn around, some solo-cups filled with unrecognisable liquids.

You found yourself sitting down onto the couch as you waited for him, crossing your legs. You raised your cup to your lips, allowing the liquid to fill your mouth. As the crowd clapped, you became nervous - What would you say to him? Good job? You could tell that he knew he was good - he didn’t need the extra reassurance.

Before you could decide on what move you’d make, the door opened. The youngest of the group was first, gently placing his bass down onto the ground, leaning it against the wall.

He found your eyes, furrowing his eyebrows at you.

“Who the fuck are you? What’re you doing here?”

You weren’t too sure what to say, simply looking up at him. Stuttering over your words, you were glad when somebody else began to speak. The drummer, it seemed.

“Sam, don't be so rude. You can’t tell me that you didn’t see Josh making eyes at her literally all night long - you know damn well why she’s here” he laughed, elbowing the bassist in the ribs. The younger huffed, making his way through the door. Taking just a moment to catch your breath, another walked in - his hands running through his hair.

“I assume you’re here for my brother.” he hummed, his eyes barely visible over the sunglasses that adorned his face. You simply nodded, before he spoke again.

“Jake. Nice to meet you.” You nodded towards him, gushing about how much you had loved the set. A soft smile crossed his face, clearly appreciative that somebody new was finally listening.

Josh POV

It wasn’t normal for you to be the last one backstage. But knowing she was going to be there made you nervous. Sure you had talked to many girls before but this one seemed different than others.

You found yourself wanting to know everything about her. As you made your way backstage you grabbed a drink for yourself and chugged it trying to make yourself feel confident.

Finally you swallowed your nerves and opened the door . You found her sitting on the couch talking to Jake. They seemed to get along but as soon as Jake saw you he excused himself to the bar for his nightcap.

This would be the first night that you would not get absolutely trashed and you didn’t care. You break the silence in the room.

“Hey gorgeous, I’m Josh, I-”

She cuts you off.

“Josh I know who you are,you introduced yourself like five times throughout your set.” She chuckled

You run your fingers through your hair. You’ve realized you have gotten a funny one.

“ Well, how did you like the show?” You asked, trying to change the subject.

“ I loved it, you are a genius like a lyrical genius. I’m surprised you aren’t touring all over the place!” You could tell she meant what she said her eyes lit up as she spoke to you. The conversation felt natural. You sat next to her on the couch and talked for hours, never getting sick of each other. She was special. All of a sudden you felt your phone vibrate. So you quickly excused yourself to answer the messages.

2 new messages in the band chat

Jake: Hey dick where are you?

Danny: Dude we are leaving, are you coming?

You quickly type your answer not wanting to leave her alone.

You: No; I have to talk to the manager about our pay. Leave without me. I will let you know when I’m on my way home.

Sam: Dude you can’t seriously think we believe you.

Danny: You fucker, you can’t use our trick and then lie to us. You are gonna fuck her backstage.

You could tell they were giggling together as they messaged you. You knew this was their go to. Invite girls backstage , then hit it and quit it. But you didn’t want to quit her.

Sam: Dude are you going to ejaculate and evacuate?

Danny: Pump and Dump?!

You shut off your phone not wanting to engage in this conversation anymore and go back to the couch.

Sitting next to her you could not wait any longer and found yourself leaning in for a kiss. You were surprised when her lips crashed into yours with a kind of ferocity that starving animals had.You wanted this to happen.

You wanted her to take what was hers. You wanted her to conquer you. To label you as hers ; In fact that was all you could think of for the last hour . Her.

Y/N POV

You were glad when he finally made a move - having been staring at his lips for the entire night, just waiting for the go ahead.

It was as if he were oxygen, and you hadn’t been breathing all night. Quickly leaning over him, his back was pressed against the leather of the couch, a sense of desperation in his eyes. It was easy to find his soft skin with your lips, getting to work on marking him up.

Deep, purple bruises began to grow on his skin, a soft whine leaving his lips as you worked on him. His hands were firmly placed on your hips, his fingertips pushing bruises into them. Your hand began to wander, one finding its way to his hair, and the other to his groin.

You palmed him slowly, his hips bucking up to meet your touch.

“Please.. Please” he begged, doing his absolute best to not squirm under you.

“Please what?” you teased, your teeth grazing against his skin, causing his hair to stand on edge.

“Please touch me.” he replied, his voice low.

You did as you were commanded, not wanting to leave him waiting for any longer. Your fingertips made quick work of unbuckling his belt, sliding into his pants. You took him into your hand, stroking him slowly.

You couldn’t believe the noises that left his lips - such filth for such a pretty boy. He was so desperate, his body pushing up into your hand, begging for more. You complied with his wishes, hooking a finger around your panties and pulling them to the side.

You were soaking already, slowly sitting onto him. His head fell back, as you moved slowly, teasing him. His chest rose and fell in rapid succession, as he finally caught his breath, pushing his hips up further.

A low moan erupted from your throat, which only seemed to make him more desperate - clearly eager to please. He was so good for you, doing exactly as he was told to do every time that you moved.

He was addicting - every noise that fell from his lips was beautiful, a symphony of begs, and moans. You couldn’t help yourself, your hand finding his hair once again, tangling the tight curls around your fingers.

His eyes widened slightly, finding yours. You simply smirked at him, before tightening your grip, grazing your nails across his scalp.

“I…I’m gonna-” he began, before you cut him off, placing your lips onto his once more. “Wait. Wait for me” you hummed, kissing his jawline, with him nodding quickly, wanting nothing more than to make you happy. You loved how receptive he was, how willing he was to behave. You had him wrapped around your little finger already.

As you could feel yourself reaching your peak, you leaned down to him, whispering soft praise. His eyebrows furrowed, his head falling back once more.

“Come on, baby, cum for me” you whispered, your mouth barely touching his ear.

And so, he did, his body almost shaking, joining you in riding it out. You pulled yourself up once you were done, pulling him up onto your chest, switching the previous position. As he rested his head in the crook of your neck, he sighed softly, his eyes falling closed. You stayed there for a few moments until you realized what time it was.

“Shit I gotta go!” You say in a hurry, grabbing you things, and making your way out into the bar.

Josh POV

As you catch your breath, you wondered why she had left so quickly. You buckled your belt, and got your things together. You didn’t have much, but everything you had was sentimental to you. Making your way out into the bar you were hit with the bustle of the crowd. Music was blasting as you made your way to the door. Rich, the bar manager, pulled you aside.

“Hey kid, there was a guy who wanted to speak with you tonight. He’s from some record label. Don’t get too excited.. but he’s coming down tomorrow to listen to you guys again. You better put on a good show; in other words, try not to be absolutely shitfaced on stage tomorrow.”

You nod your head. “Absolutely Rich; see yah tomorrow!”

You tried to act normal on your walk home. A record label agent wanted to hear you and your brothers play. This was what you had been waiting for. This may be your big break. You had had multiple labels turn you down before but this one seemed different.

You felt different. You couldn’t help thinking about Y/N . Why was she of all people on your mind? You were clearly just a hook-up to her. As you made your way into the apartment, Jake, Danny, and Sammy were sitting in the living room, drinking a beer and watching a movie. Sammy noticed you first.

“Aye, look, it's the man of the hour!”

“How was your first time hooking up with a groupie?” Danny chuckled

“Was it everything you ever wanted and more!” Jake added, sarcastically.

You knew they’d do this. You weren’t usually the one to have random hook ups. You caught feelings too quickly. Your brothers, on the other hand, they had fucked just about the entire city of Nashville between the three of them.

“Well she isn’t a groupie; it was her first time seeing us!” You shot back. The boys laughed at you trying to defend Y/N.

You quickly changed the subject.

“Rich caught me on my way out, said there was a record label agent who liked our sound and is coming back tomorrow to hear more of us! So I suggest you put down those beers. We really have to be on our A game tomorrow.”

A wave of silence overtook the room until Sammy spoke up.

“Not to be an asshole, Josh, but how do we know this guy will be different? I mean, we’ve had at least a dozen agents listen to us and not one has signed us. Do you think this time will be any different?”

“Sammy, maybe this’ll be our chance! Why are you all so negative?” You responded.

“Josh no offense but we are just being realistic . You know, not getting our hopes up to be let down like all the other times before.” Danny responds .

You knew you had been let down before but you could just feel that tomorrow would be different.

You gave up on trying to get the boys to be positive, and made your way into your bedroom. Laying down on your bed you stared at the ceiling, thinking about how you could make it big someday, and, of course, about her.

Why was your mind so fixed on her? You knew it would be a one night stand and you’d probably never see her again. But you couldn’t stop thinking about her. You wanted her again. You drifted asleep thinking about your future and what happened backstage tonight. Your time had finally come.The world was going to know the name Josh Kiszka sooner, rather than later.

Y/N POV

You barrelled out into the bar and practically ran towards Priyanka and Kyle.

“Where the fuck were you?” Priyanka asked

As you pondered how to answer, Kyle interrupted your thinking.

“Oh My FUCKING God! “ He said shocked

“You Fucked him! You fucked Josh! Oh My GOd Y/N!” He continued to yell at the top of his lungs.

You felt yourself blush as you tried to quiet him down.He pushed a drink towards you and sat on the barstool.

“Well you have to tell me everything. Josh doesn’t fuck just anyone he’s not a man whore like his brothers.” He sat waiting for your attention.

“I didn’t say I fucked him” you responded trying not to blush out if embarrassment.

“Oh you totally did, I can tell! You look well… happier.” He responded.

“Kyle let it go! She doesn’t have to tell you if she doesn’t want to?” Priyanka tried to make him back off, but it was no use. One thing you knew about Kyle was that if there was gossip, he would hear about it. You chuckled.

“Okay I’ll tell you, but we have to get out of here. How about pizza?” As your suggestion speaks to the stomachs of your friends. You three finished your drinks and walked over to the late night pizza shop next door. While eating the greasy pizza. you found yourself telling your friends all about your escapade backstage.

How much you liked him, and his….. performance. But you wondered if you would ever see him again. Once you finish your pizza you stumbled into an Uber and into your apartment. Tripping over unpacked boxes, you made your way towards your bed.

You collapsed into your bed, and stared at the ceiling thinking about josh and how tonight changed your life. You wanted to see him again but you knew you were just a hookup. He was an up and coming rockstar he probably fucked alot of other girls . You knew you meant nothing to him so you decided to not make it awkward and hide your feelings.

As you fell asleep you promised yourself that he was nothing to you and it was just a hookup. It was just the alcohol talking, he was just a guy, and it was just one night.

Josh POV

As you woke, you basically jumped out of bed. Excited for the day to come, you woke up earlier than usual.

You decided to check the clock: 9:30. You couldn’t remember the last time you woke up this early. You left your room to realize no one else was awake. You decided you were hungry, and so, you made your way to the local bagel shop and joined the line that was almost out the door.

As you looked at the menu you noticed someone familiar smiling at the barista who was giving them their caffeinated drink. Then it hit you.

SHIT. It was Y/N.

Do you go say hello? Do you ignore her? What do you do?

The extrovert in you decided you needed to go say hello. I mean you had your dick inside her not even twenty four hours ago the least you could do is say hello.

So, you grab your bagel and coffee and make your way to where she was sitting. She was sitting alone. Working on her laptop, she sat silently with her headphones on and she was oblivious to what was happening around her.

You reached out and tapped her on her shoulder. She jumped a little with your touch and turned around.

“Hey Y/N! How’s your morning?” You greeted her with a smile, quickly noticing that she didn’t look happy to see you.

“Oh. Hey Josh. I’m busy right now, can we talk later?” She responded, turning back to her computer.

“Uh… sure” you reply hesitantly

You pulled a pen from your bag, and scribbled a note on your receipt, before sliding it to her. She half smiled at you and shoved it in her pocket.

You couldn’t help but feel a little defeated. Why was she acting like this? Did last night mean nothing to her? In fairness, maybe it shouldn’t have meant anything to you either.

You exited the bagel shop into the busy streets of Nashville, trying to hide the tear that ran down your cheek. You made your way back to the apartment, now feeling a lot less optimistic than you were an hour ago.

By the time you made it home, the boys were all awake. You gave your bagel to Danny and Sam to split, due to having lost your appetite. Taking a single glance at your face, Jake could tell that something had upset you. Being twins, and as close as you were, you could basically communicate without talking. He broke the silence.

“Shit,it's the girl isn’t it?”

You nod your head.

“I warned you not to invite her backstage! You know you catch feelings too easily!”

You quietly responded, looking down towards the floor.

“I just thought that it would be different this time, I don’t know. ”

He sat you down, and gently placed a hand onto your shoulder.

“Dude, all girls who sleep with someone in a band are mostly girls who only do one night stands. Either keep away from girls at our gigs or start not catching feelings.”

#danny gvf #greta van fleet #jake gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #gvf fanfiction #gvf #gvf smut #sam kiszka gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka

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