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nerdlifecentral · 2 years

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Unknown Secrets [6]

Summary: Y/n heads back to Dubuque with some advice from Rowena. The Hunters and angels are still suspicious and Gabriel catches the reader in a few lies.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, reader, Gabriel , Castiel, Mick, Ketch, Rowena, and Crowley (mentioned)

Pairing: everyone platonic

Genre: Angst, bit of fluff

Word Count: 3,837

Warnings: n/a

A/N: Wowie, can't believe the last time I posted was Christmas! That's college life for you. Anyway, enjoy this chapter, and reach out if you have questions, suggestions, or something you want me to write! <33

“Rowena, you really don’t have to worry about me. I already let Ketch know before I left that I was feeling better and I have to keep their suspicions as low as possible. Disappearing wouldn’t help my case.” I say while tidying up the witch’s living room and packing my go bag and backpack.

“I am well aware of the terminal paranoia that runs in Hunter’s DNA, dear,” she says with a chuckle, “I am also aware that gaining Hunter’s trust is hard, but maintaining it is impossible.”

I know she is looking out for me, but honestly, I was hoping for some blind optimism to balance out the anxiety. “Trust me, I remember how long it took for Ketch and Mick to trust me and actually work with me regularly. I can’t lose that, Ro.” I say turning my back on her to continue packing. I hear her shoes click on the floor and stop right behind me.

“Y/n,” she says softly, “turn around and look at me, please.” I sigh and turn to look Rowena in the eyes. She gently takes my hands in hers and continues, “I know that you are a very capable and strong Hunter. And I’m sure those boys know it too, but promise me you will call if something doesn’t feel right or even to check in every few days so I know you’re okay.”

“I promise I will either call you or Crowley if something feels off.” Rowena visibly relaxes and gives my hands a quick squeeze.

“Speaking of my son, he told me this morning before you got up that he might have found some demons who might know of a way that could keep you more hidden from other supernatural beings.” she says, pulling me into a tight hug.

“Tell him thank you from me whenever you talk with him. At least now I have something to tell Sam and Dean that you guys are working on some theories.” I shiver with nervous energy considering the thousands of possibilities of how these guys will react since I’ve been gone.

“Yes. Now you better get going, it’s a long drive back to Dubuque.” Rowena smiles and walks me to the front door after picking up my backpack for me. I sling my go-bag over my right shoulder and grab my backpack from Rowena. She gives a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye and closes her front door.

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The entire drive back to Dubuque I tried to do some calming breathing exercises to keep my anxiety in check, although I’m unsure that breathing exercises will be any match against warranted suspicions. Driving into the bare parking lot I park next to Baby and Ketch’s car on each side of myself.

“At least I know everyone is here and I only have to face them once.” I assure myself while taking my duffle bag out of the back of my truck along with my backpack that I sling over my right shoulder, closing the car door afterward. I take a deep breath and walk in the direction of room number 63. I called Ketch this morning after leaving Ro’s apartment to make sure they hadn’t changed hotels or rooms yet.

As I get closer to the room, I can hear the boys talking quietly inside and shuffling papers around. I take another deep breath and knock three times on the faded wooden door. I stick the door three times and take a small step back, nervously readjusting my backpack.

I hear shuffling as footsteps draw nearer to the door, they pause and forcefully open the door. Ketch stands before me with a tired smile on his face. I let out a sigh of relief and give him a hug.

“It’s so good to see you, y/n. How are you feeling?” Ketch asks, returning my hug and stepping aside for me to enter. I give a tight-lipped smile to everyone else in the room. Dean and Gabe both stare daggers while Sam is busy on his laptop on the bed furthest from the door.

“Glad to see you too, Ketch. I’m feeling much better, just trying to take it easy. Where’s Castiel and Mick?” I respond, walking inside and setting my backpack and duffle bag on the floor next to the small table. I take a seat on one of the chairs, Dean occupying the other, leaning back with his arms crossed.

Sam sighs saying, “They both went out to try and get some information.” I wait for him to elaborate more, or even for anyone to give me an update but no one speaks up. I glance around the room; no one has changed their positions since I walked in. The only movement is Sam’s keystrokes and Ketch quietly shutting and locking the door.

“What kind of information? Please tell me you guys have more of a lead than I do.” I ask, hoping to convince them to spill a little. Not just for my own safety, but if I’m going to be a part of this hunt I need to know what’s going on.

Gabriel snorts and shakes his head, “Important information that might be a lead depending on what Cas and Mick find out.” Dean says, still staring at me with either anger or distrust. Knowing him, probably a dangerous mix of both. I decide to stare back, plastering a confused look on my face trying to hide the frustration. I know exactly what they are trying to do, keeping me in the dark so they can gather information that I can only assume is against me.

Ketch stands behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. I'm sure he’s trying to calm me down and back off from this stare-down with Dean, but I’m lost as to how going along with this manipulation will benefit me.

“Yeah, I assumed that Dean. What would be helpful to know is maybe where they went, or possibly what information they’re finding to investigate a theory.” Sam’s typing stopped. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me and Dean as I wait for the dam to break on me.

Ketch’s hands tighten slightly as Dean leans forward and opens his mouth to speak when there is a loud knock at the door.

Ketch lets go of me and opens the door, the tension in the room that was mounting seems to dissipate slightly with this distraction. I look down at my lap and play with my hands, luckily the guys have all stopped watching me and are looking at the people at the door.

“Y/n! We weren’t expecting you for another hour! Are you feeling better I hope?” Mick says gently holding my biceps, as I stand to greet him. He looks at me as though he’s expecting me to pass out any second.

I chuckle at his excitement, “I’m feeling much better, haven’t passed out at all and I’ve been very careful.” “What did he mean that they weren’t expecting me for another hour?” Before I could question what he meant by not expecting me for an hour, Castiel walks into the room holding a bloody angel blade.

“What happened to you bro?” Gabe asks the angel. Castiel then glances over to me and back to his brother, his classic confused look on his face. Mick slowly lets his arms drop back to his sides. I feel my phone then begin to vibrate with an incoming call.

I pick up, “Hey Rowena! What’s up?” I ask cheerfully.

“Just checking up on you my dear, I’m sure they’re all putting you through the wringer right now.” I can tell she is worried about me, and I don’t like that the Hunters and angels are still staring at me.

“Not too bad, a bit tiring but that’s what I was expecting,” I say standing up and exiting the room. I’d rather not add more suspicions but I don’t have enough energy to talk in riddles around them. “I’m outside now, and yes they haven’t told me a thing yet.”

Rowena sighs and remains silent for a moment. “Are you doing okay with that? I know you value your friendships with Mick and Ketch the most. How are they treating you?”

“I mean, they were both very kind and excited to see me, but Mick and Ketch won’t say anything either. Castiel and Mick just got back from what Dean called getting ‘important information that might be a lead depending on what they find out’,” Rowena laughs quietly, “if I’m still on this hunt, how can I be of any use while being left in the dark?” I know I sound like a whiny child but it’s just so frustrating, plus Ro is a very good listener.

“Well, you could always try saying that to them?” I snort and shake my head at her suggestion. “It would also help put them at ease and understand if you’re acting a bit off, it’s because you were left behind and need to play catch-up in order to stay useful and not put yourself in danger on accident.”

“I guess I’m just feeling guilty about hiding what I know and what Crowley is looking into for me. I want them to trust me and to stay in this hunt, but I feel like none of them will trust me again no matter what I say or do.”

“The only thing I would tell you, my dear, is to be very guarded. Right now they all perceive you to be a threat. Don’t do or say anything that could strengthen those suspicions or you’ll be fighting an even worse uphill battle.” I wish there is more that she could tell me, it’s smart advice, it just makes me even more apprehensive about my decision to return to the case.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I'll be careful. I’ll try and call later depending on how much progress we make.”

“Alrighty, take care of those boys now.” I laugh at her comment and hang up, placing my phone back in my jeans pocket.

“Feeling guilty, huh?” I spin around with Gabriel standing a few feet away. Of course, it had to be Gabe who followed me out, couldn’t have been literally anyone else.

“So what if I am?” I challenge. I don’t think this will earn me any cooperation points with them, but maybe it will appear like I’m not hiding as big a secret. “You’re really telling me Sam and Dean don’t hold guilt about past actions?”

His whiskey eyes burned holes through mine, fists clenched at his sides almost shaking with anger. He takes a step toward me, and I take one back, fearful of what the tortured angel might do.

“I’m sure Sam and Dean have messed up plenty and are still living in the past. That doesn’t change the fact you told that witch friend of yours that you feel guilty because you’re hiding something about this hunt. Wonder what kind of super secret information you have that we won’t trust you?” He finished with a threatening head tilt, almost daring me to disagree.

Sam walks out, “You guys okay out here?”

Gabriel looks over his shoulder to look at Sam, “Oh lay off, Moose. I was checking up on your new best friend, y/n, and heard a very interesting conversation she was having with your witchy girlfriend.” Sam sighs heavily and shakes his head at Gabe's antics.

The angel turns to look at me again with fiery eyes again. I shrug at Sam and Gabe scoffs saying, “Don’t play the innocent card with Sammy here after trying to pull the confident, guilt-stricken hunter card with me.”

“You haven’t even given me two seconds to explain what we were talking about!” I interrupt what I assume was going to become another veiled threat, “She told me to update her once we got a bit more settled to make sure I’m feeling okay, and she is worried you are going to try to kill me or connect me to Asmodeus again.” I’m already in a hole with Gabe catching me airing out my dirty laundry, might as well get a shovel to make it look like I was digging a well and not my own grave.

“Fat chance!” Gabe exclaims, taking a few quick steps in my direction again. Sam must have seen the uneasiness on my face and took a few long strides and got between me and Gabriel.

He puts his hands up to block Gabe from nearing me, “How about we all go inside and talk about this with everyone? You can say your piece, y/n says hers, and we can decide what to do as a group to catch this sonofabitch faster.” Gabe stares up at Sam, and they seem to have another silent conversation. “What the hell is with these guys and reading each other’s minds?”

Gabriel huffs and saunters back to the motel door and opens it, glancing back at me behind Sam. “Ladies first,” he says with an exaggerated arm sweep toward the now open door.

I roll my eyes and brush past Sam back into the room, taking my previous seat at the small table, though I notice Dean has since taken Sam’s spot on one of the beds and Gabe has taken to standing right beside me, blocking my view to Mick and Ketch huddled around various weapons and herbs. He is also pointedly blocking the door, locking it shortly after Sam re-entered the room. I think he rolls his eyes at Gabe who rolls his eyes back. Sam walks over to his brother to take his laptop back and sit at the table across from me.

“So, Gabe,” Sam breaks the silence, causing the other men to cease their movements, “why don’t you start with why you were snooping on y/n’s phone call, and then y/n,” he states glancing at me, “you can say what you were talking about on that phone call with Rowena.” I nod and try to look around Gabriel to see Ketch or Mick, but the stubborn angel purposefully moves in front of my line of sight.

“First of all, Moose, not snooping.” I scoff, immediately regretting that choice with a warning look from Sam, “I was actually going to make sure she didn’t pass out or something since she was by herself.”

“Ever heard of privacy, wings?” I snap, another look from Sam shuts me up again.

“I am aware of that, smartass. I overheard y/n telling Rowena how guilty she feels at hiding something from us because she’s too scared we’ll see her differently and doesn’t want to tell us.” I know this guy has been around for thousands of years, but how is it possible he never actually grew up!

“I feel guilty because when I was with Rowena and Crowley I did some research cross-referencing weather patterns, crop failures, cow slaughters, the basic demon signs,” I pause, seeing how frustrated Gabriel was getting since I was speaking calmly and adding more detail. I guess he wanted me to admit I’m being sneaky because I have a huge secret.

“I noticed that there have been some of these demonic signs have been bouncing around between Manchester, Iowa, Platteville, Wisconsin, and Freeport, Illinois for the past twenty to thirty years,” I explain, taking out my computer to show the map I had drawn up with different colors for each demonic sign. I scroll through about ten maps showing different changes every other year as the Hunters and Angels crowd around me.

“While this is really impressive, y/n,” Mick states, “what does this have to do with your guilt Gabriel mentioned? You already gave Ketch a synopsis of what your research yielded.” Dean groans at Mick’s big words and strides back to the bed, flopping onto it.

I smile and continue, “While I told Ketch about my research I didn’t say what Crowley found out about these cities and why they didn’t show up in Rowena’s original spell. And he made me promise-”

“Original spell?” Gabriel asks, squinting at me.

I pause, not knowing what he’s talking about. “Yeah, the original spell. What about it?”

Dean sits up from his relaxed position and tries to stare me down for the second time today. The rest of the guys also visibly tune in to the conversation more and are eyeing Gabe and me.

“You saying Rowena’s original spell implies there were more spells she performed. I know she didn’t tell us about these spells, the Brits have never met her, Gabe and Cas don’t communicate with her regularly, so when exactly did she test out other spells?” Sam asks.

“She seriously did this spell only once with you guys?” Dean is still staring and Sam merely nods. “Ro’s losing her touch then, I asked for her to do the spell again on a smaller map to be sure it was for Dubuque and not a smaller town nearby or anything. And the spell again showed Dubuque.” Sam glances at Gabriel who is doing that stupid telepathic trash with Dean, at least it got him to quit staring at me. Technically it was only a white lie since the map wasn’t of Dubuque, but we did do the same spell again to double-check where the nephidemon is.

“Anyway,” I continue, “Crowley made me promise to not tell you guys that he has a demon with a number of connections has randomly gone off the radar for the past ten years. He wanted to see if this demon had anything to do with Asmodeus or his kid without y’all going in guns blazing and ruining a possible lead.” Everyone in the room aside from Gabriel has relaxed a bit and no longer seems to want me dead.

“So, why again do you feel guilty?” Sam pushes, “It’s not like Crowley has kept his inside demon bureaucracy crap hidden before to keep him as King.”

“Why does Sam have to always be so damn smart and read into everything. I was honestly hoping they might turn suspicions onto Crowley or this made-up demon but no, Sam has to use that Stanford brain.”

“Well, I assumed you would want to know anything I found out that had to do with anything demonic. I felt guilty that I was hiding this because this demon could end up being a big lead if Crowley can find her alive.” The tension that had built previously finally died down enough for me to breathe. Gabriel must have sensed it too and stepped away from me a bit so I can actually see Mick and Ketch by the bed closest to the door.

I’m thankful for the few minutes of silence to collect my thoughts and calm my breathing. I’ll have to remember to update Crowley and Rowena about all the lies I just said, I can’t have either of them getting shot in any cross-fire. Both have been extremely understanding and really put their lives and relationships with the Hunters on the line for me.

Unfortunately, the silence doesn’t last nearly as long as I would like when Castiel speaks up, “What should we do now?” Dean gives the angel a shrug and the rest of us glance between The Brits and Dean. Gabriel is still sulking by the door with his arms crossed, playing with some grooves in the floorboards with his feet.

“Don’t you boys have a Men of Letters Bunker back in Kansas?” Ketch questions, “Those places are filled with weapons, books, spells, anything we could think to need to start seriously going after Asmodeus or his child.”

Everyone agrees and we all pack up whatever gear we brought with us and file outside the motel door towards the parking lot. Dean goes to return their room keys as Sam loads his and his brothers’ bags into Baby, Ketch does the same with his and Mick’s bags.

“Y/n, you should probably ride with us. No offense to your truck but I doubt it would make the drive to Kansas, let alone back here.” Mick says, a bit shy while holding out his hands for my duffle bag and backpack.

“I didn’t even think about that honestly, I’m sure it’s fine to leave it here and I hate long drives alone,” I say with a smile as I hand him my gear.

Dean returns and takes the keys from Sam as they get into the front seats, and the angels climb into the back. I let out a quick sigh of relief that Gabriel chose to ride with his brother and the Winchesters, I don’t think I could handle hours being stuck in a car with him and his suspicious attitude. Ketch and Mick get into the front seats with Ketch driving and Mick sitting passenger side, leaving me to sit in the middle seat in the back so I can still talk to both of them.

”Y/n, you do realize I know when you’re lying right?” Ketch says, looking back at me with the rearview mirror.

I scrunch my nose in confusion and ask, “I know you’ve been trying to convince me I have a tell or something for years, but I doubt that based on how often I beat you in poker.”

Ketch chuckles and Mick casts a smirk my way. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You do have a tell and no, I will never tell you because where’s the fun in that?” I roll my eyes and lightly smack his arm, “when you said that Crowley was looking into that demon that disappeared, your tell happened. Everything else seemed truthful, but you do know the truth will come to light sooner than you want.”

It almost sounds like a warning. I really need to try to bribe Mick to tell me about my supposed tell sometime, “Whatever you are hiding, you need to be straight with us.” Mick says, fidgeting with his collar. I might have a lying tell, but Mick messing with his cufflinks or shirt collar is certainly his nervous tell.

“I appreciate what you guys are saying, and you don’t have to worry that much about me. I’ll be okay.” I look at them through the rearview mirror, hoping to portray honesty because I truly want to believe that I will be okay through this whole thing.

“Anything you’re hiding, y/n, you either need to right it, tell us, or don’t let it bite you in the ass,” Ketch says as silence fills the car aside from faint radio music. He’s one-hundred percent right and I know it, and I’m unsure which of the three options will cause the least amount of relationship setbacks and Gabriel’s level of hatred directed at me and my father.

“No, I can’t afford to relate myself to that monster. I never have been and never will be like that, I can’t let myself.”

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