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kwonzoshi · 14 days

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AU Where Erik is alive and things progressed just about the exact same.

Inspired By: @yet-another-greek-myth-gay

In the palace, 2 months after Wilhelm and Erik’s speeches at the Jubilee:

Wille is pacing back and forth, thumbnail in his mouth as his mind is spinning over the revelation that his brother was part of the homophobic hazing that Hillerska was now under investigation for. His brother, he thought as he inhaled deeply, rubbing his free hand over his chest slowly. He heard footsteps approaching and turned to face the door. Erik walked in, holding a small glass of whiskey which at his point was a permanent fixture in his hand. He watched as his brother beamed a smile at him before taking a small sip of his drink.

“They said you wanted to talk to me?” he started, seating himself on the arm of the nearest chair. “Is this about the papers and the fact that they’re blaming you for Hillerska’s potential closure?”

Wille shook his head, lowering his hands to his side but unable to stop himself from fidgeting.

“Well,” Erik slid into the chair’s actual seat, “I don’t want to say I told you so, but I did try to warn you against your anti-tradition speech as well as confessing that it was you in that video… All it did was open a can of worms that no one was ready for. Now you have to just… deal with the consequences of your actions.” he finished, gesturing with his glass.

Wille’s eyes narrowed slightly and an involuntary chuckle escaped his lips, “I guess I could say the same to you, Erik.” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. At his brother’s puzzled look, he took a breath and just spat it out. “I know you were there Erik, during that disgusting initiation. Where you and your little third year friends made the guys watch gay porn? And then beat the shit out of them if they got turned on? Yeah, that initiation.” he began to pace, and missed Erik’s eyes widening. “Where are the consequences to those actions, Erik?”

He could feel his anger rising now, the anxiousness making way for it by slowly disappearing with every word he spoke. Erik remained composed, “What the hell are you talking about Wilhelm?” He asked, his tone flat and almost dismissive.

“No!” Wille heard himself shout, his arms dropping, “you will not sit here and lie to me Erik. August is the one who told me and he wouldn’t lie about this, about you. He worships the ground you walk on. He would lick your shoes if you let him for Christ’s sake.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath while continuing to pace in front of his brother. “How could you do something like that, Erik? I thought you were accepting and that you cared about people.” He stopped pacing to face his brother again, “Is this why you told me to say it wasn’t me on the video? Because you can’t stand the fact your brother isn’t just a class traitor but also a homo?”

“Wille,” Erik stood, placing his glass on the side table and reaching out to Wille, “It’s not li-”

“I said don’t fucking lie to me,” Wille shouted, smacking his hand away. “All this time,” he continued, his voice cracking as the tears welled in his eyes, “I thought you loved me. That you were protecting me, taking care of me… I trusted you and listened to you and you didn’t even tell me that there would be an initiation… or-or just how bad those initiations could be… you left me there, alone with nothing protecting me from going through something like that… no friends… barely any contact… ho-how could you, Erik?” He locked eyes with his brother and the dam broke. The tears cascaded down his face in droves and he could feel his chest tightening as the sobs formed.

Erik said nothing, his face remained expressionless but his eyes glistened with the tears he wouldn’t dare let fall. “Wilhelm,” he said softly, pulling his little brother into a hug as he continued to sob. Wille didn’t have the energy to shove him off and he knew that even if he did, Erik would overpower him easily. They stood just like that for a while, Erik’s arms around Wille and Wille’s hands still at his sides. He refused to return the hug to this strange man that looked like his brother but couldn’t be him. Wille pulled back a bit to test if his brother would let him go. When he did he stepped back and turned to face away from him.

He sniffled, “Well,” he started, still not facing Erik, “are you going to say anything?”

Erik sighed, sitting back down and rubbing his hands across his face, decided to rely on his training. “Wille, I’m sorry. About all of it.” He grabbed his drink and downed the rest, letting the warmth travel down his throat before continuing. “I’m not proud of it, in the slightest.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Wille retorted, sparing him a glare over his shoulder before facing away again.

“Come on, Wille.” Erik said sharply, “It was a standard initiation, every first year has to go through it and every year they get crazier and crazier. That’s just what’s done at Hillerska. I think you’re just… too sensitive about such matters. And as far as the video of you and Simon is concerned, you have to admit you were thoughtless. Caught up in the moment and hey, I get it, I was young and horny too but at least I was discreet.”

Wille rounded on his brother, eyes sharp. “Are you fucking kidding me, Erik?” he said quietly, “I’m too sensitive about the fact you beat up other kids for being gay?” He shook his head, “So that’s it? You’re going to just blame me for the video, even though August is the one that recorded and posted minors having sex and your conscience is just fine about what you did to those first-years?”

“No,” Erik said, “I don’t blame you, I just said you weren’t discreet and no, my conscience is not just fine, Wilhelm. You have no idea what it was like back then for me, the peer pressure, the family pressure… you were just a kid, and it was never supposed to be something you needed to concern yourself with.” Wille opened his mouth to speak and Erik raised his hand to stop him, “Stop interrupting me and let me finish, okay?” He ran his hands through his hair in a way that mimicked his younger brother. “I didn’t tell you about the initiation because I made sure that it would never happen again. Not like that. I didn’t have the power to put a full stop to it but I did what I could. As far as the video, I do blame August for what he did and we are no longer on speaking terms. And you being gay? Come on, Wille, I have never, and I mean never, cared about such matters. You loving Simon is not the issue. It never has been, and it will never be. Your disregard for your title and who you are is the issue. You want to live a ‘normal life’ but that is just not possible for us, Wilhelm. We are expected to act with a certain level of decorum that others are not. We cannot make mistakes like others can because we are under constant watch… constant scrutiny. Even if it takes years for those mistakes to come to light, it’s never as simple as learning from them. The entire country will have their opinions, good or bad. That’s just how it is and no matter what I say, or how much growth I’ve had, the mistake was still made.”

Wille watched as Erik stood and made his way to the window, parting the curtain to look outside. “I love you, Wilhelm. Regardless of who you love. That will never matter to me, or to mom and dad. Even when we have to act for the family’s or the country’s best interest, we still love you. My love for you still doesn’t trump my responsibilities to the crown and I’m sorry for that.” He faced Wille, slipping his hands into the pockets of his pants.

Wille stood in silence, watching his brother. He wasn’t sure what to say, really. He cleared his throat, “So you don’t think I’m a disgusting homosexual class traitor, then?”

Erik threw back his head and laughed, “No, I don’t think that.” He walked over to Wilhelm, “you’re just my dumb little brother who acts before thinking, and I love you, you idiot.” They grinned at each other, “And just for your information, I’m releasing a statement about what I did to those first years… owning up to it and offering to make amends.” As Wille’s eyes widened he gave him a light punch on the shoulder, “Don’t act so surprised, it’s offensive.”

Wille wrapped his arms around his brother taking a deep breath. He felt his hands as they rubbed up and down his back, feeling relief creep up his entire body. He pulled back, running a hand through his hair, “Why did you have to be so fucking political at first?” He teasingly demanded, “I thought I was going to have to pretend you were dead for the next few years or something.”

“Oh, that’s a bit much don’t you think?” Erik responded, wrapping his arm around his not so little, little brother’s shoulder. “I honestly don’t know… defense mechanism maybe? Being prim and proper to save face? I’m so sorry, Wille, I sincerely am.” They walked out the room and made their way down the hallway. After a moment of silence Erik asked, “Why don’t you invite Simon over to game with us this weekend?”

Wille glanced up at Erik, “Really? Why?”

“Well, I’ve seen a lot of him online and I think it’s time to meet the guy that gave my brother the courage to come out to the entire world. Plus, I need to see what it is about this guy that has completely fried the two brain cells you had left.”

Wille laughed, “He didn’t fry my brain cells, you asshole.” They stopped at Wille’s door and he sighed, “Okay, I’ll ask if he’s free.”

“Great! Let me know and I’ll make sure we have snacks and drinks.” He turned to walk away.

“Hey,” Wille said, stopping him in his tracks. He looked back at him, “I love you too.”

Erik smiled warmly, “I know, Wilhelm.” With that he turned and made his way down the hall. It wasn’t a perfect conversation and not everything was resolved but it was as good a start as any. Luckily they had more than enough time to get it all right.

#young royals #yr #young royals fic #young royals one shot #erik young royals #wilhelm young royals #kwonzoshi #kwonzoshi writes

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camillasgirl · 1 year

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The Anointing Screen

The Anointing Screen has been designed and produced for use at the most sacred moment of the Coronation, the Anointing of His Majesty The King. The screen combines traditional and contemporary sustainable embroidery practices to produce a design which speaks to His Majesty The King’s deep affection for the Commonwealth. The screen has been gifted for the occasion by the City of London Corporation and City Livery Companies.

The Anointing takes place before the investiture and crowning of His Majesty. The Dean of Westminster pours holy oil from the Ampulla into the Coronation Spoon, and the Archbishop of Canterbury anoints the Sovereign on the hands, chest and head. It has historically been regarded as a moment between the Sovereign and God, with a screen or canopy in place given the sanctity of the Anointing.

The Anointing Screen was designed by iconographer Aidan Hart and brought to life through both hand and digital embroidery, managed by the Royal School of Needlework. The central design takes the form of a tree which includes 56 representing the 56 member countries of the Commonwealth. The King’s cypher is positioned at the base of the tree, representing the Sovereign as servant of their people. The design has been selected personally by The King and is inspired by the stained-glass Sanctuary Window in the Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace, which was gifted by the Livery Companies to mark the Golden Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II in 2002.

The Anointing Screen is supported by a wooden pole framework, designed and created by Nick Gutfreund of the Worshipful Company of Carpenters. The oak wooden poles are made from a windblown tree from the Windsor Estate, which was originally planted by The Duke of Northumberland in 1765. The wooden poles have been limed and waxed, combining traditional craft skills with a contemporary finish.

At the top of the wooden poles are mounted two eagles, cast in bronze and gilded in gold leaf, giving the screens a total height of 2.6 metres and width of 2.2 metres. The form of an eagle has longstanding associations with Coronations. Eagles have appeared on previous Coronation Canopies, including the canopy used by Queen Elizabeth II in 1953. Equally, the Ampulla, which carries the Chrism oil used for anointing, is cast in the shape of an eagle.

The screen is three-sided, with the open side to face the High Altar in Westminster Abbey. The two sides of the screen feature a much simpler design with maroon fabric and a gold, blue and red cross inspired by the colours and patterning of the Cosmati Pavement at Westminster Abbey where the Anointing will take place. The crosses were also embroidered by the Royal School of Needlework’s studio team.

At the Coronation Service, the Anointing Screen will be held by service personnel from Regiments of the Household Division holding the Freedom of the City of London. The three sides of the screen will be borne by a Trooper and Guardsman from each of The Life Guards, Grenadier Guards, Coldstream Guards, Scots Guards, Irish Guards, and Welsh Guards.

The screen has been gifted for the Coronation by the City of London Corporation and participating Livery Companies, the City’s ancient and modern trade guilds. His Majesty The King is a keen advocate and supporter of the preservation of heritage craft skills, and the Anointing Screen project has been a collaboration of these specialists in traditional crafts, from those early in their careers to artisans with many years of experience.

The individual leaves have been embroidered by staff and students from the Royal School of Needlework, as well as members of the Worshipful Company of Broderers, Drapers and Weavers.

As well as heritage craft, contemporary skills and techniques have formed part of this unique collaboration. The outline of the tree has been created using digital machine embroidery by Digitek Embroidery. This machine embroidery was completed with sustainable thread, Madeira Sensa, made from 100% lyocell fibres.

The threads used by the Royal School of Needlework are from their famous ‘Wall of Wool’ and existing supplies that have been collated over the years through past projects and donations. The materials used to create the Anointing Screen have also been sourced sustainably from across the UK and other Commonwealth nations. The cloth is made of wool from Australia and New Zealand, woven and finished in UK mills.

The script used for the names of each Commonwealth country has been designed as modern and classical, inspired by both the Roman Trojan column letters and the work of Welsh calligrapher David Jones.

Also forming part of the Commonwealth tree are The King’s Cypher, decorative roses, angels and a scroll, which features the quote from Julian of Norwich (c. 1343-1416): ‘All shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well’.

This design has again been inspired by the Sanctuary Window in the Chapel Royal, St James’s Palace, created for Queen Elizabeth II’s Golden Jubilee in 2002. At the top of the screen is the sun, representing God, and birds including the dove of peace, which have all been hand embroidered by the Royal School of Needlework.

The dedication and blessing of the Anointing Screen took place earlier this week at the Chapel Royal, St James’s Palace, where it was officially received and blessed by the Sub-Dean and Domestic Chaplain to The King, Paul Wright, on behalf of The Royal Household.

#king charles lll #queen camilla #coronation

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toomanyfandomsimfanvergent · 1 year

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Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

'I'm No Nancy Wheeler'

Steve has never fallen for a type like you. Never.

"How long does your hair take you little fucker," you yell at your brother as he puts in the finishing sprays of some Farrah Facet hair spray.

He had already been in there for half an hour. You still had to basically do everything but change. It didn't matter how long he took at this point. You were always late to class. He never was.

"One more damn minute in there, and you're going to be very late to your favorite class," you want and Dustin burts out of the bathroom, hairspray in hand.

"You wouldn't dare," he says and points the bottle at you. You scoff as you get into the bathroom. He was convinced you would never do something that serious. Mr. Clarke was his favorite teacher, Dustin worshiped the man.

"I would," you say as you shut the door. Your hair was, there wasn't the right word for it. It was a mess.

"Son of a bitch," Dustin yells as you begin working on the mess of hair resting atop your head. Dustin was definitely going to be late.

You finish up and look at your watch, 7:40am. Shit you were a lot later then you had wanted to be. You groan as you walk into your room and grab your backpack.

You take a last look in the mirror, tight flare jeans and a Bowie Tshirt. Bowie wasn't one of the main bands you listened to, but your brother persuaded you to listen to something less metal.

You slip on a black leather jacket before waking into Dustin's room. You notice his alarm clock says 7:42 A.M.

"Dustin, why is your clock set early?" You ask. There is no fucking way he would set your clock an hour ahead. He wouldn't.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit," Dustin yells and grabs his backpack. He did.

"I didn't want to be late," he reasons. You scoff and go to grab your backpack before storming to your car.

Dustin gets in shortly after and you tear out of the driveway. He made you lose an entire hour of sleep. Why? So he wouldn't be late.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Fuck off, I'm no Nancy Wheeler," you say to Steve harrington. He was a total asshole. He expected to get whatever he wants whenever he wants it.

"I'm not with Nancy Wheeler, plus I don't want to be. I want to be with you," he says and you cringe. Ew.

"So. You went from Nancy Wheeler, to Yn Henderson?" You ask him motioning to your attire. Did Nancy Wheeler even know what Bowie was?

"Look, I'm over her," Steve insists. You raise an eyebrow and scoff.

"Okay, what do I have to do to prove it to you?" Steve asks. He was so hopeful you would say something easy so he could just kiss you.

He loved your 'fuck off' attitude and was instantly pulled into a choke hold by you. He hated the fact that he fell for the biggest outcast in the school, but you were worth it.

He was getting over having to deal with all of the pressure of keeping his reputation perfect. Being king Steve wasn't easy.

"Fine. Fuck off and I will think about it," you reply and stalk off. You left to walk to some class you had, either history of math, and thought about it.

The answer was no.

----------------------------------------------------------

It had been two years since you had rejected Steve Harrington. He respected your wishes and waited for you to come to him. You hadn't.

That all changed when you saw working at scoops ahoy in that stupid uniform. Honestly, it should be illegal to look that good.

Steve and his stupid, slutty thighs. Steve and his stupid, slutty waist.

You walked over to the counter and rang the bell. Steve turned around and blushed.

"Get it over with Henderson," he said with a groan. You smiled and let out a little laugh. He had so idea you thought that that stupid uniform was hot.

"I don't know. Maybe you could help me?" You ask and lean on the counter. "I'm thinking cherries jubilee, maybe a banana boat sundae?" You say with a smile as Steve's eyebrows hit his hairline.

"I'm sorry?" He asks. He was very clearly shocked. "is this a stupid prank?" Steve asks.

"I did not plan this. Blame that slutty sailors outfit," you reply with a wink. Steve's jaw drops. You tap your finger under his chin so it doesn't literaly hit the floor.

"So, pick me up at,- what time do you get off?" You ask. Steve is still in shock as you fold your arms over your chest.

He couldn't believe it. He couldnt. You were different

There were a few small tattoos adorning your arms, and your black jeans clung to you. Low on your hips. Steve snapped back to reality and kept his mind from wandering.

How many nights had he pined over you? Wishing and hoping for a single kiss. A single hug even.

"Um, ten," he blurts and you smile before grabbing his hand and writing your number.

"You can pick me up at 11, maybe we could go to the arcade. They are open late on Saturdays during the summer," you say and give him a kiss on the cheek before walking off.

Steve stands in shock. H-

"You rule Harrington," Robin says with utter shock. How had Steve had a girl, a very, very, hot girl come up and basically ask him out?

"I rule?" Steve says and hears a groan.

"Was that my sister?" Dustin asks. That was when it hit him.

Steve had gotten a date with his sister. You despised Steve? Or did you?

Dustin didn't want to find out.

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Requests are open! Check my pinned post for details!

#steve harrington #steeve #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington angst #dom steve harrington #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fic rec #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington headcannons #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington incorrect quotes #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x reader

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mists-reading-nook · 1 year

Note

[Letter Event!]

{Game and Cult AU! Creator's friend on discord makes a Mystery Flesh Pit Au which is it's own warning! Small caps warning too in my own ramblings after this ficlet}

{This blew up into a whole AU ahdgdyej, and to think I intended this to be shorter RIP}

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(Through diligent work, day and night, Acolytes Faruzan and Layla can now boast that they've broken a wall between them and the Creator!

(And what's this? Something called Discord where the Creator seems to converse with others! Is that a fellow God they chat with?

(The news quickly spreads as do the messages the two Gods shared between one another. It seems somebody leaked the Divine Conversation for the world to see. It's unfair for knowledge of the Beloved Creator to be kept secret as after all! So what if Faruzan and Layla think otherwise?

(But it doesn't inspire jubilee or elation. The messages the deities speak to one another bring a fearful awe amongst the people.)

~*~☁️☁️☁️~*~

[Friend] I just realized that I've been raving about making a MFP!GI AU without you even knowing what the fuck MFP is 😭😭😭

[Friend] Anyways here's a video that tells you pretty much everything you need to know

[Friend] Mystery Flesh Pit National Park | Wendigoon

[Me] just finished the video and that is the most horrifying experience ever and i never want to go through it again

[Me] what are your aus

[Friend] Basically Teyvat is worse of. Why? Well Celestia is the same as always but it's the Archons—called Underworlds here—that are different. They aren't gods, heck Celestia detests them because they're Superorganisms.

[Friend] Because of the sheer fucking scale of these fleshscapes, each Nation has religions related to their own super organism. Khaenri'ah had it's own, which is also large enough to be underneath the whole of Teyvat called the Abyss, but prior to the Cataclysm, religion dies down plenty amongst Khaen's Government and starts to view the Abyss through a more scientific lense, a creature instead of a god, hence why Khaen is called Godless. Celestia didn't like the Abyss not being revered and being questioned.

[Friend] Anyways, despite the fact that whole religions are made around these flesh pits, the Seven couldn't give less of a crap about the people. They barely even notice them, they just breathe and eat and do normal living creature stuff. Yes, they could walk around, be worshipped like deities, but that'd be too much energy wasted and they're already given more than enough sacrifices or meals to be sustained in sleep.

[Friend] enough so that they may not even need to wake up to feast (which worshipers would interpret as their Gods being displeased, but they're just hungry and don't care about you) so they stay where they are.

[Friend] They're still as intelligent as they are in canon but only want to do the bare minimum to live for energy conservation)

[Friend] Anyways, no Gnoses. Instead the Seven Underworlds are imbued with their respective elements. Buer is full of plant life. Barbatos always releases howling winds from his mouth and is full of even more winds. Hydro is underwater and produce water itself, you get the idea.

[Friend] While Celestia hands out visions, holding the element of your nation's Underworld grants the most prestige.

[Friend] Why? It helps you navigate the Seven.

[Friend] example: Jean, with her Anemo vision, can resonate with Barbatos and get a feel for how to navigate him, get a bigger picture on the grand scale of things. The more skilled you are with a vision, the clearer that picture is. You can also get an idea of what the Underworld is feeling.

[Friend] heck, people run expeditions. During the rare moments the superorganisms open their mouths, people with resonating visions join parties that explore their Underworlds, and gather resources, from the native animals to bodily fluids to mining the fleshscapes themselves. Resonator's are essential to these teams!

[Friend] It varies from nation to nation and person to person what is and isn't okay to take from their gods. The spoils are seen as blessings and gifts.

[Friend] also resonance isn't all that good, if you go too deep into the connection with the Underworld, it's MIND, you risk being put into a trance of some sort, where the superorganisms compels you to stray from your team, go in deeper, and become a permanent part of the immune system, killing of anything from outside.

[Friend] So the Resonator holds prestige but someone always keeps an eye on them, lest they be lost forever.

[Friend] Why does Celestia keep the Seven and Abyss around? It keeps humanity busy, everyone is busy with pleasing these superorganisms, and thus do not have the time to rebel against Celestia or anything.

[Friend] also I decided just now that the flesh pits were once known as the Eight but after the Cataclysm it became the Seven with knowledge of the Abyss being forgotten over time, that's going to be a big fuck up on Celestia's part.

[Friend] anyways, amalgamations. Celestia killed off most of Khaenri'ah by destroying the physical area and pushed survivors into the Abyss. Trapped, most people died off to the dangers, others became amalgamations that take the place of abyss mages, hilichurls, etc. They're killed and used for resources in the Abyss and outside. It's seen as mercy killing given how much pain they're in, or die with their unstable bodies finally breaking.

[Friend] A lucky few people managed to survive the Abyss without being turned into amalgamations. That or they're amalgamations who aren't constantly in agony as their new bodies work perfectly fine by pure luck.

[Friend] Examples include Kaeya and his family who are still wholly humans. Dainsleif may look human but he's an amalgamation who won the lottery and became immortal. Or lost it depending on your viewpoint of immortality.

[Friend] when Tartaglia fell into the Abyss, he was forced to become an Amalgamation to survive. Think Foul Legacy with more body horror and permanent. He's still completely sane with his love for battle but his shitty parents kick him out due to his state and lied to his siblings about a terrible monster that killed big brother Ajax and tried to trick the family. The Fatui is quicker to pick him up here.

[Friend] Sidenote, on the EXTREMELY rare occasion that someone becomes an amalgamation who is perfectly fine—like they don't feel any pain with their body and it doesn't collapse in on itself— they're seen as blessed by whatever Underworld they got transformed in. They also get fused w/ their element if they were an allogene w/ their vision on hand during the amalgamation process.

[Friend] During the Cataclysm, all Underworlds except for Morax and Barbatos died thanks to the Abyss thrashing around, causing catastrophic earthquakes throughout Teyvat with the others caught in the crossfire. Celestia was real violent with shoving Khaenri'ah's people into the Abyss.

[Friend] Mondstadt and Liyue were fucked, sure, but the other nations with dead gods WITHERED for a good while. These nations were built around superorganisms which were now giant, rotting corpses. The ecosystem of Teyvat was fucked for a good while. Then came the new superorganisms that ate the remains of the dead Underworlds and took their place as the new gods for Teyvat.

[Friend] 500 years later Teyvat is still worse off than before the Cataclysm but it's very close to a full recovery.

[Friend] When it comes to groups like Tenryou Commission or the Fatui, they believe they're carrying out the will of their Underworlds, be it the Vision Hunt Decree or rebelling against Celestia. They believe their Gods want them to do this.

[Friend] Except the Underworlds don't want anything except to survive, to breathe, eat when hungry and sleep. They're ultimately uninvolved with human matters. (Another reason why Celestia doesn't exterminate them)

[Friend] I don't know why people think they hear the will of their Underworlds though. Anyways, this Teyvat is not a crueler world necessarily, but a more uncaring one, that sees humans are irrelevant, not worth a thought. The Underworlds don't want to live as gods or people with agendas. The Underworlds wants to continue to survive another day and keep on existing. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Friend] That's all I got but I'll keep you updated while I create.

[Friend] nvm nvm nvm I got more, all the animal hybrid people like the Adepti or Onis or ANYBODY with non-human traits are either survivors of the amalgamation process or descended from survivors.

[Me] Damn. Neat 👍

~*~☁️☁️☁️~*~

(When Layla and Faruzan got their hands on this "video" attached to the conversation? Only a select few, high standing individuals were permitted to view it's contents in a meeting.)

(How horrible, to grapple with the understanding there exists a version of Teyvat, that is apathetic to the people, where blessing are made up, and you can't even begin to understand the horrors your God speaks of.)

--------------------

{OR: The Creator and their friend ~traumatizes~ Teyvat on accident. They don't even know Genshin Impact is self aware}

{I cannot help but wonder what the national and individual reactions to the conversation would be. They prolly dunno what AU stands for but they would still grasp that the Creator's friend CREATED ANOTHER Teyvat worse off than theirs. And their OWN CREATOR THOUGH IT WAS NEAT????}

{As for reactions to the Mystery Flesh Pit Video??? 👀👀👀👀👀}

{Wait who would be present for the meeting?}

{Also to clarify on the Mystery Flesh Pit National Park | Wendigoon part, when the conversation was leaked to Teyvat, Faruzana and Layla only knew the video title and author, they couldn't watch or listen to it so people can only guess the context, giving even LESS perspective on the Friend's ramblings. Maybe people think it's a legitimate documentary on a real location? I mean they certainly think the Genshin Impact Flesh Pit Au is real.}

{After the leaks, security became tighter and the duo managed to gain access to the whole video. During a secure meeting with only a select group of people present, they watch the ENITRE video and take all the notes they can}

{Btw do not feel pressured to watch the whole video for this ask, you don't need to if you cannot or don't want to.}

Holy shit??? That's genuinely such a cool Au I'm genuinely obsessed. Idk what the flesh pit is,but I'm slightly scared to watch the video...

(More under cut)

As for who's present for the meeting,it's mostly government figures.

For Mondstat: Jean,Venti,Diluc (as from what I know, dawn winery is a rlly big money maker,and plus Diluc has that whole "darknight hero" thing)

For Liyue: Ningguang,Zhongli,Adeptus Xiao (and Yanfei,and Ganyu,as they are also adepti)

For Inazuma: The Raiden Shogun, BOTH Kamisato siblings,Yae Miko

For Sumeru: Nahida, Alhaitham

And for the nation's that haven't been released yet,it's mostly the same. Snezhnaya I'm not sure about attendance,however,some harbingers would be there as well as the cryo archon

Now,the reaction is mostly one of fear and respect. They consider this fellow God of yours a God of chaos,one that you are apparently good friends with. They gain a new respect for you as a God,and many holy texts are updated to include tales of your friend.

Honestly,many in attendance don't come out the same.

"AU" is now a more holy term,as it was used by you and your friend a bunch. Dispite not knowing what it means,many religious scholars consider it to be a term for different worlds the celestial Gods create.

Honestly this entire thing is highly interesting to me,and this Au is something I'd love to hear more about,as well as dive into how it would tie into sagau. This also got me thinking of how different AUs would tie into sagau,how certain characters would react to popular AUs like 5wirl.

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin cult au #sagau genshin #sagau cult au #♡mist answer's<3♡#sagau brainrot #holy shit this au is good #goddamn

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fanstuffrantings · 6 months

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Shadowheart: I worship shar. I'm sure you judge me

Jubilee: jokes on you I hate all gods equally. Don't try and convert me and I literally won't care. Worship what you want

Weeks later

Shadowheart: yeah shar put this thing on my hand that kind of will randomly hurt me when I do something she disapproves of and I also have amnesia because she decided I should

Jubilee: well that is definitely abuse, and since against my will I'm falling for you I simply refuse to let you worship in peace now. Sucks to suck but you are partially to blame.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #molten rambles #shadowheart x tav #jubilee only had one pseudo god mosf her life and it was a wizard who controlled her whole life #shes very much not religious

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shonpota · 6 months

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Ash-hadu an la ilaha illa Allah, Wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan Rasulu-Allah.”

Translation: “I bear witness that there is no God but God (Allah – i.e. there is none worthy of worship but Allah), and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”

If you read this whole heartedly, you are converted to Islam.

Locations of Islamic Center

In Japan:

Hiroshima Islamic Cultural Centre

ICCS-Islamic Cultural Center of Sendai

Fukuoka Masjid Al Nour Islamic Culture Center

Etc

In South Korea:

Seoul Central Mosque

Islamic Center of Daejeon (ICD)

Incheon Islamic Center

Busan Mosque

Etc

In Philippines:

MA'HAD MANILA AND ISLAMIC CENTER MOSQUE

Al-Huda Mosque and Ma-had Inc.

Cebu Islamic Center (Al-Masjid)

Etc

In Italy:

Centro Culturale Islamico (Moschea)

Milan Muslim Center

The Islamic Cultural Association Muhammadiah

Islamic Cultural Centre of Italy and Grand Mosque of Rome

Etc

In Croatia

Islamic Center of Rijeka

Islamic community of Croatia - Meshihat

Etc

In Cyprus

Selimiye Camii

Landmark of Hala Sultan Tekkesi

Osman Fazil Polat Pasha Mosque

In Canada

Canadian Islamic Center - Al Rashid Mosque

Islamic Centre of Cambridge

Muslim Association of Canada (MAC) - Edmonton

Etc

In Austria:

Islamic Centre of Vienna

Islamisches Kulturzentrum Graz

Etc

In Hungary:

Budapest Mosque

Masjid Al-Huda

Masjid Dar Al-Salam

Jakováli Hasszán-dzsámi és minaret

Etc

In Bulgaria

Banya Bashi Mosque

Grand Mufti Office

Etc

In Poland

Masjid Islamic Center Of Warsaw

Islamic Center Krakow

Muslim Cultural and Educational Center in Poznan

Centrum Kultury Islamu

Ośrodek Kultury Muzułmańskiej

Centrum Kultury Islamu

Etc

In Sweden

Islamic Center i Malmö - Moskén

Jönköping Islamic Center

Afghan Islamic Center in Sweden

Khadija Center

Islamiska Kulturcentret

Imam Ali Islamic Center Jarfalla

Islamiska Sunni Centret

Etc

In United Kingdom:

Islamic Center of England

London Muslim Center

West London Islamic Center

Brighton Mosque & Muslim Community Center

Greenwich Islamic Center

Reading University Muslim Center

Etc

In Ukraine:

Islamic Cultural Center in Kyiv

Association of Muslims in Ukraine

Mechetʹ, Islamsʹkyy Kulʹturnyy Tsentr مسجد

Ar-Rahma

Al Manar

Islamic Cultural Center "Faith"

Etc

In Romania

Mosque (Islamic & Cultural League of Romania)

Masjid Ar-Rahman

Muslim Sisters Association (Tayba Islamic central and cultural association)

Alquds Masjid

The Great Mosque

Etc

In Ethiopia:

Ibnu Mosque | Kolfe 18 | ኢብኑ መስጊድ | ኮልፌ 18

Jafar Mosque | Bole

Grand Anwar Mosque

In Iceland:

Moskan í Reykjavík

The Grand Mosque of Iceland

Islamic Cultural Center of Iceland

Ahmadiyya Community Iceland

In Estonia:

Estonian Islamic Center

In Denmark:

Danish Islamic Center

Islamic Cultural Center

Wakf, The Islamic Faith Society in Denmark (DIT)

Etc

In Netherlands:

Imam Malik Islamic Center Leiden

Mobarak Mosque, Ahmadiyya Jamaat, The Hague

Islamic Cultural Centre of Leidsche Rijn

Islamic Faith Foundationمسجد جامع

Noori Razvi Islamic Society of the Netherlands

Mevlana Mosque

Etc

In Germany:

Islamic Centre of Hamburg

Islamic Centre of Kaiserslautern

Islamic Centre of Munich

Islamic Community Frankfurt E.V Abu Bakr mosque

Etc

In Greece

Mosque of Athens

Al-Salam Mosque

Tzisdarakis Mosque ( inside Museum of Modern Greek Culture)

Alaca Imaret Mosque

Etc

In Finland:

Masjid Al-Huda (Helsinki Islamic Center)

Masjid Darul Aman مسجد

Tampereen islamin Yhdyskunta

Etc

In Haiti:

Mosquée At-Tawheed مسجد

Trouin Islamic Center

Al-Fatiha Mosque

In Guatemala

Mezquita Al Daawa Islamica en Guatemala

Mezquita Baitul Awal

Etc

In Iraq

Al-Sahla Great Mosque

Jalil Khayat Mosque

Etc

In India:

India Islamic Culture Centre, Delhi

Masjid E Ibad Ur Rahman - Islamic Mosque, Educational & Community Centre

Jubilee Hills Mosque and Islamic Centre

Etc

In Australia:

Australian Islamic Centre

Canberra Islamic Centre (CIC)

Coburg Islamic Centre (CIC)

Australian Bosnian Islamic Centre Deer Park

In Panama:

Musallah Villa Caceres(Shaykh al-Hadith, Muhammad Zakariyya Kandhlawi)

Madina Masjid

Jama Masjid

In South Sudan:

Main Mosque

Mosque of Mahad

In Zambia:

Noor Mosque

Luqman Mosque

Makeni Masjid Lusaka

Etc

In North Macedonia:

Colorful Mosque

Mosque Dukjandjik

Mustafa Paša

Mosque „Aladža“

Murat Paša

Etc

In Cameron

Yaounde Central Mosque

Etc

In Vanuatu

Port Villa Grand Mosque

In Lithuania:

Vilnius Mosque and Islamic Center

In Latvia:

Islamic Cultural Center of Latvia

Mosque - "MIRAS" Kultūras un Izglītības Centrs مسجد

In Tuvalu

Ahmadiya Tuvalu Mosque

In Albania

Xhamia e Madhe - Ebu Bekr mosque

Lead Mosque Berat

Namazgah Mosque

Etc

In Tunisia

Mosque Malik Ibn Anas Carthage

Great Mosque of Kairouan

Sidi Oqba

Etc

In Paraguay

Centro Benéfico Cultural Islámico de Asunción

Mezquita del Este

In Tonga

Masjid Al-Nedzla Balija Khadeejah

In Papua New Guinea

Mosque Hohola

In Marshall Islands:

Baitul-Ahad Mosque - Ahmadiyya Muslim Community RMI

In San Marino, Molossia, Palau, Cabo Verde, Czech, Nauru, Monaco, Micronesia, Kiribati, Georgia

None but hopefully they will build one, Insha Allah.

I won't write any islamic center in Israel because they steal lands from Palestine ☺☺

I hope I covered every countries who are abstain and against ceasefires

If you are talking with educated and professional Moslems about Islam, don't forget to share!!

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templeofoccultpractices · 8 months

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Bennu

Bennu is an ancient Egyptian deity linked with the Sun, creation, and rebirth. He may have been the original inspiration for the phoenix legends that developed in Greek mythology

Roles

According to Egyptian mythology, Bennu was a self-created being said to have played a role in the creation of the world. He was said to be the ba of Ra and to have enabled the creative actions of Atum.The deity was said to have flown over the waters of Nun that existed before creation, landing on a rock and issuing a call that determined the nature of creation. He also was a symbol of rebirth and, therefore, was associated with Osiris.

Some of the titles of Bennu were "He Who Came Into Being by Himself", and "Lord of Jubilees"; the latter epithet referred to the belief that Bennu periodically renewed himself like the sun was thought to do. His name is related to the Egyptian verb wbn, meaning "to rise in brilliance" or "to shine".

Depiction

The Pyramid Texts, which date to the Old Kingdom, refer to the 'bnw' as a symbol of Atum, and it may have been the original form of Bennu. In this word the shape of a bird is used that is definitely not a heron, but a small singing bird. The old 'Woerterbuch der Aegyptische Sprache' surmised that this small singing bird might have been a Yellow Wagtail ('Motacilla flava', but no clear reason is given.However, the same bird used in the spelling of a word 'bn.t' in a painted limestone relief wall fragment from the suntemple of the Vth Dynasty king Niuserre from the Old Kingdom, now in the Aegypisches Museum at Berlin (inv.nr. Aeg.Mus. 20038-20039), clearly shows traces of blue-grey paint on much of the body of this bird-sign, so that a different bird species was definitely meant. Shape and colour seem to point rather to a (Mediterranean) Kingfisher (Alcedo atthis) for whom, however, another name was in use: 'hn.t<y'= lit. 'the one of the canal'.

Traces of orange(brown)coloring existing on and also outside the chiseled glyph did originally not belong to this particular bird sign. They are caused by natural stains in the white limestone, as the higher lying layer of blue paint on the bird shows as well. The advantage of such bird identification might be, that a Kingfisher flying lowly over watery surfaces and shrieking loudly would be a reasonable mythical example for the creator deity Atum of Heliopolis as having risen from the first dark waters, called Nun, in order to start his creation of the world. If so, this Kingfisher 'bnw' or 'bn.t' is a good match for the mythical and cultic Nilegoose (Eg. 'smn') of the creator deity Amun in later periods, imagined to having been honking loudly in the primeval dark above the still waters in order to bring forth all creation by its voice.

New Kingdom artwork shows Bennu as a huge grey heron with a long beak and a two-feathered crest. Sometimes Bennu is depicted as perched on a benben stone (representing Ra and the name of the top stone of a pyramid) or in a willow tree (representing Osiris). Because of the connection with Osiris, Bennu sometimes wears the Atef crown, instead of the solar disk.

Possible Animal Model

In comparatively recent times, a large species of heron, now extinct, lived on the Arabian Peninsula. It shares many characteristics with Bennu. It may have been the animal after which Bennu was modeled by the ancient Egyptians during the New Kingdom.

Worship

Like Atum and Ra, the Bennu was probably worshipped in their cult center at Heliopolis.The deity also appears on funerary scarab amulets as a symbol of rebirth.

Connection To The Greek Phoenix

The Greek historian Herodotus, writing about Egyptian customs and traditions in the fifth century BC, wrote that the people at Heliopolis described the "phoenix" to him. They said it lived for 500 years before dying, resuscitating, building a funerary egg with myrrh for the paternal corpse, and carrying it to the temple of the Sun at Heliopolis.His description of the phoenix likens it to an eagle with red and gold plumage, reminiscent of the sun.

Long after Herodotus, the theme ultimately associated with the Greek phoenix, with the fire, pyre, and ashes of the dying bird developed in Greek traditions.

The name, "phoenix", could be derived from "Bennu" and its rebirth and connections with the sun resemble the beliefs about Bennu, however, Egyptian sources do not mention a death of the deity.

Chosen as scientific name of the bird

Remains of a giant, human-sized heron species, thought to have gone extinct around 1500 BC, have been discovered in the United Arab Emirates.That species may have been the animal model for the deity, Bennu, so archaeologist Dr. Ella Hoch from the Geological Museum at Copenhagen University named it the Bennu heron (Ardea bennuides).

──────⊰In Workings⊱──────

*Please know basic protections and energy work before attempting any deity work.*

*It is important to note that everyone's experiences are different and will work with spirits for different reasons. Some people may like a spirit while others will not and that's okay. Ask these spirits what they will work with you on as well as ask them if they can help you with whatever it is you need.*

Ideas for honoring or working with/worshipping Bennu

Altar

Create an altar/sacred space for your rituals and giving offerings for Bennu. Items may include

⬩An altar cloth

⬩Cup or chalice

⬩Incense and an incense burner

⬩Offering bowl

⬩Statue of Bennu or Bennu bird

⬩Yellow candles (you can use any color)

For more information on basic deity work and altar setups check out the deity work post.

Basic offerings:Bread, Frankincense, Game Meat, Lion Statue Myrrh, Sour Dough, Meat, Sun Symbols,

Rituals

Ideas for rituals may include

⬩Honoring creation and life

⬩Honoring the Sun

⬩Life and rebirth

⬩Summer solstice

⬩Ask him what else he can help with⬩

𓆀𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣𓅣

For more content relating to other practices/religions or pantheons follow my main blog for updates or ask me anything

If you have any more questions or wish to join a community feel free to join my 18+ discord server

Ask me anything on my blog

#Bennu #occult #witchblr #deity #witchcraft #paganism #pagan #pagan witch #witch #kemetic #kemetic gods #kemetic deities #kemet #kemetism #Kemeticism #neter #netjer #neteru #netjeru #neterism

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hiswordsarekisses · 3 months

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youtube

If you were a sailor, alone deep in the ocean and there was a storm, a hurricane, more intense than you've ever experienced. You were cold, and lost, it was dark and you heard war horns blasting on all sides of the ship, because although you felt alone, you were not completely alone, there was an enemy there, surrounding you. It was raining and the winds blowing, you were soaked and desperate for deliverance. You would cry out to the God who made the sea, who has calmed storms before.

You kept on crying out but you became weak and your call became distant, filled with hopelessness as you didn't see Him coming, you did not hear His direction and you battled believing that maybe you were not the apple of His eye after all...

This song, tells you what He replies out of the storm. He is speaking to YOU! Hear Him, believe Him.

The song is about meeting God in the depths of your life. In the low places. In the dark places. In the empty spaces of despondency, when you are tired and fight hell's perspective on what you see playing out in front of you. This song is about lifting up your head with hope that Abba's got you in His hand, although you might feel like you are drowning in questions, in fear and in weakness.

This song is about the cry of desperation that arise when you find yourself not knowing what to think and what to believe about who Abba is.

God is not just in the harvests, He is there when the seed dies and it doesn't have much hope to live, never mind be fruitful. He is there, watching, whispering.

He is present but we won't see Him, we won't hear Him unless we meet with Him and believe Him when He says that Harvest time will come again, it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, it might take longer than that, but He will lead you there.

This song is about those moments when you feel like you are at the end of your rope and there isn't much left. You're tired of waiting, tired of feeling the way you do, tired of thinking the way you do, and you don't seem to succeed in choosing life, or so the enemy tells you. Those times that your heart is so heavy that the spirit of death tries to steal your breath.

This song, and every song that will follow comes from the place where fear starts getting physical with you, because you've entertained fears lies for small moments of thinking. When fear gets physical, your body loses it's rhythms of life. Your heart does not beat as it should, your breath gets empty and lifeless, you shiver like you are deep in the winter, surrounded by snow.

This song is about those moments when you are surrounded by dark voices who lie to you and you start to become confused, just because you dared to listen. Fear tries to tell you, this is the end but it's nothing but a lie. It's nothing but false evidence appearing to be real.

We have been there and from that place, we cried out for YHVH to rescue us, we cried out to Him to save us and He did. He led us out of the storm that we were in and brought us to a place of being still, a place of trusting beyond what you see and what you feel.

Maybe you haven't been 'there' or maybe you have. We can testify that God is in the depths, there where no one else is and He wants to show us who He is, but there are only few who are able to buy that midnight oil from Him. He is calling for His bride to worship Him in the night hours of sorrow and suffering, in order to buy oil from Him. Without this oil, we won't see the Bridegroom face to face and hear Him say- "You've finished well faithful one."

This song is a cry to meet God in the low moments of your life, and to hear what He says to you there. Don't neglect buying oil in the night seasons, because that oil is the way we met Him in our darkest hours. Without that oil, you won't be able to stay awake in faith when the night gets rough and the wait long.

(Sarah Jubilee - Bridal Harvest)

#Youtube

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mattspinksjoyblog · 2 days

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Getting To Know Matt & Katie Spinks | New Blog Series Intro - Part 2

In starting our new series of Jubilee blogs and videos, we thought it seemed appropriate to revisit our personal story, especially how we were first awakened to the Gospel, the true Jubilee!

This is also available in Matt’s book “High On God,” chapter one.

So, I grew up in a semi-typical American home and family, Christian, kind of. Parents separated, Dad went to jail, moved around a few times. I ended up attending Lutheran schools for the most part, all the way through high school. I always kind of had an awareness of God. Looking back, I’ve always had somewhat of a strange inclination towards God. I did my homework as a youngster, because somehow I knew that “God” wanted me to do it. I used to talk to God, but never felt that much response. I was raised learning about Jesus and grace. It wasn’t much of actually communing with God, but general Christian teachings were present. (Does this feel like a cheesy summer camp testimony yet? LOL!)

In high school, I had two youth leaders. They were both very passionate, encouraging men. They always attempted to inspire me to live my life fully for Jesus Christ. They shaped me to have godly vision and plans for my life, to be a youth pastor or missionary or the like. They never pressured me, but encouraged me toward a spiritual life vision. I had always known that I wanted to love and serve God in some way. The problem was that high school, and life in general made me pretty disillusioned with the world. I saw a lot of hypocrisy in my religious schooling, and a major lack of passion in the church. I also had this pervading sense that as long as I was still in high school I would never be able to do anything that really mattered. Still, I didn’t want to drop out. I figured that I at least needed to finish school. But, I stopped trying to get A’s in my classes, began to just have fun as much as I could, and go to parties, etc. The last year of high school especially was experiments with LSD, DXM, marijuana, alcohol, and other drugs. I also spent a lot of time listening to and playing music. To be honest, though, I was all over the place in my head.

I would lead our high school youth group’s worship gatherings on my guitar, while at the same time being high on LSD. It was a strange time. I did not feel great about using drugs and being a youth leader at the same time. I wanted to live for God in purity. I did wonder if drugs could fit in there somewhere. A lot of my Christian high school friends were pretty confused in many of the same areas. We believed in grace and God’s love, so why couldn’t drugs, sex, and questionable living be included in there somewhere too? We didn’t know, and no one around us offered much clarity. We weren’t exactly talking to the adults around us about it, but amongst our friend group we were pretty confused.

Around the same time, through our youth group’s mission trip to Mexico, I encountered some radical charismatic type believers and missionaries. I met young people who were living together doing mission work and spending all day worshipping, praying, and telling people about Jesus. It made so much sense to me. I saw a glimpse of a new world. I so wanted to be a part of a group like this. They had more joy and passion than I had, for sure. They also seemed to be living honest and open lives with no double standards. Their way of life absolutely appealed to me! So, I made plans to join this mission organization and immerse myself in a new life-style. These missionaries lived as if they were hearing God, communicating with God in supernatural ways, and had a whole different culture of dedication. As soon as I was finished with high school I signed up to join this group of missionaries. I started off right away for a distant country.

As soon as I arrived, my training started in a whole new paradigm and culture of following Jesus. It was way more focused, intense, and dedicated. I joined a group of new students from around the world who were also being trained in missions school together. This year, 2001, was a very powerful time for me.

I remember, as I arrived in the foreign land, and was just getting to know my new school mates, going out to the beach with a friend who had also just recently quit doing drugs. We sat by the ocean and discussed if we thought that we could remain drug free, and how this new life was going to be for us. We both asked ourselves, “Is there not a way to be at least as high on God as we were on drugs?” We both were not even 20 years old. And, we both were sincerely asking one another that question. We promised that if we ever found out answers we would let each other know. It was such a genuine question, but we literally had no idea how to get high on God. We imagined it must have been possible. But, we honestly had no clue. I remember thinking how far away that reality felt. It was as if really living high on God would be only for the super spiritual person, or maybe for just a few special people that had figured out some weird secret. It took me until seven years later to encounter my first glimpses of someone who was experiencing these realities. I met a lot of spiritual people, but this experience did not seem to be happening with anyone. If anyone was experiencing this, they were keeping it quiet. I pretty much forgot about the whole thing for a long time. My first encounters with those who were high on God weren’t until the year 2008.

Anyhow, I continued on with this missionary group, completing six months of their missionary training. At the end of the training I returned home to Fort Wayne, Indiana to pray about where to go on assignment. The night after I arrived home, I did have a truly profound life changing experience. I experienced something I now believe to be the baptism of the Holy Spirit. All of a sudden, I began speaking in tongues, reading some of the thoughts of the people around me, seeing a bit of the future, and hearing God speaking clearly. It was amazing! It truly changed everything! I immediately went to my parents and told them everything I had ever done. I told them all the old secrets that I had kept from them, the drugs and other stuff that’s not really worth mentioning here. I began to really be focused and passionate for God. I have never abused drugs again since 2001, never again having a problem with alcohol abuse either. For the next seven years I helped lead youth revivals, lived in foreign countries, ran missionary schools, preached Jesus, built homes for homeless families, and was involved in all kinds of ministry work. Yet, as seemingly great as those years were, I was never overwhelmingly happy. My life is significantly different now, in some pretty incredible ways. I’ll get into that here soon! Holy Spirit!!!

During those seven years, I was absolutely dedicated to Jesus Christ. I still am to this day. However, what I am about to describe has often been hard to explain. It often confuses people. How I could have been so dedicated to God and yet lived day to day with such a feeling of lack? It can be especially hard to explain because depression has become so normal in today’s culture. No one would have even classified me as depressed, but compared to now...I truly was!

What do you mean depressed? What are you actually experiencing now? Isn’t it just a little warmth or a bit of future hope? I may try to use many different words, pictures, or ways of explaining, not because anyone reading this is stupid, but because I get asked these questions so many times, everywhere I go. In fact, the majority of this book will be to attempt to clearly explain what is different about my life now! As one of our friends once said, “The only problem left with this Good News is how to put it into words!”

One way to describe my experience is this...

During those seven years I was mostly driven by what some call the “fire of God”. I was mostly doing things responding to need and lack. I was motivated by a consuming passion to fix the world. I was trying really hard to get everyone “saved”. Needless to say, it was like carrying a ton of weight around with me all the time! I had a genuine ache inside me to see everyone whole and free. Now it’s not a bad thing to care deeply about the world, but it always felt like something was missing. As I went to bed most nights, I would lie awake thinking over and over again about what more I could be doing. I would think about how much the world needed to change. I had so much “fire”. That same fire of passion remains to this day, but I see now that there’s something profoundly different about it. There’s another side of the God-life besides working for God. There has come much more clarity now. That’s what this book is about. I really want to communicate a realm that has been revealed to me, to us, to the planet!

For those seven years, I was driven to help people, yet I myself was not happy. I was trying to serve and bless everywhere I went, but I did not feel full and overflowing. I knew all the Bible verses about, “my cup overflows”, and “the fullness of joy”, but I could not really describe how that felt. My message to others was always about getting more of God, opening the heavens, changing the world, or how to release the supernatural. My life and message had a certain underlying theme of how we were all off track and needed to get things right in order to save the world. I had so much passion! I loved God and others genuinely! Yet, my view of reality was not leaving me fulfilled! It definitely wasn’t producing happy healthy lives around me. My life was definitely not “joy unspeakable and full of Glory” as the Bible says in first Peter chapter one verse eight!

I would lead church meetings, and often we would have amazing music, amazing messages, and yet I felt dis-satisfied at the end of every one. I would go to bed frustrated at night. And, trust me, I tried everything I knew to shake this feeling. I kept thinking that maybe I just needed to serve God more or do more to change the world! I tried multiple long periods of fasting, intense weeks of study and seeking God, serving in far-away countries, organizing city church leaders in unity, repenting for everything I had ever done, etc. Nothing felt like it was working. I was just never seeing enough change in myself or the world. I felt like almost everyone was missing out on God. If I wasn’t doing enough in all my efforts, then surely very few of my fellow humans could be experiencing the real kingdom of God on earth. Like I said, no one would have considered me depressed. I seemed like the model of a good person. My frustration made me all the more motivated. I just became more and more disciplined. I just kept believing that eventually I would “break through.” I was so intense, and was forcing my intensity on my friends and all those around me. I would always be looking for an opportunity to challenge them to more prayer, more Bible study, more service to God and to humanity. I look back now and see that my intensity was hurting as many people as I helped in those days. However, I was doing everything that good spiritual leaders around me would have recommended.

It was during these seven years, that I played a significant role in starting up a small home based spiritual community in Indiana. I gathered as many friends and like-minded folks as I could to attempt to live as Jesus followers in a radical way. We started to meet in homes in 2005 forming our own dedicated group of believers. And, as you may have guessed, it didn’t take long before I was challenging them at every turn to do more and more and more! We met seven nights a week! I had them scheduling every hour of their day out on paper, showing it to others in the group for accountability. We all became convinced that we needed to make sure that each of us were growing more intense and disciplined each day. We wanted to see more supernatural activity. We wanted to hear God more clearly. We wanted to see our city and world changed! The intensity continued. I was a part of several local and international ministries. I was putting every ounce of energy into it.

I was married during this time, and my lovely wife, Katie, joined right in with me in our intensity. We criticized and even dis-associated ourselves with “hypocritical” family members. We wondered how long it would take until the world would change, if ever. We were not going to be a part of that old system. We would call out and challenge anyone who we thought was a part of that system. We were speaking the truth in love, so we thought. We weren’t even always rude. We still probably looked quite spiritual to many people. Many folks commended us for our dedication. They said that we were great examples and very humble Christians. We didn’t really care about that stuff though. We honestly just wanted God to be glorified and we were going to do whatever it took to get the most people to glorify God. (My wife was much sweeter about all this than I was, just for the record, hehehe!)

BUT THEN WE GOT HIGH!! AHHHHHHH!!!! YAY! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

In the year 2008, everything changed! The burden was lifted! We began to have a completely different experience of God, life, and everything! And, here’s how. Here’s how the hammer of the Most High fell upon us, LOL...

On the very first day of 2008, we were at a large spiritual gathering for prayer. During one of the meetings, a whole group of us began to speak in tongues. As we did, I felt literal spiritual winds blow through my belly, my body, my soul. The whole rest of the day I was in some sort of trance, and could really the spirits of people around me, literally I felt them. I also heard God in an amazing way that day, more clearly than ever before. Something opened up for me there. It felt amazing, and I was very aware of having a tangible relationship with God in some kind of new way. However, that wasn’t the biggest thing to happen to me that year. Really, I didn’t even feel high there. That experience of love was still just scratching the surface of what was about to happen in the next few months.

Something else worth noting happened at that same gathering as well. It was there that I met my first group of “God stoners”! (That’s just a random term I am using, not an actual title they had. LOL!) Now, at first I didn’t really know what was going on with them. It was a group of 12-15 young people that I kept running into, in the midst of countless thousands at this huge spiritual gathering. Yet, these guys were easy to spot because they were always laughing and falling over. You could always pick them out of the crowd. They also kept using their finger to poke the people around them. Whoever the person was that they poked seemed to get high and would start laughing and fall over as well. These guys would stand in one spot together for a long, long time laughing and just falling down and just kind of praising God in the spot where they were.

I decided to observe this group of whackos. To be honest, they made me pretty upset and irritated. But, I couldn’t figure out why they bothered me at all. They were just laughing and falling. Why was this making me upset? I did know that I had never seen or experienced this myself, so maybe I just thought that they were faking it, or maybe I just didn’t like what I couldn’t understand, or something like that. I remember watching them for like an hour. I was obviously struck by what was going on. I kept wondering if this kind of behavior was beneficial in any way. I wondered if their lives were fruitful. I saw something later that day that really spoke to me in that regard. This same group of people prayed for a man in a wheelchair. They prayed with him, and hugged him for like an hour. He got up out of the chair! He was healed! They seemed to be the only group at this entire massive spiritual gathering with the kind of power flowing through them to heal someone so afflicted. Still, I just thought to myself that these people were pretty weird. At the end of the few days gathering, I couldn’t quite figure out what truly bothered me about them. I decided not to give it much more thought.

My wife and I had gone to the gathering together. We left feeling encouraged, but mostly, life was the same as ever for us. We were becoming more disciplined, we thought. We kept becoming more and more intense, spiritually.

Then, something started changing. Within a couple months of that gathering my wife began to seem a bit intoxicated when we would pray together. It wasn’t every time, but sometimes. We had been watching some videos from a particular female missionary in Africa who would often behave drunk when in prayer or while preaching. So, at first, I thought that my wife was just copying this woman. Maybe she was trying to act more spiritual or something I thought. At first, I would take my wife aside and try to tell her to stop. My wife was getting high on God, and I would rebuke her for it! I remember rebuking her so harshly one evening that I made her cry. She was just genuinely being touched and influenced by God, but I didn’t understand it. So, I tried to shut her down. Thankfully, that only lasted a couple of months. We were both about to get blasted in a wonderful intense way!

On with our story! At that time, we would often lead city-wide prayer gatherings around our region. We would help with leading music and singing. This was all still during early 2008. However, one of these gatherings was about to have an interesting turn of events for us! We had been asked to lead the music and prayer for a gathering on a local college campus, to pray for the campus and “contending for revival”. As it went along, about half-way through the gathering, I felt to sing a particular song with lyrics about opening up the flood gates of heaven. I was really feeling determined to keep singing this song until we saw something powerful happen. We literally sang that same song for like 30 minutes, but nothing noticeable happened. I broke several guitar strings from the intensity with which I was playing. Eventually, the meeting ended, and we all went home.

The next day a married couple who we had just recently met called Katie and I over to their house to share some food and prophetic experiences with us. We had seen some cool things in the lives of these guys. They were humble and yet powerful in the things of God. So, we excitedly drove over to their house to hang out. They shared several experiences and words with us that day. They prayed for us, and even laid hands on us to release some spiritual impartation. The most powerful thing for me, though, was a comment from the man of the house, a comment made almost in passing. It was a statement that has forever changed my life. He began to describe, kindly and with much appreciation in his voice, the city-wide prayer gathering from the night before. The couple had been present there and seemed to have enjoyed it, at least somewhat. The man began to talk about the song that I had sung about opening the floodgates of heaven. And, here’s the statement he made that changed my life forever. He said, “It’s really great to sing a song about opening the floodgates of heaven, you know, as long as you know that the heavens are already open.” I laughed, and said, “Yeah, totally, of course!” Truthfully, I was struck to the heart at that moment. The words he said there resounded within my heart and mind for days afterward. This was the first time that I had ever truly realized the truth of what he had just said. We finished our beautiful time of fellowship with the couple and went back to our home. Yet, that phrase stuck with me. To this day, I can still feel it! I am so grateful to GOD!!!!

While I pretended to understand what “the heavens are already open” meant, it was obvious that I didn’t understand it at all. Surprisingly, this was finally the beginning of my journey down the rabbit hole of the genuine message of Jesus Christ. A spirit of revelation was coming over me in a powerful way! I was hearing the Gospel for the first time! This message was somehow standing out as strikingly different from what I had previously believed! Let me say that, even as you read, this may seem like no big deal at first. I have come to see, however, that many people are just like me. I had previously thought that God wanted me to get the conditions just right before He would heal and restore the planet. I had come to know that God wanted healing, joy, life, and passion in people’s lives. Yet, I thought that these things would only be made real if we could, “rend the heavens”, and get God to come down, or if we could make something really happen through our prayers or fasting strategies. Maybe then this heavenly life could be ours and our cities and world would be transformed!

All of a sudden this new message was rocking the understanding built previously in my life. I had valued God and His Presence coming to us supernaturally. I knew that God was the solution to all life. The issue was that I thought that something was stopping God. I was totally convinced that there were massive spiritual barriers and hindrances of many different names and sources. I had been taught, or somehow come to believe, that God’s presence and blessings were at best only partially accessible. Now my heart and mind were being opened to a new possibility. What if heaven and earth were totally unified and open to one another? What if the Glory of God was all around, already flowing to all His creation like a waterfall, like a river?!?

This was early 2008, a time I now look back to as the greatest turning point of my life. It was a big set up! Not only did I see new things demonstrated by a new message that was changing my life, but at the very same time I was being introduced to a whole new community of folks who were experiencing this reality.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention by name some of the people I was introduced to at that time. Through two different friends, my wife and I began to plug into the conferences and work of Georgian & Winnie Banov, John Crowder, Benjamin Dunn, and Heidi Baker. You may be familiar with these Glory folks, or you may not. But, they had all either loosely or directly been associated with the Toronto Blessing movement of the 1990s. It was a controversial revival that has proved out to have borne amazing fruit over the years that have followed. It was marked by great joy, laughter, and tangible experiences of the Glory of God.

During this time, one friend gave me a book by John Crowder, and another friend recommended Mr. Crowder’s videos. Through John Crowder, I began to listen to the music of Benjamin Dunn. Through both of these guys we began to attend conferences with the Banovs, and Heidi Baker.

While we were hearing from these ministers, my wife and I began to experience heaven! They spoke of a heaven that was nearer than we had ever dared to believe. Over the early months of 2008, believe it or not, we would be laid out on the floor just laughing and being overwhelmed, not by any change in circumstances really, but by a tangible felt Presence of God. Simply put, we would get overwhelmingly HIGH! Both my wife Katie and I had done drugs in the past. This was far greater! We began to feel a whole body buzz, a euphoria, a deep joy, a love for all, and so many more things which will be described later in this book! The only way to sum it up is to say, “We were high!” When we would gather with like-minded believers we would get so wasted, so jacked up as we would celebrate! It would then remain when we were alone, and on even into all kinds of circumstances. We began to feel God’s heart so powerfully. We felt a love that was so far beyond what we had been able to muster before! Oh my GOD!

At that time, Katie and I would have a daily prayer time where we would spend an hour or two together each afternoon. Normally, it had been filled with pleading and crying out for so many things in prayer. All of a sudden, it was as if we were struck mute. (We actually were completely mute sometimes!) We would come to our prayer time already so overwhelmingly happy. All we could do was just sit and smile. There was just an absolute sense that Jesus had already finished it all. At that time we thought, “What more is there to pray for?” Heaven had come down! Was heaven already on earth? We laughed, smiled, and sat there in the tangible warmth of God.

This truly was the most transformative time of our lives. It was as if we had finally heard the best news in the cosmos! It changed everything. We became such satisfied people. We became such happy people. We felt so whole. And, the feeling of being high was constant! We would wake up stoned, and go to bed high, on God alone. It was amazing. It was exhilarating. It has never stopped!

After that time, we have continued to learn and experience so much more depth to this God-high. We learned a lot more about the Trinity, and the Person & work of Christ. We began to see miracles. Our local home fellowship community was rocked, and many began to get high with us. People moved from around the country to join our community, to live high 24/7 with us. It has been a wild journey! It has not been without persecution and challenges. Yet, the Glory has remained! The Presence is still so thick, it’s incredible. Heaven is here to stay!

“Friends, drink, be intoxicated with love!” - Song of Songs 5:1 (HCSB)

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moons-rising · 1 year

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turning my progenitors into banescales has made me think about my clan's roots in fire flight so here's some scattered thoughts lol

clan two moons is now located in the sunbeam ruins, but it began in the ashfall waste, on the slopes of the great furnace. fittingly the lair, a town called sunstone keep, even now sits against the slope of a (much smaller and calmer) volcano named ashmother's rest (because according to old legends it was a spot where the flamecaller rested for a moment during the creation of the world).

quite a few clan customs still relate back to their early history:

despite literally being in light flight now, actual fire (often enchanted to burn without fuel) is still a very common source of illumination throughout the town.

while ashmother's rest is a largely dormant volcano there are still massive magma chambers deep below, bubbling quietly in vast caverns that serves as places of worship.

glassmaking is an important craft in the clan, often incorporating crystals and molten rock gathered from the magma chambers.

cremation is a common choice for dealing with the dead.

while all flights are celebrated annually by the clan, the most important and most extravagant are brightshine jubilee and flameforger's festival.

according to old legends it was the lightweaver and the flamecaller who together created the sun to illuminate the world.

#clanlore #it's the idea of a pleasant bright exterior #beneath which ancient flame still slumbers #flight rising

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sorcerous-caress · 6 months

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Don’t worry, I went to sleep and I’m at university and a whole adult so you aren’t corrupting the youth or anything.

Jubilee is a gold dragon sorcerer, and I have a hell of a lot of thoughts surrounding that she jokes that she’s biologically obligated to worship Bahmut but maintains that Justice really isn’t her thing. Her companions usually tease her about this because she’s generally such a goody two shoes but she maintains that compassion and justice are extremely different and compassion is the superior option by a lot.

I also think most draconic sorcerers have keener than normal senses with her large ears Jubilee is practically a radar dish and her sense of smell is on point. It’s very useful and actually is great because most illusions don’t account for smells so she’s quite good at sniffing them out. Unfortunately these overly keen senses can lead to some pretty severe sensory overload and she has to bury her face in someone’s shoulder and try too block everything out, I like to imagine Karlach bought her earmuffs at one point trying too help but Jubilee’s floppy rabbit ears are too big for them.

I also think that if Jubilee uses too much magic (aka runs out of spell slots) feral dragon brain takes over. She still retains her personality as a sweetheart so the worst she ever really does is hiss at someone and lay on Karlach like she's a warm rock but it's absolutely hilarious to watch their normal overly chatty and charismatic leader just go creature for a few hours. Jaheria and Halsien will wild shape to join her so it's bonding time.

The best and most practiced draconic sorceress in the lore of D&D can sometimes ascend to become actual dragons Jubilee has no real interest in this however Lae’del found out and is constantly badgering Jubilee to do it and be her Dragon mount. She maintains that since Astarion didn’t get to ascend it is only fair that she doesn’t either.

She says “my friends are my horde” like it's a joke, it is not she loves them, treasures them and guards them as fiercely as any Dragon would protect its horde. Other thing in her hordes included various insects (because she thinks they are neat little guys) and recipes (because she is a baker and cooking for people is her love language.)

I can not stress how much Jubilee adores each and every one of her companions because she does to pieces, even astarion (he is lucky Jubilee has more love in her heart than I do)

She seems so lovable, She is really keen on showering all the companions with all the love they never got, which honestly yeah. Love is the best medicine especially after traumatic events.

Halsin, Jaheira, and Karlach would probably adore her creature mode. First two because they can relate and Karlach because she thinks it's absolutely adorable.

She seems like the kind of person who is immune to being teased or bullied because she is so sincere and pure hearted that the offender just feels bad or backs off. Like if someone was mean to her, she'd disregard it and ask if they're okay or need help, completely taking people by surprise and making them feel ashamed of their actions.

Maybe she can be a sister or a friend figure to Asterion, god knows he needs platonic love so desperately. He is akin to a wet cat in a basket with a soggy cardboard cutout saying "adopt me" above it.

She does seem very selfless to a self sabotaging degree, Minthara would try to half a talk with her about it maybe. Halsin might encourage it or make it worse because he is like that too.

And the companions as her hoard thing, yeah, I relate to it! My sorcerer did the same thing, except it just resulted in them being more controlling, possessive, and protective.

I don't care what Mystra says Gale, you belong here.

Shadowheart sit your ass back down, I'm talking to Viconia when we get down there.

Vlaakith can suck my massive cock, Laezel, the gith hunters can claw you out of my cold dead hands.

Also, the second they unlocked level 11, they just flew everywhere. Even places that are walking distance, they just kept flying on buildings and forgetting their companions back down.

I made them carry my 100,000 gold worth gem pouch because it got too heavy, it was a privilege to the most favourite of the day tho.

Mostly Halsin, no one else really had the inventory space tbh. The dead clown body parts couldn't carry itself.

#♡anonstavs

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 9 months

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Legacy - a Malevolent Fic

The change was there. It didn’t excuse anything that had happened before, but it was there.

And if there could be no hope of moving forward, no hope of change because of past sins, then none of them deserved anything—and John deserved that hope. So. That meant Hastur did, too.

Part of the Surrogate series.

AO3

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“Your son?” said Arthur.

Hastur was silent, lightly holding Carrot’s reins.

Arthur knew he’d had children. Hastur had said so in the same way one might say I had warts and burned them off with acid—but that wasn’t the way Hastur said son now. “John?” Arthur tried.

No, said John. I won’t talk about this.

Shit. “Hastur. What is this about? Son? You said offspring stayed away from you.”

“I also said this was not my first attempt at parenting,” said Hastur. “I have raised several of my spawn in person. At least, until they grew to the point it was unsafe for us both.”

“Spawn? For fuck’s sake… how was it unsafe?”

“It is not our nature to be near one another. We need to rule; we are gods, Arthur, not mortals reliant on a family structure for survival. It is in our nature to conquer, and at some point, there will always be an attempt at rebellion.”

He doesn’t mean a fucking tantrum. He means deicide. A coup.

This was a lot. “Fuck,” whispered Arthur. “So is that who this son was? Someone who tried to take over?”

Hastur’s hesitation was heavy. “He was the son I loved. The one I chose as my nearest reflection.”

Arthur tried to parse that. “What?”

“I did not throw him out when he came into maturity. He had my skill, my brilliance, my talent. I kept him. How could I not? I shared my glory with him. I treasured him. And still, he betrayed me.”

None of this was actual detail. Athur tried not to jump to conclusions. “But what happened?”

Hastur skipped ahead. “I could have killed him. I had that right.”

Arthur felt like cold water spilled down his spine.

But we didn’t.

“No. I didn’t. I chose mercy. But he…”

He didn’t take it that way. I remember.

“Oh, now you remember?” Hastur said.

Shut up. I remember.Enough.

“Well,” says Hastur in a fond tone Arthur suspected covered many of this guy’s absolutely horrible sins. “Then you will remember that I spoiled him.”

“Spoiled,” Arthur repeated as if the word had no meaning.

“Spoiled. I never told him ‘no.’ I gave him whatever he wished. I shared my honor with him, Arthur, at the head of every gala. He’d even had songs at my jubilees written for him, specifically—not that Karloff’s music was as uplifting as yours. He was celebrated throughout the Dreamlands! That abandoned temple you found, before I threw you into the prison pits, years ago?”

“Yes?” said Arthur through clenched teeth.

“The image on the wall there was not me. I am still worshiped. That, my Composer, was him.”

“Holy fuck.” Arthur needed a moment.

The cart rattled on, wheels crunching, bed squeaking. Carrot shook out her ears to combat a fly, enjoying the mild weather.

Arthur had to know. “You still haven’t told me what happened.”

“He took a city under my gaze without permission, claiming it for his own, as an attempted foothold for dislodging me and taking my place. He led a rebellion—stealing some of my people, contorting their thoughts, confusing them with lies.”

“After all you supposedly did for him?” whispers Arthur.

It wasn’t supposedly. You don’t understand, Arthur. Taking the city was bad enough. Taking so many minds for his own on top of that was a direct challenge. He stole worshipers, says John in a hollow tone. By doing that, he said Hastur was no longer worthy of being worshiped.

Hastur gripped the reins tightly. “He led his army of stolen soldiers right into my court, attempting direct takeover. He marched on me, on Carcosa, on my throne—declaring my weakness and slaughtering my people. I had to kill so many; their minds were broken, and they hurled themselves against me like waves upon a rock.”

“Oh, fuck,” Arthur whispered again.

“But I didn’t kill him. I didn’t want to. Are you going to tell me I have no right to do as I wish in my own kingdom?”

He’d shouted that.

Carrot trotted on, unconcerned.

Arthur swallowed. “What did you do?”

“I had mercy on him. I still had to make an example, but I was careful not to do permanent damage.”

We ripped out his throat and clawed his face, said John.

“What the fuck?” said Arthur.

“All perfectly healable. There won’t even be a scar,” said Hastur. “This was nothing.”

“But you ripped out his throat?” Arthur repeated.

“It wasn’t as dramatic as you’re making it out to be,” said Hastur.

We humiliated him. Humbled him. Made him kneel. He’d never knelt in his life. John’s voice was thick. We did… that. Then we threw him the fuck out of the kingdom.

“I told him to come back when he understood,” said Hastur. “And I know he understood.”

Sure he did. That’s why he never fucking came back.

“I gave him mercy. He was and is highly intelligent. He understood.”

He didn’t see it as mercy. He thought you were saying he was so far beneath you that he wasn’t worth killing.

Hastur hesitated.

That. That hesitation, right there—Arthur jumped on it. “You know you fucked up.”

“My only mistake was being too permissive.”

Arthur breathed rapidly, his teeth clenched. “I don’t give a fuck if it’s what all you fucked-up deities do to their kids,” he said, low. “You did that to your son! He trusted you, and you did that to him!”

He’d shouted that.

Carrot trotted on, unconcerned.

“I had every right to do much more!” Hastur growled back. “He knew that! Everyone knew that! I had mercy!”

Arthur was like a dog with a bone. “But now that you have Faroe, you get it, don’t you? You feel it. You fucked that relationship, and you’re doing everything you can not to fuck this one!”

Easy, Arthur, said John, unexpectedly. He really believed Gokar'luh would come back. I believed that. None of… us… have ever loved a kid the way Hastur does Faroe. It’s completely new territory. It’s why everyone’s so fucking confused about her place. After a moment: I understand it better now than I ever did then.

“You understand nothing,” Hastur snapped.

Arthur exhaled slowly. This wasn’t like with Larson. It wasn’t. This was no innocent little girl, begging her father for help as he slew her. This was complicated. “How long ago was this?”

Hastur didn’t answer.

“Hastur?”

“He will come back.”

I don’t think so. Especially now that he has to have heard about Faroe.

Hastur scoffed. “If he was truly on the verge of returning after six thousand years, I doubt the news of a human child would have stopped him.”

“Six thousand…” Arthur breathed.

To… us… that isn’t that long. But it’s long enough. He’s not coming back.

“Of course he is. Are you going to tell me he wasn’t brilliant? That he did not know my heart? Of course he’ll come back.”

John fell silent.

So did Arthur. He wondered if Hastur’s chest felt as heavy as his. “You lost your son,” he said, low.

Arthur, be careful.

“I’m sorry,” said Arthur. “That’s all I’m saying.”

“I did not lose my son.”

“Sounds to me like you did.”

“He will come back.”

“No, he won’t. You lost your son.”

Hastur suddenly turned on him, robe distended with surging shapes as if he’d lost control of his form. “Certainlynot the way you lost your—”

Arthur’s left hand shot out and gripped Hastur’s wrist. Listen!said John. Listen to me right now! This is fucked up. Everybody’s hurt. Don’t go there!

A long, terrible moment later, Hastur settled back in his seat and in his human form and in his denial and said, “He will come back.”

Arthur said nothing.

“I didn’t want to kill him!” Hastur abruptly argued with no one. “It was my choice. I still don’t want to kill him.” A pause. “Maybe after this, I will approach him. Maybe I will bring him home. Perhaps he fears my wrath if he returns. Perhaps that is the reason. Perhaps I should gift him Yhtill, as a sign of peace.”

Arthur clutched his chest. It hurt. It all hurt. The error of a father, losing his child—it didn’t matter how different the circumstances were. This hurt. He turned his face away, wiping his eyes. “I’ve never seen you treat Faroe that way, at least.”

“Why would I ever treat Faroe that way?” said Hastur in genuine confusion.

Arthur was beginning to understand Hastur too well. He wanted to jump on that, too, to go down the road of how unselfaware ARE you? He didn’t.

The Hastur of six years ago wouldn’t even have understood this much about himself, about relationships, about parent and child. There had been change, and it was because of Faroe. Arthur swallowed and went quiet.

So, said John, trying to redirect. So. What’s up with this “Oracle” shit?

Hastur snorted. “Gokar'luh has set himself up as some sort of… seer for hire. Utterly beneath him.”

But he has no ability to see the future.

“Correct. That isn’t how he does it.”

Ah, said John, low. I get it. He’s running mini-mind-takeovers every damn visit.

“A genius for breaking minds—damn near equal to mine—and a talent for altering emotions so subtly it’s close to swaying, even without a mark. Yes. Though I’m sure he often gives actual answers, too, he ensures those who leave without them still believe they received.”

“What?” whispered Arthur, sitting up.

What’s he doing for payment?

“He has a reputation for being particularly cruel in what he wants in return,” said Hastur as though it meant nothing, but his human hands tightened on the reins so hard that the leather creaked. “I suspect the desperation of his clients brings him pleasure.”

“He’s offering answers?” said Arthur, feeling chilled.

“Yes.”

“The very thing Faroe is looking for?”

Hastur went still again.

It didn’t sound like Faroe went that way.

“No.” Hastur didn’t sound sure. “No. There is no reason to assume that she did.”

Arthur shifted. “You’re worried.”

“No.” The reins creaked. “She would be in no danger from him, anyway. He isn’t a fool. He wouldn’t dare harm her. My son shares my intelligence. My skills.” He sighed. “And my singing voice. And my beauty.”

Arthur snorted.

“You are a plebian, and your taste does not count,” Hastur informed him lightly.

I don’t think he’s coming back, Hastur, said John very quietly.

“Of course he is. Once his tantrum has run its course.”

“He got all those things from you, did he?” said Arthur quietly. “Did he get your pride, too?”

Silence.

John gripped Arthur’s hand.

Arthur let it go.

Arthur lay in the cart under stars he could not see.

He’d learned by now that if he spoke up when he was “supposed” to be sleeping, Hastur would put him to sleep—a thing Arthur hated, though he understood why Hastur felt it necessary.

Hastur needed Arthur functional and in top form in order to find Faroe. Ensuring he slept was a purely practical means to that end. And Arthur loathed that loss of control—but he could see it came from the good desire to find Faroe safe and sound.

Fuck, that was complicated.

Except… it wasn’t. He understood more about Hastur these days, and it was a deeply uncomfortable understanding. Hastur was John with different stimuli and fewer limitations.

John, when they’d first met, would absolutely have shaken him until he bit his tongue to bleeding. John, when they’d first met, had murdered Parker for no reason other than he was there.

Hastur had not hurt him since that sort-of-kind-of apology before the Games. Arthur remembered. He’d waited. He’d watched. Hastur had nothurt him again.

The change was there. It didn’t excuse anything that had happened before, but it was there.

And if there could be no hope of moving forward, no hope of change because of past sins, then none of them deserved anything—and John deserved that hope. So. That meant Hastur did, too.

This was ugly, but it wasn’t complicated. It was simple—and the more Arthur thought how Faroe was affecting Hastur, the worse he felt about how he’d treated Yellow.

Gods, he’d fucked that up. Really and truly provided the worst possible stimuli to that slice of a deity.

I’m sorry, Yellow, he thought, and hoped that wherever Yellow was now, he had someone better to learn from.

He had to wonder how things would go when John rejoined Hastur again someday. When all of John’s changes were merged into Hastur. What would that be like?

Arthur couldn’t look forward to it with anything but heartache, but at least he could hope for a good outcome for them.

“You aren’t sleeping,” said Hastur from the front.

“Don’t put me under,” said Arthur quickly.

Hastur sighed. “Why must you always be so obstinate?”

Arthur could narrow that answer down: “Because I’m not done thinking for the night.”

Hastur didn’t immediately knock him out, so that was progress, anyway.

John’s hand slid across and touched Arthur’s, gently. Arthur gripped it.

“What are you thinking about?” said Hastur, to Arthur’s surprise.

“Legacy,” said Arthur with no forethought.

“Legacy?” repeated Hastur as if offended.

“How we become what we’ve been given, and then we pass that on, unless something happens to change it,” said Arthur. “Or unless we choose something else.”

“This seems an odd thought to have,” said Hastur, who was so clearly missing the point he might as well have torn out its throat and banished it from his kingdom.

“Not really,” said Arthur, softly. “I was thinking about my grandparents.”

Your grandparents? said John. You’ve never mentioned them before.

“I knew my grandmother,” he said. “A little. I mean, my parents died when I was six. My grandmother died… I thinkthe year before that? I met her once, when she came to visit us. It was a big trip, and really wore her out.”

What was she like? said John as if in awe.

“Stiff. Formal. At the time, I thought she didn’t like me.” Arthur shrugged, his shoulders sliding against the wood of the cart. “Now… I think she was just sad. It was such a journey for an old woman to make—took nearly two weeks, you know? And I think she knew she wasn’t going to see any of us again.” He swallowed. “I don’t even know which side she was on. My mother’s or my father's. I’ll never know, now.”

Humans struggle so much to retain connection, said John. Being so limited because of location…

“I do remember something, though,” said Arthur. “I was supposed to be asleep, and I heard my mother and grandmother talking. They were talking about my grandfather. She asked my mother if she’d been hit.”

“Hit?” said Hastur. “Ah. Domestic abuse? Or some form of discipline?”

“Abuse, you fuck,” said Arthur. “There’s never an excuse to hit someone like that.”

“I wouldn’t say never,” said Hastur, being an ass. “What if they tried to kill you?”

Arthur sighed. “Please. You know what I mean. Don’t do this tonight. I’m not in the mood.”

“Very well.” And Hastur stopped needling—because that was what he’d been doing. Not defending abuse, but poking to get a response.

This weird understanding between them was beginning to get frightening. Arthur no longer knew how to judge this forced family—the King in Yellow, a god, and Arthur Lester, his fucked-up human, and John, who was something in-between. “Anyway,” he said. “I couldn’t tell if it was because my father had been hit a lot as a child, and my grandmother worried he’d do it, or if my mother had been hit as a child, and might allow it. I don’t know. But it stuck with me. It’s part of my legacy, either way.”

You don’t hit people who don’t deserve it, said John. Though, uh. You have gone too far, sometimes.

“Uncle. And others. I know. I wonder, sometimes, where that comes from, when I… when I go too far.”

You're afraid you inherited it.

“Didn’t I?”

“No,” said Hastur, simply.

“If I did, there’s a chance she did, too,” said Arthur, softly.

“My daughter is pristine. She has no flaws in her DNA.”

“I’m not sure it’s that simple,” said Arthur.

“She has never in her life behaved in a way that was unwontedly violent,” said Hastur.

Arthur thought back to punching out one of his only friends when Bella was going into labor, and swallowed hard. “I hope you’re right. I don’t ever want to see her pushed that far. And maybe, since she hasn’t known me as her father, and doesn’t know my history, maybe… whatever legacy I have, she won’t pick up.”

John’s thumb stroked the back of his wrist. If she’s anything like you, she might be worth a damn.

Arthur smiled weakly. “Agree to disagree on that one, friend.”

Fuck you, John said with great affection.

Arthur closed his eyes. “Fuck you, too,” he said warmly.

And then, out of nowhere, Hastur said, “I want her to take after me.”

So that was a hell of a sentence.

And in the past, Arthur would have taken full offense. Would have assumed evil, or cruel, or calculating. But he had a feeling that wasn’t what Hastur meant. “Do you?” said Arthur neutrally, gripping John’s wrist and hoping he’d stay quiet. “In what way?”

“Strength. Wisdom. Power. The ability to defend herself. I want her to be respected. Honored. Worshiped. Safe.”

“Those are mostly outside of her,” said Arthur. “What do you want her to be like? As a person?”

“Herself,” said Hastur. “She is magnificent. She hardly needs to make changes to that.”

Arthur really was beginning to understand Hastur. “I agree,” he said. “Gods, do I agree.”

They fell into silence.

John stroked Arthur’s wrist.

Somehow, Arthur found sleep.

#malevolent #malevolent fic #malevolent pod #hastur malevolent #kiy malevolent #arthur lester #john malevolent #john doe malevolent #surrogate series

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