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#Janeway didn’t come to the delta quadrant to fuck around
sarasidlesaid · 4 months
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Less than a month into Seven being on Voyager those aliens give Janeway a headache and she drives the ship between two stars and I think maybe that was it for Seven. That was the “I’m gay” moment.
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ruthbaderjaneway · 1 year
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Starting the New Year Off With a Bang
An NSFW Janeway/Chakotay New Year’s Eve Fic
#25DaysOfVoyager
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The Voyager crew, recently returned from the Delta Quadrant, were gathered in a Gatlinburg, Tennessee cabin to celebrate New Year’s Eve.
Janeway and Chakotay were the hosts of the evening's festivities. They’d rented the cabin to have some alone time and decided to invite the crew for the evening. It had seemed like a good idea, but now they were regretting it. Not because they didn’t want to see their friends. But because they wanted more alone time to fuck like bunny rabbits.
They’d been dating for a month now and hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. The pent-up sexual tension from the last seven years could not be contained. They’d spent days having sex, but could not get enough of each other. They’d done it all over the cabin. In the bedroom, in the hot tub, on and over the pool table. Last night, they’d banged on the balcony overlooking the mountains. Kathryn had bent over the railing, and Chakotay had grabbed her hips and taken her from behind. It had been thrilling, being naked and making love in the cool night air. They knew they might get caught, but they didn’t care. They’d practiced self-restraint for seven years. Therefore, they were done with holding back.
However, now that the crew was here, self-restraint was necessary. They’d agreed it wouldn’t be hard to hold back for one night, Unfortunately, they’d miscalculated.
At least, Kathryn had. She stood on the balcony with Tom and B’Elanna and tried to
listen to what they were saying. They were sharing something about their daughter, but Kathryn couldn’t focus. All she could think about was what transpired on the balcony the previous evening. She ached to feel Chakotay's hands and mouth on her body. She needed to get him alone somehow.
“I think it’s time to break out the Romulan ale!” Kathryn declared. Her guests followed her inside, and they headed for the living room. Chakotay was already pouring drinks and passing them around. She wanted to push him onto the couch and ride him, but another idea popped into her head.
“Here’s a drink for you, Kathryn,” he offered warmly. She smiled and extended her hand graciously. She took the glass and pretended to fumble with it, then she spilled the blue liquid down the front of her sweater.
“Shit!” she cursed dramatically.
Chakotay’s eyes grew wide. “Oh no ! I am so sorry, Kathryn! Can I get you a towel?
No need to apologize, my love. Just pick up on what I’m trying to do. She thought.
Thanks Chakotay. I’ll just change my sweater. I'll be back in a minute.
She went to the bedroom and sat on the bed. She waited five minutes and then stuck her head out the door.
“Chakotay! Could you come here for a minute?” She shouted. “I can't find my sweater.”
A few moments later, she heard his footsteps coming down the hall. He entered the room and  eyed her suspiciously.
“Did you spill that drink on purpose?” he asked.
She closed the distance between them. She stood before him and held his gaze.
“Yes,” she confessed without hesitation
“I thought so,” he replied. Then he grabbed her and crushed his lips to hers. It was a long, smoldering kiss. It made Kathryn weak in the knees. Kathryn opened her mouth and sighed as his tongue caressed hers.  They kissed deeper, then he pulled away and took her hand.
“We should go in the closet. Just in case someone comes looking for us,” he suggested cautiously.
Kathryn nodded in agreement. She followed him inside the walk-in and promptly closed the door behind them. It had an archaic lock, but it would get the job done. She locked the door, and they threw their arms around each other. Their bodies mashed together and they kissed passionately. Kathryn felt him tugging at her sweater and helped him lift it over her head. Her shirt came off next, followed by her bra. Her breasts came free and Chakotay cupped them with both hands. He squeezed them, then leaned down and claimed a pointy nipple with his mouth. He sucked the hard bud and elicited a moan from Kathryn. She loved it when he sucked her tits. He orbited the erect nipple with his tongue and tugged at it with his teeth. She was on the verge of screaming. She needed to change things up before everyone heard them. Kathryn began unbuttoning his pants. He grunted and stood up. He stared at her hungrily and firmly placed a hand on top of her head.
“Get on your knees!” he growled. He pushed her down to a kneeling position. Kathryn’s panties were soaked before her knees touched the carpet.
Kathryn swiftly undid his pants. His erection sprang forth, and she grabbed it with her hand. She stroked him once, then drew him close and selfishly took him in her mouth.
“Kathryn…” she heard him rasp.
She sucked the tip of his manhood, then slowly took in the rest of his length. She deep-throated him. A strangled sound escaped his lips. She gripped the base of his girth and slowly worked her mouth up and down over his shaft. Kathryn closed her eyes and relished the feeling of him thickening in her mouth. She bobbed her head over his hardness, then opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of herself in a nearby mirror. Kathryn watched herself sucking his dick and thought she would come on the spot. It was hot. Oh. So. Hot.
Chakotay’s breath became labored. He gathered her hair in his fist and gently pulled her head back.
“I need you to stop, please!” he choked. She nodded and reluctantly withdrew him from her mouth.
“Stand up,” he ordered as he caught his breath.
She obeyed and rose to her feet. He stared at her intently, his eyes ablaze with desire. She held her breath and awaited his next command.
He leaned forward and hissed in her ear, “Get everyone out of this cabin. Now!”
She couldn't agree more. She grabbed the nearest sweater and hurriedly put it on.
“Keep your cock hard for me!” she ordered. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and headed for the living room. She didn't know how she would get people out of the cabin, but she was determined to find a way.
She walked into the living room and came face-to-face with Tuvok’s wife, T’Pel.
“Captain,” the Vulcan greeted her, “Thank you again for inviting us to this gathering, it has been a most enjoyable evening.”
“You’re welcome, T’Pel.” Kathryn tried to hide the impatience from her voice. She glanced around the room and wondered how the fuck she would get everyone out.
T’Pel cleared her throat, “Captain, I believe your sweater is inside out and backwards.”
Kathryn looked down and saw T’Pel was right. Her cheeks began burning. Clearly, T’Pel knew what she'd been doing in her bedroom. Damn it!
“Thank you,” Janeway muttered, not meeting T’Pel’s eyes.
“You’re welcome. Do you wish to end the gathering early?” T’Pel asked curiously.
“No, of course not!” Kathryn lied, a little too quickly.
The Vulcan wasn’t buying it. “There is no need to be embarrassed, Captain. I understand your dilemma.” T’Pel reassured her. T’Pel leaned closer and whispered, “I was experiencing Pon Farr when Tuvok returned from the Delta Quadrant. We required copious amounts of…privacy, during that time. If that is what you require now, I am happy to create a diversion.”
Kathryn was shocked. T’Pel was the last person she thought would make such an offer. But Kathryn sure as fuck wasn’t going to say no.
“If you could do that, it would be greatly appreciated,” Kathryn muttered.
T’Pel turned and got the crowd’s attention.
“Everyone, I believe it would be best to depart now. We don't want to miss the New Year's Eve fireworks display. It is logical that if we leave earlier, we are more likely to find a good location to view the pyrotechnics.”
The guests muttered in agreement and began gathering their things.
T’Pel turned back to Kathryn and nodded curtly. “It is done. Do not worry about your crew, Captain. They will, as humans say, take the hint. I hope you enjoy the evening with Commander Chakotay. Perhaps you will have your own fireworks display, in your bed chamber?”
T’Pel said this with a straight face, but Kathryn saw a hint of mischief in her eyes. Who would have thought Tuvok’s wife would be so open about sex?
“Thank you,” Kathryn said graciously. She bid farewell to T’Pel and the other guests, who thankfully did not ask questions. When they were gone, she giddily ran back to the bedroom. She found Chakotay lying naked on the bed, stroking his turgid cock. Desire filled her veins and she began undressing.
“Computer, dim the lights!” she ordered. The lights dimmed, and she shed the last of her clothing. She sat down on the bed, and he pulled her close. They kissed passionately, and he eased her onto her back. The energy in the room shifted, and she realized she wanted to slow their pace.
“Could we slow down, just a little?” she requested.
“That’s fine,” he agreed. He kissed her softly, then slowly trailed kisses down her neck.
“How’s this?” he asked.
“Perfect!” she sighed.
He resumed his descent. He slowly kissed lower, getting closer to her breasts. Her nipples puckered in anticipation. He cupped a breast with one hand and leisurely circled a nipple with his thumb. He worried it into a stiff peak, then drew it into his mouth and sucked it gently. Kathryn mewled with pleasure and ran her fingers through his dark hair. He moved to her other breast and took the sensitive bud between his lips. Chakotay sucked it gently and she moaned his name. He continued sucking, then kissed the nipple lightly and gently let it go. He looked up at her with lust in his eyes, but there was also a tenderness that she knew well. Chakotay had been looking at her that way for years. She loved the way it made her feel.
“How did you get everyone out so fast?” He asked with a smile. Before she could answer, he began trailing kisses down her stomach. It made her shudder with pleasure.
“I had some help from T’Pel,” she managed to confess, “apparently she’s been horny too…oh!”
Kathryn’s breath hitched when he reached the apex of her thighs. He pressed his lips to her warm flesh and began exploring with his expert tongue. Her hips bucked when he found her clit. He licked it with slow, perfect strokes. He worshiped the sensitive bundle of nerves, then closed his mouth over it and sucked it tenderly.
She moaned and surrendered to the sensations his mouth elicited. It felt so good, she thought she would die. She sighed blissfully and enjoyed his attentiveness. She felt an orgasm building and trembled as she came. It was a slow, full orgasm that traveled through her body and made her toes curl. When she came back down, she felt him climbing on top of her and positioning his hardness at her opening. She parted her legs wider and welcomed him in.
“Kathryn…” he sighed as he sank into her.
They rocked together slowly. He pressed his mouth to hers, and she tasted herself on his lips. They kissed softly and Kathryn shuddered with bliss. She thought they'd be having wild sex, after everything they’d done in the closet. But this was better. Their slow, leisurely love-making was a wonderful way to say goodbye to the old year and welcome in a new one. She heard fireworks exploding outside the window and the room illuminated with soft light.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too,” he returned. More fireworks crackled and lit the room up with a soft glow. It was a perfect moment Kathryn would remember.
Their leisurely love-making slowly gained speed. Kathryn relished the feel of his manhood inside her. She loved being filled with him, and she loved the steady rhythm of his cock, pumping in and out, in and out, in and out. Each thrust brought her closer to the climax of her ecstasy. She moaned loudly, then found her release and came. Her cries pushed him over the edge, and he found his release with her. They came together and rocked in perfect unison until they were both spent.
“That was incredible!” he gasped. They caught their breath, and she snuggled into his embrace. They watch the rest of the fireworks together and fell asleep in each other's arms. Hours later, Kathryn awoke and stared at the sleeping man she loved.
“I want to begin every new year like this,” she thought. She yawned and blissfully drifted back to sleep
This fic was inspired by the above image. The image is by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay. (There are some surprisingly sexy images on Pixabay! Highly recommend checking them out!)
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tunemyart · 2 years
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okay so some of you can attest to the nonstop where is Janeway??? thoughts going around in my mind watching Picard, and now that I’ve hit that line of Seven’s - that she actively wanted to join Starfleet, that she tried and was prevented, that Janeway fought for her to the point that she threatened to fucking resign - I have some new thoughts about not just where the fuck is Janeway?? but also why is Seven so alone??? which has been a close second question for me, and only bc the first very much has to do with the second.
These few lines - are a fucking goldmine.
The show gives Picard a lot of shit - and rightfully so - for his ineffectual, ego-driven resignation from Starfleet. And here we have Admiral Janeway threatening to resign - maybe (probably) equally ineffectually, which Seven probably also realized - for one woman
(gay)
The fact that Seven wanted to join Starfleet at all! She was opposed to it on Voyager the last time we heard! It’s entirely probable that when she got off Voyager she was floundering for some kind of order, some structure in which she could make herself make sense in a suddenly bigger, colder world outside of both Voyager and the Delta quadrant, and - there was Starfleet
bc, in no small part - there was Kathryn Janeway
it’s actually not surprising at all the more I think about it that Seven ended up pursuing Starfleet after all given the other ways she was consciously modelling herself on Janeway - importantly, in a way she chose, over and over and over again, to transform herself, and knowingly. Of course this would be the next step.
And then for Starfleet to say no - to halt that process in its tracks!
For Seven to be thrown back out to flounder in the void, no matter Janeway’s desperate attempts to give her a) the structure that she wanted and b) the path to complete her Janewayification!! (but only bc Seven was asking for it!) can you imagine how bereft Seven would have been stripped of both the promise of structure and Janeway herself
and going back to that conversation she had with Janeway in “Imperfection”, where she worries so much for Janeway when it comes to Janeway’s attachment to her - specifically Seven’s perception that Janeway is emotionally tied to the idea of Seven as a project (tacitly, but over her emotional investment in Seven as a friend), and her fears that she hasn’t lived up to or into Janeway’s hopes for her
is it any wonder that Seven, faced with a Janeway threatening to resign from Starfleet for her, ran away to become a Ranger?
bc let’s break down what I think this meant: I think she didn’t give Janeway a choice. I think she was so overwhelmed by the reality and gravity of what was happening, and unable to process it or the force of Janeway’s affection for her, that she just - left.
So she saves Janeway from having to compromise the thing Seven is unable to divorce her from in her mind - Starfleet - and equally unable to divorce her own unfulfilled shadow path from
She saves herself from the shame of not living up to what she - still! incorrectly! - perceives Janeway wants her to be
And so she runs away where Janeway - and Voyager crew - can’t find or reach her and talk her out of it and becomes a Ranger. And that’s why she’s intimated to have been alone all these years - because she chose it based on faulty data and emotions she didn’t know how to process.
I don’t think it’s a stretch at all.
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moocowmoocow · 4 years
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Because @cannibalspicnic is a horrible influence, I present:
When Janeway met Avasarala.
When Harry had told Janeway that the mysterious gate in front of Voyager had a opening in the vicinity of Uranus, her knees nearly gave out. They had had so many false hopes through the years that she thought she had built a strong forcefield around her emotions whenever the prospect of home beckoned. But the strong signals coming from the gate and the Doctor’s reassurance that the crew was fully conscious and in their right minds had given her more hope than she had since she first destroyed the Caretaker’s array.
Leaning over Tom’s shoulder, she checked the flight path. If the strange space in front of them proved to be no problem, they should be home in an hour at the latest. She mentally rolled her eyes at herself. Of course the strange space was going to be a problem. When had anything been easy in the Delta Quadrant?
She squeezed Tom’s shoulder. “Ready?” she asked.
Tom looked back and gave her a smirk that was reassuring in its familiarity. “Yes, ma’am.”
She let go of his arm and made her way to the command center. “Janeway to Engineering.”
“Torres here.”
“Are your shield modifications ready?”
“Aye, Captain.”
Janeway could hear a hint of happiness and excitement in her engineer’s voice. She grinned and looked over at Chakotay. “What do you think, Commander? Should we go home?”
He tapped the back of his hand twice. “Not dreaming.” He smiled at her. “I think we’re good to go, Captain.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Engage.”
Voyager didn’t even shudder as they entered the strange space. There was a large space station in the center, but it did not seem to detect Voyager as it slipped by it. The shield modifications must have rendered Voyager invisible to its sensors. As Voyager exited the gate that opened to Sector 001, Janeway let out a breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding.
They emerged in a solar system that Janeway knew as well as the back of her hand. Probably better, if she was honest. This had been entirely too easy. Something had to be - - -
“Captain,” Harry said, panic in his voice. “Everything is wrong.”
She turned to look at him. He was pale, staring at his sensor readings in shock. “What do you mean, wrong?”
“This is our solar system. But it’s not our solar system.” He shook his head. “There are no Federation signatures. Utopia Planitia and all other Federation bases do not exist.”
“Damn,” she whispered.
“Earth and Mars are still there,” he added. She could see him clinging the last remaining vestiges of hope. “It appears that most of the life in this system is concentrated on those two planets.”
The responsible thing would be to turn around and go back where she came. She can almost feel Tuvok willing her to do it. But she had come too far to turn away now. “Mr. Paris, lay in a course toward Earth, maximum warp.”
“Captain - “ Tuvok started to object
“I know, Tuvok. But since we’re here, we might as well look at home.”
He arched his eyebrow but did not say anything more as they made their way to Earth.
*
When they arrived, Earth filled their view screen. It was wrong, yes, with different coastlines and choking pollution, but it was still the Earth and it was beautiful. Janeway could not stop the gasp and the tears that flooded her eyes at the sight of it. Many on the bridge seemed to be in the same state as her, gazing in wonder and dismay at the planet.
“Captain, we’re being hailed,” Harry reported.
Janeway wiped the tears from her eyes. “On screen,” she said, her voice a little rough with the emotions swirling in her.
A human woman appeared on the screen, wearing what seemed to be actual gold jewelry with a purple jacket. Janeway saw that she was trying to hide her shock and fear, but she could not completely banish them from her eyes. “I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation Starship Voyager,” Janeway said in her most placating voice.
The other woman pursed her lips. “What the fuck is the Federation?” And Tuvok thought she was undiplomatic.
Janeway moved toward the view screen, putting her hands up in an effort to try to diffuse the situation. “We’ll get to that. Why don’t you tell me who you are?”
The other woman gathered herself together and tilted her chin upwards. “I’m Chrisjen Avasarala, Secretary General of the United Nations.”
The United Nations sounded familiar.  “It was an organization created after World War II, Captain,” Tom interjected. “It was supposed to stop more world wars.”
Avasarala narrowed her eyes. “You’re human?”
Janeway nodded. “I and most of my crew are. However, other members of my crew come from other planets that are members of the Federation.”
“But you came through the ring gates. How do I know you’re not some protomolecule shit?”
“You and your people are free to come and do any tests, but you’ll find that we’re completely human.”
“I’ll have to take you up on that.”
“Get your people together. We’ll transport you over.”
The other woman nodded. Janeway turned back to Chakotay. “Fuck,” she said, rubbing her hands across her face.
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annakie · 4 years
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Am I once again posting about the Voyager Relaunch Novels?  Yes.  Yes I am.
I am re-reading the Post-Endgame Voyager Relaunch novels and marathoned reading The Eternal Tide over the last two nights and all I have to say is Janeway and Chakotay love each other so much, I was literally sobbing through about six sections of the second half of that book.  
The Kirsten Beyer books are SO GOOD.  And as I’m re-reading them I love how she handles every single one of the Voyager characters but especially Chakotay.  I feel like she understands Chakotay and gives him everything the writers of Voyager never quite grasped about his character in seven seasons.  Full Circle is such a powerful story of his love and his grief, and the rest of the crew’s love for him (especially Tom, B’lanna, Harry and Sev-- wow his friendship with Seven is so awesome throughout the Beyer books, everything it should have been in the show and not what we got in Endgame.  The support they have for each other without forcing a cringey relationship back onto them adds so much to BOTH of their characters.  Hey this paragraph went way off the rails but I don’t care.)
Anyway I really love the plots of each of these books, I love how they handle EVERY character (well, I miss Tuvok -- at some point I’m gonna get to the Titan novels) and the new characters are pretty great (oh man Cambridge is a fave, and so much better than the new consular that was introduced in the Spirit Walk books.  Loved Eden, love Farkas.)
I made a post a few days ago about how Chakotay is the whole “upstanding, solid, good guy” archetype that some people dare to call “boring” I’ve previously talked at length in a post about Mass Effect about how that’s just... my favorite kind of character.  And Chakotay is just... so that.  It also made me realize that the Janeway / Chakotay dynamic is also very similar to a Shepard / Kaidan dynamic (powerful commanding officer of her own ship woman character, solid, good, honorable mature right-hand man first officer (or close to it) male character and maybe that’s why they’re both two of my favorite ships.
Anwyay here’s some spoilery thoughts about The Eternal Tide.
Chakotay telling Seven about his relationship with Janeway evolving before she died, and how he doesn’t think he’ll ever love any other woman!
Confirmation that Chakotay was thinking about proposing when they were supposed to met in Venice!??!  What!?
Janeway thinking about Chakotay right after her resurrection and how deeply she feels for him and wondering about how her death affected him!  Also I kind of love that Chakotay DIDN’T come to her mind when deciding whether to return to life or not?  This was her decision and making it about A Man I think would have made it feel less about her and how she knew she would be taking responsibility for The Multiverse, which is what it absolutely should have been about.  Realizing what her death would have done to him basically the second she was alive again... that part was so well written.  I loved it.  Her relationship shouldn’t become the basis of who she is -- but it adds to her.
Their... reunion... scene... almost being ruined by Q... Chakotay’s utter shock and disbelief and the description of him slowly beginning to have his heart open up to the possibility, him inching closer to her as she’s thinking that maybe she’s made a mistake and understands just how deeply her death hurt him... that.... entire... SCENE.  (Actually about once a year I dig that book and Full Circle out just to read their getting together / reunion scenes.)
Getting Seven’s reaction to Janeway was also very, very good.  I wish they hadn’t cut past the scene where the rest of the Voyager staff sees her for the first time but we did get a little taste of it.
Um okay and then Janeway tells Chakotay she loves him for the first time and he says it back, naturally but like, this is as Chakotay was preparing to go on a suicide mission?  SOBBING.  They didn’t even get a day together, but at least they got to say goodbye this time.
Janeway forcing herself not to think about Chakotay’s death because things just got so much more dire.
Yes they won, but Janeway all alone on the battle bridge and she can’t even bring herself to contact Voyager yet because she just needs time to mourn Chakotay for a few seconds and takes a few seconds, a few breaths, a few moments... and then... OMG.... Chakotay is returned by Godson Q just before his death and they’re so happy... I CANNOT.
THE EPILOGUE where they’re in bed and had spent every possible moment together and so casual and free and happy together... it’s everything we ever wanted for seven seasons and seven more books.
--
Oh I started this post now almost a week ago and now I’m a few books forward and hey am I now going to talk about Protectors?  Yes, yes I am.
J/C don’t get to spend a lot of time together in this book.  Janeway gets sent back to the Alpha Quadrant to undergo counseling and evaluation which, tbh, is totally valid considering she DIED A VIOLENT HORRIBLE DEATH and then WAS DEAD FOR FOURTEEN MONTHS and then you know RESURRECTED AND IMMEDIATELY HAD TO SAVE THE MULTIVERSE oh yeah not to mention WAS REUNITED WITH THEN HAD TO TELL CHAKOTAY GOODBYE FOREVER A FEW HOURS LATER then oh wait THE MAN SHE LOVES WAS ALSO BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD (or the brink of death, whatever.)
There’s a short and sweet goodbye scene then for the bulk of the book Janeway is back on Earth going to counseling (which, that second counseling scene was so great, and seeing her slow down and enjoy life with her mother was so great, and um also that scene with her and Picard?  Wow.  Just Wow.  Also I can’t wait to go back and read some TNG books because I need to see JL/B actually get together.)  And the entire time she’s just like... not even doubting her relationship with Chakotay even a little.  She thinks of him and is excited to be reunited but every time it’s like “the man I love” “The person I plan on spending the rest of my life with” and even “the love of my life.”  WOW.  Just Wow.  Chakotay worries a bit but never doubts.
Oh and then she basically tells her commanding officer “yeah um, thanks but I absolutely have no plans on curbing my relationship with Chakotay to make you feel more comfortable.  Also JL/B and Riker/Troi are all married so fuck you?”  She does agree to keep separate quarters on another ship which is like.. fine... whatever.  But also her going “Yes he’s my subordinate but we’re not going to let that affect our working relationship, we’re adults.” Fuck. Yeah.  Montgomery asks if they’re gonna get married and Janeway is all “IDK, probably? We’ll let you know.”
And B’Elanna asks Chakotay the same thing and his answer is also basically “Yeah at some point, we haven’t talked about it yet but yeah we’re spending the rest of our lives together now stop prodding me.”
Their reunion when she returns doesn’t go as planned and it’s a teensy bit worrisome at the end but with notes of positivity.
--
OK I’m only about 1/3rd into Acts of Contrition but I got to a part last night that made me put the book down for a minute and thank Kirsten Beyer out loud.
J/C finally get to spend some time alone several days after she makes it back to the fleet in the Delta Quadrant.  They have a brief discussion about The Plot, then Chakotay is like “Know what?  We’ll talk about The Plot Stuff tomorrow in the briefing.  Let’s instead talk about us.”  And then he stands up for what he wants!  And Janeway listens, and they talk, and agree!  And then Chakotay is like “Okay, now I really want to hear about what happened to you back on Earth for all those weeks!”  So... literally they just... sit and talk for several hours like, I don’t know, real people would?  There’s no drama!  And they both affirm their commitment to each other and their relationship!
It’s just... it’s... so good?  Their relationship is so solid!  They LOVE EACH OTHER and it’s based on their solid friendship (something else they actually say out loud!) and they talk to each other and there’s no like drama for drama’s sake about their relationship so far and it’s like, better than even any fanfic I’ve ever read (and there’s some great fic out there for these two) because nearly every other character is also getting their screentime and character development (minus Tuvok -- who’s off with Riker and Troi on the Titan and Neelix isn’t around much -- though he’s spoken of and we see him a bit when they visit New Talax).  Also it’s... beta canon.  No matter what, this is real and accepted beta canon.
I have been going back and listening to all the episodes of the Literary Trek podcast episodes about these books, and for Eternal Tide and Protectors Beyer herself was on the podcast and listening to her talk about Chakotay and Janeway both individually and as a couple her love for them both is clear, she loves the show and knows what she’s doing and is allowed to do it, and her writing is so damn good.  One of the hosts of the podcast has said in several episodes that he used to really dislike Chakotay as he was in the show and now book Chakotay is one of his favorite characters.  And honestly? I do love show Chakotay but book Chakotay is... everything show Chakotay should have been.  But he’s also been through hell and back and I love how Beyer used that experience -- and now Janeway’s resurrection experience -- to advance them BOTH individually and how that’s affected them as a couple now that they actually get to be that.
There’s so much other good in these books.  Tom and B’Elanna’s storyline and the way she writes them and their marriage... I could write so much about it.  Harry gets better characterization!  A plotline!  A promotion!  A love interest that may actually work out?!!? We’ll see.  And SEVEN. Wow. So much happens with Seven and it’s so great, I love her so much and Book Seven is again, even better.
Two more books have come out since the last time I read the series and the final book comes out next month, I can’t wait to see all the great moments Beyer has coming up for them.  It also makes me twice as happy that Beyer is so involved with Picard. It’s so clear the love she has for these two and I can’t imagine J/C not still being Alpha canon with her involved.
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impalaanddemons · 5 years
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Infinity
A/N: DO MY EYES FOOL ME NO THEY DON’T i wrote something. Very very inspired by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord and her fantastic loki fic. I had to do a Q one! Q x Reader,  Soulmate AU one shot, age of soulmate at meeting on wrist, reliving their memories at fiest touch Summary: The age of your soulmate when you meet is printed on your wrist. Sadly you got fucked over by destiny with an infinity symbol, so you guess you’re out of the game.
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You leant against a wall in Voyagers med bay, your hands pressed on your thighs and pushing air slowly into your lungs and then back out. You hated space. You hated the delta quadrant. You hated starfleet. You hated birthday parties were two crew mates shook hands for the first time in congratulations and learned that they were, in fact, soul mates.
Contrary to most of your crew mates you didn’t mind being stranded in the delta quadrant as much as others, mostly the young ensigns. There had been endless talk about their soulmates from the moment on they realized they were stranded: Desperation- the fear and realization of never meeting their soulmate or of never seeing them again if they had already been found. Confusion, because none of the ages on any wrists had changed. A faint hope that they would find a way back before. Endless theories based on those imprints.
And eventually the all pervading topic of soulmates and how it dominated humanoid life in the universe had subsided on Voyager and became a faint background noise nobody really wanted to talk about.
And now - this. This … unfortunate accident, this finding of soulmates, the energy that came with it had swept through the ship and had even tempted steadfast Janeway to offer her congratulations. And while the ship now brimmed again with talk and possibilities and a soulmate celebration to be held you had fled to med bay, yelled at the EMH - the poor doctor, you would have to apologize later - and then at some point sunken to the floor, staring gloomily at your own wrist. Where a number should be you only had a symbol of infinity, a lying eight - an undeniable ∞.
It didn’t even faintly look like an eight, which would’ve been slightly concerning on it’s own at your age, as you had hoped as a child. When you had still held your breath whenever you were introduced to someone your age. Then someone slightly younger. Then someone a lot younger. You had stopped hoping around your eleventh birthday when you couldn’t fool yourself anymore. It had been a long lesson of physics in class when you had been introduced to the infinity symbol and realized that there was nothing left to hope for. Destiny had fucked up. To you, all this symbol meant was a big fat ‚Nope‘ from the universe itself. You grew to resent the soulmate cult around your teenage years and were secretly glad when talk of it had died down on the Voyager some months after the displacement. Everyone had grasped the fact that they’d not find their soulmate for the foreseeable future and had come to terms with it. Just as you had to live in their world before, they now had to join yours. Fair play.
More tears welled up, you choked and sobbed until a pair of arms took you in, pulled you closer until your head lay on the chest of the Doctor. His movement was somewhat awkward - he was not usually the type to pull crew mates into his arms and his rather harsh disposition did not make him the first call for people in emotional distress anyway.
But, as he once had said to you, he was a hologram and his chances of finding a soul mate where as high as yours. Zero.
Soulmate festivities usually lasted two weeks - the union of two minds was celebrated after all and it was not like the Voyager was in a rush. What were two weeks compared to 70 to 80 years and everybody needed something to cheer up.
You had managed to avoid the first couple of days already and now with most of the crew nursing a hangover another person not leaving her quarters rarely raised anyones eyebrows.
You had pulled up your favorite shows, used your rations to replicate a rakhtajino and some, okay a lot, of comfort food that would definitely raise the Doctors eyebrows and had decided to enjoy the vacation your way.
That is until the yellow alarm sounded - you pulled over your uniform, just in case - quickly followed by a red alarm - you now put your uniform on in record time - and you rushed over to the bridge - your station as security personnel aboard Voyager.
The bridge was in disarray, to put it mildly. Chakotay way yelling something, a few people were running around headless - not literally - only Tuvok was at his station, pushing buttons, analyzing things, sciencing science.
„Commander Chakotay, Sir. Where’s the Captain?“ you asked, your eyes flickering over his exposed wrist as he lifted his hands for a second and then sighed. His number was not Captain Janeways age and would never be, you noted for yourself.
„In her Quarters. Good that you’re here, Lieutenant Y/N, come with me, I haven’t had contact with her.“
You nodded and then fell into an easy jog alongside his long strides through the ship.
„Sir, if I may … „
„You may“, he said and although he was tense you could see the glint of a smile in his eyes. „An entity we have encountered before has boarded ship a few minutes ago“ he then explained before you had a chance to open your mouth. Both of you turned around a corner and he saw the quizzical expression on your face. „Omnipotent. Extremely … dangerous.“
For a moment there you had a feeling that he had wanted to say something else. „Sir, I don’t think I understand … the red alarm …?“
„You’ll see, just stay alert.“ he sighed and the both of you turned around another corner.
„My dear Captain Janeway“ a voice drawled, sounding lazy and with a dark rich quality to it. „Q.“ the exasperated sigh of your Captain did not sound like an emergency per se, but that was not your decision to make. „How can you have a two week party without inviting me? All the indulgence, the raw hedonism“ you could hear a knowing eyebrow wriggle in his voice. When you and Chakotay entered the room she had just opened her mouth to answer and probably shut him down too, but the other voice interrupted her already. „And you already invited Chakotay“ a sigh followed your superior officers name and you had a moment to take in the figure in front of you - tall and muscular without being bulky. He had the physic of a cat and the smirk on his lips reflected in his eyes, inviting you and warning you at the same time. Your wrist began to itch as his eyes crossed yours and you pulled your eyebrows into a furrow.
„And who are you, mon petite cher?“ he didn’t bother with Chakotay who tried to raise his voice, neither did he care for the Captain demanding his attention. Instead he cocked his head lightly and when Chakotay tried to put a hand on his arm - what a macho gesture, you thought - the dark haired man vanished with a flash of light. His voice was now right behind your ear and a shudder crawled down your spine. Your wrist had begun to hurt - a burning sensation as if someone was trying to tattoo that symbol of shame with a hot nail onto your skin. „I’ve never seen you before.“ his voice dropped even more and you wondered at the melodic cadence when he talked.
„Leave her alone Q, she is my security.“ Janeway interrupted whatever he wanted to whisper and he threw his head back and laughed a boisterous laugh. You rubbed your wrist. „Security?“ he laughed again. You realized how tall he was when he had to bend down to your level, his dark eyes searching your face for something. „Oh dear Kathy, I don’t think she has it in her.“
You could feel heat rushing up to your face and neck at the offense and the blood rushing through your veins with fury. „Careful, Sir. I may not know who you are but I will - „
„Yes?“ he interrupted you the smile on his face almost excited, giddy with anticipation. „Oh you should have invited me last week, Kathy, there’s so much …“ he paused as if searching for the right word.
„ … fun.“
He lifted his fingers and as he did you lifted your phaser, pressing it right under his chin. But the man still smiled and as he smiled your world began to melt into this single moment, your eyes locked with his and your ears unable to hear Chakotays orders, only processing the sweet words this Q would surely say any moment now. Your wrist now burned giving you the distinct impression of your very bones catching fire in your hand. „Touch me and I’ll shoot you.“ you hissed.
There was no fear in his eyes. Only curiosity and pity.
He lifted his fingers. You pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. And then he extended his hand, grabbed your burning fist and turned it around. A second passed between the two of you as his fingers slid over the curves of the infinity symbol and then his eyes snapped up to yours. You wanted to say something, spit it in his face but then you groaned as a million memories crashed over you and into you.
You blacked out on the spot.
You awoke with a gasp for air and with a dream of drowning. A quick look around assured you of a couple of things:
you were in medbay and tucked in a biobed there
your head was dizzy and fuzzy and a strange feeling inside you stirred like a wounded animal
you felt somewhat uneasy but couldn’t possibly put your finger on it
the Q was sitting right next to you, his hands folded as he leant forward to watch you without blinking
For some reason you knew that the uneasiness and restlessness had to do with him. The glint in his eye told you so. An expression settled firmly between morbid interest and downright disgust.
„The fuck are you doing here?“ you muttered and let your head fall back onto the bed. You groaned. „You’re my soulmate.“ he sounded exasperated. „I don’t have a soulmate.“ „You do.“ he insisted and pulled his lips into an expression you had never seen before and couldn’t put anywhere. There was something of a snarl in it. „No.“ you sighed, tired now. „Look, it’s a nonsense symbol.“ „It’s my age.“ You let the moment of silent sit between the two of you. You wanted to call him a liar. Yell at him for playing hurtful games with you. Punch him in the face for the audacity to toy with you in such a manner.
But then you … remembered. Remembered the aeons, the millenia. Space and Time. All of it. Your head began to hurt again. „I don’t know where integrating my memories in your tiny ape brain will lead to …“ he said, more earnest now. „Thanks.“ you muttered while you tried to shut out whatever was bombarding your conscious mind. Your fingers tingled. „It was of course no problem to integrate the meagre years you have lived before.“ „Thanks“ you muttered again, this time more pointedly. How could destiny hate you so much? This - you looked at the dark eyes who stared back at you, the same disbelief in them - thing was to be your soulmate? „What … „ you took a deep breath, too tired to finish the sentence. „I’ll take you to the Continuum.“ it was strange seeing him this somber after his previous antics. And slightly unsettling if you had to be honest with yourself. „Why?“ you blinked. The memories of a lonely existence pushed themselves forward. Thousand of years watching neutrons and protons, observing the beginning and the end. Alone. He didn’t answer. „Do I have a say in this?“ He furrowed his brows ever so slightly. A mocking smile pulled at his lips. „Of course not, my dear.“ he bent over your bed the tips of his fingers grasping your face with utmost care. „You’re beautiful, mon petit cher.“
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weirdponytail · 6 years
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Ket’s Huntik/ST:Voyager AU, Pt 2: The Team
Of course this whole AU started out with the idea that Zhalia would be reclaimed from the ‘Organization,’ aka the Borg. The (glazed over) struggles that Seven goes through as she is forcibly transitioned from being like 80% Borg tech to human and her continuing search for her humanity and place on Voyager really struck me as similar to Zhalia’s story in a way.
Whenever I put it together in my head, Zhalia was part Nyxian (made up race of highly adaptable humanoid aliens) and part human. Everyone on the ship except Sophie and Lok know what she was before, and her remaining implants and tech (which Lok mistakes for cybernetics instead of assimilation remnants) make her stick out a bit, but she usually stays out of sight in the astro lab and in the Jeffries tubes. Dante drags her out of her cargo bay every morning and night to sit with him in the cafeteria, bribing her with flavored popsicles since she can’t actually eat anything.  He tries to get her to socialize but she practically refuses to talk to anyone but him and the EMH. Due to having 35% of her body still augmented with the Organization tech, much of the crew mistrusts her and is put off by her snark and dark humor, not realizing that her personality is a result of being in constant pain as her ‘human’ biology fights at stalemate war with her augmentations. She often has ‘relapses’ where her assimliation tech wins out for a few hours and new implants start to grow again. They have to be surgically removed, and due to the constant physical trauma she is forced to wear a black dermamesh suit (similar to Seven’s, but without the corset and Zhalia has the sense to wear some tactical team cargos over them. and no heels. boots all the way bro) that keeps her from acquiring massive full body infections. This doesn’t stop her from sneaking off on science away missions though, especially ones having to do with new tech. To combat some of her new awareness of the pesky emotion called ‘loneliness’ when the Captain is on duty, Zhalia programs a smart AI with a holographic projection of a Nyxian Nightcrawler (yes yes it’s just Gareon’s original form), and names it Gareon after the one she had as a child. 
Dante reflected some of Janeway’s flaws and conflicts as well. He was a natural leader but found himself suddenly leading a group that he hadn’t exactly planned for. Not only that but he did occasionally question his choices and had internal struggles as he had to choose duty and his emotions, both for Zhalia and for his father figure Metz. He loves to get his hands dirty making new discoveries and interacting with new people, if in his own special way, and always is on the move. A long term mission in the unexplored Delta Quadrant would be right up his alley. Not to mention finding a lady who can match him in wit who needs a helping hand finding her own way to whatever home would take her. ;) Despite his role as captain and the importance of his survival to the crew while they’re so far from home, Dante’s known to take great personal risks, sometimes for the safety of the crew and those he cares about, and sometimes for straight up ‘I wonder what this would do if I hit it with a stick but if anyone asks i’ll just swipe my bangs away and say I totally knew what it was going to do.’ He gets to spend the night in medbay pretty often, but the next day he’s right back at the helm calmly directing them to the next planet as if he didn’t just play intergalactic baseball with an exploding alien fruit.
Lok is…well, he’s Lok. When he heard about the Delta Quadrant mission in his Cadet classes he realized it could be his only chance to follow his disappeared dad’s trail into the Delta Quadrant. Sophie caught him sneaking around the docks while she was saying goodbye to Lucas and co., who were also on the mission to look for other Casterwills (pretty much human looking aliens that develop extreme mental powers as they age and were scattered all over due to the Spiral genocide). He managed to keep her talking to him as he got on the ship, and by the time she realized what he had done, they were taking off and were already at warp. Dante, having heard about his father, takes him under his wing but immediately puts both of the Junior Cadets to work on the ship doing rotating duty shifts. This introduces him to the crew and it’s whispered in the Jeffries tubes that ‘Lambert’s boy’ is on board. He’s one of the few people to strike up a conversation with Zhalia, mistaking the exoskeleton tech on the back of her hands for cybernetics, similar to the ones his sister uses for a muscular disorder, and isn’t really bothered when he learns that she was actually Organization.
Sophie is, as mentioned before, one of the last known Casterwills. Her powers are just starting to come to light, but they’re already strong and she’s got the mind the use them for the good of the universe. Lucas is not happy that she’s managed to get on the ship, but she very quickly shows that she’s not afraid to step up and thrives, despite having to translate her book knowledge to real world experience. She’s pretty enamored with Dante, but he quickly puts that down and this unfortunately shifts her attention to the way Zhalia follows him around. She’s the one that, while helping in the medbay, sees Zhalia remove part of her dermamesh regeneration suit and identifies the exoskeleton fused to her spine as Organization and flips the fuck out to Dante and Lok about it. Zhalia ignores her until she breaks into astrometrics to try and ‘expose’ the woman as a saboteur, only to find that she’s been working on a way to find Casterwills through their particular brain waves that can be sensed while orbiting a planet. Zhalia admits to making the tech as a way to get Sophie to understand that she’s not trying to hurt anyone and is very protective of Dante, but never really got the hang of ‘the humanoid initiation of interaction and proper response protocols.’  Sophie realizes that no, Zhalia’s not there to kill everyone, just awkward as fuck and outcast like Sophie was at the academy, and loops the woman into Friday night social lessons every week after her medbay shifts.
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Melody
Okay. This creation of mine has been beating me over the head. It’s titled ‘Melody’ because it’s an extension on the episode ‘Counterpoint’. Original, I know. lol. 
I need some input. I’ve already had help from the lovely @supernovacoffee (greatly appreciated). I’m not exactly sure where to take things. I’m not sure if the dialogue and actions quite fit our Captain and Commander. 
Let me know in the comments below! Good or bad! Anything! Send me a message, whatever you feel. I am a rookie seeking guidance from anyone and everyone. :D 
WARNING: It is NOT finished and has NOT been Beta’d. It has language and may contain triggers. It is angst filled and ridiculous. Thanks. 
             The Devore warships left Voyager at a standstill in their wake. Sounds of Mahler the only sound left after all was said and done. Chakotay, first to enter the Bridge, found Kathryn seated at his command post. Her legs crossed in their usual manner, protective arm folded across her abdomen, and a hand played pensively at her mouth.
               He didn’t think it possible that she could tuck herself into the chair any further, as if it were her own personal shield. Kashyk must have made her sit and watch in humiliation as he ‘took command’ of Voyager. Smug bastard.
               He approached to comment on their successful deception and was halted by her unsettling mask of, what seemed to be, indifference. Kathryn was lightyears away. She seemed to pay no mind to his presence; another troubling behavior. He cleared his throat.
                 Her head slowly turned up to meet his gaze and it pierced his heart. Unshed tears pooled at her lower lashes, the muscles around her mouth twitched with the rigor of holding such a tight rein on her outward expression. Her face could lie, but the torment he saw behind it spoke many truths.
               “Computer, terminate audio playback,” the music stopped at her clipped command. Her eyes bore into his, attempting to translate what her voice couldn’t convey.  
               “Kathryn. What did--,” his hushed query was interrupted by the remaining senior officers filtering onto the Bridge.
               “So good that the enemies just walk out on their own now, huh,” Tom clasped Chakotay on the back as he passed to the conn, “No one dares take Voyager. Heard she’s got one hell of a captain”.  
               She cleared her throat and pushed herself to stand. Tom was rewarded with the flash of a small smile as she stepped forward out of her first officer’s careful observation.
               “Indeed, Mr. Paris. Resume a course for home, Warp 6. Engage,” the ship hummed with life once more, Chakotay moved to intercept her. Kathryn side stepped and glowered at him in annoyance.
               “You have the Bridge, Commander.”
Her evasive maneuvers were becoming increasingly blatant as time passed. Kathryn was beginning to accept that she could hide nothing from him anymore. The fact that he read her like an open book only served to fuel her anger.
               “Yes, Captain.”
Chakotay’s icy tone struck her deeply before the doors to her Ready Room secured her refuge.
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
               He tolerated her absence for nearly twenty minutes before rising to confront her. A personal best, in Tom’s opinion. Something was seriously wrong. They won. They should be celebrating.
He hadn’t missed the tense exchange between his captain and first officer. Paris had grown to admire the way Chakotay perfectly complimented and appreciated the sheer fortitude that was Kathryn Janeway. Standing back as she constantly sacrificed a different piece of her being for her crew. While balancing the keen ability to foresee when she would dissolve into a self-destructive frenzy. Sacrificing too much. Too fast. Recklessly.  
               Tuvok arched an inquiring eyebrow, most likely premeditating his actions. The two did not see eye to eye, yet when it came to Kathryn’s well-being, both stood together. Unwavering. To uphold her when she could no longer do so herself.
               “Tuvok, you have the Bridge.”
               He rang the chime. It went unanswered. He rang again. The doors opened to a darkened Ready Room.
               She sat on the couch. Legs tucked underneath her body, arms hugging herself. Her face held no expression. Cautiously, he made his way to her. There was no change. He lowered himself to sit near her and let his eyes slip closed. He did not want to have the conversation that he knew was about to take place.
               Letting out a deep sigh, he laid a hand on her knee. Rage bloomed in his chest as she flinched at the contact. His jaw clenched painfully at the slight tremors that began to wrack her body. Chakotay withdrew.
               “How far? How much did you let him take, Kathryn?”
               His voice sounded foreign as the question hung heavily in the air. Dropping his head, he pressed again.
               “Do I need to get the Doctor up here,” she made a small noise in the back of her throat, pulling further into herself.  
               “I’m fine. Nothing happened. I just need to rest. Been a long day.”
               “That is a lie. And you know it,” she finally turned at his bitter accusation. It was true. Wasn’t it? She had been burying it so deep that she had trouble discerning reality.
               “How would you know,” she spat.
               “Damn it, Kathryn! I’m not an idiot.”
               “No. You aren’t. Are you?”
               “Why? Why do you do this? You know that I--.”
                Neither dared to speak. He had pulled them back to the precipice and now it was someone’s turn to jump. She resumed her vigilant watch over whatever was across the room.
               Again, a charged silence filled the room. How long could she wait him out?  
              “Are you quite finished, Commander?”
               The venom laced in her use of his title caused his aggravation to escalate.  
               “Reverting back to rank now, Captain? Distancing yourself from me again? Lashing out won’t change the past. It won’t take back what’s already been done.”
             Kathryn swung her feet out from underneath her and leapt from the couch. She stalked over to her desk, bracing herself on it.
              “You’re dismissed.”
              “No. I’m not letting this one go. Not this time.”
              She gave a dry chuckle at his insubordination.
             “You don’t have the luxury of making that decision. Now, I believe I told you to get out.”
              Kathryn sank into her chair and turned her attention to an errant padd.
             “I am not leaving this room until you and I have finished this discussion,” she slammed the device down on her desk with full force, damaging it beyond repair.
             “You really want to me spell it out for you? Fine. I let him fuck me. Is that what you so desperately needed to hear? Will you get the hell out of my sight or do you need me to submit it to you in writing?” She flung the broken padd at him and he let it strike him in the chest.
              Her brash admission was what truly slammed into him, leaving him breathless. His stomach roiled with such force that he had to swallow hard against the bile rising in his throat.
              “This is what I am now, Chakotay. The whore captain of the Delta Quadrant. Ready to spread her legs for anyone willing to show an interest. Perhaps we should advertise that offer during trade negotiations? Make things a little easier,” Kathryn’s flippant attitude was frightening.  
              “Now your duties as my first officer come into play. Go ahead. Advise me,” she stood and moved around her desk again, continuing without allowing him to interject. He huffed in shock as she pushed past him on her way to the coffee table.    
               “Is there an article in the Starfleet regulations that discusses the solicitation of sexual acts from starship captains? Is there, Chakotay? Because I need to know! We can’t stray from protocol!”
              Chakotay turned just in time to dodge the coffee cup that was hurled at his head. It clattered against the bulkhead and fell to the floor.
              “Stop staring at me like that! ‘Oh, pity poor helpless Kathryn.’ I don’t need you and your sympathy! GET. OUT. YOU GOD DAMNED BLEEDING HEART.”
              “Yes, ma’am.”
               Chakotay snapped his head to attention and strode out the door.
­­­*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
               Thoughts of Kathryn plagued his mind; she was often the cause of his late-night pacing sessions. The further he reflected on their argument, the more it disturbed him. He had grown tired of her recent obsession with impulsive and, ultimately, destructive behavior. The callous display in the ready room was very telling of just far she had come.
               “Computer, is the captain in her quarters?”
               “Affirmative.”
               He knew that the possibility of her being asleep was slim to none. Chakotay grabbed his jacket and made his way to her.
               Why couldn’t she ever just answer the damn door? He muttered in frustration after the fourth unanswered chime. Feeling bold, he keyed in the override code and stepped inside.
              Elbows braced on her knees and hair balled in fists, Kathryn was slumped forward in her easy chair. The bottle of Anterian cider he had gifted to her a few months ago sat nearly empty on the table next to her.  
               “Come for round two?”
               He came to stand in front of her, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
               “You’re drunk, Kathryn.”
               “Yes. I am. My drinking habits are no concern of yours. So, unless this is ship’s business, I’m going to have to, once again, ask you to get out.”
               “It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than a coffee cup and your unpleasant attitude to get rid of me.”  
               “I don’t need you to save me, Chakotay. I’m a grown woman. Capable of solving her own problems.”
               Slowly, Chakotay lowered himself to kneel in front of her. Taking in a deep breath, he prepared for the remainder of the argument. He would allow her hostility. He would take the blame. He would carry her burden. Those were the unspoken promises he had made to her years before.
                Her head slowly raised to meet his gaze. She opened her mouth to speak and it fell closed again. Kathryn laid back and crossed her arms over her face.  
               “How can you even look at me? After all that I’ve--,” her shoulders began to shake.
               “Kathryn. You were lonely. Vulnerable. That bastard used it to his advantage and you got hurt. That is what makes me angry. His actions. Not yours. Please understand that.”
               He reached out and rested his hands gently on her thighs, rubbing them back and forth, generating a soothing warmth. There was a small sense of victory when she moved to wrap her arms around him and tucked her face into his neck. She began to weigh heavily on his shoulder and he couldn’t help but smile.
               “How much of that cider did you drink yourself? Two glasses of the stuff and I’m just about useless,” his small smile faded when he didn’t receive a response.
                Chakotay pulled back to assess the situation. Eyes wide with panic, her face blanched. Kathryn’s hand flew to her mouth. She began to flail in his grasp, attempting to scramble for the bathroom. He swiftly lifted her and barely made it as she emptied, what he estimated to be, nearly a full bottle of cider. He braced her as she continued to dry heave to a point of alarm.            
               She coughed and gasped, her body spasming to bring up what was no longer there. She sagged in his arms, moaning in pain. He pulled her into his lap and pressed his comm badge.
               “Chakotay to the Doctor. I need an immediate transport for two from the captain’s quarters to Sickbay.”
               “Acknowledged.”
­­­­_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
               Kathryn woke to the sensation of something warm pressing her right hand. She opened her eyes and was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by low light. The less pleasant fact was that she was laying on a biobed.
               Chakotay was the warm object at her hand. He had it clutched between his own, his forehead rested against them, as if in prayer. She wriggled her fingers and worried eyes shot up to meet hers. He kept a hold, lifted her wrist to his mouth, and placed a kiss there.  
               “Doctor, she’s awake.”
               The sound of a medical tricorder alerted her to the hologram’s presence.  
               “How are you feeling, Captain,” the EMH pressed a few hyposprays to her neck.  
               “Like I’ve been in a fight with a Klingon,” she grimaced as a sharp pain lanced through her head.
               “Not surprising. I am recommending you take a few days of medical leave. It was quite a bit of work to pull your body from the acute shock it was in. I would suggest synthohol next time you wish to drink yourself into oblivion.”
               She brought her other hand up to cover her burning eyes. The pain in her head was getting worse.
               “You need to rest and take in plenty of fluids. Apart from coffee. Your blood alcohol level is still elevated. You will continue to experience pain, nausea, and dizziness,” Kathryn gave a despondent groan at the notion of her impending ‘hangover’. Chakotay moved to the head of the bed, tenderly brushing her hair back from her face.
               “I trust you will ensure that she follow my orders, Commander?”
               “Yes. She will be in good hands.”
               “She is right here and does not require around the clock surveillance,” Kathryn grit her teeth against the dizziness as she sat up. A firm hand came to support the small of her back. The medication had sapped all the energy from her, stopping any further protest against being cared for.    
             Wordlessly, Chakotay lifted her from the bed and the transport began. Her quarters materialized around them. His face was unreadable, but she didn’t dare study it longer than a few seconds at a time. The dizzy spell was intensified by the reassembling of her molecules and she welcomed the strong arms that carried her to the couch.
              He cautiously helped her to sit and headed for the replicator once she was situated. He returned with a glass of water and cup of tea. He settled next to her, their shoulders and legs touching. The heat from his body seeped into her bones. Like a comforting balm, his proximity ate at the damage that had been inflicted on her soul. She gave silent thanks and accepted the glass of water.
               They remained trapped in a pregnant pause. He was patiently waiting for her to share her innermost thoughts. Both knew that she would eventually give in. Somehow, along the way, her first officer had mastered an unspoken influence over her.    
               “I finally thought that I had found someone I could allow myself to get close to,” she took in a deep breath to steady herself. Her vision was fixed on the glass she hadn’t taken a drink from. Chakotay placed his tea on the table and turned to fully examine her.
               “He felt so familiar and…safe. Deep down, I knew it was all an act. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I was--,” she swallowed, “I was taken with him. Swept away by the notion of being able to let my guard down.”
               Kathryn shook her head in bitter embarrassment and shifted to rise from his reach. He swiftly captured her wrist and squeezed her thigh; gently, yet effectively, impeding her escape.  
               “You can’t be expected to be ‘Captain Janeway’ for every waking moment for, what could possibly be, the rest of your life. It’s not healthy for you. Or for those who love you,” the final statement stumbled from his lips before he could catch it. It was laden with unmasked emotion and meaning.
                Her lips parted to speak, but nothing would come. Her tongue came out to wet her lips as they regarded each other cautiously. She was almost certain if she contemplated her ‘feelings’ any longer, her head would split open.
               Her face must have broadcast the renewed pain that she was experiencing. In that moment, all the hesitation vanished from Chakotay’s movements. His warm hand brushed across her cheek and ran down to hold her jaw, cradling it as if she would break. As she considered his tender gaze, she thought she might. A single tear escaped her lashes and his thumb gracefully intercepted it.
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queenofzan · 7 years
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okay for the 5 things you'd change meme how about star trek (any of them) or harry potter
man i answered this earlier but i didn’t save or post it and my tab crashed LIKE A LOSER
anyway since i’m watching it right now STAR TREK VOYAGER
1. this is broad but LESS RACISM
1a. like pick a nation for chakotay and stick to it and do some fucking research and knock it off with the bullshit mystical “all natives are the same” crap. also eliminate that entire fucking episode where it’s revealed that LITERAL ANCIENT ALIENS literally TAUGHT NATIVE AMERICANS LANGUAGE?????
1b. NO BROWNFACE ON WHITER ACTORS PLAYING KLINGONS??? WHAT ABOUT “DON’T DO BROWNFACE” IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND, VOYAGER WRITERS
1c. can tuvok and chakotay get some actual characterization that isn’t “they’re right” and “they’re hot” and occasionally “they’re magical” like it’s okay to give your characters of color real roles (harry is included in this but less so, bc his role as voyager’s Designated Sufferer has actually led to filling him out)
2. can we have a sense of continuity? it’s weird how episodic it got after season 2 bc there’s always a vague sense of how far they are from the alpha quadrant/how far they’ve come. sometimes they reference stuff like “oh b’ellana’s been acting stand-offish for months” okay could we see that? before the one episode where it becomes An Issue?
3. KNOCK OFF THE SHIP TEASE OKAY FUCKING DEAL WITH IT LIKE ADULTS why don’t janeway and chakotay ever actually talk about why they are not dating? why don’t people in the main cast deal with relationships? they’re stuck in the delta quadrant for an unknown amount of time and they’ve compromised other federation rules and yet they just dance around each other for literal years
4. harry/tom/b’ellana tbh
5. WHY IS SEVEN IN A WEIRD CATSUIT WHAT THE FUCK
things i love in star trek: continuity, character development, thoughtful explorations of idealism
things i don’t love in star trek: UNRELENTING RACISM AT EVERY GODDAMN TURN
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