#It didn't feel right for me to assume

[hasellia]

My main thought watching the hbomberguy plagiarism video.

Original art by @ajthebumblebee ; https://www.tumblr.com/ajthebumblebee/709893248470106112/this-seems-to-be-what-ive-learned

#misogny #ajthebumble #Sourcing information is my passion #hbomberguy #artist on Tumblr #youtube #you tube #drama #lgbtqia #queer #Gonna copy down what I wrote in my YT comment. #Seriously there comes a point where just citing your sources is so much easier than the hoops these people jump through. #And it can be fun! I love looking at sources and just knowing who told me these ideas. #It makes me feel connected and in community; which I assume is the fear of every business major in marketing. #ALSO the fact that what got Illuminaughtii caught was that someone was stealing her editor's ARTSTYLE is not a coincidence IMO. #She wasn't mad because someone stole her creativity. She was mad because she thought someone stole her branding. #That's all an artstyle is to a buisness. It's sad that younger artist are taught that you're worthless without unique style. #It isn't plagiarism to innovate or add to it in a way that feels good and right to YOU. #Plagiarism isn't paraphrasing. It's saying you didn't when you did.

[magniloquent-raven]

yo, respectfully, i don't understand why some of yall are so worried about jim and olu kissing other people?

we already got "see, we don't own each other" from lucius & pete in s1, the writers seem comfortable writing not-entirely-monogamous relationships. and like. they both clearly still have feelings for each other, i'm sure they'll be fine my dudes

#jim had every reason to assume they'd never see olu again when they hooked up with archie (that's her name right?) #and olu kind of thought he'd get stabbed if he didn't let zheng kiss him so there's that 💀💀💀 #he mightve actually liked her? fr im not sure. but his feelings for jim were definitely stopping him from being 100% cool with what happene #maybe this post will age poorly and they'll end up being platonic besties by the end of the season but i don't think that's where it's goin #personally i really like that they're bffs first and foremost and they're just kinda clumsily figuring the rest of it out as they go #there's chemistry and romance and all that but they're not sure what to do with it and where the boundaries are #also side note crave refers to queen pirate lady as zheng in their episode summaries but when i googled her they always use her full name #in like. articles about the real person and stuff like that #so i don't know if just calling her zheng is. not correct lol. can someone tell me? #as far as im aware chinese names have different rules but i don't know what all of those rules are #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death

[magentagalaxies]

.

#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit #like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to #and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much #i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event #(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!) #and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student #like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to #and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid #like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either #i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation #like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time #but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence #and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing #(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student) #and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event #so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!'' #i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything #the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like #''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time'' #and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!! #but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too. #i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point) #and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc #bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering) #2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person #but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks #i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be #because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!) #even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon

[corfisers]

the thing about the dudebro discussion, the aita post, the willingness to just take at face value any accusations directed at a person you don't know, is that it's all so painfully transparent, it's so obvious that those conversations are happening at this scale specifically because it's about trans women. maybe it's just me, but you generally shouldn't be using certain terms for people unless you know that they are comfortable with them, and if you fucked up then apologize and move on (if we pretend for a second that the majority of dudebros weren't feign ignorance or just actively malicious to begin with). you should be aware that some things don't affect you the same way they affect other people, and you definitely shouldn't be giving those people potentially dangerous advice on topics that you personally aren't familiar with, this is the baseline, at least don't fucking put other people who were misled into trusting you in danger. and if an anon barges into your inbox with some wild accusations then you should stop and think "hey, why are you coming to me anonymously with no evidence to back any of this up, and in such a way that i have to reply to you publicly so more people get to see this" regardless of who it's directed at. like, those are all pretty simple things, or they should be at least, but because the targets are trans women and transmisogyny is so fucking rampant everyone has to bend over backwards to come up with excuses as to why treating trans women this way is perfectly normal and justified.

#transmisogyny #i'm not going too much into the aita thing because i've seen trans women express different opinions and i don't feel like it's my place #to talk over any of them. ik how i feel but i'm focusing on the part that i feel more confident about. which is don't give people advice #when you have no idea what you're talking about. like. those people trust you and turn to you for help and the least you could do is to say #“hey i'm sorry but i'm not the right person to ask” #i've been in a situation where a friend assumed i was tma and i didn't realize (i never said i was but we met in a game so like #minimum info outside of pronouns which were they/them at the time + some assumptions based on little things she knew about me like height) #and when she asked me about something that is not my lived experience i cleared things up. so the idea of just rolling with it instead #is so baffling to me. it's so irresponsible and disrespectful. it's hard enough already for transfems to trust people and you pull this? #the dudebro thing too. i hate being called a bitch (has nothing to do with gender) and ik that if i said so people would be like “yea ok” #could throw some completely genderless term in here as an example as well. people are usually fairly reasonable. but nooo not with dude #can't have the right to casually misgender a trans woman taken away from you. gotta make it look like that's not what you're doing either #infuriating and exhausting #benvey tag

[fantasy-costco]

Simultaneously hilarious and terrifying experience of an email chain slowly devolving in formality. Starts with a salutation and a sign off, two full paragraphs of communication. By the end of the email chain it's just 'great!! Thanks.' sent from my iPhone

#I never know how much to deescalate the formality by per email #Probably because no one has ever cared about it #Anyway! I'm going to grad school and I got offered a ta position 😊 #Which means lots of emails because I didn't actually apply to be a ta (didn't think I'd get in!) but one of #My favorite professors recommended me probably assuming I'd already applied #So I'm kind of doing everything backwards now #It's wild though! I'm First in family and academia still feels so alien to me #But I guess I'm better at it than I thought... #God please dont take this as bragging I have one thing that I'm good at and I think most grad students do some kind of assistantship right?

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Not sure if anyone is gonna care about this as much as I do, but I’m throwing it out into the MMFD Fandom ether here on Tumblr just in case.

So…Let’s discuss: My Mad Fat Diary character Zodiac Signs✨

I’ve done a bit of research (aka rewatching certain episodes lol) and some of their signs are confirmed:

Izzy is a Cancer (her birthday is near/on July 10th according to S1E1 when Rae meets the gang for the first time and Izzy is celebrating her 16th birthday at the pub)

Rae is a Sagittarius (she says this in S1E2)

Archie is an Aries (Rae says this in S1E2)

Chloe is a Scorpio/Sagittarius Cusp (her 17th birthday party in S2E5)

And I have a theories about what Finn and Chop might be but I can't recall if there’s ever been anything confirmed or any proof in the show...does anyone else have thoughts/theories or am I the only one that thinks about these types of things when I'm rewatching the show for the Nth time/reading or writing fanfic lol 🤪

#mmfd #my mad fat diary #mmfd fandom #my mad fat diary fandom #Izzy being a Cancer makes so much sense to me tbh #idk if Rae's exact bday is mentioned in the show but I get December Sag vibes from Rae opposed to November Sag vibes #I don't see Archie being an Aries but I also have only interacted with Aries women so maybe Aries men have different energy??? idk #I really hope this post finds the right people bc I need to discuss Finn and Chop's signs or I will just keep assuming I'm right lol #At first I thought Chloe might be a Virgo/Libra and it didn't feel right but Scorpio/Sag makes so much sense to me tbh

[punctuation-completionist]

you don’t have to answer this ask but wow how are you supposed to be the bad guy fucking apologizing for reacting badly to being told to kill yourself?? i hate this website

well okay hold up i never said i was the bad guy. i said there were misunderstandings on both sides and that i was sorry for an issue in one part of how i handled it. just one.

#ask tag #not counting #like um. i do understand that maybe this person's sense of humor is way different then mine okay #but like. they said that they didn't mean it legitimately and once they saw it was haarmful they apologized #for me to say ''i am glad i understand your side of the story and you understand mine'' i am not saying i'm the bad guy #there's really no ''bad guy'' in this situation as i see it because the world is more nuanced then that y'know #like. sometimes people have a sense of humor that you can't pick up on. it doesn't mean you shouldn't state your point of view #and say ''that wasn't how i want people to talk to me and i also won't let you do that'' #also the only part i really ''apologized'' for was that i used a term for them that was uncomfortable #i assume for gender reasons. and i understand where that comes from. if someone called me ''girl'' while arguing i wouldn't like it #whenever i said sorry after that i did my best to try and word it in a way like ''i am sorry this happened but it's not my fault'' #like how when. idk. someone's grandma dies and you say ''sorry for your loss'' you're not saying that you killed their grandma #you're just saying that you feel bad that the thing happened but not that it's your fault #and yes. i do agree that the situation may have been fixed if they just said it was a joke but hindsight is 20/20 right? #anyways. that's my take on the situation. #and like. idk. if they apologized and told me how they saw it. i'm gonna believe them because i have had WAY more malicious people here #like idk. there have been anons who have said wayy worse and there's no discernable reason for why they would #like that one anon who told me that i should get my arms chopped off or something. idk. i deleted it before i could commit it to memory #and that was on purpose #but like. my point is. there's worse people. and if i focus all of my energy about being mad over a person who made one joke in bad taste #idk just seems like a waste of time #at least that's my perspective on the situation. never said i was the bad guy. just sorry it happened #also sorry it happened so late at night for me! i need an ibuprofen and a bagel now

[coquelicoq]

today is the first time since i started playing that i think i might not be able to solve le mot wordle...i've got the first and last letter and i'm running through all the french phonotactic rules i know and i'm coming up with nothing. got two rows left but i don't even have any guesses. ô dictionnaire ne me déçois pas quand je suis dans le besoin...

#it resets at midnight france time which is like 4pm here i think. so at least i have some time #i was just thinking like two days ago 'wow i'm so good at french wordle. it's all that dictionary reading i'm doing' #you fool. you jinxed it #i do think french wordle is easier than english wordle assuming you are fluent in both. which i am not #but i DO have a really good sense of legal letter combos (because of the sheer volume of exposure i'm getting) #and so far that hasn't failed me. but today? idk guys. i guess that can only get you so far... #anyway the reason i think wordle is easier in english than french is 1) english has way more words. especially 5-letter ones #and 2) french spelling is actually incredibly consistent for the most part. whereas english...has a lot more options let's just say lol #but english wordle is easier for me personally than french wordle because english is my native language #[guy who didn't learn his lesson about not jinxing it voice] i've never lost wordle in english #french #games #to be clear i'm not looking up words in the dictionary to try to solve this wordle. i feel that would be cheating. #i'm just addressing my plea to the dictionary as i would to a god. you are supposed to always be with me you piece of shit #get back here and watch over me right now

[anirudhpisharody]

.

#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much #it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with #i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown #friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any #close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it #would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely #i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with #other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too! #it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes #it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know #like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk #to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that #i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that #it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have #more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i #don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so #they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine #wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine #and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom #which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn #anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed #i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight #shut up hanna

[hauntedtotem]

I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh

#I listened to all the calls when they 'leaked' but I didn't know they were leaks I thought lio posted that stuff proudly #I didn't know that they weren't meant to be seen by the public until just now lol #Anyways I'm pleasantly surprised people are talking about how fucked up they were #Bc tbh when I was like 'oh this makes peaches (and everyone else) look like a bitch kinda' the first time I heard the calls- #I thought I was maybe being too judgey or sensitive or something? #But now everyone else is like 'yeah they are all being bitches actually' im like. Oh! So I understood right and wasn't just overreacting #Mostly bc lio was ranting about being a conservative Christian and weird 'nuclear family values' on one call and my immediate thought was #'oh gross Im too biased against this man to be able to look at this- #-discussion objectively. I'm gonna think he sucks regardless of the situation and therefore idk lf im a fair judge ?' #So it's cool to get confirmation from other ppl saying 'oh no ur right he sucks and here's why' #this is the 2nd time this week I got 'no youre not just overreacting. Other ppl are upset too' validation abt a topic. cool #//shade #I'm sure there's plenty of found family groups online that are great but so many of the ones i hear abt feel like a cult imo #My mom is in a group where this dude calls her and other women there his daughters like lio does to peaches and it feels gross to me idk #Ik everyone craves found family connections but. Idkk it feels weird to be taking that in a literal sense and calling them dad/my daughter #Feels like introducing unnecessary power dynamics. #Theres a difference between 'oh this person is like family to me because we're so close' #vs 'oh i am adopting this person and assuming a parental position over them'. that sounds unhealthy I think ? #Edit I just found out lio posted a response but it's midnight and I have a date tomorrow I'm not watching that rn lol #imo both him and peaches are bad and idc if one is worse than the other or whatever. #Peaches has been two faced for a while; lio might've taken advantage of her bc he's kinda creepy. They're both saying the other abused them #This is like jade and julian talking shit about each other to me. Idc guys I hate both of u srry <3 #Iykyk

[themagical1sa]

"i like you and i blame you for making me feel this way" he said

i still think about it

#isa and the y/n experience #isa go to sleep challenge #except i Can't because i am going through a story arc for real right now #his squish for me evolved into a crush i think #like. romantic interest and alladat jazz. the whole shebang #i feel like this has been a long time coming and whatever happened last sunday was just his tipping point #i didn't want to assume anything (God. me and this specific sentence. I think we've found the theme for the story /j) so i just #let things happen first because i needed to be Certain (this mfing word too. guys I've figured out the plot theme /j) #im ngl i had an anxious voice in my brain going 'don't fall in love with me' for the past several months #but now that i'm dissecting it... there's a lot going on with why i had that string of thought #i'm very hyperaware of the dynamics shifting over time (especoally rn when i'm not enrolled for this semester) #not to mention my thing for crushie which has added conflict on top of the dynamics shift #we haven't interacted very much but i still have affection for him... yet on the other hand squishie's squishing me so hard i'm a crush now #the dynamics have changed #and then there's squishie's backstory that i will never detail so long story short: he's been on the receiving end of toxic relationships #and i've managed to become a major turning point that made him realize that he can be happy again #i've got a lot on my mind can u tell HAHA #i'm thinkin' abt alladis on top of wanting to be more objectively productive with my time off college AAAAAAAA #this wattpad fanfic shoujo manga webtoon morning romcom disney aitcom is getting too real @_@ #shoutout to my besties especially seraph who contributed to that label #my life has never been the same since the moment classmate bestie clocked me as a living wattpad fanfic back in january 24 #augh #anyway. i'm gonna... try to brainrot abt something else HAHA #shoutout to hug anon #if u're still here: bestie a lot of things have happened since u were last here #they were one of the og crushie/isa supporters from tumblr HAHA

[smoozie]

It is kinda a shame op disabled rbs on that "how can u be queerphobic and support the hermits?!" Post. I think I made some good points

#I respect ops decision ofc #I don't know if it for sure had smth to do with my addition #I feel bad if it stressed them out #I do assume it was related to my response because it was done shortly after I said smth #op disabled rbs and deleted the og post #but they didn't block me so I assume it was a ''huh that's smth to consider“ sort of situation #not mad abt it or anything #I just spent an hour at work trying to word it right #shame to see it lost #smooziespeaks #hermitcraft

[layzeal]

i know i talk about the tree scene a lot (deserved) but another thing i specifically like is that it wasn't a "test" of lwj's feelings. lwj catches him and what changes isn't that wwx believes lwj loves him back, it's just that wwx comes to accept that he, himself, is in love with him

#i know this doesn't make any sense im SORYY #it's just that #he's not testing lwj. when shijie wasn't able to catch him #he doesn't assume that's because she didn't love him #again. the whole THING about falling is that he would have been okay if he hit the ground #but falling still hurts. and if someone was there to catch him it would be more than wonderful #so he fell. and it didn't hurt #and he was finally ready to accept these feelings #IDK WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS IM JUST SAPPY #ugh. romance am i right #modao #lace speaks #look. it's just that it'd have been very easy to make it a test for lwj #''ill jump and jf he catches me then that means he loves me back'' no!! #he never assumes lwj's feelings!! this is about himself!! this is about what HE'S ready to accept #it's ''if he catches me. *i'll*''

[running-in-the-dark]

and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.

#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now. #but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point #is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice #and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that. #but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd #because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh #will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up. #that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that #but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff #either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit. #but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having #to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I #don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it #because my brain is bad and all of that. #maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca #and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and #it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just. #just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting #and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right. #and if I could the bad things would stop #I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and #doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard? #but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're #better at being human. #idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough #I'm tired of it #and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the #guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that #have to feel bad about now. #doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it

[thethingything]

I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #posts made on pain meds #I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever #but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave #I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up #I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault #and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to #I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in #and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen #like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept #than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it #and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do #and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening #and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that #but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse #also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this #I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly #I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection #I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline #hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma #I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything #which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place

[persistent-wallflower]

🫠🫠

#love being overwhelmed by getting more than 2 messages at once #anyway a friend I went to the uni with asked me why I didn't let her know that I'd be in a city right next to the one she's in rn sooner #but I didn't even think of doing that cause tbh I thought that she wouldn't really care but I guess it would be nice if I did and #now I'm feeling sorta like a bad personnnn and like I'm neglecting my relationships with ppl because of my insecurity again but #aaa it's genuinely hard to tell what's the right thing to do sometimes when your go to is assuming that #nobody would notice if you disappeared xcept your parents #which to be fair it felt like that's the case in some let's say friend groups I was in #but still. I'm with my family so I wouldn't be able to meet anyway #but it doesn't exactly feel right #stupid thoughts