#Im cutting up dont cut me down

[freebooter4ever]

I feel like people sometimes forget that janelle has been radical, gender nonconforming, and an epic storyteller from the start \o/ this SONG. Man this song was the entirety of my 2013 (the whole album really), i have all the lyrics memorized. I think ive listened to it even more times than the archandroid even

#They be like oooooh let them eat cake #but we eat wings and throw them bones on the ground #Im cutting up dont cut me down #Is it peculiar that she twerk in the mirror #and am i weird to dance alone late at night #and is it TRUE we're all insane #ARE WE A LOST GENERATION OF OUR PEOPLE? #Add us two equations but they'll never make us equal #She who writes the movie owns the script and the sequel #so why aint the stealing of my rights made illegal? #They keep us underground working hard for the greedy #But when its time to pay they turn around and call us needy #March through the streets cause im willing and im able #CATEGORiZE ME i dEFY EVERy LABEL #And while youre selling dope were gonna keep selling hope #Were rising you now you gotta deal you gotta cope #will you be electric sheep? #will you sleep? #Or will you preach?

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[jaarijani]

Käärijä Antwerp gig recap!!!

I HAVE THOUGHTS of course i do i dont shut the hell up ever you should know this about me by now

i arrived there at around 9 am bc of train delays but there were only 10 people there then and for the longest time it was just the 15 of us so 15 gang ily sm!!! i loved sitting and chatting with all of you you made those 10+ hours go by SO FAST ❤️❤️❤️

the tour bus arrived at around 12ish and we all stood around for a while until they finally came out

häärijä BEELINED to Ed, ignoring us completely, it was so funny

he was so sweet oh my god i love him 💛

while he distracted us Jere sneaked off the bus

as Jere walked back to the bus i saw him wave so i waved back and he came over to say hi!!! right in front of me!!! he was so sweet too 😭💚

you cannot comprehend how beautiful this man is irl oh my god

sidenote: he was SO surprised some of us woke up super early to travel all the way from the Netherlands

people started giving gifts and asking for pics and he said to form a line so we could all have a pic and he called himself santa claus lmao

i have the forbidden knowledge of Jeres height as he's exactly as tall as me 😈

OKAY THE ACTUAL GIG

it was so amazing???

his energy is so good and the audience matched him SO well today

he was CLEARLY feeling so much better today he was so happy and smiley and he seemed genuinely surprised by how crazy we were

we chanted käärijä after almost every song

VOITTAJA CHANT

i blacked out during hirttää kinni???? it was so good and its my fav at he moment and suddenly we were done??? no wait take me back

he talked about huhhahhei and said "when two guys go on a love boat together" paraphrasing but sIR!!!

AND THEN he did a whole bit about bojan again? he sang a little song wondering where he was and that he misses him and JERE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

i have a video of this btw

Emilia fucking SLAPPED icip again holy shit she matched his energy perfectly

i feel like he didnt want to go again!!! he just stayed and talked about doing what you love and being true to youself WHILE the reggae mix was playing

it was so fun so good i had an amazing time 💚💚💚💚💚 and am low key considering going to finland next year

also shout out to Ed @submariini and his amazing Häärijadar bc we share the same birthday??!!!! october 29 babeyy

#käärijä #jere pöyhönen #antwerpen gig #also shout out to goose for hooking me up with a VERY last minute sleeping spot!!! i owe u my life #i dont know your tumblr tho i apologise #but everyone was genuinely so sweet and nice and the queue was great!!! #we wrote down numbers and emilia herded us like cattle it was great #there were some guys trying to cut the line but we just. werent having it. #no i did not wake up at 4 for you to just cut in line and take a spot #gtfo #also jere gives the best hugs :) #and jesse was SO DONE w/ our bullshit cheering for him hdbdbshd i am not sorry youre doing great sweetie ❤️ #im still hopped up on adrenaline but im going to try to get some sleep #i still cant believe this was real #good night yall it was great ❤️ #mine #mine*

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

phone calls my detested

#i had to make a vet appointment and Wow i am not cut out for this whole independent adult thing lmfao #i had to write down a little script for myself... #i feel so bad for the receptionist i was stumbling and 'uhhhhh'ing my way through that call #fuck and when i was supposed to end the call. i didnt realize #I DONT KNOW THE PROTOCOL OKAY #do i hang up??? do i say bye??? she didnt say bye so was there something else i was supposed to say #she hung up so Yay but oughhhhhhh what the fuck #youre telling me people just Know how to carry a conversation? they just Know the routine? sounds fake #i had to rev myself up for the call too #put on a hat. put on sunglasses to trick my brain into thinking we're outside doing things thus fabricating confidence #phone in one hand fidget-dodecahedron in the other. Pacing #my brain is a normal brain that works perfectly fine thanks for asking #absolutely unprompted #i feel so connected to my neanderthal ancestors when i have to make a call #theyre being stalked by a smilodon... i have to talk to a person... same Fear <3 #no but fr whenever i have to talk to someone my thought process shuts down Completely and i forget that im a living human being #fight or flight - neither. freeze and play dead #i think in my next life... i would like to be... a decorative plant #perhaps one of those tall ferns outside a seaside barbecue restaurant #i'd Win at that life. id be so good at photosynthesizing & rustling in the ocean breeze

[snickerdoodlles]

regarding posting extra fic content that is not fic, but being worried about notifications... i have no idea how user subscriptions for pseuds work on AO3, but would it be a viable option to post those extra things under a pseud and then you can make it a related work to the fic in question?

it doesn't work! :( anyone who's subscribed to my main 'snickerdoodlles' username will get notifications for everything i post on AO3 that isn't anonymous because the pseuds still tie back to it. which is actually really convenient for me in every other case, but ajkfdjh.

right now i'm mostly considering building up a queue of tumblr posts that i'd want to copy over to AO3, then making a specific story post that's in my anon collection as i move stuff over. i can link all the story stuff together in the fics themselves, then take them out of the anon collection after i've finished uploading everything so that it's just one email notification at the end. my only hesitation rn is that moving a bunch of stuff over sounds very boring and i'm procrastinating it lol, but that's the only method i can think of atm that won't drive me completely nuts? i also don't really want anyone getting AO3 notifications from me to become associated with "not fic" either oof, i will cry if that happens 😂

#its mostly random extras i have for gone fishing series that i want to include too orz #like the long fic headcanon posts and some random snippets that are in the universe but not going to be full fics #i have the usernames and outtakes story already but i dont want to keep disappointing people with update emails that arent story updates #but im also eyeing various snippets because i'd like them to be easier to read/find but i dont want to clog up my ao3 with too many shorts #and im not sure how a bunch of notifications for them will go down >.< #on one hand i am DETERMINED not to fret over AO3 notifications because!! people who subscribed subscribed for a reason!! #logic says they want the notifications!! #but while im crawling towards being in a better brain space anxiety says i am So Annoying and need to cut down on how much i bother people #and there's a part of me that feels squiggly posting stuff that was always meant to be little snippets and vignettes instead of full storie #hjgjhgfjhfgjhfg

[demonio-fleurs]

my partner offhandedly said “what if they reveal robins background in season of the live action” and i went from having 1 concern about season 2 to like 2 in the span of five seconds

#the concern is i keep hearing they plan on cutting little garden which is absolutely insane to me #i dont think they’ll ever get to egghead in the live action but why would you set yourself up for that becoming a problem down the line??? #you really cannot cut out anything in one piece it’s all relevant #also them showing robins backstory before enies lobby would be absolutely horrible and i know im worrying about something that might not #happen but like after the a t l a live action i am more concerned about the one piece one #anyways. that’s my rambling for the day #ange rambles

[s0fter-sin]

AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOT ITS TEETH IN ME BUT I’M ABOUT TO BITE BACK IN ANGER

#take me back to eden is so ghost coded it kills me #like im shit at lyric interpretation ill fully admit that but it Screams ghost #‘i spit blood when i wake up sink porcelain stained choking up brain matter and makeup’ #‘room feels like a meat freezer i dangle in it like cold cuts’ SCREAMING BITING BITING BITING #its the butcher hanging from a meat hook imagery for me lads i Cant #and my god the soapghost of it all #just ghost lashing out bc he cant understand soaps attention #rejecting his affection and his care bc hes never felt a kind touch without it becoming cruel #and i know we dont acknowledge mw3 but #‘i guess it goes to show does it not? that we've no idea what we've got until we lose it #and no amount of love will keep it around if we don't choose it’ #losing johnny being the only thing that snaps him out of it and makes him realise that hes in love with him #‘no amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence’ that realisation turning his love inward and fracturing into hate #he couldve been with johnny they couldve been happy together #so he cracks and destroys every enemy he comes across as he hunts down makarov #leaving price and gaz behind as he lets vengeance consume himself #‘i have travelled far beyond the path of reason take me back to eden take me back to eden’ #but bc fuck mw3 soap lives and ghost finds him and they live happily ever after #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #ghoap #soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #take me back to eden #we’re a team. ghost team

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off' #but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one' #and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

[puppyeared]

If I close my eyes and concentrate realllyyy hard I can pretend im in my animal crossing room

#im in need of a change I don’t like the way im living rn.. a lot of my belongings were picked out for me #by people who thought their way of doing things was better and Ive had to find workarounds my whole life bc of how I live differently #Ive never thought of myself as someone who cares abt how their room looks. but i want it to have things I like even if its just preference #Ive thought abt it for a while and I dont think Im picky I just dont like it when ppl buy me things expecting me to use it the way they #expect me to.. I just end up with a lot of crap that I feel too guilty throwing away just bc someone thought of me #the only way I can describe my taste is that I know what I’ll like when I see it.. if I can clearly see myself making the most out of it #if I constantly have to use workarounds just to use smth you decided for me im not gonna wanna use it unless I have to #literally i could not be bothered to pull out a notebook and write down important information until I got a blues clues notebook #because I liked it and it made it fun for me to whip out that I actually wanna use it. yknow #so rn im trying to get a drafting table because the one that came with my loft bed is ass and I cant cut my prints on it #I end up cutting on the floor and my back hurts if I do it too long.. and I wanna get a bookshelf for my closet and a bench for my bag #things Ill look at and want to use because I already knew how I wanted to use it and just do it without thinking too hard #yapping #diary

[townslore]

discovery of the day

#im sorry i do Not see what everyone sees in this movie. although from the years of browsing the internet ive began to realize #that i actually dont know if people actually like the movie or not #why is everything so rushed #their romance felt like nothing to me because i dont KNOW what they see in eachother #listen you dont have to tell me straight up into the camera why they love eachother #but the aggressive kissing and cut sex scenes arent telling me much #i get that it came out in 2005 but cutting mostly every gay sex scene? even the kissing for the most part? #but oh we NEED to see this happy husband and wife doing it. yes im bitter #a german movie by the name of summer storm came out the year before this one and actually shows something that feels like actual passion #i sound like i need to see people doing it in these movies all the time I promise thats not it #but even the kissing? the thing i Actually like the most? the thing that makes me feel things? felt like nothing at all #and oh i forgot that this is a tragic gay movie where one of them dies. Oh yeah. forgot. #mentioning summer storm again: it actually has a relatively happy ending. feels good that i dont need to be reminded of how gay people are #doomed 24/7. #the romance started good. with jack telling the guy whos name i already forgot to get his ass in the tent already. #the Pulling his arm over my body thing. it was going great #THEN IT WENT SO FAST! WHY WAS HE SUDDENLY SO INTO IT! WHY WERE THEY BOTH SUDDENLY DOING IT #im sorry i expected a slighter slow burn than this!!! calm down cowboys i have no idea why you two like eachother all of the sudden! #i seriously thought they would show these little moments of tension #and it just growing bigger and bigger #until they couldnt take it anymore #that would explain the aggressiveness of it! why they were so desperate! but it literally just HAPPENED!!!!!!!!! #im sorry i. I expected more of this movie that i hear so much about. #the most it made me feel was at that moment that turned into a meme where i thought “Hop on fortnite” #chuckled. that was it. did i cry? did my heart race at any moment? was i worried about what was gonna happen? not Once #im so. Disappointed. #after this i wanted to watch summer storm but netflix removed it. Its a german only movie no one knows from 2004. where the hell am i gonna #🏴‍☠️ that #AAAGHHHH!!!!!!! #not being able to watch summer storm made me cry more than this movie did What the hell

[dorkicon]

bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind #for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at #and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years #only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down #despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down #so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen #and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it #and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first #--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane. #and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl #bc of course they dont give a shit about the library #they just care about how scary the queers are #and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town #and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time #(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the #--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right) #when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting #the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display #its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages #talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w #--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens #sourse: i was one of tgose #and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk #and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look #--elsewhere #bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater #--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education #i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too #but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in #--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on

[soldier-poet-king]

my gaming pc is just????? shot to hell???? IDK WHAT HAPPENED ive been trying every fix i know for the past 3 hours to NO avail and it's like

at this point i might have to take it in but idek WHERE to take it, i bought it custom in 2020, and i have fairly decent knowledge and have taken it apart and reassembled it, but whatever this is, is beyond my ability to diagnose\

i am truly just. SO upset. i would gladly welcome an asshole mainsplaining techbro into my home rn if he could FIX THIS without my having to spend a zillion dollars and play the anxiety waiting game for a professional diagnosis

#the duality of fran #yeah yeah there are worse things #but i wanna play bg3 and cry #im very small and very tired and overwhelmed #fans are on incl gpu fans #so i dont think its a power issue #BUT power button light isnt on and pc wont shut down unless i cut off the power at the outlet #like i cant just hold to shut down #let alone get a signal to the monitor #tried resetting the cmos to factory settings to see if it would reset the bios #no luck\ #unplugged and replugged the RAM and gpu in case smthn was disconnected for whatever reason. no luck #like idk what to do beyond this! idk how to diagnose what's wrong bc i cant narrow down whats malfunctioning #i cant even get it to boot up properly #and i dont want to keep half booting it up and then murdering it by unplugging since the power button isnt working #\i feel like the power button not shutting it down is significant but idk what to DO with that info #fuck me. i need to get drunk and cry but i have work tmrw and i have to go to this important out of office meeting ALONE WITH STRANGERS #AND i took off the tattoo bandaid and im SO itchy and one spot is a lil oozy right in the elbow crease

[crowrelli]

ive had a migraine for THREE days and it just keeps getting worse

#i have like a headcold like thing again that fucking nothing is touching #steam doesnt work #caffine doesnt work #meds dont work #weed doesnt work #cutting down lights and everything helps it not flare up but like what the fuck #BUT i have to work on coms and sketches today so end me #tw illness #tw drug mention #vent tw #i dont talk about it a lot but fuck my immune system has just tanked the last few years and its honestly moved past being scary into just #straight up obnoxious and time consuming #also babe if u see this im toooootally taking it easy toooootally mhm not working at all the tag above was a lie completely ilyyyy <3 <3 <3 #feeling like the sister from the big time rush show where she gets bundled up in blankets with a vacuum sized humidifier in her face

[istherewifiinhell]

its MY blog! I WANNA clip the ground breaking tf character scene (<- not impling i think this is the ONLY one)

[VD: Transformers Earthspark clip of Mo and Nightshade Malto speaking with Optimus.

Intro to a gas station, a bag of goods dropped onto an outdoor table. Mo draws a face on a soda can, Nightshade watching. Optimus drops a six pack of glass bottle among other cups and wrappers to make a moveable planning "map": This is Mandroid's lair. And these piece represent all of us.

Shot of the Malto's leaning forward intently. Mo, Robby and Twitch sitting around the same table, Alex sitting hunched at an adjacent one, Thrash, due to size, sits on a third.

Nightshade, excitely, pointing to an owl figure infront of them: Oh may I be the bobblehead?

Optimus: Of course! Um, Morgan, can you switch... uh?

Nightshade's makes a considering face, eyes glowing, Mo looks to them, sound effect incating the commincation of emotion. Nightshade looks to her, Mo nods.

Mo: Nightshade's pronouns are they/them. [Mo smiles]

Nightshade nodding: He or she just doesn't fit who I am. [They shrug]

Optimus, sincerely: My apologies, please switch their piece [He nods his head]

Mo and Nightshade look around, pleased, and smile at each other. END

#some shit #its not called cisformers #<- YEEHAW BAAAAAABY #youll excuse me every time i tscribe clips im near bursting into tears #anyway this one IS cut down to basically just the relavance. dont say i never do anything for ya (<- nonsensical) #do NOT be expectant of such restraint #LISTEN BABYYYYYYYYYY. u gotta put down the trans adult hackles up instincts FOR 1 MO (<-me. i have that) and justtttt drink it innnnnnnnnn #nightshade one hour old: im picking up on this whole gender thing thats happening here and thats not me #mo. savvy eight year old: Oh yeah pronouns! i know about those. I can help #both: sure hope optimus prime is nice about pronouns. #HE IS! its not that hes being overly awkward about it either btw he just kinda is that awkward. #trans bird saga

[bigskydreaming]

That last reblog has me now contemplating.

What if to mess with his shiny new little brother, but like....gently....when they first started hanging out Dick told Jason a couple of slight falsehoods as umm. A training exercise. That’s it. It was about helping Jason get up to speed with his information gathering skills and also his bullshit detection. So in the interest of being helpful and A Good Big Brother, Obviously....Dick sowed a few.....less-than-entirely-factual details about the more fantastical elements of their lives. The stuff that isn’t common or public knowledge to most of the DC Earth. And then he just.....waited to see how long it took Jason to realize Dick had fed him a handful of straight up lies when briefing him about All Things Superhero.

Look, it was for Science. That’s Dick’s story and he’s sticking to it.

Thus, for the first couple months of their new sibling relationship, Dick had Jason convinced that Atlanteans were actually aliens who landed here thousands of years ago, speedsters can run so fast they can travel back in time, and Superman once accidentally let out a burp so forceful it created a shockwave that shattered every glass in a quarter mile radius so whenever he starts to look....gassy....your best course of action is to hit the deck. Don’t even hesitate for a second, just dive to the ground and grab some floor until he’s got it back under control. And oh yeah, Diana has her Lasso of Truth, but Donna’s version of truth-related powers is that she can sense when people are up to no good....only, the way this manifests for her is she suddenly registers a distinct bad smell in her vicinity, alerting her that bullshit is afoot.

“You’re kidding,” Jason said flatly. “You expect me to believe that Donna can literally smell bullshit?”

Dick just raised an eyebrow. “Like that’s somehow less plausible than Gar being able to change into any kind of animal but only in shades of green? And oh yeah, speaking of green, Green Lanterns can do just about anything with their rings....except protect themselves from yellow paint? I don’t make the rules, Jace. The truth is sometimes superpowers aren’t super-glamorous and not everything related to magic or gods or other planets is as....sophisticated...as we presume. I mean, its not like these things exist just to match up to our expectations for them. Why should alien civilizations or the rules of magic be influenced by whether or not our society would find something weird or ridiculous?”

Jason chewed his lower lip contemplatively. He lacked an official bullshit detecting power himself, but he did have good instincts. Unfortunately for him, his shiny new big brother gave good Lying-to-your-face Face.

“Plus, if you really think about it, it does make a kind of sense,” Dick continued to explain helpfully. But only according to certain specific interpretations of ‘helpfully’ that actually mean ‘like a liar.’ “Our brains are constantly translating all kinds of input and stimuli into shapes or patterns we can actually process in a way that means something to us. So we can make use of that information. This is just the same thing. Donna’s power takes however many variables are involved in registering something as false or something she needs to be wary of...and just condenses it into a simple ‘red alert’ indicator that takes all that abstract, ephemeral data and makes it something actionable. Something she can actually do something with. Her power - or how her brain perceives it - just didn’t actually consult her or give her a choice of notification settings, because why would it?”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jason begrudgingly agreed, with a frown that suggested this particular ‘truth’ Offended his sensibilities.

“I mean, you can ask Donna to explain it herself if you want,” Dick said with a shrug. “Just a heads-up though....she’s not really a fan of how that power works either. Its not exactly a superpower anyone wants to be known for, and she’s heard allllll the jokes about it by now. Roy, Wally and I were perhaps....not the most sensitive when we were younger and she was honing that particular skillset? Though in our defense, I maintain that most of our jokes were hilarious. But anyway, just saying. If you wanna bring it up with her directly, go right ahead! Its definitely one of her favorite topics and Amazons are for sure known for how well they handle being self-conscious.”

And that’s the story of the three months Jason spent convinced that Atlanteans were from another planet, confusing the hell out of Garth with his occasional references to ‘your homeworld’ and his numerous questions about all the Atlantean Green Lanterns that he for some reason seemed convinced the Green Lantern Corps must obviously have a long history of.

And its also why Jason spent those same three months getting wide-eyed and nervous any time he noticed Donna’s nose so much as twitch when he was around. Which it did a lot more often than usual, thanks to how often Dick got horseradish to go with whatever he was having for lunch, knowing full well that Donna can not stand the smell of horseradish. (Dick’s actually not a fan either, and he hates how it tastes, but he’s not afraid to Suffer for the sake of Shenanigans. Its a fundamental part of the Robin experience and persona, after all.)

But it was the Donna thing that gave Dick away, ultimately. No matter how hard he tried to keep a lid on how entertaining he now found the sight of Donna’s occasional nose twitch...even a Batkid poker face can’t keep an empath and telepath from finding this a mystery worth untangling after the tenth time it happens.

(Not that Lilith or Raven are gonna apologize for prying any time soon. They had an obligation as his friends and teammates to investigate when he’s acting bizarre, y’see. What if its because he was brainwashed again? “We’re intrusive because we love,” Lilith insists with zero shame. Raven clarifies: “I was intrusive because she was already doing it so there seemed no point not to.” Lilith points out that this could also be construed as a sign of strong leadership potential. Dick glowers. Lilith waves a hand dismissively. “We can circle back to that later. That’s fine.”)

Anyway, the truth came out at last, Jason cites this as the Moral Justification for every single time and way he was a pain in the ass to Dick in the years to come, and Donna - who was Not Amused - gave a pointed sniff and called bullshit when Dick tried to claim this was an important Bonding Opportunity for he and Jason, wherein they became brothers ‘for real’ instead of just via Bruce. “There are intricate sibling rituals to be observed,” Dick insisted. “I did my research! We had so much time to make up for, I had to speedrun through my shenanigans to get us all caught up! Would I have done all this if I didn’t care?”

Every Titan in the room, familiar with the lengths he’d gone to when messing with Rogues and randos as Robin and thus distinctly unimpressed: Yes. Absolutely. One hundred percent.

Dick foraged on heroically. “Regardless! That’s not the case here, as all of this was clearly done in the name of brotherhood and bonding! We’ll laugh about this someday, you’ll see!”

Ten years later, after Jason’s returned as the Red Hood and reintegrated with the Batfamily to varying degrees, enough so that he accompanies Dick and the rest of the OG Titans on a mission where they’re ambushed, captured and trapped in a supervillain dungeon they’re now trying to escape...

Dick: Definitely kicking myself for not seeing that ambush coming. Where’s a bullshit-sniffing power when you really need it, huh?

Jason: Still not laughing yet.

Dick: Oh come on!

As far as the rest goes, Jason does get a kick out of the speedsters discovering that actually, they can run fast enough to travel through time. He’s like, despite your best efforts you accidentally got one right. And Dick’s all ‘was it an accident or did I actually know or have strong suspicions all along’....but Jason shuts that down. “Nope. Not giving you this one. Try it with someone else.”

However, that still left one last card in play, long after everyone - even Dick and Jason themselves - had all but forgotten about it.

See, every Batkid knows that the best lies contain elements of truth. And that’s why Dick only peppered in his fake trivia very, very sparingly amidst a massive info-dump of actually accurate and useful info he gave Jason about all that stuff, way back when.

So despite the handful of things Dick had told him that Jason eventually discovered to be untrue...the vast majority of it did check out.

Which means even once he did catch on to Dick’s game....that didn’t change his acceptance of the stuff that had turned out to be true or verified by others. But in the end, there was only one little fib that slipped under the radar. Because the scenario it was based on just never happened to come up until long after Jason had returned....and thus Jason never had reason to put much thought into actually questioning whether or not it was true. Not until long after he’d stopped scrutinizing stuff Dick had told him, in search of possible ‘traps.’

And THAT is the story of how Jason - on one of the rare occasions that he joined the Titans and Justice League for an all-hands-on-deck kinda teamup - just happened to be in the right wrong place at the right wrong time to notice Superman suddenly start to look queasy after trying some alien cuisine....

And without a second thought, Jason just instinctively dove for the floor. With this followed by Clark letting out an extremely normal-sounding burp and a sheepish apology.

Everyone else, staring at the infamous Red Hood ducking for cover because Clark had a moment of indigestion: umm. wut

Dick, staring wide-eyed at his brother and trying not to laugh: Oh shit. I totally forgot all about that.

Jason, almost conversationally, while climbing to his feet and stalking ominously towards his big bro: Hey can you believe that after all the shit we’ve been through and all the times we’ve fought over like...actual life and death stuff, THIS is the thing I’m actually gonna kill you for?

Dick, backing away, hands raised placatingly: Hey, c’mon now, Jace, we called a truce about all this ages ago, remember? It was a much younger, dumber me who did all that in the first place, y’know? You’re better than this!

Jason: I’m really not.

Dick: Well then can I just take this opportunity to mention again how sorry I am for any creative embellishments I might have once come up with, in the mistaken belief that I was honoring important traditions of brotherhood, and....

Jason: Hey, where’s Donna? Can anyone see if her nose is twitching?

Donna and the rest of the Titans, blatantly amused and offering no explanation to the very confused Justice League: Oh, bullshit absolutely detected. In the interests of Truth and Justice, you should totally proceed.

Dick, jabbing his finger at his teammates before dashing for the door: Betrayal! J’accuse!

Donna, shrugging: Sorry, Rob. Justice demands impartiality. Our hands are tied.

Jason, running out the door and down the hallway in pursuit of his fleeing brother: Yeah you better run! I’ve waited ten fucking years to get back at you for this shit. Where you going anyway, bro? I thought you wanted to laugh about this someday!

Dick (offscreen): I regret nothing! It was all worth it! You should have seen your face!

Jason (offscreen): You couldn’t even see my face, idiot! I’m wearing my fucking helmet!

Dick (offscreen): Semantics! If something’s funny enough, you can sense what someone’s face probably looks like! If you know, you know!

Jason (offscreen): Oh yeah, go ahead and make up some more shit, Grayson, that’s definitely the right way to go here!

Batman, looking to the Titans and waving his hand at...whatever all that is offscreen: Explain.

Roy: Hey don’t look at us. You’re the one who made them brothers. This is on you.

Batman: What does that even mean.

Lilith: If you know, you know. Dick’s right about that much at least.

The Titans all nod like an actual, self-evident truth was just expressed. Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose, and starts muttering under his breath.

“You need to encourage Dick to seek out and make like-minded friends, Alfred said. It’ll be good for him, he said. Its what he needs and definitely not the point everything starts to go downhill.”

Lilith picks it up loud and clear, because of course she does, and incidentally, the smug, obnoxious know-it-all teenage psychic who started hanging out with Dick when they were teenagers has absolutely nothing to do with Bruce’s profound dislike of telepaths, nooooo, that would be ridiculous and irrational, to bear a grudge against everyone with a particular skillset because one of your son’s childhood friends was a royal pain in the -

Lilith: Oh, that’s adorable. He thinks we’re the reason Dick’s so profoundly weird and inexplicable.

The Titans, in unison: LOL.

Roy: The self-deluding, it is strong in that family.

Bruce is suddenly extra glad he’s wearing a cowl that hides what is definitely not a pout but might be mistaken for one by the uninformed thus its better to just dodge that issue entirely. He crosses his arms and stares down the collection of his eldest son’s friends, whom he has been unfairly plagued by since most of them were pre-pubescent little demons. Literally no one has suffered like he has.

“I don’t like you,” he informs them officiously. Not sulkily. Officiously.

Several of them snort. There’s a couple giggles. An eye roll from Roy. An aborted response hastily turns into Wally coughing into his hand. Blatant dismissal from Victor, his attention clearly on whatever he’s browsing online. Three varying shades of raised eyebrows: unflappable bemusement from the sorceress, patronizing amusement from the psychic, naked incredulity from Donna. Garth gazing off into an empty corner which he has on very good authority is basically the Atlantean version of the middle finger.

“Yeah, no shit,” Roy drawls, apparently on behalf of the whole group.

Ugh, they’re just. The worst. Why couldn’t Clark have had a kid Dick’s age so he never had to go looking elsewhere for socialization? That’s it. Clearly this was all Clark’s fault. He can’t believe he never realized that before.

Dammit Clark.

#this started out as Dick and Jason shenanigans and then somehow morphed into Bruce really doesn't like his kid's friends #because I firmly believe the Bruce vs the Titans antipathy is one hundred percent a two way street #and not so deep down Bruce (super rationally) blames them for some of the distance between he and Dick over the years #the world's greatest detective is like 'well Dick and I (mostly) got along just fine until THEY came along and then all of a sudden it was #oh sorry Bruce I cant hang out cuz I gotta go play with all my friends who hate you because they're horrible little goblin children #and look I've connected the dots' because correlation is definitely causation #cut to Bruce grumpily slouched in the Watchtower's monitor room watching the Titans mop up the Fearsome Five #to loud public acclaim #Clark hovers nearby. both figuratively and literally. he is Concerned #'Bruce you do know that resenting Dick's friends and holding a grudge against a bunch of fifteen year olds because #your kid doesn't always want to hang out with you anymore is Not the solution to repairing your relationship with Dick that you're looking #for right? please tell me that you know that' #Bruce. testily. 'yes Clark I know that' #Clark: okay. good. I was just worried because it. umm. doesn't always LOOK like you know that #Bruce: well I do and you can stop bringing it up. friends dont rub their friend's irrationality in their faces #Clark: see I dont think I know that rule #Clark: Im pulling from the book that says friends dont let their friends declare a feud against teenagers they've decided #are their personal mortal nemesis in some not-super-healthy war for their son's time and attention #Bruce: well your book sounds stupid and wrong and you should throw it away and get a better book like mine #Clark. Sighing because apparently today is a day where Bruce has decided to just Be Like This and resigning himself to letting it go #for now and trying again to get through to him in a week or two instead #'Sure B. Ill get right on that.'

[gemkun]

@defiedlife said : The drinksmith watches from behind the bar counter, her eyes falling on one of the few humans to have passed by the Dreamjolt Hostelry in the last day or so—time blurring as it can in the dreamscape. From her pocket, she withdraws a folded letter, sealed with a bit of scrap wax borrowed from a recently opened bottle; remelted and stamped by a certain gambler’s ring. “Hey Doc,” she calls out, then lowers her voice upon drawing closer. “Your friend left this here for you. Said to give it to you after… Well, he said I’d know, and dreamscape gossip always finds its way to a drinksmith. If you want anything, it’s on the house.” With a faint sympathetic smile, she places the letter before Veritas and returns to her usual post, giving him ample space and privacy. Should the good doctor choose to read the letter, it is penned in a familiar curling, sloping, and artfully messy yet legible scrawl:

First of all, if you're reading this, thank Siobhan for me. I had a feeling she'd come through. As I write this, you're probably talking to that Family head on my behalf right about now. If you've really gone through with what we discussed…know that I forgive you, no matter what happens as a result. Don't worry; I'm used to it! In fact, I owe you my thanks for taking this gamble right along with me. I couldn't have trusted anyone else to do the same. I won't bore you with with some long-winded emotional spiel, but…it's been fun, Veritas. It's an honor and a pleasure to work alongside the great Veritas Ratio. If things go badly for me in the end and I lose this gamble, try not to miss me too much, okay? Ha… I bet you're rolling your eyes right about now after reading that. No matter what the final outcome is, I'm ready for it. I knew how things might end the moment I accepted this mission. It's a risk I have to take. I've always lived that way, y'know? This is no different than any other gamble I've ever made. Win or lose, I'm probably still not back in reality yet. If "Death" hasn't taken my body from the real world… Keep an eye on it for me, would you? Maybe I'll surprise you soon. If not, if I lose and don't come back at all... Say that prayer I taught you over what's left of me, if you wouldn't mind, and send me back home to Sigonia-IV if you can keep The Family and the IPC from disposing of me elsewhere. I'd appreciate it. Of course, you could also choose to burn this letter and forget about me entirely. I wouldn't blame you. Whatever you decide to do from here on... Thanks for everything you've already done, Veritas. I'll always love you. — Kakavasha

      ⸻       system   hours   ago   it   seems   ,   they   were   just   here.   present   in   the   vicinity   ,   where   he   had   observed   a   slumbering   individual   ,   tuckered   out   from   slamming   down   a   few   too   many   servings   of   soulglad.   though   ,   despite   his   practice   ,   it   wasn’t   necessarily   uncalled   for   —   considering   the   cascade   of   events   about   to   unfold   ,   catalysed   upon   their   departure.

  gaze   drifts   ,   casting   along   the   crevices   of   wooden   panels   ,   constructing   the   bench   of   the   rather   deserted   establishment.   an   element   that   is   beneficial   in   his   case.   for   he   desires   to   be   by   his   lonesome   ,   in   preparation   for   countless   ruminations   already   beset   in   an   unsettled   mind.

  attention   spears   suddenly   ,   exhibiting   from   the   outset   —   an   emergence   of   hostility   ,   purposed   to   dissuade   company.   until   it   softens   ,   dissipating   from   the   premise   of   her   mission.   for   the   sake   of   appearances   ,   he   brushes   his   disposition   aside   ,   luring   siobhan   to   account   it   to   his   weary   state.

  evident   ,   by   the   mere   nod   he   elects   for   ,   in   acknowledgement   of   her   relayed   message.   ❝   thank   you   ,   but   that   won’t   be   necessary.   ❞   it   is   a   simple   platitude   ,   but   one   he   utters   nevertheless   ,   despite   bearing   lacklustre   vocals.   fortunately   ,   the   role   of   a   bartender   prepares   the   envoy   for   a   myriad   of   characters    —   one   ,   being   the   detached   and   worn   scholar.

  time   ,   a   variable   that   had   been   in   limited   supply   ,   is   on   his   side   now   ,   as   he   regards   the   slovenly   missive.   there   are   plenty   of   details   veritas   notes   that   the   stoneheart   had   proceeded   to   accomplish   with   haste   —   from   the   misaligned   press   to   the   creases   in   stationery   ,   and   the   stark   composition   of   choice   ,   alongside   the   tucked   paper   in   its   interior.

  it   is   all   so   .   .   .   him.

  the   doctor   sighs   ,   with   an   air   of   displeasure   ,   and   perhaps   a   glimpse   of   relief.

  before   his   artful   portrait   reverts   to   its   former   expression   ,   in   its   neutral   structure.

  reined   in   ,   his   thumb   traces   the   envelope   and   its   length   ,   dipping   slightly   to   tear   at   fragile   material.   whether   or   not   he   carves   a   perfect   line   ,   is   not   his   concern   presently   ,   for   there   is   only   one   fate   after   his   eyes   gauge   the   contents   of   terrible   scrawls.   his   index   then   ,   unfolds   the   written   piece   ,   unveiling   recognisable   script.

  he   begins   to   read.

  .   .   .

  tch.

  were   he   present   ,   a   storm   was   awaiting   ,   circling   the   lectures   he   had   in   store   for   such   impetuous   exchange   of   information.   what   if   someone   had   managed   to   intercept   this   ?   ❝   even   when   you   are   absent   ,   you   manage   to   be   as   careless   as   ever.   damned   gambler   ,   when   will   you   learn   ?   ❞   he   mutters   under   his   breath   ,   with   a   lick   of   frustration.   luckily   ,   audibility   is   caught   before   it   can   disperse   ,   by   the   page   in   his   firm   grasp.

  tightened   ,   his   throat   becomes   suddenly.   for   the   validity   of   his   question   requires   a   factor   he   possesses   no   control   over.

  a   fact   veritas   doesn’t   want   to   dwell   on   ,   nor   consider   currently.

  so   ,   he   does   not.

  what   he   does   linger   on   ,   is   the   request.   a   noble   and   respectable   ask.   one   ,   the   mundanite   will   perform   without   question.   but   this   is   not   his   struggle   —   for   a   delegate   is   familiar   with   conducting   duties   expected   of   him   ,   and   carrying   out   associated   tasks.   he   is   not   ,   however   ,   acquainted   with   the   subject   ,   attached   to   its   conclusion.

  ❛    veritas.   i'll   always   love   you.

  —   kakavasha   ❜

  it   is   enough   to   elicit   a   sour   response   ,   indeed.   with   a   derisive   laugh   —   and   one   ,   not   alien   to   him.   perhaps   it   is   the   comical   aspect   of   this   farce   ,   or   perhaps   it   is   the   cruelty   leashed   to   the   occurrences   that   led   up   to   this   unprecedented   confession   ,   or   perhaps   it   is   the   fact   he   had   known.

  deep   down   ,   beyond   those   carefully   ,   cultivated   barricades   ,   past   his   security   measures.

  he   had   always   known.

  paper   crumples   ,   breaching   the   persisting   silence   for   an   instance   before   he   alights   from   his   stool   and   meanders   to   the   exit   of   the   dreamjolt   hostelry.   still   ,   crinkling   the   letter   as   he   braves   penacony   ,   with   an   inkling   of   animosity.

  it   is   out   of   safety   ,   that   he   sources   a   fire   in   the   land   of   dreams.   an   easy   feat   he   accomplishes   ,   inciting   flames   to   eat   the   tarnished   profession   ,   whereupon   the   dawn   feeds   it   ,   igniting   sparks   to   consume.   until   there   is   only   embers.   until   there   is   only   ash.

  until   there   is   nothing.

  but   in   the   wake   of   particulates   ,   whisked   by   the   wind   ,   there   is   only   one   thought   ,   prevalent   in   his   mind   as   he   examines   the   inferno.

  come   back   to   me   ,   gambler.

  don’t   you   know   ?

  .   .   .

  ah   ,   there   is   work   to   be   done.

#* ✦ 𝐈𝐈. ❮ asks ❯ ⸻ ❝ #* ✦ 𝐕𝐈. ❮ muses ❯ ⸻ ❝ 「 veritas ratio 」 #* ✦ defiedlife #* ✦ defiedlife | aventurine #so unlike you know normal people i sat down and just wrote this for 20 minutes straight #it's a little sped up by the end but like it's kinda reflective on the emotional turmoil veritas is undergoing #though he will never ever admit it #im a bit distraught after writing this too smh #putting me through this pain how dare you #pelts chalk at you #i hope you understand that by burning the letter he deems that idea of aventurine being gone as dead #because he firmly believes he will come back #but he knows the prayer he memorised the letter #but he will not let aventurine's submission into demise be the end all be all #i put it under a cut cause i dont want a slab of text on the dash #long post