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a-simple-complexity · 3 years

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Things about the creepypasta improv thing my close friend and I have been doing since 4th or 5th grade (maybe longer):

- My character doesn't really have a cp name yet but has been around for 401 years

- My character, when not at the mansion, is roomies with JTK (and he steals cheese its)

- Vivian's (the close friend) character is close to Slenderman and has a older sister bond with Sally

- Aside from the Jeff The Cheeze Itz Snatcher gag we have more running gags

- Such as Masky locking Toby in the closet when he's annoying only to turn around and see Toby standing there.... MENACINGLY (lol)

- LJ punts Mr Widemouth across the mansion weekly

- EJ is no longer allowed to cook for others after the barbeque of 2017. We miss you, Butler Bill

- Tuesdays and Thursdays Viv's character takes pets and children out the mansion for a playdate while everyone else has some fun

- Viv's Hidden Stash of Tuna TM

- My Hidden Stash of Vodka and Rum TM

- My character might have a problem but then again immortals aren't really affected by alcohol like most mortals are

- Speaking about my character: Holy. Pets.

- They have a bunch of guard dogs (despite them all being guard dogs they are pampered like you wouldn't believe)

- Pastas respect COVID stuff. Slender ordered everyone to scatter until it's mellowed out alot. Slender caught it at some point. They say get the vaccine and wear ya damn mask.

- There's a "Community Garden". It's just a few pitcher plants, some Butterworts, a killer cow plant (courtesy of Ben pulling some strings), a small patch of wither roses (courtesy of Herobrine), and a oran berry plant (courtesy of a few poke-pastas), rose bushes, etc

- Holidays are fun too

- Christmas time is filled with my character and Viv's taking Sally, Jane, Clockwork, and Nina out for a "girls" night

- Granted Nina only gets taken along bc despite the love-hate relationship between my character and Jeff, Jeff deserves time away from Nina during the holidays at least

- Also despite Jeff hating Nina he appreciates the knives she gives him (and return he gives her some sort of card)

- Due to staying in the vents constantly and stalking everyone my character gets everyone what they think they like would like

- Christmas lights everywhere. Splendor always gets Offender to put the star on top the comically large tree just bc

- Despite it not being Christmas music, everyone listens to Hotel California by The Eagles

- and watches Christmas movies (what was that Christmas movie with Tim Allen?)

- Everyone plays in the snow. Jeff decides to start a snowball fight and Sally makes a snow man.

- Everyone wears something festive and it's normally an ugly sweater thanks to Trender

- Spiked nog anyone?

- Thanksgiving includes everyone gathering together and having fun

- A small hunting trip is planned instead of a football game (the hunt takes place the day prior bc no one wanna miss the parade)

- Sally's favorite float is the Charlie brown float

- You know how the president pardons a turkey? Slender pardons a victim (and has been doing it since meeting Viv's character bc of a joke Viv made)

- My character makes mashed potatoes or some sort of really outdated dish from the 1700's

- The Slender Bros, Viv's character, Sally, Toby, Smile Dog, Jeff, and Nina all watch the dog show after the parade

- Nina is kinda allergic to dogs and doesn't really like them but bc of her lingering obsession with Jeff she puts up with it

- Offender and Trender argue over what dog they think should have won (funny to watch to grown immortal-ass men argue over this)

- Slender carves the turkey

- The pardoned victim is allowed to stay for dinner granted a majority of memories get changed (not really erased, just changed)

- My character, Jeff, and Ben all walk through the woods before dinner and get fucking plastered (and think no one notices....everyone notices)

- the week of Thanksgiving the tree gets put up (acceptable if it's the week of Thanksgiving, any other time then it's just weird)

- My characters mom, (considered the co-founder of Hell) pops in, steals a couple slices of pie, and leaves

- Halloween is celebrated kind of like Thanksgiving and Christmas

- My character decorates the mansion with various bones

- 31 Days of Horror Movies (at some point it's decided to watch Earnest Scared Stupid and some of the serious dog lovers opt out)

- The Slender Brothers dress up as the three musketeers. Splendor is Porthos, Offender is Athos, Slender is D'artagnan and, Trender is Aramis

- Jeff and my character do a duel costume by dressing of as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats (musical not movie, duh) alternatively they dress as Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees.

- Sally dresses as Carrie or a fairy princess

- Jane, Clockwork, Nina, Viv's Character dress up as four of the five muses from Hercules (Viv changes last minute to a cat due to her character having cat ears and a cat tail)

- Toby, Masky, and Hoodie originally wanted to dress as the three musketeers but after slender took that idea they decide to dress up as separate things. Toby dresses as Masky. Masky dresses as the phantom of the opera and Hoodie is a ghost.

- Smile dog dresses as a hot dog :P

- A small hunting trip is planned and Jane and Clockwork take Sally trick or treating

- Everyone finishes the month with A Night are Before Christmas (a classic)

- Not many celebrate Valentine's day

- It's really only the Slender Bros, Viv's character, My character, Nina, Toby, Masky & Hoodie, and Sally

- and by Sally I mean she just leaves candy from the candy bowl everywhere

- Masky and Hoodie make a day of it since Slender gives them holidays off. They eat cheesecake in the woods and just spend the day together.

- Toby spends the day alone but still celebrates in his own way. Eating waffles.

- Offender (in our improv thing he's not....yeah....he's just a hopeless romantic that does consensual hook ups) and my character spend his their leaving roses out at restaurants and going to bars for hookups. They have a bunch of stuff worked out.

- Viv and Slender spend the day in bed or lounging in the living room watching some cheesy comedy.

- Trender spends the day as a self care day seeing as he's alone at the moment. Every day is self care for him but it's even more on Valentine's Day. He goes all out and even treats himself to a fancy restaurant.

- Splendor likes going to neighborhoods and leaving cute little poems on people's doors then heading to the zoo for personal time.

- Nina harasses Jeff who, in return, leaves the mansion and heads to the apartment him and my character share.

- New Years is something everyone celebrates. While some have resolutions others have new quotas they're trying to meet.

- Sally tries to stay up and watch the ball drop (she's only seen it drop twice before falling asleep)

- My character and Viv's character get shit faced

- Jeff normally sits there with a beer in one hand and Smile Dog beside him

- that's really all that consists of New Years

More about our two characters:

My character:

- a 401 year old demon thing

- in our universe hell is ran by the 7 devil's as well as my characters mother. Hells more of a city than a pit.

- Has lived with Jeff as a roommate since late 2018

- Use to be with Herobrine but broke it off with him for unknown reasons.....they're civil and still good friends. He's one of those people that could make a good boyfriend but is best as a close friend

- On their 400th birthday a crackening happened in Hell that enhanced their powers and they were hunted by Zalgo. Luckily a truce was established.

- Has been by Viv's character side since her characters soul was first created. More in Viv's Character's section

- Y'know those dogs that were talked about in the beginning? They primarily stay at their mothers mansion in Hell.

- Also all cats go to hell but they don't get hurt. They like to watch. Sometimes if you're lucky you might get a celebrity's cat. That's how my character got their lovely (and kinda douchy cat) Delilah. She likes to pee all over people's suits just bc she's like that.

- They were born in 1620 but are progressive

- Still liked fashion through the ages

- Maybe not the health damaging ones

- Is able to fly and teleport but due to back pain and migraines prefers to stay grounded and rarely use teleportation

- Doesn't actually kill much but has had souls sold to them (job as a demon....doesn't really need one though....is Crossroads Demon)

- Had a one night stand with Trender about 240ish years ago

- Does have proxies....it's those souls they take and barter around for

- Souls in hell can be used for currency depending on whether or not they sold their soul

- Anyways, was at some point known for having an obsession with chainsaws and hoodies...still has a bunch of hoodies and a chainsaw but doesn't really use them much (is more of a flannel and gun person now)

Viv's Character:

- her character managed to get everyone's favorite dwarfed rag doll cat from the internet

- Her character use to be with Entity 303 and ended up Slenderman

- that makes two of us who were with a Minecraft pasta and ended up with a slender brother lol

- I think her character is called Kat or KC so for now imma call her character Kat

- Kat has an addiction to tuna and milk

- Also has cat ears and a cat tail which are both very sensitive

- when Kat's soul was created my character was created. Even though Kat has been through many many reincarnations my character has always been alongside her. Even though my character doesn't die they act as a guardian towards Kat.

- Has a tendency to sit up in the cat walks and within the walls of the mansion alongside my character

- Gets lost in the forest from time to time and needs help getting out

- Despite being with Slender she has her own room to store her weapons and stash her plans.

- If I'm not mistaken Kat also was with Toby for a short while but doesn't talk about it much. Imagine dating your ex-lovers boss lol

- Disappears for up to a week sometimes without saying where she's going and when she comes back she acts as if nothing happened

- When both Kat and my character started living in the mansion they shared a room for about a year.

- Kat had a personal garden that was completely wiped out by Zalgo before a treaty was established and she still hasn't forgave him

- The garden mostly had marigolds and a few small plants. The only one that really mattered was Audrey the Venus fly trap.

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minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong · 5 years

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Privacy - A Yoongi One Shot

Request: heyo! idk if your requests are open but i really loved the way you wrote sweet tooth and i was hoping to request a yoongi x male idol reader. maybe they’re like out in the store or something when a fan recognizes them? something like that? i really love your writing it’s so good 😊

Description: You and Yoongi have a very warm relationship. But unfortunately, they’re forced by circumstance to keep it a secret. Outings together, dates, even trips to the grocery store mean face masks and thick jackets. But what happens when the two of you get caught where you least expect it?

Word Count: 2.5k

Pairing: Yoongi x (male) reader

Genre: Fluff, just straight fluff and a little angst if you squint

Warnings: None!

A/N: Hey guys! This request was so fun to complete, holy cow. Honestly, I loved this prompt and it was a really natural scenario. I liked it! I hope you guys enjoy it too. Ah, and a quick note: my requests are actually super closed! Haha, they have been for a few months, but I’ve been getting a few in my inbox. The ones I’ve received up until now, I’ll definitely complete within the next few weeks, but I’m not taking any more requests for the time being! Thank you for your patience and understanding! Love you guys~

- Mercury

It hadn’t been long since you and Yoongi started seeing each other. Just shy of five months. For normal people, that was plenty long enough to get serious. But not quite for you. Couples in the industry weren’t nearly as rare as the media thought, but nonetheless a same-sex couple was big news around your contemporaries. Nobody particularly minded, of course. Yoongi had said on numerous occasions that gender was never an issue in love, and you’d been rather vocal about your crush on him during interviews. Once word got around to your fellow idols, you’d received an outpouring of support.

But with it, came an outpouring of warnings.

You could still distinctly remember that text from Jackson.

Hey! Congratulations on your relationship! I always knew you guys had a thing for each other lol. A word of advice though, from a veteran…don’t let the fans know. Not everyone is as accepting as we are.

Of course, you understood his point. Not only was your group rather new, but you were only just gaining momentum with the public. Each new MV marked a significant increase in fans. Every comeback saw more faces in the audience, more people cheering for and supporting you.

Perhaps if you were a solo artist you’d have come out properly. Perhaps you would have held Yoongi’s hand proudly as you strolled through the grocery store, no masks, no baseball caps, no oversized clothes, no eyes scanning like surveillance cameras, ready to run at the slightest hint of movement. Perhaps you’d post all those couple pictures you had stored on your phone: you and Yoongi on a beach in Jeju, soaking in the sunlight, Yoongi sleeping on your lap, lashes dusting the apples of his cheeks, Yoongi silhouetted against the lavender sky. Perhaps you’d add a mushy caption, in both Korean and English like those trendy idols did.

But you didn’t have only yourself to worry about. Your group mates, four of the kindest and most hardworking boys you’d ever met, were relying on you too. And one public slip-up could be catastrophic for such a young group. Hadn’t you learned from what happened to E’Dawn and Pentagon? Hadn’t that served as a cautionary tale?

Nonetheless, as you held his hand and he read the back label of a cereal box, you couldn’t help the urge to just…scream it. Take the microphone from one of the cashiers and announce it over the PA system.

“I love Min Yoongi!” you’d shout, alarming middle-aged mothers and startling children as they chased one another through the candy aisle. “I love him and we’re dating!”

But instead you simply smiled and held his hand, your whole body warm beside him. Gently, you leaned into his side and he hummed a little. “What is it?” he asked, voice muffled through the mask.

You shook your head and sighed, resting your head against his shoulder. “Nothing, really.”

“Not nothing,” replied Yoongi, turning to face you seriously, your fingers still laced. His heavy brow was lowered and he watched you with what you were certain was a pout on his lips. “You’re thinking about something.”

You opened your mouth to protest before shutting it with a sigh and rolling the tip of your shoe into the linoleum, trying to find the words. “I’m just…thinking about us.”

“Us?” he asked, then pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t make a face like that when you think about us.”

You laughed and shook your head. “Not like that, dork,” you said, shoving the side of his head lightly and dislodging his baseball cap. Instead of picking it up, he simply stared down at you, now exposed in the middle of the grocery store. “I mean…aren’t you sick of hiding?” you asked.

He blinked at you for a moment, his brow furrowing. “We aren’t hiding,” he said, gesturing around the aisle with his free hand. “We’re out in public.”

You sighed and tugged on the top of his face mask with your finger. “What’s this then?” you asked, quirking a brow.

“It’s…a precaution,” he said, then shook his head and pulled you flush against his side, watching the rows of cereal like they held the answers. He always did that. Avoiding your eyes when he was about to say something soft. “I don’t want to put our careers in danger.”

You were quiet a moment. You’d had this conversation more times than you could count and the result was always the same. An impasse. You loved your fans, but you couldn’t quite trust them to have a good reaction. You loved each other, but you couldn’t risk your livelihood. Nothing every added up just right.

“E-excuse me?” called a small voice from beside Yoongi.

You peered out across his chest and locked eyes with a young girl, probably around middle-school age, with big brown eyes and cheeks flushed with rose. “Yes?” asked Yoongi quietly.

The girl held in her hand the black baseball cap Yoongi had dropped, her small hands clasped around the bill. She smiled gently. “Is this yours?” she asked.

Yoongi released your shoulders and bent down to retrieve his cap. You could hear the smile in his voice as he responded. “Yes,” he said, placing the hat back on his head. “Thank you for grabbing it.”

She beamed at Yoongi with the fondness of a fan and cleared her throat a little. “Um…I know this is weird, but…are you Min Yoongi?” she asked.

Yoongi’s back went rigid and he spared a look at you. Your eyes were wide and your heart was kicking up in speed with worry. If this girl knew Yoongi, she might say something about him grocery shopping with a guy. She might have even saw the two of you embracing. But…why did she look so happy?

Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck and nodded his head slowly. “Yeah…,” he said, his voice revealing his worry.

The girl clapped her hands and grinned. “I knew it!”

She laughed a little and glanced over her shoulder down the aisle. Only then did you notice another, slightly older girl lingering at the end cap by the bread. She stiffened when she noticed you staring and you thought she might run.

“Hyejin!” called the younger girl, waving her hand excitedly. “I told you! It’s Yoongi and Y/N!”

Yoongi jumped a little and turned to stare at you with round eyes. “U-uh-,” you began, but before you could say anything, the older girl was running down the aisle to join the first and both of them looked up at you as if you had stars in your eyes. “Hello,” you said with a curt bow.

The girls giggled. “You’re my favorite member!” blurted the older girl, Hyejin. She glanced between you and Yoongi and smiled brightly. “I had a feeling you two were dating.”

You stiffened and stared at her, pulling down your face mask and shaking your head. “O-oh, no, uh…we’re not! We’re just-,”

“You’re right,” said Yoongi, pulling his own face mask down to reveal a soft, knowing smile. He turned his tender eyes toward the girl and she blushed. “We’re buying ingredients for dinner tonight. Do you have any recommendations?”

The girl gaped before nodding her head furiously. “I know how to make a really good carbonara!”

The younger girl approached you with a grin, holding out her phone to you with trembling hands. “C-Could I get a picture with you?” she asked gently.

You blinked at it, then looked at Yoongi whose hand had been seized in the older girl’s grip, guiding him down the aisle toward the pasta. You then turned back to the girl and a shy smile crept across your lips. “Um…sure,” you said, taking it from her hands and bending slightly to match her height.

You took a few photos together until the girl found one she liked. “Oh! I’m Mijin by the way,” she said with a smile. “I’m a really, really huge fan! My sister too,” she said, then turned down the aisle to see Hyejin talking animatedly about pasta. She laughed. “Sorry she stole your boyfriend.”

You flushed and rubbed your hands together. Nervous habit. “Ah…s-she can have him. Nobody knows it, and he’d die if he knew I told you, but he makes super bad puns at home.”

She glanced at you slyly and gave you a smirk. “Really?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose and put on an exhausted expression, sighing. “Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?” you asked.

She giggled. “Hm,” she began, then shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Ireland,” you said, eyeing her. “Every day it’s Dublin.”

Mijin let out a rapturous laugh that captured her sister’s attention. The girl rushed back to us and glanced between us with narrowed eyes. “Did she tell you something embarrassing about me?” she asked.

Yoongi approached at a leisurely pace, smiling. “No! Something embarrassing about Yoongi,” said Mijin, still fighting off laughter.

Yoongi cocked a brow and crossed his arms. “Oh?”

You glanced away, scratching your jaw, and whistled a little. “I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

Yoongi flicked your forehead and the two of you chuckled. Lingering quietly beside you, the two girls exchanged loaded glances. Suddenly, you worried that you’d been too affectionate with Yoongi. Were these two not so accepting after all? Was it really just like Jackson said? You felt your stomach go cold and you watched your hands as they clasped the grocery basket, knuckles straining against your skin. You took a deep breath and mentally prepared yourself for whatever onslaught of anger you’d face.

But, to your surprise, Hyejin simply cleared her throat and rocked back and forth on her heels, a bashful flush in her cheeks. “Um…Y/N?” she asked quietly, standing close to your side.

“Yes?” you managed to choke out, your nerves suffocating.

She scratched her arm and quietly handed you her phone. “Could…could I also get a picture?”

You stiffened and glanced between Hyejin’s downcast eyes and her pale, outstretched hand. “Uh,” you began, then shook your head, returning to your senses with a smile. “Of course.”

She beamed up at you and giggled as she took her spot beside you, holding up a V sign. “Wait!” called Mijin, grabbing Yoongi by the thick sleeve of his black sweater. “Let’s get a group selfie!”

You paused for a moment as Yoongi came to stand behind you. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around you from the back, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your heart raced as you strained your neck to meet his smiling eyes.

“Yoongi-,” you began.

But he simply silenced you with a peck to your cheek. “Take the picture. I think it’ll turn out nice.”

Blushing, you obliged and snapped the shot, all four of you smiling in the deserted grocery store aisle. Once the photo was taken, Yoongi settled for simply holding your hand in his, your face masks still wrapped below your chins, revealing your faces in entirety.

Hyejin was about to speak when a shrill voice shouted from all around the large store. “Mijin! Hyejin! Come to the registers right now!” she shouted over the PA system.

You laughed a little, concealing it as a cough, and wondered just what would have happened if you’d followed through with your impulse to use the PA system yourself.

“Aw!” whined Mijin with a pout. “I wanted to stay longer.”

“Right now!” repeated the voice.

Hyejin and Mijin exchanged nervous looks before smiling brightly at the two of you. “We gotta go,” said Hyejin gently as Mijin began jogging in place. “Th-thank you guys for taking the pictures.”

You smiled and patted her head. “Thank you for being our fans,” you said.

She smiled. “Is…um…is it okay if I post it? All of my friends would be so excited,” she said, her eyes round and expectant.

You were about to adamantly refuse, mindful not to allow this breach to spread further, but Yoongi beat you to it. “Please do,” he said, then draped an arm over your shoulders. “And tag us.”

The girls giggled and agreed to Yoongi’s request before running off down the aisle, waving over their shoulders before disappearing. Quickly, you threw Yoongi’s arm off of you and shot him a glare.

“Min Yoongi, do you realize what you just did?” you asked.

He laughed a little, the gummy kind, and shrugged. “Is it so wrong to be proud of my boyfriend?”

You stiffened, struggling to maintain your resolve, and coughed a little, crossing your arms. “Still…what if it turns out bad?”

Yoongi laughed a little, gently cupping your face in his warm hands. “What if it doesn’t?”

The simplicity in his words disarmed you and you could do nothing but stand still, flushed, as his thumbs traced circles into your skin. Without a word, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. It was a chaste kiss. The kind you’d wanted to do a million times on your late-night dates to the park, your covert coffee-shop trysts, your early morning walks through the city. The kind you saw couples do every day. His lips were soft and gentle, and revealed the quiet intensity that made you fall for him in the first place.

You sighed into him as he slowly broke away, leaning back to give you a grin. “And besides, that Hyejin girl has a crush on you,” he said with a wink. “Gotta keep my competition in line.”

“Yoongi!” you shouted, giving his chest a big smack.

But there was no malice in it. And as you two continued shopping, masks forgotten, smiling freely, you knew that whatever was to come you could face it together. As cliche as it seemed, you knew that your feelings for each other were strong enough to withstand outside pressure. Your companies would have your heads on a silver platter. Your group mates would give you endless lectures. You may have an army of Yoongi stans checking you out and sizing you up.

But you knew one thing for sure: if Mijin and Hyejin were anything to go by, you could both trust your fans.

And more than anything, you could both trust each other to weather the consequences, whatever they may be.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts reaction #bts reactions #bts oneshot #bts one shot #yoongi oneshot #yoongi one shot #yoongi request #bts request #bts reader insert #bts yoongi #suga #bts suga #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst

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kaysmuarchive · 5 years

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TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ➝ CHATZY

who: puck and marley setting: feb 27th., evening /night possible trigger(s): n/a

PUCK only sat out to sleep with Marley so he could prove his brother wrong. But after a lot of text exchanges, he was having a change of heart. He actually enjoyed talking to her and she distracted him from the rest of the road, only to the point of loosing focus. This was probably the stupidest thing he could do with one of his students but here he was going out in public with her. A movie he wasn’t so scared about because it was dark but dinner was a bit nerve wrecking. He had on a simple pair of jeans, matched with a cream long sleeved t-shirt and a jacket to top it off. He ended up shaving his face, making himself look younger. He didn’t look much older with a beard, but he wanted it to seem like they belonged together and no one questioned things. Sitting in his living room, he faced the front door and waited for Marley to arrive so they could leave.

MARLEY couldn't help but to feel nervous. It was like someone had taken all of her nerves and tossed them right into her stomach. She didn't know how she felt right then, to be honest, the last thing that she was expecting was to end up going out with Puck and yet here she was. Going on a date with him. Just because she wanted to feel good and to be honest, he made her feel that way. After telling her mom bye and packing a small overnight bag just in case she ended up staying the night, she made her way out the door and over to Puck's. She was wearing a simple blue dress and her hair was curled over her shoulders. She didn't bring a jacket, it was okay out so she didn't figure she'd need it anyways. Running her fingers through her hair, she looked around slowly as she got out of her car and walked up to his door, knocking on it before she started to rock on her heels gently and she let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding in.

PUCK watched as a car pulled in the drive way and he peeked out the window but out of sight so she couldn’t see him. Hearing a knock on the door he jumped and then quickly looked over himself in the mirror as he went to open the door. “Hey,” he greeted with a smile as he looked over her. Blue was hands down her color. “You look amazing, I feel like I should go change,” he teased. “Did you want to come in or we could go ahead and go?” He asked as he leaned on the door and smiled over at her.

MARLEY waited for him to open the door and she couldn't deny that she was getting nervous. She couldn't really bounce her leg right then but she could at least move. Once he opened the door, she smiled widely up at him and then leaned her head over to the side slowly as she took in the view. "Hey," she spoke back softly, chewing on her lip gently. Shaking her head quickly soon after though, she couldn't let him believe that he didn't look good if not better than her. "No. Stop that. You're going to wear that because I want you to. You look perfect, Noah," she admitted and then she looked inside and took in a breath as she pushed her hands into her pockets. "I'm not sure what time the movie is, so we can do whatever you'd like. If you want I can come in, or we can go. You tell me." She was rambling, so she just stopped talking and looked at her feet while waiting for his answer.

PUCK looked down at his clothes one last time and nodded. “Alright but only because I haven’t done laundry and you insist on me not changing,” he smiled. Looking down at his watch he sighed, “Well, the movie is at 9:00, so we have a little over an hour. Lets go eat and then when we come back I can give you a tour. Locking up behind him he asked her to wait on the sidewalk as he pulled his car out of the garage and asked to move hers in the garage, just a precaution. After he was done he went and opened her door for her and then got in soon after. “I hope you like this place, I’ve only been there a few times but from what I remember it’s really good,” he smiled as he pulled off. “How was your day?”

MARLEY smiled whenever he agreed with her and then she gave him a nod. "Alright, well good. See, I told you that you look great. You just don't listen to me that much, do you?" She teased and then she looked at her phone and back to him. "Oh, okay. That's just fine! No worries there. We can just do that and I would love a tour," she finished. Getting into the car, she pulled in and then walked up to him as he held the door for her. She didn't expect this at all. He was perfect, her perfect kind of perfect and she loved it. "Thank you very much." Buckling in, she looked over at him and then she licked over her lips while listening to him. "I'm sure I will love it. I'm not very picky, you'll learn, I'm very easy to please!" She teased and then looked back out of the window, while her arm rested on the middle. "It was good, just school as usual but it was fun for the most part. What about yours?"

PUCK looked over at her with a shocked expression, “Are you kidding me? I listen to you a lot.” Which wasn’t a lie because he actually was interested in getting to know her and that scared him a lot. Leaning back in his chair, he had one hand on the steering wheel and another on his lap as he focused between her and the road. “All I have to do is give you pasta and I’ve won is what I’m getting so far,” he grinned as he looked over at her. “I imagine it’s boring and you hate it like everyone else. I actually had a decent day. I don’t really enjoy my job but it pays the bills. Talking to you really help me get through the day.”

MARLEY looking over at him, she shook her head a little and then just listened to him with a smile that just kept growing on her face. He was so perfect in her eyes and she didn't know how she felt about that just yet. It scared her, he was her teacher, why should she fall down this road, then again, why shouldn't she? She was 18. It was okay to do, wasn't it? Shaking her head, she got out of her thoughts but she noticed her leg bouncing and she had to make it stop because if she didn't, he'd notice. "Of course you do. I'm aware!" Rolling her eyes at his next comment though, she let out a small giggle and then just found her eyes locked on his once he looked back. "Basically but don't let this go to your head for your own sake, okay? That's all that I ask of you because if you do, then it's ruined," she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. "I actually don't hate it. I love school, I love everything about learning and I want to be a teacher whenever I graduate college, so here's to hoping. English, preferably. Math, maybe. I'm glad that you've had a good day though. It does? You're really the charmer but it's made my day better, too."

PUCK thought about for a split second of just turning the car around and sending her home because the feelings he got when they were texting was one thing but now that they were together, it was just magnified. There was just something about her that he couldn’t explain and he was drawn to it. “I think it’s already gone to my head and there’s no coming back from that once it’s a thing,” he teased. Listening to her talk he noticed her leg shaking and he reached his hand down and placed it on her knee gently and took in a deep breath. He didn’t know how she would take it but he just didn’t want her to be nervous around him. “It’s good that you like school, I like your passion of learning. So, you wanna be a teacher, that’s cool. You seem like you’d be a good teacher, Ms. Rose,” he flirted a little as he looked over at her. “I know you would definitely make me want to come to class,” he flirted some more but then moved his hand because he felt like he was taking it too far with his flirting right then.

MARLEY giggled whenever he was talking about it going to his head. She really enjoyed the idea of it. She really just enjoyed everything about him and that was something that she didn't expect from him. "I guess you'll get a balloon head. I think you should let me deflate it sometime," she teased as she leaned over to kiss his cheek softly. Whenever he had his hand on her leg, she looked down to it, biting on her lip in thought and her leg stopped bouncing as she took in a breath. Looping her arm around his, she almost cuddled into his arm while he spoke. "Really? I'm happy that you do though, I really do try really hard to make sure that everyone gets that I'm serious about school. I don't know why, I just do," biting on her bottom lip, she felt her cheeks turn red and whenever he moved his hand, she pulled it back to her leg and smiled up at him. After time went on, they went to dinner and everything was amazing, it was literally perfect. Running her fingers in her hair, they made it back to his place and she took her food back into the house along with his that they had left over. Walking into the house, she walked behind him and looked around in shock. "This is amazing, holy cow. My house isn't even half this size but whoa," she whispered, smiling up at him as she almost ran into him. "Oof, sorry."

PUCK thought the night was going amazing. Dinner went over well, he didn’t spill anything on himself or her so that was a guaranteed plus. The movie was funny and she seemed to enjoy it. It made him nervous if she was able to read his mind but he couldn’t help his thoughts, she was a wonderful girl. Getting back to his house he let her inside and secured the door behind them. “I just view it as work hard and play harder. We only live once, y’know?” He smiled as he looked over at her. Walking her through his house, the tour ended back in the living room but he was sure to close the door of his sons room because that wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have. If she noticed pictures he would be honest but he wasn’t going to bring it up. “Seems like this concludes the tour. Do you wanna sit outback by the fireplace? I have wine or well tea,” he suggested as he walked to the kitchen. Looking at his watch he noticed the time. “Or do you need to get home?”

MARLEY walked with him through the house and she took in the view of everything. She was just trying to take into consideration the view. It was just amazing to her that he had this. He had this and maybe one day she could have something like this, too. She kept taking in everything, just soaking it in before she looked around and back to him in the living room. "You aren't wrong. You work hard and play harder, this house it honestly the best thing ever. That means that I can have something like this one day, I hope anyways. It's literally so amazing. Looking over at him, she smiled and then bit on her lip before following him into the kitchen. She'd noticed the pictures of the boy but she didn't want to bring it up until he did. "Let's go to the fireplace and tea is fine. I've never had a drink and I also kinda told my mom that I was staying the night over at Kitty's so I guess unless you want me to leave, I'll probably be staying. Unless that's not okay, I can leave. I just figured I could crash on the couch but it's okay, I can go. I can totally leave it you don't like that idea," she rambled, trying to catch her breath as her blue eyes locked on his and then she turned around sighing as she covered her face. "Sorry. I'm doing it again."

PUCK “Thank you. And you totally can have something like this one day,” he smiled over at her as he looked around. He never grew up with much so he knew he was going to live a different life when he got older. Listening to her rambling he watched a she turned away and he walked over in front of her and grabbed her hands, leading her outside to sit on the couches. “You can stay here. I want you to stay here. I’d love to talk to you some more. I enjoy talking to you,” he smiled as he ran inside and put water on the stove for tea. “And the sleeping arrangements will be changed. I will not allow you to sleep on the couch. I’ll sleep on the couch and you can take my bed,” he spoke as he walked back out and sat on the other end of the couch and faced her. “So, how did you like the movie?”

MARLEY "You're welcome," she admitted and the whenever he moved in front of her she looked up at him and then followed him outside. Sitting down, she found herself comfortable more on the couch and she took in a deep breath to gather her thoughts. Hearing he wanted her to stay, it made her feel better as she looked over at him and then she ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay, I'll stay here, as long as you want me to and I'm not invading anything," she spoke in a soft tone before watching him go inside and she looked around before back to her phone quickly to scroll through it and then put it back down quickly. Whenever he sat back down, she smiled and then rested into the couch, keeping close to the fireplace at the same time. "You don't have to sleep on the couch, it's really okay. I wouldn't want you to do that for me. As for the movie, it was amazing. I loved it and also I loved dinner. You did really good. Now, if I could hear your thoughts, that'd be fun. What about you? What'd you think?" She asked, chewing on her lip gently.

PUCK sat across from her and just smiled for a second before he moved closer to her. “You’re not invading anything, I promise. I like the company and when the company is you I enjoy it even more.” Resting back he looked over at her in thought. “Well, how are we going to fix this because I insist on you taking the bed and you won’t be able to change my mind of that,” he insisted with a smirk. Nodding when she said she enjoyed herself he was glad she did. He went to answer her question but he heard the water going off and held his hand up as he went to go make their tea and brought out two mugs, handing her one. Sitting back down he took a sip and sat it on the table. “I thought the movie was great and dinner was amazing as well,” he smiled, “You know if you wanna hear my thoughts, all you have to do is ask.”

MARLEY watched him move closer to her and she couldn't help but smile more as he did. He was something different, she just wanted to make sure that he knew that. "Well, I'm just making sure because I know that you've got your own stuff I'm sure, and I'm just making sure that I'm not doing anything you don't want me to but if you do then, I want you to," she admitted as her eyes found his again. She almost would have leaned over to kiss him but she stopped herself as she chewed on the inside of her bottom lip. "Maybe we'll see how the night goes for what happens because honestly, I refuse to let you do all of this school stuff and then sleep on the couch. I won't do it." Whenever she was waiting for the answer, she leaned closer but then she watched his hand move up before she took the mug from him and took a sip with a content sigh, leaning into the couch again with a content sigh. "Tell me what you're thinking right now," she said in a soft tone, drinking the tea before sitting it on the table as she looked over at him.

PUCK reached over and placed his hand on her knee again, like he had before in the car and looked down at his hand for a second and then looked up at her. “I want you to stay here and I want you to believe me when I say that I want you here,” he spoke in a soft tone as he stared into her blue eyes. “Well, what were you thinking. Do you want me to break out my body pillow and line it down my bed so we each get a side?” He asked with a genuine smile across his face. Hearing her question he sat up from leaning on the couch and moved closer to her to where their legs were touching. “I’m thinking how beautiful you look in that dress... I’m hoping I don’t have anything left in my teeth from dinner because that’s embarrassing. I”m hoping that you actually did have a fun night tonight. And I’m hoping we can do this again sometime,” he spoke softly as he paused a little during each part.

MARLEY watched as he placed his hand on her knee and then she looked back up at him. Letting her hand reach over, she moved it on his face, her fingers moving along his jaw line and then she scooted closer to him slowly. "I believe you," she admitted as she stared back into his eyes. He had her full attention, absolute full attention and she didn't want that to go away. Placing her phone on the table, she slipped it onto silent mode and then she giggled at his next comment. "Yes, you can totally break out the body pillow, I would be okay with that. I think that you could make that work. That body pillow has to say like really firmly between us though," she teased with a small laugh after. Once their legs were touching, she felt her cheeks getting red again and then her smile just grew. "Thank you," she spoke softly and looked at his teeth, paying attention and shook her head. "No, nothing in there. That's a perfect smile. I did, however, have a lot of fun. To be honest, I would love to do it again."

PUCK lied to her about one of his thoughts, he was thinking about kissing her. Not kissing her in a way that he normally would when he brought back. He just wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her slowly, show her how much he enjoyed her. When she moved her hand up to his face he let his eyes close and he just took in the way her hand felt on his face. Fuck it, he thought as he leaned in more and moved his hand up from her knee to her cheek and let his thumb run over her cheek as he stared into her eyes for a minute and bounced his vision between her eyes and lips. Leaning in slowly he pressed his lips against hers and his eyes closed shut as his lips pressed against hers and moved slowly before he pulled back and opened his eyes slowly and looked over at her as his breathing picked up.

MARLEY didn't know what was happening whenever he was moving closer but whenever she watched him moving closer, she took in a deep breath. That was whenever his lips were pressed against hers and she kissed him back softly, her hand moving up to his cheek slowly as she scooted closer to him, staying with him before he backed away and she looked up into his eyes. "Wow," she whispered, leaning back over to him slowly, she kissed him again. She didn't know what she was feeling, she was just going with it. He was amazing and he made her want things that she didn't know that she wanted before she slowly moved back and took in a breath. "Sorry," she whispered, her eyes fluttering open, trying to focus her breathing.

PUCK was starting to panic on the inside but tried his best not to show it. He didn’t want to scare her off, that was the last thing he wanted. When she leaned back in he felt a smirk come across his face as their lips touched again and his eyes fell shut. Moving his lips against her slowly his eyes shot open after she pulled back and he heard her say sorry. Slowing his breathing he let his hands fall to his sides as he looked confused. “Why are you sorry?”

MARLEY heard him speak, looking up at him as he did before biting on her lip in thought. "I like kissing you. I like that you are my first kiss and I want to keep kissing you," she whispered as she finally slowed her breathing, her fingers finding her hair and she sighed. Moving over so she could wrap her arms around his neck, she smiled up at him. "I'm happy you did that."

PUCK smiled over at her at the sound of her words and her reactions and all his nerves and worry went away for the first time fully all night and he just melted into her arms. He couldn’t explain this feeling to anyone if they asked him what the hell he was doing. He was just being happy for the first time in a while. “I’m happy that you liked it because kissing you is fun and I think I would rather kiss you all night over sleeping,” he spoke softly as he leaned in and kissed her again, this time with just a little more force.

finished with head canons of:

their conversations shortened and their making out grew deeper. things got a little too much for marley, he understood and helped her get situated in his room for the night and he went out to the couch.

#points — all.#points — arc three.#noah.#* & ◞ — ‹ ᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ › hot for teacher #* & ◞ — ‹ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ › chatzy #* & ◞ — ‹ ᴄʜᴀᴛᴢʏ › tell me what you’re thinking

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webmarket01 · 3 years

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How to Eat More Vegetables for Weight Loss and Health - Tips that Work

New Post has been published on https://weightlosshtiw.com/how-to-eat-more-vegetables-for-weight-loss-and-health-tips-that-work/

How to Eat More Vegetables for Weight Loss and Health - Tips that Work

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When I first heard the “gold standard” of healthy eating meant eating 9 servings of fruits and vegetables every day, my head nearly exploded. How to eat more vegetables was the very next thing I Googled!

It sounded like A LOT and to be honest, completely impossible.

But changing to this food focus was the key to my lasting weight loss because it flipped the switch from what not to eat to what to eat for my best life.

It’s more fun to be focused on what you can do.The challenge of hitting 7 vegetables daily prompted me to think more about my meals in a positive way.

Learning how to eat more vegetables took some practice for me and it’s often one of the questions those reading the Running for Weight Loss Guide are the most excited about figuring out.

So I’m here with a ton of tips to make it easier for you, even when traveling!

Tips to Eat More Vegetables

First let’s define that in this 7-9 servings the goal is a 1:3 ratio of fruit to vegetables.

In other words eat more vegetables and less fruit to get to that number. This is to ensure you aren’t just doubling down on sugar and instead are getting a variety of nutrients to fuel every run and help you recover.

Of course you could be an overachiever and go for 13, but 9 is an easily achievable number for anyone.

START TRACKING YOUR VEGGIES

When I first made it a goal to track my veggies/fruits I was shocked at how few made it in to my diet…but now it’s second nature aka HABIT. I order veggie omelets, I add shredded carrots to oatmeal, I snack on turkey wrapped around a green pepper.

I don’t eat things that I don’t like, but with time my taste buds have changed and I happen to get really excited about counting up my veggie intake. hey runner’s are all about numbers!

PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD

Want to get excited about eating vegetables, then you need to change the narrative.

Now is the time to try new things. You don’t need to overhaul your diet.

I rarely find that works! Especially when trying to get the less enthused onboard.

How to make Vegetables Taste Good?

Hidden Vegetable Ideas

One of my favorite things are sneaky veggies. And these tend to be the best ideas for those picky eaters in the family.

Changing taste buds doesn’t happen overnight, in fact a nutritionist recently told me you often have to expose kids at least 20 times before they’ll accept a new food. HOLY COW!!

How do you get vegetables without eating them?

Here are the S’s for super simple sneaky satisfying ways to eat more vegetables and fruits (aka freggies) all day long:

Smoothies Really this has to be the easiest way to get in a minimum of 3 servings right off the bat, but often my smoothies are up to 5 servings! Start with basic green smoothie recipe and branch out from there.

Basically blending your veggies, adds a whole lot of opportunities.

Super Oats Adding fruit and shredded carrots or zucchini is simple, plus totally satisfying as it bulks up your breakfast without adding many calories. Love this protein oatmeal post run!!

Scrambled Eggs Eggs with veggies used to be one of my favorite go to meals have a food intolerance to eggs now. My favorite on the go way to sneak in veggies is this 3 Minute Breakfast:

Put egg, egg whites, broccoli, and carrots (or other veggies) in a microwave-safe bowl and cook for 2 minutes. Stir and cook a few more seconds, if needed. Mix in hummus and serve.

Or even a slice of bread topped with avocado, spinach, red pepper and two eggs. It’s a fabulous source of Vitamin D and protein that seem to make veggies easier for some people to hide.

Salad Power Bowl Meals A reminder that salads aren’t just a big bowl of iceburg lettuce! Nope, we’re looking to get both protein and veggies which will support our running, leave us full and help with any weight loss goals.

Sweet Potato Roasted alone to make fries or baked and topped with shredded broccoli and tahini boom 2 veggies…mm love it. This ain’t your holiday marshmallow yams my friends, it’s a super versatile food that adds some great flavor to all kinds of dishes.

Spiralize There is something about turning a veggie into something that looks like noodles which gives it a whole new life and excitement. Especially for kids who get to help prepare the meal!

Shred It Buying shredded carrots, broccoli or other veggies makes them easier to slip in to recipes and go undetected by picky eaters.

Soup Veggie based soups and chilis are some of the best ways to really pile in the veggies! In fact, I’ve found that I can double the number of veggies my family would normally eat by putting them in a soup.

Even a standard chicken soup in the crockpot gets a little bump in my house with extra shredded carrots, peppers and mushrooms. Everyone loves that it feels heartier and more filling!

Squash it Spaghetti squash topped with tomatoes and spinach is easily 3 servings then you can add in your protein of choice (a good meatball completes the idea that it’s pasta). It will never replace pasta, but it’s seriously delicious. (checkout this option with goat cheese) Of course you can also make squash fries too!

Roasted butternut squash is a fun add to pastas, where many will enjoy the slightly sweet flavor.

Saute It Most of our picky eaters love butter…so sometimes you gotta start there!

Sports Nutrition Start using dried fruit, instead of chemically created gels for long run fuel and you’ve just added another serving of fruit to your day!

Snack Ever need a crunch? You’d be surprised how satisfying carrot sticks or apple slices can be in those moments.

To make it happen have veggies pre-sliced and put in little baggies to grab and go, and fruit front and center in the fridge.

Did you know: It is estimated that if Americans ate the recommended amounts of fruits and vegetables every day, approximately 39,900 deaths would be prevented from cardiovascular diseases, stroke and diabetes and $7.6 billion in medical costs could be saved annually (Study)

Super Size it Honestly I like to eat and I like to feel full, which is part of what has lead me to embrace the veggie based lifestyle!

My meal size is often double, but less calories than what others are eating with the added benefit of looking amazing thanks to all the color!

Plus just think with all that extra fiber, you’ll be fuller and flushing out toxins which then decreases cravings!

Just like lacing up your shoes to hit the gym, it’s a habit and it takes a little practice and a little planning. Try spending a couple extra minutes this week, thinking “could I add a fruit or veggie to this” and I bet you’ll be surprised to find the answer is always yes.

What is a Serving of Vegetables?

Looking for tips on what really counts as a serving of fruit? The Kitchn provided this great graphic and a breakdown which you can read more about! Overall here are some general ideas to help you see how it easy it is to make even your sandwich count as 2 servings!

Getting in your servings doesn’t have to be hard or tasteless as you can see from the above ideas. I’m super grateful to brands like Subway and partners like the American Heart Association who are stepping up to spread the word.

How do I eat 5 servings of vegetables a day?

Based on the tips above, here is a meal plan that easily incorporates 5 servings of vegetables:

Ok if you count the sauce that’s actually more than 5!

And if you hate carrots, what about a few chips with a fresh salsa. There really are a lot of options once you start looking at your food a little differently.

Finally here are 21 Hidden Vegetable recipe ideas!

How do you ensure you get plenty of veggies?

Do you get 9 servings a day?

Other ways to connect with Amanda

Get each new post in your inbox — talk about speedy service

This content was originally published here.

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illdothedisheslater · 6 years

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Not-So Brave Brownies:

Q: Why don't you bake more?

A: Shut up. Why don't YOU bake more?

Follow up: Seriously. Mr. Dishes loves desserts. It's totally a thing that people who cook do. It would make him ever so happy. YOU like desserts too.

A: Because I suck at it okay? Happy now?

Reply: Delighted.

No, I am not much of a baker. I've made literally hundreds, maybe even thousands of chocolate chip cookies in my life – they all ranged from meh to fine. Not terrible – it's hard to screw them up that bad, but just not... Great. I'm not going to make some broad, sweeping statement about how there are only TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE – cooks and bakers, because that's not true, obviously. But 14 seasons of Top Chef taught me that the dessert people almost always go home early. And the non-dessert people always eff up the desserts and head home shortly thereafter. I'm a non-dessert person I guess. But I've always said that anyone who can read can cook (another blatant lie), so surely I can follow a recipe and bake some brownies for Mr. Dishes? Let's see.

Since I always wake up obscenely early for no good goddamn reason on the weekends, I first whip up two batches of boxed brownie mix just for funsies/I am a crazy person. They are Ghirardelli Caramel Turtle Brownies and Ghirardelli Triple Fudge Brownies. They are both delicious, easy to make, and generally pretty awesome. Everybody loves boxed brownie mixes right?

Q: You had to dig through the trash can to find the boxes and see what kind they were didn't you?

A: Yes of course.

I go to Serious Eats first and pick BraveTart's Glossy Fudge Brownies because they seem pretty basic – no weird or fanciful ingredients, just high quality regular ones. And I agree with Stella Parks that the crackly top is non-negotiable. The top must crackle. Also, it calls for three sticks of butter, so you know it's gonna be good. And also because I met Ms. Parks last year, when she stopped by my office to sign her new cookbook BraveTart for a charity auction, and graciously signed a book for me as well (okay, three, but I paid full retail for them, since I didn't have time to order them online.) Lastly, I know I use it an awful lot, but Serious Eats is great. I don't always love their recipes (pizza and pasta mostly - give it a rest with the damn onions and anchovies already), but the people there seem super nice – write them with a question or comment, and they always reply.

Instead of going step-by-step through the process, which is available on the website, and written much more concisely than I am capable of, I'll just hit the highlights.

The butter is browned then chocolate melted in.

The eggs are creamed until foamy with sugar, salt, instant espresso, and DAMMIT as I'm typing I realize I forgot the vanilla completely. There is a whole tray of brownies downstairs with no vanilla in them. I might not be the best food blogger out there, but by-God I'm honest. And profane.

(Action shot!)

If you've managed to avoid drinking the brown butter/chocolate concoction, add it to the eggs, then the dry ingredients (flour and cocoa). Mix, pour, and bake.

(Hey! KitchenAid! Check out this product placement! Send me some free stuff!)

(Just kidding.)

(But if you really want to, I mean, I guess that would be okay.)

Oh wait – there's a whole section about how important it is to use a 9x13 aluminum baking pan. Like very detailed reasons why, and also why a glass baking pan is for losers and will ruin your life, insult your grandmother, and rub blisters onto your pinky toes. Well my aluminum baking pan got thrown out two weeks ago. It was a nice one with squishy padded handles that, unfortunately, had reached the end of their lives and were starting to disintegrate. No amount of washing could get the sticky out. Fortunately I read the whole recipe beforehand, and was prepared with a brand new baking pan!

(Nelson Muntz laugh). I did not do that. I baked it in glass like a loser.

Anyway, after thirty excruciating minutes of letting them cool, here is the result:

Holy cow! That’s glossy and crackly!

They are, of course, delicious. Worth the extra time and trouble? Well... I mean... Sure why not? A little on the gooey side, but they are pretty damn good. Now I have to eat something like 53 brownies before they go stale. C'est la vie.

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365-money-diary · 6 years

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DAYS 342 - 348

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-TWO

8:00 AM - I am so tired. Holy cow.

8:30 AM - I make it to work on time (we have to be here at 8:30 on Mondays) and I kind of feel terrible. I make my assistant and I coffee and I toast a piece of bread.

9:00 AM - I call Guitar Center because I need to authorize the charge I made last week for the mixer I’ve been saving up for. The charge won’t hit my account until the product is shipped so I have a couple weeks before recording this charge in this diary.

10:00 AM - I make a new goal in Simple for a king sized bed and frame. I’ll put my DJ money in this specific goal and after I buy my CR-V, I’ll put $100-200 of my savings into this goal every month depending on what my car payment ends up being. I set the goal for January 1, 2019 with the hopes that if I don’t have all the money saved up by then that I’ll pay for the rest with my bonus.

12:00 PM - I walk to Sprouts and buy 3 avocados, a cucumber, two lite goddess dressings, a bag of potato chips, grape tomatoes, kale, an onion, and a chocolate bar. $15.34

4:58 PM - I stop in and get Blaze pizza for dinner on my way home. They’re doing a promo where if you stop in before 5:00, you get a $5 pizza with the purchase of a drink. $7.84

5:30 PM - I hang out with my dog and watch the new season of Love while I eat.

7:30 PM - I head to IKEA. I buy candles, a few plates to hold the candles in, a wooden board for charcuterie, and a small pitcher. $66.38

9:00 PM - I set up all the new candles and my living room looks rad. I pour myself a glass of wine and continue to watch Love.

2:00 AM - I finish the third season in one sitting. Whoops.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-TWO TOTAL: $89.56

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-THREE

9:15 AM - I arrive at work and make coffee for me and my colleague.

12:00 PM - I eat some green chili chips. Today is one of those days where I really want to not eat at the office but I bought so much stuff yesterday that I can’t really justify it.

12:45 PM - I open a tangerine La Croix and make a salad for lunch. I’m not sure about the intensity of this goddess dressing. I feel like the vinegar is tearing apart every part of my mouth.

3:30 PM - My colleague and I are working alone today and we decide to get froyo. $4

5:00 PM - I arrive home from work and am feeling terrible. I have a really good conversation with my mom about how I might be wasting my time at work since the flow’s been so slow for the past year and a half and I’m wondering how much longer I can take it.

6:00 PM - I eat leftover bbq jackfruit and coleslaw but I know I’ll be hungry later. I also browse amazon / the internet for a few ingredients so I can start making my own vegan cheese. I buy kappa carrageenan and lactic acid powder from a weird marketplace but it’s $15 cheaper than amazon. $21.97

7:00 PM - I meet a friend for a glass of wine at Gracie’s. I buy myself a glass of wine and it comes in like a 6 ounce container. I feel like I keep striking out here for some reason. Wish I liked beer better. $7

10:15 PM - I drop my friend off at home and realize that I’m starving. We don’t really have food at home for meals right now so I stop at Del Taco and order a small fry and an 8 layer veggie burrito with no cheese or sour cream. $5.73

11:00 PM - I finish watching Vanderpump Rules and then head to bed.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-THREE TOTAL: $38.70

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR

8:15 AM - I peel myself out of bed and hop in the shower.

9:00 AM - I roll into work around the same time as my colleague. I make us coffee and skip the toast.

10:00 AM - I discover Amazon has a deal for trying all of the Bubly seltzer. I buy a pack of 18 for $11. $12.49

11:00 AM - I’m knee deep in some illustrator work so I much on some green chili chips at my desk.

12:00 PM - I’m out of kale, so I run to Sprouts super quick to pick some up. I feel really good about only buying kale! $0.89

12:30 PM - I make my salad with the leftover tomatoes, onion, avocado, cucumber, and goddess dressing and open up my last can of tangerine La Croix. I finish my salad and enjoy a sea salt dark chocolate square.

3:00 PM - I head over to an appointment I have with an otorhinolaryngologist. It takes a while for them to call me back. $85

5:00 PM - I leave the doctor with some heaviness in my heart. It appears that my ears are probably fucked. As a consolation to myself, I run next door to Whole Foods and buy a bottle of wine, natural Pringles (spoiler alert: they’re terrible), a piece of vegan pizza, Field Roast mini corn dogs, and a 6 pack of peach seltzer. $32.62

6:00 PM - I eat the pizza and preheat the oven for my corn dogs and pour myself a glass of wine. Today is stupid.

7:00 PM - I literally spend the rest of my night looking at my phone. I fall asleep talking to a friend via Facebook chat around midnight.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR TOTAL: $131.00

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-FIVE

9:30 AM - I roll into work a little late today, but I’m the only one here. I make coffee for my assistant who is coming late today and a piece of toast.

10:00 AM - I venmo my sister money for our hair and makeup for the wedding. $150

11:00 AM - I get a text from my boyfriend and he says he’ll be heading home this afternoon. Makes me feel bad because I really haven’t had the motivation to clean our house before he arrives home.

12:00 PM - Our coworker picks us up and we all go out to lunch. I wouldn’t normally do this, but she took the week off and is bored and wants company. I oblige. We go to Handcut and I get a cocktail, a burger, and fries. I kind of needed the drink from last night’s news, but am kicking myself for spending $30 on lunch! Tomorrow I will eat salad like a good girl. $33

4:30 PM - I leave work early and head home.

6:00 PM - I pick up my boyfriend’s prescription on my way home. $5.94

7:00 PM - We order JJ for dinner. Boyfriend pays.

9:00 PM - We watch a doc on Netflix about doping in the Olympics and how Russia cheated the system every year.

11:00 PM - Bed.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-FIVE TOTAL: $188.94

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX

9:00 AM - Coffee and toast.

11:30 AM - My boss takes us out to lunch at Bevvy. I get a veggie burger and a beer. He pays!

4:00 PM - I stop at QT on the way home from work and get gas and a bottle of Gatorade. $28.91

7:00 PM - My boyfriend orders us Jimmy Johns for dinner.

9:30 PM - I stop at Cartel for a tea before going out. Friends are working so it’s free.

10:00 PM - I meet a new friend, E, and my BFF at The Van Buren for PAO. I get a rose and we hang for some of their set. $12

12:00 AM - E, BFF, and I head over to Rebel to catch my DJ Friend and the guy I played the Bowie night with tear up the dancefloor. BFF buys me a drink.

2:30 AM - I drop everyone off and arrive at home and fall asleep.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX TOTAL: $40.91

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-SEVEN

10:00 AM - I can’t believe I’m awake. Boyfriend and I head to Cartel. He buys coffee and I don’t get anything.

11:00 AM - We grab brunch at Gallo Blanco. I get an iced tea and pozole. He gets a breakfast burrito and we split chips. I pay. $27

12:00 PM - We head out to Home Depot to buy some stuff for the yard. Boyfriend pays for the tools.

12:30 PM - Next, we hit up Tempe Marketplace and go to Petsmart to get Katy Perry’s dog food. $43.23

1:00 PM - Target’s next. I get toothpaste, dish detergent, countertop spray, and spatulas. $24.70

2:00 PM - We arrive home and I finish the rest of my pozole and then we head outside to pull weeds.

4:00 PM - I take a nap.

6:30 PM - I take a shower and eat noodles for dinner.

7:30 PM - My friend E stops by my house and we head to Rebel for Shopping & French Vanilla. I stop by Cartel to grab a tea before heading out. $5.25

8:30 PM - The show is amazing. I’ve been looking forward to this night for like three months. Both bands are super energetic and amazing and basically everything I ever want to be. E buys me a drink for getting her into the show.

10:30 PM - And it’s 90’s Nite! I light up the dancefloor. People lose their minds and start a conga line when I play Vengaboys.

2:00 AM - I close out with Donna Lewis, collect my $200 and head out.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-SEVEN TOTAL: $100.18

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-EIGHT

9:00 AM - Boyfriend lowkey drags me out of bed. I buy us coffee from Cartel. $10.75

9:30 AM - He buys us bagels from Einstein’s.

10:00 AM - We run to AZ Mills and I buy a neon yellow hoodie from the nike outlet ($15.12) and a Charlie Conway replica jersey from the Mighty Ducks. ($86.48) $101.60

11:00 AM - We head back home and I pull records for a thing I’m playing later this afternoon. I also order us JJ for lunch. $17.99

2:00 PM - I arrive at my friend’s backyard, unload all my stuff, and start playing.

7:00 PM - The event was really fun. Everyone stayed for a while and drank coffee. I had a lot of fun and I’m glad I was asked to be a part of it. Friend Venmos me $30 for helping out.

9:00 PM - Boyfriend and I run to the grocery store. I get a couple cans of salsa, a few tomatoes, an onion, some cilantro, pasta, cream cheese, salad dressing, and a few big sur breakfast burritos. $26.43

9:30 PM - I make pasta, bread, and shitty salad for me and my boyfriend for dinner.

10:00 PM - In bed.

DAY THREE HUNDRED FORTY-EIGHT TOTAL: $156.77

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