#ISNT THAT FUCKING INSANE. THIS IS MY REAL LIFE?? THIS IS MY REAL LIFE

[mwagneto]

okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks

#i wanna go to aotearoa I've always wanted to but it's so FAR AWAY. also i need somewhere cold also i #love authentic gothic buildings too much to leave europe. but omfggggg #like it's truly so. i dont want to move somewhere where english isnt a main language but the #uk is out and ireland is unlikely and canada is just somewhat nicer french usa and nz is 4 days travel away. blows up #whatever i have 4 semesters of uni left to think about it. it just feels like im #hurtling full speed at the inevitability of living the rest of my life in Germany #i dont want to live in germany idek why but im sooo. like omg nooo 😭😭😭 #partly because it's such a cliché but also coz it's such a vacation country for me like we #went there for vacation like. unironically at least 3 times every single year #insert joke abt *getting back at the 10000000000 german tourists that come to hungary every day* that I'm too sleepy to make #it's so . like i used to have a specific goal in mind (uk ☹️) but then SOMEONE had to go and leave the eu #and also the uk sucks fat shit like csöbörből vödörbe omg. but now i have no #real goal so im just drifting w the vague knowledge that any second now I'll have to pack all my #shit up and escape before it's too late. but where 😀😀😀 #i have no qualms abt leaving my f*mily behind but I'll miss budapest #and if i left Europe I'd miss it too especially coz even canada feels really far let alone nz which yknow. 3-4 days of travel #it's the lack of goals that's killing me like OMFGG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK HARD AND #STRIVE FOR SMTG WHEN I HAVE NOTHING SPECIFIC IN MIND... #i mean ''get the fuck out'' is something but it's not Enough. i need to be insane about a #place that's accessible. all the cities/locations im crazy about are inaccessible for one reason or another #bristol and wales are in the uk. nz is on the exact opposite side of the planet. life so sad. #canada is the most likely one honestly but like omgggg. godddddjfdnffnfjfmmf #they should invent a budapest that's not in hungary. they should invent a hungary that isn't comically awful #barking #ok to rb #eastern europe #like im fluent in 3 languages and i can get by in like 10 other ones i Could brush up on any language relatively quickly if it came to that #but it's like. 1. I'd have to pick a location 2. learning a new language also means #getting an entire new personality as well which yknow. idk if i have the capacity for another one rn #i should just become fluent in the ones im somewhat good at but idk which to pick

[bicon-crange]

this sucks so much ass i should be able to sue and i fucking mean that

#LIKE WE ARE GOING ON WEEK THREE OF THIS TORMENT AND I HAVENT GOTTEN ANY LESS SANE #IM SERIOUS WHEN DOES THIS SHIT GO AWAY #im fucking. im erratic!!! im lightheaded my CHEST HURTS i cant BREATHE im borderline getting vertigo here this SHOULD COUNT AS A SICKNESS I #SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL IN SICK TO SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS MASSIVE BULLSHIT #SORRY? ANY LESS SANE I MEANT ANY MORE SANE FFS #i talked to someone in my real actual life about this today and they were like yeah it sounds like ur going insane lol. THANKS I KNWOW #THIS IS SO CRAZY EMBARRASSING!! HEY!!! THIS IS SO CRAZY EMBARRASSING and on top of that theres no WAY this is going to work #like lets get worst case scenario here folks lets say i do talk to them and theyre like woah! hey! i like you too! :] #theres no way im not fucking stupid and dont immidiately shoot myself in the foot with it theres no FUCKING way #ugh i already know myself. i KNOW ill be like well thats a bad idea actually!!!! bc youre great and fucking. brilliant and personable and #totally gorgeous and EVERYONE likes you and theres no way in hell my dumb ass isnt just going to drag you down!!!! #theres no WAY you dont deserve better than this!! theres no POSSIBLE world where you don't have better options!!! #ugh doesnt THAT just reek of insecurity or just being a lil shyyy but i MEAN IT. I TOTALLY MEAN IT. ugh. i hate it here i hate it here i ha

[thepictoblr]

Absolutely insane line of thought process is keeping me up tonight from sheer anxiety and its like how do u explain to anyone that some niche beef on the fucking internet has left u remembering one of the most harrowing experiences of ur life

#anyway james if u ever see this i hope u know that youre insane and not in a funny silly endearing way #but in a 'holy shit get a therapist' way #in a 'how fucking dare you make the most foul out of left field assumptions' #'about my private life. about my own experiences' #'to try get a stupid leg up about how much you really hate a fucking stupif ass fighting game character' #fun fact- u LITERALLY share the name of one of my abusive step siblings #who left me traumatized even now #how fucking DARE you envoke ur own abuse and trauma #to justify being a foul piece of shit to anyone who dares breathe in the same space as u who likes a fucking dumb ass #fictional man who isnt real #as if ur the only guy on earth whose ever dealt with familial abuse #youre fucking INSANE #get HELP #this shouldnt even bug me cause its such a stupid fucking thing to be mad about #but ig in that regard im no better than you

[wormsdyke]

not to be dramatic but ooooohhhhh my god???? what???? what the fuck?????? can anyone hear me??????? what the fuck??????

#just like in general #but also. i'm. i'm sitting here trying to learn how to calculate population growth rate #my dad died. and im trying (and failing) to learn how to calculate population growth rate. my real life dad is dead and i'm doing homework #im sitting on the floor of the communal laundry room eating spaghetti out of tupperware trying to teach this to myself #and the only reason i have to teach it to myself is because i missed most of this class. because my dad died! #like???????? this feels unreal??????? #how am i supposed to do this. how am i supposed to just do this. #a week before he died almost exactly i walked for hours around the parking lot of my apt complex in the middle of the night #and then he died. really died. is not coming back died. and now im sitting here calculating population growth #this is not possible #what??????????? #how am i supposed to just pick everything back up and turn in all my late work? my fucking dad died! in pain! terribly! #grief isn't linear its a stealth sniper #um. oh my god. #i keep having this intrusive thought that i want to grab people by the shoulders and shake them and say isnt this insane? isnt this terribl #how could this have happened? isn't it terrible? isnt it hard to believe? #i feel like i want someone to look back at me shocked and say oh my god that is terrible it is hard to believe it is insane #so that i dont feel so insane. i dont know #i feel like im going to throw up my tupperware spaghetti #and then what? i keep doing overdue homework? #i go outside to throw up in the parking lot then i keep doing homework and in a bit i fold my laundry? how am i supposed to do that? #vent post #obviously #j. #tw: grief #orating!

[matoitech]

awakened the beast of terrible things i saw more commonly abt promare when it first came out that i forgot till now but all i can say to that is well at least i dont see that shit around anymore bcuz the fandom ppl you’d expect 2 rub their homophobic fucked up little hands over new canon gay anime men of the month moved on to more recent things and thank GOD. galo and lio need a fucking break. and me too as a real life person

#im someone who intentionally stayed VERY far away from Promare Fandom stuff too #for many reasons but the main one was i liked it too much to want to see what the voltron fandom moms hot takes were #i read that shit from a mile away movie w gay anime guys gets popular and u r a gay real life guy u do not get near the fandom #u find ur own little group of guys and hang out and do not look over there #and i still saw so much. and i was trying very hard 2 not know what was going on #i stayed away from fandom stuff anyway but w prmare was like my final im not even going to look up fanfiction 4 this one #LIKE I DO GENUINELY RLY LOVE SEEING FAN CONTENT WHEN ITS NORMAL JUST. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS #U JUST KNEW PPL WERENT GOING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT. #and they were not. read correctly unfortunately. with my bi guy autistic transgender etc senses #AND THIS IS JUST HOMOPHOBIA THIS ISNT EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE LIKE. GALO BEING AN CANON AUTIST. GOOD FUCKING LORD #THE ABLEISM WAS AT THE SAME LEVEL IF NOT WORSE THAN THE HOMOPHOBIA #esp bcuz it was coming from like allistic lgbt ppl so like #there was the factor of even the self proclaimed 'normal' ppl not even REMOTELY being normal abt THAT part of galos character #there was a lot of lower level stuff but there was also some of the most upsetting completely fucking insane bullshit #you have literallyy ever seen #like u were just seeing allistics just blatantly share their evil little thoughts w the world and project them on2 lio #and u thought oh so thats how u justify how u treat us to urself

[hecksupremechips]

Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4

#i have banned myself from engaging with any persona 4 related content (except for memes my sister sends me) #because yeah its genuinely deeply upsetting for me and i always feel like absolute shit #but aghhh for some reason my brain has been fixated on it this week thinking about all the offensive garbage it is #and i keep thinking of all the evidence i can gather definitively proving that the writing is sooooo homophobic/transphobic #which is a very easy thing to gather up and prove since its all over the damn place lol #but like im just so fixated on how awful the game is and how the fans are even worse and i have this urge to argue forever #something im sure a lot of yall can relate to #cuz god it hurts to be screaming at people that theyre hurting you and for them to just say no to you as if its up for debate #if this sounds dramatic cuz its Juat A Game liiiike no its not Just A Game this is about #my daily life requires me to argue my existence constantly and its the same for every other damn marginalized person out there #and idk if youre still gonna either ignore or deny that persona 4 isnt batshit insanely offensive then youre stupid #i dont have the patience to argue shit like this anymore because theres no way someone with a brain can deny shit like that #and quite frankly even well intentioned queer fans who try to make headcanons that either say fuck you to the game #or hcs that do nothing at all to challenge the bigotry in p4 are kinda annoying to me #cuz it hurts too much to play along like yeah id LOVE to just slap a rainbow on kanji and a trans guy badge on naoto #and call it a day and enjoy the game outside of it all but thats kinda impossible #when these two characters entire existence revolves around the bigotry and its done in a way that hurts like hell to see #its too real for me to enjoy even if i make positive ‘fuck you atlus’ fan art #yeah ughhhh whatever its just annoying cuz I’ve been doing a good job at blocking this game away from my life #cuz it brought nothing but anger to me but its just been something thats been stuck on me lately #and im really not sure what triggered this or why its been lingering so long like please stoppp #its really embarrassing to be having bad mental illness over a shitty bibleo game 🙄

[angeliic]

vent post idc

#being a split in a system fuckign sucks man #especially when youre a fictive like im not even fucking real dude #imjust in this head bc the hosts brain couldnt deal with life #and now i gotta sit here and watch them and their partner get it on while i miss my boyfriend and cant even talk to him because guess what #he isnt fucking real #hes a damn comic character #now if you believe in the multiverse theory then yeah hes somewhere out there and this is just the universe we were put into #two fictives in a system or whatever idfk #im tired and i wish i had someone to cuddle #but alas im not into women #and our partner is a woman #how does anyone even cope with this #theres so many layers of fucking illnesses here its insane #wild #vent #and like we set hard boundaries because the host doesnt want to be poly and thats cool man i get it like #im not even fronting most of the time #but fuck man when i am i feel so fucking unwanted and alone it sucks so hard and i dont blame anyone here because i shouldnt even be here #in the first place #im gonna nap #also how does one cope with these feelings man when you know youre not real #like the body is and im taking care of it but im just from a comic man i dont even exist #how does one deal with this level of shit

[mcmadcanvas]

Google search: what to do when your abusers WONT stop trying to contact you, and you cant even establish a firm boundry without said abusers exploding like little pissbabies at the thought that you dont exist solely for them to use and belittle

...0 results found...

#im going fucking insane #my parents have each called me at least twice every fucking day for 2 weeks #and i KNOW it isnt an emergency bc they dont leave any voicemails aside from trying to guilt trip me into calling them #and i cant block them or tell them to fuck off bc THEY control the narrative in my fuckall hugeass family #and they will bring them all down on my head if i 'try anything' #doesnt help that i had a real 'fuck you up' nightmare about my husbands family having me arrested for 'degeneracy' #while they turned him against me #idk what to do.... about anything #i feel like my life is crumbling at the foundation while the contactors tell me it'll be a 600000 dollar fix #of get used to getting stuck in the holes in the floor #i dont know what to do #mc og

[leonsmain]

been thinking a lot about what i’d do with the rest of my life if money wasn’t an object

#cuz on one hand my family wants me to go to med school and become a doctor or a surgeon and thats the life ive been planning for for 16 yrs #with that life id probably retire around 40 and write a novel or two?? #but entrepreneurship has always intrigued me ??? so much to the point that i looked into the possibility of creating-mass.prod. something - #-medically beneficial?? that way its still semi related to what ive been preparing for alr?? but that life is either completely pass or fail #qnd honestly??? i say i wanna make a difference so much but being a doctor only goes so far #introducing something new to the medical community sounds enticing but am i ip for the risk?? lmao ofc not #what sucks is that at the end of the day im like everyone else?? i just want to be financially stable and secure forever #i was to create something bigger than be and contribute something to the world but at the end of the day i probably wont? #does that make sense #and if im being so for real with myself i HATE medical studies??? lmao im only interested in it for the money :/ #and yeah i guess no one ever ends up doing what they love #but if i had complete fucking freedom id play keyboard or guitar for some nobody ass band and be happy #i think id just want to spend time with friends and make music for the rest of my life but thats just. impossible in this world isnt it #leo talks [🦔] #im so confined to a tight schedule that its insane wtv #ignore my screaming into the void i just needed to type out my thoughts 😍

[formulafics]

★ THE JPG CHRONICLES | #3

Scenario: yn ln, the mclaren reserve driver and a fan + grid favorite, makes a jpg account that no one quite expected. this time around, she avoids answering the question everyone wants to know: who is the “boyfriend” she mentioned?

Pairing: F1 grid x fem!reader

A/N: yall i am SCHEMING you don’t even know what’s coming. that being said, after reading this part, who do you think yn’s bf is? 👀another shoutout to @renarots for supplying the memes and scheming with me 😼 i hope you guys enjoy!!

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 4

yn.jpg

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 245,678 others

yn.jpg week three - max verstappen caught lacking 😨

view all 4,678 comments

maxverstappen1 awe thanks mate

⤷ yn.jpg your welcome <333

danielricciardo LMAOOOO

ynsgirl okay babe but who is the boyfriend 😭

⤷ rizzciardo i’d tell yall to give the girl a break but i wanna know too

yn.jpg

liked by landonorris, georgerussel63, alex_albon, oscarpiastri, pierregasly, and 265,890 others

yn.jpg week four - got his ass. team principals go crazy (zak pls don’t fire me)

view all 5,678 comments

mclaren mr.brown says you’re 🤏🏻 close :)

⤷ yn.jpg admin i know who you are i will hunt you down

⤷ mclaren 😥

⤷ piastrispastry HELP ME. LET THEM STAND UP YN

rizzciardo notice how the zak picture isn’t that bad. i just know she’s been on the brink of losing her job bc he was fed up LMFAO

⤷ yn.jpg wrong he loves me

⤷ oscarpiastri “love” is a strong word

⤷ yn.jpg you’re about to be banished from this account (and so is your bf tell lando to stop harassing me)

⤷ landolover yn is a landoscar truther just like the rest of us </3

norrisnation babe please give us anything on who the bf is

⤷ yn.jpg it’s

⤷ norrisnation and you gave us nothing 😕

yn.jpg

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, yukitsunoda0511, fernandoalo_official, and 189,345 others

yn.jpg week 5 - slice of life 🌅 also how the fuck do yall have will fucking buxton asking me about my bf?

view all 2,456 comments

landonorris i like your camera ;)

⤷ yn.jpg thanks. my friend lando got it for me

⤷ norrisnation LANDOYN CRUMBS

landonorris boyfriend reveal when?

⤷ yn.jpg shut the hell up

⤷ rizzciardo i can’t tell if this makes me think it’s lando, or is convincing me that it ISNT lando

formulayn HELP WHY IS WILL ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR BF 😭

⤷ ynsworld bro it was insane. i joined the pre race show like 15 minutes late and it was just will buxton harassing her/lh

formulanorris will buxton asking you abt a bf is WILD

⤷ rizzciardo yes, but also real i fear

thank you for reading! all feedback is appreciated 🫶🏻

general taglist | @renarots @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @lovstappen @illicitverstappen @minkyungseokie @harrysdimple05 @lokietro @spidersophie @topguncultleader @piasstrisblog @vellicora @leclercvsx @stopeatread @cixrosie @arkhammaid @vroomvroomverstappen

the jpg chronicles taglist | @dl-yum @youdontknowmeshh @lighttsoutlewis @kodzuvk @sofs16 @p4st3lst4rs @1655clean @judespoision @raizelchrysanderoctavius @raevyng @goldenalbon

#formula one #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 drabble #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #formula one fanfiction #f1 fic #f1 x female reader #f1 x female driver #f1 x y/n #formula one social media au #formula one smau #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #formula one fluff #formula one x reader #formula one fic

[aristotels]

look imma say this and then im gonna go do something productive bc this is taking up way too much of time.

do i think usamericans are inherently stupid or evil? no, i dont. i dont believe you are any less capable or dumber than the other people in the world. i do, however, think you have more responsibilities.

does it matter if a brazilian doesnt know where croatia is? not really. brazil doesnt have monopoly on world production or currency. brazil didnt instigate the fall of yugoslavia. brazil cant veto an un resolution. does it matter if a dalmatian grandma raising donkeys in vrlika doesnt know where laos is? not particularly; she doesnt vote for a president who has power to influence the global politics. croatian president cant stage a coup in venezuela. balkan countries dont dominate social or political discourse, they dont dictate economy, trends, or inflation. they dont dominate media, films, music, culture, language.

usa however does. the president of the usa has very real power to fund a genocide and single-handedly keep an apartheid existing. people from usa should know the effects their choices have.

imperialism isnt only visible in politics either. cultural hegemony is a huge part of it. oscars, online algorithms, social media, language - these all have influence on the rest of the world. the ways other countries are viewed in the usa is important. its REALLY not about "haha stupid usamericans", its about responsibility you have as a part of imperial core.

and before anyone goes like "wHy ArE yOu NoT cALLiNg OuT wEsTeRn EuRoPe" its not what this particular discourse is about. ive talked about it before. ill talk about it again because germany has more effect on my life than the usa. pls stop deflecting responsibility this way

edit: no this does not mean "please vote for genocide joe" it means the opposite holy shit this is the core reason for this entire fucking globegate or whatever. if youre voting for dems bc theyre "lesser evil" pls learn where palestine is and that to them there is NO lesser evil jesus christ biden is literally bypassing congress and vetoing un resolutions and sending billions of dollars and weapons and missiles to kill children on the other side of the planet. youre all insane if "vote blue" was your takeaway from this post

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

#Round 5 #Glenn Close #Glenn Close DnDads #Moonshine Cybin #Amber Gris #Not Another D&D Podcast #Bahumia #The Adventure Zone #TAZ Ethersea #Dungeons & Daddies #Dungeons and Daddies

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

#dory writes #harbingers AU #dark sleepy bois inc #dark sbi

[mydearesthrry]

birthday wishes - h.s.

a/n: hi … this is long. it ends abruptly and im v sorry! apologies for my absence,,, enjoy :))

🎀 warnings/cw: nothing but fluff

🐇 pairing: 1dbandmember!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: n/a

summary: every year, Y/N posts something for harry’s birthday. every single year, no matter what.

a/n: pls keep in mind harrys relationship timeline or this wont make as much sense..? ok bye

2012

liked by niallhoran, zaynmalik, and 2,378,615 others

yourinstagram: Happy birthday goof!! Thanks for always tuning my guitars for me. I can’t believe you are 18!!!!!!!!!

view 79,058 comments

harrystyles: Thaaaaaanks. I love youuuu. <3 <3 <3

user1: SHE CALLS HIM GOOF UGGGGHHHHHH

user2: i cant believe that this picture is real

user3: THE HEARTS IN HARRYS COMMENT

niallhoran: no bday post for me?? D:

2013

liked by niallhoran, dakotajohnson, dontshakethepolaroid, and 3,008,263 others

yourinstagram: happy birthday h. u are 19. thats crazy. i owe my life to u thank you for being my best friend— thank you for you. i love u so so much bub :’)

comments on this post have been limited

niallhoran: h day!!! time to celebrattteeeeee!!!!!!

annetwist: love you sweetheart!

harrystyles: I love youuuuuu!!!! Thank you lovebug. <3

zaynmalik: time to get drunk!

2014

liked by niallhoran, zendaya, sabrinacarpenter, and 108,862 others

yourinstagram: its a national holiday!! happy birthday to my best friend, confidant, songwriting partner, and personal pillow. UR FUCKING 20. THATS INSANE. i love u so much pickle :’)

comments on this post have been limited

gemmastyles: old man!!!

harrystyles: Thank you Olive :) Love you tons.

niallhoran: a special lads birthday!

zaynmalik: 🍻

jamescorden: pickle and olive!

2015

liked by arianagrande, wherearetheavocados, and 6,826,728 others

yourinstagram: love you prince boy, happy birthday ❤️

view 198,726 other comments

harrystyles: My favorite person alive. Xx

niallhoran: legal in the states!!!!

user1: his comment is so casual but so cutw i cant 😭😭😭

user2: i am so unstable shes literally posted every time on his birthday for years

user3: NEW PHH CONTENT!!!!!

ynrryupdates: our suspicions were right! she posted again this year ❤️❤️❤️

2016

liked by tomholland2016, liampayne, annetwist, and 5,276,266 others

yourusername: hbd har <3 thank you for everything

view all 99,251 comments

user1: no special note… i think we’re losing them

user2: :( not the same this year

user3: i think she’s holding back now because he’s official with kendall?

harrystyles: Thank you, it was wonderful seeing you. H

user4: this is weird…. harry’s comment isnt sitting right with me…?

gemmastyles: missed your face!!!!!!!!!! love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

2017

liked by harrystyles, selenagomez, marikoluv, and 4,726,629 others

yourinstagram: happy birthday pickle, miss you <3

view all 99,625 comments

annetwist: Missed seeing you! Come back and visit soon ❤️

harrystyles: Thank you Olive. Love you. Miss you more.

gemmastyles: missed my best friend ❤️❤️❤️

user1: are we… are we finally getting them back….

user2: slowly going back to normal………

user3: HES SO DRY 😭

user4: he said love you 😭😭😭😭😭 miss you more 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

2018

liked by harrystyles, taylorswift13, sabrinacarpenter, and 6,276,151 others

yourinstagram: tbt our frat days 🤓 miss you always my bug, happy birthday ❤️ i love love you

view all 71,620 comments

harrystyles: Be home soon, I miss you more than anything. Love you love you love you. Thank you. H x

gemmastyles: I NEED you to come over when you’re back in London!!!!!!!

annetwist: My baby! ❤️🎁🎉

user1: OH WE GOT THEM BACKKKKKK!!!!!!

user2: now that harrys a freeeeeee man we can get ynrry back like weve always dreamed of!

user3: HER bug… im unwell

2019

liked by harrystyles, billieeilish, liampayne, and 4,276,991 others

yourusername: our time now, silly boy. happy birthday to my soulmate, lover, best friend… and everything else in between. i admire everything you do and I feel like the luckiest person alive to have the privilege of knowing you, cherishing you, and caring for u. that being said, i love you i love you i love you so much it hurts. thank you for choosing me. happy birthday pickle ❤️

view all 89,715 comments

harrystyles: There’s no one in this world I love more than you. Thank you, baby. Very grateful for you, Olive. Xxx

jamescorden: FINALLY

billieeilish: thank GOD this has been the hardest secret to keep 😭😭😭😭

sabrinacarpenter: mom n dadddddd

annetwist: My babies ❤️🎂

user1: OH MY FUCKING GOD

user2: STOP I KNEW IT

user3: FINALLLYYYYYYYY

user4: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL MY DAMN LIFE

2020

liked by harrystyles, arianagrande, gemmastyles, and 4,917,899 others

yourinstagram: havent missed a year so why start now? happy birthday h, i love you so much ❥ p.s. ur fiance era looks so good on u ;)

view all 105,918 comments

harrystyles: Thank you. And I agree; I’ve never looked better. ❤️

user1: WHATTTTTT THE FUCK

user2: THEYRE ENGAGED???!!!!!!!!!!

user3: remember in 2013 when they got asked a question on the this is us panel about how they dreamed of proposing/being proposed to and Y/N said in italy… he def proposed when they filmed golden

2021

liked by user1, harrystyles, billieeilish, and 6,818,809 others

yourinstagram: first outing as newlyweds,,, only right to be celebrating pickles birthday too. bug… i trust u implicitly and love you entirely. my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy birthday harry ❤️

comments on this post have been limited

harrystyles: Soulmate. Thank you baby. H

sabrinacarpenter: cats out the bag… mom and dad are married !!!

annetwist: Official daughter ❤️❤️❤️

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry <3 #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry edward styles #harry styles social media #harry styles smau

[safetycar-restart]

KINKTOBER DAY 19: OBJECT INSERTION [LANDO NORRIS X READER]

NOTE: This is an NSFW fic with sub!Lando and dom!reader, the fic also writes Lando as a camboy. If you are under 18 or uninterested, scroll past.

This work forms part of a kinktober series where I discuss a different kinky concept with a different motorsports athlete every day. We also discuss the concepts in more detail on my blog so if you have any thoughts, feel free to stop by!

(This takes place in the camboy!au where Lando is a camboy and reader is his real life partner and dom who helps him manage his account and sometimes appear in his lives and videos)

Lando always whines and huffs when you insist that he prep himself properly before he goes live.

Lando is known for his size queen status. He's always fucking himself on the most insane dildos and will use anything and everything. His fans have come to expect it now, and his videos featuring this get millions of views. So obviously he continues to do it.

However, as his partner and his dom, you never ever let him do those streams without him being properly prepped and that he tries whatever he's going to use before he goes live.

And naturally, because Lando is bratty and needy, if you're going to make him do that then you must prep him. You have to.

You pretend to be annoyed, but you always do it, of course.

Which is how you end up with Lando laying on the bed, his knees bent up to his chest with some lube, a few smaller dildos, and the glass bottle Lando intends to fuck himself with on the bed.

You always have to make this a little fun, because he's your sub! You have to make sure he always has a good time.

Lando is in a great mood as you start to stretch him, giggling and asking you what lingerie you think he should wear later as you slowly insert one finger. He begs for more quickly, so you add two fingers and then move on to the dildo.

"Hurry up!!" he whines, trying to wriggle his hips.

You pinch his thigh, telling him to be patient. There's a reason you go about this slowly. He's about to fuck himself with a glass bottle for a good while, and you know he can hurt himself if he isnt properly prepped.

He, of course, does not seem to care about this because to him you are obviously choosing this moment to be mean and team him. Which , no, no you aren't.

"Just let me use the slightly bigger dildo quickly and then we'll get to the bottle," you tell him, slowly removing the first dildo. He pouts, but otherwise stays quiet.

He moans shamelessly when you push in the next dildo, relaxing against the bed like all his strings have been cut. It's his favourite dildo, and you know if you angle it right it will push against his prostate perfectly. You don't do that now though, because you can't make Lando cum now. You have to just stretch him so that he can livestream safely, he can't be coming before the cameras even turn on.

Of course he doesn't care about this right then, because his favourite dildo is in him and he knows you can make it hit his prostate and you aren't!! Very unhappy Lando.

He tries to move his hips to get the dildo where he wants it but you press your arm over his hips quickly to hold him down.

"You know you can't come now," you tell him, shaking your head when he pouts.

Eventually you remove that dildo and then it's time to test out the glass bottle. You put a healthy amount of lube on it, and then gently press it against lando's rim. He lets out a few stuttering breaths and you stroke his thigh to hopefully calm him down.

He relaxes and the bottle slowly enters him. The sigh he lets out is almost sinful.

"Feel so full," he mumbles, turning his head to hide his face in the pillow.

You put a little lube on his cock and stroke it slowly, just to give him another sensation to focus on while he gets used to the bottle. Eventually he starts to whine and wriggle, trying to get the bottle to move and you know it's time.

You don't do much, just move it slowly in and out a few times to make sure he can do it.

"Okay," you tell him, "I think you're good to go."

As you expected, Lando whines, "Can't you just fuck me?" he asks.

You laugh, reminding him that he has a scheduled live stream and that you just prepped him for it.

After two more grumbles, he gets up, taking the glass bottle with him and mumbling something about demanding cuddles and a hand job later as he walks to his filming room.

Little shit.

#sub!lando #ln #nsfw. #camboy!au #camboy!lando #kinktober tag #gn!reader

[angstics]

3.3k words summarizing queliot if you've never seen the magicians. or if youve seen it and you want to indulge in my insane criticisms. lord touch his mind

okay so the magicians was a tv show about a bunch of post grads learning magic in magic university then discovering that the fantasy world from a kids book series was actually real and the Beast of that world was out to get them. WHO GIVES A FUCK. the crazy people were focused on the relationship btwn main character quentin coldwater (depressed, heart on his sleeve, surprise sex maniac who is new to magic and loves those books) and gay best friend eliot waugh (substance addicted (big surprise!!), gay trauma, named after evelyn waugh oh you know…) they form a friendship and it’s weirdly touchy and close. eliot keeps trying to seduce quentin but it’s never serious. i dont even think quentin notices. anyone remember the “lets not talk” scene? he was about to fuck that sad man. anyway this tension was actually fulfilled by the end of the 1st season with a drunk threesome including the two and their best friend margo. they at least kiss and cuddle and MAYBE sucked dick if the ghost of his girlfriend who haunts him later is to be believed (which i do #cockinhismouthsunday).

at this time articles that were like “THIS SIFI SERIES IS PROUDLY BISEXUAL” were coming out which. lol. lmfao! quentin never had any sort of queer identity. not even a hint of it. the homophobia of the show started with the regurgitation of the “sad drunk lonely sex-crazed” gay man trope with eliot, then the “everyone is fluid but no one actually has same sex attraction” trope, THEN by sidelining and killing off almost every gay or trans character, THEN THE QUENTIN THING. and the quentin thing turned people insane. let’s see why.

so after the threesome, eliot and quentin continue having a good friendship. there is some tension that isnt present with margo which sure is a choice… but it is resolved by a heartfelt crowning ceremony nd hug. oh theyre kings of the magic land now btw. eliot and q are pretty much separate from this point on xcept for certain episodes/moments. it is strange they dont have any storylines together. but love finds a way. at some point a version of eliot sacrifies himself for quentin. if u look at the scene it is on instinct it is crazy. then they reunite at the end of s2 but it’s all business really. the show was really involved w its nonsense plot.

anyway season 3. hahaha. so like i said theyre separate most of the show past s1. this is true in this season xcept for episodes 305 and 313 (with some notable moments in between). the plot of this season is that they have to go on quests to collect keys. the creature that gives eliot this plot calls quentin his “brother of the heart”. ok! when they see each other for the first time in a while in 304, they hug in a very sweet way :) look at this photo from bts during that scene :) i have it framed

after a series of other quests, 305 turns out to be the Eliot and Quentin quest! finally a story with the two! the quest is for the “time key”, which is fabled to be given to whoever solves the mosaic puzzle in fillory (magic world). the puzzle? they have to arrange 100s of tiles in a way that depicts “the beauty of all life”. quentin is very excited about it. eliot is happy to hear him infodump. they eventually get pushed into fillory to solve the mosaic. turns out they were also sent DECADES in the past. there might have been a way out but they were dead-set on solving the mosaic and getting their key. so they get to work. they live in a cottage attached to the mosaic and they spend hours, days, months on it. just the two of them and the mosaic. this episode is called “a life in a day” which is so perfect you wonder why the writing couldnt be that good within the show.

at the 1 year anniversary, quentin kisses eliot. and eliot kisses him back. and you wonder woah what does this mean?! well keep wondering girl because this tv show does not care to explore any of that. it chugs on and eliot and q fight about “living their lives there” and quentin gets a Wife and has a child with her and then she DIES (leaving her as a narrative incubator rather than an actual character, which is very in line with the sexism of the show). and they grow up and decades pass and the child grows old enough to leave and it seems eliot co-parented him but (again) the tv show doesnt care to show you that. and this whole time theyre working on the mosaic. years and years. eventually they grow old. it’s just the two of them. until eliot dies. quentin goes to bury him in the mosaic plot and he finds a special little tile. he places it in the mosaic. he gets the key. the puzzle is solved. “the beauty of all life”. but quentin is alone. his life companion is gone. and that’s the last we see of him.

we go back in time til before they enter fillory. their friend stops them and she has the key through time shenanigans and they never live that timeline. UNTIL!!!!! they do. they remember it all. what does decades (50 yrs btw) of living happily together mean for them?!? FUCK ALL APPARENTLY!!!! because the next episode (306 if yr keep track) they mention it ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN. and there is so much beneath the surface with the looks and the line that mentions it (“go be life partners with someone else” eliot says jokingly in a manner that shouldve been the catalyst to quentin’s magic-induced suicide spiral later that episode).

ok quentin does mention it once more to his dying dad. but nothing about his Male Life Partner Of Fifty Years. Nothing. they dont even talk about it with their best friends, leading one to believe they just kept it a secret . which. okay.

okay. so theyre apart til the last episode of the season. and quentin decides to sacrifice himself by locking himself in a cage with a monster for all of eternity. he says the quest prepared him for it which is yikesss. eliot refuses. but quentin insists. they travel to the prison (he gets back together with his gf during this trip btw they had been apart that season after some shit. one of their worst writing decisions i hate this stupid ass cockroach relationship). quentin almost exchanges himself. then eliot shoots the monster. dooming them all.

so the monster doesnt die. instead he possesses eliot. and that becomes the story for season 4. at first quentin and co think eliot is dead. and it’s devastating lol. an interesting thing is that the monster was so. touchy with quentin. unbearably so. it’s such a perverse reflection of eliot’s touch. which is sorta pointed out by quentin in this quote (paraphrase) “i know it’s not eliot. but he has his face and his eyes…”

anyhow 405. hahahahahaha. so this episode it’s revealed eliot is alive but trapped in his own head. and to get out for a moment and tell his friends he’s alive, he needs to confront his most terrible most shameful memory. the whole episode is him trying to figure out what it is. meanwhile, quentin and co are setting up a plan to kill the monster. and quentin breaks up with his gf (lol). in a deleted scene that WAS shown in promo they argue about the monster. and quentin says “im team eliot”. lol

anyhow, eliot’s hit a dead end. he cant figure the worst thing that’s happened in his life. then his memory of quentin (theyve been hangin out) says he’ll “sacrifice” himself if he had to. eliot smiles and says “i know youre just a memory… but youre a very generous one.” and quentin says— (im reciting this from memory btw all of this has been from 4 years of NON STOP thinking about it) quentin says “well you sacrifice for the people you love” and he gives eliot a VERY pointed look. and then it dawns on eliot. and the guilt is instantly palpable.

hahahahha. hahaha. hahahahahaha. okay so eliot goes to the memory he knows is the worst thing he’s ever done. his most traumatic memory, after a lifetime of violent homophobia and bad choices. the person possessed before him described this memory as being “the day he left home”.

the memory? the day they remembered their past lives. did it happen? fifty years. it happened.

theyre sat under a wedding arch (that was the b plot of the episode lol). it’s beautiful. eliot watches the memory play out, standing in front of the seated figures. the guilt. the guilt.

outside, the tension is building. the plan to kill the monster is in motion. quentin has to coax him to a certain spot. he has to look at him as he kills his best friend.

eliot doesnt know this but he gets anxious watching it play out. there is a certainty that this is it. the first time viewer has no idea whats going on. we never saw the direct aftermath of them remembering. we always assumed there wasnt anything.

well a year after 305 aired, a yr after thinking THAT WAS IT, they recontextualize Everything.

it is worth saying here that in the promo interviews leading up to season 4, quentin’s and eliot’s actors were sussing it UP. quentin’s at some point talks on q’s queerness, saying it was the one aspect of his life he didnt feel anxious about.

well

what happens is that quentin asks eliot for a relationship. remember how it was quentin who first kissed eliot? it happens again. heart on his fucking sleeve. i can recite this scene pretty well so im going to fucking do it:

did it happen? fifty years. it happened. it was sort of beautiful. it really was. i know this is gonna sound dumb but … us. i mean we work. we know it cause we lived it. who gets that proof of concept? (eliot smiles uneasily) we just got injected with fifty years of memories so i get that youre not thinking clearly. no im just saying… what if we gave it a shot, would that be so crazy? (eliot looks down, worried and thoughtful. quentin smiles RADIANTLY it is BLINDING) why the fuck not?

editors opinion: quentin is such a beautiful person. to be so truthful about something so scary is unthinkable. especially in context of him being so hopelessly and quietly in love his childhood best friend, and his whirlwind romance with previously mentioned gf, and all the tragedy he endured with these two. but this is someone who loves with his whole heart. what was he supposed to do? contain it?

then eliot hardens.

i know you and you arent… whats the matter? dont be naive it matters. (pause) q i love you but… that isnt me and that definitely isnt you. not when we have a choice. (quentin looks away. he wipes his eye) oh. okay. sorry.

and silence. the real eliot, the eliot who isnt the memory, looks on. tired and angry, he speaks to himself:

what the hell is wrong with you? what the hell are you doing? someone Good and True… Loves you. yeah it was a little crazy but you knew. you knew this truly mattered. and you just SNUFFED IT OUT.

then he looks to the memory of quentin. soft as the clouds:

q. im sorry. i was afraid. and when im afraid i run away.

then he kisses him. and he hits you with the thesis of the episode:

if i ever get out of here q… know that when im braver it cause i learned it from you.

well

thats his most traumatic memory. he is granted passage to consciousness. what is the first thing he sees? quentin. the real quentin.

q? (smiles) q (laughs) it’s me. it’s eliot. ok come on no games. it’s eliot. i said no games. (eliot looks around, worried as all hell) fifty years (he walks towards q) who gets proof of concept like that? what? peaches and plums motherfucker (this is the symbol to their mosaic life) im alive in here. (eyes as wide as saucers, heart in his throat) eliot…

and he ruins their plans of killing the monster. “eliot’s alive.”

then the episodes keep rolling. “eliot eliot eliot. why do you care so much about him?” “because i do.” and “wow i love that plan. except the part where it doesnt save eliot.” quentin gets back with his gf for reasons only the devil knows. but fine ok whatever quentin and eliot will HAVE to talk post-saving. even if the writers ignore it once more they have some kind of relationship. and they do save eliot in the finale! you know who they dont save? lmfao

quentin dies. in a manner that many including myself found weird and unsatisfactory and suicidal. and he never gets to know how eliot feels. never. he’s just gone. their story means nothing 💯

editors note: this ending broke me. i was using the show as a depression crutch, so a fate so hopeless ruined me. cant blame the show for my mistake but being so technically bad certainly didnt help.

well when the show came back for its next (and final lol) season, they did attempt closure for eliot and quentin. for some reason this was all contained in 3 episodes, most of it in the third (503) but what the fuck ever. it has its moments.

the episode is basically about eliot and alice (q’s gf i dont think ive mentioned her name. sorry alice) going on a mini quest up a treacherous mountain for grievers to return a piece of quentin’s soul back to the underworld. their fights are soooo funny. toxic lover vs almost-lover.

alice at some point says “well he was MY boyfriend this is MY pilgrimage and you just TAGGED ALONG” and (blood obviously boiling) eliot goes “right, because he meant nothing to me”. and this highlights something so sneakily homophobic about this whole affair. quentin and eliot’s relationship never mattered to the narrative as much as all the other straight relationships, especially quentin and alice’s. like i said, they would separate for entire seasons. you will be happy to know that not 1 episode goes by without quentin and alice conflicting and making up conflicting and etc. i dont understand how quentin and eliot’s relationship wasnt important enough. they were best friends, they kissed multiple times and had sex AT LEAST once if the mosaic subtext isnt considered. and the mosaic… it isnt just that they lived together for 50 yrs and raised a child and were happy, something they couldnt quite grasp in their old lives… they achieved the beauty of all life. that is a monumental achievement that shouldve changed not only their lives, but their stories.

the thing about the confession is that it wasnt planted in s3. talking about 405, the writers said they came up with it while working on that episode. it was essentially a retcon. though its inclusion explains why they didnt talk about it literally, it doesnt excuse the narrative outright ignoring it. it DEFINITELY doesnt account for why it ignored the rest of the SAME SEASON it was ESTABLISHED IN. if this was quentin and alice, they would be talking about it nonstop. and guess the fuck what when they get back together it is *non stop*.

SO. 503. they are on their pilgrimage. tensions build. eliot hallucinates quentin’s voice (it’s a soundbite from the mosaic when eliot dies which is depressing). they meet another traveller who is grieving his long dead boyfriend.

the traveller asks who theyre grieving and alice goes My Boyfriend and eliot looks away and says he knew him as a friend and it’s so sad it makes me want to die. why did they invent new exciting ways for gay people to be ashamed of who they love. i hate this show.

anyway the traveller talks about his boyfriend and how he was a magician who died young and how his dreams were haunted by him. and eliot is listening so intensely you want to jump hale appleman for being so good at this acting thing. alice goes to sleep and leaves the two alone. then they really start talkin:

(the traveller asks) have you ever had love? (eliot smiles small, hesitant) love…? yeah love. (pause) the friend we’re putting to rest. (traveller is delightfully shock) wasnt just a friend.

truly truly truly cant describe to you how much it physically pains me that it took 2 seasons and for one of them to die and a conversation with a stranger to get to this point. why wasnt this always part of the narrative. why does this only matter now after 2 yrs of fans badgering you about why this isnt part of the fucking show despite BEING PART OF THE FUCKING SHOW! it is dead obvious this was never the intent so even with something that should feel right feels wrong because the show never wanted it. it never wanted quentin to be in love with eliot. but it doesnt make sense if he isnt. i hate this show.

the convo continues 🙄:

does she know? oh god no. a torrid secret affair. (eliot looks away) no, nothing like that.

and i wish eliot was given a proper story. i wish i knew what was going on in his head through all of this. i wish i wish.

so it is revealed that quentin and eliot “had love” and that eliot is keeping it a secret (a revelation considering they werent intimate on screen past the 1 yr anniversary, they were only ever referred to as best friends by cast and crew, AND even what they were was obscured in the confession scene. and their feelings didnt matter past 405 fuck this world). this is huge. it should be huge. eliot’s first arc is about how he cant fall in love until he does and gets his heart broken. quentin’s stories are so wrapped up in alice that having another love interest should complicate that entirely. it doesnt.

the climax of the episode is when eliot expresses difficulty of letting go of quentin and alice says “he was your friend” and eliot replies (quick as if not meaning to) “he wasnt just my friend.” and wowww. how cathartic. the first time in the history of the show they talk about it. 5 seasons btw.

and eliot tells her about the mosaic and how “we loved each other for a really really long time.” and how he told him to fuck off and how he died for him and how he was never able to talk to him again. he just died.

and that part is supposed to be cathartic too. it feels cathartic for eliot the character at least. but to me the Viewer. i was sick of how they were trying to appeal to MY thoughts of what he should be feeling. as if trying to placate me. cuz if it was soo important it wouldnt just been solved after this episode. he DGAF about quentin after this. i dont get it. why cant they write a proper story.

well one line that stuck with me and i truly felt was this:

alice: he was pretty in love with you eliot: i wouldnt say that alice: .. i would

and then eliot looks at her the most devastated a man can look.

thats it. that’s quentin and eliot. a heartfelt and final fuck this show. the fic goes crazy esp the 2019 shit.

#long post #the magicians