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larrythefloridaman · 2 years

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Been rewatching bits and pieces of cpuk season one for fun and taking notes of funny stuff we dont talk about much in the discord and thinking abt it in the context of later seasons/information and its very fun. This is stuff from 1-5 (will likely update as i get further in this partial rewatch, under readmore for spoilers of later parts of the series and keeping the post short)

Hamhel and dadondorf apparently taught jimbo 'butt/butts' is a swear word but 'fuck' isnt. Jimbo is really interested in music as we know but also distinctly very bad at it. Jimbo's biological parents are dead, but left him a LOT of money and as a result spending too much money on shit he doesn't need became his favorite coping mechanism and, following the divorce, he used up all of his inheritance money and started dipping into the family funds, which is when Dadon and him start having Problems. Jimbo is extremely hamhel's kid neither of them should be trusted with any kind of power. Jimbo, i know you've been through a lot and the dad that was demonstrably better at connecting with you is being Fucked Up And Evil Right Now but honey, the shopping addiction is not gonna make your life any stabler. listen to zzzzzzoey. go to therapy. 'Jimbo tried to summon satan to kill his dad' is a thing thats said. Which. gestures in crimson's general direction. funny. Jimbo is peak 'remember when you were 15 and convinced you were evil and irredeemable but really you were just 15' except at this point hes like, 13 max im pretty sure and also hes Really stupid (affectionate.) (CPUK1)

Dadondorf is personal friends with Cranky Kong. Hamhel claims he threw a match in winners finals against Dad to give him a fighting chance and I think he's full of shit as ever <3 Dadondorf to Jimbo: "I'm sorry, It's just- I know you miss your other dad, but we'll get through this together." bro dont talk to me about to wring hamhel's dumbass neck, you dumb son of a bitch meat man abandoning your family for demonic power to recapture your glory days im gonna KILL Y- hes better now its fine im fine theyre fine. man imagining what the winners finals and championship match between dadon and hamhel at the end of cpuk1 would be like with season 2-3 style voiceacted storytelling has me fucked up. itd kill me i think .

Zzzzzoey's apparently like. 18 years old in cpuk1????? If thats still canonical shes in her fuckin. early 20s now. what the Fuck. more like a cool big sister to Jimbo convincing him to go to therapy and helping him reconcile with his dad like that than a peer. (CPUK1)

Patchman apparently worships some kind of obscure scarecrow harvest god called Scarny, and either his ratspeak was kind of rusty or he genuinely briefly forgot what science was because when he called Zapmouse the work of the devil and Zapmouse corrected him by saying he was a product of science he said he didnt believe in scientology. Zapmouse is explicitly an atheist. Zapmouse also likes to use elaborate threats to get his point across. Zapmouse ended a friendship and threatened to rip out a person's teeth for patronizing him by calling him their pet to explain why they were talking to a rat. (CPUK2)

Grundy, the Grunk's brother, has a confirmed skin, he's represented by the green bowser when they talk about him during the Grunk's intro! He and the Grunk lived in Tennessee, and he's a famous and respected restauranteur specialized in Southern Comfort Food whose critical opinion is so highly respected a bad yelp review from him can tank businesses. He, and I quote, 'sucks.' they talk about grundy so much in the grunk's debut episode it's kinda funny that he's never shown up. They even raise the idea of introducing him as a fighter at some point. although considering his brother died being part of kerfuffle and then he kept doing it and let his son participate too, i dont blame him for not wanting to get involved. People apparently start beef with the Grunk sometimes just for being related to Grundy, considering sauceboss. maybe they just don't. talk anymore. (CPUK4)

Home MD really likes fish and cares about the ocean as an environment, Alfred even throwing out the idea that he wears black in grim remembrance of the Mozilla Oil Spill. i wonder if this interest was present before the time loop or if it developed during. What im asking is what came first hackshifter aquarium dates or home md getting just like really into maintaining his doctors office fish tank as a coping mechanism. Did Larry frequently get into physical altercations with litterers at the beach growing up or is that new. They say Home MD saw Finding Dory and cried. they also, unrelated, say Home is so old he canonically uses internet explorer. Fucking mean to him!!! he's like 25ish at this point in the loop! I know he has the exhaustion in his eyes of a man twice that age but leave him alone!!!!!!! (CPUK4) (Sidenote its so fucking funny to me that even during the home timeloop larry was picking fights with hamhel. He wants to kick that old mans ass so bad but it'll never happen. I think larry greets hamhel every time they meet by trying to put him in a headlock and casually failing. Their weird frenemy relationship is so funny to me)

Firefox is a Mega-Corporation that has its fingers in lots of things, the browser's just the main thing they do. So in the kerfuffleverse mozilla as a company is kinda like google as a company is in the real world. Mozillas dead as hell and Nightly hates his ass and has understandably complicated feelings about family but it's unclear in my memory if he's still like, involved with the company or the rest of his family in any way. Is nightly a disowned out of touch ex-richboy or what (CPUK4)

it is funny that the lowkey bloodlust has been whats stuck about Corn most into the present from her debut. Alfred: "corn really just put a knife to this man's (home md) neck and said 'i'm here to take your blood.'" She craves violence and always has and i respect it (CPUK4)

ICEE was a huge superfan of ICEE who got sponsored as a result of him promoting the brand through his very public love of it abd as such has some amount of unofficial pull with the company. Spriteman is not sponsored. The coca cola company does not want to be associated with Spriteman in any way, shape, or form. his sheer violent feverish devotion to that citrus soft drink is completely fucking unmarketable to them. If cpu kerfuffle wasn't distinctly unaffected by the law he'd probably be getting sued for so aggressively stanning their product in such an intensely unflattering way on a public platform. Also christ in a clown car he was stuck perfect for SO LONG he went perfect between cpuk3 and cpuk4, and didn't recover until cpuk20. This man was in a feral state and not fully in control of himself for a bit under 2 years i think? he is So rusty at being a human. In the first episode he was 'Perfect,' he seemed fairly lucid, which is. Upsetting. because it implies that he slowly lost that lucidity until he was the 's-sprite' stammering beast he was by the time g2 rolled in.

Yung Papaya's snake exorcist dad was described as being half demon before becoming a snake, and his name is actually Rod. These are some of the only things the snake priest dad remembers from his life before being transformed into a snake aside from his work as an exorcist. I have no additional commentary on this i just think its funny (CPUK5)

The Light Void is, apparently, a void of pure light and an entity that instead of consuming or encompassing things as one might imagine the maw of the void to do, allows things to take of it whatevers needed that it can give. a sort of metaphysical wellspring hammerspace of potential, it sounds like. One of the many odd, complex and multifaceted world-crafting forms of Spectrum's divinity, perhaps? its emissary, corrupted into the cbt demon, is described as having little sentience/autonomy to begin with, so it's tricky to exorcise because it lacks much of a will of its own to free, and doesn't have the capacity to desire to be freed, as it exists to serve whatever purpose its needed for. It can only speak occasionally, and it's very direct and lacks personality. (CPUK5)

In CPUK5's intros, ryan says dan is a geeksquad employee that was Sent Into The Game. Like A Normal Guy From Real Life Literally Sent Into The Video Game. Its compared repeatedly to scooby doo cyberchase. nccts stuff clarifies this is arguably pretty normal for the fighters origins but Dan was literally intentionally isekai'd here from Normal Actual Real Life to help try to deal with hamburger helper. Every Dan Is Explicitly From Another World. Also he seemed like he was having so much genuine fun fighting Al compared to his whole Comedically Tired Cosmically Tormented Everyman thing hes got going on now and also for like the whole rest of his time in even this tournament. Also apparently he fixed icee's ipod once and returned it and all the music was gone except 15 copies of ice ice baby with one under pressure. blows kiss love u dan <3

Alfred: "Alabaster Uppercut has been fighting for 27 years, and dedicated the other two to teaching children how to do the uppercut just like him" oh my god was Al already like 29 when cpuk5 happened. Is Al in his early thirties now. Also he says Al was already very respected and well-known in his home village and he was once ideologically pacifist and only signed up for cpuk because a group of other competitors viciously defamed him and his village and called him a pussy on social media and one of the village kids started getting bullied over it and that's what crossed a line with him, which is interesting. Ya boy loves the fight for the sake of the fun of the fight now but he supposedly used to Very Much Not Like Fighting Pointlessly At All? Originally more of a 'practices a martial art as a meditation and preservation of heritage' kind of guy before discovering The Joys Of Consensual Sportsman's Violence

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lostacelonnie · 8 months

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Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

#also ive been playing a lot of rain world lately!!! terribly hard but in a fun way #asks #pen pals

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alexin-wonderlust · 1 year

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Day Four - Osaka - Cup Noodles, Asahi Brewery and Aquarium

November 10th 2022

Woke up, ready for NOODLES. But first, we had to adventure to get there. Because it is quite far away, and not "IN OSAKA" itself. Just North, and on civilian trains. But thats fine, because its Japan.

We had to walk a fair way, and it was confusing because there wasnt any English signage. But it was a SUPER lovely day to be out walking anyway. The cutest thing!! They paint their sewer caps here with the Cup Noodle Chicken Mascot. KAWAII!

When we got to the museum, there was a school trip there too but it wasnt that busy. We walked in and to the "Wall of Noodles", but that's actually the END of the museum. (Little did we know, there was a sign in japanese saying -> start that way) Whoops!

The story goes; man lives on ranch, finds a way to dehydrate and rehydrate noodles by twice cooking. He makes the chicken stock because its cheap and easy to make after hes already used the meat. Then he goes on to work out how packaging works, and how the factory will pack the cups with the noodles and why a cup, and not a bowl... it was really quite interesting actually -- and interactive! I used my phone to translate it all -- im quite grateful because it was a lovely exhibit.

Next, we got to MAKE our own cup noodle flavour cup! 500Y gets you a cup to decorate with markers, then you get to choose the stock base and up to 4 toppings. Chilli Tomato was a big hit with us Aussies since we dont GET IT HERE!

After we were noodled out -- no food yet, we realised we didnt have long to get to the Asahi Brewery for their last tour (and that I had forgotten to call and book) so we rushed. Hungry and cranky -- we made it just in time.

Another food tour, and we got to see the inner workings of a massive (and I mean MASSIVE) brewery. The kettles outside were HUGE! They make 6.1 million cans a day there apparently... Crazy stuff. When we had finished with the tour, they give you TWO DRINKS FOR FREE! The tour was free, they give you free beer. WTF!? Oh and these yummy rice crackers with salt and black pepper. SO GOOD.

What's next. Food? No. Aquarium, on the other side of Osaka before it closes. The Tempozan Harbor Aquarium in Osaka is HUGE! They have freaking WHALE SHARKS! It was so awesome. You walk in like, a rainforest area, and you just feel like youre diving down, under the ocean and in different layers of the sea. There's seals, and penguins, and piranha (I've never had to type piranha before) and it was just so cool. We didnt want to leave actually -- even though... hungry.

In the mall, across the way... a KFC. <3 and it's December, which means KFC Japan had all their exciting menu out. Christmas Lunch at KFC. Hehe! What a dream. Im pretty sure I got a lemon and herb mayo Twister or something and Ben got a teriyaki burger. It was pretty good -- better than Australia for sure.

Only one thing left to do now and that'd get back to the hotel because at this stage I think we were at like 18000 steps. On the way back we played some carnival games at Dotonburi, took some photos and headed to Don Quijote for the last moment in Osaka.

Tomorrow we are in Kyoto!

IG Post:

"Day Four; Cup Noodle Museum, Asahi Beer Museum and Osaka Aquarium 🍜🍺🐠

I have too many good photos from this day. It was hard to chooooose! The Cup Noodle museum was so much fun. The Asahi Brewery was hard because it was only Japanese but we got free beers… so that was good. Then we went all the way back to where we were yesterday to go to the Aquarium.

It was worth it. I saw a puffin, a whale shark, a sunfish, a capybara, otters… so many cute things."

"Considering we went to a food factory and a beer factory… We really didn’t eat much today. Oops!"

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bbybaku · 3 years

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cranky no nut november boyfriend shigaraki

yes i know its july.

1.8 k words

slow burn but there is smut

warnings: angry shig, humiliation, degrading, oral (fem recieving), use of vibrator, shoes on bed, angst, fluff, mentions of masturbtion

your boyfriend, tomura shigaraki, had made a bet with his friends, about who could last the longest during no nut november.

you thought a month wouldn’t be that bad, right? you guys could handle it.

the first few days were nothing. you two were busy and didnt think that much of it.

but the first weekend shiggy had invited you over to watch a movie. which was usually code for “let’s fuck”

you went over to his apartment, about 20 minutes into the movie you slipped your hand under the blanket, feeling around for his cock.

“hey” he said softly but irritated as he picked up your hand and moved it.

“what? we always-“ you asked

“i’m taking this month seriously, i can eat you out or something but we cant, you cant” he said

you were not expecting him to take it this seriously.

you knew your boyfriend he never took anything seriously? why did he have to take this stupid month seriously.

“well, do you want?” he asked as he ran his fingers over your clothed clit.

“no let’s just hang out tonight” you said.

“okay” he said then kissed you on the head and pulled you into his lap.

you could feel his erection. but you knew you had to ignore it.

week 2 was easy because shigaraki was out of town for a work trip.

you didn’t know how he was doing it. no sex was one thing, but not even masturbating?

you had been touching yourself every day to the thought of him, the pictures you had of him and sometimes

the movies you had made together.

the night he got back he came straight to your apartment.

he looked pale.

you went in for a hug, but he pushed you away.

“no” he snapped “ i just wanted to see you”

you gulped “oh okay”

you cooked dinner and he told you about the trip.

the space between your thighs ached the entire evening.

you asked him to stay the night but he said he no.

and he left.

it was day 15. you needed him. your hand could only do so much. you couldnt do what he could do. he knew your body better than you did.

you texted him to hang out.

the two of you got coffee then made out in the car.

his mouth tasted so good. your body presses against the console, arms around his neck. the kiss starting equal but he very quickly shoved his tongue in your mouth. he took your jaw in his hand and held your face while his tongue circled yours. you sucked on his bottom lip. his hand found your tit. your hand found his crotch.

shigaraki instantly pulled away, he was pissed “how many fucking times do i have to tell you no?”

you sighed “im sorry i just-”

he pushed his hair out of his face and took your jaw in his hand again. “look at me. i want to be inside of you so bad. i think about you all the time. i love you so much but we just cant right now.”

his tone made you want him even more. it was embarrassing how hot you got when he was irritated. and he knew it.

“i hate this stupid challenge” you said through his grip on your jaw.

“do you want to be like that?” he talked down to you with a smirk.

“we can always go back to my apartment, and work on your attitude” he said letting go of your face and grabbing the gear shift.

you had soaked through your panties a while ago. you were excited but knew you wouldnt be filled up the way you wanted to be.

the drive to shiggys apartment was agonizing. the sexual tension was higher now than it was on your first date. it felt like you were getting stopped at every red light, the car in front of you was always going slow. and both of you were sweating.

he had one hand rubbing your thigh and the other on the steering wheel, except at stops when he would run it through his shaggy hair. when he finally got to his apartment complex the two of you practically sprinted inside.

“elevator?” you asked pressing the up button repeatedly.

he took his hands out of his pockets and said “stairs”

the two of you raced up to the fourth floor, you beat him but just barely. once both of you were in the hallway he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

once in his apartment he didnt even turn the lights on, he took you to his bed and threw you on it.

he stood over you and sighed. “its your lucky day” he then pushed you up to the headboard and pulled off your panties. so eager, you were both still wearing shoes and the window was open.

you shivered at the cold air on your exposed heat.

shigaraki just stared for a minute. he loved vulnerability.

he loved having you at his mercy.

he pushed your skirt up and grabbed onto your thighs.

“i knew you would be soaked.” he shook his head “such a whore” he said.

and just like that he dove right in.

he licked up your folds and you bucked your hips to meet him.

his grip on your thighs tightened and he pushed you into the bed.

“dont move” he met your eyes when he said it.

he started sucking hickies on your inner thighs, his fingers teasing at your clit.

you held his head in your hands, not directing him, but rubbing his scalp.

he occasionally hummed into your thighs at the feeling.

he pulled off of your inner thigh and brought his mouth and nose to your entrance. you whimpered, expecting him to relieve your ache.

he blew cold air on your exposed heat.

you cried out.

and shigaraki crawled up to meet you at eye level.

he straddled you and leaned down “beg.” he whispered

“please” you whispered

“i dont get anything for this. why should i be nice if i dont get the reward of your tight little pussy? or getting to fuck your pretty face. make it worth my while. give me this one little thing. i said to beg like the whore you are.”

you gulped. “please tomura. i touch myself to the thought of you every day and nothing satisfies me like you do. i just want you. i want you to fill me up and please let me come. please sir.”

“hmm okay, i guess but its embarrassing that you touch yourself so much, you really are a whore.” he said as he repositioned his mouth at your entrance.

he once again pinned your hips to the bed and brough his mouth to your entrance.

his long slender fingers ran through your folds a few times before stopping at your clit and rubbing circles.

you moaned in pleasure, finally. shigaraki was relieving your ache.

he sucked on your entrance and drank your juice like it was water from the tap. you could feel his tongue at your entrance, he tease then run his tongue through your folds.

your entire body was shaking and the knot in your stomach was about to release.

“please i - can i please” you whined.

shikaraki hummed yes into you, his grip on your thighs tightening

the hum was what sent your over the edge, your walls tightening and releasing around shigarakis mouth.

he pulled off for a moment and looked at you “that was fast. youre so easy, y/n, you know that?”

and at that he went right back to what he was doing, only this time it was his finger. at your entrace and his tongue on your clit.

his tongue going all around and eventually stopping and making out with your bud.

you were crying at the pleasure.

his long fingers going in and out, and in and out. at no particular speed or regularity and occasionally stoping to curl inside you.

your hands went to shiggys hair, but you couldnt control yourself the way you had earlier. your hands were shaking as the held onto his head.

you came again, it was so fast you didn’t even have the time to ask.

you could feel him smiling on you.

shigaraki pinched your thigh, acknowledging your high, but showed no sign of stopping.

he maneuvered a little bit, grabbing something under the bed while still fingering you.

if you thought you were a mess before, you were wrong. because you were even more of a mess when shigaraki started rubbing around your clit with a vibrator.

your back arched and you grabbed onto the sheets, so as not to pull on shiggys hair, “pleASE. m-gonna c--um” you barely got out.

your lower body convulsing.

tears started streaming down your face, it hurt so good. “dont cum yet, baby. i want you to wait this time. like i have to wait.”

“no-oh-oh-o” you sobbed

shigaraki mustve been getting irritated because his grip on you tightened, and he pinched your inner thigh.

“please” you whimpered, running your fingers through his hair as gently as you could.

“no” he said sweetly.

your vision was starting to blur and you were still crying, “isnt this what you wanted darling?” shigaraki asked.

you only sobbed in response, you were loosing the ability to form coherent sentences.

the knot in your stomach released without warning, and you came on shigaraki’s vibrator.

with that he sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom to help you clean up.

despite your scattered brain, you knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he was in agony.

“does it hurt?” you asked him between deep breaths.

refering to how bad he wanted you, and how hard he was in his pants.

he waled back in with a towel and said “yes” looking down at the ground.

“well what if we” you started.

“no, im tired of having to explain this to you.”

“please, i just want you so bad” you begged as he climbed on top pf you.

“i said no! just fucking shut up” he snapped

“why?" you whinned

he found your wrists and pinned your hands beside your head on the bed.

“everyone gets a different penalty. do you know what mine is if i fail? huh? do you want to know”

"um i-”

you went to speak but no words came out.

shigaraki leaned down “my penalty is to send the group chat a video of us having sex”

“oh” you said feeling yourself blush

he gulped and looked away “which i really dont want to do because you are mine.”

he released your wrists and fell on top of you, “youre all mine”

“please just wait 2 more weeks” he whispered into your neck.

masterlist

#mha shigaraki #yandere mha #shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki #shigaraki smut #tomura smut #tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura #bnha shigaraki #mha smut #bnha smut #lov smut #shigaraki brainrot #shigaraki x y/n #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki angst

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bakuraryxu · 3 years

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talking about meds and stuff unsolicited opinions (especially from [redacted] people!!!!) are NOT welcome unless its to tell me how cool i am for doing stuff about my health

like.... its not a magic weight loss drug. its just like.... accelerating everything i already do. watching my diet is still boring but its easier now. i dont feel like im missing out quite so much. its like the obsessive part of my brain doesnt latch onto chocolate and junk food and sweets like it did before where it felt like my throat was cut if i didnt have something yummy right then and there. ive had a block of choccies in the cupboard for a week bc im only eating a few squares every other day because it tastes good. not because i feel like i need it.

exercising is easier too. it used to drain me and leave me more fatigued than usual. i see an exercise physiologist who promised me regular exercise would raise my base level of energy and he was a FUCKING liar. not on purpose or anything, my stupid idiot brain and body just refused to feel anything other than fatigue and trepidation at the thought of working out.

its like the perfect balance between appetite reduction and giving energy. im waking up around 6am and going for walks. its so easy to avoid snacks, a tiny amount of chocolate satisfies me, i havent had any intense cravings ....yet.... and god willing, i wont. its been 6 days and the first couple days i didnt feel anything, just dizzy and lightheaded and cranky. i get to watch the sunrise bc i get up so early. i walk my dog around a busy neighbourhood lake and i socialise with strangers who are also out walking their dogs and its great.

Before my biggest issue was my never-ending appetite. it didnt matter how much i ate, or how well (i see a nutritionist he assured me my nutrition is pretty good), i was constantly hungry. now im not. its not total appetite suppression for me i describe it more like a dampening effect. i get kinda hungry, i go eat a salad or whatever the fuck, and im satisfied for a couple hours. like on god. this is so ALIEN for me. and its great! i still drink coffee but because i like the taste, not because i feel like ill die without the caffeine boost.

this legal speed stuff is insane i totally get why people do meth now like ive thoguht abt it in the past bc the idea of not sleeping for days is so crazy but anyway.

its phentermine not amphetamines but anyway im loving it lmaoooooo like i feel normal. i feel so normal its insane. i can wake up and feel normal and i have energy, not even like. excessive. i just HAVE energy, which i never really had before? the fatigue fucking sucked the life out of me but atm im in a good place like mentally and getting there physically. im sore all over from working out, whcih ive done almost every day this week. im being social. im thriving. im losing weight. hopefully im building lean muscle mass too.

wish i took a before photo. im still extremely overweight but i know im slimming down and i feel great and cute and good looking. to reach a healthy weight i have like. so any kgs to go .... but u know. i dont know how much i believe these ideal weight bmi things, like i just cnanot conceptualise what i would look like if i was that slim??? and i havent weighed that much since i was a child. we’ll see what happens. this week was pretty easy all things considered, i hope i can keep it up.

so far my biggest side effect complaints are cotton mouth and irritability (see gif for example). its not a constant thing but i do think im more aggressive than usual? im ready to start biting people. oh also the insomnia i guess but these three things... could be for any reason. not just the drugs. its impossible to say. im not unfamiliar with dry mouth and trouble sleeping from antidepressants ive taken in the past lol.

#i guess this is the ramblings of a crazy person but really its me enthusing about how great i feel #discussion of weight loss and medication. idk if that triggers any of you people but theres the warning just in case #i have never felt so. neurotypical. lmao #BIGGEST complaint tho is the pharmacist told me id probably get a little high.#bc most peopl who take it get that. i have no hgih. where is my little high. :(#please dont tell me that headrush was it lmao that was awful

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warmau · 4 years

Text

★ donation request: (very silly) villain!au baekhyun

even though your day had started off bad, with the whole missing your bus to work and forgetting your wallet at home, you really didn’t think it was going to get worse

and somehow - it had

after deciding to rush through a crowded street to get to your favorite lunch spot, you had gotten tangled up in some kind of public demonstration

or at least that's what you thought it was

until suddenly, your torso was wrapped up in something like sticky taffy and you were being pulled into the side of your city’s most notorious villain

byun baekhyun

(the son of a candy shop owner who’d apparently taken all the recipes he’d learned as a kid for sweets and turned them into weird and wonky weapons)

at first you had just been shocked - your body was slowly being engulfed in sweet fruit-roll up like cotton candy and baekhyun was stuttering manically about his plan to take over the world

and then that shock just fizzled into crankiness

because ok, where was your city’s most notorious superhero?

kim jongin

whose record of beating baekhyun in most of these little performance was ,,,,,,,,,,, well zero to none

you had expected jongin would show up at some point, dashing smile and the whole teleportation thing he had going on

he’d just pop up beside you in a blink of a second

get you out of this candy web

and rescue you

like he had done million times before

but

to your amazing luck, he didn’t show up and now ,,,,,,,,,,, well now you were in baekhyun’s ‘evil genius lair’ or whatever he had called it

which, as sweet as it smelled, wasn’t somewhere you wanted to be spending your evening

you briefly wondered if your capture was being broadcasted on the news - or like - if anyone was going to come save you at all

baekhyun had busied himself doing something in the other room, where there were boiling pots of what looked like twizzlers and candycorn - whirring machines that were producing ice cream? or whipped cream? who knew?

for a villain, his sugary image wasn’t at all intimidating

the most ‘evil’ thing about him was probably the monocle he chose to wear. and the monocle was pink - so even that didn’t add to the whole bad guy look you were sure he was intending

but, given how cute everything was, this taffy you were stuck in was real

and after a while you were growing concerned that you’d be stuck in it forever

“hey, i have a question”

you call out and hear baekhyun’s humming stop

he comes out of the room and you notice he’s taken that (dumb) monocle off

now he’s just in that pink stripped suit of his, gloves on hands and something that looks like a knife made of strawberry jello in his hand

can that even hurt someone?

“what is it?”

“well - um, you got me - but what are you planning to do with me?”

you question, shifting a little, your hands tired from being trapped at your sides

baekhyun’s face shrouds over in a bit of confusion and then he just sort of sighs

“i actually don’t know. i thought jongin would show up - or like the mayor - or someone”

he shrugs

“you’re the first ‘citizen’ ive actually managed to capture”

“so - you don’t have any plan?”

you can tell he’s thinking of an excuse - the way his nose scrunches up and his adorable face (just another reason why you aren’t sure why in the world he decided to partake in all this evil villain crap) gets all thoughtful

all he comes up with is a plain and simple;

“nope”

“well,,,,,,,,,then can you undo this taffy on me or something. its starting to hurt.”

“oh sh- sorry!”

he rushes over and you are equally as dumbfounded that he just agreed as you are kind of endeared by his obvious clumsy handiwork

he starts pulling at the taffy in clumps and you’re like

oh my god, he doesn’t even know how to get me out of this huh

as baekhyun continues to try and set you free, you notice that he doesn’t look as ,,,,,,,, wild as all the publicity makes him seen

the photos you’ve seen in the papers and on the news always portray him as some kind of mad scientist with an enthusiasm for candy

the last part is true but ,,,,,,,, you’re not starting to believe the whole crazy thing

maybe in any other situation where you’re tied up like this you’d be terrified to peep a word

but you can’t help and ask; “why did you become a villain?”

he stops pulling at the taffy and looks at you

“huh?”

“you - well any other villain would probably just have offed me by now right?”

he teeters backwards, eyes wide

“w- what, no - i dont want to hurt anyone!”

“sorry - then how are you a villain?”

“because i want to take over the world”

your hands a little looser now that half the taffy is gone

“and then what?”

baekhyun sort of stares and then tilts his head toward all his weird candy inventions

“give people sweets?”

again, in any other situation, you think you’d just shut your mouth but you seriously cannot stop yourself from letting out a small laugh

“that doesn’t sound evil at all.”

he kind of looses the confusion, a sadness of some sort washes over his face

“yeah, people never let me say that part. they just decided - jongin’s the good guy and im the bad guy.”

you kind of don’t know what to say to that sentiment, instead you just clear your throat

“um - the taffy -”

“oh, yeah!”

it takes baehyun a while but he figures out a way to get you out of it

nervous chuckles all in between

and as soon as he does you know the best option is: bolt for the door

but at the same time, baekhyun isn’t the least bit dangerous

and you can’t stop thinking about what he said

“hey, listen i know you - captured me and all this stuff but,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

you cant believe you’re about to say this

but hey, baekhyun is cute and always smells like cookie dough which is something not common for most men, so why not

“but if you ever wanna sit down and tell me more about this ‘world domination through candy’ plan - ill be available.”

baekhyun’s mouth falls open, and somehow even then he still manages to be adorable

“a-are you asking me, the person who tied you up in taffy, on a date?”

“well you called it a date, i was just saying id be willing to listen to your plan”

baekhyun reddens and stutters, “o-oh alright, sure - how can i contact you?”

“ill give you my number - please dont wrap me up in that sticky stuff ever again ok?”

he promises he won’t

when you walk out of his ‘lair’ which is just the basement of his dad’s old candy shop you think

hmmmm, it wasn’t really that bad of a day when you take all things into account.

missed the bus, no wallet, didn’t get saved by the towns hero, but you did get a date with a very cute - villain? candy maker? who knows

#is this based of his albums title song - yes #im corny #baekhyun scenarois #exo scenarios #baekhyun au #exo au #candy/ LOL #baekhyun #donation commissions #sfw #weapons mention /

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la5t-res0rt · 4 years

Note

Okay but it literally, LEGALLY, isn't classified as sim cp. You don't have to look at it if you want. And none of those things on that list are okay: antis shouldn't be sending death threats, babes shouldn't be either. Name calling is also out of the window because its childish and stupid. And making fun of people or invalidating their identities is wrong too. But I dlnt think you understand that /both/ sides do all that. You cant sit here and have a double standard like that.

oh i understand perfectly well

i just dont think you do

yeah the behavior in both sides can be pretty crummy but if you literally think that people shouldnt be called out for tolerating this sort of behavior that is literally harmful to so many people myself fucking included like oh fuck would i have loved to have never had to look at the content but its all the fuck over the place and so many of the shippers are so fucking entitled and so conceited that they are actively ASKING for it that one chicks ask box is a fucking taunt she lives for the attention good or bad

at this point I have a side that i favor because the other side sent my friend death threats sent me threats of violence belittled my mental health stole my friends art and maliciously reposted and edited their artwork that same side made incredibly upsetting artwork about causing harm to an actor i

the same side that bullied a fourteen year old after they had the nerve to speak up about the shit going on the same side that came for me for not knowing every single detail of said fourteen year olds very complex and not at all my business mental illness

the side that took something that gave me so much comfort and happiness and made me remember the abuse i endured when I was thirteen i hate that the internet is still such a ducking shitty place to be a lonely kid who just wants to be liked

the same side that writes romanticized rape and writes a black lgbt+ character being a subject of abuse the same side who thinks stories of characters of color need to struggle and endure pain for it to be a valid piece of writing or the side that talks down to young people and minors and then turning around and writing graphic content involving a teenage girl

a side that includes a transmed guy who is so vile that i honest to god use the word hate to describe me feelings for him

but yeah the side that pointed out that maybe saying that you basically only view women as sex objects in that you would perform sex acts for compensation with them but not actually pursue relationships with is a problematic statement or maybe the jewish teenager who asked someone to stop throwing the term nazi around THOSE are the real villains of the story theyre the ones that need to be taught a damn lesson jesus h christ

if you are still talking about the rae biphobia fiasco literally none of us ever said she wasnt bi that I know of i know i didnt we simply pointed out that what she said was an inherantly biphobic statement being lgbt+ doesnt mean you cant belittle other identities look at nasti and how he feels about the trans experience as if he owns the damn thing ugh fucking hell you made me mention these people by name thats how cranky i am

basically on top of all the shitty things done to me and my friends I dont want people using their shit triggering content to hurt people like i was hurt

also in the United States simulated cp is only okay if it passes this thing called the miller test and buddy pal chumbo nearly all the work ive had the great misfortune fails at least one of the three prongs of the miller test the whole area is very murky and not well defined but our neighbor nation of Canada (if youre in the us) is full stop no cp of any kind no ifs ands or butts

why dont you go tell nasti to shut his yap about solar or tell rae to gather her cronies and fucking chill and stop bugging me because im getting very sick of having to tell people how i feel and why i do what i do if you really think both sides are that bad why do t you go try and talk to them because im not budging that shit is wrong and i wont sit by in silence as if it isnt

if youre a beetlebabe shipper trying to get my to badmouth antis fine yeah we can be a bit intense and yeah there have been antis who’ve done shitty things in the past but if anyone is caught being shitty its over dude you are ejected from the good graces

and if youre a neutral youre doing a great job at being neutral but it is making me very angry and neutrality is comparable to complacency so im not in your camp at all

thanks again for writing in im not really sorry for being harsh but i really am sick of this shit so maybe go try talking to someone else for a little bit like literally any beetlebabe and see what they say back to you id love to see it

editors note because i couldnt fit this anywhere but if an anti does something wrong in the same vein as the beetlebabes and i hear about it im done with them full stop they dont get my support or anything and i wont state publicly who they are but there are several people that have been cut off because of their behavior

the thing is i dont seem to see the bad stuff they do or maybe i just dont see what they do as bad because in my book telling someone pedophilia is wrong isnt harassment its just a statement of fact anyway if you have receipts of antis being as hateful as babe shippers* im all eyes pal but dont give me the same stuff ive covered because ive made my stance on those things quite clear

*threats of violence belittling mental illnesses harassing a mentally ill 14 year old making fun of eating disorders and many other bad things

(Note: pointing out the inherant biphobia of a phrase is also not harassment)

bye

#i side with my friends #im not neutral #I can recognize the flaws and things and still be a part of it for example I am a US citizen #discourse

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harlot-of-oblivion · 5 years

Text

A Rose of Unconscious Beauty (Part 6)

All work and no play make Dante a dull devil, but when he finds out about his brother's flowery friend he sees an opportunity to cure his boredom. Well, that and his curiosity about what kind of woman catches Vergil's attention. So, he decides to spontaneously visit your garden to see what all the buzz is about.

Hope you enjoy these two finally meeting! And gardening puns...just all the gardening puns. 😆❤

Here’s the link to the list of all the flowers featured in this part. 🌹🥰🌹

Chapter 1: Meeting Dante

Life has been pretty good for Dante since he got back from his little foray into hell. He may still be in quite a bit of debt, but that never stops him from living life to the fullest. For the first time in a long time he does not feel so alone in the Devil May Cry shop. There is just one problem that plagues him now as he leans back in his chair, feet propped up on the edge of his desk as a huge overdrawn yawn escapes his mouth…

He is bored.

Very, very…BORED.

The occasional odd job usually keeps him entertained, but business has been slow recently. There is only so much games of pool and swimsuit magazines before Dante is positively itching to fight something…anything. Nero has taken advantage of this dry spell and is finally getting hitched to Kyrie. Even Vergil, who he annoys into fighting sometimes just for sheer fact that it relieves his boredom for a while, has taken to disappearing from time to time.

Oh yeaaaaah. The mysterious flowery friend.

Dante ponders the potential of that whole situation giving him something to do besides sitting alone in his shop. He did not think it strange when Vergil started to go out more…in fact, he is proud that his brother is finally embracing his humanity and making this world his home. But when his cranky brother came back to the shop with pretty little blue flowers wrapped around his beloved Yamato…well, now that just piqued his curiosity. He tries to goad Vergil into telling him where he got the flowers or where he has been disappearing off to lately, but that conversation usually ends with him being stabbed a lot. Dante got his answer one day when Nero asks if he knew this florist that his old man just recommended to him. It all just suddenly clicked. The constant visits, the soft cloud nine smiles, just the overall secrecy…

Vergil…has a crush.

Just the idea of his brother being head over heels for someone has Dante shaking his head in wonder. Vergil has already left the shop, probably visiting his florist friend if Dante had to guess. It happens to be the day that Nero and Kyrie are supposed to meet their savior of flowers. He wanted to tag along to see what all the hype is about, but Nero absolutely refused to let him. Usually, that is not enough to deter Dante, but then his nephew just had to sick Kyrie on him. And how could anyone say no to her? So, here he sits…extremely bored and very curious.

I have to know if it’s true…if my dumbass brother really is lovestruck…

A sudden idea pops into Dante’s head as he takes out his cellphone and begins to text:

Dante: Hey! Gonna see your old mans flower girl today, amiright?

Nero: NO. Forget it.

Nero: Im not spying 4 u

Dante: NO ONE said ANYTHING about spying!

Dante: Just a couple of pics!

Nero: NO U CREEP

Dante: OH C’MON!!!

Dante taps on his screen vigorously as he provokes his stubborn nephew to reply, but after a few minutes of continued silence he gives up. He rolls his eyes as he groans in mild irritation and drops his phone onto the desk. His nimble fingers stroke his scruffy chin in thought, wondering if there will ever be an end to this torturous boredom…then it hits him faster than the Devil May Cry van. Nico! Dante snaps his fingers and nods his head in approval at his own ingenious idea. He snatches his phone back up and begins to text again:

Dante: Heyyyyyyy

Nico: Wat

Dante: Wanna help a friend out?

Nico: Lemme guess

Nico: U want me to spy for ya, right?

Dante: A couple of pics is NOT spying

Nico: Yeah yeah whatever

There is a long pause and Dante almost thinks his last-ditch effort is a bust. Until…

Nico: Mayyyyybe I’ll do it

Nico: Wats in it for me tho?

Dante only has to think about her prize for second before replying.

Dante: I’ll let you check out my guns

Nico: Ive already seen my fair share of muscles

Dante: Im talking about Ebony and Ivory

Nico: U GOTTA FUCKIN DEAL

Dante clenches his fist in victory. Nico tells him to hold tight while she finds a good hiding spot and the perfect angle. So, he grabs the nearest swimsuit magazine to read while he waits for Nico’s sneaky photos.

He only has to read a couple of pages of articles and check out a few curvy ladies before his phone vibrates. “Well now…let’s see what we've got,” he announces aloud as his hand instantly picks up his phone and eagerly opens up the message. Here she is! is written below two pictures of a bubbly woman with a bright smile and lively eyes. In one photo she is sitting down at a garden table, and in the other she is standing by a bed of flowers. She is wearing white summer dress and has a white flower in her hair. Dante chuckles in glee because now he understands why his brother has fallen so hard: the local florist is a total babe!

Dante is about to get back to his magazine when another text from Nico comes through:

Nico: Yoooooooooo

Nico: U didnt tell me that Vergil was gonna be here!

Dante: Im not my brother’s keeper!

Nico: Im NOT about to get stabbed if he catches me

Nico: Im out

Dante: WAIT

Dante: I’ll sweeten the deal!

Dante: If you get a pic of them together

Nico: DANTE

Dante: Then I’ll let you check out my guns

Dante: FOR A WEEK

A very long pause follows and Dante thinks that Nico is still going chicken out despite his sudden add on to her prize when her response chimes in:

Nico: U better hold up your end of the deal, Dante

Dante: Nicooooo u know I always keep my word!

Nico: Cuz if u dont, I’ll run u over with the van

Dante: No u wont

Nico: VROOM VROOM BITCH

Dante’s amused chuckle echoes throughout the shop. “So, that’s where you’re running off to,” he comments to himself. “The secret garden.” As he waits for Nico’s next photo, he starts to wonder what kind of a woman catches the eye of his broody brother. I mean…sure, you’re a cutie, but Dante knows that Vergil is not so easily swayed by looks alone. Of course, he could be reading into this too much and you’re actually just a really adorable friend…which is why he has to see both of you together. If Vergil has that soft smile on his face and if you show any sign of reciprocating his brother’s feelings…

His phone vibrates and Dante immediately opens the message. How's this for ya? reads Nico’s text along with a bunch of laughing emojis and a video clip. He arches an eyebrow as he presses play. He sees Nero, Kyrie, Vergil, and you all walking together by a bunch of flowers. He cannot make out the soft conversation of the group, but he does hear a lighthearted giggle as you do a twirl. Dante squints his eyes when he notices your hand reach for something in your dress…then his eyes widen as you throw petals into the air. The distinct growl of his brother comes through the audio and Dante nearly chokes on his own laugh. Some of the little pink flowers you threw…are sticking to Vergil’s hair!

I’m totally saving this just for the look on his face!

Dante kicks his feet off of the desk and he leans forward in his chair, never taking his eyes off the screen as Nero and Kyrie step out of frame. He tilts his head when Vergil kneels and you start to pluck the flowers from his hair. Dante has to rub his eyes to make sure he is really seeing these events correctly. Things get really interesting when you move in closer. The awkward expression on his brother’s face is pure gold. But what really has him pressing his nose to the screen is when Vergil stands up and you both just stare at each other. It is like a scene cut straight from a romantic movie. Dante has never seen his brother look so…totally in love. And you are mirroring the exact same expression.

Jackpot!

The video starts to shake and he hears Nico quietly cursing up a storm. The screen is a blur for a moment before it just totally cuts off. Dante is still for a while as he takes in everything that just happened. He honestly did not expect Vergil to be bitten by the love bug. A genuine smile curls on his lips as he thinks that maybe you are exactly what his brother needs to finally let go of the past and start living. But he cannot be the helpful little brother that he is without at least meeting you first. The genuine smile turns mischievous as Dante texts Nico about happened after the video ended and where exactly is this secret garden in the city...

(A Week Later...Reader’s POV)

The late afternoon sun beats down as you wipe the sweat from your brow. You examine the rambling roses you are currently pruning, checking to see if you missed anything before standing up and stretching your legs. Sweet basil, it’s hot, you thought, taking off your gardening hat and fanning your face as you pocket your pruning shears. You think about Vergil and how he always seems to keep cool while wearing a long blue coat in the summer.

The power of Sparda must also include internal air conditioning. You giggle at your own quip as you put the gardening hat back on your head and decide to take a break. As you walk through the multitude of flowers you search for any sign of the Son of Sparda among the flora. He has not called to inform you that he is stopping by today, but that does not necessarily mean he will not show up unannounced…annoyingly startling you before buttering you up with an offering of beautiful blooms.

Vergil has been regularly visiting you in your garden now. Sometimes both of you read and drink tea under the fruit trees, other times you have to work and just let him read in peace while frolicking about your garden. Every now and then he insists on looming close behind you, claiming that he wants to observe how you arrange bouquets and care for the flowers. There are a few times that you somehow rope him into helping since he is so inclined to learn and you must admit…seeing a tall and imposing man handle tiny flowers carefully is so endearing, making you fall even harder for the handsome devil.

You step through the backdoor and walk into your kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and swiftly open the door. When the cold air hits your face you sigh and just stand there for a moment to cool off as you reach for a bottle of water. You close the fridge and head to your office to check the status of a shipment on your computer while you guzzle down half of the bottle. The flowers for Nero and Kyrie’s wedding are well in supply, but you ordered some extra ribbon, wires, needles, and other miscellaneous supplies. It is a little stressful that you only have so much time to pull this off, but that only pushes you to do your utmost best to give them the best flowers they have ever seen. All seems to be order, you mentally note, finishing off your water bottle as you tab out of the website.

Time to get back to work! You go back out to the garden, grab the garden hose, and turn on the outdoor faucet. You adjust the nozzle on the hose to spray into a mist and set off to water some flowers. “Alright, my darlings!” you say cheerfully as you step up to the first section of flowers. “Who’s thirsty?” You happily spray their petals with glistening droplets as you hum softly. One of the many reasons why you enjoy gardening so much is just how tranquil it can be, your mind slipping into a peaceful state as all your worries just drift away and you feel like a flower basking in the warm sunlight.

Although, you do find yourself ceaselessly daydreaming about a certain white-haired gentleman while gardening lately. You cannot get the feel of his slicked back locks out of your thoughts, yearning to do more than just pluck petals from his hair. You wonder if the bergamot scent is from a cologne he is wearing or the constant cups of his favorite tea. And the expression on his face after you picked the stray petals from his hair…cheeks slightly blushing as his gleaming silver eyes stare straight into your soul. The very memory of it has you shivering in delight as you turn around to water the next section of flowers.

“Holy hollyhock!”

The sudden appearance of a man in a long red jacket standing in your garden has you jumping back in surprise. Your foot steps on the garden hose, making you lose your balance and start to tip over. Thankfully, the stranger has quick reflexes and quickly leans forward to catch your fall. “Whoa! Easy there!” he exclaims as he sets you upright, doing his best to avoid the misty spray of the hose still clutched in your hand. That is when you notice his distinct white hair swaying in front of his blue eyes. And his face…if it was not for the slight fuzz of a beard or the care-free expression, he would be the spitting image of Vergil. Which can only mean…

“You must be Dante.”

“What gave it away?” he asks, dramatically holding his hands out to the side as he nods his head in confirmation.

“You wouldn’t be a Son of Sparda if you didn’t scare your local gardener to death!”

Dante tilts head at your answer and smirks as he examines you from head to toe. “I dig the overalls,” he comments as he gestures to your attire. You look down at your green gardening overalls, the phrase "I like big buds and I cannot lie" imprinted on the front surrounded by large colorful flower buds.

“Thanks!” you laugh, turning off the garden hose. “I’m Y/N! I don’t recall Vergil saying that he was going to finally introduce me to you.”

“So, he’s told you about me? Did he mention that I am the better-looking twin?” he jests as he takes a step back and strikes a charmingly rugged pose.

“Uh, he mentioned that you are a demon hunter, a foolish buffoon, and…whoa!” Your eyebrows shoot up as you closely examine his coat. “Your jacket does look really expensive!”

Dante rolls his eyes as he relaxes from his over-the-top stance. “He just can’t let that go, huh?” He shakes his head and lightly chuckles.

“So…what brings you to my garden?” you inquire kindly, not letting his surprise visit distract you from being hospitable. Dante did not mention his brother being present here with him, so you hope that Vergil does not mind you being friendly and helping his brother out if he needs it.

“The girls keep telling me I need something to brighten up the shop,” he explains as he scratches the back of his head. “So, I figured some flowers from my brother’s friendly neighbor florist might do the trick.”

You smile sweetly. “Okay! Do you have any kind of flowers in mind?”

“Well, my mother’s favorite flowers were-”

“Burgundy roses!”

Dante quirks an eyebrow. “Did you just read my mind?”

A giggle escapes your lips as you shake your head. “Vergil told me that his mother had a modest garden herself, and that she grew those roses a lot. Don’t worry,” you affirm as your hand sets down the garden hose. A big confident smile spreads across your face as you twirl in excitement, pausing to strike your own cute pose. “I got you covered!”

He nods his head in approval. “Right on.”

You make small talk with Dante as you lead him to the rose section of your garden, asking if by “the girls” he means the other two demon hunters that work with him. He confirms your guess and grumbles about how unfair it is that you know so much the crew while he knows next to nothing about you. That is quickly remedied though as he bombards you with the oddest series of questions…most of them involving strawberries and pizza. When you tell him that you used to work at the local pizzeria and bakery in your home town he enthusiastically asks if you made the pizzas. You laugh at his boyish glee and inform him that you sometimes helped with the pizzas, but you mostly baked the pastries and desserts.

“Here we are!” You point to a bush full of the dark reddish-purple roses as you step through the various buds and blooms. “Roses of unconscious beauty!” Dante studies the rose bush as you approach it, lean in, and inhale their lovely fragrance. You breathe out in delight and start looking for the best blooms for a bouquet. “Aren’t they lovely?” You look over your shoulder and see that Dante is barely paying attention. His blue green eyes gaze distantly at the rose bush, reminding you a little of Vergil’s silver blue eyes when he recedes into his head. You wait a moment before deciding to coax him out of pensive stupor.

“Flower for your thoughts?”

Dante blinks and shakes his head. “Sorry about that. I was just…remembering something.” He walks over and stands next you, a small grin appears on his face as he peers down at you. “These would look nice on my desk. I’ll take ‘em.”

“Alright!” You reach into your pocket, taking out the pruning shears still stored in there and begin snipping some select roses, carefully removing the thorns before sticking them in another pocket until you can properly tie them together.

Dante quietly watches you for a few moments before he crosses his arms and leisurely leans back. “So…you and my brother.”

You snip a third rose as you glance over at him. “Me and your brother…?” you repeat, hoping he will expand upon the conversation he started. Dante just continues to gaze at you inquisitively. Your brow furrows in puzzlement as you wonder what he is trying to imply…until it suddenly hits you.

No way. He can’t be…

“Are you…Dad-terogating me?”

“Am I what now?”

“You know…that thing fathers do when daughters bring home their boyfriends.” Your voice drops as you do your best impersonation a stern father figure. “What are your intentions little girl?”

“Oh man,” Dante snickers. “And what if I am?” he counters with a puckish smirk.

“Well, Mr. Sparda,” you begin with a cheeky grin, turning to him while you clutch a thornless burgundy rose close to your chest. “I only have the best intentions towards your brother, Vergil. They include smiles, laughter, and a healthy dose of poetry with dash of tea…Oh!” You dip your hand into the front pocket of your overalls. “And lots of flower showers!” Your grin turns cheerful as you toss pink hydrangea petals high into the air.

Dante stares at you closely for a moment, totally unfazed by the petals scattering around him before he chuckles softly. “Well now…how can I argue with that? My party pooper of a brother needs it.”

You giggle and go back to snipping more roses. A fourth one is freed and you begin to remove the thorns from the stem. “It’s sweet of you to look out for him, you know,” you point out with a genuine smile. “You’re a good brother, Dante.”

He smiles back and is about to respond when an awful hellish screech fills the air. Your head snaps over to the direction it is coming from, but you already know what those sounds mean. Dante casually looks over as well, but he does not look as concerned as you. His face reminds you more of the neighborhood kids when the ice cream truck drives by. “Looks like our flower pickin’ is gonna have to wait,” he surmises as he struts briskly towards the commotion.

You pocket the pruning shears and the rose in your hand as you hurriedly follow behind him. The screeching is now really loud and as you step into to a clearing you see the familiar forms of demons just beyond the gates of your garden. Even though you live in a city known for its constant hellish attacks, the sight of their malformed bodies never fails to freeze your blood. The closest one, resembling a large corrupted bat, flies over the gate and hovers near one of your apple trees. It shrieks as its throat starts to glow red. Anger floods through your body when you register what it intends to do to your lovely fruit trees.

“Oh, no you DON’T!” you shout as you run by the gardening tools still laying out, grabbing the garden hoe as you pass by and rush towards the bat-like creature. It swivels around just as you draw your makeshift weapon back and swing up at it with all your strength. The hoe connects and a pained squeal rings out as the demon is knocked back a little bit away from the apple tree. You let out a shuddering breath, quickly realizing that perhaps smacking a demon with a gardening tool was not the best idea.

Multiple gunshots startle you out of your internal dread as they streak up at the bat-like demon. It shakes violently before it drops to the ground and disintegrates. You turn around and see Dante holstering two guns behind his back before giving you a round of applause. “Not bad! Very inventive use of…” his hands pause as he inspects your tool curiously.

“It’s a hoe,” you bluntly inform him.

“Really?” Dante puts his hands on his hips as he circles around you, shielding you from the oncoming demons notice. “Well then…you really know how to handle a hoe!”

You snort and check your tool for any signs of it being broken or bent. “You know what they say…a dirty hoe is a happy hoe!” you joke, flashing him the disgusting bloody residue on the tip. Dante hunches over as a hearty laugh burst from his lips. You feel a sense of accomplishment at making such a clever gardening pun, but it is short lived as a series of terrible growls and roars remind you of the current danger. “Umm,” you mutter softly, “as much as I would like to give more demons a good hoeing…”

Dante reigns in his boisterous laughter and nods. “Yeah...get yourself to safety.” He runs and skillfully jumps over the gate. Before he goes to deal with the demons, he looks over his shoulder at you. “Even though I’m not a hoe I can still get rid of these nasty weeds,” he quips with a wink.

You laugh and shake your head at his own gardening pun before retreating back to your house, sighing in relief as your backdoor comes into view. When you are a few feet away from safety, a low rumbling growl reaches your ears, making you stop in your tracks. You still have your garden hoe, so you hold it up in defense as you scan your surroundings for any immediate threat. It is quiet for a moment…then a series obscure red streaks zoom around you. Your eyes try to track whatever is circling you, but you cannot see what is stalking you like prey.

Your body is quaking now as you turn around to glance behind you. A lizard-like demon with a vicious red blade protruding from one of its scaly arms is leaping through the air straight at you. Your instincts kick in and you raise your gardening tool up in defense, even though you feel certain that it will not enough to block that sharp blade. A series of tumultuous emotions sling around your mind, but one strongly overtakes you as the image of Vergil pops into your head…regret.

I didn’t even get to tell him that-

Before you are able to close your eyes and brace yourself for the deadly impact, a sudden blur of blue spheres pop up and knock back your scaly assailant. A familiar form clad in a blue coat suddenly appears next to the demon and proceeds to hit it with a series of slashes. When he finishes his ruthless onslaught, he turns his back on the demon and dramatically sheaths his sword. Just as the hilt of the sword slams into the case, the demon convulses in pain one last time before collapsing on the ground.

The regret you felt earlier fades away as your devilish rescuer turns towards you. The usual scowl on his face is now even more severe as he scrutinizes your appearance. He may be fuming with rage, but you do not mind, nor do you care. “Vergil!” you cry, trying to thank him for saving your life, but you feel so overwhelmed that no words come out. All you can do is smile gratefully as your eyes well up with tears, so happy that you get to see the man you feel so deeply for again after all.

Read Part 6 (Ch. 2) here

Read on my Ao3

My Master List if you want more ❤

Tagging: @drusoona, @thedyingmoon, @bettybattaglia, @veenus-ow, @meowykittenn, @fandomhell97, @vergilsangel, @venomous-lawyer, @alicewinchester

#vergil x reader #vergil #devil may cry #dmc 5 #romance #fluff #flowers #the language of flowers #gardener reader #writing #fanfiction #humor #meeting the family #hijinks and shenanigans #wingman dante #A Rose of Unconscious Beauty #a rose among the briars #and just like that a legendary wingman is born #harlot writes

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

tgcf lb part 5 chapters 34 - 42 wow i keep cranking these out

okay i do care about feng xin. cranky but quietly forgiving debts. he was the one who stayed with xie lian in banishment for a while thats interesting

lmao yeah thats for sure. secrets are funny. “dont tell xie lian i want his debt forgiven.” “no problem buddy he wont hear it from me ;)” i imagine this happens a lot. gossip in the heavenly court must be something else.

i think its cool that the officials can transform their appearances including gender presentation i think it would be boring to live for hundreds of years and never mess around with that if you could. not so sure that anything cool is going to happen with it wrt commentary on gender but that sure would be neat. considering how few major female characters are around im not really expecting much but idk its something

if they ever do a live action tgcf i hope they preserve its comedic nature and do it kind of like lingjian mountain with some sort of modern day fourth-wall breaking meta humor. some of the items and mechanisms essentially function as smartphones and i think it would be great if they leaned into how funny that is instead of making it super serious

spoiled rich boy seems to be quite a theme among mxtx characters i know but here with wind master qingxuan its being commented on interesting. i like him tho

the thing about the wind master and ling wen being more powerful when they appear as the gender that mortals worship them as is pretty interesting!! something kind of interesting is happening wrt commentary on gender!! will it continue? we shall see

death becomes her 1992 again this is funny ghost humor is funny more please

corpse bride 2005 GHOST CITY BABY. oh please more weird undead stuff please please i get it i get hua cheng now please

god i hate when im at the market with but my friend gets taken away for a ghost facial and im left all alone to deal with an extremely aggressive ghost prostitute but at least i was raised in abstinence so im chill about it

ADKJLKFJLflkasjf . KLFJASLKFJSLF. LKFJLDKSAFJSLJK. no further comment at this time

actually no i kind of love that as an excuse to get out a situation. love in general that xie lian does not hold others opinions of him that highly love a protagonist who is not too proud. to be fair for 800 years i dont think hes been around anyone whos opinion he would need to care about long term. also i was afraid that hua cheng was going to show up and have to rescue xie lian from the eww nasty dead girl prostitute and im glad that didnt happen

:Oc :Oc ^ thats xie lian and wind master. lang qianqiu was not wrong tho. dont be risking other peoples lives for your business smh

xie lian trying to bet on a low number and rolling high.... sorry beloved but you should have see that coming a mile away

this little dice shaking “teaching” scene is giving me hardcore dafan mountain flashbacks with hualian having a little moment while behind them theres an entire gambling den full of ghosts just watching them like. um. hello? guys? where is the violence?

lang qianqiu jock i think. wind master long suffering friend

that tumblr post thats like “no actually i dont want to fuck busty russian singles in my area” “i do. outta the way gayboy!” but xie lian and me respectively about the ghost city dancers

also love that hua cheng’s idea of pretending not to know xie lian involved personally calling him up to touch his hands for an extended period of time. i mean to be fair it worked but xie lian agrees with me on this so im right

makes sense love it. to be fair if i was a heavenly official i would also come to ghost city to party it up. goth central as rey called it

bandaged boy..... :(

i sincerely hope any adaption would include stuff like this and make it as funny as it is in my head

essentially the equivalent of those little doorknob covers you use to babyproof a house fjadlkfjfasd

hua cheng goth game hard af for having a sentient scimitar that can stare back at you

xie lian closet goth for this one

hua cheng is able to lend out his luck.. interesting. this feels like something that has the potential to end up sad lets see if that happens or not

okay just gonna cut it here. i do like the relationship between hua cheng and xie lian they clearly like each other and find each other funny and interesting and thats nice to see. still not sure what was going on in that first meeting but im guess we’ll find out more and im sure ill have more thoughts as time goes on im not even done with book one

#okay i should take a break #this is like all ive done today other than go to the post office and stare out the window #tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles

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s-fellows-art · 4 years

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If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog!😘😘😘😘

O.o back @ ya luv

Umm Im not really good at saying positive about my self since im a unreliable idiot storm when it comes to my own well being but I will try.

1. I’m one class away from a major in classical studies and am working on a business minor. I have no idea wtf Im gonna do with these degrees but there a thing.

2. Im 170.18 cm tall and do mostly Male cosplay’s due to my body type being a plank of wood and I enjoy it because f gender standards and my friend needs a romantic secondary for there cosplay imma help. I like to sew, and make most of my own cosplay's . I bought materials for a Levi (Sweet baby from obey me) dispute the fact i don’t stan anyone because i just want a jacket with some good pockets and well if Im half way there imma do the whole dam thing. Plus i think Levi would be really funny to wear to con. Can not figure out those headphones though. Might do Lucifer (love him) to but i. i don’t wanna wear all those layers in a hot ass building and I Dont wanna look like a pimp in the down town region of my city. im also scared to put contacts in my eyes so i often only do brown eyes or yellow eyed characters. I got the same hair as luci though.... I too also need a nap...

3. I really want to get into fashion design to improve on my character creation so that i can make a visual novel, but I'm gonna probably never finish it due to the music aspects of it since idk how to do any of that. I have a lot of unfinished projects and ideas. But i do write stories and stuff often on my free time and have debated even doing Hc’s or short stories for fandoms but I will probably never do so again after reading the awful stuff Ive written in the past and due to lack of self confidence.

4 (bonus!) Ive been told i am a shy cranky soft bean in person. .

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saltedcaramelbastard · 4 years

Text

it’s time to make headcanons for my villagers so i can draw gijinkas of themmmm

long-ish post bc of pictures so under the cut !!

Tad is 100% one of those trans guys that is just OBSESSED with working out but has impeccable vibes regardless. short king RIGHTS. uh also he’s the first villager who started saying trans rights as a catchphrase so.

I genuinely thought Flora was a male character for a good week or so, but honestly I stand by my first impression, so my headcanon is that she’s a drag queen who goes by her stage name and pronouns...which also meshes in so well with the Peppy villager obsession with wanting to be famous kdjfldsh

Drago is a just your very friendly neighborhood stoner bro who has nice long curly hair in a bun. definitely straight vibes from him not gonna lie but massive ally energy. would probably be the supportive ally to accompany a nervous baby gay to pride.

Chevre: COTTAGECORE LESBIAN. I will not elaborate on this. (do i need to?)

Julian....although he obviously speaks for himself(as in being gay as hell), I will say I think he is definitely a NYC ex-theater major who is now bougie as fuck for living in Manhattan. he probably posts thirst traps of his outfits/flexes his apartment decor on TikTok. (zero shade, i fucking love julian to death, he was my first campsite visitor and our aesthetics overlap sO hard)

Sylvana is SO impossibly baby. holy fuck i love her so much. anyways I think she’s definitely the epitome of that one classmate who is genuinely, inexplicably easy to talk to and nonjudgemental and just a very kind soul, will always help you when you forget what the homework was and text her in a panic. def is an artist in some form, idk her house is all cherry blossom stuff and its super aesthetic. anyways i think she’s a baby bisexual

after much consideration i think cranston is somewhat of a goth. hear me out. or at least some kind of alternative subculture. i picture him as wearing messy red eyeshadow and definitely has a fluffy mohawk or e-boy hair but its gotta be platinum blonde.

hes definitely an art student or loves interior design bc his house is IMPECCABLE, it’s white tile on the walls and floors and all his furniture is the red imperial collection. *chefs kiss* he contains multitudes what can i say. also even though he’s a lazy type, i most often find him sweeping the plaza! also he’s probably ‘straight’? but like, only because he’s never actually sat down to think about his sexuality and doesn’t rly care. like if someone did the “is kissing the homies gay” thing to him, he would give them a passionate kiss instantly

dobie reminds me of my grandpa who loved to read, and he’s just so wonderful to have. i really picture him always looking out for the rest of my villagers who are all super hyper and seem very young. i dont get why his personality is cranky(probably more accurate for older games) bc you can tell hes such a sweet soul. one time i saw him in the fossil collection at like midnight and im like yes this is peak old person activity.

i gave him the prime real estate in my neighborhood, his house is on the strip of land that juts out over the sand and to the water, so he has his own private boardwalk and a rocking chair at the waters edge. also i made sure it was on the part of the neighborhood that’s on the ground level so he doesn’t hurt his old bones walkin’ up them hills

i.... i don’t physically think i could humanize stitches. when i think of him irl i just imagine a literal teddy bear. if i HAD TO pick his humansona i would say he would be like a 13 year old kid who mostly wears oversized sweatshirts and is questioning their gender in a way that would make gatekeepers furious but fuck them. is genuinely optimistic about life and it’s weirdly encouraging.

Vivian: high femme lesbian who gets mistaken for just a business bitch heterosexual. incorrect. NEXT. also, she’s my NEWEST villager(as in, moving-in- tomorrow-new), so i dont know TOO much about her yet? she was in my campsite and I let her take nana’s spot because we share a birthday and she was the first non-ugly villager in the tent since julian. so we’ll see!!

#n.txt #acnh

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bsotted · 5 years

Text

hello! an update.

update is i was planning to meet up and do the shitty breaking up today, because we are both extremely busy but i felt obligated to do this in person, not just over text or something, so I waited even though it’s been like a week that i’ve wanted to do this.

problem: i just got this long fucking message

Im sure you’re busy at moment. Anyway I hope see you tomorrow, babaymetal should be a blast. If you’re up to talk later tonight give me a jingle, if not no big deal. But before I end this message I just want say I dearly apologize for being a mess lately,I’ve been behaving in a weak insecure manner and want to say I’m incredibly sorry and I really hope you can forgive me.I get really maladjusted this time of year and the whole process of quitting smoking is really effecting my mental reasoning and morale(not an excuse just a reason) and I know I can been difficult to deal with so I also want to mention I absolutely appreciate you not giving up on me and not just throwing me away. You’ve been absolutely amazing and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being such a wonderful human being,friend and partner.

“i’m sure you’re busy” is about me getting in the shower and not replying immediately to his last message, which was about getting food before the show.

the “weak, insecure manner” is a reference to him straight up asking me if i’m seeing someone else the night that i came home and wrote this whole thing, which happened after he showed up unannounced at work to see if i was free to hang out later, and i told him no, i was not free.

and then, later, i got a message about the concert we’re supposed to go to (today! that we’ve been planning for over a month!) that says more or less “just let me know if you can’t make it because i need to resell the tickets”

literally YESTERDAY we were hammering out details about where and when to meet for this thing. i figured i would i didn’t respond to his latest text fast enough? or something? is that why this weird passive aggressive “tell me so i can get my money back” message?? what the fuck. “thank you for not throwing me away”??????

now i actually DONT want to go to the concert. i was excited to go, i asked for this day off from work way back in fucking august. but if i don’t go i don’t know when our schedules will align again so that i can do this breakup in person. it feels shitty to do something like that over text or on the phone. i wanted him to at least get to still enjoy the concert so i was going to do it afterwards

i don’t know. i think i just need to venmo him for the price of the tickets and tell him to meet me at a coffee shop someplace instead, because i can’t do this.

“throwing him away.” what the fuck

this isn’t about literally any of that. it’s not about having seasonal depression! it’s not about being sad! i’m not giving up on him for fucking quitting smoking and getting cranky! it’s all the other things i talked about in my vent post from last time. i didn’t even MENTION the “are you seeing someone else”

i shouldn’t even have to defend myself against that, but of COURSE not

fucking hell

#angie.txt

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bbybaku · 3 years

Note

hear me out, what if we got a part two to the no nut november with shiggy bc i really am wanting to hear how you’d play out the ending. maybe even having two alt endings…maybe

you are smart.

this is the ending i had planned (rough dom shig)

here is an alt ending. (soft dom shig)

warnings: long intro, sumt, teasing, degrading, slight mentions of blood, dom shig, sub reader, marking eachother up, spanking, rough sex, choking

2.7 k words

(to clarify no nut november is when men dont nut for the entire month, destroy dick december is when men masturbate for whatever the date is. so if its the third they would have to nut three times that day.)

Day 19. you had been satisfied and your boyfriend relaxed a bit but he was still on edge.

Shigaraki kept away for a few days, he would get busy with work or go to bed early or just play videogames nonstop in his freetime.

you knew not to take it personal.

he continued texting you, sending you memes, and calling you to talk about each others’ days while he gamed. but he kept his distance.

it wasnt until day 28 that he finally came over. you made dinner and the two of you talked for hours.

shigaraki said he wanted to spend the next two nights at your apartment so that at midnight you two could finally fuck.

after the long hellish month.

after dinner while you two were laying on the couch, you were half asleep when you felt both of your boyfriends big strong calloused hands on both of your boobs.

with your back on his chest and his hands on yours you could feel him bite your neck and then whisper

“all i can ever think about is you. i wanna fuck you so hard i can see the fear in your eyes. i’m going to cover you in bruises so everyone knows youre fucking mine. i am going to fuck your every day of december so hard you won’t be able to walk until february.”

you let out a whimper just at the thought. he started sucking hickies all over your neck. you checked your phone. it was 1 am on november 29th.

“one more day” you whispered as you nuzzled into him.

he groaned into your neck and put you in a headlock.

“im letting you off now, but tomorrow night youre in for it”and with that he let go.

he picked you up off of him and placed you next to him. he stood up and stretched. exposing just the right amount of midriff. you stared at his lower stomach, he stared at you.

shigaraki pulled his hoodie then took your jaw in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“what are you looking at?” he asked with a smirk.

you blushed and averted your eyes.

he laughed and slung you over his shoulder with a grunt.

“come on its bed time.”

he threw you onto the bed and you passed out.

when you woke up he had already left for work.

the day was long.

you just had to wait until midnight.

but the minutes felt like hours.

there was nothing to do.

well there was work to do but you didnt care for it.

and shiggy wasnt answering his phone.

you did just about everything you could think of at work.

your boss let you off early.

you went home at lunch, did the laundry, cleaned the floors, mirrors, did the dishes and dusted.

even after that there was still an hour until shigaraki came over.

you went on a walk. you so badly wanted to touch yourself but you knew better than that.

he was already cranky enough.

he would loose it more than you knew he was about to.

you walked. picked up coffee. walked back.

it was 5:30 when you arrived back at your apartment complex.

as you walked up the stairs with coffee in hand you prayed he would be there.

sure enough he was.

in his black slacks and black collared shirt with red vans and his hair messily in his face. you knew he had just taken it out of a bun. he was waiting in your doorway.

you had always found it hilarious that tomura shigaraki of all people worked a desk job.

“i was wondering where you went” he said calmly.

you were not calm.

you set down the coffee and ran up to him. engulfing him in a huge hug.

he was rigid initially, probably confused.

“what?” he asked while he slowly moved to hug you back.

“i don’t know i just missed you” you said, your response muffled due to your face being in his chest.

“uhh let me change first.” he said pulling away.

you hummed in response.

the day just kept dragging on. 6 hours until midnight.

your nipples tingled while you waited for him.

he came out of your bedroom in jeans and a hoodie, you knew the hoodie because it was your favorite to steal from him.

“now what” you asked as he plopped on the couch next to you.

“why are you so needy today?” he asked not looking up from his phone.

“i just want you” you whispered. being sure to give your boyfriend your big fuck me eyes.

he glared down at you and sighed.

his arms wrapped around your waist and squeezed.

“UHHHHHH. let’s take a nap then go get food”

“okay” you whispered.

you couldn’t sleep. but your boyfriend did and he snored. shigaraki slept like a baby. for a whole 2 and a half hours.

you woke up to him squeezing your waist and inhaling your neck.

“you always smell so good.” he said into your neck.

the two you went out for ramen bowls.

you were constantly checking the time. it was a little past 9.

your boyfriend was wearing a black hoodie and his hair was a mess from napping.

he made eye contact while slurping.

he starting eating the noodles with a lot of tongue.

he put his chopsticks down and put his hand in the bowl. all while holding eye contact.

“ew tomu stop” you said backing away from him.

shigaraki took his hand out of the bowl and laughed, whipping it off.

dinner was a cranky blur.

shigaraki driving you home was a cranky blur.

sitting together on the couch while playing mario cart was a cranky blur,

but the clock read 11:42.

it was almost time.

you gulped loudly.

shigaraki had definitely been waiting for you to notice the time.

because as soon as you tensed up next to him. he paused the video game and turned on the tv.

“im bored of this game” he said, his had rubbing up and down your thigh occasionally pinching as your plush skin.

“your heart is racing” he whispered.

“ive missed you” he whispered in a calm sweet tone, which he quickly switched demeanors. Tomura Shigaraki liked sex a certain way.

he took his free hand and pushed your face up to meet his, “youre such a desperate whore. couldnt even wait 30 days for my cock?”

he pushed your shorts and underwear to the side, running two fingers along your slick. “youve been wetter but luckily i have a whole 13 minutes to excite you.”

he knew how whispering made you feel.

shigaraki took the bottom of your chin and forced you to meet his mouth, passionatly kissing but remaining in charged.

sometimes when he kissed you he would see how much he could get you to submit.

like today, he started with a normal makeout session, which quickly turned into him holding your face with both hands. he shoved his tongue as far in as he could get it, even going as far as to bite your tongue.

at this point he had one hand on your face and another around your throat. he backed off the kiss and stood up. you went to look at the time but his hands still firmly planted on your face and neck stopped you. “focus on me.”

shigaraki forced your mouth open then promptly spit in it. he tapped your cheek with his hand and walked away calling out, “wait for a second and dont swallow the gift i just gave you.”

you sat and waited. all your concentration on not swallowed the glob of his spit on his tongue.

he came back from the bedroom not soon after, now shirtless.

“show it to me” he said.

you stuck your tongue out showing him, “stand”

you did as you were told, while you were getting up shigaraki grabbed your wrist and spun you so that your back was pressed against his chest, his hands once again found your throat and your face.

“swallow it slowly, i want to feel it.”

your eyes darrted to the time. you still had 8 minutes until midnight ended. until november was over.

you didnt swallow the spit. you squirmed in his grasp and said “make me”

shigaraki released his grip from you in surprise. you turned around, looking him in the eyes and swallowing the spit.

his mouth parted and he grabbed a handful of hair, dragging you to the bedroom. “oh you are in for it now, brat.”

he took you to your bedroom and closed the door, “wait” he said, standing you at the end of the bed.

he was shirtless but still wearing a watch.

he checked the time the shoved you onto the bed, he crawled on after, stripping you of your panties and shorts and laying you face down on the bed, you ass up on his lap.

you begged and pleaded and protested “you never say it but i know you live this shit.” shigaraki leans down to whisper in your ear. he lays a harsh and lloud slap on your ass.

you could feel the tent in his pants as he kneaded the fat of a cheek then slapped it with his open palm. after a few good hits, he ran his fingers through your folds. from front to bak. back to front.

2 fingers in your heat. in and out. and in and out.

a slap on the ass.

you could feel the tension building in your heat, but you knew shigaraki well enough to know that he wouldnt let you cum.

a third finger in your hole. pumping and twisting and stretching. you grinded into his fingers. landing you another slap.

you didnt have to look to know how red your ass was. when he groped you one last time it hurt.

“wasn’t that a good way to kill time until midnight”

shigaraki said as he pushed you onto the bed so that he could get off. he stood. over you and took his pants off. he then crawled back over to you in just his boxers.

“come on” he said lightly, trying to get you to sit up.

“noo it hurts” you whined at shigaraki

“then dont sit on your ass” he was getting impatient

you knelt in front of him and he pulled off your oversized shirt and unclipped your bra.

“stand up” he commanded.

you stood up and kicked off your shorts and panties, then promptly jumped onto shigaraki.

you landed half on him and half on the bed, he squeezed you and rolled the two of you over so that he was on top.

you whined as your raw butt rubbed against the sheets, promting shigaraki to place a few pillows under your upper back.

it made a slight difference but you knew that before long you wouldnt even notice the sting.

“i love seeing you like this” he said, with a hand in his boxers. he pulled out his member, already leaking with precum and guided himself into you.

you moaned as he entered slowly. once he was all the way in he found your neck and started sucking hickies onto your skin.

you squirmed, needing friction. “um shig are you gonna?”

he bit down where he was sucking. “no wait”

you whined in response.

both of his hands found your hands, pining you to the bed with intertwined fingers.

everytime you bucked your hips into him he would bite at your neck. you were probably bleeding but you didnt care and neither did he.

“shig please i need” you whined while attempting to pull your hands away from his.

he pulled off of your neck and looked down at you. “need what? need me? you already have me inside of you, needy whore. you waited a whole month and now you cant wait ten fuckin minutes while i mark you up so everyone will know who you belong to? fuckin christ.”

and with that shigaraki used one hand to pin your wrists together above your head and the other found the now raw skin on your neck.

he sighed “if this is what you want” and pulled all the way out then slammed back into you.

bottoming out would be and understatement. you did not want to imagine if you hadnt already been stretched out. with the pace he was going you knew you werent going to be able to walk tommorow or the day after that for that matter.

his grip on your throat stopped you from being able to call out not that you wanted him to slow down or go any lighter. you had been dreaming of this for an entire month. his balls hitting your red ass at an inhumane speed, his hand on your throat, and his crimson eyes staring into your soul.

“so fuckin hot. i love when youre like this. nothing makes me harder than the thought of you helpless underneath me.”

you moved your hands a little, signaling that you wanted him to let go, which he did. you brought one hand up to his hair and another to his back.

you started rubbing his scalp, making your way down to his shoulders and upper back. doing the opposite with the other hand, scratching his back while working your way up tp his shoulders.

if he had marked you up, you were going to do the same to him.

he hissed when you broke the skin on his shoulder, but his look of pain quickly turned into a smirk. he took his free hand and shoved two fingers in your mouth, pushing them as far back as he could go. making sure you were drooling all over his hand and yourself. making sure you were gagging around his fingers and still not giving.

you removed a hand from his back and pulled him from your mouth.

he laughed the put the fingers in his mouth, licking your spit off.

he then took that hand down to your clit. shigaraki had one hand on your clit and the other around your neck.

just how you liked it.

“dont cum without permission.” shigaraki grunted out.

“mmmmh” you hummed in response, you had wrapped a hand around his wrist, the one you were wearing like a choker. your other hand was still scratching his back.

his thrusts were still fast and still powerful, he masterfully hit your gspot just about every time. you listened to his soft grunts and the sound of his balls slapping your ass. it only stung a little.

he must have noticed you zoning out as his long skinny fingers teased over your clit.

your eyes met his, both your hand found his wrist, “beg” he whispered.

“p-please sir, ive been dreaming of you for an entire month. i j-just want to cum with you”

with that his thrusts grew staggered, “we can make that happen”

you held on to the tension in your lower stomach, waiting for his signal. he continued to rub your clit, he knew exactly where the little bundle of nerves was. he touched it slowly and sensually. it didnt match the pace of his hips because he used much more thought when pleasuring you.

“i can feel you shaking” he whispered.

you whimpered.

“is it okay if i cum in you?” he whispered

you nodded to the best of your ability, his grip on your neck loosening. you still squeezed his arm, being sure to use your fingernails so everyone knew he had a girlfriend.

he moaned and threw his head up.

the tension inside of you released. you came around his cock, your walls clenching and releasing over and over, milking his cock.

while you rode out your high, he came inside of you. moaning dramatically as you whined beneath him.

he removed his hand from your throat then the hand from your clit and collapsed on top of you.

both of you heavy breathing.

“thank you” you whispered while stroking his hair.

he slowly crawled off of you and stood up.

“come to the bathroom we gotta get you cleaned up” he said softly.

“can you help me”

he picked you up bridal style and carried you to the bathroom, the two of you admired the marks made by each other. he sat and waited while you peed and took a bath. praising you over and over.

he moved from the toilet seat to sitting on the floor next to you and asked “so do you know what destroy dick december is?”

masterlist

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki smut #yandere shigaraki #mha shigaraki #mha smut #mha x reader #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #boku no hero academia tomura #lov smut #lov headcanons #shigaraki brainrot #yandere mha #shigaraki fluff

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grinnoire · 5 years

Text

in an effort to obliterate prototype 2 from my mind here's a list of hcs for a dana-is-fine-now 5yrs later self-indulgent au

alex, dana, and ragland moved to canada via some -cough- slightly illegal maneuvers, so blackwatch can't move in on them even when they find alex again at risk of causing an international incident

(basically canada is like "hes been here for 5 years and its been fine, also if youre gonna provoke THAT then do it on US soil bc we know what happened to manhattan and do NOT want a repeat in toronto (also, cranky bc your bioweapon is ours now arent you)")

(everyone thinks ragland died after contact with ZEUS but he's fine and lives down the street.)

so mostly blackwatch just spies on the gang as they get up to dumb slice-of-life stuff

alex got a bachelor's in psychology (doing one of the "hard" sciences would feel like too much of a repeat and he's soul-searching) and now has a job as a forensic psychologist. mostly he's everyone's paperwork jockey because he doesn't complain when they dump theirs on him, but sometimes he gets to decide who gets to sit on jury duty. this drives blackwatch absolutely nuts

dana is working as an editor for a local magazine. she still keeps up with news journalism on her free time, but she’s decided to take it easy after everything that happened and the job pays pretty well.

dana has more or less come to terms with virus brother, mostly because every other week he goes on some dark and broody rant about being a monster/hearing the screams of those he's killed/his innate desire as a virus to kill consume assimilate infect, and you kinda just get used to it after a while

alex got a deal with a local slaughterhouse to buy some of their stock from them, since he likes his meat so raw it's still mooing. literally. they are convinced he's either a butcher or a cultist but you know what, that's his business

dana starts referring to the real alex mercer as just "my big brother," and not by name. similarly, she usually calls alex by name, but she also refers to him as her little brother, and when joking in private, her baby brother (he is five and she will never not find that funny)

she also really does think of him as a kid, and notes that one of the most divergent traits he has from the real alex (besides empathy) is how easily he trusts people (she jokes that she worries he'll get lured out into a white van behind the mall with promises of meat). he's also super dramatic about EVERYTHING, so her impression of him has slowly morphed from "scary semi-insane virus man but still a step up from my actual brother" to "haha, kid brother who sucks at smash bros"

since alex doesnt sleep, he usually whiles away the nighttime hours by hunting (he's got a permit and everything, at dana's insistence) or playing video games

he's REALLY GOOD at rhythm games but plays with the sound off ("it's distracting, dana" "it's The Point Of The Game, alex") and he's shit at fighting games ("have you ever considered NOT charging blindly in on me clearly about to unleash an ultimate").

he's also not great at puzzle games and dana has caught him melted into a pile of meat moss over professor layton before. this is in spite of his constant claims to have consumed some of gentek's most brilliant minds, so it only further cemented dana's "kid brother" impression

alex: i dont have a preference for toppings so i get everything on it since i dont eat with my mouth anyways. thousands of dead men's preferences means no preferences -later, after dana has forced him to try things using taste buds- alex: can i get a large pineapple and anchovy pizza with alfredo sauce instead of tomato the guy at domino's: im arresting you for pizza crimes

an argument they constantly rehash is that dana insists that alex should try shopping for real clothes while alex insists he can just shapeshift into whatever clothes he wants. this has, on one occasion, led to neighbors in the hallway overhearing alex yelling angrily that "IM ALWAYS NAKED, DANA"

dana is a big lesbian and kicks alex out of the apartment when she's got "friends" over. they both know what dana's up to but dana insists that her five-year-old brother "will understand when he gets older" when he complains about it

most people that know alex thinks he has no sense of humor. this is untrue. he just has a very limited one and very dull reactions. but one time dana showed him this

and he let out an involuntary snort/giggle and then looked very confused and kind of scared, like he had no idea what that sound was or where it came from

most people believe alex’s brows drawn, eyes narrowed glare means he’s angry, but dana knows that that’s actually his “i’m confused” look. this is also the look alex wears 70-80% of the time.

(his actual “i’m angry” look is brows drawn, eyes wide open)

alex has a tendency to blurt out random factoids, like a walking trivia book. these facts are ALWAYS morbid and he ALWAYS only realizes that after he’s said it out loud. dana goes “i think i’m coming down with a flu that’s been going around work” and alex goes “huh, you know flus cause 200,000 hospitalization and 3,000 deaths every year” and dana gives him a Look and he pauses for a long moment before adding in a “sorry”. dana actually thinks this habit might be a leftover from how OG alex mercer liked to mansplain, but when this alex does it it’s less insufferable and more just awkward, so she doesn’t mind it that much

“butterflies can taste with their feet. I can also do that, if i try.” “awesome, alex”

they have separate rooms since they both make a decent amount and live a ways out from the big city, and dana’s looks pretty normal, slightly messy, and alex’s is, hm. dana keeps insisting he try decorating it and actually putting stuff in it, so it’s home to his attempt at interior decor. the room features: a bookshelf crammed full of old textbooks and basically anything remotely novel-like that he could buy from the clearance rack, 2 (two) whole deer skeletons, picked entirely clean, a large, stainless-steel industrial-grade refrigerator/freezer unit (full of huge slabs of meat), the world’s loneliest computer desk and chair, a moldy cantaloupe in a glass box on the windowsill (”alex what is that” “i’m growing penicillin” “...why?”), a tiny photo of him and dana in a really big frame hanging on the wall, and also framed, dana’s MRI scans showing that she suffered no lasting effects from the infection. dana has had her partners accidentally walk into that room instead of hers and then call the cops. she kinda wants to say something to him about it, but since one of alex’s most common broody speech topics is how he doesn’t feel like he has a personality of his own, and since what he does have in his room certainly shows...”personality,” she figures she’ll leave it alone.

whenever a coworker starts to get friendly with him, alex pulls them aside to let them know he’s actually the blacklight virus that ravaged manhattan. he doesn’t actually use his powers because frankly it takes more energy than his current dietary plan can make back, but he insists until the coworker goes “haha okay, okay, i got it.” no one actually believes him but alex is convinced they all do, and dana has never been around for this to correct his mistake

#[prototype]#prototype #alex mercer #dana mercer #hi im in prototype hell hit me up to talk about it

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