#I'm so out of touch with this place

[gintamajustaway]

reading through your blog is like looking at a time capsule and im completely enthralled,,, as someone who always saw gintama posts back in the day but always thought id never like it so i never took the time to watch it (the biggest mistake of my life) i always knew how big the fandom was, but trying to find them now feels so disjointed compared to how lively it once was. seeing all of your masterposts with directs to gintama accs with nearly everyone deactivated fills me with this gaping hole of just how much ive missed out on, but seeing all of your meta posting and headcannons (of what still survives at least) and reblogged fanart gives at least a fraction of the community feeling - thank u so much for (unintentionally i guess ??) archiving what was ince such a big family<33

Sorry if this has been sitting for awhile, I very rarely come here. This is by and large why I left this account the way it is! I had a ton of fun in this fandom and met a lot of really great people, some of whom I'm still friends with today. Really recommend finding and joining an active fandom, it's a unique experience. Be safe, anon, and thanks for stopping by!

#Gin//tama #not sure if that still keeps stuff out of a tag lol #I'm so out of touch with this place #once again sorry if this ask is really old

[svtskneecaps]

ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it

and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain

and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😡🤬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to 😄😁 the second mariana shows up on the screen

like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that

#qsmp #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp mariana #shut up vic #block game brainrot #their dynamic is among the best things to have come out of this #and genuinely it was the thing that got me into qsmp in the first place #((even tho i only dove in for real after flippa was gone LMFAO)) #also shoutout to cellbit losing his shit when slime says me-WH*RE? #oh and for absolute clarity that ain't my tiktok lmao #probably obvious but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's 3:30 am i like to be Certain #i missed this live because LITERALLY I WAS WALKING IN THE DOOR FROM A SHOPPING TRIP EXACTLY AS IT HAPPENED #i am being so serious like i looked over my sibling's shoulder like 'so how are awards?' and there's FUCKING MARIANA #AND THE FUNNIEST PART IS THIS HAPPENED DURING THEIR PURGATORY INTERACTION TOO #I WALKED IN FROM BEING OUT RIGHT AS FUCKING SLIME AND MARIANA WERE GOING TO SPAWN TO MEET #SO I CAUGHT PART OF IT BUT NOT ALL OF IT #basically what i'm taking from this is i need to go out more often bc they have a tendency to exist together when i touch grass for reasons #that are not 'going to my job' #long tags #i'm not at the mariana convo in my rewatch yet so i may or may not have more to say when i hit that #but yea was thinking about it #this is the qsmp at its finest >:D its most base form #sillies being sillies together who might never have met otherwise >:D

[sysig]

You’re new to the Princess-Rescuing business, aren’t you? (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #The Captain #DAX #My brain presented me with a punchline and then stepped back to let me figure out how to get there #And then had the audacity to feel silly for making the path! #How rude #Lol #Well I did it anyway! And it was in fact silly but in a good and fun way! So there brain! Lol #It was admittedly a bit touch-and-go for a while - I love silliness so much! But it kept turning out in a way I wasn't satisfied with #And then I'd draw the next thing and be like ''No actually that's funny/cute'' and everything was fine - and then it'd repeat! Pfft #But I'm happy with it by the end so it's fine >:3c Trust the process! #Anyway - the the Actual Thing lol #Considering the various SCII/adjacent vibes lately it might not surprise you to hear that alt outfits have come back into my crosshairs #Cough cough Pirate Fic cough - but those aren't the only vibes! Make something similar but not the same! Why not fantasy! #It is a classic go-to lol #It was fun thinking how the Captain's uniform could be translated into a more Princely aesthetic haha #I didn't do the same for DAX but that's mostly 'cause I just wanted to put him in human clothes lol #Plus I'm sure you can imagine who else will feature :3c And they couldn't just match! Part of the comedy is appearance-based! #Which is part of why it's funny for DAX to answer in the first place haha ♪ That's no dragon! #The Captain always bursting onto the scene without thinking things over first haha - what were you expecting Captain! #Also hey rude don't look so relieved that DAX wasn't the princess! What if it was a test and he /was/ the princess! #He'd be in so much troubleeeee ♪ Well he still might be hehehe

[jimmyspades]

"That tongue of yours easily wraps around the most challenging of syllables. I think it’s my favorite part of that tongue, actually, the way it wraps around syllables." BOSTON LEGAL 4.04 "Do Tell"

#coleslaw 👍 #when he's a useless pathetic puddle of anxiety. I want to squeeze him #sorry for giffing entire scenes at once instead of doing normal sets like a normal person I'm not normal about him. #his physicality is so good and varied and eccentric I need it all in once place #james spader #alan shore #boston legal #* #when she touches his lips and he melts he's such a good boy. like does that feel good baby. sorry. sorry #he WAS a good boy getting his words out though even though it was hard. the way he practices hard then it all tumbles out of his mouth. <3 #I listened to kisses of fire by ABBA while making these if you want the Full experience. begging for more kisses burning burning etc

[elvenbeard]

Not Yet

Just a random little scene that might wanna still write out in full in the future. Angst, what angst? I would never...

100% blame @humberg for the wonderful upcoming poses fueling me with angsty thoughts and scenarios 💜

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 vp #cyberpunk vp #cp2077 vp #cp2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #cyberpunk v #kerry eurodyne x v #otp: to bad decisions #vincent ezaki #my vp #ASDFLHDKFF I'M so normal about them leaning into each other and V's nose touching Kerry's cheek and aösdkfhasf #reaching up to scritch his beard/ cup his face #and Kerry holding him close ;___; #timeline-wise this would both fit pre- and post-ending scenarios I've got floating around in my head #pre- would be obviously the relic situation getting worse and Vince is at Kerry's place #resting after a too long day avoiding to speak to Hanako - not yet - cause he doesn't know what she'll offer or if he'll even walk out agai #post-ending would be sth I'll get to in my fic soon o.o cause THINGS. THINGS happen and... YEAJadffkj

[dramarants]

i only want love triangles if it's whatever fucked up polygon junmo kicheol and euijeong have going on

#the worst of evil #ranting #idk how to articulate how juicy it is #junmo's fierce protectiveness of his wife - he trusts her but can't help his jealousy fear or frustration while trapped in the situation #euijeong hurting but putting her own life on the line worried for her husband while unpacking the memories of her first love #she can't help but sympathize with kicheol and what he's endured; haven't seen much of how she feels rn but it must be c o n f l i c t e d #(not necessarily even in a romantic way but wanting to root for a person chasing their goals who was once so important to you) #(all while grieving her mother without the support of her literal goddamn spouse by her side) #and kicheol. also grieving and trying to establish a place for himself and his crew yet drawn to junmo despite the red flags #his panic and desperation when jungmo bled out on him which must have triggered his own memories of losing taeho #junmo who has every reason to despise kicheol barely concealing his general rage but protects him like it's second nature at every turn #all while conflicted as a bystander to atrocities (and now willfully leaving another cop to die to protect himself his wife and the mission #getting mentally and physically pummeled left and right just bc his superiors demand it from him #all to please euijeong's family by using the promotions to prove himself and get rid of the stigma weighing him down #like !!! #and haven't even touched on kicheol wooing euijeong against his buddy's wishes and in such a pure heart fluttering way #accepting the risk for a second chance to bathe in the bright light she used to shine on his life #OMG AND BIBI'S ENTRANCE!! junmo realizing her interest gives him leverage and agency but struggling to use it to his advantage #it's soooo messy and i'm obsessed #that funeral arc is gonna haunt me for years #as is the tension during the pat down which def was supposed to be like a gang pride/dignity/lack of power against the jp folks thing #also testing their relationship and responsibilites as leader subordinate #but felt charged around whether kicheol would protest or junmo would accept the manhandling in totally different 👀 ways #goddamn i wrote an essay and this doesn't even scratch the surface of the meat of the show #tldr; i have many many feelings and for once the 'love triangle' isn't making me gauge out my own eyeballs #it's about power it's about raising the stakes and revealing things about the characters w/o dominating the plot

[frogonamelon]

It's that time of year again where it gets a little warmer and I remember that Amphibia is a show I very much enjoy thinking about. Have some Anne outfits, as a treat <3

If you would like to see what aspect of headcanon/ au worldbuilding had consumed my consciousness like a pestering maggot, feel free to continue below.

Hello! Welcome to I focus on researching one very specific detail until I burn out!

My entire day has been consumed by figuring out how Amphibia's farming works. Like... amphibians are carnivores why do they have farms?

Well, I'll tell you why! The Plantars grow animal feed for predominantly crickets but also others such as silkworms, spiders, snails, etc. They grow produce like cabbage, mushrooms, parsnips, potatoes, dandelions, and turnips as well as heartfruit, a fruit not found on Earth.

In the past, the original amphibian hunter/gatherer societies found that mealworms were attracted to fallen heartfruit, among others. They began to use this knowledge to make traps and eventually began both containing the worms as well as growing the fruit.

Despite mealworms historical prominence in the farming and feeding of Amphibia, crickets are more popular nowadays due to their higher levels of protein. They also began growing a larger variety of produce to further increase efficiency.

Heartfruit is a kind of tree grown fruit with the color of a raspberry, size of a kumquat, and shape of a peach (hence the name). The Plantar's orchard is the only producer of this fruit as its traditionally significant but not necessary for frog kind. They are Anne's personal favorite of the Plantar's produce, being chalk full of nutrients and somehow feels nostalgic to her.

Speaking of Anne, she survives mostly on the Plantar's produce along with cricket meat (knowing that she can at least eat crickets).

After discovering that the amphibians hibernate, she begins to plant pole beans, blueberries, elderberries, and other produce and herbs in her greenhouse to cultivate while she forages and stockpiles for winter. She preps and stores wild rice, pecans, and sunflower seeds (discovered through trial and error). She keeps spare root veggies and other product in the basement. The Plantars help her do this, once they understand the situation, drying heartfruit and salting and smoking fish as well as making jerky out of bugs that they know she can have.

Anne's gonna learn to survive, even if the first winter is especially hard.

#Not my usual content but I love her and this au so much <3 #amphibia #4 Stars Au #I've done the research for what Anne would grow and eat no less than four times and it comes out vastly different each time. #Researching what grows in swamps + what frogs eat + what bugs humans can have + what the plantars grow + ... #farmer anne #trans anne boonchy my beloved #I could not find a suitable place for this but a different farm grows spirulina (a freshwater algae) for tadpoles. Anne will also eat this. #They are sold in jars (like baby food) #This whole au is about emphasizing the differences between humans and amphibians #Anne is warmblooded? Must prepare for winter #Can't live on an amphibian's diet? Eat animal feed and forage #Sasha is more resistant to the harsh climate of the mountains as well as to dangerous substances like citris and salt #She eats orange slices as a power play is all I'm saying #Marcy ends up being the first to truly research Amphibia's oceans because she can acturally survive touching the sea #Desi (4th star) is called the 'Sunchild' for a reason #Can't breathe underwater? Learn magic #anne boonchuy #plantar family

[fooltofancy]

important to understand that my approach to oc design and characterization depends explicitly on how i'm playing that specific game, like. a thing you should know about ilya is that he is the kind of person who will dive into the middle of a large pull ahead of the tank and pop all of his mitigation while screaming because i get distracted and do that. constantly.

... it's the siren's call of the big aoe damage noises, ok.

#mostly im thinking about these things because they're the easy things to think about #i am. very. very. bad. at like deeplore dives lmao #so bad!!!!!!! i'm here for the emotional complexity do Not ask me where this man lives i don't know #... i do know. #once it starts branching out into history and family lore and godforbid fucking cultural lore i am just #so dumb. i'm so dumb i was not designed for worldbuilding even if it's just the world of one weird little guy #v invested in other people's sandboxes because mine is very small and it's also just full of rocks. #anyway. #my partner: BABY MOOOOOOOOODE #me: it's okay my heal is up it'll be FINE #also increasingly play casters like melee dps so everybody gets to suffer that as well #ilya standing directly under a very large guy in his stupid leylines like MANAWARD'S UP IT'S FINE #.... i dont play blm as much now honestly because to contribute i have to be less stupid. and that's not fun. #i really. REALLY enjoy the big melee dps damage noises #they're across the board better than caster noises. so disappointing because in my heart i am On Fire #sam+pal noises are the best noises in the game #SPINNING #i'm thinking too hard about backstories and it's not going well lmao #grabbing this creature by the shoulders and shaking him violently like WHO ARE YOOOOOOOU #concussed probably his brain is just sloshing around in there #babg mode blogging #this is also why he's canonically A Guy Who Touches Things He Shouldn't #because i'm that guy. #i'm the guy who touches things. #this explains sehren also like she would not be who she is if i didnt play dragona age with wild hubris and abandon #.... it wasnt fun unless i was wildly underleveled in places i didnt belong ok #every if mc ive gotten invested in also

[maipreciation]

#i'm so out of touch with what's going on with the adaptation that i didn't even realize the original atla creators left the production team #all the way back in 2020 citing creative differences which. is a bit of a red flag to me #idk. i guess hope it succeeds for the sake of the work that's gone into it (and the money good lord each ep's budget is $15 MILLION???) #but also i was never someone who thought there needed to be a live action adaptation in the first place #and unfortunately every new piece of news that comes out makes me want to watch it less and less #atla #avatar the last airbender

[thedreadvampy]

Jujitsu class got me showing up to work with somewhat suspicious bruising and a sore neck from being choked. 10/10 would recommend.

#red said #gotta say like as someone who. the majority of physical abuse I've experienced has involved being thrown around #dragged around and choked #there is something weirdly emptying about these classes #i think it's less the learning to defend against it and more the idea that I'm doing it in a safe place #like with people who don't actually want to hurt me physically or emotionally #and I'm allowed to fight back and i won't be treated like I'm trying to hurt THEM physically or emotionally #I'm not particularly good at it cause I've got the strength and flexibility but i keep forgetting what I'm trying to do #like OK GOT OUT OF YOUR LOCK GOT YOUR ARM CONTROLLED. wait what was the next bit? oh no i lose. #but i often can't even cope with people TOUCHING my neck and not only did we do several moves that involved pushing on each others throats #but when i sparred with the tutor he had me in two different chokeholds plus one i wriggled out of and i had a GREAT time #it's SO DIFFERENT to do stuff where you trust the people you're with #EMPOWERING not EMPTYING those are very different words

[rubberbandballqueen]

ever since i found out that highway gothic (typeface commissioned for use in the american highways) is optimized for legibility with just a brief glance at high speeds i cannot stop thinking abt how easily readable it is. like my eyesight isn't like immaculate or anything so i can sometimes have a hard time reading fine print but even when the roadsigns are kind of blurry they're still pretty easy to read

#the worm speaks #they use highway gothic in taiwan for english street signs too which makes sense #i never paid much attn to the highway/street fonts in america until i was in taiwan n star sent me the wikipedia page #listing out all the typefaces in use on roadsigns around the world n i was HOPING it would tell me the name of the typeface #for the cn signs in taiwan since it was such a nice cn font.... but no it didn't.... #but i did pay attn to the english signs there too n now that i'm looking at the ones in america i'm like. yeah that's the same one #it's also funny bc i looked at the highway signs there n Suspected they were the same bc the numbers looked the same and i was RIGHT #easily one of my Top Ten Most Useless Niche Skills Ever #others of which include 'knowing if a rubber band will snap quickly after stretching it once' (for obvious reasons) #'knowing the quality of a sheet of paper just by touching it' and 'can get full combos on rhythm games whilst walking around' #(the latter is bc i played mallet percussion in marching band so i had to obviously track my place in the bloc whilst playing)

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

#bg3 spoilers #?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say..... #it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me. #i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee #i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable. #bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen #makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there. #dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it #augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH???? #my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way. #Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3 #I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE #AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY #grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear #truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol #if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life #being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer. #Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this? #For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online #someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this. #why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness? #What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...? #hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!! #i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful. #but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting. #I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself #I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing. #I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come. #Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......

[landwriter]

Please, please tell me something about Untitled 1!

(By which I mean, of course, please share something you’re excited about)

excited about this Hob realization in 70s SF AU:

Hob grows quiet and starts unpicking a seam on his jacket, so he fishes out his cigarettes and offers the box. Hob takes one gratefully. “Thanks, man.”

---

“Anyways. Probably for the better. Doubt he wanted a queer or a poet for a son. Only other way I’ve really taken after him is smoking. Started two years after he died, same brand I remembered seeing in his truck. Lucky Strikes, like you. It’s where he had to smoke. Mom wouldn’t let him do it inside. Calls it a nasty habit.” Hob snorts. “’Least she used better words when she found out I was gay. I think she secretly hopes I’ll quit both. Send her a postcard one of these days: ‘Hi ma, San Francisco is great. I’m all finished with smoking and men. Still a poet, sad to say, but I don’t associate with the hippies here. Doesn’t the Golden Gate Bridge look lovely in this photo? Send my love to everyone.’”

Dream laughs. Hob beams, nudges his shoulder into him. “So. What about yours?”

---

“Why not?” He fumbles out a cigarette, lights it. He’ll play Dream’s mystery man for him. “C’mon, huh?” He takes a shaky drag. “Why not? Why don’t you take something from me, then, and we’ll call it even?”

Dream stares unblinking at him for a moment and then sets his beer down on the table with a sudden clatter. Shit, maybe he’ll deck me, he thinks, if I’m lucky.

Instead, Dream reaches out and pulls the cigarette from his lips and puts it between his own. Hob sways forward after it. Dream takes a long drag and tilts his head back to blow the smoke past Hob. His throat is pale. Like the fucking moon. His eyes haven’t left Hob’s. Sharp wet seaglass. Fuck, fuck, fuck, thinks Hob. Dream stubs out the cigarette and leans forward. He never smokes. He always has cigarettes, and he never smokes. His voice is rough from it. “Like that?”

#the sandman #dreamling #wip excerpts #seventies san francisco au #totally normal to like keep the cigarettes ur friend smokes on hand right #even if you don't really smoke #even if you only smoke when he's bummed one off you or passed you his #you do it then #just to wrap your lips around the filter where his touched #my writing #wip filename ask meme #in the third scene hob is drunk and desperate and fed up and referencing lines that dream wrote about His Man #and trying to take his place #this fic is so cute and romcom as a premise but then the romantic leads it turns out are fucking UNHINGED #and the backdrop is this very wild time and place in history #i did not mean for it to happen this way but i'm glad it did

[psikind]

hey so. childhood friend of mine commited suicide late july and his dad’s trying to fund the money for his funeral service - if people have the money to donate please do the service is in 3 days (august 5th) and he’s very close to the goal but otherwise it’d mean a lot if people spread the link around -> https://gofund.me/f04d9bf0

#gofundme #suicide #donations #idk what else I would tag this with but. yeah #sorry to the people that're gonna get jumpscared by a blocked tag I just felt liek this was important to share #he was like. the one irl friend I had consistently that never bullied me because we were both so different from everyone else #we fell out of touch but I always talk about him fondly and then my mom told me this morning and just. god #I'm really glad I'm gonna have a lot of support and love this month I already know that but what a way to start it huh. #I hope everyone's doing okay. if you're in a hard place right now take this as a sign to do something nice for yourself #talk to a friend go buy some chocolate listen to your favorite song anything #and if it feels like nothing's making you happy #please trust me when I say it will some day #I know everyone says that I know but I've been there I've been through some horrible fucking shit #like anime anti-hero/rival/love interest-to-die levels of trauma #trust me. trust. me. #it will get better. wake up another day. this too shall pass #sorry for the ramble I just feel Very Strongly about this

[violexides]

i think the biggest challenge mentally i'm personally experiencing is trying not to succumb to bitterness but. fuck. it's difficult seeing so many Arab & Muslim people on my campus be silenced by the actual school (as in like. publicly denounced several times by the administration for the entire school body). and yet we're still the ones advocating the loudest, even as there are people actively calling to ban us from organizing, people accusing us of bigotry when we're just trying to call an end to the genocide. and then people who are far removed from it, who aren't stopped on the street asked about this, who aren't harrassed or vocally told to shut up -- being dead silent. it's just fucking hard to handle honestly. people have dehumanized us so much.

#ides.txt #but i'm trying to just put my faith in God and in the fact that many people ARE organizing #it's just. a lot of people are holding the tiniest reasons not to speak out right now #one comment made. one political choice over the last 100 years. one person they don't like speaking out. #and they're deciding that they can't talk about it. they can't discuss the genocide because they've been hurt by that. #and i want to tell people kindly to get the fuck over it but i know that's not my place #as a non-Palestinian Arab and Muslim i should not be taking my grief and translating it into anger #but i just want people to sit with their discomfort for a little bit #especially in my school. because people are so out of touch with how bad the Islamophobia is. #i'd let this be rebloggable but i know this would get derailed away from what i'm discussing #and i know that other bigotry is on the rise but i needed to speak on this because very few people in my life are #and i know this is a microcosm thing but. while my school i will applaud is doing a good job acknowledging like #other instances of harassment going on. they literally refuse to speak on harassment Palestinians & Arabs are facing

[drewsaturday]

slightly mean little fandom rant that may not be very coherent because i am admittedly in a state of disorientation but like. anon is off so it's not like i'll have to experience consequences if i misspeak.

i hate being in that weird space of not having any new fandoms that have good communities, but any newer communities for my older fandoms are just insufferable to me because... we've already had these exact conversations about 7.2 times each by now minimum, whether it's discourse-related or just a silly headcanon, and it causes the only contributions i can actually make to be combative because i'm tired and these lengthy conversations are unnecessary to have for Me to come to the Right Conclusions.

and then i become insufferable as a result because i am just as annoyed by everyone else's earlier stage of fandom development, which they can't help, as they probably are at me and my comparatively elder fan jadedness because the repetitiveness of these experiences just is not hitting in the ways i need my fandom experiences to hit rn, where i'd ideally get to grow with people on similar levels as me?

it's like you guys are in kindergarten and i am a college freshman looking to advance the stuff i've already spent years building, so it would be mean of me to say "you are all so stupid" instead of appreciating your new enthusiasm at the world and its possibilities but god. we are not the same. and finding people who are the same, at least for those older fandoms, is a rough time because the amount of people who stick with a thing as long as you have is going to dwindle year after year if you've even had a slightly comparable starting point in the first place.

it would just be easier if i could join new communities for shows as they drop but... i'm either not into anything popular enough to have other fans at all in fanon environments, they are TOO popular and so i can't really connect to anyone, or binge watch culture makes community impossible to form at all... OR i am the annoying new fan that is as insufferable as the older fans and there are no other new fans around to match that energy either.

obviously the solution really is just dragging pre-existing friends into things as much as you can but... sometimes i just miss the lightning in a bottle novelty of being able to join a space at its beginning where everyone is about at that same level looking to hang out with other fans and make friends for a few years until you all exhaust that magic and hope you find another lucky place to plant some roots.

#txt #i am grateful i do have some friends and friend groups from older fandoms that have withstood time or that we just are on the same level #but like . i still have so many little gaps in my heart from places that became inactive or friends that i fell out of touch with etc that #i just. am not able to bring anything new into because i am reliant on the internet for my social experiences tm #and sadlyyyyyyy i'm just not matching with anywhere that has potential friends 2 adopt #maybe i need to try non-fandom communities but that means i need to develop new hobbies and i don't have time rip #actually. i am Realizing. in many cases the Perfect Communities i have found #i ended up being the one to start which y'knowww comes with bias #but i kinda forgot that if something isn't out there i used to have the time to just do it myself #and in recent cases where i've realized there's an absence of community for things i like #if no one else has done it i know i can't shoulder that responsibility rn so nothing happens #obvs it has not always been me - there have been a few started by other ppl too #it's just something thattt i can't do anything about rn but is a helpful littel realization i suppose