#I'm fat myself so its just :|

[justforsutff]

#tw: fatphobia #just in case #idk i got recommended a video titled something something glow up #and the character gets bullied bc theyre fat and then someone is nice to them and suddenly they don't wanna be fat anymore. #I don't mind the idea of self improvement especially thru the body but literally any time a character makes a *Drastic good change* of #themselves it's that wow now they're a generic skinny anime boy and is hot by conventional standards now! #Does that make sense? #Like I don't mind it I guess every once in a while but it's the fact that it's ALWAYS the case #I'm fat myself so its just :| #So i'll watch them turn into the most generic design as a glow up supposedly when I actually thought they looked way cute before LMAO #also the video the character stopped wearing glasses #like I get maybe the character could've switched to contacts but seriously? #glasses make him look to interesting we have to get rid of them #everyone in the comments of the video were also like This is so inspiring like #what is???

[batri-jopa]

I love myself looking sexy for the sheer pleasure of it

(Check the OTHER VERSION too!😉)

#me myself and I #my art #aromantic asexual #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aro/ace #aroace #this time the 'rough cut paper' effect was on purpose #my cap is a little darker. I'm already too fat for my only grey trousers. and the old turtleneck have its colours reversed #only the sunset flag is true🙃 #sunset flag #just me #aroace positivity #aroace artist #oh and it was like dicussing the idea of 'looking pretty to be liked by someone' that I guess I almost believed for some time in my life #so maybe it's beyond aspec actually #all the guys look good for yourself always!✊️

[daz4i]

i think we should stop making fun of the way ppl dress. saying this as someone who doesn't know shit abt (current) fashion and doesn't want to. all trends are manufactured by corporations you are not better than anyone else for being able to afford keeping up with them. also clothes can be used for self expression and making fun of anyone who dresses in any way that's not the norm is just kind of disney channel school bully behavior of you (that's not even getting into how certain disabilities affect your ability to wear certain clothes so some people literally CAN'T keep up with trends even if they wanted to and could afford it)

#I'd like to consider myself someone who knows abt fashion as a whole more than the average person #but i definitely do not care about its current state. i think it's evil on so many levels. always have tbh #growing up fat and autistic made me immune to this sort of bullshit ✨️ #i have many many thoughts i could write a lengthy and more coherent thing about but also. I'm lazy. maybe some other day #(didn't get into the weight thing or body positivity as a whole nor into the environmental effects of current day's fashion industry) #(like i said. many thoughts and opinions. this post is just a blurb. sorry)

[reinabeestudio]

you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh

#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona #i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO #i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever #sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live #note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl #and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things) #(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol) #that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes #(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥) #and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO #and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D #i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on #usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol #like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude #i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍‍♂️

[craycraybluejay]

Thick and surprisingly dense anime-boy white tummy hair

#i want to post pics so bad but that's a terrible idea #i'm fascinated with human hair and skin and stuff #sorry for being obsessed with myself it will happen again #hair is fluffy and somewhat sticky with protein fibre #what's my natural hair colour? I'll let you know when my body decides. #i swear im not snow white all over i do not have albinism im just like a mary sue anime character with color changing everything and magic #magic powers #autosexual #tbh i love tummy hair yall should show me tummy hair its so hot and cute and interesting #and in general im fascinated with body hair patterns #the way the colour is different in different places and the thickness and density and how it catches light and how its textured differently #body hair my beloved #seriously who went and invented body hair and made it that fucking cool #wanna bathe someone and observe their muscles and hair and skin + fat movement and #is my fixation sciency or horny? both? idk

[hyunrun]

tw ed in the tags !!

#im feeling sooo awful abt my body today its crazy #i dont wanna relapse but also i have prom and grad coming up so its very very tempting #silly side note but ive been friends w some moots on edtwt longer than I've known some of my irls and that's crazy to me #anyway i was looking at tweets of me being so majorly uber excited abt final hitting 45 kg T-T like man omfg #feb 23 me was the skinniest id ever been and i was thriving !! #and i highkey wanna be that again #was my hair thinning and did my face look so gaunt it scared me at times? yes #did i also feel my prettiest + have the most external validation from strangers etc ever? also yes !! #i feel fat and ugly rn but I'm also just very averagely weighted #but i have a naturally broader built but i feel like i look bigger even if I'm not ?? 9ufdkjhjs #anyway its scary looking through old tweets bc I'm talking abt skipping lunch like everyday and stuff like that's scary !! don't do that #but also it makes me wanna do it again like if i could look like that again... id genuinely kill myself for it #i was kinda also p healthy back then LOL only ate god food #cardio every evening + muscle training every morning #anyway teehee thats all i very much dislike my body rn and i hope i can lose a bit so i don't feel like dying <3 #i have hope bc im only 5kg off what i used to be so !! shouldn't be too hard yaaya if i can just get back in the 40s ill be happy like a 47 #i got this !! hopefully will not destroy myself in the process yay #tw ed

[mako-island-moon-pool]

Personally of the belief that live action fans who go onto animanga posts uninvited like 'I DESPERATELY NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK THE ART STYLE IS UGLY EVEN THO THIS OPINION IS IRRELEVANT TO THE POST' should be hit with a big rock. We already moved past this ten years ago, get with it or get lost. Swallow the hunger inside of you that demands everything be palatable to you. Maybe you could stand to be a little uncomfortable for a while

#Keep ur trashy comments to yourself #It's not even ugly! It's just not the conventional anime style so you deem it ugly. That's so fucking sad of you #You're the type of person who sees a piece of art and is like OMG WERE THEY ON DRUGS?!?!?!?!?! #Idk I think the art style is very fitting for the gigantic world Oda has built #People are allowed to be ''ugly'' because not all of us were born to be models. Shock and horror I know #(this is NOT aimed at the ppl who critque the way Oda draws women (to a degree...) bc I agree he could've done the same for women as he doe #The men by giving them way more diverse features and body shapes) #No this is aimed at the ppl who think the style as a whole is ugly and demean it bc it doesn't suit their tastes #Meanwhile their taste is the most conventional cookie cutter bland pretty boy/girl bullshit out there #(I say to a degree up there bc I think ppl go way too far with the criticisms like the one person who posted the Charlotte family identical #Sisters and went LOOK HOW SIMILAR THESE WOMEN ARE ODA SUCKS when they were MEANT to look similar) #^ yes that is an actual post I saw in like 2018 or 2019 when WCI was reaching its end in the anime and it made me die laughing #There are dozens of other examples you could've given but no. You intentionally chose the triplets (quintuplets? It's been a hot minute) #Rebecca and Nami and Vivi and Shirahoshi all having the exact same face with different hair? No I will use the identical twins as proof #What a unique way to undermine your own argument bc I was with you up until that #Anyway yeah the more I think abt the more I think the live action sucks actually for getting rid of Sanji's eyebrows bc they'd 'look bad' #Who cares? It's part of his design. You are cutting off parts of his character. Same w/ Usopp's nose. #Who fucking cares if it would have looked 'bad' or 'ugly'? Is that all you guys really care about? Keeping up appearances??? #I'm so sick of the shit I like getting 'remade' to appeal to people who will never actually appreciate why stuff looks the way it does #It's so shallow I hate it #<- yes I'm still bitter about what they did to my boy WW in the three guns reboot iykyk #And Livio and Razlo for that matter. What the FUCK was that about #Idk maybe it's cuz it's something I recognized in myself and attempted to squash so it's frustrating seeing other ppl do it #And again obvs Oda isn't perfect w/ this either as he draws evil women as fat old hags and his protags as skinny and beautiful #Or how he thinks not following ur dreams will make u ugly and fat and following ur dreams will make u conventionally attractive #I get it. Storytelling method. But u can do better. Use colorschemes instead of physical attributes or something like Veneer does

[wikagirl]

yo anyone else having the issue that you're being weirdly fatphobic towards only yourself?

#idk why I always hate something on me that I love on others #maybe It's because I lack the confidence to rock certain outfits/pieces so it looks off on my bc I don't math the vibe of the fit #I had to wheigh myself today to fill out a form that arrived in the mail yesterday #just a questionare for my doc about how I'm handeling my meds so far #and since the meds completely knock out hunter for some folks they can lead to eds and rapid wheightloss #I actually gained some wheight after my extreme drop when I started working #I'm assuming it's muscle mass because for the amount it went up I should see visual changes/have clothes fit different but there is nothing #in that department #but after being snuggeled up in warm sweaters for 3 months having to strip down and actually do an assessment on your body is #its ugh #just ugh #but I guess being the “fat” girl in a class of girls who were literally flexing on eachother with how often they purge #and thus you being picked on for your wheight will do that kinda shit to you #personal #tw body image #tw bulemia mention

[theloveinc]

the ideas i'm having right now vs. my ability to express them and myself

#im the one in the toilet btw #i just have to be like this for a second i promise i'm not looking for anything and will likely delete this in the morning #but damnnnnn ... i guess to put it nicely (toward myself). i am not where i want to be with my writing at all right now #and i'm so FRUSTRATED #i reread something of mine the other day and i was just like. yuck. i hate myself. #and it's probs just a weird extension of this whole... dysphoria thing im going thru right now but #YEESH I WANT TO EVOLVE #i feel like a big fat caterpillar ready to become a butterfly but idk how the hell to make my cocoon #part of me thinks im in the cocoon but......... it's been a long *ss time in here if so lmao #anyway thats just to say i have two ... or three bomb *ss ideas that i just can't put on paper right #and im not really satisfied with the dabi thing either even tho. i really wanted to be #and it sucks bc all i wanna do is be on here BUT I'M SCARED #hence why my ask responses have been. ok i wont lie. nonexistent #but i think abt my ideas every day and then just fold them up and put them away bc i think if i wait they'll get better #AND THEY NEVER DOOOOOOO #arggggggggggggg its making me so angry #but that's all #hopefully i can write this idea out soon and be free #cuz thats my dream #among bettering my writing along with myself #but hehehe im probs just tired #sorry to be a downer!!! i go beddy bye now #caitie blabs #delete later

[chanselysees]

.

#sorry i need to vent ignore this #my new years resolution for 2023 was to work out consistently and get fit #bc i was really embarrassed at how physically weak i was last summer #and for the most part i did but with prepa and stuff i couldnt exercise as much as i wanted #but i still lost a bit of weight and was somewhat happy with the results for a while but #now i hate it again i hate it so much #ive been dancing a LOT (like 4h/week min. which is a lot for a fulltime uni student) bc it's convenient and good cardio and most of all FUN #and yeah the weight i lost is due to that and my cardio is good and im definitely much more fit than last year but #i still hate the way i look. so viscerally. and i know its my brain telling me nonsense bc it's not like a body can 'look bad' #and i'm lit a healthy weight im just a little thicker than french standards? #but i need to exercise more i want to lose all this fat i pinch my skin and wish it would melt beneath my fingers #but i dont have time or money for the gym and no buddy to go with and im intimidated so i just work out from home but #it's not enough i feel so discouraged. body dysmorphia in the summer really doesnt help my seasonal depression #like i truly believed this year would be my 'summer body' or whatever shit that means and its not and idk what to do i just want to be #in another persons skin. have another persons body. anyone truly #to the point that dancing isnt even fun for me anymore it's just competitive w myself i want to maximize the calories i burn and #i sometimes record myself cause i want to see the steps i miss and i did and i saw my body and it killed all my joy. #made me wanna die and cry. i stopped dancing immediately and i just swallowed back the tears cause theres no way i look like that. #so repulsive and nowhere near where i wanted. and again i know it's in my head there's no such thing as a 'repulsive' body due to weight!?! #but i cant apply that reasoning to myself. and i hate myself so much rn #im being called for dinner rn but i'd honestly rather not eat. i think i'd feel horribly gross if i ate anything right now #i told my friends i'd stop using hunger as a form of self-punishment but it almost feels satisfying in a twisted way... like i deserve it #clara tais toi #like ia m SO obsessed with my appearance in a way that is borderline unhealthy i am SO #preoccupied by how im perceived (physically) if i look hot if i look pretty if i look cute at any and all times and #the answer is never ever satisfactory because other ppls judgement of me cannot fix my own but like #it's so exhausting. i'm so exhausted #dl later

[the-acid-pear]

Okay I'm home now and i can fully and freely type. Anyway mild spoilers for into the spiderverse i guess?

❌❌❌

Anyway uh. Yeah it... It was a tiny bit of a disappointment. It didn't do it for me at all. I feel like this movie is more of an art exhibit and i mean that as a fucking insult. Like sure the animation fucks my ears are ringing and my head aches horribly (that's on me for thinking i can be autistic and watch this on theaters) but like, the story man? It just so much (DEROGATORY).

It commits the sin a lot of spiderman movies make and that is that it bit more than it could chew. Not because they're bad at handling a complex story, but because they tried to juggle like 5 at once. And that never fucking works (my ear is still ringing and it hurts I'm in pain rn -_+ just wanted y'all to know)

Like it introduced SO FUCKING MUCH and it all was cool yeah! Just like electro was cool, and Harry, and Gwen, and captain Stacy. You know what in trying to fucking say? There's only so much you can do in 2 hours and you can just throw all you have all at once at the viewer because all you'll do is leave them disappointed wanting for more of that.

I feel like a baby. They show me this cool thing but nuh uh! Enough of that! Here's this new cool thing! But nuh uh! Enough of that- and so on. Like there were so many cool characters and ideas and concepts and shit but it could barely balance it all. YOU KNOW HOW BAD I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF THE SPOT?! HE BARELY WAS HERE!

It's like, you cannot fucking make a whole movie as the introduction to your next movie. That just sucks. You're setting yourself up for failure.

Like I'm just so upset bc it was full of amaizing things but it didn't fucking deliver in any of them!!!! And God don't get me started on the references. I think this was one of the worst ways to fill your movie with references. Like at least let me fucking process what I'm seeing if you are gonna waste so much time here, but also just... Don't make it so fucking blatant.

Like man i... This was a very experimental spiderman movie which i appreciate in a way but... It's not what I was expecting. To me, personally, it was disappointing. And also not designed at ALL to watch on cinemas. I think that last bit is just a fact.

I'm just kinda sad man. Like i loved Miles and Gwen's drama and i loved Miguel but I also wanted to see more of, you know, THE WHOLE FUCKING NEW CAST AND THE NEW FUCKING VILLAIN THEY INTRODUCED BUT SHOWED ONLY FOR LIKE 2-3 SEGMENTS MAX???????

LIKE HANDS ON HEAD EMOJI WHAT WERE THEY DOINGGGGG 😭😭😭😭

#luly talks #im sorry to the people who loved this movie i am so upset #on funnier news i found the spot is called la mancha in spanish which is funny bc mancha is what we call a common kids game #in fact i remember that the english name for that is tag we call that mancha #LA mancha #btw i did love Miles' mom having more of the spotlight it was like a little treat for us latinos fr #also. the amount of cop stuff was a bit too much. i wouldn't call it pro cop like some idiot i saw the other day but it. like. hm. y'know? #like this movie feels like an art project something you'd see the fans do and if they did you'd allow the imperfections #but it was made by an studio and there were expectatives in the table like it. it just doesn't stand on its own at all #I WANTED MORE OF PAV AND HOBBIE MAN. I FUCKING DID. HOBBIE ESP I HAVE A CRUSH ON EM #they/them too right? didnt really hear it well but I'm sure i heard em be called they #i will say tho i loved the pear shaped spiderwoman that was super cool #i did literally joke about being too fat to make a spidersona b4 watching the movie and sure she was a woman i aint but it was nice anyway #but yeah it just. it tried to chew more than it could bite. the spot was so cool tho #the spot and hobbie are my guys i love them #man I'm just sad i really am im repeating myself bc im too overwhelmed to retain thoughts so idk if im being clear but like #this movie had a LOT of good things but it delivered on nearly NONE of them #like just commit! you want this to be a story about Miles sure do that but just focus on him and that's it #dont throw in so much and leave us yearning for more bc now we have the old cast AND the new cast both and we barely saw any of these new #ppl interacting we barely fucking know them #anyway just SAD man

[mrfoox]

Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and think 'it looks like I've lost weight!' but then in the same day I can see myself and think I've gained

#miranda talking shit #I cant rightfully judge myself like i cant tell unless i have numbers to go by #And i dont... I dont own an scale /: #I just know last time i did weight myself was about a year ago and then i was like 96kg which is as bif as ive been I believe #But after that i did continue to binge for a while so i may have gotten to 100 tbh #Now ive been monitoring my calories for about 7 months? Usually stay in 1700-1800 calories some days i go under #And once every other week or so i go over #If i have lost weight i cant say its been in the best or correct way but at least better than when i had my starvation year in 2015-2016 #Im kinda curious though if i have and how much or if I'm just imaging it #I cant tell bc of my messed of self image. When i was heavily undereating for a year i didnt realize #I had lost weight until my sister pointed out that I looked thinner/good and then i got weighted and i was like 70kg which is considered #Normap for people my height but i have never before then been in the normal weight range always been at least 10kg over the line #My weight and me will probably never be friends. Can say feom experience losing my extra weight and being 'thinner' didnt help #Me at all and i still hated to see myself/thought i was fat. Now i have an improved self-image but i also have my doubts #If I'd actually feel more confident losing weight. Bc i cant 'see it' i just feel big/huge #Idk where im going with this all as usual but yeah just ranting i guess

[monstermoviedean]

.

#putting this in the tags because i do NOT want this to blow up #but good lord i just saw the phrase 'person of size' used as an example of a body type #and look. i am fat. it's taken me a looooooong time to get comfortable using that term for myself. I respect that not everyone is #comfortable with it and that many never will be. and i fully support however people want to identify #and also person of size makes me want to shake somebody #fatphobia is real and pervasive and oppressive #and also even an implicit comparison to racism makes me really uncomfortable. #like. that is not a one to one. people are really shitty to fat people but fat people were not forcibly enslaved and brutalized bc of size #not everything has to use parallel language. i would not be okay with fat lives matter either! blm must be supported in standing on its own! #the stunning thing is that this term was used in an equity training that is explicitly race-centered and deeply conscious of language so. #my brain is all pretzeled. #oh and after all that there isn't even a category for size in this worksheet so if i wanted to identify as fat i'd have to put it in the #ability category which feels gross and uncomfortable to me #again full respect to people and how they identify but i personally would not classify my fatness as a disability. maybe just me though. #also adding that if anyone has thoughts they'd like to share i'm down to talk!

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(did i just turn in an assignment that's due in three weeks? yes yes I did.)

#and thats on neurodivergency in academia #if i dont do it right now when I'm thinking about it #it will get done at the 9th hour or I will just forget about it entirely #sorry not sorry #because i know my peers have even thought about this assignment ONCE since it was briefly talked about in the syllabus 2.5 wks ago #i know they haven't read through an entire text book already #but if i dont do it right now when I have the time and space and capacity! it wont get done! #so it looks like im a really good student. so ahead. so ontop of things #but in reality. its just a big fat lesson I learned after killing myself to 'keep up' in HS #(which i did. I kept up SO HARD) but at what cost? #a lot of my mental energy. #this is what i meant when i said supercede neurotypical expectations

[dirt-mccracken]

Soooo fun and quirky sitting alone in your old neighborhood on vacation❤️

#no im not having any feelings❤️ #No I can't see the ghosts of all my possible realities❤️ #How could you imply the past consumes me while driving me back? #it just sucks bc I want to leave slc #so when vacationing ive been trying to ask if I could picture myself with a life there #and basically all the PNW its a big fat yes #but when im in Seattle I see my actual life #my real friends #the tangible reminder I ALREADY have a life in this city #and if I come back I will be #in some way #returning to thatlife and person #and the bigger question: Do I actually want that? Is that a person I could happily be again? #or should I be trying harder to move to pdx? #should I just go with whatever is handed to me first? #anyway! #I'm gonna get stupid high and wander the grocery store I frequented when first moving #gonna cry a ton today and then go see MCS tonight

[sketchesandnonesense]

ok I HAVE to bitch about it bc it has been haunting me bc every time I open up my art fight profile to check things I have to see this one attack I got and I dont think the person has a tumblr so they probs won’t see this

BUT

fucking

I am still seething over it and I need more people to attack me so it can get off my front page.

Because it was the most painfully awful rendition of my character.

My character is unmistakably fat, and she’s not very feminine

and this person not ONLY made her skinny

but also gave her big boobs

And huge eyelashes and earrings and nail polish

and a very out of character facial expression that felt vvvaguely sexual?

Its just. 

That’s NOT my girl.

but they said on their profile n shit it’s their very first art fight and that was their first ever attack and I did a revenge (bc I always try to) and thanked them for it anyway because I didn’t want them to get discouraged or to dislike art fight because of a bad experience.

I deserve a goddamn nobel peace prize stg

anyone else have this problem???

#'im not gonna bitch about it anymore' I tell myself before I have to scream again because its gonna piss me off til I dont have to see it #im not gonna post it or anything but just. I am struggling. #if you know you know and if you know please dont post it either dont be mean to them just because they're bad at art #and can't respect my character's design #I legit went back n actually put down character permissions bc of that lmao. i orig had none #now i basically have one saying 'keep them their canon bodytype' #also with all the little misc details they added the hilariously forgot her lil mole under her eye #ok im done bitching now I Swear #it just hits my brain Very wrong esp. bc like. my girl is FAT. it is like. v important to her character design. do not draw her skinny i stg #next person to do it tho has no excuse because I have my permissions up so if they do I'm gonna bite them idc